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SWF Smarkdown 10-03-05

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SWF Genesis VI

September 20, 2005




The voice of Longdogger Pete and The Suicide King are heard as still shots from the event are shown.


“Fans, this is the match we have ALL been waiting for,” says Pete.


~ Tom Flesher stands in the entranceway of MSG ~


~ Spike Jenkins stands in the entranceway of MSG ~


“These two men are coming out here to kill each other, King!”


~ Jenkins and Flesher square off, face-to-face, in the middle of the ring ~


“And Flesher is going to come out of this match alive, Pete!”


~ Flesher holds Spike in the air with a rear waist lock takedown ~


~ Spike locks Taamo in a cravat ~


“The action has spilled to the floor with some hard strikes by Jenkins!”


~ Spike knife-edge chops Flesher ~


~ Flesher flings Spike by the hair into the steel post ~


“King, Spike Jenkins is bleeding profusely! The match just started and there is already blood everywhere!”


~ Spike covered with the Crimson Mask ~


~ Flesher shoteis’ Spike across the forehead ~


“Don’t tell me he is going for it, King! No, don’t do it, Tom!”


~ Tom lifts Spike up for a piledriver on the concrete ~




The sound of the mat being hit is heard as Pete, King, and the crowd chant along.





~ Tom lifts Spike into the air for a Belly-to-Back suplex ~


~ Tom lifts Spike into the air for a German suplex ~


“Ever since hitting that steel post, Spike has been unable to get in any offense. He has lost a lot of blood!”


~ Tom kicks Spike in the head as he tries to stand up ~


“So you know what that means, right Pete? BOOT SCRAPES!”


~ Tom slams his Doc Martins into the face of Jenkins in the corner ~


“Spike is making the comeback! Superkick!”


“No! Flesher blocks it!” says King.


“Spike misses the superkick…but hits a Pele Kick!”


~ Spike back flips, kicking Flesher in the head as he comes down ~




~ Spike hits the Lariat, knocking Tom inside out ~


“ONE! TWO! THREE! NO! Flesher kicks out!”


~ Spike lifts Flesher into the air for a Tiger Bomb ~




“Jenkins is going to the top rope! He’s looking to end it all!”


“But Flesher is up! Shotei! He’s climbing to the top!”


~ Flesher hooks Spike up on the top rope for the Boilermaker ~


“Spike is doing everything to counter it though!”


~ Spike tries to lift Flesher up for an Orange Crush Bomb ~


“Orange Crush Bomb! It’s over! It’s over!”


“No! Flesher isn’t going to fall for it this time!”


“Spike is headbutting Flesher! He’s double underhooking both arms….TOP ROPE TOXXIC SHOCK SYNDROME!!!!”


~ Spike and Flesher go flying through the air as they both come down to the mat from the top rope pedigree ~






“Spike Jenkins has defeated Tom Flesher! He is now the number one contender to the SWF World Heavyweight Title!”


~ Spike holds his arms up in victory in the entranceway ~


“Spike Jenkins has defeated Tom Flesher at Genesis VI!”




…Fade to Black.

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The Smartmarks Wrestling Federation presents...





El Luchadore Magnifico (SWF World Heavyweight Champion) v. JJ Johnson (SWF Cruiserweight Champion) v. Zyon

-> A message to all people: if you miss your plane, good things may happen to you. JJ Johnson missed his plane from Manchester to Burlington (allow me to interject here that Manchester to Burlington is like a two hour drive), and it forced his Cruiserweight Championship match with Zyon to be postponed indefinitely. While CC scrambles to reschedule that match, they've decided to keep Zyon and JJ fighting each other -- but they've thrown El Luchadore Magnifico, SWF World Heavyweight Champion, into the mix! With three of the four best cruiserweight currently in the fed in this match, we could see something exciting -- as well as see a midterm title contender emerge...

Rules: First fall wins. All DQs are in effect -- if one man is disqualified, he is removed for the match, leaving the other two to battle it out.




Wild and Dangerous (Wildchild and Johnny Dangerous, SWF Tag Team Champions) v. Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix and Jay Hawke (SWF International Champion)

-> Maddix and Hawke, coming off of a big win on Lockdown, look to parlay their success there into more gold here.

Rules: Standard tag rules.



"Urban Legend" Todd Cortez v. Marcus "The Mastermind" Ward

-> Ward has had mixed success in every division he's been in. Tonight, he takes a break from his team of the Nightmare Express to take on a relatively intimidating fellow looking to snatch some big gold, Todd Cortez.

Rules: Standard.



Jimmy the Doom v. Bruce Blank

-> I have no words. I am wordless.

Rules: Standard.


Also Appearing: TKO! Others! Maybe even a surprise or two!

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** BOOM **


** BOOM **


** BOOM **



*** KABONG ***



Pyro explodes around the stage as SWF Smarkdown explodes onto television sets all across the country. The Plattsburgh Civic Center comes to life, as the fans wave their signs around. The camera pans across the arena, as it makes its way down to the announcers for the evening, Longdogger Pete and Suicide King!


“Fans, WELCOME to SWF Smarkdown! Alongside me is none other that The Suicide King!”


“Why are you so cheerful, Pete?”


“Because, this is a new era for Smarkdown! Tom Flesher is not here tonight and has left his position as commissioner!”


“He didn’t leave! He’s just on vacation!”


“Either way, I don’t think we’ll ever see him abusing his powers again!”


Every light in the arena goes to full power as the Smarktron whites out. For a moment the only sound is that of a needle scratching over vinyl...


“And it is all because of this man!”



And then *BAM*


The crashing guitars of Lamb of God’s “Black Label” send a bolt through the crowd. The drumming sends a jolt throughout the arena, as the pace of the intro begins to pick up. Finally…




The high-pitched scream of Randy Blythe breaks through the speakers as the bright white lights begin flashing at the entranceway. As the scream hits the crowd, Spike walks out wearing a black hoodie on, the hood covering most of his face. Spike drops down to one knee, leaving one arm to hang to the ground, while the other is firmly placed on his knee. After a few moments, Spike raises both arms into an “X”, symbolizing his Straight Edge life style. Spike rises to his feet and begins to make his way down the isle towards the ring.


”Ladies and Gentleman…please welcome the Number One Contender to the SWF World Heavyweight Championship! He is “HOLLYWOOD” SPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKE JEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENKINNNNNNNNNNNNSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!”


Spike makes his way completely around the ring and rolls underneath the bottom rope. He continues rolling until he hits dead center in the middle of the ring. Spike rises to one knee and resumes the position he was in at the top of the entranceway. One arm hanging to the ground, the other placed on his knee. Finally, Spike rises to his feet. He puts his arms together, forming an “X” across his chest, again promoting his Straight Edge life style.




Spike takes a moment to look around at the New York crowd, taking it all in. As soon as they settle down, he takes the microphone he was handed and begins to speak.


“I told you. I told you all! I said I was going into Genesis VI to beat Tom Flesher and THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I DID!” shouts the Hollywood Superstar as the crowd erupts into cheers, “And now, here I am! The number one contender to the SWF World Heavyweight Championship!”




“Now that I’ve moved pass all my problems with Tom Flesher and Creative Control, I can finally look towards the future. I can finally look towards fulfilling my destiny of becoming the World Champion! I can finally look towards the future at Ashes 2 Ashes!”




“Spike Jenkins will be challenging for the World Title at Ashes 2 Ashes, King!”




“That is why I am out here tonight. To announce that I will main event Ashes 2 Ashes against the world champion…whomever they be…and…”


Just then, the lights in the arena go out, as…




Atake FDD’s “Tu Final”, which is shouted as a burst of red, white and green sparks explode upwards from the stage! As the smoke clears, the fans catch a clear sight of El Luchador Magnifico, who strides out from behind the curtain, illuminated by a single spotlight. No Mexican Flag with him yet, just the SWF World Title around his waist.


“Finally!” cries King, “Someone worth talking about! El Luchador Magnifico!”


ELM stomps around the ringside area towards the announcers’ table, where he is handed a microphone. He unstraps the title from around his waist and climbs into the ring. He walks right into the face of Jenkins, trying to shove the challenger back with his chest.


“Whomever the champion may be? Excuse me? Let me tell you something, you may be the longest reigning Cruiserweight Champion in SWF History, but before that belt was used for onion dip, I was the GREATEST Light-Heavyweight Champion in SWF History! Not only that, but the GREAT WORLD Heavyweight Champion in SWF History! You better BELIEVE that I will be the World Champion when Ashes 2 Ashes rolls around,” states the Champion.


“Well…that is all fine and dandy, ELM…but when were you the Light-Heavyweight Champion? Three Years ago? And when was the last time you held the World Title? Two years ago? I think it’s great that you came out of retirement for your one last run in the company…but it’s time to face the music. You’re washed up. You aren’t the same from two, three years ago. It’s time for new blood to take over the top spot. Sure, you and Danny Williams got to main event Genesis and I’m sure it was a nice trip down memory lane, but it’s over. That is in the past, much like your credibility is…”


And with that, ELM slaps his future World Title opponent across the face, drawing an “Ooooooooh!” from the crowd.


“I was main eventing SWF Pay Per Views while you were wrestling dark matches in the SJL! You do NOT deserve to be in the same ring as me…”


But ELM is quickly cut off by a single leg takedown from Jenkins. Spike quickly mounts ELM and both begin throwing rights and lefts at each other. The ring crew and road agents run out to the ring, as ELM and Spike roll around taking shots at each other. Spike is finally pulled off of ELM, who quickly slides underneath the bottom rope. He holds his jaw as he reaches back in and grabs his title belt that he dropped and begins to make his way up the ramp. Spike breaks free from the ring crew and road agents.



Spike stands in the ring, staring at the Champion.



ELM stands in the entranceway, staring at the Challenger.



“It will be El Luchador Magnifico defending the SWF World Heavyweight Title against Spike Jenkins at Ashes 2 Ashes!” cries Pete, “ONLY ON PAY PER VIEW!”



[Fade Out]

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"Welcome to Smarkdown, live from the Plattsburgh Civic Center, in Plattsburgh, New York!" Longdogger Pete beams.


"We're really scraping the bottom of the barrel right about now. Plattsburgh? Are we sure that this is even a real town? Well, at least we aren't in the south..." King mutters.


"I'm sure the next man scheduled tonight would take offense to that, because we've got Jimmy the Doom and Bruce Blank set to go at it!"


Before King can retort, the lights go out, and two columns of shadowy figures march down the ramp, chanting the same word:










The druids reach the end of the ramp, split up, and encircle the ring, leaving a gap directly in front of the ramp. The lights come back on and Boots Randolph's "Yakety Sax" blares over the speakers.


"Ladies and gentlemen, the following match is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, from Doomopolis, Doomtopia, being accompanied by Lois the Unethical, JIIIMMMYYY THE DOOOOOM!" Funyon shouts.


Jimmy and his valet walk leisurely down the aisle, Doom taking time to tip his porcupine fur Cossack hat (Still with quills) to the crowd. The duo reach the ring, and Jimmy hands the hat off to Lois before climbing inside.


"Jimmy the Doom picked up an impressive win over Martin Hunt on Lockdown, and once again, he's facing a man no stranger to drinking and cousin marrying in Bruce Blank."


"Yeah, but there's a difference. Martin Hunt is a loser, and Bruce Blank is seething with rage over his tag team loss, and will absolutely destroy Jimmy the Doom," King points out.


"Yakety Sax" is abruptly replaced with the sophisticated sounds of...Lynyrd Skynyrd's "Don't Ask Me No Questions"? Okay, then.


"And his opponent, from Mobile Alabama, he weighs in at two hundred, ninety-five pounds and is the current Hardcore Champion, BRRUUUCE BLAAAANK!" the salted and deep-fried onion snack exclaims.


Blank saunters down the ramp, stops in front of the nearest druid and fakes a punch, trying to see if the hooded figure will flinch. Pissed that he couldn't get a response, Bruce cocks his fist back and unleashes a big right hand that floors the druid.


"And Bruce Blank has just nailed one of those druids!"


"So? This isn't Lockdown, he can do what he wants," King shoots back.


"But it doesn't mean he should attack non-wrestlers," Pete replies.


"Hey, who knows who is under there? Landon Maddix could be hiding out here. Better hit 'em all, Bruce, just to be sure!" King yells encouragingly.


It seems Bruce has heard the advice, or maybe is just laughing his ass off that none of the druids are fighting back, and goes about knocking each and every one to the floor. Blank takes off his disgusting hat, places it on the ringpost, and takes off his title belt, showing what he's got and what Jimmy doesn't have. Referee Paul Hogan, however, is quick to inform Bruce that that's not a belt, this is a belt, pointing to the piece of extension cord Hogan is using to hold up his own pair of pants. Blank finally gets in the ring, allowing the ref to check for illegal objects. Hogan tosses out a half-full can of Skoal of Blank's and motions for the bell.




Jimmy wastes no time and heads right for Bruce, only to get smacked with a big right hand. Doom reels backwards from the force of the blow, and is quickly tagged with two more. Blank measures Jimmy up and knocks the Doomtopian off his feet with a clubbing forearm to the head. Bruce jogs to the ropes, bounces off and leaps, only to crash hard on empty canvas.


"And Bruce Blank missed a big leg drop there. This should be very interesting, King. On one hand, you've got Jimmy the Doom, who proved on Lockdown, that it takes a lot to keep him down while not being particularly devastating himself, and on the other, you've got Bruce Blank, who can dish out a lot, but might not be in good enough shape to take a sound beating."


"What? I'm sorry, I dozed off during your lecture, professor. My humble apologies."


"You bastard."


Jimmy waits for Bruce to rise and fires off a spin kick to the jaw. Blank shakes the blow off as best he can, but eats a palm strike. Doom fires off another shotei, but Bruce throws up an arm just in time to block it, and nails Jimmy with a back fist. The Hardcore champion quickly follows up with a big right hook and a clubbing forearm to the head. Jimmy the Doom stumbles backwards, but Blank's reach is more than enough to snag the Doomtopian and pull him in for a short-arm clothesline.


"Bruce Blank is really taking it to Jimmy the Doom. I don't think Jimmy can withstand a barrage from a man the size of Blank."


"Figured that one out all by yourself?" King asks.


Blank hauls Jimmy back to his feet and whips him into the ropes. Doom races back towards Bruce and gets plucked off his feet and driven to the mat with a power slam. Bruce hooks Jimmy's leg and Hogan slides in to count the pin.







Blank pulls Jimmy up by the hair and delivers a big uppercut for good measure. Bruce shoots Doom into the ropes and hoists him up in a military press. Blank does a few reps, grinning like the cocky prick that he is, walks towards and ropes, and launches Jimmy the Doom out of the ring.


"Right into the druids!" Pete shouts.


"Ha, yes! Bullseye!"


"Those druids are having a tough time tonight. First, they all get knocked flat, and now, just as a few are getting up, Bruce Blank just throws Jimmy the Doom right into them, sending them back to the ground."


Blank flexes for a bit while Paul Hogan begins the ten-count.




Jimmy rolls onto his stomach.




Doom gets up to his knees, and then stands fully upright.




Jimmy heads for the ring, but Bruce kicks him in the face through the ropes. Hogan turns to warn the Hardcore champ about such behavior, allowing Doom to slide back in the ring.


"I know that you'll say I sound like a broken record, King, but I'm simply amazed at Jimmy the Doom. He took a nasty spill outside the ring, but managed to get back in before the referee counted to four."


"Broken record? Get with the new millenium, MacDougal. You're a scratched CD. Or maybe a corrupted mp3 file. If that even works," King mumbles.


Blank brushes past the ref and whips Jimmy into the ropes. Bruce chases after Doom and knocks him flat with a shoulder block. Blank turns around to find Jimmy the Doom already getting back to his feet, but Bruce charges forward and turns him inside-out with a flying clothesline. Blank grabs hold of the ropes to stop himself, but Jimmy is standing once more. On the verge of just shooting him, Blank nails Doom with a big right hand, and another, and yet another punch before launching Jimmy into the ropes. Bruce scoops him up and plants the Doomtopian with a spine buster. Moving as quickly as he can, Bruce gets to Jimmy's side and drops a meaty elbow across his chest, staying down for the cover.







"He kicked out! Jimmy the Doom simply does not go down easily!" Pete exclaims.


"If only the same could be said of your mother! Hi-yo!" King shouts, ducking a wild punch from the Longdogger.


Blank violently pulls Jimmy off the mat and whips him into the ropes. Bruce bends double, looking for a back body drop, but Doom stops short, raises his left leg, and fires off a big kick.




"The Yak Kick! Jimmy the Doom just blasted Bruce Blank with the Yak Kick!"


"Calm down, you bayou-bumpkin. It's just one move. I don't think Bruce Blank will go down to a crane kick of all things."


Blank stumbles backwards while Jimmy heads back to the ropes, and Doom flies through the air, nailing Bruce in the chest with a front kick.




The Hardcore champion bounces into the ropes and right into Jimmy's hands. Doom lifts him up, turns around and sits out with a powerbomb. Hogan slides in to count the pin.










"Blank kicked out of the Jimmy Bomb! He took a bit of a beating in a short span of time, but Bruce Blank is showing that he, too, doesn't go down easily."


"Good thing your wife isn't the same way! Ow!" King yells, as he's a bit too slow in dodging that punch from Longdogger.


Doom gets to his feet, slips behind a rising Blank, and latches on a head vice. Before Paul Hogan can even ask if he wishes to submit, Bruce threads his arms between Jimmy's and breaks free of the hold. The Hardcore champion spins around and rocks Doom with a big right hand, followed by another right. Blank shunts Jimmy into the ropes, lifts him up, and plants Doom with an inverted atomic drop. Bruce grabs the staggering Jimmy by his arm and pulls the Doomtopian in for a short-arm clothesline. Blank drops all of his weight on the downed Doom and Hogan slides in to count.










Blank gives Paul Hogan a murderous glare, but Crocodile Dundee simply stares back. Bruce gets up and pulls Jimmy into a sitting position before raining down a series of clubbing blows.


"The Fists of Fury! That should keep Jimmy the Doom down for a while," King says.


"Quite possibly, King, but Jimmy has proven that he's tougher than most."


Blank stops at exactly ten, though that may simply be coincidence, and violently pulls Jimmy the Doom backwards, slamming his head into the mat. Bruce lands a fist drop and makes a lateral press.










"I don't suppose you're going to admit to being wrong, huh?"


"Damn straight. What kind of idiot would do that?"


"Someone honest."


"Exactly. A moron. Like you, MacDougal."


Blank hauls Jimmy off the mat and knocks him backwards with a forearm to the face. Bruce grabs hold of Doom's wrist and whips him to the ropes. Jimmy the Doom races back and gets sent into the air with a back body drop. On the descent, the Hardcore champion blasts the Doomtopian with a right hand to the gut. Bruce heads for the ropes, bounces off, and drops a leg across Jimmy's back. Blank lifts Jimmy the Doom up and applies a standing head scissors.


"Could this be Sweet Home Alabama?" Pete wonders.


"I don't think so. Blank usually starts that in the corner," King points out.


Bruce picks Jimmy off the mat and rushes for the turnbuckles, slamming Doom into the corner. Blank changes his grip on Jimmy, lifts him up, and sets him on the top turnbuckle.


"If Bruce Blank does what I think he's going to do, I think this might be the end for Jimmy the Doom."


"Yes! First a turnbuckle powerbomb, and now a superplex!" King exclaims.


Blank climbs to the bottom rope, then the second, but before he can get a hold of Jimmy the Doom, Bruce eats a headbutt to the face. Bruce puts an end to the comeback with a right hand, and grabs hold of Jimmy. Blank lifts Doom up and simply falls backwards, sending both men crashing into the mat.




"What a superplex! That shook the ring!" Pete screams.


"Now just get up, Bruce, and make the cover, and the match is yours!" King shouts.


But Bruce isn't getting up, and surprisingly, neither is Jimmy the Doom, prompting Paul Hogan to begin a double disqualifying ten-count.






Bruce Blank, not having just taken a turnbuckle powerbomb and a superplex, slowly rolls onto his stomach.




Blank dives lunges forward, laying an arm across Jimmy's chest, forcing Hogan to slide down to count the pin.










"He kicked out! I cannot believe what Jimmy the Doom has taken, and yet he still keeps on fighting!"


"But not very well. There's no way that Jimmy the Doom can keep Bruce Blank down for the count, but it's only a matter of time before Jimmy the Doom doesn't get back up," King notes.


Blank gets to his feet and starts screaming at Paul Hogan over his counting speed. Hogan, not wanting to get his face punched in, tries to calm Bruce down with his funny Australian sayings, allowing Jimmy the Doom time to get up and sneak behind the Hardcore champion. Doom taps Blank on the shoulder, and as the big man wheels around, Jimmy buries a spin kick into his gut. Jimmy scrambles to the corner, springs off the second rope, twists around, and snares Blank in a cradle. Paul Hogan quickly slides down to count the pin.










"Jimmy the Doom almost stole one with the Majestic Cradle!" Longdogger shouts.


"Are you kidding MacDougal? Bruce Blank getting beaten with a cradle? Stop huffing gasoline, man," King replies.


"Hey! It's spray paint. I mean...shut your damn mouth," Pete shoots back.


Jimmy pulls Blank up, fires off a quick palm strike, and then whips the big guy into the ropes. Doom rockets for the adjacent set and dives, wrapping his arms around Bruce's thick waist. Jimmy the Doom rotates around and leaves his feet, sending the Hardcore champ into the mat. Well, sort of, as it's a bit late into the match, and Jimmy's taken quite a beating, so it's partly the Jimmy-Plex, but it's also Bruce Blank simply falling on top of Jimmy the Doom. Due to this fact, Paul Hogan drops down and begins to count the pin.










"KICKOUT! Jimmy the Doom just kicked out, oddly enough, after he landed his own Jimmy-Plex on Bruce Blank, but the big man stayed on top, and Doom just barely got his shoulder up in time," Pete says breathlessly.


"Damn it! I would have loved to see that idiot lose after actually initiating the offense," King mutters, crestfallen.


Blank slowly gets to his feet, and is followed soon after by Jimmy the Doom. Bruce throws a sloppy right hand, but it's still pretty strong, and gives Blank time to rocket Jimmy into the corner. Bruce stalks after Doom, pulls him out of the buckles, and scoops the Doomtopian off his feet.


"Is he going for another superplex?" Pete asks.


"I hope so. It should take care of Jimmy the Dumb," King replies.


"Come on, King. That was bad, even for your standards."


"Well, at least I've got standards, unlike your sister! Burnsauce!" King exclaims.


Blank flips Jimmy upside down and slams him into the buckles, locking Doom in a Tree of Woe.


"You know, I've always wondered why it's called the Tree of Woe. It doesn't resemble a tree at all," Pete muses.


"Well, if you're asking about that, what about a moonsault? There is no moon involved at all," King replies.


"Let's just agree that a lot of these moves have odd names."


"I only agree that your mother's a whore!"


The Hardcore champion admires his handiwork in trapping Jimmy the Doom, and procedes to kick him in the face several times, giving him the double-bird the whole time. Hogan quickly grabs Blank and pulls him away, warning him about such actions. Bruce nods his head, then walks back towards Jimmy and appears to be freeing the Doomtopian, but is in fact, jamming a boot into his throat. It takes Paul Hogan a few seconds to realize what's going on, and he starts a five count.












Blank stops the choke at the last possible second and releases Jimmy from the corner, letting him fall face-down on the mat. Bruce grabs Jimmy around the waist, picks him up, and falls backwards with a release German suplex. The Hardcore champion crawls forward and makes a lateral press on Jimmy the Doom.










"Jimmy the Doom kicked out again, and Bruce Blank looks very frustrated right now," Pete notes.


"Are you kidding? He's in firm control of the match. It's just taking a bit longer than expected."


However, judging by the look on Bruce Blank's face, if crying were a manly thing to do, he'd be sobbing right now over his inability to win this match. Blank pulls Jimmy to his feet and knocks him backwards with a stiff right hand, then boots him in the gut to double Doom over. Blank latches on a front facelock, then lifts Jimmy high into the air. Bruce pauses for a few seconds, allowing blood to pool in Jimmy's brain, then sits out with a powerbomb.


"BLANK BOMB! This has got to be the move that finishes the match!" Pete screams.


"Of course it is! There's no way Doom gets up after that."


Paul Hogan slides in to make the count, and a huge grin spreads across Blank's face, confident that the match is over.













"Oh my God, he got his shoulder up! Jimmy the Doom just kicked out of the Blank Bomb in the nick of time!"


"The hell he did! This match is over, damn it! Ring the bell!" King yells furiously.


Blank, too, feels that he's won the match and begins screaming at Paul Hogan that Jimmy didn't kick out in time. Hogan simply shows him two fingers, indicating that the match is still on. After a long arguement, Bruce turns around to find Jimmy the Doom is standing up. Blank eats a palm thrust, but responds with a punch to the stomach. The Hardcore champ applies a standing head scissor and lifts Jimmy off his feet.


"Well, the Blank Bomb didn't work, so could we be seeing 'Sweet Home Alabama'?" Pete wonders.


"I hope so. That had better put Jimmy the Doom down for the count," King replies.


Instead of heading for the corner, or running, however, Blank simply drives Jimmy into the mat with a powerbomb, but the big man isn't quite finished and lifts Doom back up. Bruce delivers a second powerbomb, but once again hauls Jimmy the Doom off the mat. Bruce attempts to complete the triple powerbomb, but Jimmy has a head vice latched on tightly, and is firing off headbutts, trying to stop Blank in his tracks.


"Can you believe it? Jimmy the Doom is fighting back! He is not going down without a fight!"


"Like that little effort will matter. Bruce Blank is going to powerbomb him possibly through the ring, and the match will be over."


Doom releases the head vice, but instead begins to smash palm strikes into Blank's face along with some headbutts. Jimmy leans back and then blasts Bruce with a double palm strike.




"Tim-ber! Bruce Blank goes down hard after getting his face rearranged by Jimmy the Doom."


"That idiot! How hard is it to just powerbomb someone and forget about getting hit in the face?"


"I don't know, King. Let's test that. You try to powerbomb me, and I'll punch you."


"As much as I'd love to destroy your spinal column, there's a slight chance you'll mess up my face, so I think I'll pass."


Jimmy remains on top of Blank, and Hogan astutely realizes that a pinning situation is at hand.










"Blank just got his shoulder up! This match could have ended after a failed powerbomb, but Bruce Blank kicked out."


"You are joking, right? You actually thought that Bruce Blank would lose this match after Jimmy the Doom basically fell on top of him? Yeah, that'll happen, around the same time Bobby Riley dates a woman."


Doom gets up, heads for the ropes, and hangs on, waiting for Blank to get up. It doesn't take long for Bruce to oblige, and Jimmy rushes the Hardcore champion, knocking him backwards with a dropkick. Jimmy scrambles to his feet, ducks a wild left hand, and buries a palm thrust in Blank's ribs. Doom darts to the ropes, rebounds back, avoids a clothesline from Bruce, and blindly shoots out his right leg, nailing the Hardcore champion in the back of the knee. Jimmy the Doom spins around and grabs Blank in a rear facelock, but is unable to lift him off the mat, so instead, he simply drops down with an inverted DDT.


"Jimmy the Doom was looking for the Doom Driver, which is an inverted cradle brainbuster, but Bruce Blank just proved to be too heavy, so he went with the much easier DDT," Pete explains.


"You sure he was going for the Doom Driver? Maybe he was going for a reverse suplex? Or a neckbreaker? You've got no idea, so just shut your hole!"


Jimmy gets up, waits on Blank, and snaps off a spin kick that dazes the big man. Doom closes in and drills Bruce with a palm thrust to the chin, snapping his head back. Jimmy locks in an arm wringer and lashes out with a knee to the gut.


"Doomsday! Jimmy the Doom has Bruce Blank set up for Doomsday!" Pete exclaims.


"No chance that it works, though! Bruce Blank can take anything Jimmy the Doom can dish out."


Jimmy follows up with a knee to the face, and then kicks Blank in the back of the leg. Doom snaps off another kick, but before he can land a third, Bruce Blank turns and nails Jimmy with a huge clothesline.


"See! Didn't I tell you?"


Bruce hauls Jimmy back up and knocks him backwards with a big uppercut. Blank closes in on the Doomtopian, but Jimmy shakes off the punch and leaps up, cracking Bruce with a headbutt. Jimmy races for the ropes, bounces back and jumps in the air, nailing Blank with a corkscrew flying elbow.




The only problem, in Jimmy's mind, at least, is that Bruce as a rear waistlock clamped on tight. Blank manages to grab Jimmy's leg and then falls backward, planting Doom and staying down for the pin attempt.










"He kicked out! Jimmy the Doom absolutely nailed Bruce Blank with that elbow, but Blank managed to wrap him up, and on the way down, hit that salto suplex, but Jimmy got his shoulder up just in time!" Pete exclaims.


"Well, don't worry, Bruce will put him away soon enough."


Jimmy the Doom slowly rises to his feet, Bruce Blank's abuse finally catching up to him. Jimmy attempts an Irish whip, but Bruce reverses it, and Doom rockets for the cables. Jimmy heads back towards Blank, ducks a clothesline attempt, and keeps on running. The Doomtopian bounces off the opposite strands and leaps into the air just as the Hardcore champion is turning around. Jimmy scissors Bruce around the waist, and throws on a front waistlock for good measure, but Blank doesn't budge.


"Jimmy the Doom going for a flying body scissors there, but Bruce Blank is just too big. Jimmy better get off and try something else, and quick."


"And what, Blank is just going to stand there and do nothing the entire time?" King asks.


Bruce doesn't simply stand there, though, he brings a huge fist down on top of Jimmy's skull, loosening Doom's grip. Blank takes hold of Jimmy's hair, holding his head back so Bruce can get a clean shot on his face. A third punch is enough to shake Doom off of Blank, but Bruce isn't finished and clamps down on Jimmy's forehead.


"Iron Claw! This could be the end of the match!" Pete exclaims.


"You're damn right it is. There's no way Jimmy the Doom can last long enough to escape the Iron Claw."


Paul Hogan rushes in to ask if Jimmy will submit, but doesn't get an answer as Doom begins sending a barrage of palm thrusts into Blank's ribcage. Bruce absorbs the blows as best he can, thankful of the layer of fat surrounding his vitals and squeezes harder on Jimmy's head. Doom's strikes slow, but now he's targeting Bruce's wrist, hoping to gain freedom that way, but Blank simply covers up with his free arm.


"Just about over..." King says gleefully.


Jimmy's knees start to sag and buckle, and his eyes close, prompting Paul Hogan to lift his right arm and release it. The limb falls limply to his side, and Hogan raises one finger in the air.




Hogan lifts the arm again, and once more, it drops.




The arm is raised for a third time, but Jimmy's eyes snap open and the appendage darts upward, hitting Bruce Blank directly in the throat. Bruce gags and sputters, and most importantly to Jimmy, releases the Iron Claw.


"Hand of Doom! Jimmy the Doom lashed out with that throat strike, and he's free from the Iron Claw! This is the opportunity he desperately needs to take advantage of!" Pete screams.


"No, damn it! How can that move even be considered legal!" King yells in frustration.


Doom hits the ropes and delivers a kick to Bruce's stomach, doubling the big man over.




"Flying snap kick! He just drilled Bruce Blank with a snap kick to the gut, and this match might be close to being over."


"Come on, you damn redneck! There's a deep-fried goat in it for you if you win!"


Jimmy pulls Blank away from the ropes by his hair and drops to the mat, driving Bruce face-first to the canvas.


"Doom Factor! This should be it!"


"I'll throw in some booze if you just get your fat ass off that mat!" King shouts.


Jimmy rolls Bruce over and hooks a leg.










Paul Hogan leaps to his feet and signals for the bell.




"Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of this match via pinfall, JIIIMMMYYY THE DOOOOOM!" Funyon booms.


Jimmy slides out of the ring and Lois the Unethical puts down the magazine she'd been reading the entire match, and, after collecting his hat, they walk up the ramp to the saxophonical sounds of "Yakety Sax".


"Jimmy the Doom has just pulled of a very impressive upset, beating the Hardcore champion, Bruce Blank, who, up until tonight, was undefeated in singles competition," Pete states.


"God damned rednecks," is all King can say.


Blank slowly gets up, angrily grabs his belt and hat, and proceeds to take out his frustrations on a few druids while Smarkdown fades out.

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Following the conclusion of the first match, which Wes Davenport has just witnessed on a nearby monitor, the former actor (forcibly) turned wrestler shakes his head, almost gasping for air as he sees the violence first hand. The pain doesn’t worry him, not as much as the damage to his face if he were to get into that ring.


His hand glides through his hair, a sign of his worriment as he turns around, head to the floor, hoping no one recognizes him. Luckily he’s not as well known as he thinks he is, and the many SWF employees simply brush by him.


With a note in hand, Davenport creeps up the corridors of the arena, until he finds the office of Thomas Flesher, the man who has put Davenport in this precarious predicament, which happened to be the name of Wes’ summer action blockbuster in ’98. The title alone assured it would go straight to video. The note simply reads:


“Dear Thomas Flesher,

I have cancer, and won’t be able to compete in wrestling for seven years, because it's a bad form of cancer.


And my cat died.


Yours truly,

Wes Davenport

(International Movie Star)”


Wes leans down, every so gently sliding the note under the door, as if the speed in which he does it will decide whether Flesher will see it or not, despite it being in full view. The last inch of the note disappears, and Davenport breathes a sigh of relief, feeling a huge weight lifted off of his mind.



That is, until the door opens.


“Well, if it isn’t my friend, Mr. Davenport!”

Edited by chirs3

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The camera pans over the raucous Plattsburg crowd filling the civic center before coming to rest on the familiar faces of Longdogger Pete and The Suicide King at the announcers table.


Pete smiles into the camera, "Welcome back to Smarkdown, SWF fans. Our next match tonight will feature a World Title contender in Todd Cortez face off against a...well... a slumping Marcus Ward in a one on one matchup."


King grimaces and responds quickly, "Longdogger, Ward is a LONG ways away from slumping, he's had a few bad breaks in recent match situations, however I hear he's taken some precautions for this match in an attempt to head off any future embarrassing losses like the one on Lockdown just five days ago."


Pete responds, "Well King, lets show the viewers at home exactly what you're talking about, just in case they forgot to tune in!"


Burlington, Vermont's boisterous crowd can be heard first as the Smarktron replay begins rolling footage of the Nightmare Express v. Cucharacha International. The replay shows "The Dean of Professional Wrestling" delivering a nasty 'would be illegal in the nfl' style chop block that sends Ward crashing to the match clutching his knee. A widening of the camera angle shows Blank charging the ring, Hawke keeping him at bay and Landon Maddix slipping a cover on Ward...who doesn't even managed a kickout attempt as the referee makes the three count!!!


King shakes his head as he the replay fades out, "Landon must have slapped him across the head with a crowbar, as that's the only way that buffoon could have gotten a pin on Ward..."


Longdogger Pete comments, "Well King, apparently Ward was so distracted by his seriously injured knee, that he forgot to kick out. Or that's his story, he's been pretty quiet since then other than a few choice words after the match. But tonight on he'll get his chance once again...as a matter of fact here comes Funyon to make the wrestler introductions!"




"Introducing first, weighing in at Two Hundred and Forty-Nine pounds hailing from The Free State of Bavaria... Marcus "The Mastermind" WAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRDDDDDD"


Suddenly some jazzy hip-hop music starts filling the arena...The song "Mastermind" by NYC rapper Nas begins playing.














"A mastermind - sees it coming before it comes"



A man wrapped in a gold sequinned cloak walks out of the entranceway.



"A mastermind - before he go to war he counts his one"



The cloaked man lifts a single finger in the air.



"A mastermind - everything planned out perfect, in case y'all niggaz got to get murdered."



Marcus Ward reveals himself as that line is playing, lifting his head up so he can tap finger to forehead as is his signature taunt...and then begins to make his stroll to the ring.



"A mastermind - sleeps at night, real easy"



Marcus seems a bit off-kilter tonight as he reaches to his left knee, a heavily wrapped knee that has been fitted with a hard-plastic brace.



"A mastermind - cause everything he does is by the book"



Ward rubs his knee a bit and seems to adjust the wrappings slightly as he finishes hobbling to the ring.




"A mastermind - never do a thing irrational, lives forever, these tales are classical."



"The Mastermind" uses the steps to enter the ring tonight as his music fades out with a few hiphop beats. Ward's pace is so slow, that he's just reached the ring apron when Funyon begins the second introduction...



"And introducing his opponent...at a weight of Two Hundred and Twenty-Six pounds, from Hollywood Boooooulllevvvaaaaaard. "URBAN LEGEND"... TODD CORTEZZZZZZZZZ!!!!"



Plattsburg, New York EXPLODES as Mos Def hits the sound system with "Oh no" the signature entrance music for the much adored "Urban Legend" Todd Cortez!!!!


Todd Cortez makes his way to the ring slapping hands with a gaggle of fans, slight smile on his face as for at least one night, Todd has managed to put Landon Maddix in the back of his head and enjoy SWF glory!



Longdogger Pete remarks, "Tremendous reaction for The Urban Legend, as he's stil one of the most popular stars of the SWF"


Suicide King chuckles, "He may be popular, but once the bell rings, the popularity contest is over and skill becomes the deciding factor!"


"You think so King? Many of the legends of the business won their best matches due to crowd support..." queries Pete


King dismisses Longdogger, "Legends of the BUSINESS...not the RING! Watch The Mastermind show you the difference tonight Pete!!!!"







The match begins at Official Eddy Long's signal, and the last bell echo is still ringing off the arena walls when Ward tackles Todd Cortez with a vicious shoulder block, bringing The Urban Legend to the mat and straddling his chest. Ward begins pummelling Cortez with vicious elbows from the straddle position using the significant weight advantage to pound the off-guard Cortez into oblivion!















Pete gapes, "Elbow after elbow raining down upon Cortez's skull!!! Ward just has no care for his opponents safety as he attempts to batter Todd to unconsciousness...Eddy Long fortunately has stepped between the two competitors and forcibly separated the two, however!"



King sounds gleeful as he comments, "This match has started off like a mixed martial arts blowout, and only the rules of wrestling have saved Cortez from being a bloody pulp during that ground and pound display...in fact he hasn't been fully rescued as he's clearly got several cuts from those wicked Ward 'bows!!!"




Ward spits on the ground and raises both arms in the air, head tilted toward the ceiling as he lets loose a primal scream...this ugly taunt elliciting a deep bass BOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! from the crowd that shows their disfavor with Marcus Ward's savage beating of the fan favorite.



"Unusual show of emotion from The Mastermind as he really has let go to start this match, clearly wanting to start strong after his disappointing showing lately.." comments Longdogger Pete.


King chuckles, "Just a part of the plan Pete. The MasterPlan."



Marcus wastes no time capitalizing on his early dominance by executing several stiff foot stomps right to the bloody face of Todd Cortez. His feet smear the blood over Todd's face adding insult to the stinging injuries. Ward continues his offensive with a stiff throat-choking grip on Cortez, using his impressive strength to lift the smaller man up to his feet...and up into the air, SLAMMING Cortez to the canvas with a chokeslam!!!!



The fans attempt to express their displeasure with another round of booing, but the sound seems stuck in their throats as they realize just how powerful "The Mastermind" can be. Ward maintains his grip on Cortez's throat and lifts him up onto his feet...this time releasing the choke and running away from Todd and into the ropes, gathering momentum for a rushing right knee lifted straight ot the midsection strike...that never connects as Ward's left knee buckles as soon as his right foot lifts off the ground sending him skidding across the mat eyes looking at the lights and ears hearing a chorus of laughter from the derisive crowd!!!



Longdogger reflects, "Despite the aggressive start, it's going to be a battle for Ward tonight. Perhaps not with Cortez, but with his own physical limitations. I suppose the real question we must ask is: Can Marcus Ward finish this match with the knee injury. I just don't know of a move in his repertoire that could take Cortez out without the knee buckling!!!"



King grumbles, "That's why he's The Mastermind, he's prepared for these situations!"



Ward clutches at the braced and wrapped knee as he backs along the canvas to the corner where he can grab the ropes to leverage himself onto his feet once again...only to receive a stiff european uppercut to the chin from a very aware and very angry Todd Cortez. Ward seems unfaze by the first uppercut, so Cortez repeats it several times...to no apparent effect as Ward just shakes it off and counters with a surprising headbutt to send Cortez reeling to the center of the ring! Marcus makes no attempt to move as he's holding himself up by the ropes...and that costs him as Cortez recovers quickly and executes a DRIVING side kick right into his forehead creating a whiplash affect on his neck that incites huge applause amongst the pro-Todd crowd!!!



Pete winces, "Multiple martial arts kicks to the face of Ward, as he's awoken the sleeping dragon of Todd Cortez! The urban Legend may be covered in a mask of blood, but he's not distracted from the singular task of dissecting Marcus Ward!"



Cortez wastes no time moving from the series of kicks into a HARD irish whip across the ring into the other corner, dropping Ward to his feet as the impact buckles his knee. Todd takes the opportunity of position to race across the ring and apply a humiliating and painful Bronco Buster on Marcus Ward, the crowd immediately counting with the move!!!

































Todd wastes no time pressing Ward's shoulders to the mat for a quick cover, hoping to catch The Mastermind unawares for the easy win!











THREE!!!... NO!!!!



Eddy Long wastes no time pointing out the foot resting on the ropes that broke the pinfall, a fact that defuses the crowd's excitement...but only momentarily as Cortez continues his offense with a swift stomp to Wards' already injured knee.



Suicide King rants, "Talk about kicking a man when he's down...Todd Cortez has no compassion for the common man. And look at these savages in the audience, the audacity to CHEER for this man as he attempts to rob Marcus Ward of his career. Unbelievable!"


Pete replies, "If he wasn't ready to take the punishment King, I really don't think he should have come out here at all...and he certainly should not have started this match by making Todd Cortez bleed!"



The Urban Legend continues his assault on Ward's weak leg with a series of stomps before dragging him off the ground and applying a standing head scissors on Ward's neck leading to a huge pop in the crowd as they realize what's about to happen...Cortez makes no wasted motion as he quickly leaps over Ward's back for the Riot Act Plus...and is thwarted by the simple fact that Marcus Ward's leg has just buckled underneath Cortez's weight, sending Todd Cortez slowly sliding down Ward's back to the canvas without the momentum to pull him over for the finish. Todd stands up with a look of disbelief as he realizes his own aggressiveness may have cost him the sure victory.



King chuckles, "Even The Mastermind's 'weaknessess' are to his advantage!"


Pete shakes his head, "Now they are...but if he can't even hold up under that much pressure, there's little hope of getting Todd Cortez up into Total Control tonight!"


As Ward attempts to stand back up, Todd Cortez holds his position a few feet away eyeing up the nearly crippled Mastermind. Todd seems to weigh his options as he observes Marcus struggling to make his feet even with the aid of the ropes...only to be POUNCED on by The Urban Legend right in his bad knee, bending it in a way it was not meant to go!!! Cortez quickly capitalizes on the situation and makes a cover...














"A weak kickout by Marcus Ward allows him to avoid defeat. That move was eerily similar to the chop block he fell to at Lockdown, and it would have been quite embarrasing to lose two matches in a row in such a fashion!" remarks Longdogger Pete


Todd shakes his head and continues his domination of this match with yet another stomp to that knee, determined to minimize what little chance Ward had of defeating him tonight. Applying a quick rear chinlock, Cortez wastes no time resting before pulling his nearly lame opponent up to his feet, then quickly switching to a reverse waistlock. Taking advantage of Ward's lack of awareness, Cortez hefts the larger man up onto his shoulders right into a canadian backbreaker position...





...and drops him to the canvas with a Neckwrecker drop that sends shivers up the spines of every single onlooker as they can imagine the pressure applied to Marcus Ward's neck and spine from the sick-looking maneuver. Todd Cortez barely notices the reaction as he makes a lazy cover attempt.















Even a lazy attempt from The Urban Legend almost pins his challenger, and that gives him the confidence to make a second try with the left leg hooked for additional leverage...















...and Ward manages a kick out at the last moment yet again with Cortez standing up in frustration before realizing he hooked the wrong leg and has let yet another opportunity slip by.




Suicide King comments, "Marcus is biding his time well here, Pete, and will find his opening soon enough!"



"Possibly King, but he might want to make his move sooner rather than later as Cortez is lining him up for another big strike, and this one may take him down for good!" replies Pete.


Cortez watches Marcus carefully from across the ring, waiting patiently as his battered opponent struggles to make his feet...






...only to be dropped down to one knee by a running european uppercut that whips that neckwrecked head back sharply, clearly causing some sort of damage as Marcus just sits on one knee eyes glazed from the blow.


Pete remarks curiously, "Strange how that uppercut he shrugged off earlier is so devastating now, maybe the Neckwrecker did some sort of internal damage. Cortez seems to have the same idea as he's going to the top with every intention of finishing this."



The Urban Legend reaches the top rope and looks to arena over before signalling quite clearly that he plans on executing his Shooting Star Lariat!!! Plattsburg is absolutely thrilled at the prospects of seeing Todd Cortez fly tonight, and they let him know! Cortez places his feet on the ropes carefully, then springs into the air...











...just as his intended target makes it to his feet?!?




Marcus Ward makes his feet just as Cortez takes off, and is clearly not nearly as dazed as he let on, as he has the presence of mind to brace his good leg off behind him as he prepares for some sort of impact! Cortez executes the backflip with gymnast precision before outstretching his arm for the finishing touch of the SSPL. Todd descends towards Ward arm outstrecteched, either unaware of his bluff, or simply cocky enough to believe The Mastermind has no counter!!!



Longdogger Pete shouts, "SOMETHING's GONNA HAPPEN!!!"



The crowd roars for Cortez as all they want to see is Ward's neck snap in half.



"Urban Legend" Todd Cortez dives towards Marcus with outstretched arm....only to have it ducked under and Ward to get a mathematically impossibly swift waistlock around Cortez and redirect Todd's momentum into a full-over belly-to-belly suplex......WITH A BRIDGE!!!!





















The air sucked from the crowd as what could have been the music of their celebration...is now the bells of their eulogy.







Marcus Ward rolls out of the ring after his amazing counter-suplex victory, tapping finger to temple with one hand, massaging his swollen knee with the other as The Mastermind by Nas plays out on the PA system in perfect harmony with the booing fans of Plattsburg...and the extremely frustrated curses of Todd Cortez.



Longdogger Pete comments in amazement, "Somehow a severely injured Marcus ward pulled out a victory against a bonified World Title Contender...without ever really hurting him!"


King chides Longdogger, "He bloodied him in the beginning, and pinned him in the end. What happens in the middle is going to be lost to time, for as we've seen tonight the things that count are those that happen closest to the bell!"


Pete shakes his head, "Wrestling Philosophy? Whatever it was, Todd Cortez should feel little shame in losing as he's proven he's physically capable to take on Extreme Luchadore Magnifico, though he'll need a better gameplan than he had tonight to come out of that match with a win!"


The camera pans from ringside showing The Urban Legend still in the ring shaking his head as he watches Ward limp backwards up the ramp with that annoying smile on his face, the words of Nas ringing throughout the arena for all to hear...




"A Mastermind - sees it coming before it comes"





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Pete: “And as we return to an already action-packed episode of Smarkdown, we’re getting ready for Tag Team Championship action!”


King: “Why must the championship committee always book tag team matches just to give me mixed emotions? I hate Wildchild but can occasionally handle Johnny Dangerous. I like Jay Hawke but would rather have my eyes gouged out with a spork than ever see Landon Maddix in action again. And now I’ve got to sit here and watch these four men fight for the tag team titles?”


Pete: “Indeed, the team of Wild and Dangerous, who have been at odds off and on for what seems like a year at this point…”


King: “…mostly because it’s been pretty damn close to that…”


Pete: “…are set to defend their World Tag Team Championships against Jay Hawke and Landon Maddix, who are fresh off their somewhat controversial victory over the Nightmare Express at Lockdown.”


King: “Can we just make this Johnny Dangerous against Jay Hawke and be done with it?”


Pete: “Unless Funyon knows something we don’t, then no.”


King: “Dammit.”


Funyon: “Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall with a 30-minute time limit, and it is for the SWF World Tag Team Championship!”















The soft guitar intro to Incubus' "Megalomaniac" hits and suddenly Landon Maddix is bursting through the curtains. Followed by the International Champion, Jay Hawke, Maddix holds his arms to the side and soaks up the boos of the fans. Not with glee. More with just to let them know he's not bothered.


Funyon: "Introducing first, the challengers. At a total combined weight of four hundred, thirty seven pounds... Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix and the SWF International Champion, "The Dean Of Professional Wrestling" Jay Hawke... and they represent... CCUUUUUCCAAAARRRAAAAACCHHHHHAAAA... IIIINNTTEEEERRRRNNAAAACCIIIIOOOONNAAAAALLLLLLL!!!!"




Maddix jogs up the steps and vaults into the ring, while Jay calls over a ring attendant to take his robe from him. Hawke then enters the ring, and the two members of Cucaracha Internacional head into their corner and wait for their opponents, discussing their strategy the whole time.


Pete: “What kind of strategy could the challengers be discussing?”


King: “If I know Landon, he’ll ask Hawke to do all the dirty work and then he’ll tag himself in and get the glory. That’s been the pattern his entire career.”


The music changes to “Fuel My Fire” by the Prodigy.


Funyon: “And their opponents…at a total combined weight of 431 pounds…and accompanied to the ring by Melissa Fasaki…they are the reigning and defending SWF World Tag Team Champions…WILLLLLLLLDCHILLLLLLLLLLD…JOHNNNNNNNNNNY DANNNNNNNNNNGEROOOOOOOOOOOOOOUSSSSSSSSSS…WILLLLLLLLLLD AND DANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGEROUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!”



The challengers make their way to the ring, with Wildchild and Melissa Fasaki leading the way, Johnny Dangerous a step or two behind him. Wildchild is shaking hands with those fans who are still willing to and smiling at them, but Johnny Dangerous remains stoic. Wildchild turns to his partner, who is suddenly smiling and shaking hands with the fans. As the fastest wrestler in the SWF turns back toward the ring, the Barracuda stops shaking hands and regains the stoic look on his face.


Pete: “Did you see that, King?”


King: “Johnny Dangerous just went and tried to make the fans happy when Wildchild was looking at him, and as soon as Wildchild turned his back, we have serious Johnny Dangerous back. And Wildchild, being almost as naïve as a 16-year-old girl in the backseat of a Lincoln Continental on prom night, has absolutely no idea what’s going on.”


As the champions hand their championship belts to referee Scott Ryder, Jay Hawke and Landon Maddix continue to discuss their strategy in the corner. Johnny Dangerous steps onto the apron as per usual Wild and Dangerous custom, and after some deliberation, Jay Hawke steps onto the apron as Ryder holds the title belts above his head.


Pete: “And we appear to be ready for Tag Team Championship action here.”


King: “And thank God for that.”


Pete: “Ready to see an action-packed contest?”


King: “No. Ready to go home and get schnockered. I need about 15 beers after any Landon Maddix match.”






Pete: “And this contest is officially underway!”


King: “Wow, brilliant deduction Watson. You sure you’re not psychic?”


Wildchild and Landon Maddix circle each other around the ring. As Wildchild gets to the challengers’ corner, he throws a mock back kick just to make sure Jay Hawke isn’t looking for a cheap shot. The two legal men then lock up in the center of the ring, with Wildchild immediately locking in a side headlock. Maddix backs into the ropes, then shoves Wildchild forward, who comes back and knocks La Cucaracha to the mat with a shoulder tackle. Landon immediately gets to his feet as Wildchild runs into the ropes again. Landon belly-flops to the mat to allow Wildchild to run over top of him, but thanks to Wildchild’s exceptional speed, Maddix has barely gotten to his feet before the Bahama Bomber levels him in the face with a flying back elbow smash. The force of the move knocks Landon Maddix down, and Maddix immediately rolls out of the ring and walks to his corner to regroup.


Pete: “And you’re seeing the speed of Wildchild coming into play in the early going here.”


King: “And the best part about that flying elbow to the face is that it’s not going to hurt Landon Maddix’s looks any. I’m sure Kelly Connelly would agree with me.”


Jay Hawke hops off the apron and puts an arm around his tag team partner, whispering in his ear what to do next. Maddix nods and rolls back into the ring before the referee can complete his ten count.


King: “And here’s the only good thing I’ll say about Landon Maddix tonight. At least he’s got Jay Hawke with him to be the brains of this outfit, because that’s what will give them the best odds of winning.”


Landon and Wildchild lock up again. This time it’s Landon who quickly moves into the side headlock. Wildchild backs into the ropes and shoves Landon toward the opposite side. Wildchild immediately does his own belly flop to the mat. Landon rebounds off the other side of the ropes, but he is immediately brought down with a lightning-fast arm drag takedown, and Wildchild quickly hangs onto an armbar. A frustrated Maddix pounds the mat, but Wildchild quickly drags him to his feet and heads to the corner, making the tag to Johnny Dangerous.


Pete: “The champions make the first tag of the match, and I’m sure we can expect to see their usual brand of double teaming here.”


King: “And leave it to Landon to actually screw up Jay Hawke’s advice. What an idiot!”


Johnny comes in and grabs Landon’s other arm. The champions whip Landon in the rope, taking him down with a double hiptoss as he comes back towards them. Both men then make a move to the challengers’ corner, catching Jay Hawke with a double right hand to keep Hawke from even thinking about coming in to save his partner.


King: “You know, as I watch Wildchild return to the apron here, I can’t help but think he’s a hypocrite. I mean, he doesn’t like cheating to win, but what do you call all the double teaming the champions do?”


Pete: “They have a five count before they’re disqualified.”


King: “And why do they have a five count? Because it’s cheating!”


Landon Maddix rolls to his feet as Jay Hawke angrily looks back at the champions’ corner. The legal men move in for a lockup, but La Cucaracha kicks the Barracuda in the gut instead. A right hand backs Johnny into the wrong corner. Hawke hooks Johnny’s arms from behind, and Landon charges forward with an elbow…..








…only for Dangerous to side step at the last moment, forcing Maddix’s elbow to catch Hawke in the chin and knock the challenger off the apron. Dangerous backs up toward the center of the ring as Landon looks down at his partner in disbelief.


King: “And once again, that idiot Landon can’t do anything right! I’m glad I put my money down on Wild and Dangerous tonight. I’m going to be a rich man before this one is over!”


Jay Hawke hops back onto the apron and points at Johnny Dangerous, yelling, “Not me! Him!”


Pete: “And in the early going of this contest, it’s Maddix and Hawke having problems with Wild and Dangerous faring very well as a team.”


King: “Well, this is only the third time Hawke and Maddix have teamed up, so it could be a lack of chemistry. Or it could just be the fact that Maddix is a moron.”


Pete: “How much longer are you going to insult Landon Maddix?”


King: “How much time is left in this match?”


Again they look to lock up, but again La Cucaracha kicks the former secret agent in the stomach. Hawke reaches in and grabs Dangerous by the arms. Even though it’s failed once, Landon decides to charge in again, but he’s grabbed by Wildchild. Landon reaches back and snap mares Wildchild into the ring. Landon tries to whip the Bahama Bomber into his partner, but Wildchild reverses it, and the Barracuda once again moves out of the way just in time. Landon runs into Hawke, once again knocking him off the ring apron, and Landon turns around and walks right into a double super kick.


Pete: “Super Chicklet Buster! That could do it right here.”


Johnny Dangerous goes for the cover, and after making sure Wildchild is back on the apron, Scott Ryder slides in to make the count:











Pete: “But only the count of two.”


King: “Much too early, even for somebody who sucks as much as Landon Maddix.”


Hawke gets back to the apron and extends his hand. Maddix immediately tags out, and all Suicide King can say is “Thank God, maybe this will get good.” Hawke and Dangerous lock up, but Hawke breaks the tieup with a knee to the gut. A series of knees to the midsection and ribs follows, and Jay Hawke immediately locks Dangerous in an abdominal stretch.


Pete: “Abdominal stretch. Not normally a move in Jay Hawke’s playbook, but…”


King: “If you even break out a Wilbur Snyder reference, you’re not leaving this table alive.”


Jay Hawke reaches back toward his corner, and Landon Maddix grabs a hold of the Dean of Professional Wrestling’s hand to provide added leverage.




Some of the crowd screams in protest, but by the time Scott Ryder decides to check on it, Landon has let go of Hawke’s hand and appears to be casually watching from the corner.


Pete: “Landon illegally providing leverage for Hawke there! Make them break the hold!”


King: “And for the first time in this match, Maddix actually did something right.”


With Ryder back to asking Dangerous for the submission, Landon once again provides the International Champion with some additional leverage. Unfortunately, the referee is a lot more alert this time, and he sees the infraction and orders Jay Hawke to release the hold.


King: “I spoke too soon.”


Hawke gets a solid elbow to the ribs of Johnny Dangerous before he begrudgingly releases the hold. He reaches for the abdominal stretch again, but Johnny quickly hiptosses him over. Hawke is quickly to his feet, and the Barracuda is right there to lock in a side headlock. Hawke backs into the ropes and sends the first-ever International Champion into the other side the ropes. Maddix tries to get in a cheap shot, but the Barracuda stops and forearms Landon off of the ring apron. However, that leaves his back turned to the Dean of Wrestling, who drives a knee to the back of Dangerous, sending him through the ropes to the outside.


Pete: “A hard knee to the back, and that might be the move the challengers needed to keep this one in control.”


King: “And if Hawke and Maddix can keep this match at their pace, we could see the title change tonight.”


Jay Hawke distracts Scott Ryder as Landon and Johnny stand up next to each other. La Cucaracha levels Dangerous with a forearm smash that echoes throughout the arena, then rolls him back into the ring. Hawke is right there to pick the Barracuda up and drives Johnny’s back onto Hawke’s knee, only to hold him and drive his back onto the knee again. Hawke lets go and immediately drops into a cover, hooking the left leg:











Pete: “A couple of backbreakers for a near fall, and the strategy of the challengers is apparently to work on the back of Johnny Dangerous.”


King: “I think the strategy was to work over somebody, regardless of who it is, and keep them away from their partner. You know, normal tag team strategy.”


Jay Hawke tags Landon Maddix back in and almost instantaneously Irish whips the Barracuda. The Dean takes Johnny down with a drop toehold, and Landon immediately follows that up with an elbow drop to the back of the neck. As Hawke returns to the ring apron, Landon rolls Johnny over and covers:











Pete: “Another near fall, and it appears that whatever chinks had been left in the armor of the challengers have been straightened out.”


King: “And I still don’t know whether to be happy about that or not.”


Landon locks in a front facelock, then makes the tag to Jay Hawke. As Jay Hawke ascends to the top rope, Landon takes Johnny down with a swinging neck breaker, and Hawke is right there to come off the top with a diving head BUTT into the left shoulder. Johnny instantly favours the usual target of The Dean as Hawke immediately goes for the pin:











Pete: “More double teaming, and another near fall.”


As Longdogger Pete astutely tells us what we just saw, Hawke is picking Dangerous up to his feet. He catches the Barracuda with a couple of forearm smashes, then whips him into the ropes, only to bring him down with a power slam as he comes back in. Hawke immediately covers and hooks the leg again:











Pete: “And again a count of two. The challengers are doing whatever it takes to get a real run at these titles.”


King: “And after all the wars Jay Hawke has had with Johnny Dangerous and Wildchild over not only these tag team titles, but also with Dangerous over the International Title, Hawke has never scored the victory over these two opponents. You know he wants the chance to avenge his losses at From the Fire and in the International Title tournament once and for all. Why not get some gold in the process?”


Jay Hawke picks Johnny Dangerous up in a body slam position, then tags in his partner, telling him “head up top”. Hawke then takes Dangerous down with a brutal shoulder breaker. Landon sets himself up on the turnbuckle and after a look of destain down on Dangerous, he leaps...



...but his frog splash might as well be into an empty swimming pool, because nobody’s there when he lands.





Pete: “Johnny Dangerous widely moving out of the way there, and that could turn this match back in the champions’ favor!”


King: “Tagging in Maddix was what turned the tide of the match! When are you going to learn that?”


The crowd cheer more for Landon's failure than Johnny's safety and now, with both men down, the crowd aren't sure how to react. Most seem indifferent to Johnny's crawl to his corner and Wildchild's attempt at rallying the crowd. Indeed, while some do react to Wildchild's turnbuckle slamming, a minority are even booing. But nonetheless, Johnny makes the corner and tags in The Bahama Bomber! Maddix hasn't reached the corner...or attempted to, getting to his feet and swinging wildly at the charging Wildchild. Wildchild ducks the arm though, leaping onto the top rope behind Landon and Pinballing back into him as he turns!!


Pete: "Trademark Pinball wizardry from Wildchild!"


King: "If by trademark you mean 'yawn, seen it all before', then yes, I agree."


Wildchild pulls himself up, in time to meet the on-rushing Jay Hawke with a back elbow. Hawke stays on his feet, but is dazed enough for Wildchild to follow up instantaneously, whipping his far leg around and catching Hawke across the forehead with a Gamengiri! Away collapses Hawke, down but not out of the ring. So Scott Ryder interjects himself and tries to get Hawke safely out of the ring...







...which, with Landon Maddix around, is pretty naive.


Pete: "Damnit, lowblow behind the referee's back! When will these zebra-men learn?"


Collapsing to his knees, Wildchild tries to catch his breath again as Maddix shakes off the effects on the Pinball. Meanwhile, Johnny has entered the ring. With Hawke out now though, Ryder has turned around and quickly stops Johnny from interjecting himself, The Barrcuda's protests falling on deaf-ears. Infact, all Johnny does is distract the referee some more, allowing Maddix to lift up Wildchild and hot-shot him throat-first across the top rope! Wildchild coughs and splutters on the mat, as Maddix makes a cover and waits for Ryder to return...










Johnny saves, to a mixed reaction!


Pete: "Whether you agree with Johnny's recent tactics or not, you have to admire the determination he has not to give up on the World Tag Team Title reign, after so many months. The desire, even on this fourth reign, is still there!"


King: "*yawns* Oh look, an exclusive interview with Tom Cruise."


Pete: "Ooh, let me see!"


As the crack commentating team fight over the latest edition of "Sellout" magazine, Maddix pulls Wildchild to his feet in the ring and tags in Hawke. Recovered seemingly, Hawke clubs Wildchild in the spine as he enters before Cucaracha Internacional set up a double-team. Together, Hawke and Maddix both apply inverted front facelocks. And together, they then drop out, driving Wildchild down onto a knee a-piece! Wildchild writhes in pain, Maddix keeping an eye on Johnny as Hawke covers...











Shoulder up!


Pulling Wildchild to a seated position, Hawke hooks Wildchild's arm behind his head with a modification of an abdominal stretch. Maddix applauds the move, probably unable to tell it apart from a wristlock, but impressed nonetheless.


Pete: "Smart move from Hawke, slowing Wildchild down and keeping him grounded. I don't think there's a wrestler in the SWF who can match speed with Wildchild."


King: "Must be all that running from border patrol..."


Pete: "King, PLEASE!"


Hawke wrenches back on Wildchild's arm some more and encourages the crowd to get behind the champion. Still some aren't so sure, but parts of the crowd do begin to clap in support of The Bahama Bomber. Trouble is, Hawke decides to clap along. And, by clap, I mean slap Wildchild's unprotected chest with his free hand, turning the area noticeably red. Abruptly, the claps stop and are replaced with boos for Hawke, who reaches up and lets Maddix tag back in. Entering the ring, Maddix measures the still helpless Wildchild and stomps him in the unprotected ribs...twice, before Hawke releases the hold and leaves the ring on 4. Maddix now has Wildchild down and measures him for a stomp. And another. Maddix then points to Johnny, for no particular reason...attracting Ryder's attention and allowing him to BOOTSCRAPE~! Wildchild undetected!




Pete: "Now, that's just uncalled for!"


King: "At least he didn't chopblock him..."


Pete: "..."


King: "What? Those things are deadly!"


Innocent as can be, Landon doesn't seem to know why Wildchild is suddenly clawing furiously at his red, watering eyes. Ryder does, but can't really call what he didn't see, no matter how strong his suspiscion. So, Maddix is free to pick Wildchild back up...







...and rifle him with a knifedge chop. Wildchild takes the strike and asks for more defiantly...







...and gets it, leaving him gasping for breath. Confident, Maddix smiles as he tags in Hawke and the duo whip Wildchild into the ropes. Back shoots Wildchild, as Maddix and Hawke look for a double clothesline. But Wildchild ducks, hitting the ropes again. Turning on their heels, Cucaracha Internacional try again...and fail again, Wildchild diving onto their linked hands and pulling Hawke and Maddix into each other! Maddix and Hawke clock heads and stagger around, as Wildchild backs up...and tags in Johnny!


Or, rather, Johnny tags himself in, confusing Wildchild somewhat.


Pete: "Johnny back in, although I don't think he's fully rested! His right arm is dangling to his side somewhat. But he's in nonetheless!"


Johnny steams in, ignoring his partner's bemusement and running through Maddix and Hawke with a double clothesline! Both men go down, but so does Johnny, holding his right arm. He soon shakes off the pain though and brings Hawke up. Grabbing the wrist, Johnny whips Hawke off the ropes and sends him towards the lights with a HIGH back body drop! Maddix quickly rolls out of the ring to avoid being next, as Johnny fires up the crowd...to, little reaction.


King: "I thought holding shows in carparks was bad...now we're holding one in a morgue?"


Ignoring the lack of support, Johnny pulls up Hawke in a front facelock. Over goes the arm and then over goes Hawke, with a quick vertical suplex. Holding on, Johnny then pulls up Hawke and takes him over with a second vertical. Pulling up Hawke again, Johnny is after a third rolling vertical. Into the ring slides Maddix though, sneakily but not sneakily enough as Johnny spots him. Maddix is already in motion though, firing off a Maddix-Kick...but Johnny uses his Secret Agentness to duck, waiting for Maddix to turn before Shotei-ing his face into his skull!!


Johnny: "THAT'S IT!"


With Maddix out, Johnny gives the universal sign that it's OVAH~, before turning to Jay Hawke. The International Champion is slowly picking himself up. And Johnny stalks behind, waiting for Hawke to reach his feet, before snatching him from behind and spinning Hawke around...






Suddenly, the crowd go nuts, as Hawke leaps backwards out of Johnny's weak, right armed grip and falls behind, applying a sudden chickenwing!


King: "He's going for The Wing Span!"


Pete: "You're awake then."


King: "Hey, good wrestlers'll do that...C'MON JAY!"


Johnny fights and flails, knowing that if he's taken down, he's in trouble. Luckily, his frantic flailing works and just as Wildchild is ready to save, his partner proves his doesn't need it, escaping the chickenwing and HITTING the MI Slam, albeit barely!!




As Hawke comes to a rest, Johnny crawls over and manages to make a cover...













SAVE by Maddix!




But in mid-tirade, Maddix goes hurtling backwards, through the ropes and to the outside from a Wildchild running dropkick!


King: "Oh, how many times I've wanted that to happen while he's been running his mouth!"


Maddix lands with a thump on the arena floor and Wildchild is ready to follow up with a dive, as Johnny pulls Hawke to his feet. Hooking Hawke up, Johnny calls his partner over, looking for another, W&D patented double-team. But Wildchild doesn't seem to hear his partner and runs right past him, soaring through the ropes and...




...MISSING a Suicide Dive!!




As his partner crashes and burns, Johnny pushes Hawke away and looks over the ropes with concern briefly, before remembering he has an opponent in the ring. An opponent who is up and fires out a Roundhouse Kick. Quick as a cat though, Johnny ducks the kick and retaliates with one of his own - the Johnny Kick, catching Hawke flush in the jaw!




Hawke collapses dramatically, as Johnny takes a last glance at Wildchild before covering Hawke...














Maddix pulls Johnny off Hawke...






Pete: "From out of nowhere...Maddix makes the save again and turns probable defeat into possible victory for Cucaracha Internacional!!"


King: "Wait...what's he doing? He can't even apply his own finishing move properly!"


Pete: "Uh...that's a good question, what IS he doing!?!"


The cameras pick up on the commentators and quickly zoom in on the hold, showing that rather than use a conventional Dragon Clutch, Maddix has Johnny's right arm pinned behind his back as well as the inverted front facelock, leaving him in a lot more pain!


Pete: "That's almost a 'Chickenwing' Land Of Nod, if such a thing exists. Jay Hawke's influence must be rubbing off, because that's actually a smart, technical wrestling hold!"


King: "I'm as shocked as you."


Maddix wrenches on both neck and head, Johnny crying out in pain as his shoulder is being ripped and torn at by The Next Generation. Leaning back with all he's got left, Maddix is begging for Johnny to give up, already wrenching and tearing impatiently at Dangerous' upper body as if he's running out of time. Which he may be, as on the outside, Wildchild is recovering, ready to make the save. Maddix can see this and applies more force despairingly, as Wildchild stands up...





...and collapses, holding his right knee!


Pete: "Oh no! Johnny is helpless and his only hope, Wildchild, is hurt on the floor!"


King: "Quick, somebody chopblock him!"


The fans don't really want to route for Johnny, after all he's done recently, but for the sake of hatin' on Maddix, they do. Maddix doesn't really care though, a confident smile emerging on his face as he pulls back once more. Johnny is at breaking point now, already in the hold for a long time and fading...




...as Ryder steps in, taking Johnny free hand and dropping it to the canvas.



Ryder: "ONE!"


Pete: "Johnny may be out..."


Checking for signs of life and getting none, Ryder picks up the limp arm again...




...and it drops.



Ryder: "TWO!"


King: "Oh, he's done, he's finished."


Still there's no sign of life from The Barracuda, so Ryder takes the arm again, making sure the timekeeper is ready to call for the bell, if the arm drops again...





...which it...





...doesn't have chance to, as WILDCHILD MAKES THE SAVE!!




A despairing lunge knocks Maddix off of Johnny and saves the tag straps for Wild and Dangerous, to the delight of a few in the crowd. Wildchild knee is clearly hurt, but he doesn't let that stop him. Waiting, The Tropical Tumbler primes himself, waiting for Maddix to get up before diving forward with his patented Leg Lariat. He doesn't get great height and he doesn't use his right leg, but Wildchild still has enough force to knock Maddix out of the ring...and momentum to roll out with him.


Pete: "Man, Wildchild took a horrible spill to the floor again, but I'm sure it'll take more than a bad leg to stop the four time Tag Team Champion."


As Wildchild and Maddix lie on the floor, Hawke and Dangerous are left in the ring and are both struggling to their feet. Hawke is up to his feet first, comfortably, waiting on Johnny to follow suite. Despite the effects of the Chickenwing Land Of Nod, up to his feet is Johnny. But he's clearly weakened and dis-orientated, unaware that Hawke is creeping up behind him. Quickly, The International Champion goes to the gut with a knee, before taking hold of hair and pants and pitching Johnny forwards...




Pete: "Oh man, right into the post shoulder first!"






Applying the chickenwing and the crossface as Johnny stumbles from the corner, Hawke hooks on the body scissors and takes Johnny to the mat in what seems like mere milliseconds. Certainly too quick for Johnny to counter and now, he's trapped. Hawke wrenches on Johnny's already aching arm with all the energy he can muster.


Pete: "Dangerous is trapped in the Wing Span and he's in big trouble. But remember, Hawke had three attempts to put Zyon away in this hold at Genesis and failed all three times...all is not lost for The Barracuda."


King: "Oh, I beg to differ. He's trapped and his partner's only concerned in showing off for the fans."


Pete: "That's clearly not true, King."


Hawke continues to cling onto the hold, Scott Ryder right in the face of The Sercet Agent, waiting for him to call it quits. For now, Johnny is hanging on though. He's hanging on to hope, hope that his partner will come good as he has so many times in the past.






In the stands, a slightly muted chant starts up from the anti-Wild and Dangerous sections, as Hawke wrenches once more. Even if Johnny wanted to tap, he can't. He has to quit, decisively, before his body can take no more and he loses consciousness. But suddenly, saving grace has arrived as Wildchild has limped to the apron, grabbing the top rope and springboardi...NO! Landon Maddix dramatically grabs Wildchild's ankle and clings on for dear life! Wildchild tries to kick him away, but with a bad knee, that proves a hard task.






Still Wildchild kicks and eventually Maddix loses his grip. But again he manages to thwart a springboard from Wildchild, grabbing the leg and pulling Wildchild forcefully off the apron. From somewhere though, Wildchild uses his momentum and hooks his legs around Maddix's head on the way down, whipping Maddix over with a hurricanrana that sends his tumbling down the aisle!




King: "See! Gloryhog! A pure gloryhog!"


Pete: "What!?!"


King: "Sure, Wildchild hits his rana, but he sacrificed himself to do it. And, in turn, he's just sacrificed Johnny Dangerous, because there's no-one to make the save!"






Still the crowd is split. Still the h8erz implore Johnny to give up. And with Wildchild down, the only chance for Johnny is to fight out himself. Gritting his teeth, Johnny tries to turn to his left using his legs. Determination to escape is putting even more strain on Johnny, but he doesn't care and keeps trying to roll over on his front...



...so close to getting over...



...and eventually, he turns...








Pete: "My God, Johnny's been in this hold for a ridiculously punishing amount of time! And that may have been his last ounce of energy used up!"


King: "Face it, Jay Hawke is the master. He knew what Johnny was doing and he snuffed it out, to perfection."


With the pressure back on, Johnny knows that may have been his last chance gone and searches down deep, for mental and physical reserves to try again...





...reserves he just doesn't have...










Pete: "He gave it up!! Johnny Dangerous could take no more and he had to give it up!! And now, we have NEW World Tag Team Champions!"


King: "FINALLY!"


Hawke releases the Wing Span right on cue and slumps onto his back, exhausted from the effort he expended to finally make Johnny say 'I quit'. Looking on from the floor, Wildchild has just gotten to his feet and limps over to the apron to hold himself up, head in his hands as he looks at his fallen comrade.


Funyon: "Your winners of this contest...and the NEEEEWW Smartmarks Wrestling Federation, World Tag Team Champion...Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix and "The Dean Of Professional Wrestling"... Jay...Haaawwwkkeeee!!!!!!"


A mighty yet mixed reaction sounds up, as Hawke raises a weary arm in the air. Hawke then rolls away from Dangerous and crawls to the ropes, allowing Wildchild to enter the ring. Looking despairingly, Wildchild shakes his head disappointed...not in his partner, but at not being able to save him...before helping Johnny away and out of the ring. EMTs are down to check on Johnny, but in whatever awareness he has he shrugs them off, helped to the back by Wildchild.


King: "After 97 inglorious days, finally we have new Tag Team Champions! And a champion to be proud of, "The Dean Of Professional Wresting", Jay Hawke..."


Pete: "...and Landon Maddix..."


King: "Eh. He might as well have been the Brooklyn Brawler for the good he did tonight. Jay Hawke defeated Dangerous, Jay Hawke was the stratesticion, Jay Hawke was the team."


As Wild and Dangerous continue to leave with not entirely warm comments ringing in their ears, Jay Hawke pulls himself up. Maddix is rolling groggily into the ring now as Scott Ryder returns to the ring from helping Johnny. As soon as he rolls in, Hawke asks for the belts and Ryder goes over to oblige...



...but suddenly, there's a commotion at the timekeeper's table.





Pete: "What the hell's goin...HEY! IT'S TKO!!"


The crowd are going NUTS now, as we see special timekeeper David Blazenwing howling in pain on the ground clutching his eyes. The reason being a certain Japanese alcoholic substance spewed into his face by TORU Takahara! And now, TKO are scrambling off into the night, both Takahara and KOJI Kitano...holding an SWF World Tag Team Title belt in their hands!


King: "I don't believe it! TKO have stolen the belts!"


Pete: "You're right King! The timekeeper's just been mugged and now, TKO and Chris Card are speeding off like thieves in the night!"


King: "Well, we are in New York..."


Confusion remains in the ring, until finally Landon Maddix spots TKO in amongst the fans...and goes absolutely SPARE as he sees his newly won Tag Title strap being carried off into the distance! Hawke too is none too pleased, the consolation that his International Title is un-stolen not enough. And after a little temper tantrum, Maddix leads the way through the crowd as Cucaracha Internacional chase after their belts. TKO are already gone though and as Maddix reaches the 15th or 16th row, he stops, confused as to where TKO went.


Pete: "This is insane! Wild and Dangerous have lost the Tag Team Titles...but...so have the new Champions! TKO have stolen the Tag Titles! Oh man, what a situation this is! But unfortunately, we've got to take a commercial break and from the looks of things, we aren't going to clear this situation up, because TKO are heading for the exits!"

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I’m born.


I’m alive.


I breathe.


And it is those three words that precede the first entrance of the main event, Incubus’ “Vitamin” thumping out over the Plattsburgh Civic Center as those words flash in turn up on the Smarktron, the crowd rising to its feet in anticipation of the Unique Youth.






Which is why, when he bursts through the curtain, the crowd absolutely blows their fucking load.




The man in the khaki jean shorts strides out from backstage, his hair flowing behind him as he jogs into full view, waiting a second before sprinting down the ramp, hopping up onto the apron before flipping himself over the top rope, waiting a moment as the chorus to his entrance music plays...


You stare at me like I’m a vitamin

On the surface you hate, but you know you need me

I’ll come dressed as any pill you deem fit

Whatever helps you swallow truth all the more easily


...before showing a little intensity by raising his arms and performing a headbang, the crowd still going nuts!


“Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL! Introducing first, from Elkhart, Indiana, weighing in at 200 pounds, ZYON!” shouts Funyon, making himself heard over the Plattsburgh crowd..

“Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Smarkdown! I’m Longdogger Pete, joined as always by the Suicide King, and what you’re looking at is one-third of our main event tonight!” shills the Longdogger, a big grin on his face as he looks forward to the following match.


“Yeah, that’s right Pete! You’re looking at the worst one-third of the following match! But that’s okay, because this match also has the World Heavyweight Champion, El Luchadore Magnifico, and the Cruiserweight Champion, JJ Johnson! SURELY, Zyon can’t drag those two down.” King also shills, before dissing the man who went toe-to-toe with Jay Hawke old skool.


Before the Miami Menace can make a retort, however, the lights go from dark to red, then white, then red again, and continue their flashing as “Make Me Bad” starts oozing out of the speakers, red and white sparks flying up out of the ground. The smoke billows up from the stage, the guitars kick in, and the sparks pick up a figure striding through the fog, the fans already booing before Johnson bursts into sight, his hood/robe ensemble noticeably missing. In its place is a red track jacket, with a white stripe across the chest, all of this accented by the gold slung over his shoulder.


“New look for the Cruiserweight Champion, King.” note Pete, Johnson staring at the man in the ring as the fans hurl insults, boos and occasionally cups at him.


“And his opponent...from Windsor, Ontario, Canada, weighing in tonight at 219 pounds, he is the SWF Cruiserweight Champion...J...J...JOHNSON!” Funyon says, before King can retort.


“Well, it makes more sense than that hooded robes preacher nonsense. The man’s not a preacher, he’s a competitor! The man’s not satanic, he’s the Cruiserweight Champion! This is far more sensible. After all, gimmicky dress is for meth addicts.” says King, staring an accusatory hole through the Unique Youth that Pete immediately picks up on as Johnson walks up the steps, his eyes still deadlocked on his opponent. He steps through the ropes, and then he jogs before stepping onto the second rope, finally taking his eyes off of his rival to throw his arms wide as the chorus to his theme plays.


I feel the reason as it’s leaving me, no, not again

It’s quite deceiving as I’m feeling the flesh

Make me bad


“King, Zyon is NOT a meth addict!” shouts Pete, aghast at the thought that King could think such a thing.


“Please, Drain-Clogger. The guy nearly got his arm torn off by Jay Hawke at Genesis two weeks ago, and now he’s not showing a sign of pain. He’s gotta be on SOMETHING.”

“All Zyon is ‘on’ is heart and determination, and I demand that anyone who thinks otherwise speak up!” the Longdogger challenges.


“Well, I speak up.” says King.


“Okay. Anyone else?” says Pete, smugly, looking around.






“There’s your answer, Pete.” says King, equally smugly.


“That doesn’t count!”


So goes the intro to Atake FDD’s “Tu Final”, and the fans are once more jeering as the bass starts thumping out of the speakers, the smoke from the sparks (and Johnson’s entrance) clearing to reveal the flag-toting, belt-wearing figure of El Luchadore Magnifico, a single spotlight focused on him as he struts down the ramp, his head bobbing to the beat of the song as his eyes stay focused on the ring, his flag billowing behind him.


“And, the third competitor in the match, from Mexico City, Mexico! Weighing in at 210 pounds, he is the SWF HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WORLD...ELL LUCHADOOOOORRREEE...MAGNIIIFIICOOOOOOOO!!!”


Magnifico reaches the ring, rolls under the bottom rope, and pops to his feet, stepping into the center of the ring, thrusting his flag high into the air with a scowl on his face as the lights come back on. Zyon dances around in anxiety, exhaling, remembering what happened last time he was in the ring with the World Champion. Johnson, for his part, simply stares at Magnifico, largely unimpressed. The champ could care less, and he thrusts his flag into Nick Soapdish’s hand before backing into his own corner and hiking his leg up onto the middle rope, stretching his hamstrings as Soapdish hands the flag off to someone who’s not going to need free hands to count various falls.




“And we’re underway!” cries Pete, the crowd buzzing in anticipation of the first move. All three men stand in separate corners, trying to keep one eye on each of their opponents, despite the headaches that causes.


Zyon looks over at Magnifico.


Magnifico looks over at Johnson.


Johnson looks over at Zyon...





...before rushing in and taking his head off with a vicious clothesline! Magnifico sits back and watches as Johnson begins pummeling Zyon with fists as Zyon wraps his legs around the Canadian’s torso, adopting the guard position.


“And Zyon quick to get into that MMA guard position, which is good strategy, as it keeps your opponent from advancing on you and REALLY landing some shots!” shouts Pete.


“Yes, but that position also keeps your opponent from backing off, which means Johnson can throw fists until he gets tired, Magnifico interferes, or Zyon loses consciousness.” notes King, as Zyon throws his forearms up in an attempt to deflect most of the hard shots that are raining down on him. But Johnson seems hell-bent on turning Zyon’s face inside-out, and swats the man from Indiana’s forearms away with a powerful left before BLASTING the Unique Youth in the eye with a right! Before he can land another punch, Zyon puts his arms back, but Johnson repeats the process, and once again BLASTS him with a straight shot as Magnifico looks on, slightly amused at Johnson’s newfound strategy.


“Brilliant strategy from Johnson here, knocking those forearms away before beating Flyboy’s face in! No matter what situation you put him in, Pete, Johnson finds a way to adapt!” shouts the Gambling Man, equally amused.


However, Johnson’s strategy doesn’t last long, as without warning, Zyon slides his legs up from JJ’s torso to his neck, trapping an arm in there as he latches on a triangle choke! The Canadian’s eyes nearly bulge out of his head, more out of shock than lack of oxygen, and he immediately begins evasive maneuvers, getting to his feet. His head is still trapped, and so it looks as though Johnson is performing sexual favors for Zyoon as opposed to attempting to get precious air back into his lungs.


“Pete, is JJ doing what I think he-” King begins.




“Are you sure? Because it LOOKS li-”




Magnifico, through all of this, rests in the corner, almost chuckling as he watches his opponents soften themselves up for him. Johnson isn’t chuckling, however, but he knows he has one option left. And it is with that option in mind that Johnson starts to lift. Straining with every muscle in his upper body, Johnson straightens his back up, pulling Zyon up with him as he does so, and Magnifico’s bemused look slowly vanishes.


“Ha! Are you watching this, Pete?” gloats the Heartbreaker.


“Indeed I am, King. Johnson, in a somewhat impressive feat of strength, just dead-lifted 200 pounds, although I’m not sure he’s not using more oxygen to do this than the choke allows him.” Pete notes, as Johnson begins looking for a way to get the pesky Unique Youth out from around his neck. Before he can think too much, however, Zyon does it for him, releasing his arm and whipping backwards with a hurricanrana that sends Johnson, most unceremoniously, between the top and middle ropes to the floor!


The crowd shows their approval, and Zyon rolls onto his back before kipping up, a big grin on his face...




...that is immediately wiped off by a running elbow smash from Magnifico! Johnson sits up on the outside as Magnifico whips Zyon to the ropes, waiting for the Unique Youth to bounce back before deftly tossing the longest reigning Hardcore Champ since Todd Cortez over his head with a belly-to-belly suplex! Zyon rolls through as he hits the ground, minimizing the damage he takes, and springs up to the second rope before bouncing back with a Half Moon quebrada! It is not to be, however, as Magnifico leaps and thrusts his feet into Zyon’s torso with a dropkick! The Unique Youth goes crashing to the mat before bouncing up to all fours, clutching his chest, but the World Champ doesn’t let up, diving over the American with an Oklahoma roll! Kivell drops down to count!








But two is all, Zyon thrusting his legs out and turning onto his stomach to escape the pinning predicament. There’s still no rest for the weary, though, as Magnifico wastes no time floating over before planting his elbow in Zyon’s shoulder and wrenching back with a textbook Fujiwara armbar. What Magnifico doesn’t realize is that Johnson is on the apron, and the Canadian effortlessly hoists himself over the top rope before swinging his legs around, bouncing on his thighs on the nearest top rope and using the momentum as a springboard to send him crashing onto his two opponent with a moonsault, breaking up the submission!


“What a moonsault!” shouts Pete.


“More like what a run-on sentence...” mutters King.


“Fourth wall, King.” says Pete as all three men make their way to their feet before Magnifico and Johnson whip Zyon to the ropes, leaping on the rebound to hit Zyon with a tandem dropkick! Zyon ducks under them, though, before running to the ropes and bouncing back with another quebrada, catching both men’s heads before driving them into the mat with a stereo springboard reverse DDT! Zyon covers Johnson!






T-BRIDGE OUT! But Zyon doesn’t miss a beat, and immediately switches over to Magnifico!







But having been given two and a half seconds to rest, Magnifico shoves his shoulder off the mat even quicker than Johnson did, and Zyon is forced to choose between which opponent he wants to work on while the other is down. After a second of decision, he chooses the Cruiser champ, and brings Johnson to his feet before rocking him with a few forearms, then hooking him in a front facelock before backing up to the corner, hopping up to the second rope. There’s a moment of hesitation as the crowd cheers, and then Zyon leaps, swinging his body around before pulverizing Johnson’s head into the mat with a tornado-style Bring Me Down DDT!




The crowd lets their feelings known as Zyon makes the cover on Johnson, Kivell slapping the mat once more.











“That could have been it, King!” shouts the Longdogger, this match already pumping him up to levels formerly thought to only be achievable through Frost-brand Pure Caffeine.


“Yeah, it could have, but the World Champion was up, and he made Zyon pay with that basement dropkick.” admits King before gloating about his favorite in the match as the Unique Youth rolls off of Johnson, holding his head. He doesn’t get much head-holding time, though, because Magnifico is on the attack, sliding in and securing a front facelock in order to better drag Zyon to his feet before hoisting him into the air-




-and dropping him with a brainbuster! Cover!











But Johnson dives onto the stack of wrestlers, preventing the magnifico one from keeping his winning streak alive!


“That was almost a win for Magnifico after that hard brainbuster, King!”


“Yeah, well...damn Johnson! We could have had a win for ELM here!”


Zyon rolls to the outside to recover, but Johnson and Magnifico pay him no mind as the two brawl back and forth, each punch harder than the last, Kivell beginning his count on Zyon on the outside.




Johnson rocks Magnifico with a hard right hand, but his next punch is ducked, and the World Champ catches his arm and his chest and throws him over with a capture suplex! Johnson hits the mat hard, and staggers to his feet, but Magnifico is already on it, and hooks him with a rear waistlock before hurling him over with a briding German suplex!












Johnson rolls out of the pin just in time, and Kivell’s outside count gets to two as Zyon starts to push himself off of the protective mats. Johnson is up quickly, and Magnifico tries to get him with an armdrag, but Johnson twists in mid-air and lands on his feet! Mags shoves himself off of the mat, his legs straight up in the air for only a second before he springs onto his feet-






-only to be put back down with a HARD Yakuza kick as Zyon gets his hand onto the mat, peering over the edge as Johnson covers the heavyweight champion.






THR-NO! Zyon pulls Johnson off of Magnifico and to the outside!



“BOOOOO! That’s even more unsporting than when that lowly Akira caught Magnifico’s foot four days ago!” protests King.


“What, you wanted ELM to LOSE?” asks Pete, incredulous.




Zyon throws a hard right, but Johnson ducks and catches him in the ribs with a snapping roundhouse before grabbing the Unique Youth’s right arm and tucking it between his legs, securing it before latching on a uranage and throwing Zyon-







-into the ringpost, the crowd sighing in disappointment as Zyon’s spine wraps around the steel before snapping back into position as he falls to the ground, his head bouncing hard off the protective mats!


“EXXXPLLLOODDAAAAHH!!!” screams King with delight, emphasizing the name of the suplex that’s devastating enough when it’s not into solid steel.


“King, that was SICKENING! How can you applaud this!? Zyon could be hurt!” Pete admonishes the Gambling Man, his eyes wide with worry as the Unique Youth writhes around on the floor, Johnson hesitating only momentarily before sliding back into the ring, where Magnifico is waiting. The Cruiserweight champion gets up, fully expecting a frontal assault from the Heavyweight champion, but before he can realize that Magnifico is behind him, the champ has tucked his head under his arm and lifted him up, before spinning him around and driving him into the ground with La Bomba Fantastica!










La Bomba Fantastica was not enough to keep the Canadian down, but the wrist-clutch ring post exploder is doing its part towards keeping Zyon down, and Kivell is once more forced to begin a count out as the Unique Youth grabs at his battered spine. Magnifico drags Johnson up, and secures a double underhook before lifting him up to a vertical position...that Johnson flips out of, maintaining the double underhook as he drives the World Champion into the mat with a Phantom neckbreaker!


“Phantom neckbreaker out of the Cancun Crunch! Johnson thought fast, and avoided getting caught with that double-underhook brainbuster.” says LDP, almost as if he’s astonished at such a textbook suplex reversal.




Kivell counts another on Zyon, but then realizes a cover is made, and drops for the pin.








But Magnifico shoots his shoulder up, the match continues, and Johnson sits back on his knees for a moment before grabbing Magnifico by the hair and pulling him to his feet.




Zyon gets yet another count on him, and he hasn’t done much in the way of moving in the ten seconds since he got slammed into the steel. Johnson would care, but he doesn’t have time, because Magnifico cracks him with an elbow! Johnson’s ehad snaps back, and Magnifico whips him to the ropes before leaping and swinging his leg for a calf kick! It goes whistling worthlessly over Johnson’s head, however, because the Canadian is too quick, and Magnifico shoves himself back to his feet just in time to get caught with a VICIOUS shoulder tackle from a sprinting JJ Johnson! Mags is sent sailing into the ropes, and bounces back before Johnson ducks around him and hooks him in a full nelson before taking him over with a DRAGON SUPLEXUUUUUU~!


“Dragon suplex! Johnson could get the pin off of this!” shouts Pete.


“Umm...Pete. He’s not letting go. Shouldn’t he be letting go?” asks King, even though he knows what not letting go after a suplex means. And he prays it isn’t so, but indeed, Johnson swivels his hips before pulling Magnifico back to his feet and taking him over with ANOTHER dragon suplex, ELM’s head bouncing off of the mat as Johnson’s iron grip stays locked on. And again the hips swivel, Johnson pulling the world champion to his feet once again. Magnifico slumps down, trying to sandbag his way out of another vicious head-dropper. Johnson powers him up-




-and over, letting go this time and letting Magnifico bounce onto his stomach before rolling to his feet and standing, staring a hole through the champ before ascending the top rope, facing out into the audience.


“Wait...Johnson looking out into the crowd...you don’t think he could be looking for...”


“He may very well be. Ladies and gentlemen, if we’re seeing what we think we’re seeing, Johnson is preparing himself for a move we haven’t seen in 6 months. We are about to see...”


And Johnson casts himself into space, flipping backwards as he rotates on his own axis, spinning a full seven-hundred and twenty degrees before slamming into Magnifico’s prone body, the momentum throwing him off and out of the ring!


“...THE AIR CANADA! THAT 720 CORKSCREW MOONSAULT FROM JJ JOHNSON!” Pete screams as the crowd EXPLODES, despite the man performing the maneuver. Johnson manages to crawl back into the squared circle, holding his stomach as he does so, before draping an arm over the heavyweight champion of the world...








“Ladies and gentlemen, Zyon has been counted out. This match will continue as a standard singles match!” cries Funyon, to a chorus of boos.





T-But Johnson immediately jumps to his feet, staring in disbelief at the ref. Then staring to the outside, where the now-disqualified Zyon still lies, before staring back at the ref...




...and during all of this, he took his eyes off of Magnifico, who musters up the strength to swing his arm up and catch Johnson with a School Boy!














No pyro, but “Tu Final” still kicks up over the speakers as Magnifico staggers to his feet, his eyes wide as he quickly scrambles out of the ring, where he’s handed his flag and his World Championship.




Johnson doesn’t even care that he lost. He’s not even looking at the ring. He’s back on his feet, looking down at Zyon, his eyes still wide in disbelief.



The bastard got away from him again.




SWF Smarkdown, 10-3-05

A Riot Act Production

‘Raising workrate by typing faster’


Edited by chirs3

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