Drunken stories.....

[Guest Lord of The Curry]

Drunken Story #1

 

The Place: My kitchen

The Time: December 31'st, 2001

The Alcohol in me: 40 oz'er, Smirnoff Ice, Beer, Straight Vodka.

 

Now, I have a linoleum kitchen floor, slippery as fuck so I assumed in all my drunken wisdom that I could slide across it on my knees while holding my 40. How blind of me. Instead of running and sliding on my knees like a normal person I JUMP straight into the air and land with a crash on my kneecaps, sliding a total of 2 inches. The next day both knees were black and blue like ya'll wouldn't believe.

 

I'll post some more (I've got lots) when other people reply...

[Guest]

The Place: End of the year party (Junior Year)

The Time: Some time in June

The Alcohol in me: Beer. Don't remember what kind

 

I just did the screwed up shit peeps do when they drunk, ya heard? I ran around screamin shit (you know it was brilliant too, cuz it was me, yo) and I puked in the kid's pool. It was fuckin fun, though.

[Guest dreamer420]

the place: party at my house

the time: around 3:30 am

in me: beer, vodka, drugs

 

a friend and I are playing a game of pool when somehow we got the idea to break a cue over one of our backs.  my friend volunteered so we went into the backyard and set it up.  by this time there was probably 15 people standing above us watching from thr deck.  i wind up and nail him as hard as I can.  only problem was that to break the cue I should have been holding the lighter end and swung the heavy end around him.  i fucked that up and hit him with the light end, thus caning his back and leaving a nice little welt.

[Guest caboose]

Place: Party at my Friends place

The time 12:30am

In Me: 7 Foster's Ice's, 500Ml of Vodka,  12 Shots Of JD.

 

My girlfriend Lisa pulls up outside in her car, and me being so happy to see her run out and dive on top of the car.

My knees crash onto the roof and place two nice round dents in the roof.

My Shins following through hit the rim of the roof, and I bruise up my shins really badly.

Lisa trys to pull me off her car, I roll of land on my elbow, yep you've guessed it, fractured Elbow.

Drink And Motor Vehicles don't mix!

[Guest]

Place: my old house

Time: late at night sometime during junior year

In Me: The usual...lotsa screwdrivers and some beer chasers

 

Me and my friend on our weekly drunkedness, invite this girl Holly over to hang out. She gets drunk with us, and we were playing a terrible fighting game on the PS2, and we decided to make it a "strip game", while Holly kept on drinking in the background. We were down to our underwear, and we happened to get a double KO on the last one since neither one of us wanted to get naked in front of the girl we were both kinda horny for (but then again horniness isn't very subjective when alcohol's mixed in), and we both kinda looked at each other. Holly, Matt (my friend), and I decided on the best thing possible, ot be as outrageous as possible outside the house...We both went outside (in early February mind you in the middle of the night) and we ran down the street singing Blink182's "What's My Age Again?" loudly, then ran back down doing cartwheels and somersaults...Then Holly got freaky with Matt and the rest was kind of blurry but I remember taking her bra off and throwing it in the trash can while giggling endlessly, and the next morning I woke up with her in the same bed as me, Matt on the floor with her blue tubetop on, and all of us with a killer hangover and a very very strange night.

[Guest]

The Place:  On Rockaway Beach in Oregon

The Time:  Late afternoon on July 4th two years ago

In Me:  More cheap beer and cheap wine than I can remember.

 

So there we are, all sitting around the campfire.  I was sitting on a log, holding an almost full 40 of Old English (about my ninth one).  Suddenly, for reasons I can't remember, I fell backward onto the sand and rolled out of it onto my ass.  Several of my friends witnessed this and were shocked to see that not one drop of my beer had fallen out.  How was this possible?  I haven't a clue.  Does my arm rotate 360 degrees?  That's all I can think of.

 

Go go Gadget Beer Arm!

[Guest]

Thisss onee time...come to thinki twas just a second ago i got really PISSFED in favct i thinka im abitq drunkk now,..

 

ima gonna go sleeepp nmow

 

This has beennn **passes out**

[Guest]

Place: Hook it up Harry's basement

Time: 8:20 on a Friday back in July of 1999

Event: Great American Drinkoff

 

Rules were simple. Pick the hard liqour of your choice. PAce yourself but take in as many shots as you could handle. To end the match, you could either voluntarily quit, or if you had vomitted the match was called and you lost. I was facing Hook it up Harry after many months of shit talking. This bastard thought he could outdrink me, and I was at the peak of my tolerance. I had just graduated from Bridgewater State College in Massachusetts, a small state college known for Peter Hurricane McNeely, and its large population of alcoholic students. Anyways his drink of choice was Cuervo Gold. Mine was JAromir Jagermeister. I was a 3 shot favorite. The match went on for a few hours. Around shot #9, Harry had spit up some pukage. Judges had ruled that the match must continue. Time to worry, I was only up by one shot and needed some insurance shots. While Harry had recovered from his near loss, I had downed two shots, up by the three I needed to appease the betting public. Harry, trying to save face downed another shot. It was his last for the night. No sooner than the shot went down, it had come back up. With friends. Harry had rushed out to his porch to puke while his portuguese family were gathered in the kitchen doing whatever it is that portogeese do. I was still feeling fine for a few more minutes. Then, in a strange twist, my body had completely skipped the "buzzed stage" and I went from stone sober to black out drunk. I puked a lot. All over the place. All over me. All over you. Everywhere. To this day, Jagermeister has become my kryptonite, my dark side. I look at the label and I get scared. There's a picture of a deer with a cross above his head. If I look at it too long, the cross turns upside down and the deers eyes glow. And I cry.

[Guest Razor Roman]

Place: Mc Donald's, State College, PA

Date: Summer of 96. We had just gotten back from a RAW taping... the one where DX parodied the Nation and they did a tag match where Kane (who was Mankind's partner) turned on Mankind and started beating the hell out of him... only to take off the mask and reveal (gasp) It was really the UNDERTAKER!

 

 

So, we went back to my buddy's apartment, and drank a bunch of Woodchuck Cider, when my friend looks at a banner stolen from McDonald's that said "Would you like fries with that?".

 

My friend decides he MUST get fries - NOW! So we walk, drunk, to McD's.

 

I order my stuff and pay, the whole while thinking "Be cool. Don't act drunk. Wait a second, you're obviously drunk. This girl knows your drunk. You're not fooling anybody." So I get my food, and pay. And the thought keeps making me laugh, so hard that I drop my change all over the place. I'm now embarassed and laughing my BUTT off, so I just run away.

 

Then we saw 2 SMOKING girls taking their third SMOKING friend for her 21st birthday Barcrawl, and we start flirting with them, until the three giant PSU football players they were with catch up to them. Then we just crossed the street and went back to the apartment, where we listened to a CD of 80's tv themes.

[Guest dreamer420]

So, we went back to my buddy's apartment, and drank a bunch of Woodchuck Cider, when my friend looks at a banner stolen from McDonald's that said "Would you like fries with that?".

 

My friend decides he MUST get fries - NOW! So we walk, drunk, to McD's.

 

I order my stuff and pay, the whole while thinking "Be cool. Don't act drunk. Wait a second, you're obviously drunk. This girl knows your drunk. You're not fooling anybody." So I get my food, and pay. And the thought keeps making me laugh, so hard that I drop my change all over the place. I'm now embarassed and laughing my BUTT off, so I just run away.

i swear most drunk people end up in a mcdonalds one way or another during their nights.

[Guest redbaron51]

Place: At a party

Time: Last week, around midnight

In Me: 5 Loaded Soda's 3 Mikes Hard and a few shots of Vodka.

 

What happened. It didn't happened to me, but it happened to someone else. One guy was fucking drunk and he was standing still holding a beer bottle. My friend grabs a hockey stick and swings right for the nuts. The guy stands still and says "Do it again!" Shocked, we kept doing that for at least 10 minutes, until the guy passed out. My gf checked his pants and he wasn't wearing a jock strap on. All this on camera and we sent it to Real TV.

[Guest scratch]

Date - March 17th, 2002

Location - My friend's house, big parent's are away party

In me - 13 beers, 1 Mikes', 1 Smirnoff Ice, 6 straight shots of Vodka

 

I blacked out. It was fun. My friends have a tape of me pulling out my dick and slapping people with it FULLY ERECT. Definitely one of the last times I will ever drink so heavily again.

 

--Scratch

[Guest Lord of The Curry]

Friends and cameras don't mix. I repeat DONT MIX. My entire high school has seen photos of me leaning over toilets and passed out on my kitchen floor thanks to my so-called friends. My geography teacher even saw it and laughed his ass off for 5 minutes about it.

[Guest NoCalMike]

Date: a few weeks ago

Place: my gf's house, parents upstairs asleep, partying with her and her brother's friends.

Damage: 40oz of St. ides, a couple bowls of chronic

 

So we were outside, not being too rowdy, we decide to go into my girlfriend's brothers girlfriends car to hotbox. the neighbor across the street opens his door to watch the activities. We decide to go inside. For some odd reason I start making buzzing sounds, my girlfriend described to me soundling like a bumble bee. Then we all get hungry and decide to heat up some burritos. Turns out they are all out of burritos, so we load up in the car and someone drives us to Jack in the Box. We are all so stoned we just sit there staring at the menu forever. Then we finally order, go back to the house, and play some video games before passing out. Not that exciting of a story, I guess, but then again, trying to remember that night is really hard. I could barely remember this much.

[Guest TUS_02]

Date - 2 years ago, sometime in August

Place - Party for the counselors of the camp I work at

Shit Consumed - It was 3 years ago, I had more beer in me then I wish to remember

 

Like I said, it was a last day of camp party and there were kegs all over the place (we actually had to work the next day, feel bad for me at the end....) Anyway, the last keg was finally tapped and that really didn't sit well with me. So, to let my agression out... I took the keg and I started smashing it against my head. It was finally taken away from me... but I wasn't done yet. There was a small wooden table off the side that was being used for drinking games. I asked someone to dare me to jump through it, so they did..... and I did. It took me two tries though...

 

So I get up... still mad there's no beer left and I notice that there is a steel mesh fence about 10 yards away... I figure that I could jump THROUGH it. So I tried once (headfirst)... again (sidefirst) and a thrid time (backfirst). Realized it wasn't going to work... so I rolled down the hill outside.

 

....then I passed out...

 

....Then I had to watch kids for 6 hours the next day....

[Guest Lord of The Curry]

I had a pretty fuckin rough expirience a month ago on the May 24th long weekend up here in the great white north of Mississauga.....Ontario, Canada.

 

There's been a best friend/almost girlfriend situation that my life has revolved around for the past 2 years and it took four smirnoff ices, a half mickey of vodka, 3 beers and 2 shots of rum to get it all out of me. I basically had a nervous breakdown about the whole girl situation dealy and cried in my friends lap for an hour while she played the supportive pal role. Then my friends mom saw me, came up and hugged me. Then his dad. It was the biggest love-fest ever but I didn't care because apparently all I would talk about is that girl. Bad, bad stuff.

 

I've been told that whenever I drink I talk about her. Maybe it's something I should take care of.

[Guest HBK16]

Place: An huge aircondtioned shed in my friends backyard

Time: Last Tuesday

In Me: 15 shots of vodka and 5 beers

 

 

It was probably the cooledt night og my life. Well not really but it was pretty fun. My friends shed is huge. They have a band so they have a big set of drums, four 6 foot amps and all that other junk needed to pay. We were all drinking in there cause it is like our little hangout where we go, play music or just blast the radio and drink or smoke bud. I had more shots than anybody so I was kinda like the life of the party. We played Sweet Home Alabama while I was drunk and they were high so it was the shit. I don't have hangovers the next day but the next day, I felt terrible but it was all worth it.

 

SOme of the stupid stuff I did: I tried to call my friend which I finally did after like 15 times of trying to get the number right and he wasn't home and I ended up talking ot his mom for about 20 mins saying a bunch of stupid shit and telling her how many shots I had. Set my leg on fire trying to burn ants with WD 40. My leg is alright but my pants were kinda burnt. And my final stupid act that I did was throw up on my girlfriends shirt while she was trying to help me home. She was cool with it though, thank God!

[Guest Kotzenjunge]

PREPARE... for my Drunk Stories are coming. For now, I sleep. Just thought I'd give everyone the heads-up. Mine rule, because I remember EVERYTHING, and NEVER get hangovers. Now can you dig that?

 

...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

SUCKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Guest thebear]

Story #1

Place: A Group Of Friends TownHouse

Time: 3 Thursdays Ago

Booze: 1/2 Quart of Lamb's 151 Overproof Rum (75.6%)

 

Had A Couple shots (Anybody who's drank that knows there's no point in mixing it, you can only chase and hope for the best) I remember playing Mario Kart for the SNES after smackdown for shots... We were getting ready to head downtown... I lost 7 of 8 games, and at one point was playing with a Playstation controller...

 

I remember Trevor talking to his girlfriend, I remember a bunch of people showing up...

 

Everything From this point onward is what People Have told me...

 

Apparently, Jon and Matt were playing dreamcast in trevors room, i crawled into the bathroom and started puking, onto the closed toliet seat... Trevor comes in to try to get me to put the seat up, and he gets it up, he comes back, and the toliet is full of puke (Subway and Booze donot mix) He tells me to flush the broken toliet... I start ripping at things in the open tank, pull out the hose, and water starts hitting me in the face, he just put the hose back in, turned off the light, and they left...

 

 

Back to my own memories *L*

 

I woke up the next morning in thier spare room on a air matress... I look over, and a 1/2 quart of overproof rum is staring at me... I immediately puke... I puked the whole day, and swore off booze forever...

 

It lasted 9 days... although I still get squeamish over the mention of lamb's... and I don't think I can ever drink rum again

[Guest Lord of The Curry]

I've got the same thing going with rum dude. After a week in Montreal with me waking up to my friends doing shots of it I can't deal with it

[Guest JAxlMorrison]

Date: Last night

Location: My friend John's house

In me: A 5th of gin

 

 

Nothing too interesting during the course of the night, I just remember slurred speech and endless trips to the pisser. However, once the booze was gone (and I hate gin, so I obviously was looking forward to getting fucked up) I tried, KEY WORD IS TRIED to walk over to my friend Dan's house and got lost. In the process I tried to cross the spot on the train tracks which I thought was the path to his house, had to climb a fence with barbed wire around the top (I'M HARDCORE) got all sliced up from that, then once I got over the fence, I fell down a wicked hill into a nice thrush of thorn bushes. All this while laughing my pathetically drunken ass off. I never did find the 2nd party, and had to walk all the way back to the 1st one, where I was immediately flagged. But, on the plus side I woke us this morning feeling right as rain, no hangover, no puking.

[Guest Intimacy Goblin]

Girl I knew was so piss-drunk at a party that she stumbled outside and took a shit in some guy's driveway.

[Guest Incandenza]

Date: June '97

Location: The house of someone I didn't know.

In Me: Some beer that I cannot recall, but mostly vodka. A LOT of vodka.

 

I've already told this story in the "How big of an asshole are you?" thread. Simply put: It was a high school graduation party. I saw a girl I had been dating up until a week or so prior to this event. She was making out with some guy I didn't know. I was bitter over the end of our relationship, jealous and very drunk. I found her handbag, and took a dump in it. I regretted it shortly thereafter, but, as far as I know, she never linked me to the turd in her purse.

[Guest Intimacy Goblin]

I, personally, would've paid damn good money to see the look on her face when she found fecal matter in her handbag.

[Guest Incandenza]

I, personally, would've paid damn good money to see the look on her face when she found fecal matter in her handbag.

I don't think it would be too hard to imagine her reaction.

[Guest kingkamala]

Date: June '97

Location: The house of someone I didn't know.

In Me: Some beer that I cannot recall, but mostly vodka. A LOT of vodka.

 

I've already told this story in the "How big of an asshole are you?" thread. Simply put: It was a high school graduation party. I saw a girl I had been dating up until a week or so prior to this event. She was making out with some guy I didn't know. I was bitter over the end of our relationship, jealous and very drunk. I found her handbag, and took a dump in it. I regretted it shortly thereafter, but, as far as I know, she never linked me to the turd in her purse.

Thanks for sharing.... your....uhh...interesting story

[Guest swan]

This happened several years ago to a friend of mine. We were at this huge ass bash at another friends place. Some of us were going to camp out in the back yard to keep the city streets safe. Everyone got totally shit faced. We had a kiddie pool filled with beer and ice and another filled with hard shit and wine. My friend wandered off. I didn’t think much of it since he was hitting it off with some hot chick. He shows up at about 6:30 the next morning. Guess he woke up around 5 in the morning in some chicks bed. He has no clothes on except the chicks bra and panties. The chick was out cold and he was able to find his socks and pants, nothing else and sneak out. His brothers buddy was on his way to work that morning when he found him walking down the street with just his pants on. He picked him up and brought him back to us. Guess he blacked out and had no idea what happened.