KingPK 0 Report post Posted February 24, 2006 Ahhh, Hawaii. Don't you wish you were here? Well, fire up the space heaters to 80 (hope you got fire insurance) and join us for another edition of HeldDOWN from America's 50th state. We head to a specially made outdoor arena on the beach at the Hawaiian Hilton (because no one wants to be cooped up inside when you're out here) where a crowd of bikini clad babes and their wrestling loving male companions are gathered around to see their favorite OAOAST Superstars live and in person. Damn that was a long run on sentence. Anyway, over to Sofa Central as your hosts for the evening, decked out in Hawaiian shirts with lei's around their necks are ready to call the action. COLE Aloha everyone and welcome to HeldDOWN~! Michael Cole here to call the action along with Jonathan Coachman and Caboose and we are here in beautiful Honolulu, Hawaii for the final HeldDOWN before Zero Hour in Los Angeles. COACH Hey guys, I just got lei'd (laid) by that little Hawaiian hottie over there. (Chuckles) CABOOSE What are you, twelve? COLE We're just three days away from our next PPV spectacular and we've got a lot in store for you tonight, including Alfdogg defending his Heartland Title against Charlie Moss and Reject taking on Zack Malibu. COACH Not to mention another of Peter Knight's AngleMania Warmup matches. I was highly entertained by last week's. CABOOSE I'm sure you were. But first, let's go up to Tony Schiavone who is about to get some words from the Anderson Cup finalists. Up on the interview podium (which this week is situated right near the pool area) is Tony Schiavone. SCHIAVONE Coming up this Sunday night live on pay-per-view at Zero Hour, the Finals of the 2006 Anderson Cup. Over the last two months 16 teams have competed in a single-elimination tournament for a shot at the World Tag Team Championship at AngleMania V. And what a tournament it has been, fans. We have seen everything from Los Diablos de Fuego upsetting last year's winners, the GPX, in the opening round, to the Lone Star Gunslingers coming in from Japan and going all the way to the Conference Finals by defeating teams such as Christian Wright and Bohemoth and Black T. But now we are down to the final two teams. Before we bring them out, I'd like to introduce a very special guest I'm proud to say I've known for over 20 years. Truly a legend in this sport, having won both the NWA and WCW tag team championships, in addition to being an original member of the 4 Horsemen. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the special referee for this Sunday's Anderson Cup Finals..."The Enforcer" ARN ANDERSON! "YEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHH!" As the OAOAST Legends theme hits, the longtime enforcer of the 4 Horsemen steps out onto the stage to a STANDING OVATION. Arn scoopes the arena, soaking in the moment before holding up the famous 4 fingers, the sign of the Horsemen, as do many in the crowd, paying homage to a man who has given so much to the sport they love. Double A nods his head and gives the big thumbs up, then walks over to the interview podium. After shaking Tony Schiavone's hand he turns his back to the camera and flashes the Horsemen sign once again to the fans. SCHIAVONE Arn, great to see you back in the OAOAST. "YEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHH!" ANDERSON It's great to be back, Tony Schiavone. I only regret I can't turn back time 20 years so I can compete inside a OAOAST ring, in front of OAOAST fans, and against the the greatest wrestlers the OAOAST has to offer. During my time as a professional wrestler I missed out on birthdays, wedding anniversaries, but the fact I still have everyone in this arena's respect makes the blood, sweat, and tears worth it. The ovation the fans gave me here tonight sent chills down my spine, and I thank them for that. "THANK YOU, ARN!" "THANK YOU, ARN!" "THANK YOU, ARN!" ANDERSON But I didn't come here tonight to talk about Arn Anderson. I came here to talk about the finals of the 2006 Anderson Cup. You know, ever since I retired from the greatest sport of them all, I've seen the steady decline of tag team wrestling. I've sat back and watched as promoters have brushed off tag team wrestling as passe, a thing of the past. And then a promotion like the OAOAST comes along and proves otherwise. When I look at the tag team division in the OAOAST it takes me back to my hayday, but instead of teams like myself and Ole, myself and Tully, the Rock 'n' Roll Express, the Midnight Express, the Road Warriors, you have the Sooner Bruisers, the Heavenly Rockers, Black T, the New New Midnight Express, Team Heyross...the list goes on and on. It's no coincidence that all those teams mentioned were part of the Anderson Cup. A tournament which started with 16 teams and now has gone down to the final two. Which brings me to Zero Hour, Tony Schiavone. The stakes are as high as they can be without the World tag belts involved. That's why the OAOAST asked myself to be the special referee, or special enforcer to capitalize on a pun, for the big match between the Sooner Bruisers and the Heavenly Rockers. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to know both teams have their fair share of enemies who don't want to see either one of them go onto AngleMania V. The winner has the opportunity to go on to the biggest event of the year and win the tag titles in front of a worldwide audience, while the loser falls back down the ladder. So it's my job to ensure the result is on the up and up. And I promise you and the teams involved, that's exactly what you're gonna get. A clear-cut winner. SCHIAVONE There you have it from a man who has held the tag team championship with 4 different partners. Now let's bring out the teams who want their first taste of championship gold at AngleMania V. The Sooner Bruisers and the Heavenly RRROCKERRRRSSSSS! Unlike the pop and circumstance entrances in today's world of wrestling, both Anderson Cup finalists come out together in their street clothes. No music. No fancy pyro. They exchange pleasantries and handshakes with Tony and Arn once they reach the stage. SCHIAVONE This is it, gentlemen. 3 days away from the biggest night in your careers. The winner of the Anderson Cup goes on to face the World tag team champions at AngleMania V. It's no secret you 4 haven't seen eye-to-eye in the past. In fact, it was you Frank who once dismissed the Heavenly Rockers as style over substance, claiming Holly-Wood was with the wrong man, prompting a harsh response from your opponents Sunday night in a Rolling Stone interview months later. CABOOSE Continuity is a wonderful thing. COLE Does Tony want to get himself killed? COACH I have dibs on his hair. You can have the pubes, Mikey. COLE Gee, thanks. FRANK It's just like the media to try and stir up controversary, Tony Schiavone, heading into a big game they didn't want. All you wrestling "experts" wanted a rematch of last year's Anderson Cup with Black T and the GPX. You knew you'd get the trash talkin' from them. We're going to the Anderson Cup Finals to win! In case you forgot, one team went out in the FIRST ROUND and the other got eliminated by two guys whose life story is a media darling. It's kinda fitting Black T and the GPX got bounced from the Anderson Cup by teams who share a lot in common. Think about it. Texas was once part of Mexico. And you know what they say about steers and queers. "OOOOOOOOOOOOOH!" COLE Always one to speak his mind is Frank. LOGAN Like Frank said, there's no controversary to speak of. Okay, so you'll never see us socialize together after the show, but we respect each others abilities. I appreciate what the Sooners did in going after Simon and Ned for what they did to Holly. And I'm happy to report Holly is doing a lot better mentally and physcially; believe me, she's doing A LOT better physcially, putting me through quite the workout if you get my drift. SYNTH Mann, I get yo' drift and it smells like Right Guard. The Synthmeister prefers Spice, because that's what I give da ladies and yo' groupies. As you can tell, Mr. S, there's nothing but love and respek goin' around. But come the PPV in L.A., we's gonna get physcial, physcial, and let our bodies do all the talkin'. Both teams want the gold, but me and my boy want it a billzillion times more than them, son. With all's due respek to the Chicks Over Dicks, we want them assholes, Simon and Ned. We ain't fo'gotten what they done to us. Them dicks broke moi's arm on two different O-ccassions and injured my Mann's ribs. That ain't right, son. That ain't right. Not wit the Lord and not wit the Heavenly Rockers. Like the Village People, we want you! FRANK But you ain't gonna get them, bitch! "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!" FRANK With all due respect, of course. Because me and my brother are going to AngleMania. FRANKIE We're gonna chew ya up, spit ya out, piss on ya, shit on ya, light your bodies on fire, and then throw you off a bridge! FRANK Download for an upgrade! LOGAN I have dial-up, so that download is gonna take a while. Long enough to prevent you from going to AngleMania! That sparks the STARE DOWN~! All 4 men BUTT heads and make INTENSE~! faces while the crowd buzzes over the possibility of a physcial confrontation. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" SCHIAVONE Now, wait a minute. In Armani suits that would land them on any Best Dressed list, Dan Black and Tony Brannigan, BLACK T, make their way onto the podium. TONY Girls, girls, girls. Please. Show some restraint. Mr. Black and myself have the solution to your problem. Neither one of you is going to AngleMania. We are! COLE What?! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" TONY Boo all you want, but everybody who saw our semi-final match knows we got jobbed. The Lone Star Gunslingers got the fluke pin. And so goes the world of wrestling. They got the break that night, but as we showed last week, Black T is the superior team, the best tag team in this sport, period! We don't take our ball and run home when things don't go our way, as Jock and Baron found out last week when we left them laying on their backs. DAN The Gunslingers found out what it's like to get on our bad side the hard way. Mr. Anderson, Mr. Brannigan and I couldn't help but overhear you say you sat backed and watch as tag team wrestling steadily declined. We echo your sentiment, sir. We, too, have sat backed and watched the decline of the OAOAST's tag team division. Then the most powerful tag team was formed. We took the tag division to new hights before stepping aside and letting the children have some fun. Now we're hear to say we are coming back for what is ours, the OAOAST World Tag Team Title. As Mr. Brannigan correctly pointed out, we received the short end of the straw in our elimination from the Anderson Cup. Instead of us facing the Heavenly Rockers at Zero Hour, it's the Sooner Bruisers. Two of the finest tag teams in our sport today. But keep in mind you're fighting for OUR trophy, OUR title shot at the biggest event of the year, AngleMania V. Therefore, we formally challenge the winner to put up their title shot at AngleMania against the GREATEST tag team in OAOAST history, the Trans-Atlantic Wrecking Crew of Black T. TONY If you wanna be the best, you gotta beat the best, boys. Without hesitation Frank leans in as Tony Schiavone holds up the microphone near Logan's mouth and answers. FRANK You want it? You got it! We'll put in the contracts. There's 3 things the Man of Tomorrow cares about. My byte-cips, my freakozoids and my air time. And right now you're impeding on my air time. Frank cocks his right hand, but has it held back by Arn Anderson, who tells him this is what Black T wants them do to. He's right, as the Sooner Bruisers are yanked off the podium by the SOUTH CENTRAL MILITIA. Tony Schiavone flees the area as Black T and the Heavenly Rockers begin trading blows on the podium. The situation escalates when the NEW NEW MIDNIGHT EXPRESS storm the stage and join Black T in putting the boots to the Heavenly Rockers! Even Jim Cornette gets in his cheapshots, kicking the Heavenly Rockers while they're down, as he barks orders to his men. COLE It's a set-up! A damn set-up! No doubt the brainchild of Jim Cornette. He doesn't want the Heavenly Rockers anywhere close to getting a shot at the World Tag Team Titles. And with his hired thugs, the SCM, who are still pissed OAOAST officials rightfully declined their request when they offered to take the spot of Los Diablos after they had attacked them in the back, to they have attacked the Anderson Cup finalists. COACH This is what I call community involvement! If you want to clean up your neighborhood you need volunteers to help out. "YEEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" THE LONE STAR GUNSLINGERS sprint out from the back and go right for Black T. The former tag team champions take a tumble to the floor following stereo right hands. Sporting a bandage over his right eye, the result of going head-first into the ringpost, "The Texas Twister" Jock Mulligan sends Tony Brannigan reeling with a series out bonic elbows. Vincent Santana zooms past Dan Black and Baron Windels as they exchange blows and hits hard against the guardrail. Black rakes the eyes and rams Windels into the guardrail, then saves Tony from the grip of the IRON CLAW, drilling the forearm into the back of Mulligan's neck. COLE There isn't enough security out here. We need more security! COACH Talk about a constrast of styles. You have men in t-shirts and jeans vs. men in suits. CABOOSE Axel is probably get off on this. He sees two key members of the Originals in a chaotic brawl weeks away from AngleMania. Imagine how easier the job will get if Black T are seriously injured in this mess. * THUD * Cornette with a vicious shot to the head of Synth with the TENNIS RACKET. Logan receives a shot as well, before being hit with a SPINNING NECKBREAKER on the podium from Simon. Ned climbs down the steps dragging Logan by his mini-afro. He sets Mann up for a piledriver as Singleton jumps off the stage, driving Logan's legs straight down...SPIKE PILEDRIVER ON THE CONCRETE FLOOR AROUND THE POOL! COLE My God! They may have just broken Logan's neck! Damn them! The entire arena floor is flooded with security as EMTs quickly rush to the injured Logan Mann. Officials physcially restrain Simon and Ned to prevent them from getting back to Logan or Synth. COLE You have to wonder if Logan will even be able to go at Zero Hour. COACH Have to wonder? Did you see what happened? The man -- no pun intended -- took a spike piledriver on the concrete floor, baby boy. CABOOSE That was one of the most premediated attacks I've ever seen. Quite frankely, it's appalling. I'm no angel myself, but at least I try to hit a man to his face. COLE Ladies and gentlemen, we gotta restore order here. We'll be back in a moment. We WOOSH~! to the backstage area, to Axel's office if you want specifics. Said General Manager is sitting at his desk, on the phone while OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion Peter Knight sits patiently, using his sleeve to shine his title belt which rests on his lap. AXEL Yeah, that's right. Make sure everything I just said is in there or you won't have another OAOAST event in that arena as long as I'm around. All right, thank you. Goodbye. Axel hangs up the phone. KNIGHT Can you make decisions like that? AXEL Pssh, I don't know. Hell, I don't even know who OWNS this damn company. Well, your Skybox at the Staples Center is all set for Sunday night. I don't know why you just want to sit up there all night when we can find something for you on the show. KNIGHT Nah, forget it. Watts says I don't have to wrestle, I won't wrestle. I mean, I COULD get involved in Alf's match with Brock, but I still wouldn't be getting paid for it. Besides, Alf's got plenty to handle already; Brock doesn't need my help. Anyway, is my opponent here for my next warmup match? AXEL Uh huh. Though you kinda rattled some of the kids after what you did to Bannar last week (chuckles). KNIGHT Kid was on an adrenaline rush and thought he could go toe-to-toe with me. He was wrong. So, who's next on the list. AXEL See for yourself. Axel passes a sheet of paper over to Knight, who reads it and breaks into a grin. KNIGHT You gotta be kidding me. He's still down there? AXEL Yep. Good luck tonight, (sarcastically) because you will REALLY need it. Knight exits the office as we fade out. Commercial break Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted February 24, 2006 As we return we are taken to the Hilton's parking lot where John “Rock Hard” Brickston is waiting. The crowd cheers. Brickston paces back and forth, a pissed off look on his face. COLE That’s John “Rock Hard” Brickston! CABOOSE Thanks for reminding me. Jackass. COLE He must be waiting for someone. Could he be waiting for Vitamin X? COACH Maybe. If he is, he better pray Vitamin X goes easy on him! COLE What? ZERO HOUR! THIS SUNDAY!! ONLY ON PPV MY CAPS LOCK BUTTON IS STUCK! As we return to the arena proper, Metalingus is playing and the champ is heading down the aisle towards the ring. COLE Be sure to order Zero Hour on Pay Per View as tickets for the Staples Center are SOOOOLD OUT! Someone who is NOT booked this Sunday, Peter Knight, makes his way to the ring for his next "AngleMania Warmup" match. CABOOSE You mean "AngleMania Complete Farce". COACH Come on, 'Boose. So his first opponent wasn't up to the challenge; don't blame Knight for that. The whole purpose of this is so he can prepare for Alfdogg, so just beating on weak opponents is counterproductive. Knight raises the title belt to the crowd and snatches the microphone from Buffer. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" KNIGHT (chuckling) Ok, I think that Axel is giving me an easy match this week because we're in Hawaii and I told him I wanted to hit the beach tonight, but this is a bit ridiculous. You might remember my opponent tonight....but you also might not because he was only around for about a month and got his ass kicked every time he hit the ring. So, lets bring him out. CUE: An Ode to Killings. CABOOSE Oh come on. Wearing his trademark sunglasses, white tank top and blue jeans, Prince Killings makes his return to an OAOAST ring, having not done all that well in his ventures to Hollywood. COLE I wonder if he learned any more moves? COACH Hey, lay off the guy. We haven't seen him in almost a year, so who knows what he brings to the table now? He might be able to wrestle circles around Chris Benoit by now. CABOOSE Yeah sure, Coach. And I'm going to visit Popick in the hospital later and give him a sponge bath. Killings slowly removes his sunglasses in a dramatic fashion and glares at Knight, who is still stifling his laughter as Nick Patrick lifts the OAOAST World Title belt in the air. Killings cracks his neck as Knight goes through his own warmup routine. The music fades and Patrick calls for the bell to start the match. *DING DING* Knight and Killings take a step forward and come face to face in the center of the ring. Knight puts his hand up and pats Killings on the chest, turning his head to the side and slapping his cheek, motioning for Killings to start things off. COACH What is he doing? He's just giving Killings a free shot? However, Killings remains stoic. Knight, getting a little angry, again turns his head and slaps his cheek harder this time, yelling for Killings to take the first shot, but Killings remains still. Knight turns away and sighs in frustration, throwing his arms to the side and yelling in the direction of Coach. COACH I hear ya; I hate when people don't coopera.....whoa! Suddenly, as Knight turns back, Killings rears back and nails Knight with a right and peppers him with punches, backing him into the ropes. "YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Killings leans back....... *SLAP* "WHOOOOOOOOO!!!" *SLAP* "WHOOOOOOOOO!!!" *SLAP* "WHOOOOOOOOO!!!" And fires off a trio of chops, leaving Knight gasping for air as Killings grabs his arm and whips him off the ropes, ducking down and pitching Knight over his head with a backdrop, sending him crashing to the mat. Killings quickly drags him back up and sends him off the ropes once again, this time taking him over with a hiptoss. He slaps his chest and screams "COME ON!" to a loud cheer from the crowd. COLE Whoa, look at Prince! I think you were right, Coach. COACH B-but, I was kidding! Killings looks to the crowd, nodding and slowly draws his thumb across his throat. "YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE Look at this! Prince wants to finish it right now. Prince drags Knight up to his feet and hooks him in a front facelock. COLE Front facelock. What's he going for here? Prince grins and nods his head to recognize the cheers.....but he suddenly looks confused. He looks down at Knight in the hold and scratches his head with his free hand, seemingly unable to remember what to do next. Laughter ripples through the crowd. CABOOSE Oh, just shoot me now. COACH Hey now, that front facelock is a deadly move because you can transition into so many moves off of it. A suplex, a DDT, a guillotine choke, all sorts of moves. I'm sure Prince is just figuring out which one to use because there's just so many choices. COLE WILL YOU STOP?! Knight takes advantage of Killings' memory lapse and backs him into the corner, releasing himself from the hold. He sits Killings on the top rope and turns, grabbing his wrists and flipping him off the turnbuckles to the mat. He quickly drags him to his feet and hoists him up into a fireman's carry. He looks up and shakes his head at Killings before spinning him off his shoulders and sending him to the mat with a Knightmare. He covers. 1....... 2....... 3! *DING DING* COACH He did it again! Knight rolls off Killings and sarcastically wipes the sweat off his brow as Metalingus plays and Patrick hands him his belt. BUFFER Lllladies and gentlemen, your winner and STILL the OAOAST Heavyweight Champion of the WOOOOOOOOORLD....Peterrrrrrr Kniiiiiiiight! Knight raises the belt into the air and puts up two fingers, indicating how many people he has defeated. He walks up to the camera. KNIGHT That's two. And Alf, at AngleMania, that will be you too! COLE I think Alf is going to pose a bit more of a threat than Prince Killings. We're wasting money training this guy? COACH It wasn't his training that led to his downfall. Guy just needs to improve his memory. Cole On the lighter side of the news and speaking of our champion. Caboose What is this? ABC Nightly? Cole Errmmm. As I was saying, it seems that Stephen Joseph is finding new ways to continue to be apart of our OAOAST programming without actually being here. Coach And I HATE it! Cole Let's show you fans what's right across the street. WHOOOSH~! A Camera pans outside, and outside is an empty lots with trees! And a Billboard! CABOOSE Hey wait.....if that billboard is right across the street and we're in Hawaii....then why does it look like it's winter? COLE Oh.....yeah, there's a perfectly logical explanation for that. You see.... Commercial break COLE Whew! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted February 24, 2006 (Backstage we see Christian Wright, outfitted in the finest of Nordstrom bought suits, standing in front the Chicks Over Dicks dressing room. It appears that Wright, who's holding a baseball bat, has enlisted the services of one of our cameras to take part in whatever convoluted scheme he's cooked up.) CHRISTIAN WRIGHT Salutations to my loyal viewing audience! It is I, Christian Wright, maven of morality, emperor of ethics, and champion of chastity! I have commandeered this recording apparatus for purposes that I must confess are not entirely innocent in their nature. But while the morally numbed mind of the layman may see my future actions as deplorable and unfitting of a man of my upstanding constitution, those who look past the shallow surface shall see that my motives are steeped in unwavering virtue! In fact, I, the OAOAST moral high-ground, HI-YAH heavyweight champion of the world, and soon to be defeater of Zack Malibu, Christian Wright, have dutifully prepar... MARTY THE CAMERA MAN (off screen because he's holding the camera. Duh!) Man, get to the point, it's only a two hour show! WRIGHT Then what remains of that two hours will be tirelessly devoted to showcasing my crusade against the perversion of ethics put forth by the harlots who lie behind this door, Chicks Over Dicks! My sad hours have stretched into tortured days as I still feel the virulent sting of the disgraceful slap Alix Spezia laid upon my fair skin. The wound she struck against my person has descended into the deepest bays of my agonized soul, imploring me to take wrathful vengeance against this sexually indiscriminate bimbo. Follow me, Martin, as I, OAOAST moral highground, HI-YAH Heavyweight Champion, and soon to be defeater of Zack Malibu, Christian Wright, see fit to slay this profaner of the OAOAST. MARTY (mumbling) I knew I shouldn't have dropped out of law school. (While Marty contemplates quietly setting the camera and making a run for it, Christian Wright, baseball bat in tow, barges into the dressing room. Immediately he's greeted by the saucy aroma of southwestern food wafting up his nostrils. The alluring scents temporarily disarm the snobbish villain as he gazes around the room. Unfortunately we can't gaze around the room, because Marty, ever the cheeky little monkey, has decided to focus the camera's attention on Alix Spezia BUTT. However thanks to the prodding of Wright, Marty eventually reshifts his focus from Alix's tushy, to rest of the locker room. We're able to see that Al and Los Diablos De Fuego have expertly converted the spacious area into an efficiently run makeshift kitchen! Wearing cute little matire'd outfits, Los Diablos scurry about the room, sprinkling seasoning in various pots and performing various culinary tasks. Alix seems to be the brains behind this operation, outfitted in a chef's hat and an apron that reads Kiss me I'm Irish. Which isn't true. She's actually half Italian and half Spanish. Krista is nowhere to be seen. Smart woman.) MARIACHI Hola, Senor! ALIX Hey a visitor who's not from INS! Hi there! Can I help ya? WRIGHT (pointing his bat at Alix) Prepare yourself, vile seductress, for an occurrence of utmost import draws near! ALIX Oh! You discovered the location of Eisenhower's brain! Goodie! Come on boys let's get our shovels, we've got diggin' to do! WRIGHT Stay in your places, flea bags! Alix Spezia, do you not recognize the resentful face of the man you've sinned against? ALIX Oh, I remember you. Yessir. Ya know, Lee-Lee tried to talk to me about you. Boy, did he get worked up! Something about exposing him as a pornstar, smashing a lava lamp over his head, costing him his X division title, whatever. I just had to say; Ya know, I'm sure it's a really sad story, babe, but this bed is only gonna vibrate for two more minutes before I gotta drop in another quarter. So why don't you make like Elvis and have a little less conversation, so we can make like Marvin Gaye and starting getting it on, because I feel like Barry White 'cause I can't get enough of your love, baby. But, yeah, he didn't have many nice things to say aboutcha, dude. Unless “shit eating, pole smoking, asshole” is some new kinda compliment I haven't been tipped off to. WRIGHT (chuckling to himself) Yes, your “Lee-Lee” and I have had our share of skirmishes, as it were. Though I must confess, he often tends to be the party emerging with the scrapes and scars of a sound thrashing! ALIX Uh-huh. I know we got off to a hella bad start with you killing the heat of my rockin' segment two weeks ago by saying a bunch of words no one understood, and calling me a tramp and all that. And I'm pretty sure I have the right to be super mad at you, but what the world needs now is love, sweet love. And although I could probably never love someone quite as dorky as you, I would be willing to let you be my sugar daddy. While I won't have sex with you, you should feel free to buy me lots of expensive stuff. Ya know, I figure the whole interview incident was result of you being intimidated by my beauty. Why wouldn't you be? I'm a total babe and you're a total loser. Like, if we were to combine ourselves into a popular website that superficially reduces human beauty to a quick and cold numerical value judgment of someone's worth as a person in a sly effort to undercut society's collective self-esteem, I'd be the hot, and you'd be the not. I'm not so sure who would be the or. Anyway, why don't you and I at least try to be friends? I mean, you're just in time! WRIGHT In time for what, dare I ask? ALIX For cooking with Alix, silly! Mariachi, Moracca, seat this gentlemen! (Amidst his weakly stated protest, Los Diablos usher Wright to a table, but not before they cop a feel in the process!) ALIX Mexicans are great aren't they? I was just talking with my good friend Nicole Richie and we both agreed that everyone should have one. I mean, she didn't really say she agreed. She more kinda said “How did you get into my house, you crazy bitch! I'm calling the cops!” But you could tell the agreement was totally there. And as the cops dragged me away, she said “I'll see you in court!” Can you believe that? A date with Nicole? Gnarly! Never heard of this Court place, though. Must be a new club! Anyway onto Cooking with Alix! So what do ya want to eat dude, dude? You can have anything your pretty heart desires as long as what your pretty heart desires is chili! WRIGHT Why is that you only have chili? ALIX Well, my plan is to market and sell this chili all over the world! See, Krista's got her exercise videos, so why can't I have my chili? My chili puts ten pounds on your BUTT, and Krista's videos knock it right off! Anywho, I got the idea 'cause Grandma Spezia had this closely guarded chili recipe that she always said I'd have to pry out of her cold dead head hands to get. Well this Sunday turned out to be my lucky day, because when I went over to Grandma's house, what did I see before me but a murder/suicide! It looked like Grandpa Spezia finally made good on his “One day, one day, one too many days” threat and BAM, no more Thanksgiving at Grandma and Grandpa's! So I stepped over the dead bodies and scored the sweet recipe. Now, I'm gonna cooky-cook my way to culinary stardom! I know Grandma's looking up at me and is just so proud right now. WRIGHT Looking up? ALIX That woman's gotta be in hell. But you're gonna be in heaven once you taste this orgasm of flavor! WRIGHT I suppose I can indulge your culinary amusements as an appetizer to indulging in my own violent delectation. Very well. Service the HI-YAH heavyweight champion, and be quick about it, lazy dogs! MORACCA Chupame la polla!! (Mariachi giddily sets a bowl of the delicious chili in front of the OAOAST's moral highground. With baited breath, Los Diablos and Alix watch as Wright takes skeptical a taste of the fine product. Much to everyone's delighted surprise, he doesn't regurgitate it immediately upon swallowing it. In fact his overjoyed taste buds betray his desire to put down Alix and force him to down several more eager spoonfuls. Yet it's only mere seconds after his euphoric first bite that something appears to have gone wrong. His face grimacing in an understated agony, the snooty grappler begins to slowly paw at his throat, unsure of what ails him. Unfortunately Alix is too wrapped up in her visions of being the next Rachel Ray to notice that her award winning chili may be hammering the first nail in Wright's coffin!) ALIX Really, the only thing I need is a name for it.... (Wright's moment of uncertainty passes, and he goes into full on panic mode, feeling a mischievous piece of meat waging a brutal war on his trachea. Wrought with panic, he frantically shoots himself out of his chair and clutches his throat) MARTY Hey, man, are you ok? You don't look too hot. ALIX A really good name. Something unique. Something bold. WRIGHT (pounding the table with his free hand) SHIT! SWEET MOTHER OF MERCY! I'M FUCKING DYING HERE! GOD DAMN IT! SON OF A BITCH! I'LL KILL YOU FUCKERS! ALIX I dunno, Christian. That doesn't really have the catchy sort of zing I'm looking for in a name. Let me try it in a jingle. (singing) It's yummy, it's spicy, it's tangy , it's zippy, it's salty, it's snappy, it's altogether tastey, it's “SHIT! SWEET MOTHER OF MERCY! I'M FUCKING DYING HERE! GOD DAMN IT! SON OF A BITCH! I'LL KILL YOU FUCKERS!” Hmmm. I just don't think that's gonna work, babe. (Unfortunately Wright's spirited tantrum merely made an easily correctable situation more grievous, as all the excess movement forced down that tiny slab of meat, and now he really is choking! His face turning several shades of blue, Wright sinks onto the table, and desperately clutches onto a napkin as he can fill the treacherous chili making a winning bid to end his days. His speech becomes non existent and his movements turn erratic as he starts to see his life flash before his hazel eyes. He turns towards a confused Alix, desperately pointing at his throat, begging her to aid him in his time of crisis. Ever the helpful one Ally immediately springs to his aid, saving his life with the Heimlich manuveuer! After reconciling himself with his near death experience Wright, slightly humbled, resumes speaking.) WRIGHT (speaking softly, still trying to gather his voice.) Because you have saved my life, I shall repay you in kind and spare your's. For now. ALIX Oooooh! Somebody named Christian has a crush on somebody named Mariachi, but that somebody named Christian is probably pretty uncomfortable with his latent feelings of homosexuality, so we'll pretend that somebody named Christian has a crush on somebody named Alix! And that somebody named is Alix is me! Cool! Is it because I saved you from a trip down to meet my Grandma? This is kinda like the original Back to the Future in reverse. Ya know where Lea Thompson had to take care of that Michael J Fox dude because her dad ran him over him with his car. So then Lea nursed him back to health and like tried to put the mac on him. But he got all uptight because he was like her son from the future and he didn't wanna make out with his mommy. But I don't really see what the issue is, I've done it, you get used to it after the third or fourth time. And my mom isn't even half as hot as Lea Thompson! WRIGHT Be silent and listen! Rather then physically eradicate you in front of this audience of three, as was my original intent, I will instead mentally dominate your languid mind in front an audience of millions. I, Christian Wright issue, you, Alix Maria Spezia, a simple challenge. Next week I wish to meet you in the honored confines of the OAOAST ring, not for a contest of fisticuffs, mind you, but for a carefully judged battle of intelligence and ideals. ALIX Sorry, can you repeat what you just said? I sorta left my pompous jerk-off to English dictionary at home. WRIGHT Useless call girl! I am challenging you to a debate! A debate! Are you capable of understanding what a debate is? Next week on HeldDOWN, not only will the world see me celebrate my sensational defeat of Zack Malibu, they shall witness you and I opposing each other over the topic of role modeling. What say you to this proposition? ALIX Oooooh, a debate! That'll be fun, fun, fun! Can I pick the guest menstruator? WRIGHT The what!? I believe you are thinking of a mediator. MARTY I think you both mean moderator. ALIX Can I pick him? Huh? Huh? Can I? WRIGHT Select whatever social miscreant you so desire to play the role of mediator. But be warned, that it shan't make a lick of difference. The outcome will forever remain an intellectual slaughter on the scale of my physical decimation of Zack Malibu at Zero Hour. (Christian takes his leave and we go BACK TO SC) COACH Christian Wright it not only a proud warrior but as we can see he's a fine scholar as well! Such a man, such a man. And ladies he's single! CABOOSE Ugh. You've done the impossible, Coach. COACH Whassat? CABOOSE You've made me regret taking a trip to Hawaii. Punishment by BIOHAZARD hits and Rick Heyross leads Charlie Moss to the ring. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and is for the OAOAST Heartland championship! Introducing first, the challenger, hailing from Minneapolis, Minnesota, weighing in at 245 pounds...CHARLIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMOSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!! COLE Well, last week, Alf was able to successfully defend his title against one half of Team Heyross, Quentin Benjamin! This week, it's the other half of the team making the challenge! Magnum Opus: Father Padilla Meets the Perfect Gnat/Howling at the Moon hits and Alf comes through the curtains. COLE And the Hawaiians rise to their feet for the Heartland champion! BUFFER His opponent, weighing in at 240 pounds...the former WORLD Heavyweight champion, and the REIGNING and DEFENDING OAOAST Heartland champion...ALFDOGG!!!!! Alf slides into the ring and poses on the buckles with belt in hand, then hands it to the referee. *DING DING DING* Alf circles the ring with Moss, and goes in with a rear waistlock. COACH I think Alf's making a mistake right here trying to match Charlie Moss with mat wrestling! Moss does a standing switch, then takes him down to the mat. Alf scoots to a sitting position in attempt to escape. Moss switches to a chinlock. COACH See? Alf couldn't escape the holds! Alf works his way to his feet, and delivers a back suplex! CABOOSE Well, that'll help him escape! Alf runs to the rope, and catches Moss coming up with a Hart Attack clothesline! He then delivers another clothesline, sending Moss to the outside! Alf follows Moss outside with a plancha! COLE What a move by Alf! CABOOSE And this is what Alf's got to do, he's got to take it to the outside! He can't match this former NCAA champion hold-for-hold! Alf fires off right hands and tosses Moss back into the ring. Alf then goes underneath the ring. CABOOSE And Alf's going for the props! COACH Come on, ref, do something about this! COLE There's nothing he can do, there's no disqualifications! Alf tosses a trash can into the ring, which contains a kendo stick and a small street sign! He then grabs a lid and slides into the ring, but Moss catches him coming in with a kick to the head! Moss then drops an elbow, then grabs the lid from Alf and blasts him in the back of the head! COLE What a shot by Charlie Moss, and look at that trashcan lid! Moss covers... 1... 2... Kickout! COLE First cover of the match gets two for Charlie Moss! Moss then grabs the can, and waits on Alf to get up before blasting him over the head! CABOOSE And Alf really on rubberleg street now! Alf staggers, as Moss delivers another shot with the can, sending him to the mat! Moss drops a fist between the eyes, then covers... 1... 2... Kickout! Moss goes back over to the other side of the ring, and grabs the can again. Moss comes at Alf with the can, but Alf uses a front dropkick to knock it back into Moss! Alf falls back into a corner to catch his breath, and then grabs Moss, giving him a snap suplex! Alf then picks up Moss in an atomic drop position, and sets him on the top rope, then grabs him by the hair and pulls him backwards into a tree of woe position! COLE And Moss is tied up! COACH Get him out, ref! CABOOSE There's no rules, how many times do we have to tell you? You know, I think you'd look really good in that position! Alf grabs the kendo stick and holds it up in the air, provoking a big reaction from the crowd. Alf then walks over to the upside-down Moss and hammers him in the midsection with the stick! He then slides to the outside with the stick and chokes Moss with it, as the referee attempts to remove him. Alf lets go and gets back into the ring, grabbing the road sign that fell out of the trash can. COLE What could Alf have in store right here? Alf walks to the opposite corner, then runs across the ring and dropkicks the sign into the face of Moss! COLE WHAT A SHOT by Alf! Alf pulls Moss down out of the corner and covers... 1... 2... Moss gets a foot on the ropes! CABOOSE And it's a good thing for him that he *was* in the corner there! Alf picks up Moss and whips him into the opposite corner, but Moss gets his feet up on a charge! Moss picks up Alf's legs and puts his own feet on the ropes... 1... 2... Alf kicks out anyway! Moss hammers Alf on the back, and then walks over and grabs the sign, smacking Alf in the back of the head! Moss then grabs the trash can and sets it in the center of the ring, before giving Alf a vertical suplex right in top of it! Moss covers... 1... 2... Kickout! COACH And Moss has got something going here now! Moss picks up Alf and delivers an STO BACKBREAKER~! Moss then rolls Alf over onto his stomach. COLE Could be setting up the bow-and-arrow hold here! And indeed, Moss plants the knees into the back and rolls over, converting a BOW-AND-ARROW hold~! Moss wrenches back on the hold, then leans over, putting Alf's shoulders on the mat... 1... 2... Alf bridges up, and Moss rolls back over, re-applying the submission hold. Alf hangs on, but his arms are free, and he manages to get one up and gouge the eyes of Moss, forcing him to release the hold! COACH What a cheap way to escape that hold by Alf! Moss stays on Alf, and sets him up for a suplex, but Alf reverses to a small package! 1... 2... NO! Moss kicks out! COLE Alf almost able to escape with the win right there! Moss picks up Alf and gives him a belly-to-belly suplex! He then goes to the second rope... COLE Not often we see this from Charlie... Moss comes off, but Alf rolls out of the way of the senton attempt! Both men are down, but Moss struggles to his feet first. Alf ducks a superkick, and delivers one of his own! CABOOSE Alf's got his second wind! Alf delivers an overhead belly-to-belly, then looks up to see Brock Ausstin standing in the entryway! COLE And there you see Alf's challenger this Sunday at Zero Hour, getting a bird's eye view of this match! Alf points to Brock, then signals for the end. CABOOSE And Alf's going to show him how a champion conducts his business, right now! Alf takes Moss over with a T-Bone suplex! He then picks Moss up, and whips him into the ropes, planting him with a AA SPINEBUSTER~! He holds onto the legs, and hooks Moss in a SHARPSHOOTER~!!!111 COLE Sharpshooter locked in! Brock starts a slow walk to the ring, as Alf looks him down while hanging onto the hold! Moss struggles to reach the ropes, but ultimately has no choice but to TAP OUT~! COACH NO! COLE And Charlie Moss taps out! *DING DING DING* BUFFER The winner of the match, and STILL OAOAST Heartland champion...ALFDOGG!!!!! Alf continues looking at Brock, as the referee hands him his belt, and then raises it in the air as Brock claps sarcastically and Magnum Opus: Father Padilla Meets the Perfect Gnat/Howling at the Moon plays. COLE But will Alf be raising that belt in the air after meeting Brock Ausstin this Sunday? Only time will tell! We'll be back from Hawaii. 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KingPK 0 Report post Posted February 24, 2006 COLE Welcome back to Hawaiian HeldDOWN everyone. Before we go on, I've just been handed this note from the front office concerning Zero Hour, a match just finalized! COACH That's right, it's going to be a Fatal Four-way match, with both members of Team Heyross meeting Thunderkid & Reject, and the winner receiving the first shot at whoever the Heartland champion may be after Zero Hour, right here next week on HeldDOWN~! CABOOSE And that should be an exciting match! Our view is transported outside the venue where we find Krista Isadora Duncan sitting on the curb smoking a cigarette, waxing her surfboard, and relaxing in the cool island evening. However, in what seems to be a weekly occurrence here on HeldDOWN~!, Krissy's treasured moment of solitude is interrupted by the arrival of a bothersome guest. This time meddlesome party is one Jade Rodez, sister of Leon Rodez. JADE Uh...Miss Duncan? Shocked by the intrusion, Krista lets her surfboard drop from her hands in fright. KRISTA Oh! You startled me. Jesus Christ. Thank god I'm wearing yellow pants. I hope you know what to do if I have a heart attack. Did you know heart disease is the leading cause of death for women? I'll be speaking on that topic at UCLA if you're interested. Oh, where are my manners? Hi, Jade. For some confusing reason, Jade's face brightens like a Christmas tree. KRISTA Are you okay? JADE You...you..remembered...my...name! You didn't need any clues or prompts! I didn't have to say starts with a J and ends with an ade! You just came right out and said my name! Wow! My name has never sounded so beautiful before. Jaaaaade. Oooooh. Thank you so very much Miss Duncan! Wow! Jaaaaaade. KRISTA I knew I should've called you Jill. From the way you're acting I feel I ought to offer you a bottle of Ritalin and a restraining order. But I have neither the crooked inner city doctor nor the overpriced shyster straight out of USC law school available to facilitate those items. But I can offer you a Marlboro. Wanna smoke? JADE Oh no, Miss Duncan. Cigarettes can kill! KRISTA That's my hope. (Hoping Jade will take the silent hint to get lost, Krista goes back to working on her board. Jade, however, doesn't quite pick up on Krissy's not so subtle clues.) JADE Hey, who's surfboard is that? KRISTA (holding her board and looking at Jade with puzzlement on her face) It's mine. JADE You...surf? Wow! Aren't you kind of... KRISTA Kind of what? (Not having the social grace to backtrack out of her comments, Jade continues to inadvertently insult Krista) JADE You know...old? (Sighing inwardly, Krista sets her surfboard back to the ground.) KRISTA Okay, Good Ol JR, clever play on your initials, tell me what Krista Isadora Duncan can do for you? I mean surely you didn't just come out here to remind me that I'm old enough to remember Gladys Knight before she looked like she ate all the Pips. So, what's up? JADE (nervousness forcing her to speak softly) I....I..well..uh...I was...um.. KRISTA To quote the highbrow Oscar Worthy comedy Billy Madison “Ta..ta..ta...today, junior!” (feeling a sharp pang of guilt, Krista remorsefully shakes her head) God, I can be such an asshole. I'm sorry. Just tell me what's wrong, kiddo. JADE Your tag title match at Zero Hour. Um, if it's not that big a deal, can I maybe come on down to the ring with you and Alix? KRISTA (taken aback by the request) Now why would you want to do a thing like that? JADE Uh...I kind of thought with that Jim Cornette guy at ringside, you might kind of need someone who can maybe keep things..uh..under control? Maybe. I don't know. Jeez. I know that I don't have the hottest record when it comes to wrestling. But Jim Cornette's no Molly Matthews, I..I..think I could deal with him. KRISTA Forget Molly Matthews, Jim's no Dave Matthews. He is in bad shae. Jim Cornette is one KFC Snackers combo away from a cardiac arrest and a "HeldDOWN is Corny" tribute show. He's the one who needs your help. Maybe you can dress up as an EMT and shock him back to life when the good lord does us all a favor and decides he's swung his last racket. The only thing I need to stop fat body is a bucket of drumsticks, some biscuits and a bottle of Mylanta. The dude's forty five years old and looks like he's sixty five. His face has got more wrinkles, cracks, and marks, then the stretched out ass of a day shift lap dancer at Larry Flynt's hustler club. Every time I see Jimmy I hear Bob Dylan singing in my head. “Knock, knock, knocking on heaven's door”. Every time he sees me he hears The Beatles “Help! I need somebody! Help! I need somebody!” JADE Um, I don't know who Bob Dylan is. KRISTA While that makes me weep for the future of America, it's not terribly important right now. What is important is that Jim Cornette doesn't even pose a threat to a baby with a bad cough. And you and I both know that. You're trying to ask me an embarrassing question without sounding too stupid. That's pretty hard to do. So why don't you go ahead and tell me the real reason you want be at ringside? (Jade sits down next to Krista, and after a moment's pause and a heavy sigh she finally admits the truth) JADE Ned. KRISTA Ah-ha. Go on. JADE I know that some people think I should toughen up and get over what he did to me. But I'm not that a strong person. I'm not the type who can just wake up and decide I'm gonna forget about how that sleazeball had me pinned against the wall, fearing for my safety, praying to god that I'd make it through the ordeal unharmed. I don't have some magic on/off switch I can use to flip off all the memories. If I did, I would've turned them off in a silly minute. But these feelings and the fear just won't go away. They're sticking with me like a cancer. I don't know. Maybe, I'm just being dumb. KRISTA (lighting another cigarette) You're not being dumb. Not at all. (Krista's plainly stated comment puts a genuine smile on Jade's lips.) JADE Um, thanks. Well, there are times when I'm at the arenas and I'm just walking down a hallway full of people, and they're smiling at me and they're waving at me and they're being so polite, but I can't return their courtesy because all I can do is keep nervously looking over my shoulder because I keep thinking that he's there waiting to hurt me. That he's gonna turn his tough talk into tough action and I'm gonna pay the price of me being a woman and him being an asshole. It's just so hard. I don't have anyone to talk to. Leon doesn't get angry, he doesn't understand me. I try to talk to Alix, and she's the nicest person I know, and she's sweet, but she doesn't really get it. You understand me, Krista. I know you do. You're the only one who really knows what it's like to absolutely despise someone, to hate Ned. God, I feel bad for saying this but want to watch him suffer. I have this horrible need to watch him hurt. I want to be right there raising your hand, when he's stirring back to life, and he starts to realize that you and Alix have been crowned the tag team champions. I want to see him get what he deserves, and you get what you deserve. I know I'm asking a lot but can I please be out there? KRISTA I don't know. If I say yes will you promise not to hug or touch me in anyway? JADE Yeah. KRISTA In that case my answer is yes. You can come down with us. JADE I lied! KRISTA Wha... (Before Krista can finish that thought, Jade wraps her arms around her for an appreciative hug! Muttering under her breath, Krista complains about the wrinkling of her expensive shirt that took forever to iron) JADE Thank you so much, Miss Duncan! Your the best around! KRISTA (singing) And no one's ever gonna bring me down. JADE Huh? KRISTA It's from a song. Joe Espizitio? You're the best? From Karate Kid? You don't know what Karate Kid is do you? Nevermind. (Krista sighs) Time for me to tell you a little story about the man who's got you so worried. So, you tell me you're afraid. You think you're scared? I bet you really are, but take solace in what I'm about to tell you. Ned Blanchard is a lie. This trumped up Handsome Hustler persona is just a mask to shield the helpless boy he's become. He talked a good word last week, sitting in front of the Hollywood sign, pretending like he's somebody important, acting like people give a damn about a word that comes out of his lips. But anybody could detect the sorrow, the desperation in his voice when he claimed he'd never let me take his tag team title. In his own warped mind if I take his belt, I take more then a championship, I strip away everything that he is. I take away all that he has left. JADE (nodding enthusiastically) That's good! He deserves it! KRISTA Maybe so. But imagine living your life with the knowledge that your entire reason for existing, the sole object that defines your very being, the one thing that let's you know you're still alive, can be robbed of you in three little seconds. That's Ned's life. Some people live day to day. Ned lives pinfall to pinfall, second to second. He is paralyzed with fear of the frightening knowledge that the only thing that separates him from a life without meaning is three beats of a referee's hand. One. Two. Three. Gone. Ned Blanchard ceases to exist. Jade, I can look to my daughter and I know that as long as I have her, I will always feel, my life will always have purpose and I will always be alive. Ned is very different. He's turned on and abused every last person who's shown him even a sliver of kindness. This so called Handsome Hustler is just a souless child who endures hours of unending loneliness. He has no family, he has no friends, his sole contact with his own flesh and blood is a birthday card that arrives three month's too late. Ned Blanchard's only true link to this world is a cold hunk of metal that's even more unfaithful then he. All Ned can do is get on his knees and pray that he never hears the words “And new tag team champions!” Because when he does he might as well be dead. A wiser woman then I would be wary of Ned, because no one fights as hard as a man who's living on the edge of nothingness. JADE Do you feel bad for him at all? KRISTA I feel sorry for the man he used to be. But there is no hint of that sweet spirit left in the miserable husk we see today. Now he's just a monster. He broke your spirit, he tried to break Holly's neck, and he broke my heart. And in my hometown of Los Angeles, California, I will break his. (Back to SC) COACH Damn, I thought we were going to see some ladies tonsil boxing there for a minute. CABOOSE ....You really know how to ruin a moment, don't you? The camera cuts to the parking lot where John “Rock Hard” Brickston is waiting. The crowd cheers. Brickston paces back and forth, a pissed off look on his face. COLE That’s John “Rock Hard” Brickston! CABOOSE Thanks for reminding me. Jackass. COLE He must be waiting for someone. Could he be waiting for Vitamin X? COACH Maybe. If he is, he better pray Vitamin X goes easy on him! COLE What? __________________________ __________________________ __________________________ Next, here is another short John "Rock Hard" Brickston AND the Vitamin X promo. They go together, so place them together. Place these segments sometime in the middle of the show, a few segments after the first Brickston segment. That's all I'm sending you for now. I'll send you The Love Shack segment either later tonight or tomorrow morning. Anyway, without further ado, here are the two segments. Enjoy: The camera cuts to the parking lot again. John “Rock Hard” Brickston is still pacing back and forth with a pissed off expression on his face. The crowd cheers. COLE John Brickston is still out in the parking lot, waiting for somebody. CABOOSE He’s waiting for Vitamin X. He’s definitely waiting for Vitamin X! JOHN “ROCK HARD” BRICKSTON Where is that little— Suddenly a limousine pulls into the parking lot. The crowd starts booing. John Brickston power walks towards the limo. COLE I think John Brickston has found who he was looking for! CABOOSE Look out, VX! John Brickston is coming after you! A door opens, and John Brickston enters the limo. There is a commotion inside the limousine, the crowd wondering what’s going on. After several seconds of yelling and cursing, John Brickston comes out of the limousine carrying…some guy (NOT Some Guy). The dude is a small, skinny fella wearing T-shirt and jeans. The guy is terrified of John Brickston. Brickston holds the dude up by his T-shirt. JOHN “ROCK HARD” BRICKSTON WHERE’S VITAMIN X? GUY I DON’T KNOW, DUDE! I DON’T KNOW! JOHN BRICKSTON UGH! Brickston puts the dude down. He slaps him upside the head. That’s enough for the small dude to run away. BRICKSTON Damnit! Where is he? Where is he? CABOOSE John Brickston is a bully! Look at how he tortured that poor little guy! He’s nothing more but a big bully! COLE Well, we now know that John Brickston is looking for Vitamin X. Will he find him tonight? KA-CHING~!* *Come and take your Vitamin X.* COACH Well speak of the devil! “Bling-Bling” by The B.G. featuring The Big Tymers and Hot Boys starts playing, which causes the crowd to boo loudly. The entrance doors slide open, and Vitamin X comes out, doing the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle. Dollar signs are superimposed over the entrance ramp as he walks to the ring, bobbing his head to the beat of his entrance song. X is wearing a white button down collar shirt, a gold chain around his neck, a $500 Rolex watch, black dress pants, and black dress shoes. COLE We are now about to be joined by Vitamin X, who has had quite the last few weeks. It all started at Anglepalooza when Vitamin X and Cuban Wall, Brains & Brawn, defeated Spanish Fly and John “Rock Hard” Brickston in a Tag Team Tables Match. Then later on that night, VX SCREWED Colombian Heat out of the 24/7 Title. CABOOSE I still love that moment. What a great night. COLE Vitamin X has drawn the ire of John “Rock Hard” Brickston, while at the same time he has been making disperaging remarks about Colombian Heat. X has TWO men gunning for him, and with the way Vitamin X is, you have to wonder if he knows what he’s doing. COACH Vitamin X is not afraid. He’ll take care of both John Brickston AND Colombian Heat soon enough. Vitamin X jaws with the fans, and then hops onto a second turnbuckle, and crosses his arms in an X. The crowd boos loudly. COLE Last week on HeldDOWN~!, Brains & Brawn took on John Brickston and Leon Rodez. John Brickston had the match won for his team, but Tha Puerto Rican interfered for the disqualification. Afterwards, The Lightning Crew did a beatdown on Brickston and Rodez with Vitamin X giving John Brickston the anklelock! COACH Vitamin X showed once again why he is one of the greatest wrestlers alive today. He took down the 6’6” 215 pound John Brickston and embarrassed him by giving him his own finishing maneuver! How many men have been able to take down John Brickston? Besides Tha Puerto Rican, none! THAT’S how great Vitamin X is! He is a giant killer! VX hops off the second turnbuckle into the ring. He does another Shane-O-Mac Shuffle as “Bling-Bling” continues playing. X calls for a microphone. COLE I don’t know about that. Vitamin X was terrified of Brickston throughout the match. He refused to be in the same ring as him. COACH WHAT? That’s preposterous! Vitamin X ain’t afraid of John “Rock Hard” Brickston! No way! Vitamin X grabs a microphone. He stands in the ring, sneering at the crowd. “Bling-Bling” by The B.G. featuring The Big Tymers and Hot Boys dies down. The crowd is still booing. COLE Well, John Brickston has been looking for Vitamin X all night. Now he’s in the ring. CABOOSE John Brickston is terrified to face Vitamin X. VITAMIN X Will somebody please tell John “Rock Hard” Brickston that I’m not out in the parking lot, but I’m right here? Of course, since John “SUCK HARD” Brickston is a stupid musclehead, I’m sure that he’s going to need somebody to direct him to the ring! CABOOSE HA! HA! COLE Oh please. VX Now let me first, quickly, focus my attention on all of you pieces of lower class filth, the “fine” fans here in the One And Only AngleSault Thread. You see, for months now, I’ve been coming out here and I’ve been hearing this chant that “X’S A…” I’m a… “X’S A PUSS-SEE!” *Clap Clap Clapclapclap* “X’S A PUSS-SEE!” *Clap Clap Clapclapclap* “X’S A PUSS-SEE!” *Clap Clap Clapclapclap* “X’S A PUSS-SEE!” *Clap Clap Clapclapclap* VX Yeah. That’s it. X’S…A PUSSY! The crowd pops, glad that VX has finally acknowledged the truth. COACH Bastards. All of them. VX Now, before I take great exception to that remark, I consulted Webster’s Dictionary, and the word is clearly defined in the dictionary as…a cat. So, NOW I understand why you people call me that. Because I AM quick as a cat! Cause I’ve got the moves and ferocity of a jungle cat! (VX starts doing the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle.) Deep down inside, you people really DO like me! That’s why you say I’m a pussy, because that’s your way of telling me I’m great! CABOOSE Hey, he’s right! VITAMIN X (CONT’D) So, this jungle cat is feeling a little frisky. So frisky that I, Vitamin X, will be challenging, right now, John “Rock Hard” Brickston, to a one-on-one match this Sunday at Zero Hour! COLE Whoa! What a match! The crowd pops for this announcement. VX is still doing the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle. VX And oh yeah, this match will be decided under No Disqualification rules! So, Brickston (VX stops doing the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle), after I kick your ass six ways from Sunday, and pin you 1-2-3, and you are lying flat here on the canvas, looking up at those bright lights up in the sky; as this jungle cat does the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle down the aisle victorious, the only question, Brickston, that will be left in that lobotomized brain of yours will be, “Why? Why did I accept this match? Why did I agree to a No Disqualification Match against Vitamin X? I am no match for the jungle cat. I am no match for The X-Man. I am John Brickston and I SUCK HARD!” *Give me fuel Give me fire Give me that which I desire!* “Fuel” by Metallica starts playing, causing the crowd to cheer loudly. COLE Uh-oh. Oh my. John Brickston has found Vitamin X! The entrance doors slide open, and through the smoke comes John “Rock Hard” Brickston, a microphone in his hands. The crowd cheers louder. VX gulps, but soon resumes acting tough. CABOOSE This big galoot has no idea what he’s in for this Sunday! Vitamin X will wipe the floor with him! John Brickston prepares to speak as “Fuel” by Metallica dies down. JOHN “ROCK HARD” BRICKSTON Wow. You know what? You know what? You have just made my day. You have! Seriously! I mean, think about it. I don’t have to hunt you down now. I’ve got you right where I want you, and I WILL kick your ass at Zero Hour! You say you’re a cat, right? VX nods. BRICKSTON You’re a cat with nine lives? VX nods again. BRICKSTON Well at Zero Hour on February 26th, I can’t tell you, I’m not a cat, but I’ll tell you just who the Hell I am! I AM JOHN “ROCK HARD” BRICKSTON! And I will kick your stinkin’ teeth in this Sunday at Zero Hour! The crowd cheers. CABOOSE All talk, no action! COACH I agree! CABOOSE Shut up Coach, or I'll stab you with a Q-tip! John Brickston thinks about something. JOHN “ROCK HARD” BRICKSTON You know, matter of fact, why should I wait until Zero Hour? I think right now I’m gonna cash in a few of your lives right now with my foot in your ass! John Brickston drops his microphone and walks down the entrance ramp. The crowd cheers, anxiously awaiting the asskicking. Vitamin X tries to beg Brickston not to hurt him, but Brickston isn’t paying attention. COLE And here we go! John Brickston is coming after Vitamin X! BRICKSTON You’re going down, bitch! Brickston enters the ring, and as soon as he does, Vitamin X zooms out of the ring up the entrance ramp! VX trips a few times, but manages to escape through the entrance. The crowd boos. John Brickston curses at X. CABOOSE Oh well, Brickston! I guess you’re going to have to wait till Sunday! HA! HA! John Brickston exits the ring and walks up the entrance ramp. Brickston exits through the entrance. COLE Well, we now have another match added to Zero Hour! Vitamin X vs. John “Rock Hard” Brickston in a No Disqualification Match! COACH I can’t wait for that one, Michael Cole! Vitamin X has shown in the past that he has no fear, which is why he WILL win this Sunday! CABOOSE Definitely. That big galoot, John “SUCK HARD” Brickston is no match for the jungle cat, Vitamin X! VX will use his catlike reflex to beat John Brickston this Sunday. He will— COLE Hey! Wait a minute! The entrance doors slide open again, and John “Rock Hard” Brickston comes out with Vitamin X in tow! Vitamin X squirms, trying to escape, but Brickston is holding onto him tight! COACH Now come on! This isn’t right! Wait till Sunday! John Brickston smiles at the crowd, and then looks at the entrance. Brickston grabs Vitamin X…and THROWS HIM BACK FIRST INTO THE ENTRANCE SET! COLE Oh my God! Vitamin X slumps to the ground! He is in a tremendous amount of pain. The crowd cheers loudly. John “Rock Hard” Brickston trash talks Vitamin X, giving him the “You can’t see me!” hand gesture. “Fuel” by Metallica starts playing. Brickston plays to the cheering crowd, and then exits through the entrance, stepping on Vitamin X’s stomach along the way. VX is groggy as he lies on the entrance stage. COLE I can’t believe what I just saw! Vitamin X was thrown into the entrance set by John “Rock Hard” Brickston! COACH That monster! How DARE he do such a thing? He’s trying to soften Vitamin X up before their No Disqualification Match this Sunday at Zero Hour! He’s trying to gain the advantage heading into Zero Hour! COLE John “Rock Hard” Brickston has sent a message loud and clear to Vitamin X. He’s ready to face him in a No Disqualification Match this Sunday! Cuban Wall, Mr. Boricua, and Thomas Rodriguez come out to check on Vitamin X as “Fuel” continues playing. The three Lightning Crew members help the groggy VX up. Wall, Boricua, and Thomas all have worried looks on their faces. COLE Let’s take a look at the replay. The OAOAST HeldDOWN~! logo flashes across the screen. John “Rock Hard” Brickston throwing Vitamin X back first into the entrance set is shown four times, each one from a different camera angle. COLE We all just witness the brute strength of John Brickston! The 6’6” 215 pound John Brickston threw the 5’8” 248 pound Vitamin X into the entrance set back first! I think Brickston has gotten some payback for what happened last week! CABOOSE I hope John Brickston knows what he’s getting himself into. This Sunday at Zero Hour, Vitamin X, The X-Man, the jungle cat, will kick John “SUCK HARD” Brickston’s ass from one end of the arena to the other! I’m sure these people think that Vitamin X is dead meat this Sunday, but then again, all these people are pieces of lower class filth just like Colombian Heat! Vitamin X will beat John “Rock Hard” Brickston at Zero Hour! Mark my words! COLE Well, we’ll find out just who is the better man this Sunday. Vitamin X vs. John “Rock Hard” Brickston in a No Disqualification Match this Sunday, February 26th, at Zero Hour! Mr. Boricua, Cuban Wall, and Thomas Rodriguez carry Vitamin X to the back. VX is sweating, breathing hard, and is dizzy. “Fuel” by Metallica continues playing. Commercial break Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted February 24, 2006 DING! DING! DING! BUFFER The following match is scheduled for ONE FALL! and is for THE MATCH AT ZERO HOUR BETWEEN RAGDOLL AND KEN BAKER!!! “SHAKE” CUE: “Shake That Ass” by The Lovemakers -The fans rise in a chorus of boos as the curtain opens. Out steps one of the most beaufiful women the OAOAST has ever seen, Josie Baker. Her damn near perfect body is accented by her tight black shorts and white t-shirt. She smiles a seductive one as she looks at the fans, just as Ken Baker steps out behind her, a cigarette hanging limply between his lips. The boos are almost inaudible, they’re so loud. BUFFER ”ENTERING FIRST! From Hollywood, California! Accompanied to the ring by the “Hell Rose from Melrose” Ken Baker!...The FORMER OAOAST HELDDOWN General Manager...JOSIE...BAAAAAAAAKER!! COLE Beauty and the Beast...Ken and Josie Baker... COACH ...Iiiiii don’t know if that’s the right order, buddy... -Josie slowly climbs into the ring, licking the middle rope as she steps in. Ken walks slowly around the ring towards the announcement table. COLE Looks like we’re getting company here! HELLO MR. BAKER! COACH Hello, sir! Good to have you here! -Ken sits down and puts on a headset, smiling towards his wife. KEN Hey, baby. COLE Hi! CABOOSE Oh, for the love of God... COACH Um...Ken...what do you have to say about tonight’s match? KEN To be honest, Coach, I don’t even know why we’re here...Jasmine isn’t gonna show. She’s back in Vegas licking her bitch’s wounds. COLE Now...I don’t mean to be rude, Ken, but... KEN Shut Up, Cole...Austin is so BUTT-hurt about what I did, that last I heard, he hasn’t left his trailer in the desert SINCE. COLE Who’d you here this from? KEN My mom. Get this...she said I did the RIGHT thing. She doesn’t even like Austin after that huge strain he left on our family during his whole, “I don’t get enough attention, I’ll get addicted to Heroin” phase. COACH I have to take Mama Baker’s word for it...Ragdoll and Jasmine WILL NOT SH... CUE: “Search and Destroy” by Iggy Pop -The fans erupt as the curtain flies open once again, revealing the best kept secret of Donegal, Ireland...JASMINE BAKER! KEN ...Well, fuck... COLE JASMINE BAKER IS HERE!! CABOOSE Who cares? She’s going to lose. -Jasmine takes off her jacket, revealing a blue running shorts and a teal t-shirt. She glares at Josie, who is smirking right back. Jasmine is mouthing obscenities to herself. KEN Ohhhhh, big man-girl up there...all I know is that no matter what she says up there, my girl is the dominant Baker. Jasmine has NOTHING. -Once again, the curtain opens...revealing none other than... RAGDOLL!~ The crowd are on their feet, jumping, crying, smiling, cheering at the sight of their hero. KEN ...Fuck! COLE AND THE ODDS HAVE BEEN EVENED!! COACH This doesn’t mean ANYTHING, Cole! It doesn’t mean anything! Ragdoll is too scared of Ken to try anything. Isn’t that right, Ken? KEN O-of course it is. COLE Having some doubts, Ken? CABOOSE Of course he doesn’t have doubts, idiot! He has nothing to doubt. -Ragdoll walks up behind Jasmine and the two make their way to the ring. BUFFER AND HER OPPONENT! From Donegal, Ireland...and now residing in Las Vegas, Nevada! Accompanied to the ring by the LIVING LEGEND OF LAS VEGAS AUSTIN RAGDOLL BAKER!!...she is the Guinness of the OAOAST Divas! SHE IS JASMINE....BAAAAAAAAAAKER! -The fans erupt as Jasmine slides into the ring...AND RIGHT INTO A KICK IN THE RIBS!! COLE This match is officially underway! KEN And it’ll be over in, probably, three minutes. COACH I bet two. CABOOSE Four. Get me on four. KEN DONE! -Josie continues delivering blistering kicks to the ribs of Jasmine, who tries desperately to cover up. Josie goes for another kick...AND JASMINE GRABS HER FOOT! The fans cheer as Jasmine stands slowly, still holding Josie’s foot. Josie leaps up, swinging her left foot around... COLE Enziguri?! KEN I taught her that. -...JASMINE DUCKS! Josie’s foot flies over her, causing her to drop to her stomach with a thud. RAGDOLL “Jazz! Liontamer! LIONTAMER!” -Jasmine nods and grabs Josie’s other leg. The fans erupt as Jasmine positions her sister-in-law...LIONTAMER!! COLE LIONTAMER!! JASMINE HAS IT LOCKED IN!! KEN *sound of headphones dropping* COACH Where’s he going? CABOOSE To save his wife! -The fans erupt in boos as Ken slides into the ring...WHAM!! COLE OH, That’s disgusting! A Hollywood Bowl delivered to poor Jasmine! -Jasmine releases the hold and collapses, the superkick to the back of her head knocking her out completely. The ref signals for the bell. DING DING DING! -The fans begin throwing trash into the ring as the sun sets in the background. Ragdoll quickly slides in...AND TACKLES KEN!! The boos turn to cheers as Ragdoll delivers blistering rights and lefts to the face of his brother, and receives some as well. The ref grabs Ragdoll and drags him off as security enter the ring. They are now trying their hardest to keep the two seperated. Ken breaks through the security, but in the opposite way, exiting the ring. BUFFER The winner of the match! By Disqualification....JASMINE BAKER!! COLE The match at Zero Hour is still happening! Ken let his emotions get the best of him!! COACH SHIT! -Josie slowly slides out of the ring, clutching her back. Ken pulls a microphone out of his jacket and glares at Ragdoll. KEN “HEY! Austin! You wanna know why I did what I did?! You want to know why I just made your bitch wife a damn vegetable?! Because I wanted to make SURE that our match at Zero Hour happened! I wanted to make SURE that I had the chance to beat the piss out of you for half an hour! I wanted to make SURE that I ended your career at Zero Hour! And you know what?! This whole “No Pinfalls, No Submissions, Just a fight” shit? It ain’t gonna fly! At Zero Hour, if you REEEEEAAALLLLLY want me, you’ll make this match a Barbed Wire Cage Match!” -The fans erupt as Ragdoll slowly stands at the side of Jasmine. He grabs a mic from one of security guys (cuz, you know...they carry those things for just such an emergency). RAGDOLL “...You got it...” -The fans erupt as Ken smiles wide. He turns slowly... RAGDOLL “...on...ONE...condition...” -A slight hush falls over the crowd as Ken turns slightly. RAGDOLL “...If YOU win...I will join The Upstarts...” -The fans booooooooooooo!~ RAGDOLL “...but if I win...YOU have to divorce Josie.” -The fans ERUPT!! Ken glares at Ragdoll, who now has a grin on his face. Josie starts shrieking at him as Ken nods. KEN “...Done.” -THE CHEERS ARE INSANE!!~ Josie turns slowly to Ken, her eyes full of anger. The screen fades to black with the classic shot of Ken in the foreground, smiling, and Ragdoll on the AngleTron, smiling right back. COLE Our main event is next! Commercial break Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted February 24, 2006 BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, this next contest, is scheduled for ONE FALL! "What's The Difference" hits, as we are welcomed back to live arena action by Michael Cole, Caboose, and The Coach, the announce team known globally as Triple C. COLE What a match we have for you right now. Just days away from Zero Hour, and we're going to see one of the OAOAST's true talents taking on the man most synonymous with the company, and a man who will challenge Christian Wright for the HI-YAH Heav... COACH Oh will you get off Malibu's jock already? As the announcers exchange Banter, Reject makes his way down the aisle, adjusting his wrist tape, as announcer Michael Buffer introduces him to the crowd. BUFFER Coming down the aisle, weighing in tonight at two hundred, thirty five pounds...from New York City, this is REEEEJECT! A mixture of boos and cheers comes over the crowd, although Reject's cockiness in posing and smirking while on the ring apron probably helped draw more boos than cheers. He steps in the ring and warms up, while his music fades out, and is replaced by that of his opponent. BUFFER His opponent, hailing from Providence, Rhode Island, and weighing in tonight at two hundred pounds, he is "The Franchise" of the OAOAST, ZAAAAAAAAAAACK MAAAAAAAAALIBU! Malibu powerwalks to the ring, as the cheers of the fans nearly drown out "Getting Away With Murder". Zack hits the ring and hops on the apron, but then Reject pounces before the bell, attacking Zack as he steps through the ropes with forearms across the back! Reject then fires Zack off to the ropes, and leaps up with a dropkick, but Malibu bats it away! As he comes up off the mat, Reject catches a kick to the jaw by Zack, and then gets backed up by a flurry of chops before Malibu propels him to the ropes and leaps up, connecting with his own dropkick! Zack gets up and waits in a fighting stance, but Reject bails, throwing up his hands as he circles ringside, getting out of Dodge before Malibu overwhelms him. COLE Something tells me that Reject's plan to take Zack out before Zack had a chance to fight back has backfired! Reject climbs up on the apron and pauses, warning Malibu to stay back as he steps back in the ring. Reject enters cautiously, never taking his eye of Zack, but once he's back in the ring he springs forward and locks up with the popular prep! Reject takes Zack by the head and locks him in a side headlock, and when Zack tries to push him off, he hangs on, bringing Zack with him! Reject wrenches on Zack's head, but Malibu lifts him up off his feet...and Reject floats over and then takes Zack down with a schoolboy! ONE! T-KICKOUT! Zack kicks out of the flash pin rather quickly, and as he comes up he's trapped once again in a side headlock. He struggles again, and this time when he pushes Reject off Reject goes with the momentum, bouncing off the ropes and colliding into Zack with a shoulderblock...but neither man budges! Reject tries again, but this time Zack switches it up, using a drop toehold to take him down, and then comes off the ropes with a low dropkick, nailing Reject on the cheekbone as he rests on all fours! Reject rolls out of the ring again, while the crowd applauds loudly for Zack's ability to keep him at bay! CABOOSE And again, Reject bails! COACH So? Give the man some credit for avoiding potential defeat. CABOOSE It's hard to defeat someone who's always running! COACH Exactly my point! CABOOSE I was talking about the fact that he won't be able to beat Zack that way. COLE Plus, for every time he exits the ring, he's allowing Zack a rest period as well. CABOOSE See? COACH Yeah well, whatever. Charles Robinson starts the count, as Reject paces ringside, thinking of his next course of action. Once again he enters the ring slowly and circles the ring, keeping an eye on Zack just like Zack is doing to him. They move forward for a lockup, but Reject jabs a thumb in the eye, and then connects with several right hands before sending Zack to the ropes and dumping him over with a back bodydrop! He brings Zack up and lifts, trying for a powerbomb, but Malibu slips out and lands on his feet in front of Reject, then scoops him up and slams him down! Zack hits the ropes, but before he can do anything, Reject logrolls across the ring, under the bottom rope and again finds solace out on the floor! COACH Good man Reject, don't let him get on you! Break the momentum! The crowd is really on Reject's case now for all the stalling, and it gets to Zack as well, as this time he gives chase! Reject runs away from Zack and rolls back into the ring, and as Zack climbs in, Reject ducks out the far side of the ring and back out to the floor! COLE Come ON! Get in there! Reject doesn't take too kindly to the boos, telling one fan at ringside "Why don't YOU get in there, and I'll sit in your seat?" The heckler backs off at that point, but he winds up being a detriment to Reject, as Malibu seizes the opportunity to slide out of the ring and take Reject and send him back in! Zack follows him back inside the squared circle, and as Reject gets up and pleads, he's struck with two hard chops, and then taken over with a snap suplex! Reject comes up, but again Malibu suplexes him over, and this time rolls through with it, trapping Reject in a front guillotine choke! CABOOSE Now he can't run! Malibu keeps the hold locked tight, as Reject waves his arms, trying to find a way out of the hold. He pounds at Zack's side, but to no avail, as the blows aren't strong enough to warrant a break. Malibu then pulls him up, still with the head locked, and lifts him off the canvas, carrying him to the corner and planting him on the top rope before striking him with another hard chop! Zack climbs up, but Reject headbutts him, then pushes him off, however Zack lands on his feet and runs right back up the ropes, and hiptosses Reject from the top rope back down to the canvas! Reject lands hard, and screams from the pain surging through his back, which isn't helped when Zack comes running and nails him with a soccer kick between the shoulder blades as he tries to sit up! Zack then covers, hooking the leg, as Robinson drops to his knees for the count! ONE! TW-NO! Zack pulls Reject up and again stuns him with a pair of chops, then hits an inverted atomic drop on his foe before bouncing off the ropes. Malibu comes back towards Reject, who throws up a back elbow to drive Zack away, then picks him up and drops him across his knee with a backbreaker! Reject then hits the ropes and somersaults across the mat, hitting Zack with ROLLING THUNDER~!...or not, as Malibu rolls under the Thunder! Reject slams down on the canvas, and when he rolls over to push himself up, Zack hops over him and cradles him with an Oklahoma Roll! ONE! TWO! NO! Reject again kicks out, and as he comes up Malibu grabs him in a headlock, but he winds up being sent across the ring, as Reject sends him to the ropes. Reject falls to his stomach, causing Zack to have to hop over him on the rebound. Reject then leaps up and tries for a monkey flip, but Zack shoves him off. Reject charges and Zack ducks his head, elevating Reject up and over the ropes, but Reject lands on the apron, throws Zack down to the canvas, and then slingshots over the ropes and lands with a legdrop on Zack Malibu! Reject then gets up and hits the ropes again, and this time with Zack a little more worn out, he connects with Rolling Thunder, crashing down atop the popular prep! COACH The thunder rolls, and the lightning strikes! CABOOSE OK, you just so proved your whiteness by quoting Garth frickin' Brooks! Seeing he's close to the ropes, Reject drags Zack away from them, then springs onto the middle rope and twists in midair, delivering another legdrop to Malibu before covering! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! The crowd roars as Zack rolls a shoulder, but Reject continues to dominate, pulling Zack up and rocking him with a kneelift before hitting the ropes and executing a handspring back elbow...BUT GETS CAUGHT BY THE WAIST AND CARRIED OVER WITH A GERMAN SUPLEX! COLE Ouch! Zack keeps the waistlock applied and rolls through with the move, hitting a second German, then rolls through and hits a third before slowly rising up to his feet, pulling Reject up with him, and then pulling him up for the ANGLE SLAM~!!??!...but Reject slides free, spins Zack around...EULOGY...NO! Zack shoves him off, chest first into the turnbuckles, and then catches him as he stumbles back...ANGLE SLAM~! COVER~! ONE! TWO! TH-NO! REJECT PUTS HIS FOOT ON THE BOTTOM ROPE! COLE So close! COACH Some ring veteran! Zack should have known better! Zack sets Reject up in center ring, keeping an eye on his fallen rival as he exits the ring and climbs the turnbuckles. He sets himself up on the top rope, and waits for a groggy Reject to get to his feet. Once Reject comes up, Malibu flies towards him, sending himself airborne with a high crossbody block...BUT GETS DROPKICKED OUT OF THE AIR BY REJECT!! Malibu goes down in a heap, holding his ribs, and as he comes up, Reject takes him by the head and spikes him into the canvas, nailing him with the EULOGY! COACH HAHA! That's it! Your boy is finished! FINISHED! The crowd gasps as Reject drapes himself across Zack, a smug look on his face as he pulls Zack's leg back, throwing up his fingers along with Robinson's count. ONE! TWO! THR-NO! Reject's waving of three fingers was premature, as Zack Malibu kicks out of the pin! Reject rolls off and pounds the mat, the confronts Robinson before running his hands through his hair in disbelief. Reject then pulls Zack into a standing headscissors, and signals for PITCH BLACK, but at the last second Malibu backdrops his way out of it out of desperation! CABOOSE Malibu counters! COACH Ooooh, a big backdrop! Yippee. Reject will get up from this and... SCHOOL'S OUT~! CABOOOSE You were saying? BUT IT'S CAUGHT BY REJECT! Reject then throws the leg down, and turns his back, reaching back as he prepares to deliver another Eulogy...but Zack pushes him towards the ropes, and Reject can't stop himself from propelling back towards Zack, who springs forward and delivers a SCHOOL'S OUT as he bounces back off the ropes! COLE He ran right into his foot! Did you see him drop! Zack falls on top, and hooks the leg, as the crowd counts along, feeling this is it. ONE! TWO! THREE! DING! DING! DING! COLE What a victory! "Getting Away With Murder" comes over the speakers, as the crowd stand and applaud Zack's victory. Robinson takes the hand of the prep and raises it in the air, as Malibu wipes the sweat from his brow with his free arm. Malibu looks out to the crowd and salutes the fans, but as he turns to exit the ring... COLE What the...Zack, look out! ...he's blasted with a BELTSHOT~! from the HI-YAH Heavyweight Champion, Christian Wright! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Wright, clutching the belt in his right hand, stands over Zack's body, watching as the fresh cut on his forehead starts to drip blood. Wright then motions for the microphone, which a reluctant Charles Robinson gives him. CABOOSE You made your point, now you want to give us a speech!? COACH Let the man speak! Wright hesitates, glaring at the crowd who is still loudly booing, before taking the mic. WRIGHT Zachary...Zachary, can you hear me? It seems that our General Manager has come up with an ingenious scenario for this Sunday, one I think you're going to love. I know I do. You see, if HI-YAH and the OAOAST Corporate Office want to see you challenge me, well then we can't look at that as a negative, oh no. You will get your championship match at Zero Hour. However, nobody ever said what the stipulations needed be, now did they? Due to that lack of thought in the match making process, Axel has informed me to inform you that this Sunday, when you get your shot at the belt held in my hands at this very moment, there will be a special referee for the contest. A man that I have put full faith and trust into in the past, and one who will surely be impartial. This Sunday, when you get your shot Zack, the referee will be BOHEMOTH! COLE WHAT!? NO! COACH YES! Way to go Axel! CABOOSE God damn...sneaks! That's all you are! You can't let the man get a fair shake, can you? COACH After what The Originals have done to us all this time, it's about time we put the odds in our favor! COLE We shall see who prevails at Zero Hour and will have plenty of fallout for you next week. Until then, I'm Michael Cole. For Caboose and the Coach, aloha from Hawaii!! After his announcement, Wright exits the ring, once again raising his belt up above his head as the fans boo his assault. The cameras then close in on Zack, who is being tended to by Robinson, blood dripping down his face as we fade out. Fade to black Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted February 24, 2006 CREDITS: Director: KingPK Written by: Tony149 Ed Wood Caulfield KingPK Stephen Joseph Patty O' Green Alfdogg CandyColoredBlues Zack Malibu ©2006 OAOAST Entertainment. All rights reserved. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted February 24, 2006 OAOAST Productions, Proudly Presents... #~~THE LOVE SHACK--NO!--THE LIGHTNING SHACK~~# Piped in cheers and applause fire up as the camera shows the Love Shack set…which is a little different this week. While there is still a desk, a lamp, and a swivel chair, the desk has a bunch of garbage on it, the HAIL MICHIGAN sign has been taken down and replaced with a Lightning Crew logo beach towel, and the cheap looking beach towel of the New York City skyline has had LIGHTNING CREW spray-painted over it by Vitamin X. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, Cuban Wall, Mr. Boricua, and Thomas Rodriguez are sitting on the couch next to the desk, while “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican, in his wrestling attire, is acting as host. PRL’s custom made spinner 24/7 Championship belt rests on top of the table. “THE CORPORATE CHAMPION” THA PUERTO RICAN Hello folks! No, you’re not seeing things. There is nothing wrong with your television sets. You are watching The Shack, but it’s NOT The Love Shack this week! Oh no! This is THE LIGHTNING SHACK! Cue piped in rapturous applause. PRL bows for the camera. PRL Thank you! Thank you! Now, unfortunately (snicker) Leon Rodez couldn’t be here this week because of what we did to him on last week’s HeldDOWN~!. But don’t fret you pieces of trailer park trash watching this show, I wasn’t going to let a week go by without The Love Shack, so I made myself the host for this week’s show! I mean after all, if someone like LEON RODEZ can have his own talk show, I’m sure I can have my own talk show too! I’m sure Leon would approve of this decision. THOMAS RODRIGUEZ He sure would, PR. MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ Definitely! CUBAN WALL I agree. MR. BORICUA GRRRR. PRL Now, since I’m hosting the show this week, I’ve made a few “changes” to the set. Marty, show them the set! Marty the cameraman shows the “new” Love Shack set. PRL Much better than the set Leon Rodez has, right? THOMAS Yup! MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ Absolutely. CUBAN WALL I agree. MR. BORICUA GRRRR. THA PUERTO RICAN Yeah, this IS indeed a great set---wait a minute. PRL notices the framed photo of Alix Spezia on the desk. He picks up the photo. PUERTO What’s this bitch doing on this desk? PRL throws the photo away. You can hear the frame breaking off camera. PRL goes underneath the desk and pulls out a framed photo of Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez. He places the photo on the desk. PRL There. That’s better. Lindsay smiles. PRL I love you boo. Now then, let’s get this show underway. All right, our first guest is someone you all know very well. He is one of the most charismatic stars in the OAOAST today! He is the Financial Consultant of The Lightning Crew, the Brains of Brains & Brawn, and the man who will take down John “SUCK HARD” Brickston this Sunday at Zero Hour! Give it up for The X-Man, VITAMIN X! “Bling-Bling” by The B.G. featuring The Big Tymers and Hot Boys starts playing. Vitamin X stops spray-painting the set and walks to his seat. The other Lightning Crew members applaud VX. X high fives PRL and takes his seat. PRL pulls out a boombox, which we find out is playing “Bling-Bling” and turns it off. “Bling-Bling” stops playing. THA PUERTO RICAN All right. Vitamin X. Glad to have you on this show. VITAMIN X It’s great to be here, boss. PRL Now VX, tell me, in your own words…how great am I? VITAMIN X (caught off guard) Uh…well, you are SO great! You are simply phenomenal. There is nobody in the OAOAST quite like you! You’re one of a kind. You’re the greatest OAOAST wrestler never to win the World Title. I’m The X-Man, but you are…THE MAN! When I think about you, I touch myself. PRL is confused by X’s last comment, but soon goes back to nodding approvingly. PRL Thanks X. Thanks. I AM great aren’t I? VITAMIN X You sure are. CUBAN WALL Definitely. MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ Oh Hell yeah. THOMAS RODRIGUEZ Couldn’t have said it better myself. MR. BORICUA GRRRRR. THA PUERTO RICAN Yeah. Now X, this Sunday at Zero Hour, you will meet John Brickston in a No Disqualification Match. What are your thoughts? VITAMIN X Well, PR, I’m not afraid of John Brickston. I mean sure, he did rough me up a little earlier, and I’m not going to be 100% by Sunday, but, don’t worry, I WILL wrestle at Zero Hour and I WILL beat John “SUCK HARD” Brickston! You can bet on that! PRL Heh! Heh! THAT’S what I like to hear! Confidence! And you’re oozing of it, X! I expect you to go into Zero Hour on Sunday and beat the stuffing out of John Brickston! It’s a No Disqualification Match, so I expect you to take full advantage of that! VITAMIN X I will, boss. Don’t worry. PRL Good. Don’t let me down, X. Don’t. Let. Me. Down! VX I won’t boss. I won’t. Honest. PRL looks at X with a serious expression on his face. Vitamin X starts shaking, but he quickly stops. PRL faces the camera. PRL Okay then. Our next guest also has a match this Sunday at Zero Hour. He is one of the toughest big men in the OAOAST today. He is 6’7” and weighs in at 285 lbs. He is the Muscle for The Lightning Crew, and the Brawn of Brains & Brawn. Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for CUBAN WALL! PRL presses play on his boombox and “No Chance In Hell” by Bradley Royds starts playing. Cuban Wall gets up and walks right over next to PR. Vitamin X moves out of the way so that Wall can sit his big ass down on the couch. The other LC members applaud Cuban Wall. PRL shakes Wall’s hand. PRL heads back to the desk and presses stop on the boombox. “No Chance In Hell” stops playing. PRL Hey! Cuban Wall! How you feeling? CUBAN WALL I’m feeling as good as I look! VITAMIN X So you must not feel so good, huh? HA! HA! Cuban Wall punches Vitamin X in the jaw! VX Ow. PUERTO RICAN Guys, quit it! Now, Wall, this Sunday at Zero Hour, you’re teaming up with Mr. Boricua to take on Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly. Now, this is obviously a mismatch, and I KNOW you’re going to beat those two jabronies easily, but tell me…how great am I? CUBAN WALL Boss, you are simply…the greatest. It’s that simple. There is nobody in this company who is the total package except you. You have it all. The moves, the charisma, and you are good looking too if I do say so myself. PRL Stop. Stop. I’m not THAT great. Okay, I am, but stop! You’re embarrassing me! CW And, I’ll tell you what, this Sunday at Zero Hour; The Lightning Crew will go 3-0. Vitamin X will beat John “Rock Hard” Brickston, Mr. Boricua and I will beat Spanish Fly and Colombian Heat, and YOU will beat Leon Rodez to retain the 24/7 Title! PRL Ah, Leon Rodez. Leon, Leon. Would you believe he actually thinks he has a shot at becoming 24/7 Champion this Sunday? VITAMIN X No sir. CUBAN WALL No way. MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ Hell naw. THOMAS RODRIGUEZ I can’t believe it. MR. BORICUA GRRRR. PRL Yeah. That two-bit jabronie actually thinks he will beat me at Zero Hour. Didn’t what we do to him last week show him anything? ANYTHING? CUBAN WALL I guess not. VITAMIN X Yeah, I guess not. LINDSAY I don’t think so. THOMAS Me neither. MR. BORICUA GRRRR. PRL Well, in that case, I’ll just have to beat him even worst this Sunday! (PRL turns to the camera) Leon Rodez, I know you’re watching this right now in your hospital bed, so let me give you a message. You can’t see me! You are no match for The Corporate Champ this Sunday at Zero Hour. You better thank your lucky stars that our match will only last 15 minutes, because I could hurt you even more if this match went 30 minutes, 45 minutes, or 60 minutes. Let me remind you, Rodez, that the pressure is on you, not me. YOU have to beat ME. Not the other way around. YOU have to beat me in 15 minutes or you won’t become 24/7 Champion! Technically I don’t have to work hard this Sunday, I can take it easy, while you, my friend, are going to have to work even harder than usual to beat me since you only have 15 minutes to do so. I’ll understand if you’re not up for the challenge. I mean after all, I AM better than you. So if you want to call off the match, I understand. But if you do show up to the Staples Center in Los Angles on Sunday, you better bring everything you got, because if you don’t, well then, I’ll STILL be YOUR CORPORATE 24/7 Champion! THE CHAMP HAS SPO-KUN~!!! The Lightning Crew applauds PRL’s speech. Thomas Rodriguez wipes a tear from his eye. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez woofs it up. MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! VITAMIN X THAT’S MY BOY! THAT’S MY BOY! THOMAS RODRIGUEZ Excellent speech, boss. Simply magnificent! CUBAN WALL What a speech, boss. MR. BORICUA P.R! P.R! P.R! P.R! P.R! P.R! The Lightning Crew chants “P.R! P.R.! P.R.! P.R.! P.R.!” PRL does the “We’re not worthy!” gesture. THA PUERTO RICAN Thank you. Thank you. I love you all! I mean it. I really do. The Lightning Crew stops chanting, except for Mr. Boricua. CUBAN WALL Uh, Boricua, we’re done. MR. BORICUA Oops. Sorry. THA PUERTO RICAN Guys, I’m getting bored. What do you say we wrap this show up? CUBAN WALL Sure. VITAMIN X Okay then. THOMAS RODRIGUEZ I have no problem with that. MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ Me neither. MR. BORICUA GRRRR. PRL All right then. Well fans, that’s all the time we have for this week’s edition of The Lightning Shack. The Lightning Crew get up from the couch. They all get ready to leave. PRL looks to the camera. PRL The LOVE Shack will return next week, however, if I hurt Leon Rodez really badly, then you might not have The Love Shack for a LOOOOOOOOOONG time~! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!! Cuban Wall looks at Vitamin X who looks at Mr. Boricua. The three men look like they’re about to do something. PRL grabs his custom made spinner 24/7 Championship belt and the framed photo of Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez. PRL So this is “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican saying so long and we’ll see you this Sunday at Zero Hour where Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua will wipe the mat with Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly, Vitamin X will lay the smackdown on John “Rock Hard” Brickston in a No Disqualification Match, and I will beat Leon Rodez 1-2-3 in the middle of the ring to retain my PRESTIGIOUS OAOAST 24/7 Championship! Cuban Wall grabs the garbage that’s lying on the desk and throws it aside. PRL spins the belt plate. PRL And Leon Rodez, let me just say thanks for allowing me and The Lightning Crew to take over your show for one week. We really REALLY appreciate it. Infact, here’s our way of saying “Thanks”. We hope you like it. See you Sunday, Leon! Cuban Wall smashes top of the desk! Tha Puerto Rican throws the swivel chair out of the camera shot! Thomas Rodriguez and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez turn the couch over! Mr. Boricua destroys the rest of the desk with his bare hands! Tha Puerto Rican and Cuban Wall rip the HAIL MICHIGAN sign in half! Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez breaks the lamp! Mr. Boricua grabs the cheap looking beach towel of the New York City skyline that has LIGHTNING CREW spray-painted on it and spits on it, before wiping his ass with it and throwing it to the ground! Tha Puerto Rican takes The Lightning Crew logo beach towel and places it over the destroyed desk. He laughs evilly. PRL Good job gang. I think we’ve sent our message. The Lightning Crew laughs evilly. They all high five each other, evil smiles on their faces. PRL Come on, let’s go. The Lightning Crew leaves The Love Shack set. They all gloat over what they just did, laughing evilly. Puerto grabs the framed photo of Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez and his custom made spinner 24/7 Championship belt again. PR spins the belt plate. The camera does a close-up of The Lightning Crew beach towel over the destroyed desk. The credits roll over that image as we fade out. (FADE OUT) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
