Things you'd never hear on wwe tv

[Guest Raven_Effect01]

Stephanie McMahon:"I'm sorry for my TV over-exposure, smart marks, I'll do my best to not overshadow wrestlers like Chris Jericho ever again, as he's the one who deserves to main-event since he's an actual wrestler, not me, I'm just a writer.  I'll also never EVER make myself the main focus of big storylines again, it shouldn't be about me or any other McMahon, it should be about the wrestlers"

 

HHH:"I realize my wrongdoings of burying wrestlers and this coming Sunday, I officially break my streak-uhhhh.  It'll be me vs. you, Jericho-uhhhh, at (insert PPV here), and I promise I'll put you over-uhhhh so you can be looked at as a credible main-eventer once and for all-uhhh.  You've earned my respect-uhhh."

 

Terri-"My abs are so fake, just look at them."

 

Hogan-"I'm not going to lie anymore, brother.  This time, I really am retiring, Hulkamaniacs!"

[Guest y2jailbait]

Scott Hall:"I promise to get myself clean, not only for myself, but for all my loyal fans out there in the world!"

 

Hardy Boyz: "What, were gonna get to speak, yessssss!"

[Guest alfdogg]

"Here is your winner, LANCE STORM!!!"

[Guest]

JR from WrestleMania XIII

 

"It's not talking about the past. These guys aren't out here posing or covering a bald spot. This is athleticism" - An OBVIOUS dig at Hogan and the WCW

[Guest]

BPS, Kahran Ramsus, Anglesault and the "awo", HHHaters: We are sorry for perpetuating a gross exaggeration of a situation, based off of circumstantial evidence. We have had our heads up our asses in blind hatred for anyone with a better physique than our own and whole-heartedly apologize for being completely ignorant jackasses.

 

Hulk Hogan: Hulkamania's dead. Good night.

 

X-Pac: I really don't have any entertainment value left as a wrestler, I *do* suck.

 

Vince McMahon: Perhaps I *was* wrong...

[Guest Cataclysm911]

Jim Ross: "This is the best match that I have ever seen!"

 

During a crusierweight match of course.

[Guest Shaved Bear]

"and HHH has just been defeated by Angle cleanly"

[Guest Cataclysm911]

"Here is your winner & NEW WWE UNDISPUTED CHAMPION... Raven!"

[Guest Raven_Effect01]

"Here is your winner & NEW WWE UNDISPUTED CHAMPION... Raven!"

I wish...

 

JR(at the KOTR 2002 PPV):"What an outstanding match between Hogan and Vince McMahon, bah Gawd!"

[Guest Cataclysm911]

"Here is your winner & NEW WWE UNDISPUTED CHAMPION... Raven!"

I wish...

So do I...

[Guest HartFan86]

JR: "Last night at King of the Ring, HHH was defeated by Chris Jericho in a 2 out of 3 fall match after Jericho beat HHH with the lion sault the first fall and the Walls of Jericho by the 2nd fall. In what can seem quite shocking, he did it all on his own!"

[Guest caboose]

'Chris Jericho pins Triple H for the Title'

[Guest ManKinnd]

Now I read this one when this was done at another board, so it's not mine, but it's always been my favorite:

JR to close Raw: "Well, that sucked..."

[Guest]

JR:  "BY GAWD!!! Somebody stopped the Hulk-up!"

[Guest]

Lawler: Let's stop talking about puppies and start focusing on the action in the ring."

 

     or

 

Lawler: I'm sorry little girl, you're only 17.

[Guest]

anyone: "WWF"

[Guest crandamaniac]

"My god! Hogan goes up top for the moonsault!"

 

Lawler: "you know, puppies aren't really everything"

 

Undertaker or Hogan:  "sure Jeff Hardy, we'll put you over"

 

Michael Cole talk about psychology and calls moves their right names.

[Guest]

"My god! Hogan goes up top for the moonsault!"

 

Undertaker or Hogan:  "sure Jeff Hardy, we'll put you over"

"By Gawd!  Hogan hit the Moonsault!"

 

"Upset!  Funaki has just pinned Hogan, HHH, and the Undertaker in the Four Corners elimination match to win the WWE Undisputed title!"

[Guest Flyboy]

Vince:  Sure, I'll push RVD because he has talent.. I don't hate him because he's from ECW.

 

HHH: Jericho... RVD... I love you, guys!

 

JR: It's now time for the main event of Wrestlemania '??'... Lance Storm Vs. RVD in a 60-Minute Iron Man match for the vacated Undisputed Title.

 

Vince: I'm not the Devil, damnit!  I LOVE... JESUS!

[Guest Redhawk]

All from Jim Ross...

 

"Brock Lesnar ain't THAT big."

 

"We're live in front of a near-sellout crowd."

 

"Some might call this a clash of styles, but it's just a bad match in my opinion."

 

"Dammit, King, that girl's like 12!"

 

"Yes, I am a total tool."

 

"Is Hogan slow or what?"

[Guest Raven_Effect01]

Raven:"I may be almost saying the same thing again, but as I said before, my treatment by this company has been bad for 2 years.  And it's thanks to that poor excuse of a WWE creative team that's hurt my chances of getting a good push with the skills I have.  Stephanie McMahon, get your ass out here so I can kick it for dropping my angles and I will feel your pain.......quoth the Raven.....nevermore."

[Guest caboose]

JR-'Triple H just tapped out to the Crossface for the Title!'.

King-'I'm actually Gay'.

Cole-'I'm a stupid Dumbass'.

[Guest]

Lawler; What the Hell is he doing here?

 

JR; BY GAWD!!!!! BRET HART!!!!! BRET HART!!!!!! BRET HART IS HERE!!!!

 

 

(This week on Smackdown)

 

(Vince in the ring) Maybe, I was wrong to screw Bret? I'm sorry!

[Guest What?!]

The Rock: I say I'm going to lay the smackdown on your candyass if you smell what I'm cooking.

 

JR: What's next on the card? A Stone Cold match? That sucks. I'm gonna take break. Someone cover for me.

[Guest caboose]

JR-'BY GAWD IT'S BRADSHAW! THAT BIG TALENTLESS HOSS IS HERE TO STINK UP THE RING!'

[Guest What?!]

Vince: You I could come out here and give a 20 minute promo, but you know what. Why don't we have a match instead. Bye.

[Guest buffybeast]

All from Jim Ross...

 

"Brock Lesnar ain't THAT big."

 

"We're live in front of a near-sellout crowd."

 

"Some might call this a clash of styles, but it's just a bad match in my opinion."

 

"Dammit, King, that girl's like 12!"

 

"Yes, I am a total tool."

 

"Is Hogan slow or what?"

Those were sooo funny, man.  I would die laughing if JR ever said they were live in front of a near sellout or if he said a match sucked.

[Guest]

"Obviously, the Rock HAS sold out!"

-Obvious who wont say this.

[Guest crandamaniac]

(a little stab at mario logan here)

 

Jr: "MY GOD! JOHN TENTA, THE MAN FORMERLY KNOWN AS EARTHQUAKE, HAS WON THE UNDISPUTED TITLE!"

 

(here's another un-related one)

 

Jr: "Hogan is matching Benoit Hold for hold!"

[Guest]

Jr: "MY GOD! JOHN TENTA, THE MAN FORMERLY KNOWN AS EARTHQUAKE, HAS WON THE UNDISPUTED TITLE!"

That would be the best thing in the WWE, for me at least.