KingPK 0 Report post Posted January 13, 2006 LaLa launches us into yet another edition of everyone's favorite Thursday night electronic federation program. The opening video now prominently features most of the Upstarts and includes, as we saw last week, Peter Knight nailing Zack Malibu with the World Title belt. It finishes with Axel raising Knight's hand and we head into the Conseco Fieldhouse in Indianapolis, Indiana. COLE Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to HeldDown! I’m Michael Cole, and alongside me, as always, are The Coach… COACH I love it when a plan comes together! COLE …and former OAOAST Champion, Caboose. CABOOSE Michael, if he decides that tonight is a good night to test my patience, he’s going to find out how a size thirteen feels lodged in his clacker. COLE Plenty to get to tonight, folks! Another night of Anderson Cup matches, we’ll see the women’s division in action, and we may even hear from Leon Rodez regarding the despicable acts committed by Narcissistic Ned last week! All that and more tonigh.. Just as Michael Cole is finishing his spiel about tonight’s content, he is cut off by the unmistakable drum beat of Millionaires’ “I’m on a High”. The crowd pops, if only because it’s the first big action of the night, and not necessarily because they like the guy that is about to come out. The guitars start, and instead of the General Manager’s presence, we get Scotty Static and Johnny Jax, followed closely by Bohemoth, Jamie O’Hara and Christian Wright. COACH A party with all my boys! CABOOSE You are so gay its unbelievable. The five stand along the ramp, making a pathway for their new leader, their mastermind. The music builds, before peaking… BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! …and setting off a pyro blast! Through the smoke comes a figure, decked out in a very, very expensive blood red shirt and black jeans. BUFFER Ladies and Gentlemen please welcome the General Manager of HeldDown…. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAXXXXEEEEELLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!! Quite the mixed crowd reaction for the GM, with a percentage of the crowd still cheering the former OAOAST Champion. Axel makes his way through the guard of the Upstarts, walking up the ring steps and stepping through the ropes, and into the ring. COLE I’m very interested in what we are about to hear guys. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing last week, and I’m having a hard time believing what I see in the ring. The Upstarts, led by Axel. COACH You sound upset Mikey, you shouldn’t be that surprised. I always said we’d rule this company, the Upstarts, and I was right! Axel’s music dies down, and he is given a microphone by Michael Buffer, because HE’S THE BOSS, DAMMIT! The General Manager brings the microphone to his lips, but only receives loud jeers for his efforts to address the crowd. AXEL Hey, go for it! Chant away! Boo away! The more time you take to shut up, the less time you get to see the OAOAST Superstars… MY OAOAST Superstars, perform! So go ahead! I don’t want any injuries to my guys, you keep booing and my boys in the ring here can have a night off! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Axel just stands, waiting for the boos to die down. The crowd gets impatient, and they eventually subside. AXEL Much better. I’m guessing you all came here tonight, and all of you out there in TV land tuned in this evening to hear an explanation. Well, it your lucky night boys and girls, because an explanation, you are going to get. The thing is, I’m not going to be telling you anything you don’t already know. You see, when I started in this company two and a half years ago, I was held down, just like every guy in this ring has been held down. I couldn’t work, I didn’t have a defined character, all these excuses were given to me. But I knew what the real problem was, just like these men know what the problem is right now. They don’t get a chance. And why? Because the inmates have been running the asylum. OAOAST Management DOESN’T. DO. SHIT. All you fans hear about is “OAOAST Management this” and “OAOAST Management that”. Its not OAOAST Management that decides to give Zack Malibu and Leon Rodez a tag title shot when they haven’t teamed before, its not OAOAST Management that decides that it’d be a fun idea to put Stephen freaking Joseph in a title match, its not OAOAST Management that decides who should carry this company, its Zack Malibu. It’s Tony Brannigan. It’s Dan Black. Because what they want, they get. They’re the Originals! They draw fans! BULLSHIT! Zack, Tony and everyone else knows who made this company the most money. It wasn’t them. It was us. It was me, it was Drek, and it was Hoff. You fans know it as well as I do, and if you can’t see it, if you keep cheering those Originals, then you’re just as hypocritical as they are. Axel paces, walking over to the GPX as he continues. AXEL Scotty, Johnny, you know the story. Drek came to you months ago with a plan. He said we should join together and make sure that the old hacks don’t have the influence anymore. It shouldn’t be up to them. Their time has come and passed, they’re in the twilight of their careers. We aren’t. We’re only just beginning. So you two joined with Drek, and you helped me out against Tony Brannigan. Yes boys and girls, of course I knew what was going on when I won my second OAOAST Championship, you think I’d actually not know that these guys were going to give me a hand? It was already three on one, I just evened up the odds. And it worked. Our first decisive victory. We beat the Originals. We had the gold. Scotty and Johnny, you two were flying high after that, the fans started to catch on – you were the next Main Event stars of this company. And we were all set to go into battle. Drek was ready to get rid of Malibu, and Hoff and I were ready to draw one of the biggest buyrates in OAOAST Pay Per View history! We were on top of the world! Axel pauses, rubbing his forehead as if he’d just gotten a huge headache. AXEL But then, it all came crashing down around us. The Originals flexed their political muscle. Hoff, Drek and I all had expiring contracts. Zack, Tony and Dan, among others, used their influence, and the OAOAST offered us less money. A LOT less. Fewer appearances, less money, less everything. Zack was trying to shut us down. I’ll give the old guy credit; he knew where we were going. He knew how much of a threat we were. So, he did everything in his power to get us ejected from the business. And it worked. For a time, it worked. Drek and Hoff left pretty much at the same time. I went off to fight in Japan. We had no influence anymore; the OAOAST thought they could cope without us. They were wrong. With the three top stars gone, ratings and buyrates plummeted. Attendance was down. So, I got a call. They knew I was most likely to come back, because I didn’t screw anyone over by leaving. Except the fans, of course, but hey, buy the DVDs, I’m on all of those. I told the company that I wouldn’t come back unless I dealt with upper management only, and that my contract would need to be negotiated on my terms. You know the rest. I came back, saw the sham that the Upstarts had become, and decided to fix it once and for all. But I needed someone else. I needed someone that was on my wavelength. Someone that I knew could carry this company the way I did a year ago. I’d like to bring him out now actually. So boys and girls, stand up, clap, stamp your feet, cheer, scream, do whatever it is you retards in Indianapolis do… “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” AXEL … and welcome, the REIGNING One and Only AngleSault Thread Heavyweight Champion of the WOOOOORRRRLLLDDD.. PETER KNIGHT! “Oh Hell Yeah” starts up, and the fans are greeted to the presence of the OAOAST Champion. PK appears at the top of the ramp, belt glistening over his shoulder, and saunters down toward the ring. COLE I-I just can’t speak right now. The words that are coming out of Axel’s mouth are just, just incredible! COACH He’s not telling you anything that you didn’t already know Michael, you knew how much influence Zack and Black T had in the back, and you knew the politics behind Drek and Hoff leaving! He’s just being honest with these people, and if they don’t like it, that’s their problem. PK steps into the ring and is greeted by an Axel handshake. The champ holds his title up for the crowd to see, as the other Upstarts in the ring applaud their new crown jewel. AXEL The man standing before you right now is not only the future of this company, but the present as well. He is the man that is going to be carrying this place into its most successful year yet. Peter, when I came to you two months ago with a plan, you thought about it, and you made a choice. The right choice. You made the choice to be the OAOAST Champion, to be The MAN in this business. So often you had been overshadowed by the so called Originals. But not anymore. The same goes for everyone in this ring. You’re the stars now. Peter, you’re the champion. You’re a bona-fide Main Event player. Scotty, Johnny, you’re the best young tag team in this company. Bo, you’re a big man that people fear. Jamie, Christian, you two are the main eventers of the future. But, and this goes for all of you except PK. Show me something. In the last two months, you’ve shown me nothing. This week, you get the night off. Next week though, you’d better make damn sure that you show me some fire. I want to see Bohemoth DESTROY someone. I want to see the Global Party Exchange reclaim their moniker as the greatest tag team in the OAOAST. Because if I don’t, well, maybe you aren’t the future stars I positioned you to be. Show me something. Follow Peter’s lead. Show Malibu, show Black T, show all of these people why you are the next generation of superstars. The GPX look at each other with a smile and a look of determination on their faces. The rest of the Upstarts share the look after the inspiring pep talk from their true leader. But suddenly..... VOICE Hey! Startled, Axel lower the mic and looks around the arena before seeing a figure appear on the Titantron… none other than former OAOAST Champion, Stephen Joseph! SJ Hey, Axel! Yeah, up here! You son of a bitch, shut up for a second and listen to me. You screwed me once, you screwed me out of the OAOAST Championship, MY OAOAST Championship. You WON’T SCREW ME AGAIN! Knight, you’d better be ready, because at AnglePalooza, I’m activating my rematch clause. That’s right, January 29, AnglePalooza, it will be Stephen Joseph regaining his OAOAST Championship when I beat you, Peter Knight! And later tonight when I wrestle, you’ll get a little preview of what I’m going to do to you in three weeks! Fuck me? Oh no, FUCK YOU! COLE Stephen Joseph has just thrown down the gauntlet, even though he is still injured from his first match with Knight. Axel snickers as he speaks again. AXEL That was quite the spiel there Stephen, you write that earlier today? You must be a little pissed off now. I mean, you were nothing more than a pawn in our plans. You were never really the leader of these guys, they never took orders from you. You were used, you were a puppet, nothing more. And now you’re useless. Hey, I could say what I like about these people, but as soon as we lay a hand on you, we’re the most popular guys in the world. Look, if you want to use your rematch clause, fine. I’ll have the contract written up tomorrow. But as for tonight, Stephen, you know you aren’t medically cleared to wrestle mate! I couldn’t expect you to come out here and perform at fifty percent now, could I? So no, Stephen, you won’t be showing anyone anything tonight, because until AnglePalooza, you are barred from active competition. "BOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" COLE Axel is making Tha Puerto Rican go at it alone tonight! What the hell is this? AXEL And after AnglePalooza, I don’t think you’ll even want to wrestle, let alone actually be able to wrestle. Because the title match will be carrying on an AnglePalooza tradition. It will be.......An I QUIT MATCH. COACH AW YEAH!!! AXEL Get well soon. SJ stares a hole in Axel and PK through the OAOAST Tron, as the two power brokers in the OAOAST shake hands again, and Axel goes one better by raising the arm of the champion. The Upstarts leave as a group, a united faction, together for one goal – taking over the OAOAST. COLE My god. What a Main Event made for AnglePalooza! Stephen Joseph versus Peter Knight in an I Quit Match for the OAOAST Championship! We’re only just getting started tonight! Well, folks, after the break, we've got...wait a minute... The cameras cut to a shot of the crowd, where a commotion is fully underway near gate 117. Security steps through the gate, causing more fans to turn and try to catch just what the fuss is about. COLE Is somebody important up there, or what? COACH Is it Crystal? Security parts, two large, burly men standing on either side of the entrance. As more of the OAOAST faithful crane their necks, a lone, large, shadowy figure appears. The man takes the first few steps down the stairs. COLE Wait a minute...wait one minute! CABOOSE Oh, f*** no. As the man heads down the stairs, fans reach out to him, hoping to graze his arm with their outstretch hands. The man, clad in a navy blue baseball cap with a red and white logo, smiles, but his eyes remain hidden...until he looks up at an open seat in the third row. When he looks up, the arena explodes. COACH You gotta be kiddin' me! COLE Is that... The man is dressed casually, a whte button-down shirt over blue jeans, a silver chain around his neck, silver wristwatch on his arm. His goatee has been trimmed, the mustache gone...but the face is unmistakable. COLE HOFF?! The entire arena is shaking now, a few dissenters trying to boo away the wave of cheer washed over the arena. Hoff pauses as his security escort stops at row three, and the two-time World Champion looks out at the fans with a wide grin. He lowers his head as he scoots past a few awe-struck audience members, finally arriving at his destination: section 117, row 3, seat 5. Hoff takes his seat, shaking hands with the man next to him. The man, in his mid-40s, looks like a child on Christmas morning. Hoff laughs and turns away from the man, eyes focused on the ring he once called home. COACH I can't believe it! Fellas... CABOOSE (seething) We know. COLE Hoff...tonight...here? Commercial break Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted January 13, 2006 COLE Fans, welcome back to HeldDown, and if you're just joining us, we have been shocked by the arrival of Hoff. I mean-- CABOOSE Cole, if I may interject, just what in the bloody hell is that man doing here. A man who walked out on this company, turning his back on the people who made him-- COACH What are you, Zack Malibu? Homie, Hoff is just here to watch the show, although maybe my associates and I can talk him into a little more if you know what I'm saying! CABOOSE Yeah, he'd fit right in with your lot. COLE Folks, we don't know why Hoff is here, and it may well be that he's simply here as a fan. But if anything does happen, we'll let you know. We cut to the back as a camera just so happens to be recording in the backstage area...and ZACK MALIBU just happens to have just walked through the back door! The muffled sounds of a crowd roar are heard in the distance, as they're witnessing this in the arena on the AngleTron, and also witness Zack storming through the backstage area. MALIBU Where are they? Where's Peter Knight? Huh... Ring crew, road agents, and all the assorted supporting characters look at Zack with bit lips, knowing he's on a rampage, but also in fear of the new General Manager, who'll make their lives into a living hell if they lead Zack in his direction. Malibu continues pacing through the backstage area, leaving no door unopened in his quest to find the newly revealed leader of The Upstarts and the current OAOAST World Champion. MALIBU AXEL! KNIGHT! Figures you'd be hiding you sons of... As Zack turns the corner, he comes face to face with another Original, someone he's never seen completely eye to eye with, but someone on his side nonetheless. Tony Brannigan, one half of Black T. BRANNIGAN Malibu, calm down. MALIBU The hell I will. Have you seen them? Look, just... Malibu tries to blow past Tony, but Branngian holds him back. BRANNIGAN CALM DOWN. Listen, this will be taken care of but not tonight, ok? MALIBU Get the hell... BRANNIGAN NOT TONIGHT, Zack. You're smarter than this. You KNOW this is what they wanted. They want you on edge, making rash decisions. You're feeding right into it. MALIBU Call it what you want, but I came here tonight to finish this once and for all. Tony surveys Zack, giving him the once over. BRANNIGAN You don't even have your gear with you. MALIBU I didn't say I came to wrestle, I said I came to end the war. BRANNIGAN Listen, Malibu, you do what you want, but don't do anything crazy. MALIBU Crazy? Oh I won't do anything crazy...I'm just going to do what's necessary. Malibu storms off, leaving Tony to shake his head in a moment of worry about what could go down tonight, as we cut away. COACH We've finally pushed him over the edge. If Zack wants a fight, he'll get one. CABOOSE And he's got backup right here. COLE GUYS! Please, let's be professional here. Let's go up to the ring for our first match. To the surprise of everyone in attendance, "The Model" hits over the PA. COLE What's going on? Rick Martel emerges from the curtains and makes his way down to ringside to a nice pop for his return to TV. COACH It's the Model! BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Making his way down the aisle, from Quebec City, Quebec....he weighs in tonight at two-hundred thirty six pounds: "The Model" Rick Martel! COLE We haven't seen Rick Martel in years. COACH Yeah and if you'll notice, not a lot has changed. He has that Arrogance perfume with him. CABOOSE Why do I have the feeling Foshi is his opponent? Martel arrogantly struts around the ring. He places the Arrogance in the corner on the apron as his music dies down. BUFFER And his opponent.... "Unholy" by Kiss hits. COACH Well, you were wrong Caboose. BUFFER He hails from Tokyo, Japan and weighs in tonight at two-hundred thirty two pounds....RIKJIN MASAMOOOOOOTO! Rikjin makes his way down the aisle to a nice pop from the crowd. COLE Let's take you back to last week. Clips of the match between Parka and Foshi are shown where Rikjin inadvertently cost Foshi the match. When the screen returns to the present, Rikjin is in the ring soaking in the cheers from the fans. COLE And you have to wonder if Foshi feels as though he needs to get even tonight. I think that it was certainly an accident, but emotions tend to run high when a belt is on the line. COACH I'd be disappointed in him if he didn't. And I don't like Foshi much to begin with. CABOOSE Foshi has always been a very cool individual. He rarely lets things get to him, but we have seen Rikjin get to him over the past two weeks. I fully expect to see him out here. The bell rings as the match is under way. Rikjin looks for a handshake from the legend. Martel looks around at the crowd with a big smile before looking back at Rikjin. He runs his hands through his slicked back hair and shakes his hands in the face of Massamoto. Rikjin acknowledges the act with a nod and the two begin circling. They meet in the middle with a collarbone-elbow lockup. Martel goes into a headlock. Rikjin shoves him into the ropes, but Martel knocks him down on the return with a shoulder block. Martel runs off the ropes again as Rikjin drops down to the mat face first. As Martel routinely attempts to leap over him, Rikjin elevates himself and trips up Martel. Rikjin goes for the roll-up on the dazed model. 1.... 2.... Martel kicks out. Both men are back up and Martel takes a swipe which Rikjin ducks and turns into a small package. 1.... 2.... Martel kicks out and decides to roll out of the ring. He slams his hands on the apron in frustration. COLE I think Rick Martel underestimated Rikjin Massamoto which is a big mistake. COACH He's Japanese. There's nothing big about him. CABOOSE Shut up and yes, it would be a huge mistake for Martel to underestimate Rikjin. If anything, I'd say Martel is the underdog here not having wrestled since 1998. Martel gathers himself on the outside. Out of nowhere, Rikjin runs at him looking for a sommersault plancha but Martel sees it coming and avoids it. Rikjin anticipates it as he lands on the outside apron. Martel looks at the crowd pointing to his head. As he turns around he is hit with a diving hurricanrana from Massamoto. Rikjin quickly gets up and rolls Martel back in the ring. COLE Very impressive maneuver by Rikjin. CABOOSE What's even more impressive is how quickly he got him back in the ring. Rikjin re-enters the ring with a slingshot elbow across the chest of Martel. He covers.... 1... 2.... Martel kicks out. COLE I can't believe the Model kicked out. COACH Why not? He is a former Intercontinental champion. COLE No, he's not. COACH Yes, he won it in 1993. COLE No, he had a match with Razor Ramon over the vacant title, but he lost. He never actually won the belt. CABOOSE Get your facts straight, Coach. What are you working for WWE? Rikjin drags Martel to the center of the ring and climbs up top. He comes off with a moonsault and covers. 1... 2... Martel kicks out. Rikjin decides to go to the opposite end turnbuckle. He climbs up and comes off with a guillotine leg drop. He covers once more. 1.... 2... Martel kicks out once more. COLE Martel refuses to stay down here. COACH It's like I told you: anything Japanese is small. How much does Massamoto weigh? A hundred pounds? COLE He weighs two-hundred and thirty two actually. CABOOSE I'll check and see if they have any job openings for you. Rikjin ascends the ropes once more. As he's preparing to come off, the crowd begins to stir. A shot of the aisle shows Foshi making his way down to ringside. Nice pop from the crowd for Foshi. He does not take his eyes off Rikjin the entire time. COLE Well, we expected it all along. Foshi has decided to show up as Rikjin did last week for his match. COACH I see the makings of the Coach gaining some respect for this guy. Rikjin is staring right back at Foshi. Martel takes this time to crotch Rikjin on the top rope. He climbs up and comes off with a superplex. Martel covers. 1.... 2... Rikjin gets his shoulder up. COLE Foshi very nearly cost Rikjin the match right there. Martel signals for the end and goes for the boston crab. Rikjin manages to fight him off and kicks Martel to the ropes and through to the outside. Rikjin uses this time to verbally lash Foshi in Japanese for being at ringside. Foshi calmly stares him down but gives no particular reaction. As Rikjin is busy with Foshi, Martel comes up from behind and rolls up Rikjin. 1! 2! NO! Rikjin manages to get the shoulder up again. COACH And again Foshi with the near assist. COLE It's very much like last week though. Can you really blame Foshi for Rikjin allowing himself to be distracted? CABOOSE There's no need to sugarcoat it. Foshi is out here to do exactly what Rikjin did last week. Nothing more and nothing less. As the two men are back to their feet, Rikjin hits a superkick knocking Martel down and out. He once again goes over in the direction of Foshi. The ref notices the distraction and orders Foshi to leave ringside, but he continues to give both men no response other than continuing to stare into the ring. As the ref is distracted with Foshi, Martel goes over to the corner where his Arrogance is. Rikjin walks right into a spray to the eyes as the ref continues to be distracted by Foshi. Martel drops to the mat to cover up the Arrogance as the ref notices the commotion of Rikjin sprawled on the mat clutching his eyes. Martel quietly crawls over to the corner where he got the Arrogance. As he crawls over, Foshi walks in the direction of that part of the ring on the outside. Just as Martel's about to put it down the perfume, he's met with a stiff kick to the side of the head by Foshi. Martel is out cold. COLE What the hell?! CABOOSE I have no idea what's going on here. COACH And here I thought I'd start liking Foshi. Rikjin manages to get to his feet and upon the ref's asking, lets him know he's all right. He stumbles upon the unconscious Martel and, despite his surprise, picks him up and hits the Dragon's Breath. COLE Dragon's Breath! He covers and hooks the leg. 1... 2... 3! DING DING DING BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of this contest: RIKJIN MASSAMOOOOOOTO! Big pop from the crowd. COLE Rikjin picks up the win here and, not to discredit the Dragon's Breath, but Martel was out after that kick from Foshi. COACH And you have to wonder whether or not Rikjin even knew what happened. CABOOSE When someone sprays perfume in your eyes, I don't think you really care. But either way, Rikjin definitely owes an assist to Foshi who served to even up the odds to Martel's Arrogance. COLE But on the other hand, it was Foshi's presence which allowed Martel to use it in the first place. Rikjin squints out of his eyes as the ref raises his hand to see Foshi, now halfway down the aisle, walking to the back. COLE Well, I don't know what the hell is going on here, but this is far from over. Now, let’s move on and talk about a feud that has become very personal. Fans, in 3 weeks time, at Anglepalooza, the OAOAST 24/7 Title will be on the line as “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican takes on his FORMER best friend, Colombian Heat. These two men were friends for six years before their friendship ended at the hands of The Lightning Crew. And now, two years later, Colombian Heat finally has his chance at revenge when he faces Tha Puerto Rican in only the second one-on-one match between these two! CABOOSE The last time Colombian Heat and Tha Puerto Rican fought each other was at School’s Out: Class Dismissed back in May 2004, in an Empty Arena Match. That match is historic and an important match in PRL’s career not just for the first ever meeting between PRL and Heat, but it was, unfortunately, the match where the PR/Popick alliance was formed. COACH Yeah, I remember that match very well. Vitamin X and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez did the commentary. PRL and Heat fought all over the OAOAST Arena in Pittsburgh. PRL poured a 40 oz on Colombian Heat. They fought in the cafeteria, the corporate office, the kitchen. It was great! COLE Let’s take a look at the closing moments of Tha Puerto Rican-Colombian Heat Empty Arena Match from School’s Out: Class Dismissed! The OAOAST HeldDOWN~! logo flashes across the screen. A caption in white blocky letters is placed on the bottom right hand corner of the screen reading, MAY 23, 2004. We pick up on Tha Puerto Rican-Colombian Heat Empty Arena Match from School’s Out: Class Dismissed just as Heat and PRL start brawling in the parking lot. The camera cuts to the parking lot entrance. Tha Puerto Rican and Colombian Heat come crashing through. It is nighttime in Pittsburgh as the two men continue their fight. Neither man has the advantage as they fight all over the parking lot. VITAMIN X: COME ON, P.R.! STRIKE! STRIKE! ATTACK! ATTACK! MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ: COME ON, P.R.! COME ON BABY! P.R. and Heat continue fighting. Tha Puerto Rican and Colombian Heat collide with a double clothesline and fall on the concrete at the same time. VITAMIN X: And now both men are knocked out. Which one will get up first? Hopefully, the REAL People's Champion does! Come on! P.R.! GET UP! GET UP! GET UP DAMNIT! LINDSAY: COME ON! P.R. and Heat both lie on the floor. Both men show signs of getting up, and soon do. THA PUERTO RICAN: TIME TO LOSE, HEAT! Tha Puerto Rican kicks Colombian Heat in the gut. VITAMIN X: YEAH! HERE WE GO! HERE WE GO! P.R. NIGHTMARE TIME! P.R. NIGHTMARE TIME!!! Tha Puerto Rican sets Colombian Heat up for the P.R. Nightmare. He goes for it, but he can't do it. Colombian Heat holds on and escapes. He kicks Tha Puerto Rican in the gut, gets behind him, turns him around, and lifts him up. The crowd in the School's Out Arena is going crazy. Colombian Heat is about to do the Colombian Necktie. VITAMIN X: NO! NO! NO! NO! IT CAN'T BE! IT CAN'T BE! NO! DON'T DO IT! DON'T DO IT! NOOOOOO!!!! NO!!!! MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ: NOOOOO!!! The crowd in the School's Out Arena is cheering loudly as Colombian Heat gets set to bring P.R. down on the concrete. Suddenly, Colombian Heat gets brought down with a lead pipe used by a man. P.R. falls to the floor on top of Heat. The crowd is shocked. VITAMIN X: WHAT THE? WHO? WHAT? UH? LINDSAY? WHAT WAS THAT? MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ: I don't know. Uh. Who was that? Who saved P.R.? The camera pans farther away to reveal the mystery man....STEPHEN JOSEPH. The crowd is in shock at what they just saw. Tha Puerto Rican is shocked too. He looks at SJ saying "WHAT?" VITAMIN X: WHAT THE? STEPHEN JOSEPH! THE MAN FORMELY KNOWN AS BIG POPPA POPICK HAS JUST ATTACKED COLOMBIAN HEAT WITH A LEAD PIPE! BUT WHY? I THOUGHT HE HATED THA PUERTO RICAN! REMEMBER, IT WAS HE THAT MADE THE OAOAST PUERTO RICAN CHAMPIONSHIP AN OFFICIAL OAOAST TITLE BELT! Stephen Joseph removes his leather jacket to reveal a white Lightning Crew t-shirt. The crowd boos even louder. Even Tha Puerto Rican doesn't know what to make of it. Stephen Joseph orders Tha Puerto Rican to cover Colombian Heat. STEPHEN JOSEPH: COVER HIM! COVER HIM! VITAMIN X: I THINK EVEN THA PUERTO RICAN IS SHOCKED AT WHAT WE JUST SAW! DID HE KNOW ABOUT THIS? MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ: I DON'T EVEN THINK P.R. KNEW ABOUT THIS. STEPHEN JOSEPH IN A LIGHTNING CREW T-SHIRT?!!! Tha Puerto Rican picks Colombian Heat up and kicks him in the gut again. P.R. Nightmare on Colombian Heat. The crowd is still stunned. Stephen Joseph orders the referee to count. Tha Puerto Rican covers Colombian Heat. 1... 2... 2 1/2 2.99999999999999999999 3!!!! *DING DING DING* VITAMIN X: What? Uh--I--I--I don't know. What does this all mean? Why is Stephen Joseph out here? And why is he wearing a Lightning Crew t-shirt? He's not a member...is he? What does this all mean? MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ: I don't really know. This is all confusing. Tha Puerto Rican had the match won, then Stephen Joseph appears and attacks Colombian Heat with a lead pipe. But why? Joseph has screwed with P.R. many times in the past. What's the point of this? MICHAEL BUFFER: The winner of this match....THA PUERTOOOOOOOO RICCCANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!! ::"No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Boyds plays in the School's Out arena while the crowd boos loudly, shocked at the apparent heel turn they've just seen.:: The OAOAST HeldDOWN~! logo flashes across the screen. CABOOSE I must have been high during that match since I actually DEFENDED Popick joining up with PRL! COLE Yeah, that was a little weird. Anyway folks, last week, the PRL-Colombian Heat match got even more interesting. Tha Puerto Rican took on Spanish Fly with the stipulation being that if Spanish Fly won, The Lightning Crew would be banned from ringside during the 24/7 Title match at Anglepalooza. But if Tha Puerto Rican won, then Spanish Fly would have to unmask in front of the entire world! Well, Spanish Fly won the match-- COACH --thanks to Colombian Heat! COLE Anyway, Spanish Fly won the match, and now, thanks to him, The Lightning Crew will be banned from ringside during Tha Puerto Rican-Colombian Heat 24/7 Title match at Anglepalooza! CABOOSE Well, not really. COLE I was just getting to that, Caboose! Now, we THOUGHT that the entire Lightning Crew would be banned from ringside during the 24/7 Title match at Anglepalooza, but during the week, Stephen Jose— Cole looks at Coach, who is laughing evilly. COLE What? You want to tell them? You wanna be the bearer of bad news? COACH Yeah, I would like to have the honor of making this announcement. COLE Fine. Go ahead! COACH Okay! During the week, my man, Stephen Joseph, went to the OAOAST Headquarters in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, and *revised* the contract for the 24/7 Title match! Tha Puerto Rican is now allowed to bring ONE Lightning Crew member with him to ringside during his match against Colombian Heat at Anglepalooza! CABOOSE But he is only allowed ONE member. COACH Still, that’s much better than having no LC members at all with him! Popick had to do a lot of arguing with the OAOAST Board Of Directors to allow PRL to bring a LC member with him for his match! He said last week he would take care of everything and he did, and that’s why he’s the man! Way to go Pops! COLE Oh great. Fans, standing by is “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican, who will tell us which Lightning Crew member will accompany him to the ring for his 24/7 Title defense at Anglepalooza! The camera cuts to The Lightning Crew dressing room. “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican is standing by, in his suit and tie “Corporate” ensemble, holding his custom made spinner 24/7 Championship belt over his left shoulder. PRL’s hair is starting to grow back, while his goatee is starting to get longer. The crowd boos the moment The evil Corporate Champ appears on screen. COLE PR, are you there? “THE CORPORATE CHAMPION” THA PUERTO RICAN Michael Cole, your role, know it. Your mouth, shut it! “The Corporate Champion” is about to speak. COLE Okay, P.R. P.R., you now are allowed to bring one Lightning Crew member with you to ringside for your match against Colombian Heat at Anglepalooza. Have you made your decision on who you’re going to bring? PUERTO RICAN Well Michael Cole. Tha Puerto Rican has thought long and hard about this. I know that Colombian Heat won’t lie down and let me pin him. I know that he’s going to bring everything’s he got in our match on January 29th. Because of this, I decided that I needed to choose a Lightning Crew member who would be the perfect ally for me in my match. I needed to choose a Lightning Crew member who would watch my back and make sure that Heat’s friends, Spanish Fly, Otaku II, and John “Rock Hard” Brickston, wouldn’t interfere. I needed to choose a Lightning Crew member who would not be afraid to sacrifice himself to make sure his boss retained the 24/7 Title. I have made my decision. The Lightning Crew member who will accompany Tha Puerto Rican for his match against Colombian Heat for the 24/7 Title January 29th at Anglepalooza will be…Vitamin X! The crowd boos. PRL smiles. COLE All right. So, Vitamin X will be your cornerman at Anglepalooza. Now, PRL, you are only 3 weeks away from defending your 24/7 Title against someone who is, arguably, your toughest challenger yet. What are your thoughts at this moment? PUERTO RICAN My thoughts are that you’re the worst announcer in the history of the OAOAST! Those are my thoughts! Seriously, Colombian Heat is my toughest challenger yet? What the hell are you talking about? Sure, I’ll admit he’s talented. Sure, he’s certainly charismatic. But no matter how good Colombian Heat is, Tha Puerto Rican is simply…better. That’s really all there is to it. The crowd boos. Again. PRL (CONT’D) Just to let you guys know, Colombian Heat was never my friend. I looked at Colombian Heat as a “charity case”. I hang out with him, make him feel like he’s important, and then people will shower me with praise for caring for someone who’s, well, “special”. Too bad people thought we were actually friends. Was I that good? Did I really convince people that I CARE about Colombian Heat? Did I really convince people that Colombian Heat was my BEST FRIEND? Gee, people really are stupid! COLE I’m having a hard time believing you’re telling the truth. You and Colombian Heat were running buddies. You guys always looked out for each other. You always watched his back, and he always watched yours. You truly consider Heat to be your best friend, and I seem to remember Colombian Heat calling you his “brother from another mother.” PRL HA! Like I said, Colombian Heat was someone I hung out with, because I felt sorry for him. I never liked him. Never cared about him. All you saw was acting. Just acting. You thought it was real because I’m a good ACTOR! That’s it. That’s all. That’s all it is. You see the reason I would never, in a million years, call Colombian Heat my best friend is because, quite frankly, Colombian Heat is a…loser. He’s a sad, pathetic, loser. He’s an idiot, too. He used to ask me the stupidest questions. So, Colombian Heat is a sad, pathetic, stupid loser. That’s Colombian Heat in a nutshell. A loser who was lucky to even be in the presence of Tha Puerto Rican! COLE Okay. Hold on. I can’t believe that. You used to call Colombian Heat your best friend often! I remember the way you guys used to be. You used to joke around in the lockerrooms. You hung out with Colombian Heat more than any other Lightning Crew member! You guys had a close bond with each other! And don’t tell me that that was fake! Don’t tell me that that was just acting! That was real! That was all real! You and Colombian Heat were best friends for six years! You guys were tight like brothers at one time! Don’t tell me that you were just pretending to be his friend for SIX YEARS! PUERTO RICAN SHUT UP, MICHAEL COLE! By now, Tha Puerto Rican is fuming, pissed that Michael Cole is telling the truth. PRL’s face is red. A “P.R. SUCKS!” chant starts. THA PUERTO RICAN LIES! LIES! ALL LIES! Michael Cole, you are spewing out absolute, 100%, Grade-A, All-American BULLS(bleep)! PRL cools down, staring into the camera. THA PUERTO RICAN Colombian Heat was a loser when I was “friends” with him. Colombian Heat is a loser now. And Colombian Heat will ALWAYS be a loser, and that’s why he doesn’t deserve to wear the 24/7 Title! That is why, on January 29th, Tha Puerto Rican will walk into Anglepalooza, and lay the smackdown on Colombian Heat’s roody poo candy ass! On January 29th, I will walk into Anglepalooza and walk out of Anglepalooza, not just as The Corporate Champ, not just as The P.R. Menace, and not just as THE most electrifying man in professional wrestling, but STILL THE UNDISPUTED One And Only AngleSault Thread Twenty-Four/Seven Champio— *KA-POW~!* Tha Puerto Rican is kicked in the face, knocking him onto the floor! The crowd is shocked! COLE What the? There’s nothing but dead air for almost a minute. The crowd is buzzing, still stunned at what just happened. COACH Who did that to PRL? Just when it seems like the mystery of who kicked PRL will never be solved, Colombian Heat walks into the frame, a smirk on his face. The crowd explodes! COACH That thug! How did he get into The Lightning Crew’s dressing room!?! Colombian Heat stands over the fallen PRL and laughs at him. COLOMBIAN HEAT What was dat you was sayin’ about me being a loser? A-HA! Colombian Heat leaves The Lightning Crew dressing room to cheers. The camera pans down to show Tha Puerto Rican lay out on the floor, his eyes glazed over. (Cut to Triple C) COACH That—that—no good—disrespectful thug! How dare he do this? He interrupted PRL’s interview to kick him in the face! Did you see the force of that kick? It’s knocked PRL out! He’s seeing stars now thanks to that kick! CABOOSE Heh, I thought it was funny. COACH How can you find humor in that? Colombian Heat is an asshole? He just kicked Tha Puerto Rican squared in the jaw, and then laughed about it! He’s a heartless thug! COLE Well, I think Colombian Heat just sent another message to Tha Puerto Rican. Time is winding down on Tha Puerto Rican’s 24/7 Title reign! COACH According to Colombian Heat. In reality, time is NOT winding down on PRL’s 24/7 Title reign. You watch. I’m right. CABOOSE You’ve never been right in your entire life. COACH Well, I’ll start now! CABOOSE Uh-huh. Sure. Commercial break Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted January 13, 2006 *Backstage, Alfdogg is shown talking with Thunderkid & Reject.* ALF All right, look you two, tonight we've got to go in there against Brock and Team Heyross, and take those guys out, and get their six-man titles. Are you guys ready? REJECT Wait a minute. *looks at TK* The question is, are YOU ready? TK I'm always ready, you know that. I was ready last week, where was the tag at? REJECT I dunno, I wouldn't want you to come in there after me with a chair or anything like that... ALF Come on, you guys, we gotta co-exist here... REJECT What the hell do you care? You got your title out of this whole thing. *Alf is at a loss for words* TK Hey, take it easy, what's your deal lately? You know I didn't hit you with that chair, did you watch the tape? It was Benjamin that hit you, I would have whacked you in the head with it, and maybe knocked some sense into you! *Now it's Reject that's at a loss for words, as he gets up closer to TK.* REJECT Hey, there's nothing stopping you now. *Alf steps in between* ALF That's enough. *turns to Reject* And don't concern yourself with my title, I didn't need your help to win it. If you ever want to try me out, you just say the word and maybe you'll be sharing a hospital room with Chris Stevens. *crowd with a stunned reaction as Alf steps back and addresses both men* Now ARE you READY? *TK nods, and Reject does reluctantly as well.* ALF Good. *Alf leaves the room, and TK follows shortly after, leaving Reject in a sour mood in the room.* COLE Well, Alf trying to lay down the law in there, Coach! COACH No doubt, there's huge problems in that locker room, I can't believe the way Reject was treated in there! “Ashburn” by Hikari kicks up and Otaku walks out onto the entrance ramp to cheers from the crowd. He looks them over before making his way down the ramp, slapping high fives along the way. Cole: Last week, Otaku won a very odd match against Emo Kid last week. Caboose: Odd doesn’t begin to describe that match. Coach: Actually, I think with a little work, Emo Kid could be a great addition to the Upstarts. Caboose: Sure he could, it’d make the Civil War end that much sooner to have a guy who wants to slit his wrists on one team. Otaku slides into the wrong and tosses his Eddie Guerrero tribute shirt into the crowd as he does some last minute stretching. CALIFORNIA LOVE! The Parka drives out onto the stage in his El Camino with his manager Eddy Kalm. He parks the car and poses with the X Division belt to the delight of the crowd. Cole: The crowd, as always, loves The Parka! Coach: But I’m sure they’ll prefer the newer entry to the OAOAST, Otaku. He’s an Upstart for sure! Cole: Actually, I’ve spoken to Otaku, and he has nothing but respect for veterans. His father was the original Otaku, so he grew up around the business, and he comes from the now defunct Global Championship Wrestling organization, where he trained under the Masked Marauder. He was soaked in tradition and history there. His manager, “The Sheriff” Tony Capella, was once a ten time world heavyweight champion back in the days of the territories. Otaku hasn’t officially joined the Originals or the Upstarts, but I very much doubt he would join the Upstarts. Caboose: Whoa, did Cole get possessed by Mike Tenay for a minute there or something? Cole: No, I just happened to talk to Otaku the other day. Caboose: Whatever. Parka makes his way down to the ring and hands his mask to Eddy before climbing into the ring and climbing the turnbuckle and holding the X Division above the head to another roar from the crowd. He then hands it to the referee, who shows the prestigious belt to Otaku before hoisting it into the air, then handing it to the timekeeper. Buffer: Ladies and gentleman, this match is for the OAOAST X Division title! It is scheduled for one fall, with a twenty-minute time limit. Introducing first, the challenger, he hails from Boston, MA, and tonight he weighed in at 215 lbs. He proudly wears the mask his father made famous! He is OOOOOOOOOO-TAAAAAKKKKKK-UUUUUU TWOOOOOO! Otaku ascends the nearest turnbuckle and holds up a hand with the V hand signal, the crowd cheers Buffer: And, next, introducing the current, reigning, and defending OAOAST X Division Champion! He hails from San Diego, California, and weighed in at 250 lbs. He proudly wears the mask of his trainer, the world famous L.A. Park! He is The PPPPPPPPPAAAAAAARRRRRRRR-KKKKKKKAAAA! Parka ascends his turnbuckle and the crowd cheers, but louder. Cole: I’d say Parka is a slight crowd favorite here, although both men are certainly respected by the fans. Caboose: When it comes down to it, though, Otaku is perhaps among the most dangerous opponents Parka has faced recently because he is among the best active wrestlers at applying his Sharpshooter hold. That move, of course, does major damage to both one’s legs and one’s back, and we all know that Parka is coming off what he thought was his early retirement due to what else? Injuries to his back. He’s going to have to very careful to make sure Otaku doesn’t use his MMA training, shoot in, take him down, and lock in that hold, because it’s almost certainly the end of his run if Otaku does. Cole: Good point, Caboose. The referee signals for the bell and the two wrestlers meet in the middle and shake hands. Cole: A great show of sportsmanship there from two fine sportsmen. Coach: Oh please, they’re just imitating their favorite ROH wrestlers. The two then lock up and Otaku seems to get leverage as he drives Parka back and into the ropes. The ref calls for a clean break, and Otaku obliges. The two meet in the middle again, and this time Parka gains the upper hand, driving Otaku into the ropes. The referee once more calls for the break, and Parka gives him a clean one. Otaku sees an opening as Parka moves back in and shoots for a double leg takedown. He gets it, and immediately tries to go for the Sharpshooter as the crowd begins to roar with excitement. Parka won’t go that easily, however, punching Otaku as he resists the challenger’s attempt to cross the legs before Otaku gives up. Cole: Just like you said, Caboose! Parka rolls to his feet only for Otaku to apply a headlock, but Parka brings Otaku into the ropes and whips him off. On the rebound, Parka hits a big leaping leg lariat, then drags Otaku toward the middle of the ring and attempts to lock in the STF, but Otaku kicks with his free leg at Parka’s knees to force him away, then rolls up to his feet. Cole: This has been an extremely even match up so far. Coach: Parka is old and broken down, he won’t last for long if Otaku can keep a quick pace! Cole: Actually, Otaku told me his right knee was injured a few years ago, so a quick pace might not benefit him either. And he’s about the same age as Otaku, Otaku might even be older. Coach: Well then, Otaku is certainly no Upstart! The Upstarts are all about youthful energy and a world beating spirit! Cole: I told you, I didn’t think that he would be one anyhow. Otaku charges at Parka, but Parka lowers his head and hits a big back body drop, and as Otaku falls, his legs snag on the top rope, so his head gets spiked! Parka turns and sees this and mutters something that isn’t something that should be heard on a family show like OAOAST Held Down. The referee immediately goes and tries to check on Otaku, and Ayane, Tony, and Mike run down to check on their friend and stable mate. Half the crowd chants “Oh my God, you killed Otaku!” and the other chants “You Bastard!” Cole: Otaku just fell flat on his head! Coach: He’s done for! Great! One less man for the Upstarts to take down! The referee signals for the EMTs. They come out with a stretcher as the rest of Mad Machine has arrived at ring side. Ayane can be heard yelling “Otaku? Otaku? Are you okay?” Parka doesn’t quite know what to do. Coach: I love it! Parka crushed a potential ally! Cole: Parka is a great competitor, but he wouldn’t want to hurt an opponent like that! He’s not sick and sadistic like his ex tag team partner Peter Knight is! Coach: Cole, try to be objective! Cole: Like you ever are! Otaku slowly gets to his knees, the referee asks him if he wants to continue. Otaku nods and uses the ropes to get to his feet. Cole: Otaku is crazy to continue after falling like that! Ayane climbs onto the apron and tries to stop her husband, but he shakes her off. Parka shrugs and as Otaku slowly approaches, he plants a kick in the midsection. Parka hits the vertical suplex and pops the hips! Cole: The Parka’s going for the Supercharger! Parka rolls up with Otaku and hits the second vertical suplex! The crowd is cheering, although not as loudly as before, they know Otaku might well be out on his feet. Parka pops the hips one last time and sets up the Minchinoku Driver that finishes the sequence as Jamie O’Hara hops out of the crowd and ascends the turnbuckle. Parka hits the Minchinoku Driver and goes into a pin, but O’Hara leaps off the turnbuckle and hits Da Bling Thing on both Otaku and Parka! The referee calls for the bell. Buffer: This match has been ruled a no contest! Cole: What is O’Hara doing out here? He has nothing to do with this match up! Coach: He’s denying Parka a win! Dat’s why he’s my boy! Jamie cheap shots Parka a few times before exiting the ring, talking smack the whole way. The EMTs attend to both men as we head to the back for an interview with Josh Matthews. MATTHEWS I'm backstage with Leon Rodez...who, obviously isn't in the best of moods after what happened last week. We're going to save you the anguish of having to watch what happened back but if we can, we'd like to get some comments. RODEZ You know...usually, I'd give you some sort of amusing intro...some sort of comedic speil that makes you go 'wow, that multi Angle Award winning Tag Team Champion Leon Rodez sure is funny'. Usually. Tonight though, what I'm going to do is talk directly to some people who've wronged me. Infact, not just wronged me...but wronged my family. The New, New Midnight Express. Ned Blanchard, the other guy. I saw what you two did. I've watched the tapes back and I've seen the suffering and humiliation you put my poor, defenceless little sister through. And guess what...you did your job. You got me angry. You got me pissed off. GRRRRRRR!! LEON ANGRY! LEON SMASH!! GRRRR!! Standing up, Leon tears off his shirt like some sort of meterosexual Bruce Banner, attempting to tip a nearby anvil case over but failing miserably. It's clear that Rodez is uber angry now, breathing heavily as he begins to... ...laugh? RODEZ Pysch! Haha, you didn't really expect it to work now, did you Jimmy? Oh what, you expect me to go nuts and storm right into a three on one sneak attack. Or, maybe you just expected me to be so damned pissed off that I'd stupidly get myself disqualified at AnglePalooza, so angry that I'd give you an easy passage to the World Tag Team Titles. You boys must not have done your homework. I don't DO angry. I do, however, DO revenge. We'll come to that in a minute though. See, being the award winner talk show host slash roving reporter that I am, I didn't want to wait until tonight to get comments from The New, New Midnight Express. Dang it, I wanted ANSWERS! So I sent a good friend of mine to find 'Neddy' and Simon and get some words from them. I assume we have the video ready? MATTHEWS Ughm... RODEZ Ughm? You mean 'uhm', right? Damn your chubby, extra key pressing fingers! ***STARWIPE~!*** ...to a room that's completely white. Possibly because it's a recording set and not actually a room, who knows. The room is also virtually empty. All that stand within it is one table and two chairs. And all that sit within it, are a very oddly dressed Alix Maria Spezia and Leon Rodez. For some reason, they both have matching spangly jackets and Alix has a wig that makes her look as if she's just jammed her finger into the mains...you know, again. LEON (DRESSED AS NED BLANCHARD~!) More lemonade? ALIX (DRESSED AS SIMON SINGLETON~!) Please. 'Ned' pours 'Simon' some more lemonade. LEON (DRESSED AS NED BLANCHARD~!) Mmm, this really hits the spot. ALIX (DRESSED AS SIMON SINGLETON~!) Doesn't it though? LEON (DRESSED AS NED BLANCHARD~!) You make really good lemonade, Sultan of Sarcasm ALIX (DRESSED AS SIMON SINGLETON~!) Why thank you Handsome Hustler. -FADE OUT- ***STARWIPE~!*** RODEZ Disturbing footage, I'm sure you'll agree. MATTHEWS *titters* RODEZ What kind of a grown man 'titters'? Laugh like a man, poofpants. Matthews hangs his head. RODEZ Well, that was pretty cryptic stuff from The Midnights. I personally don't know what type of bearing that has on AnglePalooza, unless we have some sort of Lemonade Match. Quite what that would entail, I have no earthly idea, but how about we bring someone in here to analysis what they said. That kinda stuff goes down well on FOX News after all. Allow me to introduce my guest at this time, an Expert Psycho Analy - 'Sis...see what I did there? MATTHEWS Uhm... RODEZ Ms Jade Rodez everyone! On walks Jade LEON Now, Ms Rodez, in your expert opinion...would you say that what we just saw would indicate The New, New Midnight Express has maybe become 'too close'. In a John Cena, ha I'm going to kill your heat j0bber, kinda way? JADE Yes. Yes I would. LEON And would you say that the actions of Ned Blanchard and Simon Singleton towards your good self last week were the actions of two, very desperate men. Two men who know that they are the underdogs going into AnglePalooza. Two men who don't think that they can beat Leon Rodez and Zack Malibu for the Tag Team Titles by fair means, so are instead using their manager's suspect 'brain power' to try and gain every cheap advantage that they can in the mere hope that they stand a chance of becoming 3 Time World Tag Team Champions. Two men who we already beat last month. Two men who had to resort to the cheapest tactics in Lethal Rumble history to even get this title shot! JADE What was the question again? LEON Just say yes. JADE Yes. LEON (whispering to Josh) She's a Pro. SO, New, New Midnight Express, the question is what do you do now? We beat you last month. Your attempt to make me lose my mind flopped like Paris Hilton's music career is so destined to do. And now, you're right back at square one. Don't be fooled into thinking I've forgotten or forgiven the way you two son of bitches treated my sister last week...there will be fallout, I can guarantee you that. But as far a... ???~! What the hell is this!?! Stopped in his tracks, Leon looks around in confusion as ZACK MALIBU storms into camera shot! MALIBU What are you doing!?! LEON I was just talking a little smizack on the New, New Mi... MALIBU For God's sake... LEON What? MALIBU Are you really this fucking dumb, or has hanging around with Alix given you some bad habits!?! Sensing that his partner is in far from a good mood, Leon motions to his sister to run along. MALIBU Do you not realise what's going on around here? Open your damn eyes, Leon! Did you not SEE what happened to me last week, or did you just not care!?! LEON Incase you forgot, you weren't the only one who got jumped by The Upstarts last week... MALIBU So, you DO remember!?! Peter Knight...fucking Peter Knight and Axel beat me down in the middle of that ring and they did exactly what the rest of The Upstarts did the week before...they pissed all over the OAOAST!! And here you are, talking about The New, New Midnight Express!?! FUCK The Midnight Express!! They don't matter anymore!! LEON Zack, we've gotta defend our titles against them at AnglePa... MALIBU Perhaps you didn't hear me...FUCK! The New, New Midnight Express!! You've got loyalties to concern yourself with now! We accepted you in on merit! We expected you to be on our side when push came to shove! Well, guess what...they've just pushed us over the god-damn edge!!! They want a war? They're gonna GET a war...and if it's gonna be a war, I'm gonna need some troops. I need back-up. Back-up I can rely on. So, are you on our side? Or are you too busy playing Comedy Central with Blanchard and Singleton to fight the fight you promised me you were loyal to! LEON You need to calm down. MALIBU Oh, what, I need to 'mellow out'? Do I need to 'chill'? Damnit Leon, maybe you need to think about whether you want a job or not! Because if these Upstarts SOBs take over and take over for good, you might not be employed much longer. You think they'll forgive you for turning them down, joining up with me? Think again. Leon sighs, running a hand through his hair. MALIBU I suggest you think about where your priorities lie. You don't DO angry? Then I suggest you learn. And do it soon... And with that, Zack storms off, leaving Rodez to watch on with folded arms. COACH Yeah, Zack has REALLY lost it. See, THIS is the real Zack Malibu we're seeing people! Something doesn't go his way, he huffs and puffs and demands that everyone follows his lead. CABOOSE Coach, you are about three seconds from a slap in the teeth. COACH Try it, limey. COLE ENOUGH! *Ahem* Well, earlier tonight, I was doing an interview with Tha Puerto Rican, when, from out of nowhere, Colombian Heat superkicked PRL in the jaw, knocking him out! COACH Colombian Heat should be arrested. COLE The superkick knocked out PRL pretty good, but he recovered, infact, he recovered well enough that, during the break, Thomas Rodriguez came out here and delivered me a message from Tha Puerto Rican. COACH Well what does it say? COLE I was just getting to that, Coach. Anyway, here’s the message PRL sent, edited for television: “These (expletive deleted) have irritated me and The Lightning Crew for far too (expletive deleted) long. I’ve had enough of Colombian Heat, John Brickston, Spanish Fly, Otaku II, and that (expletive deleted) Ayane Mitsui, trying to hurt us. So, how’s about in 2 weeks time on HeldDOWN~!, we have a classic 5-On-5 Survivor Series Elimination Match? Me, Mr. Boricua, Vitamin X, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, and Cuban Wall vs. Colombian Heat, Otaku II, Ayane Mitsui, Spanish Fly, and John “Rock Hard” Brickston? How do you (expletive deleted) like that? On the January 26th HeldDOWN~!, me and The LC vs. Colombian Heat and his gang of (expletive deleted) (expletive deleted) (expletive deleted)! You down (expletive deleted)?” So there you have it! Tha Puerto Rican has thrown down the challenge. In 2 weeks on HeldDOWN~!, The Lightning Crew takes on Colombian Heat, Spanish Fly, John “Rock Hard” Brickston, Otaku II, and Ayane Mitsui in a 5-On-5 Survivor Series Elimination Match! COACH I can’t wait for January 26th! COLE More in a bit. Commercial break Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted January 13, 2006 What's the Difference: Prizefighter Remix hits and Reject makes his way to the ring. COLE And Reject on his way to the ring... COACH By himself, I might add! BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and is for the OAOAST Six-Man Tag Team Championship! Introducing the challengers...first, from New York City, weighing in at 235 pounds...RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREJECT!!!!! COLE Reject scheduled to team up with Thunderkid and Alfdogg, usually he and TK make their entrance together! COACH Well, Reject obviously feeling he's not appreciated enough in that team, wants to have some of the spotlight on him, too! God of Thunder hits and Thunderkid comes through the curtains. BUFFER From Green Bay, Wisconsin, weighing 255 pounds...THUNDERKID!!!!! COACH Now here's an egomaniac right here, Cole! Can you believe the things he said to Reject earlier? COLE Well, I think he had a little bit of a point, you know? That was clearly an accident what happened at Climax, there's no reason for Reject to act the way he's been acting. COACH Naw, Reject was cleaning up and TK was jealous of his spotlight, that's what it was. TK steps into the ring without saying anything to Reject, as Magnum Opus: Father Padilla Meets the Perfect Gnat/Howling at the Moon hits and Alfdogg makes his way out. BUFFER And their partner, weighing in at 240 pounds, he is the reigning OAOAST Heartland Champion...ALFDOGG!!!!! The crowd gives a huge pop as Alf slides into the ring and poses with his belt in the corner. The camera focuses on Reject as he looks up at Alf. COLE How about that look? There's your look of jealousy right there, Coach! COACH Well, I don't think you can blame him, everyone wants to have the gold in the OAOAST. COLE Well, Reject a former X-champion, he'll have a chance to pick up some more gold here tonight. Punishment by BIOHAZARD hits and Rick Heyross leads out the champs. COACH Well, here's the guys they've got to go through to make that happen! BUFFER Their opponents...at a combined weight of 785 pounds...they are the reigning and defending OAOAST Six-Man tag team champions...accompanied to the ring by Rick Heyross, first, introducing the combination of CHARLIE MOSS and QUENTIN BENJAMIN, TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAMMMMMMMMMMMMMM HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYRRRRRRRRRRRROSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!! And their partner, from Victoria, Minnesota...BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROCK AUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSTINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!! The champs get in the ring and play to the crowd as the challengers debate over who should start the match. Quentin Benjamin awaits as finally Reject is elected to start. COACH And there you see already some beef in the corner of the challengers over who starts the match! *DING DING DING* Reject and Benjamin circle the ring, and Benjamin goes to a rear waistlock. Reject counters to one of his own, but Benjamin breaks the grip and takes him down with a leg trip, then grabs a front facelock on the mat. Reject manages to scoot over to the ropes, forcing the referee to break the hold. Benjamin gets up and gloats about his performance, drawing boos. Reject quickly hops up and backs into the ropes, and catches Benjamin turning around with a spinning wheel kick! COLE Benjamin celebrating, you can't do that with Reject! Reject whips Benjamin into a neutral corner, then charges and hits the same move in the corner, following through and going over the corner, landing on the floor on his feet! The crowd cheers him on the floor as he climbs back onto the apron and to the top rope. COACH Reject looking to put this one away early, Cole! Reject comes off the top and hits a Ninja Turtle kick! Reject covers... 1... 2..... Kickout! Reject drags Benjamin over to the corner and tags in Alf as the crowd pops. COLE And the Heartland champion in there now! Reject and Alf team up for a double suplex on Benjamin before Reject exits the ring. Alf then picks up Benjamin and delivers a fisherman's suplex... 1... 2.... Kickout! Alf delivers a snap suplex to Benjamin then tags in TK, who whips Benjamin into the ropes and hits a big clothesline! As Benjamin gets to his feet, TK picks up Benjamin in a PRESS SLAM~! and tosses him to the mat. However, Benjamin is able to roll to his corner and tag Moss in. COLE Mistake there by TK, he slammed him towards his corner, and Benjamin able to get over and make the tag to Charlie Moss. COACH And Reject not too happy about that move either, look at him over there! Moss circles the ring against TK, and ties up, but TK tosses him off into the corner. Moss gets up slowly and goes in on TK again, this time getting a single leg takedown and going for a spinning toe hold, but TK pushes him off into the corner. TK gets up and charges Moss, and Moss leaps over and rolls out of the corner with a sunset flip... 1.. 2.... TK rolls over onto his feet, then dives right back at Moss, grabbing his legs and flipping over... 1... 2.... Kickout! Moss thumbs TK in the eye as he gets up, then sets up a suplex. TK blocks, however, and delivers one of his own! TK then whips Moss to the ropes, and delivers a powerslam! TK then tags Reject, and hooks Moss in a hangman's hold... COACH Oh no, I hate this move! Reject asks the crowd, which responds with cheers, then turns and delivers a roundhouse kick to Moss's abdomen! The crowd groans in response. Reject picks up Moss, and plants him with a PILEDRIVER~! Reject covers... 1... 2.... Benjamin saves! TK gets in the ring and takes down Benjamin with a bicycle kick, then sets Reject up for a suplex. COACH Look at this, I told you he was jealous, now he's gonna suplex Reject! COLE He is not! We've seen this move utilized many times, Coach! TK picks Reject up and Reject hooks his ankles around the neck of Benjamin, and takes him out over the top rope! Alf and TK then measure Moss, as Brock slowly climbs into the ring behind them. Alf and TK deliver a double clothesline to Moss! But as they turn around, they receive one themselves at the hands of Brock Ausstin! COACH And Brock Ausstin the last man standing in the ring, could that be the sight we see in 2 1/2 weeks at Anglepalooza? COLE Could very well, Brock Ausstin of course involved in the Lethal Rumble, as well as Team Heyross...all six of these men, in fact, entered in that match for a shot at the OAOAST World title at AngleMania! Reject comes off the top rope as Brock is celebrating, and hits him in the back of the head with a missile dropkick, sending him stumbling to the ropes and over the top of them and out! COLE Or maybe THAT could be the position Brock Ausstin ends his night in on the 29th of January! Moss attempts a Pearl Harbor Job on Reject, but Reject catches him coming with a savate kick, then gives him a back suplex, setting him up for ROLLING THUNDER~! However, when he goes into the ropes, Brock pulls them down and Reject goes crashing over the top! COACH And a smart move by Brock Ausstin from the outside, and he's not done yet! COLE Oh no, what's he doing now? Brock picks up Reject on the floor for an F-STUNNER-5...but when he spins him, he smack's Reject's left knee against the ringpost! COLE OH NO! Reject could have a broken leg right here! Brock then picks him up and throws him back into the ring over the second rope. Moss rolls over Reject in a cradle... 1... 2..... Kickout! Moss stomps the knee of Reject. COLE Could be setting up the Mossy Knoll here... Moss, however, grabs the leg and hooks a half crab instead! Moss sits back on it far as Reject struggles to get to the ropes, not making much progress. Reject is wincing in pain, but finally gathers up one last burst and gets to the ropes, forcing the referee to break! COLE Great fortitude shown there by Reject, and the referee's got to break this thing! Moss finally releases the hold, and tags in Benjamin. Moss runs to the ropes, and Team Heyross hits the DOUBLE GOOZLE~! Benjamin covers... 1... 2........ Reject gets a shoulder up! Benjamin follows up with a snap suplex, then tags in Brock. Brock stalks Reject, and as he gets up, gives him a Dragon Screw! COLE Nice legwhip by Brock, and look at the look on the face of Alf, you know he'd like to be in there right now with the big guy. Brock drops down and hooks an STF! COLE STF, another submission hold put on here! Reject isn't budging on this one, so Alf jumps in and breaks it up. Brock gets up and stares down Alf. COACH Look at those looks, Cole! As the referee gets Alf out of the ring, Brock delivers an overhead belly-to-belly, then tags Moss back in. Moss delivers a gutwrench suplex, then attempts the MOSSY KNOLL~!!! However, Reject is quickly able to get to the ropes, and uses them to pull Moss through to the floor! Moss quickly slides back in and tags Benjamin, but gives a bodyslam to Reject before exiting. Benjamin goes to the top, and comes off for a flying headbutt...but Reject rolls out of the way! COACH And Reject has GOT to get out of there now, Cole! Reject struggles over to this corner, and Moss jumps in to grab him. The referee backs Moss up, as Reject makes the tag to TK! TK jumps in to go after Benjamin...but the referee restrains him! COLE Oh, the referee didn't see it! The crowd boos as TK smacks the ropes in anger. Team Heyross grab Reject and give him a double forward Russian legsweep! Benjamin then picks Reject up and delivers the ORANGE CRUSH~!!! 1... 2........... TK makes the save! Brock switches with Benjamin, and whips Reject into a corner, then charges, but Reject gets his good leg up and catches Brock right in the face, backing him up! He then delivers a one-footed dropkick, and leaps over and TAGS ALF!!! COLE And HERE COMES THE SHOWDOWN, Coach! Alf vs Brock! Alf fires off on Brock with right hands, then sends him to the mat with a superkick! Alf then picks up Brock and whips him hard into a corner, and as Brock bounces off, catches him with a hurricanrana! Alf covers... 1... 2....... NO! Brock POWERS out, sending Alf all the way into a corner! COACH No way, Brock's not near being pinned yet! Alf waits on Brock to get up, and delivers a T-Bone suplex! COLE Wow, I can't believe Alf got him over! Alf then goes to the middle rope, and comes off with a legdrop! Another cover... 1... 2........ Moss saves! Benjamin joins him in the ring, and the two set him up for a double suplex. However, TK comes up from behind and catches Alf on the way over, and they deliver stereo dropkicks! Team Heyross both slide out of the ring as Alf picks Brock up, but Moss quickly gets back up on the apron and blind tags himself in. Brock whips Alf into the ropes, but puts his head down and gets kicked. Moss then sneaks up on Alf and delivers the STO backbreaker! Moss covers... 1... 2....... Kickout! Moss attempts a whip into the ropes, but Alf counters, and delivers a fisherman's buster to Moss, then goes to the top... COLE Here it comes, we could see new champs right here, Coach! However, when Alf gets to the top, Reject slaps him on the leg and gets back into the ring! COACH Wait, what's Reject doing? The referee steps in front of Alf informing him of the tag, as Reject lifts Moss up for a suplex. Benjamin slides in and clips Reject's bad leg, and Moss falls on top of Reject and hooks said leg... 1.... 2............. 3!!!!!!!!!!!!! *DING DING DING* COLE And the champs retain their titles! Big mistake by Reject! BUFFER The winners of the match...and STILL OAOAST Six-Man Tag Team Champions...the team of BRRRRRRRRRRRRROCK AUSSSSSSSSTINNNNNN and TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAMMMMMMMMMMMMM HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!! As Alf checks on Reject, TK jumps out of the ring and yells at Reject from the floor. COLE And look at this, more disagreements between these three men, as TK walking off here! COACH Trouble in paradise here, no doubt, Cole! I gotta wonder, how are these guys going to co-exist, they've got a match in the Anderson Cup next week! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The camera cuts to the backstage area. Cuban Wall & Vitamin X are arguing about something just as the camera cuts to them. Vitamin X is wearing a blue-collar dress shirt, a black sports jacket, black dress pants, black dress shoes, a $500 Rolex watch, and a gold chain around his neck. Cuban Wall is in his wrestling attire. VITAMIN X Okay. Okay! Now, if we’re going to become an actual tag team, we need to discuss a few things. CUBAN WALL Like what? VITAMIN X Well, our entrance? How will we enter the ring? CUBAN WALL We’ll enter the ring the same way we always do. With me in the front, and you right behind me, bouncing around like a spazz. VITAMIN X Hey, that’s the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle you’re talking about there! I do not bounce around like a spazz! CUBAN WALL Yes you do. VX No I don’t. CUBAN WALL So, we just enter the ring normally then? VITAMIN X How about, we have a bunch of pyro shoot out from the entrance stage. And then, I’ll come out, riding an elephant, throwing piles of money at the crowd. Then, you come out, riding…an ostrich! Yeah, and then we’ll get on these carpets, and fly to the ring! Well, not really fly to the ring, that’s impossible. But we’ll use special effects to make it *look* like we’re flying to the ring. Yeah, that’s it! We’ll use the best special effects team money can buy! And luckily for us, I have a ton of it! Get George Lucas on the phone, pronto! CUBAN WALL X, that is the STUPIDEST idea for an entrance I have ever heard! VITAMIN X Oh come on! Like you can come up with something better! It’s the best idea ever! CW No it’s not. VX Yes it is. CW No it’s not. VX Yes it is. CW No it’s not. VX Yes it is! Cuban Wall punches Vitamin X in the jaw! VITAMIN X Okay. Maybe it is pretty bad. Let’s just come to the ring like we normally do. CUBAN WALL Okay. How about entrance music? There is no way I am coming to the ring to a freaking rap song! I hate rap! Rap is crap! VITAMIN X Yeah. Yeah. I know. You tell us that every single day! Well, what would you use for an entrance song? CUBAN WALL “Rollin’” by Limp Bizkit! The crowd boos at the mention of Fred Durst’s shitty band. VITAMIN X Oh God no! Not THAT song! CW Oh and why not? VITAMIN X Because that song is outdated. It’s lame. Not to mention, if you come out to it, people are going to think you’re some sort of Undertaker rip off. WALL What? VITAMIN X Yeah. I mean, it’s bad enough that you kinda look like him. Now, you want to come out to one of his entrance themes? People are going to think you’re some bad Undertaker rip off for now on. CW Yeah. I guess you’re right. The Lightning Crew doesn’t need TWO rip offs of successful WWF wrestlers. VITAMIN X Yeah—wait two? Who’s the first rip off? CUBAN WALL You know who. VITAMIN X Right. Nevermind. Let’s just use “No Chance In Hell”. CUBAN WALL Fine by me. VX Okay. So, we got the entrance. We got the music. Now, all we need is a name. CW How about: Cuban Wall & The Incredible Spazz. VX Now was that really necessary? You didn’t have to insult me like that. Why you buggin’? Why you buggin’? CUBAN WALL Oh pipe down. It was a joke. X All right. Fine. Say, how about we call ourselves The Wundertwins? CW Wasn’t there a superhero team called that? X No, that was the Wondertwins. We are the Wundertwins! With a U, you see. CUBAN WALL It’s still a crappy name. VX Is not. CW Is too. VX Is not. VX Is too. CW Is not. VX Is too. CW Is not. VX Is not. Cuban Wall punches Vitamin X in the jaw again! VX screams. He holds his jaw. VITAMIN X Okay. So it is a crappy name! CUBAN WALL I still think we should go with Cuban Wall & The Incredible Spazz. VITAMIN X And I still think that name sucks. CUBAN WALL No it doesn’t. VX Yes it does. CW No it doesn’t. VX Yes it does. CW No it doesn’t. VX Yes it does! Cuban Wall motions to punch VX in the jaw again. VITAMIN X No! No! Okay! Geez, stop using your brawn to overpower me! A lightbulb goes off in X’s head. THE X-MAN Wait a minute. That’s it! Brawn! We’ll make a great team because of your strength and my smarts. Together, with my intellect, and your power, we’ll ascend to the top of the OAOAST Tag Team Division and reign as OAOAST World Tag Team Champions! We’re Brains And Brawn! CUBAN WALL Brains And Brawn? VX Yeah. Brains & Brawn! That’s our new name! CW Brains & Brawn? Okay. I can go with that. VX Good. Good. Good. We’re now onto something! Soon, we will rise to the top, together. We are going to DESTROY any tag team that comes our way! Why? Because we are the perfect combination of Brains & Brawn! CUBAN WALL Yeah! Cuban Wall and Vitamin X, Brains & Brawn, pound fists. The camera zooms in on their fists pounding. The crowd boos. COLE Brains & Brawn have arrived! What will their future hold in the OAOAST Tag Team Division? (FADE OUT) -The screen fades into the back. Catering tables, random jobbers and ring crew litter the halls. From around a corner walks the NEW HeldDown General Manager Axel. His blue-pinstriped suit (he changed after the opening promo, you see) shows a new side of the one-time madman and fan favorite. The fans boo as the man struts confidently down the hallway, smirking at everyone he sees. He looks ahead, and his smirk turns into a full-on smile. AXEL AUSTIN! -The camera turns to show none other than Austin "Ragdoll" Baker walking towards Axel. The fans cheer as they see the Man from Vegas, a complete opposite of Axel in his ripped black jeans and grey zip-up hoody underneath a black and red motorcycle jacket. His once long greasy hair is now crudely cropped and still greasy. The two meet in the middle of the screen. Axel's arms are outstretched as if for a hug. AXEL It's been too long, man... -Ragdoll suddenly puts his hand up, stopping Axel before the hug. The fans "OOOOOOO" at that, and Axel is obviously not happy. RAGDOLL ...Who the hell do you think you are? AXEL ...W-What? RAGDOLL You heard me, you meat-headed shit sack. Who the hell do you think you are? Huh? AXEL Austin...I-I don't under... RAGDOLL You don't understand WHAT, Adam? Huh?! Why I'm pissed at you?! You let me back into the OAOAST, and for what? So you can use me in your masterplan for this "Upstarts" bullshit? Here's what I don't understand, "buddy"...Why in the blue hell you'd do such a thing. Why would you turn your back on your friends?; the people that helped MAKE you a Two-Time OAOAST Champion? The people that helped MAKE you the phenomenon that you were? AXEL First off, "buddy"...They didn't make ANYTHING. All that THEY did was add to my already raging fire. I would have accomplished what I did with or without them. RAGDOLL That's bullshit and you know it. Adam, what happened to you? What sparked this? -Axel moves in closer. The two are almost nose-to-nose, both of them not willing to back down. The once best friends are on the verge of fighting. AXEL I don't have to explain SHIT to you...At this point, I'M in control, and you need to make a choice: You are either with me...or against me. -The fans cheer/boo at this. Ragdoll backs off a bit and looks past Axel. RAGDOLL ...Axel...I'm against you. -The fans erupt! Axel now backs off, nodding slightly. RAGDOLL But not only am I AGAINST you...I'm flat out through with you. You are no longer welcome in ANY Baker household, you are no longer allowed to be the Godfather to my daughter, you're never allowed to see or talk to my family again. In fact, you're dead to me. You've changed, and NOT into someone I want to keep around. -The fans cheers grow even louder as Ragdoll moves in closer, his eyes full of rage, which match Axel's. RAGDOLL And if you EVER show your face in Vegas or Hollywood? I swear to god, you'll be dead before you take your second step. Consider yourself a marked man, Adam. -With that, Ragdoll turns and walks away, leaving a shocked Axel standing alone in the hallway. -FADE- Commercial break Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted January 13, 2006 COLE Welcome back to He......wait. I’m told, there’s something going on backstage! We—yes—we got a camera there right now! Let’s go to it. The camera cuts to the backstage area. Vitamin X and Cuban Wall, Brains & Brawn, are standing over somebody. The camera zooms in closer to reveal that somebody is John “Rock Hard” Brickston! COLE What are Vitamin X and Cuban Wall doing to John Brickston? COACH Correction. What are BRAINS & BRAWN doing to John Brickston? John is struggling to get up, apparently having already been beaten by the two Lightning Crew members. Vitamin X laughs evilly. VITAMIN X What’s the matter, John? You’ve fallen and can’t get up? HA! HA! HA! HA! CUBAN WALL Here, let me help you! But Cuban Wall doesn’t help. Instead, he chokes John Brickston with a lead pipe! COLE Now come on! This isn’t right! It’s bad enough they attacked John Brickston last week, sending him through a table! Now this! Brickston falls to the ground while the crowd boos loudly. Cuban Wall gives X the lead pipe, and X slams it against Brickston’s back! Brickston screams out in pain! COACH Brains & Brawn have just destroyed John Brickston and I love it! X and Wall lay the boots on John Brickston. Then, Spanish Fly runs out and attacks Vitamin X! Fly beats on X, but is stopped by Cuban Wall! Brains & Brawn double-team Spanish Fly! COLE Spanish Fly wasn’t unable to fight them! The numbers game caught up with him! COACH Serves Spanish Fly right for trying to save Brickston! CABOOSE I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I agree with Coach. COLE Whoa. That was weird. Vitamin X throws Spanish Fly into the garage door! He then punches Fly in the face. Again. Does the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle. And then punches Fly again, knocking him down! VITAMIN X That’s for last week! Vitamin X kicks Spanish Fly in the gut. He laughs in his face! THE X-MAN BOO-YAH~! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! Come on let’s go! Brains & Brawn leave. Spanish Fly and John “Rock Hard” Brickston lie on the ground, in pain. Brickston coughs up blood. The crowd still boos. (Cut to Triple C) COLE I can’t believe what we just saw! John Brickston and Spanish Fly left for dead by Vitamin X and Cuban Wall, Brains & Brawn. COACH On their first night as a tag team, Vitamin X and Cuban Wall have already left their mark. They just absolutely DESTROYED John Brickston and Spanish Fly, as payback for Tha Puerto Rican’s humiliating lost to Spanish Fly last week! COLE The Lightning Crew is still pissed that Spanish Fly pinned Tha Puerto Rican last week, and they took it out on Brickston and Fly tonight! COACH If the way they handled John Brickston and Spanish Fly is any indication, then Brains & Brawn are going to be a force to reckon with in the OAOAST! COLE You maybe right about that! Positioned atop the INTERVIEW STAGE near the entranceway (popularized by the OAOAST after WWE retired it so many years ago and just recently brought back) is OAOAST correspondent and C.O.D. bitch Terry Taylor in a lovely OAOAST polo shirt available at OAOAST.com. TERRY Ladies and gentlemen, will you please welcome the men who'll meet The Usual Suspects for the World Tag Team Title at Anglepalooza...accompanied, as always, by their manager James E. Cornette... the New New Midnight Express! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" As "Chase" blares over the loud speakers, a tennis racket-wielding Jim Cornette leads to the interview stage Sarcastic Simon and Narcissistic Ned, clad in matching silver vests, gold chains, and sporting brand name sunglasses. The trio avoid debris hurled their way by angry fans, including verbal insults from a grandmother in a C.O.D. t-shirt. COLE Here come the #1 contenders to the World Tag Team Title. And do they have some explaining to do after their actions last week. As Terry Taylor said, they'll be facing the World Tag Team Champions, The Usual Suspects, January 29th at Anglepalooza. And unlike the champs, the New New Midnight Express won't be greeted kindly when we arrive in Toronto for Anglepalooza. COACH Haven't you ever heard of psychological warfare? COLE This isn't psychological warfare, Coach. It's personal. COACH It's all a ploy to get Leon Rodez, Mr. Cool, if you will, worked up. And if you ask me -- and I know you would -- James E.'s plan has worked to perfection. I don't care what Leon Rodez says, he's been taken out of his game. The Midnights have got him all bent out of shape. I can't wait to see him and that prissy prep Zack Malibu go down at AP. Back up to the Red Rooster. I mean, Terry Taylor. TERRY Gentlemen, we're now just 2 weeks away... SIMON Hey Terry, aren'tcha gonna congratulate us on winning the tag Lethal Rumble? Huh? TERRY I would... NED Then go ahead. TERRY (CONT'D) ...but what you did to Jade Rodez was downright... It was downright repulsive. Your actions last week have completely overshadowed winning the tag team Lethal Rumble, which was won rather controversially, I might add. The fact you 3 are up here all giddy is even more sickening. CORNETTE (scoffs) Oh, sticks and stones, Terry Taylor. It's just like the media to build up and tear somebody down, just like they did to that fine young man Marcus Vick. Why? Because they can't stand the sight of greatness. Being surrounded by greatness makes people like you and everybody out there realize how sad and pathetic they really are so they resort to character assassination to build themselves up. And that's exactly what those morons in the crowd and watching live on TSM did when they voted The Usual Suspects as Tag Team of the Year. Never mind the fact Zack Malibu and Leon Rodez have only been a tag team for, like, 3 months, the Midnight Express didn't even finish in the top 3! You know where they finished, Terry Taylor? TERRY Last. CORNETTE Can you believe that, brother?! Not only that, but C.O.D. came in second! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" The thunderous ovation the mentioning of C.O.D. receive anger Cornette and the Midnights, who try silencing the crowd via intimidation. The strategy backfires on the former two-time World Tag Team Champions, as the crowd break out into a chant of... "C-O-D!" "C-O-D!" "C-O-D!" COLE Oh, yeah! They love Krista and Alix here. CORNETTE Speaking of C.O.D., let me tell YOU something, Krista Isadora Duncan, Ms. Fitness guru. You wanna talk about victims. Let's talk about your ex, the proud father of little Maya, Ned Blanchard. You like to paint Ned out to be a deadbeat dad, don't you, Krista? Let me ask you this, Duncan. If Ned is such a deadbeat father, why does he continue to wrestle? This man doesn't put his body on the line every week of the year so he can afford to pay you child support -- for which YOU sued for despite the fact you makes millions helping ugly people get in shape and using those same millions to help fund organizations like the one currently trying to oust Joe Pa, a 79-year-old college football coach who still does what he loves for the love of the game -- just for you to slander his good name in front of a worldwide television audience. You suck this man so dry out of his hard earned money you don't need the Botox injections you pay for with the child support given to you by the World's Greatest Dad. COLE Hmph! The World's Greatest Dad? Who's he kidding. CORNETTE (CONT'D) You see, those wrinkles on your forehead aren't the product of natural aging. No. It's the result of you falling flat on your face every time you fall off the wagon, Duncan! Remember, the last time you and your idiot of a partner got in my men's way, not only did we take your World Tag Team Titles but we sent you into witness protection. But you see, Terry, this isn't the first time the Sultan of Sarcasm and the Handsome Hustler have gotten the shaft from the fans. We haven't forgotten about coming in DEAD LAST in the interactive poll last year. And what happened soon thereafter? SIMON & NED Gold, baby! CORNETTE (laughs) That's right. That brings me to Anglepalooza and you, Leon Rodez and Zack Malibu. The Usual Suspects. "YYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" CORNETTE (scoffs) Yeah, we saw your little skit. Real cute. I hoped you had fun, Rodez. But in case you forgot, let me remind you what profession your in, punk. This isn't SNL. This is professional wrestling! Pop the crowd and whatever else you wanna pop outside the ring all you want, Rodez. This is a dog-eat-dog world. It's survival of the fittest. And as you can see, my men are in tip-top shape. There isn't a man, woman or child who can match intellects with Jim Cornette. I told the wrestling world I had a plan. And just like J.R. Ewing, when James E. Cornette has a plan -- watch out! I can't deny The Usual Suspects ability in the ring, but I can deny them -- more specifically, the Midnight Express can deny them from crossing the Canadian border back into the United States with the World Tag Team Title. TERRY You sure how awfully confident, Jim Cornette. CORNETTE You would too if you got the belated Christmas present of a lifetime. Santa sure did make up for not delivering my presents this year. Must've been a traffic nightmare up in the North Pole. You see, I happened to have a very nice meeting with our esstem new General Manager Axel, and...heh...we both concluded The Usual Suspects will probably try and get themselves counted out or disqualified once they run into trouble against the Midnight Express. So I took the liberty of getting a couple of stipulations added to the tag title match at Anglepalooza. TERRY What in the world are you talking about, Cornette? I haven't heard anything of the sort. CORNETTE That's because General Manager's office and my office haven't gone public with the information until now. So without further ado. Ladies and gentlemen, J.C.E. in association with Axel's OAOAST proudly announce the World Tag Team Title match at Anglepalooza, Sunday, January 29th will be contested under the rules that if either one of those hotheads, Zack Malibu and Leon Rodez, try and get themselves counted out or disqualified... SIMON Something we wouldn't do. CORNETTE (CONT'D) ...Sarcastic Simon and Narcissistic Ned will become the NEW World Tag Team Champions! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" TERRY What?! You gotta be kidding me. CORNETTE I assure you, I'm not. The contract will be posted on OAOAST.com for all to see so it can put an end to any false rumors The Usual Suspects will probably start over their dissatisfaction. TERRY I can't believe it. Your men's behavior last week, which Krista Isadora Duncan, the mother of your child, Ned, who isn't exactly the most friendliest person in the world... SIMON Especially after she's gulped down a bottle of Jack Daniels! TERRY (CONT'D) ...as I can attest to, thought went WAY over the line was...basically rewarded. NED Awwww, man. Krista? Her idol may be Gloria Steinman, but her Sugar Daddy is the Handsome Hustler. You gotta take what she says with a big grain of salt. She says I'm not the same Ned she met. What, is she looking to hook up with me again? Does she want to plan a double wedding with Spezia and Rodez? Hey, the sex was great, so if she wants to get it on rather than get along, I'm game. But I don't have to explain my actions to you or anybody but the big Neddy downstairs. What I did was no different than when Pussy Galore finally gave in to James Bond. Some would say 007 forced himself on Pussy. It's called sexual tension, ladies and gentlemen. Sexual tension. Pussy wanted that piece of meat that was Sean Connery. Jade... well, she wanted that piece of meat that is "The Handsome Hustler" Ned Blanchard. And being a man who aims to please, I'm always open to offers from fine-looking bitch-- ladies. But Jade Rodez is no lady. She's that Ned wannabe Leon Rodez' slutty sister. You know what her favorite hotel is, Terry Taylor? TERRY I'm afraid to ask. NED The Hilton. Because EVERYBODY'S been in one. If you thought our behavior last week was cold, Rodez and Malibu, take into consideration that was only a little taste of things to possibily come. Knocked up chicks deserve to feel sexy too, you know. COLE Ugh! How dare he. COACH It wouldn't be the first time the Ned Man's been with a knocked up chick. COLE Yeah. He nearly performed an abortion with his penis the last time. SIMON As you can see, our future is so bright we gotta wear shades. It was just two weeks ago that Ned and I went through some of the very best tag teams the OAOAST has to offer...and once again we showed why we are the greatest tag team in not just the OAOAST but professional wrestling today! We're gonna make ALL the LOSERS regret voting The Usual Suspects as Tag Team of the Year. They voted us last, at Anglepalooza we're coming in FIRST! All you people better get your brush with greatness now, because in a couple of weeks we'll be too big of stars to get close to! Not that we'd get close to you anyway. CORNETTE They''ve broken ribs, arms, hearts and spirits. At Anglepalooza they will break up the most popular tag team in the OAOAST today. The road to AngleMania V for every tag team in the Anderson Cup runs through the Midnight Express! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" "Chase" hits, marking the end of the interview. Cornette grabs Simon and Ned by the wrist and lift their hands up. They pose atop the interview stage as we go to break. ANGLEMANIA V 11 WEEKS AWAY Josh Matthews Fans, I am backstage with none other than THA PUERTO RICAN, who in seconds will go out to face the Heavenly Rockers in tag team action, all brought to you by the Anderson Cup. Puerto, will you have a partner? Where is Stephen Joseph Tha Puerto Rican grabs the microphone out from Josh's hands and with a shove of his right hand, shoves Josh Matthews out of the frame. Ed then raises an eyebrow, cocks his head to the side, looks into the camera, and raises the microphone above his head. Tha Puerto Rican FINALLY, Tha Puerto Rican HAS COME BACK! to HeldDown! ::The crowd cheers a bit for his carcicature. Puerto smiles and flashes some pearly whites, but instantly gets serious. TPR cont. You want to know how Stephen Joseph is? He feels like crap! Crap that he can't be here to wrestle with the Puerto Rican. Crap that I, the greatest wrestler alive, the Corporate Champion, the future of this industry, have to go out there and wrestle two men, because Axel wants to punish me for my friendship with Stephen Joseph. Axel, you may try to keep Stephen out of this ring, ::finger quotes:: medical clearances ::end quotes:: but you won't succeed. Axel, I can tell you this. Your boy Peter will get his ass WHOOPED by Stephen Joseph at AnglePalooza, and then he...and I will fight in the greatest ANGLEMANIA MOMENT ever! Friend vs. friend, not your patsy and some shmuck. As for tonight, Tha Puerto Rican is gonna do what he does each and every night, and that's WHOOP SOME CANDY ASS! And Tha Puerto Rican, and Stephen Joseph, will be back next week, to continue to run through the Anderson Cup IFFF YAAA ::Crowd yells back "SMELL!":: Puerto drops the microphone, and heads to the ring where the Heavenly Rockers have already been introduced. Cole Strong words from the Puerto Rican, but can he hold off two men? Caboose I'm really dismayed at Axel. Stephen Joseph, grrr I can't stand him, but he tried every which way possible this week to tag with Tha Puerto Rican. I don't like Puerto being out here alone. Coach That's tough! Have you even noticed your inconsistency by cheering Puerto and wanting to kill his career consultant? Caboose Piss off bugger. CUE: Know Your Role, 99 Tha Puerto Rican steps out onto the stage, pyro flashing as he holds aloft the 24/7 title belt. His reaction is excited but mixed, evidence he's gained a few fans now that Stephen Joseph has been outed from the Upstarts. Puerto throws the belt down and runs into the ring, sliding under the bottom rope and catching the Heavenly Rockers with their backs turned, with a double clothesline! DING DING DING! Synth audibly yells out a "FUCK" as he hits the ground, but Tha Puerto Rican wastes little time, pulling up Logan and tossing him into the corner. Tha Puerto Rican steps back a few steps, screams, and runs/jumps into the turnbuckle corner. BOOMSHAKALA, he hits a Stinger Splash! Logan groans in pain, and Tha Puerto Rican turns around, just in time to intercept a right hand from Synth. Puerto with a right hand to Synth's head, and Puerto then sends him with an Irish Whip to the far turnbuckle corner. Puerto looks around, and charges again. STINGER SPLASH and the crowd approves, having fun cheering on one man against two. Puerto turns around and charges towards Logan, and hits him with a Stinger Splash, And then Synth with another! Synth collapses to the ground, shadowboxing! Logan stumbles out of the corner, and right into a waiting, smelling it, jiving his feet Puerto Rican. Puerto catches him with a urange, PUERTO RICAN ROCK BOTTOM! Puerto kips right back up and stands at the head of Logan, He shakes his arms both ways, and pulls off the elbow pad, flinging it to the crowd. "THIS ONE'S FOR YOU POPPA!" With a shake of the hands Puerto runs to the rope on his left, then rebounds, jumps over Logan, and bounds off the other side, following up his momentum with the CORPORATE ELBOW! Puerto hooks the far leg and covers, with referee Nick Patrick sliding in for the cover... 1! 2! NO Synth saves with an elbow to Puerto's back. Synth pounds on Puerto as he gets up, but Puerto fights back with shots of his own. Puerto begins to back up Synth into a turnbuckle corner, and starts pounding on the noggin. Noggin pounding, not like noggin slobbin, that;s for Lita! Logan is back up and groggy, but he sees Puerto Rican not looking, so Logan thinks "Sandwich!" and charges screaming at Tha Puerto Rican. Caboose Dumbass Puerto backs away and Logan collides with Synth instead. The two fall backward in awkward fashion, a fashion well suited for movies on PPV channels, and feature you know, the kind of people Cole likes. Puerto goes for a cover! 1! 2! NO! Logan kicks out! Puerto slides over to Synth! 1! 2! NO Logan breaks up the count with an axehandle blast. And another one! Logan picks up Tha Puerto Rican and places him on the top turnbuckle. He scales the left side, and Synth gets up and scales the right side. The crowd senses it, Nick Patrick counts it, and the Hollywood Rockers send Tha Puerto Rican down to the mat with a thunderking Top Rope Double Suplex! Crowd: YEEEAAHHHH! Synth covers... 1! 2! NO! Synth yells at Logan to come on over, and he does. The grip tha Puerto Rican by his hands and whip him forward, but then pull him back, up and over their shoulders in a double-assisted flapjack! The Rockers get up and slap hands, while Puerto writhes on the mat! Synth with an axehandle blow, and Logan with another one. Cole Fans, in case you're wondering, yes, this is a handicap match by rule of General Manager Axel. The Hollywood Rockers can double team legally. Coach YES! Caboose NO! The Rockers, really, just want to advance in the tournament, and the fans know this. So they're not really booed. Then again, Puerto isn't really being booed either. Guess they have pity on him or something. Looking to end this quickly. Synth takes a groggy Puerto Rican and pulls him to the turnbuckle corner. Logan takes over from there, grabbing Puerto by the waist while Synth scales to the top rope. Logan checks out with Synth and Logan executes a perfect sit out powerbomb, followed by Synth's top rope legdrop! The crowd pops as Logan makes the cover! Cole Electric MELODY! Coach Sweet Sassy Molassy! Nick Patrick makes the count. 1! 2! PYRO! PYRO! PYRO! Everyone in the arena acts stunned at the unannounced unexpected Pyro from the main stage. Nick Patrick stops his count, Logan gets up off Puerto and stands up. The lights slowly dim, and the crowd buzzes with anticipation. CUE: Trick Daddy, Little John, and the EastSide Boyz in "Let's Go" AYE AYE AYE! The intro chords of Ozzy Osborne's "Crazy Train" meld violently into the mish mash crunk of Trick Daddy. After the Aye AYE Aye, the lights shut off, the crowd cheers, and all is black and darkness for 5 seconds. COLE What the hell is going on?! "Let's Go!" "If you want it you can get it" "LET'S GO!" Trick Daddy and Lil' Jon continue rapping as the lights pop back on. Synth and Logan, in the ring, take a step back away from the Puerto Rican. A man in a hoodie, with one arm in a sling, stands in the middle of the ring with a microphone to his lips. Stephen Joseph Y'all don't mind if I join in, do you? Synth and Logan look at each other, shrugging their shoulders, shaking their heads to say "No problem man!" Stephen Joseph pulls back the hoodie, finally everyone in the audience comes to a realization as to who it is. Tha Puerto Rican struggles to get up, and kind of hops over to SJ's side. With his good arm, Stephen Joseph slaps Puerto on the shoulder, and mouths "You knew I'd be here". Puerto nods, and after that exchange, SJ carefully takes off his hoodie, slipping it down his left arm gently, so as to not unduly hurt it, becuase its still in a sling. Stephen Joseph looks to the crowd, and flings the hoodie into the third row, right near a cute girl who eventually flirts her way to getting it. Stephen Joseph smiles, and pulls the microphone to his lips Stephen Joseph (to the crowd) Y'all don't mind if we make this a tag team match do ya? Stephen puts the cheap thumbs up Mick Foley sign, and the crowd can't help but pop. A few fans are noticing his t-shirt, a white shirt with "Fuck Me?" on the front. and "No, no, Fuck YOU!" on the back. The crowd doesn't mind, the Hollywood Rockers don't seem to mind, so Nick Patrick says "Sure, What the hell" and tells the ring announcer something Ring Announcer Ladies and Gentleman, this match is now a .. CCZZHHHTREHEHHH Axel HEY HEY HEY HEY ::The crowd massively boos as Axel walks out with Behemoth and Christian Wright backing him up. Wait just a minute Popick! You aren't medically cleared to wrestle tonight! You aren't cleared to wrestle till AnglePalooza! Stephen Joseph Wait...hold on a minute Axel. I've got something for you. I know you being the the General Manager and all, you want to send the OAOAST to new heights! You're the kingpin of the Upstarts, and all that jazz. You know how I feel about that Axel? One Thousand Words couldn't express how I feel, but one picture can! ::Stephen Joseph pulls off his white t-shirt, revealing another plain white t-shirt that simply reads "Fuck You Axel!":: Stephen Joseph Do you like that one, huh buddy? Axel Stephen, I am telling you that you can't... Stephen Joseph Oh yeah, almost forgot, this is for your buddies. ::Stephen Joseph pulls off the Axel T-shirt, and flings it into the crowd, revealing another shirt "Fuck the Upstarts!":: Stephen Joseph I was the only piece of god damn talent you jagoffs had. And you had to go and piss on me and my title legacy like R. Kelly does to children. For shame! Maybe I should just whip it out, I got a powerful stream, see how your boys like it! Axel God Dammit Stephen. Get out of MY ring. Stephen Joseph Oh wait, I almost forgot. I had to save the best shirt for last! ::Stephen Joseph pulls off his Upstarts t-shirt, and looks over to Sofa Central. "Hey Caboose, sorry about all that. This is up your alley" says SJ as he tosses the shirt to the Originals commentator. Coach looks on fuming! and he stands up with shock at Stephen's next shirt. Stephen Joseph I hope this isn't too NC-17 for you. I got it off a fan site. ::The fans whoot and cheer, even Synth and Logan can't help but laugh. On the front with a huge picture of an Angry Vince McMahon, is the word "RAW". On the back, a superimpose imaged of Peter Knight leaning on a desk with an Angry Vince McMahon, sweaty and all that, in an very obviously sexually suggestive pose:: Axel Get out of that ring or I will have you disqualified! Logan Hey :: grabbing SJ's mic:: We WANT to wrestle him. If we beat him, we beat a former champion, and that means! Axel Shut up you goddamn HIPPIE! Stephen Joseph (taking the mic back) Whoa! Axel, you'll have me disqualified? And what then? Deny me my match at AnglePalooza. You can't do that. Axel, you've got alot to learn about screwing people here in the OAOAST. I'm the butch and you're just the BITCH. Synth and Logan want to wrestle. The crowd wants to see the match. ::Crowd pops:: And most importantly, you and Peter Knight (boos) have managed to do the one thing that I never though possible. You know what that is? You've put the crowd solidly behind ME at AnglePalooza, because hey, at least I never lied about where I stand. And I'd like to make one thing perfectly clear before we restart this match. 1 ::holds out a finger:: You're an asshole. 2. You're an asshole. and 3. I promised I wouldn't tell anyone this, but your two buddies back there, definitely are assholes too. Definitely. Let's wrestle, because that's what I'm paid to do. Axel NO! This match is over! You cannot wrestle without a medical clearance,and if you insist on doing so, I must for the good of this company not allow it! Go home Stephen. No one wants or cares about you. If you touch Logan or Synth... Stephen Joseph goes over and pokes Logan, who pokes back, laughing. Stephen Joseph I touched him. Axel And now you're DISQUALIFIED! Ladies and Gentleman, your winners, the Heavenly Rockers! The crowd is a mixture of boos at Axel for being an ass, and cheers for the Rockers to be going on in the tournament. Stephen looks over at Tha Puerto Rican, mouthing the word, sorry, when Logan comes up and pulls SJ around. COACH OH YEAH! But instead, Logan puts out his hand. Stephen Joseph looks at it, and after a moment, shakes it! The crowd cheers, and Logan says "We'll do this again sometime proper." The HR's music kicks up as they raise their arms to the crowd and exit the ring. COLE Well, Stephen Joseph certainly is flaunting his displeasure at being essentially kicked to the curb by the Upstarts. COACH He deserved it! No talent jackass deserved it. PK's gonna tear him apart at AnglePalooza! CABOOSE Man, I'm in a catch-22 situation here. I don't want Knight to hold that title...but, as much as I appreciate this gift from him, I really don't want Popick to beat him for it either. I'm going to have to think about this. COLE Well, let's take a break then. Our second Anderson Cup match is our main event tonight, and it is NEXT! Commercial break Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted January 13, 2006 (edited) COLE Welcome back fans to another installment of the OAOAST's Thursday Night Tradition. Already on HeldDOWN~! tonight we've had one Anderson Cup match and now it's time for... "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" COACH What are they...HEY! HEY! What's he doing out here? The camera pulls away from Sofa Central, and focuses in on the figure coming down the ramp. An irate Zack Malibu has made his way out to the arena to the surprise of many, and he immediately rounds the ring and takes the mic from Michael Buffer. Zack blows past Sofa Central, giving the evil eye to Coach before climbing up into the ring, amidst cheers from the masses. COACH Did you see the look he just gave me? Does he know who I am? CABOOSE I'm pretty sure that's why he gave it to you. You should be thankful you got off with just a look. In the ring, Zack paces for a moment, and holds his hand up to quell the ruckus from the crowd, as the world knows he has a lot to get off his chest. MALIBU You all know why I'm out here, everyone in the back knows why I'm out here, so I'm cutting right to the chase. Axel, Peter Knight, get your asses out here RIGHT NOW! The crowd roars, and all eyes are on the entranceway, but nothing. MALIBU No, don't bother getting psyched up people, see, they're not coming out here. Why would they? They're not going to strike when I know it's coming, oh no. No, they have to pick their spot. Well, kudos go out to both of you, because you truly had me last week. For months, we've been wondering who it's been, but nobody could figure it out. The revolving door of "leading men" so to speak kep throwing us off course, until you were finally able to get what you wanted, Axel. You managed to pull off a major power play, and inserted yourself into the GM position, and then let the cat out of the bag. Pretty crafty. And Peter, Peter Knight. A man that I tried to took under my wing and tried to light a fire under his ass, only to have my blood spilt on this canvas as his thanks. Congratulations, you two, you've both gotten what you've wanted. Malibu pauses, taking a deep breath. COLE This is...I mean, he's giving them CREDIT for all of the actions of The Upstarts, and for their treason last week? CABOOSE Let him finish. MALIBU Well, you two may have what you want, but let me tell you something. Now you've also got to deal with something you DON'T want, and he's standing here in the ring. COACH HA! Oh please, he had his ass handed to him last week! MALIBU You think I'm a pushover? You think that the shots you got in last week were enough to put me to rest? Then let me tell you two something. For MONTHS, I have done everything in my power to stand up to this revolution. I have sacrificed my body, I have teamed with a man who broke my girlfriend's neck...I have done it all, not for myself, but for this COMPANY. The same company that you're trying to eliminate, and start painting on a blank canvas with. The thing is, your power comes in NAME ONLY, Axel. You think this company strives on a General Manger position, or on the man holding the World Title? Both very important to the foundation of the company, but it doesn't end there. This company runs on HEART and SOUL. On blood, sweat, and tears, all of which have been spilt to provide a home for some of the best talent in the world. Do you think that this grand scheme is going to be enough? I'm not the only one you've pissed off, but I know I'm your main target. Go ahead, tell me otherwise. Tell me I'm making this "all about me" again, but from DAY ONE, it's always been about me? Why? Not because I'm a former World Champion. Not because I'm the poster boy of this company. It's because I'M THE ONE WHO WILL NOT LET IT DIE. When Anglesault vanished into thin air, who was the torch passed to? ME! And do you know why? Because that man, hate him or love him, knew that I had it in me to do what was best for this place. When that man, Caboose, right there, was forced out of here against his will, and became jaded to wrestling in general, who was it who brought him back? Who opened his eyes to show him he was a force, an integral part of the machine, that will always be needed? ME! You see, your "victory" is going to be bittersweet, gentlemen, because history has proven that I'm at my best when my back is against the wall. So I'm not daring you, I'm ASKING YOU, to do your worst. Beat me down. Bloody me. Break my bones. Piss on me like you did to the OAOAST banner. Do whatever you think you need to do to get rid of me once and for all, because once you do, I'm going to come back. Again, and again, stronger and stronger every single time. In fact, come out here right now...come on out... Zack exits the ring and brushes Michael Buffer out of his chair, then folds it up and throws it into the ring before climbing back in. MALIBU C'mon Axel! C'mon Knight! Come out here, split me open with this chair! It's right here for you! Come on, Peter, come lay me out with that World Title belt! My blood went into the history of that belt, so how about putting some more on it, huh? You want my blood? Come on! Come out here and get me! Zack rolls out of the ring in his rampage, and goes and climbs up on the commentator's table. COACH What the hell... COLE Caboose, he's lost it. CABOOSE And rightfully so. MALIBU COME OUT HERE! C'MON AXEL! PUT ME THROUGH THIS TABLE! WATCH MY BODY BREAK! MAKE ME BLEED! COACH You know, if he keeps asking for it, he just might get it! Zack hops down and rolls back into the ring, still clutching the mic. MALIBU You have asked for this. All of you, for all you've done, have brought this upon yourselves. Do whatever you want to do, anything you think you CAN do. Because for every time I bleed, for every bone I break, I will get you back tenfold. Popick's usually the relgious one, but let me tell you something...vengeance will fall upon you, and redemption is inevitable. As far as I'm concered, Upstarts, you're nothing but the walking dead! Whether your name is Scotty Static, Christian Wright, Bohemoth, Johnny Jax, Jamie O'Hara, or HOFF, you are all marked men! After what all of you have done...and you Hoff, especially, choose to show your face here after you shat on the legacy of the championship that so many of us have worn proudly? Do you think that because the winds of change have swept through for a mere seven days that things are different? None of you...NONE OF YOU, have any respect for what has made you. Even during my darkest days, it was about THE COMPANY. Now...now it's not just the company. Now it's not just a Civil War. Now, until the day I pick you all off, one by one, it's personal! With that, Zack throws his mic down and storms up the ramp, back to the locker room area, leaving an arena of speechless fans behind, as we fade to black. It's AnglePalooza 2006! The first OAOAST pay-per-view of 2006! Featuring: Peter Knight versus Stephen Joseph in an I Quit match for the OAOAST World Championship AND the Lethal Rumble; 30 men in one ring for one shot at glory in the main event of AngleMania V Sunday, January 29th ONLY on Pay-Per-View! The somber guitar strands that mark the opening of Lindsay Lohan's version of Edge of Seventeen leak through the speakers. The sold out crowd emits a full throated roar of anticipation for the beloved wrestler who's soon to grace their meager presence. As soon as the roar dies down, a golden pyro explosion engulfs the entirety of the entrance stage. The cheers begin anew, matching the increased volume of the song. Krista Isaodra Duncan strolls out on the stage, outfitted in a highly fashionable sleeveless denim vest, and a sexy pair of granite colored low rise flared jeans. Shortly after her arrival, she's joined by teen screams, the Sk8er Boiz! The handsome twins spring to life, speeding across the stage, and tossing punches at phantom foes. No doubt the energetic display is caused by the NRG protein shakes they consumed shortly before entering the arena floor, and the NRG jogging suits they currently wear. COACH These fools are making a mockery out of the name NRG. The NRGetic siblings take off to the ring at full speed, slapping hands with the mass of young girls who have pushed their way to the front of the barricades in hopes of being able to touch the youthful hunks. COLE Neither of these three are involved in a match tonight, but Marv and Mel sure are acting like they are! I suppose the boys are out here as a favor to Krista, who they credit with turning their lives around and getting them into shape. The hyperactive boys run a full lap around the squared circle, chanting N-R-G as they do so. After that, they both enter the ring, scaling to opposite turnbuckles, boasting smiles an ocean wide. Moving in perfect concert, they rip off their sweatshirts, toss them overhead, and pose for the glut of screaming teenage girls. COLE The Sk8er Boiz, despite what their outfits might lead you to believe are not very popular men in the NRG camp. Those two teams will face off in the final first round match of the 2006 Anderson Cup. The men, who are at their wits end with the roaring fangirls, are thankfully blessed with something to cheer for, as Krista Isadora Duncan enters the ring. The ultra popular blonde bombshell is given a microphone by a helpful ringside attendant. Our camera man providies a decent look at the ring, which has been extravagantly decorated with various trophies, and awards, that rest within gorgeous wooden cases. Upon closer inspection each honor seems to belong to Krista Isadora Duncan. “K-I-D! K-I-D! K-I-D!” KRISTA Friends, Romans, Countrymen, get out your Dutch Masters, your Phillys, pour some of that Alize, grab a pint of Hennessy, lean back, close your eyes and prepare yourself to take a spellbinding journey through the macabre theater that is my mind, as I will treat all of you to my opinion on the recently passed Angle Awards. Now I'm not deaf, although living in the same house as Alix sometimes makes me wish I was. So I hear the whispers, and the insinuations that I'm bitter that Alix won female wrestler of the year and I didn't. Bitter? Me? Krista Isadora Duncan? Never! I'm honestly happy for Alix. I'm truthfully very glad that she won. But.... “ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!” KRISTA How are we supposed to keep young girls off drugs now? Don't do drugs, Lindsay, you'll never amount to anything. Uh-uh, I can be OAOAST female wrestler of the year! See? When society looks like something out of Mad Max, we can point to this result as the reason why! Anyway, I did a quick scan of my fellow losers, and I have to ask who the hell are these other girls in this fed? Where on earth did they come from? Is the OAOAST owned by Rumpelstiltskin? Did he just buy these girls when they were babies, and decided the summer of 2005 would be a good time to collect? Did some talent scout just grab a group of girls getting off their shift at the glory hole at the local Exxon's bathroom, and offer them a contract? If we're going to compare ourselves to Stevie Wonder songs, I'm My Cheri Amour, the rest of these personality deficient chicks are Don't Drive Drunk. Now if you take the “don't” out of that song's title and add “into a brick wall at eighty miles per hour” you get exactly what I suggest Jim Cornette do. COACH That's no way to talk about a pro wrestling icon. KRISTA Jimmy, I highly recommend you go to down to the nearest gas station and purchase a lottery ticket, because right now you're riding a lucky streak. You are ridiculously lucky that I am in such a jovial mood. Because if you ran your mouth like you did earlier tonight on any other Thursday, you wouldn't have a chance of being able to feed yourself the next day. I'd shove my foot so far up your ass, you'd have to brush your teeth with Sport Magic shoe cleaner. But as it stands, I'm going to calmly put you in your place and then I'm going to be done with you. You are an insignificant, hateful, little gnome. You matter as much to me as the fly that recently went splat on my Porsche's windshield. But if you insist on bringing my daughter up in your mundane sleep inducing promos, you two will go splat all over my windshield. I will run you down, until there is nothing left but your big fat donkey lips. There is something you need to understand, old man river, my daughter is not a wrestler, she is not part of this company, she is an innocent five year old girl. And if you're so desperate to get heat that you have bring her up, then why don't you do us all a favor and get that heat by throwing yourself into a blazing fire? Jimmy, you said I suck Ned dry? Oh, how wrong you are, mon ami. Unlike you with Simon on the weekend, catcher is one position I never play. I'd say Ned sucked me dry, but that would imply that he actually managed to get me wet in the first place. “OOOOOH!” Says the crowd in response to the dis. KRISTA Jamie, ask Ned who paid for the food on his table when we dated, ask Ned who put him through school when we dated, ask Ned who gave him a place to live while we dated, ask Ned why when I was meeting with my publisher for royalty payments, he was meeting with Ford because he's made no payments for twelve months. COACH There's no need to drag the man's good name through the mud by insinuating that he has bad credit! KRISTA But, Jimmy, if you want to see who's the true leech, feast your eyes on a mirror and get a good look before your ugliness cracks it. I've said this before, but it's worth repeating, there is not a single ounce of talent within the confines of your flabby body. You have no actual ability or skills of your own to do anything great or memorable. So like some kind of seedy predator, you prey upon those who do have the requisite talent but lack the requisite intelligence to know that you're full of shit. And when your charges do finally achieve something, you plant it into their heads that you, not their god given ability, had something to do with it. Then they come to depend on you. They start to think that they can't live without you, when the truth is very much the opposite. You are nothing but a glorified, legalized pimp. You are the lowest form of gold digging, blood sucking, parasite. I hated you the day I met you, and I will hate you until the day I die. You exist solely so that we have someone to point to and say "That guy! He's an asshole. We shouldn't be like him." In any other profession, your name wouldn't be worth the cheap JC Penny bought suit on your back, you'd be scorned as a contemptible villain, and would probably be facing years of a jail time. But in the land of pro wrestling where everything and everyone works under some assbackwards logic, you're heralded as a brilliant mind and awarded with numerous title shots and accolades. Maybe Ned's too dumb to realize he's basically been turned into your ho or maybe he's too proud to admit it to himself. Either way, I'm done caring about the Handsome Hustler. Because I don't know him. I only know Ned Blanchard, and you, Jim Cornette, and this horrible sport of professional wrestling, killed him in front of my very eyes. I watched him die and for that I wish you nothing but bad luck, Jimmy. I hope your remaining days on this earth are spent in misery and in suffering. Goodnight, James. COLE Harsh words for a man who dearly deserves them. KRISTA Okay back to funny Krista. I'm sure you're all wondering exactly why I'm out here besides to kill time until those wrestlers who have storylines and feuds, and interesting angles and things I'll never get again because the company hates me, are ready to come out. Well, I'm out here for a squash match. While I know we have more squash on HeldDOWN then your grocery store's produce aisle, I promise that my squash will actually, gasp, be deliciously entertaining. MEL That's your cue to gasp, dudes. “GASP!” says the crowd. I mean they actually said the word gasp, they didn't just make the noise. KRISTA Thank you. Why will my match be entertaining? Because if you consider how piss poor everything else on this sinking ship of show is, then a skit with me burping You're no Good would look like a recitation of A Mid Summer Night's dream by Al Pacino in comparison. But it's also entertaining because my squash has a name, Beat the unbeatable woman! And it also has the finest set the illegal immigrants I smuggled into the country can build. Take that, MinuteMen Border Patrol! All that makes this the single most entertaining match in HeldDOWN's short and depressing history. Unless this is being taped for some new b-show I was unaware of. In which case, I know I've been the victim of a considerable depush since I made the horrible mistake of returning, but I never thought it would get this bad. Well, at least my squash has a graphic. Show them the graphic! KRISTA I paid a grad student from USC seven hundred dollars for that. I suppose I should explain the exact details of Beat The Unbeatable Woman. So for those of you who seem to be of the short bus, window licking variety, I'm talking to you Coachman, get ready, cinch up those chinstraps, and try to wrap your feeble minds around this hot concept. COLE (fastening the chinstrap on his helmet) I've got mine extra tight! KRISTA Now seeing that we'll probably see The South Central Militia have a good match before we witness another OAOAST wrestler beat me, I've been forced to go outside of the company's usual cast of lower midcarders the glass ceiling forces me to fight, to get someone to wrestle. Thus Beat the Unbeatable Woman evades the coathanger, escapes the demonic confines of the womb, and is born on national television! Beat the Unbeatable Woman offers a chance for you, the average Joe, to come down from the overpriced seats and get into this safety hazard of a ring to wrestle me, and gain fifteen minutes of minuscule to moderate fame and acquire a modicum of self respect. Self respect I might add that will shortly be lost when you come home to an FBI raid, cameras from the evening news, and fresh accusations of cyber pedophilla from the district attorney. "LOL I'll pretend you said 18" indeed! MARV LOL I'll pretend you said don't drop the soap! KRISTA With that said, I shall work the marks by scanning the audience for a volunteer when in actuality my opponent has already been selected for me hours ago. The magic of pro wrestling! So who wants in on this pointless skit? (Despite what Krista just said, eager fans across the venue foist their arms into the air, praying that she'll select them.) KRISTA You're all still raising your hands even though I just told you this was all a farce and my opponent was predetermined. I'd like to punch you all in the face, but obviously I don't possess the time required to do such action. So, why don't you punch yourselves for me...You're actually doing it. Stop punching yourselves! (Marv and Mel prove their presence in this skit isn't totally pointless by cruising around the ring, scanning the typical assortment of bums, derelicts, delinquents, and vagabonds that make up an OAOAST audience) MEL (pointing to a woman(?) who looks exactly like John Leguizamo's character in To Wong Foo, Thanks for everything Julie Newmar) Hey, Kris. How about this chick? KRISTA I don't wrestle women, and this is an exercise to reaffirm that men are property to me, not people. COACH I'll be your property! Pick me! (Krissy's baby blue eyes lock onto a particularly pathetic individual, and it's not Coach. This sad soul is bedecked in a Samoa Joe t-shirt that's ornamented with beer stains, and wears a pair of Pittsburgh Steelers sweatpants that sag low to reveal the mortifying golden forest of ass hair that pours from his sweat soaked BUTT crack.) KRISTA Honestly, I was going to fight some guy from Calgary. I think his name was Brent, Burt, Bret? Bret, that was it. What did he call himself? The Hitman? I don't know. I've never heard of him. And if I've never heard of him, how good can he be? This here feller looks like a fine critter! Sorry Hitman, you can hit the road! And you, my good fellow, can come on down! (The portly porker, with the assistance of few musclebound security guards, climbs over the guardrail to a tepid round of applause. Bursting with the energy, the man, who looks to be in his mid thirties, attempts to enter the venerated squared circle. Problematically, he encounters a great deal of difficulty in fitting his round body through the ring ropes. While the audience laughs at his misfortune, Krista shakes her head in sorrow and regret.) KRISTA Good lord. Change the channel, people. No good can come of this. I'd change the channel, but alas I have to live this nightmare. I'd squeeze the trigger, hit the power button, and put the whole world on mute. Hey, he got in the ring! Fantastic. Thoughts of suicide still present but are subsiding. Sir, how are you? If I looked like you, I'd be doing terrible. But, perhaps you haven't been able to look in mirror today, and have forgotten that your very visage reaffirms that there is no God, so tell me how are you? MAN (gobs of spit flying from his mouth as he speaks) DA KING IS TALKING! GO STEELERS! HELL YEAH, BABY! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! KRISTA You, sir, sound like a gentlemen and a scholar! So, what's your name? It's not important. I'll call you Sweet Lou. Sweet Lou, I can tell from the gap in your yellow teeth big enough to ram a tractor through, the noticeable bald spot in your thinning hair, and your Samoa Joe t-shirt, that you, my good man, have quite the way with the ladies. Because nothing says Casanova like a fat Samoan with tits. So on this fine Thursday night, instead of taking a dip into your veritable swimming pool of gorgeous vagina, you've chosen to partake in man's favorite activity, watching other men (or men who look like women in Johnny Jax's case) lathered up in baby oil, grope each other, as they emit vaguely orgasmic grunts while participating in a staged athletic contest with not so subtle homoerotic overtones. SWEET LOU STEELERS! WHOO! WOOF! WOOF! “BOOOOOOO!” goes the audience, obviously not fans of the Steelers. MEL Dude, up your dosage. KRISTA This segment is even worse then I envisioned. It could be worse, I could be getting a MILF chant... SWEET LOU MILF! MILF! MILF! KRISTA Thank you for reminding me that I'm 34 years old. Hopefully I can one day repay you with a similar kindness, such as a repeatedly stabbing you in the throat. Anyway, Louis you've been given a chance of a lifetime. You're being asked to participate in the first ever, and if anyone around here has some common sense, the last ever Beat the Unbeatable woman. When you return back to your job at Rite Aid, where you hit on the seventeen year old stock girl who's shirt rides up whenever she restocks the shelves, you can return to your pending sexual harassment lawsuit with pride and honor. And when the manager, who's banging your wife behind your back while your kid is forced to watch from the bathroom, fires you for snorting coke in the loading dock, you can hold your misshapen head high when you say “Screw you, man! I wrestled that Suzanne Summers chick up there on that them there TV! You don't fire me, I fire you. I'll suck you off for some smack.” SWEET LOU WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! KRISTA We all know who your favorite football team is, thanks to the fact that you have even less brain cells then Joe Paterno and thus are incapable of forming a semi-intelligent thought, but you've gotta tell me, Louie-Louie-oh no said we gotta go, who's your favorite wrassler? (Louis takes a moment to mull over this life altering query) SWEET LOU THE HANDSOME HUSTLER! “OOOOOOOH!” go the fans, who realize that Sweet Lou talked himself right into a sweet ass kicking. Gone is Krista's self deprecating comedic act. In it's place returns the all too familiar "angry at the world" attitude that's characterized her for so long. She explodes at Louis, who's too dense to comprehend why his face is about to be torn like meat within the jaws of a starved canine. His legs are ripped from under him, and he's sent to the mat where he's quickly mounted by the bloodthirsty woman. Growling, Krista scores with brutal, crowd popping punches to the overmatched pugilist's noggin. A picturesque melody of right crosses and left hooks sever the poor fellow's pasty white skin. Finally the nearby referee decides he's seen enough barbarity for one evening and calls for the bell while Sweet Lou is still able to eat food without the aid of a straw. BUFFER Your winner, improving her record to a stunning thirty one wins and three losses, the Unbeatable Woman, Krista Isadora Duncan! Feeling a tinge of sympathy for Sweet Lou, or what remains of Sweet Lou, the Boiz make an attempt to remove Kris from her prey. After a hellacious effort, they manage to separate her from her battered enemy. Mel holds her by the waist, making her swear on her grave that she won't try anything if he lets her go free. Marv tries to talk her down, no small task thanks to her stubborn and perpetually volatile personality. Letting a cooler head prevail, Krista passionately promises the twins that she'll conduct herself like a resonable woman. Although he doesn't entirely believe her, Mel uneasily breaks his grip. Surprisingly, Krista doesn't affirm his understandable fears, and leaves the ring without further incident. COLE Sweet Lou we hardly knew ye. Our main event is next! Really, I mean it this time. Commercial break Edited January 13, 2006 by Patty O'Green Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted January 13, 2006 As we return, we are backstage and Zack Malibu is kicking in doors, looking for the Upstarts. Fuming and madly angry, he pounds his first against the walls. MAN That really doesn't help much you know. MALIBU (turning around) YOU! MAN Yeah, me. The camera pans around to show Stephen Joseph w/ his anti-Upstarts t-shirt and black duffel bag. Stephen Joseph I was just heading out. Don't bother with them now, you don't have the advantage. Zack Malibu Like I would ever, ever listen to you. Stephen Joseph Let me ask you something Zack. Are you completely sinless? ::Zack looks a little shocked at this. "Not this religion stuff..." Stephen Joseph No no...You remember, 2 years ago. You. Me. Title Match? I had it won, you used the belt, got yourself disqualified? Remember that? Zack Malibu Can't say I'm sorry about it. Stephen Joseph Can't say I forgive it. But after being the World Champion, I understand why you did it. Anyways, since you're all about finding who's side people are on, thought I'd just make my stance perfectly clear. Zack Malibu You're looking out for yourself, and the Lightning Crew, and Puerto, and no one else...Blah Blah Blah Stephen Joseph Not quite. Well, yeah, I am just looking out for me and Puerto, but also, the enemy of my enemy is my friend, right? So just to let you know, I want nothing more than to get back at Axel, at Peter Knight, and every single Upstart for making me look like a damn fool. Zack Malibu I'm not shaking your hand. Stephen Joseph I'm not expecting you too. Just don't go attacking me when I run in to save your ass when you get yourself into a bad situation. Zack Malibu I'm not worried about that. I can take care of that. Stephen Joseph Sure you can. Anyways, cheerio good chap. ::Stephen Joseph walks away with Zack standing there. Over his shoulder, Stephen says SJ Oh, they're room 4269. That's two hallways down, one over, on your left. Zack looks at the back of Joseph as he takes his leave and then looks in the direction SJ indicated. He takes a step but pauses, taking a few deap breaths and appearing to calm down. ZACK No, not tonight. But their time is coming. Zack walks out of frame and we return to the arena. The camera cuts straight to the shot of the evening: Hoff, the former OAOAST World Champion, sitting in the third row. Hoff finishes his sip of Dasani© bottled water and smiles at the cameraman as dozens of fans try valiantly to get in the shot. COLE There we see again, the proverbial man of the hour, Hoff, sitting in the crowd, and fans we still don't know just why Hoff is here tonight. CABOOSE I'll tell you one thing. Zack Malibu, love him or hate him, was right when he said that Hoff doesn't belong here anymore. He disgraced the world title, he-- COACH Boo-boo, please, okay? Hoff left here saying that he wasn't fit to wear the OAOAST Championship, which may I remind you is in the hands of the oh-so-capable Peter Knght, not the other way around! Playa just didn't have it in him. CABOOSE Bulls***. In this business, as we wrestlers know, you either live and breathe for it, or you don't belong. COACH Well if you don't want him, I'm sure Mr. Axel would love to have him. CABOOSE Yeah, well, you can take him. COLE Of course Hoff and Axel go way back, you've got to wonder if the new GM will stick his nose out here! In any event, it's time for our main event of the evening. In another Anderson Cup first round match we have the number one seed in the MWC bracket, Black T going against the eight seed James Blonde and Faqu, who return to the OAOAST for the first time in months. DING! DING! DING! The ringbell sounds to gain the attention of the fans, as we are ready for our next contest on HeldDOWN~! Ring announcer extraordinaire Michael Buffer is already in the ring, ready to do his thing, so let's take it to him! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest, set for one fall, is an opening round contest in the Anderson Cup! "Quiet" hits immediately following Buffer's proclomation, and it signifies the entrace of the former OAOAST World Tag Team Champions, and two of the Originals. BUFFER Introducing first, weighing in at a combined weight of five hundred, twenty six pounds, they are the former OAOAST World Tag Team Champions. Tony Brannigan, Dan Black...BLACK T! Brannigan and Black, two of the most dangerous competitors in company history, hit the ring ready for action. Despite their tendencies (Black's especially), the duo gets a respectable amount of cheers from the crowd as they hit the ring. Once their music fades, the sound of "My Own Summer" by The Deftones hits, and it's a new theme for two old faces, back once again to ply their trade on HeldDOWN~! BUFFER Their opponents, weighing in tonight at five hundred, twenty three pounds, this is the team of "Strong Stylin'" JAMES BLONDE, and "The Samoan Tsunami", FAQU! The pair, who started off their careers hating one another, yet stuck together realizing they made quite the team, hit the ring with their "new look", as Blonde now wears long red tights with a black tribal design down the leg, black kneepads, and black boots. Faqu now sports semi-short tights, white with a wave design to reflect his Samoan Tsunami nickname. The team, who has spent much time in Japan working for the HI-YAH promotion, enter the ring and standoff with Black T, who look ready, yet unimpressed with the rejuvenated duo. COLE This should be an interesting contest. We haven't seen Blonde or Faqu for some time, but we do know that they are staples of the HI-YAH promotion over in Japan. COACH Sometimes people need a change of scenery to refresh themselves. Nobody gave these two any credit four years ago when they couldn't get past Mario Logan levels of usefulness, but here they are in the Anderson Cup. Dan Black, an international superstar in his own right, opts to start things out for Black T. James Blonde lets his partner off the hook and starts out for his team, and three dings later the match is underway! Collar and elbow tieup in the middle, and Blonde shows a decisive strength advantage by forcing Black back, pushing him into the corner. Referee Charles Robinson immediately calls for a break, and Blonde does, backing away slowly while Black keeps both eyes zoned in on him. Blonde smirks and waves Black towards him, and the two lock up again, and once again Blonde forces Dan Black back to the corner, then breaks and backs away smirking! CABOOSE OK, are we gonna wrestle here, or what? COACH Man, I think my batshot last week made you MORE bitter. CABOOSE Yeah, but then you run to your buddy Axel to have the imaginary handcuffs thrown on me to protect your ass. COACH Hey, if you need to earn a living so bad, play by the rules, playa. Inside the ring, Black sneers at the cocky look on Blonde's face, and ties up with him again, but as Blonde starts forcing him backwards towards the corner, Dan drops out of the lockup and puts him on his back with a double leg takedown! Black then mounts the upper body of Blonde and starts clubbing at him with forearm shots before deciding to break, and bring Blonde up to his feet. An Irish whip to the ropes sends Blonde bouncing back towards Black, who drops his head and then throws the international star up and over with a high elevation back bodydrop! Blonde squirms as he comes up off the canvas, not noticing Black crouched in the ready position behind him. Blonde staggers to his feet and spins around, right into a kick to the gut...BLACKOUT...NO! Blonde pushes Black away and does the stop, drop and roll routine, right out to the floor! COACH Good man, good thinking! Props to James Blonde! COLE Props for running away? Blonde runs his hand through his hair and backpedals around ringside, but when he turns the corner he's floored by a running lariat from Tony Brannigan, who picks him up and throws him back into the ring! The crowd lets Tony know they approve of the move, while Blonde is both stunned and angered as he comes to his feet. COLE I don't think that this is the week that James Blonde is going to want to take Dan Black and Tony Brannigan lightly. COACH Timing is everything, Cole. Their minds are so warped with what's going on in the company that mentally, they're not prepared to face this duo of Blonde and Faqu. Upset city right here, I'm callin' it! CABOOSE Kind of like the GPX and the Diablos last week, right Coach? Blonde shouts over the ropes at Brannigan, but that's put to a stop when Dan Black swings Blonde around and connects with a hard chop. And another! And another! Black fires him towards the ropes, but it gets reversed, and it's Black who gets sent in. Blonde tucks his head for a back bodydrop, but Black puts on the brakes and yanks on Blonde's hair, sending him down to the canvas on his back! Black then goes and takes his legs, pulling them apart, and then delivers a hard stomp to the wide open midsection, causing Blonde to curl up in agony! Black then goes and tags in Brannigan, who gets right to work, pulling Blonde up and applying a side headlock. COLE The former World Heavyweight Champion is now the legal man, and so far Black T has looked as dominant as ever, here in this Anderson Cup bout. Tony wrenches the head of Blonde, but is eventually shoved to the ropes. The weary Blonde drops to his stomach, but Tony leaps over him and runs to the far side...but as he rebounds Blonde swings his body around, rolling from his stomach onto his side and sweeping both of Tony's legs out from under him! Blonde gets to his feet, then jumps onto Tony's chest, driving both feet into it with a stomp, and then tags in the big man, Faqu. COACH Oooooh boy, this could get interesting. The Samoan Tsunami steps through the ropes slowly, eyeing Brannigan the whole way. Tony rises to his feet clutching his chest, no doubt angered at being stomped on. Faqu offers an evil sneer towards his opponent, and the two circle the ring before tying up...although they don't get that far, as when Tony throws his arms up, Faqu connects with a roundhouse kick to the ribs! Faqu then tilts Tony's head back and brings his open palm down across his with a chop that staggers Brannigan! The large Samoan then scoops Tony up...but before he's slammed the canvas Brannigan slips free, then turns Faqu around and levels the 290 pounder with a scoop slam! COLE Thunderous slam by Brannigan! Faqu rolls to his feet almost immediately, fighting off the effects of that slam, when Brannigan bounces off the ropes and nails him with a running kneelift! Brannigan hits the ropes again, but this time runs right into a side savate kick from the Samoan Tsunami (c'mon, TRY to say that three times fast), and the resulting impact turns him around as he staggers towards the ropes...where Blonde takes him by the head and drops his throat on the top rope! Brannigan then reels backwards, right into the waiting arms of Faqu, who hoists him overhead and drops him on the back of his neck with a release German suplex! The big man then gets up and charges to the ropes, coming off with a BIG SPLASH~! that drives the wind out of Tony's body, and resulst in Blonde and Faqu making the first pin attempt of the contest! ONE! T-KICKOUT! CABOOSE The first pinfall didn't go so well for Blonde and Faqu, but the very idea that this team, at one time relegated to lowercard matches, have come so far in recent years that they can hang with Black T and be entered into this tournament is a testament to their abilities. Faqu pries Tony off the canvas and immediately whips him to the corner, but when the big man charges in, Tony kicks both feet up into his chest, driving him back! Tony bursts forward with a lariat, but Faqu ducks it, and when Tony turns back around, he's grabbed in a hug (but not an affectionate one, oh no) and laid out with a belly to belly suplex! Faqu drags Tony towards the ropes and tags in Blonde, who slingshots over the ropes at the same ti the huge Samoan star hits a STANDING MOONSAULT, and together they land on Brannigan with tremendous impact! COLE AMAZING! A near 300 pound man with that agility is a force to be reckoned with! Blonde covers, hooking the leg... ONE! TW-NO! Black runs in and hits a boot to the head of the Strong Stylin' Superstar, breaking up the pin! COACH See, now this match would be over, but in typical Original fashion... CABOOSE ...typical ORIGINAL fashion? As if you and The Upstarts haven't... COACH Uh uh, 'boose. Remember, show an unbiased effort, or those checks you bring home are going to stop. The blackmailed broadcaster hushes up, but it's against his will, as Blonde gets up and complains to the referee about Black's involvement. Blonde turns his attention from Robinson back to Brannigan, but is caught by the veteran with a fireman's carry that dumps him on his back! As Blonde gets up, Tony goes up with him, and takes him by the wrist, then follows up with an arm wrench, and finally, a hard chop that echoes throughout the building! Blonde reels, then fires back with one of his own, equally as hard...so Tony fires back with a right hand that drops the blonde bomber! Blonde staggers to his feet, right into an inverted atomic drop, and then is taken over with a snap suplex, complete with Tony rolling over into a cover on Blonde! ONE! TW-KICKOUT! COLE Tony looking to put the duo of Blonde and Faqu away, but it's not as easy as he may have thought. Tony pulls Blonde up and rocks him with another suplex, and then tags in Black, who steps through the ropes and starts putting the boots to Blonde. He hoists him up and sends him to the ropes, and Blonde rebounds right into a back elbow, then gets hooked by the waist and dumped on his head with a quick back suplex! Black pulls him up and fires off a pair of forearms to the back of the neck, then shoves Blonde to the ropes again and tries a hiptoss, but Blonde prevents himself from being tossed over, strikes Black with a knee to the gut, and hits a double underhook release suplex that sends Black across the ring! COACH Nice distance on that toss! Black pushes up to his feet, but as he does Blonde comes over and springs off the canvas onto his shoulders, snapping him over with a quick huracanrana! Blonde then paces himself, not wanting to overdo his efforts, and as Black pushes up off the canvas again, Blonde hits the ropes and comes behind Black with a running lariat, blasting him hard across the back of the head! COLE A Northern lariat has just dropped Dan Black, and we've got a cover going on in the ring! This could be it! ONE! TW-NO! Dan Black rolls a shoulder right at the count of two! Blonde traps Black in a front facelock and brings him towards his corner, tagging in the big man, who enters and delivers a kick to the open ribs of Black. A chop across the back follows, and then Black is rocked by a European uppercut...but musters the strength to fire one of his own and nail Faqu! Faqu responds with a hard chop to the chest, and Black responds with one of his own to that as well, then blinds him with an eye rake! Black then sets Faqu up as if for a Russian legsweep, but instead delivers a back mule kick between the legs that keels the big man over! Robinson protests the low blow, but Black bounds right past him, and comes off the ropes with a swinging neckbreaker to his opponent! Black gets up and nails Blonde with a punch, knocking him down to the floor, before rolling Faqu onto his stomach and leaping into the air, coming down with a hard knee to the back of the neck! COLE Dan Black has succeeded in getting the big man on the mat, and...WAIT! Heart of Ice coming up! Black lays on the mat and pulls back on Faqu's head, and nearly locks on his patented crossface hold...until Blonde reaches in and drags Dan out to the floor by his ankle! Blonde delivers a kick to the stomach and then cracks Black between the shoulder blades with a hard forearm, but as he sets Black in a standing headscissors position, Dan manages to grab his arm and twist, going behind him with the arms locked behind his head... ...AND THEN DROS JAMES BLONDE WITH A RELEASE DRAGON SUPLEX ON THE FLOOR! CABOOSE HIS NECK! MY GOD! COACH Oh yeah, what an accomplished broadcaster, uttering a whole four syllables. "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" Black gets up, as the crowd chants in shock. All of a sudden, Faqu dusts himself off and gets to his feet, then hits the ropes, DIVING THROUGH THE ROPES with a bodypress that floors the stunned Dan Black, and further shocks the crowd! COLE HE'S TWO HUNDRED AND NINETY POUNDS AND HE JUST SOARED LIKE AN EAGLE! We've never seen that out of Faqu before! COACH Seems like HI-YAH has paid off for these two. The "holy shit" chants don't stop with the Dragon Suplex, as they continue for the big man's dive. He gets up and tosses Blonde back into the ring, then hops up on the apron...AND HITS A SLINGSHOT SENTON ON DAN BLACK! COVER! ONE! TWO! NO! FOOT ON THE ROPE! COACH That was pure luck! Faqu drags Black away from the ropes, then runs into them, getting some momentum before he leaps in the air and comes down on Dan Black with another splash...BUT LANDS ON NOTHING BUT KNEE! Faqu curls up into a ball, while Black rolls onto his stomach and crawls for his corner. COLE Dan Black's got to make the tag here. CABOOSE I don't think anyone will stop him. Certainly not James Blonde! Black makes the tag with ease, and a crowd pop comes up for Tony's entrance back into the match! He rocks the recovering Samoan with a trifecta of right hands, then sends him to the ropes and lifts the big man off his feet, rocking the ring as he drives him to the canvas with a hard powerslam! Tony hooks the leg, and Robinson dives to the canvas to make the count... ONE! TWO! T-NO! ...but the big man escapes, getting his shoulder up at the last second! COLE He's fighting, but how much more can Faqu take, especially without a partner to tag in? CABOOSE Imagine defeating Black T despite those odds, though? What a coup that could be! Tony brings Faqu up, but a throat thrust knocks the former World Champion back a few steps...and a jump spinning wheel kick knocks him down to the canvas! Brannigan holds his jaw and makes sure it's not dislocated as he rolls around on the mat, while Faqu heads for the corner and starts climbing the ropes. He looks down on the floor to see his partner still laid out, but then continues his climb up to the top...but a groggy Tony stumbles towards the ropes and shakes them enough to crotch the big man on top! Faqu falls hard, then falls back to the mat with a resounding thud, and Tony is right there to pick up the pieces. He sends the big man into the ropes, and waits with open arms, catching im with the OUT OF BODY...NO! Faqu boxes the ears of Tony, then sends him to the ropes...where Black makes a blind tag! Faqu catches Tony and presses him up over his head, but before he can drop him Black comes in and delivers a kick to the stomach, which drops Tony on his feet behind Faqu...AND THEN BLACK HITS A BLACKOUT ON FAQU~! The big man teeters, but he's caught before he falls and spun around by Tony, who shows his strength by hitting THE OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE on him, leaving him prone for a Black cover! ONE! TWO! THREE! DING! DING! DING! "Quiet" hits, but the fans are anything but, after that impressive victory from the most acclaimd tag team in company history. COLE Like their methods or not, they have advanced in the Anderson Cup! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen your winners, advancing on in the tournament...BLLLLLAAAAAAACK TEEEEEEE! Dan Black hovers over the big Samoan, sneering, then looks up towards the hard camera and chuckles a bit. Tony goes and gets on the second rope and raises his hands up, then turns to the camera as well and offers a nod, showing that both men know just how good they are. CABOOSE Tough loss for Blonde and Faqu, ESPECIALLY the former, who is still out at ringside! COACH The loss will be easier for him to take that way. As Tony poses on the ropes, he looks across the crowd, smiling...but the smile fades as he locks eyes with one man in the crowd. A look of confusion crosses Brannigan's face as he spies Hoff, the former star applauding the dominant Black T victory. COACH Uh-oh. COLE It looks like Tony Brannigan has caught sight of Hoff...and I don't think he likes what he's seeing! Tony climbs down from the ropes and immediately steps through the ring ropes, hopping onto the floor below. As the fans in front stretch their arms, trying to get a feel of T-Bod's chiseled physique, Brannigan puts his hands on his hips. The carefree attitude Hoff has sported all evening is gone in an instant, replaced by a look of hesitance and confusion. Hoff shrugs as the words "what are you doing here?" are heard coming from Tony's lips. CABOOSE Well, it's about time that somebody took offense to that man's presence. Tony is shouting at Hoff, gesturing wildly with his hands. Hoff, taken aback, can only hold out his hands, trying to calm the former OAOAST champ down. Brannigan, though, is having none of it. At this point, Dan Black, who had been jawing with some fans on the other side of the ring, slowly makes his way to the scene, not really understanding what's going on. COLE It looks like...it looks like Tony is taking offense to Hoff's presence-- CABOOSE Wouldn't you? COLE ...but Hoff doesn't seem to want any of it! Brannigan, agitated, waves Hoff off and turns to leave, but after a step, he doubles back, getting right in Hoff's face. Pressed against the guardrail (giving one lucky lady a hell of a show!), Tony waves Hoff on, begging him to get out of his seat. CABOOSE Don't waste your time, Tony, the man's a coward. COLE Caboose, like him or not, Hoff hasn't done anything tonight, he seems like he's just here as a fan. CABOOSE After what he did, I'll never trust him. Hoff shakes his head, turning away from Tony and sitting back in his chair. Disgusted, Tony grabs the Pepsi-Cola cup out of a young girl's hand and hurls it in Hoff's face! The fans "oooooh" as the cup explodes on Hoff's cheek, sending the cola spraying all over the big man's face, hair, and white shirt. COLE Oh...my. COACH It's on now! COLE Tony has... Hoff's eyes widen, his jaw drops, and his fists clench as, in an instant, the big man is on his feet. Fans start cheering as Tony pulls his arm free from a genuinely surprised Dan Black, smiles a dark smile at Hoff and waves him on. Hoff breathes deeply, then snaps his arm up, aiming an index finger squarely at Brannigan. Hoff shoves a couple fans aside and steps up a row. The two men jut their heads out, nearly nose-to-nose as the insults fly. CABOOSE Come on, Tony, let him have it! Black looks on incredulously as the two powerhouses seem ready to come to blows-- but out of nowhere, OAOAST Security is on the scene! Carl Winslow leads the charge, grabbing Tony by the shoulders, and Black helps out, actually pulling his partner from the fight! Meanwhile, the same detail that escorted Hoff to his seat has grabbed his arms, pulling him back and ushering him away! COLE It's a good thing security has arrived, because these two men were ready to go! COACH Good thing? We could have had Tony Brannigan taken out! CABOOSE You watch your mouth, you punk. The arena buzzes as both men are slowly led away. Once Hoff is halfway up the steps, Tony is let go, and the veteran superstar levels a glare at Hoff, telling him "don't you EVER set foot here again." Hoff's eyes are wild as the cola drips from the bottom of his shirt, snarling as he's escorted from the building. COLE Well I cannot believe what we have just seen! Hoff is gone, but he--he definitely made an impact! Good lord! Brannigan holds up his arms as he walks backwards through the curtain, playing to a cheering crowd. Security follows him, and Dan Black, with a smug grin, brings up the rear. COLE Well Black T successful in the Anderson Cup, proving again how great they are as a team. It's been a wild night here on HeldDOWN and we will have more for you next week, including two more Anderson Cup matches! Until then, for Caboose and the Coach, this is Michael Cole saying goodnight from Indy! Fade to......actually, not yet: With the show at a close, it's clocking off time. Or, at least, if there were such thing as clocking on in the OAOAST then it would be. As it is, everyone's just leaving. Among them, are Leon Rodez and Alix Maria Spezia, arm in arm like the luvvy duvvy couple that they are as they head towards the exits. Leon and Alix don't get that far though, before a rather chubby figure jogs up breathlessly behind them. TAYLOR Hey...hey, Leon! Leon turns around, giving Terry a good shot of Alix by his side. Taylor freaks as Alix sweetly waves at him. TAYLOR Oh God, EVERY time! LEON (to Alix) Just gimme a minute babe. What's up Terry? Taking a hint, Alix begins to skip (!?!) off merrily. TAYLOR Look, I was told to come and tell you about next week by Axel. You're not gonna like it. LEON What is it? TAYLOR Well, he's putting you in a match for the #30 spot in the Royal Rumble... LEON You're kidding? Oh no, that's HORRIBLE! That's TERRIBLE! That's DIABOLICAL! That's...uhm...where's Christian Wright when you need him. Uh...DESPICABLE! TAYLOR No no...that's the good news. The bad news is, your opponent. LEON Who is it? Lemme guess...Bohemoth. Or, Bohemoth and Christian Wright. Or, Bohemoth, Christian Wright and The Global Party Exchange? Bohemoth, Christian Wright, The Global Party Exchange and Jamie O'Hara? Bohemoth, Christian Wright, The Global Party Exchange, Jamie O'Hara, Axel, Peter Knight, Stephen Joseph Popick, Drek Stone and Coach? TAYLOR Nope. LEON Good. Because, that just wouldn't make sense. So, who is it? TAYLOR Dan Black. You, with Zack Malibu in your corner against Dan Black, with Tony Brannigan in his corner. Smiling wryly, Leon nods. LEON Hey, if you happen to see Axel, tell him 'Thanks'. And tell him I hope he enjoys me and Dan's fair and above all friendly match next week. Leon jogs to catch up with Alix as we..... Fade to black Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted January 13, 2006 CREDITS (in chronological order): Nice Guy Adam (w/assist by KingPK) Hoff (OMG~!) Zack Malibu Foshi Ed Wood Caulfield Masked Man of Mystery King Cucaracha Alfdogg CandyColoredBlues Tony149 Stephen Joseph Patty O'Green © 2006 OAOAST Entertainment. All Rights Reserved. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
