Guest Report post Posted May 21, 2002 The SmarK RAW Rant – May 20 2002 - You’ll forgive me for not rushing to my computer to recap this week’s show. - Quick point I wanted to address in response the Judgment Day rant, because it’s an interesting if completely wrong one. Basically a reader asked why repeating spots from previous HIAC matches detracted from the rating, when normally I would give points for paying attention to history. First of all, it didn’t really detract from the rating, it was just something that annoyed me. Second, it would be impressive if repeating those spots (Civilian injury necessitates opening cage, barbed wire 2x4) led to some sort of demonstration that they meant anything. For instance, did HHH LEARN anything from the barbed-wire 2x4 in his match with Mick Foley? No, he simply did the exact same thing as in that match, except with him playing Foley. He threw it up onto the cage, and Jericho used it against him. There’s no payoff for attentive fans there, it’s just like when the writers have the guys make a pop culture reference in an interview – okay, you saw Ally McBeal, so what? If you’re just gonna root through the garbage of the previous 25 years of wrestling searching for spots, then you might as well just repeat Flair-Steamboat move-for-move every night because I guarantee that’s a better match than anything else you’re gonna find in the archives. But even if they did that, it wouldn’t be as great a match, because it wouldn’t be Flair v. Steamboat, it’d be HHH v. Jericho doing Flair v. Steamboat. Much like HIAC wasn’t HHH v. Foley, it was HHH v. Jericho doing HHH v. Foley. Except that the dynamic was totally screwed up because there was no point when HHH was in any serious danger of losing the match. Now if Jericho had moonsaulted off the cell and put him through the table, THEN maybe we can talk. Outside of that, there’s not really much more you can do with the gimmick that hasn’t been done, short of bigger bumps from higher places. The key to putting on a great match is to make your OWN great match, so that other people can copy you in the future, and not the other way around. His other argument was that it was different because they used a ladder, but I’ll just let that one slide because otherwise we’ll be here all day. - Live from Memphis, TN - Your hosts are JR & King - Rob Van Dam comes out for indeterminate reasons, but Undertaker attacks him on the ramp and beats him up for a good while, and then cuts a promo. He’s upset because he should have the opening slot, and really he has nothing else of note to say. Hulkamania is dead. Well, duh. Everyone will respect him. Blah blah blah, and finally Rob crawls back into the ring for more punishment, but makes a superman comeback and manages to hit a frog splash on Taker before the refs drag him off. Whew, good thing all those refs were there to prevent us from watching wrestling during the show. - Meanwhile, UT is upset and wants a match with RVD TONIGHT. Flair agrees and makes it a title match. UT seems less than thrilled. - The Hardy Boyz v. Big Show & X-Pac. X-Pac starts with Stick Boy, and Jeff gets a headscissors. Double-team on X-Pac gets two. Matt gets a lariat, but Booker trips him up and the nWo hammer on him. Show gets a powerslam and he pounds away. Broncobuster is reversed to a powerbomb. Hot tag Jeff, and it’s the usual. Show clotheslines him both, but Booker botches his interference. Goldust runs in, dressed as Elvis, and Jeff rolls X-Pac up for the pin at 4:24. Booker is a guy desperately in search of character motivation and I have no guess what it is at this point. Match was okay. * - Meanwhile, Paul Heyman does his hetero impersonation and creeps out Trish. - Meanwhile, the nWo argues over who should be the leader. My god, where’s Stevie Ray to lead the B-Team when you need him? Booker somehow feels that a match with the Hardy Boyz would be a good start to asserting his leadership. Okay then. - Women’s title: Trish v. Jackie. They get all up in each other’s area to start. Jackie slams her and works the arm. Kawada kick misses and Trish nearly drills herself into the mat as a result. You just keep throwing those kicks, Trish, and you’ll be okay in my books. Jackie legsweeps her on the backswing and gets two. Trish slugs back and gets a suplex for two. Lariat gets two, and the shitty WWF-style bulldog gets the pin at 2:28. I can’t believe I’m about to type this, but they really should have given this match more time. I feel so…dirty. * Paul Heyman and Brockberg come out to continue the harassment, with the deal this time being that Trish either accepts a date with Paul or gets beaten up. Paul stresses that Brock “likes it rough”. Well, I guess he’d know. Luckily, Bubba Rhodes runs in to prevent anything from happening, but by GAWD you know this situation is far from over. - Tommy Dreamer eats sick shit: Part 2. SMELL THE RATINGS! - European title: William Regal v. Bubba Ray Dudley. You know, if Bubba really wants to channel Stardust, he needs to find someone with a lame submission finisher and then have it applied to him for 10 minutes while he lays there bleeding. It’s time the Iron Claw was recycled anyway – can you imagine Brock Lesnar squeezing some poor guy’s head like that? And no one ever got a concussion taking a particularly brutal Iron Claw. Regal knocks Bubba down for two, but gets backdropped. Bubba drops the Boogie-Woogie Elbow for two. He goes for Molly, but Regal knees him down. They collide for the double-KO and Bubba does his Dusty bit and gets a sideslam for two. Bubba, get the table, bookers, get the run-in. Heeeeeeeere’s Brock at 2:42. Match was dead. ½* - Ric & Arn come out to address the Austin situation. Apparently, Flair wasn’t the legal man in the tag match at the PPV, as though anyone has cared about that since 1985. Austin comes out for some verbage, so Flair hides behind AA. Flair admits that his “against all odds” plan to foil Austin (all two weeks of it) didn’t work, so Flair decides to “bench him” and thus take him out of the ring. Austin attacks and hands out stunners like candy. Poor Flair. - Booker T & Goldust v. The Hardy Boyz. Are we so short of talent that the Hardyz have to wrestle twice on a roster so big that they had to split into two shows? I mean, why not use some combination of Justin Credible, Steven Richards, D’Lo Brown, Tommy Dreamer or any of the other dozen guys doing nothing? I know, I know, the point was that Booker wanted to do what the other nWo guys couldn’t, but that’s a retarded point and there’s so much better ways to use everyone involved. Raven is doing color commentary, by the way, and he DESTROYS Lawler, pointing out that Jerry knows nothing about calling wrestling anymore, and all he talks about are puppies. And even then he can’t know much about women, because his wife left him. Oh, TAG. Book nails Matt with a sidekick, and Goldust misses a charge. Matt fights both off, but X-Pac nails Goldust and Matt gets the pin at 1:03. Yeah, whatever. DUD - Meanwhile, the Flair segment has now led to Steve & Debra taking their act to a local karaoke bar for some drinking. - We return with the nWo still in the ring squabbling. Kevin Nash returns to right the ship. Well, Booker could certainly use the hair-care tips. Goldust backs off, and Nash bitches the lot of them out. He reminds them that they’re a bunch of pathetic losers who will never get over. No, really. I love shoot comments that aren’t supposed to be shoot comments. However, the Power of the Hair unites them, as it’s one for all and all for Pantene Pro-V or something. Booker joins the group for real. If this is building to a babyface run, they’re sure taking their sweet time about it. - Meanwhile, back at the bar, Eddy Guerrero has mysteriously appeared and puts the moves on Debra. Why would the WWF let a recovering alcoholic and drug addict hang out at a bar on the night of a TV show? I mean, seriously, in storyline terms, did the guy just happen to have the night off or something? - Back at ringside, Raven continues insulting Jerry Lawler. Oh, great, our yearly Lawler match. - Back to the bar, as Debra wants some singing from her hubbie, but that dastardly Eddy Guerrero cuts in and sings something that’s apparently really badly done (although the audio is pretty bad so I can’t tell what he was supposed to be singing anyway). Totally useless segment. - Jerry Lawler v. Raven. Raven gets a slam and drops some elbows. Clothesline and he chokes away and dumps him. Back in, Lawler pulls down the strap. If a 55-year old pervert started disrobing and I was wearing a skirt, I’d run for my life, too. He hammers away and rams Raven into all four corners, but that’s enough for our slacker buddy and he takes a walk at 3:08. I have no idea what the point of that was. ¼* - Meanwhile, back at the bar, the skit is still going. Austin sings. You know, I was going to have dinner at the Jimmy Buffet while in Vegas, but I couldn’t find it. I guess all they serve is Margaritas anyway. He switches to some country music (way to real in that fading teenage demo, guys) while Eddy seethes at a nearby table, albeit seething with two hot chicks beside him. Eddy’s the man. Austin gives him static, but then turns his back and gets a beer bottle upside the head. So we’ve had SIX segments totalling close to half an hour, all leading to Eddy breaking a damn beer bottle on Austin’s head? Let’s look at this, shall we? One segment to set up Ric Flair going to the ring, one segment where Flair “benches” Austin, one segment where Austin shows up at a bar, one segment where Eddy is also at that same bar, one segment where Eddy sings, and then one segment where Austin also sings and the payoff occurs. They couldn’t do this in TWO MINUTES back at the arena? Austin: “Blah blah blah” Debra: “I love my husband.” Eddy: “Hey, mommy, feel my Latino Heat”. Austin: “You no-good son of a bitch!” Eddy: “Kiss my ass!” (breaks nearby beer bottle over Austin’s head). There you go, one segment, less than 5 minutes, same net effect. 10 points for effort in pushing someone new, minus several million for style. - WWF title: Undertaker v. Rob Van Dam. Rob attacks with a pescado and they brawl into the ring. He crotches Undertaker and gets a missile dropkick for two. Heel kick gets two. Taker gets dumped and guillotined, and they head in, where Taker gets a lariat to turn the tide. Last Ride is blocked for two. Big boot stops that momentum and Taker pulls a turnbuckle off and starts working on the cut-up forehead. He pounds him in the corner, but RVD blocks the chokeslam attempt and Taker misses an elbow. Rob gets 3 seated dropkicks and slugs away. Taker returns fire, but Rob hits a high kick and Rolling Thunder…for the pin? Ho ho, silly children, it’s a Dusty Finish, as Ric Flair comes out to reverse the ruling, because titles in the WWF don’t change hands with feet on the ropes. Sure, you can have 18 people running in, chairs used, referees beaten up like 25-cent hookers and senior citizens competing for the title, but allowing a pin with the foot on the ropes? Why, that would just tarnish the good name of the belt! And indeed the match continues, and a mere 5 seconds later Undertaker finishes with the Last Ride at 6:30 to make RVD look like a total loser. He’ll be needing prosthetic shins after getting cut off at the knees like that. ½* The Bottom Line: 3.7. That’s what this show did. THREE POINT SEVEN. The night after a PPV, with the Respected Locker Room Leader in the main event and Steve Austin all over the show singing and drinking, and the rating actually goes down a few notches. Gee, you think 2-minute matches and false finishes might be turning people off? Nah, it must be Jericho’s fault. I have nothing more to say that can indict this non-effort more than that rating can. Next week: The LIVE RAW and Smackdown Rant, as I’m front and center for the shows in Edmonton and Calgary! Assuming they haven’t been cancelled by then. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Report post Posted May 21, 2002 Like it or Hate it Scott Keith makes a hell of a lot of sense Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest notJames Report post Posted May 22, 2002 Whether you agree or disagree with him, he always makes ihis rants an interesting and provocative read. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Report post Posted May 22, 2002 He is soo right... its scary :I Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Report post Posted May 22, 2002 Damn it was Jericho who was behind the ratings plumeting its just got to be it couldn't be that Taker sucks or that Hogan is over but can't Draw it must be Jericho. Fucking WWE why didn't they blame Hogan his run caused some of the lowest Ratings since 1998. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest RetroRob215 Report post Posted May 22, 2002 I think he is way too pesimistic. Monday night's Raw was the best they have had in months. The show was watchable all around. The angles were a little bit different and RVD became a top tier wrestler. Not once did Scott even mention that this was the best Raw in weeks or months. Instead he dwells on the fact that it got a 3.7 rating. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Kahran Ramsus Report post Posted May 22, 2002 Not once did Scott even mention that this was the best Raw in weeks or months. That's because he didn't think it was. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Report post Posted May 22, 2002 Hey Fear Havoc, where did you get your signature from? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest RetroRob215 Report post Posted May 22, 2002 I wonder which Raw he considers to be the best since the split. Someone should ask him. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest RetroRob215 Report post Posted May 22, 2002 It's from Bret Hart's website. I'm pretty sure it was used as an advertisement in WWF magazine during the Hart Foundation era in 1997. Or to hype a match at either Canadian Stampede, or SummerSlam. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Report post Posted May 22, 2002 Hey Fear Havoc, where did you get your signature from? This is the actual site I got it from http://www.brethart.co.uk/ Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest dreamer420 Report post Posted May 22, 2002 His rants suck now. Before they used to be funny and informative. Now he comes off as bitter whiny little bitch-boy who doesn't have one good thing to say. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest goodhelmet Report post Posted May 22, 2002 Sorry, whether he's a whiny bitch or not, he's right. The show was pitiful. I think people like the possibilities set forth by the show than the actual show itself. The Eddy-Austin feud is intriguing but the skits setting up the feud were drawn-out and horrendous. The BookerT-NWO love story is pitiful. Turn Booker face, cut your losses with the losers and move on. RVD getting beat by Taker again is not the way you set your company on the right track. Job out the future to make the past look good. Stupid, stupid, stupid. And the wrestling was nonexistent. Where the hell are the *** and **** matches that the WWF was turning out on tv??? The main was ok when RVD was on offense. When Taker took over, it slowed to a crawl. I don't always agree with SK but he is dead-on in his assessment of the show. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Report post Posted May 22, 2002 Eh... I'm just happy for the step they took. The wrestling blew ass... but if its the step in the right direction I will suffer for now. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Kinetic Report post Posted May 22, 2002 Personally, I thought he was a little overly critical of the show. While it definitely wasn't great, it was certainly a step up from the last few weeks and gave the first indication in quite awhile that RAW is moving in the right direction. And I understand how people might be upset with the Dusty Finish and everything, but at least give them credit for trying something new in the main event. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest goodhelmet Report post Posted May 22, 2002 the matchup may be new (even though it wasn't) but the result is the same= old, over the hill biker beats up on the future. If RVD comes out of this champ then rock on, but my gut tells me it will be another HHH title run to bore us to tears. And like I said, the possibilities excite us but the actual show sucked balls. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Human Fly Report post Posted May 22, 2002 I'll take a bad skit to set up a good feud any day. The wrestling wasn't great, but if it sets up an RVD main event slot, and the NWO on the road to decency again I'm all for that too. I'm all for Booker as a face as well, but I don't mind the slow build (hoping they are in fact building) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Report post Posted May 22, 2002 I think everyone wants everything to happen right now. However, that may not be the best for longer term when you think about it. Sure RVD winning the title would have been fun for a little, but then you snap back in reality and realize that the guy isn't exactly ready to have the title and carry the federation.. uh.. entertainment. They need to build him up little by little instead of throwing the title on him Hogan style. I mean, the guy just got done losing against Guerrero for the IC, and hasn't been doing anything exactly spectacular lately thanks to the depush. If there is more of a build up, he'll have a better fan base, instead of just a reaction like, Oh... here's that guy we used to love and cheer for nonstop. I think that's how most of the fans out there feel now. The dusty finish, even though dissappointing, in my view gave him a nice little push to start off with again. My reasoning is that he looks like more of a threat, and the fans are pissed of or feel screwed even though Taker's foot was on the rope. So, my point of this rant was the basic 'Rome wasn't built in a day' kind of thing. But, if the writers decide to screw this up, then we shall be pissed. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest pinnacleofallthingsmanly Report post Posted May 22, 2002 http://www.brethart.co.uk/pic16.html Who's that chick? http://www.brethart.co.uk/pic4.html Damn Bret! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest dreamer420 Report post Posted May 22, 2002 I don't know who that chick is but she put a pretty big smile on Bret's face. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Report post Posted May 22, 2002 However much someone liked the show, SK's point is simple: 3.7 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest caboose Report post Posted May 22, 2002 I don't know who that chick is but she put a pretty big smile on Bret's face. I'm sure the smile was not the only thing of Bret's that got bigger in that picture. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest AM The Kid Report post Posted May 22, 2002 I believe thats a Canadian model...just a posed picture, not a "thing". Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest RetroRob215 Report post Posted May 22, 2002 However much someone liked the show, SK's point is simple: 3.7 And what's your point? Canadian Stampede, one of the greatest PPV's of all-time only scored a .59 buyrate. Should we disregard the greatness of that show too because not very many people watched it? I'm not saying Raw was better than Canadian Stampede, but it was the most entertaining episode since the split. If anyone wants to dispute that, why not bring up which post-split Raw was your favorite? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Report post Posted May 22, 2002 I'm not saying Raw was better than Canadian Stampede, but it was the most entertaining episode since the split. In your opinion. In SK's opinion, it was not. He uses the rating as plausible evidence to back up his thoughts. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest RickyChosyu Report post Posted May 22, 2002 And what's your point? Canadian Stampede, one of the greatest PPV's of all-time only scored a .59 buyrate. Should we disregard the greatness of that show too because not very many people watched it? I'm not saying Raw was better than Canadian Stampede, but it was the most entertaining episode since the split. If anyone wants to dispute that, why not bring up which post-split Raw was your favorite? "Best raw since the split" doesn't exactly say much. Monday's show was mediocre at best, as cliched as that probably sounds. The nWo has direction, but they look more like b-teamers everyday and more Nash = bad no matter how you look at it. Booker doesn't have any connection at all right now, as he went from comedy wrestler to b-teamer to loyal member for no reason. RVD's "elevation" was the antithesis to making new stars. He jobbed in the opener on Sunday, but he's supposed to be a threat Monday? Where does that logic come from? The phantom title win has been done before and was so predictable here that it just made RVD look worse, especially because of how quickly he went down afterwards. It was almost as if the writers were shouting at us "and THAT'S the closest he's ever going to get, SUCKAS!!!" and so on. Hell, does no one think Keith has a point about the amount of segments going into the Austin/Eddy angle? I mean, seriously, how much time do they have to waste on segments that are killing ratings anyway? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest dreamer420 Report post Posted May 23, 2002 I believe thats a Canadian model...just a posed picture, not a "thing". huh? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest LaParkaMarka Report post Posted May 23, 2002 Right on, candie45. Raw was definately a step forward, especially for the uber-lame Raw brand. I'd rather have them rebuild RVD and give him the title at a big ppv match then have the Taker job out to RVD on a free show. And IMO the match did build up RVD...the guy did beat up Taker. And pinned him. Geez, everyone has been whining about the lack of an RVD push, and then he gets a push and people whine because they want WWE to blow their load on Raw and give him the title? Hmm...would everyone have rather had RVD lose a hard fought match clean? Maybe look as if he has the match won but then loses due to interference? What would have been a satisfactory ending? (other than RVD winning the title, of course) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest RetroRob215 Report post Posted May 23, 2002 I believe thats a Canadian model...just a posed picture, not a "thing". huh? I think he means they aren't "involved". Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
