When We Were Marks: They Done Kilt Osiris!

[Llakor 0]

While I was in Toronto on vacation visiting my sister, I had the chance to check out a show put on by UWA Hardcore Wrestling, the home fed of Chris Bishop and Lionel Knight. Here is what I saw and here is what I thought.

 

When We Were Marks

They Done Kilt Osiris!

UWA Hardcore Wrestling – Friday, September 30th, 2005

St John’s Hall, Mississauga, Ontario, CANADA

 

For some odd reason UWA Hardcore Wrestling does not name their shows.

 

When you enter St John’s Hall, after paying your ticket, you will find yourself in an elevated balcony area, which for purposes of clarity I will call the Lower Balcony. You descend about five steps into the main hall, which is a square with a canteen running almost the full length of the left side of the square. A stage runs almost the full length of the back part of the square. The wrestlers come out from a curtain that runs the length of the stage, through a rectangular cage onto a ramp that extends to the ring.

 

A ring barrier made of a metallic blue mesh surrounds the ring. During the evening, the fans in the front row would bang on this mesh making a loud tinny noise that is unique to this promotion, I think. The ramp between the stage and the ring leaves enough room for a timekeeper’s table inside the ring barrier and one row of seats between the stage and the ring barrier.

 

On the other three sides of the ring (on the night I was there) there were five rows of fifteen chairs with room for more. The lower balcony had two rows of about twenty-five chairs. There was also an upper balcony that ran along the three sides of the square facing the stage with about fifty chairs. The night I was there all the chairs were filled, so doing the math, there were about 350 fans in attendance, a very good number for an Ontario Indy show.

 

Attached to the balcony on the left and the right were UWA signs done in a Japanese style, while above the stage was a large UWA sign done with a Phoenix emerging from the “UWA” Just in front of the Lower Balcony is a platform for the hard-cam that tapes the show. The hard-cam operator has a great view of the action but doesn’t cut off anyone’s view.

 

The lighting is subdued, neither garishly bright like many community centres or gyms and neither too low that you can’t see the action. Also there are no basketball rims or other odd distractions to remind you that the hall is used for other functions.

 

On the whole, it is one of the best combinations of venue and set-up that I have seen in any Indy. Not too downscale that you are afraid to enter, not so upscale that wrestling seems out of place. In many ways, it seems that the hall was designed for wrestling.

 

Yeah, yeah, yeah… Can we stop gushing and start talking about the matches already?

 

OZ?

 

Congratulations moron, you can recognize your own roommate.

 

Ladies and Gentlemen, my roommate and colour commentator, the Great and Mighty OZ. The only thing is, OZ, you weren’t at the UWA show, how can you do colour commentary?

 

As always, Llakor, you are logical, precise… and completely wrong. I was in fact at the UWA show that weekend. I came up to see the Blue Jays final two games of the year and took the chance to see Bishop and Knight performing on their home turf.

 

Why didn’t I see you then?

 

Because I was AVOIDING you, you chump.

 

Oh, I see. I know that I am going to regret this, but why exactly were you avoiding me?

 

I like to think of your two-week vacation from Montreal as a two-week vacation for me from having you around the apartment. Just because we share some interests like say wrestling and we share the apartment doesn’t mean that I have to like you.

 

Knew that I was going to regret asking…

 

As Llakor said, I’m his colour commentator. His Booby Heenan to Llakor’s… hmmm… Gorilla Mansoon was too good, let’s say Sean Mooney.

 

Would you stop?

 

No. Now, the main reason that I take time from the life that I have - as opposed to Llakor’s non-life – is that unlike Llakor, I don’t work for the IWS and thus I don’t feel compelled to kiss ass all the time.

 

I prefer to think of it as being polite and showing respect.

 

You say “Potato” and I say “Bull-Shit!”

 

With that in mind, here are the things about St John’s Hall that Llakor did not mention:

 

1. It’s in the middle of nowhere. If Mississauga is the ass-end of Toronto, St-John’s Hall is in the deserted ass-end of Mississauga. I mean it’s somewhat decorative tucked away like it is, but it does tend to limit your customer’s to those who own a car or who can cage a lift.

 

2. All the chairs at St-John’s Hall are the hard plastic shell chairs. Worst possible chairs for a wrestling show. Best are folding metal. Second best are folding plastic.

 

3. The show could really use a projector and giant screen. There is plenty of room to put a screen on the stage. There is also plenty of room to attach a projector to the hard-cam. Especially when the action spills out of the ring (which happens often) it would give the fans a better chance to see exactly what is going on. Plus, having a screen and projector set-up would allow you…

 

4. No Hi-Lite Reel? Trash. Look, the only thing that distinguishes a fed from a spot show is ongoing storylines. And you need to plug in your new fans who just showed up into those storylines. The way that you do that is by playing something before the show to update people on what happened previously.

 

5. Ring Barriers. Any fan of the IWS is a big hater on ring barriers, and I am no different. On the other hand, the noise that the fans make banging on that blue steel mesh is pretty cool, so I am going to give them the benefit of the doubt on the ring barriers.

 

6. The long metal cage that the wrestlers emerge from is very damn cool as well.

 

Finished? Those are some pretty small nits that you’re picking there.

 

I calls them like I sees them.

 

Well that brings us round to the first match of the evening…

 

Dark Match: Spike Hammer vs. Devin Parkside

 

Spike Hammer weighs in at 310 pounds.

Devin Parkside is 168 pounds dripping wet.

 

And they should both be slowly fed to sharks feet first.

 

Someone has overdosed on their Hate-A-Rade a little, I see. The disparity in weights of these two guys reminds me of a little something.

 

Danger! Will Robinson! Danger! Lengthy digression ahead!

 

Hard as it is to believe, there was a time, once, when Sean Waltman was the best cruiserweight in the world.

 

CRAP! Sucked in again. What in the blue hell are you raving about? The man from whom we developed the term “X-Pac heat” from? The original “I don’t give a heaping shit about you. Get the hell out of the ring!” guy? I date Triple H’s cast-offs? That Sean Waltman?

 

Yep.

 

Sean Waltman was tearing up Minnesota as “The Lightning Kid” when the WWE contacted him and offered him a contract. They brought him in - this skinny, lightning-fast cruiser - pulling off moves that no one in the WWF would even attempt. Completely the opposite of the regular WWF roster. Naturally, when they bring him in, they turn him into a skinny jobber and further bury him by changing his freaking name every single match that he is in. I mean, an incredibly entertaining jobber, but a jobber nonetheless.

 

Then Waltman is facing Razor Ramon, he’s still wearing the “Lightning Kid” pants even though the WWF has long since tossed the name. It’s obvious that Waltman is going to lose, only he doesn’t. He beats Ramon clean, 1-2-3 and just like that he has a name – The 1-2-3 Kid and he has a feud with the stunned and pissed-off Razor Ramon and he has a fan-base as wrestling fans all over the world freak out that this guy that they were sort of fond of has suddenly gained some credibility.

 

That one match made both men’s careers. Humbled by his losses to the 1-2-3 Kid, Razor Ramon turned face and eventually became the Inter-Continental champion… which led to a feud with Shawn Michaels… which led to a certain famous ladder match. Sean Waltman, on the other hand, was established as a guy who was so fast that he had a chance to beat damn near anyone in the WWE.

 

Oh wait a minute, I know where this is going. There is a certain tape in your library…

 

Yes. Back in the day, Coliseum Video had the bright idea to do a “Fans Request” tape. And not just any fans but Canadian fans, and Canadian fans being both smart and yet completely insane…

 

Not to mention cruel…

 

Not to mention cruel.

One of the matches requested was Sean Waltman, the 1-2-3 Kid against…

 

YOKOZUNA!

 

The late, great Yokozuna. Now going in, you know how this match is going to end. Yokozuna catches the 1-2-3 Kid, sits on him and kills him. The only question is how long can the Kid stave off the inevitable. The match begins with the 1-2-3 Kid trying to at least knock Yokozuna off his feet, because that at least would be a moral victory. This as you could imagine takes some doing and the Kid starts pulling out moves like you have never seen just to try and knock the monster down. Yokozuna for his part is doing everything that he can just to catch the little bugger and while he manages to knock the Kid off his feet a few times, the Kid is just too fast to catch. The Kid finally gets his moral victory of Knocking Yokozuna off his feet after a series of kicks from every conceivable angle and direction.

 

And at this point the commentators who I think are Johnny Polo and Todd Pettingale, shift into high gear and without talking about cardio or anything like that begin pointing out that the longer the match goes the better it is for the 1-2-3 Kid, because Waltman has the cardio of a triathlete (before there were triathlons) while Yokozuna is a great athlete and all and a former champion… but he has the cardio…

 

Of a big fat whale, which he is.

 

Right, and the longer the match goes the more that you believe that it is possible that something miraculous could happen. And Yokozuna is looking winded, and then the 1-2-3 Kid makes one teensy tiny mistake…

 

And the big Samoan catches him, sits on him and kills him.

 

Right. Now the reason that Sean Waltman at this exact moment was the greatest cruiserweight in the world, is because he could make you believe for a brief shining moment, against the evidence of your eyes, against logic and against everything that you knew about wrestling that he could beat Yokozuna. I mean, it was never, ever going to happen, but making you believe that it was possible, that takes art.

 

Great, great match.

 

Spike Hammer vs. Devin Parkside, on the other hand, is not a great match. Oh the moves were mostly well executed and the crowd was into it, but the construction of the match, the story of the match was bad to offensive. Of course, this was a dark match, which means that by definition the two guys in it were a little green…

 

Now don’t back down now. These two guys need to be tyed to a set of train-tracks and run over by a freight going five miles an hour or slower if possible.

 

Look, you just don’t start a match between two guys this different in size with the two men fighting over an arm-bar. Or if you do, the big man needs to make the arm-bars big and exaggerated like he is trying to rip the little guy’s arm out of his socket so that he can beat him to death with it.

 

The thing about a big man vs. little man match is that there are still a number of stories that you can tell. The little man maybe faster, he may be a better technician or he can be a bigger, crueler son-of-a-bitch, which I guess was the story that they were trying to go for here. But Devin Parkside is neither cruel enough nor stiff enough to pull that story off. Or at least he does not appear cruel enough or stiff enough which amounts to the same thing.

 

Also, if you were trying to go that route, why in hell is it Spike Hammer who is hitting Devin Parkside with Damian’s “Das Boot” and Viking’s Running Back Bump one right after the other?

 

Not to wear your influences on your sleeve or anything…

 

ATTENTION Devin Parkside: When a 300 pound man runs, flips and sits on your chest, try to SELL IT for at least a moment will you? Instead of doing Super Dragon’s Curb Stomp within a few seconds instead? I mean the match should have ALREADY been over by then.

 

ATTENTION Spike Hammer: You’re 300 pounds. Try to act like it.

 

And then the wrong person wins as Devin Parkside catches Spike Hammer with a surprise roll-up around the twelve minute mark.

 

The match was too long. Parkside got away with way too much. The wrong guy won. Parkside didn’t sell for moves that should have killed him. Both men swiped moves from wrestlers who perform them better. Am I missing anything?

 

I don’t think so.

 

No, no, one final thing.

 

ATTENTION Devin Parkside: Eat a fucking Sandwich or something. You look like Kate Moss’ emaciated brother. I mean I come from Quebec where it seems like every freaking wrestler is lean, but at least they have swimmer’s bodies, slim but athletic and well defined. You look like you would turn invisible if you turned sideways. Eat a cracker for fuck’s sakes.

 

I think we should move on…

 

Joe E. Slick opened the show by announcing that Ultimo Dragon was coming to the UWA on January 13th. He also dropped some hints about Digital TV and encouraged everyone to sign up to Rogers. Finally, he directed everyone’s attention to a silent auction that UWA was running to help pay to replace the two teeth that Sexxxy Eddy lost during a UWA show.

 

The first match of the show:

 

Match #1: Rip Impact & Prodigy vs. Snap Dragon & Ghemma

 

Referee Trevor Rutherford

 

Rip Impact & Prodigy weigh in at 356 pounds.

Snap Dragon & Ghemma weigh in at 309 pounds.

 

Impact and Prodigy win after about ten minutes of crowd pleasing, high flying action.

 

What are you stoned? The moves were sloppy and the transitions were non-existant. There were points in the match where the wrestlers were literally standing in the middle of the ring waiting for their opponents to recover so that their opponents could go on the offence. Once these guys figure out that it’s not the high-risk moves that you make, its how you get there, they will be a thousand times better. Make me believe guys.

 

Match#2: Nick Watts vs. Matt Bison

 

Referee Theo Jones

 

The Black Jabroni accompanied Nick Watts. Didn’t hear the weight, but around 200 something?

Matt Bison weighed in at 170 pounds.

 

One of the few straight up face vs. heel matches on the night. Matt Bison won with a roll-up after about 13 minutes of action. Both men played well to the crowd.

 

Transitions were sloppy although better than in the tag match. The Black Jabroni didn’t really seem to serve much purpose being out there. The bit where Nick Watts called Matt Bison, “M. Bison” was pretty cool. And I liked the Heimlich bit that Bison did on Watts. Otherwise match was the definition of mediocrity. Not bad, not good, just there.

 

Match#3: Dan Paysan vs. Jeff Flury

 

Jeff Flury beat Dan Paysan after about 14 minutes in a contest between two heels. Now either Dan is much better at heeling up a crowd than Flury, or the crowd decided to cheer the hometown ass-hole over the out-of-town ass-hole.

 

Dan was great and Jeff Fleury stayed with him every step of the way.

 

I have to tell you it was a huge relief to see Dan Paysan come out and know that I was in good hands. Because until this point, I was not a big fan of the show. And I will grudgingly admit that this was no carry job, Jeff Flury can handle himself in the ring. Like Llakor, I was a little confused how much the crowd was willing to cheer for a member of the PWA who are supposed to be the despised faction in the UWA.

 

Match#4: The Amazing Darkstone vs. Beef Wellington

 

Referee Bakais

 

Comedy GOLD. The match was built around Beef’s inability to satisfy the ladies owing to an embarrassing episode of erectile dysfunction. Beef ended up winning after about eleven minutes with a Package Pile Driver to become the Number One Contender to the UWA Canadian Championship.

 

Loved the fact that Beef stole Kevin Steen’s finisher because he’s involved in a feud with Steen. Great balloon animal spot. Only in a Beef Wellington match could you even say that. There was a cool banana peel spot although, to me, Darkstone didn’t build to the spot properly. The Irish Whips around the ring that exhausted both men was very funny.

 

I think I should take this chance to talk about Bakais. The UWA message board seems a little split on Bakais with some feeling that Bakais is awesome…

 

And correctly so…

 

While there are those who believe that Bakais draws too much attention to himself and takes attention away from the wrestlers. Here is what I believe: A good referee is like punctuation. He directs your attention to what is important and helps you interpret the match. So when Bakais is puzzled, he has the same purpose as a question mark; when he is excited – an exclamation mark; when both men are down and he is counting them out – an ellipse… and so on.

 

The genius of Bakais is that you could follow an entire match just by watching him and have a fairly good idea what was going on, the same way that when Cal Ripken Jr. was still playing that you could understand a game of baseball by watching how Cal Ripken Jr. positioned himself before each play. Ozzie Smith, Ripken’s great contemporary, used to use his great range and athleticism to get to where the ball was to make the play. Cal, on the other hand, used his knowledge of his pitcher and the opposing batter to put himself into position to make the play without needing to move.

 

Bakais’ ability to interpret the match for you is especially useful when the action ranges out of the ring and you can no longer see the wrestlers. Almost always, you can get a very good idea what is going on just by watching Bakais’ body language.

 

I would just like to add that the Amazing Darkstone has GAY PANTS!

 

This led to an intermission.

 

Match#5: Lionel Knight vs. Sabian

 

Referee Theo Jones

 

Lionel Knight was announced at 165 pounds.

Ruckus and Robbie Mireno accompanied Sabian to ringside.

 

Great, great high-flying match. Lionel Knight won after about eighteen minutes.

 

Yes, it was a great match, but their match at Hardcore Heat was just that much better. Partly, I think because at Hardcore Heat it was a straight up heel vs. face match. Lionel Knight evened the series with Sabian at one win apiece, but I really think Sabian should have won because he’s awesome and Lionel Knight is just very good.

 

Match#6: Chris Bishop vs. Blade

International Wrestling Syndicate Canadian Championship

 

Referee Bakais

Chris Bishop weighs in at 183 pounds.

Blaze weighs in at 168 pounds.

 

INSANE. In an IWS environment, it seems like Chris Bishop is a pure wrestler who does the odd top rope dive to mix things up. Then you seem him in the UWA hardcore environment and it becomes crystal clear that Chris Bishop is clinically out of his freaking mind. These two men did their absolute best to kill each other, taking bumps on piles of those rigid plastic chairs, taking dives off the top rope, the lower balcony and the camera platform. For their efforts, they got two huge “Please Don’t Die!” chants.

 

Two things.

 

First, the IWS is incredibly lucky to have a guy like Chris Bishop defending their Canadian Championship. I mean he doesn’t even have the belt since Kid Kamikaze stole it, but he still walks out ready to defend the title, with the attitude that if you want to become the Canadian Champion, you will literally have to kill him to do it.

 

Second, this is exactly the kind of match that old-school fans and UWA haters point to when they talk about matches where wrestlers kick out of everything and it’s all new fangled and we can’t take the CHANGE!

 

But… if you can’t watch this match and enjoy it… you might seriously want to schedule yourself for an operation to have the stick removed from your ass.

 

A quick mention of the UWA crowd. They are a great crowd. There is a real family atmosphere. Everyone seems to be enjoying themselves. All the matches got good heat, even a couple that weren’t all that good. They don’t seem to make as much noise as an IWS crowd at their loudest, but the noise lasts longer and is more continuous if that makes sense. They also are a little more respectful of the wrestler’s efforts, where the IWS crowd is a little more demanding.

 

We should probably mention how the match ended, because the ending was both disappointing and yet brilliant.

 

Blade seemed on the point of victory – he had just dragged Chris Bishop back to the ring – when Josh Prohibition appeared out of nowhere and clobbered Bishop with a kendo stick to give Chris Bishop the victory by DQ after about twenty-one minutes.

 

Blade actually seemed in control for most of the match. Great ending because you can go back to the Blade/Bishop match-up later. Josh Prohibition gets tons of heat both for attacking the beloved Bishop and for ending a great match early.

 

I think that I would also like to say that Chris Bishop is the best Ontario Indy wrestler that I have seen. The only two guys that even come close are James Champagne and Kobra Kai, and neither of those two guys have Bishop’s pure technical ability or his high-flying daredevil attitude. Kobra Kai has a slight edge because he has one of the cooler masks that I have ever seen and he is usually paired with the ridiculous hot Chantelle.

 

Chantelllllllle…

 

Oh yeah I forgot, Llakor is to Chantelle as Homer Simpson is to a Donut.

 

Chantelle with a Donut…

 

All right, knock it off! That’s just creepy.

 

I should probably mention that in UWA, Chris Bishop is announced as the “Aerial Assassin” an incredibly cool nickname.

 

Well deserved, too.

 

Josh Prohibition called out Osiris for their match for the UWA Light Heavyweight Title.

 

Match#7: Josh Prohibition vs. Osiris

 

This was no match. This was a mugging.

 

After Josh Prohibition called out Osiris, Osiris’ music hit and Josh Prohibition braced for him to come charging out of the long metal cage. The music built and built and just when you are thinking, “Man, Josh Prohibition is an idiot, Osiris is going to come out of the crowd and kick his ass!”

 

Osiris comes out of the crowd to kick his ass.

 

At which point, Josh Prohibition begs for his life… until every single damn member of the PWA jump Osiris from behind with kendo sticks and they beat on him and beat on him and beat on him and beat on him.

 

It was glorious. It was violent. It was unrestrained. It was uncensored. It was too damn much and then it kept going. I loved it.

 

Yeah if they could make that beatdown into a pill, Ole Anderson would use it as a Viagra substitute.

 

What ended the mugging was the twitchy Black Jabroni going all superfied Tourettic on us and ripping his outfit off to reveal the Blue Jabroni underneath. Crowd goes nuts and the PWA bailed.

 

Now, here is where knowing something about the PWA history would have helped. As far as I can tell, the Blue Jabroni is a psychotic hardcore midget. I don’t really understand why the PWA ran for their lives. I mean they out-numbered him by what four to one? Possibly five to one because the Blue Jabroni kept hitting himself in the head with a kendo stick, so even the Blue Jabroni was against the Blue Jabroni. And Osiris wasn’t getting up to help…

 

Yeah, the PWA they done kilt Osiris. They Done Kilt Osiris Dead.

 

Actually, I should admit that I thought that Joe E. Slick and the Blue Jabroni were the same guy, but that got disproved when Joe E. Slick and Brian the Guppie came to the ring to help Osiris after the PWA guys fled. They ended up having to bring first a spinal collar to the ring and then turn a table into a makeshift hard stretcher to get Osiris out of the ring and take him to the hospital.

 

Angle, beatdown, aftermath, all incredibly well done. I especially liked the fact that Josh Prohibition lured Osiris in by pretending to fall for the "Baby Face coming from the crowd" trick. Turning an ambush into a counter-ambush. Pretty slick.

 

Yeah kudos. The whole thing is on the level of – I don’t care if it was a shoot or not, I just want more.

 

Speaking of shoots, I just realized why you were avoiding me.

 

I think we established that it’s because I hate you.

 

Nope, besides that. See, I got into a dust up with someone over on the Ontario Indy Message Board run by Emanuel Melo. One of these hypocritical little worms that drive me nuts. I mean I understand when someone says – I saw the show and I hated it and here’s why. I understand when someone says I don’t go that promotion and here’s why. What I object to are people saying on Monday – I haven’t been to the UWA in a year. And on Wednesday saying that the UWA hasn’t had a good show in a year and every show is the same. So I blew up at this guy and gave him both barrels.

 

What part of : “Don’t Feed the Trolls!” do you not understand?

 

Fair Point. Anyway, for some odd reason, Aaron Weiss of the Pro Wrestling Superstars pay-per-views decided to stir the pot by calling me a “Five Foot Five, Middle-Aged Virgin who is a glorified Coffee-Maker for the IWS”

 

Right and you corrected him by pointing out you were Five Foot Four. A rare good line from you.

 

Thank You.

 

Of course, once my height is revealed the troll starts threatening physical violence. I invited him to look me up at the UWA show and told him to look for the hobbit in the red Spidey shirt.

 

To be fair, with that beard, you’re more like an anorexic dwarf in a red Spidey shirt.

 

Anyway, he threatened to beat me senseless and didn’t even show up. But that’s not the point. The reason that you were avoiding me is that you didn’t want to be caught in the middle of a brawl if he did show up.

 

Well…

 

Busted!

 

All right, yes, I was avoiding you in case the troll showed up. But not I hasten to add from fear. I was just worried that if I found myself in the middle of the brawl, I would miss the spectacle of you getting your ass kicked for shooting your mouth off.

 

I hate you.

 

Ditto.

 

Match#8: Ruckus vs. M-Dogg 20

UWA Hardcore Wrestling Canadian Championship Match

 

Referee Theo Jones

 

M-Dogg 20 is the UWA Hardcore Wrestling Canadian Champion. He weighs in at 177 pounds.

Robbie Mireno and Sabian accompany Ruckus to the ring. Ruckus is the Combat Zone Wrestling Heavyweight champion. He is carrying the massively cool red leather CZW belt with him.

 

M-Dogg 20 gets massively streamered which annoys Ruckus a bit as Ruckus feels left out.

 

I think at this point the best way to explain this match is to go back to the Ontario Indy Message Board and quote from one of the Intramet Experts who predicted what we should expect from this match.

 

markuskfabian

« Reply #1 on Sept 29, 2005, 6:40pm »

 

“OF ALL THE PEOPLE TO BRING IN, WHY BLACKOUT ?!

 

I have yet to see a good Ruckus match. Come to think of it; no psychology. kicking out of 200 finishing moves each match.

He's PERFECT for UWA!”

 

For the record, according to my notes Ruckus kicked out exactly once. See, this is what happens when you make assumptions about a wrestler’s ability to adapt to the needs of the match or the needs of a promotion.

 

Will you stop paying attention to the fricking trolls? If you ignore them they shrivel up and die!

 

Let’s talk about this match which was so much better than you could even imagine.

 

Amazingly awesome. The first portion of the match was built on a “Can you top this?” format culminating in a memorable sequence on the stage where both men demonstrated their ability to run up walls and M-Dogg 20 pulled out his flagpole stunt which had obviously been scouted by Ruckus.

 

And you could also see there suddenly that every other match had been warned not to use the stage so that when Ruckus and M-Dogg 20 used it that it was fresh and new.

 

Yeah, this wasn’t really a hardcore match as such although the two men ranged over and across and back and forth. The story being told was of two men who knew of each other, who respected each other and who perceived each other as equals. Both men determined to hit that one devastating move that would give them the pin. As a result, for most of the match the two men weren’t even trying for pin falls because they didn’t believe that they had hit their opponent with enough to keep them down. This is why I quoted from the twat from the message board because the match was completely the opposite from what he described was going to happen.

 

Ruckus had more pin attempts on M-Dogg 20 than M-Dogg 20 on Ruckus. (Five according to my notes.) Largely this was because Ruckus dominated the match, but every time that Ruckus went for a finisher, M-Dogg 20 managed just barely not to be there when the finisher landed.

 

Ruckus came off very strong in this match. M-Dogg 20 came off as equal to Ruckus technically, maybe not quite as strong, but very smart. It was hard to tell if M-Dogg was escaping Ruckus’ finishers by the skin of his teeth or whether he was luring Ruckus into attempting the finishers so that he could escape from it and get the advantage on Ruckus.

 

Whether it was from desperation or design, the one thing that was clear is that it was throwing Ruckus off his game as the CZW Champion seemed to want to be certain that M-Dogg 20 would stay down to be hit by a finisher. As a result, he passed up a number of possible pin attempts. Giving up the possibility of a win for the guarantee of a sure thing. And eventually, after about twenty-one minutes, M-Dogg 20 was able to take advantage of that and get the win.

 

A bit of a shocking result to be honest as I was hardly expecting to see the CZW champion get pinned.

 

great, Great, GREAT match. One that obviously pushed M-Dogg 20 to his limits and yet at the same point watching it, you would almost think that he planned the match and that like say Ali with Foreman in the Rumble in the Jungle, M-Dogg 20 let Ruckus push too hard and then took advantage.

 

Let me tell you how good this match was. This match was so good that photographer Emanuel Melo got so excited that rushing to get a good shot of the action, he ran smack into a post and busted hisself open the hard way.

 

Heh. Yeah which prompted a “Melo’s Bleeding” chant and confused the hell out of Sabian, who was trying to figure out if “Melo” was some weird nickname for M-Dogg 20, only he wasn’t bleeding.

 

After the match, the UWA fans climbed into the ring to celebrate, reenacting that ECW moment, except fortunately for the collapsing ring bit. Great show, started slow, but from the moment Dan Paysan came out everything else was good to great, with an amazing main event.

 

Yeah, the under card of UWA is weak, or if you prefer, green. Fortunately, they have Chris Bishop to fall back on, who is the best wrestler in Ontario. And while their champion, M-Dogg 20, may come to Ontario from away, he is an exciting and underexposed talent.

 

I think that you are being too hard on the under card. In any case, I enjoyed myself tremendously and I can’t wait to go back.

[The Mandarin 0]

While I enjoyed watching Bishop and Blade take disgusting bumps in front of me, I thought it didn't have any form and hardly looked like a wrestling contest. Watching and hearing them talk to eachother about the spots before they did them made me die a little inside. I thought the match was horrendous and it didn't do anything to improve my opinion of Chris Bishop (I'm not a fan of him whatsoever). Still, crowd seemed to really like it, so it wasn't anything detrimental to the show.

 

Bakais is over the top to the point that I like him. When he makes a "shocked" expression, it's like his mouth travels six miles vertically.

 

Good job on the report though. I reccomend RavishingRickRudo's report for another (albeit negative) analysis of the UWA.

[Llakor 0]

Good job on the report though. I reccomend RavishingRickRudo's report for another (albeit negative) analysis of the UWA.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

Linkage?

[The Mandarin 0]

http://forums.thesmartmarks.com/index.php?showtopic=71052

[JST 0]

The Earl to my Dave, Bakais is definitely awesome.

[Llakor 0]

The Earl to my Dave, Bakais is definitely awesome. 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

Don't you mean that you are the mini-me to his Dr. Evil?

 

****************************************

 

The interesting thing about that review is that we are bugged by the same things:

-Too many singles matches in a row

-Puzzling booking/ordering of the matches

(in my case, too much heel/heel and face/face matches)

-Upper card that was much better than the lower card

 

He seems much angrier about it than I was though. For me a great main event makes up for a lot, I suppose.

 

Glass Half-Full/Glass Half-Empty

[JST 0]

Don't you mean that you are the mini-me to his Dr. Evil?

 

Sure, in terms of height.

 

But don't tell me you forgot PCO's "I'm de crazy and I tink I'm in de WWF" lockerroom promo.