King Cucaracha 0 Report post Posted December 8, 2005 BUFFER Your following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall. In the ring, from Latin Amerrrrrrrica~!... LLLOOOOSSSSS... CONQUISTADOOOOOORRRRRRRSSSSSSS!! The Conquistadors raise their fists in the air, getting a mixed reaction as we're back on HeldDOWN~! And we swoop down to Sofa Central, just as "Slither" by Velvet Revoler hits and draws boos from around the arena. COLE Well, we're ready for tag team action, apparantly. Quite who set this match up, I have no idea. But it seems, we're going to see the HI-YAH Heavyweight Champion in action...against Los Conquistadors? CABOOSE Oh. Goody. As the boos continue, Christian Wright leads the way through the curtains, with his bodyguard following out behind and showing off TEH GUNZ~! Right on cue with the music, Wright tears the hood down from his ring attire and leads the way to the ring. BUFFER And their opponents! At a total combined weight of five hundred and seventeen pounds... the team consisting of the former HI-YAH Heavyweight Champion of the World, BOOOOHHEEEMMOOOOOTTHHHH!! And, the CURRENT HI-YAH Heavyweight Champion of the World... "THE NATURAL" ... CCHHHRRRRRIIIISSSTTIIIIAAAANN WWWWRRRRRRIIIIGGGHHHHHTT!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Forgive my ignorance, but I don't get this. Why are Los Conquistadors, who in all fairness can't be considered one of the OAOAST's best tag teams, stepping into the ring to face a former and the current HI-YAH Heavyweight Champion? COACH I'm sure I have no idea. *reaches under table* Squash, anyone? COLE Ooh, mashed! My favourite! Bohemoth jogs up the steps and enters the ring, flexing the biceps and striking pure, unbridled FEAR~ into the hearts of Los Conquistadors! Indeed, the gold shiny asses of the Conquistadors scurry from the ring to regroup. Meanwhile, Wright rolls into the ring, passing his HI-YAH Title to the referee with no hesitation. COLE Christian certainly looks to be in an 'all business' kinda mood tonight. And no wonder, after his defeat last week to Krista Isadora Duncan...which, thankfully for him, was a non-title contest. CABOOSE Yeah, apparantly Krista didn't fancy the prospect of regular flights to Japan. Surprising, considering how easy it is to get booze over there and how far away her kid would be. Oh well. Japan's loss is our utter tragedy, I guess. COACH Amen. A rapid Mexican/Spanish/wherever they're from discussion is taking place on the outside between Los Conquistadors, possibly regarding finding themselves an agent. Or new jobs. Referee Brian Hebner leans over the ropes and passes out the HI-YAH Title, calling for the bell before telling one of the Conquistadors to get in the ring. *DING DING DING!* There's the bell. But Hebner's demands are met with vehement shakes of the head from Los Conquistadors. They want no part of this. It's lucky that Hebner just happens to have a mini bottle of tequila in his pocket (hey, getting fired hit him hard). That proves enough of a lure for the gold, shiny Hispanics to enter the ring...but by the time they get there, the tequila bottle is safely back in Hebner's pocket. Finally in the ring, both Conquistadors seem pensive to start the match, as Bohemoth stands across the ring from them. The quicker thinking Conquistador leaves to the apron quickly, thus appointing his partner as the legal man. COLE So, which one is this guys? Uno or Dos? COACH Definately Dos. Dos is the one with the moustache. COLE No, you're thinking of the Beverly Brothers. COACH Oh, yeah. Well, that definately doesn't look like Butch, so it must be... COLE No, that's the Bushwhackers. You're getting closer though, in a weird sort of way. CABOOSE They're both gold and shiny and above all, jobbers. Does it really matter what we call them? COLE Good point. Shiny Gold Guy #1 is in. Nervously, Uno tries to lock up with Bohemoth, but the big man drives a knee into his gold gut and doubles him over. An irish whip sends Uno into the corner...and Bo follows in with a stiff clothesline, so stiff infact that it might as well be Ned Blanchard's manhood! Out staggers Uno, right into a right hand from Bohemoth. Followed by a second. Uno is reeling, but surprisingly still on his feet. A situation remedied by Bohemoth's massive boot slamming into his jaw! Uno is dazed, but still has the presence of mind to roll backwards, quickly tagging in Dos before he can prevent it. Not too pleased to be tagged, Dos gingerly enters the ring, obviously not wanting to raise Bo's ire. But it matters not, as Bo charges him straight away with a knee, followed by some clubbing forearms. Dos gets pounded to his knees, before Bo measures the gold cranium of the Conquistador...and almost knows it clear off with a HARD right hand! COLE Good Lord! Bohemoth is some kind of bohemoth! CABOOSE ... As The Natural looks on, Bohemoth sets about pulling Dos to his feet and sending him off the ropes. He swings with a clothesline but Dos manages to roll underneath the massive arm. Surprised, Bo swings again, but again Dos tumbles underneath. "ARRIBA!!" *SMACK!* YAKUZA KICK! Dos topples like a felled tree...slowly and comically. Hands on hips, Bohemoth waits patiently for Dos to fall, before wheeling away the moment he hits the mat, to SHOW OFF TEH GUNZ~! COACH AW DAMN, SON~! DEM'S GUNZ~! DEM'S BIG GUNZ~! As Dos lies in a comatose state in one corner of the ring, Bohemoth happens to glance around. Which is wise, as Uno advances on him. Bohemoth is first to react however, catching Uno running in and PLANTING him with a Front SPINEBUSTAAAAAAH~! COACH BETTER THAN HOFF'S!! CABOOSE Man, Hoff is so owned. *rolls eyes* Suddenly, the camera cuts to the corner where Wright is flashing the thumbs up Bohemoth's way...before turning the thumbs down~! Bo sees the signal and instantly hauls the lifeless body of Conquistador Dos off the canvas and scooping him into his arms. The crowd know what's coming, booing in preperation, as Bohemoth swings Dos around... ...out... ...and DOWN~! COLE Erotic Awakening Of B!! But Bohemoth isn't going for a cover. Instead, Bohemoth turns to his corner, reaching out a hand...and allowing Christian Wright to tag himself into the match! CABOOSE This is ridiculous. What the hell is this supposed to prove, beating up two nobodies in full length gold bodysuits?Who's this supposed to impress? All hail The Upstarts, huh? Future of wrestling my ass! COACH Hey, it ain't there fault if there's no competition for them in the OAOAST! CABOOSE He got competition last week. And he failed. Miserably. Bohemoth got competition at November Reign. And he failed. Equally as miserably. With Uno up, Wright measures him, delivering a boot to the gut! The fans are already booing wildly, as Wright applies a front facelock and lifts Uno to a 90 degree position, before he twists and SPIKES Uno with the Converting The Sinner!! It's all over bar the shouting now, as Wright places a hand on Uno's chest and makes the cockiest cover this side of Chris Jericho... 1... 2... 3!! *DING DING DING!* "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The fans, justifiably, feel cheated and start to clamour for refunds. But hold up just a minute, because Christian Wright is now demanding a microphone. WRIGHT What you see before you...is merely a modicum of the potential damage and devestation myself and my bodyguard can and will willingly inflict. Daniel Black, Anthony Brannigan. For numerous years, the team known worldwide as Black T has proclaimed to dominate the Tag Team Division of the One And Only AngleSault Thread. Before you at this current juncture, you observe the beginning of a new dominance. In precisely 10 Days, the OAOAST presents it's December Pay Per View offering, entitled Climax. And for you Daniel Black and for you Anthony Brannigan, in regards to your collective careers and social standing, it shall become exactly that! For we, Bohemoth and myself, are offering forth a challenge to tag team combat. Black T versus myself, Christian Wright and the man that stands besides me, Bohemoth. COACH Say what? COLE He's issuing a challenge to Black T. COACH Oh. DAYYUM~! Wright throws down the microphone and the crowd who did understand whatever just came from his mouth boo. The rest just boo for the sake of things, to sneers from both Bohemoth and Wright as they begin to leave the ring. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
