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the.weej

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Oh well, all the more time for porn! And the SWF. What a life I lead.

 

First I would like to arrogantly blow my own horn and point out the two Wes Davenport Collection DVD commercials that were in the show. Both of them were Judge's ideas, but he wrote the first one and let me have the second. I have to say that we have literally come up with dozens of stupid Wes Davenport movie ideas to use for commercials in the span of a couple of hours - this gimmick is truly incredible.

 

Anyway, OH MY GOD SO MANY PROMOS JESUS CHRIST. In some ways, it's disappointing that a regular show can actually have twice as much content as a PPV, and that PPV has three matches that require double posts. At the same time, it's incredibly impressive because it means people are coming out en masse after the PPV to get stuff going on the promo show, which almost never happens. In the end I just say huzzah, 'cause I like promos. There were quite a few new threads that were turned up in this show, and ultimately that's exactly what you want. When you're coming off a PPV, it's sometime weeks before everyone gets going on a storyline, so this is very encouraging. I'm curious about the whole Kaibatsu/Cross angle, and while I did see the Kevin Coyote/LDP thing coming (it's been foreshadowed quite well), the execution was awesome and it raises a lot of interesting questions. Is Coyote himself actually Pete?

 

I have to say that I'm really impressed with this recap show idea, although it is a lot of effort. Judge has really been the catalyst for CC getting involved in projects like this, and I hate him for it, because being on SWF Creative Control has always been about half-assing what essentially amount to e-fed public works projects, and then never reading shows before you book cards. The son of a bitch is ruining nearly five years of tradition, here.

 

And I must say that I'm positively moist over the idea of JJ/ELM having a rematch. I am moistening

 

-Z

Edited by realitycheck

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I had a feeling you wrote the second one, mainly because you mentioned "Day of Defeat." Both were awesome, though.

 

 

Everything else was a good read also.

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Seriously, yeah. Those commercials are perhaps the greatest things I've read in a long while.

 

"What… is our… motto, children?"

 

and Samuel L. Jackson as Martin Luther Vandross.

 

"This is the end for you, my Furher... motherfucker."

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I like that show. The thing that stood out for me was Fury's promo and the whole 'can I get this done without being an evil... motherfucker' vibe (that's if he's being played by Samuel L Jackson, you see). I'll be intrigued to see where it goes, and indeed if it ever coincides with this Clan re-emergence that may or may not be happening, maybe...

 

Oh, and in case anyone hasn't glanced over the stats thread recently, the newly-signed Amy Stephens is (predictably) me. Writing TORU was fun, but he's essentially a tag wrestler without a tag team right now. I might bring him back someday when he's had a chance to adapt to singles wrestling more.

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I like that show. The thing that stood out for me was Fury's promo and the whole 'can I get this done without being an evil... motherfucker' vibe (that's if he's being played by Samuel L Jackson, you see). I'll be intrigued to see where it goes, and indeed if it ever coincides with this Clan re-emergence that may or may not be happening, maybe...

 

(Laugh) Go figure, that was an ending that I kinda threw together haphazardly... I was going to have the interview go not-so-South, but... I toyed with the idea of the near-mention of the Clan because of the other angle that was started.

 

Glad it took well. :)

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Good job at stealing what I did with Andrea, Toxx.

 

The Wes Davenport commercials were super awesome, but I was expecting Ace Lezaire to make an appearance in the Ricky McMasters movie.

 

Overall, awesomeness to the eXtreme.

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... Oh, and in case anyone hasn't glanced over the stats thread recently, the newly-signed Amy Stephens is (predictably) me. Writing TORU was fun, but he's essentially a tag wrestler without a tag team right now. I might bring him back someday when he's had a chance to adapt to singles wrestling more...
Maybe I missed a show or something, but who has the belts? :huh:

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Uh, how did I steal what you did with Andrea, Drea? Amy doesn't wrestle anything like Drea, plus she's not exactly Diva-shape (unlike Drea). Plus Zutroy's in a wheelchair, not missing in action, right?

 

And WC - I jobbed the belts to Landon and Max King on the pre-Clusterfuck Smarkdown. As you might have picked up, if you'd read Muzz's Clusterfuck match :)

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I might have picked it up... and I might have zoned out after trying to read all those words...

 

EDIT - And too bad about TKO, probably the most interesting concept for a tag team since the House of Todd; I was digging you guys.

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Well, I always figured that there were no 'custom-made' tag teams in the SWF (except maybe Deja Vu? Am I imagining that?). Shame about Card getting locked out of the boards and all, I'd have liked to keep going with them. It was fun to cheat for a change :)

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Oh, and in case anyone hasn't glanced over the stats thread recently, the newly-signed Amy Stephens is (predictably) me.

 

J3 called, he wanted credit for the "JackDanielsHammer" but since he didn't get it he now places all guilt for the horrible move name on you.

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Toxx, when Andrea originally came about, she too was looking for Zutroy, who I got rid of at some PPV via a knee injury or some such. It was all, "Hey, where has he gone to, that Zutroy? He is not here at all any more" and then Drea was all "I am beings look for teh Zutroy, he is my brothering." And then Divefire was all "I don't know where he am, but you can wrestlulate and looking at same time."

 

Then I won the light heavyweight tournament, beating the likes of Spark, King of Hearts, and eXodus. And maybe Jamie Bjork. Or Kid Bjork, or whatever the hell name Jay Dawg was using then. But I totally won. To the maxxx.

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Well, I always figured that there were no 'custom-made' tag teams in the SWF (except maybe Deja Vu? Am I imagining that?). Shame about Card getting locked out of the boards and all, I'd have liked to keep going with them. It was fun to cheat for a change :)
Hey, I would have been perfectly happy for W&D to be a "custom-made" tag team, but my partner insisted on suffering under some delusion that he was good enough to be Heavyweight Champion or something ( ;) ), and kept wandering off to wrestle singles and/or disappearing for weeks at a time, so I kept getting stuck as a singles writer myself. And now he's retired and I'm not, and I am disinclined to break in another partner, so there's not much alternative.

 

If I'd had my say, W&D would have came and went as a team, and never split at all, either the first or the second time.

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Guest OKCoyote
and while I did see the Kevin Coyote/LDP thing coming (it's been foreshadowed quite well), the execution was awesome and it raises a lot of interesting questions. Is Coyote himself actually Pete?

 

Why, that's ridiculous. How could Coyote actually be Pete, when he was clearly seen in the ring with Pete by the entire Cow Palace audience?

 

:)

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Well, I always figured that there were no 'custom-made' tag teams in the SWF (except maybe Deja Vu? Am I imagining that?). Shame about Card getting locked out of the boards and all, I'd have liked to keep going with them. It was fun to cheat for a change :)

Hey, I would have been perfectly happy for W&D to be a "custom-made" tag team, but my partner insisted on suffering under some delusion that he was good enough to be Heavyweight Champion or something ( ;) ), and kept wandering off to wrestle singles and/or disappearing for weeks at a time, so I kept getting stuck as a singles writer myself. And now he's retired and I'm not, and I am disinclined to break in another partner, so there's not much alternative.

 

If I'd had my say, W&D would have came and went as a team, and never split at all, either the first or the second time.

 

Sorry, WC. Thinking back that probably would have been better but for the most part the essentially were just that. A tag team. :(

 

I really didn't care for making Johnny a heel but it was just so damned demanded by Toxxic. :P Now if I could only get that final Johnny Dangerous promo finished.

 

As far as the show. Hot damned if I wasn't impressed. Makes me want to lace up the boots...err fire up the MS Word, actually.

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When I first started in the SWF I’d give detailed feedback on most shows, but well I hadn’t been there for a that long and got a ”What’s this newbie talking about” vibe now and again so I just stopped. But well 26 matches in I’m in a better position I suppose so here goes.

 

Opening Promo

ELM out to brag about winning at CF (I don’t blame him I would too ;) ) bags on JJJ and how he didn’t kill him like he said and then starts up on Wes

 

Only to be interrupted by the guy he just SNEAKED by at CF – Mr. JJ himself.

 

Long (well Medium length) story short: It’s ON for Lockdown!! Title match, apology and everything.

 

My take: Strong promo, good build for the a match I DEFINITLY want to see. But with just 5 more shows before “From the Fire” I felt it was a little “Wes Davenport Deficient”

 

Recap of ClusterFuck Part 1

No feedback on recaps

 

Match 1: Michael Cross Vs Jason Von Dierch

With a good debut match under his belt Cross comes up against competition (Well theoretically as JVD hasn’t turned in a match since some time November I think) so let’s see how it goes.

 

Ced is a crowd favorite? Man SWF fans have no taste ;) both King and Pete point out how Cross destroyed Ced on the last show – which is kinda odd as few people in the federation tends to get praise from BOTH Pete and King at the same time (Last guy I remember is TORU, but he was such a swank tweener that he could do it)

 

I’m impressed that JVD can step under the THIRD rope (isn’t that the bottom one?) but don’t mind me that’s just something that struck me as a funny mental image.

 

Jason draws blood waaaaaaaaaaaaay to easily in the match unless Cross is secretly has a condition where he bleeds after a couple of punches (unless it’s re-opening an old cut which should have been stated) the quick appearance of blood without much work takes the drama out of such a spot IMO. It’d be different if JVD was known for his chops and had chopped other people’s chests to blood in the past.

 

I liked the innovative escape from the “Iron Curtain” – it was early enough in the match for Cross not to be too worn down to run with JVD on his back. Although that’s a might quick bounce back from an unprotected dive to the floor, unless Cross had JVD break his fall by landing on top of him (But that wasn’t written specifically) After the splash on JVD it’s actually the guy taking the move (and the beating on the outside up till then) that gets in the first show?? :huh:

 

Also no referee count as JVD destroys Cross on the floor, could have been explained in several ways so that it didn’t seem like the referee just “forgot”

 

Jason keeps up the ass kicking and beats down a very bloodied Cross before being denied a 3 count which stuns the crowd (and rightly so cause Cross sold like he had been shot) Cross gets a short burst of offense before both of them go down side by side – stopped at 7 as BOTH get up at the same time. Which means Cross’ 2 moves did about as much damage to JVD as the beating JVD laid on Cross – hmmm.

 

Von Dierch kicks out of a “not hit 100%” version of Cross’ finisher, nice touch to show how he was too weak to execute it to perfection and then allow Von Dierch to kick out of it (if he had lost there he’d be a total bitch – good job of not doing that ;) ) Good hard hitting action follows until Cross plays superman and lifts Von Dierch up into the air in a suplex position for a good 20 seconds while staggering around before hitting a sloppy and potentially dangerous Brainbuster

 

That JVD no sells! That bastard! (he’s up before Cross? :huh: )

 

A ref bump later and the CROWD counts as the heel covers the face? I got to break out the “Huh” face again :huh: also for the term “tweener” used on JVD’s actions.

 

I wonder if Cross is a comic book fan “not like this… not like this” just cracked me up (intentionally?)

 

And the finish! After taking a lot of punishment Cross turns it around and in ONE move takes out his opponent for the hard fought win.

 

Post Match Shenanigans: Akira & Kobe are out and the face Michael Cross reacts with distrust towards the face Akira? (Unless Cross has a DTA attitude I’m not sure if that makes sense) then Akira & Cross go from looking like they’re ready to go at it to shaking hands and having their tag-team name emblazoned on the big screen.

 

A lot of my comments may look bad, but all in all this was a pretty good match, I just tended to focus on giving you comments that could help you develop in the SWF so don’t take it as me shitting all over the match, it was an enjoyable read and most of my comments are nitpicking or me saying ”well I would have done it another way”

 

Recap of ClusterFuck Part 2

No feedback on recaps

 

Promo #2

Bruce’s injuries are listed and then he talks trash with an offhanded remark at the end that seems to be the spark that lit the fire under IL’s ass

 

Which is good :D otherwise no comments on my own stuff

 

Promo 3

Sweeping at Glory: the Ricky McMasters’ story

 

AWESOME! That was totally hilarious and on some levels actually something that I could see Hollywood turn out – it’d get play on the Hallmark channel ;) Cuba Gooding Jr’s finest hour

 

*thumbs up* hilarious.

 

Recap of ClusterFuck Part 3

No feedback on recaps

 

Promo 4

Jimmy the Doom is back – here to regale you with a sad, sad story about the Doomtopian war. Jimmy is a War Hero! Wes Davenport is slated to play him in the film.

 

Welcome back JtD, glad to see you bring the comedy with you.

 

Promo 5

Miss Toxxic signs with the SWF!!

 

Only she’s being offered a Diva contract by Peters and is rightly so a bit PO’ed.

 

I don’t remember the details from her last appearance but she wasn’t exactly described as having that “diva” look from what I remember – but Peters wants her on the “Diva” plan anyways :huh: ?? Either Peters is stupid and thinks this chick will sell swimsuit calendars or he’s a masoginistic pig who just wants her to go to the kitchen and fetch her a sammich.

 

The logic behind that totally escapes me.

 

And then she’s taken for a gimmick fitting… but hold on!! Did she sign the contract? Nope – so why go for a gimmick fitting and all if she’s not signed?

 

“huh” count in promo: 2

 

Match 2: Joshi Dragon Vs Matt Myers

the Dragon makes her return to active competition after being away for a while and she takes on everyone’s favorite imitator Matt Myers who tonight is the dashing, the brave Scarlet Pimpernel.

 

Matt is apparently a “promising newcomer”? that’s news to me and probably to Matt too :huh:

 

Matt is also menacing (trust me it’s said enough time to establish that he’s menacing) and a heel, which could partially be blamed on the lack of Matt Myers profile in the stats thread *Glares at creative*

 

No selling of the “Scarlet Pimpernel” gimmick :( none other than the use of the nickname, which makes me sad – that’s what sets Matt apart from everyone else, he’s not just a generic jobber.

 

“Lateral aspects”? :huh:

 

Alright initial shenanigans over with the match can start *thumbs up* leg work from Joshi showing us that she has tiny, tiny feet as one of her drop kicks just hits Matt’s kneecap and nothing else. Of course the leg of Matt soon recovers and he fights back like she never touched him. Now I’m no expert on “Railgun Suplexes” but from GM V2.0’s description I didn’t get the impression that it started like a belly to back suplex.

 

A missed swandive and a buzzsaw kick to the head should leave Matt feeling sore in the neck as the Joshi Dragon takes over – getting the old “Mo” swinging (and I don’t mean the chick on EastEnders… neither of them) in fact Matt is in so much pain that he doesn’t realize that the standing Christo could be countered with a Samoan Drop (but that’s wrestling logic for you it actually works in the match)

 

Oh woops I spoke too soon, after falling to his knees he gets back up and DOES land the Samoan Drop – not a very effective move if he can be in it for that long and just get back up again or maybe that’s because Candace just ain’t that strong? Being down for an 8 count off the Samoan drop sells the move so well you’d think the Samoan who did it was Yokozuna and not little Matty Myers. I just didn’t feel the “drama” of it coming off a Samoan Drop.

 

A side headlock – called a “Punishing old” and causes Pete to call Myers a “Sadist” – the same man that’s watched so many Hardcore matches where people blow up or weedwhack each other calls a reapplied side-headlocker a “sadist”? :huh:

 

And the win comes off the victory roll – nice “Underdog pulls it out” finishing sequence as she beats the odds against our resident level jobber.

 

Selling was spotting and I didn’t really feel the Pete/King commentary ever rose above “generic banter”.

 

Recap of ClusterFuck Part 4

No feedback on recaps

 

Promo 6

Chris Fury promo with “Director’s cut” pre- and prologue.

 

I really enjoyed the insight into Fury, the parts before and after really made the interview in between mean so much more – cause the interview itself came off “okay” if a bit generic, but the parts around it is what made it really click.

 

This promo told me one thing: “Chris Fury is a match to watch” and that’s a good thing

 

Promo 7

The Ghost Machine (BOO) I mean Ghost Machine V2.0 (Yay!)

 

Proving once and for all that bug fixing and improved performance makes the end users happy – also strikes a blow for not releasing a product before it’s been thoroughly debugged cause V1.0 was awfully buggy.

 

Like the skates bit and the ”cover up” by Pete

 

And V2.0 wants

 

Bruce Blank!! On a personal level I marked because I’ve been a big fan since V2.0 was released and I look forward to the match.

 

Short and to the point, next show is hyped, the Ultraviolent challenger isn’t ”out of the blue” and there is a bit of mystery about the ”Malfunction”

 

Hint: the malfunction is that he bleeds instead of leaking oil. (I made that up if you didn’t already know)

 

Promo 8

And ELM’s awesome performance at the ClusterFuck gets him the greatest honor ever percieved.

 

Having Taco Bell name something after him: El BurriTaco Magnifico! And apparently Matt Myers just isn’t full until ELM helps him.

 

Funny stuff – but damn you it just makes me sad when I remember that there are no Taco Bells in Denmark and that’s some good eatin’ :(

 

Recap of ClusterFuck Part 5

No feedback on recaps

 

 

Promo 9

“Company of Honorably Banding Brothers”

 

Take every war movie ever known, throw them in a blender and you have CoHBB.

 

I thought the first movie spoof was funnier, but that’s not to say this wasn’t funny, cause it was.

 

Promo 10

TEN!! Holy fucking shit!

 

Kevin Coyote’s dirty secret – another chapter in the very interesting story of the young rookie trying to make it in SWF. And this is the BIG ONE!

 

Kevin Coyote tells everyone that his father is – LONGDOGGER PETE OMMFG!!

 

And Kevin even has a father’s day present for him: Brass knucks to the head!!

 

A home run! Great promo, great way to take the next step and yes Coyote is definitely on his way to becoming one of the most hated men in the SWF right now.

 

*thumbs up*

 

Match 3: Insane Luchador Vs Crimson Skull

Main event time and IL returns from the dead – funny I thought Vince McMahon was the devil yet he let IL go to the SWF?

 

King is joined by Ben Hardy and Bobby Riley (who’s a complete unknown to me character wise) to sell the beating, nice touch of continuity.

 

The Insane one is back and so is “Excalibur” (does that mean IL is a descendent of King Arthur??) and it’s just his kind of match to boot! Someone must like IL… and he’s down south.

 

What does the word “Whiff” mean? I’m serious I thought it was a sound effect here at first but it’s an actual word for something other than “get a whiff of this”??

 

Steel beats glass and then steel beats IL’s ass and everything is right in Villain-world as Skull gets a’stomping! Well he gets a’pinning… for one… then a knee to the head. Tell you the truth that’s not much “a’stomping” – dang! Man that IL is tough!! He gets a bundle of light tubes broken over his back and he just turns around? Maybe that’s how they say hello where IL is from?

 

DDT on the shard covered chair!! *Nod of approval from the King of Pain*

 

And that’s it – Skull just doesn’t cut it in the Hardcore environment it would seem as IL makes a successful return.

 

Shame it was short is about the only really negative thing I can say.

 

Promo 11

Holy crap I thought we finished at 10 :o

 

Skull threatens Heff with a pink slip and tells him that he needs to help out more, be a better evil henchman

 

Oh and to get him a title shot (If I retain against GM then step into my office and we’ll talk turkey)

 

Foreshadowing!! Nice one *thumbs up*

 

11 Promos :o and 3 matches

 

Sadly we didn’t even touch on the Max/Landon feud (Is that still ongoing or did it just fizzle into a tag-team title run?) nor did it touch on Hawke/WC or Spike Zyon

 

But hopefully that will be rectified at Lockdown.

 

See I told you details to follow – and I will try to do a detailed feedback to each show (time permitting)

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Those were very helpful, Blank. That match got real sloppy real fast - I started running out of words to explain stuff so everything kind of came together incorrectly and came off in a totally different way than I would've liked. Time lapse between spots really doesn't help my cause, because everything seemed to come together a bit fast. Thanks, comments much appreciated.

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Promo 6

Chris Fury promo with “Director’s cut” pre- and prologue.

 

I really enjoyed the insight into Fury, the parts before and after really made the interview in between mean so much more – cause the interview itself came off “okay” if a bit generic, but the parts around it is what made it really click.

 

This promo told me one thing: “Chris Fury is a match to watch” and that’s a good thing

 

Welcome to my standard match-writing style, Bruce. :)

 

First-person perspective FTW~!

 

:D

 

And yes, detailed analyses are always good... Keep it up!

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It's QUICK COMMENTS ... of DOOM!

 

El Promador Magnifico

I love Mags as a rudo. I just thought I'd reiterate that. I'm also thrilled at the prospect of a rematch, especially since it's going to be a submission match. I love the way the characters - two of the most subtle, silent guys we've had - interact. It's very rich, for how they do it.

 

Card

The bra and panties match was excellent.

 

Michael Cross vs. Jason von Dierch

Not a bad match. Flashes of brilliance in the commentary, although the characters weren't quite right on... but that'll come as you get more experienced writing them. The wrestling per se wasn't bad, I was also pleased to see that there was an angle involved after the match. Very promising.

 

Bruce Blank Promo-style

Nice little WWE-style promo here. Reiterates Bruce's direction, and makes fun of Andrew Rickmen. Can't bitch too much about that.

 

Jimmy the Doom has a social conscience

No he doesn't.

 

Amy Stephens gets signed

Well, this is going to be fun.

 

Candace "the Joshi Dragon" Okimura vs. Matt "the Scarlet Pimpernel" Myers

From a character standpoint, this was a bit depressing. The Scarlet Pimpernel bit wasn't used at all, and... well... he's not really a "rookie" so much as someone who's been around for a while and just doesn't get his props. (This is like the time Danny wrote Justice & Rule as "promising newcomers.") With that out of the way, though, the wrestling was actually pretty good. If we look at this the way Frisco probably was when he was writing - that is, a match against a generic rookie - then the plot and wrestling weren't bad at all. I didn't quite dig the enzuigiri immediately into a kip-up and an electric chair drop, but I'm admittedly a little anal about selling. No big deal.

 

Christian Fury drinks a brandy alexander

I've always been a fan of the first-person style. I also like where I think I smell this going, which is toward Ryan Dustin territory. Good stuff.

 

Ghost Machine's warranty is voided

No, really, they're roller skates. Is it wrong that Chris Belcourt is my new favorite character?

 

Luke... I am your FATHER...

I like the "birth certificate made public" thing, which may or may not be an intentional reference to the Boogeyman's troubles with Tough Enough but which I'm willing to read as one. it's going to be interesting to see how this plays out, since there's always the possibility it'll end in bad taste. Hard to say, but it should be cool, and Pete's always had a pretty good sense for angles (assuming he'll be involved in writing it).

 

Crimson Skull vs. Insane Luchador

Why did Skull no-sell Riley's presence? Because, y'know, that's not Cool. *spits apple* I do, however, mark for the Starwipe.

 

Crimson Skull gets irritated. His face turns... uh... anyone know a descriptive adjectival term for 'red?'

I mark for Heff's job being in danger. I really do.

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His face reddens?

 

Oh, Bruce? The logic gaps in the Amy promo are covered thusly: first, Amy isn't exactly Diva-shaped, but the idea I was trying to put across is that the entertainment-orientated Joe Peters (who's never encountered either Annie Onita or Andrea Montgomery) doesn't really think of women as wrestlers, just as eye candy. Second, she insisted on a wrestler contract in the end, not a Diva one.

 

Drea... i don't see that angle copyrighted, therefore I'm having it. Ha. So there.

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Oh, Bruce? The logic gaps in the Amy promo are covered thusly: first, Amy isn't exactly Diva-shaped, but the idea I was trying to put across is that the entertainment-orientated Joe Peters (who's never encountered either Annie Onita or Andrea Montgomery) doesn't really think of women as wrestlers, just as eye candy. Second, she insisted on a wrestler contract in the end, not a Diva one.
I had to make sure I hadn't read her description wrong and thought of someone else - that would have been embarrasing.

 

Peters - sexist (well maybe more like "limited in his views on women to be precise) that works for me *thumbs up*

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Guest OKCoyote
I like the "birth certificate made public" thing, which may or may not be an intentional reference to the Boogeyman's troubles with Tough Enough but which I'm willing to read as one. it's going to be interesting to see how this plays out, since there's always the possibility it'll end in bad taste. Hard to say, but it should be cool, and Pete's always had a pretty good sense for angles (assuming he'll be involved in writing it).

 

I don't know anything about the Boogeyman's period on Tough Enough as I wasn't watching during that period. So, there was no reference intended.

 

Thanks though (and thanks to Blank as well) for the comments.

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I like the concept of a review show. And Tom I don't think anyone would want to head into Ryan Dustin territory. That mindset involves more drinking than it's worth. Good stuff all around

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