Ghost Machine vs. Bryan Rodgers

[Guest bennerisbetter]

EH!

EH BOO!

(tunktunktunktunk) EH EH EH BOO!

(pyooooooooooo)EH BOO!

(tyah)EHEHEHEH BOO BOO!

 

The crowd erupts in a manic fury of adulation and hero worship as the now world famous Ghost Machine appears! After last week’s disaster, the fireball is gone, but the Machine is back!

 

PETE: One of the only men in the SWF to have NEVER lost a match, Ghost Machine is a heavy favorite for tonight’s bout.

 

KING: Something isn’t right about this guy. It’s like he’s a robot or something.

 

His haired burned by last week’s fire, Ghost looks cooler than ever as he rolls into the ring with a visible erection.

 

 

#The world is a vampire,

 

Heated boos as “Maniac” Bryan Rodgers enters the complex.

 

KING: He looks mad.

 

PETE: Yes.

 

#Sent to drai-ai-ain

 

As some weird vampire song plays, Maniac runs to the ring, furious. He shouts something to the ref and is handed a microphone.

 

“Ghost Machine! I’ll kill you motherfucker!”

 

KING: What is this about?

 

PETE: Hm. I do not know.

 

“You raped my girlfriend, cockjob!”

 

Ghost shakes his head and grabs the mic!

 

KING: Is Ghost Machine going to speak?!?!

 

PETE: Maybe.

 

A black man jumps the guardrail and enters the ring. He is scrawny, with a basketball jersey, gold chain, and dreadlocks. He snatches the mic.

 

“I am Ghost Machine’s manager, JL Crunk!”

 

KING: How did this guy get past security?

 

PETE: He has a contract.

 

“I want to let this man know that Ghost Machine did not rape his girlfriend!”

 

“Yes he did! She told me.”

 

“Well that bitch was lying, because….”

 

He looks at Ghost, who nods.

 

“Ghost and I are lovers.”

 

BOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

“It’s true! And I am sick of living in a country where our lifestyle is persecuted! I am here to show the world that a gay man CAN do something great. As an urban music producer, I find it necessary to teach children that homosexuality is not a disease. So look for my new album, ‘Rimshot,’ in stores next week!”

 

He drops the mic and embraces Ghost, leaving a shocked Bryan Rodgers quite confused. Maniac tosses the mic away and returns to his corner.

 

The Bell is Dung.

 

KING: Well, that was a shocker! As a heterosexual male and the husband of a heterosexual male, I am appalled!

 

PETE: Personally, I believe gayness is no worse than say, cancer, but that’s my opinion. Besides, I came here to see two well oiled men rolling around on the ground, not gay people! Let’s get this show on the road!

 

The two competitors stare each other down. Carefully, Ghost advances towards Rodgers. Unsure of what to expect, he backs away, and bumps into the turnbuckle. Ghost rushes in, confident of his advantage and applies a sleeper hold. Rodgers struggles at first, but is soon worn down and starts to flutter.

 

PETE: Is this one over before it starts?!?!

 

KING: Actually, it already started.

 

As JL Crunk cheers him on, Ghost Machine lets go in search of a better grip. Maniac sees his advantage and presses it, headbutting Ghost and jumps to his feet. The monstrous Ghost seems to have hardly felt the attack, but a stream of blood trickles from his nose.

 

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! The crowd, dead set against homosexuality, has turned on their beloved Ghost Machine is now backing Rodgers.

 

Rodgers grins and throws a hard left at Ghost, who swerves and takes the blow on his shoulder. The beastly Ghost lifts Rodgers into the air and throws him halfway across the ring. Not as confident, Rodgers climbs wearily to his feet. Ghost pauses in his pursuit and adjusts his gear. Maniac runs in and plants a rather sloppy dropkick square on Ghost’s forehead. He wobbles, lurches, and crashes to the ground.

 

YEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

 

Feeling the momentum swing to his advantage, Rodgers mounts Ghost and applies an armbar.

 

KING: Ha! I wonder how Ghost like being mounted! Guess he’s used to it.

 

PETE: I’m afraid I don’t follow.

 

KING: Ghost Machine is a homosexual. I was making a joke that he regularly has other men mount him, to have sex.

 

PETE: Ah.

 

Ghost comes to his senses and uses his remaining arm to smash Rodgers in the face. He cries out in pain and falls onto his rear. Ghost rises and delivers a powerful kick right in the face! Rodgers’ eyes role back into his head and he collapses. He jumps on the Maniac and slaps on a leglock. Rodgers awakes in pain and immediately starts reaching for the ropes. Ghost momentarily releases pressure, and Rodgers scampers to the ropes and grabs on for dear life. The ref breaks the hold. Ghost is angry! He stares at the ref and begins to argue, not noticing the Rodgers is climbing to the top rope. JL Crunk shouts to Ghost, who spins around just in time to eat boot as Maniac shoots through him with a dropkick.

 

KING: Rodgers has the best dropkick in the business!

 

PETE: I disagree.

 

Ghost pops right back up and is met with a brutal Martial arts kick. His face erupts in a glorious shower of red, but Rodgers grabs him before he crashes to the mat. He struggles to lift Ghost.

 

KING: Looks like he’s going for that northern lights suplex of his. I don’t think he can lift Ghost Machine……

 

Maniac gives up and is promptly suplexed by Ghost, a perfect belly-to-belly. He pulls Rodgers to his feet and whips him into the ropes. Rodgers sprints back and hits the devastating Cactus Clothesline, sending the Amazed Automaton spinning over the ropes. The Mystified Machine attempts to get up, but collapses. The crowd erupts. Rodgers starts to climb out, thinks better of it, and ascends the post. He turns around and prepares for a moonsault. This is unwise, as he does not see the Confident Contraption on his feet and fully aware. Maniac performs a beautiful moonsault, but is caught in mid-air by Ghost. He sags under the weight and force of the attack, the buckles, then crumples, dropping the Maniac straight on his head.

 

OH MY GOSH! OH MY GOSH! OH MY GOSH! The audience is in a frenzy.

 

The ref counts seven as Ghost climbs to his feet. Eight as Ghost rolls into the ring, then out to break the count. JL Crunk applauds and cheers. Ghost grabs a handful of hair and lifts the Virginian to his feet. He rolls him into the ring, then follows. Standing up, Ghost sets up Maniac for a powerbomb and executes perfectly. The ring quivers as 237 pounds of muscle crash to the mat. The shock shoots through every inch of Rodger’s body and he convulses in pain. Ghost looks tired, and sags against the turnbuckle. After some time, Rodgers clambers laboriously to his feet. Ghost Machine sees this and walks towards him, Rodgers turns around.

 

KING: Did he just put something in his mouth lol?

 

PETE: I don’t see what good anything could do now…..he’s finished.

 

Ghost is about to place his meaty paws on Rodgers when the Maniac spins around and spew green mist into the air!

 

“AAAHHHHH!!!!!” Ghost shouts in pain as the blinding mist…..blinds him. He ambles around, awkwardly searching with his hands for Rodgers. He finally gives up and the Befuddled Brawler stops in the middle of the ring and claws at his eyes. BRAAIIIIIIIIIIINBUSTER!!!!!! Rodgers lifts Ghost Machine into the air and brings him down on his neck!

 

PETE: My god!

 

KING: They heard that crunch in Botswana!

 

Maniac crawls onto Ghost and collapses.

 

ONE!!!!!

 

KICKOUT!!!! Only a one count!!!! Maniac pops up in anger and fear and shouts at the ref, who only shrugs. JL Crunk pops onto the apron in celebration. The ref goes to shoo him away. Rodgers does the same, but when he turns towards Ghost’s body, he instead finds the Great Gadget standing and about to deliver A DEVASTATING MULE KICK TO THE TESTES! OMFG! Rodgers howls in pain and sinks to the floor just as the ref turns around. OMG! The ref saw it! The ref is shaking his hand in the direction of the beller!

 

BELL GUY: *rings bell*

 

Ghost Machine is furious he shouts to JL Crunk, who tosses him a chair. The ref has his back to Ghost. Ghost folds it up and lifts it high over the ref’s head, and

 

KRAKOW!!!

 

The chair lands with a sickening crack on the ref’s skull. His head scrunches into his neck, and a shock shoots through his body. His arms wiggle and his legs buckle and give out. Blood oozes from his ears as he lies on the mat. The crowd goes wild! Ghost Machine takes the chair and smashes it as hard as he can into Rodgers’ face. His face explodes in blood. His nose is a mess. Now Ghost sets the chair up so that one supporter is over Maniac’s neck, so if he steps on the seat it acts as a lever and pushes on his neck. Ghost ascends the top rope. JL Crunk gets on the mic.

 

“Reverse the decision or Ghost kills him!”

 

The whole arena is dead silent, except for Rodgers’ terrified wheezing.

 

“Foo, you trippin’ son? I said he’ll kill him.”

 

A security guard enters the ring, but JL pulls his piece on him.

 

“Get back, boy!”

 

The guard leaves.

 

“Now reverse the decision or this busta gets crunked out”

 

The ringside staff nods.

 

“Here is your winner, GHOST MACHINE!”

 

Ghost Machine nods in satisfaction, then launches into the air. He crashes violently on the chair, which crushes Rodgers’ neck. He lies flopping and rasping in the ring as Ghost and JL Crunk exit the area.