KingPK 0 Report post Posted December 23, 2005 (edited) Once again we don't immediately launch into the pomp and pyro of our opening. This time, we fade in with GM Calvin Szechstein sitting at his desk. CALVIN Hi, I'm Calvin Szechstein. *cheesy grin* As you know, next month the OAOAST presents it's January tradition, AnglePalooza. This year, 30 Men will Rumble in one ring to determine who goes on to AngleMania V to challenge for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship. It's one of the most eagerly anticipated shows of the year and no doubt, it'll be an entertaining, exciting and above all money making night. Calvin shuffles some papers to add some DRAMATIC PAUSE~! CALVIN I've been warned to expect a 'drop-off' this week and next, as it's Christmas. Well screw that, says I. Forget a ratings slump, because next week I'm going to SPIKE the ratings by bringing to you a big preview of AnglePalooza and more specifical, the Lethal Rumble Match. Leon Rodez and Zack Malibu are both entered in the field of 30 to compete at AnglePalooza, but they will also defend their OAOAST Tag Team Championships on that night. All we need are new challengers. So, next week, I will present a special 12 Man, 6 Team Lethal Rumble...with the winner earning he and his team-mate the shot at AnglePalooza! A pop sounds out for the announcement, which apparantly Calvin can hear, as he smiles on cue. CALVIN And in that match will be... two thirds of the OAOAST 6 Man Tag Team Champions, Quentin Benjamin and Charlie Hoss, TEAM HEYROSS!! The former #1 Contenders, THE NEW, NEW MIDNIGHT EXPRESS!! Two men with a storied history with one of the champions, CHRISTIAN WRIGHT AND BOHEMOTH!! A team that has yet to recieve a rightful rematch for the belts, THE new and improved SK8TER BOIZ!! The rookie team who came out on top at November Reign, THE SOONER BRUISERS!! And, the former two time Tag Team Champions who know one certain Champion very well...I'm talking about BLACK T!!!! The crowd pop again. Like cherries. Oh yeah! CALVIN And now, without further ado, on with the show. I'm Calvin Szechstein...and you're welcome. Fade out to opening n' stuff. It's the HeldDOWN before Christmas (and after Climax), and I was going to do a poem, but I couldn't rhyme "Alix" and "Rodez sausage". We shoot to the arena in Hartford Civic Center in Hartford, Connecticut (we really need to do a show at Mohegan Sun sometime. Just sayin') and quickly throw it over to everyone's favorite trio whose last names all begin with the same letter: Triple CEE~! COLE Happy Holidays everyone and welcome to another edition of HeldDOWN! We had a VERY successful European tour these past few weeks, but it is nice to be back in the good ol' US of A. We're also coming off our final PPV of 2005 this past Sunday and when we said the OAOAST was going out with a bang, we weren't kidding. COACH Parka and Jamie O'Hara wrestled to a draw, MAH BABY GURRRRLLLL! is the Benefactor, Alfdogg is once again Heartland champion, but most important, Stephen Joseph is STILL our World Champion. CABOOSE With a HUGE assist from Axel, whether he intended to or not. Nobody wants to be around Peter Knight right now. COACH The Coach never did. COLE Also at Climax we crowned the first ever OAOAST Six-Man Tag Team Champions and they are Brock Ausstin and Team Heyross. They will have their first title defense against The Triple Threat. And also we'll have a big announcement involving the 2005 Angle Awards, as voting has begun at OAOAST.com, so log on and fill out a ballot today. But right now let's go up to Michael Buffer to kick things off. *DING DING DING* BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Currently in the ring being accompanied by his partner Jim Powers, from Kensington, New York weighing in at 244 pounds: PAUL ROMA! COLE It's a reunion of the Young Stallions. We haven't seen these two together in well over a decade. BUFFER And his opponent.... Symphony X's Evolution(The Grand Design) hits to a pop from the crowd. BUFFER He hails from Kyoto, Japan and weighs in at 217 pounds.....FOOOOOOOSHIIIII! Foshi makes his way down the aisle to nice applause and cheers. COLE Foshi's return to pay-per-view at Climax resulted in not only a victory for him over fellow Japanese superstar Rikjin Massamoto, but also one hell of a match. COACH Those two had a war in that ring and it could've gone either way right up to the end. CABOOSE Either way, it was nice to see Foshi face someone from the post-1995 era. Foshi climbs in the ring and paces back and forth before stopping and staring down his opponent. The bell rings. COLE And we're under way. Foshi and Roma meet in the center of the ring. They have a staredown just as Roma slaps Foshi across the face. OHHHHHHHHH. Foshi goes after Roma who situates his upper body between the middle and top ropes. Foshi kicks Roma in the midsection and drags him back out from the ropes. COACH I could never understand what sticking your body between the ropes was supposed to do. I'm glad Foshi finally figured out a way around it. Foshi snap mares Roma and then comes off the ropes with a dropkick to the back. As Roma falls back to the mat, Foshi drops a leg across the face. He covers, but only gets 2. He picks up Roma as Jim Powers jumps on the mat. With the ref distracted by Powers, Roma hits a low blow. COACH(possessed by early 90's Vince McMahon) DISQUALIFY HIM, REFEREE! CABOOSE What the hell was that? COLE Seriously. COACH What? Roma hits a DDT. He goes to the corner and comes off the second rope with an elbow drop. He follows up with a knee to the face and then another elbow to the face. Roma scoops up Foshi and tosses him into the corner. He delivers a series of elbows to the midsection and hits one more to the face. Roma backs off to flaunt to the crowd as Foshi is somewhat out of it. BOOOOOOOOOOOOO COLE The turning point thus far was the distraction by Jim Powers. Roma has been in total control since then. COACH And he's managed to keep Foshi off his game with the head shots. Roma returns to the corner with a dropkick to the left knee of Foshi. He gets up and hooks the leg over the middle rope and delivers a series of kicks to the knee. The ref forces Roma to back off and while he's preoccupied, Powers hits a vicious chair shot to the knee. Foshi falls forward clutching it. CABOOSE I'll tell you. I really didn't expect a lot out of the Young Stallions here, but Powers is the main reason Roma's in control here. I'm impressed. COLE They've been cheating. COACH Hey, whatever it takes. Foshi used the mist last week. COLE That's because that damn Xanta Klaus had a bag of.... CABOOSE Stop...just stop now. Roma kicks at the knee of Foshi and then comes off the ropes dropping his own knee onto Foshi's. He gets up and hooks a single legged boston crab in the center of the ring. The ref asks, but Foshi refuses to give it up. CABOOSE This is particularly effective when you're going after a particular leg. Whereas the boston crab applies pressure mostly to the lower back, with a single leg crab, you can put all the pressure on one leg. Foshi crawls for the ropes but upon realizing he's too far, elevates himself and rolls under Roma into a leglock of his own. He releases, scoops up Roma and shoots him to the far turnbuckle. Foshi, favoring the left leg, walks over to Roma and hits a series of elbows to the side of the head. He pulls Roma out to the middle of the ring and takes him down into a Fujiwara armbar. Jim Powers jumps on the apron once again. Foshi goes after him and the distraction allows Roma to recover and kick Foshi's leg out from behind. COLE The referee has got to get Powers out from ringside right now. This has basically been a handicap match. Roma rolls to the outside and slams the back of Foshi's knee against the apron. He climbs back in and pulls Foshi over to the turnbuckle. He climbs on top of the bottom rope while holding Foshi's leg and comes off dropping his leg across the knee of Foshi. He covers, but only gets 2. COACH I think Roma's going to have to go for a submission victory here. You're not going to put Foshi away for a pinfall by going after his knee. Roma signals for the end as he climbs up top. He goes all the way up and comes off with a moonsault.....but he misses as Foshi rolled out of the way. CABOOSE That was a mistake on the part of Roma. He had been targeting the knee of Foshi and then instead of keeping on him, he gave him valuable time to recover by going all the way up top. Foshi recovers and Powers is once again on the apron. Foshi responds with a stiff kick using his right leg which knocks Powers off the apron. COLE It's about goddamn time! COACH Jeez Cole. COLE ..Sorry. Foshi grabs his left leg, still favoring it as Roma comes up from behind. He goes for a bodyslam, but Foshi escapes behind and hits a reverse DDT. He picks up Roma and sets up for the brainbuster but right before he picks him up, he changes his mind. He sets Roma up on the top rope and brings him off with a vicious DDT. COLE Brutal and smart by Foshi. He knew he would have a hard time holding up Paul Roma for the brainbuster with his knee in the shape it is. Foshi rolls Roma over for the cover. 1! 2! 3! DING DING DING Foshi's music hits. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen....the winner of this match...FOOOOOOOSHIIIIII! COLE Foshi overcame the odds of Jim Powers on the outside and pulled out a win. Foshi gets to his feet to a nice pop from the crowd. He continues to favor the left knee. Out of nowhere, Jim Powers comes from the outside and clips the knee of Foshi. Powers grabs a chair from the outside and sets up Foshi in the Pillmanizer. COLE No! Somebody stop this! COACH I love it. Powers walks over to the ropes when the crowd begins to stir. Someone emerges from the aisle and climbs in the ring. CABOOSE Hey, it's Massamoto. COLE What is he doing here? COACH I bet he's come to get some revenge. Massamoto walks over to Foshi with the chair wrapped around his knee. He looks over at Powers who has by now noticed his presence. Massamoto takes the chair and pulls it off of Foshi's leg. YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Powers walks over to Rikjin and is met with a series of chops. Powers staggers as Massamoto grabs and sets him up. DRAGON'S BREATH! Powers joins his partner in a state of unconsciousness and the crowd eats it up. COLE Massamoto with the Dragon's Breath. But what's going on here? Foshi gets to his feet and stares at Massamoto. They both look at each other with blank expressions. After a moment of a staredown, Foshi extends his hand and is met with a shake by Massamoto. YEAHHHHHHHH COLE What a show of respect between these two just off a highly competitive match at Climax. COACH This sucks. Not only is Rikjin a big loser, but Foshi's leg isn't broken. Massamoto rolls out of the ring and returns back down the aisle as Foshi's music starts up again and he departs not long after Rikjin. COLE For those of you who are not familiar, OAOAST superstar Foshi is also a respected bassist and lead vocalist in the metal community. Earlier this week, he and his band performed some songs off their new album "18th Daughter of a 19th Son" at a benefit show in New York City to bring some holiday cheer to a local hospital. However, apparently not everyone was in the holiday mood. Let's take you back to what went down. Foshi is seen performing with his band on a stage outside of a hospital. The crowd is very into it and appears to be enjoying Foshi's presence. After a few moments of playing, the sound is cut off. The band and crowd are both quite confused. Then a voice comes over the PA from the side of the stage. DICK CHENEY I know you are all probably having a good time here at this "rock concert". However, I regret to inform you that this year....CHRISTMAS IS CANCELLED! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO CHENEY That's right. Everyone go home. Pack your stuff and leave. No more Christmas. This draws Foshi across the stage to question what Cheney is doing. CHENEY Hey, I don't want any trouble, Toyota. Pack your stuff and get out of here. Foshi looks back at his band as Cheney decks him in the side of the head with his microphone. He goes for another, but Foshi elbows him in the gut to huge cheers from the crowd. He stands up and hits a brainbuster onto the stage. YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH FO-SHI! FO-SHI! FO-SHI! Foshi rolls Cheney off stage. The band sets up their sound system again and resumes playing for the crowd. COLE That's gonna come back to bite him come tax time. Coming New Year's Day: Ring in 2006 with the OAOAST!! Featuring the presentation of the 2005 Angle Awards With the full, uncut broadcasts of the best matches of the year voted on by you, the fans. And much more. LIVE, January 1st, 2006 ONLY on The TSM Network. The camera cuts to the parking lot. A red low rider with The Lightning Crew logo painted on the hood of the car along with a painting of Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez on the hood drives into the parking lot. With “No Chance In Hell” blasting on the speakers, and a license plate that reads LCREW 1, it can only mean that one stable has arrived. THA PUERTO RICAN THE CHAMP IS HERE! “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican gets out of the front passenger’s side. The crowd boos. Cuban Wall gets out of the driver’s seat, and Mr. Boricua comes out from the back. PRL grabs his bags, adjusts his suit and tie, and then starts walking, but is stopped by the sight of two little boys, ages 8 and 10. The little boys are the typical adorable little boys seen on T.V., Caucasian with bowl haircuts, puppy dog eyes, and rosy cheeks. The 10-year-old boy is holding a picture, while the 8-year-old boy stands in awe of The Lightning Crew members. PRL has a smile on his face as he walks up to them. “THE CORPORATE CHAMPION” THA PUERTO RICAN Now, what do we have here? 10-YEAR-OLD BOY Can I have your autograph? PRL Why should, I’ll give you an autograph. What, you two Puerto Rican fans? The two little boys nod. The crowd and Tha Puerto Rican go “AWWWWWW!” PRL Well, isn’t that cute. Can you say my catchphrases? 8-YEAR-OLD BOY THE CHAMP HAS SPO-KUN~!!! PRL HA! That is so adorable! Can you do the People’s Eyebrow? The 10-Year-Old boy tries to do his best People’s Eyebrow. He can’t arch it the way PRL can, but he tries, damnit. PRL Heh. Cute kid. Nice to see The Corporate Champ has fans of all ages! PRL pulls out a pen from one of his sports jacket pockets. PRL Now what do you want me to sign? 10-YEAR-OLD BOY This. PRL Okay. PRL grabs the piece of paper. PRL I’ll just go ahead and give this my John Hancock. And— PRL is about to sign the paper, when he notices something and gets angry. PRL What is this? Is this some kind of joke? Where did you get this? PRL shows the kids the picture. It’s a photo of Colombian Heat giving Tha Puerto Rican the Colombian Necktie at Climax last Sunday! The crowd cheers! 8-YEAR-OLD BOY Colombian Heat gave it to us. 10-YEAR-OLD BOY He said you would sign it for us. PRL Well kids, Colombian Heat is a liar. A dirty, dirty liar! Tha Puerto Rican rips the picture in half! PUERTO RICAN NO AUTOGRAPH FOR YOU! Tha Puerto Rican throws the picture to the ground. PRL HEAT! Tha Puerto Rican, Cuban Wall, and Mr. Boricua leave. The two little boys stand there crushed, tears filling up their eyes. 8-YEAR-OLD BOY But Mr. Puerto Rican, you said you would give us an autogra— MR. BORICUA GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!! Mr. Boricua scares the two little boys! The two little boys run away. The 8-year-old boy hides behind the 10-year-old boy. Both of them are shaking in their little sneakers, and they’ve wet their pants. The 8-year-old boy starts crying. The crowd boos. Commercial break Edited December 23, 2005 by KingPK Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted December 23, 2005 We return to Hartford and Sofa Central. COACH Climax certainly was a fantastic way to close out the 2005 PPV calendar and one of the sleeper matches of the entire show was the match for the X-Division Title, with The Parka taking on the youngster Jamie O'Hara. The young Upstart O'Hara put on the show of his life and took The Parka to his limit, with the match ending in a double-pin situation. We have Jamie standing by but first, let's show you just why Jamie O'Hara is being touted as 'One To Watch In 2006'... *************************** Jamie pulls Parka to his feet by the head and nails him with three forearms to the jaw. With Parka properly dazed he nails a Handspring Elbow off the ropes that knocks Parka down. Then without missing a beat Jamie nails a Standing Spiral Tap!! COLE Wow!! COACH I love this guy! *************************** *************************** Parka then pulls Jamie back up and whips him across the ring, but Jamie bounces off the second rope with a Moonsault into a Reverse DDT! He takes a second to shake the cobwebs out before going for a cover. 1 2 No!!! Parka kicks out. *************************** *************************** Parka is up at the same time as Jamie and looks even more pissed. Parka locks up and then goes for a Hip Toss, but Jamie flips through it and lands on his feet before leaping up onto Parka's shoulders for a Hurricanrana. Parka manages to shove Jamie off before he can do the move and Jamie lands on his feet. Parka then goes for a punch, but Jamie ducks. Then Parka goes for a sweep, but Jamie hops over it. Parka then goes for a Spinning Heel Kick, but Jamie does a Matrix backbend to avoid it! YEAHHHHHH!!!! COLE The fans are loving this exchange and so am I. CABOOSE Me too. COACH Me four! COLE ........ CABOOSE ........ *************************** *************************** Parka stumbles around only to receive a Spinning Heel Kick to the face that knocks him on top of the Spanish announce table. COLE Oh no...now what? Jame then climbs onto the apron, slingshots onto the top rope, and then bounces off with an Inverted 450! But Parka moves and Jamie crashes through the table!!!! COLE, CABOOSE, & COACH HOLY SHIT!!!!!! *************************** Climax flashbacks over and backstage we go, to Josh Matthews who is standing by with Jamie O'Hara. The Upstarts' King Of Bling and/or Sting casually sits on an anvil case, removing the headphones of his iPod from his ears as he sees the footage of him end. MATTHEWS Holy expletitive deleted, indeed! Jamie, I've gotta say, that was one HELL of a performance you put on last Sunday night. Almost a show-stealing performance infact! O'HARA Almost? Dawg, any time I steps inta that squared circle, everything before me and all after me, they just can't measure up! There ain't no show like the Big J-OH! MATTHEWS Well, your perfomance certainly opened some eyes. But, it wasn't enough to capture the X-Division Championship from The Parka, although you came closer than anyone Parka has faced to date. O'HARA Damn skippy. But that ain't enough for me, J.Math. Aw no! I ain't done, not by a loooong shot. I ain't done wit'chu, Parka, I ain't done at all. I pinned yo' punk ass to that canvas, 1, 2, 3. You hear that Parka? 1. 2. 3. And you know that, man. I OWNED you at Climax boi! The only thing I'm missin' is a little bling bling around my waist, like you know I deserve. An' I ain't gonna stop until I got that belt, over my shoulder, 'round my waist, holding my stash. Man, dat belt's gonna me earn me some serious cred. An' no masked jive sucka like 'The Parka' gonna keep me down. I'm'a rise like a Pheonix, outta the ashes, cover you in gashes, foo' you ain't nothin' I'll beat you down with mah elbow smashes! That title's mine P. You forgettin', I beat Alix Spezia! Nobody beats dat' ho, 'cept me! And you're next P. I'm comin' for dat title and this time, there ain't gonna be no bulls*bleep* decisions screwin' me over! I'm'a win this. I'm'a be the best X-Division Champ dis' company's ever seen! Bet on it...HOLLA! O'Hara strides off, leaving J.Math to wrap things up. "Word Up" by Korn begins to play and a mixed reaction goes up from the crowd. COLE Last week these three men, these triplets, challenged the winners of the 6-Man Tag Tournament to a match and I'm not sure they realized what they were getting into. COACH You might be right. Tonight they have to face Brock Ausstin and Team Heyross. COLE We'll see what they're made of. CABOOSE We'll also see if they can even cut it in the OAOAST. Nick, Rick, and Dick Garner walk out onto the stage as the spotlights flash in rhythm with the music. The all have their hoods down and simultaneously pull them down before lifting three fingers each into the air. BUFFER This match is scheduled for one fall and is for the 6-Man Tag Team Titles! Introducing first, from Green Bay, Wisconsin. They are the first Triplet Tag Team in wrestling history, at a combined weight of 675 pounds....NICK, RICK, AND DICK GARNER....THE TRIPLE THREAT!!!! The three of them walk to the ring looking quite smug with the honor of being the first triplet tag team. They gloat to a few fans who don't look that impressed, but a few girls give them a smile. COLE These guys are so full of themselves. COACH They can't help that they're good. CABOOSE You haven't even seen them wrestle Coach! They all enter the ring and pose on the turnbuckles to yet a still mixed reaction. COLE The fans don't quite know what to make of this team yet. Their music dies down and is replaced by a cold, dark voice that speaks an ungodly hymn over the loud speakers, as smoke begins to cover the entrance way. "Come on God, Answer Me. For Years, I've Been Asking You Why? Why are the Innocent Dead and the Guilty Alive? Where is Justice? Where is Punishment? . . . . . . . . . . . Or Have You Already Answered? Have You Already Said to the World, Here is Justice. Here is Punishment. Here.... In Me." "Punishment" by BIOHAZARD starts up. BOOOOOO!!!!! CABOOSE Well the fans know what to think of these guys. Brock and Team Heyross walk out onto the stage alone with Rick Heyross. The fans boo as Heyross smirks and the champs hold their titles into the air. Brock does the "Happy Happy Hoss Dance~!" before heading to the ring. BUFFER Introducing next. They are the first 6-Man Tag Team Champions in OAOAST history. Being accompanied to the ring by Rick Heyross. They represent Stevens and Heyross Incorporated. At a total combined weight of 800 pounds. The team of BROCK AUSSTIN AND TEAM HEYROSS!!!!! COLE 800 pounds? Wow! COACH Isn't that how much your girl weighs Cole? CABOOSE Now now Coach we both know Cole doesn't date women. Brock hops up onto the apron and the Garner brothers look at each other looking impressed and give Brock a golf clap in response. COACH Heh...I like these guys. COLE Coach just said he likes guys!! CABOOSE Don't try to take the focus off yourself Cole you still like guys too. COLE Can we just call the match? Brock and Team Heyross enter the ring and look their opponents over. COLE S.H.I. is going to have to keep a close eye on The Triple Threat because I'm sure they'll try and use the indentical looks factor to their advantage. COACH Guilty until proven innocent huh Cole? Triple Threat has a huddle in the corner while Team Heyross and Brock stretch in their corner. Finally the Garners break their huddle and Nick stays in the ring while the other two exit. On the other side Quentin Benjamin starts. *DING DING DING* COLE Here we go. We get our first glimpse of the Triple Threat and our first defense of the 6-Man Tag Titles. COACH Which one of the triplets is that starting the match? CABOOSE Damned if I know. Why don't they have their names on their tights? COLE I'm being told that Nick is set to start the match, but from there on out we're on our own. Quentin and Nick lock up and fight for control. Quentin drives Nick to his knees, but Nick manages to power back up and finally locks in a side headlock. Quentin shoves him off towards the ropes and as he bounces back Quentin goes for a Hip Toss, but Nick blocks it and rams his knee into Quentin's gut. Nick then double underhooks the arms and hits a Double Underhook Backbreaker and goes for a cover. 1 2 No!! COLE Nice move by Nick Garner. COACH We're told from scouting reports that Nick likes to attack his opponent's back, Rick likes to attack the neck, and Dick likes to attack... COLE The dick? COACH No the legs Cole...the legs. CABOOSE Hahahaha! COACH They're a combined wrecking machine. Picking their opponents apart piece by piece is what the scouting reports say. Nick pulls Quentin up and locks in an Arm Wringer before bringing him to the Triple Threat corner and tagging in Dick. Dick springboards off the top with a Double Axe Handle to the arm and then grabs his own Arm Wringer before taking Quentin down with an Armdrag and going for a cover. 1 2 No!! COLE They work well as a team. COACH Of course...they're brothers. Charlie Moss started to enter the ring, but he stopped when Quentin kicked out. The ref saw him and walked over to admonish him. Using the momentary distraction Dick pulls Quentin into his corner and all three of the Garners perform The Mugging on Quentin! COACH Clubberin'!! There be clubberin'!! COLE Okay Dusty that's enough. The ref turns around in time to catch them and runs over to yell at them. They all hold their hands up in innocence and it is enough time for Quentin to start firing off shots of his own. He fights his way free of the corner and makes a run for his own corner. Before he can get close enough Dick lunges at his feet and catches Quentin. He then pulls him back into the middle of the ring and drops an elbow onto Quentin's right leg. COLE There's that leg work. Dick does it two more times before pulling Quentin into his corner by the leg and tagging in Rick. The two of them pull Quentin to his feet and perform a Double Irish Whip. Quentin explodes off the ropes with a Clothesline that takes both Rick and Dick off their feet and then he lunges into his corner to make the tag to Charlie Moss. COACH Benjamin finally makes the tag. CABOOSE Yeah but there's still two men in the ring for the Triple Threat. Moss thinks quick and tosses Dick out over the top rope and goes for a Superkick to the standing Rick. Rick catches the kick and quickly pulls him into a Clothesline, but Moss gets his hands up and blocks the blow. Moss shoves Rick off and peppers him with right hands to the face. Once he has him stunned he whips him to the ropes and catches him with an Overhead Belly to Belly Throw on his way back. COLE Good counter by Moss. COACH He needs to keep on him. Moss meets Rick as he stands with a lock up and a Snap Mare. Moss then nails a Low Dropkick to the back of Rick's head! COLE That was just vicious. CABOOSE You don't become the 6-Man Tag Champs by being nice. Moss then follows it up with a quick Legdrop and a cover. 1 2 No!! Nick makes the save. COLE Nick...I think...making the save for his team. Moss slows things down a bit by locking in a Reverse Chinlock and cranking back on it. However, Moss is too close to the Triple Threat corner and Nick reaches out and smacks him on the back of the head. Moss lets go of the hold and makes a move towards Nick, but the ref steps in the way. Moss turns back around just in time to catch a European Uppercut that knocks him against the ropes. COLE Moss is letting Nick get to him. COACH Are you sure that's Nick? CABOOSE Let's just assume it was. Rick then whips Moss across the ring and tags in Nick, who springboards off the top rope and nails a Missile Dropkick as Moss bounces back. COLE The impact of that Dropkick almost sent Moss all the way back across the ring! As Moss stands back up Nick locks up with him again and whips him into the corner. Nick then goes for a Handspring Elbow into the corner, but Moss catches him, turns around, and nails a Backdrop Suplex before going for a cover. 1 2 No!! Dick makes the save. COLE Either Rick or Dick with the save for the Triple Threat. COACH Just pick one. Moss makes his way over to his corner and tags in Brock. BOOOOOOO!!!! Brock comes in with a smile on his face and Nick looks worried. Nick quickly runs up the turnbuckles and leaps off the top rope with a High Cross Body, but Brock catches him and puts him on his shoulders. COLE Oh no! Brock could finish this match right here! Brock looks ready to go for the F-Stunner-5 as Heyross cheers him on, but Dick rushes into the ring and hits a Chop Block on the back of Brock's knee, causing Nick to fall on top of Brock for a cover. Dick quickly slides out of the other side of the ring as the ref chases him out. 1 2 No!! COLE Quick thinking by I think Dick Garner. Nick quickly tags out to Rick, who scales the turnbuckles to the top. Rick then points at Brock and gets a goofy grin. COACH Don't waste time! Rick then leaps off with a Swanton Bomb, but Brock moves and Rick crashes and burns. COLE You were right Coach! CABOOSE Rick should not have tried that so early on Brock. COLE Yes and that was definitely Rick as the Swanton is one of his signatures. Brock pulls Rick to his feet and nails a vicious Short Arm Clothesline that knocks Rick for a loop! Brock begins to laugh along with Heyross as Rick tries to inch towards his corner. Brock sees him making a move and pulls him by his leg over to the S.H.I. corner and then tags to Quentin. Brock and Quentin pull Rick back up and whip him across the ring. As he comes back they hit a Double Team Clothesline followed up by Stereo Elbow Drops! COLE Brock and Benjamin showing that they too can double team. COACH Duh. Quentin goes for a cover. 1 2 No!! Nick makes the save. As Nick returns to the apron Quentin nails him with a High Dropkick that sends him crashing to the floor! COLE Whoa! Quentin Benjamin with a cheap shot! Nick had his back turned! COACH That was his mistake. Never turn your back on a member of S.H.I. CABOOSE Never turn your back on any opponent! Dick takes offense and tries to enter the ring, but the ref stops him. As the ref is distracted Quentin pulls Rick over to the S.H.I. corner and all three men start wailing on him with punches and forearms. Brock even chokes Rick with the tag rope. COLE A little payback from earlier. Just as the ref turns back around Brock lets go and Rick falls to one knee. Quentin then pulls him back up and whips him across the ring. As he comes back Quentin catches him with a Powerslam and makes a cover. 1 2 No!! Dick makes the save! COLE As long as one member of the team is still able he will make the save. That's what is so much mor difficult about 6-Man tag matches. You have one more man to worry about. Quentin then tags out to Moss and the two of them pull Rick to his feet. They whip him across the ring and then nail a Double Team Hip Toss into a Double Team Backbreaker across their knees. Rick holds his back in pain as Quentin exits the ring and Moss goes for a cover. 1 2 No!! Dick makes the save again!! COLE Brock and Team Heyross are going to have to do something about that third man if they expect to get a win. Dick heads for the apron only to meet Brock, who has ran around the ring, and he pulls Dick to the floor. Brock then pulls him onto his shoulder and signals for the F-Stunner-5! COLE Oh my God not on the floor! COACH I guess he heard you. CABOOSE On the floor or against the ring post...either way it won't be good for the Triple Threat. Brock goes for the move, but Nick has gotten his wits about him again and pulls Dick off of Brock's shoulders. The two of them then boot Brock to the gut and hit him with a Double Team Vertical Suplex on the floor! COLE The Triple Threat have countered Brock's attempt to Pearl Harbor them! COACH And this is giving Rick a chance to rest! Moss was watching from inside the ring. Moss tries to go to the outside, but the ref blocks his way and then yells at everyone to get back to their corners. Rick has recovered and catches Moss from behind with an Inverted Hurricanrana that spikes Moss right on his head! COACH Damn!! CABOOSE Brock's plan backfired. Heyross is going crazy on the outside as Rick goes for a cover. 1 2 No!! Quentin makes the save! COLE They forgot about Benjamin! As Quentin is going back to his corner Rick hits a running Knee to the back of his head and sends him flying out of the ring through the ropes! COLE A taste of their own medicine! COACH Yeah baby! CABOOSE Calm down Coach. Rick then makes a tag to Dick and he catches a standing Moss with a Double Leg Takedown and then sets him up for a Catapult by the ropes. Dick catapults Moss into the ropes so that he bounces off and falls back against Dick's upturned knees! As Moss lies there draped across Dick's knees Rick runs in and nails him across the throat with an Elbow Drop! Moss flips over and to the mat as Rick exits the ring and Dick goes for a cover. 1 2 3!! No!! Moss kicks out!! COLE There was no one to save him that time! Moss was just barely able to kick out! COACH What a great double team by the Triple Threat! CABOOSE Yes I have to admit they've got the teamwork down pat. Dick looks around the ring at Brock and Quentin lying on the floor in pain and gets a grin on his face before pointing to his corner and and nodding at his brothers. He then lifts three fingers in the air and they all nod in agreement. COLE What are they planning? COACH I have no idea. Dick pulls Moss into position in the corner and tags in Nick. Nick climbs to the top rope and hits a Top Rope Leg Drop! Nick then tags out to Rick and holds Moss down by the head. COLE What are they planning? Rick then climbs the turnbuckles, but Brock is up and shoves Rick off the top to the mat! Nick goes to attack Brock, but he moves and catches Nick by the head. Brock then snaps Nick's neck across the top rope, sending Nick back down to the mat. COLE The Triple Threat took too long in trying that triple move. COACH Yeah, but if they had hit it we would have had new champions already! CABOOSE That is why you can never take your eyes off of Brock Ausstin! Dick hops down off the apron and goes after Brock as the ref exits the ring to stop him. Dick chases him around the ring, but as he rounds the corner Heyross trips Dick. The ref yells at him, but Heyross claims it was an accident. COLE That was no accident. CABOOSE There's no way you could know that. Inside the ring Moss and Benjamin shove Nick out of the ring and pull Rick up to his feet. Quentin hits the Orange Crush on Rick and then pulls him to the middle of the ring where Moss locks in the Mossy Knoll. COLE The Mossy Knoll right in the middle of the ring!! COACH This isn't good. Heyross tells the ref to get back in the ring and he slides back in just in time to see Rick tapping out. *DING DING DING* COLE The tactics of S.H.I. were just too great! CABOOSE That was a well fought match though. I'm impressed by the Triple Threat. BUFFER Here are your winners and still 6-Man Tag Team Champions....THE TEAM OF BROCK AUSSTIN AND TEAM HEYROSS!!!!! BOOOOOOO!!!!! COLE Like Caboose said the Triple Threat showed us something tonight and I have a feeling they are here to stay just like they said. CABOOSE It's good to be right and right now it's good to be Brock Ausstin and Team Heyross as they're still the champs. Heyross collects the belts and hands them out to his men as the hold them above their heads and walk to the back. Inside the ring Nick and Dick check on Rick who is lying on the mat in pain. Heyross and company laugh at their misfortune one last time before Team Heyross heads back through the entryway, leaving Rick and Brock Ausstin in the ring. Nick and Dick help Rick to his feet and out of the ring. After they clear the area, Brock walks over to Buffer and rips the microphone out of his hand. COACH He' got a microphone, Cole! Brock Ausstin with something to say, not often you get to hear from the big guy! Brock picks the mic up to his face as the crowd boos. BROCK I got something real important to say right now, and it considers the status of Stevens/Heyross Incorporated, so all you people need to sit down and shut up! *crowd boos* BROCK As you know, this past Sunday at Climax, Chris Stevens went into a Christmas Deathmatch with Alfdogg and lost the OAOAST Heartland title back to him. *crowd cheers* BROCK And it was DESPITE the fact that Alfdogg had a match earlier in the night, and DESPITE me and Charlie and Quentin wearing him down. Well, you know something, Chris? I had Alf right where I wanted him around the time of World Without End. He was wearing down, fighting me, and you, and Jay, and he was ripe for the picking, and I was going to be tending to the garden. Then you came along, and you wanted us to join up with you and Riff-Raff and Mongo, (some fans can be heard laughing) and you said WE were going to get the title off of Alfdogg. And as usual, you were the only one who benefitted from this genius plan. But *I* was the one who made it happen, Chris. Who was it that lowered the boom at WWE, after all of you guys couldn't keep him down? It was ME. Who got the pin on Alf at November Reign? It was ME. The three of us have been carrying this outfit since it began, and now, which trio has gold around their waists? *Brock points to his waist* BROCK That's exactly right. *Brock hands the mic off to Rick Heyross.* COLE Chris Stevens, of course, at home recovering from that match, as is the new champion, Alfdogg. HEYROSS And do you know WHY they have the gold, boys? Because they beat the three men who wiped the MATS with the three of you just weeks prior! YOU made the deal, YOU didn't hold up to YOUR end. Well, guess what? The deal is OFF! We've got gold, and the three of you are getting a different color, that being PINK! Namely, your PINK SLIPS, effective immediately! Chris, you, and your two lackeys, you're all FIRED!!! COACH WOW. COLE Well, it's official now, Stevens/Heyross Incorporated is no more! *Brock takes the mic back.* BROCK And rest assured, Alf, that title is coming back to the fold, and this time, it'll get done the RIGHT way, like it should have been done the FIRST time. *Brock tosses the mic to the side as Punishment by Biohazard hits and Brock and Heyross leave the ring.* (We go backstage where Calvin is sifting through some papers when Parka walks in.) CALVIN Ah Parka I've been wanting to talk to you. PARKA What's up boss? CALVIN I know you're not going to like this, but I'm giving you the night off. PARKA What? Why? CALVIN I saw the match that you went through at Climax and I know you need some rest. You've been going all out week after week since you won that title and now your ribs are hurt. I care about the talent that I oversee and that's why I'm giving you the night off. PARKA Fine. CALVIN Now in two weeks when we return to TV you will have a match. So enjoy the Holidays and take it easy. PARKA I can do that. (Parka turns to walk out and comes face to face with a very pissed off looking Jamie O'Hara) O'HARA Going somewheres man? PARKA Yeah I'm going back to the locker room to enjoy the rest of the show. Now if you don't mind move out of the way. O'HARA Oh I don't think so punk! I'm not movin' till you give me a rematch boi!! PARKA A rematch? Fine...you've got it. Believe me I'd like another chance to shut your mouth. That Draw stung me as much as it did you because I know I can beat you. O'HARA Oh....ho ho.......hahaha.....that's funny. Maybe yo mem'ry aint so sharp. I hit you wit Da Bling Thing, but the ref was taking a siesta so I got robbed dawg! PARKA Oh my memory is quite sharp...dawg! You were the one who took the ref out in the first place, so you have no one to blame but yourself. O'HARA Okay...okay...I can admit my mistakes. But da fact is this, I pinned yo ass in the middle of the ring. My shoulders may have been down too, but that don't change a thing! PARKA Well I guess we're even then going into this rematch. One win a piece I guess you could say. O'HARA Well then it's all gravy. After I beat you at Anglepalooza I'll go on to win the Rumble and become both X-Division Champ and OAOAST Champ! PARKA Funny you mention the Rumble because I'm in it too. O'HARA Oh is dat right? Well let me shake yo hand. (O'Hara grabs Parka's hand and shakes it in a really overly done way.) PARKA Yeah laugh it up now kid, but when I beat you in our match AND toss you over the top rope in the Rumble you won't be laughing anymore. O'HARA Whatever...you just promise me you won't go off and retire again once I beat you and throw you out of the Rumble. PARKA That's not going to happen. O'HARA Then I'll see you at Anglepalooza. Peace out Skullface! (O'Hara walks out of the office leaving Parka looking a bit pissed as we fade to a break.) Commercial break Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted December 23, 2005 COLE What a night it was last night guys, but hampered by the result of the Main Event. COACH What do you mean, it was great! Stephen is still the champion! CABOOSE I like Axel, and I like what he did to Stephen Joseph, but he cost Peter Knight the title, and from where I’m sitting, that just isn’t right. COLE Well, General Manager Calvin Szechstein has this time to discuss this very matter, as well as Axel’s punishment! "Three-two-one, I'M THE BOMB!" Electric Six’s “I’m the Bomb” begins blaring over the loudspeakers, and the crowd give it a healthy pop, as the General Manager makes his way out to the ring. COLE Calvin cannot be as happy as he looked earlier when he made that huge Tag Team Lethal Rumble announcement. He booked the Climax Pay Per View last night, and it was a hell of an event, but as we said, it was hampered by a Disqualification in the title match, with Stephen Joseph unfortunately retaining the belt. Flanked by OAOAST Security, Calvin Szechstein enters the ring, clipboard in one hand, microphone in the other. BUFFER Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome the GENERAL MANAGER of the One and ONLY Anglesault Thread… CAAAALLLLVVVIIIIINNN SSZEEECHSTEEEEEIIIINNNN!! CABOOSE So I’ve got ten bucks on Axel being suspended. COLE You’re on. “I’m the Bomb” dies down, and Calvin brings the microphone to his lips, causing the crowd to die down, and listen. CALVIN Last Sunday night, Climax, was the culmination of a great year for the OAOAST. We’ve had so many highlights, from the Lethal Rumble at the start of the year, to AngleMania, to Tables, Ladders and Chairs, to yours truly being appointed General Manager. Overall, 2005 has been one hell of a year for this company, and we’re only getting started! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH!” COLE Damn right. “O-A-O! O-A-O!” The fans’ chants fill the arena, and Calvin stops for a second to let the crowd have its fun. CALVIN But last Sunday night was hampered; it was ruined by the actions of one individual. One individual ruined the Main Event of Climax, the title match. MY title match. One individual ruined all my plans, and screwed each and every one of you by doing it. Management has been on my ass the entire week asking me to fix this. So, I’ve fixed it. You see, next week, along with your usual HeldDown, the OAOAST will hold a special event live from Charleston, South Carolina. It will be the OAOAST’s New Years Spectacular, and it has one hell of a Main Event. You see, in the contract for the Climax title match, it states that if Peter Knight loses, then he is not allowed a title shot for all of Two Thousand Six. But, it never says anything about him not getting another title shot before the end of Two Thousand Five. So next week, live, in this very ring, it will be Stephen Joseph defending the OAOAST Championship in a rematch of Sunday night’s Main Event, against Peter Knight! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAHHHH!!!” CABOOSE YES! COLE Wow. What a match! The New Years Spectacular next week live! CALVIN Now… on to Axel. “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEBOOOOOYEEEEEEEEEEEEBOOYEEEEEEEEEEAH!” This would be about the most accurate description of the reaction that Axel received from the crowd, who still love the guy, but dislike his actions on Sunday night. CALVIN Axel, you ruined MY Pay Per View Main Event. Ever since you came back you’ve been dodging authority, walking around and doing whatever you want, whenever you want. Attacking guys, interfering in matches. It stops now. Axel, I am ordering your sorry ass out to this ring to face the music. COLE Strong words from the General Manager, calling Axel out! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMM!!! “I’M ON A HIGH!” Millionaire’s first single hits over the loudspeakers as Axel appears at the top of the entrance ramp. The crowd pop huge for the appearance of one of their favourites, momentarily forgetting his actions on Sunday night, as its an entrance, they have to pop. Dressed in casual attire, the usual jeans, plus a red ‘TapOut’ T-Shirt, Axel slaps a couple hands, and steps into the ring. He too has a clipboard and a microphone, and it’s clear he has something very important to discuss. The music dies down, and Calvin begins to address the former two-time champion. CALVIN Axel, last Sunday night, you made a mis- AXEL WOAH. Stop right there boss man. I’ve made a mistake huh? I bet you think I just made another one by interrupting you. Well sorry to mess with your vegetables G-M, but the only mistake that was made was by you for sanctioning a title match without me in it. I told everyone last week that I wasn’t happy, and it just so happened I took it out on one Stephen Joseph. And hey, who in this arena WOULDN’T hit Stephen Joseph in the head with a chair if given the chance? “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAHHHH!!!!!!!” CALVIN That might be Axel, but you ruined MY MAIN EVENT! You screwed with the wrong guy. Now, you have to face the consequences of your actions. AXEL Give it to me, boss man. “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!” COLE Axel had better tread lightly here, he might get a bigger punishment that first thought! CALVIN You wanna be smart? Alright, lets see how smart you are now. I am hereby placing you under suspension for ninety days… WITHOUT Pay. COLE WOW. CABOOSE He had it coming guys. He was being a smartass out here. The crowd boo, not necessarily Calvin for making the decision, but just the decision as a whole. What surprises most is Axel’s reaction. He isn’t angry, annoyed, flipping out, but instead, he’s calm, collected, and…. Laughing? COLE Wha-what’s Axel so happy about all of a sudden? CALVIN Do you want to explain to me why you’re laughing? AXEL Calvin, Calvin, Calvin. Do you really think I’d be stupid enough to screw management without anything to protect me? CALVIN …What are you talking about? AXEL Okay. I’ll tell you and all these OAOAST fans a little story. You see, when I went off into the world of mixed martial arts, the OAOAST started losing money. Big stars up and left. Buyrates started plummeting. Management was so desperate to get me back in front of an OAOAST banner that they pretty much gave me whatever clauses I wanted in my contract. They were so damn desperate to sign me back to a long term deal that they didn’t even consider what clauses I put in. You see Cal; I was always a mark for Mick Foley’s contract bag o’ tricks, so I put some stuff in my contract that was similar. One of those clauses was that I cannot be suspended, made inactive or fired by anyone but OAOAST President Bill Watts. That means you have no power over me Cal. Oh, and don’t try going all Bischoff and punishing me with a ten-on-one handicap either, because I’ve got the power to veto any one of the matches that I’m booked in. If the OAOAST was the United Nations, I’d be America. “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!” COLE Axel playing politics! Calvin had no idea! CABOOSE This is big. No one’s ever had that much power in their contract before. Calvin stands in front of Axel, perplexed at what he’s hearing, and visibly irate that he wasn’t informed. AXEL Oh, and another thing Cal, this one’s just for you. One of the clauses in my contract gives me the power to challenge for one title at any event of my choosing. Now, those are the exact words of the contract. Being the legal connoisseur that I am, the word ‘title’ can be interpreted as ‘championship’, but also as ‘position’. So, I’m using my clause for the good of the company here. Next week, at that New Years Spectacular you announced, its going to be Calvin Szechstein stepping back into the ring, and putting his General Manager’s position on the line against… me. Axel. The OAOAST’s Most Dangerous Man. COLE WHAT? COACH A match for the General Manager’s position? THAT’S HUGE NEWS! NEXT WEEK HERE LIVE! Calvin, now speechless, looks down at his clipboard, looks at then fans… and SPEARS AXEL DOWN! COLE Calvin is attacking Axel! The two men roll around on the canvas trading blows, and jockeying for position. Calvin gets to his feet, and the two go at it again, trading right hands. Calvin’s security storms the ring to try and break it apart, but they have no such luck, as Calvin boots Axel in the stomach and waves them off! Calvin with the standing bodyscissors – attempting the Clash! COLE Calvin’s going for the Code Red Cla- but Axel escaped! Axel does indeed escape the bodyscissors, taking Calvin down and trying a heel hook, but Calvin grabs the ropes and escapes out of the ring! CABOOSE Both men tried to put the other away, but neither could finish the job! There won’t be any running next week! COLE What high stakes for the New Years Spectacular! We could see the beginning of two new eras! Axel trying to become General Manager, Peter Knight trying to become OAOAST Champion! And we’ve only just gotten started tonight! COLE Let's go backstage, where Josh Matthews is standing by with the reigning OAOAST Women's Champion, Ashley Street! (Cut backstage, where Josh and Ashley are at the HeldDOWN~! Interview Set) JOSH This past Sunday night, our guest at this time defended her World Women's Title AND unmasked that damn Benefactor to reveal that it was CRYSTAL of all people who had put the bounty out on Jenny Adams' head! What're your plans now that the truth is out? ASHLEY Well, Joshua...I helped reveal to the world how much of a coward Crystal is, and I got to kick her skull in while I was at it. So, I figure my part of the revenge is complete. I'm handing over Crystal to Jenny, so Jenny can give out Crystal's rightful punishment for the crap she pulled. I mean, if Jenny wants my help, I'll be more than happy to give it to her. Otherwise, I gotta move on. JOSH In that case, what are your plans for January 29th, 2005; as the OAOAST presents Anglepalooza, live on Pay-Per-View? ASHLEY Funny you should ask...I just got out of a meeting with OAOAST officials where we all determined that I'm gonna defend my coveted OAOAST World Women's Championship in a Six-Way Survival Scramble match. I'll prove to the entire world that I am the finest wrestler of my gender, and of any gender, by defending against and hopefully defeating five other top, world-class competitors in the same match! JOSH Any clue who your opponents shall be? ASHLEY Well, what they decided on doing, since competition here is so stiff, is that they're going to put the top ten contenders to my belt in a lottery ball hopper, and the first five names drawn out will be my opponents. JOSH That sounds like fun. Now, next week, before the names are drawn, you're set for a non-title bout with the wrestler in our next bout: Confusia. Any thoughts? ASHLEY Well, she's a few marbles short of a full bag, but I've seen her in the OAOAST and in other groups, and she's very impressive, maybe even moreso than she's been able to show off here so far. I look forward to a good match, but I'm gonna beat her. Now, if you'll excuse me, I want to watch this match... (Ashley turns around to a monitor, that shows Confusia running around the ring in the arena with an enhancement talent inside of it, as we cut to that shot.) COLE Confusia's opponent for this match, as announced to the crowd during that interview, is Morgan Edwards from Salt Lake City, Utah. Looks like an even size match-up here. ::BELL RINGS:: Confusia slides into the ring and runs the ropes, for seemingly no reason. Morgan stands there, looking dumbfounded. After the fifth trip back and forth for Confusia, Morgan charges forward and goes for a clothesline...but Confusia ducks it. Morgan throws a back elbow, but Confusia ducks that. Confusia comes off of the ropes...and nearly knocks Morgan's head off with a Yakuza kick! Confusia pulls Edwards up and forearms her in the face, then shoots her off to the ropes. Confusia connects with a rolling wheel kick as Edwards comes off of the ropes, then comes to her feet, leaps to the second rope, and hits a Lionsault. COLE It looks like Confusia isn't working by the hour! Confusia pulls Edwards up and hits a head-droppy side slam-type suplex. Confusia then goes to the corner, does a headstand (ala Ultimo Dragon), then comes down and nails an Arabian Press! Confusia pulls Edwards up rather than pin her, positions Morgan, yells "UNCANNY ILLUSION HAMMER!", lifts Morgan over her shoulder, and drives her down to the mat with her Whirlybird into the Ace Crusher!! Confusia's going for the cover... ONE! TWO! THREE! BUFFER Your winner...CONFUSIA! Confusia gets up, and screams towards the heavens! She then stands over Morgan's unconcious body...and spews black mist down upon her face! Confusia makes the "belt around waist" hand motion, then slides out of the ring and runs around it! Cut back to the shot of Ashley Street watching on from backstage...then a "CRASH!" is heard in the background! The camera pans around, as the cameraman runs around, trying to find what's happening. He catches a sea of officials far off, as he runs towards them to get a better shot. We see Brodie Lewis, beating down the referees and suits one-by-one, tossing them into walls and punching them all in the face. BRODIE I want A (BLEEP)IN' TITLE SHOT! Give me one! A group of cops run by the cameraman and basically tackle her into a wall, then handcuff her and drag her off, as she's still screaming about the OAOAST Women's Title... FADE TO BLACK It was one of the most action-packed nights in OAOAST history....and one of the most controversial. Order the replay, all this week. COLE Folks, I understand that Terry Taylor is with NRG, who made no friends when they attacked the Sk8er Boiz this past Sunday at Climaxx. (We go backstage where Taylor, dressed in a fire engine red shirt, and gaudy green pants, to celebrate the season is standing next to Flex and Biff. Both men are shirtless to show off their majestic bodies.) TERRY Terry Taylor backstage with the OAOAST's newest tag team, NRG. Boy howdy am I glad to see you guys. Normally they make me deal with these two crazy girls. You've seen them. There's Alix. She's wild, but she's got a boyfriend to keep her busy now. Tell ya what, I don't envy him at all. I'd hate to be the one that has to wakeup next to her in the morning when all her makeup's off. Honestly, I think he might be as dumb as she is. And the other one is really smart, but she's just plain mean. You're in the fitness industry, you probably know her real well. She has all these exercise videos out. You've been around the fitness circuit, I heard she was a Miss California. But she's really fallen off the wagon, eh. She still looks good, but you can tell she's thirty four these days. But they both treat me like dirt, and I am sick of it. Terry Taylor is not dirt, damn it! Terry Taylor is a human being! One day someone's gonna push Terry Taylor a bit to far, and their gonna find out just how much Terry Taylor can push back! I'll show up with a machine gun, and it'll be chuga-chuga-chuga, swiss cheese all around. Grrrrr. One of these days. One day, one day, one too many days. BIFF We didn't RSVP to no pity party, hippy! Get to the point before I get to the beating! (Biff starts pounding his fist into his palm.) TERRY Speaking of um beatings, what about what you did to the Sk8er Boiz backstage at Climax? You basically disrespected former tag team champions on your very first show in the company. FLEX Did you say champions, Terry Taylor? I hope you didn't. Because the definition of champion is one that is clearly superior or has the attributes of a winner. What about those limp wristed little girls says winner to you? Am I missing something? Am I not looking deep enough or long enough? Because all I see is the appearance of two losers who pulled out fluke win after fluke win on their way to having one of the most forgettable tag team title reigns in the OAOAST's history. This does not scream champion to me! This screams loser so loud, I have to jam my fingers into my ears to shut out the noise. And I heard they entered themseleves into the Anderson Cup. How lovely. They oughta withdraw because with NRG in the tournament, their chances of winning are between slim and none, and slim just left the building. But these skater children, that's what they are, these mere boys, these sex objects for thousands of eleven year old girls who are well on their way to mothering three children by three different father's by age of seventeen, have latched onto the hottest selling line of sports drinks on the globe, NRG! I'll tell you this Terry Taylor, I am not having it. My partner, Biff, is not having it! We warned them once, but they continue to flaunt their unwanted affiliation in our faces at every opportunity. Earlier today, I saw them at the airport wearing NRG sweat shirts while signing autographs for a group of middle school girls! I promise you we would've exposed everyone in that airport to horrific bloodshed, had there not been a collection of men in army fatigues holding rifles, and guns and possibly grenades. Damn counter terrorism measures. Terry Taylor, they are taking the NRG name and using it for their own personal gain. That is unacceptable. Look at it from our point of view. Would you want someone running around going “I'm the red rooster! Gobble Gobble! Wobble Gobble! Dobble gobble wobble fobble mobble gobble bobble lobble pobble! Ah'm da red roooooostahhhhh, errrrrbodaaaay!” TERRY Why, Jesus? Why do must I endure such humiliation? (Biff starts growling, as drool seeps out from the corner of his mouth) TERRY Uh....what is that you want from Marvin and Mel? FLEX Terry Taylor, our objective is so simple that even someone from (checks writing on hand) Hartford could understand. “BOOOOO!” FLEX Is this what they call “cheap heat”? Surprisingly easy, and addictive fun! Let's try again. Hartford, your men are lacking in quality of appearance and your women's breath reeks of penis that does not belong to their husbands! “BOOOOO!” FLEX Hartford, I wish to make amends! I wrote you a poem. Roses are red. Violets are Blue. When I think of you I want to go poo. “BOOOOOOO!” FLEX I could do that all day. Terry Taylor, what we want out of the bastard love children of Tony Hawk and Aaron Carter is clear. Just like President Bill Clinton, a current client, denied sexual relations with that cow Monica Lewinsky, we want the Boiz to deny ingestion of NRG products! Put plainly, we want them to go on national TV and denounce NRG! Bury our products! Put them six feet under like a bad HBO drama! If you don't I'll put more bullets in you then the Soprano's. The jury won't think twice before sending me off to Oz. Biff, I can tell you want to talk, but please curb your enthusiasm. TAYLOR I'm almost afraid to ask, but let's hear your thoughts Biff. BIFF I'll die bleeding before I let the Sk8er Bois ever endorse NRG again. I'd carve up my own bitch of a mother from head to toe and use her bloody scalp as a Frisbee, before I let them ever say the name NRG! TERRY Hahahahhaa! Working in the OAOAST, I hear some pretty stupid things. But this takes the cake! Thanks for the good laugh, fellas. Are you two crazy? You're getting free publicity! Your product is getting mentioned on TV...for free! Of course it's on a show no one in their right mind would ever watch but it's free! You're loco! FLEX Maybe we are. Maybe we aren't. But you're certainly a few coked out underage skanks short of a whore house if you think you're going to get away with talking to us like that. Biff, fry this chicken. BIFF Shake my hand, hippy. TERRY Huh? Why? Is your last name Spezia by any chance? BIFF Shake my hand, hippy. TERRY Okay...sure. (A firm handshake is exchanged between the two, Terry sweating bullets, Biff showing no emotion) BIFF Thanks, hippy. I've never shook hands with a dead man before. (Suddenly Biff rocks Taylor with a stiff clothesline! The announcer folds up like origami, groaning in agony. A group of wrestlers pass by the scene, but are more concerned with the free eggnog at the snack cart then with helping Terry. Foaming at the mouth, Biff puts the boots to the announcer) BIFF Stomp him! Switch feet! Stomp him! Switch again! (After thirty seconds passes, Flex finally interjects himself into the brutish proceedings.) FLEX Biff, Biffster, Bifferino, Biffy The Rooster Slayer, relax. The clothesline was fine. But don't you think the stomps are a wee bit overkill? BIFF That sounds like hippy talk to me. Are you going hippy on me? FLEX What? No! Never! Stomp away, my maladjusted friend! (Biff continues stomping on Terry) FLEX (dropping a packet of NRG protein drink mix on Terry) Here, Terry Taylor, Merry Christmas, have a free sample. It's our new flavor, Chocolate Berry Blast. NRG. BIFF GET NRGIZZZZZZEDDDD! Commercial break Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted December 23, 2005 (edited) We zip backstage to the office of GM Calvin Szechstein where said GM sits with a very agitated look on his face. He listens intently to the other end of the phone line, but he's about to burst at any moment. We see that the room has been very and thoroughly trashed; chairs are toppled over and a trash can sits on its side, contents strewn all over the floor. CALVIN WHY WASN'T I TOLD ABOUT THIS? HUH? Calvin stops, and the look on his face turns wilder. CALVIN IT WASN'T A PRIORITY? WELL WHAT THE *BLEEP* KIND OF BUSINESS ARE YOU RUNNING HERE YOU SHADY BASTARD WATTS? HUH? WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE SCREWING ME OVER LIKE THAT AND MAKING ME LOOK LIKE A FOOL? We hear the door open and Calvin flinches a bit at the sound, but relaxes a bit as Stephen Joseph enters. Joseph briefly looks around at the mess before turning a chair upright and taking a seat. CALVIN SCREW YOU Watts. Screw. You. *THUMP* Calvin slams the phone down and looks across the desk at SJ, simply folding his arms and listening as Joseph begins. JOSEPH Redecorating? (Chuckles) No, seriously, I got your message to meet you here and I know what you want to talk about: there aren't any more worthy challengers for me to defend my title against, are there? I mean, you scraped the bottom of the barrel with Knight for Climax and, as you can see, the belt didn't go anywhere. (He reaches into his pocket) I happen to have a list here of some ideas that you...... CALVIN Stephen, right now, you'd best shut your mouth. I could strip you of that damn belt right now if I wanted to. Don't push me. I've already had to deal with a bunch of calls and e-mails from pissed off fans about what happened at Cimax and then I have to deal with an extremely pissed off Peter Knight doing this "redecorating" job and screaming at me to fix this situation after what Axel did to screw it up. Now Watts calls me with more bullshit and......AARGH. He sweeps the phone off his desk, startling SJ a bit and causing him to flinch as it hits the floor. STEPHEN Oh what, now you have a little problem with Axel too, and you're going to take it out on me? CALVIN All I know is that, on our New Year's Day special, you have a rematch with Peter Knight, once again for the OAOAST World Heavyweght Championship. AND, if you decide to get someone else to interfere next week, you will LOSE the title and Peter Knight WILL be the NEW World Heavyweight Champion. That is all, you are dismissed. JOSEPH But....how the HELL is that fair? CALVIN I SAID you are DISMISSED. If you BOTHERED to show up to the arena on time tonight, you would have heard about this earlier. But what's done is done and no amount of bullshitting from you will get you out of it. Now get out of my office. JOSEPH But I had committments.... CALVIN OUT! Angrily, Joseph gets out of his chair, picking it up and flinging it against the wall before leaving. COLE Wow....things are very tense in the backstage area right now, as Calvin Szechstein is suddenly under the gun and has to fight for his job next Sunday. John Smith with Sam Jackson vs. Asmodai with Satan's Foot Soldiers Standing in front of a OAOAST backdrop is Matthews, an agitate NNMX and disgruntled Jim Cornette. So disgruntled he doesn't even have a tennis racket on hand. JOSH What a bad night it was for Jim Cornette Enterprises Sunday night at Climax. Not only did the South Central Militia lose to the Heavenly Rockers, but the New New Midnight Express failed in their attempt to capture the World Tag Team Championship for an unprecedented third time. SIMON Don't you think we know what happened? We were there, you idiot! Everybody saw how we got robbed. The Usual Suspects were cheating throughout the match. NED As usual. JOSH Cheating? SIMON Yeah. And what did those damn referees do? Nothing! You know why they didn't bother doing a damn thing? Because the fat girls in the crowd take the money they'll usually spend on cheeseburgers and fries to buy Usual Suspects gear and Leon Rodez' old movies using their parents credit card. The Usual Suspects may have beaten us once, but I'd damn sure like to see them do it again. JOSH I must've been watching another match, because the only time I recall seeing anyone cheat was when YOU guys were doing it. CORNETTE (exasperated) Wha--What?! You're probably with one of those girls who spend all their money buying every piece of Usual Suspects merchandise out there. Why don't you just stand there in your nice little suit and let me do all the talking, kid. You see, I've got so many problems right now I could be President of the United States. We've got the Heavenly Rockers breathing down our necks and the Usual Suspects walking around with my boys tag team titles. But like in any business, you're gonna have your ups and downs. Sunday night happened to be one of those downs for Jim Cornette Enterprises. It's what you do when you're down that separates the men from the boys. Who has guts? The last time everybody said the Midnight Express couldn't get it done, they went out there and defeated C.O.D. for the tag titles. And that's exactly what's going to happen again because Sarcastic Simon and the Handsome Hustler have guts. I like to think I know a little something about tag team wrestling. So let me tell you something, Usual Suspects. You're no tag team. You're the creation of a corrupt administration, a couple of second-rate Midnight Express imitators! People might call you the best tag team in professional wrestling today because you're walking around with the most prestigious set of tag belts in our sport. But being called the best and being the best are two very different things. You happen to be looking at the best tag team in my Midnight Express! They've overcome every obstacle thrown at them. They've beaten hitmen, bruisers and even rockers. Not to mention natural blondes unlike a certain so-called "franchise." And when they retire they'll go down as the greatest tag team of all time. Isn't that right, Ned? NED You hit the nail right on the head, Jimmy. The Usual Suspects are nothing more than New New Midnight Express imposters. Take Zack Malibu for example. Good-looking kid, dynamic dude and father-to-be. Remind you of anybody? That's right. You're looking at him, baby. Certainly not as handsome or dynamic as yours truly, and I already got a kid...or so the birth certificate says. I can't fault the guy for wanting to be me. Then look at Leon Rodez. SIMON Rip-off! NED The bastard doesn't even try to hide the fact he's a Ned clone. At least with Malibu...at least he just wants to be me. Rodez is me. JOSH You guys look absolutely nothing alike! CORNETTE Guzzling the kool-aid already, aren't we, kid? SIMON To show you how much The Usual Suspects wish they were us, they even have their own Jim Cornette wannabe. Candie. Not only is James E. smarter than her, he's also bet... Simon pauses and looks at Jim, who's smiling. That smiles fades when he notices Simon and Ned staring at him. SIMON (CONT'D) ... One out of two isn't bad. My mother taught me it's what inside that counts. You're my perfect 10, Jimmy. CORNETTE Oh, Simon. Simon and Jim share a man hug! CORNETTE I give you all the credit in the world, Malibu and Rodez. Not very many teams have been able to put Simon and Ned on their backs for the 1-2-3, but you did just that at Climax. But as the saying goes, every dog has his day. And our day is coming soon. Heh Heh. JOSH What are you talking about, Jim Cornette? CORNETTE If you shut up and stand there holding the microphone like I told you, I'll explain. With the Anderson Cup beginning January 5th, the OAOAST Board of Directors in conjunction with our crooked General Manager Calvin Szechstein have comissioned a tag team battle royal to determine who'll face The Usual Suspects at Anglepalooza, January 29th. The OAOAST sees money in the tag team division, that's why they want a tag team title match on pay-per-view. The intellectual genius that I am, I've signed Simon and Ned up for the battle royal... JOSH Wait a minute, Jim Cornette. Why didn't you sign them up for the Anderson Cup as well? Guys, don't you feel a bit short changed? CORNETTE You're already short, but pretty soon your face will be changed courtesy of my Midnight Express if you don't shut up. See, that's the problem with the media nowadays. They're always trying to stir something up. What journalistic credibility do you have questioning someone like myself or the Midnight Express, huh? Unlike you, Josh Masterson, I've been involved in the sport for the better part of 20 years. I've seen them come and go. I've dealt with more promoters than Larry King has gone through ex-wives, brother. To survive in this business you gotta have a plan. And brother, do we ever have a plan. SIMON, NED, CORNETTE JOSH Come on, why don't you us a bone here. You say you have a plan... CORNETTE We do. JOSH ... Well, share a little bit with us. SIMON Call the hotline and maybe you'll find out. JOSH Well, okay, I can see I'm not going to get anywhere there. If I can bring up another subject, one you've briefly touched on. The situation between between the New New Midnight Express and the Heavenly Rockers. They've promised payback for what happened to their publicist/girlfriend of Logan Mann. And so far they've delivered, kicking off their revenge tour with a bang this past Sunday night. SIMON (sarcastically) Ooh, we're real scared. The Heavenly Rockers are mad and are coming to get us. Ooh. Maybe if we apologize they'll get off our backs. So here goes. We're really sor... Nah, you can kiss our asses, you big babies! CORNETTE Hey. Hey, you know what I heard? I heard the Heavenly Rockers recently held a concert and every stray dog and cat within a 20 mile raidus committed suicide. SIMON, NED, CORNETTE NED Heavenly Rockers, we've left you on your backs more times than Alix Spezia at the AVN Awards. Aw, man, was that a low blow on Rodez? SIMON It's the only kind of blowjob he's gonna be gettin' anytime soon once we're done with him. NED Oh, oh, that's lower than low. That's rock bottom. We're not sorry for the pain we caused you, Synth and Logan. In fact, you brought it on yourselves. That harlot Holly-Wood was two-timing you maybe not physcially but mentally, Logan. Whenever you were on top of Holly or hiding her from behind, her mind was fixed in one man, sonny boy, and it wasn't you. It was the Handsome Hustler himself, Ned Blanchard. JOSH You know what? This interview is over. You guys are going too far. Let's go back to Sofa Central. COACH "Hiding her from behind"? Don't think the Coach has tried that way yet. Scotty Static and Johnny Jax are playing on their brand spanking new X-BOX 360~! WOOT~! with wireless controllers, running around the Upstart's locker room yipping and yayying. Behemoth and Christian Wright, suprisingly enough, are engrossed over a game of chess laid out on one of the benches. Throughout the rooms clothes are neatly piled, or hung in the lockers with care. Lots of ripped wrapping paper though, litters the floor. Scotty AWW yeah KICKED YOUR ASS! Johnny Just One More Game! The door opens, and in walks Stephen Joseph, with his title belt slung over his shoulder. Tha Puerto Rican stands behind Stephen, taking in the situation. A very merry Christmas spirit seems to be dampened. Christian AWWWW SHIT! Behemoth just check-mated Christian Wright, who wasn't paying enough attention, or undervalued his opponents skills (Between you and me, Behemoth was an amatuer chess champion growing up). A chess board is flung towards the door, and Stephen Joseph deftly grabs the board, and then hands it to Puerto, who breaks it in half over his leg. Stephen Joseph Gentleman, I have a problem. And if I have a problem, the Upstarts have a problem. Which means YOU have a problem. :: He pauses to point his finger at each Upstart in the room. Scotty just can't resist making faces at Johnny, which draws Puerto's ire in the form of a flung half of a chessboard, narrowly missing Scotty's temple. Scotty Hey Man! What gives? Such a buzzkill! Stephen Joseph Shut Up Scotty. I wanted to state, for the record, that my problem is with you guys. You see, there was this ::finger quotes:: Championship Match ::end finger quotes:: at Climax, and when Axel interfered, who came and tried to help me? Puerto Rican I did boss! Stephen Joseph That's right. YOU did. What about you guys? What was your excuse. Johnny Hey man, we haven't exactly been seeing you around here much....Mr. "World Champion" Champion of what, a promotion you're supposed to hate? Scotty Yeah man, if you were so into being an Upstart, why haven't you trashed the title. What gives? Stephen Joseph This title has a lineage that's older than your great grandfather's. Puerto And that's the Truth Ruth! Stephen Joseph (looks over at PRL, mildly annoyed). Johnny Look man, all I be saying is that , you know, to show some love, you gotta give some love. Now, we were actually unawares about what happened, till it didn't matter no more. Scotty So like, step off bro. Stephen Joseph So its like that huh. Okay fine. Johnny, Scotty, I'll be in YOUR corner next week. I just want to make sure that, when the moment is right at New Year's Day, you guys are in my corner. When I get into trouble, I want you guys to come out there and even the odds. Take. Axel. OUT! Behemoth Be There. We were planning on being there. Can't miss it. Christian Most important match for the Upstarts! Sure with SJ carrying their title around, we've got their little gizzards! Stephen Joseph Thanks. Merry Christmas. Hope you guys enjoy your presents. As Stephen Joseph walks out, the camera follows. He closes the door, and as he does Puerto looks at him concerned. Stephen Joseph I know. I've got a bad feeling too. By the way, here's your Christmas present. ::SJ hands Puerto and envelope:: Stephen Joseph walks off as Puerto looks at the envelope. He carefully opens it, and a manilla parchment rolls down. A small sticky note is attached. It reads: "Always look out after your friends. Here's to a second round Puerto looks at the paper, and smiles. Our intrepid floating camera that sees all looks over Puerto's shoulder. As the screen fades to black, we see the heading "OAOAST World Title Championiship Match" Date: Open, 2006. Commercial break Edited December 23, 2005 by KingPK Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted December 23, 2005 (edited) I’ve exposed your lies baby And underneath is no big surprise No it’s time for changing And cleansing everything To forget your love “BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” COLE Crystal’s first appearance without a mask in months is not well received. COACH And a crying shame that is. How these people cannot even recognize the greatness of Crystal is beyond me. Crystal walks to the ring in casual clothing, not even acknowledging the crowd’s booing that is drowning out Muse. She yanks the microphone from the announcer and saunters into the middle of the ring. CABOOSE Oh, this is going to be rich. What possible explanation could she have for putting a bounty over Jenny Adam’s head? CRYSTAL It’s hilarious that everyone here is booing me. Without Crystal, there would BE no Jenny Adams! “BOOOOOOOOOOO!” CRYSTAL Everywhere I go since Sunday, I’ve been asked why. Why did I do that to poor Jenny Adams? I mean, all she did was follow in my footsteps, right? Wrong. All she did was try to steal my spotlight. COLE Oh come on now, that’s ridiculous. Jenny just wanted to be just like her idol. CRYSTAL Okay, okay. Maybe, just maybe, I am overreacting. Maybe Jenny isn’t the one to blame. It really is the suits’ faults. Did anyone ever wonder why this women’s division was suddenly brought in? It has been six months since the creation of it, and now it’s a prominent part of the show? I’ll tell you exactly why: OAOAST officials wanted to hold me down. They couldn’t stand the very thought of a woman being remembered as the greatest wrestler to ever hit a OAOAST ring. They wanted Zack Malibu remembered. They wanted CWM remembered. Hell, they wanted Axel, of all people, remembered before me. So what do they do? Over saturate the market. Bring in a bunch of female wrestlers so Crystal will be forgotten. And when I saw the writing on the wall and disappeared, they thought they succeeded. Bring in a Crystal rip-off, and she’ll be forgotten. “YEAHHHH!” Confused by the sudden cheers, Crystal looks towards the entrance and gets a sneer on her face. COLE It’s Jenny Adams! (With her head held high, despite some tears in her eyes, Jenny Adams makes her way to the ring and faces Crystal. She doesn’t have a microphone, and makes no move to want to speak.) CRYSTAL Good job Jenny! You know how to come out right on cue! Great, now I can tell you the truth to your face. Jenny, dear, you were not brought in because of your talents. You were not brought in because of the fan’s demand for a women’s division. You were brought in so I would be forgotten. You were simply a political ploy. Because you happen to be pretty, have blond hair, and some semblance of talent, you were chosen to be the next Female Phenom, sort of speak. But let me make something perfectly clear for you: You will NEVER replace me. You will NEVER be able to accomplish what I have. You are nothing more than a cheap replacement for the real thing and you are not WORTHY of being in the same ring as me. (By this point, Jenny is close to tears and is barely holding her emotions in check.) CRYSTAL I spent years making it acceptable for me to be taken seriously, and this women’s division, the one you are heading, is destroying that! You are trampling over MY hard work, just so you can make a name for yourself. You think you are honoring me? You are taking advantage of me and trying to steal my spotlight! And I’ll be damned if I let a Crystal rip-off replace the real thing! SLAP! “BOOOO!” (Jenny goes down like a shot from the sudden slap, while Crystal storms out of the ring and into the back. Officials come in and help Jenny out, who’s now freely crying at what her idol has said to her.) CABOOSE I’m…I’m actually speechless right now. To think that Crystal actually believes what she’s saying. COACH Well it’s true! It’s time for Crystal to take back the spotlight that is rightfully hers! Jenny walks to the back, still crying… COLE There's no situation developing backstage, but uh....let's just go there anyway! COACH Cripes, Mikey, just go to the bathroom during the commercial breaks! Well, if we're killing time until Mikey's done peeing, let's do the right thing and get some fine eye candy on screen. (By order of Coach we go backstage to the dressing room of Chicks Over Dicks. Krista Isadora Duncan seems to be the only one present. Wearing a white one shoulder tube top and a flowly orange skirt, she's typing away on her Dell Laptop computer. Sitting next to the best selling author are three empty bottles of Jack Daniels and a half full glass of Coke and rum. Her hard work is interrupted by the arrival of her tag team partner, Alix Maria Spezia. Miss Spezia is outfitted in a gorgeous cream colored camisole, and aged indigo low rise flared jeans. I know too much about women's fashion.) KRISTA Hey, sweetie. You look cute. How ya feeling? Good? Bad? Horrendous? Gruesome? Shuddersome? Atrocious? I'm running out of adjectives, so gimme an answer. ALIX Aside from the concussion, stitches, and chilling nightmares that will forever haunt me in my sleep, I'm a-okay, I guess. Whatcha doing? KRISTA I'm writing a romance novel. My agent said the market is ripe for expanding into fiction. I'll have people flocking to my book like a methadone clinic's patients to a candy store. I'm only on chapter four but this book is so hot I have to wipe the steam off my screen after every sentence. I dare my editor to read this with tight pants on. I call it Passion in the Bayou. Good title, huh? ALIX You're writing a romance novel? Woah, now I know what Peter Knight must feel like when he listens to me talk, because I think my brain just melted. You? Krista, it's Christmas not April Fools! KRISTA Excuse me? Honey, I'm the most romantic woman you'll ever meet.. I'll read you a passage. Ahem! “As his impious unit vigorously penetrated the angelic walls of her luxurious jungle, scenes of hideous terror played within the pitiable cinema of her mind. Starring in the lead role was her fragile feminine identity, set to act out it's grandiose death scene at the hands of his malevolent masculinity. She was keenly aware that strong action had to be taken before this oft-repeated tragedy emerged as reality's macabre fruition. The brilliant woman reached over to her night stand and grabbed the key to her eternal salvation. A golden letter opener. He screamed, as his phallic power became submerged in a rising crimson pool. She screamed as well, intensely overwhelmed by her spectacular orgasm of female liberation.” Can you say Krissy's got a tenth New York Times Bestseller? ALIX Yeaaaah. And I can also say Krissy's got issues! KRISTA I bet they make this into a movie. You know who would be good in the lead role? Winona Ryder. I drove by her home last week. She had bars on her window to prevent people from robbing her. If the irony of that hit me any harder, I'd have the words i-r-o-n imprinted on my forehead. Y wouldn't fit because I have a small forehead. Are you sure you're okay? You didn't laugh at my methadone joke. I told it on the Today show last month. Katie Couric died. Not literally. That would be awful, or wonderful, depending on your taste in televised morning talk shows. You haven't been so chipper and upbeat these past few days after our Climax match. I can understand why you're so down, but don't try and pretend everything is fine, when it's obviously not. ALIX I am fine! I swear it. KRISTA No, you're not. The whole thing was a rather mortifying experience, and I understand if you don't want to talk about it. But, I have to say this. What hurts me the most and cuts the deepest, was that Leon Rodez, your Lee-Lee, was no where to be found while Marky Mark's funky bunch were having their way with you during the match. ALIX (softly) What do you mean? KRISTA Oh you know exactly what I mean, sweetie. If Leon loved you like he claims he does, then why on earth did he not make a heroic attempt to rescue his damsel in distress? Johnny and Scotty made you bleed. I watched that. I had to stand on the ring apron, held up by a sixty year old man, and listen you to scream and cry for help while your blood and your tears puddled on the mat. I had to watch that. Powerless. I had to listen to them call you a slut and a lot of other things. It broke my heart. I don't even feel like we won the match. That was above and beyond a pro wrestling contest. That was pure abuse, and your asshole boyfriend, who you love so much, was nowhere to be found. Where the hell was he, Ally? What was he doing? I think that's a fair question. ALIX He can't run in on the match. That's against the rules... KRISTA Oh, oh, oh, oh! My mistake! I forgot that Leon Rodez is such a paragon of virtuosity and moral code! Fine, let's live in Alix's magic fantasy land where snakes talk, monkeys fly, and Leon Rodez is actually an upstanding holder of ethical law. Where was he after match then? How come when the bell rung, he wasn't rushing down the ramp as fast as his stubby legs could carry him? If there was any part of him that cared about you, he would've been in that ring in an instant. So who was there for you when you needed help the most? Not Lee-Lee, but Krissy. ALIX Krista, you're not in competition with him! KRISTA It's always a competition. ALIX Please don't talk about Leon this way, Krista. You don't even know him. He's sweet. He's not like the others. KRISTA (muttering) You're hopeless. ALIX Huh? KRISTA Honestly, tell me what someone like Leon Rodez could possibly ever do for you? What can he ever give to you, besides years of bitterness and regret? This happens every year with you, Alix. You fall for one of these shitheads and they turn you into a blubbering emotional wreck. Who do you come running to when you've lost control and you can't stop the heartache? Who's shoulder is it that you spend nights crying on? Krista's. Who do you think is going to be there catch you when you fall? Krista. This relationship will end like all the others. With you on the floor in tears, and your heart in tattered rags and your soul in pieces. At some point these walls will cave in, and you'll never stop your suffering. Don't believe me? Look at your history. You can't hide from your past. Open your eyes to the future. He will leave on your knees with your heart bleeding in your hands. (Alix pauses, lost within the parade of Krista's logic) ALIX (weakly) Well, you're not..so..so.. perfect, okay. Let's..let's...look at your history. Yeah! What about Ned, huh? Yeah, what about him? KRISTA That was almost six years ago, Alix. And the Ned I loved isn't the Ned you see today. The Ned I loved was killed by this Handsome Hustler character. Look, I'm sorry. It's not that I'm trying to be mean or make you feel bad. I'm just sick of watching you get hurt all the time. Don't try and think that I'm the bad girl here. Is it a crime to be concerned? Is it a bad thing that I care about you? ALIX I guess not... KRISTA You guess not? Hmph. Glad to know I inspire such gratitude ALIX Awwww, Krissy, I didn't mean it like that. Hey, I got you a gift! I know you don't celebrate Christmas and all, so we'll call it a happy “bigoted, homophobic white-man oppressing the disenfranchised minorities of America” day gift. Unfortunately, the fine people at Hallmark don't make a card for such a holiday, and my attempts at framing their CEO as a pedophile have merely led to me being investigated by the FBI. So if anyone in a suit and a fancy badge comes knocking on your door, and doesn't look like the strip-o-gram I ordered, tell them I've moved to Rhode Island and have changed my name to Candie! But here's your gift. I wrapped it and everything. And don't worry this isn't like your birthday. I learned my lesson! Why didn't someone tell me about these airholes? Oh Petey, heaven knows no better an angel. (Alix pulls a small box out of her pocket, and lays it on the table. She smiles proudly, but that smile soon fades when she sees that Krista isn't about to unwrap the gift.) ALIX Aren'tcha gonna open it? KRISTA Right now? Honey, I'm busy. This book isn't gonna write itself. Krista Isadora Duncan didn't become a millionaire by having hallmark moments on live television. She became one by being emotionally detached from the world around her, and eventually alienating those that she cares about the most. Soooo... ALIX (trying to sound upbeat but failing) Well, you can open it later. It's no big deal. “bigoted, homophobic white-man oppressing the disenfranchised minorities of America” day is sort of a year round holiday anyway. Hmmm. Hey, wanna see these fliers I made? (Without waiting for an answer Alix thrusts a stack of papers at Krista) KRISTA (reading it) Vote for Alix for most entertaining wrestler of the year in the 2005 Angle Awards? ALIX Yeah! I'm sure I could fit that next to my Oscar in my award case. Oh sure the Oscar says Jodie Foster on the nameplate, but after having to shell out seven dollars and seventy five cents to sit through Contact, I personally feel that I'm just as if not more entitled to the award as she is. KRISTA Knowing how most of the guys here are, why don't you bring Los Diablos De Fuego on your campaign trail and see if they can rock the vote by rocking the boat, if you're picking up what I'm putting down. ALIX Krista! KRISTA Just a suggestion. I don't suppose your cute little flier includes anything about us being nominated for best tag team or me being nominated for most underrated wrestler? ALIX Uh..um..they're on there! KRISTA Really? All I see is Vote for Alix in big bold letters, a picture of you in a bikini, and a coupon for twenty five percent off a grand slam at Denny's. ALIX Are you sure? Oh my! Oh heaven's no! This can't be right! The printer must've messed up. How awfully awful! Well, I've got so many of them, and I'd hate for all those poor little trees to have died in vain to make my fancy paper, so when you're done being a bitter drunk can you pass some out for me? KRISTA If I'm not passed out and haven't choked on my own vomit, I'll be happy to. (BACK TO THE SC) COACH I wonder what gift Alix gave Krista? Probably some piece of roadkill, like a dead skunk, or whatever type of gift trailer trash like that gives. Heeheeh! CABOOSE Better than the gifts your mother gave you, I'll bet. COACH Hey, Momma Coach gave me the greatest gift of all: life and my rapier-like wit. CABOOSE Hope she kept the reciept. Commercial break Edited December 23, 2005 by Patty O'Green Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted December 23, 2005 (edited) “LIGHTNING CREW!” Smoke fills the entryway as the opening to “No Chance In Hell” begins playing. After a few seconds, a lightning bolt hits the entrance and “No Chance In Hell” by Bradley Royds begins playing while The Lightning Crew entrance video plays on the AngleTron. *No chance (No chance) That’s what ya got! (Ha, Ha, yeah) Put up against no machine too strong (Too strong) Pussy politicians buying souls for us are…PUPPETS! (Puppets!)* The entrance doors slide open, and through the smoke come “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, Vitamin X, and Stephen Joseph Popick. The crowd boos loudly. PR looks at the crowd in disgust, jawing with some fans. PR is holding his custom made spinner 24/7 Championship belt over his left shoulder. Vitamin X does the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle. Lindsay Gonzalez smirks at the crowd. PR spins his belt plate, and then looks at The LC and Popick. The four of them start walking down the entrance ramp as “No Chance In Hell” continues playing. *DING DING DING* MICHAEL BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following Six-Man Tag Team Match is scheduled for one fall with a thirty-minute time limit. Introducing first, coming to the ring at this time. Accompanied by the One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Champion, Stephen Joseph Popick. At a total combined weight of 650 lbs. The team of Vitamin X, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, AND the One And Only AngleSault Thread Twenty-Four/Seven Champion, “The Corporate Champion” THA PUERTOOOOOOOOO RIICAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!! PRL and Vitamin X jaw with the fans as they walk down the ramp. VX tries to dance to “No Chance In Hell”, but fails, horribly. PRL puts his right arm over Lindsay’s shoulders. The two of them look at each other lovingly, then go back to smiling evilly. COLE Well, fans, coming up next is a rematch of sorts from Climax. Last Sunday at Climax, Colombian Heat, Spanish Fly, and John “Rock Hard” Brickston defeated Tha Puerto Rican, Cuban Wall, and Mr. Boricua in a Six-Man Tag Team Match. COACH The match ended when Colombian Heat gave Tha Puerto Rican the Colombian Necktie for the win. Something that obviously cheesed off Tha Puerto Rican! Tha Puerto Rican gets on the ring apron and sneers at the crowd. Vitamin X hops on a turnbuckle and crosses his arms in X. Lindsay laughs evilly. Stephen Joseph Popick holds the ropes for Tha Puerto Rican, and he enters the ring. Lindsay Gonzalez enters the ring underneath the second rope. Popick follows while Vitamin X hops off the turnbuckle and into the ring. CABOOSE Colombian Heat was lucky last Sunday at Climax. He was at the right place at the right time. That’s how he was able to get the win. COLE Oh I don’t know about that. CABOOSE It was a fluke. A fluke. A fluke. A FLUKE. A FLUKE! A FLUKE! A FLUKE! COACH Geez, calm down Caboose. PRL spins around, soaking in the crowds’ jeers while “No Chance In Hell” continues playing over the P.A. system. Vitamin X does the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez poses in the center of the ring. CABOOSE It was a fluke. Colombian Heat will never get another win over Tha Puerto Rican. Never! NEVER! COLE Okay, Caboose. We get it already. CABOOSE Just wanted to remind you guys. PRL, Vitamin X, and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez all look at each other. The three of them stand in the middle of the ring. They do The Lightning Crew Salute while pyro goes off behind them. Popick applauds them. The crowd chants “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” CABOOSE Look at them. They’re The Lightning Crew. The most dominant group in professional wrestling today! Colombian Heat, Spanish Fly, and John Brickston are going to be in for a hell of a battle against those three. COLE Well, PRL teamed up with Mr. Boricua and Cuban Wall last Sunday, and those are the two big men in The Lightning Crew. And yet, Colombian Heat, Spanish Fly, and John Brickston were STILL able to beat them! CABOOSE Once again, that was a fluke! A FLUKE! COLE You won’t stop until we agree with you, huh? CABOOSE Yes. COLE Ugh. PRL heads to the second turnbuckle and raises his custom-made spinner 24/7 Championship belt over his head. He then heads to another turnbuckle and stands on the second turnbuckle raising his spinner 24/7 Title over his head. PR hits a third turnbuckle, and raises his spinner belt with his right arm in the air and “smells the electricity” a’la The Rock. PRL does the same Rock pose on the fourth turnbuckle, receiving boos. Tha Puerto Rican gets off the turnbuckle, removes his glasses and removes his earring. Vitamin X continues doing the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle. Lindsay bobs her head to The Lightning Crew entrance theme song. The lights go back on in the arena as PRL, Lindsay, Popick, and VX chat. COLE We are almost done with 2005, but you gotta believe that this feud between Colombian Heat and Tha Puerto Rican will continue in 2006! COACH Oh absolutely Michael! This feud won’t end until there’s a one-on-one match between Heat and PRL. The question is, when will that match take place? CABOOSE Hopefully never. Colombian Heat doesn’t deserve a title shot against PRL. COACH He pinned Tha Puerto Rican last Sunday at Climax. CABOOSE THAT WAS A FLUKE! COLE Hey guys. I’m—I’m getting something backstage. Something just went down. I’m told…yes…we have a camera backstage right now! COACH What happened? COLE I don’t know yet. But, I’m told to cut to the backstage area right now! The camera cuts to the backstage area where John “Rock Hard” Brickston is shown handcuffed to the interview set, and Spanish Fly knocked out unconscious on the ground next to him. Brickston is trying to break the handcuffs, but is unsuccessful so far. The crowd boos. COLE What the hell? That’s John “Rock Hard” Brickston and Spanish Fly! And they looked like they just been in a fight! COACH Look at Spanish Fly! He’s knocked out cold! And Brickston’s been handcuffed! COLE This must be the work of The Lightning Crew! They did this before the match! CABOOSE Good work there, Einstein! OF COURSE it was The Lightning Crew! Who else could it be? The point is that Colombian Heat’s partners in the Six-Man Tag Team Match have just been taken out! That means Colombian Heat is going to wrestle PRL, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, and Vitamin X all by himself! COLE This isn’t right! This isn’t right at all! Colombian Heat is at a 1-on-3 disadvantage. CABOOSE That’s the idea! COLE Well, the idea stinks! PRL, Vitamin X, and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez are laughing. They high five each other while the crowd boos. COACH Colombian Heat is going to go at it on his own! How is he going to be able to do this? CABOOSE He won’t. That’s the point! PRL, Lindsay, and VX look to the entrance with smiles on their faces. “No Chance In Hell” by Bradley Royds dies down. CABOOSE Colombian Heat’s going to lose! A piano plays a melody, causing the crowd to cheer. The lights go down in the arena, turning back on in tune with the melody. *BOOM~!!!* Pyro explodes, leaving behind fire that burns on both sides of the entrance stage. “Gasolina (Remix)” by Daddy Yankee featuring Lil’ Jon and Pitbull starts playing. The crowd cheers as the entrance doors slide open, and Colombian Heat comes out. Heat raises his hands, but he doesn’t have a smile on his face this time. Heat looks at The Lightning Crew members who are in the ring with a concern look on his faces. CABOOSE Colombian Heat is going DOWN boy! He’s going DOWN! Heat points to both sides of the entrance stage, and then walks down the entrance ramp, slapping hands with the fans, but keeping his eyes on The Lightning Crew. BUFFER And their opponents. First, originally from Bogotá, Colombia, but now residing in Miami, Florida. Weighing in at 175 lbs. COLOMBIANNNN HEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!! CABOOSE That’s going to be The Lightning Crew’s ONLY opponent! COLE Sad to say, you’re right. This Six-Man Tag Team Match is now a Handicap Match. Fans, let’s take you back to last Sunday at Climax, to the end of The Lightning Crew Six-Man Tag Team Match. The OAOAST HeldDOWN~! logo flashes across the screen. The end of the PRL, Cuban Wall, Mr. Boricua vs. Colombian Heat, Spanish Fly, and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez match is shown. COACH Colombian Heat was dominating The Lightning Crew when Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez came on to the ring apron. She was flirting with Heat, but then turned on him, and went to slap him! COLE However, Colombian Heat blocked the slap, and then KISSED Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, which I’m sure pissed off PRL. PRL then almost collided with Lindsay, but luckily stopped in his tracks. However, when PRL turned around, he went right into the Colombian Necktie. A few seconds later, Colombian Heat got the pin and the win for his team! CABOOSE Once again, it was a fluke. The OAOAST HeldDOWN~! logo flashes across the screen again. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez is giving Colombian Heat the McMahon SNEER~! COLE PRL demanded that he get another Six-Man Tag Team Match tonight. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez VOLUNTEERED herself to be in the match. PRL accepted, and here we go! COACH Well, it’s not a Six-Man Tag Team Match anymore. Now it’s a 1-on-3 Handicap Match. CABOOSE I know. Isn’t it great? Heat enters the ring. Heat gets on the ring ropes and flashes the “WESTSIIIIIIIDE” hand signal. He then gets on the second turnbuckle and throws up the W on the turnbuckle. Heat gets off the turnbuckle and grabs a microphone, while glancing at The Lightning Crew members who are standing in a corner. Heat stares at PRL, who stares back. “Gasolina (Remix)” by Daddy Yankee featuring Lil’ Jon and Pitbull dies down. COLOMBIAN HEAT Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo! The crowd cheers. HEAT If all of y’all are ready to see me make The Lightning Crew feel the Heat, make some noise up in this BI-AAAAAAAATCH~!!! The crowd does indeed make some noise up in this BI-AAAAAAAATCH~!!! Colombian Heat puts the microphone away. He has a serious look on his face, staring at The Lightning Crew, who all have smirks on their faces. COLE We’re just about to begin what is now a 1-on-3 Handicap Match between Colombian Heat, Tha Puerto Rican, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, and Vitamin X. CABOOSE Colombian Heat has no chance of winning this one. Referee Charles Robinson calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* 1-ON-3 HANDICAP MATCH COLOMBIAN HEAT vs. “THE CORPORATE CHAMPION” THA PUERTO RICAN, VITAMIN X, & MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ (with Stephen Joseph Popick) Vitamin X, PRL, and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez discuss strageaty. VX decides to go first. PRL and Lindsay get on the ring apron. Popick wishes them luck. Vitamin X has an evil smile on his face, staring at Colombian Heat. The crowd is fired up. COLE Can Colombian Heat pull off the win here? Or will the numbers game catch up with him? Colombian Heat and Vitamin X circle each other. VX goes for a punch, but it’s blocked by Heat! Heat punches Vitamin X in the face several times. Heat whips VX into the ropes. He follows with a leg lariat! VX gets up, and gets hit with a clothesline! X gets up again, and gets hit with another clothesline! VX gets up again, and gets hit with yet another clothesline! Colombian Heat gets out of the ring, and heads over to The Lightning Crew corner, where he grabs Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez by the legs and pulls her off the ring apron! CABOOSE How dare he do that to such a sweet and wonderful girl like Lindsay! That’s terrible! Colombian Heat should be ashamed of himself! Colombian Heat taunts Lindsay. However, Vitamin X gets out of the ring and attacks Colombian Heat! VX lays in the punches all over Colombian Heat’s body. VX grabs Heat and takes him over to Sofa Central. X slams Heat’s head on top of the announcer’s table. COACH Look out! Vitamin X slams Heat’s head on top of the announcer’s table again. VX lays in some punches to continue his assault. X sends Heat back into the ring. Vitamin X gets back into the ring and drops an elbow onto CH. He does it again, and again. VX kicks Colombian Heat while he’s down. COLE Vitamin X is now in control of Colombian Heat. CABOOSE Just like how he is in control of his The Lightning Crew’s money! The crowd starts chanting “HEAT! HEAT! HEAT! HEAT!” X tells the crowd to “SHUT UP!” Vitamin X Irish whips Colombian Heat into the ropes. VX goes for a clothesline. Heat ducks, goes behind X, grabs him, and brings him down to the mat with the Gangsta Slam! Heat covers VX! 1…2…VX KICKS OUT AT 2!!! COLE Colombian Heat picks up Vitamin X and is laying into him! Indeed, Colombian Heat is controlling VX with rights. CH whips VX into a turnbuckle. VX reverses. X charges forward, but is met with an elbow from Heat! Colombian Heat leaps onto the top rope. When VX is in the right position, Heat leaps off the top rope, with a crossbody onto Vitamin X! He gets two. Colombian Heat and Vitamin X get into a slugfest in the ring. Heat gains the advantage and whips Colombian Heat into the ropes. He follows with a SPEAR~! X gets on top of Heat, and punches him in the face repeatedly. VX talks to PRL and Lindsay, who approve. Vitamin X makes the tag to Tha Puerto Rican. COLE Tha Puerto Rican is in the match, and he is about to face his FORMER best friend. CABOOSE You know, Heat is the reason they’re no longer friends. COLE How so? CABOOSE He was an idiot. Tha Puerto Rican didn’t want to hang out with a moron. COACH Then why does he hang out with Mr. Boricua? CABOOSE Uh….um…uh. PRL grabs Colombian Heat as “P.R. SUCKS!” starts up again. Tha Puerto Rican gives Heat a vertical suplex. He rolls through, and gives CH another vertical suplex. He rolls through again and lifts him up for a third suplex. PRL holds Colombian Heat in the air, letting the blood rush to his head. The crowd applauds. PRL does the “You can’t see me!” hand gesture and then walks over to the ropes. He gives Colombian Heat a slingshot suplex to complete the Corporate Trifecta. Afterwards, PRL applauds himself. The crowd boos. Caboose applauds. COLE Please. PRL covers Heat. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Puerto Rican picks up Colombian Heat. He lays the smackdown on Colombian Heat, giving him several Rock-style punches to the temple. PR’s left hands dazed Heat. PRL whips Heat into the ropes. PRL goes for a clothesline. Colombian Heat ducks. Colombian Heat punches Tha Puerto Rican in the face. He does it again. And again! Colombian Heat DANCES~! He then punches PRL again, knocking him down! COLE Shake, Rattle, & Roll! Colombian Heat bounces off the ropes, does a SHIMMY~!, and then drops a knee onto PRL’s forehead! Colombian Heat bounces off the ropes again, however, Vitamin X knees him in the back! Heat turns around, and goes after Vitamin X, causing the crowd to cheer! COLE Vitamin X is in trouble now! Suddenly, Tha Puerto Rican attacks Heat. The Southpaw from San Juan, Puerto Rico nails Colombian Heat with punches to the temple. He spits on his left hand, then knocks Heat down with a punch. PR picks up Heat and takes him over to The Lightning Crew corner. The crowd starts booing loudly as PRL holds Colombian Heat’s head up for Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez to do some trash talking. MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ You wanna kiss me? You wanna kiss me? Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez SLAPS Colombian Heat! LINDSAY Don’t you EVER kiss me again! EVER! Lindsay slaps Heat again! CABOOSE Yeah! That a girl Lindsay! That ought to teach him to physically assault you again! COLE Physically assaulted? What? PRL makes the tag to Vitamin X. Vitamin X gets into the ring and punches Colombian Heat. He does the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle, drawing the ire of the fans. VX punches Heat in the face. Punch. Punch. Shane-O-Mac Shuffle. Punch. BLOCKED! Colombian Heat fires back, unleashing right hands on Vitamin X! X knees him in the stomach. VX punches Heat in the face again. He does the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle. Punch. Punch. Shane-O-Mac Shuffle. Punch. Heat goes down! VX picks up CH and whips him into the ropes. VX puts his head down. Colombian Heat puts VX in between his legs, and then lifts him up in the Razor’s Edge position! Colombian Heat drops Vitamin X onto the mat with The Slam Dunk (Razor’s Edge)! COLE The Slam Dunk! Colombian Heat just gave Vitamin X the Slam Dunk! Colombian Heat follows The Slam Dunk by bouncing off the ropes and delivering the “Where The Hood At?” onto the body of Vitamin X! Colombian Heat covers Vitamin X. 1… 2… Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez pulls Colombian Heat off of Vitamin X! COLE Now that’s not right! CABOOSE Why not? Lindsay just stopped Colombian Heat from getting the pin! COLE It still isn’t right. Right Coach? COACH Hmmm? Sorry I wasn’t paying attention. I was just staring at Lindsay’s ass! That ass is banging in them short shorts! BOO-YAH~! Colombian Heat is ticked off. He stands up, which causes Lindsay to slowly walk backwards to her corner. COLE Colombian Heat didn’t take too kindly to being pulled off of Vitamin X! CABOOSE The way you just said that sounded so odd. Vitamin X walks towards Lindsay, but then gets pulled into a schoolboy by Vitamin X! VX holds onto Heat’s shorts! Heat kicks out at 2! Heat and VX get up, and get into a slugfest. Vitamin X Irish whips Colombian Heat into the ropes. X goes for a clothesline. Colombian Heat ducks, springboards off the ropes, and gives Vitamin X a hurricarana! Heat gets up and poses for the cheering fans! COLE Colombian Heat has these fans fired up! Colombian Heat covers Vitamin X. ONE! TWO! X KICKS OUT!!! Heat curses under his breath. CH picks up Vitamin X. Heat punches Vitamin X in the face. Heat then Irish whips Vitamin X into the ropes. Colombian Heat puts his head down, so VX decides to do a Floatover DDT on Colombian Heat! CABOOSE Way to go, X! Way to go! Yes! Vitamin X lies on the mat for a few seconds, but then he gets up. When he does, he notices that Lindsay Gonzalez is putting her right hand out for a tag. The crowd starts booing loudly. PRL tells X to tag Lindsay in. Vitamin X tags in Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez. The crowd’s boos get louder. COLE Oh I see. Now that Colombian Heat is down, Lindsay wants a tag! CABOOSE Stop being so cynical. The important thing is that Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez will now get revenge on Colombian Heat for kissing her last Sunday at Climax! Lindsay is fighting for women’s rights you know! COLE Oh come on. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez enters the ring and does the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle! COACH Yeah, keep doing that, Lindsay! Keep shaking what ya momma gave ya! Suddenly, Colombian Heat kips up! Lindsay screams and falls down on her nice ass. However, before anything can happen, PRL enters the ring and delivers a clothesline from behind! The crowd boos. CABOOSE Yeah! Way to go, PRL! Way to go! PRL trash talks Colombian Heat. A “P.R. SUCKS!” chant starts up. PRL heads back to The Lightning Crew corner. Lindsay makes the tag to him. PRL gets ready to deliver the Corporate Nightmare. CABOOSE One Corporate Nightmare coming up! COLE PR is setting up for his finisher. The deadly Corporate Nightmare! Puerto Rican continues waiting for Colombian Heat to get up. Heat gets on one knee. COACH PRL can give Colombian Heat the Corporate Nightmare right now! CABOOSE It’s about time too! Colombian Heat is standing up. He gets to a vertical base. A hush silence falls over the crowd as Colombian Heat, dazed and fatigued, turns around. PRL kicks him the gut, grabs him a facelock. CORPORATE NIGHTMARE!!! NO!!! Colombian Heat escapes the Corporate Nightmare! Colombian Heat punches PRL in the face several times. He unleashes lefts and rights on PRL. Colombian Heat gives PRL the Pimp Juice! COLE Pimp Juice! Pimp Juice! Pimp Juice! CABOOSE Do you realize how stupid you sound? Colombian Heat climbs the top rope. He waits patiently for Tha Puerto Rican to get up. PRL gets to his feet…and walks right into a missile dropkick from Colombian Heat! Heat sits up, and does a Spinaroonie! COACH Spinaroonie! Spinaroonie! Spinaroonie! Colombian Heat stands up and raises his hands in the air! Heat gets the crowd fired up, jumping up and down. Heat does a dance similar to Eddie Guerrero’s. He gets ready to deliver the Colombian Necktie. COLE And here we go! Colombian Heat is ready to finish this match! He’s ready to deliver the Colombian Necktie! Suddenly, the crowd starts booing as Cuban Wall, Mr. Boricua, and Thomas Rodriguez walk down the entrance ramp. COLE Oh no. What are those guys doing here? CABOOSE They’re just there for emotional support. COLE That’s what you said last Sunday and you were wrong then! CABOOSE I am never wrong! COLE You were last Sunday. CABOOSE Shut up. Colombian Heat notices The Lightning Crew members on the outside. The three Lightning Crew members have smirks on their faces. Cuban Wall runs onto the ring apron. Colombian Heat knocks him down with one punch! Mr. Boricua enters the ring. Boricua charges forward, but Heat stops Boricua with punches to the face. Punch. Punch. Punch. DANCE~! Punch! Mr. Boricua still doesn’t go down. So, Colombian Heat bounces off the ropes, leaps up, and gives Mr. Boricua a leg lariat that takes Boricua over the top rope and onto the floor! COLE Mr. Boricua is down! Mr. Boricua is down on the ground! CABOOSE Oh come on! Come on Lightning Crew! Come on! Thomas Rodriguez stays on the outside. Colombian Heat skins the cat back into the ring. CORPORATE NIGHTMARE!!! Tha Puerto Rican gives Colombian Heat the Corporate Nightmare as soon as Colombian Heat turned around! COLE Corporate Nightmare! The Corporate Nightmare! Colombian Heat has been given the Corporate Nightmare! CABOOSE Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! The crowd boos loudly. PR stops to pose with an evil smile on his face. “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican makes the tag to Vitamin X. Vitamin X climbs the top rope. The crowd senses what is coming up next, and boos. COACH Here it comes. Vitamin X leaps off the top rope with THE LEAP OF FAITH! COLE The Leap Of Faith on Colombian Heat! CABOOSE All right Vitamin X! Way to go! COLE Colombian Heat has just received two finishing moves in succession! CABOOSE He’s just being bitchslapped around isn’t he? Vitamin X gets up. He looks at his right hand, and then does his own spinaroonie! CABOOSE It’s the X-A-Roonie! COLE Vitamin X is mocking Colombian Heat! COACH What a slap to the face! Vitamin X covers Colombian Heat. However, he gets off of him when he notices that Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez is stretching her right hand out. Vitamin X asks her if she wants the tag. Lindsay pleads with X to tag her in. X looks at the crowd, who boos. Vitamin X tags Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez into the match. COLE Oh no! Don’t tell me! This isn’t going to happen! CABOOSE Oh yeah. It’s going to happen! It’s SO going to happen! COLE You mean to tell me that Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez is going to pin Colombian Heat? Oh come on! Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez calmly walks over to Colombian Heat, who is breathing hard on the mat. Lindsay covers Heat. She laughs evilly as the crowd boos loudly. Referee Charles Robinson counts. 1… 2… 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *DING DING DING* (7:42) COLE I don’t believe it! COACH Well I’ll be damned! Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez gets off of Colombian Heat and raises her hands in the air. She takes off her scrunchee and throws it down on Colombian Heat’s chest. Tha Puerto Rican and Vitamin X come into the ring and congratulate her as “No Chance In Hell” by Bradley Royds starts playing. BUFFER Here are your winners…Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, Vitamin X, AND “The Corporate Champion” THA PUERTOOOOOOOO RICCCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNN!!! COLE Well, Tha Puerto Rican may have been the leader of this team, but it was Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez who got the pin on Colombian Heat! COACH Lindsay pinned Colombian Heat! MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ PINNED COLOMBIAN HEAT! CABOOSE I know isn’t it great? Popick enters the ring. He also congratulates Lindsay. The crowd boos. COLE This was a big moment in Lindsay’s career. Lindsay got the pinfall for her team. CABOOSE She also got her revenge for Colombian Heat kissing her at Climax! PRL hugs and kisses Lindsay as “No Chance In Hell” continues playing. PRL, Lindsay, X, and Popick leave the ring. COLE Tha Puerto Rican’s girlfriend got the win over Tha Puerto Rican’s former best friend. This must make Tha Puerto Rican very happy. CABOOSE Girl power! Tha Puerto Rican tells X, Lindsay, and Popick to not leave the ring. He sees Colombian Heat start to get up. PRL kicks Colombian Heat as he’s getting up. Stephen Joseph joins in with the kicking and soon Tha Puerto Rican, Vitamin X, and Stephen Joseph Popick are doing a beatdown on Colombian Heat! COLE Now come on! This isn’t right! The match is over! CABOOSE The match might be over, but the beating isn’t! “No Chance In Hell” dies down. Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua have recovered and have entered the ring. They join on the beatdown on Colombian Heat. Thomas Rodriguez enters the ring, and even he gets a few shots in. The crowd chants “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” COLE This is a 4-on-1 beatdown! Colombian Heat can’t possibly come back from this! The numbers game has caught up with him! COACH And Spanish Fly and John Brickston are unable to help him because The Lightning Crew also attacked them! CABOOSE This is just proof. Colombian Heat NEEDS The Lightning Crew. The Lightning Crew does NOT need him! Heat needs them to survive in this business! Look at him! The Lightning Crew is destroying him! Look how pathetic he is! Tha Puerto Rican and Stephen Joseph pick up Colombian Heat. They laugh evilly as Mr. Boricua grabs Heat and places him in between his legs. Boricua lifts Colombian Heat in the air. High into the air. He then drops Colombian Heat HARD onto the mat with the Latino Bomb (Powerbomb)! COLE Oh God! Oh God what a Latino Bomb from Mr. Boricua! CABOOSE That move just crushed Colombian Heat! I mean CRUSHED him! The Lightning Crew continues their beatdown. PRL and Vitamin X pick up Colombian Heat, who is barely conscious. Cuban Wall laughs and clutches Heat’s throat. Wall says a few words to him before lifting him up, giving him the Chokeslam onto the mat! COLE Now a Chokeslam! Colombian Heat can’t take anymore of this! The crowd chants, “HEAT! HEAT! HEAT! HEAT!” in the hope of bringing him back to life. PR and VX pick up Heat again. Cuban Wall grabs Heat and places him on his right shoulder. The crowd is in awe as Heat rests on Cuban Wall’s right shoulder. Wall bends down, crushing Colombian Heat with the Wallbreaker (Train Wreck)! Colombian Heat looks to be in a seizure. Cuban Wall bounces off the ropes, and comes down on Colombian Heat with The Lightning Crew Splash! COACH This just keeps getting worst for Colombian Heat! Tha Puerto Rican taunts Colombian Heat, who is knocked out. PRL and VX sit Heat up. They tell Thomas Rodriguez to hit him. Thomas says, “Me?” PRL and VX tell him again to hit Heat. Thomas gulps, and then walks over to Heat. He is nervous, but he spits in his hands, rubs them together…and then SLAPS Colombian Heat across the face! Heat falls back to the mat! COLE Even Thomas Rodriguez got a shot! COACH That has to be embarrassing for Heat! CABOOSE Way to go, Thomas! Good job! Thomas Rodriguez jumps up and down, happy at what he just did. Tha Puerto Rican and Vitamin X congratulate him. COLE Every single member of The Lightning Crew has attacked Colombian Heat, and yes I mean every single member, including Thomas Rodriguez! COACH The Lightning Crew has put Colombian Heat through Hell tonight as payback for The Lightning Crew losing to his team last Sunday at Climax! CABOOSE And he deserves every bad thing that happens to him! The little wanker! PRL stands over Heat, which causes the crowd to start booing. PRL gets ready to deliver the IntenseZone Elbow. COLE Oh no. Not this. CABOOSE Oh yes. Yes this. Tha Puerto Rican removes his right elbowpad. He spits on it, and then throws it down on Colombian Heat’s face. PRL does some weird hand signals, which are also done by Vitamin X and Lindsay. Puerto bounces off the ropes, leaps over Heat, and then bounces off the opposite ropes. CABOOSE It’s now time for the most electrifying move in professional wrestling, The IntenseZone Elbow! Puerto Rican stops to flip the crowd off, and then does The IntenseZone Elbow on Colombian Heat! COLE What was the point of doing that? Colombian Heat is knocked out! CABOOSE That was the exclamation point. PR wanted to be the last one to attack Heat. Puerto Rican gets up. Vitamin X high fives him. PRL poses. The crowd boos. PR calls for a microphone. COLE The Lightning Crew has just demolished Colombian Heat tonight right here in this very ring. COACH And just before Christmas too! CABOOSE Consider this The Lightning Crew’s Christmas present to Heat. COACH What a terrible Christmas present this is. CABOOSE Exactly. PRL has a microphone. He kicks Heat one more time. The Lightning Crew celebrates their latest evil deed. Meanwhile, Tha Puerto Rican stands over Colombian Heat and grabs his head, a sick, psychotic look on his face. “THE CORPORATE CHAMPION” THA PUERTO RICAN Colombian Heat! Colombian Heat! What you just went through is proof that you absolutely positively SUCK! I am SO GLAD that I kicked you out of The Lightning Crew. YOU were the weakest link in The Lightning Crew! And I just showed the millions and millions of Tha Puerto Rican’s fans that this is a fact! The crowd boos. THA PUERTO RICAN You want to fight me so bad? You want a shot at the 24/7 Title so bad? Well, you don’t need to even ask, because I’m going to go ahead and give you the title shot! COLE Whoa! PRL is putting his title on the line! PRL (CONT’D) Oh yeah. You. Me. 24/7 Title. At Anglepalooza! The crowd cheers. COACH Tha Puerto Rican is going to face Colombian Heat at Anglepalooza for the 24/7 Title! THA PUERTO RICAN So, on January 29th, I am going to put my PRESTIGIOUS 24/7 Championship on the line against you, Colombian Heat. One-on-one. No gimmicks. Just straight up wrestling! That way I can show you that I AM BETTER THAN YOU! Heat, on January 29th, YOUR ASS IS MINE! And when I beat you to retain my 24/7 Title, I will show you, I will show your friends Spanish Fly and John Brickston, I will show the OAOAST, and I will show these fans that Tha Puerto Rican WAS, IS, and FOREVER WILL BE BETTER THAN COLOMBIAN HEAT! MERRY CHRISTMAS, COLOMBIAN HEAT! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!! Tha Puerto Rican punches him in the forehead. PRL THE CHAMP HAS SPO-KUN~!!! “Know Your Role ‘99” starts playing. PRL spits on Colombian Heat’s face. Tha Puerto Rican gets up and looks at his Lightning Crew. He smiles evilly. COLE What a bombshell from Tha Puerto Rican! At Anglepalooza on January 29th, Tha Puerto Rican will defend the 24/7 Title against Colombian Heat in a one-on-one match! COACH Tha Puerto Rican has thrown down the challenge! You can tell how much he wants to beat Colombian Heat by issuing the challenge instead of Heat challenging him. CABOOSE You knew it was going to happen sooner or later. PRL just got it out of the way, and now we got a GREAT match set for Anglepalooza! “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, Stephen Joseph Popick, Vitamin X, Cuban Wall, Mr. Boricua, and Thomas Rodriguez pose in the center of the ring. PRL spins the belt plate on his custom made spinner 24/7 Title belt. Colombian Heat is still unconscious in the ring. PRL, Vitamin X, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, and Stephen Joseph Popick pose on the turnbuckles. CABOOSE The timer has started. We are now counting down the days until Anglepalooza when Tha Puerto Rican will finally, FINALLY, at last, beat Colombian Heat once and for all, and prove to him that he is better than him! PRL, VX, Lindsay, and Popick get off the turnbuckles. The Lightning Crew does The Lightning Crew Salute, then leave the ring with Popick. “Know Your Role ‘99” continues playing. COACH Colombian Heat has the opportunity come January 29th to take Tha Puerto Rican’s most valued possession, the 24/7 Championship. CABOOSE Yeah, but that’s not going to happen. What IS going to happen is Tha Puerto Rican is going to lay the smackdown on Colombian Heat’s candy ass and then pin him 1-2-3 in the middle of the ring just like Lindsay pinned Heat tonight. COACH I think Lindsay beating him tonight will be a wakeup call for Colombian Heat. Maybe Heat will train harder then he ever has before, because he will compete in what is without a doubt the biggest match of his life on January 29, 2006 at Anglepalooza. CABOOSE Nah, it’s not going to happen. PR spins his belt plate once again. The Lightning Crew and Stephen Joseph walk up the entrance ramp with evil smiles on their faces. Tha Puerto Rican high fives Vitamin X. COLE We are just 6 weeks away from Anglepalooza. And at Anglepalooza, as we just found out, “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican takes on Colombian Heat, his FORMER best friend, for the OAOAST 24/7 Title! What will happen as we countdown to Anglepalooza, which is 38 days away? We'll find out more next week, along with the Lethal Tag Rumble and more on our New Year's Spectacular. We'll see you next week. Remember to vote for the Angle Awards!! The camera does a close-up of Colombian Heat knocked out. The camera cuts to “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican laughing evilly as he sees Colombian Heat unconscious on the AngleTron while “Know Your Role ‘99” continues playing. Fade to black Edited December 23, 2005 by KingPK Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted December 23, 2005 (edited) CREDITS: Foshi Patty O'Green Ed Wood Caulfield Masked Man of Mystery King Cucaracha La Parka Your Car Nice Guy Adam KingPK Tony149 Stephen Joseph © 2005 OAOAST Entertainment. All rights reserved. Edited December 25, 2005 by Stephen Joseph Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
