KingPK 0 Report post Posted December 9, 2005 (edited) OAOAST HeldDOWN~! Cheerio and all that rubbish, because the OAOAST's European Tour makes its second HeldDOWN~! stop in the Royal Albert Hall in jolly ol' London, England. Instead of the usual ear-bleeding tones of LaLa, the theme this week is an electric guitar rendition of "God Save the Queen", which I'm sure has Queen Elizabeth herself banging her head at Buckingham Palace. We head into the Royal Albert Hall and 15,000 screaming Brits, holding their Union Jack's high as the camera pans around at the crowd signs, revealing that "Popick's a Wanker" is a pretty popular opinion on the other side of the pond. We shoot over to Sofa Central and Triple Cee. MICHAEL COLE Welcome ladies and gentlemen to another edition of HeldDOWN!! Tonight we come to you from the Royal Albert Hall in London, England. (The crowd breaks into a "CA-BOOSE!!" chant) Well, it has to be nice to be in your backyard, 'Boose. CABOOSE Of course. Especially since if I want to get some of Popick again, I'll have 15,000 partners to back me up. COACH Now hold on, you know that Calvin told us earlier that the higher-ups told you are not to get physically involved with him any more or you won't be sitting at Sofa Central anymore. So get those thoughts out of your head. CABOOSE Fine, then I'll just sic them on you, Coach. COLE Let's cool it, guys. Tonight we've got the other two first round matches in the Six-Man Tag team tournament. First, Alfdogg teams up with Thunderkid and Reject to take on S.H.I. members Brock Ausstin and Team Heyross and then Black T teams up with one of the newest OAOAST Superstars, Theodore Moneymaker to face the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion Stephen Joseph, Tha Puerto Rican and Vitamin X. CABOOSE You are going to have to strap me to this seat to stop me from getting in there, my job be damned. Come on, Cole, you have to back me up here. COLE I can't say that I wouldn't love to see that happen, but the word has come down. It might not matter since Joseph will probaby still have to look over his shoulder for Axel, who is in the building. It should be a great night of action. Let's go up to Michael Buffer for our opening bout. *DING DING DING* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following tag team contest is set for one fall. Introducing first...from the Land of the Brave and the Home of the Free, the ALL-AMERICAN BOYS! Unlike last week, the All-American Boys are much better received in London, with scattered boos here and there. As "Stars & Stripes Forever" blares over the loud speakers, the All-Americans march down the aisle waving Old Glory. Once in the ring, they salute referee Billy Silverman and Michael Buffer. COLE Interesting match-up here, gentlemen. The All-American Boys vs. the South Central Militia. COACH I have no idea why the All-American Boys demanded this match. Well, I do, but it's gonna be a massacre, fellas. CABOOSE Hate to do it, but I must agree with Coachman. Make no mistake about it, the All-American Boys are a skilled team, but they're going up against a team who cares more about cracking heads than they do applying headlocks. BUFFER Their opponents. Being accompained to the ring by the foxiest honey in South Central L.A., Shyanne...from South Central Los Angeles, weighing a total of 535 pounds, the SOUTH CENTRAL MILITA! The SCM come to the ring with no music or pyro, just sneers on their faces as they sroll by the fans. Their valet and Moe's sister Shyanne is carrying a TRASH BAG. COLE This is unusual. The SCM and Shyanne are coming out here with a trash bag. COACH Duh! The people can read-- I mean see. They're about to take out the trash, Mikey. COLE After what they said last week, promising to send the Heavenly Rockers a message, OAOAST officials quickly put together a match for Sunday, December 18th, at Climax, featuring the SCM taking on the Heavenly Rockers. Speaking of which, the Heavenly Rockers may have been away last week but they heard the comments made by the SCM. So at this time let's hear these previously recorded comments from Synth and Logan. A small box appears in the bottom left corner of the screen. Inside a recording booth are the Heavenly Rockers, sporting sunglasses and matching Las Vegas Outlaws jerseys from the old XFL. SYNTH Ho, ho, ho! If it ain't your old friends...the Heavenly Rockers. As you can see, both still rockin' to the beat. The last time moi was seen on TV was at November Reign, where the Synthmeister's arm nearly got broken yet again. Ah ain't one to player-hate, but this heavenly rocker's fixin' to lay a hatin' on the South Central Militia. Tsk, tsk, tsk. The arm is just fine, sisters. Like the jolly red giant himself Santa Claus, Ah know when you are sleeping, Ah know when you're awake. Ah know when you been bad or good, and you've been bad. Very, very bad. But instead of Santa leaving coal in your stockings, he's gonna send the Heavenly Rockers to kick your ass! LOGAN I hope that rat-bastard Cornette is paying you boys well. You saved Simon and Ned, especially Ned, the ass-kicking of a lifetime at November Reign. Now you're pissed because we messed with your business. Let me remind ya that it was YOU that got involved in OUR business. It was YOU who jumped us in the cage, handcuffing us to the steel walls so you can assault MY girl, OUR business partner Holly-Wood. I guess you can call a spade a spade. Well, maybe not. Because it seems as though you have some pent us frustrations towards us, the kind you can't take out -- or in -- on each other. No, no. It has to be the beat 'em up till he can't take no more kind. I'm down with that. Whaddya 'bout you, player? SYNTH This gamer is ready to blow, baby! LOGAN Let's stop talking about our fantasies and make them into realities. You guys wanna fight? Why wait until Climax. We'll be in town next week. Let's meet face to face and settle what needs to be settled. SYNTH Now deal wit that ya'll muthafuckers! Bye-bye little box in the corner. COACH Pfft. We know the Heavenly Rockers can talk a big game from the confines of a recording stuido. Doing it face to face is a whole other thing. COLE The action has already started! * DING DING DING * The SCM step through the ropes and charge their opponents, backing them into the corner and pumpeling them with right hands. They throw the man who we'll call All-American Boy #1 out of the ring and bring #2 out of the corner, backing him up against the ropes, and whipping him across the ring. Moe and Vincent hit the near side and knock AAB off his feet with a double-team diving shoulderblock. Santana exits the ring, but not before kicking #2 in the head. One-Eye nails #1 getting back on the apron with a forearm smash, knocking him back down to the arena floor. There, Shyanne picks #1 up and rams him into the ringpost! In the ring, Moe scoopes #2 off the canvas and fires him back to the ropes, taking him up in the air and over with a thunderous powerslam! ONE... TWO... THREE-- NO! Moe, shaking his head with a smirk on his face, lifts the patriotic masked man's head up before referee Billy Silverman's hand hits the mat for a third time. He completely ignores the words being spoken to him by the referee. COLE Come on! He had the match won. As great of a team the All-American Boys are, they're no match for the raw power of the South Central Militia. Billy Silverman should seriously consider stopping this match before it gets out of hand. COACH The SCM clearly sending a message to the Heavenly Rockers. If I'm Synth and Logan, I stay locked up in the studio. I wouldn't want any part of Moe and Vincent. #2 rammed face-first into the boot of Vincent Santana's straddling the top rope. Santana hooks a groggy All-American Boy in a front facelock and takes him up in the air, falling back down with him to complete the vertical suplex. Vincent pops back to his feet and drops the leg across the chest. But instead of going for the cover he picks #2 up and kicks him in the gut, sticking #2's head between his legs and planting him into the canvas with a piledriver! COACH That's it. Whatever chance the All-American Boys had of winning have evaporated. Moe pulls #2 out of the ring and slams him into the ringpost. He steps back in and SPEARS #2 bouncing off the ropes, while Vincent comes off the near side with a FLYING FOREARM SMASH to the head, the double-team maneuver known as JAILBREAK! The cover and the count... ONE... TWO... THREE! * DING DING DING DING * COLE Total domination. The All-American Boys didn't have a chance from the start. BUFFER Here are your winners: the South Central Militia! The match may be officially over, but not to the SCM. Shyanne tosses AAB #1 into the ring. She then opens the trash bag and pulls out a BLONDE WIG, AFRO, and a pair of SUNGLASSES and LEATHER JACKETS. COLE What's the meaning of this? The match is over, damnit! CABOOSE We just found out what the bag was for. COACH Forgot e-mails. Forget IMs. This is the new face of instant messaging. And I, for one, hope the Heavenly Rockers are paying close attention to this. The SCM put the blonde wig, leather jacket and shades on #1. Shyanne enters to hold #1 up for Moe to SPEAR and Vincent to nail in the head with the FLYING FOREARM. COLE Damnit! Not another Jailbreak. Come on, referee! Do you job and put a stop to this. The SCM then put the afro, jacket and shades on #2, hitting him with a DOUBLE DDT afterwards! A clear message to the Heavenly Rockers who use the DDT, which they call Percussion. Moe and Vincent go for their belts, prompting Billy Silverman to step in and put an end to the mayhem. Or so he thinks. Shyanne decks him with a right hand. The SCM proceed to whip the All-American Boys until OAOAST officials rush out from the back. Terry Taylor eats a right to the jaw by Moe as he steps onto the apron. With the officials unable to gain control, Carl Winslow and his security force come in and put a stop to the rampage. The SCM exit the ring, laughing, as security have their nightsticks ready to use. COACH I think the Heavenly Rockers just got their message loud and clear. COLE Last week, we found out some pretty surprising news as Candie announced that she is pregnant, and Zack Malibu is the father. COACH Hold on, the paternity test still hasn't made it official. The Coach might be the daddy. CABOOSE Please, your sperm are so weak that they get scared by the egg and swim right back out. COLE ANYWAY, earlier this week Josh Matthews went to the home of Zack and Candie and sat down for a brief chat. We then cut to the lavish stylings of the Malibu household, and it appears that the man who has been arguably the greatest star in the OAOAST since its inception, has a guest. Malibu and Candie sit on the black sofa, while the guest, sitting just across from them in a chair, is HeldDOWN's ace reporter, interviewer, and additional cast member for many a segment, JOSH MATTHEWS~! JOSH Zack, Candie, thanks for letting the OAOAST into your home, especially during the busy holiday season. MALIBU Not a problem, J. Math. CANDIE No problem at all, Josh. JOSH OK, well, there really aren't any "hard-hitting" questions today per se, but I guess the big news we've got to talk about is that Candie is now an expectant mother. CANDIE Eagerly awaiting its arrival, that's for sure! JOSH Now Zack, does this change your gameplan, your mentality when it comes to being an in-ring superstar. I mean, fatherhood is going to take a toll on you, and... MALIBU Whoa Josh, I know where you're going with this. First off, one thing will be changing, and that's that the beautiful young lady next to me won't be at ringside with me for the next nine months. There are too many risks, and too many people who have it out for me that I hate putting her in danger, but now I have an extra life to consider as well. JOSH You mentioned people that have it out for you, and I assume you mean The Upstarts contingent. MALIBU Mostly them, yes. You see, and here's the part where some people will say the "ego" is kicking in...but when you're someone of my stature, of my notoriety, you have everyone wanting a shot at you. Everyone who wants to be something wants to make their name at your expense. Combine that with the fact that Leon Rodez and I are the current reigning World Tag Team Champions, and that's two targets on my back. Combine THAT with the fact that The Upstarts, whether it's The GPX, Christian Wright, or Popick himself, and it puts the odds against you. JOSH You've never been one to worry about the odds falling out of your favor. MALIBU No, I never have. Some people call it fearlessness. Other people think I'm stupid, but you know what, I've survived. I have taken some of the most brutal beatings imaginable. I have survived the gossip and the drama and the backstage politics in this business. I'm a man whose been on both sides of the fence, both the victim and the man responsible. This business is a deadly game, and as we've proven over the last few months, you're either a follower or a leader. I think you know which one I am. JOSH Without question. Now, getting back to the original question about fatherhood, could we see Zack Malibu moving away from the ring in 2006 and becoming Mr. Mom? MALIBU (laughing) Heh, well, to an extent, Josh. I'm going to be by Candie's side. I'm going to see my child grow up right. Does this mean I'm retiring? Oh no, not a chance. And I'm sorry for those of you watching this right now, but you're not going to get rid of me that easily. I plan on being there for my family first and foremost, but I will always, ALWAYS be there for this company and its fans. JOSH Well Zack, we thank you for your time, and you Candie as well. This is Josh Matthews reporting from the Malibu "home base", and when we come back we'll bring you more LIVE action on HeldDOWN~! Edited December 9, 2005 by KingPK Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted December 9, 2005 (edited) COLE A great shot of Picadilly Circus as we return to the show. I'm pretty excited about this next match. We have a returning superstar we haven't seen for quite some time here in OAOAST. CABOOSE No way. Is that Reno Riggins?! I haven't seen that guy in years. COLE I was talking about his opponent. COACH Mr. Riggins deserves your respect. He nearly defeated Mabel who not longer after went on to win the WWF King of the Ring. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall. In the ring, hailing from Nashville, Tennessee and weighing in tonight at 240 pounds: "THE REAL DEAL" RENO RIGGINS! CABOOSE He's the real deal! COACH I forgot how much I missed this guy. Who's he up against anyway? BUFFER And his opponent, making his return tonight to the OAOAST, he hails from Kyoto, Japan and weighs in at 217 pounds: FOSHI! CABOOSE and COACH Foshi?! "The Grand Design" hits as Foshi makes his way to the ring to a very nice pop and applause from the fans who know what he's faced over the past few years. Foshi, normally very determined and solemn, acknowledges the fans tonight. As he climbs in the ring, he gives a thumbs up to all sides of the arena. COLE Foshi is back and I couldn't be happier to see him. CABOOSE This guy has faced a lot of demons over the years, but he's as tough as they come and from someone who's been in that ring, I know how difficult it can be to get back in there. It's not as easy as just stepping through the ropes. COACH Well, his glorious return could be cut short if he can't take down the Real Deal. *DING DING DING* COLE And this match is under way. Foshi and Riggins lock up to start. I'd say Riggins has the experience advantage, but Foshi's a lot younger and faster. Foshi with a Japanese arm drag and another. He misses with a roundhouse kick and Riggins rolls to the outside. CABOOSE That's good strategy. Foshi started off with the advantage and this could help to erase that momentum. Riggins is a veteran. COLE Foshi follows him to the outside. Riggins catches him off guard with an elbow to the face and another. COACH Nothing more scientific than a good old fashioned elbow to the face. COLE Back in the ring now and Riggins drops an elbow on the chest. The cover...2 and...Foshi kicks out. COACH That used to be Reno's finisher back in the day so this match was a lot closer to ending than you probably realize. I don't think he got all of it, but Foshi better watch out for the elbow. (Coach's headset is muffled for a moment.) That hurt! CABOOSE I'm glad. COLE Riggins now has Foshi set up in the corner and he drives the knee to the gut. An irish whip to the far side and....Riggins misses the charge and Foshi with kicks to the gut and...a roundhouse that connects with the side of the head. CABOOSE Ouch. COLE Riggins is down, but Foshi is not going for the cover. COACH I think this is a bad move. If Foshi were smart, he'd work over the elbow to try and eliminate the effectiveness of that devestating elbow drop. COLE I don't think Foshi's worried about Reno's elbow. COACH Well, he should be. CABOOSE You should be worried about my foot in your ass. COLE Foshi now setting up Riggins and hits a springboard moonsault, but again not covering. CABOOSE I think Foshi is out here to do more than just try and win this match. COACH He should try to end it quickly because if he doesn't win, it's back to unemployment for him. COLE Foshi now rolling Riggins to the outside. He's waiting on Reno. COACH I don't see why you would give a fearsome opponent like Reno Riggins enough time to gather himself. CABOOSE I have to agree with that. COLE Reno back to his feet and Foshi....DEVESTATING spinning heel kick and Reno knocked into the ringpost from that one. Foshi now rolling him back in the ring. CABOOSE It looks like Riggins was busted open either from the kick or hitting the post. COACH Or a combination of both. COLE Foshi now setting up Riggins and...a tiger bomb, but again not going for the cover. Now he's picking up Riggins and an irish whip into the corner. Foshi with a running dropkick to the midsection, kip up, and a dropkick to the face. COACH I think Riggins has been somewhere else since that initial kick to the head. Foshi kicks about as hard as anyone I've ever seen. COLE Is that somewhere else a place where the elbow drop is a devestating finisher? COACH It's some place where Michael Cole likes women. CABOOSE (heard laughing) COLE Foshi setting up Riggins again and a tornado DDT. CABOOSE Riggins it out. COLE But Foshi still not going for the cover. Instead, he's headed to the outside and....a springboard...dropping the leg across the face of Riggins. Foshi now picks up Riggins and...BRAINBUSTER! Foshi with the cover.... CABOOSE Good night. 1...2....3! COLE This one is over emphatically. BUFFER Here is your winner: FOSHI! COACH I'm impressed. Riggins is a former NWA Tag Team champion, but there would've been a very different outcome to this match had Riggins hit his elbow drop effectively. I wouldn't be surprised to see a rematch. COLE Nevertheless, Foshi making a big statement here in his return to OAOAST with a very impressive victory. Foshi makes his way from the ring with a very determined look on his face. CABOOSE I don't know what Foshi has in mind for his return here, but it's obviously something. COACH Let's go to the back, where it looks like Josh Matthews is standing by with "Floggin'" Molly Matthews...why? We don't know either. (Cut to the HeldDOWN~! Interview Set, where Matthews is standing, and Molly's going around him, riding on a small tricycle.) JOSH Welcome fans, I'm standing here with a young lady who...well, I'm not even going to try and describe here...but Molly Matthews, I need to ask: how is your compatriot El Chica Generico been after the Torneo Cibernetico? MOLLY (halts her trike and stands up) You know, that Torneo Cibernetica was supposed to be Generico's night! That was her stage to prove that she was on the up-and-up; that she could hang with the best in the world, on her grounds, in lucha libre. THEN, freakin' Pantera Combatienta decided to pull the veteran card and get all pissy because Generico's a fun person, and she likes to joke around. In a way, I'm partly responsible, since she started really becoming a whack-job when I started drinking with her. But since November Reign...Generico hasn't been right, man. She won't return anyone's phone calls, or e-mails...I sent her a damned smoke signal on Tuesday and I never heard back! It's because of YOU, Pantera! NO ONE screws with my friends like that! That's why I gave the Board of Directors a contract that I had my gay lawyer cousin Josh draw up... JOSH ...not me... MOLLY Shut up, this is important. But, I gave them this contract that I had drawn up for me to face Pantera Combatienta at Climax, and all I need is Pantera's signature on it for it to be approved! So at the Pay-Per-View Pantera, you're gonna live up to your namesake...I might just bring a gun and 'Dimebag' you! (Serena Blackmore walks into the shot with a pen and what looks like a contract.) SERENA Hey! Look what I found laying around in the Board of Directors' makeshift office thingy here! It's some sort of contract...you signed it, and it's for Climax. Hey! I don't have a match for that show...(Serena forces Josh bent and signs it on his back, then hands the contract to Molly) Looks like it's you and me at Climax, kid. MOLLY What the hell's up with you? SERENA Don't blame me! Blame yourself for hogging up TV time with your stupidity, blinding the Powers-That-Be to the point where I, me, myself...a DESERVING COMPETITOR doesn't get diddly-squat for in-ring time and experience. It's been the same four-to-six girls doing the same-ol' thing over and over again, and it's time for me to shine. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go pack my stuff up and go back home to train, since I need to at least look like it's been hard after I beat you on live, national Pay-Per-View. It'd be a much better story for the newspapers than "Serena demolishes nobody". Later. (Serena walks off, as Molly glares at her angrily...) (Cut back to Sofa Central) COLE Wow! With literally just the stroke of a pen, Serena Blackmore's taken it upon herself to change the course of events for Climax! It'll be Blackmore vs. Molly! Elsewhere in the arena, far far away from the ringside area... ...OK, so we're backstage. And we're backstage with the one and only Terry Taylor, supporting cast member extraordinaire, as he stands by with one of the most exciting and despised teams in the OAOAST, namely the Global Party Exchange. TAYLOR Scotty, Johnny, coming off November Reign and that incredible first ever Iron Tag match, you guys still find yourselves lacking the gold belts that you once wore proudly, before the attitude change that... Rudely, Static swipes the mic from Taylor. STATIC Listen up Rooster, I don't wanna hear you crowin' about how me and Johnny came up short. Consdering how many times YOUR career has been through the ringer, this mic holding gig is gonna make the Terry Taylor "Best Of" comp, if anyone is ever bored enough to make one. So just stand there and look pretty for the camera, while me and Johnny do the talking. JAX See, it's real simple, Taylor. You put four of the best wrestlers in the world today in the ring together, and you're guaranteed a classic. The thing is, Taylor, we're not gonna give you, or The Usual Suspects, or the world, what they want. Everyone's watching right now expecting to see the typical heel promo. The vow of vengeance, where we claim that the Suspects will rue the day they crossed the Global Party Exchange. Well, sorry fellas, but it's not gonna happen. See, you guys did beat us, and we can admit that, however while you've got those belts around your waist, the GPX walked away with something extremely valuable to them. We walked away with a moral victory. We've now proven that no matter what you throw at us, whether it's a two out of three falls match, an Iron Tag, whatever, that we can hang. Those two matches may have not allowed us to recapture the gold we desire, but it helped us further prove our point...that The Upstarts are on the same level as the Originals that think they're so much better than us. STATIC You see, Terry, everyone thinks The Upstarts were based on faulty claims. Everyone thinks that we're just a band of egos that have molded ourselves into one giant ball of professional jealousy. The thing about the Upstarts is that we're not a label, we're a stable...a cohesive unit bent on one thing, to prove that the time of Zack Malibu, Dan Black, Tony Brannigan, and the rest of the OAOAST Originals has come and gone. Those guys, they're passe. Yesterday's news. We are today's trend, and to steal a quote from old Malibu himself, we are what's "in". We are allowing people like Jamie O'Hara the chance to hit a home run in their rookie season, rather than toil in obscurity, mired in the midcard or below. We are leaving the window open for all the new talent, and all those who see the light to join the movement. Hanging in their with The Usual Suspects helped us prove what was stated when we first bonded together...that you cannot resist our existence! As for the World Tag Team Titles, they'll... "Excuse me, Terry, but may we have a word." TAYLOR Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Why do you hate me, Jesus? Taylor and the GPX turn, as does the cameraman, to see Alix and Krista, that other famous team with three initials, standing several feet away. JAX Well look what we have here, The Bitch and The Butch. STATIC Hehe, good one Johnny J. ALIX Sigh...boys. People at home, make sure ya got your TIVO's ready because I'm about to say something really smart! You know, we haven't been back all that long, but we can't help but notice this whole war you've started. The whole Originals/Upstarts thing, ya know it just...I dunno. It's kinda um, dumb. And when you hang around Krista all the time you know a thing or two about dumb people. Million dollar body. Fifty cent brain. Anywho, I mean, isn't what you guys want to do to the Originals the same thing you're blaming them for doing? Static and Jax don't say a word, while Alix folds her arms and offers a smirk, as if she's got it all figured out. Terry Taylor cowers in fear. STATIC No, no no...let me tell you something...you two girls, the only reason you're in this tag division, in this COMPANY, is because of your whole equal opportunity belief system. The same system that we believe in. We want an equal opportunity, the chance that we haven't gotten because of people like Zack, and Tony, and... KRISTA Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnd I've heard enough. Please, you're like two schoolkids desperate for attention, so you jump up onto the lunch table doing something stupid and being all "look at me, look at me!" People in this company have to earn their stardom. Alix and I did it...after all, we are former World Tag Team Champions. Alix, ever the perky one, nods her head "yes" and gets in the GPX's faces. ALIX Yeah we were, yeah we were, yeah we were! KRISTA Annnnnnnnnnnd I seem to recall us defeating one of those promising tag teams, what was there name, ooooh yes, why, it was you two! Alix, in need of a valium at this point, gets in their faces again. ALIX Yeah we did, yeah we did, yeah we did! Getting angered, Static piefaces Alix and sends her to the ground, causing Krista to come forward and bitchslap the taste out of his mouth. KRISTA You wanna put your hands on us boys, we just might be down for that. JAX Yo Scotty, I thought you said that... STATIC She's challenging us to a MATCH, dude. JAX Oh. Alix recovers and charges, but Krista turns around and holds her back, leaving little Alix to kick and scream in her arms. ALIX You wanna touch me, honey bunches of oats?! You boys better keep December 18th open, because that night you're gonna Climax...WITH US! JAX We're still talking about a match, right? ALIX Yeah. JAX Damn. STATIC Sounds good to me, sweetheart. Remind me to let you borrow my scuba gear in case you two want to go diving before the match! JOHNNY Oh snap! Snap-crackle-pop! At this point Krista lets go of Alix and the COD charges, but the GPX backs off laughing when security comes to split things up. As both teams are led off camera, Terry Taylor stares at the camera in disbelief as the scene fades, while the crowd in the arena and the viewers at home soak in all the innuendo that was thrown at them. “Mutiny” by The Soundtrack Of Our Lives kicks up as Mike Guerriero walks through the sliding doors. As the camera follows him WCW style, he shows off his Eddie Guerrero Tribute shirt, then goes up the stairs and into the ring, with Mike’s trademark lack of showmanship. Michael Buffer: Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Mike “The PUN-ISHER” Guerriero! Mike gets a microphone and begins speaking. Guerriero: A couple of weeks ago, at World Without End, Otaku II went out and wrestled Vitamin X despite suffering a concussion the Thursday before. He was not fully recovered, and not only did the doctors not want him wrestling, everyone in the Mad Machine locker room did not want him out there, but Otaku is a stubborn and brave man. He fought as best he could, but the man simply wasn’t ready for his match and right now, he’s at home, back in Boston, recovering with Ayane. I, however, came here for a fight. So Vitamin X, come and take your punishment like a man! Mike drops the microphone and faces the entrance way, crouching to prepare for his foe, but he’s looking the wrong way, the crowd starts booing as Vitamin X hops the guard rail armed with a cookie sheet and blasts Guerriero from behind! Guerriero goes down, but twists out as X attempts to lock in the Lethal Injection STF, then fights to his feet, using the ropes to pull himself up as a referee comes into the ring, signaling for the bell and an impromptu match. He also pulls the cookie sheet away from Vitamin X. Mike uses the time to recover while X argues with the referee about making it a street fight or a hardcore match or some such thing. Finally, the Punsher is up and ready to go, and sees that X is STILL arguing with the referee, and he just isn’t going to get his way. Mike smiles, raising his arm for the crowd’s benefit before charging and walloping X’s spinal cord with a big time lariat to the back of the head! The crowd roars its approval. Caboose: What kind of referee is he? If he’s going to make this a match, he clearly had all the right circumstances to put together a good hardcore rules match, and when he doesn’t, he lets this punk Guerriero attack X from behind, hitting a blow to the back of the head! I’m pretty sure that’s illegal! Cole: No, it isn’t, and X is the one who jumped Guerriero, Mike never said a word about what kind of match he wanted. Coach: If X had come out like most people do, they could’ve agreed to a hardcore match, then X could’ve smacked Guerriero with the cookie sheet as much as he liked. Caboose: My God, Coach actually said something semi intelligent, he must be evolving into a more sinister form or something! Coach remains silent Back in the ring, Guerriero pulls up the X Man and sets up a press slam, picking his foe up and holding him parallel to the floor above his head. The crowd cheers, and it looks Mike might throw the villain all the way down to the floor, but X reaches into his pants and throws salt into Mike’s eyes! Mike drops him to the mat, which still causes X a significant amount of pain, but nothing like what he wanted to do. The referee signals for the bell immediately as Mike tries to clear his eyes, but X chop blocks him, then applies the Lethal Injection, refusing to let go until he sees Otaku running down the ramp, at which point X makes a hasty escape through the crowd. Otaku tries to give chase, but the referee stops him and tells him he should go check on his friend. Otaku complies, checking with Mike as a doctor comes down to make sure he hasn’t suffered eye damage. Cole: That was typical Vitamin X, he may be the master of the cheapshot! Caboose: You’re right, he is, and he’s one of the smartest wrestlers on the roster because of it. He knows wins and losses, for the large part, don’t mean as much as hurting a foe, and X took the path of least pain here. That intelligence is why he’s with the Lightening Crew. Cole:We'll be back from London. Order Climax. Please? It can be my Christmas present! Edited December 9, 2005 by Patty O'Green Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted December 9, 2005 CALINFORNIA LOVE!!!!! YEAHHHHHHH!!!! COLE Welcome back folks and here comes the X-Division Champion. That can mean only one thing. It's time for our X Title Match for this week and we don't know who Parka's opponent is. COACH Nope. Only one person knows that and that's Calvin. Parka asked for it to be that way. Why? I don't know why. CABOOSE Because he's mental. "California Love" by Dr. Dre and Tupac plays as the El Camino pulls out onto the stage. Parka revs the engine while holding his X Title out of the window and up in the air for the fans to see. The fans cheer as Parka turns off the car and gets out. He then holds the title over his head for all to see before walking to the ring and sliding in. BUFFER Coming to the ring, accompanied by Eddy Kalm, and hailing from San Diego, California. He weighs in at 245 pounds and is the reigning X-Division Champion. THE PARKA!!!!!! COLE Last week he beat the big man Mr. Boricua. Boricua is not your normal X Division wrestler, but they say it's no limits. CABOOSE From what I'm hearing wrestlers of all sizes have signed up to face Parka, but Calvin picks the one who will face Parka. Parka poses on the turnbuckles for a few more seconds as his music dies down. He then takes off the La Parka mask and hands it to Eddy. BUFFER And his opponent! A cold, dark voice begins to speak the ungodly hymn over the loud speakers, as smoke begins to cover the entrance way. "Come on God, Answer Me. For Years, I've Been Asking You Why? Why are the Innocent Dead and the Guilty Alive? Where is Justice? Where is Punishment? . . . . . . . . . . . Or Have You Already Answered? Have You Already Said to the World, Here is Justice. Here is Punishment. Here.... In Me." COLE Oh no. COACH Oh yes. "Punishment" by BIOHAZARD starts up, as "Good Ol EC'Dub" Rick Heyross, walks out first, followed by "The Current Big Thing" Brock Ausstin. Brock stops at the top of the ramp, and starts doing his "Happy Happy Hoss Dance~!" Brock and Heyross continue their way down to the ring, and as Heyross walks up the steel steps into the ring, Brock leaps onto the ring apron from the floor. Brock steps into the ring, and starts doing his "Happy Happy Hoss Dance~!" again. COLE Yet another opponent that is larger than Parka. CABOOSE Do you think he's regretting giving an open challenge yet? BUFFER His opponent, accompanied by his manager, Rick Heyross! Hailing from Victoria, Minnesota, and weighing in at 320 pounds...a member of Stevens/Heyross Incorporated, and one of the most fearsome figures in the wrestling world today...BROCK AUSSTIN!!!!!! COACH Let's not forget that Peter Knight is no lightweight and he was X Champ for quite some time. Parka beat him, so we know he can handle himself when he is outweighed. COLE Wow...Coach bringing logic and knowledge to the table? CABOOSE No that was me. I had someting caught in my throat...made me sound like Coach. The music dies down as does Brock's dancing. Heyross exits the ring and rubs his hands together menacingly while staring at Parka. *DING DING DING* COLE Here we go. Parka and Brock circle each other and immediately Brock calls for a test of strength with a wide grin on his face and a laugh from Heyross. BOOOOOOOO!!!! COLE Brock calling for a test of strength, but he seems to be taking Parka lightly. CABOOSE That would not be smart; however, I do not believe he is taking him lightly as much as he's just playing it cool. Parka looks at Brock's hands, looks at the crowd who tell him not to do it, and then looks back. Finally they lock fingers and Brock gets the immediate advantage before playing to the crowd at Parka's expense. COACH I really do think Cole is right. Brock is taking him lightly. Parka begins to fight it and begins to bring his arms back up. As both men's arms are out to the side Brock steps back and plants a boot to Parka's gut while letting go of the hold. Brock then whips Parka to the ropes, but Parka springs back with a flying Forearm that stuns Brock. Brock doesn't go down, but he does stumble into the ropes. COLE See what I mean! CABOOSE It's only one exchange. Nothing to worry about if you are Brock. Parka is quick on the draw as he grabs Brock's arm and whips him across the ring. As Brock comes back Parka hits a quick Jumping Leg Lariat that takes Brock down. COLE That is what Parka needs to do. He needs to strike quick and keep Brock on the ground. CABOOSE That's easier said that done. COACH Yeah it is! Look Brock is already up! Brock gets to his feet as Parka does and cuts off anymore comebacks with a knee to the gut and some hard forearms to the back. Brock continues pounding the back of Parka with forearms until he goes down to one knee. He then pulls Parka right back up by the hair, drawing a warning from the ref, and into his arms. COLE Is he going for a Belly to Belly? No he's not. Brock lifts Parka up and slams him back first against the turnbuckles before attacking him with a barrage of knees to the gut. Brock then pulls Parka out of the corner and whips him hard into the opposite corner. Before Parka can even catch his breath Brock charges in with a Clothesline into the corner. Parka then stumbles out right into Brock's hands where he tosses him across the ring with the Hossly Goodness (Overhead Belly to Belly Suplex)! COLE There it is! CABOOSE Parka needs to slow Brock down or he'll lose his title pretty quick tonight. COACH Brock still has that grin on his face. He's gloating, but he's not going for a cover! Heyross yells at Brock to keep on him as Brock had gloated for a few seconds after the suplex. Brock grabs Parka as he begins to stand, but Parka fires off with lefts and rights to the stomach and finally right hands to the head. He manages to back Brock into a corner and then whips him across to the opposite side. Brock hits hard and tries to charge right back, but Parka nails a High Dropkick that sends Brock right back into the corner. Parka runs in and hops onto Brock's shoulders for a Hurricanrana and hits it! Before he can stand again Parka goes for a cover and hooks the leg. 1 2 No!! COLE Parka is playing it smart and going for covers when Brock is dazed. CABOOSE Yeah, but a Hurricanrana isn't going to finish him off! COLE I know, but it's good to get in the habit of going straight for covers. As Brock is standing Parka locks in a Side Headlock and takes him over to the mat. Parka then keeps the hold locked in and grounds his opponent to slow the pace of the match. COACH Good move. CABOOSE Yeah I agree with the moron. Brock tries to power out, but as he gets to his feet Parka hits another Headlock Takedown and they end up back where they started. Brock pounds the mat out of frustration, but Heyross tells him it's alright. Parka then pulls up to the kneeling position and adjusts to a Rear Chinlock while planting a knee to Brock's back. COLE I've never seen Parka wrestle like this. I believe his run in with Boricua last week taught him that he needs to slow his bigger opponents down. CABOOSE Especially after last week. Boricua nearly tore the ring down with the stuff he was doing. COACH Well yeah, but he was a little loopy in the head. CABOOSE Loopy?? COACH Oh shut up Caboose you know what I mean. CABOOSE Don't tell me to shut up. Brock begins to power out again, but Parka quickly switches to his arm and takes Brock down with an Armdrag! Brock pounds the mat even harder out of frustration as Parka locks in an armbar and the fans begin to laugh at Brock as he throws his fit. COLE Parka is showing he can adjust to a different style and it's bothering Brock. CABOOSE Yeah, but I just realized...is angering Brock really what Parka wants to do?? COLE Oh...good point. Brock powers back up to his feet again and manages to toss Parka to the ropes and there Heyross trips Parka up and he falls face first to the mat. The ref would have admonished Heyross, but Brock had distracted him and the fans let Heyross know they are pissed. COLE Hey he tripped him! CABOOSE Funny I thought he was wiping some trash off the mat and Parka tripped over him! COACH Trash on the mat from what? Brock grabs Parka off the mat and throws him over the top rope to the floor before following him out. He then pulls Parka up yet again and sends him back first against the guardrail! Parka falls into a sitting position against the rail, but Brock pulls him up again and this time he rams him back first into the ringpost! COLE My God he's going to break Parka's back! CABOOSE You mean rebreak it don't you? COLE I'm afraid so. Parka hasn't had any problems with his back in a couple of months now after he lightened his workload for awhile there. COACH Well he certainly isn't lightening his workload now with a match every week. Parka lies on the mat in pain as Brock breaks the ref's count and comes back out. Brock pulls Parka back up again, Presses him over his head, and throws him back into the ring through the ropes. Heyross laughs and cheers Brock on as the fans boo. Parka rolls around on the mat as Brock comes back in and beckons him to stand. As Parka stands Brock hits The Clothesline of Mass Destruction on him and Parka is knocked for a loop! Brock then goes for a cover. 1 2 No!!! COLE I thought for a second he had him! CABOOSE Well if you were capable of thinking for longer you would have known better! Brock then pulls Parka to his feet and into his arms for a Backbreaker. He drops him on his knee, but pulls him right back up and shakes his head to say that he's not through. He drops him again on his knee and pushes down on Parka's chin and knees. COLE Brock is holding that Backbreaker position and trying to bend Parka over his knee! COACH Trying? Cole it looks to me that he's succeeding. The ref asks if Parka wants to quit and he says no, but this just causes Brock to push harder on the hold. Eddy looks concerned as Heyross looks estatic. The fans start clapping to get Parka back into the match as Parka starts laying in the punches and forearms to anywhere he can reach on Brock. Brock finally gets the hint and shoves Parka to the mat to end the onslaught. However, Brock goes right to stomping Parka as he tries to stand. Parka makes it to his feet only to have Brock whip him across the ring and on the way back Brock hits a hard Spinebuster that shakes the ring. HEYROSS YES!!!!! COLE That could do it! He nearly put Parka thorugh the mat. 1 2 3!! No! Parka kicks out! HEYROSS Crush him!! Brock motions for Parka to stand and Parka does so groggily. As Parka finally stands he is taken right back off his feet with a hard Spear! COLE HERE COMES THE PAIN~!!! CABOOSE And there goes Parka! 1 2 3!! No!!! Parka kicks out again!! COLE I can't believe it! Neither can Heyross as he's hopping mad (literally) and Brock isn't too happy either. Brock yanks Parka to his feet and locks in a Bearhug and Parka cries out in pain. COLE This has to be it. CABOOSE You're track record at predictions isn't exactly good Cole. Brock really wrenches in on the Bearhug and Parka cries out in pain as the ref asks if he wants to quit. Parka is slow to answer, but he still says no. CABOOSE He's fading. Parka starts to look woozy as Brock cranks in hard. The fans try to get Parka back into the match with cheering and clapping. The ref lifts Parka's hand once. And it drops. He lifts his arm again... And it drops for a second time. The ref then lifts the arm again.... And it stays up!! COLE He's not out yet!! CABOOSE You were wrong again Cole! COACH It's good to not be the wrong one for once. Ha! Parka begins to punch Brock in the head until Brock tosses Parka across the ring with an Overhead Belly to Belly Suplex! COLE Just when you thought Parka was coming back! Brock makes a cover. 1 2 3!! No!!! Parka kicks out!! COLE Geez! Brock cut off Parka's comeback yet again! CABOOSE That's what he has to do! Brock then pulls Parka up and goes for a Powerbomb.....but Parka turns it into a Hurricanrana!!! COLE Parka got him over!!! However, Parka can't capitalize because he is exhausted. The fans are cheering and clapping as Parka crawls over and drapes an arm on Brock. 1 2 3!!! No!!! Brock kicks out!! COLE Parka just took too long!! CABOOSE He is worn out. Parka gets up and the blood starts pumping. The fans begin to rise as Parka shakes the cobwebs out and starts to get a smile on his face. He begs Brock to come on as Brock charges only for Parka to duck down, hoist him onto his shoulders, and hit a Samoan Drop! Instead of going for the cover he goes to the apron and signals to the crowd. He then hits the Slingshot Senton Splash onto Brock! COLE Parka's coming back!!! COACH And he's going for a cover right away! 1 2 3!!! No!!! Brock kicks out again!! Parka doesn't skip a beat before mounting the second turnbuckle and hitting a Diving Elbow to the sternum and going for another cover. 1 2 No!!! COLE The adrenaline is pumping in Parka, but Brock keeps kicking out!! Brock is up again and Parka goes right for a Vertical Suplex and then rolls over for another one. COLE He's going for the Supercharger! Parka gets him up for another Suplex, but Brock fights out and grabs him from behind. Brock goes for a Release German Suplex, but Parka flips through and lands on his feet. Brock quickly goes in for another attack, but Parka hits a Low Dropkick to Brock's knee that puts him down on one knee on the mat. Parka then measures him for the Shining Wizard and rushes in....but Brock springs to life and hits a Spinebuster! Heyross almost has a heartattack as Brock goes for a cover. 1 2 3!! No!! Parka kicks out!! COLE Brock is back in control!! CABOOSE Yeah, but both men are worn out! COACH I've said it before, but Parka is going to regret defending the title every single week if he keeps facing opponents like this. Brock pulls Parka to his feet and goes for the F-Stunner-5! COLE Here he goes!! HEYROSS Kill him!!! Brock swings Parka out for the move, but Parka manages to hook his head on the way down and hits a DDT!! COLE Parka countered it!!! COACH I can't believe it!! Parka goes for the cover. 1 2 3!! No!! Brock kicks out!!! Parka quickly moves for the corner and climbs to the top rope. COLE Could we be about to see Parka's new finisher? He calls it the Death from Above! COACH Okay that's tight. Brock sees Parka climbing and springs to his feet in time to crotch Parka on the top rope. CABOOSE Brock saw it coming!! Brock then climbs to the top rope and gets ready for a Superplex. He hooks Parka for the move and looks out into the crowd with the grin he had earlier. COLE He doesn't need to be stalling! Parka comes to life and shoves Brock off the top much to the delight of the fans. YEAHHHHHH!!!!! COLE Finally I was right on a prediction!! CABOOSE Don't get cocky! Parka steadies himself and goes for the Death from Above (Shooting Star Double Stomp) and hits it!! COLE He hit it!!! Brock holds his gut in pain as Parka goes for a cover. 1 2 3!!! *DING DING DING* COLE Parka got him!! CABOOSE Brock wasted too much time on the top rope and Parka pulled it out! COACH What a match. BUFFER Here's your winner and still X-Division Champion....THE PARKA!!!!! Heyross is beside himself on the outside as "California Love" starts back up and Parka exits the ring with his belt held high. Eddy joins Parka as they walk back to the El Camino. Heyross joins Brock in the ring as he gets to his feet, holding his gut in pain, and looks pissed. COLE Brock almost had the X Title in his hands. CABOOSE That's okay he still has a shot at the 6 Man Tag Titles. COLE Yeah, but you know it can't sit well with Heyross to not have that X Title as well. (Speaking of the Six Man Tag Tournament) Backstage we SWOOP~ to The Usual Suspects' locker room, where the OAOAST World Tag Team Champions are relaxing and enjoying a rare night off. The cosy couple, Candie and Zack, sit on a bench at the back of the room, arm in arm, like sappy couples do. Leon meanwhile tries to block out the searing, sickly pain by getting in a quick game on his PSP. The blissful bliss is short lived though, as a knock on the door is followed seconds later by the former X-Division Champion, Peter Knight, entering the ring. KNIGHT You wanted a word with me? Zack looks up and looks relieved to see PK, as he stands up to meet him. ZACK Yeah, we did. Listen, last week, me and Leon were a little bit sceptical and I don't mind admitting that to you. In recent weeks, you've been...different. With Parka. And there was the deal with The GPX a few weeks ago. Look, what I'm trying to say is, I trust you. I might have seemed weird last week, but hopefully, next week we can go out there as a real trio and make sure we qualify for the final. We know what it's like to lose titles and we know you were in a foul mood, but we're on your side. Just remember that and we'll be fine. KNIGHT Right. Listen, if you're trying to offer me counselling or something, I don't need it. All I need right now is some gold back around my waist. If it happens to be 6-Man Tag Titles with you guys, so be it. ZACK Right. Good to hear. Suddenly, Zack suddenly has to duck, sharpish, as a pair of headphones hurtle across the room and slam into the wall beside The Franchise. LEON God, damn it! How the hell do these Mexicans get so good!?! Hell, how the hell do they get PSPs in the first place!?! Curse you, WiFi! *glances around* Oh, hey PK. Match time already? How long was I on this thing? Man, the adverts are right, once you pop, you really can't stop. ZACK No, Peter's ju... LEON Oh no, wait, that's Pringles. Actually, now that I mention it, I'm glad you're here PeeKster, because judging by the clock on my state of the art PSP, you're right on time. Not that I want to steal your thunder, Candie, but you're not the only one around here with bombshells to drop. And what I mean by that is, I've got an announcement to make. Peter, Zack, camera-man hidden behind that potplant in the corner...it's my pleasure to tell you all...I'M THE FATHER OF CANDIE'S BABY! ZACK KNIGHT CANDIE RODEZ ...KIDDING! No, unfortunately, due to my winkwink, nudgenudge, snipsnip, if I were to have sex with Candie there'd be absolutely no physical evidence whatsoever. Well...not anything growing inside her, anyway. A deep growl fills the room, as Candie glares a hole through Rodez. RODEZ But, my announcement is related to that. Vaguely. Seeing as you're the closest thing to family that I have in the OAOAST, I wanted you to be the first to know... ZACK What about your sister? RODEZ Huh? Oh, yeah, her. *slaps forehead* Ah well, she'll probably hear about it eventually. Anyway, on with the announcement. You know, being an ex-pornstar isn't all it's cracked up to be. Certain women consider it a 'reputation'. Ironic, considering half of them actually own one of my videos. But hey, bitches be trippin'. You might have noticed I haven't really had any lady friends around recently. Sure, I've had sex. And, HOW! Like, that one time when we were in Miami? Ho, boy, everything they say about models being desperate to be noticed? All. True. There was this one named 'Ferrari'. Cute name. She went like one two, if you catch my drif... CANDIE Do we really need to hear about this? RODEZ Oh, sorry. Carried away for a moment. Anyway, what I'm getting to is, there hasn't been anything you'd call 'serious'. Being a wrestler sucks when it comes to relationships. On the road 24/7, away from your family. That's why it's best to knock up one of your valets first chance to get, eh Zackster? The deep growl fills the room again. RODEZ But, that's all changed, because I've met someone. She's hot, energetic, charismatic. And, she's standing right behind that door... ... Eventually, Zack gets the picture and asks if he should open the door, which apparantly he should. So, with a shrug, Zack walks across the room towards the door. Already, the smile on Rodez's face is a mile wide, as Zack turns the door handle slowly, creating a little dramatic build-up, before opening the door, to reveal...A WATER COOLER~! WATER COOLER *bubbles* CANDIE She's charismatic alright. KNIGHT Hey, how come that wasn't there when I walked in? RODEZ It is not for us to ask questions, my child. No, no, that's not her, obviously. I'm not even sure if inanimate objects CAN be shes. But, that's neither here nor there. The clock on my state of the art, gaming system, the Playstation Portable, available in stores nationwide, must be a little slow, that's all. Rodez curiously leaves the locker room and glances around the hallway outside. To be honest, the threesome behind him could probably care less if it WAS the water cooler. But, they continue to wait and watch, if only to humour Rodez. Eventually, he does return though, apparantly dragging someone by the arm. RODEZ Lady and gentlemen, I give to you my girlfriend...ALIX MARIA SPEZIA! ZACK Oh...God. ALIX I met him in the Shack down in Grand Rapids Where you drink champagne and it tastes just like cherry cola! C - O - L - A, CO - LA! He walked up to me and he asked me to dance I asked him his name and in a dark brown voice, he said Leon! L - O - L - A, LE - ON! Lee lee lee lee Lola! Cue AIRGUITAR~! from Alix, to rapturous applause from Lol...I mean, Leon...and mass confusion from Knight, Zack and Candie. Zack's jaw is almost on the floor infact. KNIGHT Ok then. You know, I'd love to stay and have to deal with the migrane I feel coming on, but I got a meeting with someone. See you guys next week. Knight leaves just as Alix finishes up the Garcia-esque solo. ALIX Bye, Big Kev! Say hi to Scott while you're out! Tell him Krista said thanks for letting her borrow his gimmick! Wow! Wasn't my song good, wasn't that great? Huh? Wasn't it? Do I smell Grammy? No, Candie just cut the cheese. Very unladylike Mademosielle..uh do you even have a last name? I know it's not Malibu, because there ain't no ring on your finger. What's up with that, Zack Attack? Not marriage material,eh. I don't blame ya. I'm marriage material. I'm a keeper! My shirt even says so. Actually it says "Yes, they're real." The doctor assured me this was real silicone. Candie's shirt says "I'm a stank ass diseased little whore princess who was cheating on you with Drek Stone until he got smart and left the company, now I'm stuck with your no good played out ass and I have to pretend that his kid is yours. XOXO Candie." Actually it doesn't say that, because all that wouldn't fit on a shirt. But that's what's implied. Get a DNA test, Zackie, because this chick packs more nuts then Planters. What about my song? Didn't I sound awesome? Didn't I totally put the entire US Billboard chart to shame? RODEZ Yeah, you looked great. So, who's going to be first to congratulate us? Leon turns around and for the first time, sees the looks of shock and horror on his friends faces. But he mistakes it for them just being overwhelmed and doesn't give it a second thought. Instead, he continues to wait for congratulations. He might be waiting a while though. ZACK Her? RODEZ Yeah! ZACK You're dating...HER? RODEZ Yeah! ZACK Oh, no. No no no no. No. This is all a horrible, horrible dream. RODEZ Yes, I know it all seems like a dream. But quit pinching yourself buddy, because it's true! Me and Alix are an item. A hot, sweaty, item. And the best thing is, she has a 'Z' in her name! So we can consider renaming ourselves The Z Squad a little more seriously. Of course, that'd mean you dumping Candie. But we all have to make sacrifices in life, don't we? Horrified, Zack sits down next to Candie, in need of reassurance that his brain isn't melting. ALIX Zackie, aren't you going to sing to me? I sung for you. Though, not specifically for you. The thought was there though, honest. Z - A - C - K ZA - ACK! There. Are you happy now? Aren't you going to sing? SINCE U'VE BEEN GONE, I CAN BREATHE FOR THE FIRST TIME! BLAHBLAHBLAHBLAAAAH! *wipes a tear away* Such an emotional song. Those lyrics speak to me in a deep and meaningful way. I can certainly see why she won such a prestigious, made for TV talent show. I won a talent show once. Well, technically, I didn't 'win' win. But personally, I think if you're determined enough to ignore that fact the building is on fire because you dropped one of your flaming juggling clubs and steal the trophy while everyone was running around screaming, then that makes you a winner. Why don't you stalk me anymore, Zack? You used to enjoy it so much. Am I not good enough anymore? Have you found a new iconity of womanhood to lust over? Are you going to name your kid Kelly instead of Alix Maria Spezia The Second now? Bummer. It's good that we can pretend all those times you tried to cripple me never happened, dontcha think? I do. Hey, this is kinda like The Breakfast Club with all these people here. Now that we're all friends, you and Krista can swap parenting tips. You could even swap children! I doubt Krista would mind. She tried swapping her's for a roll-on deodorant last week, but WalMart said they wouldn't take part-exchange. ZACK AAAAAAH! RODEZ (whispering) Don't worry, you'll get used to it... ZACK I don't WANT to get used to it! I want her out of here! OUT OUT OUT! ALIX Ooh, that reminds me, I have a match tonight! Lee-lee, do you wanna walk me to the curtains that may or may not be sliding doors? I forget which. RODEZ Sure thing. Hey, maybe we'll find a broom cupboard on the way, eh? ALIX Hmm...would me using a broom as a weapon be sexist? Krista says I already set women's lib back 40 years as it is. I wouldn't want to annoy the butch lesbians of the world anymore. They wear Doc Martens. Which hurt. RODEZ No, I meant...*whispers in Alix's ear* ALIX *smiles* Ooooohhhh. That sounds fun too. Although, I don't know if a broom would fit that far. Zack cringes. ALIX No harm in trying I guess. Toodles Zack! Toodles Candie! Toodles as-yet-unnamed fetus! With a quick peck on the cheek, Rodez and Alix lock arms and skip off like something out of a Wizard Of Oz hallucination. The room is finally peaceful again as they leave, allowing Zack to take a deep sigh and collapse next to Candie again in despair. CANDIE I think I preferred the water cooler. Back to Sofa Central we go. COACH Oh man, I don't think I want to know the kind of children those two would have. COLE I'm actually more interested in who Peter Knight was meeting. Since I won Josh as a personal slave in our poker game Tuesday night, he'll sniff around and find out more on this. *dun dun* *dun dun* *dun dun* *dun dun* WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ARRRRRRRRRRRE YOU? WHO WHO, WHO WHO! WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ARRRRRRRRRRRE YOU? WHO WHO, WHO WHO! BUFFER The following is a first-round matchup in the tournament to crown the first-ever OAOAST Six-man tag team champions! Making their way to the ring first, accompanied by their manager, Rick Heyross...at a total combined weight of 859 pounds...representing STEVENS/HEYROSS INCORPORATED, the team of JUMBOOOOO, JAY RICHARDS, and the OAOAST Heartland champion, CHRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSTEVENNNNNNNNNNNNSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!! COLE A little more on the line in this matchup, Coach! As we know from last week, Alf will get a rematch against Chris Stevens for the Heartland title, and whichever one of their teams wins this first round matchup, they get to pick what type of match it will be! God of Thunder hits and Thunderkid and Reject come down the aisle to a nice ovation. BUFFER Their opponents weigh in at a total combined weight of 722 pounds...introducing first, the team of THHHHHHHHHHUNDERKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIID and RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREJECT!!!!! TK and Reject stop at the end of the aisle at ringside, and Magnum Opus: Father Padilla Meets the Perfect Gnat/Howling at the Moon hits and the crowd roars as Alfdogg comes through the curtain and makes a mad dash towards the ring. BUFFER And their partner...weighing in at two hundred... Buffer quickly drops the mike and dives out of the ring as all six men brawl in the ring! *DING DING DING* TK trades blows with Jumbo in the corner, as Stevens and Richards are clotheslined from the ring on opposite sides by Reject and Alf, respectively! Reject kicks Jumbo in the head from behind, then Reject, TK and Alf all go to the opposite corner and wait for Jumbo to come out. When Jumbo comes out, Reject and TK grab Alf in a headlock and drive him into Jumbo in a battering ram! Jumbo rolls to the outside as Richards comes in from behind Alf, but Alf blocks a right hand and gives him a foot to the gut. TK then picks up Reject in suplex position, and sets his legs on Richards' shoulders, then spins him around, and Richards is taken over the top! COLE Time to regroup for the S.H.I., as Alf's team comes out firing early! Reject awaits in the ring, as Jay Richards rolls in. Richards ties up with Reject, and gets caught in a headlock. He pushes Reject off into the ropes, then leapfrogs him on the way back and drops down for a reverse monkey flip, but Reject puts the brakes on and drops a fist! Richards gets up holding his face as Reject fires off kicks to the quadriceps, then delivers a spinkick, sending him down! Reject wrenches the arm and pulls him over to his corner, tagging in TK. TK hammers on the arm, then whips him to the ropes and hits a big clothesline! TK picks him up and PRESSES HIM OVERHEAD, then slams him down to the mat! COACH Great power shown by TK, with a big press slam to Jay Richards right there! Richards crawls to a neutral corner, where TK picks him up and drives knees to the abdomen. TK then tags Reject back in and picks up Richards in a hangman's hold. COACH Oh no, here's that big kick! Reject measures, and drives a HUGE roundhouse kick to the midsection of Richards! COACH WOW, I felt that one, what about you, Cole? COLE I sure did, but nobody like Jay Richards is right now, look at him gasping for air! Reject wrenches the arm of Richards, and delivers a back kick to the chin, sending him to the mat! Reject follows up with ROLLING THUNDER~! and a cover... 1... 2...... Kickout! Alf gets tagged in, much to the delight of the crowd, and delivers a snap suplex, then a snap legdrop! Cover... 1... 2........ Kickout! COLE Quick tags in and out, Alf's team doing all the right things right now! And there's another one! TK is tagged in after Alf delivers a back suplex. TK goes to the ropes, but takes a forearm to the back from Stevens, and turns around and clotheslines him off the apron! Jumbo is already out on the floor, however, and trips up TK, and drags him groin-first into the ringpost! COACH Well, that'll turn the tide of ANY match, I don't care who you are! COLE Thunderkid in tremendous pain now after getting caught in the wrong corner, and the tide has indeed turned here. Richards quickly tags out to Jumbo, who pulls TK out to the center of the ring, and comes off the ropes with an elbow! He stays in that position for the cover... 1... 2...... Kickout! COLE Very non-chelant cover by Jumbo there. Jumbo slams TK with ease, then tags in Chris Stevens. Stevens drops a big knee to the sternum, then covers... 1... 2..... Kickout! Stevens delivers a couple stomps, then goes to the top rope...and hits a MISSILE DROPKICK! Cover... 1.... 2....... TK kicks out again! Stevens slams him down, and tags Jumbo back in. Jumbo goes to the top turnbuckle! COLE Jumbo going up, all 440 pounds... Jumbo leaps off for a splash, but misses as TK rolls out of the way! TK inches over to the corner and tags Alf! Alf quickly comes in and drives double axehandles to Jumbo, who is on all fours! Alf then runs to the ropes, and comes back with a short dropkick to the head! Alf then tags Reject, who springboards to the top rope and comes off with a legdrop to the back of Jumbo! Reject covers... 1.. 2...... NO!!! Stevens makes the save! Alf jumps in and knocks Stevens to the floor, and they brawl in the aisleway! As they go at it, TK comes off the top, but is caught by Jumbo in a powerslam! Jumbo then tags in Richards, who waits on TK to get up...and goes for the CROSSFACE CHICKEN WING~!!!!!11111 TK grabs onto the ropes, and Reject tags himself in as Richards pulls him away! Before Richards can lock it in, TK powers out, and Richards runs right into the EULOGY~!!!!!11111 from Reject! COLE THERE'S THE EULOGY! Cover... 1....... 2.............. 3!!!!!!!!!!!! *DING DING DING* COACH Oh, no. COLE And Alf's team has advanced! And not only that, but Alf gets to pick the stips for his rematch! BUFFER The winners of the contest...the team of ALFDOGG, THUNDERKID, and RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEJEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECT!!!!! Alf rams Stevens into the guardrail, and heads for the ring. He grabs a mike. ALF Hey Chris, guess what...YOU LOSE! *crowd cheers* ALF Just like you're going to lose in ten days at Climax, when you defend the Heartland championship against yours truly...in a CHRISTMAS DEATH MATCH! *crowd EXPLODES* COLE Oh my GOD. A Christmas Deathmatch for the Heartland championship! Look at the look on the face of Chris Stevens! Alf smiles in the ring as Stevens has a shocked look on his face in the aisleway as we fade to a break. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted December 9, 2005 (edited) COLE Welcome back. Up next is the monster known simply as "The Shark"...Julie Sharcor. She's been on a red-hot streak in the OAOAST since debuting, as she's totally undefeated in singles bouts. There has been an over-riding criticism about Julie though, as all of her singles bouts so far in the OAOAST have been against those who are obviously not on a top competitive tier. COACH Those criticisms have obviously gotten in the head of Sharcor, as I speak over this clip from the big Torneo Cibernetica from November Reign... (Cue clip of Sharcor snapping after her elimination and choking out the referee) COACH She was doing very well for herself in what has to be considered as, talent-wise, one of the most competitive bouts of the year. Then, she got screwed into a DQ elimination and, looking like she's feeling the pressure, went ballistic. COLE She let her animalistic instincts take over, and ended up racking up a $750 fine over it! (Cut backstage, where Julie Sharcor is preparing for her match, doing Hindu squats. All of a sudden, Ayane Mitsui walks right up to her. AYANE Hey...hey! (shoves Julie's shoulder, but Julie continues to ignore her and continue with her squats) I know you're listening even though you're pretending not to...listen, we're both fighters from other worlds, two of the most disciplined competitors in the locker room...or, at least I THOUGHT you were. After the Cibernetica and your little incident with that referee, I'm not so sure... (Sharcor stands straight up, looks down at Ayane, and walks off.. The camera turns to Ayane, looking on in a perturbed manner.) (Cut to wide shot of ring, as we see an enhancement talent entering the ring...) BUFFER The following is set for one fall with a TEN minute time limit! Introducing first, wearing the red with black trim...from Leeds, England...Missy Gordon! (Cut to a tight shot of the entrance, as Julie "The Shark" Sharcor storms out of it. She doesn't waste time standing at the entrance ramp and stomps right down ringside, climbing into the ring quickly and going right to her corner.) BUFFER Her opponent, from San Diego, California and weighing in at 197 pounds...the UNDEFEATED Julie "The Shark" SHAAAAARCOR! ::BELL RINGS:: Sharcor bends down to adjust her left boot, as Missy Gordon charges at her. But, Julie pops back up and hits an AWESOME STJoe (lifted STO in corner), throwing Missy down on the back of her neck! The crowd, lukewarm to Sharcor at first, reacts huge to that! Missy's on her stomach, as Sharcor sits down on Gordon's back, lifts her head up, and applies the Dragon Clutch (dragon sleeper variation of the camel clutch)! Sharcor cranks back on it...and Missy immediately taps OUT! ::BELL RINGS:: BUFFER Your winner...Julie "The Shark" SHARCOOOOOOR! We have a problem in the ring! Sharcor refuses to let go of the Dragon Clutch! A sea of officials swarm ringside in an attempt to break this up! As they enter the ring and attempt to manually pull Julie off, they find that they aren't strong enough to do so. Suddenly, Ayane Mitsui appears at the entrance ramp, surveying this scene. Sharcor sees her...and lets go of the hold. Sharcor and Ayake just stare at one another, before Ayake walks back to the locker room. COLE This is getting a little interesting... Sharcor overlooks the damage she's left in the ring, then walks out. COACH Another quick destruction by "The Shark", but this time, it ends with a twist...what's up with Ayane & "The Shark"? COLE Ah, forget about that. Let's spy on Krista during a personal moment! (We go backstage, where Krista is chatting on her cellphone with her daughter Maya.) KRISTA Maya, calm down. What? What?! What do you mean you got a zero out of ten? That's no points. None. They give you at least a point for writing your name correct. Two for giving the date...no sweetie, mommy's not mad at you. Mommy's mad at the teacher. The teacher. Does she know how much money I donate to that school? They should name a wing of the gym after me if not the whole school. Why did you fail....You said that the reason leaves fall from trees is that they jump off before birds can eat them? Who told you that? Aunt Alix? Auntie Alix? Sweetie, you're old enough now that I can finally tell you this. Auntie Alix is a moron. When Auntie Alix is at a loss for words, we're all at a gain. You know how they teach you to say no to drugs and sign pledge cards? Well, Aunt Alix never signed her's. You have the three R's at school. Reading, Riting, Rithmetic? Auntie Alix has her three S's. Snorting, Sniffing, Smoking. And she has snorted, sniffed, and smoked, herself half retarded. Yes, like Igor. But we still love Auntie Alix, right? Good. Who told you liquor is a drug? Don't listen to her. Ever. Liquor isn't a drug, honey. Remember how much you loved your bottle? Mommy loves her grown-up bottle just as much. Oh, sweetie, don't listen to your classmates. They're just jealous their mommies and daddies aren't half as successful as your mommy, isn't that right? (in baby voice) Yes. Yes it is. What's that? No, you don't have to call him Uncle Leon. They'll break up in a month anyway. No, they're adult movies, honey. (The camera catches two shirtless men, who might be the most devilishly handsome guys ever seen on OAOAST television, walking down the hallway. As the pair, clad in low rise Hollister jeans, pass by the women in the hallway, jaws hit the floor and passions arise. Never have the astonished ladies' eyes feasted on such glorious bodies. The men give each woman they pass a nod and sexy wink. Half of the females faint, consumed with a blazing lust for these beautiful strangers. The two knock outs stop at Krista Isadora Duncan's spot. Krista is simply stunned by these angels of beauty.) KRISTA Wow! Uh........Huh? Nothing, baby. Uh, mommy's gotta go. Mommy has some stalkers she needs to mase. Give the doggie a kiss, not a real one because he has germs. Bye. (She hangs up the phone. KID starts rummaging through her purse her hands looking for the mase, but her eyes never leaving the two guys.) KRISTA Umm....I'm out of mase. Can you just roll around on the floor like I did spray you? GUY 1 Woah, we aren't stalkers! We're the Sk8er Boiz. Marv and Mel! We made Weekend at Neddy's for you and Alix. Remember? It won an Emmy and it's getting turned into a Broadway musical starring Liza Minnelli in the lead role. KRISTA The Sk8er Boiz? Heh. Those guys are, well, they aren't exactly a sight for sore eyes. To be honest, they aren't a sight for any eyes. They kind of took a nasty drop from the ugly tree and hit a few of the branches on the way down. (smacks forehead) Stupid me. Now I get it. The OAOAST recast the roles of the Sk8ter Boiz. Cal fired the two who were playing them before, and hired newer better looking ones. That's smart. Ask Calvin if he can hire another carpetmuncher, preferably a ditzy brunette who won't sell you out for a chance to bone the gangbang king of the OAOAST, because I could use one. MARV No, no, no. We're the same two guys! Swear to god. I know how we looked before. We were so ugly, that when I got hit by a car, they called the vet. People used to call us the Casper twins, we were so pale. When Mel slipped on a candy wrapper in the arena at WWE, Jamie O'Hara walked by and said “Oh shit, who spilled the milk!” We were so skinny, your friend Alix wanted to call in Sally Struthers for a telethon for us. At the company's summer picnic, when it was windy, Simon Singleton had to tie us to a tree so we wouldn't blow away. MEL We knew we needed to turn our life around. And we did. We moved out of Mama Nerdly's attic, and down to the sun bathed beaches of SoCal. We trained at the gym, got buff, and if my first name was Marcus and not Melvin, I'd say we are the stuff. And we're here to say thanks to the woman who made it possible. KRISTA (turning her head around) Where is she? I'll give you the massage...damn it...I mean give her the message. Holy shit. MARV We're looking at her! KRISTA (still turning her head around) I don't see her. It isn't healthy for boys your age to have imaginary friends. Wait. Y-Y-You mean me? Me? What did I do? MARV We had your FIT with KID tapes in our room forever. And they're the only thing we took with us when we moved down from Canada. It turns out they're more then just an excuse to burn through a bottle of baby oil and a box of tissues! They're actually good at getting us in shape. Once we were finished with the tapes we joined your gym in Santa Monica. Mel had to sell a kidney to cover the membership fees, but it was worth it! KRISTA (snapped out of her day dream of the Sk8er Boiz) Gym? Oh, yeah, right. Right, right. MEL And we hit the weights even harder then we hit the boards. Now we're hitting all the hot broads. From the front to the back, back to the front. MARV Before we couldn't even get a date off a calendar. Now thanks to you, we aren't gonna die virgins! MARV & MEL (jumping high five) Yes! MEL Look at us, man..er woman. You've changed our life. No longer do I don't spend my Friday nights wondering if the girl I'm trying to cyber with is really a girl at all. No longer is my most used pick up line “A/S/L”. No longer am I cock blocked by 404 errors. No longer does my only up close and personal experience with the female genitalia consist of pressing the zoom button on my DVD remote. Real life, flesh and blood babes are all over this hot boy! I'd beat 'em away with a stick, but then I might get sued for assault and battery. MARV We even got stopped by the cops walking down the street. They thought we were carrying firearms in our pants. KRISTA MEL (getting very excited, almost foaming at the mouth) It's getting to the point where I can't plant my wheels without having to ollie over some hot piece of jail bait trying to jump my bones. Our babe quotient has increased to the 69th power, because I'm doing these girls 69 ways! I have a redhead for breakfast, a blonde for lunch and Marv and I split a sensible brunette for dinner.. (Marv elbows Mel in the side) MEL I'm so sorry. I got excited for a bit. Being a hottie is kind of new to me. I forgot who I was talking to. KRISTA (Waving them off) It's okay. Um, well, you're hot...I mean you're welcome. You look...uh..yeah..um..what's that word? Starts with a g. MEL Good? KRISTA I was thinking gorgeous. Wow. You make me almost wish I could rescind my GLAAD membership. MARV Every night we've got chicks willing to give us an up close and hands on view of what it's like to come out of the womb again. But, you're like our mother. You've given birth to us, the new Mel and Marv. Pardon me if this is too forward, but can we give you a hug? KRISTA (feigning apathy, and failing horribly at it) I mean I don't know, that's kind of inappropriate...it wouldn't be.... MARV You're right. I'm sorry, that was too bold of me. I apolo.. KRISTA No! Shut-up and hug me! (Krista grabs the muscular hunks and hauls them together for one big hug.) KRISTA This doesn't make me a sellout. Right? If I squint real hard, you kinda look like girls. (The embrace lasts for a good two minutes before Marv finally says..) MARV Uh, maybe we should go... KRISTA Huh? It's a two hour show, nothings happening, you won't miss anything. Do you like kids? I have a kid. I have a Lexus also. And a condo in West Hollywood, and a beach front house in Malibu. You can have the house in Malibu. I can buy another one. (From one COD member, we go to a match involving the less insane half of the team. Yes folks, it's a DOUBLE SERVING OF PATTY (W/CHEESE)!) The opening piano chords of Eminem's thoughtful coming of age tune Lose Yourself pour from the speakers. As Shady's heartfelt preamble comes to a close and the bombastic bass fills the arena, the entrance doors slide open, letting the youngest Upstart, Jamie O'Hara enter the arena floor. Clad in a white do-rag, matching vest top and Nike track pants, O'Hara stands on top of the stage engaging in a bit of thuggish posturing. The camera man gets in close to him, providing the fame hungry star a chance to talk a fair share of smack to the viewing audience. While all this is happening Coach does the Dave Chapelle 8-Mile “Spaghetti! Spaghetti! Spaghetti!” bit. Die, Coach. Thank you. COLE Folks, the OAOAST, in an effort to provide you with the highest quality wrestling in the world, has been trying to get a match booked between The Global Party Xchange and Los Diablos De Fuego. Unfortunately, GPX has been reluctant to sign the contract. Word has it that Christian Wright has advised them they have nothing to gain from the matchup and everything to lose. This is truly a disservice to you the fans at home as well as Los Diablos De Fuego. However GPX have accepted COD's challenge to a match at Climax. Which leads one to think that the only reason they're ducking Los Diablos is because of the sexual preference of the two men. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall with a television time limit of forty minutes. Now making his way from Birmingham, England, weighing one hundred seventy pounds, representing the Upstarts, he is JAMIE “THE BIRMINGHAM BAD BOY” O'HARAAAAAAAAA!” “BOOOOOOOOOOO!” goes the crowd, apparently not feeling a patriotic desire to cheer their countryman! The detested heel drops to his knees and throws his arms toward the heaven's above at the exact moment his name is announced. The crowd continues to jeer him as she cockily struts down to the ring. Jamie enters the squared circle, rapping along with his music, feigning indifference to the disrespect shown him by his home country. He scales to the top rope, and puff's out his chest, smashing his index and middle fingers against his pectorals. COLE Lask week, Jamie O'Hara and The Global Party Xchange got bounced in the first round of the six man title tourney. I don't know what The Upstarts vision really is, but no stable that wants to get taken seriously has their top members lose in the first round of any tournament. The moment Lose Yourself fades from our earlobes, the arena becomes a darkened abyss. The opening guitar strands of pop sensation Lindsay Lohan's cover of Edge of Seventeen play, as a gorgeous red pyro fountain springs forth from the stage. It meets with an equally lovely pink pyro waterfall, cascading from the ceiling. As the drum roll of the song kicks up, both the pyrotechnics dissipate, replaced by a booming gold explosion that engulfs the entire stage, and sets the camera man on fire. CABOOSE I never got an entrance like that. Through the mass of smoke and swirling pink and blue spotlights, steps Alix Spezia. The fans give her a grand ovation, as she rocks her body back and forth to her high energy theme music. BUFFER And her opponent...from the city of angels Los Angeles, California....she weighs in at an undisclosed weight, she is a former OAOAST tag team champion, the 2004 OAOAST babe of the year, has a career won loss record of 27 wins and six losses, she is ALIX MARIA SPEEZZZZZIAAAAA! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” As Alix walks down the ring, she blows a kiss at the camera, and adorable super imposed lips appear on your screen. Awwwww! COLE I don't have the word power or the time to properly describe Alix Spezia. But she's not only amazingly popular with the fans, she's become very popular with her fellow wrestlers. Los Diablos De Fuego look up to her like a big sister, and well, as we just saw she's now an item with Leon Rodez! I'm sure Krista is furious. COACH Alix doesn't need some broke ass Boogie Nights wannabe comedian like Leon Rodez hitting that sweet shit. She needs a straight up G, like Mister C. Me. Who, outside of a couple pud pulling perverts living in their mom's basements, know who Leon Rodez is? No one. Everybody knows Da Coach. I'm a legend. Baby girl, get with me. Get on the Coach's team. Another sister gone to waste. Not a literal sister, but you get the point. Damn shame. CABOOSE With Nick and Jessica gone the way of the dinosaur, Alix and Leon seek to fill that “Lucy/Desi” celebrity couple void. The only problem is Nick was smart. Leon's and idiot to. Just less of an idiot then Alix. Clad in tye died hot pants and matching tube top, the glowing superstar slides into the ring. Paying no attention to Jamie O'Hara, she makes a bee line for the top rope. She tosses a peace sign into the air, while her enormous fan base mimics the gesture. COLE The first ever meeting between Jamie O'Hara and Alix Spezia is about to get underway! DING DING The two lightweights circle each other, neither one willing to make the first move out of fear of making the first and possibly fatal mistake. After several seconds worth of stalling and circling, Alix, like the crowd, grows weary of the pointless inaction. Thus she shoots in for a lockup. Jamie was more then content to do nothing but to play a two person game of ring around the rosey. As such he is a little alarmed to have the brunette locking horns with him. As they tussle like young puppies in a pet shop, he tries to pull her off her game with a mix of pick up lines and flat out insults. These comments do nothing to deter Alix, as she goes behind him and hits the waistlock. The fans start cheering loudly, which leads a perturbed Alix to say, “Oh my god, it's just a waistlock, for Pete's sake! Quit cheering, you freaking dorks!” Dragon Suplex, German Suplex, Rolling German Suplex, Bridging Dragon Suplex, Bridging German Suplex, Rolling German Suplex into a bridging dragon suplex where a real life dragon eats your juicy brain meat afterwards. Images of these horribly painful holds speed through Jamie's teeny tiny mind. They cause him enough worry and stress to turn his sandy blonde hair gray. Wishing to preserve his good health now, so he can kill it with drugs, booze and transexual hookers later in life, Jamie juts his body forward, bending his knees. He grabs his confused rival's arm, pulls it forward and breaks her hold. He spins in front of her, then promptly takes her down with a blink and you miss it arm drag into an arm lock! Not wasting a single moment of his precious time, he floats on top of the perky Californian. Alix doesn't like it when the dude's on top, so she rolls onto her stomach, neutralizing Jamie's advantage. O'Hara is visibly upset and cusses up a storm! With his arm lock still applied he lies across her body, so that his scrawny chest rests on her upper back. I have no idea what he's going to do, the crowd has no idea what he's going to do, and he probably has no idea what he's going to do. We'll never even get an answer to this great mystery as Alix shoots out in front of him. To his rapidly rising frustration, she starts to rise. Luckily for him, his arm lock has yet to perish, thus he's able to maintain some control, and keeps her bent over. That isn't an enviable position for O'hara as Alix slides her head underneath his crotch, then uses her strength to stand up and fling him overhead! The airborne thug gets launched out of the ring, as flashes from camera phones ornament the arena! So agile and so quick, O'Hara manages to avoid certain doom and land on the ring apron. “How ya'll like that dope shit?” He asks a group of fans in the front row. The fans are Japanese and can not understand him. COLE Jamie is a great talent, no question. But his choice of company and attitude leave a lot to be desired. Alix doesn't like that fly shit very much at all. Miss Spezia charges him, but Jamie has this well scouted and ducks down for a shoulder block! However Alix's scouting report is even better then his, as she sticks out her bare knee and connects squarely with his acne riddled face! “OOOOOOH!” goes the audience after Al's concussion inducing move. “YEEEEOOOOOOUCH!” goes Jamie, now wishing he'd held out during contract negotiations for health insurance. A look of delight plays on Alix's cute face as her brain's seemed to come up with a particularly nasty move to unleash on Jamie. Ally Cat hits the ropes to get a running start. She comes back to her younger foe, front flips overhead, taking herself out of the ring, grabs the side of his waist on her descent, and tries to overtake him with a sunset flip powerbomb to the outside floor! The fans are set to erupt with a rousing chant of holy shit, however Jamie stifles such noise by holding onto the top rope for dear life! If he hadn't, the janitorial staff would soon be sweeping up his remains. The exact second he senses Alix's grip weaken, O'Hara lets go of the rope. SuperJay takes to the friendly skies and comes down on Alix's face with a savage leg drop! Some of the more squeamish fans have to turn away as Alix crumples to the mat like a wadded up newspaper. Jamie lies exhausted on the ring apron, heart thumping a billion miles a minute, head still smarting from her knee drive. COACH Alix, Mister C is gonna love you right. He knows how to please his woman. Leon Rodez, to him sex is just a business. Sex is Coach's religion, and babygirl, I wanna worship you at the altar. Mighty proud of himself, O'Hara slides into the ring, stands up, and begins a round of overhead clapping in hopes of gaining some home country support from the cynical Londoners. Better luck next time, buddy! Not a soul in the building is buying what the youngster is selling. Dejected, he does a pitiful slow clap down, and puts on a puppydog face, before turning irate and telling the crowd “Forget ya'll! I don't need you!” He seeks to take his anger at the fans out on one of their favorite wrestlers, and he's in the prefect position to do just that. To build up speed he runs the ropes, then leaps over them. He tears through the air like a majestic, foul mouthed, hairless, gazelle! Extending his body into a full swanton bomb he erases all of Alix's painstakingly achieved efforts to recover, by flooring her with his beautiful but deathly move! Not even bothering to sell an attack that just saw him fly fifteen feet into the air then land on solid concrete, Jamie kips up, and immediately talks crazy smack into the camera. “You know how Ahhhhhhh do! You can't stop the J-OH! Smell me?” He gets so close to the camera you can see every last blemish and pimple on his youthful face. After his trash talk session draws to a finale, Jamie grabs Alix by the seat of her pants, nearly giving her a wedgie, and lifts her up. He slides her into the ring, then follows her in. Upon rising to his feet he puts the boots to her back, taking pleasure at her agonized whimpers. Alix digs her nails deep into the mat, trying to do anything to cope with the pain his stomps are putting her under. To her, it almost feels like her back is being pounded repeatedly with a sledge hammer. CABOOSE The Upstarts need a win against anybody, because momentum is not in their favor. GPX is jobbing left and right. Wright got beat by Krista, and Stephen Joseph has to turn to cheap shotting me and Cole like a sissy little punk. Some stable you have, Coach. Jamie hauls her upright, and unloads a series of chops to her chest. Each strike sends her wobbling in all different directions. O'Hara stays with her, and gives her such a violent whip to the corner that he falls onto his not so ripped stomach after letting her go. He stands up and runs in after her, with hopes of landing a corner clothesline! Yet Alix has another plan in mind, and refuses to cooperate. She hops onto the second turnbuckle, facing away from her inexperienced counterpart. She flashes her beauty pageant smile at the crowd then shoots her limber body backward as if she was going for a cross body block! Ally crooks her arm around his noggin, twirls both their bodies around, and scrambles his brain like an egg with a DDT! “ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!” chant the wowed fans. “That's my name, don't wear it out!” She responds as she drops down for a cover. 1 2 Jamie shoots his shoulder up, showing no class by giving the crowd the middle finger as he does so. This rude gesture draws a heated round of boos. COLE This kid makes me sick. Is this the kind of disrespect to the business and the fans we can expect if the Upstarts take over? Alix stands up slowly, stricken with anger over not getting a proper three count. She watches Jamie rise to a sitting position, and decides her next maneuver should be one that sends him to early retirement. “COME ON, BARBIE! LET'S GO PARTY!” she screams to the roaring fans before running to the ropes. Snarling at an opponent who can't even see her, she leaps up, extends her legs forward and annihilates his skull with a devastating reverse enziguri! Now standing, Ally cat does her best GNR impression by doing a little head banging and air guitaring to celebrate her highlight reel worthy strike. The conceited Upstart hotdogger is sprawled out on the mat, oblivious to the freight train that just ran him down. In an impressive display of gymnastic ability the super cute diva hits Jamie with a corkscrew shooting star press! Into a pin of course. CROWD 1 CROWD 2 KICK OUT! Disheveled Jamie rolls to his feet, and fends Alix off with three quick jabs to her exposed stomach. Although they probably couldn't hurt the common fruit fly, they do force the native of Los Angeles into keeping her distance. The Birmingham Bad Boy shoots his body in front of Alix's so his back faces her chest. He drops to his knees, hooking his skinny arm around her head. You don't have to be Bill Apter to know that O'Hara would've been best served by softening her up more, as Alix considers this hold nothing more then a minor annoyance. Tickling her huge fanbase with glee, she does a breathtaking front flip out O'Hara's hold as he tries a headlock takedown. Spezia runs the ropes and comes back with an unconventional and absolutely barbaric knife edge chop! Beads of sweat go flying off Jamie's chest, that's beaten so red that those in the far rows might be tricked into thinking he's wearing a red shirt. She hops horizontally onto O'Hara's less then broad shoulders for a modified tornado ddt. But, SuperJay has the requisite wrestling know how to turn this negative into a positive. Thus he hits Alix with a death valley driver, that shakes every inch of the ring upon impact! Jamie stands up, leans over the ropes nearest Sofa Central, and does some call and response with his biggest fan, Da Coach! JAMIE Can Ah have it like that? COACH (standing) You got it like that! JAMIE Can Ah have it like that? COACH (standing) You got it like that! After ending his cheer leading with the commentator, the hip-hopping Englishman drags a groggy Alix to her feet, and drags her into a front face lock. Taunting the fans, he throws his middle finger into the sky, before doing the same to Alix. O'Hara delays a suplex, in an effort to deplete Alix's energy and regain some of his. He finally drops backwards, agonizing her with a vertical suplex. That worked out so well, he figures he might as well go for the deuce. Thus he rolls his move, and foists her upwards. But now he meets wildly dissimilar results! She slips out the move, landing her sweaty back against his, and having an advantageous inverted face lock snapped on. Spezia spins their bodies around, putting them face to face. The quirky gal then spikes Jamie's oddly shaped mellon into the canvas with a DDT, knocking off his little do-rag as well! The fans cheer on Alix as she goes for a cover... CROWD 1 CROWD 2 UH-UH! Alix has had it up to here with all the near falls, and her rage clouds her best judgement. She runs the ropes, coming back without having a plan in mind. SuperJay sticks his feet up in the air, presenting Alix with two equally bad choices, run into them, or try to flip over them. She selects option two and he predictably turns her momentum against her, pressing his feet her into abdomen, then kicking them back. This causes her to go tumbling through the air and into the ropes! Alix has a horrid crash landing, her bare legs hitting the top rope, then pushing her backwards onto her spine on the ring floor. “AWWWW” say the crowd at the unfortunate landing. Alix stands up surprisingly quickly all things considered, but doesn't notice O'Hara zooming past her. The spot monkey jumps onto the third rope then flies back with what appears to be a lionsault! But the innovative superstar in one swift motion grabs her into an inverted face lock and drives the back of her head to the mat with a moonsault inverted DDT! An dark cloud of agony settles over Alix's head, raining misery all across her body. A few fans begrudgingly show Jamie his props, but the others pelt his ego with chants of “You suck! You suck!” COACH Let tell me you this right now, The Upstarts are bringing an actual change to the in-ring OAOAST product. What you get with us is fast paced, high flying action, from people like Jamie O'Hara and Alix Spezia. Jamie nails a moonsault elbow drop! He stands up and busts out some funky b-boy breakdancing moves, then hits a sweet shooting star leg drop. Still no one claps. Tough crowd. Figuring that winning the match is more important then garnering crowd support, Jamie lowers his body for the pinfall! But Alix shocks the hell out of him by rising upwards and dragging him down with an inside cradle! CROWD 1 CROWD 2 CROWD 3 The idiots in the stands counted way too fast because the referee signals that that was a clear two count. The fans reply to this decision with a heated round of “bullshit” chants. Both wrestler's rise to their feet at the same time, but it's Alix striking first with an Irish whip to the corner. Jamie does the customary “turn and hit the pads with your back”, leaving him open to taste whatever poisonous dish Alix is cooking. She runs to him, hops into the air and pushes her legs forward for some kind of hurricanrana attempt! The elusive Upstart moves out of the way! Alix is placed into a perilous spot, a sitting duck on the top turnbuckle. Not allowing his opportunity to slip away, the duck hunter speedily scales the top rope, then blasts Alix's face with a leaping side kick! This knocks her into a tree of woe position! The Londoners try to break out an Alix chant, but all the love and appreciation can't help her now. Jamie measures her, picks the perfect spot, then delivers a disgustingly stiff kick to the side of her head! As the sound of his foot meeting her head echoes throughout the arena, Alix slumps down to the mat, tears streaming out her eyes, and rolling down her cheek. “What's the matter? Ya can't take it? Poor baby!” Jamie taunts her. CABOOSE If he didn't waste so much time running his mouth, he could've won this match five minutes ago. His jeers seem to have revitalizing effect on the fallen superstar. Drawing strength from a deep rooted urge to prove him wrong, she springs up and begins to pepper him with stiff slaps to the face! Gobs of spit fly from his mouth, as Alix's turbulent blows push him all across the ring. The audience is loving watching their heroine give the villain his comeuppance! After about the twentieth slap, a red-faced Jamie plants a panicked knee into her midsection. The Birmingham Bad Boy grabs his bent over adversary into a double under hook, hauls her into the air and unleashes a sitout tiger driver! Into a pin! 1 2 KICK OUT Dazed to the point where she's actually having trouble remembering where she is, Alix sits up. O'Hara runs the ropes, thinking that his next move will be the one that seals the deal. He rebounds as fast as his little Rebook's can carry him, hoping to plant one of those sweatshop produced shoes into her face. However Alix counters by putting the toe of her shoe into his gut! Feeling the need to puke, O'Hara lumber backwards, and Alix hops to her feet! She sends him rolling into the corner with an awesome dropsault! The once deflated crowd picks their mood out of the gutter with chants of “ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!” Spurred on by the chanting, Spezia hits the cornered O'Hara with another dropsault, this time landing on her funky colored boots! She blows a kiss to a little boy in front the row holding an “I love Alix” sign, before catching a staggering Jamie with a fisherman's suplex! Into a bridge, baby! CROWD 1 CROWD 2 KICK OUT! “THAT WAS THREE! THAT WAS THREE! THAT WAS THREE!” Letting the crowd do the arguing for her, Alix brings J-OH to his feet by his stringy hair. She softens him up with two jabs to the breadbasket then whips him away. Apparently he's not as softened as she thought, as he reverses the move! O'Hara drops down and touches his toes, planning on having her leap frog him. But when the hippy-trippy honey returns, she turns around, then backflips over him. This puts him on the defensive, and he can't even see the woman he's defending against. Alix applies a sloppy full nelson, then drags him up for a full nelson slam! Unfortunately for her, he reveres it into an arm drag! Jamie gets on her case the minute she stands up, whipping her into the corner. She turns it around, launching him back first into the steel buckles! Alix follows him with a corner splash, but O'Hara is well prepared for her attack. He dips low and back body drops her over the ropes! Thankfully Alix is able to land her little boots squarely on the apron. Spezia sling shots herself back into the fray, getting O'Hara into a bulldog! But he shoves her off, saving himself from a nasty headache! As Alix turns around he levels her with a needlessly stiff lariat. COUNTERED into an even stiffer STO that leaves an imprint of O'Hara's body in the canvas! As that super sick move replays on TV's across the land, Alix is already setting up her next cringe worthy hold. She picks Jamie up, and keeps him dazed with a few elbows to the head. From there she drapes his arms across the top cable, facing him towards the rabid fans. The 5'5 superstar runs the ropes, rebounds, leaps into the air , and grabs Jamie's head with a inverted facelock on her ascent. Wowing the capacity crowd, she flies out of the squared circle with a diamond cutter variation! As Alix lands on the outside mats, her viscous hold snaps O'Hara's throat off the hard cables, and causes his head to bounce back so awkwardly it looks like it may roll clear off his shoulders! “ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!” chant the amazed London faithful COLE Jesus Christ! The lovable young lady blows kisses to her fans, while the detestable young lad spends his time coughing up blood. She celebrates her cool strike, by making like Missy Elliot and get-get-getting her freak on with a few fans in the front row. After finishing her dancing, she rolls into the ring, and grabs Jamie into grounded front face lock. Because there aren't any actual moves you can use in a grounded front face lock, she has to lift him up to do anything. Spezia shoots him into the air, runs to the corner, and gives him an oh-so nasty crotch first drop onto the top turnbuckle! “OOOOOH!” say the crowd members who aren't laughing at his misfortune. Just to alleviate some of the awful pain, Jamie puts his legs on the inside of the ring. COACH Always count on the Upstarts to pull out the victory in the end! Fraught with an extreme panic, O'Hara frantically kicks away at an advancing Alix. He manages to delay her assault for a little while. However he goes to well one too many times, and she grabs his foot on one of his slower kicks. From there Ally Cat yanks her worried foe clear off the turnbuckle! As he's about to plummet to the mat, she grabs both his legs onto her shoulders then lays waste to the poor kid by torpedoing him into the turnbuckle with a lethal powerbomb! “HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!” COLE You got that right! COACH Jamie is a tough kid. He can bounce back from anything. Believe you me. While O'Hara belts out an anvil-chorus(look it up, kids), she hooks him into a wheelbarrow suplex set up. As much as he's suffering right now, he's in for whole lot more pain if Alix gets her suplex off. Knowing this, he manages to secure a position on her shoulders on his ascent. He spins his skinny frame around, so that his crotch is in her face (lol!). He attempts a hurricanrana, however Alix has little difficulty flipping him off! When he lands, the riled up diva lunges at him with a lariat! He avoids near decapitation by ducking it! His arrogance getting the best of him, he taps his head with his index finger to show us how smart he is. He rotates to gloat to the fans on the other side, and is introduced to the world's nastiest yakuza kick! Again he avoids a beheading, ducking the brutal move! This time he does more then taunt, and slaps Alix with a gorgeous back heel kick! To his alarm the blow doesn't even knock her over, it just leaves her slightly dazed and very very angry. She rumbles into him with a massive yakuza kick, that connects with his face with a resounding impact. The shot opens a deep gash on his forehead, and sends the tipsy brawler reeling all the way to the corner! Seeing nothing but red, Spezia charges him with her latest attempt to separate his head from his body, a running dropkick! Again Jamie fights off dismemberment, pulling Silverman in to be his meatsheild. KRAAAAAAACK! That's the excruciatingly disturbing sound of Alix's shoes massacring Billy Silverman's facial cartilage. Nose gushing more blood then Red Cross gets in a year, Silverman collapses to the mat. COLE Silverman down! Silverman down! Alix looks concerned for Silverman's welfare, but only because he promised to score her weed after the show. She's a little more disquieted about O'Hara, who's climbed to the top rope! He throws his body off, landing onto Alix's shoulders in a victory roll set up! He tries to pull her backwards, but there will be no victory for him, as Alix shoves him off with unerring ease. As he's plummeting to the mat, she amazingly catches him in a full nelson then hits him with the Midnight Motivation (Full Nelson Face Crusher)!!! “YEAAAAAAAA!” Go the crowd. CABOOSE Your boy is done, Coach. Before Coach can even say “The Upstarts always have a plan”, boos and jeers are polluting the arena air, as GPX member Johnny Jax is storming down the aisle. Double J hops on the ring apron, ready to throw down with his hated rival. She's more then ready to rumble, and comes at him with a running forearm! But before her blow can dislodge his jaw, Johnny sprays her in the face with Elegance a new fragrance by Krista Isadora Duncan! COLE Oh no! “JOHNNY JACKASS! JOHNNY JACKASS!” the crowd chant at the Upstrat Blinded by the sweet cherry scented perfume, Alix turns around and stumbles into a SPIKED PUNCH (double underhook brainbuster) from Scotty Static! COACH Spiked punch! Punched Spike! Sunched Pike! Ah! COLE Where in tarnation did he come from?! The fans are pushed beyond infuriated, and pelt Static with every derogatory slur their minds can think of. He shows them zero interest, focusing his attention on dragging his bloodied ally, O'Hara onto a prone Alix. With O'Hara in position, Static rouses a befuddled Silverman, then escapes to ring side. As Billy makes a count, Static and Jax sit on the outside, tearfully watching their masterplan play out to exquisiteness . 1 2 COLE No! Not this way! Damn it! Damn it! 3!!! “BOOOOOOOOOO!” As “Lose Yourself” returns to TV's nationwide, Static, still crying tears of joy, drags O'Hara, who doesn't even know he won a match, out of the ring. The GPX member gathers his best bud, Johnny Jax, and the trio retreat up the ramp. Scotty is radiant with pride over this hard won victory, Johnny is blinding random audience members with sprays of the perfume, and Jamie is back to talking all sorts of trash to whoever will listen. COLE Coach, the Upstarts stole one! It took three people to beat Alix Spezia. COACH Don't get so uptight about the Upstarts, mang. We do what it takes to win. Jamie got a win in his home country, and there ain't nothing wrong with that. Look, I'll tell you a joke to ease the pain. Knock knock. COLE Who's there? COACH Eura COLE Eura who? COACH Eura stupid bitch who needs to shut up before you get smacked across your face. I got yo monies! I got yo monies! CABOOSE I can't hit Popick, but I can hit him, right? COLE Please do. CABOOSE Lovely. Commercial break Edited December 9, 2005 by KingPK Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted December 9, 2005 (edited) A piano plays a melody, causing the crowd to cheer. The lights go down in the arena, turning back on in tune with the melody. *COME ON!* “What’s My Name?” by DMX starts playing. Seizure inducing lights appear around the entrance. The crowd cheers as the Colombian Heat entrance video plays on the AngleTron. The entrance doors slide open, and Colombian Heat steps out onto the entrance stage. The crowd’s cheers get louder. Heat raises his hands, acknowledging the fans, and then walks down the entrance ramp, hyping the crowd up along the way. COLE Last week we saw the return of Colombian Heat, PRL’s FORMER best friend, who had been gone from the OAOAST for over a year. COACH And what a way to return. Colombian Heat took on the entire Lightning Crew after he turned down PRL’s idea of a reunion between them. He has made it clear that he’s coming after Tha Puerto Rican, and hopes to become 24/7 Champion in the process. Colombian Heat enters the ring. He raises his arms in the air again, and then throws up the “WEST SIIIIIIIIIDE” hand signal. He gets on the ring ropes and throws up the “W”, and then poses on the second turnbuckle. CABOOSE Colombian Heat is an ungrateful bastard. PRL gave him an olive branch last week. He WANTED to become Heat’s friend again. And what does Heat do? He shoves him and ATTACKS him! COLE Colombian Heat knew very well that PRL was lying. He saw right through him. CABOOSE PRL’s changed. He’s not the same man he used to be, especially after he joined up with Popick. This is not the same PRL that kicked Colombian Heat out of The Lightning Crew a year ago. COLE Oh yeah right. PRL hasn’t changed at all. His handshake with Popick at November Reign proved that! Heat gets off the turnbuckle and grabs a microphone. The lights go back in the arena as Heat bobs his head to his entrance song. “What’s My Name?” by DMX dies down. The crowd is still cheering, producing a smile on Colombian Heat’s face. COLOMBIAN HEAT Aw yeah! Yo, yo, yo! If all of y’all are ready to feel the Heat, make some noise UP IN THIS BI-AAAAATCH~!!! The crowd cheers. COACH Aw yeah! Fo’ sho! I’m ready to feel the Heat, yo! Word to your mother! CABOOSE Stop it. COACH Okay. HEAT A'ight. So, last week, I returned to the OAOAST, and when I returned, Tha Puerto Rican tried to be nice to me again. He tried to treat me like I was his long lost brother. What PR forgets is that PRL stopped being my “brother from another mother” when he KICKED ME OUT of The Lightning Crew back in the ’04. Ever since then, I haven’t considered PRL a brother, a friend, an acquaintance. None of that. No. PRL. That dude is my ENEMY! And what do you do with your enemies? Dat’s right. You kick their ass from pillar to post! Heat takes a moment to let the fans cheer. HEAT So since PRL is my enemy, and since you are suppose to kick your enemies ass, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that I want to kick Tha Puerto Rican’s ass six ways from Sunday! CABOOSE Oh Heat. Like you’re a genius? Give me a break! HEAT And since Tha Puerto Rican happens to be the OAOAST 24/7 Champion, I wouldn’t mind taking that belt away from him! I think I’d look good rocking the 24/7 Title around my waist. Don’t you agree? The crowd cheers in agreement. HEAT Ha Ha! Yeah boy. I’d be the illest 24/7 Champion ever! And don’t fret, yo. Don’t panic. I’d proudly wear the REAL 24/7 Title around my waist! Not that hunk of junk PR calls a title. Plus, I figure wearing that belt would cause all the girlies to come flocking to me! Heh heh. Ya heard me? I’m a P.I.M.P.! You know what I’m saying? CABOOSE No, I don’t know what you’re saying. Speak proper English! HEAT (CONT’D) So, Lightning Kid, Puerto Rican Lightning, Tha Puerto Rican. Whatever you wanna call yourself. I’s know your back there. And I knows these people wanna see you feel the Heat! So, come on there, and get ready to receive the ass kicking of a lifetime! Get out here now! COLE Whoa! Colombian Heat has thrown down the gauntlet! He wants to face Tha Puerto Rican, right here, right now! COACH Tonight? Oh boy. I hope Heat is ready for this! Colombian Heat paces back and forth in the ring. “LIGHTNING CREW!” A lightning bolt hits the entrance. The Lightning Crew entrance video plays on the AngleTron, while “No Chance In Hell” by Bradley Royds starts playing. The crowd starts booing loudly. The entrance doors slide open, and through the smoke come The Lightning Crew. The crowds boos get louder. COLE And there they are. The Lightning Crew has come out to back Tha Puerto Rican. COACH How is he going to respond to Heat’s challenge? “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican is wearing a gold chain, an earring on his left ear, a black vest with no shirt, a $500 Rolex watch, black dress pants, and black dress shoes. He is also holding his custom made spinner 24/7 Championship belt like a purse. He spins the belt plate and then stares at Heat (despite wearing sunglasses). “No Chance In Hell” by Bradley Royds dies down as PRL begins to speak. “THE CORPORATE CHAMPION” THA PUERTO RICAN Colombian Heat. You come out here, you run your mouth, wearing your stupid clothes, talking like an idiot, and you have the GALL, the AUDACITY to throw down a punk card to Tha Puerto Rican? Heat nods his head. PUERTO RICAN Well, Tha Puerto Rican says, in the words of Lil’ Kim: SHUT UP, BITCH! The crowd boos. “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” starts up. PRL Now… PRL is interrupted by the “P.R. SUCKS!” chant. PRL London, England, this is not the way you treat The Corporate Champ, so either show me some respect or Know Your Role and SHUT YOUR MOUTHS! The crowd starts jeering even louder! COLE London, England HATES Tha Puerto Rican! CABOOSE I apologized to Tha Puerto Rican for the behavior of my fellow countrymen. PRL Now Colombian Heat, coming back to the OAOAST after I beat your ass was your first mistake. Coming out here and issuing a challenge was mistake #2. The fact that you really think you can go one-on-one with The Corporate Champ proves just how much of an idiot you really are! The Lightning Crew all agree and pose menacily. Well except for Thomas Rodriguez, who is hiding behind Mr. Boricua. PRL Colombian Heat, there are two things you can do when I kick your ass: nothing or like it! I tried to stop the violence and increase the peace last week. I gave you a chance to simply walk away. You didn’t have to become my friend again. I wasn’t asking that. I was asking for you to simply let things slide. To move on. To not make it your life’s mission to hurt me. I was trying to prevent you from taking a Lightning Crew ass kicking. But no. You didn’t want to let things slide. You didn’t want to move on, you bitter jackass! You wanted to act like a jabrony and come after me, attacking me, Tha Puerto Rican! Well, Heat, you made your decision, and now, you’re gonna suffer because of it! So Heat, you want to fight Tha Puerto Rican tonight on The Corporate Show, HeldDOWN~!? Well, I’ll tell you what I’m gonna do. I’m gonna walk down the Corporate Ramp. PRL and The Lightning Crew start walking down the entrance ramp. COLE Uh-oh. PRL I’m gonna slide into The Corporate Ring. I’m gonna take off my $500 Rolex watch. (PRL removes his watch.) Remove my $800 Versaci vest. (PRL remove his vest.) And then, I’m gonna proceed to lay the smackdown on your candy ass so hard, you’re going to regret ever stepping foot in an OAOAST ring! The Lightning Crew is about to enter the ring. COLOMBIAN HEAT That’s all well and good P.R. You go ahead and do that. But before you do, I thought I’d let you know that I got me some backup too! Colombian Heat does The Lightning Crew Salute! Suddenly, through the crowd come Spanish Fly and John “Rock Hard” Brickston! The two former Lightning Crew members slide into the ring, and join up with their fellow former Lightning Crew member. COLE John Brickston and Spanish Fly have joined up with Colombian Heat! The crowd cheers loudly. Colombian Heat glances at Fly and Brickston. All three men have smirks on their faces. Colombian Heat, Spanish Fly, and John “Rock Hard” Brickston all do The Lightning Crew Salute at the same time! This enrages Tha Puerto Rican, and he and The Lightning Crew storm the ring and a brawl erupts! COLE The Lightning Crew are fighting each other! COACH We’ve got ourselves a pier six brawl up in here! The crowd goes wild! Mr. Boricua and Cuban Wall battle Spanish Fly. Vitamin X brawls with John “Rock Hard” Brickston. Tha Puerto Rican brawls with Colombian Heat. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez and Thomas Rodriguez try to move out of the way of the brawling. COLE There’s chaos in the ring! 7 men are brawling inside that ring! CABOOSE I can’t tell what’s going on! COACH Me either! Colombian Heat gets the better of PRL. He kicks PRL in the stomach, and turns him around. Heat grabs PRL, and lifts him up for the Colombian Necktie! COLE Here it comes! But before anything can come, Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua attack Colombian Heat! Heat drops PR and gets manhandled by Wall and Boricua. That is until John Brickston attacks both big men! Finally, security and the OAOAST Road Agents run into the ring, breaking up the brawl. The crowd boos. COLE And now security is putting a kibosh on this brawl! The Road Agents and the security guards pull apart The Lightning Crew and Heat, Fly, and Brickston. PRL is held back as he tries to go after Heat. Security, Terry Taylor, and Terry Funk take The Lightning Crew out of the ring. “Macho Man” Randy Savage, Dean Malenko, and some other security guards hold Heat, Spanish Fly, and John Brickston back. CABOOSE Yeah! Hold Colombian Heat back! He’s a thug! He’s a gangsta! Who knows what he can do? COACH Did you see that Colombian Heat was about to give PRL the Colombian Necktie? CABOOSE No I didn’t. You must need glasses. I didn’t see that at all! COLE Coach is right. Colombian Heat was about to give PRL the Colombian Necktie. CABOOSE Why that’s a load of— COLOMBIAN HEAT Yo, P! Yo, P! Yo, I just thought of somethin’. I’ma gonna save my title shot until a later date. Because these two brothas over herre still gots some unfinished bizness wit you! So, hows bout in two weeks, at Climax, me, Spanish Fly, and John “Rock Hard” Brickston take you, and two other Lightning Crew members on in a Six-Man Tag Team Match? PRL Tha Puerto Rican accepts! And Heat, get ready, because Tha Puerto Rican’s partners will be the two biggest men in the OAOAST: Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua! THE CHAMP HAS SPO-KUN~!!! “No Chance In Hell” starts up again. Mr. Boricua and Cuban Wall crack their knuckles and grunt. Colombian Heat appears to have been taken aback by PRL’s choice of partners. PRL laughs evilly, as does The Lightning Crew. The crowd boos. COLE An electrifying match has just been added to Climax! “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican, Mr. Boricua, and Cuban Wall will take on Colombian Heat, Spanish Fly, and John “Rock Hard” Brickston in a Six-Man Tag Team Match! CABOOSE I look forward to it. With Mr. Boricua and Cuban Wall by his side, Tha Puerto Rican will hurt Colombian Heat so bad, he will NEVER challenge for the 24/7 Title! COLE Now Caboose, that isn’t a guarantee. We won’t know the result of that match until Climax, December 18th. CABOOSE Oh I played out the whole match in my mind right now. PRL, Cuban Wall, and Mr. Boricua will crush Heat, Spanish Fly, and John Brickston, breaking every bone in their bodies. The Lightning Crew will take the remains of Heat, Fly, and Brickston and stomp on them until they’re dust. Then they will cover the dust to win, and afterwards, will take brooms and sweep the dust into a garbage can. Time of the match: 3 minutes. COLE Uh…yeah. Anyway, The Lightning Crew explodes December 18th at Climax! Colombian Heat, Spanish Fly, and John “Rock Hard” Brickston stare angrily at The Lightning Crew. Colombian Heat glares a hole into PRL. “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican spins the belt plate on his spinner 24/7 Championship belt, then jaws with Heat. The Lightning Crew all stare at the former LC members and act all menacingly. “No Chance In Hell” by Bradley Royds continues playing. (FADE OUT) (We go backstage to Calvin Szechstein's office where he is reading through some papers when someone walks in and stands next to his desk. The camera doesn't have a shot of his face until it pans out to show...Jamie O'Hara.) CALVIN Can I help you? O'HARA Yea', damn straight ya can Cal. I wanna to throw my name in the hat f'Parka's open challenge for that X Title! CALVIN I'm afraid the list is pretty full. Parka already has an opponent for this week until the PPV. O'HARA Who's he facin' at the PPV then? CALVIN That has not been determined yet. O'HARA I want that spot. CALVIN And why should I pick you above all these other people? O'HARA Coz' I'm the best damn high flyer to join the OAOAST in years, cockwad! CALVIN I'm sure you're quite talented... O'HARA You ain't sure'a nothin'! You're a supporter of the Originals and you probably ain't even watched a single one'a my matches!! CALVIN Now wait just a minute here. I make it my business to follow all of the talent on our shows no matter if they are Original or Upstart! O'HARA Then you knooooow I'm the best, dawg! CALVIN I admire your confidence and your guts and you are a good wrestler. I was having a hard time choosing an opponent for Parka for Climax, but if you want it so badly prove it to me. I'll put you in next week's X Title Match. I'll make it a Triple Threat Match. If you prove to me that you are as good as you say then you'll be on the PPV. Who knows...if you're as good as you claim to be you might go into the PPV as champion. O'HARA Oh, I'm'a be champion. I'm'a be champion fah sure! CALVIN Show me. Don't disappoint me because I'm going out on a limb here. A lot of guys have stepped up for a shot at the X Title and if I pick you to wrestle at Climax for that title I'm sure a lot of guys will be pissed off. O'HARA Let'em be pissed off! Punk ass bitches! I don't care! Parka said he'd take on all comers and that includes me. An' after next week, the whole world's gonna be talkin' about me. You'll be wantin' to have me headline your PPV's, let alone be askin' for shots on one! CALVIN We'll see. O'HARA Oh yeah, we gonna see aarigh'. You gonna see that Parka...he ain't got the skillz to pay the billz, bitch! You're lookin' at your next X Champion o'the world! Holla Aitcha Boi! (Jamie O'Hara leaves and Calvin goes back to his work.) CALVIN Great, another guy asking for a title match at Climax. (He pauses, seemingly thinking something over before standing.) CALVIN Well, might as well get him off my back before I have to deal with that kid. (He walks out of frame) COLE What is he talking about? BUFFER Your following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall. In the ring, from Latin Amerrrrrrrica~!... LLLOOOOSSSSS... CONQUISTADOOOOOORRRRRRRSSSSSSS!! The Conquistadors raise their fists in the air, getting a mixed reaction as we're back on HeldDOWN~! And we swoop down to Sofa Central, just as "Slither" by Velvet Revoler hits and draws boos from around the arena. COLE Well, we're ready for tag team action, apparantly. Quite who set this match up, I have no idea. But it seems, we're going to see the HI-YAH Heavyweight Champion in action...against Los Conquistadors? CABOOSE Oh. Goody. As the boos continue, Christian Wright leads the way through the curtains, with his bodyguard following out behind and showing off TEH GUNZ~! Right on cue with the music, Wright tears the hood down from his ring attire and leads the way to the ring. BUFFER And their opponents! At a total combined weight of five hundred and seventeen pounds... the team consisting of the former HI-YAH Heavyweight Champion of the World, BOOOOHHEEEMMOOOOOTTHHHH!! And, the CURRENT HI-YAH Heavyweight Champion of the World... "THE NATURAL" ... CCHHHRRRRRIIIISSSTTIIIIAAAANN WWWWRRRRRRIIIIGGGHHHHHTT!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Forgive my ignorance, but I don't get this. Why are Los Conquistadors, who in all fairness can't be considered one of the OAOAST's best tag teams, stepping into the ring to face a former and the current HI-YAH Heavyweight Champion? COACH I'm sure I have no idea. *reaches under table* Squash, anyone? COLE Ooh, mashed! My favourite! Bohemoth jogs up the steps and enters the ring, flexing the biceps and striking pure, unbridled FEAR~ into the hearts of Los Conquistadors! Indeed, the gold shiny asses of the Conquistadors scurry from the ring to regroup. Meanwhile, Wright rolls into the ring, passing his HI-YAH Title to the referee with no hesitation. COLE Christian certainly looks to be in an 'all business' kinda mood tonight. And no wonder, after his defeat last week to Krista Isadora Duncan...which, thankfully for him, was a non-title contest. CABOOSE Yeah, apparantly Krista didn't fancy the prospect of regular flights to Japan. Surprising, considering how easy it is to get booze over there and how far away her kid would be. Oh well. Japan's loss is our utter tragedy, I guess. COACH Amen. A rapid Mexican/Spanish/wherever they're from discussion is taking place on the outside between Los Conquistadors, possibly regarding finding themselves an agent. Or new jobs. Referee Brian Hebner leans over the ropes and passes out the HI-YAH Title, calling for the bell before telling one of the Conquistadors to get in the ring. *DING DING DING!* There's the bell. But Hebner's demands are met with vehement shakes of the head from Los Conquistadors. They want no part of this. It's lucky that Hebner just happens to have a mini bottle of tequila in his pocket (hey, getting fired hit him hard). That proves enough of a lure for the gold, shiny Hispanics to enter the ring...but by the time they get there, the tequila bottle is safely back in Hebner's pocket. Finally in the ring, both Conquistadors seem pensive to start the match, as Bohemoth stands across the ring from them. The quicker thinking Conquistador leaves to the apron quickly, thus appointing his partner as the legal man. COLE So, which one is this guys? Uno or Dos? COACH Definately Dos. Dos is the one with the moustache. COLE No, you're thinking of the Beverly Brothers. COACH Oh, yeah. Well, that definately doesn't look like Butch, so it must be... COLE No, that's the Bushwhackers. You're getting closer though, in a weird sort of way. CABOOSE They're both gold and shiny and above all, jobbers. Does it really matter what we call them? COLE Good point. Shiny Gold Guy #1 is in. Nervously, Uno tries to lock up with Bohemoth, but the big man drives a knee into his gold gut and doubles him over. An irish whip sends Uno into the corner...and Bo follows in with a stiff clothesline, so stiff infact that it might as well be Ned Blanchard's manhood! Out staggers Uno, right into a right hand from Bohemoth. Followed by a second. Uno is reeling, but surprisingly still on his feet. A situation remedied by Bohemoth's massive boot slamming into his jaw! Uno is dazed, but still has the presence of mind to roll backwards, quickly tagging in Dos before he can prevent it. Not too pleased to be tagged, Dos gingerly enters the ring, obviously not wanting to raise Bo's ire. But it matters not, as Bo charges him straight away with a knee, followed by some clubbing forearms. Dos gets pounded to his knees, before Bo measures the gold cranium of the Conquistador...and almost knows it clear off with a HARD right hand! COLE Good Lord! Bohemoth is some kind of bohemoth! CABOOSE ... As The Natural looks on, Bohemoth sets about pulling Dos to his feet and sending him off the ropes. He swings with a clothesline but Dos manages to roll underneath the massive arm. Surprised, Bo swings again, but again Dos tumbles underneath. "ARRIBA!!" *SMACK!* YAKUZA KICK! Dos topples like a felled tree...slowly and comically. Hands on hips, Bohemoth waits patiently for Dos to fall, before wheeling away the moment he hits the mat, to SHOW OFF TEH GUNZ~! COACH AW DAMN, SON~! DEM'S GUNZ~! DEM'S BIG GUNZ~! As Dos lies in a comatose state in one corner of the ring, Bohemoth happens to glance around. Which is wise, as Uno advances on him. Bohemoth is first to react however, catching Uno running in and PLANTING him with a Front SPINEBUSTAAAAAAH~! COACH BETTER THAN HOFF'S!! CABOOSE Man, Hoff is so owned. *rolls eyes* Suddenly, the camera cuts to the corner where Wright is flashing the thumbs up Bohemoth's way...before turning the thumbs down~! Bo sees the signal and instantly hauls the lifeless body of Conquistador Dos off the canvas and scooping him into his arms. The crowd know what's coming, booing in preperation, as Bohemoth swings Dos around... ...out... ...and DOWN~! COLE Erotic Awakening Of B!! But Bohemoth isn't going for a cover. Instead, Bohemoth turns to his corner, reaching out a hand...and allowing Christian Wright to tag himself into the match! CABOOSE This is ridiculous. What the hell is this supposed to prove, beating up two nobodies in full length gold bodysuits?Who's this supposed to impress? All hail The Upstarts, huh? Future of wrestling my ass! COACH Hey, it ain't there fault if there's no competition for them in the OAOAST! CABOOSE He got competition last week. And he failed. Miserably. Bohemoth got competition at November Reign. And he failed. Equally as miserably. With Uno up, Wright measures him, delivering a boot to the gut! The fans are already booing wildly, as Wright applies a front facelock and lifts Uno to a 90 degree position, before he twists and SPIKES Uno with the Converting The Sinner!! It's all over bar the shouting now, as Wright places a hand on Uno's chest and makes the cockiest cover this side of Chris Jericho... 1... 2... 3!! *DING DING DING!* "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The fans, justifiably, feel cheated and start to clamour for refunds. But hold up just a minute, because Christian Wright is now demanding a microphone. WRIGHT What you see before you...is merely a modicum of the potential damage and devestation myself and my bodyguard can and will willingly inflict. Daniel Black, Anthony Brannigan. For numerous years, the team known worldwide as Black T has proclaimed to dominate the Tag Team Division of the One And Only AngleSault Thread. Before you at this current juncture, you observe the beginning of a new dominance. In precisely 10 Days, the OAOAST presents it's December Pay Per View offering, entitled Climax. And for you Daniel Black and for you Anthony Brannigan, in regards to your collective careers and social standing, it shall become exactly that! For we, Bohemoth and myself, are offering forth a challenge to tag team combat. Black T versus myself, Christian Wright and the man that stands besides me, Bohemoth. COACH Say what? COLE He's issuing a challenge to Black T. COACH Oh. DAYYUM~! Wright throws down the microphone and the crowd who did understand whatever just came from his mouth boo. The rest just boo for the sake of things, to sneers from both Bohemoth and Wright as they begin to leave the ring. We fade for a break. Commercials Edited December 9, 2005 by KingPK Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted December 9, 2005 It Ain't Over for Me hits and boos fill the arena as World Champion Stephen Joseph walks out along with 24/7 champ Tha Puerto Rican and Vitamin X. COLE And it's time for more six-man action, the final first round match in the Six Man Tag Tournament; it's our MAIN EVENT of the evening. BUFFER The following is a first-round contest in the tournament to crown the first-ever OAOAST Six-man tag team champions! Here is the first team, at a total combined weight of 693 pounds...introducing first from Miami, Florida...VITAMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX!!!!! Also, the OAOAST 24/7 champion and leader of the Lightning Crew, THA PUERRRRRRRTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRICAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!! And the third and final member...the OAOAST Heavyweight champion of the WORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRLD...STEEEEEEEEEEEEEPHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNN N JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEPHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! COLE Well, we've got two singles champions on this side, but this is about tag team wrestling, Coach! COACH Don't worry about that, these guys have everything under control! They're gonna win this match and advance in the tournament. Simply Ravishing hits and Black T makes their way out along with their partner, Theodore Moneymaker. BUFFER Their opponents...at a total combined weight of 775 pounds...introducing first, TONY BRANNIGAN, DAN BLACK, collectively known as BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!! Their tag team partner, is THEODORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEE MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMONEYYYYYYYYYYYYMAKERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!! COLE Theodore Moneymaker, we understand, is the younger cousin of Tony Brannigan, Coach. COACH That's right, a lot of promise for this young guy, and he's certainly got good bloodlines! *DING DING DING* COLE And we're going to see him to start this one off! Teddy starts with Vitamin X. They tie up, and Teddy backs X into a corner. The referee separates them, and X comes out with a cheap shot and turns Teddy into the corner. X lays in a CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! And another CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Teddy reverses X into the corner, and fires off three CHOPS~! of his own! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Teddy then whips X to the opposite corner, and gives him a BIG backdrop! Teddy then drops a fist! Then another! Cover... 1... 2..... Kickout! Teddy picks up X and delivers a suplex! PR then jumps into the ring, and is met with a hiptoss! SJ comes in, same result! All six men are now in the ring, and they brawl into corners. After trading blows, SJ, PR, and X are all whipped into each other out of the corners! X and PR roll to the floor, and Black clotheslines SJ over the top rope! COLE And Theodore Moneymaker, along with Black T, looking great in the early going of this contest! X slides back into the ring and tags in PR. PR goes to the eyes of Teddy, then gives him a Irish whip. PR puts his head down, however, and Teddy delivers a foot to the face and a clothesline! Teddy then whips PR into his (Teddy's) own corner, then points over at SJ, who attempts to step into the ring, which distracts the referee, allowing Black to hammer PR with forearms to the chest while Tony chokes him with the tag rope! Teddy goes back and joins in, delivering boots to the gut! Teddy then brings PR out of the corner with a gutwrench suplex, and covers... 1... 2....... Kickout! Teddy tags in Tony, who comes in and rakes the eyes of PR across his boot laces! He then picks PR up and gives him a rib-breaker, then runs off the ropes and drops an elbow! Cover... 1... 2...... Kickout! Tony gives PR a big bodyslam! He then tags in Dan Black, who comes off the top rope with a knee drop! Cover... 1... 2...... Kickout! COLE Wow, I thought that could have been it right there! Black then drives PR with a double arm DDT! He waits on PR to get up, then runs to the ropes, but X pulls the top strand down, sending Black crashing to the floor below! Tony comes in and complains to the referee, allowing SJ to go to the floor and shove Black into the ringpost! SJ then picks Black up and rolls him back into the ring, where PR covers... 1... 2..... Kickout! PR delivers a Russian legsweep to Black, then tags in SJ. SJ stomps Black on the mat, then picks him up and delivers a double chop to knock him back down to the mat. SJ then lifts himself up to the second rope, and drives an elbow into the heart! Cover... 1.. 2..... Kickout! SJ backs Black into the corner, and drives knees to the midsection. He then lifts him up onto the buckles, and follows him up. He delivers three right hands, then sets up a SUPERPLEX~! However, Black returns the right hands to the midsection of SJ, then tosses him from the suplex position back down to the mat! Black then stands up on the top rope, and comes off for the FLYING HEADBUTT~! However, SJ rolls out of the way, and Black crashes into the mat! COACH Black should have come down and tagged there, Cole! Golden opportunity now out the window for the team of Black T and Theodore Moneymaker! X tags in, and begins dancing around Black as he gets to his feet. X delivers a right hand! And another! X does the Shane O-Mac shuffle, then delivers a third punch, knocking Black to his feet! X then tags in PR, who sets up Black in suplex position. COACH Uh oh, Cole! It's time for the Corporate Trifecta! PR lifts Black, and drops him with one suplex! He rolls over and get to his feet, and delivers a second one! He gets to his feet once more...and holds Black in the air...carries him to the ropes, bouncing him off...but Black is somehow able to reverse to a DDT in mid-air! COLE What a counter by Dan Black, and now's the chance to make a tag! Black and PR both inch over to their corners, and tags are made to SJ and Tony, respectively! COLE And the tag is made and Tony Brannigan is back in! Big right hand sends SJ to the mat! X comes in and catches one himself! PR charges and gets dumped over the top rope! COACH Oh no, big fall PR just took right there! SJ nails Tony from behind. Tony reverses an Irish whip, however...and hits the OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE~!!!!!11111 COLE THERE IT IS!!! This one's history! 1........ 2................. NO!!! Vitamin X saves! COLE Oh, almost a winner there! X trades blows with Tony, which Tony comes out on top of. Tony whips X into the ropes, but puts his head down. X delivers an uppercut, which dazes Tony. Tony makes it back over to his corner and tags Teddy in, and X catches him coming in with a snap suplex! X picks him up for another one, but takes too much time playing to the crowd, and Teddy spins around and locks in a MILLION DOLLAR DREAM~!!! COLE Moneymaker with a Million Dollar Dream! Could this be it right here? As the referee ushers SJ out of the ring, PR slides in and clocks Teddy in the back of the head with the 24/7 belt! COLE OH NO! NOT THIS WAY! X rolls over and covers... 1...... 2............. 3!!!!!!!!!!!1 *DING DING DING* COLE DAMN IT! COACH OH YEAH, baby! Just like the Coach said, they're movin' on up in the tournament! BUFFER The winners of the match...the team of VITAMIN X, THA PUERTO RICAN, and SSSSSSSSSSTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN JOSEPHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Know Your Role 99 plays as the winners walk back to the locker room. COLE So the brackets are set for the semifinals next week, Coach! COACH That's right, in one semifinal match, it's going to be the team of Brock Ausstin and Team Heyross squaring off against the Originals contingent of Zack Malibu, Leon Rodez, and Peter Knight! And if I were those guys, I'd quit joking around back there about who Candie's baby's daddy is and get focused on this one. COLE Don't let what comes out of their mouths fool you, Coach, those guys are focused! And in the second matchup, it'll be the team we just saw, Stephen Joseph along with Tha Puerto Rican and Vitamin X, taking on the team of Thunderkid, Reject, and Alfdogg! COACH I'm really likin' the chances of SJ and PR to walk out of Climax BOTH double champions right now, Cole! Joseph and Co. continue to celebrate their win, but suddenly...... THREE.... TWO..... ONE...... "I'M THE BOMB!" The music of GM Calvin Szechstein hits as he walks out on stage with a microphone. The music quickly fades as he puts it to his mouth. CALVIN Congratulations, gentlemen. I wish the three of you luck next week in your semifinal match. However, I'm out here to address just one man, and that's you Stephen Joseph. I am out here regarding our next pay per view offering, Climax, which will take place in less than two weeks. If you haven't noticed Stephen, you have not made many friends since you became champion. SJ I DON'T NEED THEM!!! CALVIN In fact, earlier tonight I was talking with someone that would very much would like to step in that ring and take that title from you to finally shut you up. It's someone you have a history with, a recent history in fact. The London crowd roars, a small "AX-EL!!" chant becoming louder by the second. Calvin looks around at the crowd and back at Joseph, who simply sneers and slaps his title belt in response to the chant. CALVIN I would announce who you will be defending the World Championship against at Climax right now..... "YEAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" ....but I like cliffhanger endings. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" So, next week, from Paris, France..... "BOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!" ....You will find out who your opponent is. And I assure you, Stephen, that it is, as the Brits would say, a "top drawer" choice. See you next week, Stephen. I'm The Bomb starts up again as Calvin walks back through the curtain, leaving a defiant Joseph in the ring. COACH NO FAIR!! NO FAIR!! COLE Who will be Stephen Joseph's opponent at Climax? We'll find out next week. Until then, GOODNIGHT FROM LONDON!! Fade out © 2005 OAOAST Entertainment. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted December 9, 2005 Directed by: KingPK Credits: Patty O'Green Tony149 Alfdogg King Cucaracha Masked Man of Mystery Zack Malibu La Parka Your Car Phoenix Fury Legdrop Whoever is Foshi. Ed Wood Caulfield The Love Shack....starts NOW~! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted December 9, 2005 (edited) CHEERS V.O LADY The Love Shack is filmed before a live studio audience...can be assembled. OAOAST Productions, Proudly Presents... #~~THE LOVE SHACK~~# Huzzah! The Love Shack is back, Jack! The loved up Judge Leon Rodez presides, sat at his now instantly recognisable desk (okay, so it's a different desk every week, but that isn't important). And this week, amongst the various items of clutter, waste paper, discarded coffee cups and Futurama memorabilia, on the desk sits a framed picture of one Alix Maria Spezia. With a signature, seemingly in lipstick, that reads "From Spezia, With Love. *insert Bond theme here*" RODEZ Oh, dat Shack, dat Shack, dat...Love Shack! Copious greetings to you all from another edition of the Love Shack, coming to you live of course from Grand Rapids, Michigan. As if you need second telling, I am of course your host Leon Rodez. One, here comes the two to the three to the four, er'rybody drunk out on the dancefloor. Well, just like so many of my movies, Climax is just around the corner. And that means one thing. Excitement. And, maybe some deep, breathy moaning. Although, I expect that's only true for the first part of that. Anyway, myself, Zack Malibu and Peter Knight still remain in the 6-Man Tag Team Title Tournament and next week, make sure you don't miss the semi-finals. Otherwise, people might assume I'm not a draw. And we wouldn't want that now, would we. Looking off screen, Rodez holds up a hand and asks for 'a few more moments'. RODEZ Brock Ausstin, Quentin Benjamin and Charlie Moss. Those three remind me greatly of three other people, who by coincidence are managed by a manager who also reminds me greatly of someone. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Just ask Tha Puerto Rican. Anyway...I saw your match last week. Zack had me on scouting duty see, which had nothing to do with the Rodez Scouts Of America, which unfortunately is still a work in progress. I watched your match Brock and team-mates. Now, granted, I didn't see ALL of it. And some of the sound was muffled by dry heaving from Miss Morning Sickness. I swear, if Zack goes anymore gooey-eyed over a woman vomiting into a trash can, I'm going to have to call Dr Phil, because something might just be amiss. So, I took the tape away to somewhere private and I watched it again. Granted, I did turn off halfway through. And the sound was muffled by the moaning and the panting and the groaning and the 'Oh Leon, yes Leon, is that legal Leon?' from a certain someone... Rodez, not so subtlely, points to the picture of Alix Spezia on the desk. RODEZ ...BUT, I think I got the jist of it. You guys looked pretty impressive out there, from what parts weren't actually obscured from my vision. But, let's face it, you weren't exactly facing stiff competition last week. Unlike Alix of course. *licks finger and holds it up to camera* SCORE ONE!! No, you guys weren't in against big competition. No offence to The Frankensteiners and Spanish Flea, but you didn't have it nearly as tough as you will this coming week. Without sounding too big-headed, next week, you're coming up against the favourites for the belts. The World Tag Team Champions, +1. Me and Zack are on a roll. You're looking at former X-Division Champions, current slash former Tag Team Champions. A former World Heavyweight Champion. You're looking at th... VOICE EXCUSE ME! Cut off in mid-sentence, Rodez looks up in shock at the blatant disrespect from...JIM CORNETTE! Walking onto the set, Cornette is flanked by The New, New Midnight Express. Singleton keeps his eyes firmly on Rodez, while Blanchard glances around the Love Shack 'set'...if you can call it that'...and promptly turns his nose up at it. CORNETTE Now I know that you have the equivilant IQ of a shaved ape, so I'll go easy on you and explain how this works. This. Is. A. 'Talk. Show'. A second rate one, sure, but a talk show nonetheless. Now we...we are your guests. Here's the complicated bit. You run through your cute little opening speil, crack a couple of jokes and then you as the HOST introduce the GUESTS. What you DON'T do is sit here in front of this viewing audience making yourself look good and talking about what you're going to do today, what you're going to do tommorrow and what you're going to do next week. Especially not at the expence of me and my boys here. RODEZ Your...boys? Well jimminy cricket! I didn't think you had it in you Jimmy! CORNETTE (flustered) Huh...wha...yo...NOW YOU LISTEN HERE! You are NOTHING! Okay? NOTHING! You do not use your little self-indulging, clap-trap, worst talk show since Oprah BUTT to make yourself look good over James E. Cornette!! Do you hear me? Nobody cares about you! Nobody cares about what you plan on doing next week! Certainly not me and certainly not the New, New Midnight Express. So how about you sit there and try not to look so damned stupid, while I take care of this one myself!! Okay!?! RODEZ Sure, go right ahe... CORNETTE *to camera* Ladies and gentlemen. Abandon the search for the remote control, because things just got interesting around here! Allow me to introduce to you, the greatest tag team in all of the OAOAST today! They're the cream in your coffee and the sugar in your tea. I give to you, "Sarcastic" Simon, "Narcissistic" Ned...THE NEW, NEW MIDNIGHT EXPRESSSSS!! Ned mugs for the camera, but Simon is still busy keeping an eye on Rodez. Should Rodez attack, The Sultan Of Sarcasm is ready. Of course, Rodez isn't going to attack though. He's a nice guy, which means he's more than happy to take a little abuse from James E. and co. Turning around, Cornette signals for the NNMX to sit down, which they do. Cornette takes the seat closest to Rodez's desk and tries to settle in. RODEZ Well, I've got to admit, that was some intro. CORNETTE No more than they deserve. RODEZ Oh, I'm sure not. Or, I'm sure. I amz not teh grammer expert. So, Jimmy, Neddy, Sim...my? Welcome to The Love Shack. Hopefully you don't fall in love with me like my guests last week did. Or, should that be guest? I think guests, but I have a suspicion that Krista's good at hiding things from others. Speaking of which, how's Maya, Neddy boy? Head snapping around, Ned suddenly loses it and stands up ready to pounce on Rodez. Quickly, Cornette stands up and together with Singleton difuses the situation...as all the while, Rodez watches on with mild amusement. RODEZ So sorry. I didn't realise that would touch a nerve... CORNETTE I suggest you stick to the questions we agreed on earlier. RODEZ Heh. See, the thing with that is, I don't do 'orders' from my guests. I'm here to ask the questions that the fans want to know. And I have it on good authority that the fans are interested in what sort of a father Ned Blanchard is. And besides that, I accidently used your questions as a napkin. But, I'll leave parenthood aside for the moment and ask you about something you're better at, Ned. Wrestling. You guys are two time, former World Tag Team Champions. But, all hasn't been rosy in the garden of Eaton recently, has it? So, what's next for you guys? CORNETTE Wait a minute, Rodez. What are you trying to say exactly? RODEZ Well...it's just, you guys haven't been in great form recently... CORNETTE That wasn't one of the questio... RODEZ And your hopes of getting a shot at me and Zack in the near future aren't looking too good. CORNETTE Now hold on just a minu... RODEZ Infact, it was just a couple of weeks ago in the Survivor Series Rules Match at November Reign that you were defeated by The Frankensteiners. Infact, you both were individually. CORNETTE That was a FLUKE! Nothing more, nothing less. A FLUKE! The Frankensteiners are no match for the New, New Midnight Express in a regular tag team contest! No match! Ned Blanchard went in two on one against those Oklahoma yahoos and he put on the fight of his life, until he was double teamed into defeat. Ned glares at Cornette. CORNETTE Defeat...only...defeat only as far as record books go. In my eyes and in the eyes of everyone who watched November Reign and wasn't under the influence of mind altering substances, Ned Blanchard was a winner! He fought against tremendous odds. He was a moral victor. If it was a fair, two on two contest, we would have gone through The Frankensteiners like prune juice through an 85 year old! They would have surrendered faster than the French! You know that. We know that. And above all else, The Frankensteiners know that! 8-Man Tag Team Elimination Matches should count for zero in the tag team division rankings system. The New, New Midnight Express are former 2-time World Tag Team Champions. And as far as I'm concerned, every passing day that it isn't 3-time is a disgrace to the words 'professional wrestling'. If The Frankensteiners were the World Tag Team Champions, it'd be like the Pied Piper. They'd drive every single OAOAST fan out of town! Where-as my New, New Midnight Express are born winners. Born leaders. Men that can inspire such fat, slovenly, work dodging tax cheats that you pander to into being better people. RODEZ This is you being subtle, right? CORNETTE There's nothing to be subtle about! "Sarcastic" Simon and "Narcissistic" Ned are sick and tired of being overlooked for World Tag Team Titles opportunities. And I'm sick of watching them being sick and tired of them being overlooked for World Tag Team Titles opportunities. Why do you think we agreed to come on this stupid segment in the first place, Rodez? For the intelligent conversation? We're here for just one reason and one reason only... Suddenly, Ned stands up. Simon goes to do the same, but Ned motions for him to sit back down. BLANCHARD Jimmy, you'd better make that TWO reasons. And reason number 1 is, I'm sick and tired of you ripping off my act week in and week out! RODEZ Me? Ripping YOU off? That's a little rich isn't it, Bart Gunn Jnr.? BLANCHARD Leon Rodez, huh? Self proclaimed 'Ladies Man'. A adult filmstar, they say? Quite frankly, I don't believe that for a second. You're nothing but a wannabee Handsome Hustler! Ladies have been flocking for some cocking from Narcissistic Ned while you were still dreaming of the treasured moment that your balls would drop, sonny! By rights, this should be my show. This should be The Handsome Hustler's Half Hour! Instead, it goes to my clone. My wannabee. My mini-me, if you will. If it were any more blatant it'd be tattooed on your forehead. I mean, come on Leon. Did you really have to go so far as to take a page out of my book and find warmth in the loins...of one of the Chicks Over Dicks? Walking over the desk, the smug Handsome Hustler picks up the framed photo of Alix Spezia, prompting Rodez to stand up. BLANCHARD But, of course, like any rip-off...you had to go for the second rate. RODEZ Second rate? And what incarnation of the Midnight Express are you guys? Third? Fourth? You know, they say things get better over time, but you only have to look at you to see that isn't true Jimmy. It looks like you went up against Father Time and came out worse than your boys did at November Reign. CORNETTE Now you listen here Leon Ro... RODEZ No, YOU listen here! Rodez is riled now, but trying to stay diplomatic at the same time. RODEZ I'm a fair guy and I let you on my show despite your track record of being an asshole and of the way you and your latest attempt at milking the Midnight Express name for all the dollars you can get. I even let you on, despite the way you and your boys have treated my girlfriend and her sister in the past. Now, if you guys wanted a Tag Team Title shot, all you had to do was as... *SMASH!!!!* Suddenly, glass shatters, as Ned creeps up behind Rodez and SMASHES him in the back of the head with the framed picture of Alix Maria Spezia! Rodez slumps forward across his desk, as Ned laughs it up. Simon now launches into action, as he starts clubbing away on the back of Rodez's spine from over the desk. Meanwhile, Ned looks at the broken picture in his hand and mockingly gives Alix's image a big smacker before tossing it against the wall behind him. Then, he quickly grabs Rodez's arm. Simon takes the signal and grabs Rodez over arm, holding him in place as Jim Cornette swaggers out in front of the desk. Wielding his trusty tennis racket, of course. BLANCHARD GIVE IT TO HIM JIMMY, GIVE IT TO HIM! CORNETTE Rodez, consider this a challenge! *THWACK!* "AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" CORNETTE You better forget about those 6-Man Tag Team Titles and worry about "Sarcastic" Simon and "Narcissistic" Ned! *THWACK!* "AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" CORNETTE Because...you ain't gonna make it through next week, let alone to Climax! And Rodez... Reaching down, Cornette pulls Rodez's head up so that he's locked eye to eye with him. CORNETTE ...guess what. The New, New Midnight Express have got plenty more where this came from! *turns to Ned* Show him what to expect, when we finally get our rightful shot at the Titles! Show him! Hooking on a front facelock, Ned tosses the arm overhead. *THUU - UUUD!* SLINGSHOT SUPLEX!! Ned uses the desk as the Slingshot and Suplexes Rodez onto the cold, concrete floor with a sickening splat!! Simon and Cornette laugh it up, as Ned stands smugly over Rodez, nudging him over onto his back with a nonchalant foot. Turning to Simon, he then gives a thumbs up. Which Simon takes as the signal to climb up onto Rodez's now departed desk. Rodez is motionless, as Ned moves his limp body around and gets in Rodez's face. BLANCHARD Tell Alix, Neddy said "Hi". Stepping backwards, Ned reaches up and grabs Simon. The Sultan Of Sarcasm is perched, a little cautious of how much weight the desk can take. But it holds. And as Simon stands, Ned launches him off the desk. *WHAM!* ROCKET LAUNCHER!! Rodez is writhing in agony now, clutching his ribs, as Simon eases himself up gingerly. Grabbing his partner around the shoulders, Ned is in hysterics, as Cornette pats his clients on the back. CORNETTE Good luck next week, Leon. And we'll see you real soon. Real...real soon. Cornette gives Rodez a parting shot to the gut with the handle of the tennis racket, as he and the NNMX leave. Blanchard taking a path right over Rodez's body, making sure to walk right over his ribs as he goes. Loud cackling and whooping can be heard as the NNMX stroll off into the distance. Leaving Leon Rodez downed, spluttering for breath and clutching his ribs in agony. Fade out Edited December 9, 2005 by King Cucaracha Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
