Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted November 25, 2005 (edited) This Thanksgiving edition of the HeldDOWN~! opens up with OAOAST general manager Calvin Szechstein sitting at his neatly organized desk, arms folded across it. CALVIN Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to a very special Thanksgiving Edition of OAOAST HeldDOWN~!. Thanksgiving is a very special time for both you and your family. But it's also a special time for we here at the OAOAST. The crowd cheers. CALVIN We are just 72 hours away from the November Reign pay-per-view, the main event of which will be the OAOAST 24/7 Champion “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican taking on the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion, Stephen Joseph Popick. And should Popick retain his World Title tonight on HeldDOWN~! against Zack Malibu and Alfdogg, then that match will be for the One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Title. Now, a main event of this caliber deserves of a referee of that caliber. Which is why the main event of November Reign will NOT be refereed by one of our regular OAOAST officials. No, instead, the PRL/Popick match at November Reign will have a Special Guest Referee. And that referee, ladies and gentlemen, I’m sure you know very well. He is a wrestling legend. He is a former governor. And a movie star. He is also the host of The Body Shop. The crowd cheers knowing whom it is. CALVIN (CONT’D) Yes, the Special Guest Referee for Tha Puerto Rican/Stephen Joseph Popick match this Sunday at November Reign will be none other than JESSE “THE BODY” VENTURA! Now some of your favorite superstars would like to tell you what they're thankful for. Take a look. YEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!! CUT: Stephen Joseph in the dairy aisle of his local grocery store. STEPHEN JOSEPH I'm thankful to be the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion. That's the truth Ruth! Oh, and that I can afford the Poptarts with frosting now. CUT: The South Central Militia sitting on a porch at their home in Compton. VINCENT SANTANA What are we thankful for? MARCELLUS WALLACE Bitches and hos. No offense, sis. SHYANNE None taken. CUT: Scotty Static outside the arena. STATIC: "Thankful? You wanna know what we're thankful for? Hell, you should be thankful for the fact you've been allowed in our presence!" (looks at Johnny incredulously) CUT: Molly Matthews in front of the Llama cage at a local zoo. MOLLY MATTHEWS I'm thankful for pink elephants and paralyzers. I love it when the milk curdles! CUT: The Heavenly Rockers at a recording studio in Vegas. LOGAN MANN I'm thankful for my girl...(singing) my girl...Holly. SYNTH For me, it's my drumstick. LOGAN You didn't bring your drumsticks. SYNTH (looking down, smiling) Oh, I did. CUT: Johnny Jax inside the arena. JAX "I'm just thankful that we got smart before it was too late. I'm thankful we were able to save our careers. Is that what you wanted, Mr. Camera Man?" CUT:Alfdogg sitting in the empty stands, holding a replica of the world championship belt. ALFDOGG I'm thankful that tonight, I get to pound the stuffing out of the two biggest turkeys in OAOAST history. And at the end of the feast, you can put all your pies away, because instead, I'll be enjoying another helping...of the World Heavyweight championship. CUT: The Sooner Bruisers working out at the Oklahoma State (or wherever a Sooner is from) weight room. FRANK The Big Bad Re-Booty Daddy is thankful for his freakazoids and peaks. FRANKIE I'm thankful for my big brother and my new chew toy -- Jim Cornette's ass! Ow, ow, ow, OWWWWWWW! CUT: The Midnight Express at JCE headquarters JIM CORNETTE That's what you think, you moron. I'm thankful I have Sarcastic Simon and Hustler Ned watching MY back. SIMON And I'm thankful for your managerial services, Jimmy. Simon and Cornette share a hug, while Ned stares at himself. NED Look at this body. Look at this face. What do I need to be thankful for? Heh. CUT: Tony Brannigan reclining poolside at his Hollywood Mansion, surrounded by a bevy of beautiful bikini clad women. TONY BRANNIGAN I'm thankful I'm not you. CUT: Crystal at a nail salon getting a manicure CRYSTAL I'm thankful that I have an undisclosed injury so I don't have to spend Thanksgiving with YOU! Wait a second, I'm Canadian...this isn't Thanksgiving! CUT: Peter Knight in his hotel room throwing darts at a picture of George Steinbrenner hanging on the wall. PETER KNIGHT I'm thankful that, once I take care of Rodez tonight and Parka on Sunday, that will be enough for me to get another shot at the World Heavyweight title. And this time....third time WILL be a charm. CUT: Otaku and Ayane standing in front of a November Reign poster. Otaku: This year has been an awesome one for me, and I'd like to take a few minutes to give thanks for it. I want to give thanks first of all, for my lovely wife, Ayane Ayane giggles and blushes as he says this Ayane: And I will give thanks for you, Otaku! Otaku: Thanks, Ayane-chan....Moving on, I'd like to give thanks to the OAOAST for giving me another shot in the ring after a few rough years battling various injuries back when I was in GCW, and I'd like to give thanks to the rest of the Mad Machine for being truely classy individuals I can be proud to be associated with. Finally, I'd like to thank you, the fans of the OAOAST, because without you I wouldn't be out there living my dream every time I step into the ring. Thank you so, so much. CUT: Rick Heyross and company in Heyross' parents basement RICK HEYROSS On behalf of Stevens/Heyross Incorporated, we're thankful for the privilege of sending Alfdogg for a permanent trip, back to his shed! HAHAHA!!! CHARLIE MOSS That's right. I'm just thankful that I don't have a nickname like Reject...how did you get that name, anyway? From your cousins at the family reunion? QUENTIN BENJAMIN I'm thankful that after this Sunday, that disgrace to the National Weather Service, Thunderkid, will be sent to bed without supper, haha! BROCK AUSSTIN And last, but not least...Mr. Sandman, you better bring all your dreams, because we'll ALL be thankful to lay you to rest at November Reign! *everybody laughs* CUT: Krista sitting at her condo in West Hollywood, shown from chest up. KRISTA I'm thankful for the fact that several hundred years ago a bunch of greedy, bigoted, overweight white men came over to this country, kicked the Native people off their land, slaughtered their children, raped their women, wiped out thousands of their tribes in an act of genocide, so that we living here today can have nice things like Wal-marts, and Super Wal-Mart's with pizza huts, and twenty four hour Wal-Marts that employ exploited immigrant labor then toss them aside like a used sweat shoe when they have no longer serve their capitalistic goals. I hope all of you in the OAOAST choke on a ham sandwich and die Mama Cass style. Then I'd have a lot to be thankful for. I'd be dancing on the ceiling like my name was Lionel Richie. I hope you get aids and die. Don't get like Gloria Gaynor and start singing I will survive. You're name's not Magic Johnson, you weren't part of Showtime, no one's giving you the cure for aids. What? I don't care if everyone else only said two sentences. Does everyone else have two masters degrees from Stanford? When they do, you come and you and you talk to me. Bitch. You're gonna be the first to die. Here's an idea! Everyone with two Masters Degrees, talk. Talk right now. Huh? What? Huh? I don't hear anyone talking but me, because I guess I'm the only one with two master degrees. Funny that. ALIX (off screen. gasping) I'm thankful for being able to eat out on Thanksgiving. (She raises her head on screen) Krista, I'm also thankful you've discovered a little white rectangle of magic called soap and it's trusty sidekick, water. (Looking none to pleased, Krista shoves Alix back down to eat her thanksgiving "feast".) CUT: Scotty Static inside the arena STATIC "You want us to be thankful for something? I'd be thankful if you got that damn camera OUT OF MY FACE!" (Scotty puts his hand over the lens, and a "THUD" is heard. All we see is a shot of the ceiling, and the GPX chuckling in the background. The camera then starts to shake, and requests of "No!" and "Stop, c'mon!" are heard, as it seems the cameraman is being stomped by the members of the Global Party Exchange!) CUT: Christian Wright at a MENSA convention. Unaware that his shirt is on backwards. WRIGHT On this national day of Thanksgiving, I am thankful for my superior intellect and my unquestioned morality. CUT: Leon Rodez in a dark back alley, lying on the ground, a crazy looking bum standing above him holding a blood stained knife and the book Surgery for dummies RODEZ I'm thankful that vasectomy procedures are scientifically proven, 99% accurate. CUT: Zack and Candie sitting in front of an OAOAST banner. ZACK: "I'm thankful for everything this company and the fans have given to me, and thankful for the ability to give it back to them." CANDIE: "I'm thankful for that special someone..." (looks at Zack and kisses his cheek). ZACK: "Oh yeah, I'm thankful for that too!" CUT: The Marv of the Sk8er Boiz leaving a Vancouver police station THE MARV I'm thankful that Crystal chose not to press charges. CUT: Chris Stevens and crew in their locker room CHRIS STEVENS I'm thankful that *I* was the one, that finally took this title away from that paper champion, Alfdogg! JAY RICHARDS And I'm thankful that Stevens/Heyross Incorporated is going to take more than that away from him and his Alliance this Sunday. Jumbo, why don't you tell them what you're thankful for. JUMBO (off camera) What I'm thankful for for Thanksgiving? STEVENS Yeah. *Jumbo jumps on camera with a Dusty Rhodes tanktop on and holds his arms out.* JUMBO FO MAH POKA DAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHTSSSSSSSSSS! CUT:All the OAOAST Superstars outside of the arena ALL HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!! **** HeldDOWN, you make me wanna LaLa, on the kitchen, on the floor, I'll be your French maid, and I'll meet you at the door. I present to you OAOAST HeldDOWN~! BOOM CRACK KAPLOW KAPSLAT PATOOOWIE Such strange sounding fireworks! The camera man earns his paycheck, panning the sold out Oakland Amaldea County Arena! The rambunctious fans, too many of whom are dressed as pilgrims and turkeys, foist their poorly made signs into the air, hoping for their “creative genius” to catch fifteen seconds of forgettable fame. Those who are without signs take the charge of screaming “I can't see shit!” at their signed counterparts. Fortunately you at home have an unhindered view of the sexiest announce team in wrestling, Triple C. COACH I like this narrator! COLE We welcome you to Oakland, California for a red hot special edition of OAOAST HeldDOWN! I'm Michael Cole, and on behalf of Caboose, The Coach and everyone in the OAOAST, we'd like to thank your family for joining our family on this Thanksgiving night. It means a lot to us. CABOOSE By my calendar we're only three days away from November Reign, but what kinds of title changes might we see before then? Stephen Joseph is set to lose his belt to either former world champion Alfdogg or two time world champion Zack Malibu. Plus the X-Title is on the line, as dominating champion Peter Knight takes on Leon Rodez. COACH That kid has got no chance. The only reason Leon Rodez still has a job is so I can get off my award winning catchphrase CALL THAT BITCH BOJANGLES! But, you know what? I'm sick of that phrase, it demeans me as a person. I don't think I'll be saying it. Woah! Hey, look! The kid behind me is pretty excited about the show! (Coach points to woefully overweight adolescent in an Anglesault t-shirt standing behind him and dancing up a storm, while slapping himself silly.) COACH Hey, butterbean, that slapping is good practice for when you try and talk to a girl, because that's exactly what'll happen to you. Ha! Lard ass! Cornfed! Ha! On with the show! Edited November 27, 2005 by Patty O'Green Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted November 25, 2005 Chase by Giorgio Moroder hits and Jim Cornette leads out The New New Midnight Express and all of their teammates. COLE And we're set for a ten-team Survivor Series-style match! BUFFER The following contest is a Survivor Series-style match! Introducing the first team...first, with their manager, James E. Cornette, the NEWWWWWWW NEWWWWWWW MIDNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT EXXXXXXXXXXXPRESSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!! The camera keeps cutting over to show all of the teams. HELLLLLLLLLLLLLL'S HITMENNNNNNNNNN!!!!! *cut* The SSSSSSSSSOUTH CCCCCCCCCCCCENTRALLLLL MILLLLLLLLLLITIAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! *cut* LLLLLLLLOSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS CONQUISSSSSSSSSTADORRRRRRRRESSSSSSSSS!!!!! *cut* and accompanied by their manager, Rick Heyross...TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAM HEYYYYYYYYYYYRRRRRRRRRRRROSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!! COACH The UNDEFEATED Team Heyross, I might add, Cole. All the heel teams get into the ring and get acquainted, as Frankenstein by Edgar Winter hits and the Sooner Bruisers lead out all their partners. BUFFER Their opponents...introducing first, from Oklahoma...the SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONERRRRRRRRRRR BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRUISERRRRRRRRRRRRSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!! *cut* The LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVVVVVVVVVVVE DOCTORRRRRRRRRRRRSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!! *cut* The SSSSSSSSSK8ER BOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!! *cut* LOS DIABLOOOOOOOOOS DELLLLLLLLLL FUEGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! *cut* and the greatest rock 'n' wrestling band of all-time...the HEAVENLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY RRRRRRRRRRRRRRROCKERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!! COLE Look at all these bodies in the ring, 20 men in all! COACH And folks, if you're just tuning in, this is not a battle royal! This is a tag team match, ten men on each side! COLE And when one man on each tag team is eliminated, both members of that team must go back to the locker room! *DING DING DING* COLE Quentin Benjamin of Team Heyross appears ready to start it off for his side, and it appears the other side still trying to sort it out, Coach. COACH That's right, and that could be a big factor in this match, Cole! You see, the Bruisers and their team, there's no management on that side! On the other hand, the opponents have Rick Heyross in the corner, as well as Mr. Cornette. COLE Well, it looks like they've decided, it's going to be Frank of the Sooners, starting off with Quentin Benjamin, the former Oregon Duck, wearing the school colors tonight, green with yellow trim. Frank circles the ring with Quentin, and Quentin gets a quick double leg takedown on a tieup attempt. COLE Frank a little surprised that Quentin was able to take him down there, Coach! COACH Well, Team Heyross a little younger, a little quicker than the Bruisers, I think, Cole. He's more surprised by that than I was! Frank gets up, and circles the ring again. Frank goes behind Benjamin and grabs a waistlock, then picks him up in the air, spins around and takes him down to the mat! Frank spins around so he's facing Benjamin on the mat, and starts doing pushups right in front of him! Benjamin jumps up and goes into his corner, slamming his hands on the ropes in anger. COLE Frank REALLY getting under the skin of Quentin Benjamin right now! Benjamin comes back out of the corner, and goes to the eyes of Frank! Benjamin then gives him a knee to the gut, followed by a snap suplex! Benjamin covers... 1... 2..... Frank kicks out! Benjamin picks up Frank, and whips him into the ropes. Benjamin puts his head down, however, and Frank grabs him in a double underhook! Benjamin can't break the grip, and Frank PLANTS him with a Tiger Bomb! Frank pumps his fists on the mat as the crowd roars its approval! Frank then picks up Benjamin, and presses him overhead! The crowd gets louder as Frank holds him, then slams him down to the mat! However, Benjamin is able to roll into his corner on the impact, and tags Charlie Moss. COACH That was a great military press slam by Frank Frankensteiner, but he slammed him right into his corner, and now it's Charlie Moss in. COLE Charlie Moss, a graduate of Purdue University in west central Indiana, he's in the gold singlet trimmed with black, also the school colors. And a reciprocating tag, and now it's Frankie Frankensteiner in there. Frankie ties up with Moss, and backs him into a corner. The referee backs Frankie up, and when he goes back after Moss, he catches a foot to the gut. Moss then underhooks and suplexes Frankie overhead. Moss picks him up and whips him into the ropes, then drops down as Frankie jumps over. Frankie ducks a clothesline, then catches Moss on a leapfrog attempt and gives him a powerslam! COLE What power on that move by Frankie Frankensteiner! As Moss is getting up, Frankie grabs him in a waistlock, and gives him a release German suplex! COACH WOW, Moss right on the back of his head there, this could be our first elimination here! Frankie covers... 1.. 2.... Moss gets a foot on the bottom rope! Frankie goes to pick Moss up, but Moss grabs him by the tights and pulls him out through the ropes! Moss then crawls over and tags One-Eye, who jumps down and tosses Frankie back in the ring. Frankie gets on all fours, but One-Eye is able to pound him back down with forearms and double axehandle blows. One-Eye picks up Frankie and drives him with a shoulderbreaker, then wrings his arm, and tags in a Conquistador. The Conquistador drags him over into the corner and rams his head into the buckle. However, Frankie just looks out into the crowd with a smile! Another ram, and Frankie looks back at the Conquistador, smiling yet again! Conquistador tries another ram, but Frankie blocks, and rams the Conquistador in! Frankie then delivers an overhead belly-to-belly! The second Conquistador comes in illegally and the two both hammer Frankie. Double whip, and both Conquistadores duck down. Frankie kicks one in the head, sending him rolling out of the ring, then backs up, and delivers a SOONERLINE~!!! to the other! He then tags Frank back in, and Frank picks up the Conquistador, whips him in...and catches him with the FRANKENSTEINER~!!!!!11111 1... 2...... 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! COLE And we've got our first elimination, the Conquistadores are out of here! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 1st elimination: Los Conquistadores (4:28) eliminated by: The Sooner Bruisers (Frank Frankensteiner pinned Uno) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ JINGUS steps into the ring as the Sooners celebrate, and grabs them both to set up CLAWSLAMS~!!! However, both Sk8er Boiz get on the top turnbuckle (the same one) and deliver a DOUBLE MISSILE DROPKICK, sending JINGUS down! The Sooners pick up JINGUS and deliver a double bodyslam! Frank tags in Moracca of the Diablos, who delivers a sliding dropkick as JINGUS is getting up off the mat. Moracca turns around and starts dancing, not knowing that JINGUS continued getting up anyway despite his swift kick! Moracca turns back around, and the last thing he sees is the hand of JINGUS covering his face, before being driven with a CLAWSLAM~!!! JINGUS places both hands on his chest... 1.. 2..... 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!! COACH Well, that's what they get for dancing instead of worrying about their opposition! Now it's down to 8-on-8! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 2nd elimination: Los Diablos del Fuego (5:19) eliminated by: Hell's Hitmen (JINGUS pinned Moracca) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ JINGUS grabs Dr. Steven Pigley by the throat and drags him in over the ropes to the mat! JINGUS starts choking the life out of Pigley, as the referee's count doesn't seem to be a factor! Finally, the referee grabs the arm of JINGUS, who gets up, grabs the referee by the face, and throws him out of the ring! JINGUS then goes back to choking Pigley, before the referee comes to and calls for the bell, disqualifying JINGUS! COLE Well, you can't throw around referees like that, and now the Hell's Hitmen must return to the locker room! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 3rd elimination: Hell's Hitmen (6:13) eliminated by: disqualification ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Sarcastic Simon comes into the ring and tries to steal a quick pinfall... 1... 2.......... ...but Pigley gets a shoulder up! Simon makes a quick tag to Ned, and the two hit a double-team flapjack! Ned picks up Pigley and backs him into the corner. Ned lays in karate kicks, then a big savate kick, leaving Pigley doubled over in the corner! Ned does the "X" pose with his fingers, drawing a chorus of boos, with some scattered cheers. Ned then gives a vertical suplex to Pigley, before tagging in Vincent Santana. Santana hops onto the second turnbuckle, and comes off, drilling Pigley with a shoulderblock! Santana covers... 1... 2....... Kickout! Santana waits for Pigley to get to his feet...and locks in a big bearhug! COACH Submission hold applied here, Vincent Santana of the South Central Militia attempting to even up the score once again! Santana squeezes, and Pigley fades away quickly. The referee raises his arm... ONE!!!!!!!!!!! TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Pigley keeps the arm up on the third lift! Pigley drives in a right hand! And a second! And a third! Pigley then starts driving in rapid fists, and finally the hold is released! Pigley goes to the ropes, and knocks Santana to the mat with a high knee! Santana is up quickly, however, and catches a second charge from Pigley with a powerslam! Santana then tags Simon in, and Simon climbs to the top as Ned climbs into the ring. COACH Uh oh, Rocket Launcher coming up, Cole! Ned tosses Simon off the top rope, and he lands...right on the knees of Pigley! Simon holds his gut as Pigley slowly pulls himself over to his corner. Simon makes a tag to Charlie Moss, but Moss can't make it in time to stop Pigley, and he tags his partner, Dr. Max Anderson! Anderson comes in with a clothesline on Moss, then waits for him to get to his feet, and hits a dropkick! Ned comes in, and gets hit with a dropkick for his efforts! Simon in, same result! Anderson scales the top rope as Moss gets to his feet, and comes off with a HURRICANRANA! COLE Big move by Anderson, and we could have another elimination here! Anderson covers... 1.. 2...... Kickout by Moss! Anderson measures Moss, waiting for him to get to his feet, then runs to the ropes, but Quentin Benjamin catches him with a kick to the back of the head! Moss catches him with an STO backbreaker, and locks in the MOSSY KNOLL~!!! COACH The MOSSY KNOLL hooked in by Charlie Moss, and Anderson can't budge him! Anderson in fact can not move Moss even slightly towards the ropes, and is forced to tap out! COLE And the HI-YAH tag team champions have been eliminated, another footnote on the short, but impressive, resume of Team Heyross! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 4th elimination: The Love Doctors (10:19) eliminated by: Team Heyross (Charlie Moss submits Dr. Max Anderson) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ As Moss celebrates, Hell Mel comes into the ring and dropkicks him from behind, sending him into the corner! Moss turns around, and is met with right hands, then Mel backs up and monkey flips him out of the corner! Moss gets up slowly, and Mel gives him a bodyslam, then hits a standing moonsault! 1... 2...... Kickout! Mel drags him to the corner and tags in The Marv, who leaps over the ropes and dropkicks Moss on the way down! Marv runs to the ropes, and Moss catches him in a side slam, but Marv spins through and takes Moss down with a headscissors! Marv whips Moss into the face corner, then tags in Logan "Usher" Mann, who steps in and connects with a MASSIVE left hand, sending Moss right over the top rope and to the floor, Curt Hennig style! COLE And now, the team of the Bruisers, the Boiz, and the Rockers have got something cooking! COACH But look at how smart Charlie Moss is, he walked around to his own corner and got back in over there, and we're gonna get a fresh man in! Sarcastic Simon is tagged in, as things slow down again. Simon and Usher tie up, and Simon sends Usher into the ropes, but Usher ducks a clothesline and hits a back elbow! Usher picks up Simon and whips him to the ropes, but puts his head down, and Simon catches him with a swinging neckbreaker! Simon with a quick cover... 1... 2....... Kickout! Simon tags in Ned, and the two set up a double suplex. However, the Boiz both come into the ring and catch Usher on the way over, then hit stereo dropkicks in the Midnights, who both roll from the ring! Quentin Benjamin jumps into the ring, but gets caught by Frankie Frankensteiner, who gives him a belly-to-belly overhead right over the top to the floor! COACH WHOA!!! What a move that was by Frankie! The faces guard each corner of the ring, until the heels go back to their corner. Ned gets into the ring, and is joined by Synth Esizer. Synth grabs a side headlock, and is sent into the ropes. Ned drops down, and Synth hops over and stops. Synth catches Ned with an inverted atomic drop! He then goes back into the ropes and takes down Ned with a clothesline! Synth drops an elbow, and covers... 1... 2....... Kickout! Synth gives Ned a vertical suplex, then tags out to Hell Mel, who springs in with a guillotine legdrop! Mel with a cover... 1... 2...... Kickout! Mel signals for the end! COLE Mel says he's going for the Mel Shock! Mel gets Ned in position, but Ned slides behind the back and Mel goes into the corner! Mel is able to dodge a charge, then delivers rights and whips Ned to the opposite corner. Ned, however, avoids a charge, and Mel goes shoulder-first into the post! COACH Uh-oh, and that could be the beginning of the end for the Sk8er Boiz right there! Ned pulls Mel out of the corner, then grabs the arm and takes him down in a single-arm DDT! Ned then tags Simon, who goes to the ropes as Ned hits a drop toehold, and drops an elbow to the back of the head! Simon then goes over and tags in One-Eye, who is already on his way to the top rope... COLE Uh-oh, you may be right, Coach! Marcellus up on the top rope... One-Eye hits a BIG SPLASH FROM THE TOP!!! 1... 2....... 3!!!!!!!!!!!!! COLE And we're down to three teams against two! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 5th elimination: The Sk8er Boiz (14:21) eliminated by: The South Central Militia (Marcellus "One-Eye" Wallace pins Hell Mel) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Frank Frankensteiner comes in and hammers on One-Eye, but Santana takes a cheap shot, which allows One-Eye to get a back suplex! One-Eye covers... 1... 2....... Kickout! One-Eye tags out to Santana. Santana chokes Frank in the corner with his boot, and breaks at 4. Santana brings Frank out of the corner, and gives him a gutwrench suplex! Santana then gets to his feet, and drops a standing kneedrop, then covers... 1.. 2........ Kickout! Santana whips Frank into the ropes, and catches him with a powerslam, then tags in Simon. Simon waits on Frank to get up, then measures him, comes off the ropes and hits a big swinging neckbreaker! Simon then climbs to the top rope, gets his balance...and hits a big LEGDROP!!! Simon gets up and celebrates. COLE Why isn't Simon covering? COACH Oh, he wants the referee to count Frank out! Hey, they're up two guys, Cole, I think they can afford this right here. Under the instruction of Sarcastic Simon, the referee counts... ONE!!!!! TWO!!!!!!!!! THREE!!!!!!!! FOUR!!!!!!!!!!! FIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SIX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SEVEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Frank struggles to his feet, and Simon drives him with a backbreaker, then goes up once again! COACH If he hits him here, that has to be it, and then you've got the Heavenly Rockers against SIX men, Cole! However, Frank rolls out of the way, and Simon comes up empty on a big elbow! Both men struggle to their corners, and Simon tags Quentin Benjamin as Frank tags his brother, Frankie! COLE There's the tag! SOONERLINE~! for Benjamin! SOONERLINE~! for Ned! SOONERLINE~! for Moss! Frankie whips Benjamin into the ropes, and hits a powerslam! Cover... 1... 2....... One-Eye makes the save! Synth comes in with a dropkick, sending One-Eye through the ropes to the floor! Frankie sets up Quentin on the ropes, but does it in Quentin's corner, and Moss is tagged in unbeknownst to Frankie! Frankie sets up a belly-to-belly, but Moss hammers him from behind and sets him up on his shoulders! Benjamin jumps off...but Frankie CATCHES HIM IN A POWERSLAM WHILE ON MOSS'S SHOULDERS~!!! COLE OH MY GOD!!! COACH That was UNBELIEVABLE!!! Frankie covers Benjamin, but Moss drops an elbow. COACH It's Charlie Moss the legal man, however, a tag was made right there. Moss hits a SUPERKICK~! on Frankie, then tags in Santana. Santana picks up Frankie for a PRESS SLAM (!), but a blind tag is made to Synth, who dropkicks him from behind in the knee, causing him to fall back and Frankie lands on top of him! Usher then climbs into the ring as Santana is getting up, and the Rockers hit THE PERCUSSION~!!!!!11111 Synth covers... 1.... 2.............. 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! COLE The Militia is out!!! And we're even once again! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 6th elimination: The South Central Militia (17:31) eliminated by: The Heavenly Rockers (Synth Esizer pinned Vincent Santana) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Ned sneaks up on Usher, but Usher sees him coming and sends him to the floor with a left hand! Meanhwile, the Militia are still on the apron complaining. Synth reaches through the ropes to grab Ned, and Santana jumps off the apron and drops his forearm on the back of his head! COLE Wait a minute! Those guys should be out of here! COACH And that's the arm with the steel plate in it, Cole! Synth looks to be out of it! Ned rolls into the ring and covers... 1..... 2............... 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!! COLE DAMN IT! Outside interference from the ELIMINATED South Central Militia causes the elimination of the Heavenly Rockers! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 7th elimination: The Heavenly Rockers (18:01) eliminated by: The New New Midnight Express ("The Handsome Hustler" Ned Blanchard pinned Synth Esizer) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COACH And now look at the sides, Cole! It's the Sooner Bruisers all by themselves against Team Heyross AND the Express! Frankie comes into the ring, as Ned tags in Charlie Moss. Moss grabs a side headlock, and is sent into the ropes, and knocked down with a shoulderblock. Moss gets up, and Frankie grabs a side headlock of his own. Moss backs him into the ropes, and Benjamin tags himself. Moss pushes Frankie into the ropes, then drops down, and Benjamin knocks Frankie to the mat with a windmill kick! COACH Great teamwork by Team Heyross, the blind tag and the windmill kick from Quentin Benjamin. Moves like that are the reason that they've yet to lose a match here in the OAOAST! Benjamin picks up Frankie, and drives him with a Blue Thunder Driver! Cover... 1.... 2.............. Kickout! Benjamin goes up to the top rope, and waits on Frankie. When Frankie gets to his feet, Benjamin comes off the top with a clothesline! Another cover... 1........ 2............ Frankie gets a shoulder up! Benjamin throws Frankie to the outside, then goes over and draws Frank into the ring. Meanwhile, Rick Heyross picks up Frankie on the outside and holds him in a front facelock, as Jim Cornette nails him on the back with his tennis racket! COLE And look at the cheap shot there by Cornette with the racket! Frankie is rolled back into the ring, and Benjamin tags in Ned. Ned lays Frankie across the ropes, and puts a knee to the back, choking him across the ropes, breaking at 4. Ned brings him out and hits a back suplex, then covers... 1.. 2........... Kickout again! Ned tags in Charlie Moss, who rolls Frankie over onto his stomach and plants his knees into his back. COLE Submission move coming up here from Charlie Moss! Moss crosses the feet of Frankie, then grabs them as well as his face, and rolls over into a bow-and-arrow hold! COACH This could be the match right here, Cole! Moss pulls back on the neck as the referee asks Frankie if he wants to give it up. The referee soon notices that Moss's shoulders are down... 1... 2............ Moss releases the hold, and gives some shit to the referee. COACH Well, that's the danger of some of these mat submission holds, I've seen, over the years, titles actually change hands because the champion had on a submission hold on the mat and didn't notice his shoulders were down, Cole. Frankie gets a quick rollup on Moss! 1.. 2...... Kickout! Moss drops an elbow on Frankie as he gets up, and tags in Simon. Simon goes up to the second turnbuckle, and waits on Frankie. Simon jumps off...but Frankie catches him, and takes him over with a belly-to-belly! Frankie struggles to his corner, but is able to tag his brother! Frank comes into the ring and whips Simon into the ropes, and catches him with a tilt-a-whirl slam! Moss jumps in, and gets caught with a T-bone! Benjamin in, and Frank locks him up, and takes him down with a trapped-arm belly-to-belly! Frank measures Simon, and hits a SOONERLINE~! Cover... 1... 2..... Ned saves! Ned and Simon give Frank a double-whip, Frank ducks a clothesline and delivers a DOUBLE SOONERLINE~! Frank then gives a TIGER BOMB~! to Simon, and Cornette is up on the apron! Frank gives Cornette a big right hand, sending him down on the apron! Ned comes from behind and delivers a LOW BLOW to Frank, then sets him up for the Veg-O-Matic! However, Frankie sneaks in as the referee is trying to get Cornette off the apron, and delivers a SOONERLINE~!!! to Ned! Frank falls over on top as a result, and Frankie stops Simon as the referee counts... 1.... 2............. 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! COLE And we're down to one-to-one! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 8th elimination: The New New Midnight Express (22:03) eliminated by: The Sooner Bruisers (Frank Frankensteiner pinned Hustler Ned) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COACH It's the Sooner Bruisers against Team Heyross! Benjamin goes right to work on Frank, and hits a German suplex! 1... 2............ NO! Frank slides out of it! Benjamin waits on Frank to get up, and goes for a kick, but Frank catches the foot! Frank spins the foot around, but catches a windmill kick to the face as Benjamin comes back around! Benjamin tags in Moss, who runs to the ropes, but Frank drops to the mat, and catches him with the FRANKENSTEINER~!!!!!11111 on the way back! COLE FRANKENSTEINER!!! COACH It looks like he's going to try to make a tag instead of going for the cover! And tags are made on both sides! Frankie delivers SOONERLINES~! for both men, and then he uses one to take Moss out over the top rope! He then uses another to knock Rick Heyross from the apron to the floor! The crowd is going CRAZY~! However, Benjamin hits him with a dropkick from behind, sending him to the floor right out next to Moss! Frankie blocks a right hand from Moss and delivers one of his own, then gets up on the apron and drives a shoulder into Benjamin! Frankie then flips over the top rope for a sunset flip, but Benjamin drops down and hooks the right leg, and Moss pulls on Benjamin's right hand from the outside! COLE Wait a minute! Moss from the outside! 1...... 2.................... 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 *DING DING DING* COLE DAMN IT!!! Team Heyross steals it! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 9th elimination: The Sooner Bruisers (23:18) eliminated by: Team Heyross (Quentin Benjamin pinned Frankie Frankensteiner) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ BUFFER The sole survivors of the match...TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAM HEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSS!!!!! COACH Yeah, baby! Still undefeated! COLE What a incredible match, it's a damn shame it had to end the way it did! Punishment by BIOHAZARD hits as Team Heyross helps their manager up and back down the aisle, staring down the Bruisers on their way back. COLE Although they are undefeated, one still has to consider Team Heyross being the sole survivors in a match that included a pair of former tag team champions, and the highly talented Heavenly Rockers, a bit of surprise. What other surprises are in store for us on this special Thanksgiving edition of OAOAST HeldDOWN? Find out when we return. (BREAK ME OFF A PIECE OF THAT KIT-KAT BAR!) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted November 25, 2005 (edited) (RETURN FROM BREAK) The festivites continue, as our holiday edition of HeldDOWN~!, which has become the true Thanksgiving Night Tradition these past several years, returns to the airwaves. Greeting up upon our return are Triple C themselves, Michael Cole, Caboose, and The Coach himself, Jonathan Coachman. COLE Welcome back fans, and we hope you're enjoying your Thanksgiving just as much as you're enjoying yourselves tonight with HeldDOWN~! Right about now, well we're gonna take it to the ring and to a young lady who has requested some interview time tonight, so let's bring her out here right now! The sound of The Click Five's "Pop Princess" rings in the ears of the audience, and although they're unfamiliar with this particular theme, the AngleTron video and appearance of CANDIE on the entranceway draws a pop from them all. CABOOSE This girl looks better on her worst day than some women look on their best day! COLE So you're saying she never has a bad day? CABOOSE That's what I'm saying. COLE Can we expect a Coach level crush on Mr. Malibu's girlfriend, 'boose? CABOOSE Not even close, old chap. There will be no restraining orders in my future. COACH HEY!...who told you? Candie is all smiles as she comes down the aisle, slapping some hands before climbing up the steps and into the ring. Once inside, she throws an arm up to salute her fans, and briefly basks in the cheers of the crowd before taking the mic. COACH So, any idea what she's gonna say? CABOOSE She's going to profess her undying love for you and dump Malibu. COACH Now why would she do that on Thanksgiving!? CABOOSE Why would she do that at ALL? The neverending Coach/female species jokes continue, as the camera closes in on Candie, who appears ready to speak, albeit a little tense. CANDIE First of all, I want to say something to everyone who is celebrating Thanksgiving with the OAOAST tonight, and that is on behalf of the company, thank you so much for supporting us, and I hope that all is well on your holiday! The crowd applauds Candie's appreciation of the OAOAST fans and the Thanksgiving holiday, despite the fact that we're in Canada. However, America is watching and there are no doubt people applauding in their living rooms (and more than likely looking like complete asses in the process). CANDIE Now, I know that a lot of times some people come out to this ring and ask for mic time and have no real reason for it, or get the mic and don't know what to say. Well...I...um, OK this isn't going to be easy. I guess before I say anything I should bring out the person I need to say this to, so let's give it up for my boyfriend, give it up for ZACK MALIBU!!!!!!! The crowd rises to their feet as the lights dim, and seconds later "Getting Away With Murder" is cued, drawing an even louder collection of screams and shouts from the faithful fans that have filled up the seats tonight. Still clad in street clothes (specifically destroyed paint-splattered jeans and his Malibu:Proof of Excellence T-shirt (available now at all merchandise stands as well as OAOAST.com!)), Zack comes out and heads for the ring, while a smiling Candie awaits. COLE Looks to me that even Zack doesn't know what she's going to say. CABOOSE If past history is any indication, that may not be a GOOD thing, Cole. Zack enters the ring, and when he does Candie smiles at him, and then lunges forward and gives him a hug, which startles him. COACH Get a room, c'mon. CABOOSE You live out wet dreams on a weekly basis here, and a HUG disgusts you? You are a bitter, bitter man. Up in the ring, Candie takes a step back, still holding the mic, while Malibu plays to the crowd. CANDIE Zack, look, I know that this is a surprise to you, and I know that you've got a World Title match tonight, and a World Tag Team Title defense this Sunday night, but...there's something...there's something I need to say. Zack, who is micless, shrugs and tells Candie to say what's on her mind, as he's as curious as everyone else is. CANDIE I didn't know how to do this, I've thought about it for a few days now, and I felt that this being Thanksgiving, it was the best time...it was the best time to tell you what I'm most thankful for, and that's you. CROWD:"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!" CANDIE I'm thankful for everything you've ever done for me, everything you do for me...I just can't imagine anyone else in the world being as good of a boyfriend as you are...and I can't imagine anyone in the world being as good of a father as you're going to be. COLE WHAT!? CABOOSE WHAT?! COACH WHAT!? ZACK WHAT!? CROWD WHAT!? In the case of the crowd, the shocked reaction is followed by a roar, as Zack looks at Candie, and begins to smile. He asks her if she just said what he thinks she did, mouthing the exact words "You're pregnant?" CANDIE Yes...I'm, I mean we, we're going to have a baby! Zack is shocked and he paces the ring for a minute, rubbing his hand over his close cropped hair. He looks at Candie and asks her again if he's going to be a dad, and she nods to him. He then takes the mic, but can't speak right away, as he's choked up. ZACK I'm gonna...I...I'm gonna be a dad. I'M GONNA BE A DAD! The crowd roars, as Malibu takes Candie in his arms and gives her a huge hug, then locks lips with his ladyfriend. COLE Well I'll be, ALL RIGHT! CABOOSE I can't believe it! I'm gonna be an uncle! COLE So am I! COACH So am... CABOOSE You're not going NEAR that kid. COACH ... "CON-GRAT-U-LATIONS" (Clap clap clapclapclap) "CON-GRAT-U-LATIONS" (Clap clap clapclapclap) "CON-GRAT-U-LATIONS" (Clap clap clapclapclap) Zack's theme music hits as the crowd chants for the happy couple. Malibu exits the ring first, and then waits at ringside, making sure Candie exits carefully, watching her every move to make sure she's in perfect condition and that she and the little person growing inside her are safe. They make their way up the ramp, and as they do numerous fans hang over the railing and pat Zack on the back or shake his hand, as the most respected man in the OAOAST is going to be a father! COLE Now THAT was a shocker, and one that I'm glad took place on HeldDOWN~! CABOOSE I second that emotion! As Zack and Candie get to the top of the ramp, many of Malibu's friends, such as Leon Rodez, Josh Matthews, Calvin Szechstein, and Peter Knight appear, all applauding the happy couple. Zack and Candie get engulfed in the sea of people and ushered to the back, while the crowd is left ecstatic after Candie's revelation. COLE Folks, I don't know what news could top that, but we have plenty more in store for you here tonight, and we'll be back with more of the greatest wrestling company going today in just a few minutes, after this quick break! (GO TO BREAK) (THE RETURN OF THE MAC!) (Josh Matthews is waiting outside doing nothing of note when all of a sudden a sweet yellow Porsche 911 Carrera S Cabriolet with the Cali license plate “BADKID” comes screaming onto the scene. The car nearly hits the Tough Enough contestant, but fortunately (unfortunately?) he dives out of the way at the last possible second. The sports car pulls into a nearby parking space, as the young interviewer thinks he's having a heart attack. Who else should step out of the ultra hot car, but the ultra hot Krista Isadora Duncan, wearing six hundred dollar Gucci sunglasses, an embroidered red silk wrap, and a so short it might as well not be there daredevil mini jean skirt. She's carrying a bottle of Jack Daniels.) KRISTA What day is it? (Josh stands up with a giant wet spot on his pants. He either couldn't contain his excitement over seeing Krista, or he couldn't contain his fear over nearly dying.) JOSH Thursday! KRISTA What's your issue? JOSH You almost ran over my freaking foot! KRISTA Almost? Foot? Lucky you, chief. I was gunning for your entire body. I'll get you next time. JOSH Are you drunk? KRISTA Am I ever not drunk, Josh? JOSH Were you driving drunk? You were driving drunk! KRISTA Is that a crime? JOSH Yes! You're a mother, you're supposed to be against drunk driving! KRISTA Where's Soctty Static? JOSH Inside with everyone else who showed up on time and showed up sober. Why? What are you going to do to him? KRISTA Throw myself at his feet, tear the shackles off my heart and set my undying love free. What do you think I'm gonna do? (Krista walks off) JOSH Hey! You're parked in a handicapped spot! KRISTA Oooooh! Oh no. What are they going to me, sit in their chair and shake their fist angrily at me and give me the awkward eye? I'll get behind them and send them rolling down to San Diego. That's a long way down. I'm gonna feel real guilty about saying that in the morning. That and a hangover...not looking forward to it. JOSH I have to go prepare to interview Leon Rodez, but I'll be a pig in mud if I won't be writing my congressmen about this ADA violation! (Krista goes inside. She catches her target, Scotty Static of the GPX milling about at a concession stand, snacking on the finest of caviar. She collars him much to his dismay and alarm. He's so stunned to see her, he spits his expensive treat all over the wall.) SCOTTY Yipes! KRISTA We're gonna go for a walk, little buddy. How's that sound? It's such a beautiful night, we need to enjoy it. Make use of the two legs god gave us. I'd wish you a happy thanksgiving, but I don't celebrate thanksgiving because it celebrates the start of the white man's raping of the Native American peoples, so I wish you a happy Thursday. You want a drink? Are you old enough to drink? Josh already got me driving drunk and parking in a handicap space. He's gonna NARC. That's two strikes. I don't need a third, lady luck won't let me foul off any more pitches. You are kinda young. Jeez, you're young enough to be my son. Does your mom know you're out this late? SCOTTY Yo, there's a room full of witness who saw me with you... KRISTA I'm not gonna hurt you, Scotty. When it comes to the KID you've got it all wrong. You think I'm some kinda evil witch, well witches can be entertaining. Ever see Wicked? Heard it was good. I couldn't enjoy it because Alix kept whining she had to go potty and needed me to hold her hand because it was dark and she was afraid the flying monkeys might get her. I'm no monster. I was interviewed by Barbra Walters once. She made me cry. Monsters don't cry, Scotty. I'm not a monster. SCOTTY Jesus, you smell like my grandfather. KRISTA I've been thinking, and as a holder of two Masters degrees, it's good when I think, we're all a lot a like. You, me, the Upstarts, we're all similar people. You're evolutionary. I'm the same word with an r slapped in front. Revolutionary. Take a good look at me. I'm sure you like what you see. Everyone likes what they see, because I'm the best. I am the ideal woman. I am modeled in an image of perfection. When lard asses who are to lazy to hit the gym, so nobody's hitting on them, get on CNN and talk about the unattainable image of beauty the media presents to the world, they're talking about me. I am that unattainable image of beauty. Look me in the eyes. You're staring at a true original. Not some cheesy stable name assigned to a group of wrestlers with a vaguely stated common goal who rarely if ever interact with one another, but an honest to god original. There will always be another Zack Malibu, because there was a Zack Malibu before him, his name was Shane Douglas. And what's this about Candie having a kid? Who gives a shit? She passed a pregnancy test. Whoopdie do! That's only the test her dumbass could pass, because all she had to do was lie down and hope Pillman Jr. wasn't shooting blanks. She hasn't even had the damn kid. We don't even know if she's really pregnant. I had my kid. I've been in labor. Eighteen hours with a half a human head sticking out of me. There weren't any mouth breathing sycophants chanting congratulations. All I got was Ned over the phone, with whatever piece of jail bait he was screwing, panting, and him screaming “Shove it back in! Shove it back in! A dog can push his pink thing back in, and you love doing things doggy style! So do it!” SCOTTY Men are such pigs. Can I go now? KRISTA I'm bitter, I'm also drunk, I shouldn't have said that. I'm sorry, Candie. That's the demon liquor talking. That ain't me. You know I love you, baby. Come on home. I miss you, baby. Unlike the father to be and countless others here you can't replace me with a cheap ass second rate imitation. If I wanted to watch the Midnight Express, I'd go to whatever hickville high school Stan Lane is pissing his legacy away in, and I'd see the Midnight Express. I wouldn't waste my time watching some piss ant with Little Richard's haircut, Simon Singleton, impersonate them. You can not go somewhere else and find a better Krista Isadora Duncan. SCOTTY I kinda like Team Heyross. Don't kill me! KRISTA Scotty Static, you've got a better chance of seeing a Muslim eat pork then you do of mirroring Krista Isadora Duncan. Look at me, and appreciate everything that the god lord has set in front of you. When I retire, when I die in a fiery car crash at the age of fifty, that's it. There is no more Krista Isadora Duncan. All you'll have is your memories and some video tapes because after me there can be no more. A Krista Isadora Duncan comes along once in a lifetime. If you're lucky, if you're very lucky. I'm the true original, not these washed up, worn out at twenty six, dead at thirty three because of steroids nobodies they keep trotting out to stink up television sets week after week to ever declining ratings and ever increasing fan disinterest. Our ethically bankrupt government just got accused of acts of torture against suspected terrorists. You know what they did? They made them watch a Peter Knight match. No praise to Allah for that one. That was wrong of me to assume all terrorists are Muslim. I want in on the Upstarts, because I need mine. Every industry I've broken into, I've risen to the top so fast I might as well have a girlfriend named Trixe and a little monkey named Chim Chim, because I got their in record time like I was a speed racer. Do you think Alix would rather be Trixie or the monkey? I bet the monkey. Every industry has toppled, Scotty Static, except this one. Why is that? Why am I constantly shuffled behind Tha Puerto Rican, the Alfdogg's, who I thought was a canine version of the TV character Alf, the Dan Blacks? Because they won't let me rise to the top. They won't give my shot. Because they know if I get my shot, I'm gonna shoot and score, and they're gonna be shown the door. I could win any title, anyone I wanted. But I'm belt less. There are like twenty useless belts floating around is this stupid piece of shit federation, but no one has ever given me a chance to win one. Why's that, Scotty? SCOTTY Uh, I noticed I ain't dead yet. KRISTA Am I sleeping with the wrong people? Am I not shooting up with the right guys? No. It's because in the OAOAST I have no equal. There exists no peer for Krista Isadora Duncan. That ain't saying much 'cause Stephen Hawking is a better athlete then these needle dick assholes, but I'm a superior talent in every facet of the game, and every single person here is afraid of me. As they should be. To them I'm the Boogey Man, Freddy Kreuger, and Dracula rolled into Angelina Jolie's body. They hold me back, they talk about me, they don't include me, they look down on me, the announcers make snide comments about me. No one here wants to see Krista Isadora Duncan on top. They want her to lay down and take it, like a good little girl. They want to keep the top spots within their special circle jerk of uncreative, derivative jackass who rip off other equally untalented jackasses . They have every reason to be afraid of Krista Isadora Duncan. I'm afraid of Krista Isadora Duncan. I can't look myself in the mirror without shrieking like a scream queen. I'm like a tsunami tearing down their world. They better hope Jimmy Carter and Habitat for Humanity takes some pity on 'em, and builds a new home, because I'm gonna put them out of work. Go to any store in America and you'll see a Krista Isadora Duncan product front and center with the lights of the heavens shining down on it. I don't even use half the junk they've got my face on. But they still make it, and people keep buying, because the name Krista Isadora Duncan is a license to print money. With Jesus you can save, but with Krista you can withdraw. Industries have fallen before me, and there is no reason why a Mickey Mouse organization like the OAOAST won't be crumbling beneath my feet. I am the big bad wolf, and I don't give a shit if these pigs have got a house made of bricks, this big bad wolf is blowing their establishment down. You, like me, are an original. You actually have a personality that goes deeper then the typical “GRRR ME ANGRY WRESTLER! ME SMASH HEAD!” that runs through the chemically enhanced bodies of eighty five percent of the roster. Apparently that makes us like the OAOAST's version of the black plague, we're a quarantine worthy disease. They don't want people like us around. We're not a disease, Scotty. We're the future. We're beautiful. Let me join the Upstarts. SCOTTY Uh..serious? You really wannna join? I don't know. You're like thirty-four. What are you going to be? Our den mother? KRISTA Look, I can't be anymore useless then Bohemoth. I've got credentials Scotty! I'm on the PTA. I head up Maya's school's bake sale. Although it is hard to stop Alix from planting her magic grass into my non fat soy brownies. I've spoken at Yale. You can count the number of people you know who graduated highschool on one hand. If you can count at all. I have celebrity connections. I took a pilates class with Nicole Kidman. SCOTTY She was dope in Batman with George Clooney. He's my shit. Respect. KRISTA That wasn't Batman. That was The Peacemaker. I thought she looked pretty good with dark red...what the hell am I talking about? Am I in the group or not? SCOTTY Uh..um..we'll take you in. It's becoming a major sausage fest anyway, and Christian's starting to look pretty good to me. Wow. You're actually kinda cool. Here I was afraid of you, sticking pins into a voodoo doll, trying to hunt down Papa Shango to put a curse on you. But you're the dope shit. Respect. Can't be judging people after only a few thousand hours of intimate interaction. Good lesson to learn. I thought I'd stop learning life lessons when they took Reading Rainbow off the air. See I was wrong. Jesus, I thought you'd be mad about what we did to Alix. KRISTA Mad? Mad? Scott, don't be absurd! You thought I'd be mad that you blindsided her with a 2*4? You really thought I'd be upset that you choked her when she was knocked out like some kind of serial rapist? You thought I'd be angry at having to watch my best friend be pummeled while I sat helpless two timezones away? You probably thought I'd do something like drag you to a dark, isolated, part of the arena, then crack this bottle all over your head, and carve my initials into your forehead, while your blood mixes with the sweet, sweet, liquor. Am I right? SCOTTY Uh, yeah. KRISTA Hahahhhaahhaahah. Scotty Static, you like brain Christopher teamed with a young hairless Scott Taylor, are just to much. Hahahahaha! Why do I laugh? I'll tell you. Because I'd never waste Ol No.7 on you. (Krista stuns Scotty by punching him in the nose. She draws even more blood by slamming his face into the wall. The poor GPX member slumps to the ground, down, but not totally out.) KRISTA I meant what I said. I am the future. Upstart and Original will all come under the rule of Queen Krista. But you, and your friend made a horrible, horrible mistake attacking Alix, and now you've gotta pay for it a thousand times over. I hear there's a nice big bridge around here, Golden something, maybe you should jump off it, and see if you can come back as something more your speed, like a butterfly. I wouldn't hurt a butterfly, but I will hurt you. COACH Scotty's my boy and all, but he doesn't know how to handle the old bitches. Get Coach back there, and he's like Pledge, knocking the dust off that shit. High five. What's next? Edited November 25, 2005 by Patty O'Green Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted November 25, 2005 (edited) COLE I think Josh, having recovered, is backstage with Le-Ro! Meanwhile, standing backstage, ace reporter Josh Matthews is standing by with fellow ace reporter, albeit part-time, none other than Leon Rodez! But before Matthews gets chance to so much as open his mouth, he's interrupted by his guest. RODEZ HELLO AND WELCOME TO THE LOVE SHACK! I am of course, your ever-present host, Leon Rodez. Don't you wish your girlfriend was a freak like me? Oh yeah. And apparantly, joining me tonight is my special guest, Josh Matthews. Uh...I don't in all honesty know why, but whatever. Who am I to argue? So, Josh, welco... MATTHEWS Uh, Leon? RODEZ Yo. MATTHEWS This isn't The Love Shack. This is supposed to be me interviewing you. RODEZ It is? Oh, I'm sorry, force of habit. I did think that whole spiel seemed a little...out of place. MATTHEWS Yeah. An awkward silence falls over the two, before Rodez finally glances at Matthews and encourages him to continue. MATTHEWS HELLO AND WELCOME TO THE TALK SHOW OF MATH DESTRUCTION! Josh Matthews, your host...everybody, rock your body, everybody, Backstreet's back, ALRIGHT! And joining me on the M.D, as the kids like to call it, is my diggedy dizzog, Leon Rodez. *smiles* How was that? RODEZ That was...uh...yeah, great. MATTHEWS Honestly? RODEZ Oh, yeah. You ripped me off superbly. Not so keen on the name though. Math Destruction? More like Meth Abuse...ion. Anyway, Mass Destruction jokes jumped the proverbial shark at least a year back. Other than that, fantastic. Mic work like that'll have Stephen Joseph Pop'n'Fresh quaking in his boots, don't you worry. After all, you've got more victories over Zack than he has. Proudly, Matthews nods. RODEZ So...uh, questions? MATTHEWS Huh? Oh, yeah, questions. Coz, this is an interview. Yeah. So, tonight Leon Rodez, before we come to tonight, I wanted to get your thoughts quickly on November Reign which is of course on the horizon. Yourself and Zack Malibu will once again defend the OAOAST World Tag Team Championships against The Global Party Exchange. And, just announced by OAOAST General Manager, it will be a special 30 Minute IronTag Match. RODEZ IronTag? Is that anything like Laser Tag? MATTHEWS Uh... RODEZ Are we stuck in a really dark area with a whole bunch of corridors, having to sneak around like something out of James Bond and stealthily smack each other in the face with Irons? MATTHEWS Uh... RODEZ Is Nigel McGuiness going to be the Special Referee? MATTHEWS No, no. It's like an Ironman Match, but it's a tag team match. Obviously. So, the most falls in 30 minutes wins. RODEZ Oh. Well, in that case, that's all cool. Last month, me and Zack dealt with The GPX 2 out of 3 Falls. The GPX snuck the first fall, but luckily we had the chance to come back from that and prove that we're the better team. This month...the rules are basically the same. Only, different. Figure that one out. If The GPX cheat their way to victory in the first fall, then myself and Zack have time to recouperate, recover and pull back the score. Difference is, this month, we can come back even if they steal two falls. Or three falls. Infact, The GPX can cheat as much as they want. Until those 30 minutes are up, the party isn't going to be over. And believe me, Leon Rodez has plenty of experience in going 30 minutes...if you know what I mean. MATTHEWS I'm not sure I do. RODEZ Sex. MATTHEWS Oh. Re-cue awkward silence. RODEZ Uh...next question? MATTHEWS Oh, oh, yeah. Question. Yeah. Uh... RODEZ You know, this probably would have been better if it was The Love Shack. MATTHEWS Oh, I remember now! You're challenging for the X-Division Title tonight, against Peter Knight. And the rules of the match mean that if Peter Knight walks away from the match, he can lose to the title. So, the champion's advantage isn't in PK's corner tonight. Does that give you any added confidence? RODEZ Josh, if I can be serious for a minute...without being sued by anyone who previously used this catchphrase, of course...the X-Division Title holds a very special place in my heart. Infact, if you were to open me up and slice my heart into little segments, one of them would contain a mini X-Division title belt. So, you may be asking why I want Peter Knight's title if I already have one lodged in my inards. Well, for one, people can't see my heart. Duh. But besides that, I don't want a metaphorical belt. I want a real one. Another one. I'm greedy like that. For damn near 6 months, I had the X-Division Title belt strapped around my waist. Or, most of those six months. Obviously I had to remove it sometimes. MATTHEWS Are we talking about sex again. RODEZ No, I meant like showers and stuff. I kept it on during sex. MATTHEWS Oh. Re-re-cue awkward silence. RODEZ ...Peter Knight, you and I have fought over this X-Division Title before. You and I were involved in one of the matches of the year just a few months ago, Ultimate X. And you came out on top. I said it to you then and I'll say it to you now...I am coming for your belt. Only, this time, I'll actually take it. Not because I have an imaginary belt lodged in my heart. Not because I need something to wear during sex. But because that belt means more to me than it ever, EVER, could to you! Because for 6 months of my life, I gave my all for that title. Blood. Sweat. Tears. All types of bodily fluids. So, hopefully you've washed the belt since you got it. I made that title as important as it is today. Me. And Peter, I want to make this really clear. I have no problem with you. At all. I love each and every one of God's creatures equally. Except owls. I mean, seriously, what are they for? Besides keeping people awake at night when they're trying to get down with two gorgeous non-hookers. If I want something that'll eat mice, I'll get myself a cat. Or possibly a python. Now, that'd be a conversation piece. But Peter...I've completely lost my train of thought, so I'll simply say this. You and I are very much alike. What's been going on with you recently...I don't understand it, but it's not my business. All I ask of you is that you give me a fair match. Because Lord knows I won't get one come Sunday. Tonight, I just want a clean, fair, friendly challenge. Man to man. And that we settle it, in the ring, without you running away. Hopefully, hopefully...you'll give me that. Rodez nods to the camera, then to Matthews...then realises he's run out of things to nod at, so quickly makes his leave. COLE That Leon Rodez! He cracks me up! Great stuff. MICHAEL BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the Special Guest Referee for Tha Puerto Rican/Stephen Joseph Popick match at November Reign. He is a professional wrestling legend. A former governor of Minnesota. AND, the host of the OAOAST Body Shop. JESSE “THE BODY” VENTURRAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! “Welcome To The Jungle” by Guns N’ Roses starts playing. The crowd cheers loudly. The entrance doors slide open, and out walks Jesse “The Body” Ventura, clad in a black shirt, a leather jacket, black bandana, black pants, and cowboy boots. Ventura has a smile on his face as he raises his arms in the air. He walks down the ramp, waving to the fans. COLE Well, if you’re going to have a Special Referee for a pay-per-view main event, who better than “The Body” huh, fellas? COACH Absolutely. Jesse “The Body” Ventura has done it all in professional wrestling. He’s been a wrestler. An announcer in the WWF, WCW, and OAOAST. He’s been a mayor, a governor, and a security guard for the Rolling Stones. AND let’s not forget, he’s also been an actor as well, appearing in Predator and The Running Man with Arnold Schwarzanagger. Jesse enters the ring, causing the crowd to cheer. He waves to the fans, and then calls for a microphone. CABOOSE But his most important accomplishment will be this Sunday at November Reign, when he awards the match, and quite possibly the OAOAST World Title, to Tha Puerto Rican! COLE Well, that’s not a guarantee yet. CABOOSE It is in my mind! Jesse Ventura grabs a microphone. “Welcome To The Jungle” by Guns N’ Roses dies down. The crowd is still cheering, chanting “JES-SEE! JES-SEE! JES-SEE! JES-SEE!” JESSE “THE BODY” VENTURA Now… The crowd is still cheering. Jesse smiles. JESSE VENTURA Man it’s great to be here! CROWD YEAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!! COLE This crowd loves Jesse Ventura! Jesse tells the crowd to quiet down. He finally begins to speak. JESSE Now, the OAOAST has given me the unenviable task of refereeing the main event of this Sunday’s November Reign between the One And Only AngleSault Thread Twenty-Four/Seven Champion, “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican. CROWD YEEEAAAAHHHHH/BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! JESSE (CONT’D) And the One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Champion, Stephen Joseph Popick. CROWD BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! JESSE And if Stephen Joseph wins his Triple Threat Match tonight against Alfdogg and Zack Malibu, then that match will be for the OAOAST World Title. This is a match almost two years in the making, so who better to referee this much anticipated match but Jesse “The Body” Ventura? COLE I’ll drink to that. CABOOSE Drink what? An ice cream soda? VENTURA Now. I’m here tonight because we’re going to have both competitors in the main event this Sunday at November Reign speak to the audience. So, without any further ado, please welcome first, the current One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Champion. He is a member of OAOAST Corporate. STEPHEN JOSEPH POPIIICCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!! “It Ain’t Over For Me” by Terrance Howard starts playing. Pyro cascades down from the top of the arena. The crowd starts booing loudly. The entrance doors slide open, and Stephen Joseph Popick steps out, the OAOAST World Title shining around his waist. The boos get louder as Popick smirks at the crowd, holding his arms out in a crucifix position. PYRO~! PYRO~!! PYRO~!!! PYRO~!!!! Stephen Joseph laughs evilly while walking to the ring as “It Ain’t Over For Me” continues playing. CABOOSE BOO! YOU SUCK! BOO! HISS! COLE Caboose, are you a commentator or a fan? CABOOSE Well, I’m not a fan of Popick. That’s for damn sure. COLE We know that very well. SJP climbs the steps and scales the turnbuckle with one leg on top. He scans the crowd with a smirk on his face. CABOOSE That’s the kind of face I want to punch right now. COLE Caboose, keep your cool. CABOOSE I’m trying Michael. I’m trying. Stephen Joseph gets off the turnbuckle, and shakes hands with Jesse Ventura. COLE He is called “The Most Hated Man In The OAOAST” for a reason. Stephen Joseph has gotten his share of enemies in the past four years, ever since the beginning of the OAOAST. But I still can’t believe that the alliance between him and Tha Puerto Rican has practically ended in the past four weeks. COACH Me either Michael. PR was the only person in the OAOAST who actually LIKED Popick. They’ve become friends in the past year and a half, and we’ve seen their friendship deteriorate in only four weeks. “It Ain’t Over For Me” by Terrence Howard dies down. Jesse starts speaking again. JESSE And now. Please welcome. A former OAOAST North American Champion. A 3-time Puerto Rican/Italian/Puerto Rican Champion. And the current One And Only AngleSault Thread Twenty-Four/Seven Champion. “The Corporate Champion” THA PUERTOOOOOO RICCCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNN!!! *THE CHAMP IS HERE!* A lightning bolt hits the entrance. “Know Your Role ‘99” starts playing. Smoke fills the entryway. The entrance doors slide open, and “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican appears to a mixed reaction. PRL is clad in his suit and tie and is in a bad mood. He power walks down the ramp, dragging his custom made spinner 24/7 Championship belt along the way. He curses at Popick, and then enters the ring, dropping the 24/7 Title on the ground. PR and Popick get into a face-to-face yelling contest. COLE Uh-oh. PRL and Popick are going to go at it right now! CABOOSE Yeah! Let ‘em go at it! Let PRL tear Popick apart! Jesse “The Body” Ventura steps in between PR and Popick. JESSE All right. All right. Gentlemen. Gentlemen. Calm down. You’ll rip each other apart this Sunday. Now is not the time. Not now! Ventura pulls PRL and Popick away from each other. “Know Your Role ‘99” dies down. The crowd is mixed, cheering and booing. A good portion of the crowd chants “P.R.! P.R.! P.R.!” but an even louder portion chants “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” PRL paces back and forth, while Popick taunts him. COLE These fans are 50/50 when it comes to PRL. CABOOSE But they’re 100% against Popick, and that’s all that matters. JESSE VENTURA Okay. Now Stephen. You’re first. Say what’s on your mind. Jesse hands Stephen Joseph the microphone. The crowd boos. Popick smiles. He looks at PRL while he speaks. STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK Now, PRL. I know you’re pissed over what’s happened in the past few weeks. But please try to understand. I don’t despise you. I don’t hate you. You’re my friend. My amigo. My homie. We’re buds. And I would hate for our match this Sunday to end our friendship. I mean think about how your career has been since we formed our alliance. You’ve become 24/7 Champion. Your friends, The Lightning Crew, have become stars in their own right. And you’ve become a certified main eventer as evidenced by the fact that you’re headlining the pay-per-view this Sunday. And who is the man to thank for all of this? Me. Stephen Joseph! I’ve done exactly what I said I would do. I have helped your career for the better. I have led you to places you’ve never been to. I have guided you to the glory. As your “Career Consultant” P.R., I’ve taken you from a man, who was losing to people like The Mad Cappa, to a man who is the longest reigning 24/7 Champion in OAOAST history. And it is all thanks to me. So Puerto, when you are in the ring with me this Sunday, November Reign, I’ll defend my title, and I’ll do it by any means necessary, but remember, I don’t hate you. I just want to still remain OAOAST Champion. Thank You. The crowd boos. A “POP-PICK SUCKS!” chant starts. Popick smiles as he hands the mic over to Jesse Ventura. CABOOSE What a bunch of bullcrap. Jesus. Stephen Joseph Popick is full of crap! COLE I doubt Tha Puerto Rican is buying what Popick’s selling. JESSE PR, it’s your turn to speak. Jesse hands the mic over to Tha Puerto Rican. A mixed reaction greets the P.R. Menace. PRL looks at the crowd with a serious look on his face. The crowd awaits PRL’s response. THA PUERTO RICAN Stephen Joseph that was without a doubt the most ridiculous promo I’ve ever heard in my entire life! The crowd actually cheers this statement! PRL All the success I’ve had in my career is all thanks to you? To YOU? My God, I’ve never realized until now how much of an egomaniac you really are! Let’s look at what you just said. I’m 24/7 Champion thanks to you? Uh-uh! I EARNED that title! I earned it by being the most electrifying man in professional wrestling and by laying the smackdown on anybody who came in my way! CABOOSE Yeah! That’s right! COLE Actually Popick handed him the tit-uh nevermind. PRL Then you said that The Lightning Crew have become superstars thanks to you. WRONG AGAIN! The reason Lindsay, Vitamin X, Cuban Wall, and Mr. Boricua have all become superstars is because THEY, like me, WORKED HARD! And damnit! I’m proud of them for it! COLE Well, that is true. PRL And as for me being a main eventer? Stephen, I would have become a main eventer without or without your help! You know why? Because I am “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican! I am the P.R. Menace! I am the greatest Puerto Rican athlete of all time! That’s why! The crowd cheers! Tha Puerto Rican walks towards Stephen Joseph. Popick is starting to get worried. PRL Stephen, this Sunday, November 27th, at November Reign. I am going to give it my all. I am going to give you 110% of my ability. Hell, this Sunday, I am going to HURT you! By now, PRL has driven Popick to a turnbuckle. PRL (CONT’D) Stephen, I am going to make you regret screwing me out of the OAOAST Title. I am going to kick your ass from pillar the post. As far as I’m concerned, our match this Sunday at November Reign can end in only three ways. 1. The Corporate Nightmare. 2. The Corporate Smackdown. Or 3. The most electrifying move in professional wrestling, the IntenseZone Elbow! And then, hopefully, once the smoke has cleared and the dust has settled, Tha Puerto Rican will walk out of November Reign the NEW World Heavyweight Champion! COLE PRL is certainly confident he will beat Popick this Sunday! CABOOSE He has every right to be. Tha Puerto Rican paces back and forth, staring at Popick. PRL I still remember what you said to me after we had our match four weeks ago on HeldDOWN~!. You looked me right in the eye, and said, “It’s nothing personal. Its just business.” Yeah. That’s what you said. “It’s nothing personal. It’s just business.” The crowd boos. Popick nods and smiles. PRL Yeah. WELL LISTEN HERE YOU FOUR-EYED BASTARD! The crowd cheers. PRL When you try to take away the one thing that matters the most to me. When you try to take away what I’ve worked my entire career for. When you SCREW ME out of the most prestigious prize in our industry: you’re damn right it’s personal! COLE PRL is really letting it all out. COACH You can feel the hatred he feels for Popick right now! PRL Popick, I need to be World Champion. You would know that better than anyone. And yet you…you…(PRL takes deep breath) you still went ahead and did what you did. Well, I’m not going to let that go unpunished! This Sunday at November Reign, I will make you pay for what you’ve done! This Sunday at November Reign, I will whoop your candy ass from one side of the ring to the other. And Stephen, Stephen, I hope that you win your match tonight, because I would love it, I would love it so damn much, if I beat you this Sunday at November Reign, to become the next One And Only AngleSault Thread Champion! COLE PRL’s confident. He believes he will become Champ this Sunday at November Reign! CABOOSE Oh yeah, it’s gonna happen. Go get him P.R.! PRL continues pacing back and forth. Suddenly, he stops. PRL Say. Why wait till Sunday? Why don’t we get it on right here, right now? The crowd likes that idea very much. Popick doesn’t. Tha Puerto Rican drops the mic and removes his sunglasses and sports jacket. POPICK Now P.R., P.R. Puerto. Please. Not now. Now is not the time! Puerto, please. Think things through. Our match is in three days. Think things through! PRL isn’t listening. Instead, he takes off his tie, and rolls up his sleeves. POPICK P.R., Not now. Look at me. I’m not prepared. I’m not in my ring gear. Wait till Sunday. Not now. PRL gets into another yelling contest with Stephen Joseph. The crowd gets hot, anticipating a brawl between PRL and Popick any minute now. COLE This situation is going to explode at any moment! COACH Oh boy. I can’t wait! This is going to be good! PRL and Popick are still jawing with each other. Suddenly, the crowd starts cheering. Spanish Fly runs down the entrance ramp! COLE It’s Spanish Fly! Fly enters the ring and attacks Tha Puerto Rican! He then attacks Stephen Joseph! He goes back and forth attacking PRL and Popick! Fly whips Puerto into the ropes, and follows with a dropkick! Spanish Fly then whips Popick into the ropes. He also gets a dropkick! PRL is back up, so he brawls with Fly. Fly whips PR into the ropes again, and gives him a drop toehold onto the second rope. The crowd cheers. COLE Uh-oh. You know what time it is! CABOOSE Oh God. Not the stupid, stupid 6-1-9! Spanish Fly looks at the crowd. SPANISH FLY 6-1-9! Spanish Fly bounces off the ropes…into a clothesline from Stephen Joseph! COLE Oh my God! That nearly took his head off! Stephen Joseph kicks Spanish Fly while he’s down. Tha Puerto Rican gets off the second rope and looks at Popick. After glaring at him for a second, he too, kicks Spanish Fly while he’s down. PRL and Popick do a beatdown on Spanish Fly. The crowd boos loudly. COLE And now look at this! Tha Puerto Rican and Stephen Joseph Popick are teaming up against Spanish Fly! COACH I’m sure Tha Puerto Rican doesn’t hate Stephen Joseph as much as he hates Spanish Fly. CABOOSE Oh damn! Why is this happening! I HATE seeing PR and Popick team up. I hate it every damn time! Popick and PR continue beating down Fly. Popick tells PRL something. He heads to the outside and climbs the turnbuckle. Tha Puerto Rican picks up Spanish Fly and places him in between his legs. He lifts Spanish Fly up in a piledriver position. Popick gets on the top rope. He gives PR the thumbs up… and then jumps off the top rope, helping PRL do the Spike Piledriver on Spanish Fly! COLE A Spike Piledriver! Tha Puerto Rican and Stephen Joseph just gave Spanish Fly a Spike Piledriver! COACH Spanish Fly is out cold following that! Tha Puerto Rican slaps Fly in the face. Popick celebrates his latest evil deed, raising his arms in the air with a smile on his face. The crowd boos loudly. Popick applauds PRL, and then puts his hand out for a handshake. COLE Is Popick asking for a truce? Tha Puerto Rican glares angrily at Popick. He then gives him the “Up yours!” hand gesture and leaves the ring leaving Popick puzzled. The crowd is cheering. Puerto grabs his spinner 24/7 Championship and walks back up the ramp, glancing at Popick every few seconds with a sneer on his face. COLE I don’t know what PRL is thinking. First, he says he’s going to hurt Popick at November Reign, then he helps Popick take out Spanish Fly, then he refuses to shake his hand! COACH Popick is confused too. So are the fans apparently. CABOOSE I was hoping PRL would punch Popick in the jaw. Too bad Spanish Fly had to ruin it! Freaking midget! COLE It looks like PRL considers Popick his enemy heading into November Reign this Sunday. But knowing him, I’m not too sure. COACH A lot of questions will be answered this Sunday, one of which is whether or not Tha Puerto Rican and Stephen Joseph Popick are still allies. COLE Well, we still got more Thanksgiving HeldDOWN~! to come. We’ll be back after this! “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican is still walking up the ramp, carrying his custom made spinner 24/7 Championship belt, glancing at Popick every few seconds with a sneer on his face. Stephen Joseph Popick is still in the ring, puzzled. Jesse “The Body” Ventura is still in the ring. A few fans at ringside start chanting “P.R.! P.R.! P.R.! P.R.!” as we go to break. (FADE OUT) (COMMERCIALS) Edited November 25, 2005 by Tony149 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted November 25, 2005 (edited) BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall with a 30 minute time limit and it is for the OAOAST X-Division championship! In this match, the title can change hands via count out or disqualification. *GOOOOOOOOOONNNNG!!!!! “YEAHHHHHHHHHH!!” “C’mon man” “DON’T CALL IT A COMEBACK.....” Mama Said Knock You Out hits the PA as the challenger struts through the sliding doors, spinning around to show off his shimmering robe and shined up tag title belt. BUFFER Introducing first, the challenger; from Grand Rapids, Michigan, he weighs in at two hundred and twenty-eight pounds. For 6 months he held the title he is fighting for tonight, going down in history as one of the greatest X-Division champions in the OAOAST. He is also one half of the World Tag Team Champions. Ladies and gentlemen, the “Silky Smooth One”......LLLLLLLLEONNNNNNN RRRRROOOOODEEEEEEEZZZZ!!! Rodez hops up onto the apron, saluting the capacity crowd as he steps through the ropes. He walks over to Buffer and asks for the mic as his music fades. RODEZ Hold up for a minute. I know this is a big match coming up, but I just want to wish everyone here and everyone watching a Happy Thanksgiving. I know about half our audience is probably so stuffed with turkey that they are asleep in front of the TV right now, so I think it is safe to do something that might make me look a little silly, but hey, we’re here to have some FUN, right? “YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!” RODEZ That’s what I like to hear! Now come on, everybody; let’s do a special Thanksgiving dance! Come on, up on your feet. Hit the music. *dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun *clapclapclapclap* Suddenly, Rodez launches into the chicken (or turkey, in this case) dance. The crowd joins in, not laughing AT Leon but WITH Leon (at least, that’s what he wants to believe). COACH I don’t believe this.....sit DOWN, Michael. COLE (clapping along) You can’t say Leon Rodez doesn’t know how to get these fans behind him, guys. CABOOSE I just hope he isn’t getting *TOO* loosened up here, because his opponent isn’t in the mood for games. Rodez then breaks into the Funky Chicken, flapping his arms like wings and bobbing his head. RODEZ Funky Chicken! Well, Funky Turkey, in this case. Same difference. Rodez continues dancing, but the beginning strains of Oh Hell Yeah breaks up the party. Rodez shrugs and begins to warm up as the X-Champion steps out onto the stage, lightly shaking his head at him. “BOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!” The crowd boos more because of the interruption in their fun than anything else. Knight stares straight ahead at the ring as he walks, not even attempting to play to the crowd. BUFFER And his opponent; from Fall River, Massachusetts, weighing in at two hundred and sixty-five pounds. He is the current reigning X-Division champion......PETERRRRRRRR KNIIIIIIIIIGHT!! COLE We have seen a definite change in attitude in our X-Champion over the past month. A few weeks ago he turned down a reunion with his former tag team partner The Parka, choosing instead to defend his title against him two weeks ago, apparently thinking that Parka would not be a difficult opponent. Unfortunately, things didn’t go the way he thought, so he ended up walking out of the match and got counted out. GM Calvin Szechstein, not at all happy, made a rematch for this Sunday at November Reign and also made this match tonight, with the stipulation in both matches that Knight can lose the title by countout or DQ. CABOOSE These two have faced off in the past, the most well known being the Ultimate X match at License to Pin, but this actually is the first time these two have gone one-on-one in the ring. Referee Tim White takes the belt from Knight and raises it for the fans to see before handing it off to Buffer. He checks both men for foreign objects and, not finding any on either man, steps back and calls for the bell. *DING DING* Leon and Knight circle, sizing each other up. Knight feints going for a lockup, causing Rodez to quickly jump out of the way. They circle again and this time lock up, Knight using his power advantage to back Rodez into the corner, breaking cleanly at three. They return to the center of the ring and size each other up once more before locking up again. Rodez quickly grabs a side headlock, but Knight backs him into the ropes and shoots him off, dropping down as he comes back, but Rodez hops over him and bounces off again, this time leapfrogging Knight as he ducks down for a backdrop. Rodez bounces off again and charges towards Knight, but he gets his 265 pound body in the air high enough to leapfrog Rodez. He tries a hiptoss as Rodez returns again, but Rodez floats through it and armdrags Knight to the mat, catching Knight with another as he gets up......followed by one more, leaving Knight seated on the mat in the corner. He slaps the canvas as Rodez eggs the crowd on. COLE Guess you were wrong, Caboose; Rodez definitely seems ready for this one. Knight gets back to his feet and extends his arm, wanting to have a test of strength with Rodez. Rodez cautiously extends his own arm and makes contact with Knight’s hand. They lock fingers and Knight pulls him in, kneeing him in the chest and ramming his head into the turnbuckle. He nails him with a few rights and whips him into the opposite corner. He charges in, looking to follow up, but Rodez quickly avoids the charge and Knight hits the turnbuckles, stumbling back into a schoolboy. 1.... 2.... But Knight kicks out. Rodez pulls him up by the hair, but Knight stuns him with a shot to the gut and pushes him into the ropes again. He tries a clothesline, but Rodez ducks it and shoots off the opposite side, but Knight is ready for him as he pushes Rodez upwards with a flapjack and steps back, letting Rodez splat face first on the mat. He goes for the cover. 1...... 2..... But Rodez kicks out. Knight grabs Rodez’ arm, pulling it behind him while digging his knee into the back. COLE Knight is slowing the pace way down here, because Rodez is well known for being able to run circles around his opponents. COACH I swear this guy acts like a monkey on PCP sometimes. Knight applies more pressure as Rodez uses his legs to try and find the ropes to force a break. He manages to scoot along on his bottom and gets close to the ropes, but Knight notices this and takes his knee off the back, dragging Rodez by the arm back towards the center of the ring and dropping an elbow, but Rodez quickly sits up, causing a miss. Both men get back to their feet, both favoring their arm. Knight grabs Rodez again and knees him in the gut, pushing him into the corner and, with his good arm…. *SLAP* “WHOOOOOOOO!!” *SLAP* “WHOOOOOOOO!!” *SLAP* “WHOOOOOOOO!!” Fires off the chops. That doesn’t faze Rodez much however, as he grabs Knight and switches positions…. *SLAP* “WHOOOOOOOO!!” *SLAP* “WHOOOOOOOO!!” *SLAP* “WHOOOOOOOO!!” *SLAP* “WHOOOOOOOO!!” *SLAP* “WHOOOOOOOO!!” Fires off five chops. He grabs Knight’s arm and whips him into the corner, charging in and leaping into the air, following it up by crashing into Knight with a Shining Wizard. Knight stumbles out of the corner stunned and eats a standing dropkick, with Rodez quickly going for the pin. COLE He might have it here. 1..... 2..... NO! Knight barely gets his shoulder up. CABOOSE Ooh, almost. Rodez is starting to feel it. Rodez pulls Knight up by the hair and twirls his finger in the air, backing up towards the corner. Rodez climbs the turnbuckles and sits on top and hooking Knight’s head. COLE Look out here. Rodez looks like he’s going for a tornado DDT COACH Rodez wants to finish it right now. Rodez adjusts himself on top and readies himself to jump off, but Knight nails him with a shot to the gut, followed by another….and another, which releases Rodez’ grip on him. Knight turns around and grabs Rodez’ wrists, pulling forward and flipping Rodez off the top and slamming him onto his back. Rodez writhes in pain as Knight shakes the cobwebs out and goes for the pin. 1...... 2..... 3.....NO! Rodez got his foot on the bottom rope. Knight sits on his knees and lets out a breath before grabbing Rodez by the locks and pulling him up, but before he can do anything, Rodez slaps his arms away and stuns him with a jab! “YEAHHHHHHHH!!” A jab! A jab! A jab! A jab! Rodez turns and blows the kiss to the crowd and sticks his foot out to set up the enziguri, but Knight holds on to it, leaving Rodez hopping on one foot. Knight pushes the foot away, spinning Rodez around, but Leon uses the momentum to swing around and smash his foot into Knight’s head with a whip kick, sending him reeling and draping him on the middle rope. “YEAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!” Rodez nods and turns towards the ropes, doing the Funky Chicken once again before he sprints into the ropes, bouncing off and charging towards Knight, leaping and draping his leg across Knight’s spine. COACH …… COLE Fine, I’ll do it. CALL THAT BITCH BOJANGLES~! Knight collapses to the mat and Rodez drags him to the center of the ring before going for the pin. 1...... 2...... 3!!! – NO! Knight just gets his shoulder up before the pin. COLE Leon Rodez was just inches away from becoming the X-Champion once again. COACH And Peter Knight was just inches away from being the ex-X-Champion. (Grin) CABOOSE (Golf clap) Rodez grabs Knight’s arm and leg and drags him towards the corner, making a throat slash gesture, informing everyone what he wants to try. “YEAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!” COLE This is it guys, Rodez is going for the 450. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!” CABOOSE Oh come on, not again. The crowd rises and boos as Scotty Static and Johnny Jax appear on the stage and run down the aisle. COLE Dammit, they did this last week during Rodez’ World Title match. Why are they out here now? COACH They don’t want Rodez to win any titles, Cole. Is that too hard to understand? Rodez runs towards the ropes as the GPX hop onto the apron and slug both of them back to the floor. Unfazed, they hop back on only to get knocked down again. “YEAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!” COLE Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere’s ZACK! They must have known that the GPX would try something again! Zack Malibu sprints down the aisle and runs right into Johnny Jax, spinning him around and slugging him on the floor. White goes to the floor to attempt to break up the brawl as Leon and Static trade blows on the apron. Rodez tries a right, but Static ducks it, grabbing Leon’s head and snapping him throat first on the top rope. As the GPX double team Zack on the floor, Rodez stumbles back, coughing for air, but stumbles right into a fireman’s carry by Knight! He steadies himself and spins Rodez off, drilling him into the mat with the Knightmare!! He covers as White slides back in, unaware of the assist by Static. 1..... 2...... 3!!!!! *DING DING* COACH Ah ha! The GPX screwed Rodez out of another title! Static and Jax shove Zack off and high five as Knight gets his belt and his hand raised by the referee. BUFFER Here is your winner, and STILL the OAOAST X-Division champion......PETERRRRRRRR KNIIIIIIIGHT!!!! Knight raises his belt and pumps his fist, happy about the win until he sees the GPX staring at him from the aisle. Knight looks at them with confusion as a staredown commences. Suddenly, the GPX begins applauding Knight. CABOOSE What the hell is that all about? Zack, having slid into the ring to check on his partner, is asking himself that same question as he looks first at the GPX clapping and then at Knight. Knight’s confusion seems to increase as he watches them back up the aisle, still applauding. COLE Well, this is definitely a head scratcher. The GPX get the best of The Usual Suspects tonight, but it remains to be seen if they will in the Ironman tag team match coming up this Sunday at November Reign. COACH But you have to say this win by Knight, beating the man that held the title for nine months, gives him a new shot of confidence for his match against Parka this Sunday. COLE A lot of questions to be answered at November Reign. We’ll be back with more HeldDOWN in a bit. (GO TO BREAK) (RETURN FROM BREAK) Standing by the official OAOAST Interview area, backstage, which is very close to the OAOAST Starbuck's coffee stand Josh Matthews Stephen, what are you thoughts on facing both Alfdogg and Zack Malibu tonight, on Thanksgiving, for your World Heavyweight title? Stephen Joseph Can you believe they make this? ::Camera zooms in on obvious product placement:: Now, supposedly, one of their Vice-Presidents came into OAOAST Corporate last week after hearing that I was still searching for a catchphrase, since you, THE CHAMP IS HERE, and all that jazz. He thought I could call all my fans Poppycocks! Josh Matthews Poppycocks? Stephen Joseph Poppycocks. As if Poppyseeds weren't enough. WTF. All the Poppycocks are standing up as I enter the arena? That's some gay shit man, and I ain't gay. So firstly, there will be no Poppycock endorsement, no Popcorn endorsement, no more poppyseed bagels sold at our events, no more of this crap! I'm the World Champion... I don't need a damn catchphrase. I don't need any damn fans either. I got myself, and this title. Josh Matthews What about Tha Puerto Rican? Stephen Joseph I'll get ot him in a moment. First, tonight. I've got a has-been and a never-was wanting a SHOT at my title? Fine. No problemo. Alfdogg played second fiddle to me in the original Deadly Alliance. Now he has the DA's rejects back together? Big WHOOOP DE DOOO. That's some gay shit there. And speaking of gay, and shit, well that brings me to my other opponent, Mr. Pretty Boy himself, Zack Malibu. So this is how Zack Malibu wants to get the title, in an unfair triple threat match? Once a coward, always a coward, and Zack, I am personally coming for you tonight. Josh Matthews And what about Tha Puerto Rican? Stephen Joseph Ed, Ed buddy. Come Sunday, you're not going to recognize your old buddy. I am the MOST hated man in the OAOAST, and after what transpires on Sunday, you may just hate me that much more. Because come Sunday, I'll defend MY Heavyweight Title, and beat you right in the middle of the damn ring. Finality or Synchronicity, it doesn't matter. Maybe I'll hit both. Maybe I'll hit you with a chair. I don't really care, because friendship flies out once the bell rings. Come Sunday, I will retain my title.... by any means necessary...No one's taking this belt off of my waist unless you're willing KILL me. Puerto, will you be able to kill me on Sunday. I don't think so, because you're just not there yet. (BACK TO THE SC) CABOOSE Big words from a man who's an hour or so away from dropping his belt! COLE That remains to be seen. But, we'll be back with more. (GO TO BREAK) Edited November 25, 2005 by Patty O'Green Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted November 25, 2005 (edited) (RETURN FROM BREAK) COLE OAOAST HeldDOWN is brought to you by Elegance a fragrance by Krista Isadora Duncan. Love. Passion. Elegance. Available at upscale retailers across the globe. COACH That's it? We only have one sponsor?! And she works here! Ah! How am I gonna get paid? CABOOSE You....get.....paid? COLE Let's put the salary issues aside and go backstage where we have a situation developing. (We go backstage where we get a close up shot of Eddy Kalm's face. Eddy looks solemn as the camera pans back to show Peter Knight and Parka standing across from each other, but not looking at each other. Each man looks like he would rather be somewhere else.) EDDY The reason I asked you to both meet her tonight is so we can talk through this. The two of you used to be best friends and now you're about ready to kill each other! PARKA There's nothing to talk about. KNIGHT Well there's something we both agree on. EDDY Well I'm not going to sit here and believe that this friendship is over. KNIGHT Friendship? You call leeching off my popularity and riding my coat tails a friendship? PARKA We were in those battles together back in the day in case you've forgotten. We won the tag team titles twice and we did it as a team! We shredded our bodies on broken glass as a team! KNIGHT Go back and watch the tapes. I carried your sorry ass! EDDY Whoa whoa whoa! I don't remember talk like this back in the day. If you really felt this way back then you should have said something. KNIGHT I'll admit it, I was riding high on our success and at the time I didn't care, but when Parka went down with an injury and I got my chance at singles glory it became apparent where all the talent lied in the Dream Machines. PARKA Is that why you've failed to capture the OAOAST Title every time you've had a chance? (PK is obviously pissed at Parka's remark and starts to move towards him, but Eddy holds him back.) EDDY Okay tempers are starting to get out of hand. Let's all take a deep breath and... KNIGHT Shut up! PARKA Don't tell him to shut up. He's only trying to... KNIGHT Trying to what? Trying to play Dr. Phil? Well this isn't a family and we're not having "issues". Obviously you can't take the fact that I was the one who became successful after the Dream Machines and you weren't. Face it I'm the X Division Champ and you aren't. PARKA Well if you hadn't gotten scared and ran off during our match I might very well be the X Division Champ! KNIGHT I've already given my thoughts on that last week. PARKA Well I'm not buying it. KNIGHT Well you don't have to. PARKA You're right I don't. This Sunday I'll have my chance and this time there will be no walking away until the match is over. After the match you can walk off into the sunset and we never have to talk again if that's how you feel. However, you will not be leaving with that X Division title. (Parka places a finger on the belt as he says the last few words and PK swats it away. Eddy steps in before things get out of hand.) EDDY Alright let's calm down. KNIGHT Eddy you need to just stay out of this. You know what Eddy? I never liked you one bit. I mean what kind of a guy needs an anger coach anyway? Parka every time you didn't get your way you went crying to Eddy and I got sick of it. EDDY You know that's not true. KNIGHT No it is true. Parka you've gone soft. You don't have that killer instinct you had back in the day and that's why you've never amounted to anything since the team broke up. You're not the Parka I once knew. PARKA And you're not the Peter Knight I once knew. KNIGHT You're right...I'm a whole lot better. I've moved on to bigger and better things and as far as I'm concerned the Dream Machines are dead. The sooner you realize that the better it will be for you. PARKA I guess they really are dead, but I'm not. If you want killer instinct then you've got it. If this friendship is going to be over then let's end it with a bang. KNIGHT Fine then, no walking away and no taking it easy. After Sunday you'll know who the better half of the Dream Machines really was. (PK slaps the X Title and glares at Parka and Eddy before leaving.) COLE I guess the Dream Machines really have exploded. CABOOSE Imploded is more like it. COACH You think you're so clever, don't you? Screw you, Caboose. Screw you and your so called clever commentary. Parka needs to suck it up and quit being such a fat little bitch. You heard me, punk. If you don't like it come out and test me. What's next? The camera cuts to the interview area backstage. Otaku II is standing by with Josh Matthews. The crowd cheers. Otaku has a smile on his face. JOSH MATTHEWS Otaku II, this Sunday at November Reign, you will have another one-on-one match against The Lightning Crew’s Vitamin X. Last month at World Without End, you defeated X. Will the result be the same this month? OTAKU II Well Josh, I think so. I believe that I have Vitamin X’s number, and that at November Reign this Sunday, I will once again be the winner. Vitamin X may pretend to have a win against me, but you, me, and these fans all know that he’s lying. I defeated him last month fair and square with no cheating and no outside interference, and this month won’t be any different. J. MATH Otaku, Vitamin X will have The Lightning Crew by his side. While you are the leader of The Lightning Crew, there isn’t any Mad Machine member who is as big and strong as Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua. OTAKU II Well Josh, I realize this. I realize The Lightning Crew has two big men and we have none. But I don’t think that’s going to hurt my chances at beating Vitamin X this Sunday. I’ve beaten him once. And I’ll do it again. And I’ll— *BAM!* Vitamin X attacks Otaku II from behind! Josh Matthews runs away like the little coward that he is. Cuban Wall appears, and he and Vitamin X (who is in his street clothes) attack Otaku II. The crowd boos. COLE The Lightning Crew has struck again! COACH Vitamin X and Cuban Wall are double-teaming Otaku! Cuban Wall knees Otaku II in the stomach. He punches Otaku square in the face several times. Vitamin X punches Otaku in the face, does the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle, and then knocks Otaku down with a right jab. VITAMIN X BOO-YAH~!!! COLE Somebody stop this! This is terrible! COACH Where’s security? Cuban Wall kicks Otaku II in the stomach. Vitamin X goes off screen for a second, but then comes back with a steel chair. VITAMIN X Pick him up! Cuban Wall picks up the groggy and hurt Otaku II. He holds him up. Vitamin X has a sick smile on his face as he WALLOPS Otaku II over the head with the chair! COLE Oh my! Otaku II has been taken out with that chair! COACH And look! Vitamin X is still not done yet! Indeed. Vitamin X gets on top of Otaku and punches him in the forehead. Blood starts pouring from Otaku’s forehead. He grinds the point of his left elbow on the cut. He goes back to punching Otaku in the face while Cuban Wall cheers him on. COLE Otaku II has been busted open thanks to that BRUTAL chairshot! Vitamin X slaps the unconscious Otaku across the face, trash talking while doing so. VITAMIN X Yeah! Yeah! You like that? You like that? Huh? You like that? BOO-YAH~!!! YOU GOT NOTHIN’ PUNK! OTAKU! YOU ARE MINE, THIS SUNDAY! You are mine! I’ll see you Sunday! Vitamin X gets off of Otaku and sneers at him. The crowd boos. Cuban Wall smirks. Security finally arrives, and takes Vitamin X and Cuban Wall away. COLE They’re too late. Vitamin X and Cuban Wall have already done their evil deed. These guys are vicious! CABOOSE That’s what you have to be when you’re in The Lightning Crew! That’s the only way to be noticed by PRL. By being vicious! COLE Well, Vitamin X may have gotten the upper hand tonight, but I’ll bet it’ll be a different story this Sunday at November Reign where Otaku II and Vitamin X will collide head on, one-on-one! Security checks on the bloodied and unconscious Otaku II. The crowd is still booing. Edited November 25, 2005 by Tony149 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted November 25, 2005 (edited) COLE This Sunday, live on pay per view, the OAOAST brings to you November Reign brought to you buy the XBOX 360! COACH PS3 4 LIFE, BITCH! COLE Yes, right. Anyway, facing off in what's sure to be a fantastic Ironman tag team title match are the Global Party Exchange and The Usual Suspects, Zack Malibu and Leon Rodez! Will Zack enter that match as a tag team champion and a world champion? We'll see later on tonight. Also on the card, for the first time on pay per view is a women's Torneo Cibernetica Match. Having watched a few of those matches in Mexican promotions, I can tell you that's something you don't want to miss! CABOOSE In addition to that, the action heats up with a ten man tag team elimination match pitting Stevens & Heyross Incorporated against one of the most storied stables in wrestling history, The Deadly Alliance. An in an eight man elimination match, The boys from Jim Cornette Enterprises, The New New Midnight Express, and The South Central Militia go up against the greatest rock n wrestling band of all time, The Heavenly Rockers, and The Sooner Bruisers! COACH One of the biggest tag teams in the history of the OAOAST, The Dream Machines, erupts (I like that better then explode) when Peter Knight, by order of our GM, has to put his X title up for grabs against The Parka! Vitamin X will square off against his archival Otaku II. And in our mainevent, Tha Puerto Rican goes head to head with the man of legends Stephen Joseph for the Upstart's world title! CABOOSE And rumor has it, Axel will be in the building! (A picture of Axel pops up on the screen and the crowd cheers) COLE Don't miss it! (GO TO BREAK) (RETURN FROM BREAK) Magnum Opus: Father Padilla Meets the Perfect Gnat/Howling at the Moon hits and the crowd goes NUTS as Alfdogg walks through the curtains. COACH Main event time, baby! COLE And it's time for the World championship to be on the line, in a triple threat match! Let's go to Michael Buffer! BUFFER The following contest is a TRIPLE THREAT MATCH, for the OAOAST Heavyweight Championship of the WORLD! It is scheduled for one fall! Introducing the challengers...first, making his way to the ring, he weighs in at 240 pounds...ALFDOGG!!!!! COLE And this is Alf's first opportunity at the World championship since making his return at AnglePalooza! He defeated Tony Brannigan in a tremendous matchup to earn his way into this match! Alf gets in the ring and stretches. Getting Away With Murder hits and another enourmous pop from the crowd greets Zack Malibu. BUFFER From Providence, Rhode Island, he weighs in at 200 pounds...ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZACK MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMALIBUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!! COACH Zack with a win over Brock Ausstin last week, in very controversial style, as Brock was distracted by the music of the Sandman...in my opinion, it should be Brock Ausstin in this match with Alf and Steven! Zack slides into the ring into an opposite corner from Alf, and the two start trash-talking each other. It Ain't Over For Me hits and Stephen Joseph walks down the aisle to massive boos. BUFFER Introducing, from Atlanta, Georgia, he weighs in at 225 pounds! The reigning, and defending, OAOAST Heavyweight Champion of the WORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRLD...STEPHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENN NNNNNNNN JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! SJ is very cocky coming down the aisle as Zack and Alf inch closer to one another in the center of the ring. He does his corner pose, then hops into the ring, and he, Zack, Alf, and the referee stand across from one another, Zack from Alf, and SJ from the ref. The referee explains the rules, and the raises the belt in the air. *DING DING DING* COACH Here we go, baby! SJ bounces arrogantly as Zack and Alf jaw at each other, face-to-face. After a few seconds, however, SJ stops bouncing and a frown comes across his face. He starts shouting at Zack and Alf, who ignore him and keep jawing at one another. SJ then starts waving his arms in the air in attempt to draw their attention, but still nothing. Finally, SJ shoves both guys with each arm, and they both look out to the crowd, then back at each other, before leveling SJ with a double knife-edge chop, sending him to the mat! COLE Well, if Stephen wanted their attention, he got it! I don't think he's going to be happy with this type of attention, however! The fans go crazy as Alf and Zack stomp SJ on the mat, and then set him up in the corner. Alf lays in a CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Zack nods and shrugs his shoulders, then holds one finger up in the air, and lays in a CHOP~! of his own! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Alf holds his hand out at Zack, then holds his finger to his lips while looking out at the crowd. He then turns to SJ, and delivers another CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Zack spits into his hand, then rubs them together, and delivers yet another CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! SJ sits down in the corner, but Alf pulls him out by his hair, then picks him up in a suplex...holding him...and holding him...before snapping down! SJ holds his back as Alf KIPS UP from the position, and holds his arms out looking at Zack. COACH One man trying to outdo the other, it seems. What's Zack going to come up with now? Zack picks SJ up to his feet, and delivers a back suplex! Alf then picks up SJ, then sees Zack turn to look at the crowd, and quickly rolls up SJ! 1...... 2............... Zack quickly turns around and stomps Alf to break the count! SJ slides out of the ring, as Alf throws a right hand at Zack, who returns one of his own! Zack then grabs a side headlock. Alf lifts up Zack to attempt a back suplex, but Zack turns it over and takes Alf down with a headlock! Alf rolls Zack over, and gets a two-count. Alf rolls him over again, and this time rolls all the way over, and is able to get to one knee. Alf uses the hair to get to his feet, then is able to shove Zack off into the corner. Alf catches Zack coming back with an overhead belly-to-belly! Alf covers... 1..... 2............. Kickout! Alf picks Zack up into a sitting position, and pounds on his sternum with forearms. He then picks him up and drops him with a delayed snap suplex! Alf covers again... 1..... 2.............. Another kickout! SJ is slowly crawling back into the ring, as Alf sets up Zack on the top rope, then follows him up, driving in right hands. SJ comes up from behind with a dropkick, and Alf falls into Zack! SJ then lifts Alf off of the buckles onto his shoulders, as Zack slowly climbs to the top...then leaps up and takes Alf off of SJ's shoulders with a HURRICANRANA!!! COACH What a move that was by Zack! COLE A little teamwork there, inadvertant or not, between Zack and Joseph there, and Alf is out of it! Zack covers 1... 2........... but SJ pulls him off! SJ picks Zack up and drops him with a short clothesline! He then waits for Zack to get to his feet, and hits an inverted atomic drop, followed by a neckbreaker! A cover... 1.... 2........ Kickout by Zack! SJ whips Zack into the corner, but eats feet on the charge! Zack grabs SJ's legs and flips over into a pin! 1..... 2.............. SJ kicks out! Zack catches SJ getting up with a dropkick! Zack picks up SJ in a double underhook, and lifts him over with a suplex! Zack positions him, and then goes out to the apron, springing over with a guillotine legdrop! Zack covers... 1..... 2.............. Alf drives an elbow, breaking the count! Alf picks Zack up, and gives him a fisherman's suplex! 1........... 2............... SJ breaks up the count! All three men are down on the mat attempting to catch their breath, but eventually Zack gets to his feet first, and Alf pulls himself up with the ropes. Zack charges Alf, and gets backdropped over, but lands on the apron. Alf and Zack slug it out, and SJ joins in, as Zack slugs both men from the apron. Alf hits Zack with a cross-armed blow to the throat, knocking Zack down on the apron. Zack pulls himself up with the ropes, and Alf and SJ try to slingshot him back in. But Zack lets go of the ropes on the pull, then grabs them and pulls them back, sending BOTH SJ and Alf to the floor! COLE Very smart move by Zack there, and both Alf and Joseph sent to the floor! Zack then scales the top rope, and comes off with a HUGE moonsault onto both of his opponents! COLE Zack FLIES through the air, and catches the opposition! All three men struggle to their feet, and SJ crawls back into the ring. As Alf and Zack come to their feet on the floor, SJ comes off the top with a flying bodypress! COACH Stephen's turn now, NICE flying bodypress! After another lull, Alf crawls inside the ring. SJ and Zack get up, and Alf catches them from the inside with a SOMERSAULT PLANCHA!!! COACH And now it's Alf taking the air, landing on top of Stephen and Zack on the floor! The crowd gives a HUGE ovation for the match, as all three men once again lay on the floor. COLE A TREMENDOUS triple threat World championship match here to cap off Thanksgiving HeldDOWN~! Alf climbs back into the ring as Zack and SJ slug it out on the floor! Alf leans on the ropes on the far side as SJ gives Zack a knee to the gut, then puts him in suplex position! COLE Oh, come on! He's not going for the Fallen Angel on the floor! Zack, however, blocks, and gives SJ a suplex on the floor! Zack then makes his way back to the ring, and signals for SCHOOL'S OUT~!!!!!11111 as Alf pulls himself to his feet! COACH Zack says he's gonna finish Alf off, Cole! COLE Zack set to become a three-time World champion right now! Zack comes across the ring with SCHOOL'S OUT~!!!!!11111 ...but Alf catches the foot, and trips Zack to the mat, locking in the SHARPSHOOTER~!!! COLE NO! IT'S COUNTERED! SHARPSHOOTER LOCKED IN!!! COACH Alf's gonna do it, Cole!!! SJ is nowhere near the ring area! Alf yells as he sits back on the hold, and Zack is shown with a pained expression on his face, screaming as he tries to reach for the ropes! Alf jerks back on the legs, in an attempt to cinch down on the hold, but Zack finally starts to pull himself towards the ropes! Zack struggles, but just as he gets there, Alf plls him back to the middle! COLE And Alf back to the middle of the ring! The World title seems to be slipping through Zack's fingers, just like the ropes did right there! SJ finally climbs back up onto the apron, behind the back of Alf. Zack pulls himself towards the side of the ring SJ is on, and SJ comes off the top rope with a BULLDOG to Alf! COACH OH! Stephen makes it back in to break up the hold! It's not over yet! SJ rolls over and covers Alf... 1...... 2....................... Zack pulls himself over to push SJ over and break the count! Zack and SJ both get to their feet, and SJ whips Zack into the ropes, but puts his head down...and Zack capitalizes with the POP DROP~!!!111 COLE ZACK WITH THE POP DROP! COACH But Stephen was able to roll towards the ropes on the impact! Is he close enough to them? COLE Here's the cover! 1.... 2................... NO!!! SJ gets a foot on the ropes!!! Zack questions the official, who explains the foot on the ropes. SJ immediately slides out of the ring, and Zack runs over and drops an elbow on Alf, who was just coming to after the bulldog. Zack then goes to the top rope, and goes for a big legdrop, but Alf rolls out of the way! Alf rolls to the corner, and pulls himself to his feet! COLE Uh oh! Alf's gotten his second wind here, Coach! Alf walks over to Zack, and catches him with an overhead belly-to-belly! Alf drops a leg on Zack, then picks him up and takes him over with a T-bone suplex! Alf signals for the end!!! COACH Alf's going up, Cole! COLE Alf looking to regain the World title, and he's going up top! Alf gets to his feet on the top, and LEAPS OFF...but Zack rolls out of the way! Alf is able to adjust just in time and rolls on the mat up to his feet! Zack goes for SCHOOL'S OUT~!!!!!11111...but Alf ducks, and hits a SUPERKICK of his own! Alf covers... 1.... 2............. NO!!! Zack gets a shoulder up!!! COLE OH MY GOD!!! SO CLOSE! Alf sits on the mat for a second, then gets up and waits on Zack. Alf charges Zack with a clothesline, but Zack ducks, and Alf runs into a big dropkick from SJ! SJ picks up Alf, and goes for the FALLEN ANGEL~!!!!!11111 But as SJ has Alf in the vertical position, he's hit with SCHOOL'S OUT~!!!!!11111 COLE ZACK HIT IT!!! ...however, Alf comes down and lands on top of SJ!!! COACH But look, Cole! Alf's on top!!! 1.... 2................. Zack BARELY makes the save, diving and pushing Alf out of the ring! Zack then makes a cover himself... 1..... 2.............. Alf pulls Zack out of the ring! Alf hammers Zack, then puts him in a side headlock, but Zack shoves him off into the post! Zack slides back in, and is met with a foot to the gut from SJ, who follows it up with the FINALITY~!!!!!11111 COACH THERE IT IS!!! THE FINALITY!!! ALL RIGHT, Stephen's going to retain! SJ lays back on Zack and covers... 1...... 2............... 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO!!! Alf grabs SJ by the legs and pulls him off, hooking the SHARPSHOOTER~!!! COLE ALF WITH THE SHARPSHOOTER AGAIN!!!!! SJ screams in pain, but quickly makes it to the ropes...and Alf pulls him off! COACH Wait a minute, Cole, Alf should have to break that! Suddenly, Tha Puerto Rican comes running down to the ring! The referee jumps to the outside right in front of him, preventing him from interfering. Meanwhile, SJ is tapping out in the ring! COLE Look at this, Stephen is tapping out! Where's the referee? COACH He's being distracted by PR! Zack recovers and hits SCHOOL'S OUT on Alf!!!!! COLE ZACK WITH SCHOOL'S OUT~!!!!!11111 Cover, but still no referee! Spanish Fly runs out and attacks PR on the outside, as a new referee sprints down the aisle and slides in! 1..... 2.............. 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO!!!!!!!!!! Alf BARELY lifts a shoulder! COLE SO CLOSE for Zack there! And look at this, Vitamin X and the Cuban Wall out now! The LC triple team Spanish Fly out on the floor, until Otaku II runs to his aid!!! COACH And we've got a big brawl on the floor, as well as the match in the ring! COLE WAIT A MINUTE!!! That's Chris Stevens, the Heartland champion! Stevens waits for Alf to gets to his feet, then dashes at him with his belt! However, Alf ducks, and Zack takes the shot instead! Alf clotheslines Stevens to the floor! Leon Rodez, upset about the miscarriage of justice towards his partner, runs out and attacks Stevens on the floor! COACH Alf's going to the top again, as it's chaos on the floor now! Alf hits Zack with the FIVE-STAR ALF SPLASH~!!!!!11111 1... 2................. ..... Brock Ausstin is at ringside, and pulls Alf to the outside! COLE Brock Ausstin is out! The S.H.I. is here! I think Alf had the pin right there! TK and Reject come to Alf's aid as SJ crawls over and lays across the shoulders of Zack! COLE Oh no, not this way! 1..... 2............ Stephen Joseph groggily hooks the leg! 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! COLE DAMN IT!!! STEPHEN JOSEPH STEALS IT! COACH OH YEAH BABY!!! RING INSTINCT! *DING DING DING* BUFFER The winner of this contest...and STILL OAOAST World Heavyweight champion...STEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNN JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! The GPX has made their way out and attacked Leon on the outside! COLE This is MASS CHAOS on the outside! The Lightning Crew! S.H.I. out here, there you see Team Heyross battling with the Sooner Bruisers out here now...Hell's Hitmen are out here! COACH Is that JINGUS on the top rope?!?!? The Sadist and Jumbo get up on the apron and grab JINGUS, and toss him off the top onto the huge crowd of bodies on the outside! COLE UNBELIEVABLE!!!!! EVERYONE is down in the aisle, when suddenly... The lights in the arena dim, and the crowd pops MASSIVELY. The caps don't properly emphasize the magnitude of the pop, but I don't feel like using the size code. The lights begin going crazy, as if a virus has infected them, randomly jerking around the arena, frantically changing colors and turning off and on. It’s as if a bad anime scene has come to life. COLE Is it him??? IS HE REALLY HERE THIS TIME??? Loud scratching fills the airwave, as if a DJ has lost their mind and is attempting to break their equipment. In-between the rips, legitimate music kicks on, of a Southern, heavy metal nature. “I ask you please just give us/ Five Minutes Alone.” The lights continue to dart and flash as the music leaves and the scratching continues, only to come back again, now of a hip-hop nature. “White America/ I could be one of your kids.” The rap fades out and the scratching continues, at an even greater pace, until music comes back, now of a hardcore variety. “Final Prayer/ Final prayer for the human race.” A single spotlight appears on the stage, the only light in the darkened arena. People look towards the light, but see nothing. Until the music, “People = Shit” by Slipknot, hits. “HERE WE GO AGAIN MOTHERFUCKER!” fills the arena, the music reached its peak of anger and rage, but still no one appears on the stage. The music continues, with still only a single spotlight for light. The music builds up again, this time with no lyrics, until, finally, a figure punches through the curtains. Wearing torn jean shorts, a torn sleeveless black t-shirt, and two bandanas, one over his face and the other over his head. The hands are taped up with a red “X” on the back. COACH HOLY SHIT!!!!! COLE YES!!! HE'S ACTUALLY HERE!!! Sandman slowly walks down the aisleway, as everyone is brawling again. Alf rolls out of the ring, and grabs a plastic tub of lighttubes from underneath it! He grabs one, and tosses one to Sandman, who proceeds to BLAST Scotty Static of the GPX right in the back of the head! PR takes a shot from Alf, and goes flying over the top rope! TK and Reject each grab one, and each deliver shots to the back of Jumbo! Sandman is in the ring! He grabs Jay Richards, and hits the ARCHANGEL'S WINGS~!!!!!11111 Alf and Sandman then surround Chris Stevens, both holding lighttubes in each of their hands! Alf gets a huge smirk on his face. COLE Uh oh...Stevens really caught between a rock and a hard place here! TK and Reject drag Rick Heyross back to the ring, and toss him inside! This allows Stevens to roll out, but now Heyross is caught! As Heyross begs off of Sandman, Alf trips him from behind with a lighttube, then takes a lighttube shot RIGHT TO THE NUTS~!!! from Sandman!!! Alf goes up top, as Sandman sticks the second lighttube in the face of a just recovering SJ, whose eyes bug out and he quickly drops and rolls out of the ring and jumps into the crowd with his title belt! Alf hits Heyross with the FIVE-STAR ALF SPLASH~!!!!!11111 Heels stand, or lay in some cases, in the aisle. Stephen Joseph stands on a fan's chair and glares at The Deadly Alliance, belt over his shoulder. TK and Reject help Zack up in the corner, and Leon checks on him as Alf grabs a mic. ALF You better batten down the hatches up there, Nova Scotia! *crowd cheers* Because November Reign...*crowd chants along* JUST... GOT... DEADLIER!!! Alf slams the mike down, and Kick Some Ass by Stroke 9, the Deadly Alliance theme, plays the show out. COLE OH MY GOD!!! If that's the carnage that's in store for November Reign, we're in for one hell of a shitstorm! GOOD NIGHT, everybody, and we'll see you in three days for November Reign! COACH And if I know one thing, Stephen Joseph WILL NOT be happy to be upstaged like this! *fade to black* Edited November 25, 2005 by Patty O'Green Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted November 25, 2005 (edited) Credits Patty O'Green KC MoM prl SJ PK CC zack parka Edited November 25, 2005 by Patty O'Green Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
