HD: LOVE SHACK!

[King Cucaracha 0]

Note to whoever's posting...please, please, put this *after the credits*. It's a sort of 'show add-on' and in kayfabe, it's meant to be a couple of hours, at least, after the show. So, *after the credits*. Thanks.

 

 

[COLOR=blue]OAOAST Productions, Proudly Presents...[/COLOR]
[COLOR=purple][SIZE=6]#~~THE LOVE SHACK~~#

The opening logo type thingy fades away, to reveal Leon Rodez sat at a desk, in what seems to be a poorly disguised part of the backstage area. Apparantly, it's supposed to resemble a living room, judging from the hastily made back-drop that hangs behind the desk. Complete with a road sign, reading "Welcome To Grand Rapids". Lounged back in his chair, Rodez is busy perusing the latest edition of "Swimsuit Monthly" when he suddenly realises he's on the air, tossing the magazine uncerimoniously over his head and sitting bolt upright in his chair.

RODEZ
Alright OAOAST fans, welcome to history in the making...it's Leon Rodez's Love Shack! And as you can see, we are live at the Rodez family home in beautiful, majestic Grand Rapids, Michigan! Wonderful place. So wonderful. (trails off) ...uhm, anyway, welcome to The Shack as it will hopefully become affectionately known by 'the kids'. And man, what a night of action we just had here tonight on HeldDOWN~! And of course, the main event featured...yours truly. Defending...

Rodez lifts his OAOAST Tag Title up.

RODEZ
This beauty. But of course, like most nights in my life, I wasn't alone. I was joined by a man. Which...uh, which isn't usual...infact...uh, I'm usually joined by women. Yeah. Lots of women. But not tonight, for I was joined by a man. A manly man. A man known around the world. A former OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion. My chum. My buddy. My amigo. Mi hombre. My best friend. My tag team partner. And my special guest, here tonight in this inaugral Love Shack...ladies and gentlemen, give it up for ZACK MALIBU!!

Fake applause is suddenly cued from off screen, as a rather bemused looking Zack Malibu walks in with Candie by his side. The two look around the 'set' curiously, before Zack sits down on the provided chair...leaving Candie standing.

RODEZ
Zack, it's a pleasure to have you on, welcome to The Love Shack.

MALIBU
Uh...thanks.

RODEZ
Obviously, I want to thank you for taking the time to come up here and be my first ever guest.

MALIBU
Don't mention it. So, what's the deal anyway?

RODEZ
Well, they couldn't afford Ventura anymore so they asked me to fill in on the talk show time...*whispers* [i]He's hit the bottle real bad, if rumours are to be believed[/i]... SO! Zack, obviously it was a big night tonight on HeldDOWN~! for you, because not only because we were live from your hometown of Provide...uuhh...Grand Rapids, Michigan!

Candie glances at Zack, confused, getting no answer and simply a shrug of the shoulders.

RODEZ
But also, because you and I defended our OAOAST Tag Team Championships successfully, yet again. And, at the risk of tooting my own proverbially, non innuendo involving horn...we did pretty damn awesome. Hey, Zack, remember when I did the thing.

MALIBU
Yeah...that was...uh, great.

RODEZ
And then you were going to do the other thing, but I did the other other thing and you were like WELL, DAYUM~! That was sweet. So, what's next for The Z Squad?

Zack sighs.

MALIBU
I told you...we agreed we weren't going to call ourselves that.

RODEZ
The Am-Am Connection?

MALIBU
That's terrible.

RODEZ
How about Dicks Over Chicks.

Candie frowns.

MALIBU
I thought we agreed on The Usual Suspects.

RODEZ
That was before I watched the film. I mean, seriously, I thought CSI was a horrible name for a team. But we're naming ourselves after a Stephen Baldwin movie. Now, if it were Billy Baldwin, we'd be talking.

MALIBU
We agreed. End of.

Rodez folds his arms and for a moment, there's an awkward silence...before Rodez reaches over and grabs a bowl from his desk.

RODEZ
Candy?

CANDIE
Yes?

RODEZ
HA, GOTCHA!!

A loud sigh escapes Zack. After all, even he doesn't tell jokes that bad. Except when posting on The Pit. BURN! Rodez continues to offer the sweets though, until Zack finally takes one.

RODEZ
So, do you enjoy eating candy?

Zack spits out the sweet in his mouth and starts choking, while Candie looks at Rodez with daggers in her eyes.

RODEZ
Moving on swiftly, it seems us 'makeshift' Tag Team Champions are doing pretty well for ourselves. Now, be honest, what do you really think of teaming with me?

MALIBU
Honestly?

RODEZ
*nods*

MALIBU
Well...uh, it's taken a little bit of getting used to. You are a little...unorthodox, at times. But you're athletic. Charismatic. And thankfully, you're not stupid enough to be lured in by the Global Ungrateful Exchange.

Zack waits for some laughter from Rodez, but he's keeping a straight face. Like, dead straight.

MALIBU
...nothing?

RODEZ
I have a 'canned laughter' button here, but even that's not going to save you.

MALIBU
Right. Well, in all seriousness, it's good to see that not all the youngsters in the OAOAST are power mad and psychologically imbalanced. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't glad there someone for me to maybe pass the torch to, some day. Who knows, maybe some day when I'm laid up in the retirement home, you can take over the mantle of 'The Franchise'. *laughs*

RODEZ
Would I have to start a bitching war with Ric Flair?

MALIBU
No.

RODEZ
Would I have to talk about 'Franchisin' people's asses'?

MALIBU
No...

RODEZ
Would I have to do the laugh? Because I can. BWAHAHAHAAAAA!!

MALIBU
...uh, no.

Rodez smiles

RODEZ
Cool. Well, this has been real great, but we're running out of time here and I've got a couple of Providence hotties waiting in the locker room for me.

MALIBU
I thought we were supposed to be in Grand Rapids. *nods towards the sign*

RODEZ
...they're tourists.

MALIBU
Riiiight.

RODEZ
So, this was the Love Shack, I was Leon Rodez. Zack, thanks for coming down to join us. Candie...will you make sweet love to me?

CANDIE
Ew, no!

RODEZ
...damn...


Suddenly, we cut away to...Leon Rodez, for some inexplicable reason seeing as the camera was on him already, although now he's alone so it's obviously a pre-recorded bit.

RODEZ
Don't forget to watch OAOAST HeldDOWN~!, next week, where we will be in historic [Lance Storm voice]Calgary, Alberta Canada.[/Lance Storm] Expect more matches, more super showdowns, more TALKING~! and more from The Shack, next week. It will be The Parka challenging Bohemoth for the HI-YAH Heavyweight Championship. Plus Stephen Joseph wants answers, all your favourite superstars will be in the house and will Bret Hart be there? WHO KNOWS! That's HeldDOWN~!, 7 central and...whatever eastern is compared to central. I don't know, they just pay me to do the hard shill. That's not just the coolest, that's not just the best, that's OAOAST HeldDOWN~! from [Lance Storm voice]Calgary, Alberta Canada.[/Lance Storm] See you all, next week, natch!