Jump to content
TSM Forums
Sign in to follow this  
KingPK

OAOAST HeldDOWN~! 7/14/05

Recommended Posts

So Hoff's got "unbreakable commitments" eh? Sounds like code for "My copy of Formerly Attractive But Now Anorexic Teen Starlets Monthly arrived, so I'm going to be holed up in my room tonight."

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

**EARLIER TONIGHT**

 

In a mostly deserted part of a parking lot in the Mall of America, with the show still a good few hours away. one person who has arrived earlier than most is "Silky Smooth" Leon Rodez. Pacing around the parking lot, Rodez is deep in conversation with someone on his cellphone.

 

RODEZ

Uh, yes, I understand you're currently looking for work. .... Yeah, I read it on the net. If it's any consolation, they NEVER should have released you. .... How did I get this number? I've got contacts. Listen, that doesn't matter right now. Look, where are you at right now .... Minneapolis? .... Visting family? Really? .... That's great! Look, I need a tag team partner for tonight. Well, actually, I need two, but I'm working on it right now. All I need to know is, how soon can you get down to the Mall of America in Bloomington?

 

....

 

Rodez doesn't seem to like the answer to his question.

 

RODEZ

You've still got plenty of time to get down here.

 

...

 

As he listens in, the expression on Rodez's face turns to surprise, then shock and then anger.

 

RODEZ

Well, you know what, fine! Forget it! Enjoy unemployement!

 

....

 

RODEZ

Oh and one more thing...I'm glad you didn't win that Diva Search! I voted for Maria anyway!

 

Angrily, Rodez pulls the phone from his ear and ends the call, with AUTHORITY~

 

RODEZ

Oh well. Onto the next one.

 

With a sigh, Rodez quickly dials another number, sitting on the bonnet of a nearby car.

 

RODEZ

Hello, is this Koko B.Ware? .... Yeah, Leon Rodez, OAOAST superstar here. .... Well thank you, I'm a fan of your work too. Loved the 'fro too. Listen, how close are you to Bloomington right now?

 

(FADE OUT)

 

OAOAST HeldDOWN~!

 

Fade in to the OPENING VIDEO~!, which plays to the strains (yet again) of Ashlee Simpson's La La and now includes Peter Knight raising the X-Title belt and footage of some of the women's division matches.

 

fireworks.jpg

 

Ooh, pretty. The camera pans away from the fireworks and reveals where this week's show is coming from:

 

mall_of_america.jpg

 

We go inside to the first floor of the East Rotunda, where about a thousand fans are seated around a HeldDOWN ring and makeshift set and hundreds more crowd the railings on each of the three overhead levels, CARL WINSLOW~! and OAOAST Security keeping things in order. The camera pans around, focusing in on signs that read "Global Pizza Exchange" and "Drek 4 GM". A crane shot swoops us over the area before we cut to Sofa Central and TRIPLE...wait....DOUBLE CEE!

 

COLE

WELCOME to a very special HeldDOWN coming to you from the Mall of America in Bloomington, Minnesota!!!! I'm Michael Cole with Caboose in the rear (heh heh).

 

CABOOSE

One more crack like that and I'm throwing you in the flume.

 

COLE

You may have noticed that our broadcast partner, Jonathan Coachman isn't here. Apparently Coach decided earlier to hang around Victoria's Secret to offer his "expertise" and...well...let's just say the multiple macings he got won't clear up for the rest of the night, so he'll be in and out of the booth getting treatment.

 

CABOOSE (sarcastically)

What a trooper.

 

COLE (CONT'D)

Have no fear, there still will be a third man in the booth, so let's go up to Michael Buffer.

 

The crowd dies down as Buffer puts his microphone to his mouth.

 

BUFFER

Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the special guest commentator for tonight................Minnesota's own, HOFF!!!

 

"YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

 

Black hits (without the pyro, unfortunately) and the #1 contender for the OAOAST Heavyweight belt walks through the curtain. He points to his fellow Minnesotans and pounds his fist into his chest.

 

"HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF!!!!!!!"

 

Suddenly, the sound of a needle scratching cuts off Hoff's music and the cheering subsides, giving way to confusion.

 

COLE

What the?

 

You make me wanna la la

in the kitchen on the floor

I'll be your french maid

When I'll meet you at the door

 

The female fans in attendance scream with delight, but everyone else, especially Hoff, stare in disgust as THAT song plays again. Hoff quickly walks the rest of the way to Sofa Central and slips on his headset to try and block out the horror.

 

HOFF

Make sure that director never does another show.

 

COLE

Welcome to commentary, Hoff. We appreciate you joining us on such short notice.

 

CABOOSE

Speak for yourself.

 

HOFF

Aww, can't we just be best buddies for one night? I'll take you to Gameworld later and we can play skee ball all night!

 

CABOOSE

Oh great, two hours of "Wacky Hoff". I'm going to see if Coach needs anything.

 

COLE

But you'll miss a packed show. As we just saw Leon Rodez is STILL searching for partners to join him in the big six-man tag tonight against Drek Stone and the Global Party Exchange. We've got a lot more in store for you, so let's GET IT ON!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

(We head up to Josh Matthews standing mid-ring, with microphone in hand.)

 

JOSH

Folks...last week, we saw an unfortunate incident, where a large brawl broke out between many of our female competitors, most of them after the $7,500 bounty placed on the head of OAOAST World Women's Champion Jenny Adams. During the incident, Brodie Lewis lifted OAOAST Wrestling School graduate The Cannon Kidd up for her finishing move, the Orange Crush. The masked competitor Confusia ended up misting Brodie in the eyes, with the shock and disarray of that action causing Brodie to lose grip of the Kidd and drop her right on her neck and shoulder. The Kidd looks to be out for three-to-five months with a broken collarbone and a severe concussion. Right now though, I want to bring out someone who's requested interview time...ladies and gentlemen...BRODIE LEWIS!

 

"House of Mirrors" starts up, and Brodie comes to the ring, looking slightly somber. There's a vocal portion of the crowd who are booing Brodie loudly, with the rest being mostly silent. Brodie climbs into the ring.

 

JOSH

So...you requested this time. What's on your mind?

 

BRODIE

Well, it's been quite the week for me. I mean, I dropped someone on their head and hospitalized them pretty seriously. Lots of fans, just like those people over there (points at booing audience members) have been stopping me at the pub I go to, and on the street and telling me one of two things: either "I'm really sorry...you must feel horrible right now" or "You (bleep)in' bitch! I hope you die!" I've gotten a lot more of the latter than the former.

 

JOSH

On behalf of those people, I apol...

 

BRODIE

Shut your mouth. As some people know, I like to drink often. While I was drinking and being harrassed, I got some time to think. I thought about the moment where the Kidd fell again...and again...and again! I thought about the outrage and the shock...I thought about all the pain she must be going through...and I came to a conclusion: if I can hurt someone this bad on accident...THINK about what I can do when I set my mind to it!

 

JOSH

Wait just one...

 

BRODIE

What...you gonna stop me?

 

JOSH

No..no...please continue.

 

BRODIE

(sarcastically) Why, thanks for being so polite! So anyway, as of this moment, I'm throwing my name into the hat to take out that pip-squeak model citizen Jenny Adams and get me some money. I KNOW I can break her bony ass. And I'm gonna make one last guarentee: before the night ends, I'm gonna make sure another hospital bed's filled with a broken body.

 

(Brodie calmly steps away from Josh...then steps back and throws up a fist, scaring Josh enough that he falls down. She laughs at him and leaves the ring, walking down the ramp and out of the arena.)

 

COLE

I do NOT like the sound of that! What the hell is she thinking of doing?!?

 

HOFF

I'll tell you something...if I'm Jenny Adams, I'd be more concentrated on packing my bags and flying home and less about the tag match she's scheduled in later tonight!

 

CUT to a Starbucks stand (one of probably 15 in the place) where we find the Global Party Exchange getting themselves some coffee and talking about their match later tonight.

 

STATIC (after taking a sip)

So who do you think Rodez got to back him up?

 

Before Jax can answer, a familiar voice cuts him off.

 

DREK

Does it even matter?

 

The camera pans over to reveal Drek Stone stirring a cup of his own java.

 

JAX

Well, I know that we’ll be able to handle anyone Rodez tries to throw at us, but it would be nice to kinda get an idea, y’know?

 

DREK

Getting a little worried, are you?

 

JAX

N-n-n-no, but....

 

DREK

Rodez turned me down at Battlebowl. I don’t give a shit WHO he dug out of the trash bin to tag with him, he is going to learn and learn WELL that NOBODY turns down the Reckless One.

 

The trio continue to chatter, but fall silent as Peter Knight walks over to the counter, the X-Title slung over his shoulder, and orders a cup of French Roast (but he’s still a MANLY MAN, don’t you doubt that for a second!). PK adds his cream and sugar and notices the stares he’s getting.

 

KNIGHT

Am I interrupting anything?

 

STATIC

How about you just get out of here?

 

The GPX step towards Knight, but Drek holds up his hand to stop them.

 

DREK

Well, if it isn’t our brand new X-Division Champion. Ready to follow in the grand footsteps of other X-Title holders like.....uh.....that druggie and......uh, the Amazing Randy...Remington.....whatever that guy’s name was. How much did they have to pay to get that out of hock, anyway?

 

KNIGHT (chuckling)

Yeah, I caught that little crack you made about this (motions to the belt) last week. Funny; Jimmy Kimmel would love you. You know, my goal while I have this title is to defend it against anyone that wants to step up to the plate, prove I have the stuff to be worthy of the Heavyweight title.

 

DREK

Ha, lot of good that did for Rodez. Let’s face it Knight, that thing is meaningless. Me? I go for the top or bust. I didn’t need any second-tier title to show what a great champion I could be. I went into the Elimination Chamber with a great opportunity and I TOOK IT! That’s a lesson Leon Rodez failed to learn. Don’t make the same mistake, Knight. Let’s go guys.

 

Drek and the GPX start to walk away, but PK speaks again.

 

KNIGHT

Opportunity, eh? Drek, your babbling actually gave me an idea. I want to be looked at as championship material so – man, this is a no-brainer – what better way to do that than step into the ring with a former champion and beat his smug ass around all four corners of the biggest shopping mall in the US of A?

 

“YEAHHHHHHHH!!”

 

HOFF

One of the best ideas I’ve heard in a LONG time!

 

Drek chuckles.

 

DREK

Looked at the booking sheet tonight? I’m a little busy with more important matters.

 

KNIGHT

Oh yeah, that six man with Leon Rodez. (He takes a sip) Wouldn’t you know that he was talking to me about that earlier today? About how he needs a couple of guys that think Drek Stone is....and I’m paraphrasing here....”a cocky, self-absorbed Brooklyn greaseball.” I told him (he finishes off his coffee in one big pull).....aah. (He looks at his watch) Whoops, I gotta get going.

 

Knight crumples his cup and tosses it in a nearby trash can.

 

KNIGHT

Hey, nice talking to you guys. Maybe I’ll see you again later tonight.

 

PK slaps Drek on the shoulder before walking off, the camera staying on Drek and the GPX as they watch PK leave and then look at each other.

 

COLE

Has Leon found half of his team? We'll be back.

 

(FADE TO COMMERCIAL)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

COLE

Welcome back to HeldDOWN~!, folks. We'd like to welcome Coach back to the booth. 'Boose, because he knows Coach loves the women, decided to go do a little shopping.

 

COACH

That's the last time I wear my "Lingerie Inspector" button.

 

COLE

Before we go into the big tag match between "Floggin'" Molly Matthews & Jenny Adams and Constance and Valerie, and since it hasn't happened yet, let's be reminded that Brodie Lewis came out here earlier tonight and actually had the gull to threaten that she'll hospitalize someone like she did to the Cannon Kidd last week, sometime during this program. She's also thrown her name into the hunt for the $7,500 bounty on Jenny Adams' head. Put two and two together...

 

COACH

I sure as hell hope that Brodie's threat is just that: a threat. But anyway, we have a tag match that was signed after last week, when Constance and Valerie started the chain of run-ins during a non-title match between Molly Matthews and Jenny Adams. Molly and Jenny both called up the OAOAST offices seperately on Monday morning and demanded this match tonight, so it shall happen. Your thoughts, Hoff?

 

HOFF

Well...Jenny's a tough little stick of dynamite and Molly's one of the single weirdest people I've ever met, which helps with mind games and such. But I go way back with Valerie and Constance. They're mean as hell, and plus I go way back with them...they're from St. Paul and have been working around this area their entire careers up until now. Plus, they're an actual team, not a pairing of two singles competitors. They'll know how to communicate, whereas Molly and Jenny probably won't.

 

COLE

Thanks for the insight, Hoff. Let's go to the ring for the match!

 

("Seether" starts up, and Constance & Valerie head to the ring. The crowd gives them a mixed reaction, as they're from nearby St. Paul. They both play up the cheers for a second, then yell at the crowd to shut up before storming into the ring, right past the cameraman whose camera they normally use to check their hair.)

 

BUFFER

The following tag team bout is scheduled for one fall, with a thirty minute time limit. Introducing first, hailing from St. Paul, Minnesota and weighing in at a combined 295 pounds...Valerie and Constance...the MINNESOTA ANGELS!

 

HOFF

Quite the clever little team name, eh?

 

COLE

We should be hearing from Bud Selig's lawyers in about ten hours.

 

"Fly" starts up, and out run Jenny Adams & Molly Matthews. They rush right into the ring, as the Angels leap to the floor. Adams and Matthews jump to the middle rope on opposite sides of the ring and pose, to a mixed reaction, mostly positive.

 

BUFFER

Their opponents...weighing in tonight at 258 pounds combined, the team of "Floggin'" Molly Matthews and the current OAOAST World Women's Champion, JENNY ADAMS!

 

COACH

So we have high energy vs. high mental capacity here...

 

HOFF

Hey, Molly is a lot smarter than she looks.

 

COACH

A cockroach is smarter than Molly looks.

 

*BELL RINGS*

 

Both teams are discussing strategy in their corners, as Molly starts off with Constance. Both competitors break from their partners, then circle around mid-ring, looking for good positioning when they lock horns. They go into a collar and elbow lock-up, as Constance quickly manuevers and applies a cravate. Constance tries to crank it in, but Molly applies a side waistlock and brings Constance over and down, quickly applying an armbar to keep control. Molly slowly pulls Constance up with the armbar, and sends her right back down with a single-leg takedown before grabbing the left ankle and rolling her backwards, back up to her feet, and right into a British courting hold (arm cranked under attacker's armpit)!

 

COLE

Looks like Molly's toying with Constance and taking advantage of her advanced technique here so far.

 

Constance suffers from the pain for a moment, before reaching down and getting in a single-leg takedown to get out of the hold. Constance grabs Molly's foot and rolls her backwards and to her feet, grabbing a courting hold when she arises. Molly suffers in the hold for a second before leaping onto Constance's shoulders into a side headscissors and bringing her down with a side headscissors takedown, keeping the hold applied on the mat. Constance kicks the mat frantically in shock before rolling to a front kneeling position. She then get to a bent standing position while in the headscissors and rolls through to a jackknife cradle pin...

 

1...

 

2...

 

Molly kicks out, but Constance immediately applies the side headscissors. Molly tries kipping out, but can't get her head loose. She slowly rolls to a front kneeling position, then does a headstand as the headscissors are still applied. But, they're not for long, as Molly pops off the mat and out of the hold, back onto her feet. Molly immediately leaps on Constance for a lateral press...

 

1...

 

2...

 

Kickout!

 

HOFF

Looks like we have ourselves a monkey-see monkey-do game going on here.

 

Both competitors get to their feet quickly, as Constance charges at Molly but gets brought down in a headlock takeover. Molly keeps ahold of the headlock on the mat, cranking away at it. Constance eventually grabs a side waistlock and rolls Molly so that her shoulders are on the mat...

 

1...

 

 

2...

 

 

Kickout!

 

Molly lets go of the headlock, as both come back to their feet. Molly charges at Constance, as Constance tries for the same headlock takeover. But Molly saw it coming, as she stopped herself and let Constance flop down to her stomach before bringing her over with an Oklahoma Roll...

 

1...

 

 

2...

 

 

Kickout!

 

COLE

Say what you will about Molly, but there's no one here that can out-clever the Floggin' One.

 

Both competitors come to their feet, as Constance scores with a go-behind into a waistlock takedown, driving Molly down face and chest-first into the mat. Constance holds her down to keep Molly at bay, then grabs a quick half-nelson and turns Molly over into a lateral press...

 

1...

 

2...

 

Kickout!

 

Both competitors come back to their feet and go into a quick collar-and-elbow tie-up. Molly gets the advantage and brings Constance down with a deep armdrag. Molly doesn't keep ahold of the arm, so Constance is able to roll back up to her feet and charge at Molly. But, Molly leapfrogs Constance, causing her to run face-first into the top turnbuckle! Constance then stumbles through the ropes and onto the floor, as Valerie drops down to the floor to pull Constance up and have a "conference" with her on the floor. The referee starts to count, but Valerie yells at him to stop.

 

COLE

Apparantly, we have the most intimidatable referee in the nation working for us here tonight...

 

Valerie and Constance chat for a few seconds on the floor, then yell "TIME IN!", as Constance slides into the ring and tags out to Valerie as soon as she climbs to the apron. Valerie immediately points at Jenny in the corner and yells "I want the champ!" Molly looks out at the crowd and points at her partner, as the crowd cheers to encourage a tag. So, Molly does just that and tags in Jenny Adams.

 

HOFF

When you're in that ring, it's damn hard not to listen to the fans.

 

Adams comes into the ring and goes right into a collar-and-elbow lock-up with Valerie. Valerie gets the advantage and applies a headlock. She only gets to crank on it for a few seconds, as Jenny grabs her, reels her back to the ropes behind them, and sends her off to the ropes on the other end. Valerie comes off the ropes, grabs Jenny's hand and reverses the momentum, sending Adams off to the other end with a whip of her own. Valerie goes for a hiptoss as Jenny comes off of the ropes, but Adams snaps her legs around and reverses with an awesome hurricanrana! Both come back to their feet quickly, as Jenny charges at Valerie, who goes for a tilt-a-whirl slam...but Jenny reverses with a nice armdrag! Both roll back to their feet, as Jenny sends Valerie off to the ropes with a bi paso. Adams rolls to her back with her feet in the air and sends Valerie up and right back down with a monkey flip! Jenny kips up as Valerie stumbles to her feet, and sends Valerie to the floor with a nice-looking dropsault!

 

COLE

This is getting pretty fast, pretty quick!

 

Valerie stands up, in a dazed state, on the floor. Jenny then charges forward...and goes for an incredible no-touch moonsault OVER the top rope without touching it! Valerie moves away, and Jenny LANDS ON HER FEET! Valerie points at her head to signal that she's "smart"...then turns around and walks right into a big superkick! Constance comes into the ring right after Jenny slides in, and charges at her. Adams drops down and sweeps Constance off of her feet. Adams stands up and nails an awesome standing frogsault (moonsault with the frog splash leg motions)!

 

HOFF

I think I might steal that move.

 

Constance rolls out of the ring, as Jenny walks up to the ropes and yells at her to come in for some more. Valerie, still weiry from the superkick, slides back into the ring behind Jenny, and attacks her with a double axe handle from behind. Valerie turns Jenny around and brings her down with a snapmare. Right when Adams hits the mat, Valerie nails a leaping kneedrop to the face. Instead of going for the cover, she pulls Jenny up and delivers a stiff knife-edge chop. Valerie follows up with another, as Constance climbs back to the corner. Valerie lays in a hard forearm to Adams' face, then grabs Jenny and drops her with a snap side suplex. She keeps ahold of Jenny by the arm and tags in Constance.

 

COACH

Smart tag team wrestling here...keep one opponent in and down, and cut the ring off from the other partner.

 

Constance grabs the top rope and slingshots herself over it, coming in with an elbow drop onto Jenny. Constance pulls Adams up and sends her off to the ropes with an Irish whip. Jenny ducks a back elbow and goes to the other side to come off of the ropes. But coming back, she gets nailed with a Sky High bomb...

 

1...

 

 

2...

 

 

Kickout!

 

Constance pulls Jenny up to a bent position and delivers a forearm shot to the back of her neck. Constance then cranks Adams' neck as if she's going for a Rude Awakening...then drops her with a reverse X-Factor-like manuever. Constance lays back-first on Jenny and goes for the cover without a leg hook....

 

1...

 

 

2...

 

 

Kickout!

 

COLE

Hook the leg, maaan!

 

COACH

I would say you're ripping someone off, but I don't believe I watch enough wrestling to know that you actually are.

 

Constance pulls Jenny up with a front facelock and forces her back into the Angels' corner. Constance tags out to Valerie, who delivers a kick to the stomach. Valerie then hooks Jenny's head and arm and hits a vertical suplex. Valerie quickly gets up, spits at Molly to infuriate her, and scrapes the sole of her boot across Jenny's eyes as the referee's distracted by Molly causing a scene in her corner. Valerie then drops an elbow drop and goes to the pin...

 

1...

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

Kickout!

 

Valerie pulls Adams up and lifts her in the air. She brings Jenny back to the Angels' corner and hangs her in a reverse tree of woe (facing the turnbuckles). Valerie tags out to Constance, who comes into the ring and dropkicks Jenny in the back, causing her to fall out of the corner. Constance pulls Jenny up and lifts her with a gutwrench before dropping her face-first onto the mat. Constance gets up and looks out at the crowd, who are still somewhat cheering the hometown girls. She grins for a second...then brushes the audience off in disgust. Constance then climbs to the second rope, leaps off, and nails a kneedrop to Jenny's head.

 

COLE

It seems as if the Minnesota Angels can't decide whether to spend their time working over the neck, head, or back of Adams...

 

HOFF

If you think about it, maybe they're trying to round-aboutly go after the spine...I mean, I'd totally agree with you if they were going after limbs, but the head, neck, and back all have some sort of connection to the spine...

 

COACH

...and if your spine's hurt, you're screwed.

 

Constance pulls Jenny up and puts her in the usual positioning for a piledriver or powerbomb...but instead chooses to repeatedly twist herself around, twisting and stretching Jenny's neck with her thighs and legs. Constance then pulls Jenny up and sends her off with an Irish whip. Jenny tries to leapfrog Constance but gets caught...but the momentum of the leap causes Constance to stumble back towards Molly as she holds Jenny...Molly and Jenny reach out for a tag...but Constance runs forward and drives Jenny down with a big front spinebuster!

 

HOFF

Hey, I demand royalties for use of that move...

 

COLE

A) We didn't call it an Angry Man Slam and B) this isn't last year.

 

Constance rolls forward, keeps ahold of the leg, and tags Valerie back in. Valerie gives Jenny a stomp to the back as she reaches out to Molly. The referee goes to make sure Constance gets out of the ring, as Valerie pulls a shoe-string out of her tights and starts to choke Jenny! The referee turns around...and Valerie quickly puts her forearm over the string, making it look like a chinlock. Jenny's practically turning blue, as a few boos weigh in. Constance yells something about a rule infraction, so the referee turns his attention to Constance. Valerie takes this time to go back to choking Jenny with the shoe-string! Some front-row by-standers yell at the referee to turn around, but he ignores them. After about ten seconds of this, the referee finally turns around and catches Valerie in the act!

 

COLE

Cheaters never win!

 

Valerie stuff the string in the back of her trunks, swearing that it didn't exist. The referee gives her an angry warning, as Jenny's coughing for air and reaching out in any direction for some sort of tag. Valerie pulls Jenny up by the hair and takes her time while having a handful of her locks to yell at the crowd, who are still only split 50/50. Valerie then locks Jenny's arms up for some sort of butterfly manuever. But before she can pull it off, Jenny goes crazy with headbutts to the stomach! Those allow Jenny to pull herself out of the butterfly...but Valerie quickly gets back on offense with a stiff European uppercut!

 

HOFF

One of the most frustrating things as a wrestler to happen during a match is definately being stuck on defense, getting a small spurt of a comeback, and getting shut right back down.

 

Valerie re-hooks the arms in a butterfly position, and hits a double-underhook swinging neckbreaker. She goes for the cover...

 

1...

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

KICKOUT!

 

Valerie cannot believe it! She brushes the hair out of her face to show the angry look on her face, then grabs Jenny by the arm and drags her back near the Angels' corner, where Valerie tags out to Constance. Constance goes up to the top rope, takes two steps sideways so that she's standing directly on the top rope instead of the turnbuckle, and launches off, hitting a top rope flying headbutt! Constance goes for another cover...

 

1...

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

KICKOUT!

 

Constance just stares at Adams' prone body for a few seconds with a confused, angry look on her face. She pulls Jenny back up to her feet and sends her into the Angels' corner yet again with an Irish whip. Constance charges at her and nails a jumping forearm smash to the face! Constance takes a couple of steps back as Jenny stumbles out of the corner, and then hits a snap powerslam, going right into a lateral press with both legs hooked!

 

 

1...

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

KICKOUT!

 

COLE

Jenny Adams has unmeasurable heart and determination!

 

Constance punches the mat in frustration, then pulls Jenny back up. She holds Jenny in a front facelock, walks to mid-ring, and spits a loogie that lands right on Molly's face! Molly's pissed and she tries to get into the ring. The referee has to go and restrain an infuriated Molly, as Valerie sneaks into the ring, and both Angels lift Jenny up for a double Samoan lift position. They then drop her with a big double Cruel Intentions (DVD position into a spinebuster)! Constance goes back to the corner and claps her hands loudly to make the noise of a fake tag to confuse the referee...who turns around as she claps! He questions the tactics, and Constance claims that there was a tag and that she was just "killing a fly" when he turned around.

 

COLE

Yeah, and my name is Buddy Landell!

 

COACH

What up, Budro?

 

The ref turns to pay attention back to the match, as Valerie goes for the cover...

 

1...

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

KICKOUT!

 

COLE

Wow!

 

Valerie can't believe it! She slowly pulls Adams up to her feet, then goes for a right-handed punch to the face...but Jenny ducks and side-steps! Valerie turns around and tries again...same result! Valerie turns around again...and walks right into a punch from Adams! Jenny goes one after another after another with the punches, as cheers reign in from the upper levels of the building! Adams grabs Valerie's arm and sends her off with an Irish whip! Jenny ducks her head center-ring, looking for the back body drop, but Valerie side-steps, grabs Jenny's hair, and brings Adams down back-first across her bent knee! Valerie rolls Jenny off of her, then throws her hands up in mock victory as more boos than have been heard for the Angels in this match previously come in.

 

HOFF

Looks like the hometown crowd's starting to turn on their own.

 

Valerie pulls Jenny up to her feet, grabs her in gut-wrench position, then lifts her up into a Canadian Backbreaker (same position as an Awesome Bomb, only dangling the opponent so she's bent over the shoulder). Valerie cranks on the hold, as Jenny screams in pain and reaches out for anything hopeful. The referee starts to check for a submission, as "JEN-NY!" chants start up. The crowd gets louder, as Jenny slowly starts to slip. Valerie shakes her head and tries her hardest to get Jenny back up in the hold fully. But, Jenny keeps slipping...until she finally escapes, immediately hooks Valerie's arms, and brings her back into a backslide..

 

1...

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

KICKOUT!

 

The crowd collectively groans as Valerie rolls out and knees a kneeling Jenny right in the jaw. Valerie pulls Jenny up and tosses her right back into the Angels' corner. Valerie distracts the referee as Constance chokes Adams with the tag rope. The referee turns around to see this, and gives her a five-count to break...

 

1...

2...

3...

4....

 

Constance stops. Valerie then tags her in, and pulls up Adams, who collapsed to her knees trying to get some air. They lay in a series of forearms to both sides of the head at the same time, before Valerie leaves the ring and goes to the corner. The crowd starts chanting "JEN-NY!" again, as her head hangs over the top rope, looking out at the crowd in a daze. Constance sets Jenny back up and delivers a hard chop to her chest that echos through the building. She then hooks Jenny's arm...and hurls her across the ring with a Beale Toss (hiptoss out of corner)! But, Jenny lands on her feet! Constance looks in shock, then goes to stop her as Jenny takes a step forward and leaps...

 

COLE

Will she...?

 

...and "Floggin'" Molly gets the tag! Molly comes in like a house of fire, knocking Constance down with a back elbow to the jaw, then lifting her legs up and briding over her with a bridging prawn hold...

 

1...

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

KICKOUT!

 

Valerie comes in and throws a running punch at Molly. But, Molly grabs Valerie's arm, spins her around, and drops her with a reverse DDT! Molly sees Constance up, so she grabs a headlock, then runs to the ropes. Molly leaps to the second rope (ala the Stratusfaction), but then twists herself around and brings Valerie over with a sunset flip...

 

1..

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

KICKOUT!

 

Valerie gets up in a daze, as Molly charges at her and sends her face-first into the middle turnbuckle off of a flying headscissors. Constance charges at Molly, but Molly drops down to her back and grabs Constance's legs as she walks over her (ala Lance Storm), causing her to fall on her face as Molly rolls backwards, hooks her legs under Constance's armpits, and rolls into a sunset cradle...

 

1...

 

 

 

 

2....

 

 

 

 

 

KICKOUT!

 

Both Angels are up to their feet, as Molly starts throwing punches every which-way to keep them at bay. All of a sudden, out of the corner of the building nearest Jenny Adams, Brodie Lewis sneaks into the ringside area through the crowd! She pulls Adams off of the apron...and pulls her underneath the ring for some reason.

 

COLE

Um...I'm not understanding this at all.

 

Molly turns around and sees that her partner's gone. She turns her back on Valerie and Constance, as they regain their barrings...and attack Molly from behind. V&C both lift and drop Molly with a double side suplex. Valerie then goes up top, as Constance lifts Molly in wheelbarrow position and stands with her back to Valerie...and they hit the Broken Halo (wheelbarrow drop/double stomp to head double team)! Constance goes for the pin...

 

1...

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

THREE!

 

BUFFER

Your winners of the match...Valerie & Constance, the Minnesota ANGELLLLLLS!

 

Before the words can even get out of Michael Buffer's mouth, Brodie and Jenny come out from under the ring, both throwing fists at one another. A sea of referees and officials come running out from the back to seperate the two! There's about fifteen different people out there just to seperate these two, as the Angels quickly flee the scene. It takes eight men just to carry Brodie away from Adams. They get Brodie restrained on the ramp, and let go to escort her back to the locker room. Brodie walks on her own power for a few steps....

 

COLE

Looks like things have just maybe calmed down here...

 

...then Brodie reaches into her pants pocket, pulls out a railroad spike, punches all of the officials in the face, then grabs one and CARVES INTO HIS EYE WITH THE SPIKE!

 

COACH

MY LORD!

 

Blood's literally spurting from the poor man's head, as she continues to dig deeper and deeper into his flesh! Finally, the locker room empties to clear the scene, as Brodie tries fighting her way through them! She knocks down a few of the male enhancement talent before being lifted up by a sea of unidentifiable wrestlers and security!

 

HOFF

This is some wild stuff! Um...

 

COLE

"Um..." is right! Let's go to a break!

 

(Cut to break)

 

(Come back from break, where Jenny Adams is in mid-ring, with a still-unconcious "Floggin'" Molly Matthews laid out, and a gurney wheeling out the bloodied official up near the entrance.)

 

JENNY

This is bull(bleep)! Total damn bull(bleep)! You wanted me, Brodie? You wanted to be a badass, huh? You got my attention now! You injure a young girl...seventeen years old! Seventeen years old, (bleep)damn it! With what you did last week, you could have possibly ruined her future! Ruined her life! Then this week, you announce to the whole world that you're out to hurt me! Out to get some money by takin' me out! You came to get me, I fought back! But in the process, you made me leave my friend for dead and fail to get the revenge she wanted to get on those other two! After runnin' from me, you made sure to get back your badass cred by sendin' someone who isn't even involved in this to the hospital, and it looks like you took his damn eyesight from him! Does that make you feel like a badass, huh Brodie? Sure, you had a hard life...I'm sure everyone here can at least sympathize with you there. But the fact remains...you got no damn right to do what it is you're doing! So right here, right now, I'm issuing the challenge! Anytime, anywhere! You and me! One on one! You want a fight? You want to throw down? We're gonna throw down! I don't want any rules holding us back! I don't care if we gotta fight out in the parking lot or the street or my damn house! We're gonna settle this! Either you're gonna leave me for dead or I'm gonna kick your damn face in, because there's no way you're getting the better of me unless you (bleep)in' MURDER me! That's it...I'm done. (throws down microphone, grabs Molly and helps her to backstage area)

 

COLE

Um...wow. The challenge has been issued: Jenny Adams wants a match...

 

HOFF

...no, no, no. She wants a FIGHT with Brodie Lewis. Brodie put one friend of hers in the hospital; made her leave another for dead in the tag match we just saw. Jenny wants revenge, and Brodie wants the bounty!

 

COACH

Whoa...I'm being told that there's been an immediate decision by the OAOAST that...yes, due to Brodie Lewis's malicious attack on one of our officials, she's been suspended indefinately. Um, this isn't over yet. What's next? Aaaah, it BURNS!! I gotta go get some more drops guys. I'll be back.

 

I'm glad you asked, Coach:

 

The camera cuts to the back where Ayane Mitsui is putting her gloves on. The crowd gives her a nice pop. She gets up, and starts walking to the entrance, with a determined look on her face.

 

COLE

And there is Ayane Mitsui, who in just a few minutes will be going head-to-head against the First Lady of The Lightning Crew, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez!

 

The camera then cuts to a door with The Lightning Crew logo on it. The door opens, and Lindsay steps out; a cocky smirk on her face. She begins her walk to the ring.

 

HOFF

And there is Lindsay. You can bet she is ready for this Hardcore Match.

 

CABOOSE

Definitely. It’s time for Lindsay to finally show Ayane just who the superior athlete is!

 

COLE

Well, we’ll see just who is the better fighter. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez takes on Ayane Mitsui in a Hardcore Match coming up later tonight on HeldDOWN~!

 

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

 

The scene opens on the CSI "locker room," which appears to be a converted Mall of America bathroom. Brock Ausstin paces the floor. To the side, Jay Richards and Jumbo sit with PS2 controllers in hand, mashing the buttons furiously. Conspicuous by his absence is the leader, Chris Stevens.

 

The fans let out a hearty "booooooo" as the image appears on the AngleTron.

 

JAY

Dude, how are you DOING that?!

 

Jumbo smiles at his compatriot.

 

JUMBO

I'm not telling you @#$%, kid. You gotta figure it out on your own. That's what I did.

 

JAY

Bull. There's gotta be a strategy guide around here somewhere...

 

Jay looks under he and Jumbo's folding chairs. Jay's is surrounded by energy bar wrappers and Gatorade bottles; Jumbo's chair actually has a plate of ribs underneath it. The search doesn't appear to go to well, as Jay sits upright with a frown.

 

JAY

This sucks.

 

Brock's shoulders start heaving as he paces back and forth, prompting an odd look from Jay.

 

JAY

Dude, would you stop pacing? You're throwing off my game here.

 

Brock looks up sharply at Jay.

 

BROCK

Where is Chris? He told me he had a surprise for me tonight...

 

JAY

DUDE! Maybe it's a motorcycle! That'd rock.

 

JUMBO

Under the circumstances, I think it might have more to do with Brock's career.

 

Brock nods.

 

BROCK

I knew I could count on him. I just had to light a fire under his ass.

 

Brock laughs, but Jumbo raises his eyebrows.

 

JUMBO

Hey, I've known Chris for a long time, and no one has ever had to "light a fire" under his anything.

 

BROCK

Whatever, man. All I know is that PK is the X-Division Champion, and I'm sure Stevens put two and two together.

 

JAY

Hey, badass. I hope it works out for you, man.

 

Brock smiles and continues pacing, when the door swings open, revealing a smiling Chris Stevens. Stevens points at Brock and grins.

 

STEVENS

How's my guy?!

 

Brock wrings his hands with a vicious smile.

 

BROCK

Oh, I'm ready.

 

STEVENS

Good, because you are not gonna BELIEVE the match I just got set.

 

All the CSI members turn their eyes to Stevens.

 

STEVENS

Tonight...in this VERY RING....it's going to be BROCK AUSSTIN...

 

BROCK

Yeah!

 

STEVENS

...and CHRIS STEVENS against the SK8R BOIS for the WORLD TAG TEAM TITLES!!

 

COLE (v.o,)

WHOA!

 

Brock looks at Stevens, and his smile fades in an instant.

 

BROCK

What....the...the TAG TITLES?!

 

STEVENS

Yeah! You and me, man! How's that for a "big match?"

 

Stevens puts his hand on Brock's shoulder, but Brock throws it off!

 

STEVENS

Hey, what the--

 

BROCK

You just don't GET IT, do you, Chris?! I want the attention! *I* want it! ME! Not you, ME!! I want my chance to shine!

 

STEVENS

But....but we could be champions...and I thought--

 

BROCK

Forget it. Hey, you know what, Chris? Forget you.

 

Brock storms past Stevens and out the door, letting it slam shut behind him. Stevens stares open-mouthed at the door, while Jay and Jumbo stare at Stevens.

 

STEVENS

That son of a...

 

JAY

Hey, it's cool, man! It's all good. Tonight, how about THIS: The LAMER Bois, against Chris Stevens and Jay Richards. CSI representing to the max. Jumbo can even come with.

 

JUMBO

Oh, *can* I?

 

Jay flashes a smile back at his big buddy, then turns to Chris.

 

STEVENS

....yeah. Yeah, that'll work. In fact, you know what? That's the best idea I've heard all night!

 

JAY

F'real. Northern Pro in the house, and tonight we take home the gold. Let's roll.

 

The three CSI members head out the door, Jay and Chris walking side-by-side (it's a big door). Jumbo follows, shaking his head and smiling.

 

COLE

CSI vs. the Sk8er Bois for the TAG TEAM TITLES! TONIGHT!!

 

~”Axelay Kick My Axe OC Remix” by Midee starts up, and Otaku II walks out. He is unusually serious as he makes his way down, not giving out any high 5s as he walks down to the ring. He gets a mic as he gets into the ring.~

 

Otaku: Mephisto, Asmodai, Belial, Lilith, I am positively sick of dealing with you! Let’s settle this, once and for all. I’ll take any one of you on, and I will pin you or submit you right here in this very ring!

 

~”The Lightbringer” by Interfector starts up, and out comes Lilith in her robe with a microphone in hand.~

 

Lilith: Ask, and ye shall recieve, Otaku!

 

~As Otaku focuses on Lilith, Mephisto comes out of the crowd, slides into the ring, and hits Otaku with a Big Boot from behind! The bell rings, and we are on! Mephitso picks up Otaku by his mask and throws him out of the ring! Mephisto comes out after him, and tries to hit Otaku with a clothesline as he gets up, but Otaku ducks and kicks Mephisto’s right knee! Otaku kicks it again, and Mephisto goes down! He clutches at his knee as Otaku gets back in the ring and waits for Mephisto to get back in. Mephisto slowly gets up and hobbles into the ring.

 

Otaku uses a sweep kick to knock Mephisto down, then tries to go for a leg bar on the bad leg, but Mephisto kicks him away with his good leg. Mephitso struggles to his feet, then falls down, it seems he can’t support his weight with his bad leg. Otaku comes over to see what’s going on, and Mephisto chokes him! Lilith comes down as the referee begisn his count, and Mephisto refuses to let go until the very last second. Mephisto gets up again, slowly, and he is hobbling, but the choke took a lot out of Otaku too. Mephisto kicks Otaku with his bad leg as he holds the ropes.

 

Otaku is driven back into a corner, and Mephisto whips him into the opposite corner, right where Lilith is, incidentily enough. Mephitsto starts talking to the referee while Lilith gets up on the apron. She takes a swing at Otaku, but

Otaku catches it and uses a modified arm drag to bring her in the ring. Then he kicks her in the midsection and hits the Bubblegum Crash on her!

 

Mephisto sees this and stops talking to the ref. Instead, he slugs the poor man! Otaku comes over and he gets a punch in the face as well! Otaku turn his back to his foe as he checks his mouth, making sure he didn’t lose a tooth or something, and Mephisto applies a full nelson. Lilith comes over and throws a fireball, but Otaku ducks and Mephisto gets hit! Lilith looks on in horror at what she’s done, but she doesn’t do it for long, as Otaku throws her out of the ring. Then he goes over to the referee and gtes him to come to.

 

Mephisto is clutching at his face because of the fireball. Otaku walks over to him and picks up that bad right leg. SPINNING TOE HOLD! Mephisto taps to the old school submission hold!

 

BUFFER

Here is your winner....Otaku II!!!

 

Otaku raises his arm as he heads back up the aisle and Hoff, Cole and Caboose take their places back at Sofa Central.

 

CABOOSE

I hate mall food. And I didn't see a single boat in that Old Navy store. So, what's next?

 

COLE (checking his sheet)

Uh.....Otaku II vs. Mephisto. (He sees Mephisto limping to the back) Wait, we missed it? I TOLD you we didn't have time for the Timberland Twister, Hoff.

 

HOFF

Oops, guess that's why I'm not out here more often. But if we're going to take another break, I'll race you to the flume!

 

COLE

Hee hee, you're on!!

 

CABOOSE

Ugh.

 

Commercial break. Buy stuff you cheap bastards!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

1-5509-Mall-of-America.jpg

 

COLE

There's a look at the inside of this massive shopping center where we're bringing HeldDOWN to you live. We've already had some fireworks tonight, but the big ones are yet to come!

 

Backstage, and in normal time, and Leon Rodez is apparantly still in search. In search of two partners for his six man tag team match, later in the night. Strolling down one of the hallways, Rodez is clearly deep in thought as he passes by the many nameless members of staff. Before coming to a quick stop, as to his left stand Los Conquistadors, conversing with each other in high-speed Spanish. Rodez begins to ponder for a moment, before shaking his head.

 

RODEZ

Nah...I'm not THAT desperate...

 

Rodez walks on a couple of steps, only to stop again.

 

RODEZ

...well, yet anyway.

 

 

Continuing on, Rodez turns off into catering. Still The Silky Smooth One is deep in thought, not even noticing Zack Malibu and Some Guy sitting at one of the tables, amongst the otherwise nameless band of lackeys. Rodez grabs himself a Mountain Dew (SHILL~!), sighing and wondering why it's the only drink you can ever get an OAOAST show...but as he turns around, he's suddenly confronted by Zack! The two former enemies face-off, as Some Guy quickly interjects himself. Zack motions to his buddy that it's 'cool' though and Some Guy backs off.

 

MALIBU

Back it up kid. I hear you're having problems with Drek and The GPX.

 

RODEZ

What's it to you?

 

MALIBU

I think you know 'what it is to me', Leon. You know what the Global Party Exchange did to me and you know what Drek Stone's been doing to me. Hell, you were there when he dumped me out of Battlebowl from behind. So, you know I wanna get my hands around his throat and The GPXs. Now, rumour is, you need two partners for a six man tag match tonight. Right?

 

Rodez nods.

 

MALIBU

Congratulations. You've got your partners.

 

A smile slowly forms on Rodez's face as to the side of him, Some Guy bugs out.

 

RODEZ

Well, I am kinda running out of time here. So, I guess you guys'll have to do.

 

MALIBU

I'm glad you're so happy to have us on board.

 

RODEZ

Wha...oh, don't get me wrong, I'm pleased to have you and this guy...

 

SOME GUY

Some Guy.

 

RODEZ

...no, I said this guy. If he's teaming with us, you might wanna get him some cotton buds or something.

 

SOME GUY

No, my name is Some Gu...

 

RODEZ

No, wait, cotton buds actually push the wax back, deeper into your ears. I read it one of those women's magazines they have laying in hospital waiting rooms. Informative reads. If you're ever wondering how to get a great bikini body in 2 months, I'm your man.

 

Zack raises an eyebrow, glancing over at Some Guy, who stands with arms folded.

 

RODEZ

On a serious note, it'll be great to have you out there. To be honest, I did have you in mind...

 

SOME GUY

Yeah, I bet you did.

 

RODEZ

What's that supposed to mean?

 

SOME GUY

Oh, come on kid. We're not stupid. You expect us to believe that it's just coincidence that you challenged Drek and The GPX to a match, without any partners...and you don't have any partners still, when you just 'happen' to stumble upon us here.

 

MALIBU

Man, what are you...

 

SOME GUY

You know, it'd be a real shame if a certain someone had a change of heart all of a sudden, during his match and decided to turn on his partners. Real shame.

 

Shaking his head, Rodez sighs.

 

SOME GUY

What's the matter...did I figure out the plan? Did I guess that this is all a Drek Stone formulated plan? Come on man. We weren't born yesterday. You just 'happen' to 'bump into' Drek and his buddies and 'challenge' them to a match. Then, you 'can't find partners'. But, 'luckily', you 'stumble upon us'. We accept because we're so 'blinded with rage', leaving us four on two for when you 'shockingly' allign yourself with Drek and your buddies.

 

RODEZ

You know, if you're teaming with me, you might want to get the conspiracy theories out of your head.

 

SOME GUY

Well, guess what...Zack might be stupid enough to trust you, but I'm not.

 

Zack turns to Some Guy and looks confused.

 

SOME GUY

Buddy, I'll have your back tonight when this kid turns on you. But I'll be damned if I walk right into the path of a beatdown. I've got something else to take care of tonight anyway. Good luck out there though. You're gonna need it.

 

Some Guy pats Zack on the back, to make sure he knows there's no hard feelings, before walking off. Meanwhile, Rodez wipes his hands across his face in disbelief.

 

RODEZ

So much for that. Look, I'm really not planning anything. I swear.

 

MALIBU

Look, don't worry about him. He's just a little parranoid over this whole uprising that's brewing. He doesn't trust anyone under the age of 25 right now. I'm pretty sure you're on the level though. So, I've got someone in mind that can replace Some Guy. If you still want me on board.

 

RODEZ

Of course. Who is it?

 

MALIBU

Well...you'll find out.

 

Shrugging, Rodez begins to walk off...but gets stopped by Zack after little more than a couple of steps.

 

MALIBU

Just for the record...if you do try anything, then I will be ready for it. And I'll have no problem kicking your ass, just the same as Drek and The GPX's.

 

RODEZ

*nods* Understood.

 

Rodez finally gets to walk off, as Zack smirks slightly.

 

COLE

Well, looks like Leon's got ONE partner for tonight....but who is Zack talking about?

 

HOFF

And what's eating Some Guy?

 

“Axelay Kick My Axe OC Remix” by Midee starts playing. The crowd stands up and cheers as sky blue lights around the arena turn on and off with the beat of the drums. The entrance doors slide open, and Ayane Mitsui comes out to a nice pop from the crowd. Ayane waves at the crowd that has gathered at the Mall Of America as the lead guitar kicks in. Mitsui walks down the ramp with a smile on her face.

 

*DING DING DING*

 

MICHAEL BUFFER

Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is a Hardcore Match, scheduled for one fall with a sixty-minute time limit. Introducing first, coming to the ring at this time. Originally from Tokyo, Japan, but now residing in Boston, Massachusetts. Weighing in at 110 lbs. She is—

 

POW!

 

Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez attacks Ayane Mitsui from behind! Lindsay kicks Ayane in the stomach several times while the crowd boos.

 

COLE

What a cheapshot!

 

CABOOSE

This is a Hardcore Match. Anything goes.

 

COLE

Oh yeah.

 

Lindsay chokes Ayane outside the ring. The crowd immediately starts chanting “P.R. SUCKS!” Lindsay picks up Ayane, and drops her on the edge of the barricade. Lindsay kicks her several times.

 

COLE

Lindsay is just nailing into Ayane!

 

CABOOSE

That a girl, Lindsay! Show this crowd that you’re not only hot, but you’re a fighter too!

 

Lindsay picks up Ayane, and punches her in the face. She scoops Ayane up, and gives her a bodyslam. Lindsay picks up Ayane again, and whips her into the steps. Mitsui hits the steps HARD, and crumbles onto the floor. Lindsay heads into the ring and poses to a mixed reaction.

 

COLE

Lindsay has the upper hand, and the bell hasn’t even rung yet.

 

HOFF

Lindsay shouldn’t pose. If she wants to win, she has to keep attacking Ayane.

 

Lindsay gets out of the ring, and goes back to attacking Ayane. Lindsay pokes Ayane in the eye, and then throws her over the barricade. Lindsay goes to pick up Ayane, but Ayane pops up with a punch to Lindsay’s jaw! She attacks Lindsay with a flurry of punches, and then gets on top of the barricade. When Lindsay turns around, Ayane jumps off the barricade with a flying clothesline that connects!

 

HOFF

And Ayane is back in this match!

 

COLE

It looks like Ayane is at 100%.

 

Ayane and Lindsay both lie on the floor for a few seconds. Ayane gets up first, and picks up Lindsay. However, Lindsay elbows Mitsui in the stomach. Gonzalez clubs Mitsui in the back of her neck. However, Ayane fights back, and the two engage in a slugfest. Lindsay spears Ayane into the ring apron. She follows with shoulder thrusts. Lindsay throws Ayane into the ring, which means that referee Charles Robinson can finally call for the bell.

 

*DING DING DING*

 

HARDCORE MATCH

MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ VS. AYANE MITSUI

Lindsay drops an elbow onto Ayane’s chest. She covers Ayane.

 

1…

 

 

2…

 

KICK OUT!

 

COLE

Close, but no cigar.

 

CABOOSE

Come on Lindsay! Win this for Tha Puerto Rican! Win this for The Lightning Crew!

 

Lindsay waits for Mitsui to get up. When Ayane gets to a vertical base, Lindsay attacks. She Irish whips Ayane into the ropes, and then follows with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Lindsay picks up Ayane and throws her over the top rope onto the floor. Ayane hits the ground with a loud thud that causes the crowd to groan.

 

HOFF

Well, Lindsay is certainly taking advantage of the fact that this is a Hardcore Match.

 

COLE

Indeed. Anything goes in a Hardcore Match. Falls count anywhere. You can use weapons. You can do whatever you please.

 

Lindsay kicks Mitsui while she’s down, and then picks her up. She does some knife edged chops onto Ayane’s chest, making the crowd go “WOOOOOOOOO!” Gonzalez then grabs Ayane and whips her into another set of steps. Gonzalez picks up Ayane by her red hair, and then smashes her head against a ringpost. Lindsay follows that with several shoulder thrusts. Lindsay goes for a spear, but Ayane moves out of the way, and Lindsay’s head hits the ringpost!

 

HOFF

Ooh! That’s gotta hurt!

 

COLE

I think that knocked Lindsay into next week!

 

Lindsay holds her head on the floor. Ayane takes this opportunity to search under the ring for a weapon. She finds one in a trashcan lid. Mitsui waits for Lindsay to get up. Once Lindsay is at a vertical base, Ayane smashes the trashcan lid over Lindsay’s head!

 

CABOOSE

Poor Lindsay! That could have damaged her beautiful face!

 

Ayane checks underneath the ring for some more weapons. She throws a trashcan into the ring, followed by a stop sign, then a kendo stick, and a broomstick. Ayane grabs two trashcan lids from underneath the ring, and waits for Lindsay to get up again. When Lindsay gets up, Ayane sandwiches her head between the two trashcan lids to a pop from the crowd!

 

CABOOSE

Ayane is such a sadist!

 

HOFF

Yeah right.

 

Mitsui throws Gonzalez into the ring. Ayane grabs a trashcan, while Lindsay searches for a weapon. Just as Ayane is about to hit Lindsay with the trashcan, Lindsay hits Ayane in the stomach with the stop sign. Lindsay gets up, and hits Ayane in the back with the stop sign. She does it again, and again, and then hits a dropkick on her. Lindsay picks Ayane up, and takes her to a turnbuckle. Lindsay sits on the top rope, and applies a ¾ facelock on Ayane. She gets off the top rope, and hits a tornado DDT on Mitsui!

 

COLE

Oh my! A tornado DDT!

 

CABOOSE

All right. Keep going, Lindsay. Do not stop your attack!

 

Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez grabs a trashcan, and places it between the second and third ropes. Lindsay kicks Ayane again, and then grabs her, pulling her towards the turnbuckle where the trashcan is.

 

COLE

What’s Lindsay going to do now?

 

Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez catapults Ayane Mitsui into the turnbuckle where the trashcan is located. Ayane’s stomach hits the top of the trashcan. Afterwards, Ayane crumbles to the mat. Lindsay grabs a trashcan lid, and smashes it over Ayane’s head while she’s down. Lindsay then picks up Ayane, and gives her a bodyslam. Gonzalez heads to the top rope. 450 Splash onto Ayane! 1…2…Ayane puts her right shoulder up!

 

CABOOSE

Damnit!

 

COLE

Both ladies are giving it all they’ve got in order to win this match!

 

Lindsay argues with Charles Robinson, and then curses at him in Spanish. Lindsay picks up Ayane, and gives her a snap suplex. Lindsay picks Ayane up, and whips her into the ropes. Mitsui goes for a clothesline, but Lindsay ducks, and brings Ayane down with an Edge-O-Matic. Cover. 1…2…KICK OUT! Lindsay kicks Ayane again, and then heads to the top rope. While this is going on, Ayane quickly gets up, and grabs a trashcan lid. She runs to where Lindsay is, and clocks her over the head with the trashcan lid! She does it a second time, and Lindsay falls to the mat. Ayane covers Lindsay. 1…2…Shoulder up! Ayane grabs Lindsay, and attacks her with a flurry of punches again. The crowd comes alive, cheering Ayane on. Ayane hits Lindsay with a knife edged chop.

 

“WOOOOOOOO!”

 

*CHOP!*

 

“WOOOOOOOO!”

 

*CHOP!*

 

“WOOOOOOOO!”

 

*CHOP!*

 

“WOOOOOOOO!”

 

Ayane whips Lindsay into the ropes. Lindsay reverses, but Ayane comes back with a Lou Thesz Press! She punches Lindsay repeatedly in the forehead, and then gets up to play to the crowd. The crowd responds with loud cheers.

 

HOFF

This crowd loves Ayane!

 

CABOOSE

Well, this IS Minnesota!

 

HOFF

And what’s that supposed to mean?!

 

CABOOSE

Uh…nothing. Nothing.

 

Ayane Mitsui kicks Lindsay while she’s down, and then whips her into the ropes. Overhead belly-to-belly suplex! Ayane picks Lindsay up. Lindsay goes for a clothesline, but Ayane ducks, and grabs Lindsay from behind, giving her a back suplex on top of a garbage can, crushing it. Ayane covers Lindsay.

 

1…

 

 

 

2…

 

 

 

 

 

3—KICK OUT!

 

CABOOSE

Whew.

 

Ayane slaps the mat in frustration, but then picks up Lindsay and gives her a swinging neckbreaker. While this is going on, the crowd turns their attention to the entrance, where Cuban Wall, Mr. Boricua, and Vitamin X are standing. The crowd starts booing loudly.

 

COLE

Oh no. The Lightning Crew has arrived.

 

HOFF

You knew they were coming sooner or later. The Lightning Crew is going to make sure that PRL’s woman wins this match.

 

CABOOSE

All right. The Lightning Crew is here to save the day.

 

Ayane notices Wall, Boricua, and X. She scowls at them, not noticing that Lindsay is getting up. Lindsay grabs Ayane’s black vale tudo shorts, and rolls her up, pulling the shorts.

 

1…

 

 

 

2…

 

 

 

KICKOUT!

 

Ayane and Lindsay both get up. Lindsay goes for a clothesline, but Ayane ducks, and hits Lindsay with a clothesline of her own. Lindsay quickly gets up, so Ayane clotheslines her again. Ayane grabs Lindsay and whips her into the ropes, but Lindsay reverses, and hits Ayane with a Kawada Kick.

 

HOFF

Ouch! That must have knocked Ayane unconscious!

 

Lindsay hits Ayane with a corkscrew legdrop. She then heads to the top rope. She yells at Ayane to get up. When Ayane gets up, Lindsay leaps off the top with a flying crossbody. It connects! 1…2…KICK OUT! Lindsay drops an elbow onto the back of Ayane’s neck. Lindsay gets back up, and calls for Cuban Wall, Vitamin X, and Mr. Boricua to come to the ring. The three LC members walk down the ramp, as the crowd boos and chants “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” Lindsay kicks Ayane while she’s on the mat.

 

LINDSAY

¡Déme cualquier cosa que usted puede encontrar bajo anillo!

 

COLE

Do you have anything what she just said?

 

HOFF

Well, I took a little Spanish in high school. I think she just told The LC to bring her any weapons into the ring.

 

Indeed, Wall, Boricua, and X search underneath the ring, while Lindsay chokes Ayane. Cuban Wall grabs a fire extinguisher from underneath the ring. Lindsay smiles a sinister smile, and picks Ayane up. Cuban Wall gets on the ring apron. Lindsay puts Ayane in front of her, and waits for Wall to spray the fire extinguisher. However, Cuban Wall can’t get the extinguisher to work. He tries several times, but nothing comes out.

 

COLE

Uh-oh. Wall got a malfunctioning extinguisher.

 

Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez gets tired of waiting, and orders Cuban Wall to get the extinguisher to work. After several times, Cuban Wall finally shoots the fire extinguisher…except, instead of shooting it at Ayane, it shoots at Lindsay!

 

HOFF

D’oh!

 

COLE

Lindsay Gonzalez has been sprayed with that fire extinguisher!

 

The crowd pops loudly. Ayane grabs the broomstick that’s been lying in the ring, and breaks it over Lindsay’s back! Ayane covers Lindsay.

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

THRE—LINDSAY GETS HER SHOULDER UP!

 

CABOOSE

Yes! I thought that was the finish right there.

 

HOFF

So did I.

 

COLE

The match continues. I tell ya, both women have given it their all in this match. They both want to be the one who gets her hand raised!

 

HOFF

This has certainly been quite the Hardcore Match. You have to wonder who will come out on top.

 

CABOOSE

*COUGH*Lindsay*COUGH*

 

Ayane grabs Lindsay and whips her into the ropes. However, Vitamin X grabs her right foot, and she almost trips. Ayane turns around, and yells at Vitamin X, who has a smirk on his face. This allows Lindsay the opportunity to attack Ayane from behind, hitting her in the back with her right knee. Lindsay does a kneedrop onto Ayane’s back again. The crowd chants “SLUT! SLUT! SLUT! SLUT!” but Lindsay ignores it. She picks up Ayane, and gives her an Irish whip. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez follows that with a crescent kick that connects with Ayane’s jaw.

 

COLE

You heard that all over the arena!

 

Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez stands over the fallen Ayane Mitsui with a smirk on her face. She laughs evilly, and then lets her hair down. She poses in the center of the ring, doing The Lightning Crew Salute, receiving a mixed reaction.

 

COLE

Lindsay feels like the end is near.

 

HOFF

She should just do her finisher then, and not pose.

 

Lindsay points to her short shorts, and asks the crowd if they want to see her take them off. The crowd shouts yes. Lindsay pulls down her short shorts, revealing her thong, but then pulls them back up, and gives the crowd the “Up yours!” sign. This causes the crowd to boo.

 

CABOOSE

Well, we are in the Mall Of America, and this is a family show. It’s neither the time nor the place.

 

Lindsay turns around…right into a kendo stick shot from Ayane Mitsui! Ayane smashes the kendo stick onto Lindsay’s stomach. She then smashes it across Lindsay’s back, breaking it. Lindsay stumbles across the ring, so Ayane gives Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez a kick to the knees. Gonzalez falls to one knee, so Ayane Mitsui decides there’s no better time…to do the Golden High Kick!

 

HOFF

The Golden High Kick! That’s Ayane’s finishing move!

 

COLE

The match could end right now.

 

CABOOSE

No! No!

 

Ayane Mitsui covers Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez. Charles Robinson counts.

 

1…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

CUBAN WALL KICKS AYANE IN THE BACK OF HER HEAD!

 

COLE

Oh damnit! Ayane was going to win!

 

CABOOSE

Hey, this is a Hardcore Match. Anything goes.

 

HOFF

As much as I hate to say it, Caboose is right. Cuban Wall can interfere with no problems.

 

Cuban Wall attacks Ayane while the crowd boos. Ayane tries to fight back, but is no match for the Muscle for The Lightning Crew. Mr. Boricua enters the ring, and the two do a beatdown on Ayane while Lindsay gets up.

 

COLE

This isn’t right. Even if it is a Hardcore Match, this is just wrong!

 

CABOOSE

Once again, anything goes in a Hardcore Match.

 

Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua take turns punching Ayane. Mr. Boricua grabs Ayane…and gives her a chokeslam on top of the stop sign.

 

HOFF

Good God!

 

Mr. Boricua picks up Ayane, and throws her to the outside. Vitamin X tells Lindsay to head to the top rope. Cuban Wall does the slow cutthroat hand motion.

 

COLE

This probably won’t end well for Ayane.

 

Ayane Mitsui slowly gets up on the outside. Lindsay laughs, hunched over on the top rope. Soon, Mitsui gets up, so Lindsay leaps off the top rope. Lindsay grabs Ayane with her legs, and gives her the Lindsay-Curana!

 

COLE

The Lindsay-Curana! Lindsay’s finishing move! And she did it from the top rope to the outside!

 

HOFF

That was incredible!

 

Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez laughs, and then covers Ayane Mitsui. Charles Robinson heads to the outside, and counts.

 

1…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3!!!

 

*DING DING DING* (6:04)

 

COLE

And Lindsay Gonzalez defeats Ayane Mitsui in a Hardcore Match!

 

CABOOSE

YEAH! Way to go, Lindsay! You just proved you were the superior athlete!

 

HOFF

Keep in mind; Lindsay had the advantage of this being a Hardcore Match. You have to wonder if the result would be different if this was a traditional one-on-one match.

 

CABOOSE

No it wouldn’t.

 

BUFFER

Ladies and Gentlemen, the winner of this match. MS. LINDSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY GONZAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZZZ!!!

 

“No Chance In Hell” by Bradley Boyds starts playing as Lindsay gets her hand raised by Charles Robinson. Ayane is still lying on the floor, holding her neck. Vitamin X, Cuban Wall, and Mr. Boricua applaud Lindsay, while the crowd gives her a mixed reaction.

 

COLE

This was indeed a brutal match. Lindsay and Ayane used everything but the kitchen sink. But in the end, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, the First Lady of The Lightning Crew, came out the winner.

 

HOFF

This match certainly impressed me. Both Lindsay and Ayane are great assets to the OAOAST women’s division. I expect both of them to win the Women’s Championship someday.

 

CABOOSE

Yeah, Lindsay would make a great Women’s Champion.

 

COLE

What about Ayane?

 

CABOOSE

Nah.

 

Lindsay laughs at Ayane…and then kicks her. She kicks her again and again, which causes the crowd to boo. Lindsay then picks up Ayane, and whips her into the barricade. She lays into Ayane’s forehead, and then throws her into the ring.

 

COLE

Now come on, the match is over! There’s no need for this!

 

CABOOSE

Well, what are you going to do?

 

Cuban Wall, Vitamin X, Mr. Boricua, and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez do a beatdown on Ayane Mitsui. “No Chance In Hell” dies down, as the four Lightning Crew members lay into Ayane with kicks. The crowd boos loudly.

 

COLE

This is not right.

 

Cuban Wall picks up Ayane, and places her on his right shoulder. He walks around the ring, holding Ayane, and then kneels down, giving her the Wallbreaker!

 

COLE

Why are they doing this? The match is over!

 

CABOOSE

Because Ayane is feuding with Lindsay, and The Lightning Crew has to protect Lindsay at all costs, or they will suffer the wrath of Tha Puerto Rican!

 

Cuban Wall bounces off the ropes, and hits Ayane with The Lightning Crew Splash! Mr. Boricua bounces off the ropes, and hits a splash of his own. The crowd chants “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” Lindsay picks up Ayane, and gives her the Latina Bitch Jam (Stratusfaction).

 

COLE

Stop this! Damnit! Stop this! Damnit! Damnit!

 

The Lightning Crew beat on Ayane, until Otaku II and “The Sheriff” Tony Capella run down the ramp. However, Otaku and Capella are attacked from behind by Thomas Rodriguez and “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican!

 

CABOOSE

THE CHAMP IS HERE!

 

HOFF (Sneezing)

RIP-OFF!

 

PRL and Thomas beat on Otaku II and Tony Capella on the outside, while Vitamin X, Cuban Wall, Mr. Boricua, and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez beat on Ayane in the ring. PRL and Thomas head into the ring to join in on the beatdown of Ayane.

 

HOFF

Come on, she’s had enough. Stop it. Just stop!

 

PRL orders The LC to step back. Ayane slowly gets up. When she turns around, Tha Puerto Rican kicks her in the gut…and gives Ayane Mitsui the Corporate Nightmare!

 

CABOOSE

Hee, hee, I could watch this all day.

 

Stephen Joseph Popick enters the ring, and joins in on the beatdown. Vitamin X applies the Lethal Injection on Ayane. The crowd boos even louder than they did before, and chants “P.R. SUCKS!” Tha Puerto Rican tells Mr. Boricua to continue the attack. As Boricua picks up Ayane, Otaku II and Tony Capella enter the ring. However, The Lightning Crew and Popick stop them from attacking by ganging up on them. Cuban Wall, Popick, and Vitamin X hold Otaku II back, while Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez and Thomas Rodriguez hold Tony Capella back. The LC taunts Otaku and Tony, forcing them to watch what PRL and Mr. Boricua are going to do to Ayane. Tha Puerto Rican orders Mr. Boricua to do a powerbomb on Ayane.

 

COLE

Oh no. This isn’t a fair fight. This is 6 men against one woman. One 5’5 110 pound woman! The Lightning Crew is showing how low they can get!

 

CABOOSE

No they aren’t! They’re showing how much they care about each other! The LC will stick with each other through thick and thin. If you feud with one member of The Lightning Crew, you feud with all 6 members!

 

Mr. Boricua places Ayane between his legs. He lifts Ayane up, holding her in the air for a few seconds.

 

COLE

That’s a 110-pound woman!

 

Mr. Boricua DRIVES Ayane Mitsui into the mat with the Latino Bomb (Powerbomb)! The crowd groans.

 

HOFF

PRL is showing what a despicable human being he is tonight. Ganging up on Ayane. He knows this isn’t a fair fight. Infact, I’m sure he loves that it won’t be a fair fight. And he’s forcing Otaku and Tony to watch all of this! Tha Puerto Rican is an asshole!

 

The Corporate 24/7 Champion high fives Mr. Boricua, congratulating him on a job well done. Ayane Mitsui lies in the middle of the ring knocked out. Otaku II and Tony Capella watch all of this in horror. Otaku has tears in his eyes.

 

COLE

Otaku II was forced to watch his wife get decimated by The Lightning Crew! What kind of a sick person is Tha Puerto Rican!?

 

HOFF

I bet this issue isn’t over. Infact, I think this has now turned personal!

 

COLE

And now Tha Puerto Rican and Otaku II are involved! What’s going to happen now?

 

CABOOSE

The same thing that always happens. PRL destroys Otaku II!

 

The Lightning Crew and Popick stand in the ring, posing. The crowd boos loudly and chants “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” Finally, after what seems like an eternity, The Lightning Crew and Popick leave the ring. The Lightning Crew and Popick high five each other as they walk up the ramp, all of them laughing evilly. Meanwhile, Otaku II and “The Sheriff” Tony Capella check on Ayane Mitsui. Otaku holds Ayane in his arms, crying. He hugs his wife, vowing revenge against The Lightning Crew and Popick. Tony looks to the entrance for the EMTs.

 

COLE

Wow. This is just very depressing to watch. What a horrible act The Lightning Crew committed tonight. They forced Otaku to watch his wife, Ayane Mitsui, get beatdown by Tha Puerto Rican and The Lightning Crew. What an awful, awful thing for a husband to see. No husband should see his wife go through something like Ayane went through tonight.

 

HOFF

Otaku II is now a man on a mission. He’s going to be fueled by rage. You can bet that he won’t stop until he gets his hands over Tha Puerto Rican’s neck, and personally, I can’t wait till that happens.

 

CABOOSE

Oh well. Life goes on.

 

HOFF

Don’t you feel any pity for what Otaku is going through?

 

CABOOSE

Hmmm. Nope.

 

HOFF

Ugh.

 

COLE

Don’t bother. Fans, we’ll be right back with more HeldDOWN~! right after this.

 

The last image we see is a close-up of Otaku II holding the knocked out Ayane Mitsui, crying his eyes out.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

As we return to HeldDOWN~!, our cameras give us a quick exterior shot of the mall at night before cutting back inside, skimming the crowd to give everyone and their signs 15 seconds of fame, before arguably the most anticipated theme song in the OAOAST comes over the sound system, drawing those fans into a frenzy!

 

COLE

We've gotten word that Zack Malibu has asked for this time, and it doesn't seem like anyone has anything against it!

 

"Getting Away With Murder" plays as Zack, clad in his wrestling gear for later on, walks down to the ring, scanning the crowd and slapping some hands along the way. The longtime OAOAST favorite rolls into the ring and under the bottom rope, and is gladly handed the microphone by Michael Buffer.

 

CABOOSE

This is a man with a lot on his mind, Cole.

 

COACH

Why do you always refer to Michael? Why not me?

 

CABOOSE

I try to block out your existence, but sometimes the smell distracts me.

 

COACH

HEY~!

 

CABOOSE

I didn't say it was a bad smell, but what do you do before the shows? Roll around in puddles of Old Spice?

 

Standing in the ring, Zack remains silent, letting his music drown out, although once it does, he's still unable to talk, as a loud chant comes up from the crowd.

 

"ZACK!"

 

"ZACK!"

 

"ZACK!"

 

COLE

Listen to the crowd, giving respect to the man who has given them so much these past three years.

 

CABOOSE

Some men would have broken under the pressures of stardom, but though there were times he had lynch mobs wanting to tear his head off, you cannot forget the accomplishments and strides that man has made for our company.

 

COACH

True dat.

 

ZACK

I'm out here tonight for a reason, and I'm going to be honest with you people, it might take a while, because I have a lot to get off my chest. Recently I've come under fire by a group of talent back there that you're all familiar with. Former World Tag Team Champions Johnny Jax and Scotty Static, and the former World Heavyweight Champion Drek Stone seem to have a grudge with me. Actually, it's selfish of me to say that, because it seems they have a grudge against this whole company. For weeks now, it's been attack after attack, mostly when no one was looking. For a group of guys that have stated they're doing this to prove themselves, guys, the only thing you're proving is that you're chickenshits!

 

The crowd roars, and Malibu nods his head, as the crowd is in definite agreement with him.

 

ZACK

Now I've heard the talk. I've heard Drek babble, I've heard the hints dropped by Crystal and Gunner a few weeks back. Apparently the winds are changing, and a storm is brewing within the company. Something that, according to people like Drek, or the GPX, that will be unstoppable, and is a result of my actions, as well as people like Some Guy, or Tony Brannigan, or Dan Black. Supposedly Drek and the rest of his cronies aren't happy with their place in life, but instead of searching deep down for the reasons why things are the way they are, they've decided to shift blame on others on the roster. They've made up this reasons in their heads that allow them to focus their aggressions on us, and if you're gonna keep coming, then I don't know about the others, but I'm going to come back at you tenfold, head on! If you want respect in this company, you need to earn your stripes. Not by jumping people from behind, but by finding an opening and taking it. You know why I'm so respected? Do you really want to know why? Not because of my championship wins. Not because of the fact that I've spent most of my career doing what I do for the people that fill these seats. Do you know why I'm respected, heralded as the Golden Boy, as The Franchise, even though there are instances in my past where I've made people want to see me suffer? It's because I never made an excuse for what I did, I just went out and did it. I may have acted on impulse sometimes, but I never, never, failed to take responsibility for my actions. I never put the blame on someone else, and that is exactly what Drek Stone and the GPX are doing. They are trying to poison the well. They are trying to make people believe that Zack Malibu and Some Guy and Dan Black and CWM and the rest of the people who have been here the entire time are running this company into the ground, and to them I say kiss my ass, because if anyone...if ANYONE has made sure this company stood tall and never crumbled, never showed any cracks in its foundation, it is ME, and I am damn sure not going to sit back and watch you try to take this company, a house that was built on the blood spilt by myself, by CWM, by Caboose, by Anglesault himself, and bring it crashing to the ground!

 

Malibu, heated, pulls the mic from his lips for a second, catching his breath, while the crowd goes wild. All of a sudden, "Just Close Your Eyes" comes over the PA and the lights dim, drawing boos from the crowd. After a few seconds, the sight of Drek Stone is seen at the top of the entranceway, and he begins walking to the ring, clutching a microphone of his own.

 

COLE

The tension is as thick as it could be, and I'm interested in seeing how Drek Stone responds to Zack here. I'm glad that Hoff isn't out here right now. We all know how much he and Drek despise each other.

 

Stone steps through the ropes, standing tall and walking close to Malibu, staring him down. Malibu, not intimidated, stares right back, and Stone starts talking.

 

STONE

Now, I think you need to be quiet for a few minutes, because I'm out here to translate what you just said. You talk about me, Scotty, Johnny, and what we do? You talk about earning respect? I'm a former World Heavyweight Champion, I should already HAVE your respect, as well as the respect of each and every one of these god damned people that are sitting on their asses in this arena and at their houses. Johnny Jax and Scotty Static should have their respect because they are former World Tag Team Champions who have KILLED themselves for this business. Crystal is the first ever, EVER female World Champion, and she did that by making your crybaby ass tap out in the Survive Or Surrender match last year. We should have the respect of the crowd, and of you and everyone else back in that locker room, but instead, our accomplishments are overlooked, because all you ever do is shift the spotlight back on yourself!

 

The crowd boos, but Drek cuts them right off.

 

STONE

Shut up, I'm not done! You too, Malibu, I'm not interested in a reply from you just yet. You want to talk about the house you built. That the foundation of the OAOAST was built on the blood of you and your peers, well you know what? I spit on that foundation and I'll spill the blood of every single one of you, YOU ESPECIALLY, because it makes me sick...SICK...to see things that I work hard for get overlooked, overshadowed by a guy who thinks he's the King of Charisma and his band of merry men. You, and CWM, and Some Guy, and Dan Black, and Tony, you have been at this for three years. I'm not saying you're old men, but you're stale. You're Franchise bit...it's old. It's passe. Black T, they call themselves the best tag team in history, and that's because they came up at a time where our tag division was lacking the talent! You want to talk about your legacies? YOUR LEGACIES WILL NOT UNDERMINE MY ACCOMPLISHMENTS! For three years, three years you've been the face of this company. Even when Anglesault was around, you became the star, with your In Crowd and fan appeal and marketability...whatever you want to call it, you broke through the barriers put up by the aWo, by Anglesault, and now, NOW, you are doing the same exact thing to ME and to people like me that you once fought against! What about Sly Sommers, Zack? The minute he says something derogatory about the great Zack Malibu, you get him canned like Chicken of the Sea! Northstar? The minute he catches on, the minute he has a chance to be "there", to be at your level, you wrap a chair around his throat and ship him off, never to be seen again. Two people, two bonafide stars in this company that were sent packing because YOU COULDN'T HANDLE THE FACT THAT SOMEONE, SOMEDAY, MIGHT PROVE THEMSELF TO BE BETTER THAN YOU! It eats you alive, and you cling to your position like a security blanket, because your ego can't take the pressure of it all. So you built this glass ceiling to protect you, and you surround yourself with these legends, these Originals, and you guys engage in an endless circle-jerk of warfare because of safety, of familiarity. It doesn't matter which one of you loses, because when you stick together like that, you're all winners, even though you'll stick a knife in each other's backs on a whim. You and your Originals are a band of cutthroats...hell, Dan Black can vouch for that very well.

 

MALIBU

Dan Black is a guy with no remorse, no regard for anyone but himself and his stable. Dan Black's the guy who is so badass that he had to snap the neck of my GIRLFRIEND to draw me out, and...

 

STONE

STOP TURNING THIS INTO SOMETHING ABOUT YOU! I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT YOUR FRIGGIN' GIRLFRIEND!

 

Malibu looks ready to pounce, but Drek is in a zone, wild-eyed and ready to speak again.

 

STONE

I'm talking about IntenseZone. The OAOAST Brand Extension of 2003, you remember that, Zack? Right after you won the title, right after you got the corporate seal of approval, it was decided that IntenseZone and HeldDOWN~! were going to exist as seperate entities. Mondays and Thursdays. Two different rosters to placate the talent, and what did you do? Why, you, the champion, who was supposed to represent the WHOLE COMPANY...not one show, BOTH SHOWS, you went out and you recruited people left and right for HeldDOWN~! You became the corporate spokesperson, and you went out and you found Crystal, Calvin, The Dream Machines, The Boogie Knights, Shattered Dreams, Northstar, whatever...Foshi, you brought Some Guy back, and you pulled off the coup of a lifetime when you took Caboose, someone that Popick wanted DEAD, literally, and you resurrected his career and his status in this company, and for what?

 

MALIBU

Because it was the right thing to do. Because it was good for business.

 

STONE

WRONG. It was good for Zack Malibu. It was good that Zack Malibu played hero, and brought back a legend. It was good that Zack Malibu managed to gain the respect of all this new talent and give them a shot, but shouldn't a man who represents the company help out HIS WHOLE COMPANY? What did IntenseZone get, Zack? Jay Darring? Where's he? Dangerous A? Long gone. BANKY? Yeah, great pick for them there. You let IntenseZone falter, you made a handful of appearances, and they struggled until a guy by the name of Mystery Eskimo decided to come back to reality and reinvent himself, and that brand, and you know what? He almost had it...he was RIGHT THERE, bringing IntenseZone up to the level of HeldDOWN~!, things were getting heavy and them WHAM! the hammer comes down on them and we're all supposed to be big one happy family again? The thing is, Zack is that there are a lot of family members back there that are sick of the games. People you brought here 2 years ago with promises of glory that they're still waiting to cash in on. People who have come here on their own accord, looking for the crack in the ceiling, waiting for the right moment to strike so that we shatter your barriers and break through. You say that the legacy of this company was built on your blood? Well we're gonna rewrite history, Zack, because the legacy of the OAOAST is going to be rewritten, and you're going to have to bleed again, Zack. You're going to have to bleed, and beg for mercy...you and the rest of those egotistical shits that call themselves Originals don't know what you've gotten yourself into. You can't fight it, Zack, you can't resist our existence anymore. The wheels are in motion, and you and I...I think that the only time you and I should see eye to eye is when we're across the ring from each other.

 

Drek puts his mic down, and walks towards Zack, going nose to nose with the Preppy One. Zack is fuming, angered at the blatant disregard for OAOAST history.

 

COLE

This is a tense situation.

 

CABOOSE

Drek Stone's calling out Zack for his ego, trying to say that what he's done for this company doesn't mean a thing, but what HE'S going to do will? Who's the one who needs a reality check?

 

Malibu backs away, giving himself room so he can pull his mic up and speak.

 

MALIBU

You know, I'm not an old man. I'm not some old fogey that you thing has had the limelight long enough. Week in and week out I do what I do because I love this sport, I love the people in it and that support it, and I love this company. Let me give YOU a history lesson, Drek. Let's scrap that revisionist history that you just pulled out of your ass...let's call it like it is, shall we. This company was never expected to get this big. No one gave it a chance when it first started out. No one thought it would last, but it was the efforts of people like myself, like Evenflow, like Alfdogg, like Superstar, we got people talking. Finally, Anglesault and his aWo business had some competition. We built up our roster, and you talk about how I cling to my spot? I never ASKED for my spot. You know how I got it? Let's rewind. Beach Brawl, 2002. Zack Malibu vs. the guy sitting right there at Sofa Central, Caboose. Up until that point, everyone thought I was some Hollywood wannabe, looking to steal some spotlight, and that night, that's when everyone's outlook on Zack Malibu changed. That was the night I was THAT CLOSE to becoming World Champion for the first time. It was the night that made Caboose, and Anglesault, and CWM, and everyone realize that Zack Malibu was for real. I didn't make idle threats, I didn't ask them to step aside, I didn't worm my way to the top of the card...I EARNED IT. Ashes II Ashes, World Title shot against Alfdogg...I lost, but again, I EARNED the respect of my peers. I pressed on, I fought hard, and it got me to the Anglemania main event, Anglemania II, 2003. The night I won the World Heavyweight Title, but more importantly, yeah, more importantly, it was the night I won UNANIMOUS RESPECT. I won that World Title, and believe me, I wanted it more than anything, but on that night, even Anglesault, the guy who this company was named after, the man with the most rampant ego in wrestling, gave me his seal of approval. He went backstage and he shook my hand and he told me "It's your time now", and I made the best of my opportunities. I have ALWAYS made the best of my opportunities, whether people agreed with me or not, I always did what I felt I had to do to benefit not just myself, but this company. Do you see Anglesault around anymore? No, and do you know why? Do you know why he doesn't need to come back and "check in"? Because he knows this company is in good hands, because as long as there is blood in my veins and breath in my body, I will not let this company crumble, because this company has given me a home, they have given me respect, and they have given me a life that I wouldn't trade in for anything...so you wanna talk about selfishness? Yeah, I am selfish at times, but I'm selfish because I try to take everything and anything that can make this company better and add it to the mix. I look at the talent, I watch the shows, I go to the stores to see how our products sell, because this company gave me the best it had to offer, and I promise that until the day I die I will give back 110% to this company and these fans and I will NOT LET SOME PUNK TRYING TO MAKE A QUICK NAME FOR HIMSELF TELL ME THAT WHAT I'M DOING IS WRONG! If YOU want to make a name, Drek, let's see YOU earn it. You've got my attention these days, but I ask you, face to face, man to man...

 

(Zack inches closer, and Drek backsteps a bit, seemingly worried)

 

MALIBU

...what are YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT?

 

Drek, put on the spot, doesn't know how to react. Malibu is fuming, and seconds later cocks his arm back, coming forward with a slap that stuns Drek and knocks the taste out of his mouth.

 

MALIBU

THAT is what you've earned from me, Drek Stone. Your a former World Champion, your a bonafide superstar, but it means absolutely nothing if you don't respect the OAOAST. You talk about breaking the barriers, you talk about some revolution, what does it all mean if you don't respect the legacy of this company? Have you thought this through, or is it all just words, just a way to draw me out to try and elevate your status a little bit? Let me tell you something, I told you you've got my attention, so now the ball is in your court. If you are what you say you are, if you think that you can do what you've promised for weeks now, then I want to see it. I want you to drop that mic, I'll drop mine, and I want to see you take me out!

 

Drek does a double take, and Malibu tosses his mic over the ropes to the floor, ready to go. Drek is silent, perhaps not knowing what to say after Malibu has just told him his own thoughts. Drek steps forward, with Malibu waving him on, ready for action.

 

DREK

You know what, Malibu? Your time is coming...but it's not now.

 

Drek drops the mic and turns away from Malibu, jumping through the ropes and down to the floor. Malibu stands in the ring, watching him walk away, while fans boo Drek Stone loudly and viciously.

 

COLE

Malibu called Drek Stone's bluff, and now the former World Champion is walking away from a fight!

 

COACH

That just made tonight's matchup a LOT more interesting!

 

CABOOSE

Don't forget though, right now Drek and the GPX have an advantage, because all we know is that Rodez and Malibu are teaming, they're still missing a third man!

 

COLE

Hopefully we'll find out who it is when we come back!

 

El Breako de Commerciale

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

CLOSE-UP: Michael Cole

 

COLE

Fans, we still have more great action to come here tonight. In a few moments we're going to hear from the former World Heavyweight Champion Tony Brannigan. Before we do, an incident occurred over the weekend involving the Heavenly Rockers that has resulted in the New New Midnight Express being held off OAOAST television. Footage of the incident was captured on a fan's camcorder and is currently being sealed until officials complete their investigation. We hope to have more information -- and hopefully the video -- for you next week.

 

Right now we're going to hear from Tony Brannigan. It was just two weeks ago, at the Great Angle Bash, that Drek Stone and the Global Party XChange helped Axel defeat Brannigan for the World Title. One could argue that if it weren't for the involvement of Stone and the GPX Tony Brannigan would still be the World Champion. All previous interview attempts have been denied...until now. Let's hear these pre-recorded comments.

 

TONY

You must excuse me if I sound bitter...because I AM! Everybody who saw the Great Angle Bash knows I am the uncrowned World Heavyweight Champion. I didn't lose my championship, it was stolen from me, thanks in large part to Drek Stone and the GPX. For weeks Stone and the GPX have been whining about how they aren't getting their fair shake, how there's a glass ceiling, how me becoming World Champion killed whatever chance they had to rise up and take their spots at the top. I didn't bust my ass to lose the title like this. It took me 3 long years to acheive the goal every wrestler has when they enter this sport, and that's become World Heavyweight Champion. The OAOAST Title is the only championship in the world that makes every other belt look like a red-headed bastard stepchild. It's a World Title I may never have the opportunity to ever wrestle for again because of the enemies I've made in high places. Take Battlebowl for example. Can somebody explain to me why the hell I had to win Battlebowl to get another shot at the title I just held and lost under a controversial matter just a week before? Oh, but it gets even better. You see, I'm drawn a partner who doesn't even show up. In addition to that I'm supposed to face my fellow Original Elite and Black T partner Dan Black and one of the men who helped Axel beat me at the Bash after he sent out an S.O.S. -- Drek Stone. Stone then has his goons come out and attack with baseball bats and he get to advance to Battlebowl. I mean, what the hell?

 

Now Hoff, a guy who had to vacant the World Title 11 DAYS into his reign because of bum knee is the new #1 contender?! That's BS. As the last reigning World Champion I should be getting my rematch at License to Pin, but getting anything through Joise Baker's office at this time is like finding intelligent life-form in Washington. Or bad leadership.

 

Axel, I don't know what's up with you, and frankly, I don't care, but you are walking around with stolen property. Champ -- and I lose that term loosely -- under Brannigan's Law stealing is a major offense, especially when the stolen property belongs to ME.

 

Going back to Drek Stone and the GPX. You guys wanna get down and dirty? Well I got two guys who are more than willing to get down and dirty...

 

The crowd ERUPTS as DAN BLACK and CWM appear on-screen.

 

TONY

Your dream came true at the Bash, but in the process you awoken your nightmare. We're not going to need baseball bats to kick your ass. We're not going to need to run you over with a monster truck. We just plan on kicking major ass. Where I come from, Hollywood, the remake is king. Well, boys, you're set to star in the lastest Hollywood remake produced by The Original Elite -- To Hell and Back! Payback is a bitch. Utterly proper considering you and the GPX are the biggest one's in the OAOAST.

 

COLE

Wow, Tony just let it all hang out right there. That is one angry ex-champion.

 

HOFF

Emphasis on ex. Whining like Mohammed Hassan won't get you anywhere, bub.

 

License to Pin

Sunday, July 31st

ONLY on PPV!!

 

COLE

What a great show we've had so far.

 

CABOOSE

This has been a horrible show.

 

HOFF

I think someone's jealous we haven't been to the "Mall of England."

 

CABOOSE

There IS no Mall of England!

 

HOFF

Man, you guys suck.

 

COLE

Well one thing that doesn't suck is the OAOAST tag team division! Unlike SOME companies, we've got tons of great tag action every week, and we're proud to bring you one hell of a match in a few moments: CSI taking on the SK8R BOIS for the titles! Now Hoff, I know you'll have some thoughts on this.

 

HOFF

My thoughts are this. CSI, Chris Stevens and his goons, they're a bunch of low-level thugs with a bad attitude. These guys don't deserve to be on tonight's show. They give Minnesota, my home, a bad name. BUT...having said all that, I know these guys, and they're all tough competitors. Chris Stevens is one of the best wrestlers on the planet today. He's not THE best, that's still me, but he's up there.

 

CABOOSE

Get your lips off of your own ass.

 

HOFF

Bite me, Brit boy. I'm doing your job better than you ever could.

 

COLE

HA!

 

HOFF

Now the Sk8r Bois, these guys have been the champs for a good little while, but it seems like each week they're barely hanging on. They say it's better to be lucky than good, but I'll tell ya, with Chris Stevens, sometimes lucky isn't enough. The Bois are gonna have a tough row to hoe tonight.

 

COLE

Caboose, your thoughts?

 

CABOOSE

Yeah, let me give you an EXPERT point of view...and Hoff, don't ever forget who has more World Titles.

 

HOFF

For now...

 

CABOOSE

Yeah, keep dreamin', bub. As for this match, I hate to agree with Hoff, but any fool knows that the titles are changing hads tonight. Chris Stevens is the MAN, he's MY man, he's one of the top technicians in the world today, and Jay Richards, the rookie, is a hell of a high-flyer. They'll more than be able to keep up with the Bois' speed, and after that, all the advantages favor CSI.

 

HOFF

Except, of course, the championship advantage. A rule breaker like you ought to eb familiar with that.

 

CABOOSE

I don't think the Bois are smart enough to cheat.

 

HOFF

Well, for what it's worth, I never said the belts would change hands. Just that the Bois had a tough night ahead of them.

 

COLE

So you predict that the champs will retain?

 

HOFF

We'll see.

 

The camera cuts to Buffer, standing by in the ring.

 

BUFFER

Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall, and it is for the OAOAST Tag Team Championship!

 

*dun dun* *dun dun*

*dun dun* *dun dun*

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOO ARE YOU? WHO WHO, WHO WHO!

I really wanna know

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOO ARE YOU? WHO WHO, WHO WHO!

 

"Who Are You" kicks in, and out come Chris Stevens, Jay Richards, and Jumbo: CSI. In his seat, Hoff bristles.

 

COLE

Easy, Hoff.

 

HOFF

I hope the Bois kick some ass tonight...

 

CABOOSE

And I hope the...um...the...well I hope some bad sports team wins a championship. NOT HAPPENING!

 

CSI hits the ring, Jay being his usual, exuberant self, while Stevens stays more reserved. He stands pat on the ring apron, not even looking at Hoff as Jay tests the ropes on the inside.

 

COLE

Stevens ignoring you, Hoff, and focusing on the task at hand.

 

HOFF

That's probably a good thing.

 

BUFFER

Introducing first, from Rochester, Minnesota, and from Orange City, Iowa, respective--

 

Buffer is cut off in midsentence by Jay, who whispers something in his ear.

 

BUFFER

I apologize. From Rochester and from GREEN BAY, WISCONSIN...

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!"

 

BUFFER

The team of Chris Stevens and Jay Richards.....C-S-IIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Jay raises his arms in the air as Jumbo lets out a loud guffaw from ringside. Stevens even manages a chuckle.

 

HOFF

That little bastard.

 

BUFFER

And their opponents...

 

Green Day's "Boulevard of Broken Dreams" hits the speakers, and the tag team champs come boarding out to a HUGE ovation!

 

BUFFER

From Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, at a combined weight of 345 pounds, they are Hell Mel...The Marv...the OAOAST Tag Team Champions of the WOOOOOOOORLD....the SKATERRRRR BOOOIIIIIIZ~!~!~!

 

The Bois slap hands with the crowd on their way to the ring, the large OAOAST Tag Title belts looking impressive around their thin waists. The tag champs hop off their boards at ringside and climb into the ring, hopping onto the turnbuckles and throwing their hands in the air! They climb down...and Richards jumps Marvin from behind!!

 

*ding ding ding*

 

The ref calls for the bell, ushering Mel out of the ring as Richards works over the back of the Marv. Jay grabs the tag title belt from off of Marvin's waist, holds it up to his face, and checks his reflection! The fans boo...until Mar dropkicks the title into Jay's face!

 

HOFF

Nice.

 

Jay falls, the tag belt flying. Referee Tim White slides it out of the ring, to the timekeeper, then gets back to the action as Marv whips Jay off the ropes...no, reversal, and Marv goes flying! The champ comes off the ropes, and Jay throws a leg lariat, but Marvin ducks and keeps running! Jay turns, and The Marv hits a FLYING FOREARM! Cover, but Jay gets out at two.

 

HOFF

Caboose, I believe you were saying something about Jay bein"more than able" to keep up?

 

CABOOSE

He was caught by surprise!

 

HOFF

Uh-huh.

 

COPLE

What?! Jay Richards was the one who jumped The Marv before the bell!

 

CABOOSE

SHUT UP!!

 

Marvin pulls Jay up and drags him to the champs' corner, tagging in Hell Mel. Stevens shouts some words of encouragement to his partner, but they do little good as The Marv extends Jay's arm and Melvin comes springing over the ropes with a double axe-handle! Jay reels, shaking out his arm, and Melvin grabs him in a side headlock from behind. Jay, though shoots Marvin into the ropes, breaking free of the hold, and then catches the smaller tag champ with a shoulder block, sending Melvin to the canvas. Jay looks out at the crowd and raises his fists in victory, letting out a healthy, Owen Hart-style "WOOOO!"

 

HOFF

Come on, Jay. You didn't do anything yet.

 

Melvin rolls up to his feet and again runs the ropes. Jay ducks, telegraphing a backdrop, and Melvin leapfrogs him, landing behind Jay. Melvin leaps into the air, dropkicking Jay blindly! Mel's feet connect with Jay's back, sending him careening into the ropes, where The Marv blasts him with a right hand! Jay reels, stumbling backward into a rollup! ONE! TWO! NO!!!!

 

COLE

Jay Richards just barely kicked out!

 

CABOOSE

But he did kick out, Cole. And he'll continue to do so untl these 98-pound weaklings are out of gas. Then we've got new champs.

 

HOFF

I wouldn't be so sure, Caboose. So far it's been all Bois. They're a well-oiled machine. I know Jay and Chris all too well, and they're singles guys.

 

Jay gets to his feet and walks over to Melvin, catching a forearm for his troubles. Mel throws another but Jay ducks, then gives Mel a THUMB TO THE EYE. Stevens applauds from the apron as White scolds Richards, but the cocky youngster waves him off abd grabs Hell Mel by the hair. Jay whips Melvin into the ropes, and Melvin leaps into the air, SPRINGBOARDING off the second rope and twisting in mid-air into a cross body...but Richards ducks it and Melvin eats the canvas!

 

HOFF

You don't want to do the high-risk stuff too early on, because your opponents are fresher and they'll be able to duck, dodge, or counter it. That's inexperience right there.

 

Jay grabs Melvin by the hair and drags him to the CSI corner, tagging in Chris Stevens. The fans boo as Stevens enters the ring, preparing to do his work.

 

COLE

Chris Stevens isn't the least bit popular in his hometown.

 

HOFF

Well, why would he be. He's a malicious jackass.

 

CABOOSE

Malicious, that's a pretty big word for a roid-monkey.

 

*SMACK*

 

CABOOSE

OW!!

 

HOFF

That's right, ow.

 

Stevens grabs the arm of Melvin and twists, wringing it. Melvin groans in pain as he doubles over. Stevens rolls through and wrings the arm again, sending another jolt of pain through Hell Mel's small frame. As Mel winces, Stevens snaps a kick to his ribs, letting go of the arm as Melvin falls to the canvas. Stevens adds injury to insult by stomping Melvin in the lower back, knocking him off of all fours and onto his stomach.

 

COLE

Now come on, that's just uncalled for.

 

HOFF

It is sound strategy, Cole. Regrettably. If you act superior, like it's not even a challenge for you, you can intimidate the hell out of a guy.

 

The Marv yells in protest from ringside, and Stevens stomps toward him, drawing the attention of rreferee Tim White. As White is distracted, the fans jeer while Jay Richards runs in, grabs the legs of Melvin, and puts a boot to the "lower extremities." Mel howls in pain as the smiling Richards exits hastily.

 

CABOOSE

See, Hoff? Well-oiled machine.

 

HOFF

We'll see if it holds.

 

Stevens turns away from The Marv, leaving him frazzled on the ring apron. The CSI namesake picks Melvin up and applies a front chancery, draining the energy from the tag champ. Melvin tries to break free, but Stevens turns the hold into a wicked DDT! Hell Mel hits the mat and Stevens rolls him over, laying into a cover...but Melvin kicks out to a cheer at two!

 

COLE

Hell Mel has some fight in him yet!

 

Stevens slaps the mat as he rises, then picks his opponent up. Stevens grabs Melvin and scoops him up, but Mel slides down Stevens' back! Mel runs the ropes, and Marvin makes a blind tag!

 

COLE

The tag made!

 

The fans cheer as Marv scales the turnbuckles while Mel comes off the ropes! Stevens misses with a back elbow, and Mel slides out of the ring as Marvin dives off the top with a HUGE cross-body! COVER!

 

ONE!!

 

 

 

 

TWO!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THR--NO!!! Stevens kicks out!

 

HOFF

Damn, that was pretty. And it nearly got the job done.

 

COLE

Great teamwork by the OAOAST Tag Champs.

 

Marvin hops off of Stevens and to his feet, quickly running up the turnbuckles!! The fans pop as the agile Marv poises on the top rope, back to the ring, as Stevens gets to his feet! Stevens turns, and Marv launches himself with a MOONSAULT.....but Stevens catches him with a SUPERKICK!!!!!!!!!!~!

 

CROWD

:o

 

CABOOSE

OH, YES~! That was AMAZING!!

 

Jay goes NUTS on the outside, shocked at what his partner did. Jumbo's eyes bug out in shock. Stevens crawls to his opponent, flips The Marv over, and covers him!

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREE!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Stevens looks up at Tim White, who points out that Marvin's foot is ON THE ROPE!!

 

CABOOSE

NO!! HOW?!

 

The fans go BANANA as a pained expression crosses Stevens' face. Stevens picks Marv up, then slaps his thigh before whipping the champ into the ropes.

 

CABOOSE

That's it, Chris! ONE MORE TIME!

 

Marvin comes off, and Stevens fires another superkick...but Marvin somersaults underneath his leg!! Stevens, confused, turns around into a DROPSAULT!! The fans cheer as Stevens gets knocked back, but Jay Richards makes the blind tag!! From the apron, Hell Mel cheers his partner on as he monkey flips Stevens over! Marvin looks back at Stevens in celebration, but Jay catches him from behind with a spinwheel kick!! MArvin hits the canvas!

 

CABOOSE

There you go, there you go. Turnabout is fair play. Now Hoff, you gotta admit, Stevens and Richards are working pretty well together.

 

HOFF

More than I thought they would, yes. But not so well as the Bois.

 

Jay laughs as he picks the Marv up....and a gasp comes from the fans as BROCK AUSSTIN appears at the top of the aisle!

 

COLE

What the hell?! Brock Ausstin! What's he doing here?

 

CABOOSE

Watching his teammates win gold!

 

HOFF

Yeah, but...does he even WANT them to win?

 

Brock looks on as Richards grabs Marvin by the head, and drills him with a ROCKER DROPPER!! Jay gets up...and sees Brock at the entranceway!! Jay looks at Brock with confusion, and the monster just shrugs!

 

HOFF

Right now, Brock is hurting CSI's chances. He's a distraction. They need to be focused.

 

COLE

You're telling us! Look in the ring!

 

In the ring, The Marv slowly crawls to his corner, and tags in Hell Mell! Melvin walks up behind Jay, standing there with a smile on his face!

 

CABOOSE

Why doesn't Mel hit him?!

 

COLE

I think Melvin is amused by this situation!

 

It gets worse, as Chris Stevens hops off the apron and walks down the aisle! Stevens and Brock have words, meeting midway down, and start yelling at each other!! Jay looks on in disbelief, then just waves them off and turns around. Unfortunately, he doesn't hear Jumbo's warning, and he turns right into a small package!!

 

ONE!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREE!!!!!!!!!!!

 

*ding ding ding*

 

BUFFER

The winner of this contest, and STILL OAOAST Tag Team Champions.....THE SKATER BOOOOOIIIIIIIZZZ!!!!

 

Stevens turns in shock as the bell rings, slapping his forehead as Melvin and Marvin grab their belts and pose on the ropes. Jay Richards rolls out of the ring, slapping the edge of the apron in frustration. He and Jumbo walk down the aisle, and Jay starts yelling at his fellow CSI members. Stevens turns to Brock, who just laughs as he walks away. Stevens shakes his head as he consoles Richards.

 

COLE

Well it was closer than a lot of us expected, but in the end the Bois hang on once again!

 

HOFF

I don't like CSI, but they need to get this ironed out if they're gonna survive.

 

CABOOSE

For once, we agree. This is no good.

 

COLE

Well a great match nonetheless, and we've got more to come, so stay tuned! Alfdogg defends the Heartland Title in a Falls Count Anywhere match, NEXT!!!

 

The same three commercials for the "Hoff Does Yodeling" CD and OAOAST-brand suppositories you've seen all night

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

*The Wall by Kansas hits and Alfdogg makes his way out of the curtains and down to the ring.*

 

BUFFER

This match, scheduled for one fall, is for the OAOAST Heartland championship, with a special stipulation, Falls Count Aywhere in the Mall! Introducing first, from Anderson, Indiana, weighing in at 250 pounds...a former Heavyweight Champion of the World...and the reigning OAOAST Heartland Champion...ALFDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!

 

*Alf walks to the other side of the ring and grabs a mic.*

 

HOFF

Alfdogg's at a place I'm very familiar with. He's got a title around his waist; it may not be the world title, but he treats it like one and the fans are responding to that.

 

COLE

Alfdogg has come back since Anglemania IV and slowly started to win the fans over, although he's still a controversial and sometimes downright nasty figure.

 

CABOOSE

Bah, who needs fans when you've got a title. Or, when you don't have one.

 

HOFF

Strong, words, Caboose. But I don't remember the last time you had an autograph signing in Derby.

 

CABOOSE

You son of a....

 

Hoff snickers as Alfdogg takes the mic.

 

ALF

All right you guys, the time has arrived, my first title defense. Let's find out who the lucky man is, come on down!

 

*Alf sets down the mic and starts getting loose.*

 

"Sexy Boy" hits and the crowd goes crazy as Some Guy comes through the curtain!

 

HOFF

Whoa, daddy!

 

COLE

It's SOME GUY! He said he had business to take care of!

 

He makes a serious stride to the ring, where Alf is shown pacing back in forth in wait. SG slides into the ring, ducks an Alf clothesline attempt, and DRILLS Alf with one of his own! SG delivers a second clothesline, and a third, and yells out to the crowd, driving them into a frenzy! SG grabs Alf and pulls him into the corner, ramming his head into the buckles as the crowd counts along...

 

1!!!

 

2!!!

 

3!!!

 

4!!!

 

5!!!

 

6!!!

 

7!!!

 

8!!!

 

9!!!

 

10~!!!!1111

 

COLE

Some Guy has got things rolling here in the Mall of America!

 

Alf is in a daze, as SG runs to the opposite ropes and floors Alf with a Hart Attack clothesline! SG goes for a cover, 1..2..but Alf is able to kick out at two. SG picks up Alf, and hits an overhead belly-to-belly suplex for another two-count! SG whips Alf into the ropes and puts his head down, and Alf scores with a kick, then sets up a powerbomb attempt...SG backdrops out...but Alf lands on his feet! Alf quickly scores with a savate kick to the gut, then tries the powerbomb again...but this time SG slides out onto his feet in mid-air and scores with a kick to the midsection, then tries another Irish whip, reversed by Alf. SG ducks a clothesline, but runs into a AA SPINEBUSTER~! Alf rests for a second, then gets a quick two-count.

 

HOFF

I like the move choice there.

 

CABOOSE

It's better than the crap you throw.

 

HOFF

I'll throw YOUR crap.

 

CABOOSE

.......

 

HOFF

YEAH~!

 

CABOOSE

Did Coachman feed you that line?

 

HOFF

Yeah.

 

Alf continues on the assault, throwing SG out over the top rope, and following with a somersault plancha! Alf stays on top of SG and delivers punches to the head, then gets up and kicks SG away from the ring! Alf grabs SG by the hair, and pulls him towards the Underwater Adventures Aquarium with referee Charles Robinson in hot pursuit.

 

HOFF

Okay, now this place was a lot more fun when it first opened. I went there when I was a teenage Hoffer, stompin' around the mega mall like I owned the place. Those were good times, I remember the springs were always filled with passionate memories and the summer nights were--

 

CABOOSE

Can we get back to the match?!?

 

SG takes Alf down by the leg and drops a quick elbow to the back of the head! SG grabs Alf by the head and heads for the shark tank!!! Alf grabs SG in an armbar to stop his momentum, then kicks him SQUARE IN THE NUTS~!!!!1111 Alf grabs SG's legs, and sets up a slingshot INTO THE TANK!!! However, security stands in front of the tank, blocking it off, and boos can be heard from the crowd. Alf stomps SG in the NUTS~! and turns to attack the security guards! Alf delivers right hands to four of the guards and gives the fifth a DDT on the floor! He then runs back up the hall to find SG.

 

HOFF

It's a big mall, fellas. Oh, by the way, Caboose, in America we walk on the right side of the hallway.

 

CABOOSE

You @#$%....

 

Alf passes by the Swatch store, only to have a display case of Swatch watches pushed onto him by SG! SG drops a leg onto the case, and covers for two! SG pulls Alf out of the Swatch wreckage...then picks him up in suplex position, holds him for a few seconds, and DROPS HIM INTO THE PILE OF SWATCHES~!!!!! Alf writhes in pain, rolling around in the Swatch pile. SG picks up Alf and drags him into the Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory, and throws him into a shelf filled with chocolate bars!

 

COLE

Look at all the delicious chocolate! That's the kind of confection you can only find at Rocky Mountain!

 

HOFF

And folks, be sure to wash it down with a delicious Dr. Pepper.

 

Alf tries to stand as Hershey bars spill off of the shelf on top of him, but SG puts him back down with a back elbow. SG attempts to ram Alf's head into the counter, but Alf blocks and sends SG in! Alf slowly gets to his feet, and eyes two chocolate dispensing guns (similar to those used at McDonald's for Big Mac sauce). Alf grabs the guns, holds them in the air, and squirts chocolate out, then makes his way over to SG and starts squirting the chocolate into his face! Alf wipes off the ends of the guns with his fingers and licks them off.

 

ALF (to SG)

Looks like somebody's got a sweet tooth! You made a little mess there, didn't you, big guy? Well here, let me help you clean up a little bit! *waves at Charles Robinson* Come on, Chuck.

 

Alf drags SG over to Starbuck's, and gives him a belly-to-belly onto a table. He then jumps over the counter and grabs a tank of coffee, and pours it onto SG!

 

COLE

I hope that's decaf!

 

HOFF

Why do you say that?

 

COLE

Because our superstars have enough energy already!

 

COLE AND HOFF

HI-YOOOOO!!

 

CABOOSE

I actually miss Coachman. I can't believe this.

 

SG quickly jumps off the table, scalded by the hot coffee! Alf follows SG into Circuit City, and grabs a CD off the counter, and is just about to smash it over SG's head, then realizes it's a copy of Ashlee Simpson's Autobiography. He stares at the CD strangely, then is interrupted by the guy behind the counter:

 

CASHIER

Excuse me sir, but that CD's reserved.

 

ALF

...you mean someone actually put this hunk of shit on HOLD???

 

CASHIER

Yes, as a matter of fact, a young man came in a couple hours ago and requested that we keep this until the end of the night.

 

ALF

*starts to grin* *whispers to self* Young man... *looks at cashier* You happen to know this "young man's" name?

 

CASHIER

Well, we didn't actually get a name, he just identified himself as "Hoff."

 

The fans, watching on the makeshift AngleTron, let out a collective grasp.

 

COLE

Oh my word!

 

CABOOSE

BWA HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

 

HOFF

That...is....NOT MINE....oh, somebody is getting their ass kicked tonight, I swear.

 

CABOOSE

Sure, Hoff...heh.

 

HOFF

Son of a.....

 

Alf looks at Charles Robinson and the two grin at each other briefly before SG brings an arm up HARD in bewteen Alf's legs! Alf lays the CD back on the counter, and is dragged by SG in Bloomingdale's, where SG attempts to choke out Alf with a scarf! SG picks up Alf by the scarf and swings him around, sending Alf into another clothing rack!

 

HOFF

That's a good look for Alf.

 

Alf takes the scarf off and tries to get away from SG, and they end up at the LEGO Imagination Center. SG grabs Alf, and crotches him onto a wall of LEGO's! Alf stays on the wall, and it falls over. SG picks up the wall and breaks it in half, then gets a running start, and drops a double leg on Alf with the LEGO wall! The wall breaks over Alf's face, and Some Guy covers...

 

1....

 

2.......

 

But Alf kicks out at two! Alf spits a LEGO out as he gets up, and the two slug it out in front of a big, see-through tub of LEGOs, which is about four feet high and about 12 square feet wide. Alf whips SG into the wall of the pool, and SG goes down. As SG gets up, Alf grabs him to set up a belly-to-belly, but SG delivers three headbutts to Alf and gives him a vertical suplex into the LEGO pool! SG stops to catch his breath, then goes into the pool...but Alf is gone! SG walks through the pool looking for Alf, then turns to Charles Robinson to ask if he saw where Alf went. Behind SG, Alf's head is seen slowly rising from the LEGOs, then going back in. A few seconds later, Alf's foot rises from the LEGOs and catches SG STRAIGHT IN THE BALLS~!!!!!11111 Alf then jumps up on the edge of the pool, and springs back with a Hurricanrana! Alf follows with a standing moonsault!!!

 

 

1.........

 

 

2..............

 

 

SG kicks out at two!!! SG has the presence of mind to come up with a handful of LEGOs and rake Alf's face with them.

 

COLE

Both men using the Legos to their advantage!

 

HOFF

They put a warning on the box for a reason, guys. Come on now.

 

SG then gives Alf a back suplex and starts scaling a LEGO ladder. Alf is able to follow, however, and the two slug it out on the ladder some ten feet above the LEGO pool! Alf pulls a handful of LEGOs out of his pocket and rakes SG's eyes, then sets up a SUPERPLEX!!! However, SG blocks, and reverses Alf off of the ladder BACK INTO THE LEGO POOL!!! SG finishes scaling the ladder, which is now 15 feet in the air. SG comes off with the SOMETON BOMB~!!!!!11111

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

But Alf rolls out of the way, and SG lands BACK FIRST IN THE POOL OF LEGOS!!!

 

HOFF

Ho-ly hell.

 

Alf covers!

 

 

1............

 

 

 

 

2.................

 

 

 

 

NO!!! SG kicks out!!!

 

COLE

I cannot believe it! Some Guy barely gets a shoulder up!

 

Both men lay in the LEGOs for a few seconds, but Alf makes it to his feet first, and throws SG out of the pool. Alf picks SG up in samoan drop position and carries him, before he notices a Power Wheels car made out of LEGOs. Alf drops SG on the ground and goes to talk to the 7-year old kid standing by it.

 

ALF

Does this thing actually run?

 

KID

Yeah, it's battery-powered.

 

ALF

Can you drive it?

 

KID

Yeah.

 

ALF

Well, you're about to take us for a ride.

 

COLE

Wait, this isn't right!

 

The kid gets in the driver's seat as Alf ties SG to the back of the car by his feet and gets in the back seat of the car. Alf has to sit with his feet in the seats and sits on the trunk.

 

ALF

Saddle up, Chuck, we're going for a ride.

 

Charles Robinson sits on the trunk with his back facing Alf.

 

ALF

Come on, let's go.

 

The kid is looking off into space, so Alf slaps him in the back of the head.

 

ALF

Drive, bitch!

 

The kid starts driving the car down the South Avenue towards the West Market. Alf points towards the Gap Kids Store.

 

ALF

Baby clothes.

 

CHARLES ROBINSON

This place has got everything!

 

SG is able to pull himself up and pulls Charles Robinson off of the car, then pulls himself up and tackles Alf into the kid, causing him to crash the LEGO car into the Kay Jewelers store!

 

HOFF

This seems like a good time to remind our viewers that every kiss begins with Kay.

 

CABOOSE

Hoff, how much are you making tonight for all these endoresements?

 

HOFF

Let me put it to you like this, Caboose. You have a pool at your house?

 

CABOOSE

No, do you?

 

HOFF

I do now.

 

A case of diamonds spills onto Alf, SG and the kid as alarms sound, and the kid punches Alf in the BALLS~! and runs off! SG slams Alf into the diamonds, then picks him up and drags him to GameStop.

 

HOFF

I just got a Nintendo DS from Gamestop this morning.

 

COLE

What does that have to do with the match?

 

HOFF

Well, nothing, really. But it is cool.

 

CABOOSE

Nintendo DS? What are you, like five?

 

HOFF

Hey, 'Booze, you got a PSP, right?

 

CABOOSE

Damn right.

 

HOFF

Can I see it?

 

CABOOSE

Damn right you can, check this baby out. Games, movies, music, photos...HEY!!

 

Caboose LUNGES as Hoff tosses the PSP into the crowd!

 

HOFF

There. One lucky fan just got a PSP...from the future.

 

CABOOSE

........

 

HOFF

See? Y'like what I did there? With the words?

 

CABOOSE

Ugh.

 

SG tries to hang Alf over his back with a PlayStation 2 controller! Alf maneuvers his way to a wall and pushes himself over SG's back, then spears him into the wall, sending X-Box games spilling onto SG's head. Alf looks up.

 

ALF

Ooh, crepes! Time for a refreshment break, Chuck!

 

Alf runs down the hall to the Magic Pan Crepe Stand and grabs a crepe with chocolate syrup from a customer and eats it. SG makes his way over to the stand and powerbombs Alf through a table! SG covers for two, then drags Alf to the Orange Julius.

 

SOME GUY

Need something to wash those crepes down, bitch?

 

SG holds Alf's head under the smoothie machine as it sprays onto Alf's face, then breaks a glass over Alf's head! They make their way into the North Garden, where Alf is sent into a photo lab by SG. SG grabs a camera.

 

SOME GUY

This right here, my friend, is a Kodak moment.

 

SG kicks Alf in the face and then takes a picture of him. Alf walks into Victoria's Secret with SG and Charles Robinson in hot pursuit. SG slams Alf onto the sales counter and hammers away, then chokes him with a black lingerie article. SG looks at the lingerie.

 

SOME GUY

Wow, what a coincidence. This is the same thing your mom was wearing last night! Of course, hers was a little bigger, but you get the point.

 

HOFF

ZING~!

 

Alf and SG brawl to an elevator in the center of the North Garden.

 

COLE

These two have gone all over the Mall of America and don't seem to be slowing down one bit. We're going to take a break, but we'll pick this match up in a moment on HeldDOWN~!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

COLE

Welcome back folks! You haven't missed a bit of action since the elevator Alf and Some Guy brawled into is still making it's way up.

 

HOFF

Hey in Minny, we take it nice and easy.

 

*DING*

 

Alf and SG battle out of the elevator and onto the second level of the North Garden. They make their way into Ruby Tuesday, where Alf grabs a margarita from a waiter, then pushes him into SG. Alf drinks up, then grabs some fries from a customer and eats a few, before breaking the plate over SG's head! Alf drags him to the East wing over in front of Champs Sports, and gives him a snap suplex on the floor! Alf covers for two, then goes into the Champs Sports Store. After a couple minutes, Alf comes out with a bag, from which he pulls out a Randy Moss Raiders jersey!

 

ALF

It's about damn time they got these in.

 

HOFF

Hey, good riddance, I say. Moss caused more problems than three Drek Stones. And that's a lot of trouble.

 

CABOOSE

The only trouble he ever caused was....well you know, there isn't any.

 

Alf puts on the jersey as boos can be heard from the fans down on the first level as well as the surrounding fans. Alf stomps SG on the floor, then follows him down the hall to Subway, where he stops to observe a Subway commercial playing on the TV.

 

ALF

Wow, Jared's starting to pack a little bit of that weight back on, isn't he? I think he needs to go easy on the footlong meatballs...

 

At that point, SG checks Alf through the glass and onto the sub counter! He grabs two giant uncut pepperoni sticks.

 

SOME GUY

I'm sure this won't be a first for you!

 

SG starts pounding on Alf with the pepperoni sticks! He then pulls out the pan of lettuce and bashes Alf in the head! SG grabs Alf by the shirt and pants and slides him across the counter, sending Alf head-first into the side of the oven! SG then heads over to Old Navy with Alf, and they brawl back into the fitting rooms, where SG slams one of the doors shut on Alf's head! SG sets Alf up for a whip, but gets reversed into the blue jean rack.

 

HOFF

Now those are on sale for onlt $1299 a pair. That's a steal!

 

CABOOSE

You're still shilling?

 

HOFF

Waterslides ain't free, you know.

 

Alf then chokes SG with a pair of jeans for a while, and drags him out of the store with the jeans, down to Dairy Queen, where SG is tossed into the Blizzard machine by the jeans! Alf then busts a case of Oreo sprinkles over the head of SG! However, SG has managed to come up with the hanger from the jeans, and rams Alf in the stomach with it. SG starts choking Alf with the hanger, but Alf kicks him SQUARE IN THE NUTS~!!!!!11111 which sends him over the counter into the grill area. Alf then starts to flee the scene towards the West Market, attempting to get his wits about.

 

COLE

There have been more ball shots in this match than....um....

 

CABOOSE

Then the last pormo you watched.

 

HOFF

Nice.

 

SG makes his way out of the DQ and starts looking for Alf. SG spots five men dressed like Mickey, Donald, Goofy, Chip & Dale coming out of the Disney store and talking to little kids.

 

SOME GUY

Hey Donald, you didn't happen to see a guy come by wearing black windbreaker pants and a Randy Moss jersey, did you?

 

DONALD

*in duck voice* I think he went that way, mister!

 

Chip & Dale are posing with kids for a picture, when suddenly Dale knocks the camera from the kids' mother's hand! Chip grabs him by the arm, and DALE TURNS HEEL ON CHIP~!!!111 with a superkick!!! SG gets a weird look on his face as Dale gives Mickey an F5~!!!111 Goofy tries to contain Dale and gets kicked STRAIGHT IN THE NUTS~!!!!!11111

 

CABOOSE

I wonder who Dale is....

 

COLE

He's the happy-go-lucky member of the Rescue Rangers!

 

CABOOSE

No, I mean...in the suit...ugh!

 

HOFF

He does have a point, though.

 

SG resumes his pursuit of Alf, when suddenly he gets DDT'D by Dale~!!! Dale unmasks to reveal Alf, then gives Donald a belly-to-belly through a table! Alf puts the Dale mask on SG's head, then superkicks him, and covers for two. The combatants head up the West Market to Osterman Jewelers, where Alf gives SG a T-BONE suplex through a case of diamonds! Alf tries for a cover, but can't cover properly while SG is in the case. So Alf snatches a Twins hat from a little kid...

 

HOFF

That's improper use of a fine hat.

 

...and puts it up next to the side of the case and punches the glass out, then reaches in to cover SG!

 

1.....

 

 

 

2............

 

 

 

SG gets a shoulder up at two! Alf drags SG from the case, and makes a secure cover!

 

1...........

 

 

2..............

 

 

SG kicks out again! Alf picks up SG, drags him down the hall and tosses him into another elevator.

 

COLE

At least this one is getting up there faster.

 

*DING*

 

The elevator reaches the 3rd level of the West Market, with Alf and SG slugging it out. Alf makes his way into the Old Vine Wine & Spirits Store, and drinks a bottle of wine, then breaks the bottle over SG's head! Alf then falls down in a drunken stupor. Alf and SG lay around for a few seconds, then both come to at around the same time and slug it out on the floor of the mall. They head to Al's Farm Toys, and slug it out in front of the doorway. Alf slips trying to throw a big left hand, and SG tips over the gumball machine onto him! Gumballs fly all over the floor, as Alf tries to stand, but slips and falls down again.

 

COLE

This match has been chaotic! Alfdogg and Some Guy have torn the Mall of America apart!

 

HOFF

And it ain't over yet, Cole. These guys will kill themselves fighting for that title.

 

Alf slowly gets to his feet and staggers over to the Cereal Adventure, before falling into a giant display of Cheerios. SG follows, jumping and splashing into the Cheerio wreckage, then following up with right hands on Alf's head. SG waits for Alf to get up and charges, but Alf backdrops SG into the Fruity and Cocoa Pebbles! Alf makes his way over and tips over the Honeycomb display, but SG is able to avoid it and dropkicks Alf into the Frosted Flakes! Alf slowly gets up and makes his way out of the cereal, with SG in hot pursuit.

 

HOFF

All General Mills cereals are made with 100% whole grain, so you and your family can feel great eating them.

 

CABOOSE

Are you STILL shilling products?

 

HOFF

No...I just feel really strongly about whole grains. Bitch.

 

Alf shoves a mall attendant into SG, then makes his way to the elevator and pushes the button, but takes the stairs up instead. SG takes the elevator up when it comes back down, but Alf is waiting outside the door on the Fourth Level of the East Broadway and floors SG with a superkick as he comes out. Alf then makes his way to Hooters, where he gets his picture taken with the Hooter Girls.

 

HOFF

You know, my picture is up on that wall, with the OAOAST World Title belt no less.

 

COLE

You made it here in that four-day span?

 

HOFF

Are you kidding me? That's the first place I went!

 

SG makes his way over as Alf collects phone numbers, and the two slug it out in the bar. SG DDT's Alf on the bar! SG drags Alf to the AMC Theatres, up into the camera room. Alf is thrown into the camera, spinning it around. Alf and SG slug it out in front of the camera, which now shows their shadow slugfest on the big screen.

 

CABOOSE

Those people all owe us some money.

 

HOFF

You guys take it. I've made enough. But speaking of, no one gives you the total entertainment experience like AMC.

 

SG knocks Alf out of the camera room and down the aisles of the theatre! Alf grabs a bucket of popcorn and dumps it over SG's head, but trips over the seats on his way out. SG takes Alf back towards the elevator and the stairs, then waits for Alf to get up...and hits the SOMEKICK~!!!!!11111

 

COLE

SOMEKICK! SOMEKICK CONNECTS!!

 

HOFF

You know, speaking as the recipient of many a School's Out, I can say that guys like Some Guy and Zack, they know just how to hit you with that move. The distance to leave, the arc of the leg, the angle of impact. That's what makes them so much more devastating than, say, Alf's kick from earlier on.

 

COLE

It's nice to have a wrestling expert in here with us.

 

CABOOSE

HEY!

 

Some Guy hits Alf right in the jaw, but as he hits the move, the elevator doors open, and Alf falls inside, as the elevator takes him all the way back to the First Level!!! SG quickly takes the stairs back down, as Alf tries to flee the scene once again! SG reaches the bottom of the stairs just in time to see Alf making his way down the East hallway, towards the Mass Transit Station. Alf boards a train, and attacks the driver, dispatching from the bus! Alf lays in wait for SG to come through the halls.

 

ALF

Ladies and gentlemen, this is you new conductor, Alfdogg. I want all you assholes to make sure your seatbelts are fastened, because you're in for one hell of a ride!

 

HOFF

That light rail is such bull. It goes downtown to the Mall and that's IT. Not that there's anything wrong with downtown, but as a taxpayer, if I lived in the suburbs, I'd be mighty pissed.

 

"HOLLYWOOD" HULK HOGAN

And that's a shoot, brotha.

 

At that point, SG comes through the doors, and is startled by the squealing of tires as the train comes his way! SG quickly dodges the train and grabs on to a door, as the train travels towards Bloomingdale's! Alf stops the train to a screeching halt, then makes his way inside through Bloomingdale's and towards the LEGO factory. SG follows, but gets backdropped into the LEGO pool! Alf makes his way into the corner and grabs a bucket of LEGOs, then makes his way into the pool slowly. He waits for SG to make his way to his feet, then swings with handle in hand, bashing the bucket over SG's head!!! The LEGOs from the bucket fly everywhere and SG goes down like a ton of bricks! Alf picks up SG...and drops him with an EMERALD FUSION~!!!111 Alf then scales the LEGO ladder...but one of the steps gives out on him! Alf manages to grab the second to last step of the ladder, and hangs 13 feet in the air above the pool full of LEGOs! Alf is somehow able to pull himself up to the rafter, and finds another wall made of LEGOs. Alf puts the LEGO wall in front of him...then jumps down with a FIVE-STAR ALF SPLASH INTO THE POOL OF LEGOS ONT SG~!!!!!11111

 

 

 

 

1.....................

 

 

 

 

 

 

2.........................................

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

*DING DING DING*

 

BUFFER

The winner of the Falls Count Anywhere in the mall match...and STILL the OAOAST Heartland Champion...ALFDOOOOOOOOOOOGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!

 

Charles Robinson raises Alf's hand in the LEGO pool, then drags him out and presents him with the belt.

 

COLE

What a match!

 

HOFF

Absolutely. All the credit in the world to Some Guy, he fought hard, but tonight, Alfdogg was the better man.

 

Charles Robinson finds the repaired LEGO car and drives Alf back to the ring in the East Rotunda, and Alf pulls himself to the second rope to pose with the belt.

 

COLE

That could have been a main event in any arena in the country.

 

HOFF

Well, shopping mall anyway.

 

CABOOSE

THAT'S MAH BOY!!! Screw Shelton Benjamin, ALFDOGG can do things that no one else can!

 

COLE

And we're not done yet. Main event time, NEXT!!

 

Commerical break

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

HOFF

OH YEAH, six man tag action! Hit me with it!

 

CABOOSE

A window into your personal life here?

 

BUFFER

Lllladies and gentlemen, it is now time...for your main event of the evening!!

 

*POP!*

 

BUFFER

Scheduled for one fall, it is a six man tag team GRUDGE~! match!!

 

 

.:CUE: O-Town, "Make Her Say":.

 

In a world full of posers, phonies, and pure wannabees,

there finally emerges a group

which has come to set the record straight.

so, all you suckers better recognize, ya heard

can you say uhhh na na na na...

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

The crowd of people in the Mall Of America jeer wildly as the figures of Scotty Static and Johnny Jax swagger out through the entrance and exchange high-fives. Together, they walk a few steps down the aisle. Before stopping, both pointing back to the entrance...as Drek Stone follows out, smirking widely. More high-fives are exchanged between the three, before they begin to make their collective way to the ring.

 

BUFFER

Introducing first, team number one. At a total combined weight of six hundred, fourty two pounds. First, the two-time former OAOAST Tag Team Champions of the world... JOHNNY JAX... SCOTTY STATIC... THE GLOBAL PAAAAARRTTYYYYY EXCHAAAANNGGEEEEE!! And, their tag team partner. Hailing from Brooklyn, New York... he is "RECKLESS"... DDRRRRRREEEEEEKK... SSSSTTOOOOOONNEEEEEEEEEE!!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

HOFF

Here's a trio to warm to, eh?

 

COLE

Three very talented athletes, but three men with disrespectful attitudes. And finally, it seems people are fighting back against these three in particular. Men like you, Hoff. And men like Leon Rodez. Men who Drek and The GPX believe should be on their side.

 

HOFF

Drek's got some crazy ideas in his head, man. Same with these GPX kids.

 

Drek, Jax and Static enter the ring and turn back to the entrance intently. Except Drek, who points a finger down to the commentary position in Hoff's direction. Hoff ignores it with little more than a wry smile, as Drek eventually gives up and goes back to watching the entrance.

 

 

 

*GOOOOONG!*

 

 

"YEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!"

 

 

"GET DOWN, GET DOWN!

GET DOWN, GET DOWN!

GET DOWN, GET DOWN!

GET DOWN, GET DOWN!

GET DOWN, GET DOWN!

GET DOWN, GET DOWN!

GET DOWN, GET DOWN!

GET DOWN, GET DOWN!"

 

The crowd starts to bop their heads along to Kool And The Gang's "Jungle Boogie", as Leon Rodez purposefully bursts through the curtains and comes to an abrupt stop, with his eyes locked down at the trio in the ring.

 

BUFFER

And their opponents! First, hailing from Grand Rapids, Michigan. He weighs in at two hundred, twenty eight pounds... "SILKY SMOOTH"... LLLLEEEEEEEEOOOOOOONN... RRRROOOOOOOOODDEEEEEEZZZZZZZ!!!

 

"YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

Sticking to the stage, Rodez salutes the crowd. And waits for his partner. Whether the trio in the ring know yet who Rodez has found or not isn't clear, until Papa Roach's "Getting Away With Murder" hits, to a big pop from the crowd! Drek bugs out in the ring, kicking the ring ropes in frustration, as the golden pyro showers down around either side of the entrance (which Rodez is sure to keep his flowing robe out of the way of). Eventually, OAOAST's Savior makes his entrance, posing for the crowd.

 

BUFFER

His tag team partner...from Los Angeles, California. He weighs in tonight at one hundred and ninety five pounds. He is "THE FRANCHISE"... ZZZZAAAAAAAAAACCKK... MMMMAAAAAAALLLIIIIBBBUUUUUUUUUUUU!!

 

"YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

Zack breaks his pose and walks to the ring, with Rodez following behind.

 

COLE

Zack Malibu volunteered his services earlier tonight, to Leon Rodez. But Some Guy apparantly doesn't trust Leon and he decided he'd rather wrestle Alfdogg tonight...meaning that right now, Leon and Zack are at a three on two dis-advantage.

 

HOFF

As far as we know.

 

CABOOSE

Don't tell me you're gonna be the partner.

 

HOFF

Well, nobody's asked me. It's my night off though, so I'm happy sitting here right now.

 

As he reaches the bottom of the aisleway, Rodez comes to a stop. Zack doesn't however, instead strolling around the ring and calling for a microphone. Drek's attention is still firmly on The Franchise as The GPX stay rooted, staring down at Rodez and throwing the odd bit of abuse his way. Getting his microphone meanwhile, Zack taps it to check it's actually turned on, before getting referee Brian Hebner to back Drek up.

 

MALIBU

You'll get yours in a minute pal. Alright...as you can probably tell, the numbers aren't exactly even. Some Guy didn't want in on this match, so we need another partner. And I'll be honest when I say, as soon as Some Guy ducked out of this one, I knew who to turn to. I knew that if there was one man outside of Some Guy that had my back, it was this guy. If we needed a third partner, it had to be...you...Caboose.

 

CABOOSE

The fu...

 

The crowd pop, as Zack turns to Sofa Central.

 

MALIBU

I know you haven't got your gear on and I know you aren't prepared or warmed up for a match. But as you can tell, we need a little help here 'Boose. So Coachman...get your BUTT out here. We've got your cover. Now, we need you to cover us.

 

From the back, Johnathan Coachman jogs to the ring...as Caboose stands up from his commentary position and shrugs his shoulder, the crowd solidly behind the tweener as he removes his headset! Now, Drek really is bugging out at what he's signed himself up for, as Caboose steps away from the commentary area, shaking Zack's hand and then pointing up at Drek with threatening intent.

 

COLE

Hey Coach, the redness seems to be going down.

 

COACH

Very funny. Well, seeing as 'Boose is in action here, I figured I'd come out here and fill in for him. But then I realised Hoff was here, so I figured I'd come down and be the unimportant third man that I always am.

 

HOFF

Sounds like a good plan.

 

Rodez jogs around the ring and joins up with his partners on one side of the ring. An awkward look is exchanged between Rodez and the commentator who's been less than kind in his apprasail of him through his career. But it's settled ammicably, with a handshake. The three then enter the ring, with Hebner stepping between the two teams to make sure the match doesn't start until he's good and ready.

 

"CA - BOOSE!"

"CA - BOOSE!"

"CA - BOOSE!"

 

*DING DING DING!*

 

As the chants die down, Caboose tries to hide his smile by turning it into a sneer. Hey, tweener pride, baby! Zack is smirking now as he applauds the chants, before tapping Caboose on the shoulder and whispering something in his ear. A nod follows from the Brit, before both Zack and 'Boose exit to the apron.

 

COLE

Well, it looks like Leon is being 'elected' to start this one.

 

COACH

Zack and Caboose are probably safer that way. I mean, this is their chance to test Rodez. See if he really is in cahoots with Drek and The GPX. If he is, they're not in a position to get jumped from behind.

 

HOFF

They'll just get jumped from the front instead.

 

Across the ring, Drek looks ready to start for the opposition. But, one team conference later, and Drek graciously leaves Scotty Static to kick it off for his team. A smile forms on Rodez's face as he sees Static fire himself up in the corner. And as Static breaks from the corner, Rodez tells him to 'bring it on'. Static stops abruptly in front of Rodez. Close enough for Rodez to take a swing. Close enough for Rodez to take Static's head off. If he wanted too. Instead...Rodez smiles?

 

COLE

Aw...oh no. Damn it, it WAS a set-up!

 

Zack and Caboose can see Static smiling back now and Zack holds his head in his hands, fearing the worst, as Team Drek are laughing and applauding away. Laughing also is Leon now, as he turns to face Zack and Caboose. Some boos are building now, as Static taunts Zack and Caboose, daring them to enter the ring and fight 'four' on 'two'. But Static gets a little over-zealous, turning his back on Rodez as he teases and taunts Zack and Caboose some more...

 

 

 

...AND GETS PANTSED~!

 

"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

COACH

WHAT THE HELL!?!

 

COLE

It WAS a set-up! Rodez set-up The GPX and Drek! And this match is truly on right now!

 

HOFF

Man, this kid is great.

 

The crowd go nuts and Zack is in hysterics now, as Static waddles around the ring in shock, with his pants around his ankles and his box0rs on show for all the world to see! Rodez's smile is now as genuine as can be, as he flips off Drek and Jax! Angrily, Jax quickly enters the ring and charges at Rodez. But The Silky Smooth One sees him coming and drop toe holds Johnny, sending him crashing head-first into the exposed genitals of Scotty Static!!

 

"OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

COLE

Ooh, that doesn't look comfortable.

 

Static doubles over, as Rodez takes a couple of back-steps. He then charges, springing off of Johnny Jax's back and catching Static flush with a modified Shining Wizard!!

 

"YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!"

 

COLE

Step-up Wizard!! We saw Rodez hit that at Battlebowl on Gunner Sharps!

 

HOFF

Thanks to yours truly.

 

The force of the wizard sends Static tumbling backwards and he eventually rolls out of the ring. Johnny gets out of the ring quickly too. Watching his partners retreat, Drek thinks about coming into the ring. But as he sees Zack teasing his own entrance into the ring, Drek thinks better of it and gathers the troops. Back in the ring meanwhile, Rodez and Zack exchange a smile, with Rodez pointing to his cranium and smirking at how well the plan went.

 

On the outside meanwhile, Drek gets The GPX together and takes the courtesy of pulling Static's pants back up for him. As if The Reckless One didn't want to get his hands on Rodez before, now Drek is fuming and yells at Double J and Double S to get their heads in the game. Drek then leaps back to the apron. Between them, The GPX manage to keep themselves standing and shake off the cobwebs. Rolling into the ring, Static wastes no time in reaching up and tagging Drek in before rolling back out.

 

"RO - DEZ!"

"RO - DEZ!"

"RO - DEZ!"

"RO - DEZ!"

 

Drek ignores the chants as he enters the ring, jawing at Rodez as he strides in the centre of the ring. He's met there by Rodez and the two go nose to nose for a brief moment, before suddenly lunging into a collar-and-elbow tie-up! After a brief tussle, Drek pulls Rodez into a side headlock and drops to one knee. Rodez pulls him back up though and goes to the gut. Once, twice, three times with an elbow, before pushing out of the weakening grip and snatching on his own side headlock! Pulling a page from his opponent's book, Drek slams and elbow into the gut. Again. Drek then backs into the ropes and pushes off Rodez, knocking him down on the way back with a shoulder block. Yelling down at Rodez, Drek then hits the ropes. Over rolls Rodez, making himself an obstacle that Drek has to vault over. On runs Drek, as Rodez scrambles up, leaving his feet for extra power on a shoulder block of his own! Drek goes down and scrambles to the ropes, as Rodez flexes his muscles with a smirk.

 

COACH

SHOWIN' OFF T'GUNZZZzzzzz~!

 

HOFF

And these people came here for just one reason tonight Coach.

 

COACH

What's that?

 

COLE

TO SEE TH'GUN SHOW~!

 

HOFF

What he said.

 

Fuming, Drek pulls himself up and charges again. Thinking quickly, Rodez drops, snaring Drek with a drop toe hold. As The Reckless One's jaw bounces off the mat, Rodez tries to snare the leg. Stone rolls through though, able to catch Rodez with a boot to the gut...and then NAIL him with a forearm strike! Followed by a clubbing forearm over the back. Groaning, Rodez drops to one knee, but gets pulled up and whipped off the ropes again. Balling his fist, Drek swings...and misses wildly, as Rodez tumbles around the side with a schoolboy roll-up...

 

 

1...

 

 

2...

 

Kickout.

 

As he gets back up, Drek gets grabbed in another side-headlock by Rodez...AND GETS HIS HAIR ALL MESSED UP!!

 

"YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

Rodez releases the headlock and jigs away, watching in amusement as Drek tries to sort his hair out. Referee Brian Hebner bares the brunt of Drek's anger as he yells at him to do his job properly. But all this distracts Drek, allowing Rodez to sneak up behind and hurl Drek down with a handful of hair!! Despite being dazed, Stone snaps right back up again, as Rodez again jigs away.

 

DREK

HE HAD THE HAIR REF! HE HAD THE HA...AAAAAAAAAHH!

 

Again, Drek gets pulled down with the hair! Zack can't help but smile as he watches this from the apron, The GPX going crazy in their corner. As he gets to his feet, Drek again starts to berate Brian Hebner. Rodez is right on him though, with a jab!

 

A jab!

 

A jab!

 

 

A jab!

 

Rodez turns, blowing the kiss...

 

 

 

...but Drek recovers quickly and lunges forward, driving a knee into the kidney area of Rodez! The Chixterminator drops to his knees and clutches his back, as Drek takes the opportunity to tag out, bringing Scotty Static back into the match.

 

COLE

A desperation move, but a valuable one for Drek Stone. And now, we've got Scotty Static in...

 

HOFF

Thankfully re-pantsed.

 

Johnny Jax is quickly on his game, helping Drek to sort out his hair, while their partner puts the boots to Rodez and then whips him into the corner. Rodez hits hard, spine first, slumping back into the turnbuckles. Static is on the run meanwhile, charging down Rodez and launching into him with double knees to the sternum! Out from the corner staggers Rodez, into another whip into the opposite corner this time. Mockingly, Static asks the crowd if they want to see one more...and gets booed mercilessly. But he charges all the same, driving the double knees...INTO THE TURNBUCKLES!! Rodez moves and Static crashes into the buckles! Still on the move, Rodez then dives over and tags in Zack Malibu, to a big cheer from the fans! And, feeding off the reaction, Zack enters the ring and top speed with a BIG clothesline on Static! And another! Stumbling around, Static falls close enough to Zack for him to trip up the Global Party Exchanger, looking to capitalise on the knees...NO! Static manages to plant his feet in the gut and push Zack off. Rolling back, Static rolls on through up to his feet and tries a clothesline of his own. Which is ducked by Zack, snatching a waistlock and cradling Static over into a Bridging German Suplex...

 

 

1...

 

 

2...

 

 

 

NO! Only two!

 

It's clear that Static is dazed as he gets to his feet, Zack able to grab his arm with ease and s l o w l y wrench in an arm wringer. With the pace slowed suitably, Zack applies an armbar.

 

COLE

Smart move from Zack, slowing things down, which takes Scotty Static out of his element.

 

COACH

Well I'm sure Scotty knows how to wrestle a slower pace. He just prefers it quick. Quick and dirty. Just ask his women.

 

COLE

Hey now, I don't know about that...

 

COACH

The Coach does. The Coach knows all about The GPX and their ladies. We're tight. HOLLA~

 

Clinging onto the armbar, Zack pulls Static from his knees and to his feet. Zack then adjusts his grip so he's clinging onto just the wrist. Another twist and another arm wringer follows. Zack wrings the arm once more, this time stepping underneath and looking for the kick...but Static drops to his knees. The kick flies over his head and he lands right in position, to grab Zack's head, flipping him over with a fireman's carry. Static then dives on top, with a cover...

 

1..

 

 

That Zack is quickly out of. Static grabs an armbar quickly, but Zack simply slides behind with a hammerlock. He then chains that into a side headlock, before grabbing the arm and twisting back into the standing armbar that drops Static to one knee, in a mixture of pain and frustration. Levering on the arm, Zack backpedals a few steps and allows Caboose to slap Static over the shoulder, before slapping Zack (much more gently) to tag himself in.

 

COACH

'BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSE~!!!

 

Stepping in, Caboose takes Static's arm and gives it a wring himself and applies his own armBAR~!. Cursing under his breath, frustration is clear from Static, unable to move any closer to his corner than the centre of the ring. Still Static tries though. So Caboose wrings the arm again, levering Static down to the mat by the head and dropping a leg across the arm. Caboose holds onto the wrist and climbs back up, dropping a second leg. Up comes Caboose again, teasing a legdrop...

 

 

 

...but instead, raking the flat of his boot across Static's eyes!!

 

"YEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

 

COACH

Tweener! Tweener!

 

Static clutches his eyes and scrambles towards a neutral corner and some refuge. Following in, Caboose rocks Static with a couple of quick right hands, before whipping him out of the corner...to arm's length, before yanking him back. The force of the whip is added to as Caboose dives to the mat as he pulls back, causing Static to SOAR through the turnbuckles...

 

*CLUNK!*

 

...and shoulder first into the ringpost!! Out staggers Static, straight into an armdrag and back into another armbar. Caboose adds a knee to the side of the head and wrenches up on the arm. Just for good measure, Caboose decides to play a little mercy with Static's knuckles, bending them up towards his wrist violently. Valiantly, Static fights up to his knees. But Caboose hangs onto the armbar, while still able to reach out and let Zack tag into the ring. Quickly Zack scales the turnbuckles and comes down across Static's arm with a double axehandle smash, causing another cry of pain from the GPXer. The Franchise re-grasps the arm straight away, re-applying the armbar. But Static quickly jabs him in the gut and uses the ropes to send Zack across the ring. Bouncing back, Zack sees a back elbow coming and ducks, abruptly putting on the brakes. Around wheels Static, getting booted in the gut and has one arm hooked, then the other, before Zack takes up and over with the Butterfly Suplex! Zack follows up quickly with a pin attempt...

 

 

1...

 

 

2...

 

 

Kickout.

 

Zack grabs Static's arm almost instantly as he kicks out, wrenching it towards his head into a top wristlock. Coming to his feet, Static goes to the gut with a knee...and again. But Zack clings on defiantly to the hold and suddenly drops back, jarring Static's elbow into the canvas!

 

HOFF

Can't remember seeing that before. Hey, maybe I should steal it.

 

Static rolls around in agony, as Zack forces him onto his back, placing a knee across his chest with a makeshift cover...

 

 

1...

 

 

2...

 

 

 

Kickout again.

 

Re-applying the top wristlock, Zack pulls back on the arm with glee on his face. Static moves himself beside the rope as Zack's wrenches pauses, allowing him to grab the top rope. Quickly, Hebner is over to ask for a break. But he can't reach more than '2' before Static shows off his athletic ability, using the ropes to backflip out of the wristlock and land safely on his feet. Before showing off his cheating ability with a thumb to the eyes!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

COLE

Referee, out of position...and sure enough, Scotty Static takes advantage.

 

HOFF

Yeah. Exactly the kind of cheap move I'd expect out of him and his buddies.

 

As Zack reels away with his hand clamped over his eye socket, Static tries to shake off some of the pain in his arm. He then charges Zack from behind, using as much of his bad arm as possible with the good, to barge Zack sternum first into the Drek/GPX corner. Sneakily Drek reaches into the ring and grabs Zack's wrist, holding him into the corner. As meanwhile, Static finally gets the tag to Johnny Jax, who hurries into the ring and fires off a succession of jabs into the kidneys of The Franchise! Zack is still unable to get away as Drek clings onto his wrist, right up until Jax ends his barrage. At which point, Zack collapses out of the corner into a seated position.

 

 

*SMACK!*

 

And instantly, Jax fires off a dragon kick to the spine! Zack falls onto his back, favouring the same area, as Jax leans into the ropes and drops a knee into the sternum, straight away following with a pin...

 

 

1...

 

 

2...

 

Kickout.

 

 

Jax resiliantly tries again...

 

 

1...

 

 

2...

 

Kickout again.

 

 

Still not satisfied, Jax makes another attempt at the pin...

 

 

1...

 

 

2...

 

Kickout a third time.

 

HOFF

It might look like Johnny Jax is wasting his time with the repeated pins here, but he's making Zack expend energy with every kickout. He's not quite as dumb as he looks.

 

Pulling Zack to his feet, JJ whips him off the ropes and waits for Zack to rebound. As Zack comes back, Jax stoops low, hooking his arms under Zack and lifting him up, letting him fall to the canvas with a modified flapjack. And as Zack is falling, Jax hits the ropes, following up with a knee strike to the side of the head. Applause greets the showing from Jax. Although, only from Drek and Static, as the rest of the crowd jeer wildly. Jax doesn't care though, bowing for his two fans. The bowing ends as Zack gets back to his feet, Jax meeting him with a boot to the gut. Ducking behind Zack, Jax then goes to the kidneys with a forearm. And again. Jax then cradles up Zack and drops him on the back of his head with a dangerous back suplex!

 

"OOOOHHHHHHHH!"

 

Uncoiling, Zack seems motionless, as Jax cradles a leg and makes a pin...

 

 

1...

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

...ONLY TWO!

 

"YEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH!"

 

Looking a little frustrated, Jax tags in Scotty Static. The two time World Tag Team Champions load up Zack, Jax chopping Zack in the chest before they double-whip Zack across the ring. Zack rebounds and gets hit with a double kick to the gut. Malibu doubles over, winded. Beside him, Jax drops to one knee and cups his hands to provide his partner with a leg-up. A leg-up Static takes, getting launched up into the air, landing across Zack's back with a Backsplash!

 

COLE

Innovative double-teaming from The GPX, as we've regularly come to expect from them.

 

COACH

Fo'sho. They're not two time Tag Champs for nothing.

 

Static seems a little hurt from the move as well as Zack, but shakes it off. He pulls The Franchise back to his feet, using his good arm to whip Zack into the corner. The buckles bounce Zack out, with Static waiting with a leg lariat. Down goes Zack, as Static forces him down for a pin...

 

 

1...

 

 

2...

 

 

 

Kickout!

 

Static takes issue with the count, but is chastised by Drek who tries to get his partner's mind back on the job. Which he does, hooking a front facelock on Zack. Pulling him to his feet, Static then takes Zack over with a vertical suplex. All Caboose and Rodez can do is watch on now, occassional words of encouragement thrown Zack's way, as he gets the wind driven out of him again with a double stomp! As he bounces off of Zack, Static turns on his heels and follows it right up with a back senton! Back to his feet climbs Static again, turning away from Zack and smirking at Rodez and Caboose...

 

 

*SMACK!*

 

"OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

 

...BEFORE NONCHALANTLY THRUSTING HIS RIGHT BOOT BACK INTO ZACK'S JAW~!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

COACH

Jerk Kick! That's a Jerk Kick!

 

COLE

Because only a jerk would do it, right?

 

COACH

Exactamundo.

 

Agonising, Zack kicks his feet against the mat with his hand clasped against his jaw. The jerkish move prompts Caboose to try and come in the ring, but Hebner quickly shepherds him back to the corner. Meanwhile, Static calls Johnny Jax back in, Drek doing all the talking and none of the fighting right now. Jax and Static drag Zack back up and apply a facelock a-piece. Over go the arms...and over goes Zack, with a double suplex. Jax immediately makes a cover as Hebner turns around, instinctively making the count...

 

 

1...

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

Kickout!

 

 

HOFF

There wasn't a tag there, was there?

 

COLE

No, no. No tag was made.

 

HOFF

I didn't think so. After all, it is Drek Stone running the show, so why would they do something so stupid as follow the rules?

 

Finally, Hebner realises the wrong GPXer is in the ring. But he doesn't take any action, as Jax drags Zack to his feet and rocks him with a right hand. Followed by a second. Zack retreats into a neutral corner. But Jax is still coming at him, jabbing Zack in the jaw a couple more times before grabbing an arm and whipping The Franchise out of the corner. Jax instantly follows the former World Champion in, but Zack has other ideas as he grabs onto the top rope and uses it to launch himself up and over the charging GPXer. Unable to stop himself, Jax crashes shoulder first into the turnbuckles. Zack has landed on his feet behind by now and applies a waistlock, looking to execute a German. Wrapping his foot around Zack's, Jax is able to block the German once..twice...and a third time, before executing a standing switch. Zack isn't so lucky, as he almost instantly gets taken back and dropped dangerously with a release German! Clearly pleased with himself, Jax decides not to follow up on the move, instead waltzing over the ring and pie-facing Rodez!!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

Rodez keeps his cool and doesn't enter the ring, preventing an illegal double-team. So The GPX have to play by the rules, Jax tagging Scotty Static back into the match. As Zack slowly begins to get back to his feet, Jax is right there to meet him with a forearm. A scoop and a slam follows. Setting Zack in place, as Static vaults off of the middle rope, spinning an effortless 180 and dropping a leg across the throat of The Franchise!

 

 

 

1...

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

Just a 2 count, as Zack kicks out!!

 

"YEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!"

 

Looking slightly frustrated, Static drags Zack back down to the canvas and applies a blatant choke!

 

 

"ONE!"

 

"TWO!"

 

"THREE!"

 

"FOUR!"

 

"FI..."

 

Static breaks the choke on five, dragging Zack into a seated position as he does so. A quick elbow is dug right into the back of Malibu's neck. The knee is then dug into the spine to add to the punishment, before Static clamps his hands under Zack's neck and wrenches back.

 

COLE

Submission hold locked in.

 

HOFF

Zack isn't gonna quit from a move like this, but it'll buy Static a little time I guess.

 

 

"LET'S GO FRAN - CHISE!"

*clap clap clapclapclap*

 

COLE

The crowd rallying behind Zack here.

 

"LET'S GO FRAN - CHISE!"

*clap clap clapclapclap*

 

"LET'S GO FRAN - CHISE!"

*clap clap clapclapclap*

 

Feeding off of the support of the crowd, Zack's body starts to pulsate with adrenaline. Static shakes his head frantically as Zack rolls to the side, coming up to one knee. Zack then gets to his feet, his head turned into Scotty's body now. Firing off, Zack rocks Static's abdomen with an elbow. And a second time. A third. Static doubles over slightly, but still clings onto the sides of Zack's head. A fourth elbow finally frees Zack though, immediately turning off to try and tag...NO, Static grabs a handful of hair and YANKS Zack to the canvas!!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

The fans in the Mall Of America get on Scotty's case, as he untangles a few strands of hair from around his fingers.

 

COLE

Zack has been in this one for quite a long time now. He could really do with a tag here.

 

COACH

I'm surprised 'Boose hasn't stormed the ring yet. He's just fuming on the apron. Just dying to get into this one.

 

Having removed Zack's hair from his hands, Static goes back on the offense, with another blatant choke that Hebner is right on the case of.

 

 

"ONE!"

 

"TWO!"

 

"THREE!"

 

"FOU..."

 

Static breaks earlier this time, mainly because Caboose has entered the ring and swings a kick at him. Just avoiding the kick, Static yells at Hebner to get rid of Caboose. Which be begins to do, allowing Static to re-apply the choke on Zack, free from any sort of count!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

COLE

Caboose isn't being smart here! He should know better than this, because he's giving Scotty Static free reign to cheat right now!

 

HOFF

Well, he's angry Michael. I've been in the situation before...and you know you shouldn't try and jump in, but when the red mist descends, you do it anyway.

 

Finally, Hebner removes Caboose, turning around just as Static releases the choke and changes into a cover...

 

 

1...

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

Kickout.

 

Now Static really is getting frustrated, as he drags Zack back up. Quickly he snaps off a kick to the gut, applying a side headlock as Zack begins to double over. Static then points to the opposite side of the ring, running his thumb across his throat as he breaks into a run...only to get pushed off mid-run. Keeping his momentum going, Static manages to hit the ropes. Taking a couple of mini-steps forward, Zack crouches ever-so-slightly in preparation for Static's return. Static is able to drop down and skid through The Franchise's legs with a baseball slide however, hooking one of Zack's ankles on the way through in order to trip him up. Bouncing off the canvas, Zack gets to his hands and knees and holds his jaw in pain. Meanwhile, Static scurries to the side of Malibu. Tentatively, Static steps onto Zack's back and manages to get into a standing position on Zack, who remains on all fours. With a wry smirk, the GPXer then signals that 'it's ovaaaaahh' as he gains his balance...and springs off of Zack's back, backflipping into a shooting star pre...NO!! Zack manages to roll over as Static launches off his back, sticking up a foot that Static lands chest first on! Almost impailed on the foot of his opponent from the impact, Static crashes back a good few feet before coming to a halt, clutching his sternum as Caboose and Rodez suddenly find renewed reason to route Zack on!

 

COLE

What an amazing move that would have been...Scotty Static, looking for a tabletop SSP, from off of Zack's back! Amazing balance. Amazing agility. But all for naught, as Zack managed to counter.

 

COACH

And now, he's gotta tag out!

 

HOFF

See, that's why I don't try flippy-floppy moves like that.

 

COACH

You mean, besides the lack of athleticism?

 

HOFF

You wanna Spinebuster?

 

COACH

...nosir...

 

Rhythmical clapping fills the Mall Of America as both Zack and Static begin their crawls towards their corners. Static seems marginally closer to Drek and Johnny than Zack does to Rodez and Caboose. But the wind has clearly been knocked out of Static as he is very slow in his crawl, much to the frustration of Drek Stone. As both men close in on the tags, Hebner stands in the centre, waiting for the call...

 

 

...signalling a tag, to Drek...

 

 

 

 

...AND A TAG TO CABOOSE!!

 

"YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

COACH

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSEEE!!

 

Both men enter the ring and charge across the ring, Caboose swinging out at Drek and knocking him down with a right hand. Up comes Drek, but Caboose nails him again. Staggering up, The Reckless One takes a third right hand, enough to make him sensibly stay down this time. Drek begs off from Derby's finest as he balls up his fist for another shot. Allowing Johnny Jax to sneak into the ring and ambush Caboose from behind! Caboose drops to his knees, as Jax pulls him up and attempts an irish whip, only to have it reversed. Keeping one eye on Drek, Caboose sidesteps Jax as he rebounds, hooking on a waistlock and charging Jax...INTO DREK!! Jax and Drek clock heads. The result is Drek tumbling out of the ring, while Caboose pulls Jax back into a rolling pin...

 

 

1...

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

NO!

 

As Jax kicks out, Caboose runs on into the ropes. But by the time he does, Drek has recovered and snares a leg, tripping up Caboose from the outside!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

HOFF

Jes - us.

 

Drek strolls away innocently, leaving Hebner looking quite the tool as he obviously can't call what he doesn't see, no matter how blatantly obvious it seems. Picking himself up meanwhile, Caboose is caught with a boot to the gut and taken over with a forceful vertical suplex. Popping right up, Jax then hits the ropes, driving all of his weight down into Caboose with a big splash, snaring a leg...

 

 

1...

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

Shoulder up.

 

To his feet once more, Jax makes the legal tag to Drek Stone, as Static and Zack are recovering out on the floor beside their respective corners. Stepping in, Drek is almost as fresh as Caboose. And easily sweeps down Caboose with an STO. The back of Caboose's head bounces violently off the mat, dazing him long enough for Drek to scale the turnbuckles, getting to the top rope.

 

 

"DREK STONE SUCKS!"

"DREK STONE SUCKS!"

"DREK STONE SUCKS!"

 

The chants do little to bother The Reckless One. Indeed, he beckons on some more boos as he stands on the top, before leaping off with a single axehandle blo...NO! Caboose catches him on the way down, burying a fist into the gut of Drek. As he lands, Drek does a Million $ Flip off the gut punch, landing on his back and writhing in pain. Which gives Caboose time to rush across the ring, barging Johnny Jax with enough force to knock him off the apron, crashing into Static on the floor! The GPX sprawl as one to the arena floor. Meanwhile, Caboose turns around, ducking a clothesline from the recovered Stone. Both men turn on their heels, Drek the quicker as he hooks 'Boose under the head, ready for the Side Effect. But Caboose is able to fire off a series of elbows to break free, sending Drek spinning off. Before he spins back, getting jacked up for the Emerald Fus...NO, Drek escapes down the back, hooking up Caboose and hitting a high angled back suplex!! The force sends Caboose rolling through. But unluckily for Drek, it's too close to Leon Rodez...

 

 

 

...WHO TAGS HIMSELF IN!!

 

"YEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

HOFF

Here we go!

 

In comes The Silky Smooth One, vaulting over the top rope and ambushing Drek with right hands! Drek starts to throw some back though! And before long, the two are exchanging right hands in stereo, each punch connecting in unison with an opposition punch, leaving both men reeling after a good 8 or 9 a-piece!! Recovering his bearings first is Drek, charging in with momentum on another punch. However, Rodez ducks underneath, remaining where he is until Drek charges him from behind...

 

 

*SMACK!*

 

...at which point he leaps back, connecting with a beautiful leg lariat!! Drek sits up as he lands, but groggily slumps right back down, as Rodez dives on top with a lateral press...

 

 

1...

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

...ONLY TWO!!

 

Out on the floor, as this is going on, Zack Malibu has now rounded on Static and Jax, brawling away with the both of them in the aisleway. Caboose is just now getting over to help out The Franchise...

 

 

...as back in the ring, Rodez has Drek in a fireman's carry, at least for a second, before Drek slides behind. Reaching through, Drek locks in a half nelson. Before turning that into a full nelson, setting Rodez up for The Recker! Struggling, fighting, Rodez tries desperatly to snatch himself out of the full nelson. Drek suddenly pops the hips, but Rodez manages to tuck his ankle behind Drek's just in time to block the move. Thinking quickly, Rodez then drops down and sits out, freeing himself from the full nelson. He then rolls back and locks on a body scissors, basically putting himself in a wheelbarrow position. Before Drek can make use of that, Rodez then pushes up onto his hands, before rolling through, his momentum sending Drek stumbling forward and falling throat first across the middle rope!

 

COLE

Uh oh! Drek doesn't want to be there!

 

Stumbling up, Rodez doesn't even bother to do 'the dance', instead just running into the ropes, sprinting back at Drek and driving all of his weight into the lower back region of the New Yorker!!

 

COACH

CALL THAT BITCH BOJANGLES, YO~!

 

COLE

A danceless version! Rodez is completely focused right now!

 

As Drek staggers back off the ropes, Rodez just CLUBS him in the spine, repeatedly with overhands, before turning Drek around. A boot double over Drek, allowing Rodez to snare first the left arm, then the right. Sensing something bad coming, Drek instinctively wraps his far leg around the nearby middle rope to prevent the move and force a break of the double underhook. Graciously, Leon gives the break. Before not-so-graciously smashing Drek in the jaw with a quick kneelift! Drek's head snaps back and he comes off his feet for a split second, enough to feel the effects of the middle rope crotching him!! The Reckless One's eyes light up straight away, as he bounces off the middle rope clutching his nether regions.

 

HOFF

Man, Drek's gonna be singing Soprano in the morning.

 

COLE

Indeed! That wa...

 

HOFF

Get it? Drek? Soprano? Anything...no?

 

Hopping around as if he has a rod up his ass, Drek is in no position or condition to block a jab!

 

A jab!

 

 

A jab!

 

 

 

A jab!

 

 

Rodez turns, blowing the kiss, before turning back on his heels...

 

 

 

*SMACK!*

 

 

...and nailing Drek upside the head with the enziguri!

 

"YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

COACH

MAMA SAID KNOCK YOU OUT!

 

COLE

And I think Leon just did...knock...Drek out.

 

Drek flops to the mat with glazed eyes, seemingly ripe for the picking. Rather than go for the cover however, Rodez reaches down and grabs hold of The Reckless One by the arm and leg, dragging him out of the centre of the ring and towards the turnbuckles! The crowd cheer, sensing a 450 on the way. And that's exactly what Rodez intends to give the people, as he exits the ring and climbs slowly and deliberately towards the top rope. Down to his side, the GPX/Caboose and Zack brawl continues. Infact, right underneath him. Which seems to be distracting Rodez as he climbs up, reaching the top just as Drek groggily stumbles towards him...and eats a faceful of boot! Away staggers Drek, well out of Rodez's diving range. So Rodez re-adjusts himself up top, turning away...

 

 

...towards the outside...

 

 

 

 

 

...AND DIVING OUT FROM THE TOP, WITH A CROSSBODY INTO THE FOURSOME ON THE FLOOR!!!!

 

"YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

COLE

What a dive!!

 

HOFF

Yeah, but Rodez took out his partners as well as his opponents on that one.

 

 

"RO - DEZ!"

"RO - DEZ!"

"RO - DEZ!"

"RO - DEZ!"

 

The crowd don't seem to care who was on the recieving end. They just 'mark teh fuq out' for the daredevil move. Picking himself up from the pile of bodies, Rodez rolls back into the ring and re-focuses his attentions on Drek Stone. He sets, charging at Drek...who has recovered, springing off his heels as Rodez approaches, catching him in the BUTT of the jaw with a standing dropkick! Grabbing Rodez, Drek cradles him tightly and makes a quick pin...

 

 

1...

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

Kickout!

 

Drek slaps the mat in frustration before climbing back to his feet, pulling Rodez up with him. Firing off a couple of quick forearms, Drek then hooks Rodez behind the head, charging with him in tow and hurling him head-first into the top turnbuckle! As he slumps into the turnbuckle, Rodez weakly fires out his leg with a desperate kick. Drek avoids it though, driving in a knee to the gut before lifting Rodez up into a seated position on the top turnbuckle. Firing up with a palm strike, Drek then backs off a step, before climbing the ropes in front of Rodez.

 

COLE

High-risk coming up here.

 

HOFF

Drek's got something big in mind to try and finish this kid off.

 

Reaching the middle rope, Drek applies a front facelock, before placing his right foot carefully on the top rope. Still the fight wages on out on the floor, while Drek precariously balances himself, trying to get a footing for his left. Suddenly though, he gets rocked with a forearm to the gut. And a second. A third and Drek almost falls off the ropes, managing to land back on the middle rope. Drek quickly reaches up as he gets himself safe, grabbing a handful of face and RAKING the eyes of Rodez!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

Drek has the time to now try again, hooking on the front facelock. But suddenly, from behind, Zack is in the ring! But, so is Johnny Jax. Caboose and Static remain grappling out on the mall floor, as Zack prevents Johnny Jax from getting away, looking for a back suplex. Jax vaults up and over, landing on his feet, quickly applying a full nelson on Malibu. But a vicious back headbutt from Zack breaks the full nelson.

 

Drek is once more battling up top with Rodez now...

 

 

...as Jax shakes off the cobwebs, just in time to see Zack roaring towards him...and DUCKING the elbow! Zack spins a full 360 and seems a sitting target, as Jax charges with a clothesline. But Zack ducks, Jax only just stopping himself in front of Drek. Quickly he turns, just in time too, as Zack shoots forward and brings his leg up with a Yakuza Kick...

 

 

 

...which Jax ducks...

 

 

 

*SMACK!*

 

 

 

...AND HITS DREK SQUARE IN THE KIDNEYS!!!

 

"YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

COLE

Oh my!

 

HOFF

That wasn't what Zack went for, but it'll more than do.

 

Drek clings onto the top rope desperatly, trying not to fall despite the pain in his low back. Behind him, Zack turns away to go for Jax again, who has retreated across the ring. As far as he can go. But still not far enough, as Zack hooks him with a clothesline, taking both himself and opponent over the top rope and crashing to the floor!

 

 

Leaving Rodez and Drek, the legal men, alone in the ring again. And leaving Drek hanging, wide open for a straight kick to the sternum that knocks his grip loose and causes Drek to crash off the ropes, landing side-on to the turnbuckles! Some of the crowd pop, knowing what's coming next, as Rodez quickly gains his feet on the top rope, flipping off...

 

 

 

*WHAM!*

 

...and NAILING the Because The Lady Loves!!

 

"YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

COLE

HE HIT IT!

 

HOFF

COUNT IT BRI'!

 

 

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

3!!!!!

 

"YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

*DINGDING DING!*

 

The crowd in the Mall Of America go nuts, as Rodez rolls off of Drek and punches the air. Hebner quickly raises Rodez's arm in victory as the fights on the outside peeter out, allowing Zack and Caboose to roll back into the ring to join the celebrations.

 

BUFFER

Your winners of this match...the team of CABOOSE! ZACK MALIBU! AND LLLEEEOONN RROOODDEEZZZ!!!

 

"YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

Zack and Caboose high-five as from the outside, Scotty Static reaches in and drags Drek from the ring to the floor. The celebration in the ring is all the winded Drek can focus on as he's dragged out, staring a hole through the bodies of the three winners, as they salute the fans.

 

COLE

What a big, big win for Leon Rodez! The biggest win since losing the X-Division Championship a few months ago and maybe more, scoring a pinfall victory over a former World Champion.

 

COACH

I bet Some Guy feels dumb for not trusting him now.

 

As Johnny Jax staggers over, Drek is helped to the back/kept from running back in by The GPX. As back in the ring, Zack extends a hand to former rival Rodez, shook in response by The Silky Smooth One. Caboose decides a pat on the back will suffice before turning back to Zack and raising his arm in the air, in a show of Original solidarity.

 

HOFF

Everyone has a bogey opponent. That one guy that no matter how good you are or how much on form you are, always seems to know how to beat you. And it's pretty clear that Leon Rodez is Drek Stone's bogey opponent. No wonder he wants him on his team so much.

 

COLE

A big win for Leon Rodez, a measure of revenge gained for Zack...and a great way to end tonight's HeldDOWN~! The Originals, +1, on top! Goodnight everyone.

 

HOFF

Peace.

 

Fade to black...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Written by:

 

Alfdogg

Ed Wood Caulfield

Hoff

King Cucaracha

KingPK

Masked Man of Mystery

Phoenix Fury Legdrop

Tony149

Zack Malibu

 

Copyright 2005 OAOAST Entertainment. All rights are reseved, Callahan! (Oh yeah, what about the rights of that little girl?)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Sign in to follow this  

×