Harry "suckup" knowles

[Guest J*ingus]

Okay, everyone who knows anything about the site aintitcoolnews and its webmaster, Harry Knowles (basically the Scott Keith of cinema), know that lots of people consider him a sellout and general shill for just about any studio where the people let him in free, or where he knows anybody involved, or if he just wants to kiss up in general.  Of course, lots of people disagree, and there's a lot of debate on the subject in his infamous TalkBack message boards.  

 

Well, I was going through his reviews, and noticed something odd.  Out of the last nineteen movies he's reviewed, covering everything he's seen over the last four or five months, he has disliked a grand total of TWO of them (Time Machine and Return To Neverland).  To ALL of the others, he's given positive recommendations, some of which (usually when he starts going on about his "love" for this movie) start to get downright embarrassing.  

 

I mean, this guy gave good reviews to Undercover Brother, Jason X, Collateral Damage, Orange County, Blade 2, so on and so forth.  Yeah, lots of people liked some of those movies, but dear lord in heaven who but an outright shill could've given glowing praise to ALL of them?  (And this isn't EVEN getting into his nauseating fanboy odes to Spiderman, Star Wars, and the fucking TRAILER for Two Towers.)  God, in some sick ways I almost wish I could be like him.  It must be great to love all but two movies out of a random batch of seventeen.

[Guest dreamer420]

I've thought that of Knowles too.  Actually ever since he appeared in The Faculty I knew something was up.

 

Good comparison with him and scott keith too by the way.  I bet they look alike too!

[Guest Ozymandias]

Knowles is a disgrace to movie fandom. The fucker said he cried during Armageddon MULTIPLE times he loved it so much! Said he "couldn't understand" why people didn't like it. Of course this was after he was flown to the set at NASA. I'm sure it's a coincidence.

 

Don't forget how he's always shilling for his untalented friends like Robert Rodriguez.

[Guest J*ingus]

Rodriguez can be damn good, El Mariachi, his short from Four Rooms, and Spy Kids all rocked.  But he can put out shitty movies too, as The Faculty proved.  Which Harry Knowles was in.  Which Harry Knowles gave a verbal blowjob in his review.  All coincedence, I'm sure.  

 

The final word on Harry: HE LIKED JAR JAR BINKS.  'Nuff said.  

 

And actually, I think that Keith and Knowles really DO look sort of similar.

[Guest Human Fly]

In his review for Spiderman he keeps talking about how he wept multiple time through Spiderman. The best part about that was that in talkback everyone was making fun of him for it.

 

One thing I hate about his site is the fact that every one of his reviews is riddled with spoilers! Half the time he puts spoiler warnings, but most of the time you have to find out the hard way. I never read his reviews until after I've seen the movie. The best part about this is that in the mission statement or whatever you want to call it on the site he's like "to deliver unbiased and spoiler free reviews". Whoever wrote that propaganda should be shot, because the reviews are anything but.

[Guest areacode212]

I agree that Knowles has pathetic taste/a shill. When someone here noted that Knowles gave a good review to Star Wars, I was going to type up a long post about why I hate him and why nobody should ever take his reviews seriously, but I had better things to do.

 

The only thing you need to do is find a copy of his review of The Mummy Returns. IIRC, he wrote that he had tears of joy streaming down his face as he watched it. That's pretty much all you need to know about that fat idiot. I can't believe some people think he's some kind of movie reviewing god. What the hell? What kind of sick fucking freak would cry out of joy from watching The Mummy Returns? God!! At MOST, I could see mild enthusiasm for the special effects or something (if you're, like, 10 years old), but tears of joy? He must live the world's most mundane existence.

[Guest areacode212]

BTW, I think Keith is much cooler than Knowles. Sure, he can be annoying sometimes, but he's NOWHERE in the league of Harry Knowles.

[Guest J*ingus]

I meant that Knowles's importance and influence in the fanboy movie reviewing world is a lot like Keith's is in the online wrestling community.  They both helped start some of the first websites about their hobbies, both have been around for about the same amount of time, both have a near-encyclopedic knowledge of their subject, and are both pretty hefty.  The difference is that Keith is knocked for his negativity, while Knowles is knocked for his blind shilling.

[Guest starvenger]

Knowles is overrated anyways.  His site is annoying at best, and quite unreadable in general.  If I want news, I go to Dark Horizons and IGN.

[Guest Human Fly]

Not to mention that Aintitcoolnews headlines are always blown way out of proportion. If they were a wrestling newsboard they would be the site that has "HBK coming back on Raw to unite NWO and DX!"

[Guest Ravenbomb]

HBK is uniting DX and nWo? Oh, I GOTTA watch that!

[Guest evenflowDDT]

So, I decided to check out this "Ain't it Cool" site, after hearing so much about it and I have to agree.  The site has one of the worst layouts I've ever seen (do the fonts really have to be THAT big?), and this Knowles guy can't write a review.  Granted, I'm not that great either, but at least I can give actual reasons why I like a movie and avoid using sentences like, "HOLY SHIT! UNDERCOVER BROTHER IS THE FUCKING BOMB! THIS MOVIE KICKS THE SHIT SIDEWAYS AND THROUGH THE CRACKS OF AUSTIN POWERS’ CROOKED FUCKIN’ TEETH!".

 

Ahem... I want to see Undercover Brother (no, really!), but you can be damned sure I'm going to find a better way to defend it than that... it sounds more like self-parody than actual criticism.

[Guest areacode212]

I meant that Knowles's importance and influence in the fanboy movie reviewing world is a lot like Keith's is in the online wrestling community.  They both helped start some of the first websites about their hobbies, both have been around for about the same amount of time, both have a near-encyclopedic knowledge of their subject, and are both pretty hefty.  The difference is that Keith is knocked for his negativity, while Knowles is knocked for his blind shilling.

Not to mention that both of them have written actual books. Still, at least Keith is a decent writer, whereas the only use I have for Knowles is for getting a good laugh at his dumb reviews.

 

Another thing that gets me is that he's had that website for years, has gotten a ton of media exposure for it, yet he doesn't bother to make the site look, if not attractive, then at least not fucking BUTT-ugly and impossible to navigate. I can't stand that site.