Llakor 0 Report post Posted June 21, 2005 (edited) Strong Style Typings - Philadelphia: Freedom to Fight Philadelphia, Here We Come! In a world consumed by the forces of corporate wrestling, everywhere fans bow down to Caesar McMahonus who is bound and determined to make wrestling as boring as possible. He is resisted by a few brave rebels desperately trying to keep wrestling FUN: the Rotten One, the Quacker, the Man called Zandig. If you take your magnifying glass to a map of North America and look north to Montreal (just beside a small marker that says “Bret screwed here (by Bret) – VM”) you will see that the forces of corporate wrestling are being resisted by a small band of Gauls… who are packing? Yes, packing. All but the Gaul’s DJ Stab. (So-called because listening to him is rather like being stabbed in the ear with an ice-pick.) Stab is tied to a tree away from his mixing board. Fortunately, Stab hasn’t been gagged (yet) so perhaps he can tell us why everyone is packing… “Who are we?” “We’re the International Wrestling Syndicate” “Where are we going?” “Philadelphia, Viking Hall, ECW Arena” “What are we going to do?” “We’re going to celebrate our FREEDOM TO FIGHT!” Thanks, Stab, now on with the gag. Yes, the International Wrestling Syndicate from Montreal is heading to Philadelphia to present Freedom to Fight at Viking Hall, July 9th. (As part of a double-header with CZW) Doors open at 1:30 pm, Show starts 2:00 pm. Ticket Prices for IWS (or both IWS & CZW)) First Row: $35 ($60) Second Row: $30 ($50) Third to Fifth Row: $25 ($40) General Admission: $20 ($35) For those who have never heard of the IWS, we are a band of Crazy Canucks who put on the best wrestling shows in Canada. (And we are modest too!) We are the first Canadian wrestling promotion to have its own PPV in Canada. We are the only Canadian promotion to have its shows shot, edited and released by Smart Mark Video. We have introduced to the world to top stars like Sexxxy Eddy, Kevin Steen, El Generico, Beef Wellington and EXesS. Fans of the IWS in the States who have never had a chance to come to Montreal have had a chance to see glimpses of the IWS – the psychotic Damian, his rival Viking who can chop a man’s chest to bloody ribbons, and the dapper Dan Paysan at CZW Trifecta. The IWS champion (and CZW Ironman champion) Franky the Mobster. The IWS tag team champions the Flying Hurricanes (Takao & Kenny the Bastard). The technical wizard of the IWS, Kid Kamikaze. On July 9th, wrestling fans in the States will have a chance to see a full IWS show. This show will make wrestling history. It will be the first time that a Canadian wrestling promotion will have the chance to put on a show in the historic ECW Arena. It is a huge opportunity for us and we intend to put on the damnedest show that we can. Those who have seen us in Montreal know that our goal is always to put on a show that is fun to watch. So, we are packing and we are not forgetting to bring the FUN! ************************************************ Match-A-Day I will be announcing at least one match a day over the next week. Eight Matches in all. Monday, June 20th, 2005: Steel Cage! IWS Champion, Franky the Mobster will defend his IWS title in Philadelphia in a steel cage against WWF veteran Pierre Carl Ouellet. The Quebec Wrestling legend PCO is a three-time WWF tag team champ, a WCW hardcore champion and IWS champion. PCO lost his IWS title last June to El Generico during the IWS 5th Anniversary Show. This is the first time that the IWS title has ever been defended in a steel cage. In fact, it is the first time that the IWS has ever been able to hold a steel cage match at all. Monday, June 20th, 2005: Let the Big Boys Play! One of the many highly anticipated debuts at Philadelphia: Freedom to Fight is the Career Killer, Kurt Lauderdale. US Fans have been hearing rumours about the Monster from Hemmingford and now they will be able to see that the stories are true. Kurt Lauderdale is big enough to look Sid Vicious in the eye. He is perhaps the most creative, the most destructive big man in Canada. In Philadelphia, his opponent will be the IWS Hardcore Hero, the Green Phantom, perhaps the only man in the IWS, who can match Kurt Lauderdale in strength and power. These two men started a friendly rivalry this year, but that broke down into a brawl at Scarred For Life when they missed a chance to win the IWS tag team titles as a team. Expect violence. Expect a brawl. Most importantly, since the winner of this match will have a strong claim to a shot at the IWS title, expect that these two men will do anything to win. ************************************************************ Tuesday, June 21st, 2005: Tuesday Tales From the Terrace For those who are not from Montreal, a “terrace” is an outside patio joined to a bar, so that customers can eat and drink outside. It is a Saturday afternoon in Montreal and I am sitting on a terrace with Kurt Lauderdale, and because Montreal has been doing this weird weather dance where we go from Innuvik in December to Atlanta in July and back again, I am freezing to death in what I have started to call “Kurt Lauderdale weather” – April in Halifax, cold and wet with rain that hits the ground so hard that it rains upwards as well as down. Kurt is twirling a golden coin, ignoring the weather as well as the sign that says “Terrace Fermer”. "Patio Closed" We should have no chance in Hell getting served but one of the waitresses sticks her head out of the bar to glare at Kurt with a “If you think that I am coming out there” glare, which leads to a staring contest between her and Kurt. Mistake. Normally, out-staring Kurt is a bit like trying to out-stare a cat - a six foot five three hundred pound cat - but adding to the difficulty is the fact that Kurt is pissed off and as usual when he is angry there seem to be tiny orange flecks dancing in his eyes - a bit like how they used to describe Doc Savage’s eyes in the pulps only orange instead of gold. The effect is a little hypnotic. Which is how I end up paying for a tray full of beers (and over-tipping like a wuss.) Kurt, fuelled by Belle Guelle "Nice/Good Mouth", launches into a rant… “You see this coin? This is what I won in that little bet with the Green Phantom. A one dollar coin. A loonie. But not just any loonie, this is one of the coins where they replaced the loonie with Terry Fox. You think about it, Terry Fox is probably the Greatest Canadian Hero of all time. I mean, the guy has his leg cut off because of cancer. So he’s an amputee and I can dig that. But rather than giving up, he decides to run across the country to raise money for cancer research. A marathon a day, every day, running on pavement with that freaky metal leg grinding into his stump every single lurching run-step he made. And then he gets half-way across the country – Thunder Bay – gets diagnosed with cancer again and dies. Our biggest hero was killed by the country.” While I am reflecting that the marathon itself is named after a Greek hero who ran 26 miles in full armour to deliver an important message during the battle of Marathon… and then immediately dropped dead, Kurt has spotted a bunch of rugby-shirt wearing posers drinking Coors Light and he is good-naturedly berating them, “Why is American Beer like making love in a canoe? Because it’s FUCKING CLOSE TO WATER!” And they laugh, because it is Kurt Lauderdale and when the Career Killer tells a joke, you laugh even if you have heard the joke a thousand times before. Kurt drops the coin on the table, Terry Fox side up and looks serious. “That’s the thing with this country. It kills. The hero challenges the country and the country wins. You can freeze to death, burn to death, drown. You can be biking your mountain bike in the woods and BAM! Grizzly bear takes your damn head off. This country will kill you if you’re not careful. I think that’s why Terry Fox is our biggest hero. Because I think we all believe deep in our guts that he knew he wasn’t making it across alive and he decided to do it anyway. When the hero challenges the country, the country ALWAYS wins. I just made a trip out to Two Mountains you know. Home of the Green Phantom, the Hardcore Hero of the IWS. The “Ancient Green Hills of Two Mountains.” Those hills? They are manicured, pedicured, domesticated, tamed. They aren’t hills anymore, they’re bumpy fucking lawns. And you drive by the houses in Two Mountains? They are all the same fucking house repeated over and over and over again with the same Japanese sports coupe in the driveway for the kids and the same SUV for Mom and the same toy pick-up for Dad – without enough torque to tow a fucking canoe. The Green Phantom is a hero of the fucking SUBURBS. Me, I’m from Hemmingford. I’m from the Dark Woods. I’m from the country. In Hemmingford, we start the day with the dawn and we finish the day with dirt on our faces and blood on our hands. I’m not some suburban hero man, I’m a killer from the country. When the Hero challenges the country, the country ALWAYS wins. When the Hardcore Hero challenges the country, challenges Kurt Lauderdale, what do you think will happen? Like Terry Fox, first I’m going to break him and then, then I’m going to kill him.” Tuesday, June 21st: Tag Team Title Match I have confirmed that the Flying Hurricanes will defend their IWS tag team titles at Philadelphia: Freedom to Fight. It appears that their opponents will be the Sultans of Smirk, 2.0, Jagged and Shane Matthews. How they managed to climb from a dark match demotion to a title shot in less than a month, I haven't quite figured out yet, but I'm working my backstage sources for information. *************************************************************** Wednesday, June 22nd: Summer of Sequels Movie reviewer Joe-Bob Briggs once explained the reasons that most sequels suck: the people making the sequel forget that they are supposed to make the same exact damn film over again which is how you end up with a Halloween movie with killer dolls when people want to see Michael Myers gut a busload of baby-sitters instead. This summer the IWS bring you the sequel that you want to see: Viking/Damian TWO. There is enough raw hatred between these two men to shatter glass and splinter wood, but odds are these two will go hardcore using only their own bodies as weapons. Viking can draw blood with his bare hands and Damian... What can you say about Damian? The psychotic self-proclaimed "God of War" takes no prisoners, makes no friends and leaves his opponents bloody and limp in the ring. Knowing Viking though, he will be looking to change the ending of the first match and get his revenge on Damian. If anyone can humble the "God of War" it is the man who was his tag team partner for the better part of three years. No matter the ending though, this is one sequel where you will get your money's worth. Edited June 22, 2005 by Llakor Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
