HD: alix vs Jamie O'Hara

[Patty O'Green 0]

Hello. This should go on after that whole rodez/alix/pk/candie/zack lockeroom skit, s'ill vous plait.

Good-bye. Okay it should go after the GPX/COD skit also. Merci beaucoup! Bye 4 real.

 

The opening piano chords of Eminem's thoughtful coming of age tune [i]Lose Yourself[/i] pour from the speakers. As Shady's heartfelt preamble comes to a close and the bombastic bass fills the arena, the entrance doors slide open, letting the youngest Upstart, Jamie O'Hara enter the arena floor. Clad in a white do-rag, matching vest top and Nike track pants, O'Hara stands on top of the stage engaging in a bit of thuggish posturing. The camera man gets in close to him, providing the fame hungry star a chance to talk a fair share of smack to the viewing audience. While all this is happening Coach does the Dave Chapelle 8-Mile “Spaghetti! Spaghetti! Spaghetti!” bit. Die, Coach. Thank you.

COLE
Folks, the OAOAST, in an effort to provide you with the highest quality wrestling in the world, has been trying to get a match booked between The Global Party Xchange and Los Diablos De Fuego. Unfortunately, GPX has been reluctant to sign the contract. Word has it that Christian Wright has advised them they have nothing to gain from the matchup and everything to lose. This is truly a disservice to you the fans at home as well as Los Diablos De Fuego. However GPX have accepted COD's challenge to a match at Climax. Which leads one to think that the only reason they're ducking Los Diablos is because of the sexual preference of the two men.

BUFFER
The following contest is scheduled for one fall with a television time limit of forty minutes. Now making his way from Birmingham, England, weighing one hundred seventy pounds, representing the Upstarts, he is JAMIE “THE BIRMINGHAM BAD BOY” O'HARAAAAAAAAA!”

“BOOOOOOOOOOO!” goes the crowd, apparently not feeling a patriotic desire to cheer their countryman!

The detested heel drops to his knees and throws his arms toward the heaven's above at the exact moment his name is announced. The crowd continues to jeer him as she cockily struts down to the ring. Jamie enters the squared circle, rapping along with his music, feigning indifference to the disrespect shown him by his home country. He scales to the top rope, and puff's out his chest, smashing his index and middle fingers against his pectorals.

COLE
Lask week, Jamie O'Hara and The Global Party Xchange got bounced in the first round of the six man title tourney.  I don't know what The Upstarts vision really is, but no stable that wants to get taken seriously has their top members lose in the first round of any tournament.

The moment [i]Lose Yourself[/i] fades from our earlobes, the arena becomes a darkened abyss. The opening guitar strands of pop sensation Lindsay Lohan's cover of [i]Edge of Seventeen[/i] play, as a gorgeous [color=red][b]red pyro[/color][/b] fountain springs forth from the stage. It meets with an equally lovely [color=#ff3366 ][b]pink[/color][/b] pyro waterfall, cascading from the ceiling. As the drum roll of the song kicks up, both the pyrotechnics dissipate, replaced by a booming [color=#ffff33][b]gold[/color][/b] explosion that engulfs the entire stage, and sets the camera man on fire.

CABOOSE
I never got an entrance like that.

Through the mass of smoke and swirling pink and blue spotlights, steps Alix Spezia. The fans give her a grand ovation, as she rocks her body back and forth to her high energy theme music.

BUFFER
And her opponent...from the city of angels Los Angeles, California....she weighs in at an undisclosed weight, she is a former OAOAST tag team champion, the 2004 OAOAST babe of the year, has a career won loss record of 27 wins and six losses, she is ALIX MARIA SPEEZZZZZIAAAAA!

[B]“YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”[/B]

As Alix walks down the ring, she blows a kiss at the camera, and adorable super imposed lips appear on your screen. Awwwww!

COLE
I don't have the word power or the time to properly describe Alix Spezia. But she's not only amazingly popular with the fans, she's become very popular with her fellow wrestlers. Los Diablos De Fuego look up to her like a big sister, and well, as we just saw she's now an item with Leon Rodez! I'm sure Krista is furious.

COACH
Alix doesn't need some broke ass Boogie Nights wannabe comedian like Leon Rodez hitting that sweet shit. She needs a straight up G, like Mister C. Me. Who, outside of a couple pud pulling perverts living in their mom's basements, know who Leon Rodez is? No one. Everybody knows Da Coach. I'm a legend. Baby girl, get with me. Get on the Coach's team. Another sister gone to waste. Not a literal sister, but you get the point. Damn shame.

CABOOSE
With Nick and Jessica gone the way of the dinosaur, Alix and Leon seek to fill that “Lucy/Desi” celebrity couple void. The only problem is Nick was smart. Leon's and idiot to. Just less of an idiot then Alix. 

Clad in tye died hot pants and matching tube top, the glowing superstar slides into the ring. Paying no attention to Jamie O'Hara, she makes a bee line for the top rope. She tosses a peace sign into the air, while her enormous fan base mimics the gesture.

COLE
The first ever meeting between Jamie O'Hara and Alix Spezia is about to get underway!

DING DING

The two lightweights circle each other, neither one willing to make the first move out of fear of making the first and possibly fatal mistake. After several seconds worth of stalling and circling, Alix, like the crowd, grows weary of the pointless inaction. Thus she shoots in for a lockup. Jamie was more then content to do nothing but to play a two person game of ring around the rosey.  As such he is a little alarmed to have the brunette locking horns with him. As they tussle like young puppies in a pet shop, he tries to pull her off her game with a mix of pick up lines and flat out insults. These comments do nothing to deter Alix, as she goes behind him and hits the waistlock. The fans start cheering loudly, which leads a perturbed Alix to say,

“Oh my god, it's just a waistlock, for Pete's sake! Quit cheering, you freaking dorks!”

Dragon Suplex, German Suplex, Rolling German Suplex, Bridging Dragon Suplex, Bridging German Suplex, Rolling German Suplex into a bridging dragon suplex where a real life dragon eats your juicy brain meat afterwards. Images of these horribly painful holds speed through Jamie's teeny tiny mind. They cause him enough worry and stress to turn his sandy blonde hair gray. Wishing to preserve his good health now, so he can kill it with drugs, booze and transexual hookers later in life, Jamie juts his body forward, bending his knees. He grabs his confused rival's arm, pulls it forward and breaks her hold. He spins in front of her, then promptly takes her down with a blink and you miss it arm drag into an arm lock! Not wasting a single moment of his precious time, he floats on top of the perky Californian.  Alix doesn't like it when the dude's on top, so she rolls onto her stomach, neutralizing Jamie's advantage.  O'Hara is visibly upset and cusses up a storm! With his arm lock still applied he lies across her body, so that his scrawny chest rests on her upper back. I have no idea what he's going to do, the crowd has no idea what he's going to do, and he probably has no idea what he's going to do. We'll never even get an answer to this great mystery as Alix shoots out in front of him. To his rapidly rising frustration, she starts to rise. Luckily for him, his arm lock has yet to perish, thus he's able to maintain some control, and keeps her bent over. That isn't an enviable position for O'hara as Alix slides her head underneath his crotch, then uses her strength to stand up and fling him overhead! The airborne thug gets launched out of the ring, as flashes from camera phones ornament the arena! So agile and so quick, O'Hara manages to avoid certain doom and land on the ring apron.

“How ya'll like that dope shit?” He asks a group of fans in the front row. The fans are Japanese and can not understand him.

COLE
Jamie is a great talent, no question. But his choice of company and attitude leave a lot to be desired.

Alix doesn't like that fly shit very much at all. Miss Spezia charges him, but Jamie has this well scouted and ducks down for a shoulder block! However Alix's scouting report is even better then his, as she sticks out her bare knee and connects squarely with his acne riddled face! 

“OOOOOOH!” goes the audience after Al's concussion inducing move.

“YEEEEOOOOOOUCH!” goes Jamie, now wishing he'd held out during contract negotiations for health insurance.

A look of delight plays on Alix's cute face as her brain's seemed to come up with a particularly nasty move to unleash on Jamie.  Ally Cat hits the ropes to get a running start.  She comes back to her younger foe, front flips overhead, taking herself out of the ring, grabs the side of his waist on her descent, and tries to overtake him with a sunset flip powerbomb to the outside floor! The fans are set to erupt with a rousing chant of holy shit, however Jamie stifles such noise by holding onto the top rope for dear life! If he hadn't, the janitorial staff would  soon be sweeping up his remains. The exact second he senses Alix's grip weaken, O'Hara lets go of the rope. SuperJay takes to the friendly skies and comes down on Alix's face with a savage leg drop! Some of the more squeamish fans have to turn away as Alix crumples to the mat like a wadded up newspaper. Jamie lies exhausted on the ring apron, heart thumping a billion miles a minute, head still smarting from her knee drive.

COACH
Alix, Mister C is gonna love you right. He knows how to please his woman. Leon Rodez, to him sex is just a business. Sex is Coach's religion, and babygirl, I wanna worship you at the altar.

Mighty proud of himself, O'Hara slides into the ring, stands up, and begins a round of overhead clapping in hopes of gaining some home country support from the cynical Londoners. Better luck next time, buddy! Not a soul in the building is buying what the youngster is selling. Dejected, he does a pitiful slow clap down, and puts on a puppydog face, before turning irate and telling the crowd “Forget ya'll! I don't need you!” He seeks to take his anger at the fans out on one of their favorite wrestlers, and he's in the prefect position to do just that. To build up speed he runs the ropes, then leaps over them. He tears through the air like a majestic, foul mouthed, hairless, gazelle! Extending his body into a full swanton bomb he erases all of Alix's painstakingly achieved efforts to recover, by flooring her with his beautiful but deathly move! Not even bothering to sell an attack that just saw him fly fifteen feet into the air then land on solid concrete, Jamie kips up, and immediately talks crazy smack into the camera.

“You know how Ahhhhhhh do! You can't stop the J-OH! Smell me?” He gets so close to the camera you can see every last blemish and pimple on his youthful face.

After his trash talk session draws to a finale, Jamie grabs Alix by the seat of her pants, nearly giving her a wedgie, and lifts her up. He slides her into the ring, then follows her in. Upon rising to his feet he puts the boots to her back, taking pleasure at her agonized whimpers. Alix digs her nails deep into the mat, trying to do anything to cope with the pain his stomps are putting her under. To her, it almost feels like her back is being pounded repeatedly with a sledge hammer.

CABOOSE
The Upstarts need a win against anybody, because momentum is not in their favor. GPX is jobbing left and right. Wright got beat by Krista, and Stephen Joseph has to turn to cheap shotting me and Cole like a  sissy little punk. Some stable you have, Coach.

Jamie hauls her upright, and unloads a series of chops to her chest. Each strike sends her wobbling in all different directions. O'Hara stays with her, and gives her such a violent whip to the corner that he falls onto his not so ripped stomach after letting her go. He stands up and runs in after her, with hopes of landing a corner clothesline! Yet Alix has another plan in mind, and refuses to cooperate. She hops onto the second turnbuckle, facing away from her inexperienced counterpart. She flashes her beauty pageant smile at the crowd then shoots her limber body backward as if she was going for a cross body block! Ally crooks her arm around his noggin, twirls both their bodies around, and scrambles his brain like an egg with a DDT!

“ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!” chant the wowed fans.

“That's my name, don't wear it out!”  She responds as she drops down for a cover.

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Jamie shoots his shoulder up, showing no class by giving the crowd the middle finger as he does so. This rude gesture draws a heated round of boos.

COLE
This kid makes me sick. Is this the kind of disrespect to the business and the fans we can expect if the Upstarts take over?

Alix stands up slowly, stricken with anger over not getting a proper three count. She watches Jamie rise to a sitting position, and decides her next maneuver should be one that sends him to early retirement.

“COME ON, BARBIE! LET'S GO PARTY!” she screams to the roaring fans before running to the ropes. Snarling at an opponent who can't even see her, she leaps up, extends her legs forward and annihilates his skull with a devastating reverse enziguri! Now standing, Ally cat does her best GNR impression by doing a little head banging and air guitaring to celebrate her highlight reel worthy strike. The conceited Upstart hotdogger is sprawled out on the mat, oblivious to the freight train that just ran him down. In an impressive display of gymnastic ability the super cute diva hits Jamie with a corkscrew shooting star press! Into a pin of course.

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KICK OUT!

Disheveled Jamie rolls to his feet, and fends Alix off with three quick jabs to her exposed stomach. Although they probably couldn't hurt the common fruit fly, they do force the native of Los Angeles into keeping her distance. The Birmingham Bad Boy shoots his body in front of Alix's so his back faces her chest. He drops to his knees, hooking his skinny arm around her head. You don't have to be Bill Apter to know that O'Hara would've been best served by softening her up more, as Alix considers this hold nothing more then a minor annoyance. Tickling her huge fanbase with glee, she does a breathtaking front flip out O'Hara's hold as he tries a headlock takedown.  Spezia runs the ropes and comes back with an unconventional and  absolutely barbaric knife edge chop! Beads of sweat go flying off Jamie's chest, that's beaten so red that those in the far rows might be tricked into thinking he's wearing a red shirt. She hops horizontally onto O'Hara's less then broad shoulders for a modified tornado ddt. But, SuperJay has the requisite wrestling know how to turn this negative into a positive. Thus he hits Alix with a death valley driver, that shakes every inch of the ring upon impact!

Jamie stands up, leans over the ropes nearest Sofa Central, and does some call and response with his biggest fan, Da Coach!

JAMIE
Can Ah have it like that?

COACH
(standing)
You got it like that!

JAMIE
Can Ah have it like that?

COACH
(standing)
You got it like that!

After ending his cheer leading with the commentator, the hip-hopping Englishman drags a groggy Alix to her feet, and drags her into a front face lock. Taunting the fans, he throws his middle finger into the sky, before doing the same to Alix. O'Hara delays a suplex, in an effort to deplete Alix's energy and regain some of his. He finally drops backwards, agonizing her with a vertical suplex. That worked out so well, he figures he might as well go for the deuce. Thus he rolls his move, and foists her upwards. But now he meets wildly dissimilar results! She slips out the move, landing her sweaty back against his, and having an advantageous inverted face lock snapped on. Spezia spins their bodies around, putting them face to face. The quirky gal then spikes Jamie's oddly shaped mellon into the canvas with a DDT, knocking off his little do-rag as well! The fans cheer on Alix as she goes for a cover...

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UH-UH!

Alix has had it up to [i]here[/i] with all the near falls, and her rage clouds her best judgement. She runs the ropes, coming back without having a plan in mind. SuperJay sticks his feet up in the air, presenting Alix  with two equally bad choices, run into them, or try to flip over them. She selects option two and he predictably turns her momentum against her, pressing his feet her into abdomen, then kicking them back. This causes her to go tumbling through the air and into the ropes! Alix has a horrid crash landing, her bare legs hitting the top rope, then pushing her backwards onto her spine on the ring floor.

“AWWWW” say the crowd at the unfortunate landing.

Alix stands up surprisingly quickly all things considered, but doesn't notice O'Hara zooming past her. The spot monkey jumps onto the third rope then flies back with what appears to be a lionsault! But the innovative superstar in one swift motion grabs her into an inverted face lock and drives the back of her head to the mat with a moonsault inverted DDT! An dark cloud of agony settles over Alix's head, raining misery all across her body. A few fans begrudgingly show Jamie his props, but the others pelt his ego with chants of “You suck! You suck!”

COACH
Let tell me you this right now, The Upstarts are bringing an actual change to the in-ring OAOAST product. What you get with us is fast paced, high flying action, from people like Jamie O'Hara and Alix Spezia.

Jamie nails a moonsault elbow drop! He stands up and busts out some funky b-boy breakdancing moves, then hits a sweet shooting star leg drop. Still no one claps. Tough crowd. Figuring that winning the match is more important then garnering crowd support, Jamie lowers his body for the pinfall! But Alix shocks the hell out of him by rising upwards and dragging him down with an inside cradle!

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The idiots in the stands counted way too fast because the referee signals that that was a clear two count. The fans reply to this decision with a heated round of “bullshit” chants. Both wrestler's rise to their feet at the same time, but it's Alix striking first with an Irish whip to the corner. Jamie does the customary “turn and hit the pads with your back”, leaving him open to taste whatever poisonous dish Alix is cooking. She runs to him, hops into the air and pushes her legs forward for some kind of hurricanrana attempt! The elusive Upstart moves out of the way! Alix is placed into a perilous spot, a sitting duck on the top turnbuckle. Not allowing his opportunity to slip away, the duck hunter speedily scales the top rope, then blasts Alix's face with a leaping side kick! This knocks her into a tree of woe position! The Londoners try to break out an Alix chant, but all the love and appreciation can't help her now. Jamie measures her, picks the perfect spot, then delivers a disgustingly stiff kick to the side of her head! As the sound of his foot meeting her head echoes throughout the arena, Alix slumps down to the mat, tears streaming out her eyes,  and rolling down her cheek.

“What's the matter? Ya can't take it? Poor baby!” Jamie taunts her.

CABOOSE
If he didn't waste so much time running his mouth, he could've won this match five minutes ago.

His jeers seem to have revitalizing effect on the fallen superstar. Drawing strength from a deep rooted urge to prove him wrong, she springs up and begins to pepper him with stiff slaps to the face! Gobs of spit fly from his mouth, as Alix's turbulent blows push him all across the ring. The audience is loving watching their heroine give the villain his comeuppance! After about the twentieth slap, a red-faced Jamie plants a panicked knee into her midsection.  The Birmingham Bad Boy grabs his bent over adversary into a double under hook, hauls her into the air and unleashes a sitout tiger driver! Into a pin!

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KICK OUT

Dazed to the point where she's actually having trouble remembering where she is, Alix sits up. O'Hara runs the ropes, thinking that his next move will be the one that seals the deal. He rebounds as fast as his little Rebook's can carry him, hoping to plant one of those sweatshop produced shoes into her face. However Alix counters by putting the toe of her shoe into his gut! Feeling the need to puke, O'Hara lumber backwards, and Alix hops to her feet! She sends him rolling into the corner with an awesome dropsault! The once deflated crowd picks their mood out of the gutter with chants of “ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!” Spurred on by the chanting, Spezia hits the cornered O'Hara with another dropsault, this time landing on her funky colored boots! She blows a kiss to a little boy in front the row holding an “I love Alix” sign, before catching a staggering Jamie with a fisherman's suplex! Into a bridge, baby!

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KICK OUT!

“THAT WAS THREE! THAT WAS THREE! THAT WAS THREE!”

Letting the crowd do the arguing for her, Alix brings J-OH to his feet by his stringy hair. She softens him up with two jabs to the breadbasket then whips him away. Apparently he's not as softened as she thought, as he reverses the move! O'Hara drops down and touches his toes, planning on having her leap frog him. But when the hippy-trippy honey returns, she turns around, then backflips over him. This puts him on the defensive, and he can't even see the woman he's defending against. Alix applies a sloppy full nelson, then drags him up for a full nelson slam! Unfortunately for her, he reveres it into an arm drag! Jamie gets on her case the minute she stands up, whipping her into the corner. She turns it around, launching [i]him[/i] back first into the steel buckles!  Alix follows him with a corner splash, but O'Hara is well prepared for her attack. He dips low and back body drops her over the ropes! Thankfully Alix is able to land her little boots squarely on the apron. 

Spezia sling shots herself back into the fray, getting O'Hara into a bulldog! But he shoves her off, saving himself from a nasty headache! As Alix turns around he levels her with a needlessly stiff lariat. COUNTERED into an even stiffer STO that leaves an imprint of O'Hara's body in the canvas! As that super sick move replays on TV's across the land, Alix is already setting up her next cringe worthy hold. She picks Jamie up, and keeps him dazed with a few elbows to the head. From there she drapes his arms across the top cable, facing him towards the rabid fans. The 5'5 superstar runs the ropes, rebounds, leaps into the air , and grabs Jamie's head with a inverted facelock on her ascent. Wowing the capacity crowd, she flies out of the squared circle with a diamond cutter variation! As Alix lands on the outside mats, her viscous hold snaps O'Hara's throat off the hard cables, and causes his head to bounce back so awkwardly it looks like it may roll clear off his shoulders!

“ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!” chant the amazed London faithful

COLE
Jesus Christ!

The lovable young lady blows kisses to her fans, while the detestable young lad spends his time coughing up blood. She celebrates her cool strike, by making like Missy Elliot and get-get-getting her freak on with a few fans in the front row. After finishing her dancing, she rolls into the ring, and grabs Jamie into grounded front face lock. Because there aren't any actual moves you can use in a grounded front face lock, she has to lift him up to do anything. Spezia shoots him into the air, runs to the corner, and gives him an oh-so nasty crotch first drop onto the top turnbuckle! “OOOOOH!” say the crowd members who aren't laughing at his misfortune. Just to alleviate some of the awful pain, Jamie puts his legs on the inside of the ring. 

COACH
Always count on the Upstarts to pull out the victory in the end!

Fraught with an extreme panic, O'Hara frantically kicks away at an advancing Alix. He manages to delay her assault for a little while. However he goes to well one too many times, and she grabs his foot on one of his slower kicks. From there Ally Cat yanks her worried foe clear off the turnbuckle! As he's about to plummet to the mat, she grabs both his legs onto her shoulders then lays waste to the poor kid by torpedoing him into the turnbuckle with a lethal powerbomb!

“HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!”

COLE
You got that right!

COACH
Jamie is a tough kid. He can bounce back from anything. Believe you me.

While O'Hara belts out an anvil-chorus(look it up, kids), she hooks him into a wheelbarrow suplex set up. As much as he's suffering right now, he's in for whole lot more pain if Alix gets her suplex off. Knowing this, he manages to secure a position on her shoulders on his ascent. He spins his skinny frame around, so that his crotch is in her face (lol!). He attempts a hurricanrana, however Alix has little difficulty flipping him off! When he lands, the riled up diva lunges at him with a lariat! He avoids near decapitation by ducking it! His arrogance getting the best of him, he taps his head with his index finger to show us how smart he is. He rotates to gloat to the fans on the other side, and is introduced to the world's nastiest yakuza kick! Again he avoids a beheading, ducking the brutal move! This time he does more then taunt, and slaps Alix with a gorgeous back heel kick! To his alarm the blow doesn't even knock her over, it just leaves her slightly dazed and [i]very very[/i] angry. She rumbles into him with a massive yakuza kick, that connects with his face with a resounding impact. The shot opens a deep gash on his forehead, and sends the tipsy brawler reeling all the way to the corner! Seeing nothing but red, Spezia charges him with her latest attempt to separate his head from his body, a running dropkick! Again Jamie fights off dismemberment, pulling Silverman in to be his meatsheild. [B]KRAAAAAAACK[/B]! That's the excruciatingly disturbing sound of Alix's shoes massacring Billy Silverman's facial cartilage. Nose gushing more blood then Red Cross gets in a year, Silverman collapses to the mat.

COLE
Silverman down! Silverman down!

Alix looks concerned for Silverman's welfare, but only because he promised to score her weed after the show. She's a little more disquieted about O'Hara, who's climbed to the top rope! He throws his body off, landing onto Alix's shoulders in a victory roll set up! He tries to pull her backwards, but there will be no victory for him, as Alix shoves him off with unerring ease. As he's plummeting to the mat, she amazingly catches him in a full nelson then hits him with the [b]Midnight Motivation[/b] (Full Nelson Face Crusher)!!!

“YEAAAAAAAA!” Go the crowd.

CABOOSE
Your boy is done, Coach.

Before Coach can even say “The Upstarts always have a plan”, boos and jeers are polluting the arena air, as GPX member Johnny Jax is storming down the aisle. Double J hops on the ring apron, ready to throw down with his hated rival. She's more then ready to rumble, and comes at him with a running forearm! But before her blow can dislodge his jaw, Johnny sprays her in the face with [i]Elegance[/i] a new fragrance by Krista Isadora Duncan!

COLE
Oh no!

“JOHNNY JACKASS! JOHNNY JACKASS!” the crowd chant at the Upstrat

Blinded by the sweet cherry scented perfume, Alix turns around and stumbles into a [color=red][b]SPIKED PUNCH[/b][/color] (double underhook brainbuster) from Scotty Static!

COACH
Spiked punch! Punched Spike! Sunched Pike! Ah!

COLE
Where in tarnation did he come from?!

The fans are pushed beyond infuriated, and pelt Static with every derogatory slur their minds can think of. He shows them zero interest, focusing his attention on dragging his bloodied ally, O'Hara onto a prone Alix. With O'Hara in position, Static rouses a befuddled Silverman, then escapes to ring side. As Billy makes a count, Static and Jax sit on the outside, [i]tearfully[/i] watching their masterplan play out to exquisiteness .

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COLE
No! Not this way! Damn it! Damn it!



3!!!

“BOOOOOOOOOO!”

As “Lose Yourself” returns to TV's nationwide, Static, still crying tears of joy, drags O'Hara, who doesn't even know he won a match, out of the ring. The GPX member gathers his best bud, Johnny Jax, and the trio retreat up the ramp. Scotty is radiant with pride over this hard won victory, Johnny is blinding random audience members with sprays of the perfume, and Jamie is back to talking all sorts of trash to whoever will listen.

COLE
Coach, the Upstarts stole one! It took three people to beat Alix Spezia.

COACH
Don't get so uptight about the Upstarts, mang. We do what it takes to win. Jamie got a win in his home country, and there ain't nothing wrong with that. Look, I'll tell you a joke to ease the pain. Knock knock.

COLE
Who's there?

COACH
Eura

COLE
Eura who?

COACH
Eura stupid bitch who needs to shut up before you get smacked across your face. I got yo monies! I got yo monies!

Edited December 9, 2005 by Patty O'Green

[Patty O'Green 0]

Just testing something