Jean claude van damme's classic

[Guest Shaved Bear]

now i have a question, and this is serious, is this movie meant as a parody of action movies that is just flat-out brilliant, or is it an action movie that is meant to be serious and just comes up being really really dumb...

 

for those who dont know the plot

JCVD and Rob Schnieder are jeans designers that operate out of Hong Kong.  But terrorists have put...nanobombs...into counterfiet forms of their jeans... now is this serious or not, i honestly don't know

[Guest razazteca]

well I find it hard to believe that Rob Schneider was a CIA agent in the movie.

 

Jean Claude Van Dam in a movie that does not involve a karate tourny, has always been lame.

[Guest Choken One]

Sadly, The movie was "Serious". I remember Schneider playing it off as his biggest movie of career on Leno ( a act he plays every time he does something) and it generally funny but Van Damme played it off as a Serious action flick. Seriously, has Van Damme made anything decent since Timecop? Of course, Bloodsport is the unanimous late night action flick. i could watch it everyday.

[Guest Shaved Bear]

seriously, i find that movie unnier than anything ever done, i seriosuly find it the funniest movie ever (barring the south park movie, of course) it seems like 4 hours of movie are missing

[Guest razazteca]

well I think it was an attempt to make an action movie the Jackie Chan way.  The rictshaw race was suppose to be a comedy bit, with the shoes falling apart.  And the pretend fight between Van Dam and his friend at the hideout.  But it was a weak attempt at comedy with Rob Schneider being the sidekick funny guy.

 

Jackie Chan and Jet Li are better at the Action Comedy Martial Art movie genre.

[Guest J*ingus]

I liked KnockOff, it was so damn goofy, and liked its sister movie Double Team even better.  A combination between great action and laughably Ed Wood-level bad plot, acting, and dialogue makes for an entertaining time for me.

[Guest Shaved Bear]

as for bad dialogue from knock-off, i give you this selection...

 

JCVD - you had Eddie killed!!!

 

Fat Guy - no Eddie was like a brother to me

 

JCVD - yea like a Menendez brother

[Guest J*ingus]

The great part is that joke completely fulfills all of the Shitty Joke criteria, which are:

 

1. A lame joke overall to begin with;

2. Delivered badly by a guy who barely speaks English;

3. Contained a gratuitous cheap-pop-culture reference; and

4. Didn't even make sense upon deconstruction.  They're talking about one "brother" killing another; but the Menendez's killed their parents.  

 

All in all, a joke SO shitty that it merits further study.

[Guest Shaved Bear]

ok lets go over all of the flaws in knockoff now

 

when the rocket hit eddie, it doesnt go through him, but goes through a wall

after going through the wall, the rocket looks as if it is going up, then it shows it going straight again, and go into another wall and explode

when a guy shoots a sniper rifle in the beginning, it appears to go through a guys head, but it turns out in slow mo, they just show a quick close up of a needle going into a confetti filled balloon

when jcvd kidnaps skinny, he drives through a window, but you can obviosly see the windo is broken before he drives through it

when the buddha building blows up, paul sorvino makes it ouit alive

when the buddha building blows up, the people walking around it dont even seem to notice

when the knives are shot at jcvd, they all mysteriously land as if the lmost kill him when they are in the supermarket

why does smoke come out of the knock-off shoes?

when lela rechon shoots through a guys head, why dpoes sand come out

after eddie is killed, how do they identify the body as being eddie's only 30 secs after he blew up

when jcvd is in the car with skinny, he runs over a bunch of people, one guy flys over the car without touching it, and you can see a cable

JCVD has the ability to slide around the floor miraculously

when the Hong Kong cop says its gonna blow on the tanker, how can he possibly know, he was on the ship that didnt set the detonation device, and he was underwater when they did set it

 

just a few for ya

[Guest RavishingRickRudo]

I was pissed off that it didn't have Herman the One-Armed Military Surplus man, he was all about the Knock-Offs.

[Guest]

Knock-Off was great for all the wrong reasons, but I liked Double Team more.

 

Mickey Rourke with muscles as the villian? The tiger fight? 100 Coke machines exploding? That's movie magic!