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the.weej

SWF Lockdown Card - 06/02/08

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The Smartmarks Wrestling Federation presents...
SWF LOCKDOWN!
Live, WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 8TH, from the SOLD OUT ROSE GARDEN in PORTLAND, OREGON!
(6pm PST, 10pm EST; check local listings)

After a hellacious PPV and a brief period to deal with the Morning After - always a problem when 'Fucking - the SWF gets back to business! And the action wastes no time in getting hot n' heavy, with three title bouts, including a stunning rematch of the Clusterfuck main event! Also, following the effects of Kevin Coyote's stunning revelation on AftershoX, SWF play-by-play man Longdogger Pete has requested this show off, with stalward Ben Hardy replacing him behind the desk. Plus, TWO returns, and a major announcement from the Boss!

OPENING PROMO: Kevin Coyote

MAIN EVENT
WORLD TITLE BOUT, SUBMISSION MATCH
El Luchadore Magnifico© vs JJ Johnson
SPECIAL GUEST COMMENTATOR: Wes Davenport

->And this time... it's personal. After getting closer than any other man in the last four months to dethroning El Luchadore Magnifico as SWF World Heavyweight Champion, JJ Johnson will square off once again for the right to be crowned the best in the business. Not through threats, not through favours, but through a promise, an apology. At the Clusterfuck Magnifico forced Johnson to tap, and in all fairness to JJ, he's going to have to trade submissions with Magnifico and win it the hard way if he wants to become world champion. And of course... all will take place under the watchful eye of the man who truly has the most riding on this matchup.
Rules: Submission match. The winner is whoever forces his opponent to tap out; regular DQ/Countout rules are not in effect, but ropebreaks are. Muzz can write a match if he would like, but is discouraged to do so.
Word Limit: 6750
Send To: realitycheck

-=-=-=-

SINGLES MATCH
"The Divine Wind" Akira Kaibatsu vs Todd Cortez

->Akira Kaibatsu, Michael Cross, WHAT IS THEIR CONNECTION!? Well, Asian, it looks like. Unfortunately, there was no way I could tie that plot point into a totally relevant matchup without being too obvious, so here's Todd Cortez! Cortez has been in a bit of a funk lately, and hasn't been able to find the form that took him to the main event of Ramadomination. This may be a good chance for him, because although Akira hung tough against Bruce Blank in a brutal series of matchups, those injuries of his have got to be lingering. If there's one sure way to find out if old wounds have healed, it's to open 'em up again!
Rules: Standard singles match.
Word Limit: 5000
Send To: janusd

-=-=-=-

HARDCORE TITLE BOUT
Bruce Blank© vs Ghost Machine 2.0

->No rest for the wicked, as they say. After getting perferated, mutilated, discombobulated and blowed up good, Bruce Blank was no doubt looking forward to an easy night off. Well, not so much. The incomprable Ghost Machine has apparently identified Blank as his highest priority processing task, and well, who are we here on SWF CC to argue with Ghost Machine's OS? Here's hoping Blank just doesn't crack his source code open at some point in the match.
Rules: You're kidding, right?
Word Limit: 5000
Send To: chirs3

-=-=-=-

MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT!
->Da Boss himself, Joe Peters, has a big announcement to make, with sweeping ramafactions! After Family Friendly rules and free endorsements, Peter's continued delusions of grandeur can probably only draw a groan from SWF fans and workers included. Just the same, he promises this one is going to be incredible, and might actually have something to do with wrestling this time!

-=-=-=-

SINGLES MATCH
Laberinto vs "The Icon" Max King

->A few shows before the Clusterfuck, Landon Maddix and Max King, the most unlikely of partners, were finally able to pry the tag team titles away from TKO, or at least what was left of them. The exact dynamics of this team, or even King's reasoning for choosing Maddix as his partner, remain uknown. Maddix isn't booked tonight, but King gets a chance to stretch his legs in singles competition against the enigmatic Laberinto.
Rules: Singles Match
Word Limit: 4750
Send To: Justice

-=-=-=-

CRUSIERWEIGHT TITLE BOUT, TRIPLE THREAT
Zyon© vs Kevin Coyote vs Christian Fury

->It doesn't seem like all's well in Zyon's relationship with Spike Jenkins. What does that have to do with this match? Absolutely jack, but it's always nice when the bookers point out they read the shows. The cruiserweight champion has a rocky schedule ahead of him, I reckon, and this first defense of the month is going to be particularly tricky. After floundering a bit out of the gate, Christian Fury is given a chance to kick his return into gear. And while Kevin Coyote's shocking announcement on the last show has affected the commentary table, it will be interesting to see how it affects his preformance in-ring.
Rules: Regular cruiserweight rules. 20 count on the outside, no piledrivers, etc.
Word Limit: 5500
Send To: The Superstar

-=-=-=-

SINGLES MATCH
Amy Stephens vs Insane Luchador

->Amy Stephens, the cute n' cuddly kid sister of Michael Stephens, better known as Toxxic, has been tracking down her brother since his mysterious disappearance. Running out of leads (and money) has brought her to the place he last left. Smells like trouble. And Estée Lauder. Just the same, Joe Peters knows money when he sees it, and given Amy a contract. And who better to welcome her into the SWF than a real ladies man? Sadly, Tyler McClelland hasn't been active in four years, so here's Andrew Rickmen, recently back from the dead.
Rules: Standard singles match.
Word Limit: 4000
Send To: realitycheck

-=-=-=-

SINGLES MATCH
Jimmy the Doom vs The Crimson Skull

->THE MEGAPOWERS COLLIDE! Well, not really, but it's fun to dream. After a long haitus in Doomtopia, Jimmy the DOOM returns, victorious in a war with Zirconia, to do battle with all Ne'er Do Wells, or something to that effect. Just the same, who is more Ne'er than the Crimson Skull himself? Stymied with a streak of losses, Skull has threatened to fire the lovable Heff if conditions don't improve! It's beyond Heff's caste as a mook to get a title match for Skull, like he wants, but a win here would certainly do wonders for his cause...
Rules: Singles Match
Word Limit: 4000
Send To: The Satanic Angel

-=-=-=-

OPENING BOUT
SINGLES MATCH
Archie Griffon vs Michael Cross

->After being away from the Ess Dub Eff for... some time, Arch Griffon returns! When we last saw him, he was the man able to wrest the International Title away from Jay Hawke's white knuckled grasp. Since then, Hawke has gone on to have one of the longest reigns in Federation history! Griff gets a chance to shake off the rust against rookie Michael Cross, who continues to impress.
Rules: Standard singles match.
Word Limit: 4000
Send To: Justice

(Send all promos/marked matches to Justice)
(Longdogger Pete is not on commentary for this show, as a result of what happened on AftershoX. As noted, Ben Hardy is in his place. Pete will return for Smarkdown)
Edited by realitycheck

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Muzz can write a match if he would like, but is discouraged to do so.

 

You can't tell me what to do, Zed!

 

Then again, I'm too lazy to write...

 

You win this round.

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What a card. I wasn't banking on a Submission Match, per se, but hell, I'll make it work.

 

Great job, Z.

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Someone care to remind me of the particulars behind cruiserweight rules?

 

This drunk and addled (but mostly drunk) mind can't recall...

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Cruiserweight Rules:

 

20-count on the floor.

Throwing an opponent over the top rope is an automatic DQ.

 

Did I miss anything?

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I keep thinking there's something about piledrivers. But then, in my mind, I occasionally think Bill Watts Rules and Crusierweight Rules are the same thing.

 

-Z

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I don't remember Bill Watts ever banning a piledriver. You're thinking Memphis and how it was a Tennessee state law to ban the piledriver.

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No piledrivers is Lucha rules. Cruiserweight Rules is 20 count on the outside and no throwing the opponent over the top, as Hawke stated.

 

And I get IL? SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET!

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Stryke will do... something for the show. What that something entails i don't know, but it's February and i haven't really done much of anything since mid-December probably, so i'd better pull my ass away from these damn arcade games (i'm #1 on more than enough games as it is) and actually contribute for a change.

 

FAKE EDIT: Plus World Title rematches, Jimmy The Doom, Ghost Machine, a third Toxxic personality, major announcements and other good stuff i skimmed past? I heartily approve.

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Cruiserweight Rules is 20 count on the outside and no throwing the opponent over the top, as Hawke stated.

 

Ahh... Easy enough. (Nods)

 

I approve.

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Incidently, this card looks good. As in, it is pleasing to the eye, quite apart from the matches on it. Nice one, Zed.

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Guest OKCoyote

So yeah, I woke up at 7:30 in the morning and got on here just to make sure I was on time to request the opening promo.

 

And now that I've had time to actually digest the card... I like it. Damn, there are a lot of matches! But good ones. And a Cruiserweight shot? I can work with that. Oh yeah.

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And a Cruiserweight shot? I can work with that. Oh yeah.

 

But can you handle losing that match? ;)

 

J/k...

 

...Or am I???

 

:D

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Comments #1) "WOOO" and may I add "HOOOOO", this will be awesome fun - I hardly get a chance to flex my comedy muscle as well as my "ultraviolent".. erm muscle (yeah that didn't end as well as I thought)

 

Ghost Machine V2.0 - time to break out all my IT lingo, being in IT for 7 years finally pays off :D

 

Win or lose no one can say I just sat on the title without defenses - which I'm proud off.

 

Comment #2) That's 2 characters I picked to be replaced (and why I gave Dillon & TORU such non-descript "Fuck" showings, I had a feeling)

 

Comment #3) Talk about a main event - OOOOOOOOOOH YEAH!!

 

I'd say SWF is building some momentum early in '06, gotta love that.

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I thought I mentioned why King chose Maddix as his partner:

 

He felt sorry for Maddix, and after beating him at Ramadomination, he wanted to, as a good Sammaritan, help Maddix's career.

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At the Clusterfuck Magnifico forced Johnson to tap

 

 

No, he didn't.

 

He did as of the moment I posted the card. Understand?

 

-Z

Edited by realitycheck

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At the Clusterfuck Magnifico forced Johnson to tap

 

 

No, he didn't.

 

He did as of the moment I posted the card. Understand?

 

-Z

Just nod and go "Yes Vince", it's the only thing to do when he gets like that ;)

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With Ben being "promoted" who will handle backstage interviews? Matt "Clark Kent" Myers maybe?

 

well barring a loud, resounding "NO" from CC that's who I'll use in my pre-match promo

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Guest OKCoyote

Matt "ARG" Myers.

 

You know who I'm talking about. The pirate.

 

You know which pirate.

 

"You're looking for work, you have a parrot on your shoulder and a hook for a hand..."

 

"ARRRRRRRG."

 

"And all you can say is 'Arg.'"

 

"ARRRRRRRG."

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I recently received a suggestion that I'll pass along, that we start using retired SWF wrestler Tod deKindes as our backup interviewer. I'm not preciesely sure how well this would go over, as he's more likely to spend the entire interview talking about how awesome he was rather than ask any questions.

 

-Z

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See, I think that'd be fucking great.

 

------

 

"So Zyon, let's check out this clip..."

 

"... Dude, that's a clip of you."

 

"I know. Isn't it great? Did I tell you I also speak German?"

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