Sjl metal - wednesday, may 29th

[Guest Edwin MacPhisto]

SJL Metal ,Wednesday May 29th

Arena: Big Wang Candy Mountain, Huntsville, North Carolina

 

Singles Match

"The Franchise" Mak Francis vs. Impact

- Mak came close to upsetting IL, but it wasn't to be. Meanwhile, Impact picked up an impressive win in his first contest. Mak will get his shot at TNT's TV title on Crimson - but will have to get through Impact first...

 

Singles Match

"NBK" Josh Tupper vs. Poisyn

- The returning Josh Tupper gets a difficult assignment first up, with a match against the evil one, Poisyn. This one could go either way.

 

Tag Match

XF9 (Z/Ced Ordonez) vs. Cutthroat/Kojack

- Cutthroat, here is your tag match. The returned Ced Ordonez and all round funny guy Z will go up against Cutthroat and Kojack in what will no doubt be a hell of a match.

 

Singles Match

Mike Van Siclen vs. "Deathwish" Danny Williams

- After Danny was beaten to an absolute pulp on Crimson by TNT, he's going to have the match of his life to come up on top of the freshly returned MVS.

 

DOUBLE MAIN EVENT PART 1

2/3 Falls Match

"TNT" Taylor Nicholas Thompson vs. Tod deKindes

1st Fall: Exploding Board Match - C4 boards are all over the arena. You make one go off, you lose the fall.

2nd Fall: German Strap Match - I have no idea what it is, but the guys do.

3rd Fall: No Disqualifications - Anything goes.

- This intense rivalry has been building up for months - and now it comes to an end. These two men will lock horns in what will be a battle for the ages. But, after TNT's rampant spree on Crimson, will Tod be man who can put a stop to him? Or will he simply be another bloodstain in the ring?

 

DOUBLE MAIN EVENT PART 2

World/European Title Double Fall Match

Ash Ketchum © vs. Frost © vs. Sydney Sky vs. Insane Luchador

1st Fall: European Title

2nd Fall: World Title

- The 1st fall grants the winner the European title - the 2nd fall crowns a World champion. Sydney managed to gain access to this match via. defeating veteran Xero, whilst Rickmen got the win over Francis. Frost and Ash are here because they are champions. Yeah. Anyway, this will be a ripper of a match.

[Guest Edwin MacPhisto]

[Fade in]

 

Durandal falls from the side of the cage while the three combantants struggle to get to the top…

 

Axis: Durandal’s out of this! We’re gonna have a new World Champ!

 

[Quick cut]

 

Frost’s shot to Ash’s face seems to echo throughout the arena, Ash waivering at first, and then, with left hand on top of the cage... he begins to lean, then fall toward the outside of the cage!

 

King: It’s aaaaall over!!! Ash is gonna die!

 

Edwin: No he can’t... POKEMANIA IS FOREVER!!!! Like diamonds... and Ric Flair...

 

Ash saves himself on the cage as he’s falling

 

[Quick Cut]

 

Durandal’s still down in the ring as Ash falls from the cage but his arm snags the ankle of Frost’s right leg. Frost shakes his leg to get rid of Ketchum but they both plummit to the outside landing with a "THUD!", Frost hits the floor...

 

But only a second after Ash does the same. Ketchum and Frost lie motionless as the ring bell sounds and Funyon raises the mic to his lips, crowd cheering...

 

Funyon: Your winner and NEW SJL WORLD CHAMPION... ASH KETCHUMMMMMM!!!!

 

[Fade out]

 

A shot of the Big Wang Candy Mountain in Huntsville, North Carolina is shown from a diagonal angle as SJL Metal appears on millions of homes around the world. The words SJL METAL appear over a black screen and the words slowly fade out. A shot of the Smarktron inside the arena appears and after a large explosion and many pyrotechnics the show begins. The camera pans around the crowd as thousands of SJL fanatics scream their heads off. Signs like “MVS for MVP”, “I’m Sky High For Sydney Sky”, and “Frost cooler than your average Icelander”. The camera zooms in on the three-man commentator group as the large man in the middle starts to speak.

 

Axis: Hello and welcome to SJL METAL in Big Wang Candy Mountain, Huntsville, North Carolina. This capacity crowd of SJL fans shall bear witness to the wonderful card we have in store for you today. And it all concludes with our double main event!

 

MacPhisto: That right, we’ll have the returns of Tod deKindes back in action against former friend, now nemesis Taylor Nicholas Thompson in a best two out of three falls match-up. The first being an exploding board match, followed by deKindes own German Strap match and finally if falls one and two are split the match is concluded with a No disqualification match, where anything goes and everything is on the line.

 

Axis: So true and the other half of our double main event is a fatal four-way for both the SJL European and World Championships. Each pin fall determines a new champion for the two belts mentioned respectively.

 

King: For those who don’t know that means the European Title is won in the first fall and the SJL World Heavyweight Title is won in the second.

 

Axis: Correct King. Thanks for clarifying because those two match will be ones for the ages. And also some returning vets are coming back as Mike Van Siclen goes against Deathwish Danny Williams and The Natural Born Killer Josh Tupper takes on Poisyn.

 

Axis: Well onto the first match-up of SJL METAL between "The Franchise" Mak Francis and newcomer Impact.

 

King: Mak is coming off a devastating loss to Insane Luchador Andrew Rickmen which has ended his four match win streak and placed him into a match with TNT for Television Title and vaulted Luchador to a shot at both the European and World Title. Ah well, sucks to be Mak.

 

MacPhisto: Francis had Thompson beat in there last match-up until interference from Danny Williams gave Francis the win but cost him the TV title. Now the two men will hook up for round two and TNT no longer has Williams to back him in what should be an excellent match.

 

Axis: But let’s not forget about the newcomer who I may say has made quite an impact in the SJL so far.

 

King: SJL ratings have just dropped because of Axis’s terrible pun. I thought only MacPhisto could cause this but apparently the Foster lover over here got the magic too.

 

Axis: Very funny jackass. Anyways I’m speaking of Impact who got a wonderful win in his debut match against the veteran Kojack.

 

MacPhisto: Hopefully the still green Francis will not overlook the rookie Impact while preparing for his TV title shot because as we’ve already seen this youngster has come to play. With a devastating Front Flip Guillotine Leg Drop and speedy high impact moves, Impacts got all the tools.

 

Axis: We’ve seen many a wrestler in the SJL look past an opponent and pay the price.

 

King: Well, Francis needs this win to get back on track so he better not underestimate him. Also Tyler Kinkel will not be able to accompany Francis as per his return Insane Luchador re-injured the coaches ailing back.

 

As the arena light turn off. Funyon gets ready and the crowd gets ready as “Down with the Sickness” plays on low in the background.

 

[Whispered] ‘Are you Ready?’….

 

Blue and White strobe lights flash as the Smarktron airs highlights of Mak Francis hitting the perfect kick on TNT. This is followed by a blue and white photonegative image of Mak Francis…

 

[semi loud] ‘Are you Ready?’….

 

And a clip of him planting Scott Reid with The Franchise Tag followed by the blue and white photonegative image again…

 

[screamed] ‘CAUSE THE FRANCHISE HERE!’

 

The Smarktron flashes the words 'The Franchise' as the lights partially come up. This allows the crowd to see Mak Francis posed with both fists in the air. A semi-loud “Franchise” chant breaks out as he walks down to ringside without Tyler Kinkel. He enters the ring and Francis poses in the center of the ring raising his hands in a salute to the SJL fanatics.

 

Funyon: This contest is scheduled for one fall. Making his way to the ring…weighing in tonight at 225 pounds…from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania…’The Epitome of Execution’…”The Franchise” Maaaaaaaak Fraaaaannnciiiiis!

 

The music starts off with soft heartbeats, and sound wave lines on the Smarktron, in sync with the beats. After 7 or 8 beats, a large explosion goes off at the base of the entrance, ramp and “Are You Ready?” by Creed blasts through the arena.). As the smoke clears, Impact appears on the entryway, and makes his way to the ring.

 

Funyon: And his opponent…weighing in tonight at 210 pounds…from Miami, Florida…Immpaaaact!

 

Matthew Kivell checks both men from illegal objects and asks for the bell…

 

DING! DING! DING!

 

The two men circle each other and lock in a collar and elbow tie-up. Francis gains control and goes for a waist lock. Impact tries to break the waist lock by clutching Francis’s wrist but does not succeed. Impact quickly elbows Francis in the gut before he can toss him in a German suplex and places his leg over the now doubled over Francis’s neck. He executes a flip and delivers a solid belly to back suplex, dropping Francis on his back with a thud!  Impact goes for the cover and Kivell already in position starts the count…

 

One…

 

Tw-

 

Axis: And a strong kick-out by Francis at one and a half it’s a little too early for him to give up. Francis is normally the master of counters but Impact shows him up on this occasion. Impact had his German suplex well scouted.

 

MacPhisto: Smart move by Impact going for the cover because you never know if an opponent can kick-out of a move. Impacts speed gives him a great advantage in terms of counterattacks, however Francis’s ground attack can wear down this rookie and keep him on the mat.

 

King: Impact’s still not as fast as I am on a bad day!

 

Impact picks Francis up to his feet and whips him into the neutral corner. Francis then hits the turnbuckle and drapes both arms on either side of the top buckle hoping to steady himself. Impact doesn’t even give him a chance to breath as he’s already sprinting towards the ailing Franchise. Impact dives at his opponent and connects with a jumping calf kick to the face but Francis doesn’t go down as Impact quickly jumps to his feet. Francis is on dream-street as Impact kicks him in the side causing his body to jump from the impact. After another hard kick, Impact bounces off the second rope and attempts a Spinning back kick to the head…only to miss as Francis slumps to the ground from the first two kicks. Impact ends up crotching himself on the top rope as the crowd lets out a collect ouch!

 

King: God that’s about the funniest thing I’ve seen in the Junior Leagues since the HVT and Annie E. commercial before the nut shot match between that loser Z and my main man Flexxx.

 

MacPhisto: [chuckling] Yup that move truly had some impact…it just ended up hurting the wrong person.

 

Axis: Do you two have any compassion? Don’t you care at all for the welfare of Jlers?

 

MacPhisto: Didn’t you see the matches I booked most of them in last Crimson. Hell no!

 

Francis gets to his feet and sees the dangling Impact perched on the top rope nuts first. After laughing a little bit at his expense, Francis grabs the ropes causing them to shake up and down as Impacts face turns from one of grief to intense pain. Francis gets a mixed reaction from the crowd for this and to his credit stops the attack quickly as Kivell admonishes him.

 

Axis: Low blow literally and figuratively by the Franchise, hurting both Impacts pride and testicles!

 

Francis wraps his arms about the waist of Impact, whom he is now perpendicular with, and chucks him off the ropes and over his head. Impact soars though the air and lands on his neck and back crumpling in a heap. Francis goes over and covers Impact, Kivell ready and waiting to count…

 

One…

 

Two…

 

Th-

 

Axis: A kick-out at two and a half by Impact.

 

MacPhisto: Francis executing a nice t-bone suplex on Impact. The newcomer kicks-out proving he can take it as well as dish it out. You would have though Francis had learned but he’s still making rookie mistakes, although he’s cutting down on them.

 

Axis: “The Franchise” picks Impact up and hits a few right hands to the ear. Irish Whip by Francis…reversed by Impact…Francis comes back off the ropes and Impact hits the mat as Francis goes over top… Francis comes back again…back elbow attempt by Impact…ducked by Francis as he skids to a stop…and Francis connects with a textbook dropkick to the back of Impact’s head. Impact quickly up to his vertical base now cradling his neck. And the two men are now in a stare down after that fast paced action.

 

MacPhisto: Surprisingly Francis gets the better of Impact during the fast paced action while Impact out wrestled Francis in the beginning of this contest. I guess you could call it a role reversal.

 

King: Yuppers, MacPhisto did I mention that your wife and I had a role reversal during sex last night. She took control for once…Zing!

 

MacPhisto: Well, that’s okay because I better than everyone at everything. I’m Edwin MacPhisto the new SWF World Heavyweight Champion!

 

Axis: Thank God I was wondering when you were going to bring that up! Finally you can stick it to that pompous jackass for every time he’s talked about you not winning the title! I think an on air congratulations are in order straight from the Suicide King’s mouth.

 

King: I can’t believe Thugg lost and turned face in the same night. Don’t worry you’ll lose the title to Bo this week.  Oh yeah, and congratulations you no talent loser!

 

Axis: That’s better than I expected…

 

MacPhisto: Thanks King, I’ll treasure this moment always because you’re sissy, bitchy, PMS mood means that I’ve finally proved that I’m just as good if not better than you!

 

Impact looks to go for a collar and elbow tie-up but Francis gives him a kick to the midsection for his trouble. Francis hooks on a front face lock and hoists Impact into the air snapping him back down to the mat, with a snap suplex. Francis continues to hold on as he stands up again and lift Impact into the air but this time he slides over Francis’s back hooking his right arm around Francis’s neck and driving his head backwards onto the mat with a nasty Sit-out reverse DDT. Impact goes for the cover and hooks the far leg as Kivell moves into position…

 

One…

 

 

Two…

 

 

Thr-

 

Axis: And “The Franchise” gets the shoulder up just before the three count. That reverse DDT shook the mat. That was great execution by the rookie after countering out of Francis’s rolling snap suplexes.

 

MacPhisto: Like I said earlier Francis is flustered by Impacts speed, which is allowing him to counter a lot of maneuvers “The Franchise” isn’t use to opponents escaping. These thoughts brought to you by the NEW SJL WORLD CHAMP…”The Crown Prince of Flash and Panache”…Eddie MacPhisto!

 

King: You win one title and all of a sudden you think you’re gods gift to wrestling, Ridiculous!

 

Impact picks Francis up by the scruff of his neck and connects with a few rights to his ear. Impact attempts to whip Francis but it’s reversed and Impact flies into the turnbuckle flipping upside down and landing back on his feet a little woozy. Francis rushes in attempting a clothesline but Impact side steps and watches him hit the top buckle face first.  Francis backs out of the corner as Impact latches on with a waist lock. He pitches Francis over his head and releases the waist lock dropping “The Franchise” on his shoulders. Francis looks folded up in the center of the ring with his legs up over his head. Impact rushes over and covers by holding his legs to the mat…

 

One…

 

 

 

Two…

 

 

 

Three-

 

Axis: And Francis got the shoulder up! Man that suplex folded him up like an accordion. Francis has a lot of resiliency and just when you think he’s down he starts to make a comeback.

 

Impact picks Francis up again and connects with a straight jab to the jaw of Francis. Impact continues his barrage of right hand jabs but Francis, not known for a glass jaw, doesn’t go down. Finally he attempts to whip Francis into the turnbuckle but it’s reversed and Impact is tossed towards the corner with Francis following him in. Impact slightly slows down and springboards off the second rope/turnbuckle and turns in the air landing on Francis with a nice springboard cross body block, while “The Franchise” skids to a stop. But Francis catches the lighter man and hurls him in a suplex…

 

 

But Impact re shifts his weight and flips landing on his feet running back towards Francis and knocking him into the corner with a dropkick to his back. Francis staggers out of the corner backwards as Impact nails him to the canvas with a Reverse X-Factor. Impact grabs the left leg and pulls it towards him as Kivell slides into position as the crowd counts along…

 

One…

 

 

 

Two…

 

 

 

 

Three…

 

 

Axis: No! Francis gets a shoulder up! What fast paced action by these two men! I personally can’t believe Francis is keeping up with the rookie Impact.

 

MacPhisto: But at the end of these fast paced altercations who’s always seems to end up in control, Impact. Francis needs to stick to his style and stretch his opponent to slow him down. That way he can execute his finisher, which he’s already been setting-up for with all the attacks to Impact’s neck.

 

King: Yeah, the Franchise Tag is a devastating Fisherman’s buster that makes Mak’s opponents heads go splat against the mat. We’ve seen many people sent to concussion junction courtesy of “The Franchise”!

 

The rookie Impact now a little frustrated by Francis continuous kick-outs and picks him up going for a kick to the gut but Francis catches the boot. The hopping Impact regains his balance and attempts an enziguri kick to the head but Francis ducks under still grasping the leg. Impact’s now on his belly as Francis snitches in an ankle lock.

 

Axis: God, do everyone and their mother now have this move.

 

Impact crawls towards the ropes quickly but Francis drags him back into the center of the ring and intertwines his leg with Impacts’ ankle and bridges over top latching on to his neck and pulling upwards.

 

Axis: Geez, Francis is pulling submission holds out of nowhere to ground the newcomer. I didn’t know he had this many submission maneuvers.

 

King: Mak’s really trying to stretch Impact and slow down the match.

 

MacPhisto: Just like I said.

 

King: Please, everyone knew he needed to do that. Don’t oversell yourself.

 

MacPhisto: King shut up and bow down to the SWF World Champion!

 

King: I’d rather bow down and suck cock that do that!

 

MacPhisto: It’s finally been proven! King officially looooooooves the cock!

 

King: I never said that! Everyone knows that Aussies and English love the cock!

 

Axis: I thought we stopped talking about the cock. One backstage incident and everyone is a comedian. Well it looks like Francis has to break the hold as Impact has finally inched his way to the bottom cable after being in the dreaded ankle lock of doom and an interesting variation on a STF.

 

Francis places a rear chin lock on Impact again trying to slow down the match. After a little while the crowd gets behind Impact as starts to get to his feet. Impact grabs Francis’s wrist and twirls sideways giving him the leverage, while he executes an arm wrench. Francis executes a brief roll into a headstand flip and ends up in control with his own arm wrench and then goes behind into a hammerlock lifting the arm of Impact to add pressure.

 

Axis: I’m still amazed every time he does that counter. A great display of balance and acrobatics by “The Franchise” Mak Francis.

 

King: I’ve done that so many times that I got tire of using it as a counter. A shot with any illegal object produces the same results. These comments brought to you by your former SWF World Champing…"The King of Hearts”…"The Gambling Man”…and the SJL fanatics’ favorite World Champion announcer…The Suicide King!

 

MacPhisto: Stop talking. You only make yourself look like more of an ass.

 

Francis then throws Impact over his head in a German suplex motion. Francis releases him over the top after still holding the hammerlock giving Impact no way to cushion the impact! Francis pins and Kivell counts the live crowd still into the match even after the rest holds.

 

One…

 

 

Two…

 

 

Thr-

 

Axis: And Impact gets the shoulder up at two and a half! The rookie not going to give up, even to that hammerlock German suplex.

 

Francis is surprised by his opponent kicking out and quickly pushes Impact back to the mat pinning him again!

 

One…

 

 

Two…

 

T-

 

Axis: And a kick-out by Impact. Francis looks irate as he goes for another cover…One…Two and a kick-out by Impact. Francis looks to be shaken up by Impacts resiliency and I would be too if somebody kicked-out of that suplex he just did.

 

MacPhisto: Francis will never get anywhere with all the rookie mistakes. It seems that without Kinkel he isn’t remembering the little things.

 

King: Yeah. Hooking the leg is always important and Mak completely forgot to do it three straight times.

 

Francis gets to his feet and lays boots to the back of his opponent before elbow dropping his neck. Francis repeatedly gets up and drops down alternating the point of his elbow from Impact’s spine to his neck. Impact tries to cover up and move away but each elbow finds their mark injuring a specific body part. Finally Francis stops the onslaught and picks Impact up to his vertical base and whipping him into the corner. Francis walks over laying the boots to his ribs and midsection taking the breath out of Impact.

 

Axis: Francis stomping a mud hole and walking it dry!

 

Francis picks Impact back up and Irish Whips him into the turnbuckle briefly stunning the newcomer. Francis sprints in to clothesline Impact but receives a foot to the face for his trouble. Francis tries again only to get the same high impact treatment from Impact but this time Impact pulls himself up to the second turnbuckle waiting for a loopy Franchise to turn around.

 

Axis: He’s situating himself for the Falling! A damaging second rope tornado DDT that is the set-up his incredibly acrobatic finisher we discussed earlier, the Thunder Bomb! If he hits this it’s academic…

 

Francis turns into a jumping Impact that hooks an arm about his head and twirls through the air landing to the mat…in a standing position? Francis blocking the tornado DDT clasps Impact about the waist and flings Impact overhead holding the bridge.

 

King: Northern Lights suplex out of the tornado DDT by Francis!

 

ONE…

 

 

TWO…

 

 

THREE…

 

Axis: No?! Impact is actually bridging out of the suplex in an amazing showing of dexterity.

 

Impact rotates and now Francis is set up in front of him in the perfect position for a Flapjack powerbomb. Impact lifts Francis into the air and drops him straight down on his stomach. Impact flips Francis on his back and tired falls on him for the pin, the live crowd divided in half, cheering and booing both wrestlers…

 

ONE

 

 

TWO

 

 

THREE…

 

Axis: NO! Francis got the shoulder up! Another great showing on SJL METAL by “The Franchise” as he will not go down.

 

Impact picks Francis up and the two men go toe-to-toe trading right hands. Impact connects with a blow that rocks “The Franchise” but Francis fires back with a devastating strike. After trading blows back and forth, Francis finally gains the advantage and whips him into the ropes…but its reversed and Francis is sent careening into the ropes. Upon his return he’s lifted up into a Samoan Drop…but Francis floats over the top and lands on the ground behind Impact. He quickly turns around while grabbing Impact hanging the rookie’s neck across his shoulder as he drops to the canvas in a hangman neckbreaker. Francis doesn’t go for the cover but instead picks Impact up to his feet.

 

After Francis hooks on a front face lock, Impact tries to squirm free as the leg cradled. He fights out of the cradle but falls victim to a nasty elbow to the back of the neck. Francis lifts a now subdued Impact up into the air. Stalling for a brief second Francis falls backward dropping Impact skull to the stiff canvas with a vile and appalling THUD!

 

King: That’s the match folks! Do you hear that sound? It’s claxon of the waahmbulance coming to take Impact straight to concussion junction…non-stop, no get out of jail free card, courtesy of “The Franchise”! The impact was unmistakable! He’s just another highlight on Mak’s Smarktron entrance!

 

One…

 

 

Two…

 

 

 

 

 

 

Three!

 

DING! DING! DING!

 

Funyon: And the winner of this match, “The Franchise” Maaaaaaaak Fraaaaaaaanciiiiiiis!

 

Francis leaves the ring and strolls to the back to a large crowd reaction while Impact is just starting to move and regain his bearings.

 

Axis: The newcomer Impact held the advantage most of the match with non stop high impact attacks but the collegiate superstar Mak Francis pulls out a “W” with that debilitating Fisherman’s Buster…“The Franchise Tag”.

 

Impact slowly walks out a little dejected but the crowd gives him a large pop in appreciation of the top-flight match-up he took part in.

 

MacPhisto: I must say that Impact is shaping up to be one of the top young guns that will turn this Federation into something special. The kid gave an outstanding performance and is definitely a contender for an SJL Title in his near future.

[Guest Edwin MacPhisto]

The camera fades in with Ben Hardy being dwarfed by European Champion Frost.  He is leaning against a wall of lockers in the back, already in his wrestling gear and with the still bloody and cruddy Euro belt around his waist.  Crowd boos from out in the arena can be heard as they watch on the Smarktron.

 

Hardy: “I’m here with the Iceman from Iceland, Frost.  You lost a cage match this past Crimson by the thinnest of margins to Ash Ketchum, but you get another shot at him and the World Title tonight.”

 

Frost: (chuckles lowly) “Word has it that Ash Ketchum is not long for the SJL, but by stepping into the ring with me tonight, he might not be long for this world.  I do not take being defeated lightly, but there is a huge difference between pinning my shoulders to the mat and being crazy enough to jump off of a cage to the floor.  We will see how he fares against me in a REAL match tonight.”

 

Hardy: “As much as you want to get back at Ketchum, you have made it clear that the World belt means very little to you compared to the European title you now hold, which will also be on the line tonight against Ketchum, Sydney Sky and the Insane Luchadore.”

 

Frost: (turning more thoughtful in his voice) “I’ve thought long and hard about this match tonight.  I have thought about the cage match I’ve had with Ketchum.  I’ve thought about the triple threat match I had against Sydney Sky and the Luchadore…”

 

Hardy: (pulling the mic away from Frost and cutting in) “One that you let Sky win by draping her over IL, saying that only the pursuit of the European title meant anything to you.”

 

Hardy smiles like an idiot at the camera and Frost jerks the microphone out of his hand.  Hardy jumps back and Frost continues on.

 

Frost: “I have thought a lot about what is at stake tonight.  I’ve thought a lot about the people that are going to be in the ring tonight, the emotions I have toward them.  That’s right, you barely a step up from Chimps SJL fans might find it hard to believe, but I do have feelings and emotions.  Deep down in my heart, I feel what I need to do tonight.  Everything in my world is on the line and I will accomplish what is in my heart to do.”

 

Frost drops the mic and walks off of screen.  Hardy picks it up from off the floor and breathes a sigh of relief at not getting beat up as the camera fades from his location.

[Guest Edwin MacPhisto]

Axis: Welcome back to this edition of SJL Metal, if you just tuned in we have already had the privilege of viewing a spectacular match between the new comer Impact and the man that will soon receive a shot at the SJL Television Title Mac Francis.

 

Edwin: Mac needs to change is name to Toshiba because Mac is a computer and Toshiba is a TV!  

 

King: Toshiba blows Sony is the shit!

 

Axis: Well coming up next, we have the return of a man that once wreaked havoc upon the superstars in the under-card here in the SJL, and that man is the “Natural Born Killer” Josh Tupper!! And in his return he will be facing off against the man formally know as Matt Myers, Poisyn!

 

King: This will be another branch off of the former destruction member versus former destruction member tree.

 

Edwin: Don’t get me started on Destruction that is a chapter in the JL’s history that I wouldn’t mind forgetting! I’m almost positive that all of these men would want to forget about it as well.

 

King: Destruction wasn’t that bad during its early days, but it still isn’t as good as I am, but who is, I mean I’m simply the best!!!

 

Axis: Well let’s head to the ring and get this match underway.

 

The lights in the arena slowly dim down to a faint glow as all the lights focus in on the Smarkstron as the sound of a loud siren burst through the darkness as suddenly a spinning red siren appears on the Smarkstron as The words Natural Born Killer imprint themselves behind the sirens as suddenly jail cell bars slam down over the words and the screen goes black as the sound of Twiztid's, Broken Wingz cuts through the cheers, as quickly the arena lights up as five quick blasts of pyro emerge from the each side of the stage. As the last blast of pyro echoes through the arena the shape of "NBK" emerges from behind the dark curtain.

 

Funyon: This match is scheduled for one fall and will be fought under normal SJL rules, with the DQ and count out rules in effect. Now making his way to the ring in his return to the SJL, he weighs in at two hundred and ninety-nine pounds, from Toronto, Ontario, Canada. I’m proud to welcome back “The Natural Born Killer” JOSH TUPPERRRRRRRR!!!!!

 

As Funyon finishes up "NBK" slowly walks down the ramp and slides underneath the bottom rope.  "NBK" ascends the second turnbuckle and strikes his chest three times as the crowd erupts into a sea of uncontrollable cheers for the returning Tupper. Tupper jumps down to the mat and walks over to his corner, and "NBK" starts to stretch and try to get himself loosened up for what is certainly going to be a war.

 

Axis: Listen to these fans they are blowing the roof after the top of this place! I wouldn’t expect such a reception for someone like Tupper.

 

Edwin: TUPPER!! TUPPER!! TUPPER!!

 

King: Edwin you are worse then these damn fans. Now if it were someone like me entering in I would expect this kind of explosion from the fans. They may say they hate me but deep down they really love me!

 

Edwin: That’s because everyone loves you King, I love you, Axis loves you and all these fans here love you! But no one loves you as much as those damn Jlers love that cock!! Oh the good old cock!!  

 

King: But who doesn’t love the cock?

 

Edwin: That’s a very good question King, a very good question!

 

Axis: Would you two idiots shut up! This is a once in a lifetime moment for Tupper and you guys are ruining it!

 

King: Oh don’t worry Axis, I’m sure he will retire and return lots more times!!

 

As Tupper finishes up on his stretching the crowd is still exploding on cheers, that could only be compared to the sound of a thousand stampeding buffalo on the prairies or the fans after a Cutthroat match has ended, well as the fans cheer Tupper knows that the cheering will subside as the match will soon begin and the fans won’t matter, nothing will matter except for the task at hand and that is defeating the veteran Poisyn. Well just as Tupper begins to start to get into his zone, the lights in the arena flicker off, and purple pyro begins shooting out from the stage, as the first few guitar lines of Hoobastank’s “Crawling In The Dark” hits, as Poisyn emerges from a mysterious smoke that begins to flow out of the stage. As Poisyn walks out on stage, a green strobe light begins to flash all over the arena as Poisyn begins to walk down the ramp eyeing his opponent. As Poisyn continues his way down the ramp his eyes meet with Tupper’s and as Poisyn continues his way down the ramp the tension builds slowly as neither man wants to take his eyes off of his opponent.

 

Funyon: Now making his way to the ring he weighs in at two hundred and twenty-nine pounds, he is a member of The New Sound. He is the man they call POISYNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Fans: POISYN SUCKS!!! POISYN SUCKS!! POISYN SUCKS!!

 

Axis: These fans really don’t’ have much respect for the veteran Poisyn do they?

 

King: I have respect for Poisyn so all of these fans should have respect for him.

 

Edwin: These fans really need to be taught some damn respect!

 

As Myers slides under the bottom rope, he slowly takes off his bandana has his eyes stay fixated on Tupper. As Poisyn turns around and tosses this piece of SJL memorabilia into the crowd, as fans dive from all over trying to grasp a piece of JL history, Myers slowly turns around to face his former friend turned enemy in the “Natural Born Killer” Josh Tupper. Well as the fans still cheer loudly Tupper walks to the center of the ring and he is better by his former friend that he knew by the name of Matt Myers not Poisyn. But as each man stands in the center of the ring, Tupper staring down and Poisyn staring up the tension in the arena can be felt, as neither man wants to make the first move and set the pace for the match early on.

 

Axis: My god can you feel the tension inside of this place? It seems to be building by the second.

 

Edwin: Also building is my muscle definition as I pump up with the Worlds Strongest Fat Burner, Stacker 3.5!!!!!!!

 

King: While you’re stuck in the world of Stacker 3.5 I have already upgraded to Stack 4.0!!! With an extra chemical used to burn fat twice as fast and with ten percent less side effects!

 

Axis: Would you two idiots put your steroids away and help me call this match?

 

Edwin: Axis I’m putting you down for three cases!

 

King: And I’m putting you down for four!

 

Axis: Well as you can tell once again I’m stuck out here with these two morons, as the match is about to begin. The question is will Tupper have any ring rust left on him? Or, will he be able to defeat Poisyn? Who seems on top of his game as of late!!

 

Edwin: Poisyn seems to be on top of his game as of late, but Tupper is coming back from the long hiatus and he has the fans behind him in this one, this is a toss up and could go either direction!

 

King: Well both men have their strengths and their weaknesses, Tupper being the stronger of the two, will have to utilize his strength and not allow Poisyn to speed up the pace of the match! But if in the case that the pace of the match does pick up and Poisyn is able to keep up that speed he should be able to topple the wall known as the Natural Born Killer!

 

Ding…Ding…Ding… As the bell sounds neither man seems to flinch as they both continue to stare down each other, as they seemingly size each other up, you can tell that both men are going to try to make their move any second now and as they both have the same idea they both strike at the same time, CRACK!!! CRACK!!! A right hand delivered by both men as they lace into their opponents jaw with a stiff shot. But the shot knocks neither man down but back a step or two and they immediately charge at each other and both nail the other with a left hand. As both men stare at each other Poisyn leaps off of his feet and straightens out like a missile flying through the air and he connects with a drop kick to the jaw of Tupper, the first move of the match that seems to faze Tupper knocks him back into the ropes, but still doesn’t knock the larger man down.

 

Axis: Holy sh*t, Poisyn just nailed Tupper in the jaw with that dropkick and Tupper didn’t go down, he just feel back into the ropes!

 

Edwin: Tupper is a big boy, it’s going to take more then a dropkick to knock him down.

 

King: Nothing could knock me down! I’m like the Berlin Wall, because nothing can knock me down.

 

Axis: King the Berlin wall fell years ago, so technically you would be the wall that fell years ago!!!

 

King: I knew that I meant that I sell things so very well that I would crumble to my knees from a vicious dropkick like the one Poisyn just nailed Tupper with!

 

Tupper takes a step forward, and tries to regain his composer but Poisyn charges at Tupper and in one motion grabs Tupper’s arm and tries to whip him off of the ropes, but Tupper uses his much larger and stronger frame to plant himself and spins around and whips Poisyn off of the ropes. Poisyn charges back at Tupper, Tupper lowers his head to hopefully deliver a back body drop, but as Poisyn bounces off the ropes he has time to react and with multiple decisions, Poisyn decides that he is going to slide underneath Tupper and with lightning quick speed, Poisyn launches himself like a human torpedo through Tupper’s legs. Poisyn launches up to his feet and as Tupper turns around Poisyn leaps from the ring mat and up to the second rope, and Poisyn leaps to the second rope and twists his body in midair and levels Tupper with a forearm.

 

Axis: Poisyn is using his speedy reflexes to outwit Tupper early on in this one, but will he be able to keep up this pace for much longer.

 

Edwin: Poisyn just needs to slowly ware Tupper down and make sure Tupper doesn’t get any breaks because if Tupper manages to slow the match down Poisyn may be in for some serious problems!

 

King: Poisyn really needs to worry about not making a mistake, mistakes are killers these days!

 

As Poisyn jumps to his feet and too the second rope and he begins to taunt the crowd who seemed very displeased as Poisyn stares out at the fans that you can tell hate him with a passion.

 

Tupper slowly craws to his knees as Poisyn leaps from the turnbuckle and drives a fist into the side of Tupper’s head. But as Poisyn tries to drive another fist into Tupper’s face, Tupper grasps both of Poisyn’s legs and Tupper lifts Poisyn up and nails him straight down into the mat, in what seems to be a cross between a Spine Buster and an amateur wrestling take down, but whatever it happens to be it seems to knock the wind out of Poisyn as he crashes down to the mat with a THUDD!!! Poisyn quickly grasps his ribs as you can tell he is trying to suck in as much air as he possibly can. Tupper grabs Poisyn’s leg and jumps on top of him for the cover.

 

One…

 

Two…

 

Thr…As Poisyn lay on the mat with his lungs slowly starting to fill with air he still manages to launch his shoulder off of the mat, to save himself from suffering an early loss in this one.

 

Axis: There is that momentum switch we mentioned being so pivotal in this match, whoever has the momentum would have the upper hand in this one!

 

Edwin: I wonder if Josh is related to the person who invented Tupperware?

 

King: We all know that if he were related to the inventors of Tupperware he would be rich and not wrestling for a firm as shady as the JL!!!

 

While Poisyn still lays down trying to regain his composer Tupper jumps atop of him and nails him in the face again and again and again, as he tries to account some revenge for some of the damage that was dished out by Poisyn awhile earlier. Tupper continues the attack like a madman as the ref begins to administer the mandatory five count.

One…Tupper delivers another right hand to the face.

 

Two…

 

Three…Tupper continues with an onslaught of right and left hands that drive the back of Poisyn’s head into the back of the mat.

 

Four…As Tupper delivers one last shot to the face, he finally relinquishes his attack and he raises to his feet as the ref warns Tupper about testing his count again.

 

Ref: Tupper next time I’m going to disqualify you right away, understand?

 

Axis: You can hear the ref warning Tupper about another one of his out bursts of anger!!

 

CRACK!! CRACK!! CRACK!! Tupper quickly jumps to his feet and nails Poisyn with three stiff soccer kicks to the ribs. Tupper reaches down and grabs Poisyn by his long hair and he drags him to his feet. Still fighting for air Poisyn knows that he is in a bad way if he allows Tupper to get an advantage for a long period of time in this one. Tupper quickly pushes Poisyn back into the and SMACK!! SMACK!! Tupper lays into Poisyn with two straight knife-edge chops that seem to slice through Poisyn’s chest, forcing the air that has managed to be sucked back into Poisyn’s lungs rushes out as he doubles over.

 

Axis: You can hear the air rushing out of Poisyn’s lungs. I’m not sure how much longer he can hold out, he is really struggling to breathe!

 

Edwin: Tupper really doesn’t want Poisyn to be able to mount an offence!

 

King: Of course he doesn’t because as soon as Poisyn mount an offence Tupper is actually going to have to put some effort into the match!!

 

Axis: Tupper really needs to make sure he doesn’t under estimate Poisyn, because this veteran could turn the match around at any time and if Tupper is under estimating Poisyn I hope that Poisyn manages to defeat Tupper!!!

 

Edwin: But you are forgetting Axis that Tupper is a veteran here in the JL as well he has been in the JL off and on for over a year and I’m sure he isn’t under estimating Poisyn, if you think back to when Tupper won the Television Title he defeated Poisyn who was then known as Matt Myers inside the confines of a steal cage.

 

Axis: My God you have a memory span of over five minutes!!!

 

Tupper wraps his large hands around Poisyn’s throat and lifts him straight up and tosses him back into the turnbuckle with such force that is seems the ring shifts to the side a few inches. Not giving Poisyn any chance to recover Tupper grabs his arm and whips him straight across the ring and right into the turnbuckle and with the acceleration and impact if the ring had of moved at all in the opposite direction Tupper just corrected it. Tupper just seems to charge at Poisyn with his head down and his shoulder ready to be driven deep into Poisyn’s rib cage. As Tupper is no more then two steps away Poisyn jumps up and wraps his legs around Tupper’s arm and he basically uses Tupper’s back for leverage as he flips over Tupper and nails a powerbomb that snaps Tupper’s head off the mat and Poisyn holds onto the maneuver for the pin attempt.  

 

One…

 

Axis: This could be it for Tupper, his head snapped off that mat and he could be knocked out!!

 

Two…

 

 

Thre…Tupper regains his composer just in time to shoot his shoulder off of the mat as the referee’s hand was just about to hit the mat for the three count.

 

Axis: My God TUPPER MANAGED TO KICK OUT!! I THOUGHT THIS ONE WAS OVER!!

 

Edwin: Well it’s not over so don’t give yourself a heart attack!

 

King: Heart Attacks one of the side effects of Stacker 4.0!!!

 

Poisyn grasps the bottom rope as he slowly starts to pull himself up to his feet, using each rope for an extra bit of leverage as Tupper uses his hands to grasp his head and neck, as he seems to be in an enormous amount of pain. Poisyn being the first man to his feet slowly stands back regaining his full composer before trying to mount an offense. Well as Tupper finally manages to make it up to all fours the more vicious of the two men Poisyn drives his boot straight into the side of Tupper’s head, knocking Tupper down to the mat with power. Poisyn jumps on Tupper for another quick cover, but as Poisyn under estimates Tupper’s abilities he doesn’t hook the leg and he just nonchalantly lays his arm across Tupper’s chest.

 

One…

 

Two…Tupper knowing that if he waits any longer he may not be able to muster up the strength to kick out, he uses his strength to over power Poisyn off of him and across the ring.

 

Axis: Tupper has more fight left in him then I thought he would in his first match back in the JL!!

 

Edwin: Of course he wants to make a good impression on all the superstars that have made it to the JL since Tupper retired!!

 

King: Tupper may need to make a good impression on everyone but I have already made a great impression on everyone and that’s what everyone calls me KING!!

 

Edwin: I thought we called you king because that’s what your name is?

 

King: No, peasant you call me king because I am your king and I own you! I own everyone BWAHAHAHA!!!!!

 

Poisyn jumps to his feet and you can see that he is getting very frustrated with the fact that he isn’t able to put Tupper away in this one. Poisyn grabs Tupper’s arm and he drags Tupper to the exact center of the ring and Poisyn slowly walks to the turnbuckle before he steps through the ropes to the outside and he slowly climbs up the rope step by step taunting the fans and Tupper a bit more with each step he takes towards the top of the turnbuckles.

 

Axis: WHAT IS POISYN GOING TO DO HERE?!?!?!  

 

Edwin: He is going to fly like an eagle!! Let his wings be his guide! As he flies high! As he sighs high!!

 

King: Yes, folks this is just another reason why Edwin does not currently have a record deal!!!

 

Edwin: But remember I’m still looking for a record company to sign me to a short-term contract that pays very well!

 

Axis: For the love of god please no one sign this jackass to a record deal he will cause more problems then Eminem!

 

King: And with that comment Edwin will have a record deal by the end of the night!!

 

Poisyn takes one look down at the helpless Tupper and leaps off of the turnbuckle and in midair he thrusts his arms and legs in and once again he thrusts them straight back out and he comes crashing down on top of Tupper who doesn’t manage to protect himself at all and has Poisyn’s entire body weight come crashing down atop of his ribs. Poisyn bounces off top and begins to clench his ribs as the move takes a bit out of both men.

 

Axis: POISYN DROP!! POISYN DROP!! MY GOD MYER JUST NAILED THE POISYN DROP!!!!!!!!!

 

Edwin: This one has to be over there is no way in hell that Tupper is going to kick out of that one.

 

Poisyn finally manages to catch another few quick breaths and he draws them into his body before he crawls over on top of Tupper and grabs a hold of both of Tupper’s legs hoping that this will be the final fall of the match.

 

One….

 

Axis: This one is over right here!

 

Two…As the fans get up off of the edge of their seats and for the first time in this match what used to be a load roar has now become a dull hush, as they predict that the “Natural Born Killer” is going to defeated in his comeback.

 

Thre…With no time at all Tupper launches his shoulder off of the mat as the ref immediately makes sure that everyone in the arena knows that it was only a two counts, by jumping to his feet firing two fingers up in the air as the crowd explodes in cheers.

 

FANS: NBK!! NBK!! NBK!!

 

Axis: HOW IN THE HELL DID TUPPER KICK OUT? I CAN HARDLY BELIEVE MY EYES!!

 

King: I knew Tupper would kick out the entire time!

 

Poisyn jumps up to his feet and grabs the ref and pushes his back into the corner and begins to scream and yell, only because he thought that he did get a three count.

 

Poisyn: What the hell do you mean it was only two?

 

Ref: It was only a two count! Now get your damn hands off of me!!

 

Poisyn: FOR F*** SAKES!!!

 

While Poisyn still harasses the referee behind him Tupper manages to make it to one knee and at the exact moment that he turns around Tupper lunges towards him and in a last stitch effort Tupper drives his shoulder into Poisyn’s stomach and drives him straight down into the match.

 

Axis: HIT AND RUN!!!!!! HIT AND RUN!!!!! TUPPER JUST NAILED THE HIT AND RUN!!!!!!

 

Tupper stays atop of Poisyn and grabs his leg as the ref begins to count.

 

ONE….

 

 

TWO…All of the fans in the arena begin to explode as they have a sense that this is the end of the match right here.

 

 

THREE!!!!! Poisyn was unable to kick out as the referee grabs Tupper’s arm and raises it declaring Tupper the winner of the match.

 

Axis: What a successful return for Tupper here tonight on Metal!

 

Edwin: I knew Tupper would win this entire time.

 

King: No, you didn’t only I can predict the future!

 

Tupper quickly gets up to his feet and dives under the bottom rope to the outside of the ring and he reaches under the ring apron, removing an item that is not uncommonly seen when Tupper steps into the ring and that’s a sledgehammer. Tupper rolls under the bottom rope and gets into the ring as the ref attends to Poisyn who is now only rising to his feet, but as Poisyn turns around and notices Tupper standing there holding the hammer he dives under the bottom rope and right out of the ring and he takes off on a dead run up the ramp as the ref turns around and looks at Tupper who is staring down the ref with a look on his face that would bring chills to your spine.

 

Funyon: HERE IS YOUR WINNER, IN HIS JL RETURN “NBK” JOSH TUPPERRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Quickly the ref raises his hands to protect his face but to no luck, as Tupper drives the hammer deep into his stomach as the ref topples over clenching his stomach as Broken Wingz plays as Tupper walks out proudly.

 

Tupper: Forgive me Father for I have sinned!

 

Axis: We will be right back after this commercial with a tag match that will be nothing less then spectacular!! But the question here is what the hell has gotten into Tupper he won the match and still attacked the official.

 

The camera quickly cuts to a SWF Crossfire replay commercial.

[Guest Edwin MacPhisto]

…And we’re back! The crowd rah’s and cheers as the camera pans around them and the Metal theme blares, announcing the show’s return from commercial! As the fans roar, the house lights drop, electrical resonation humming from the speakers. Suddenly, with a loud ‘PSHHEWWW…’ a streak of blue pyro tears from the ceiling of the arena, exploding on the stage!  With a thunderclap, the arena is bathed in blue and the rock of Our Lady Peace’s ‘Whatever’ ignites the crowd!

 

Axis: “And welcome back to ESS… JAY… ELL Metal! Live from the, and I’m quoting here, ‘Big Wang Candy Mountain,’ in Huntsville, North Carolina!”

 

King: “Well, it’s… creative… name.”

 

Edwin: “Indeedly-doodly, it is! Almost sounds like your hometown, eh, King?”

 

(King Glowers)

 

Axis: “I’ve got another long night ahead, I see. Anyway, up next is a tag match featuring the odd team of Kojack and Cutthroat, versus Z and a returning Ced Ordonez.”

 

Edwin: “The C n’ Z connection! Splederifious! I can’t wait!”

 

Cutthroat throws aside the curtain, heading down the aisle, reveling in the adoration of the fans! The lights flash as Cutthroat curves down the barrier, tagging hands with the fans! Sliding into the ring, he ascends a turnbuckle, tossing his orange shirt and silver sunglasses to the crowd.

 

Edwin: “Ah, nothing like a superstar who gives souvenirs to the crowd! …sweaty souvenirs, but still…”

 

Axis: “I see Cutthroat has decided not to have Clair accompany him to the ring for this match. What do you read into that, King?”

 

King: “…She’s not here? Rats! I guess I’ll actually have to call the match instead of trying to look down her shirt.” (Pause. King realizes he’s speaking on autopilot.) “Um, I mean--!”

 

Edwin: “Heh. Surprise, surprise…”

 

As Cutthroat continues playing to the crowd, ‘Whatever’ fades out, and the arena drops into a deep blue. P.O.D’s ‘Boom’ rocks the speakers, as a golden burst of fireworks splurts up from the stage! Kojack throws aside the curtain, strutting down the aisle to a chorus of boos! He smirks and eggs the fans on, walking slowly to the ring and up the stairs. In the ring, Funyon gulps, memories of Kojack beating him down while trying to introduce him still fresh in his mind. Warily, Funyon raises the microphone…

 

Funyon: “The following match, scheduled for one fall, is a TAG TEAM MATCH!” (Crowd Pop! “Introducing first, at a combined weight of 454lbs… CUTTHROAT… and… KOOOOJACK!”

 

Axis: “It’s interesting that Cutthroat would want a partner like Kojack, considering I doubt they’ll be able to co-exist. Although… Kojack was half of the American Wild Side, so he may have wanted him to counter his inexperience…”

 

King: “So tehn tell me, why did KOJACK team up with a loser like CUTTROAT? Mark my words, if he goes *one* tag without trying to beat the hell out of him other, I’ll… I’ll…”

 

Edwin: “Strip naked when you get back to the hotel, smear yourself in peanut butter, and run through the hallway screaming for a piece of bread?”

 

King: “…”

 

Cutthroat eagerly discusses the match with Kojack, who listens half-heartedly. They continue to speak... when the crowd explodes as the opening strains of ‘Epic’ kick up!! Tossing aside the curtain, Z steps down the ramp, tagging hands with a few fans along the way! He walks up the stairs, stepping through the ropes, his lack of a partner rather obvious…

 

Axis: “And there he is! Member of XF9, lovable mirthster, and one half of the C n’ Z connection!”

 

King(deadpans): “Huzzah. You know, I’m sensing a definite lack of something here, Axis… say, Z’s partner?”

 

Edwin: “Well, he’s asked Funyon for the mic, so…”

 

Pacing around the ring, microphone in hand, Z eyes Kojack and Cutthroat warily. He shakes out his head, before raising the mic to his lips, and…

 

Z: “Hello, Carolina!” (Cheap pop! “Huntsville, North Carolina!” (Another cheap pop! “Huntsville, North Carolina… The same state which you might find such other great cities as… Greensboro!” (Third Pop!  “Burlington!” (More Pops! “Durham!” (Yet More Pops! “And, if you follow that interstate all the way down, you might find yourself in… RALEIGH!!” (POP!! “…Man, how about those Hurricanes?” (The crowd gives another mighty pop, fading into cheers and applause)

 

King(disgusted): “Aw, geeze…”

 

Axis: “Z obviously having a bit of fun playing to the crowd. But you have to wonder if he’s going to get to the point?”

 

Edwin: “Pah! Forget that, Z’s scoring A+ in Mac Daddy etiquette! Keep the pops coming!”

 

Z: “Okay, now, you’er probably wondering why exactly I’m wasting everyone’s time, right? …Anyone wanna’ guess?”

 

Mixed shouts of “To talk down Tom!” and “To Abuse Cutthroat!” and “For another Nuthsot match!” ring out, but are all drown out by the thunderous “OR-DON-EZ! OR-DON-EZ!” chant taken by the crowd!

 

King: “Aw, man, he just doesn’t STOP!”

 

Axis: “Hmm… But I think we’ve gotten to the source of the issue.”

 

Z motions to quiet down the crowd, then…

 

Z: “Correctamungo! My, you Carolina-ers are smart ones, eh?” [Yes, another cheap pop!] “Alright! So, without further adieu… I present to you… the man with a tan to put Hogan to shame… the man who once stopped a nuclear meltdown with chewing gum, three lawnmowers and the 3rd line of the Dallas Stars… the man who had sexual relations with YOUR mother…” (Z grins in smartassed fashion and points at King)

 

King: “What the hell!? You little ingrate! If I wasn’t retired, I’d--!”

 

Edwin(sly): “Are you saying you couldn’t take him NOW, Kingy?”

 

King: “What!? T-that’s ridiculous! I… I just might pull a muscle during the beating, that’s all!”

 

Z(smirking): “The man who is rumored to have actually beaten Thoth at a round of KoF! And not ONLY my best friend, but a Super-Saiyen as well! Please welcome… CED… ORDONEZ!!”

 

As Z finishes, the arena lights dim slightly and "B4U Glorious Style" pumps up the crowd! The lights around the entranceway flash in beat to the bass and the crowd chants "Ced!" in unison! The curtains are pulled back by the emerging Ordonez… who looks VERY different. His short black hair is now spiky, with brown highlights. His tights are now royal blue, short, and cut off at the knee. The right side sports a silver, stylized cross with deep blue lightning draped around it. The soles of his royal blue boots, with the royal blue w/ black trim shinguards, clank on the steel. Ced adjusts his blue wrist tape, before gazing out over the crowd…  

 

Edwin: “Whooo! The Ced is BACK, baby! I must say, I love the style! Although shinguards are… shall we say, ‘gauche’?”

 

King: “Yeah, yeah… the carpet doesn’t match the drapes. I get it already, MacPhisto. And it’s not bad… for a hobo. He can’t match my style, but what do you expect, eh?”

 

Axis: “I see… Does your all-encompassing knowledge include fashion sense, too?”

 

King: “They don’t call me ‘Heatbreaker’ for nothing! Of course I know style! And that is NOT ‘style.’ Even Mark had better fashion sense!”

 

As the DDR song goes into full techno gear, Ced heads down the aisle, slapping hands with several of the screaming fans! He reaches the bottom of the ramp… and stops. He strikes a pose… as blue, black and silver streamers are thrown for the crowd!

 

Edwin: “Streamers… Bloody streamers! That’s so tacky, it’s genius! How can you not love this, King?”

 

King: “Bah humbug…”

 

Ced finishes his pose, and sprints into the ring, high-fiving Z as he comes to their corner. Referee Sexton Hardcastle signals the timekeeper, starting the match…

 

**DING!DING!DING!**

 

Axis: “Well, cheap heat, new looks, and a few King insults later, it looks like we’re finally ready to start the match!”

 

Edwin: “And it looks like New Look Ced and Kojack shall be leading this dance!”

 

Partners on the apron, Ced and Kojack circle each other, Ced trying to focus in spite of the ear splitting ‘OR-DON-EZ! OR-DON-EZ!’ chant! Ced tries (and fails) to contain beaming in pride at the chant, as he re-focuses on Kojack. Kojack leans forward in a ready crouch, accepting Ced as they grapple up in a collar-and-elbow tie up! They jockey for position for a moment… before Ced breaks, plucking Kojack’s arm and flinging him down in a crisp armdrag! Kojack scrambles up, shaking out the cobwebs, before re-aligning himself with Ced. Kojack eventually stops circling Ced, leaning forward again, extending a single hand…

 

Axis: “Hmm… I think Kojack’s trying to get Ced in for a test of strength…”

 

King: “Pfft… Ced’s a fool if he accepts. Kojack has seven inches on him, and, what, thirty pounds?”

 

Edwin: “You? Doing research? GASP!” (Edwin grabs his chest and pantomimes having heart attack)

 

Tentatively, Ced reaches out, locking fingers with Kojack. He reaches over, other hand meeting Kojack’s… and is almost bowled over as Kojack suddenly forces all his weight and strength on him! Ced steps back, but is still bent practically all the way over! Kojack brings their arms around, forcing Ced’s forearms into his face! Ced struggles mightily as Kojack continues to inch him backward, when suddenly… Ced drops! Ced throws himself forward as best he can as he falls, sliding through Kojack’s legs and rising up behind him! …with Kojack’s hands still in his arms.

 

King: “Low Blow! Unethical Treatment of the Testicles! Disqualification!”

 

Axis: “It’s still pretty early in the match, King! I don’t think that Harcastle is accustomed to calling DQ’s so early!”

 

With Kojack neatly doubled over, Ced swiftly kicks him in the rear, toppling Kojack to the ropes! He barley recovers in time to shamble into them, ricocheting off… to be DROPped by a DROP kick from Ordonez! Kojack thumps to the mat, rolling as best he can to his corner. Barley at his knees, he ‘tags’ Cutthroat at the thigh!

 

Axis: “And that would be the first tag of the match!”

 

Edwin: “You can’t say that Cutthroat looks too thrilled to be getting into the ring with a fired up Ced.”

 

Cutthroat looks down at Kojack in a bit of disbelief, before reluctantly entering the ring. Ced stares a hole through him, as Cutthroat paces in circle… before trying to fake Ced out with quick right jab… that he buys! Ced strafes left… right into the sole of Cutthroat’s boot, as he smacks Ced in the face with a solid kick! Wisely keeping his distance, Cutthroat fires off a few shin kicks, on the knee and up Ced’s thigh! Gaining confidence as he rises, Cutthroat begins to throw stiffer kicks, shifting legs as he belts Ced in the ribcage!

 

Axis: “Cutthroat’s confidence swelling with every blow he gets on Ced, here. But I think he’s completely forgetting that he started out wanting to be on the defensive!”

 

King: “Pah, Defensive, shcmensive! If he can keep this up, you know what else will be swelling? Ced’s chest!”

 

Finally, Cutthroat abandons any defensive ideas, crouching… and leaping up with a vicious roundhouse kick the almost has Ced’s head spinning 180°! Ced collapses to one knee, as Cutthroat grins! Oozing overconfidence, he rears back to try again… and Ced pops to his full height, catching the kick!

 

Edwin(falsetto): “Uh-oh!” (Normal) “Defensive, schmensive, huh?”

 

King: “Well… what do you expect!? It’s CUTTHROAT! I can’t account for theses things!”

 

Axis: “Riiiiiiight… Anyway, Cutthroat is in quite a predicament here… as Ced nearly rips his leg out with a Dragon Screw Legwhip!”

 

Cutthroat crumbles to the canvas, as Ced, still holding onto Cutthroat’s leg, rolls over top of him back first for a pin, in a single fluid motion! Hardcastle hits the mat…

 

One!

 

Tw—No chance!

 

Un-surprised at Cutthroat kicking out, Ced pulls him to his corner, quickly slapping the hand of his partner, Z.

 

Axis: “After that quick pinfall attempt, C n’ Z make their first tag of the match-up!”

 

King: “Flurg. The peanut gallery. If I may, I think I’ll just hail this popcorn vendor here…Garcon!”

 

As King (further) detracts himself from the match, Z spies the recovering Cutthroat, pulling himself up the ropes, a waltzes down the apron. Quickly grabbing hold of Cutthroat’s head, he turns into a ¾ facelock… and drops Cutthroat, well, throat first across the ropes in a wicked guillotine! Cutthroat pops back, but does not fall down, waving his arms to keep his balance! Rapidly, Z dives under the ropes, swatting Cutthroat’s leg’s from under him, sending him crashing neck-first on the ropes in a SECOND guillotine! This time, Cutthroat is bounced right back down on the mat in from of Z, who scampers for a cover!

 

One!

 

TWO—NO!

 

Edwin: “Well, this one lasted a little longer, at least.”

 

Axis: “Cutthroat trying to get to his feet… but is stopped by a couple, uh, weak looking stomps from Z!”

 

King(muching on some popcorn): “BOOOO! I -munch!- pafed oo -chomp!- see ee get featen! -crunch!- ooo… vaft didn’t dound goofd.”

 

Z continues to frustrate Cutthroat’s attempts to rise to his feet, bouncing off the ropes for a deliberate kneedrop aimed at driving Cutthroat’s face into the canvas… but MISSES! Cutthroat pulls his head out of range, letting Z’s knee drop painfully to the ring! Z hops to one foor, hobbling around in pain as he clutches his knee… an falls flat on the mat as Cutthroat dropkicks the other one from under him! Z rolls on the mat, as Cutthroat hops to the corner, slapping an unresponsive Kojack on the shoulder! Kojack steps into the ring halfheartedly…his gaze changing views from Cutthroat to the announcer’s table, as several kernels of popcorn brush his shoulder.

 

King(still eating): “BOOO! I fant ‘ore eatfowns! Not turnobil! BOO!” (He tosses a few more kernels of popcorn… before Axis takes the bag)

 

Axis: “Can’t we go *five minutes* without something unprofessional happening? Yeesh… Edwin, guard this.”

 

Edwin: “Yay! Nummy, nummy pop cor—‘Pink Elephant Flavour’? Who the heck eats Pink Elephant Flavour?”

 

(King whistles innocently)

 

Kojack steps through the ropes and eyes the downed Z. Kojack insults him until he finally gets to his feet and calmly sweeps Z’s legs out from underneath him causing Z to flop hard onto his back. He soaks in the booing from the crowd brought on by his tactics before turning Z onto his stomach and applying an ankle lock onto Z in the center of the ring!

 

Edwin: “Ankle lock applied!”

 

King: “Oh yeah.” (grins) “This one’s over.”

 

Axis: “Okay, look, we’ve been *through* this…”

 

Sexton shuffles over to Z asking the XF9er if he wants to give it up. Despite a pained expression on his face, Z adamantly shakes his head as a concerned Ced watches from the corner.

 

Ced begins to bang on the turnbuckle and the crowd begins to rally behind his partner with a “Z!” chant that increases in volume until it becomes deafening!

 

Axis: “Ced, trying to rally this Carolina crowd behind his partner!”

 

King: “Z? *Z*!? What the hell is Z going to do with the crowd behind him?”

 

Z, in classic babyface fashion, feeds off of the Huntsville crowd’s energy and slowly...inches…to…the ropes. Z stretches his hand out and makes a swing at the ropes…

 

Edwin: “That’s what, King! WHOO! Stick it to the Meat Parade, Z!”

 

King: “…”

 

…missing completely.

 

King(grin): “Ha-ha yourself, Britty.”

 

Edwin: “Bloody hell.”

 

He tries again and manages to get his palm on the bottom rope, but Kojack pulls him back and turns it into a full blown Torque, Z letting out a most painful scream!

 

Axis: “The Torque! Kojack clamping on him incredibly painful submission finisher!”

 

King: “Ah…listen to that, you two! That’s not just pain… that’s MUSIC!”

 

Ced hears it loud and clear and wastes no time rushing into the ring and stomps away at Kojack until he finally releases the hold! Z clutches his ankle as an annoyed Kojack turns to face Ced and is met with a gamengiri right on the button! Kojack looks discombobulated as he sways backward into a neutral corner. Hardcastle finishes checking on Z and confronts Ced to tell him to return to his corner. He yells words of encouragement to his partner before respecting the demands of the referee.

 

Axis: “Ced, as always, playing the sportsman…”

 

King: “And letting his partner get killed in the process! You know what Ced needs, Axis? A SPINE! He needs to stick it to those stupid zebras! He needs to start breaking rules! …and most importantly, he needs to ditch Z.”

 

Axis: “In other words, he needs to become a carbon copy of you, right?”

 

King: “Why… that’s a fabulous idea!”

 

Edwin: “King, Ced’s trying to *get out* of a massive loving streak!”

 

Kojack shakes the cobwebs while getting up in the corner as Z braces himself on the ropes, trying to put wait on his ankle as he hobbles toward Ced. Kojack returns from his momentary daze and rushes at Z to cut him off. Kojack slugs away at Z with some solid punches to the temple until Z actually blocks one and comes back with a right hand of his own! Kojack flinches and Z peppers him with lightning… erm… ‘Winnebago’ quick left jabs. He winds up the right hand and puts all the power he has into a haymaker, but Kojack ducks! The power of his punch sends Z spinning completely around… and when Kojack raises his head again, he gets clocked with the completely inadvertent Arm Grenade!!

 

Axis: “Good lord! It never fails to amaze me, but Z’s luck bails him out yet again!”

 

King: “Luck, shmuck! Kojack should be ashamed to sell that!”

 

Z stretches out his hand and leans forward to tag in Ced, who promptly runs into the opposite set of ropes. He bounces off them and, once he gets to the center off the ring, begins to tumble forward. He ends his roll right at the side of Kojack before jumping into the air with a forward somersault and landing onto Kojack with a Rolling Thunder!

 

King: “What the hell was that!?”

 

Axis: “That was…” (shuffles through notes) “Yes, I believe that was Ced and Z’s new tag move, the Ruff ‘n’ Tumble!”

 

Edwin: “Well, whatever it is, it just flipped the burgers at the concession stand!"

 

Ced pulls Kojack to his feet, takes his leg and twists hard with a Dragon Screw Legwhip. Kojack rolls to his feet with a bit a discomfort in his knee and Ced doesn’t help the matter at all by jumping into the air and dropkicking the knee. He is completely fired up as he grabs a hold of Kojack, who gingerly hops around on the injured leg.  Ced thinks of what to do next, but Kojack will have none of it, throwing Ced’s hands off of him and raking the eyes of the Filipino.

 

Ced walks forward, covering his eyes,  Kojack taking advantage with a punch to the gut and a harsh DDT. Kojack tends to his knee and, knowing something just doesn’t feel right, begins crawling his way towards an excited Cutthroat. At the same time, Ced, who is in a slight daze, struggles to find his corner and Z…

 

Axis: “Ced, trying to make that quick tag…”

 

King: “I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again… to *Z*!? What the hell is the world coming to when you have to make your hot-tag to *Z*!?”

 

**SLAP!**

 

Cutthroat gets the tag!

 

**SLAP!**

 

…And so does Z!!!

 

Edwin: “I knew it was coming… but, HOT TAG! HOT TAG! HOT TAG!! WHOO!!”

 

Axis: “Z’s now in the ring… and he’s a house of fire! Blitzing Cutthroat with those hard overhand punches!”

 

The crowd roars as Z cracks his hand down on Cutthroat’s face for the third time in a punch, sending the SJL superstar reeling! With CT on his heels, Z grabs him by the thighs… and cans him across his knee in an Inverted Atomic Drop! Cutthroat clutches his junk, but has little time to be soothed as Z throws him to the ropes, bouncing off himself as Cutthroat returns… and is snapped to the canvas with a Swinging Neck-Breaker! Giving CT no time to rest, Z hauls him up by his hair, and positions him between his legs!

 

Axis: “Z may actually be looking to end this one with a sit-out piledriver!”

 

Edwin: “We’ve never seen him use that one before, Axey-buddy, so it could have a big splash!”

 

King: “Whale, that theory might hold water anyplace else, Edwin. But this is Z! Carp and Roe all you want, I spit upon any ludicrous insinuations!”

 

Axis: “Buoy, I shored fell for this one. If we could be flowing on?”  

 

Z receives an impressive pop as he takes a moment to do the Vader ‘Who’s da’ man!’ pose! (Which looks… odd on him) before reaching under Cutthroat with both hands and…

 

…only managing to get him up two feet. The announcers, Ced, and Kojack share sad looks, as Z regroups and tries again… with the same result. Finally getting enough time to recover, Cutthroat grabs Z by his calves, and swiftly backdrops him behind him! Shaking his head out, Z staggers to his feet... but Cutthroat is waiting, as he levels Z with a picture perfect dropkick! CT attempts to keep the momentum going, tossing Z to the ropes… who literally falls into the throw, accidentally reversing! Cutthroat hurtles into his own corner, ramming into Kojack on the apron! Unable to get himself out of the way, Kojack flies off of the apron, connecting violently to the steel barrier with his knee! Kojack howls in pain on the outside, but Cutthroat doesn’t seem to notice…

 

Axis: “Kojack looks to be in serious pain after hitting that railing!”

 

Edwin: “Hardcastle is tending to him right now… but I think we might need the EMT’s!”

 

King(resigned): “Why can’t *Z* ever get injured?”

 

As Sexton tries to help a wailing Kojack to his feet; Cutthroat bounces off the ropes… and lands a vicious soccer kick into the mouth of Z, who was telegraphing a backdrop! Z shoots up… and grabbing his hand, Cutthroat… gets an idea! He points to the nearest turnbuckle, and still holding Z’s hand, begins to step up to the top.

 

Axis: “Cutthroat looking to finish off the resilient Z with something dangerous, here…”

 

Suddenly in a spectacular display of athleticism, CT actually *runs* across the ropes, still holding Z’s hand! Reaching the other turnbuckle, he jumps from rope-to-rope, springboarding off and letting go of Z’s hand… as he scissors his legs around Z’s head for a massive Frankensteiner! …but the rarely done move throw’s CT off balance! Cutthroat totters on Z’s head, as Z struggles with his weight, falling forward… and bouncing Cutthroat off the top rope! All of CT’s weight shifts backward, as Z stumbles under it! He begins to fall back with Cutthroat still on his soulders… as Ced serves a glance to Hardcastle, still seeing him busy with turning Kojack over to the EMT’s! Gambling the match, Ced jumps on the rope, flinging himself off in a full flip!! As Cutthroat falls to the ground, face first, Ced comes out of his flip, landing a *brutal* axe kick onto the back of CT’s head!!

 

Axis: “OH MY GOD! That was Ced’s new finisher, the Silver Lining!”

 

Edwin: “But that impact had to be improved with… well… Z’s reverse ‘powerbomb.’ …so what the heck do we call the double-team, then?”

 

With Cuttroat out, and Z nearly out, Ced quickly drapes Z’s arm across Cutthroat, scurrying back to the apron, as the sound of the commotion has gotten Sexton’s attention! Seeing the pin, he sprints into the ring, as the crowd chants with his hand!!

 

“One!”

 

 

 

 

 

“TWO!!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“THREE!!!”

 

**DING!DING!DING!”

 

Funyon: “The winner’s of this match… the Ced… and Z… CONNECTION!!”

 

Axis: “Well, Z and Ced getting a win off of that… creative… maneuver!”

 

Edwin: “The Panda Punkout! How’s that?”

 

King: “…”

 

Axis: “Okayyyyy… Anyway, more Metal, after these messages!”

 

 

(We fade with the shot of Ced and Z celebrating, and ‘B4U Glorious Style’ taking us to commercial…)

[Guest Edwin MacPhisto]

The camera cuts to a dressing room door with a nameplate that reads ‘Sydney Sky.’  The crowd in the arena can be heard popping like mad, until the camera pulls back and reveals Ben Hardy standing there.  The crowd can now be heard groaning.

 

Hardy: “I’m here in front of Sydney Sky’s dressing room.  A woman who has only recently returned to the SJL within the past month, but one who already has a shot at double gold tonight.  (Hardy glances to the side and down the hall)  And here she comes now.”

 

Sky walks into frame with a giant gym bag over her shoulder and wearing her trademark “street clothes” of a plaid skirt and a white dress shirt over a black tank top.  She pulls short of walking into her dressing room at the sight of Hardy.

 

Hardy: “You are preparing to walk into the ring tonight with three of the toughest men in the SJL for a shot at both the European and World titles.  In short, how do you feel and what are your chances.”

 

Sky: (beaming ear to ear with a dazzling smile)  “I know I might not be as strong as Frost, or as fast as IL, or as skilled Ash, but I have one thing in my favor above them.  (she pauses for dramatic effect)  Determination.  I need to prove to the three men I’ll be facing tonight, the fans out there in the arena and watching at home, everyone in the back here, and most importantly myself that I have what it takes to be the top wrestler in the SJL.  And, I must say that I feel really good about doing that right now.”

 

The audience can be heard cheering madly again as Hardy takes the mic back and Sky puts a hand on her locker room door to push it open.  She takes her other hand and pinches Hardy on the cheek lovingly.  He turns beat red and just stumbles off of camera without saying a word.  Sky enters her dressing room and the camera lingers to peak inside.

 

On the desk right inside the door is a hard to miss bouquet of bright red roses.  Sky drops her bag and puts her hands to her face in shock at the sight.  She leans over the vase and takes a huge whiff of the flowers intoxicating aroma.  She picks up the card lying right in front of the vase and reads it aloud, almost under her breath.  

 

Sky: “Good luck with the match tonight, as if you need it.  Love, a Secret Admirer.”

 

Sky shrugs her shoulders, gifts from admirers are not that new to her, and she sits the card back on the table.  She starts stretching for the upcoming match as the camera zooms in on the flowers and fades out.

[Guest Edwin MacPhisto]

Axis: Good day mates, and welcome back to SJL Metal.  Coming up in just a few short moments, we will witness the long awaited return of Mike Van Silcen.

 

Edwin: You mean the Amazing Mike Van Silcen.  

 

King: Amazing my ass, I don’t see a World Title around his waist.

 

Edwin: I don’t see one around your waist either!

 

King: There used to be, which is more than I can say for you or MVS!

 

Axis: Lets not get off topic guys, we did enough of that on Crimson.  

 

Edwin: Sorry Axis.  Mike Van Silcen was one of the most promising and exciting young stars in the federation. But on he March 30, he suffered a broken leg at the hands of former SJL Champion Durandal.

 

Axis: A broken leg is a very serious injury. You have to wonder if Mike will be his usual high flying risk taking self, or will he a grounded shadow of his former self.    

 

King: The high flying MVS, the idiot fans have come to love is DEAD! Once a bone is broken, it is never as strong as before.  If MVS goes out there flying through the air, chances are he’s gonna end up with another broken leg.  And without his fancy flips and kicks, he will finally be exposed as the green, unskilled, no talent he really is.  

 

Axis: But, MVS has been out of action for two months.  That’s plenty of time to rest up, and get back in fighting shape.  It’s far more time than Williams has had.  Not only is Williams wrestling against doctors’ orders,  with a severally injured ankle.  He also took a undescribable beating from his former student TNT.

 

King: A great career move by TNT.  Its obvious TNT’s abilities  surpassed his mentor’s, and there was nothing left for him to learn.

 

Edwin: So he had to take a ball bat to him? .  

 

King: Sure, he had to prove to himself and the world, that he was the better man.

 

Edwin: How the bloody hell does assaulting a man with a ball bat prove you’re the better man?  If he wanted to prove he was better, he should have assaulted him with a ball bat, in a sanctioned hardcore match.

 

Axis: With all those mounting injuries, I haven no idea how Williams is standing.  Let alone competing in a match with a former European Champ like Mike Van Silcen.

 

King: That is why the good Lord created pain killers.

 

Edwin: Or in Danny’s case, crack cocaine.

 

Funyon: The following match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first weighing in at 238 lbs, he hails from Louisville, Kentucky.  “Deathwish” Danny Williamsssssss!

 

The heavy grinding grooves of Dillinger Escape Plans "Calculating Infinity" blasts over the loud speakers. The titantron simply says Deathwish in white letters and follows that with highlights of Dannys Indie and New Japan Matches. Danny comes out on to the platform. He is sporting a bandage on his forehead, and an ankle brace.  He simply looks around, and nods his head to a respectful applause from the crowd. He slowly hobbles to the ring with a focused, no nonsense look on his face. He carefully gets in the ring and just warms up.

 

Edwin: Williams looks like he fell off the ugly tree, and got hit every branch on the way down.

 

King: It’s more like he got beat with the ugly stick.  The ugly stick being TNT’s metal ball bat.  

 

"Light me up……"

 

The pumping beats of "Light Me Up" by Cassanova 419 begin to echo throughout the arena as the lights go down! The crowd roars in expectation of the SJL superstar about to walk down the ramp……

 

"Come on, come on, come on, LIGHT THAT FUCKER UP!"

 

BOOM!

 

A shower of white pyro goes off atop the entrance ramp as it illuminates a figure atop the entrance ramp, arms outstretched in a "come-and-get-me" gesture. A blue spotlight shines upon him as he struts down the ramp, blonde hair glistening as he slides into the ring.

 

"(Funyon) Ladies and gentlemen, now entering the ring, hailing from Harrison, Illinois, weighing in at two-hundred thirty-seven pounds, Making his return to the SJL, the Amazin' one, MIIIIIIKKE VA-AN SIIIIIIIIIIIC-LEEEEEEEN!"

 

The crowd explodes in cheers as MVS poses on a turnbuckle, then hopping backwards, prepping for his match.

 

Axis: There he is the Amazin’ one MVS.  He looks to be in terrific shape for this match.  The leg doesn’t seem to be bothering him at all.

 

Edwin: Now that’s an entrance! Williams’ entrance almost put me to sleep, but I’m wide awake now.

 

King: Funyon, is clear to blame for this.  Why the hell was he so monotone, when introducing Williams.

 

Edwin: A boring wrestler, deserves a boring introduction.

 

Axis: Well, entrances don’t win matches.  Williams style may be low key, but when he is 100% he is damn near unbeatable.  However he is no where near 100% tonight.  

 

Edwin: If Williams was 110% he would have his work cut out for him against MVS.  Not only is MVS  riding on the momentum of his return, he is also bigger, faster, and stronger than Williams.

 

King: MVS was bigger, stronger, and faster than Mafia too. But Mafia still was able to beat him, with pure brain power. Williams is just as smart if not smarter than Mafia.  Plus Williams knows how to win hurt.  Something MVS has struggled too, especially in his final matches with Tom Flesh....I mean Durandal.  

 

DING! DING! DING!  Williams and Mike step out of their corners, and meet in the center of the ring.  The two cautiously circle each other.  Mike is full of energy, and bounces around like a boxer.   Williams slowly hobbles around, dragging his ankle behind him.  The crowd bursts into a “Welcome Back” chant.  After feeling each other out, they lock up in a collar elbow tie up.  Williams breaks the grapple, and pops Mike with a hard elbow.  Mike fires back, with a snapping right cross.  Williams’ head violently snaps back from the blow.  Williams spits out a honker, and staggers backwards.  Sensing Williams is hurt, Mike steps in for the kill and draws back for a second punch. Out of desperation, Williams quickly blasts Mike’s left leg with a shin kick.  The thump from the strike, echoes through the arena. Mike flinches in pain, and stops dead in his tracks.  

 

Edwin: Did you hear that? Dear lord, that’s the hardest shin kick, I’ve ever seen!  

 

Axis: Right off the bat, Williams goes after Mike’s broken leg.  I can only pray it’s fully healed.  

 

King: Old wounds never heal.  

 

Mike’s  face wrinkles with rage, and without hesitation he kicks Williams right in his bad ankle.

 

Axis: Now its Mike going after Williams’ broken ankle!

 

Edwin: Do on to others, as they do on to you.

 

Williams screams in pain, but fires back with another shin kick. Mike shakes with rage and pain, and unleashes an even harder ankle kick.  Williams draws back his leg for another shin kick, but his bad ankle gives out.  Williams collapses to the mat in agony.  Mike stomps Williams’ ankle, and stands on it.  Williams almost passes out, as Mike twist his boot on his ankle.  With his free leg, Williams kicks Mike in his left leg.  Mike lets out a painful cry, and stumbles backwards.  As Mike rubs his stinging leg, Williams manages to stand up.  Before Williams can do anything, Mike floors him again with a dropkick to the ankle. Mike jumps high into the air, and drops an elbow across William’s chest. Mike pulls Williams up, and executes a perfect Blockbuster Suplex!  Mike covers Williams for the pin.

 

One....

Two.....

 

Williams kicks out and rolls out of the ring!  Mike lets him go, and takes position on the opposite side of the ring.  Mike does some leg stretches and patiently waits for Williams to stands up. Williams slowly stands up, carefully not putting weight on his ankle.  Mike bounces off the ropes, and darts across the ring.  Mike jumps on to the ropes and hits Williams with the Springboard Dropkick!  The impact knocks Williams into the guardrail.

 

Axis: The Springboard Dropkick!  Mike is really testing his leg, right off the bat.

 

Edwin: Mike can still fly like.....like Mike.  Like Mike, I want to be like Mike. (starts singing)

 

King: Stop that! The only connection between MVS and MJ is that Michael Jordan is a washed up has been, and Mike Van Silcen is a washed up never was.

 

Mike lifts the dizzy Williams up, for a shin breaker.  Instead, Mike drops Williams ankle onto the guardrail!  Mike rolls into the ring, and takes a breather.  Williams rolls around on the floor, grinding his teeth in pain.  Kivell counts “Five......Six.....Seven.....Eight.....Nine.....Ten!.....Eleven....”  Williams crawls to the apron, and pulls himself up. Williams rolls into the ring, and Mike marches over to greet him.  Mike grabs Williams head, and pulls him up to his knees.  Williams knocks Mike’s arms off and pops him with an elbow!  Mike shakes it off, and kicks Williams’ forehead.   Williams falls to his hands and knees.  Mike draws his foot back and fires a vicious soccar kick.  Mike’s boot connects to Williams’ forehead again, and knocks him on his back.  Blood soaks through Williams bandage, causing it to fall off.  

 

Axis: Less than three days, ago Williams was busted open at the hands of TNT. Mike’s kicks must have reopened the wound.  

 

Edwin: It wasn’t TNT’s hands, it was a metal bat.    

 

Mike pulls Williams up with a front face lock.  Mike lifts Williams up, and falls back with the Impact DDT!  Williams’ head leads a blood imprint on the mat.  Mike rolls him over and hooks his leg for the pin.

 

 

One....

Two.....

Thre

 

Williams raises his shoulder!  Mike pounds the mat in frustration and insists it was a three. Mike mounts Williams, and starts pounding his forehead with right hands. Blood droplets splatter across the mat, as Mike draws back his fist for each punch.  Williams finally goes limp, and Mike stands up. Mike looks down and realizes he’s splattered with Williams’ blood.

 

Axis: I really don’t think it comes as a surprise, that MVS is having his way with Williams tonight.  Williams should be in a hospital bed, not in a wrestling ring.

 

Edwin: What a beating, I knew Williams was tough, but I didn’t know he could take this much punishment.

 

King: Drugs......That’s the only explanation.  Williams has got to be hyped up on something.

 

Mike steps on to the apron, and climbs to the top turnbuckle.  Mike balances himself on the tope rope, and raises his arms in the air.  Cameras flash as Mike leaps off the ropes, and executes the Bullfrog Splash!  Mike lands right on top of William’s ankle.  Williams sets up screaming at the top of his lungs.  Williams crawls to the ropes, and pulls himself up.  Mike stalks him with a confident grin.  Mike cruelly gives Williams a hard kick to the ankle.  Williams drops to his knees, but pulls himself up with the ropes.  

 

Axis: Like a shark smelling blood, Mike continues to work over Williams’ bad ankle.    

 

Edwin: If Williams ankle wasn’t broken before the match, I’d say there’s a good chance it’s broken now.  

 

Mike snickers and kicks his ankle again.  William almost goes down, but he keeps his grip on the ropes.  Williams lets out a ferocious battle cry, and with the assist of the ropes, fights back with a flurry of shin kicks to Mike’s left leg.  Mike tolerates six kicks to his bad leg, before dropping to the mat.  Williams hobbles off the ropes,  like his left foot has been cut off.  Williams grabs Mike’s left leg and drags him to the center of the ring.  Williams gives Mike a ring shaking knee stomp, before locking on the Single Leg Crab!

 

Axis: Now its Williams who has gained the upper hand, by attacking Mike’s bad leg.  

 

King: It’s payback time! Break his leg Williams! Just like he tried to break you ankle.

 

Mike screams in pain, and starts crawling to the ropes. The crowd encourages him with a “MVS” chant.  Mike makes it within inches of the ropes, before Williams drags him back and replies the submission hold.  Veins bulge from Williams neck, as he uses all his power to force the tap out.  With his free leg, the flexible Mike kicks Williams right in the forehead.  Williams releases the hold, and staggers away. Williams wipes his forehead, and for the first time realizes he’s bleeding profusely.  Mike climbs to his feet, fighting the throbbing pain in his leg.  An enraged Mike sets his sights on Williams, and snorts like a bull at him.  Williams wipes some blood out of his eyes, and waves him to “Come On”.  The crowd gives a standing ovation.  

 

Axis: It’s either man’s match now! Williams may have lost his ankle, but he managed to even the score by taking out Mike’s leg.  

 

Edwin: It’s Crunch time! Can Mike overcome his old injury, and beat Williams at his own game?

 

King: No!  Mike has far more ability than the battered Williams. But Williams has managed to turn this into a battle of wills. This is going to come down to who wants it more.  And with the exception of me, nobody wants to win more than Danny Williams.  

 

Both men limp towards each other with their arms raises like boxers.  Williams strikes first, with a thumping shin kick!  Mike shrugs off the pain, and responds with a brutal ankle kick!  Williams’ ankle gives out, and he’s forced to drop to one knee.  After throwing the kick, the pain in his leg forces Mike to also drop to one knee.  Grinding their teeth in pain, both men stagger back to their feet.  This time Mike strikes first with a swift ankle kick!  Again both go men down, but somehow find the strength to climb back to their feet.  This time Williams goes up stairs with a cracking elbow strike.  Mike shakes off the blow, and lets loose a big right hook.  Williams ducks, and catches Mike with a Backdrop Driver!  

 

Edwin: Backdropdrivahhhhhhh!!!

 

Axis: That has to be one of the most deadliest moves in the SJL,  and the scariest part is that it can come out of nowhere.    

 

King: If crack hasn’t completely destroyed Williams decision making abilities.  He’ll go for the pin, right now.  

 

Mike’s head sickly bounces off the mat, knocking him out cold.  Williams rolls Mike’s lifeless carcass on his back, and crawls on him for the pin.

 

One....

Two.....

Three!

 

No!  Kivell waves the count off and points to Mike’s foot on the rope.  Williams sighs and hooks the leg for a second pin attempt.

 

One....

Two.....

Thre

 

Mike raises his shoulder up, and rolls out of the ring!  Williams stands up, and hobbles to the other side of the ring. Williams waits with his hands on his knees, for Mike to stand up.  After what seems like an eternity, Mike starts to show signs of life.  Williams bounces off the ropes, and charges across the ring.  Williams stops mid way, holding his ankle.  

 

Axis: The pain in William’s ankle is just to excruciating, for him to execute his trademark Elbow Suicida.  The same happened to Mike in his match against Durandal.  

 

Edwin: And we all know what happened to Mike in that match.  But perhaps tonight, the shoe is on the other foot!  The tables have been turned!  This time it’s Williams, who may suffer the career threatening break to his leg.  

 

King: You mean ankle, you dumbass.

 

Williams hobbles the rest of the way, and simply rolls to the outside.  Williams grabs the weary Mike by his hair, and unleashes the Elbow Combo of Doom!  Mike doesn’t go down, but he’s out on his feet.  He remains standing, slumped over, with his arms hanging lifelessly to his sides.  Williams spins around for the Rolling Elbow, but Mike collapses before he can hit it. Williams nods his head and pulls up his tights, as if to say “Thats Right!”.   Williams bends over to pull Mike up, but he’s to limp.  Williams pulls and pulls on Mike’s hair, but his body won’t move.

 

Edwin: MVS is as limp as King’s co....

 

Axis: Edwin!  This isn’t Crimson.  We are on regular T.V. tonight, please watch your language.

 

King: In that case, you can suck my cock.....adoodledo Edwin.  

 

Williams does the “the hell with it” motion with his arms, and rolls back into the ring.  Kivell continues the count out. “Ten......Eleven......Twelve......Thirteen.......Fourteen.........Fifteen.”  Mikes starts to move, and Williams begs Kivell to the speed up the count.  Mike finally comes to and slowly climbs on to the apron, forcing Kivell to stop the count.  Williams rolls his eyes, and buries his blood soaked face in his hands.  Mike blindly crawls through the second and bottom rope, and falls into the ring.  Williams grabs his bad leg, and drags Mike’s corpse to the center of the ring.  Williams signals its over, and pulls Mike into a standing head scissors. Mike drops to his knees, but Williams pulls him up by his tights.  Williams takes several deep breaths, and prepares to lift Williams for what looks like a powerbomb!

 

King: Williams going for a powerbomb?  Did Mike kick Williams so hard in the head, that he actually thinks he’s Sid Vicious now or something?

 

Axis: I don’t believe it! Williams is gonna try to put MVS away, with a Deathbomb!  An absolutely brutal variation of the Thunderfire Powerbomb.. I haven’t seen Williams use this move since his junior days in Japan.  My god, if he hits this its all over with.

 

Williams can barely lift Mike past his waist, before he’s forced to abort the lift.  Williams keeps hold of Mike’s waist, and gathers himself for a second lift.  Fresh streams of blood gush from William’s forehead, as he tires to suck up all the oxygen in the arena.  Williams tightens his grip on Mike’s waist, and bends his knees so low, they almost touch the mat.  Williams lets out a loud straining scream, like an Olympic weightlifter.  Williams hoists Mike up for the Deathbomb, but his ankle collapses.  Mike plants his feet back to the mat, and their back where they started.  Suddenly, Mike lets out a loud scream, and hoists Williams in the air for the Van Slaminator! The crowd goes nuts.   Mike lets out a hellish scream, and drops Williams with a normal Back Body Drop. Mike grabs his bad leg, and collapses to the mat.  The crowd lets out a collective gasp.

 

Edwin: Oh No! Not again! I hope to god, he did not re-fracture that leg.

 

Axis: Both men’s legs have been busted up so badly, that neither can  hit their signature moves.  They are going to have to find some other way to win.

 

King: I tell you how they can find a way to win.  Take a metal ball bat, and bust the other one’s knee caps.  Where is TNT, where you need him?

 

An exhausted Williams slowly climbs to his feet, dripping blood and sweat all over the mat.  Williams hops on one foot over to Mike, and grabs hold of his bad leg.  Williams turns Mike over, and locks on the Single Leg Walls of Jericho!  Williams tries to stand one foot on Mike’s neck, but the pain is to great on his ankle.  Williams pulls back on Mike’s leg as hard as he can, and screams at Mike “Tap! Tap! Tap!”. Mike bites his tongue, and refuses to quit.  Blood is now pouring from Williams’ chin, and running down his chest.  Mike closes his eyes, and quits moving.  Kivell gives Mike the arm test.  Kivell raises his Mike’s arm, but it falls back to the mat.  Kivell repeats, with the same result.  Williams anxiously peeks behind his shoulder, to see if Mike’s arm will fall a third and final time.  Kivell carefully raises Mike’s arm, and lets go.  Mike arm falls, but it doesn’t touch the mat.  Mike comes back to life, and shakes his head at Kivell.  The dead crowd comes back to life, with a huge pop.

 

King: Look he’s shaking his head “No”.  He doesn’t want to continue, call for the Kivell bell.  

 

Edwin: King, you bloody idiot.  He’s shaking his head “No”, as in he doesn’t want to quit.

 

Axis: Mike has came to far, and overcame so much, just to quit in his first match back.

 

A frustrated Williams releases the hold, and slams Mike’s leg to the mat.  A pissed Williams spits and shouts profanities!  Williams grabs Mike’s leg and starts smashing it with elbow drops.  Mike screams, as each elbow connects with his fragile leg.  The crowd starts to count along “Five!....Six!....Seven!.......Eight!......Nine!......Ten!.......Eleven!.......Twelve!...........Thirteen!.

 

King: Pay attention jobbers, that is how you work a leg!

 

Axis: Williams just keeps going, he’s not gonna stop until he breaks Mike’s leg in half.

 

Edwin: Two months of rehabilitation down the drain, in just one match.  Kivell should stop this, before Mike suffers another career threatening injury.    

 

Williams pauses to catch his breath, and drops two more elbows.  Mike appears to be passed out.  Williams than grapevines Mike’s leg, and locks on the Superior Stretch!  A portion of the crowd “boos” and some actually applaud.

 

King: What the hell? He stole Durandal’s move.

 

Axis: The Superior Stretch! My god!  This the very move, that may have broke Mike’s leg two months ago.

 

Edwin: I knew Williams would do anything to win tonight, but I didn’t think we would go this far!

 

Mike claws the mat and flaps his arms around, but he is far from ropes reach.  Mike buries his head in his arms, and frantically  taps out!

 

DING! DING! DING!  Williams releases the hold, and stumbles to his feet.  Kivell raises his arm, and the crowd gives a small applause.  

 

Funyon: The winner of the match, “DEATHWISH” DANNY WILLLIAMSsssssssssssssssss!!!

 

King: Ha! Williams spoils MVS’s homecoming party with the colossal upset. Not quite on the level of my World Title victory, but still impressive.  

 

Edwin: This is impossible, how did Williams win this in the condition he is in?

 

Axis: Williams’ body may have been broken.  But his most important weapon is still working, his brain! Williams knew MVS was coming back from a broken leg, and that he would surely tap out, before risking another injury. Especially to the very move that injured him in the first place.

 

Edwin: Sure, but Williams has a bad wheel too.  This is a far more recent injury, and should have giving MVS a clear cut advantage.

 

Axis: Maybe so, but Williams knows how to win hurt.  He’s been doing that his whole career.  However MVS has always struggled to win hurt.  Think back to his matches with Durandel, where he lost every time because he couldn’t mount an offense with a bad leg.

 

King: Williams is smarter than MVS, that’s for damn sure.  But Williams may have also have had some help from some Columbian gold.

 

Edwin: That’s absurd, we both know Williams has been clean for well over a year.

 

King: Says who? Those tests can be tricked Edwin. Hell, half are roster is on steroids, yet they all seem to pass the.........

 

Axis: O.K, O.K. fans we have to take a commercial break.  Stay tuned, there is plenty more of action to come

[Guest Edwin MacPhisto]

“(Edwin) The purpose of the ninja is the flip out and kill people...And THAT, my friends, is why ninjas are cool...by cool, I mean sweet."

 

"(King) Dumbass."

 

"(Axis) Er, yeah. Anyhoo, welcome back to Metal. From what we understand, Mafia has just made an impromptu entrance here, as he wasn't even booked for tonight. We have a match to be getting to about now...but..."

 

***Axis is interrupted, as the grunge sounds of "Snap Your Fingers, Snap Your Neck" by Prong are heard throughout the arena as multi colored strobe lights invade the arena. ***

 

“(Funyon) Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome at this time, from New York City..MMAAFIAAA!"

 

*** Clad in a black SJL/New Sound Mafia tee shirt, loose leather pants and leather trenchcoat, Mafia is discovered by multiple spotlights at the top of the ramp, shining through the dim lighting present in the arena. However, as quickly as the spotlights catch him, he's off again, as he shuffles down the ramp to a slow pace, with a look of discontent on his face. The boos from the crowd roll of his back like drops of water, as he seemingly ignores the heat from the crowd. Bottom of the ramp now, and he still seems as if he's in a world of his own, as he walks up the ring steps, throwing a glance towards the crowd before climbing into the ring. He approaches Funyon, who hands the mic to him, before climbing out of the ring himself. Mafia raises the mic to his lips, before realizing that it's not even on. Mafia shakes off the confusion, as he fiddles with the underside and turns it on. The fans are bewildered at the demeanor of Mafia, as they intently listen in.***

 

"(Axis) I was about to say, that he was about to come out here to the ring. But that much is obvious right now. Let's listen in."

 

“(Mafia) I came into this federation to much fanfare. I was a prodigy, a wonder. While travelling Japan, Mexico, and the American indys, I was heralded as the next big sensation, I was heralded as a future Champion in one of the big leagues, at the very least. As anyone who's followed my career knows, I was ultimately injured, my neck nearly snapped, my body broken, by a careless worker down in Mexico. I fought back, and I rehabbed...and that's when I came to the IGN---"

 

"BOOOO!"

 

“(Mafia) …SJL. I came into this company and got a few quick wins under my belt, ultimately making myself known to a new base of fans. Since then, it's been nothing but bullshit. All I've heard, is that Mafia couldn't win the big matches. He'll never be anyone. He can't win a title--I could blame the booker man backstage, but I have no one to blame but myself."

 

“(Axis) He's ranting here, he doesn't even know what he's saying....I don't like where this is headed. He definitely looks and sounds discontent..."

 

"(Edwin) Discontent...like the look on your face looks when a NINJA is about to strike down upon you. That's REAL Ultimate Power.

 

"(King) You've been rambling on about ninjas all damn day...Concentrate on your work, damn you."

 

“(Mafia) Why couldn't I have been a champion...ever. Even an injured, roughly 70% lame duck of a wrestler, Tod deKindes eliminated me on last weeks Metal --"

 

“(King) I definitely don't like where this is headed."

 

***Mafia's voice begins to slightly crack, as he pauses during his diatribe, in an effort to recollect himself. He turns to a turnbuckle away from the camera and runs a hand through his hair.

 

"(Mafia) But since last week...something else inside me broke. Not an injury, not a bone, not a ligament. But I can't do this shit anymore...my heart broke last week...it was the final straw."

 

"(Axis) What's he getting at..."

 

"(Mafia) Sometimes in life, once we look in the mirror, and what reflects to us is pain and despair, a feeling that nothing is there...We look for something new, and we realize that something must change. An attitude, an outlook, a way of life. That being said.."

 

***Mafia's voice cracks once again, as he takes a moment to look over to the annouce table at Axis, Suicide King, and Eddie MacPhisto; then looks out to the crowd. He brings up to the mic to his mouth again, recollected in his thoughts.***

 

"(Mafia) Fuck this Mafia show, this act I put on....just so I can appeal to the fan and be something I'm not, to sell a few t-shirts, or attempt to pop a rating for the big company. Fuck the New Sound. Fuck this federation. Eddie MacPhisto..."

 

***With the mention of his name, Edwin MacPhisto's head pops up, as he turns away from the monitor, and looks towards Mafia in the ring.***

 

"(Mafia) I'm asking for my release....I QUIT!"

 

"(Axis) He quits!? I never expected this..."

 

"(King) Well, within the last few weeks, it's been building up, or so I've heard....He's been discontent with anything and everything lately."

 

***The fans pop and give off a mixed reaction at the announcement, some happy that another bad guy, Mafia, is out of their hair. Another part, standing in shock, some even booing that Mafia had given up***

 

"(Edwin) He wants his release? He's got it. It'll make my job a lot easier."

 

***Mafia stands in the ring, glancing around at the surroundings for the last time, as he drops the mic to the mat. The reverb from the microphone rings in the arena for a moment, as he hops out of the ring and continues up the ramp. His music doesn't even hit like it normally would, as he walks through the entrance curtain, presumably straight out of the arena.***

 

"(Axis) I...I don't know what to say. Many names have come and gone here in the JL, but Mafia was the one that was expected more of. We'll be back in a moment...with more SJL Metal."

[Guest Edwin MacPhisto]

***The camera is slowly descending, showing the rabid Huntsville crowd as the ring technicians are placing C4 explosive boards all over ringside. Meanwhile, our Trio Of Terror talk over the proceedings, feeling the excitement rising up.***

 

Axis: There you see the explosive boards being set up in preparation of our upcoming two out of three falls match, pitting Taylor Nicholas Thompson against the returning Tod deKindes.

 

Edwin: All these months of respect, mistrust and hatred will finally lead up to this match here tonight. Last Saturday night on Crimson, we saw the returning Tod deKindes come to the rescue of 'Deathwish' Danny Williams, as weird as that may sound, and prevented TNT from further injuring his now former mentor. This is where the challenge was made and it's been accepted, now these two will go at it in two out of three falls, with very interesting stipulations.

 

King: (swatting away a heckling ring technician) Would you get the hell away from me with that thing?! Move it, shoo!!

 

Axis: We haven't heard from either man since Crimson, so it'll be interesting to see if they're in shape for this match, especially considering Tod's case.

 

Edwin: Well, we saw Tod move around pretty well on Crimson, so I would assume that he's recuperated quite nicely.

 

King: Beat it!! (shoving the ring technician who was trying to leave a C4 board on the announce table)

 

Axis: As we await with baited breath, let's throw it over to our ring announcer!

 

***Cut to the ring. Funyon, clad in his low budget but still good looking just for men three piece suit, gives a quick nod of the head to the just arriving Mark Hebner and raises the microphone to his lips.***

 

Funyon: Ladies and gentlemen…it is now time for the first half of our Double Main Event!!…(pauses for cheers)…The following contest is a Two Out Of Three Falls Match, each with a different set of rules. The first fall will be an Exploding Board Match, in which a wrestler must somehow throw his opponent onto a C4 explosive board and set it off, to win the fall. The second fall will be contested in a German Strap Match, in which both wrestlers will be connected by a 10 foot long leather strap and will be free to use it at their own free will. The winner of the fall will be the one wrestler who successfully manages to touch all four corners in succession, without interruption…The third and final fall, should the occasion arise, will be contested in an anything goes, No Disqualification match, in which a winner will be determined either by pinfall or submission!!

 

***He pauses, catching his breath. He raises the mic to his lips once again.***

 

Funyon: Without further ado, here are the participants…

 

***The hard rock tune of AC / DC's "TNT" fires up on the speakers, as a new Smarktron video of TNT's path of destruction is shown up on the screen.***

 

Funyon: First; from Anaheim, California, he weighs in at 267 lbs…Currently the SJL World Television champion; he is the TNT, Taylor - Nicholaaaaaaaas - Thompsooooon!!

 

***TNT eerily emerges from the jet-black curtains that line the entranceway. Water bottle in hand, he lifts the container over his head and pours the cold, refreshing contents onto his head, where it damps Taylor’s long, streaming dreadlocks. With one forceful movement, Taylor hurls the hunk of plastic into the air as a group of rabid rednecks fight over it.***

 

Edwin: Notice how TNT is all business as he enters the ring, he's usually jumping around everywhere, but now he's simply walking to the ring with a very determined look on his face. He's gotta conserve that energy because he's in for one HELL of a match.

 

Axis: Good point you're making, Edwin. You gotta believe that both men will try not to expend too much effort in the early going…King, anything to add?

 

King: I don't care, I just wanna see someone blow up!!

 

***TNT throws malicious glares at the crowd and tries to intimidate both the announcer and the referee. Once that's done, he looks around the ringside area, staring at each and every C4 board scattered all over the arena. He stretches on the ropes and crouches down in a corner, awaiting his opponent while the dulcet tones of the late great Bon Scott fade away into silence…***

 

Funyon: And his opponent…

 

***…Making way for the dulcet tones of Corey Taylor's grunting voice, as Slipknot's "I Am Hated" violates its way into every spectators' ear drums. The usual smoke in the entrance way and the rave like stroboscopic lighting effects invade the arena. Tod deKindes, still clad in his traditional trench coat and silver shades, walks out to a more determined pace, almost in synch with his theme's violent beat. He stops halfway down the ramp in order to throw some random looks at the crowd, and then proceeds to slide under the bottom rope of the ring. He throws a quick look at TNT, and then hops up to the second turnbuckle, releasing a mighty German war cry to the crowd. He hops back down, removing any unnecessary gear in the process. He warms up in the ropes, as the lighting returns to normal and the music slowly fades out. Both men methodically meander to the center of the ring, where their eyes meet, and the two adversaries immediately begin trash talking one another.***

 

Axis: Lots of hatred between these two men, but it's all come up to this, now. Mark Hebner is giving out a few final instructions before we start things off, here.

 

Edwin: I think he's telling these guys not to do anything stupid tonight. God knows last thing we need is a serious injury.

 

King: Speak for yourself, I thrive very much on seeing other people injured!!

 

Axis: Nevertheless, these two men seem quite ready, here we go!

 

***A succession of three chimes from the ring bell unleashes the proverbial savages from their cages, as the two immediately lunge at one another, exchanging several stiff right hands! With neither man gaining an advantage, Taylor alternates the pace by delivering a quick left jab to the rib cage of deKindes! Tod grunts in anguish and staggers backwards a bit, but Taylor finishes the job as he sends his foe out of the ring with a swift forearm to the jaw! As Tod flips over the ring ropes and stumbles into the guardrail, Taylor lifts one clinched fist into the air to signify a metaphorical victory, which causes a very negative reaction from the amped crowd.***

 

Axis: Thompson uses his superior strength to his advantage as he puts Tod out of the ring quickly in this bout!

 

King: Come on! Blow up!

 

***Tod collects himself, shaking his head to clarify his mind. He positions himself in an erect manner, and prepares to reenter the ring, as Taylor sees this and…***

 

Edwin: TNT reverberating off of the ring ropes now, and there’s only…(counts on his fingers)…257 ways for him to go from here, but one of them is up and over!

 

***On Edwin’s cue, Taylor lumbers across the ring towards Tod, reaches the ropes and pounces over the ring ropes, body outstretched, right at Tod! deKindes observes TNT’s actions, and just as Taylor makes the dive, he grabs a nearby C4 board and elevates it into the path of the 747 that is TNT, using it as a shield. Taylor notices this mutiny immediately, and with one last effort grasps onto the top rope, coming up short and falling limply to the apron with a glint of relief in his eyes. Tod witnesses Taylor’s mannerisms and lets out a German curse word of disappointment, but quickly capitalizes on TNT’s vulnerable state and swings the C4 board directly at his gut! Taylor promptly slithers under the ropes back into the ring, as Tod’s board hits the ring cable and rebounds backwards, narrowly missing his face.***

 

Axis: A close call for both competitors as both seem to be very aware of the painful consequences that would result from a shot from one of those explosive boards!

 

King: This former SWF champ right here would have already won two falls by now. I, as the sole commentator who has held such a prestigious title, remain the only grappler here to realize just how easy…

 

Edwin (lifting his SWF title out from under the announcer’s booth): Ahem. I’M the CURRENT champion, King.

 

King (shifting his eyes rapidly from Axis to Edwin): WHAT!? Why didn’t anyone tell me about this!? I need to know these things! What the hell am I supposed to brag about now?

 

Edwin: Ha Ha Ha Ha! Don’t fuck a rooster when you can get a mountain goat for free. That’s what I always say.

 

King: …Wait, what?

 

Edwin: …

 

Axis: Um, we’ll discuss this later, Ed.

 

***Tod, in the ring now, slowly approaches the towering figure that is Taylor Nicholas Thompson, exchanging intimidating glances with the dynamite warrior. Both stare each other down for a few seconds, as the blinking contest is abruptly interrupted by TNT, who lunges his arm forward for a clothesline, but it's Tod who's quicker, and lurches behind his opponent and latches his arms around his thick waist.***

 

Edwin: Rear waist lock by Tod deKindes! Can the German get in a German suplex?

 

King: Pfft. Yeah right, and you’re SWF champion.

 

Edwin: I AM SWF champion King, accept it.

 

King: I will accept it when this man at the end of the table touches his first pair of breasts!!

 

Axis: …Who, me??

 

***Taylor bares an expression of strain on his face as he jerks his midsection back and forth, violently attempting to escape the hold. Tod cinches on the hold even harder however, as TNT realizes he is beat, shrugs, and thrusts his leg backwards and into Tod’s family jewels! Holding his testicular area, Tod lifelessly crumples to the mat. TNT again looks at the crowd for their reaction, as they persistently chant “Tod! Tod! Tod!” TNT disgustingly scowls at the audience, hones in on the recovering Tod, and clamps his arm around his head in a front face lock! Taylor forces Tod down to the mat with the simple hold, taunting the angered audience.***

 

Axis: TNT takes Tod down to the mat, and with a hold older than the Playboys in King's basement!

 

King: Playboys? Why yes, they do indeed have a great article on clubbing in L.A.

 

Edwin: Yeah, did you read the party jokes?

 

King: Shut up.

 

Edwin: There was this one about the priest and the hooker..--

 

Axis: Will you two shut up about Playboy already?!

 

King: (to Edwin) Looks like SOMEONE didn't get their monthly issue on time, hmm?

 

Edwin: Hee hee, yeah!

 

Axis: All right, back to the action!!

 

***Both men on their knees now, they relentlessly struggle to gain some momentum as Tod slowly but surely rises to a full standing position. Taylor, realizing that his advantage will soon be a thing of the past, releases Tod and quickly resituates himself at Tod’s legs, as he quickly takes him down with a drop toe hold, sits up, and grabs a hold of the german grappler's foot, twisting it awkwardly in a modified ankle lock!***

 

King: Ankle lock! Ankle lock! Hey, that rhymes with mangled cock! Hee hee!!

 

Axis: King, I will not hesitate to sneak one of these C4 boards into your toilet.

 

***Tod grunts in pain as he outstretches his hands, with his grab crosshairs set on the nearby ring ropes. Mark Hebner repeatedly questions Tod on his status, though a submission would mean nothing anyway. Taylor seemingly realizes this theory, and reluctantly realizes this; in the same train of thought, TNT realizes how he CAN win, and nonchalantly exits the ring in search of an explosive board.***

 

King: Here’s one Mr. TNT! Anything to help you in your match!

 

***Taylor spots the King of Hearts scalping the board, and takes the opportunity, grabbing the board, and returning to the interior of the ring presumably to inflict more punishment on deKindes. Taylor trots up the ring steps with explosive board in hand, but just as he steps through the ropes Tod meets him with a low dropkick to Taylor’s shin, causing him to fall to the mat in torment, favoring his pained leg. The explosive board, which has been dropped to the mat, is diligently lifted by deKindes, as he strategically props it in a nearby corner. Just as TNT collects himself, still holding his shin area, he is quickly put back down to the mat as Tod reverberates off of the ring ropes, and charges back to Taylor, where he spears him right in the knee! Taylor’s knee gives out as he immediately collapses to the mat, grasping at his persistently aching leg. Tod, now a fuming volcano of fury, shows no mercy to his hated foe, as he summarily leaps into the air and lands knee-first on Taylor’s leg! Thompson yells in pain, as even the audience winces with sympathy.***

 

Axis: Tod seems to be out for blood tonight, attempting to telegraph the same fate for TNT that was bestowed on Danny Williams. A bad leg could give Tod the advantage he needs to win this fall, and the next fall too, for that matter.

 

***An Irish-whip exchange proceeds, as Taylor stumbles to the ropes in a limp like manner, ducks an oncoming clothesline and comes back with a brutal knee lift! Tod grimaces in pain, as he holds his wounded jawbone, but the contact of Taylor’s knee to Tod’s chin proves to be a painful experience for TNT also, as he falters backwards to the ropes, once again favoring his hurt leg.***

 

King: How much longer can TNT go on, taking all this punishment to his poor leg? Taylor is showing that he’s a trooper in this match, a real trooper.

 

Edwin: A TROOPER WHO LOVES TO READ PLAYBOY!!

 

Axis: Ed, don’t make me go medieval on your ass.

 

***As Tod regains a conscious state of mind, Taylor collects himself on the ropes, shaking away the pain that remains within his injured leg. Both men travel to the center of the ring, staring each other down once more, as suddenly, TNT grasps Tod by the arm and hurls him to the ring corner with the explosive board on it! Tod involuntarily lunges across the ring, but spots his infernal destiny, and comes to a screeching halt just as he reaches the board.***

 

Edwin: As you can see Tod is playing it smart, and knows very well that the slightest pressure on one of those boards will make a fine German barbecue.

 

King: Whoever wins this first fall will gain an inevitable advantage, and probably gain the big “W” when push comes to shove at the end of the match.

 

Axis: That’s a pretty daring prediction King.

 

King: Well, you heard it here first; whoever wins this fall will go on to win the match…unless it’s Tod.

 

***Taylor, noticing deKindes’ strategically intellectual halt, capitalizes as he soars at Tod with his right arm outstretched for a clothesline right into the corner! deKindes spots the freight train that is TNT, and quickly falls to his side, catching Taylor with a drop toehold! TNT lurches forward, crashing down faster than Courtney Love's top at a concert with a few beers in her, as his neck violently snaps against the bottom rope. Tod rolls away from the explosive one, as both competitor’s gradually regain their balance and lift themselves to a standing posture. Tod times his steps carefully, and comes back with a superkick, but TNT catches his foot in mid-transition! Tod struggles desperately to escape TNT’s grasp, hopping on his one remaining foot, as he finally compromises and delivers a viscous enziguri! TNT falls to his knees, as he desperately holds the side of his head, but soon stands back up, and is met with a spear into the explosive board corner! As Tod desperately plunges his opponent into certain impending doom, Taylor comes to a screeching halt a mere foot away from the board! Tod continues charging, but goes nowhere as Taylor clamps his arms around Tod’s waist, lifts him into a form of the modified Canadian backbreaker, and sends the German grappler plummeting to the mat via Dominator! With a resounding smack, deKindes splatters across the mat, in a lifeless pile of muscle.***

 

Axis: Dominator! TNT just hit Tod deKindes with one of his most prominent signature maneuvers, the Dominator! Tod won’t be getting up any time soon.

 

***Taylor smiles broadly as he lifts both of his bulky arms into the air and extends his middle fingers, flipping off the indefatigably booing audience. Taylor’s hand signals abruptly change however, as he points upward with his pointer finger, signaling a scaling of the turnbuckle! On cue, Taylor begins heading towards the ring post, and within a few seconds, makes his ascent!***

 

King: TNT is going up top! But what does he have in store for Todski? Shell Shocked? Moonsault? Diving Headbutt? Super-duper-ultra-twisty-misty-moonsault?

 

Edwin: Are you kidding? He’ll never pull that horrific monstrosity off ever again, that was a one-time deal.

 

***Taylor takes one last step, as he stands at the pinnacle of his soon to be achievement, all while facing the audience and screaming obscenities at them. What he doesn't see is Tod slowly moving and seems to try to be getting to his feet. TNT soars off the turnbuckles with a moonsault…and hits nothing but mat! Meanwhile, Tod has found the way to his feet, grabbing a C4 board in the process. He places it dead center in the ring and drags the agonizing TNT to his feet. He hooks the front face lock, throws TNT's arm over his head. He spins around in a neckbreaker position, moves his arm in front of TNT's face and DRIVES him down with his modified neckbreaker, setting off the board!!***

 

*BOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!*

 

Axis: CEREBRAL DRIVER ON THE C4!!!!

 

***Mark Hebner awaits for the smoke to clear…and calls for the bell, raising Tod's hand.***

 

Funyon: The winner of the first fall: Tod - deKindes!!

 

***Both men are down and out, barely moving.***

 

King: That move took a LOT out of both Tod and Taylor, they can hardly move!

 

Axis: Right now, there'll be a thirty second rest period before we go into this bout's second fall.

 

***As the "German Strap Match" graphic swooshes by on the screen, Mark Hebner is seen retrieving the ten foot long leather strap from under the ring and attaching it to each wrestler's left wrists. They're both starting to move, obeying their fighter's instincts of getting up to their feet.***

 

Axis: The second fall is now under way, here we go!!

 

***Bell rings. TNT grabs a length of strap and tries to whip Tod with it, but the German grappler blocks it with both hands and buries his boot deep into his midsection. He grabs his own length of leather and proceeds to whip Thompson on the back repeated times.***

 

Edwin: He's whipping him like the dirty little bitch that he is!!!

 

King: Come on, this is too much gratuitous violence!! Make him stop, ref!!

 

Axis: Sure, but you willingly advocate a man being thrown on a C4 explosive board?

 

King: YES!! But this is different!!

 

***Thompson tries to escape his lashing and jumps out of the ring, forgetting that he can only get as far away as ten feet. Tod happily yanks him back in the ring, where he proceeds to stomp a mud hole into him, choke him with the strap and walk the aforementioned mudhole dry. He yanks him up to his feet and holds him as if going for a vertical suplex. Despite the strap being in the way, he manages to pull off a snap suplex, and hold onto the move…***

 

Axis: That's one!

 

***He muscles up Thompson, lifts him up in the suplex…and drops him face first, still holding on…***

 

Axis: That's two!

 

***He lifts him up one more time, still in the suplex starting position, grabs on the tights firmly and raises him up…only to drop him stomach first across the top rope.***

 

Axis: And that's step number three of the Sara Sequence by Tod deKindes!

 

***Tod walks over to the ring apron, grabs onto the top rope tightly with both hands and connects with a precision perfect springboard leg drop right across the back of TNT's head. He falls off the ropes and crumples to the mat. He yanks on the strap to get some loose with it, and walks over to a corner. He slaps the top turnbuckle hard, as the crowd counts along "One!!". Still yanking on the leather strap, he drags Thompson along the ropes and slaps the adjacent top turnbuckle. "Two!!" Thompson is trying to get to his feet, while Tod is dragging him towards the third corner. He reaches out his hand in order to slap that third corner pad as well, but he suddenly feels his head jerk backwards as Thompson has him by the hair. He locks Tod in an inverted face lock and plants him down with authority to the mat with a reverse DDT! He stomps his own mudhole onto Tod, but fails to walk it dry as he rather chooses to choke him with the strap. He raises Tod to his feet and hooks both of his arms, connecting with a thunderous double arm DDT…Still holding onto the arms, he lifts up Tod once again…***

 

Axis: It looks as if Taylor Thompson is going for his own trifecta of moves…

 

***TNT connects with a picture perfect butterfly suplex, still hooking Tod by the arms. He lifts him up one more time and then finally drops him with a good old fashioned Pearl River Plunge, or as he calls it, Dynamite! As Tod lays on the mat holding his side, TNT grabs the strap firmly with both hands and pulls himself towards a corner. His right hand comes in contact with the top turnbuckle, as the referee notes it.***

 

*One!*

 

***Thompson kicks Tod in the head for good measure and pulls himself towards the next corner to his left. Thompson does a little too much showboating however, allowing Tod to get up to his feet. TNT turns around, purely for the sake of turning around, and he eats a spear that sends him into the corner! Hebner waves off Thompson's win attempt, as it was interrupted by Tod. The German warrior hooks both of TNT's arms and sends him flying high above his head with a double underhook belly to belly suplex. He bounces off the ropes and drives a solid looking knee drop right onto Thompson's forehead. Tod instinctively leans over for a lateral press, but he quickly stops himself, remembering the stipulations. He drags up TNT by the dreadlocks and lifts him up on his shoulders in a fireman's carry position. He walks around and places himself in center ring and *drives* down TNT with a vicious Death Valley driver! He once again pulls on the strap in order to get some moving room, walks over to the apron and ascends up to the top rope.***

 

Axis: Tod deKindes, going up top, is he going to fly?

 

King: Wait, Taylor's moving!

 

***Still on the mat, Thompson grabs a handful of leather and YANKS on it, sending Tod crashing down on the canvas. He appears hurt.***

 

Axis: That was NOT a pretty landing there by Tod deKindes, guys.

 

Edwin: The German warrior may have just lost the momentum he needed to win this German strap match!

 

King: Can they still blow up?

 

Axis: Well, I don’t know of any rule that prohibits them from doing so…

 

King: Sweet!!!

 

***Taylor notices Tod’s shortcoming, as he slowly rises to his feet, his left leg still mildly aching. He slowly approaches Tod, who is positioning himself upright, and meets him with a few quick haymakers to the jaw. Tod stumbles a bit, as Taylor again comes at him with a brutal flying forearm. Tod grunts with a hint of agony in the tone of his voice, and falls to the mat, landing on his back. He’s quickly up to his feet however, ready for more. That “more” is gleefully shelled out by the TV champion however, as he comes reeling off of the ropes, and sends both himself and his opponent flipping over the top rope with a Cactus clothesline. Both men stumble backwards a bit, but are stopped short by their restricting strap, which is blatantly caught around the top ring rope! Both men gain a fair amount of whiplash, as their movement abruptly discontinues. Both seem to beckon for a mutual truce for a short instant, as they both struggle to untangle themselves. Once back in the ring, they turn their heads towards each other and go back at it.***

 

King: That damn strap is getting in the way of what could have been an explosion!

 

Edwin: King, that fall is over.

 

King: If only one board was gonna blow, then why do we have so many out here in the first place?

 

Axis: Well I’ve heard some of the boys are preparing a Matthew Kivell barbecue in the back…

 

King: I’m there!

 

***Both men exchange a many kicks, punches, head butts, and other thrusts of various body parts as Taylor eventually gains what seems to be an advantage in this brutal brawl! Tod staggers back from a quick knife-edge chop (accompanied by the usual sea of “Whoooooo!’s,) but flies back at TNT with a dropkick to the leg! Thompson topples over, but ceases to fall, as he grasps onto the guardrail for support. Tod prepares for yet another maneuver targeting Taylor’s injured, as he grabs a length of strap, tangles it between TNT's legs and sweeps him off his feet, followed up by a quick elbow drop to the sternum. He raises up to his feet, gives Taylor one more knee drop to the head for good measure and heads over to a corner, tugging on the strap along the way. One corner is touched.***

 

*One!*

 

***Tod plants a few boots on his explosive opponent before pulling on the strap, heading towards a second corner. After a bit of straining, the second turnbuckle pad is slapped like a dirty ungrateful little bitch.***

 

*Two!*

 

***Tod focuses his gaze on the third corner. Dragging Thompson along the way, he pulls with all his might. Under the encouraging cheers of the crowd, Tod reaches … and reaches … and touches a *third* corner!***

 

*Three!*

 

Edwin: One away!!

 

Axis: Tod deKindes is one corner away from taking this match in two straight falls!! This crowd is on their feet!

 

***The crowd volume rises with each step Tod is taking towards that last turnbuckle pad. He tries to lunge forward with his right arm, but it's hooked from behind! Same for the other! Taylor DRIVES Tod down with a scintillating Tiger suplex out of nowhere. Mark Hebner waves it all off, as the crowd boos.***

 

King: GREAT presence of mind by the TV champion! He led Tod under the impression that he was gonna have an easy victory, but OH NO SIR! BAM!! He comes up from behind and drives him down with a Tiger suplex. And now, WHAM!! Tod is gonna learn what it's like to go ka-BOOM!!

 

Edwin: Actually, TNT went ka-boom, remember? First fall?

 

King: …You are such a damn tool.

 

***TNT, staggering and now on his feet; watches Tod almost out on the mat. He helps him up to his feet by gently pulling him up by the arm. For some reason, he locks Tod's right hand with his own … and gives him a hand shake…***

 

Axis: Oh, you gotta be kidding me…

 

King: What a sportsman!! Shaking his opponent's hand during the match!!

 

***…and FLOORS him with a short clothesline! He nudges Tod with his boot, making sure that he is safely down on the mat and out. Taylor heads without hesitation to a corner, slapping its top turnbuckle.***

 

*One!*

 

***A quick check by TNT towards Tod sees him starting to move around, but Thompson doesn't let that bother him, as he walks over to the second turnbuckle with strap in hand. He pauses to flip off a fat boy in the front row and smacks the top turnbuckle pad with authority.***

 

*Two!*

 

***TNT is too busy strolling over to the third corner that he doesn't see the strap positionning itself (due to TNT's movement) slowly between his legs. Tod is getting to his knees, as Thompson makes contact with his third corner pad.***

 

*Three!*

 

***Thinking now that he's already got this in the bag, Taylor walks over to his fourth and final corner. What he doesn't realize is that Tod is now standing a few feet behind him, strap in both hands. He yanks upwards with all his might…***

 

Axis: OHHH!!!! Right between the legs!!

 

King: That's it, TNT ain't having no kids.

 

***…TNT doubles over and falls to his knees, clutching his explosive family jewels with both hands. Tod capitalizes quickly on this situation and hurries over to a corner, starting over.***

 

*One!*

 

…

 

*Two!*

 

…

 

*Three!*

 

…

 

***Just as Tod starts to move towards the fourth corner, he's met by a solid low blow from behind by TNT, in response to the strap assisted upper nut from before. Both men are on their knees, holding onto their unmentionnables.***

 

Axis: This has been a fast paced, high energy contest thus far! Tod deKindes has already taken the first fall, and now Taylor Nicholas Thompson absolutely needs to take this one if he wants to stay alive and have a chance at winning this match!

 

King: This is a crucial stage in this two out of three falls match!! It's all about who wants it MORE, who has the WILL to conquer; and in my mind, right now, it looks as if Taylor Nicholas Thompson has that fire in his eye. Ever since he went on his own, he's been an absolute monster, just about destroying EVERYBODY in this company! Not to mention, he's the Longest Reigning TV champ EVER!!

 

Axis: After these dual low blows that stopped both men short in their attempt to win, they're now getting back to their feet. Taylor Nicholas Thompson has already suffered the brunt of a C4 explosive board and Tod has suffered a lot of offense in this match as well. It's all a matter of who's gonna give in first…

 

***Both men up. Right hand exchange fails to produce a clear cut advantage for either men. Tod starts gaining the upper hand, nailing right hand after right hand to TNT's head. Irish whip by Tod, followed by a boot planted in TNT's gut. Tod bounces off the opposite ropes and connects with a swinging neckbreaker. He throws himself into another set of ropes and lands a fist drop right onto Taylor's head. Taylor staggers up to his feet and tries to seek refuge in a corner. Tod meets up with him, climbs up the second rope, prepping for his Ten Punch Count Along Auf Deutsch.***

 

Crowd: Eine! Zwei! Drei! Vier! Fünf! Sechs! Sie--…

 

***Tod is stopped at seven by a low blow from TNT, followed up with a massive powerbomb! Taylor climbs up slowly on the turnbuckles, making sure not to tangle the strap with the ropes. He dives off, and connects with a HUGE top rope elbowdrop on the prone Tod!***

 

Axis: There's the Shell Shock by TNT!! Tod could be DONE, here!!

 

King: After the Shell Shock, we all know what comes next!!

 

Axis: I must agree, King, it can only mean one thing!

 

***TNT confidently stares at the downed german warrior, grabs a handful of hair and lifts him up. Tod offers close to no resistance, his body in a near limp status. TNT shoves Tod's head between his legs***

 

Edwin: He's going for Dynamite!!

 

King: If TNT hits it, it is OVER!!

 

Axis: Keep in mind though, TNT will still have another fall to get through!

 

***TNT hooks both of Tod's arms, feeling mighty confident with himself. He goes to lift him up for Dynamite, but Tod's body suddenly goes stiff, as he wiggles his legs around, preventing himself from leaving the canvas!***

 

Axis: It's countered with a backdrop!!

 

***Tod throws his weight upwards, clearing his attacker off of him, landing him on the mat. Tod makes the best of the situation, grabbing Taylor's arm, sliding it between his legs, prepping him for the pumphandle slam position.***

 

Edwin: And now Tod's going for the Spirit Breaker!!

 

***Tod scoops up the TV champion on his shoulder, but now TNT's the one who refuses to taste his opponent's devastating finisher. He moves his legs and slips behind Tod, wrapping the leather strap around his neck in the process!***

 

Axis: And now TNT has recountered, and he's choking him in the process!!

 

***Tod grabs the strap and tries with all his might to relieve some of the pressure on his throat, but it's a battle he's losing quickly. TNT, holding the strap tightly, hurls Tod over the top rope! His feet are barely touching the outside mats ***

 

Edwin: And now he's hanging Tod!!

 

King: Good old fashionned lynching, I love it!!

 

***There's nothing Mark Hebner can do about this, as Taylor walks over to a corner.***

 

*One!*

 

***Meanwhile, Tod is still trying to free himself from his leathery chokehold but is having little success. Taylor casually strolls over to another corner while the crowd boos start to intensify.***

 

*Two!*

 

***Tod is starting to black out…***

 

*Three!*

 

King: One more and he's got it!!

 

***Taylor flips off the crowd some more, and finally…***

 

*Four!!*

 

***Bell rings. Mark Hebner is quick to undo the straps on both ends, and goes to check on Tod.***

 

Funyon: The winner of the second fall: Taylor - Nicholaaaas - Thompsooon!!

 

Axis: We're now at one fall apiece here. This is now the third and deciding fall, which is a No Disqualification match!

 

Edwin: Anything goes!!

 

King: Come on, ref! Get Tod in the ring so TNT can win this damn match!!

 

***Sure enough, Taylor follows that advice and yells at Mark Hebner to throw Tod back in the ring so he can win this damn match. As the "No Holds Barred" graphic swooshes onto the screen, TNT heads outside the ring to deliver more punishment to his adversary. He buries a few knees in Tod's gut and sends him crashing into the ring steps. He slowly walks over towards Tod and pulls him up by the hair. In an impressive show of strength, he lifts up Tod in a gorilla press slam and then DROPS him throat first onto the guardrail. Taylor lifts up the ring skirt, giving the front row a better look of what's actually under the ring. Everything he pulls out, he tosses into the ring. Chair, kendo stick, another chair, table, ladder, another kendo stick, trashcan with lid; and finally, his trusty aluminum baseball bat, only it looks a little different.***

 

Edwin: Don't tell me…

 

Axis: He wouldn't…

 

King: He would!! Taylor Nicholas Thompson has wrapped his ball bat with BARB WIRE! We're about to witness new heights of brutality from the TV champion! And that for Tod, is TOO DAMN BAD!!

 

***TNT rolls Tod into the ring, where he follows him, bat in hand. Seeing Tod down on the mat, he raises the bat up high with both hands, with a look of demonic hatred in his eyes. He brings the bat down at full speed…but Tod moves!!***

 

Axis: A half a second away from slicing Tod to shreds with that barbwire bat!!

 

***The bat seems stuck in the mat, as TNT tries to yank it out. Tod comes up from behind and locks on a rear waistlock. He tries to muscle up his larger opponent, but then he hammers a few stiff forearms in his upper back when he detects uncooperation. He finally completes his desired move and drives down TNT with a german suplex, bridged into a pin!***

 

*One!*

 

*Two!*

 

*Thre…--

 

Axis: No!!! So close!!

 

***Tod grabs the barbwire bat, yanks it away from the mat, tearing away a piece of canvas in the process. Tod swings the aluminum … and nails TNT right in the face!!***

 

Axis: Barbwire to another human being's face!! Thompson has to be busted wide open!!!

 

King: This is degenerating into a slaughter!!

 

***Blood starts flowing freely from TNT's forehead. Tod helps contributing to that gash by pressing the bat right against the wound, causing Thompson to scream loudly in anguish.***

 

Axis: And now Tod is MASHING that barbwire into Thompson's face!! He's tearing it to shreds!!

 

***Tod drops the bat and mounts the fallen TNT. He hammers him on the side of the head with his rapid fire right hands, quickly dousing Tod's right fist with his enemy's blood. He comes off a set of ropes, leaps high into the air and connects with a vicious knee drop on TNT's face. Cover.***

 

*One!*

 

*Two!*

 

*Thre…--

 

***TNT throws his shoulder up. Tod raises his bloody opponent to his feet, only to drive him back down with a jumping piledriver. Holding his side, Tod gingerly walks over to the corner and begins a slow climb of the turnbuckles. With TNT still lying still on the mat, Tod dives off with a swanton bomb, hoping to hit it this time … But he lands on something sharp.***

 

Axis: Taylor counters the swanton bomb by holding up his ball bat!! Tod deKindes has landed back first onto *barbwire*!!!

 

***Tod rolls around on the mat, contorting his body in pain. Small puncture wounds and trickles of blood start to appear on his back. TNT crawls over to him, grabs him in a modified chicken wing hold, and sends him flying overhead with a suplex into a pin!***

 

Axis: The chickenwing suplex!! A move he learned from his former mentor, Deathwish Danny Williams!!

 

*One!*

 

*Two!*

 

*Three…--

 

***Tod moves his pained body, removing his shoulder from the mat and staving off defeat for possibly a few more minutes.***

 

Axis: What drives these men to inflict that much pain on each other is beyond me! But you gotta think that it's taking a toll on their body as this third fall progresses!

 

***TNT collects himself to his feet, looks at Tod, and then at the crowd and gives them the universal "That is IT!!" gesture.***

 

Edwin: Taylor Thompson looks just about ready to finish off Tod deKindes!!

 

King: Atta boy, Thomp!! Finish his ass off for good!!

 

***He points to the turnbuckles, clamps both hands together and moves them back and forth up and down; the universal symbol for the tombstone piledriver.***

 

Axis: TNT looks to polish off Tod with that dreaded top rope tombstone piledriver!!

 

***As TNT drags him up to his feet, Tod somehow appropriates himself a trashcan lid. As Taylor stands on the second rope, sitting on the third, he scoops up Tod on his shoulder, but it's easier said than done. ***

 

Edwin: There's still some life in Tod deKindes!

 

***Somehow Tod's feet land on the top rope, providing him foot support as he frees himself from TNT's massive grip and plants the lid on his head with a resounding WHACK!! Another WHACK sends Taylor to La La Land for good, as Tod tosses the lid away. Both men grab onto each other to make sure nobody falls, but TNT manages to turn around and grab Tod in an attempt at a superplex. ***

 

Axis: Both men are on the second and top rope respectively, here!

 

***Tod once again frees himself with quick repeated headbutts to TNT's face. In an amazing display of strength, Tod manages to scoop up Thompson on his shoulder and jumps off from his perch…***

 

Axis: OH MY GOD!!! SPIRIT BREAKER FROM THE TOP ROPE!!! THIS *HAS* TO BE IT!!!

 

***But nobody's moving. Hebner fires up his mandatory 10 count for the first time in this match. Just as he barely reaches the count of nine, Tod rolls over, dropping a shoulder on Thompson.***

 

*One!*

 

.

 

.

 

.

*Two!*

 

.

 

.

 

.

*Three…-

 

King: NOOO!!!!

 

Edwin: It's almost a damn miracle!!!

 

King: TNT is the superior of the two, gentlemen!! There you have it!! Tod deKindes put him away with his finishing maneuver; from the TOP ROPE, even; and TNT *STILL* kicked out at two!!

 

***It takes a while, but both men are back to their feet, Tod the slightly fresher of the two. TNT is a quivering mass on his knees, barely distinguishing reality from fantasy. Tod's had enough. He flips his hair back, springs into action, and pumphandles Taylor back on his shoulder.***

 

Axis: There's a SECOND Spirit Breaker!!

 

*One!*

.

 

.

 

.

*Two!*

 

.

 

.

 

.

*Three!!*

 

***Bell rings, as the crowd erupts. Tod's victorious theme song blasts from the speaker, as Funyon bellows out the announcement.***

 

Funyon: The winner of this match…TOD - DEEEE - KIIINNNN - DEEEESSSS!!!

 

***Tod is on his back, catching his much earned breath as Mark Hebner raises his hand in victory.***

 

Axis: A much deserved win for Tod deKindes here tonight!!

 

Edwin: He's finally gotten that elusive pinfall on TNT!!

 

***As TNT is attended to by Hebner; bloody, battered Tod stands up and climbs to the second rope. He releases a ferocious victory roar, all while doing a belt gesture with his hands.***

 

Edwin: Tod's next goal now is lined with NOTHING but gold!!

 

***As Tod gingerly exits the ring to massive cheers, the announcers throw it to commercial; after the shot remained on the celebrating german grappler for a few minutes…***

[Guest Edwin MacPhisto]

Metal comes back from commercial with a graphic on the screen of a giant ring and in its four corners a photo of each of the four participants of the upcoming main event match with a star shaped border around them.  Frost’s head is in the upper left hand corner, Ash in the lower left, Sky in the upper right and IL in the lower right.

 

Axis: (in voice over) “Tonight, a four corners match with two falls.  The first fall for the European title. (a graphic of the Euro belt fills the screen, then shrinks down and shifts to lay right under Frost’s picture) The second fall for the coveted SJL World Championship. (a graphic of the World belt fills the screen and shrinks down and shifts to lay right under Ash’s picture) Numerous outcomes are possible and only staying tuned will reveal to you which one will come to fruition.”

 

The graphic star wipes away to reveal the commentator’s table manned by the SJL’s own version of the Three Musketeers (think more of the guys on the candy bar than from the book).

 

Axis: “Welcome back, and if watching Tod deKindes and Taylor Nicholas Thompson beat each others brains out wasn’t enough for you, we now have what promises to be an equally exciting contest.”

 

Edwin: (holds his left wrist up to the camera and taps his watch with his right index finger) “Time is money and money is time, but the network won’t let me have anymore of either, so we better get this shindig a jiving.”

 

Funyon: (in ring with microphone in hand) “Our second main event match of the evening is a four corners extravaganza scheduled for two falls.  The winner of the first will claim the SJL European belt, the winner of the second will take the World title.  Your referee, the honorable Eddy Long.”

 

With that, Mudvayne’s “Dig” blasts from the arena speakers and all eyes and boos turn to the top of the entrance ramp.  The Insane Luchador can be seen bent all the way back at the waist and a makeshift cross formed with his arms is displayed.  IL leans forward as red pyro sparks all around him and begins shifting to black.

 

Funyon: “Introducing our first competitor from Easton, Pennsylvania at a weight of 195 lbs.  He is the current number one contender to the European title and the True Plague of the SJL; he is the Insaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaane…Lucha…dooooooooooooooooor!”

 

The exploding sparks form a barrier in front of the Luchador and he comes leaping through them like a super villain out of a comic book.  The fans boo, hiss and jeer with vehemence as Luchador just smirks at them and strides confidently to the ring.

 

Axis: “After a few lackluster weeks upon his re-debut here in the SJL, Andrew Rickmen, better known as the Insane Luchador has gone on a bit of a career resurgence as of late.”

 

King: “He took out impressive newcomer Mak Francis to earn the match here tonight, so that speaks a lot to me.  If he keeps the evil flowing he has a great shot to walk out of here tonight with a title around his waist.

 

Rickmen slides into the ring under the bottom rope and retreats to the bottom right corner of the ring.  “Dig” is replaced by the more docile tones of “Bitter Sweet Symphony” by The Verve and IL’s face is replaced on screen with the lovelier visage of Sydney Sky.  She stands at the top of the ring ramp with a serene smile on her lips and soaks in the cheers.

 

Funyon: “Now, introducing from Los Angeles, California at a weight of 170 lbs.  She is the number one contender for the World title, Ms. Sydney Skyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!”

 

The crowd pops huge and Sydney trots down the ramp with a more determined look on her face.  She does take the time to slap high fives with the fans lining the entranceway and they give her major encouragement.

 

Axis: “Sydney Sky is another grappler who one could say had a bit of ring rust until recently.  She scored an impressive upset victory over the veteran Xero to earn a shot at the World belt this evening.”

 

King: “I thought Syd was supposed to get her shot on Crimson and we were just going to have the Euro battle here tonight?”

 

Edwin: “Circumstances beyond my control necessitated that we combine the Euro and World titles for tonight.”

 

King: “What?”

 

Edwin: “The sure ratings boost this would receive.”

 

Sky slides under the bottom ring rope, much like IL, and gives a coy wink to the announce table.  She leans with her back into the upper right ring corner and takes deep breaths to prepare herself for the exhausting match to come.

 

Funyon: “Thirdly, we have the Icelandic Iceaman from Reykjavik weighing in at 296 lbs.  He is the current SJL European Champion; Ladies and Gentlemen this…is…Frrrrrrrrooooooooooossssssssssssst!”

 

The opening guitar riff of “Cities on Flame with Rock ‘n Roll” by Blue Oyster Cult cuts through the auditorium as Frost steps through the backstage curtain with one solitary fist raised in defiance to the jeering crowd and the Euro belt around his waist.

 

Axis: “Frost lost a cage match to Ash Ketchum, along with Durandal, this past Crimson, but his impressive showing lead to another shot tonight.”

 

King: “Don’t think Frost is going to give up the Euro title to go chasing the World.  He said in a promo earlier tonight that he has his priorities straight and he knows what he has to do.  Double champs are not unheard of and we might see one here tonight.”

 

Edwin: “The last Euro-World champ we had was Stryke and he quickly left for the greener pastures of the SWF, so that could be a good omen for Frost if he can do the same feat here tonight.”

 

Frost climbs to the ring apron and steps over the top rope to the canvas.  He paces back and forth like a caged tiger in the upper left corner of the ring, eyeing his two opponents already in the ring.

 

The lights black out and U2’s “Elevation” is almost drowned out on the speakers by the insanely loud crowd.  A waterfall of sparking pyrotechnics pour over the SmarkTron to the stage below and as it cuts out, a spotlight flashes down from the heavens to point at Ash Ketchum with his back turned to the ring and arms outstretched to his sides.  Misty can clearly be seen at Ash’s side with her hands on her hips and her eyes gazing almost mystified at her charge.  Ketchum spins around to face the popping fans as five red pyro bursts explode in front of the SmarkTron and Ketchum begins his joyous, energetic skip to the ring.

 

Funyon: “And finally, at a weight of 258 lbs. from Palette Town.  He is the Poke Freak, the Main Event King, the Cerebral Prankster, the Master of the Gimmick Match and YOUR World Champion, ASH…KETCH…UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMMM!”

 

Axis: “A man who has proven himself in all facets of the SJL hierarchy, Ash Ketchum has finally realized his dreams to not only be the World Champion, but a two time World Champ after risking life and limb against Frost and Durandal on Crimson.”

 

King: “Let me translate, Ash has gone from being a lowly jobber to a big time jobber and he stole the world title from Frost and Durandal because he was too stupid not to put his health over winning the belt when he fell off the cage to the floor.”

 

Edwin: “As a former SWF World Champion King I thought you would applaud someone nearly killing themselves to claim such a prestigious belt.”

 

King: “It’s no fun being champ if you have to take all of your meals through a straw.”

 

Edwin: “Chicken broth for every meal…yummy.”

 

Misty takes her post at ringside as Ash jumps to the apron and climbs through the second ring rope.  Both he and Frost hand their belts to Eddy Long, who holds them up for the crowd to gape at before handing them off to Funyon.  The announcer leaves the ring and deposits the two belts at the timekeeper’s table and he does the honors of ringing the bell to start the match.

 

DING DING DING

 

Frost and IL charge at each other from their diagonal corners.  Frost looks to smash into Rickmen with a shoulder block, but he baseball slides to the mat and between the big man’s legs.  Ash and Sydney rush from their respective corners and catch Frost in the side with a dropkick to each of his sides.  Frost teeters from the shots, but the mutual blows equalize him out from falling.

 

Axis: “We start fast and furious with everyone mixing it up at once.”

 

Edwin: “Like a can of mixed nuts.  It’s macadamia mania.”

 

IL is back on his feet and charges to catch Sky with a shoulder and drive her back into the near corner where he pummels her with punches and kicks.  Frost regains his footing solid and rushes at Ketchum with another shoulder block attempt.  Ash sidesteps like a bullfighter and the angry bull goes headlong into the far turnbuckle.  Ash spins Frost around by his shoulder and nails him with his patented palm strike/rising uppercut combo.

 

Axis: “Ash takes it to Frost and for those of you who did not catch the latest SWF ppv Crossfire, Ketchum made his debut there to take the Hardcore title from Stryke.”

 

King: “Ash is moving up in the world and instead of being a good sport in handing the SJL World title over to Frost, he shows up to wrestle here tonight and possibly walk out with two SJL titles around his waist.”

 

Ash takes Frost by the wrist and whips him into the middle or the ring, just as IL does the same the same in the opposite corner with Sydney Sky.  The two sail into the middle of the ring and bump chests.  Frost wraps his massive arms around her off of the force of the blow than anything else, but he just stands there for a second doing nothing.  He finally shakes his head to regain his senses and throws Sky over his head in a release belly to belly suplex.

 

Axis: “Frost acting a little odd there with his arms around Sky.”

 

Edwin: “I’m sure they don’t make women like Sky up in Iceland.  I mean she shaves her armpits and showers, so I’m sure that is just new to him.”

 

Frost stalks over to IL who holds his ground in the corner.  Ketchum leans down to pick Sydney up by her hair and then takes her by the arm.  He wrenches down on it a few times to soften her up and she touches a hand to her shoulder to signify pain.  IL looks to baseball slide between Frost’s legs again, but he closes them tight and before the Luchador can use his superior speed to dodge Frost, the mammoth wrestler uses his superior strength to pin Rickmen in the corner with a forearm to the throat and follows with a knee lift.

 

Axis: “Ketchum looks to be setting up the Pikaslam behind the other two grapplers belt and that could lead to a quick, early pin.”

 

Edwin: “He and Misty must have dinner reservations somewhere and they wouldn’t want to miss them.”

 

King: “Knowing the kid Ash is at heart, I’d have to refute that since McDonald’s doesn’t take reservations.”

 

Edwin: “Then you don’t go to the McDonald’s I go to.”

 

To mark Axis’ words, Ketchum makes with one final good yank on the arm and lifts the light Riot Girl up onto his shoulders and falls back with her into the Pikaslam.  Ash rolls over and hooks the leg to cover.

ONE

TWO

Frost slings the Luchador across the ring on a fierce whip and he trips over Ash to break the pin.

 

Axis: “Frost just saved his beloved Euro title by the slimmest on margins with IL’s help.”

 

Edwin: “Inadvertent help, it’s not like he said, ‘hey, dude, I’m going to throw you at Ash and you trip over him for me.’”

 

King: “I don’t think Frost says the word dude.”

 

Edwin: “I’m paraphrasing here.”  

 

As Ketchum rises up from the blow, Frost charges at him, letting out a behemoth cry as he extends his arm outward for a clothesline. Ash, though, drops, ducking the clothesline, and extending a foot outwards, trips Frost. He staggers forward, then to the side, and falls forward into the turnbuckle! His head impacts upon the top of the turnbuckle, and though a big man, he falls, not unconscious or injured, though. We don’t know why he falls and stays down (presumably to keep his stamina strong), but now, the two men standing are Ash and IL. Old school!

 

Edwin: “We’re gonna get a litttle ML action here!”

 

King: “Well... there ain’t nothin’ wrong with that.”

 

A chant of “ML PRIDE!” races through the crowd as Ketchum gets onto his feet. Luchador charges at Ash as he gets up, jumping into the air as he throws his body sideways for a cross body, but Ketchum wisely catches him, and spinning around, drops to the mat, slamming IL to the canvas with a might powerslam! Remaining on top of IL, Ash pins him to the mat, ref dropping to make the count...

 

One...

 

Two-Luchador kicks out! Both men separate from each other, but as IL gets up, though, Ash grabs him, flipping him over and dropping him to the mat with a roll-up pin!

 

One...

 

Tw- No dice! Luchador switches the hold, rolling Ash up into a roll-up pin!

 

One...

 

Tw-Ash kicks out! Frost slowly rises to his feet as IL and Ash fight, unknowing of the big man’s plans.

 

Axis: “Here comes trouble!”

 

King: “Spelled F-R-O-S-T!!!”

 

Edwin: “Or M-F-T-Z-Q-E-X-K-L-J-P-T-N-M-O-*clicking sound*-B-F-W-R-D-S!”

 

King: “What the hell was that?”

 

Edwin: “I think it’s Swahili for either “frost” or “man with no testicles.”

 

Frost runs full steam ahead at the two grapplers in the center of the ring, but a playing opossum Sky locks hers legs around Frost’s knees and drops him to the mat with a leg scissors.

 

Axis: “Pull out your dictionary King, because it looks like they changed the spelling of trouble on you to S-K-Y!”

 

Edwin: “Or Z-U-T-P-X-X-R…”(King teases a slap to the back of Edwin’s head and he stops his impromptu Sawhili lessons)

 

Sydney charges with a flying forearm and catches Ash in the back of the head.  He bends forward holding the back of his head and IL shoots out a hand over top Ash’s back to poke Sky in the eye.  She puts her hands to her eyes and folds over in anguish.

 

King: “The poke to the eye, that’s the mark of a real champion.”

 

IL takes both grapplers by the back of their heads and tucks them under his arms in front facelocks.  He falls back and drives them both in the canvas with a crashing pop.

 

Axis: DOUBLE DDT’S FROM THE INSANE LUCHADOR AND HE’S HEADING UP TOP!”

Rickmen runs to the upper left ring corner and vaults up to the top turnbuckle.  He turns around to face the ring and raises his arms up to the sky in a crossed pattern.  Frost slides unnoticed to the ring apron and silently climbs to his feet.

 

Axis: “High risk maneuver coming up.  Most likely the 450 splash on the closer Ash Ketchum.”

 

King: “The Euro belt is not going to change hands without the former champ having something to say about it.”

 

Frost appears out of nowhere on the apron as Rickmen bends down to make his jump.  Frost puts a hand on IL’s rear and pushes him off the turnbuckle to hurtle into the ring and land flat on his face.  Frost then takes IL’s spot on the top rope and lays in wait for Ketchum to struggle to his feet, as Sky also climbs up directly behind him.

 

Axis: “FROST IS UP TOP AND IN FULL CONTROL!”

 

Edwin: “I’d make a sex joke, but this is too important to mess with.”

 

Frost measures Ash with cold precision and when the world champ gains his feet, Frost flies off from on high with his arm out in a clothesline.  The shock of seeing Frost flying toward him wakes Ash up and he dodges to his left and out of his way, leaving him to sail into the unsuspecting Sydney Sky behind him.  Frost’s arm catches her full in the chest and the two grapplers fall to the mat and skid into the near corner from the big man’s momentum.  Frost lies on top and Long drops for a quick…

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

 

Funyon: (from ringside) “Here is your winner of the first fall and STILL SJL European Champion, Frrrrrrrrrost!”

 

Frost stands up from Sky and looks down at her with odd surprise at having gotten the pin.

 

Axis: “It’s clear that Frost was looking to take Ketchum out, but he has to settle for scoring the win to retain over Sky.”

 

Ash and IL charge from the other side of the ring and launch themselves into Frost’s wide back with a high knee a piece.  Frost stumbles chest first into the near turnbuckle and cringes from the shot.  

 

Edwin: “If Frost was a noble competitor, he would take himself out of the match here and let the other three fight for the world belt.  He already has a title.”

 

King: “Frost is staying in because he is noble.  He knows that he’s the only person worthy enough to hold both titles and at the same time.  He won’t let up now.”

 

Ash and IL grab Frost from the bounce out in the corner and lock their arms up around his and grapevine a leg each.  They fall back to legsweep Frost to the canvas and both stand up.  Ash goes to lay a kick in on Frost, but Rickmen jumps back to place all of his weight on his left leg and sends a lightening fast superkick into Ash’s jaw.  Ketchum totters back and crashes to the mat.  IL leaps over Frost to bring a knee down full into Ketchum’s chest and he hooks the leg for the pin.

ONE!

TWO!

THRE

Sky lunges across the ring on her knees and brings a double axehandle across Rickmen’s back to the break the cover.

 

Axis: “A near fall and this match would have been over just like that (snaps his fingers) with a new World champ.”

 

Edwin: “Ash should know better than to trust Rickmen, that’s like trusting King here.”

 

IL takes his feet and pulls Sydney up to him by her wrist to whip her into the far ropes.  The Luchador plants himself solidly in the ring and Ketchum gains his feet behind him.

 

King: “I resent that remark.  I also have some ocean front property in Arizona if you’re interested.”

 

Edwin: “Throw the Golden Gate Bridge in and you have a deal.”

 

IL puts his head down to catch Sky in the midsection with a shoulder and he flips her over and back.  Sydney turns in mid air to come down sideways in a sitting position and Ketchum uses his quick reflexes to catch her up under her arms in a full nelson.  Ash leans forward with Sky’s momentum, but jerks her back up fast and spins around so she can bicycle kick IL in the back.  He flies across the ring and gets tangled up in the far ropes before tumbling to the floor.  Sky uses her agility to flip over Ash’s head to stand behind him and cinches a full nelson of her own.  The stunned Poke Freak is knocked off balance and Sky suplexes Ash back and bridges for the pin.

ONE!

TWO!

THRE

Ketchum rolls to his right and Sky cannot hold the pin.

 

Axis: “Another near fall off of some very impressive athleticism by Sky.”

 

King: “When are these people going to learn, no teaming up in a match like this.  Look out for number one only.”

 

Edwin: “I would hope no one would go number one in the middle of a match.”

 

Frost lumbers over to yank Ketchum to his feet by his right wrist and flings him into the far ropes.  Frost firmly stands his ground, but Sydney is back up and launches herself at Frost with a drop kick to the side of his chest.  That knocks him just enough off balance that when Ash leaps into Frost with a cross body block, the two men topple over the ropes to the ring floor.

 

Axis: “Sydney Sky is the queen of the ring with the other competitors on the floor.”

 

King: “Not for long, here comes the Luchador and a steel chair.”

 

Edwin: (with bad accent) “Say hello to my little friend.”

 

IL charges at Sky with both hands on the chair hoisted high over his head.  Sky drops to a crouch and does a gymnastics tumble into a hand stand right in front of IL.  She wraps her long legs around his neck and the chair falls out of his hands to lie in front of him.  Sky ranas him over to the mat and his head impacts with the chair in a skull-cracking thud.  Sky adjusts herself to stay on top of Rickmen for a cover.

 

Axis: “Sky has IL pinned, but there’s no referee.  Rickmen’s foot caught Eddy Long in the jaw as he went over.”

 

Edwin: “And now he’s out cold like lunchmeat.”

 

King: “We’d be better off with Hardcastle in the there.”

 

Edwin: “Now that’s crazy talk.”

 

Sky sits on top of IL’s shoulders for a moment waiting for the pin count that doesn’t come.  She looks over to see Long spread eagle on the canvas and lets loose of the Luchador to go check on him.  Meanwhile on the outside, Frost and Ketchum are back up and trading right hands with a complete absence of malice.  Misty keeps her distance and looks on worried.

 

King: “The ref is out, here’s your chance to cheat and win.”

 

Axis: “And who are you instructing here, King.”

 

King: “Any of them, cheating works for anybody, that’s the beauty of it.”    

 

IL rolls over to his stomach and props himself up by his hands and then up to his knees.  He puts a hand on the back of his hand and rubs the quickly forming goose egg.  He grits his teeth and narrows his focus on Sydney, who is bent over with her back to IL as she tries to shake Long awake.

 

Axis: “IL is back up from the hurricarana on the chair, still woozy but with plenty of fight left.”

 

On the outside, Frost takes Ash by his right wrist and places his free hand on is back to whip him into the ring post.  Ketchum rams into it back first and Frost charges.  Ash ducks down and dodges to his left and Frost posts himself with a clang.  The big man bounces out with his head thrust back and Ash tucks it under his armpit to drop him to the outside ring mats.

 

Axis: “Inverted DDT by Ash on the outside.  He’s taking a well deserved breather, but needs to make it back in the ring.”

 

Edwin: “The Sky is close to falling and not in a good way.”

 

IL comes over to Sky, who doesn’t hear the screaming crowd trying to warn her, and he spins her around and tucks her head under his arm in a front facelock.  He falls back with a snap and drives her head into the canvas.

 

Axis: “An evenflow DDT from the Luchador and things do not look good for Sky.”

 

King: “Yeah, she’s about ready to go down and not in a good way on that front either.”

 

IL pops to his feet and looks over at Long.  He nudges him with his foot and, although he moves and moans slightly, finds him still out.  IL flashes a wicked grin to the fans and picks up his badly dented chair.  Ketchum finally kips up to his feet and sees the scene in the ring.  Sky wobbles up, basically out on her feet.  IL stands patiently and lines her up for a shot to the head.  At the same moment, Ash slides back into the ring under the bottom rope and springs to his feet.

 

Axis: “The Luchador is going to plaster Sky, a woman, with that chair.  That’s disgusting.”

 

King: “If Syd wants to run with the big boys, they’re going to treat her like one.  I say IL is about to strike a blow for women’s lib.”

 

IL makes with his overhead swing and Sky collapses to the floor, forcing IL to slam the metal chair into the charging Ash’s head with a booming metallic thunder.  Ketchum flies back over the top rope and crashes to the floor with his eyes rolled back in his head.  Luchador stumbles back with the chair hanging down at his side, surprised at the outcome of events.

 

Axis: “HE HIT ASH! ASH IS OUT! IL CAN WIN IT ALL RIGHT HERE!”

 

Edwin: “HE BETTER DO IT FAST, HERE COMES FROST!”

 

Frost slides back into the ring from the side and behind Rickmen and jerks the limply hanging chair out of his hand.  IL spins around just in time to receive the head of the chair in the gut.  He doubles over from the pain and Frost drops the chair.  The Icelander secures IL’s head between his legs and hooks his arms around the man’s elbow.

 

King: “BUY SOME ANTI-FREEZE RICKMEN, BECAUSE IT’S GOING TO BE AN EARLY WINTER!”

 

Frost flips IL up against his chest and powerbombs him down with strict authority.  Sky rises up to her knees and is still shaking the cobwebs out.  Frost points at Luchador and screams as Sydney to make the cover.

 

Axis: “WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE!  FROST ISN’T MAKING THE COVER!”

 

Edwin: “HE WANTS SYD TO TAKE IT LIKE IN THEIR FIRST MATCH! (more under his breath) I told you that boy isn’t right.”

 

King: “YOU IDIOT, THIS IS FOR THE WORLD TITLE, DON’T BLOW IT!”

 

Sky looks up at Frost completely confused and shocked.  Frost puts one of his mammoth paws on the back of her head and pushes her down on top of Rickmen while still screaming at her to make the cover.  Frost shoves a knee into Sky’s back to keep her down.  A newly recovered Eddy Long shrugs his shoulders in an ‘oh well’ fashion and drops for the count.

 

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

 

DING DING DING

 

Funyon: (from ringside) “Here is your winner of the second fall and NEW SJL World Champion, Sydney Skyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!”

 

In the ring, Frost stands up from Sydney and Sky bolts to her feet.  She stands with her arms up in a hapless gesture and questions Frost on what he thinks he’s doing.  Long takes this opportunity to jump out of the ring and retrieve the title belts and a microphone from the timekeeper’s table.  He returns, handing the mic and Euro strap to Frost and World to Sky.  Sydney looks at her newly won title in disbelief.  IL rolls out of the ring to fall on the floor.  Ketchum is leaning on the outside ring apron with blood pouring out of his head from the chair shot.  He pounds the mat in frustration at having lost his title, but his face shows that he is just as confused as everyone else on what has transpired.

 

Edwin: “Has Frost gone full goose bozo here or what?  He had the world title won and he FORCES Sky to make the cover instead.  He’s a walking fruitcake.”

 

King: “I don’t think Frost can officially take that distinction away from you, but let’s hear what he has to say.”

 

The crowd murmurs in shock as Frost puts the mic to his lips and Sydney stands with her hands on her hips waiting to hear what he has to say.

 

Frost: “I said earlier tonight that I thought long and hard about this match tonight.  That I felt I knew what I had to do and what was important to me.  I don’t care anything for Ash or IL or the stupid fans (wild booing explodes from the audience and Frost has to wait for it die down before continuing) or the World title.  I came to realize that there are only two things in this world that I give a damn for: my European title (Frost gestures out with the belt in this left hand and pauses for a beat) and you.”

 

Frost points a finger at Sky whose eyes grow wide and she jumps back like she just got hit.  The fans roar like an ocean wave with surprise.

 

Frost: “Since the moment I first laid eyes on you, I knew that here was a women beautiful enough, strong enough, tough enough and determined enough in her devotion to wrestling to be the perfect woman for me.  I love you Sydney and I want you to have the World title as a gift from me.  Like the flowers from earlier, take this prestigious honor as another sign of my love.”

 

Sky starts pacing back and forth with a hand on her forehead, trying to block out the stress headache she feels coming on.  The fans are dead silent as they wait to hear what is coming next.

 

Frost: “I ask you one simple question and all I want is one simple answer: Do you love me as I love you?”

 

The audience vehemently starts chanting ‘no, no, hell no’ as Frost hands the microphone to Sky who loosely takes it in her free hand, the SJL world belt in her other.

 

Edwin: “I need to check the schedule listings, but when did Metal get replaced with All My Children.”

 

Axis: “Please, Edwin, Sydney is preparing to speak.”

 

Sky: (with a shaking and wavering voice) “Frost, I don’t know.  I don’t know you; all I know is what I see out here every week.  You help me win the world title; say you love me.  I don’t know.  I don’t know anything right now, I have to go, I need to go.”

 

Sky drops the mic with a thump and feedback echoes through the arena.  Sydney jumps out of the ring through the second rope and hops to the floor.  She runs up the ring ramp with her head down, fighting back tears from her eyes.  The World belt hangs like an after thought in her left hand.  Frost stands with quiet reserve in the ring, not showing emotion either way after his heartfelt plea.  Luchador beats the guardrail on the outside, now back on his feet and supremely pissed.  Ash shakes his bloody head on the outside, too stunned to say or do anything.

 

Axis: “I don’t think anyone could predict the outcome we just saw in that very ring.  Frost retains the European belt after an inadvertent shot on Sky, then literally forces her to take a pin on IL to become the World title holder.”

 

Edwin: “And all in the name of love.  You know what they say, in spring a boy’s mind turns to thoughts of love.  Or maybe that’s baseball.  Or maybe it’s a love for baseball.  I don’t quite remember.”

 

King: “I’m disgusted.  Frost gives up the World title for some two-bit floozy.  It cheapens the belt, it cheapen him and it cheapens everything it means to be a World title holder.”

 

Edwin: “You held the SWF World Title and if that didn’t bring the sky down crashing around our ears nothing will.”

 

Axis: “Frost has made the ultimate sacrifice here tonight to show how strongly he really does care for Sydney Sky, our new World Champion.  Does she feel the same?  Can she give Frost a chance?  No one can say at this time, but hopefully we will have all of these answers and more this coming Saturday on Crimson.  Good night and God speed.”

 

The camera cuts back to Frost alone in the ring with his head down and being pelted with garbage from the fans, but he feels none of it.  The camera then cuts to Sky disappearing behind the curtain to the backstage area and fades out.

[Guest Edwin MacPhisto]

RESULTO-S!

 

Mak d. Impact!

 

Frost promo!

 

NBK d. Poisyn in his comeback match!

 

XF9 d. Cutthroat/Kojack!

 

Syd promo!

 

Deathwish d. MVS!  Awesome psychology in this one.

 

Mafia promo...read it.

 

Tod wins the blow-off...but it's a joint match!  But it's really good n' crazy!

 

And Frost's match wins--he keeps the Euro, and Syd takes the world!  Congrats new champ!