0 HOUR: COD VS NNMX

[Patty O'Green 0]

Hmmmm. It's not too good. Sorry. Tony, you can edit anythang you'd like.

 

The arena goes dark with the exception of an ominous [color=#800080][b]purple[/b][/color] light hanging across the entrance stage. The horrible, horrible, horrible, song that is [i]Chase[/i] reverberates from the Staples Center speakers, causing the boo birds to descend from their nest, and converge their hatred upon the appearing wrestlers, The Midnight Express. With Jim Cornette positioned behind them, Simon Singleton and Ned Blanchard stand at the top of the ramp, their sparkling vests shielding the impressive musculature they possess. Sneers etched across their faces, they stick their titles into the air, dead certain they'll be leaving the arena with them in their possession. As the camera shifts to Michael Buffer, the gentlemen, in cute little white tights, casually stroll to the ring.

BUFFER
The following contest is for the professional wrestling tag team titles, and has a pay per view time limit of sixty minutes! Introducing the champions being accompanied by Jim Cornette, first from Charleston, South Carolina, he weighs in at two hundred and twenty five pounds, he is The Sultan of Sarcasm, Simon Singleton! And his partner, from Beverly Hills, California, he is The Handsome Hustler, Ned Blanchard! Together they are three time tag team champions of the world, they are [color=#800080][b]THE NEW NEW MIDNIGHT EXPRESSSSSSSS![/color][/b]

The audience makes no bones about expressing their displeasure for the Midnights, booing their hearts out at these hated villains. Simon simply jams his finger into his belt, his high handed way of letting the fans know who's the champ and who's not. Ned gets onto the ring apron, all his thoughts focused on the task of besting the mother of his child. Despite being a native of LA, Blanchard's crowd reception is so frosty it would make an Eskimo cold.

COACH
It's time to pay respect to the big guy, Axel! The man knows Chicks Over Dicks equals money, and he knows the Midnight Express equal money, put them together in a tag title match and what do you get? Big money! Time to recognize it, Boozy!

CABOOSE
Don't be dumb. Any monkey with access to a booking sheet could've thought to put these two together.

COLE
Well, these squads have more then their fair share of bad blood between them! Ned and Krista have a long history together that Alix and Simon have been dragged into. And it all comes to head here tonight for the tag team titles! Folks, don't forget that this Thursday from Saint Louis, Missoura, Alix Spezia and Christian Wright will meet in a debate over proper role modelling. That is if Christian is still able to talk after my man Zack is done with him!

COACH
Bitch, please. You talking crazy talk. Zack's got nothing on C-Dub.

[i]Chase[/i] (thankfully) cut outs, and the only noise is now provided by the ear piercing screams of anticipation that are loud enough to send shivers down any man's spine. Rollicking chants of C-O-D are already the order of the day, as the audience impatiently awaits the arrival of their treasured hometown girls, Chicks Over Dicks.

COLE
Would you listen to the crowd? No question about it, LA is ready for their chicks!

The sweetened strands that open pop sensation Britney Spear's [i]And then we kiss[/i] play, as a beautiful [color=red][b]red[/color][/b] pyro fountain rises forth from the stage. It meets with an equally lovely [color=#ff3366 ][b]pink[/color][/b] pyro waterfall, dropping from the ceiling. As the chorus of the song seeps into the ears of the OAOAST faithful, both the pyrotechnics dissipate, replaced by a booming [color=#ffff33][b]gold[/color][/b] explosion that consumes the entire stage! The doors pull slowly pull apart and through the foggy haze, steps the city of angels favorite daughters, Alix Maria Spezia and Krista Isadora Duncan. The decibel level of the rambunctious fans reaches a record breaking height at the sight of the ultra popular Californians! The girls strike a glorious pose at the top of the entranceway, Alix sinking to her knees in front of Krista who stands legs apart with her hand slid through her yellow locks. Poor Buffer does a number on his vocal chords, straining to be heard over the enraptured hollering...

BUFFER
And the challengers, being accompanied by Jade Rodez! First, she is the 2005 female wrestler of the year, Alix Maria Spezia(“YEAAAA”)! And her partner, she is the mind brilliant behind the best selling [i]FIT with KID[/i] exercise videos, she is Miss California Krista Isadora Duncan(“YEAAAA”) Together they are America's Sweethearts, and Los Angeles they are your very own....[color=#FF1493][b]CHICKS OVER DICKS[/b][/color]!

The fans, every one of them on their feet, explode with that final announcement, tearing the roof off the arena. The only thing that could make them pop louder is a “and your new tag team champions...” proclamation at the end of the contest. Alix,outfitted in a glittering red halter top and matching hot mini skirt, rocks her body back and forth, whipping the audience into an even further frenzy. Krista, in her diamond studded black leather tank top and black pants, keeps her ocean blue eyes locked in deadly determination on The Handsome Hustler.

COACH
Damn. Krista needs the Coach in her life. I'm what's familiar. She's used to rolling with battery operated warriors. Well Coach is like Energizer, he just keeps going and going.

Jade, wearing a black OAOAST hockey jersey and faded jeans, is awestruck by the noise level, soaking up as much of the delirious atmosphere as she possibly can. But her attention is quickly captured by the sleazy Ned Blanchard. Still fearful of the tag champion, she positions herself as far away from him as she can get. Krista assures her worried friend that everything will be ok, as the referee moves to get this match underway.

[b]DING DING DING[/b]

The bout begins with Alix Spezia and Simon Singleton. Unable to collect his thoughts over the deafening shouts of the excited audience, the normally cocksure Singleton is tentative in his movements, affording Alix a chance to draw first blood. Fueled by the same noise that hinders her foe's thought process, she bombards him with four wide left hooks to his ribs. The shots painfully jerk Simon out of his intimidated stupor and he returns fire with speedy right jabs. Every last one of his strikes comes hand in hand with a hearty round boos from the fans, who'd be more then thrilled just to see their gals win a quick squash. Sharing their feelings, Alix spiritedly interrupts Simon's jab fest with thudding punches of her own! The spectators react to each attack with the excitement and jubilation they'd display if they'd just witness The Dodgers win the world series. A praticuarly nasty left cross from Alix lands on Simon's cheek, awkwardly contorting the skin on his face, and leaving him dazed. Ally takes a hold of his arm and before he can regain his bearings, he's hurtling to the ring ropes! In the middle of his return, The Sultan composes himself and attempts to take out her legs with a baseball slide! Ally Cat avoids the sneaky tactic, leaping over Simon's full six feet and one inch, and carrying herself to the cables. Her return sees her bull towards Singleton, head lowered, and nostrils flaring. Rather then have her impale his testicles, he leapfrogs the perky diva and lets her continue traveling the ropes. As she nears him once more, Simon falls onto his back, telegraphing a possible monkey flip! Ally Cat decides to show off for her fellow Californians, using a picturesque frontward flip to sail over his curled up frame! While the fans and Jade bath her in applause, she rises to a full vertical base, then heads to the ropes once again. The elasticity's of the cables launch her and her lariat at Simon at full force!  Avoiding what could be nose shattering move, he slinks bellow her attacking arm and dashes to the ropes, who are getting quite the workout! As he closes the distance gap between them, he slides into her in a wheelbarrow set-up. Having danced to this music before, Spezia nonchalantly catches him in her arms. Lulling him into a false sense of security, she permits the Sarcastic one to form the makings of a wheelbarrow bulldog. It's only at the height of the aerial move does she unveil her tricky plan. She lets go of his legs, then switches him into a modified wasitlock, moving incredibly quickly so as not to lose her grip. Left at the mercy of an unmerciful rival, Simon screams in horror as Alix falls backwards, and smashes him against the hard as granite canvas with a modified German Suplex!

“LET'S GO ALIX! LET'S GO ALIX!”

While Simon's left to writhe in misery on the mat, Ned Blanchard, ignoring the meek protests of referee Billy Silverman, interjects himself into the fray! The recipient of a strong chorale of boos, Ned plows towards Alix, zeroing in on our heroine with a viscous lariat! Much to his chagrin, Ally artfully sweeps underneath his arm. While his annoying miss clumsily staggers him forward, she darts off to the ropes. Clearly angered over having misfired, he whips around to pummel his returning enemy with a discus punch. Yet before he can even properly curl his fist, her tanned legs curl themselves around his thick neck in a vice grip worthy tightness. He soon experiences a feeling like he's being choked to death while riding a rollercoaster, as Ally's powerful legs take him for a nauseating spinning head scissors!

CABOOSE
As we can see the girls are really bringing it to Ned and Simon early on.

COACH
And and I can see, Alix needs to bring a hamburger or two to her stomach! Babygirl's looking fine, but she needs to get some meat on them bones! I gotta have little something to grab onto when I pull up to the bumper and smack that monkey.

As Ned rolls out of ring begging for a barf bag, The Sultan, having recovered from his physical wounds, now tries to alleviate the scars to his pride by charging at Alix with a shoulder tackle! But mere seconds before Simon's muscular arm can pulverize Alix, Krista Isadora Duncan intercepts his incoming missile with a  beautiful spring board blockbuster! Alix gets on her knees and worships her partner, and Kris promptly stands up and bows to her adoring the public. Before the match can degenerate into a total debacle in his enemies favor, Double S, clutching his hurt neck, frantically scampers out of the ring.

“KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!”

Backs against the wall, an entire city turned against them, momentum nowhere near their side, and their tag title reign in mortal danger of meeting a fast demise, Ned and Simon do not reside in an enviable position, and no man realizes this depressing fact than Jim Cornette. Beads of nervous sweat shooting off his wrinkled forehead, Jimmy anxiously calls his hurting charges over to discuss strategy. While this huddle may be well intentioned, their being in a condensed group carries a catastrophic vulnerability seen by everyone but the men it affects the most. More then happy to exploit their hazardous position, Krista calls Jade, who's beside herself with delight to be included in the mayhem, into the squared circle. Operating in flawless concert with one another, the popular trio take several bounds to ropes to build speed for their planned high risk/high reward assault. As the girls near the edge of battleground, they vault through the sky, clearing the ropes, and extending their slender bodies out for majestic stereo swanton bombs! White flashes from the wealth of cameras decorate the arena, as  a chilling terror drains all the blood from Cornette's pudgy face. Ned and Simon barely have a moment to register their advance, before the feminine bombs explode onto their landscape!

“HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!” chant the crowd, people in the near front row pushing against each other, trying to acquire a better view of the fantastic carnage.

COLE
A triple swanton bomb, with little Jade Rodez getting in on the action!

COACH
Jade has no business getting involved in this match. If she wants to support Alix and Kris that's fine, but she just landed her entire body on Jim Cornette! Jim Cornette is an innocent bystander, he's just a manager, a coach. You can't attack a coach. I don't see Smush Parker randomly trying to body splash Avery Johnson!

CABOOSE
Coach, Jim Cornette should've known better to group them altogether like that. He was just setting them up for a dive to the outside. He has no one to blame but himself.

Back in the ring, a slightly recovered Singleton wastes no time in assuming control of the fast-paced bout, ripping through Alix with a massive lariat! The savage shot aids the anti-NNMX crowd in finding their voice. They plaster The Sultan with chants of “Pissbreak Singleton! Pissbreak Singleton!”, throwing in rhythmic clapping after each Singleton to make the insults more musical. Put off by the witless barbs, Si stares daggers at every audience member he can lay his blue eyes on, as he pulls Alix into a standing head scissors. His arms clamp around her slim waist, and he soon foists her into the air for a powerbomb. However Alix is more then capable of  defeating what's normally a devastating move. The mega hottie agilely peels off to his side, dips to the mat and stuns him with an arm drag that nearly yanks the limb out of it's socket. Rubbing his sore arm, Simon groggily rises, glancing around desperately for any way out of the ring. Unfortunately the only the exit that comes to him is a rocky trip through the black cables thanks to a crowd popping [i]dropsault[/i] by Alix! Dazed and unsure of what just hit him, he slowly stands up on the apron, while Alix ascends to the top turnbuckle. With The Staples Center crowd boisterously rooting her on, the darling Miss Spezia flings herself off the padding, and twists in midair, catching her legs around Simon's neck and snatching the alarmed grappler off the apron with a beautiful hurricanrana to the outside! Double S lands face first in a quivering heap at the base of the apron, while Alix artistically tumbles backwards, waving to the raucous fans who sing,

“ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!”

With Alix and Simon taken out of the ring, the capacity crowd is blessed with the chance to witness the grandiose matchup their hearts have been lusting to see for over a year. The matchup between Ned Blanchard and Krista Isadora Duncan. Encompassed by an ensemble of chants for the woman he wronged so many years ago, Ned cockily struts across the ring, meeting her icy stare with an audacious smirk. Krista turns to Jade, who offers a word of encouragement, and nods. Then she issues a full throated roar that dares her old flame to come and take his best shot. Ned snarls back, accepting this defiant invite, and runs at her with a clothesline! To the fan's pleasure, Krista catches his attacking arm and flips him through the air with a hiptoss! However the audience's joy sinks to disappointment as the hunky grappler lands solidly on his black shoes. He turns his head towards a dismayed Krissy, and outrages her with an insolent kissy face before trying a hip toss of his own! Yet Krista shows that all is fair in love, war, and hip tosses, frustrating him by landing on [i]her[/i] feet. Now it's her turn to aggravate him with an audacious kissy face that pops the standing crowd!

COACH
See? She still wants the Ned man. I call sloppy seconds, Nedster!

COLE
Good luck with that. Folks, the winners of this match move onto Anglemania to face the winner of the Anderson Cup finals. And I'll be calling that affair with none other then Jesse “The Body” Ventura! I can't wait. 

Smitten with rage over being one-upped by the woman who always seems to do everything better then he, Ned attempts to decapitate her with the familiar clothesline. But Kris knows Ned like she knows the back of her hand and saw the move coming miles away. Thus she sinks down, hooks her arm between his crotch and pulls him into a standing fireman's carry position. Because his body is already in mid move the only thing Ned can do is allow Krista to take him onto his shoulders, and pray Simon is on his way to free him from this perilous spot. Uttering a growl that cascades shivers down Ned's cowardly spine, Krissy spins Ned out to her side, so that he's facing the beige canvas, then pulls him down, forcing him to endure a gruesome face first meeting with her outstretched knee! The loud smack of the stud muffin's nose colliding with her leather pants echoes throughout the venue and becomes sweet music to the spectators' ears.

CABOOSE
Ned and Simon have been unable thus far to weather the early storm brought on by the girls. Thanks to the adrenaline supplied by all their fans, Al and Krista have been able to use the champs as crash test dummies for their ping-pong ball offense.

Ned, squealing in pain and terror, quickly lifts himself to a vertical base. The defending champion is bestowed no respite as Krista draws close with a running body splash. But Ned, aided by his strength advantage, overtakes her, hooking onto her neck and pushing her down so that he may grind her attack to screeching halt with a front facelock. Miss Califorina, unlike the crowd who let out a gasp of alarm, is undeterred by the elementary submission hold. Gritting her teeth, she hooks her arm around Ned's free arm, then uses that clutch as a base to spin out of the front facelock! As the fans her applaud her impressive counter, she makes an effort to floor a surprised Ned with a short arm clothesline! But the fellow SoCal native recovers from his moment of shock just in time to whirl behind her and hit a rear waistlock. Never one to pass up an opportunity to put his mac down on a bonafide hottie, Neddy Bear begins to furiously pump his little engine that could into her curvy caboose!

“BOOOOOOO!” goes the crowd, although we can't be certain if they're booing because they believe Ned's actions to be deplorable or because they wish they were in his position.

COACH
Go on, Hustler! You drive a Cadillac, wear a perm cuz you a G, and you a mother fuc**** P-I-M-P!

Krista, like the viewers, is aghast with indignation. Thus she ends the Handsome Hustler's brief foray into the world of simulated anal sex, by whipping behind him in snagging him with her own rear waistlock. As dense and sexually deviant as always, a thrilled grin passes over Ned's lips, as he actually believes she's about to return the favor with some kinky assplay of her own! Yet Blanchard's broad smile quickly morphs into panicked frown as the best selling author breaks her waist lock and lifts him into sky in a backsuplex position! The crowd loudly roars in anticipation for what's coming and the fitness queen doesn't dare disappoint, nearly castrating the three time tag champion with an inverted atomic drop!

“K-I-D! K-I-D! K-I-D!”

Shaken and miserable, The Hustler stumbles forward, clenching his little warriors, making sure her cruel move hasn't shattered his prized possessions. Perhaps sniffing blood in the air, and sensing a chance to avenge five years of misery, Krista scorches towards Ned like a blond bat out of hell, wraps her hands around his neck, and cruelly snaps it with a reverse neckbreaker! While Ned emits an agony filled groan, she reaches forward to hook his leg for a pinfall

CROWD & JADE
ONE!

CROWD & JADE
TWO

But Ned pulls his shoulder off the mat leading the boo birds to return in full force. Krista casts an ugly look towards Ned for his resilience, as she strides forward and plants a nasty kick into the top of his cranium. Grabbing strands of Ned's golden hair, she roughly yanks him upright and attempts an irish whip. However Ned finds the wherewithal within him to reverse it and sends Krista hurtling to the cables. She returns with hopes of a spinning head scissors, but Ned, as he's apt to do, crushes another one of her dreams with a pendulum backbreaker. Rather then push her off his outstretched knee, Ned keeps her on his body as he throws a knowing look towards an apron based Simon. Without so much as a word exchanged between them, The Sultan scales to the top rope. Moving fast, as a thrashing Krista is in grave danger of breaking his partner's fragile grip, Singleton comes off the turnbuckle with a leg drop! His meaty limb connects with her neck, driving her back to the mat and crushing her throat between it's substantial weight! There's a grotesque snap and Krista lets out such a horrible cry of anguish that for a moment Simon actually feels a pang of pity for her. Ned on the other hand couldn't care less about the mother of his child's safety, and gruffly ushers Simon out of the ring as he pins her.

ONE

TWO

Ned's title retention hopes are momentarily dashed as Krista jerks her shoulder up, pleasing the rabid Staples Center fans! The Handsome Hustler pushes himself to his feet, then coils a hand around Kris' lush golden locks, and hauls her upright. With a sneer on his face and a burning desire to break more then just her heart, Ned launches her across the squared circle and into the turnbuckles. Her back hits the pads with a repulsive impact that sends her involuntarily stumbling forward. Not wanting to give the bombshell a single moment to rest, Ned closes in on her with a graceful bodysplash! But Alix, Jade, and the audience are delighted to see Krissy, with one almighty effort, dive out of the way, leaving Blanchard's tightly toned stomach to be mangled by the unforgiving ringpost steel!

CABOOSE
Every move that Krista does to Ned hurts just a little bit more then normal because of who she is. And vice versa.

COACH
Where's the love and support for Ned? He's from LA! Ungrateful morons, that's why you're stuck with the Last Action Hero as your govenor. Because you're blinded by glitz and glamour, and you don't see substance. Alix and Krista are glitzy and glamorous and Hollwood, but Ned's the meat. He's the substance.

Operating more on instinct then any actual thought, Krista sees Ned's vulnerability and swiftly moves to act on it before it expires. She bolts towards him at full speed, taking to the air and lengthening her body to it's full five feet and ten inches with a cross body block! But Ned's reaction time is quick, and he easily catches her in his arms! On the apron Alix watches on in a combination of horror and distress, as Blanchard plunges downward and smashes Krista's frame into the canvas with a savage fall forward slam. Hovering above Izzy, he directs a sleazy kiss Jade's way, which she reacts to with terrified shuddering. While the audience jeers and boos him, The Hustler reaches over and hooks Krista's leg, eager to dispose of this abomination he once called a lover.

ONE

TWO

Krista kicks out in authoritative fashion, generating a cheer from the crowd and Jade. Blanchard slams the mat in sheer anger, seemingly drained of ways to put down his pesky ex-girlfriend. Ned doesn't quite relent however, moving to tag in Simon for something Krista was never fond of while they were dating, a bit of spicy MMF action. Blanchard whips her to the cables, while Singleton crisscrosses her, taking careful pains as to not collide with her and ruin their intricately designed move. As Miss California returns to Neddy Bear, he laces his boots around her legs, and drives her down with a drop toe hold. Although Krista was capable of getting her hands up to shield her gorgeous visage, she's unable to defend herself against Simon's portion of the attack, a hideous basement dropkick to the side of her head! While the audience reacts negatively to the cringe worthy strike, Singleton drapes his arm across Izzy's heaving chest, counting along as the official's hand slaps the mat.

ONE

TWO

Krista lifts her arm upwards at two and a half. Singleton, visibly perturbed, glares at the zebra through the mess of curly sun soaked strands that cloak his face. Upon shifting his anger back towards his foe, he pulls her up by the back of her neck and begins to treat her face like an Everlast punching bag, peppering it with a melody of stinging jabs. Pleased with the damage he's wrought, he holds Krista out in front of him by her luscious hair, and smugly enrages an already hostile crowd by asking“How do you like her now?” To which they, led by Jade Rodez, respond with a feverish chant of “[b][color=#FFD700]PISSBREAK[/color][/b] SINGLETON! [b][color=#FFD700]PISSBREAK[/color][/b] SINGLETON!”

CABOOSE
One thing that you may not have noticed is that Jim Cornette, since the swanton bomb incident, has been all but invisible. Jade, on the other hand, has been an active cheerleader for her group.

The Sultan sucks KID into a tightly applied front facelock. As Alix shouts out cheers of encouragement, Kris takes up the monumental task of raging against his hold, tugging at his iron like arms to wade off the mounting tension. But she can't peel them away long enough to break free or even breathe comfortably for that matter. Si soon makes her all her rebellious efforts for naught, using a [i]DDT[/i] to blast her to mat with carefully calculated force. Krista lets out a resonant cry that seems capable of leveling the ring with it's volume. And it feels to Simon, as he pins her, that the squared circle is trembling as a result.

ONE

TWO

The SoCal Beauty defiantly kicks out, leaving an exasperated Singleton to direct a menacing stare Silverman's way. While the ref shyly holds up two fingers, Krista expends a great deal of energy by standing up on her own power. Double S instantly pounces on her, clamping down with another front facelock. Feeling the pooling warmth of pain around her neck, Krista wildly fights back, shifting her position and getting an Irish Whip. But the cagey veteran sees this coming and reverses the motion to send her bouncing off the ropes. As she returns to the center of the ring, Simon throws up his leg for a superkick, but she evades the deathly move by rolling underneath it and continuing her run of the ropes. After she returns from the opposite cables, Singleton hits his deadly mark with a majestic leg lariat!

“LET'S GO KRISTA! LET'S GO KRISTA!” bleat the crowd, led on by Jade and Alix.

Double S buries the under sole of his boot deep into Krista's back, causing the fitness queen to spasm in pain. Three more brutal stomps follow, each accompanied by those disheartening convulsions. Simon ceases his stomping, now possessing a devilish intent to shatter her neck with a German Suplex. He hauls her up into a snug rear waistlock, and makes certain to pull her away from Alix, so that the bubbly brunette can't interfere in his plans. The Sultan raises her into the air, then dives backwards, executing a mammoth [i]suplex[/i]! While the fans react with cringes and cries, the extraordinary force of the move carries Krista upright and directs her staggering body towards Simon and Ned's corner. Always looking for an excuse to inflict as much pain as possible on Krista, Ned leans over the ropes and rudely slugs her in the back of the head with a forearm! Not only does this cheap shot give rise to an ear splitting orchestra of boos, but it appears to light a passionate fire underneath Krista. Straining to see through the streams of hot sweat that obscure her vision, she lunges at him with a straight left cross. However The Hustler eludes her questing hands by quickly leaping off the ring apron, leaving his attacker to awkwardly crash against the ropes. As Ned grins on the outside, the hazy diva wobbles into a neckbreaker from Simon! Upon seeing his vanquished adversary sprawl across the mat in defeat, Simon scurries to cover her and make this victory official.

ONE


TWO

Krista just barely gets her shoulder up, prolonging this match for just a bit longer. Simon stands up, bringing Krista along with him, his grip on her head tightening by the second, a symbol his rapidly increasing frustration. Sneering like a madman, his piercing eyes gaze across the ring, trying to uncover a way to use the environment to his advantage. Peering at Krissy's weary face, he's struck with a treacherous scheme. Soon he showcases his plot to the world, dragging Krista to his corner and violently ramming her face against the second turnbuckle pad. Watching Krista sink to the mat in white hot pain, Ned decides he wants to resume his most cherished past time, making her life a miserable hell. A quick tag is made, and a chuckling Blanchard hits the ring. He immediately leaps on her weakened state, blasting her with the most hate filled stomps he's ever thrown. At Simon's urging Ned scrapes Krista's weakened body off the mat, putting a firm and insulting grasp on her round tush as he does so. Chants of “Let’s go Krista” get louder and louder but Ned absolutely refuses to grant the fan favorite an opportunity to make a comeback. Grabbing the top of her wrist, he propels her into the cables. When she returns, Ned foists her into the arena sky with an impressive gorilla press slam set up! This not so subtle affirmation of who wears the pants in the family elicits a chaotic splash of jeers from the fans, who urge Krista to turn against his hold. Dripping with perspiration, Krista pits her meager escape effort against Ned's almost casual display of power. But her valiant bid for freedom ultimately proves hopeless in the face of Ned's sizable strength. He drops her across his shoulders, then spins her in front of him, and splatters her across the beige canvas with a spine buster! Tentatively, fearfully, Jade and Alix recoil, stricken with concern for Krista's welfare. Caught up in a fit of delirious chortling and self satisfaction for his mammoth move, Ned drapes his arm across his whimpering ex-lover's chest.

ONE

TWO

COLE
This should be it, sadly.

Driven by a frantic energy Alix storms into the ring and uses her shoe to break up the count! As cheers return to the venue, a riled up Blanchard rises and attempts to bust Alix with right cross! But referee Billy Silverman gets in between the two superstars before they can properly come to blows. While the official ushers and agitated Spezia back to her station, Blanchard makes a speedy dash for the ropes. In an unusual display of aerial showmanship that Simon is imploring him not to take, he springs to the third rope, then launches himself across the ring with a lionsault! While the move appears to be wonderfully graceful, Simon's misgivings prove to be well stated, as Krissy rolls out of the way at the last possible second! The hurt and humiliation from his folly is streaked across Ned's face in vibrant, bold letters, as his arms instantly wrap around his six packed stomach.

CABOOSE
Big mistake right there! 

Her mind shrouded in agonizing haze, the knockout slowly stands up, unsure of what course of action to take next. This seconds indecision proves costly as Ned gets a measure of revenge, flooring Izzy with his arm that's not clutching his aggravated ribs. Miss California hits the mat hard, her neck taking the brunt of the disgusting landing.

“LET'S GO KRISTA! LET'S GO KRISTA!”

Ned circles her, eyes narrowing into sinister slits and drool oozing out of the corner of his lips as he sizes up his tantalizing prey. He can't control the giddy euphoria that's filled him over the prospect of being able crush what's left of her brutalized spirit. Amidst Blanchard's unending taunting, the surfer chick finds the requisite energy to push herself to her feet. However there's whole second before she's fully balanced. That brief second is all Blanchard needs to bear into her with a shoulder block. Krista, drawing on her last ounce of strength, stuns him, Jade, the crowd, Alix, and even herself by leaping onto his shoulders for a victory roll! Not wanting to lose control of the match, a suddenly panic stricken Ned steps forward and lets Krista slide right off his upper body. Unfortunately she lands on her feet, facing him while he’s facing away from her. This means that she's in the perfect spot to cause him immeasurable damage, and he's in a horrible spot to do anything about it. Miss California grabs his arm and violently twirls him around so that they stand face to face. Blanchard has zero time to react before Krista sticks her shoe into his gut, doubling him over. She latches onto his head then spins him like a merry-go-round with a tornado DDT! However Ned is somehow able to squirm free in midair, preventing the potentially neck breaking move from succeeding. He goes briefly off balance, teetering back several inches. With his arrogance and confidence as intact as ever, the recuperated stud takes an ill advised charge towards Krista with a lariat. Light in her eyes stoked to full fire, the bombshell goes airborne, heading straight up like a rocket. As Ned nears, she extends her legs, and drives her boot into the back of his cranium, obliterating his skull with a [b]90210 enziguri[/b]! Ned's knocked head over heels, plummeting to the mat in chaotic fashion.

[b]“YEAAAAAAAA!”[/B]

COACH
First she steals his child, then she steals his trademark move!

CABOOSE
It looks like that might have taken something out of Krista as well!

His desire to torture Krista taking a momentary backseat to a primal urge to survive, Blanchard rolls away, creating some much needed distance between he and his resurgent old flame. As Caboose pointed out, Krista seems to be swimming against an agonizing current, the duress she's under making her crawl to her corner an extremely arduous one. Alix, sensing that she's COD best chance to capture the gold, furiously beats on the turnbuckle, trying to rally her fallen partner. Soon, Jade and the entire crowd join in, stamping their feet in unison, sending encouraging noises to Krista's frayed heart. Drawing on their heartwarming show of support, Kris, face steeled with gritty determination, digs her nails into the canvas, and desperately claws her way to the corner. Suddenly Ned stirs, giving rise to concerned gasps from the crowd. Unwilling to ever let Krista truly be free, he locks his hand around her ankle, trying his hardest to freeze her in place. Despite Blanchard's tight lockdown, Alix's unwavering encouragement sparks Krista to fight past the cutthroat thug. With one titanic lunge, she surges forward make a hot tag to her perky partner!

[b]”YEAAAAAAAAA!”[/B]

The fans are euphoric as the other hometown girl renters the warzone! Singleton makes his unwanted presence felt, entering the ring and taking a crazed dash at Alix! But much to Jade and the fan's glee, Ally Cat easily disposes of him with her trademark [i]dropsault[/i]! Throwing an agile twist into her famous move, she lands perfectly onto her feet. Beaming with joy, she blows kisses to her cheering fanbase, while an undetected Ned sneaks up behind her. The Handsome Hustler seizes his moment to strike and draws both the extreme ire and envy of the fans by vigorously squeezing and jiggling Alix's silicone milk wagons, and moaning in unbridled ecstasy as he does so!

COLE
Oh for the love of Pete! This clown is out of control!

COACH
Hell yeah, son! Live the dream, Ned Man! Milkshake brings all the boys to the yard!

Through with his tawdry sexual harassment, Ned attempts to turn his ten seconds of pleasure into Alix's lifetime of misery, by lifting her up and throwing her backwards with a German Suplex! But the speedy warrior keeps her title hopes alive, back flipping her way out of disaster. Unaware that Alix isn't suffering the horrible after affects of his suplex, Ned rises, and immediately takes up the task taunting Jade with despicable hip swivels. Jade, however, keeps her temper in check, and merely suggests he turn around. Dumbfounded, the champion follows her instructions, and has his view engulfed by Alix's elongated body crashing into him with a cross body block! She pushes him down to the mat, but the worry stricken grappler uses his own momentum in his favor and rolls through the move. Silverman dutifully drops to his knees to count a pin. However Ned's keenly aware that it will take more then a flash pin to shipwreck her title quest. Thus he stands up with her cradled in his arms. He swings her out to the side for a modified rock bottom! The fans prepare themselves for the worst, but Alix assuages their anxiety, grabbing hold of Blanchard's head, and smoothly spiking it into the ring floor with a DDT!

“ROCK N ROLL FOREVAAAAAA, MOTHER TRUCKERS!” Alix screams as she jams on her air guitar, getting another “LET'S GO ALIX!” chant from her fellow Angelinos.

Ned stands up rather quickly given the dizzying ordeal he just stomached. Despite his groggy state, he explodes to life, pasting Alix with a series of bitter right forearms. Upon ending this uncontested onslaught, The Hustler whips her to a vacated corner. He watches her slam into the padding backfirst, as he follows her in, destruction on his mind. But the only one getting destroyed here is him, as the chocolate haired babe sidesteps his blitz! Blanchard has a nasty meeting with the turnbuckles, but the pain has nary a second to register in his mind before he has Alix descending on him like some kind of tanned beach goddess with a body splash. He leaps clear out the way, confident she'll suffer the same unfortunate fate as he. But she actually manages to land flawlessly on the second rope, popping the audience and driving him mad in the process. Even more distressing is that she flips at him with a moonsault press! However, instead of  squishing him to the mat as is customary, she choses to turn her move into an [i]inverted ddt[/i]! But Neddy Bear squashes that scheme, surprising her with a sudden snap mare! The moments shock that move bought is all the champ needs to take her back first onto his shoulder, and hook her legs and necks. Mortally frightened, she squirms mightily against his grasp, but this insurrection simply makes him more determined to punish her. He releases her legs and throws her body into the air, as he starts to sit out in preparation for the finish of his [i]psycho driver[/i]. Yet our heroine eludes certain doom with a graceful backflip towards freedom! The Ned Man lands on his ass empty handed and with a basement dropkick heading to his face!

[b][color=#FF0000]KRAAAAAACK[/color][/B]

COLE
The Handsome Hustler isn't so handsome now!

Alix stands at Ned's side, and bounces her cute little wabbit tail up and down, kicking the fans hormones into overdrive, and tail spinning Jimmy C into a hissy fit! After her saucy display concludes Alix takes to the sky and rotates backwards, landing on Ned with a flashy standing moonsault. The referee hits the mat to count the resulting pinfall, but barely makes it past one before Cornette finally makes himself useful and puts Blanchard's foot on the ropes.

“BOOOOOOOOOO”

COACH
What do these people expect him to do? He's not here for moral support! He's here to win, baby boy!

Openly fuming, Ally Cat rises, ready to eliminate the meddlesome Louisville nuisance. However she's cut off by a clubbing forearm from a previously unnoticed Simon Singleton. With The Sultan now registered on her radar, Alix spins to deck him with a discus punch. But the fast moving starlet isn't quick enough to beat the fast hands of Si, who contracts her into a front facelock. Simon succeeds in lifting her with a basic vertical suplex. Unfortunately that minor success is the [i]only[/i] success he'll have, as Alix slips out of his hold, landing behind him and making sure to apply an advantageous rear facelock. Spezia swiftly twists their bodies around, forcing them to face each other and morphing her rear facelock into a front facelock. From there she sends Simon's body bending and twisting with a roll the dice! Double S' brawny neck awkwardly snaps off the mat, and he instantly bellows in severe anguish. 

CABOOSE
Many wrestlers have weak necks to begin with, so a high impact move that targets the neck will be extra lethal.

The pitiful cries from his friend rouse Ned from his lethargy and lift the long since written off superstar off the canvas. Blanchard billows towards Alix with a thunderous lariat, but she ducks the strike with unsettling ease. Having grown bored with venting her rage on two opponents, the lovely lady decides to kill two birds with one stone and hurt both gentlemen at the same time. As such she attaches herself to Ned with a full nelson, then slings his entire body forward like a shoebox with a her finisher [b]The Midnight Motivation[/b](full nelson facecrusher)! A deafening ovation bounces from the stands as Blanchard's large mellon lands precisely on Simon's minuscule unit! A distressed Singleton wildly howls into the night sky, as Ned's mouth looks to be permanently lodged against his frank n'beans.

COLE
(muttering to himself)
Ned Blanchard, you lucky devil. What I wouldn't give to trade spots with you.

Alix mercifully covers Simon. Silverman, who hasn't a clue as to who the legal man, makes what everyone believes will be the match ending count!

CROWD
1


CROWD
2

CROWD
BOOOOOOOOOO!

What's responsible for this negativity? Jim Cornette has positioned himself on the apron, and like clockwork the official has been distracted by his presence. Every last person in the Staples Center pelts the manager of champions with a variety of vulgarities, but he revels in the negative attention. That is until Jade Rodez decides to physically address his troublesome efforts! She marches over to his position, and yanks him clear of the apron, leading the fans to cheer her gumption. Cornette, on the other hand, is downright appalled that this eighteen year old valet would show such blatant disrespect for an unmatched wrestling legend like he. Thus it's with no second thoughts that he SLAPS her across the cheek! The onlookers oooh in response, assured that Jimmy's just secured himself a good ass whupping. An enraged Jade, a red handprint on her face, doesn't dare let these fans down, kicking Corny in the stomach, and scrambling his brains with a DDT onto the outside mats!

“JADE! JADE! JADE!” chant the fans, as the recipient of their love triumphantly pumps her fists into the air.

COLE
Hot dog! That a girl!

CABOOSE
[i]Hot dog[/i]?

Meanwhile, Ned, the one champion still standing, doesn't appear to give two hoots towards the plight of his possibly concussed manager. His attention is singularly centralized on his brawl with Alix, in which both competitors seem more then willing to knock the other back to the ice age. After three of his jabs go unanswered, Ned gains the confidence to fire precision strikes down on Alix's noggin. However Ally ends the lopsided nature of the brawl, with a frantic burst of energy and ups the ante with a few painful elbow shots to the nose. The crowd cheers each one of her punches, as Ned is reeling under her uncharacteristic striking offense. But The Hustler battles back with a snapping jab, then follows that weak blow with a more dangerous left cross. However Ally Cat leaps with a wide right that smacks Ned along the cheekbone before his own punch can connect! Looking to protect his rapidly swelling mug, Blanchard turns his back to his unrelenting rival only to meet up with the acrimonious stare of Krista Isadora Duncan! With the crowd chanting her name, Krista buries a boot into Ned's bread basket, doubling the champ over. She leaps onto his expansive back, and uses it as launching pad to shoot herself into the air. Hurt, bewildered, and outright fearful of his vengeful ex, Ned lifts himself upright, wondering where she vanished to. At which point her shapely legs lock around his neck, and their glorious strength rip him off his feet with an audience pleasing hurricanrana!

“K-I-D! K-I-D! K-I-D!” bleat the onlookers.

“CAN A BITCH GET A HANDCLAP?!” Krista asks the raucous spectators, as she rises to her feet.

Indeed she can, Krista! But she can also get clothesline to the face courtesy of The Sultan of Sarcasm! Or can she? No she can't because Krista grabs onto his stocky thighs and levitates him straight into the air. Extended upright like he going for the world's highest leapfrog, Simon is caught unawares, and simply looks on in confusion as Miss California darts underneath him. He travels towards Alix where he wraps his legs around her shoulder, hoping to hit the ever popular hurricanrana! But no such luck strikes him as she shifts his momentum downward and bashes his back into the canvas with a sit-out powerbomb! The official is right there to make the count!

CROWD
ONE

CROWD
TWO

Ned ends the pinfall with a dropkick to Alix's back, eliciting an unsettled groan from the lips of the audience members. Seeing this, Krista lets out a roar that could rattle every window within a four mile radius, as she pounces on Ned with quick fisted fury! After her hail of punches ceases, she grabs onto to Blanchard's arm and hurls him to the ropes! The Handsome Hustler has the good sense to take a dive through the cables and avoid further well deserved thrashings! But unfortunately that leaves poor Simon to catch the brunt of the chicks' ill temper! Alix scoops him up and sends him for ride to orange ropes. Playing an unwitting part in their show of dominance, he bounces back to have Alix blast him with an enziguri and Krista to cut him down with a leg sweep, their double team finisher [b]The Carpet Biter[/b]. 

“C-O-D! C-O-D! C-O-D!”

Before any pin can be made, Ned storms back into the ring and surprises Alix by chucking her over the top rope. Needless to say this doesn't sit well with Krista who promptly caves in his face with a crowd thrilling superkick in response!

CABOOSE
I think Ned and Simon are about have another short title reign!

COLE
I wish I could share that sentiment but something is up, Boo-Boo!

The audience's attention becomes diverted, and their mood significantly worsens when they spot HI-YAH heavyweight champion [b]Christian Wright[/b] journeying to ringside. There looks to be one single underhanded thought on his mind, as the devious star nears the battlefield. He brandishes his shimmering title, preparing to enter the ring and use it to wallop his newfound enemies in Chicks Over Dicks. But Jade Rodez, showing admirable boldness, refuses let any harm come to her friends and leaps onto Wright's back! The fans give off a huge pop, thinking this will signal a short end to Wright's unwelcome presence. But to the man himself she's merely a minor inconvenience, one effortlessly brushed aside by a piggy back stunner! Jade flops onto her back, submerged in an all-embracing blackness.

“BOOOOOOOOO!”

COLE
How could he do that? That's an eighteen year old girl! And look at him smiling. You're real proud of yourself, aren't you? You jerk!

Hysterical with anger over what just transpired, Krista starts to go through the ropes in order to give a smirking Wright a sound beating. However a slight tug on her pants stops her dead in her tracks! Soon that slight tug, applied by Ned Blanchard, pulls her back to the mat in a pinning position! The referee, not detecting Ned's fistful of tights and the fact that Wright's holding his boot for leverage, actually counts the pin! Alix tries to bust up the pinfall, but a semi recovered Singleton grabs onto her legs as if his title reign's life depended on it! The count continues unabated.

ONE



TWO


COLE
Damn it, no!



THREE

[b][color=#696969]DING DING[/color][/b]

The fans immediately chant, “BULLSHIIIITTT! BULLSHIIIIT!” as [i]Chase[/i] returns to torment ears across the globe!

COLE
I can't believe it!

The incensed audience comes completely unhinged. Robbed of their chance to see their hometown heroines win their second tag team titles, they attack the ring with a deluge of boos, debris, and unrestrained vehemence. Ringside attendants have to scatter lest they be hit with one of the many pieces of trash pouring into the arena floor. Even Michael Buffer can't make the official announcement, for he has to find a way to avoid beer cups, and nacho containers. Meanwhile, Wright, exuding contemptuous arrogance, saunters back up the ramp, chuckling at COD's and Jade's misfortune.

CABOOSE
This doesn't surprise me at all. Typical way of the Upstarts. The girls got screwed.

COACH
Wouldn't be the first time today. I know that for a fact, baby boy! :lol:

Simon gathers up both belts, and gets the hell out of town, unwilling to tempt lady luck after she's been so generous. Ned, now outside, lingers about, blowing a kiss to a knocked out Jade, condescendingly asking various medical officials if she'll be okay. Krista rushes to Jade's aid, managing the onerous task of ignoring Blanchard's spiteful insults, as she checks on her hurt friend. Ally stays in the ring, giving Silverman an earful about his glaring incompetence.

COACH
As The Upstarts representative here at Sofa Central, allow me to offer congrats to the finest tag team in pro wrestling, Ned Blanchard and Simon Singleton! What men! What warriors! Little Maya should be proud to have a father like Ned. And these people from LA are classless. So your team didn't win? That's no reason to make the ring look like a garbage dump! This would never happen in Northern California.

COLE
The Midnight Express stole one, Coach! How do you expect the fans to act? If it wasn't for the cheating of Christian Wright and Ned Blanchard, this place would be rocking! Poor Jade Rodez. Christian Wright, what kind of human being are you? He makes me sick. How can someone who claims to be a champion of moral conduct help a scumbag like Ned Blanchard? Christian Wright, you can just go to hell! I hope Zack kicks your ass, jerk!

Edited February 27, 2006 by Patty O'Green