Bruce's Cruiserweight challenge

[Bruce Blank 0]

Woops - due to a bit of miscommunication between myself and the other person in this angle we didn't get this promo in for Smarkdown (which would have made FOUR Bruce Blank related promos - may have been too much

 

but well I promised you a Cruiserweight challenge - and we're building a story as well so here goes - the two segments

 

"Smarkdown - Director's cut"

 

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤ Backstage Early in the evening ¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

 

We’re backstage and Akira is WALKING~! with his manager Mr. Kobe by his side, talking back and forth in Japanese. Fortunately, due to the vast resources of the SWF, Smarkdown has an instant Japanese to English subtitling machine on standby for each show and we are able to understand what they are talking about

 

Mr. Kobe: “You should be focusing on your tag-team match later Akira”

 

Akira: “I will Kobe-San but Liger-san is one of my idols, he inspired me to become a wrestler. How can I not meet him when I have the chance”

 

Mr. Kobe: “Okay, okay just don’t lose your focus.”

 

Akira: “So what locker room is his? ”

 

Mr. Kobe: “The guy I talked to didn’t have him listed for the locker room assignments”

 

Akira: “What? A big star like Liger-san?”

 

Mr. Kobe: “Maybe he changes with the others”

 

Akira: “Yeah maybe”

 

Akira stops for a second as a thought enters his mind

 

Akira: “Hold up – I change with the others, there was no Liger-san in there”

 

Mr. Kobe: “That’s odd”

 

Akira: “Maybe Bruce was lying when he announced it”

 

Mr. Kobe: “From what I’ve seen about Bruce that’s very possible”

 

Akira: “I guess we’ll see”

 

Fade out

 

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤ Cruiserweight Challenge later that night ¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

 

The last few notes from Lynyrd Skynyrd’s “Don’t ask me no questions” are heard as Smarkdown returns from yet another informative and intellige… no wait they went to a commercial break.

 

The Ultraviolent Champion is in the ring, title around his waist, a “Cheat 2 Win” T-shirt tugged into it and his customary blood splattered jeans and cowboy boots that he always seems to wear whenever he’s near an SWF event.

 

“Tonight” Bruce starts as the crowd finally stops booing him. “Tonight I prove once and for all that size does matter! That there is no way in hell that some little Cruiserweight kid will take the title away from me”

 

Bruce taps the Ultraviolent title around his waist as the crowd boos that statement, especially considering that 2 of his four losses happened at the hands of someone who’d be considered a cruiserweight, which is a fact Bruce is quite willing to ignore tonight.

 

“I’ve put a challenge out the to anyone under the cruiserweight limit to step into the ring with me and I’ll put MY title on the line” Bruce says with a smirk

 

“They compete with the Ultraviolent champion and they get a prize just for showing up, either the belt around my waist… or this” Bruce continues as he holds up a black T-shirt with white print on the front

 

”I took Bruce’s open Cruiserweight Challenge and all I got was this lousy T-Shirt”

 

Then Bruce turns it around to show the back to the camera, it has a picture of a pool of blood with white lettering scrawled across it that says

 

”And an asskicking”

 

“King…” Pete begins

 

“SHHHHHHHHHH!! I’m trying to hear what Bruce has to say” the Suicide King quickly fires back at him to shut him up.

 

“I know that a lot of people seem to love these little guys and this federation is overrun by runts, but frankly I’m sick and tired of it! Wrestling is a big man’s sport where you don’t flip three times unless you get with a clothesline!” Bruce says as he paces back and forth in the ring like a caged tiger.

 

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!”

 

“The crowd seems to disagree King” Pete says

 

“Of course they do, they’re all stupid hosers” King so rightly points out

 

“So tonight I’ve invited one of the guys who’s responsible for these skinny little kids bouncing around my ring – a man who is a pioneer in the Cruiserweight division. All the way from Japan, come on out Liger!”

 

Bruce does a quick “come on” hand motion as an upbeat Oriental song kicks in, bringing the fans to their feet in excitement. After all Jushin “Thunder” Liger is here!! Mark out city!

 

The crowd goes ballistic as the man clad in red and gold steps through the curtains and walks down the aisle, excitedly pumping his fists in the air.

 

“LIGER!! LIGER!! LIGER!! LIGER!!”

 

The man in the flashy outfit leaps over the top rope and then adjusts his red horny mask before approaching Bruce head on.

 

“Hold on, hold on now!” Bruce says as he puts a hand out to stop the Japanese legend “I need to be sure you’re within the Cruiserweight limit”

 

“WHAT?” Pete says with outrage “it’s Jushin Liger, he’s like 5’6’’ tall how can he NOT be a cruiserweight”

 

“5’6’’ tall? Hmmm maybe he’s using lifts then” King says as he estimates Liger’s height to be more like 5’9’’ or so.

 

In the ring Bruce points to the electronic scale he’s brought with him to get Jushin to step up on it. Liger just stares at Bruce, then he looks out at the crowd as if to ask them their opinion. After a few moments of thought Linger quickly takes off his cape and steps up on the scale.

 

Bruce bends over to read it, squinting his eyes as he tries to focus on the numbers on the dial – the camera shot reveals that the scale reads 209 pounds even although Bruce isn’t announcing it out loud for some reason.

 

“You know my eyes ain’t that good no more, bend over and tell me what that says” Bruce says as he points at the scale.

 

The second Jushin Linger bends over to read the scale he’s driven into the canvas with a big elbow as Bruce sneak attacks the masked legend. A split second later Bruce has Liger by the mask and then tosses him across the ring into the turnbuckle without “the Thundere” even making contact with the canvas.

 

“You teach him Bruce!!” King yells out in support of the beat down in the ring

 

“Teach him what?” Pete asks all perplexed

 

“That we’ve not forgotten Pearl Harbour!!” King fires back. Pete only has a groan as a response.

 

In the ring Bruce has Liger over his shoulder, facing upwards as the big man wraps his massive arms around Liger’s chest and then runs at the turnbuckles, driving Liger chest and stomach first into the turnbuckles while upside down. The crowd is booing Bruce and throwing crumpled up cups and other garbage at the Trailerpark Superstar as he manhandles the man in red and gold.

 

WHITEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE TRASH!! WHITEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE TRASH!!

 

Bruce whips Liger across the ring, sending him into the turnbuckles with such impact that his head snaps back and… his long black hair falls off??

 

“What the hell?” Pete says as Liger’s hair is revealed to be a wig covering black hair with brown highlights in it.

 

“So Liger wears a hairpiece, so what? Maybe he’s balding on top” King says trying to dismiss any and all notions that it may not actually be Jushin Liger in the ring.

 

In the ring Bruce quickly grabs the wig off the canvas and attempts to put it back on Liger as the crowd starts to catch on. Then in a fit of anger Bruce lariats Liger over the top rope the floor and starts to yell and argue with the fans.

 

“Who’s that coming down the aisle?” Pete says as two men run towards the ring

 

“What am I? The Amazing Kreskin??” The Suicide King replies.

 

Once the get near the ring the cameras can finally reveal that it’s “The Divine Wind” Akira Kaibatus and his manager Mr. Kobe who’s rushed to Liger’s aid. Bruce turns around and notices the duo on the floor and immediately tries to leave the ring only to be stopped by referee Izzy Slappowitch.

 

Akira helps Liger to his feet, then he notices something isn’t right and pulls Liger’s horned mask off to reveal

 

CED ORDONEZ!!

 

“It was all a hoax on Bruce’s part! That bastard!!” Pete says with his trademark outrage.

 

In the ring Bruce is livid that his hoax has been exposed, he throws Izzy Slappowitch to the side and then yells at Akira

 

“You stay the hell out of my business or I’ll teach you that you’re not the only one around here who can injure a guy”

 

“WHOA that lit a fire under Akira’s BUTT” Pete says as they watch Akira furiously try to enter the ring and get to Bruce.

 

But neither Bruce nor Akira get the physical confrontation that they both obviously want because most of the SWF referees, road agents and other staff rush to the ring to keep the Redneck and the Divine Wind separated. Bruce smirks as he watches Akira struggle to get free, he knows he hit a sore spot with the masked Japanese superstar.

 

“I think we need a commercial break while we calm both parties down” Pete says

 

“Calm for now, but these guys are on opposite sides in a tag-team match later tonight! I can’t wait” The Suicide King interjects just seconds before Smarkdown goes to another commercial break.