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Chuck Woolery

Calvin Promo #1

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The show opens with a shot of Calvin Szechstein's office, where he casualy looks up the screen, a smile on his face.

 

CALVIN

Why, hello there.

 

A small but noticeable portion of the crowd gives it up for Calvin, and Calvin points in their general direction before continuing.

 

CALVIN

I know that many of you will be disappointed that we're not opening with our typical fireworks show tonight, but as the General Manager I have decided that opening every heldDown with the exact same fireworks show was getting a bit... well, a bit redundant. However, I have hit upon a new idea. Given the OAOAST's close partnership with several record companies, we will be bringing in a different artist every week to open the show with a song of their choosing. We call this, "Calvin Szechstein's Fall Concert Series", and I hope you enjoy it.

 

Calvin smiles as the crowd pops, but as the noise dies down he continues speaking.

 

CALVIN

Now, I didn't get here early tonight just to address that. You see, recently heldDown has become rather... stale. All of the big matches appear on pay-per-view, and to our fans who pay good money for heldDown tickets, it's just fair. So next week, Calvin Szechstein and EIGHT OAOAST Superstars are going to give back to our loyal heldDown viewership!

 

The crowd pops again, being the lovable sheep that they are.

 

CALVIN

Next week, it will be the Sk8er Boiz...

 

Mild pop.

 

CALVIN

The Global Party Exchange...

 

Mild jeers.

 

CALVIN

Dan Black and Tony Brannigan, Black T, and -- and this is a stroke of genius -- Leon Rodez and Zack Malibu!

 

Cheers!

 

CALVIN

And in the ring they will be joined by some tables, some ladders, and some chairs... and the OAOAST TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS!

 

And the pop is DEAFENING.

 

CALVIN

Next week, Calvin Szechstein, Home Depot, and the OAOAST present TLC! But for right now, stand up and give it up for Mike Jones and the Ying Yang Twins, here to sing our national anthem!

 

Mike Jones and the Ying Yang Twins come out and rock out "Badd", the logo flashes across the screen, and heldDown is underway!

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