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Coffin Surfer

"Do Androids dream of wrestling again?"

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Williams snaps his head up as the doctor enters the room, he had been waiting for test results for way over an hour and he has places to be. The expression on the doctor’s face isn’t a good sign, it’s as if he’s trying terribly hard to look stoic and indifferent but fooling nobody. He’s a harbinger of bad news and nothing can hide that.

 

Staring at his notepad as if he’s avoiding eye contact, the doctor nervously mumbles,” I just got your test results back and the results are.....interesting to say the least.” Clearing a lump out of his throat the doctor continues,” I don’t know how tell you this but........you’re a robot.”

 

“What?”exclaims a confused Williams.

 

“You’re a robot.” repeats the doctor with more confidence.

 

Resting his strong chin on one of his massive hands, Williams ponders the situation before agreeing,” That would explain the infrared vision and what some have described as a one dimensional personality. But tell me this doctor, I have memories, a childhood, were they implants and nothing more?.”

 

Shaking his head, the doctor answers,” No one is born a robot, Mr. Williams. It’s a gradual process that infects one out of every five thousand people in this country alone.”

 

“Is there no cure?”

 

Looking more cheerful, the doctor responds with a smile,”Yes, you have a number of options. The first would be to find the Blue Ferry but I wouldn’t recommend that, she can be a real bitch sometimes. Another option would be a new over the counter drug, Robotitiusaway. It’s a prove cure that has restored it’s user’s humanity in at least ninety percent reported cases. “

 

With that off his mind, Williams worries turn to the sports he loves. “Will I still be able to wrestle.”

 

Trying to hold back from laughing, the doctor wipes away a smile and stoically responds,” Until your cured, I’m afraid you won’t be doing much of anything. Robots don’t have the same rights people do; you can no longer vote, use public restrooms, and you may be subject to more taxes.”

 

“Damn!” curses Williams,”My luck keeps getting better and better.”

 

"Don't be so glum, bad things come in threes so it looks like the worse is over."

 

"But this is only the second bad thing to happen to me!" protests Williams.

 

Counting his fingers, the doctor nods," Oh, I suppose your right. Don't worry I'm sure number three won't be that bad."

 

Williams buries his head in his hands.

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Well...it's the most creative farewell promo ever written, I'll give you that.

 

Seriously, Danny, I'm sorry to see you go. You've had an amazing career and are one of the best (if not the best) match writers in the history of the fed. Enjoy your newfound free time.

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Another goddamn robot in the fed?

 

I'm cool with it.

 

I honestly dont' know the Dan-ster too well, as I mentioned in the losing match thread, but you seem pretty cool, and didn't flip out and go all crazy on me for creating Danny Williams' Strong Style Ribs and such.

 

Sucks to lose another good writer.

 

HORK!

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Why does Danny always leave after losing the World Title? It sucks! It sucks big time! Not to mention the fact that this puts us down even further on the 'top faces' front. I mean, do we even HAVE a top face now?

 

Regardless of all this: VERY sad to see you go (again) Danny, for all the fact that I can't understand why you write half of what you write, and it was good to have you even on a one-show-in-three basis. Hope you drop back in before too long!

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I give it three months, tops, before 80% of the top guys in the fed turn face. That's the cycle. Too many heels, everyone turns face. Too many faces, everyone turns heel. Rinse, repeat. Gotta respect the cycle people.

 

In other news, boo at Danny going. But I've been around here long enough to know that everyone comes back eventually. At least, everyone who matters.

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This already gets my vote for Best Promo in next year's year-end Awards. Provided i remember to vote, which if this year is any indication i won't. From now on everyone's retirement promo should involve them becoming/being revealed as a robot.

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So Ghost Machine doesn't even have theright to wrestle?

 

Or does this prove Ghost Machine isn't a robot?

 

I'm confuzzled.

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