KingPK 0 Report post Posted March 3, 2006 With Zero Hour in the books, the OAOAST looks forward to the marquee event of their year, AngleMania V. Tonight, we begin the final stretch on the Road to AngleMania in St. Louis, Missouri, home of the Cardinals, the Busch brewing company and, of course, the Sklar Brothers. Uh...yeah. Anyway, into the arena we go as another sold out crowd is on their feet as the opening pyro blasts around the stage and high above the ring. As it ends, we SWOOP~! over the crowd and over to Sofa Central where your hosts for the night are also ready for some action. COLE We are here LIVE in St. Louis, Missouri for HeldDOWN! I'm Michael Cole along with Jonathan Coachman and Caboose and guys, it was quite a night this past Sunday in Los Angeles for Zero Hour. CABOOSE It certainly was, Cole. Brock Ausstin finally won singles gold, beating Alfdogg for the Heartland title in what many are calling an early contender for 2006 Match of the Year. The 'net has been buzzing about it all week. COLE Tonight, Brock defends his title for the first time against another winner from Zero Hour, Thunderkid. Also tonight, we will have a rematch of sorts from Zero Hour as Tha Puerto Rican defends his 24/7 title against Leon Rodez, but this time, Colombian Heat has been added in to make it a triple threat match. CABOOSE Go ahead, put as many guys against him as you want, PR always walks out the winner. COACH We'll also hear from both the winners of the 2006 Anderson Cup, the Heavenly Rockers and apparenly we will also hear from the losers the Boomer Sooners, who believed they were wronged in that match. COLE And of course, it was a great closing to the night this past Sunday at Zero Hour, as Zack Malibu was able to defeat Christian Wright for the HI-YAH Heavyweight Championship! COACH It was bullsh...BOGUS even! Zack Malibu is not the HI-YAH Heavyweight Champion. CABOOSE Oh he is. COLE Hey, it was Axel himself that said the match could only end via Bo's hand, and that's exactly how it did, although, well, haha, he did have some female assistance. COACH See, that's what I mean! Zack Malibu should've been DQ'd for interference right then and there! COLE Seeing as how the referee hit him with a beltshot earlier in the contest, and held back from the three count, I think all that came to be was perfectly fair and acceptable. COACH You would. Kissass. Papa Roach is cued up, and the ensuing crowd pop is deafening, as "Getting Away With Murder" is the soundtrack to the new HI-YAH Heavyweight Champions entrance! Malibu, wearing his normal preppy attire, heads down the aisle with the belt draped over his shoulder, looking proud to be a champion once again. CABOOSE Listen to the crowd...you see Coach, this is what it means to be a respected superstar. COACH Please, these people are sheep. I guarantee if we came up with a witty catchphrase, they'd be all up on our jock too. Malibu climbs into the ring and is handed a mic, taking center stage as both the music and crowd noise die down. He looks out to the crowd several times, nodding to the fans in appreciate, before everything settles and he's able to speak. MALIBU You know, I have been through a lot for this company. I've certainly had my moments of glory. I won my first OAOAST World Title at Anglemania II, my second one at Anglemania III, I won that brutal TLC match just about six months ago with Leon Rodez as my partner, I survived the Iron Man Match with Shattered Dreams...but this past Sunday could have been my finest moment yet! *crowd roar* MALIBU I say that not because I have this gold strap draped over my shoulder now. I say that not because I now represent the pinnacle of Japanese wrestling, as well as the OAOAST, I say that because the victory this past Sunday night wasn't just a physical one, or one for a belt. It was a victory for the OAOAST as a whole, because now The Upstarts see that even when they stack the deck, that things don't always turn out the way they want them to! COLE Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-men! MALIBU Nobody gave me a chance going into that match Sunday night. Christian Wright pinned me clean, one, two, three, in the center of the ring two weeks ago right here on this show. Last week, he left me a bloody mess after a shot with the same belt that's here in my hand. Then Axel decides to appoint Bohemoth as the special referee, and everyone was so sure "Zack's gonna blow it." "His temper is going to get the better of him." "He's going to shoot himself in the foot, he'll never be HI-YAH Champion." Well, you know what, you were WRONG. Because I did what I do best...I fought from underneath. I fought back against the odds. You think I have such an ego, Axel, Peter Knight, whoever...then why do I LOVE being the underdog? Because that's when I know YOU have made the mistake. It shows your insecurities. It shows kinks in the armor. It shows that deep down, you're afraid. You KNOW your time is limited as champions, as general managers, as members of this roster. You know, and I've said it before and I'll say it again now...I'll take everything you throw at me. I'll take you all on, or one at a time. I'll take anything you want to put me through. C'mon and take your best shot, because me on my worst day is better than any of you on your best day. You think that because you have the power, the gold, that it makes you superstars. That it makes you mean something? You know what makes you mean something? Not when you win a match, or a title, but when you win the RESPECT of your peers, the respect of the population, the respect of each and every single one of these people here, at home, overseas, EVERYWHERE. WORLDWIDE RESPECT. That is something I've achieved in my career, something that some of you have never accomplished. Something that some of you have pissed away, choosing to try to get to the top quickly rather than work. Well I didn't do that. I might have not always made the right choices, but they were my choices that I fought through, that I suffered through. I chose to stand against you nearly one year ago when this "revolution" came to be. I chose to play peacemaker amongst my peers, to get us all on the same page, and it is my own choice to stand in this ring and take what comes next, because this is MY company, this is MY home, and I'm not going to rest, I won't even stop for a breath, until I've beaten you all so badly, so much, that you finally accept defeat. I... "Wait just a minute, mate." "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Malibu stops short, and turns and looks up the aisleway, as the suited up General Manager, and the man who helps head The Upstarts cause, AXEL, comes out to the aisleway. AXEL You know, I was generous enough not to pull this time from the format. I figure you'd make a proud victory speech, rubbing salt in our wounds and getting everyone to agree that praise be to the almight Malibu, for he has emerged victorious yet again! Now what happened Sunday night, I don't like it one bit. Everyone knows that that pinfall shouldn't have counted...BUT...I can admit where I was wrong in stating that the match needed to end by Bo's hand, since Corporate took it literally. Combine that with the fact that those two acid-tripping trollops went to Corporate with complaints of "Equal opportunity" this and "Sexist enviroment" that, and now they've got me under watch by feminist groups worldwide. But I digress. You should be thankful you have friends like COD, and James Blonde and Faqu, who watch your back, Zachary. You should feel so proud that they've devoted their lives to aiding you and not me, because they'll have to pick up the slack while you're gone. COLE Wha...GONE? CABOOSE What's he talking about? AXEL Zack, like every good businessman, I turn negatives into positives. I've got ideas, and I use them to see that my goals come to fruition. Now you were right with what you said a few minutes ago...you ARE the glue holding this place together. You've united friends and enemies alike to defend the honor of this company. You're the glue holding the OAOAST together as we slowly shatter the glass wall you've built up. However, you won't be here to protect your own turf, not for a while at least, because now that you're the HI-YAH Heavyweight Champion, you've earned yourself a first class ticket to the Land of the Rising Sun to defend that title! Malibu backsteps. He knows his responsibilities, but he's not happy with Axel's taking advantage of the situaiton. AXEL That's right Zack, and you're such a proud champion, such an honorable man, that you wouldn't deny HI-YAH your presence. The OAOAST is still walking on eggshells with them, and you, Mr. Company Man, don't want to be the reason for the downfall of a wonderful business arrangement, do you? Malibu takes a deep breath. He's being cornered by his own M.O. AXEL I thought not. Such a sad thing too, for these people. For your friends. For me though, I say pack your bags and get out of my ring, because I have a show to get on with. You've got a flight in the morning. Now's going to be the true test for the OAOAST, Zack. How can they survive without you? Axel vanishes behind the curtains, and the crowd boos his departure as much as they booed his arrival. Malibu stands in the ring, having had the wind taken out of his sails since this was supposed to be a night of celebration, as we fade to black. Commercial break Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted March 3, 2006 As we return, we are taken to the General Manager's office where Axel is ANGRY~! Oh yeah, a lot of effort went into that line people. Anyway, Axel is ANGRY~! because The Upstarts sucked the big one at Zero Hour. And speaking of Upstarts, we're just in time as Bohemoth enters the room. BOHEMOTH You wanted to see m... AXEL Sit down. Axel must be feeling mighty pissed right about now, as the bass in his voice takes the burly bodyguard by surprise. Doing as he's told, Bohemoth does sit down, managing to look cool despite the situation. AXEL So? BOHEMOTH So what? AXEL So what? Bigman, I think you know exactly 'what'. Zack Malibu is the HI-YAH Heavyweight Champion and the buck stops with you. BOHEMOTH Woah, hold up here. I didn't get beat by Zack... AXEL Last time you fought him, you did. But that's not the point I'm making. The specific reason I put you as the referee was because I thought you of all people could handle the job. You're supposed to be Christian's closest and loyalest friend. And yet, despite all that and despite the faith I showed in you, you somehow failed. BOHEMOTH Listen, I hate to talk outta turn here, but the only reason I was reffing was because you didn't book me in a match for the PPV. Sighing, Axel leans back in his seat. AXEL That's not true. BOHEMOTH No? Look, I don't get why you're worked up at me. Zack wins the HI-YAH Heavyweight Title, which means him spending more time in Japan, right? Besides, why I'm top of your hitlist is beyond me. Johnny and Scotty got a match...they lost. Jamie got a match...he lost. Christian got the main event and it was a bunch of crap that caused it, but he lost too. Hell, Ken didn't even have the balls to wrestle his match... Suddenly and without warning, Axel stands up. Defensively Bohemoth does the same and the two big men are face to face for the briefest of brief moments before Bo backs down. AXEL You're treading on thin ice. BOHEMOTH Look, Axel, it ain't my fault, okay? I wasn't gonna count the three. It was all gonna go to plan but Krista screwed it up, she made me count the three, not me. AXEL You're six foot seven, Bo. You're two hundred, eighty four pounds. You're ripped to SHREDS for crying out loud! You're telling me that you, a guy who spends half his working day in that gym out-lifting virtually all the other Upstarts put together, couldn't prevent a hundred fifty something WOMAN from forcing your arm into that mat!?! And you expect me to be satisfied by that? I've got high standards for The Upstarts, Bo. High standards. I don't let just any loser fly this flag... BOHEMOTH (under his breath) Helps if they're related to you. AXEL So here's the deal...no more screw ups. Christian's got his debate tonight with Alix and I want you watching his back. If Krista comes within ten yards of him, you take her out. You getting dominated by a woman again wouldn't do much for that macho image, buddy. If you see so much as a glimpse of Rodez, guy or girl version, deal with them. And if Zack gets involved and tries to return a favour from Zero Hour, I want you to take him out...swiftly and efficiently. You're supposed to be a bodyguard, so guard Christian's body. Got it? BOHEMOTH I've managed okay so far. AXEL And less of the backchat, wouldya? BOHEMOTH ...sure. AXEL Much appreciated. Bohemoth stands up and leaves the room with a sideways glance at Axel, who just shrugs off the conversation and goes back to his ANGER~! At the door, Bohemoth brushes by OAOAST World Champion Peter Knight as he is the next person to grace Axel's office with his presence. He notices the glum look on his boss' face. KNIGHT Come on boss, cheer up. We still got this (slaps World Title belt) and there's no way it is going anywhere if I have anything to say about it. Hey, at least we get Zack out of our buisness for a while, so Bo screwing up might have been the best thing he ever did. So, who is next for my Warmup match? AXEL That's over. KNIGHT What? AXEL You heard me, that's over. See, I just told Bohemoth that I have high standards for this group. That means from everyone on top to everyone in the lower card. Right now, I don't feel that we are performing to the standard that I know we can...and I think I can take some of the blame for that. See, I think we've become complacent a bit and having all the guys see the Upstarts' biggest star, our centerpiece sitting in a luxury box while they go bust their asses in the ring sends the wrong message. And.....well, if you weren't drinking bubbly and eating quesadillas up there....maybe Krista wouldn't have been able to interfere in that match. Knight, now also IN ANGER~! abruptly stands. KNIGHT Now wait a damn minute. I wasn't booked, I wasn't scheduled to do ANYTHING on that show and it was YOU that set me up in that skybox. Don't you even try to pin anything that happened Sunday on me. AXEL Calm down. Calm down, I wasn't blaming you for anything. But I need someone to step up and be a motivating factor for our locker room, and who better to inspire everone than the World Champion, the crown jewel of the Upstarts. KNIGHT All right Axel, what are you getting at? AXEL As of right now, I'm changing the plan for you for AngleMania. Alfdogg, though he lost Sunday night, showed to me that he is someone that will give you all that you can handle at AngleMania. KNIGHT I've been training my ass off all week. Don't worry about me handling Alf. AXEL I know that. You know that. But I don't think Alf knows that. I don't think everyone in the locker room knows that. So, I want you to show them. Over the next month, I am pitting you in two matches, both against opponents that I believe will give you a good challenge. To up the stakes, both matches will be for the OAOAST World Championship. "YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" KNIGHT What?! AXEL Your match with Alf will be for that title, so I want every one of your opponents to be in the same situation that Alf will so that they will give you all that they have. I want you to be 100% prepared to dominate Alfdogg at AngleMania like you did to Popick at AnglePalooza. Your first match will be next week. I'll tell you who your opponent will be over the weekend. That's all. Dismissed. A stunned Knight stands and leaves the office. COACH What the hell? CABOOSE I think Axel might be a little scurred of Alfdogg beating his lapdog and taking his title. COLE On Sunday night, the 24/7 Championship was on the line with Tha Puerto Rican taking on Leon Rodez, with a fifteen minute time-limit tacked on under orders from the champion. And somehow, after a gruelling fifteen minute battle, PRL lucked out yet once more and retained the title despite the fact Rodez quite clearly had his opponent beaten. CABOOSE The record books disagree and so do I. COLE Regardless, in the course of the show we're scheduled to hear from both Leon Rodez and Tha Puerto Rican on what went down at Zero Hour...but in addition, PRL's luck might just run out here on HeldDOWN~! Tonight, he defends the 24/7 Title against not only Leon Rodez, but also Colombian Heat, in a Triple Threat Match! CABOOSE Just another terrible decision from a terrible General Manager. “LIGHTNING CREW!” "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Woah! Well we're wasting no time tonight, because here comes Tha Puerto Rican apparantly! "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Bonds brings the crowd to their feet collectively with rapturous boos. "YYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" Or, not, I guess. CABOOSE Now, this is the way to kick off the show. COLE Wait a minute... CABOOSE Tha Puerto Rican, the 24/7 Champion! COLE ...'Boose, wait up... CABOOSE The best 24/7 Champion in OAOAST history without any shadow of a doubt! COLE ...'Boose! CABOOSE What!?! COLE That's not Tha Puerto Rican. That's not the Lightning Crew. That's... CABOOSE THAT'S RODEZ DRESSED AS THA PUERTO RICAN!! Indeed, it's not the Lightning Crew, but it's 1998 all over again because here comes the 'Lightning Crew'. Of course, ' ' indicate finger quotes, so everyone do that at home while you're reading this segment. Interactive segments- The Future of the OAOAST! Leon Rodez, 'PRL', carries a replica of the 24/7 Title over his shoulder and is dressed in a typically high-brow get up. And, speaking of high brows, the normal eyebrows are accompanied by two rather over-sized painted on eyebrows which stretch right up to the top of his forehead. On 'PRL's' arm is the lovely 'Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez', who is actually Jade Rodez in the lowest cut top and shortest skirt her brother would allow her to wear for the purposes of this segment. Bringing up the rear are the other Lightning Crew members. And, let's face it, they are the 'other' members. Looking like Mr T after raiding a pawn shop, Colombian Heat has apparantly come dressed as 'Vitamin X' tonight, wearing at least 20 different pieces of jewellery. Not to mention the other bling-bling around his neck...a hubcap, an alarm clock, , a and a (naturally). Behind him is 'Mr Boricua', which is actually Otaku II wearing a rather large muscle suit, or possibly a sumo suit, underneath clothes which presumably came from a specialist supplier for ridiculously fat people. Beside him, Spanish Fly has come to the pary as Official Lightning Crew Referee, 'Thomas Rodriguez'. Of course, Fly is still wearing his mask...which makes the fact he has a Rodriguez like shaggy haired wig on top of his head even more COMICAL~! 'Rodriguez' also has a referee's shirt on incase anyone was confused, which seems to have been doused in sweat by the apparantly very nervous 'Rodriguez'. Which leaves John Brickston as 'Cuban Wall', who's just...well, dressed like Cuban Wall. Oh, and he's carrying balloons with him. COLE Wait, why's no-one out here dressed as you 'Boose? CABOOSE They wouldn't dare. COLE Well, maybe we should have Coach do the Caboose imitations then, just so you don't fell left out. COACH My pleasure...OMG LIGHTNING CREW! OMG SPLOOGE~! OMG PUER... Caboose clotheslines Coach out of his chair and he will no longer speak in this segment kthanxbye. CABOOSE Anything else to say, Mikey? COLE Nosir. 'The Lightning Crew' all enter the ring and congregate in the middle, with 'PRL' demanding a microphone. "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" Holding the '24/7 Championship' in his hand, 'PRL' (Rodez) spins the 24/7 spinner plate. Around and around it goes and 'PRL's' eyes light up like a toddler with a new toy. Eventually, 'PRL' realises he's on national TV and breaks his gaze away from the belt for long enough to raise the microphone to his lips. A buzz goes through the arena as 'Vitamin X' excitedly jumps up and down on the spot. 'PRL' (RODEZ) FINALLY... Suddenly, 'PRL' stops. Motioning to 'Cuban Wall', 'PRL' takes one of the balloons that he's holding and pulls it down. Pulling the balloon open, 'PRL' then takes a large gulp of helium before continuing, because of course the real PRL has a high voice and that's FUNNY! 'PRL' (RODEZ) FINALLY... The Lightning Crew... have garnered a crowd reaction! "YYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" 'The Lightning Crew' celebrate, 'Vitamin X' and 'Mr Boricua' hugging each other while 'Cuban Wall' openly weeps in the background. 'PRL' (RODEZ) It's been three long years, but damnit you finally care about me! *Corporate Eyebrow for no particular reason* Now, what The Puerto Rican wants to talk about tonight is...Tha Puerto Rican! See, last Sunday, Tha Puerto Rican woke up, looked at his Corporate Clock and realised that it was Corporate Check-Out Time from the SmackDown Hotel! Luckily, Tha Puerto Rican couldn't afford to stay in the SmackDown Hotel, so Tha Puerto Rican had time to order some Corporate Complimentary Room Service! Tha Puerto Rican wolfed down his Corporate Cereal, supped his Corporate Chocolate Thickshake and jumped in his Corporate Chevy, before proceeding to drive his candy-ass DIRECULEE~! to The Staples Center in Los Angeles, Corporate California! COLE Heh, PRL DOES say Corporate a lot. CABOOSE Shut up, I'm trying to weep here! 'PRL' (RODEZ) And when Tha Puerto Rican arrived, he gathered his Corporate Crew together and he told them that he wanted...no, no...he DEMANDED that at Zero Hour, The Lightning Crew go 3-0! 'PRL' is interrupted, as 'Vitamin X' does the Shane O Mac Shuffle right through his camera shot. COLE Looks like the jungle cat is a little frisky tonight. 'PRL' threatens 'The X-Man' with a backhand slap. 'Vitamin X' cowers away behind a shaking 'Thomas Rodriguez', while 'PRL' gets a re-fill of helium before continuing on. 'PRL' (RODEZ) I demanded the Lightning Crew go 3-0. And damnit, we kinda did! Vitamin X, you laid the Corporate SMACK DOWN~! on John Brickston. Shane O Shuffling forward, 'The X-Man' takes the mic... “X’S A PUSS-SEE!” *Clap Clap Clapclapclap* “X’S A PUSS-SEE!” *Clap Clap Clapclapclap* “X’S A PUSS-SEE!” *Clap Clap Clapclapclap* “X’S A PUSS-SEE!” *Clap Clap Clapclapclap* ...and, guess what's waiting for him. 'VITAMIN X' (COLOMBIAN HEAT) Yo, John Brickston, I beat dat sucka...BOOYAH~! I'm the jungle cat baby. I made John Brickston feel the PPOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNCCCCCCEEEEEEEEEEEEE~! 'X' Shane O Shuffles over to the ropes and sniffs them. He then Shane O Shuffles back, almost knocking 'Thomas Rodriguez' over in the process. 'VITAMIN X' (COLOMBIAN HEAT) I beat that Hack! HACK! HACK! He's a hack and I beat him! Check out my bling, yo, BOOYAH~! and stuff, I'm a jungle cat, I'm the man, look'a me go! *Shane O Shuffle* I'm here...I'm there. I'm a lightning quick, bling bling, jungle cat! 3-0 baby! WOO! Jungl... EVERYONE ELSE SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!! 'Vitamin X' seems disappointed for a moment, before he leaps to the middle rope and screams out another BOOYAH~! to mock applause from the fans. COLE HAHAHA! CABOOSE Ugh! This is terrible! 'X' leaps back down. Suddenly, 'PRL' snatches the microphone away. 'PRL' (RODEZ) KNOW YOUR ROLE AND...settle down, would ya. Baloney. The Corporate Champion was Corporate Chuffed with your performance, X-Man. You really are a jungle Corporate Cat...whatever that means. Now, Corporate Cuban Wall. From Corporate Cuba. Smokes Corporate Cuban Cigars. Corporate Cigars. Corporate Cuban Corporate Cigars. Corporate...uhm...okay, I lost my train of thought. Wall, here. 'PRL' hands off the mic to the MONSTROUS~! 'Cuban Wall'. 'CUBAN WALL' (BRICKSTON) Thank you boss. And might I say, that's a...really nice shirt you're wearing. Really sets off your eyes. And the way you team it with those pants, well it's just really beautiful. Really...beautiful. 'PRL' (RODEZ) Tha Puerto Rican appreciates the compliment, but fells strangely uncomfortable. 'CUBAN WALL' (BRICKSTON) It's okay to feel that way my friend. Uhh...ANYWAY, what I wanna talk about is Zero Hour. Those two little punks Heat and Fly didn't stand a chance up against me and Mr Boricua. Two huge men. Two huge... muscular... heaving stacks of humanity... a real team... sweating... Quick as a flash, the rest of the 'Lightning Crew' leap in to stop 'Cuban Wall' from indulging anymore of his personal thoughts. The crowd eat it up. CABOOSE Oh, gay jokes, real mature! COLE I love it! CABOOSE Well of course you like it, you're the target audience for this sort of crap. That and the fact it's like they took a chapter right out of your diary and decided to play it out in front of millions of people. COLE (dreamily) One day... 'CUBAN WALL' (BRICKSTON) What I meant to say of course, was that me and Boricua kicked ass. We're two badass killers! Manly...like two lumberjacks, trapped alone in the forest without a map, cold, lonely, desperate for intimate company. Or...The Navy. We're real men. And we showed Fly and Heat what real men can do! Boricua grabbed Fly by the throat and pulled him close to his body. And that little midget stood there, helpless, choking on Boricua's big... thick... pulsating... throbbing... uhh, hand! Yeah, his hand! He Chokeslammed him down and I leapt right on top of him and did my thing. He was spreadeagle, there was no way he could resis... Freaking out, 'PRL' snatches the microphone away. He turns back to the hard camera, nervously looking behind him for grabbing hands. 'PRL' (RODEZ) That's...that's enough of that I think. Uh...Boricua, any Corporate Comments? 'MR BORICUA' (OTAKU II) Yeah. I, Boricua. GRRR! Boricua SMASH! Little Fly. GGRRRR! Boricua. SQUASH. Fly. GGGRRRRR! Me. Boricua. Me. Dumb. But. Me. GGGGRRRRRRR! Boricua! ... 'MR BORICUA' (OTAKU II) GGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!! "BO - RI - CUA!" "BO - RI - CUA!" "BO - RI - CUA!" "BO - RI - CUA!" 'Mr Boricua' joins in on the chants, as a despairing 'PRL' takes the microphone back. In the background, 'Vitamin X' shows off some insanely bad dance moves to 'Thomas Rodriguez'. 'PRL' (RODEZ) Well, the main thing is, you won. And that comes to me, Tha Puerto Rican. The man who made it 3-0 at Zero Hour! Sure, Tha Puerto Rican didn't actually BEAT Leon Rodez. Infact, he came within seconds from being an ex-Corporate Champion. But damnit, I still Corporate Count it as a win! I'm riding high! As high as my girly little voice, infact! I triumphantly drew...AND THA PUERTO RICAN MEANS, TRIUMPHANTLY DREW...with that little baloney Leon Rodez! I am still the 24/7 Corporate Champion. *spins belt* I am...OOOH, LOOKATITSPINEVERYONE~! 'PRL' is strangely entranced by the spinning belt, only continuing once it finishes spinning. 'PRL' (RODEZ) I absorbed fifteen minutes of Leon Rodez kicking my Corporate Carcass on Sunday night. And I stand before you, still, 24/7 Corporate Champion of the OAOAST! THA CORPORATE CHAMP HAS SPO - KUN~! The crowd mockingly boo 'PRL'. 'PRL' (RODEZ) And tonight, I will once again find a way to Corporate Cheat you people out of a Corporate Classic Match. I will Corporate Cower from Corporate Competition until I find a Corporate Cheap way out, because damnit that's the way Tha Puerto Rican takes Corporate Care of business! Tell everyone how great I am Lindsay! Finally, 'Lindsay' gets mic. Favouring her neck from the piggyback stunner that Jade Rodez took at Zero Hour for some unknown reason, wink wink, 'Lindsay' goes into over-acting mode. 'LINDSAY' (JADE) Oh, you are SOOOOO the best PR! You totally kicked Leon Rodez tight tushy at Zero Hour and you deserve to be the 24/7 Champion today because you are just that. You're a real, 24/7 Man! I mean, you've got such amazing stamin to last fifteen whole minutes. Fifteen minutes! You're certainly got more stamina than Boricua, trust me babe. Oh man, and when Leon put that big wet kiss on my lips it was the worst orgasmic feeling I've ever had in my life, nothing compared to you PR! COLE Okay, that was a kinda creepy sentence. CABOOSE It's a death sentence, this whole segment is. 'LINDSAY' (JADE) Only you could really make me feel any better PR...well, maybe X, but he's a little selfish with the foreplay. But you're the BEST PR! You're the manliest man. You're the greatest man. You're the biggest man...except Wall, I guess...but you're close, honest! 'PRL' (RODEZ) Tha Puerto Rican's gonna cut you right off there 'Lindsay', because he's getting kinda creeped out, but thank you. 'VITAMIN X' (COLOMBIAN HEAT) HA! FOREPLAY! HA! BOOYAH~! *Shane O Shuffle* 'PRL' (RODEZ) See, Leon Rodez, I'm a man. You may be an ex-pornstar, but we all know who has the largest Corporate *Cough!*, *COUGH!*, *COUGH!* Excuse me. As Tha Puerto Rican was saying, Leon Rodez, you will never...AND THA PUERTO RICAN MEANS... NEVER be the 24/7 Corporate Champion! I will lay the smack down on your Corporate Candy ass tonight as well as Corporate Colombian Heat's Corporate Candy ass! All I wanna know is, what are you thinkin' right now. As you look at me, what do you think? When you look at Tha Puerto Rican, the greatest 24/7 Corporate Champion of all time, what's running through your Corporate Cranium? Thomas, what do you think Leon Rodez is gonna do when he sees Tha Puerto Rican next? Nervously, 'Thomas' quivers forward. 'THOMAS RODRIGUEZ' (SPANISH FLY) I... err, I mean... he... uhh... well, I think... he... uhh... he's gonna... kick PRL's... uhh... kick his ass? I mean, that... might be... what happens. And...he might come after... Vitamin X... or... Wall... or... he might come after...ME! And that scares me... because I'm... uhh... just a weak... pathetic... short... lowly referee... I'm really scared... in situations like this... I just hope that... when he gets to me... I don't... pee my pants... 'PRL' (RODEZ) Nobody wants to see that, Thomas. 'THOMAS RODRIGUEZ' (SPANISH FLY) Too late... "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" CABOOSE That offends me greatly! 'VITAMIN X' (COLOMBIAN HEAT) HA! HE PEED HIS PANTS! BOOYAH~! *SHANE O SHUFFLE~!* 'Vitamin X' shuffles across the ring, doing two full circles before finally 'Cuban Wall' punches him unconscious. 'PRL' (RODEZ) Tha Puerto Rican thanks you for that. 'Vitamin X' continues to lie motionless, until suddenly, 'PRL' gives a signal. On cue he gets up as if nothing happened and Fly tears the wig from his head, Rodez pulling off his cheap sunglasses and dropping them to the mat while Heat pulls off some of the ridiculous jewellery from around his neck. RODEZ PRL...consider this a message. We came out here and dangit, we tried oh so hard to parody you guys. But it was tough. After all, how do you parody The Lightning Crew, when The Lightning Crew are simply parodies of themselves? COLE He brings up a good point. CABOOSE He does not!! RODEZ Bottom line is, you are a joke. The Lightning Crew are jokes. And the very fact that on Sunday night you somehow managed to walk away from Zero Hour with the 24/7 Championship still flung over your shoulder despite the fact I clearly had you beaten fair and square, 1, 2, 3, is perhaps the biggest joke in the history of the OAOAST. Well tonight, the joke's on you. Me and Heat are coming after that belt tonight and you might have been able to stave off us seperately, but against two of us you are in big trouble my friend. And tonight, the 24/7 Title comes off your mantle. RODEZ So PRL, WHATCHA GONNA DO when Leon Rodez lays the smackdown on your candy ass, makes you tap out, feel the BANG~!, and the POUUUUNCE~!, Fear The Spear, And that's the Bottom Line, because that's how I roll, junior...if ya SMEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLL... that I am 4 Real! OOOWW, Have Mercy because I am, a Wrestling...GAWD~!, guarandamnteed, WOOOOOOO~!, my hands are my weapons, and that's the truth, Ruth! HEY YO~! Fuck Me? No. Fuck You! OOOH YEAH, DIGGIT, because I am the Best There Is, The Best There Was and The Best There Ever Will Be...Trust Me, tonight in this very ring PRL, you will Rest...IN PEACE-UH! I am not a nugget, so you can Suck It! You can't see me, WHAT?, I said you can't see me, WHAT?, I said you can't see me...SUCKAAAAAAA~! Yo yo yo, lemme speak on this, viva la rasa, llllllllllladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages, I am your next OAOAST 24/7 CHAMPION OF THE WOOOOOORRRRRRLLDD!!! PRL, are you ready for the griiiiiiiiind, because after tonight you will never forget the name of... shshshshshshshhsh... LEON RODEZ! But, hey, I'm not telling you anything you don't already know. YUR G'ON DUN! YUR G'ON DUN! YUR G'ON DUN... HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Rodez gives the fans a last big thumbs up before flipping the microphone up and over his head, to signal that it's interview over. Leaving the ring, Rodez then leads the way backstage for his fellow bringers of the funny, roared on by the crowd. COLE Well, that was certainly...interesting. CABOOSE Who does this idiot think he is, Pink? Get yourself an identity and stop stealing other people's! COLE That's rich, considering we're talking about Tha Puerto Rican here. CABOOSE Hey, who are you to cast aspersions on Tha Puerto Rican? COLE Oh, boo hoo. Lighten up 'Boose, at least he didn't steal our catchphrases. CABOOSE You don't HAVE a catchphrase, idiot! COLE Oh, MY! CABOOSE ... COLE More HeldDOWN~!, coming up! 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KingPK 0 Report post Posted March 3, 2006 RIGHT NOW, C’mon, it’s everything RIGHT NOW, Catch a magic moment, do it Right here and now It means everything 30 DAYS AWAY The cameras pan around a sea of heads before SWOOPING~! to the men of Sofa Central. COACH I can't believe it. Only 30 days until AngleMania V, baby! CABOOSE Neither can I. Because that's the night Alfdogg brings the OAOAST Championship back home. COACH Oh, please. COLE One of the big matches we'll see at AngleMania V, Sunday night, April 2nd, is for the OAOAST World Tag Team Titles. The 2006 Anderson Cup champions, the Heavenly Rockers, will get their shot at the gold and their arch-rivals, the New New Midnight Express. Let's hear these pre-recorded comments from the tag team champs. We cut to Sarcastic Simon and Narcissistic Ned in front of a OAOAST banner, smirking and clutching the tag titles closely to their chests. SIMON (acting confused) Lookie here! Hey, Ned! What's that thing on your shoulder? (Ned looks down at the belt confused. He studies it a good twenty seconds before coming up empty handed) NED I don't know, brother Singleton! It looks..it looks..it looks like a tag team title belt! SIMON But that's impossible! How could we have the tag team titles? It doesn't make sense! I...I...I don't understand! Weren't we suppose to lose these things to Chicks Over Dicks in LaLa land? NED Everyone said we were! What's going on, Simon?! (The men break out into uproarious laughter) SIMON Oh, man. We're too much. One man's crap is another man's treasure! And two women's sorrow is two dude's joy! Krista may still be passed out face down in a ditch, but I know Ned and I are still riding the wave of euphoria, because we're still the World tag team champions. Once again the naysayers, the odds makers, the haters, and the experts all thought they knew what was gonna happen. It was supposed to be over for Simon and Ned. One more short reign in a career full of them! Even The Govenator, Arnold, was ready to invite the not so lovely ladies up to Sacramento for an honoring ceromony! Hey, Arnold, if ya got the invitaions lying around, send them to me, we need to chat because I've got some socially revolutionary concepts that will shook America's political foundations. But to get this back on track, Chicks Over Dicks got bitch slapped by two pricks with dicks! They were the people's choice to win, but this wasn't an award show, and like the spokesmen for the repressed voices of south central L.A., the SCM, have said in the past -- don't believe the hype! NED After 3 weeks of rigorous training for our match, which included 5 mile jogs down Santa Monica beach starting at 6 in the morning and countless hours watching video tape, some of it wrestling, Simon and I finally get a much deserved night off. Every tag team title defense is an important one, but there was something extra special about this one. Like the Neddy Bear finally got into the sweetest honey pot there is. But you know what they say about all work and no play. Work was Sunday night, when I once again came on top of Krista, but play comes next week when I gave the surprise of a lifetime to one special person in my life. You see, because of Krista's constant attempts to drive a dragger through my heart, she's caused me to neglect many important things in my life such as surfing, tanning, Bill Murrary movies,tanning some more, weight lifiting, staring at myself in the mirrror, tanning again and so on and so forth. But the biggest of them all, she's caused me to neglect the special little lady in my life, the ONLY woman I deeply care about. So next week, I vow to finally be the man in my little princess' life. And there's nothing Krista can do about it. That brings us to AngleMania and the Heavenly Rockers. The contracts have been signed, sealed and delivered. All we wait for now is Sunday night, April 2nd, Trump Plaza, AngleMania V. The feud between the Heavenly Rockers and the New New Midnight Express has spanned over the last year and a half. And no matter how many times we break Synth's arm, or we crush Logan's heart, they still keeping coming and coming. Not anymore. We're on the final track on our little CD. Our concert is at it's finale. We started this war in December 2004, we end it April 2nd, 2006. SIMON Oh, and by the way, good luck on your match next week, Synth and Logan. You don't know how crushed we'd be if you didn't make it to AngleMania. SIMON & NED COLE Words can't describe how much those guys make me sick. COACH Hey they were right, everyone..well, not me....thought they were going to lose on Sunday but they stepped up and took care of buisness. COLE (listening to headset) Whassat? Really? Ok. Well folks, I'm being told there's a situation exploding backstage. Let's get a camera back there! COACH As the only black guy at this table, I feel an obligation to say that all this shit happening tonight is WHACK! CABOOSE Thanks for that. The camera cuts to the locker room where two men are brawling wildly, sending each other crashing into the wooden tables and metal lockers scattered around the room. Crowds of officials immediately run in and try to separate the men, doing their absolute best to move them to opposite sides of the room. The camera pans around to reveal that one of the men involved in this brawl is OAOAST Legend Tony Brannigan! TONY Get the hell out of here! STOP HOLDING ME BACK! I'm going to finally get this son of a bitch! As if he was Moses spreading the Red Sea, Tony swings his arms to the side and sends the men sprawing towards the far side of the room. He tries running towards the other man again but, before he can, the officials are back on him like a swarm of locusts, keeping him from completely destroying whoever is taunting him. Hmm. Who is taunting him anyway? The camera swings around to the other side of the room to see a bright, cocky grin from none other than....Hoff! "OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" The crowd lets out a surprised roar as Hoff willingly lets everyone holding him back, amused at the show of passion that Tony is demonstrating. HOFF Come on Tony. All I wanted to do was talk to you. That's it. TONY Don't you DARE talk to me! Don't even look to me! You should have been SHOT at the exact moment you even stepped into this building tonight! Tony tries to push past the officials but, again, they manage to keep him back. HOFF What the hell is the matter with you, Tony? Upset because your career is going NOWHERE?! Upset that The Heavenly Rockers are getting title shots at AngleMania and you'll be lucky if you wind up being Alfdogg's personal nacho boy?! Don't blame me for this! It's all your fault! With a scowl, Tony pushes forward again. TONY REALLY?! Do you know what YOU are, Hoff? You. Are. A. Loser. You're someone that could NEVER make it here. How many times you gonna walk out on us? How many times are you going to turn your back on the only company that made your worthless ass HALFWAY FAMOUS?! Suddenly, Hoff's grin isn't as wide as it just was. TONY I am tired of you spitting on all of us. Tired of you spitting on the Heavyweight Title. And I am DAMN WELL TIRED of you spitting on the OAOAST. You left this federation because you didn't have what it takes to make it here. That's all it was. So stop stepping foot here because you CLEARLY don't have the passion that Dan Black or Zack Malibu or Leon Rodez or MYSELF have! In a quick reversal of roles, it's now Hoff trying to shove away the officials desperately clinging onto him. Tony's comments seem to have hit close to home. HOFF You think that's it?! You think THAT'S why I left? You don't know a god damn thing! You don't think I have the passion anymore? TONY I know that's it! HOFF Really?! Fine! Show up to HeldDown next week! Street fight. Me. You. It's that simple. You want to get at me so bad, see me next week! And not that it's a problem, but I don't give a DAMN whether Axel approves or not. Show up here next week and I'll ready to show exactly where my passion in the OAOAST lies. Looking calm for the first time since this altercation started, Tony suddenly locks eyes with the man who was once known as The Future. TONY Street fight between you and me next week? Oh, I'll be here. HOFF I'm glad. TONY You'll just wish that you weren't. With that final comment, Tony willingly lets everyone holding him back to pull him out of the room. With fire in his eyes, Hoff stares down the legend as he makes his exit. HOFF Yeah, Tony. We'll see. (Back to Sofa Central) COLE Hoff? I was wondering where he went after what happened a month ago. CABOOSE Great, so what the hell is he doing sticking his nose where it doesn't belong again? COACH Apparently he's going to kick Tony's ass next week. 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KingPK 0 Report post Posted March 3, 2006 PRL promo Classical music plays in the background as the camera pans across a beautifully decorated mansion, leading to... TRUMP Hello, I'm Donald Trump, owner and CEO of OAOAST Entertainment, Inc., and I'm here to tell you about AngleMania V. (Shots of Trump Plaza and Casino) TRUMP (V.O.) The epitome of parody wrestling e-federation major events is coming to my Plaza and Casino in Atlantic City, the most gorgeous casino in the most gorgeous city in the world. Back to Trump. TRUMP Join me, won't you, in experiencing the most spectacular event in OAOAST history. And yes, someone will be... Close-Up: Trump TRUMP FIRED! April 2nd, 2006 The classiest, most luxurious, AngleMania ever! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, it is now time for the return of one of the most celebrated talk show hosts in television history. Please welcome the host who puts Oprah, Maury Povich, Donahue and Sally Jesse Raphel to shame; the host of THE LOUISVILLE SLUGGER... Mr. Jim Cornette! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" "Chase" hits, and out to the interview stage comes a banana colored suit wearing James E. Cornette, still beaming from his New New Midnight Express sucessfull title defense Sunday night. CORNETTE Ah, shut up, you stinkin' losers. Tonight you're in for a treat, because once again back by popular demand is The Louisville Slugger! You wouldn't believe the cards, the letters, the e-mails and phone calls that came through J.C.E. and OAOAST headquaters asking for the Slugger to return so yours truly could get down to the bottom of the event that occurred after the Anderson Cup Finals at Zero Hour. And unless you've been living in a cave in Afganistan -- and if you are, you're probably in trouble with the United States -- you know two things happened. One, my Midnight Express put Laverne and Shirley in their place and came out still the World tag team champions, and two, the Heavenly Rockers employed a cheap tatic to win the 2006 Anderson Cup and therefore a tag team title match at AngleMania V. So with that, I'd like to welcome my guests at this time, the uncrowned Anderson Cup champions...the Sooner Bruisers! Whooooooooo! A mixture of cheers and boos accompany the Sooner Bruisers to the interview stage, "Frankenstein" blaring over the multi-million dollar sound system. Jim Cornette greets the brothers with a smile and a handshake, but is shunned away. Always on his feet, Cornette quickly recovers and begins the interview to hide his embarrassment. CORNETTE Let's be blunt here. We haven't exactly exactly seen eye-to-eye in the past, fellas, but as a man who believes in the spirit of competition, what happened at Zero Hour was a miscarriage of justice, in my opinion. When the Man of Tomorrow caught Logan coming off the top and reversed his attempted crossbody into the 69 Driver, the match was over. Everybody knows it. There was no way Logan Mann was going to kickout after the BUTT-kicking he had already receive. But then he goes off and pulls one of the lowest stunts I've ever seen, faking a neck injury so he could buy himself time. I mean, he had everyone fooled...except you, Frank. You saw through that charade. You repeatedly tried to pin the man, only for special referee Arn Anderson, a man who, for the record, retired due to a neck injury and was conned just like the rest of us, to stop you so Logan could receive medical attention. We all know what happened next. He rolled you up for the 1-2-3. I know some in the media are trying to paint you as the bad guys, but I don't blame you for what you did afterwards. I think I probably would've reacted the same. I just want you guys to know there are a lot of people out there, myself included, who understand what you were going through emotionally and still support you. And I'm also here to tell you you have the complete support of my legal team if you wish to take this matter to court and tie-up the AngleMania tag team title match contract for weeks, months, even years so that you can receive the title shot that is rightfully yours. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COLE Yeah, and so your New New Midnight Express won't have to face the Heavenly Rockers at AngleMania V. COACH James E. is only trying to right a wrong. CABOOSE He's trying to recruit the Sooner Bruisers into his stable. FRANK If there's one thing we hate more than pot-belly managers in polyester suits, it's attorneys. You see, my brother and I wear our emotion on our sleeves, and sometimes our emotions get the best of us like it did at Zero Hour. The great Arn Anderson put it best a couple of weeks ago, when he stood on this very stage and said the Anderson Cup Finals involved the highest stakes outside of the tag titles themselves being on the line. We gave our heart and soul in that match. My brother and I have been dreaming about becoming tag team champions since we were little kids growing up in Oklahoma and wrestling in our backyard. Sunday night, we came 3 seconds away from getting a shot at gold on the biggest night in our sport, AngleMania. The next thing I know, Arn Anderson is pushing me back, telling me Logan is hurt bad. When I saw Logan wasn't moving and the EMTs rushing out from the back, I became concerned just like the rest of those watching live and at home. Then I got rolled up. If there's anybody to blame for our loss, it's me. I'm man enough to admit it. I've been around this sport long enough to know about the chess games guys play on each other during the match to gain the upper hand. So I apologize to my brother, our fans, and most of all I apologize to the Heavenly Rockers for my actions after the match. I snapped in the heat of the moment, everything the Frankensteiners worked hard for flushed down the drain in 3 short seconds. Logan, you of all people know what it feels like to have something you deeply care about the most be taken away from you. Believe me when I tell you, I regret what I did. CORNETTE (chuckling) No, no, no. You have nothing to be sorry for. If anybody should be apologizing, it's Logan Mann. Think about it. While you're apologizing, Synth and Logan are still celebrating in Vegas over their win Sunday night. And speaking of our good friend, maybe you've heard they have a match next week against the South Central Militia, a tune up for their AngleMania match. COLE More like a hit. COACH Shh! CORNETTE (CONT'D) Now I know you say everything is fine with the Heavenly Rockers, but if, uh, you know, they somehow got injured by "accident or act of God," I'm sure Jim Cornette Enterprises would handsomely reimburse the person or persons who helped the Heavenly Rockers get to a medical facility, if you know what I mean. FRANKIE Yeah, and it stinks! "YEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHH!" FRANK The only time my brother and I would throw down with you and your goons is inside the ring or over a bridge. We've told our side of the story. Wheather you believe it or not, that's up to you. But we're not gonna stand out here and listen to you shove your crap down our throats. As far as we're concerned, this interview is over! The Sooners walk off the stage, leaving Jim Cornette all to his lonesome. CORNETTE Well, there you have it. The Sooner Bruisers. Built like trucks, brains like pinto beans. This concludes another exciting edition of The Louisville Slugger. I am your host Jim Cornette, saying keep your feet on the ground and the eyes in the back of your head. Especially you, Heavenly Rockers. CUE: "Chase" COLE The Sooners saw right through Cornette's little ruse. Good for them. COACH Not if the Express wins at AngleMania. Then it will be very BAD for them. Up Next: Tha Puerto Rican vs Leon Rodez vs. Colombian Heat for the 24/7 title. OMG A MATCH~! Commercial break Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted March 3, 2006 COLE Welcome back to St. Louis everyone. It’s all about divide and conquer for Tha Puerto Rican in this next matchup. He has to defend his 24/7 Title against two men who have formed an alliance as of late based on their hatred for him. Colombian Heat and Leon Rodez, two men that have been SCREWED by PRL, get another chance at the title tonight on HeldDOWN~! in a Triple Threat Match! CABOOSE Here we go Mikey! It’s time for PRL to kill two birds with one stone! He is going to take out Colombian Heat AND Leon Rodez tonight in this Triple Threat Match! After tonight, PRL will be rid of those two pesky rodents FOREVER! You can guarantee it! COLE Well, earlier tonight the three combatants in the 24/7 Title match had a few words for us. Here is what they said. *Starwipe to Colombian Heat, who stands in front of the HD logo* HEAT Yo, peep this peeps! PR, you been gettin' real lucky for a real long time now. But tonight, there ain't nothin' lucky bout wha's gon happen to you! Me and Leon, we're comin' after you. It ain't about me verse him. You ain't gon' play us off against each other. You a wanted man, dawg. You in trouble! Big trouble! Two men verse one? You ain't gon' stand a chance. An' dat means, I'm'a finally get some rizzenge for what you did at Palooza. Now, I ain't sayin' I'm a Golddigger, but tonight, I'm'a take your title jigger, a'ight? *Starwipe to Leon Rodez* RODEZ Tick-tock PRL, tick-tock, tick...TOCK! I don't know why I'm saying that exactly, because tonight, there is no time limit for you to hide behind. It's just gonna be you and me...and, my good friend Colombian Heat, of course. Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. And when tonight's game of human tennis, with so suitably playing the part of the ball and myself and Heat as rackets, it goes one of two ways. Either Heat somehow manages to sneak in a win...or tonight, I gain a little revenge for Zero Hour. One way or the other PRL, you won't pin us. You won't make us tapout. And PRL, you will not survive with your 24/7 Title around your waist... The camera cuts to the backstage area where “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican is. Puerto is wearing his Puerto Rican flag bandana, sunglasses, an earring on his left ear, a gold chain around his neck, a black sweatshirt, blue elbowpads, Puerto Rican flag wristbands, black sweatpants, and his red wrestling boots with the Puerto Rican flag airbrushed over them. PR holds his custom made spinner 24/7 Championship belt over his left shoulder. “THE CORPORATE CHAMPION” THA PUERTO RICAN So tonight The Corporate Champ has to defend his title against not ONE, but TWO jabronies in a Triple Threat Match! Wonderful, what will the OAOAST think of next? They totally surprised me with this announcement by the way. I expected to relax tonight, that’s why I didn’t bring my gear. I tried to convince the OAOAST Board of Directors to hold the match off for another night, but they refused, biased old bastards. So, that means YOUR CORPORATE 24/7 Champion is going to walk down the Corporate Ramp, slide into The Corporate Ramp, and lay the smackdown on Colombian Heat AND Leon Rodez! Those two goofs think I screwed them out of the title? Give me a break! The fact of the matter is this. Leon Rodez. Colombian Heat. NEITHER of you are fit to wear the PRESTIGIOUS 24/7 Championship belt. PRL spins the belt plate. PUERTO RICAN NEITHER of you are fit to end my record breaking 10 month long title reign. And the fact is Leon, Heat that NEITHER of you will beat me tonight and become 24/7 Champion! That’s just not going to happen! But I’ll tell you what’s going to happen. You two are going to beat the hell out of each other, because it’s not just me that you have to contend with. Oh sure, you’ll do some double team moves on me, I’m sure of it. But then you’ll realize that this is a 24/7 Title Match. And that’s when the greed will set in, and you’ll beat the hell out of each other. Meanwhile, I just sit back and watch the fireworks. And when you have beaten each other enough, I’ll make the pin, and walk away STILL YOUR CORPORATE 24/7 Champion! And that, Leon, Heat, is the truth, Ruth. THE CHAMP HAS SPO-KUN~! PRL does the Corporate Eyebrow and then spins the belt plate again. (Cut back to Triple C.) COLE PRL is certainly confident that he will still be the 24/7 Champion after tonight. COACH That’s because he WILL still be the 24/7 Champion after tonight! COLE Anyway, those interviews were taped earlier today, BEFORE Leon Rodez parodied The Lightning Crew. You bet Tha Puerto Rican watched that segment live! COACH I bet that segment added more fuel to the fire. PRL is going to use that segment as inspiration tonight. He’s going to remember how Leon and Colombian Heat mocked him and The LC, and he is going to be PISSED. Belee dat, playas! COLE Before Coach further turns into Teddy Long, let’s go to the ring! Triple Threat Match coming up on HeldDOWN~! A piano plays a melody, causing the crowd to cheer. The lights go down in the arena, turning back on in tune with the melody. DMX COME ON! *BOOM~!* Pyro explodes, leaving behind fire that burns on both sides of the entrance stage. “Gasolina (Remix)” by Daddy Yankee featuring Lil’ Jon and Pitbull starts playing. The crowd cheers loudly as the entrance doors slide open and Colombian Heat storms out. Heat bounces across the entrance stage, raising his hands to acknowledge the fans. Heat is wearing his brand new yellow Colombian Heat soccer jersey (available now on OAOASTShopzone.com!) COLE Could this man be the next 24/7 Champion? Colombian Heat points to both sides of the entrance stage, and then walks down the entrance ramp, slapping hands with the fans along the way. *DING DING DING* MICHAEL BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a Triple Threat Match scheduled for one fall, and is for the One And Only AngleSault Thread Twenty-Four/Seven Championship. Introducing first, the challenger, coming to the ring at this time. Originally from Bogotá, Colombia, but now residing in Miami, Florida. Weighing in at 180 lbs. He…is…COLOMBIAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT! Colombian Heat is still walking to the ring as “Gasolina (Remix)” continues playing. COLE Colombian Heat has waited for a rematch for about a month now. And now tonight, he will at long last, get his well-deserved rematch against Tha Puerto Rican! Colombian Heat hops into the ring. Heat gets on the second rope and does the “WESTSIIIIIIIDE” hand signal, receiving cheers. Heat then gets on a second turnbuckle, and throws up the “W” hand signal again, receiving more cheers. COACH Well, let’s not forget Michael Cole. Colombian Heat must go through Leon Rodez too if he wants to win this match! This is not going to be one-on-one like Anglepalooza. Heat must beat two men in order to become 24/7 Champion. COLE Heat isn’t really concerned about the 24/7 Title. He just wants to get his hands around PRL’s throat. That’s what this is all about. The 24/7 Title is second to beating PRL. CABOOSE To borrow a phrase from Vince McMahon, that’s not going to happen tonight, that’s not going to happen ANYNIGHT! Colombian Heat gets off the second turnbuckle and calls for a microphone. COLE Are you stealing stuff now? CABOOSE No, I’m “borrowing”. There’s a difference. COLE Not a huge difference. CABOOSE It’s there. Colombian Heat grabs a microphone. COLOMBIAN HEAT Yo, kill the beat. “Gasolina (Remix)” by Daddy Yankee featuring Lil’ Jon and Pitbull dies down. The crowd is still cheering. Heat looks at the crowd. CABOOSE Lower class filth. COLOMBIAN HEAT All right, let’s do this right in ST. LOUIE! (CHEAP POP!) HEAT If all of y’all are ready to see me make Tha Puerto Rican AND Leon Rodez feel the Heat, and become the next 24/7 Champion, then make some noise up in this— “BIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHH~!” COLOMBIAN HEAT Heh, heh, you know how I do. CABOOSE Does someone have a translator for this guy? I have no idea what he says most of the time. Colombian Heat puts the microphone away. He bounces off the ropes, getting ready for his match. The crowd buzzes in anticipation of the next entrance. Heat removes his new soccer jersey and throws it to the crowd. He looks at the entrance. COLE Colombian Heat has become a popular superstar here in the OAOAST, but I think there is one superstar who surpasses him in popularity. *GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG~!* “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE And it’s this man. *”Come on man, let’s go.”* *”DON’T CALL IT A COMEBACK! I’VE BEEN HERE FOR YEARS!”* “Mama Said Knock You Out” by LL Cool J starts playing, causing the crowd to get into hysterics. The entrance doors slide open, and the one and only “Silky Smooth” Leon Rodez comes out, raising his hands in the air like he just don’t care! Tonight he is wearing a silver robe. COLE Listen to this reaction for Leon Rodez! CABOOSE What? I can’t hear you! What? Leon walks down the entrance ramp, slapping hands with the fans along the way, winking at the ladies. BUFFER And his opponent, challenger number 2. Coming to the ring at this time. From Grand Rapids, Michigan. Weighing in at 228 lbs. He is a former X-Division AND World Tag Team Champion AND the host of The Love Shack. He is “Silky Smooth” LEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN ROOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDDEEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ! Leon shadowboxes for the camera. Colombian Heat eyes Leon as he enters the ring. COLE Four days ago at Zero Hour, Leon Rodez was robbed of the 24/7 Title when the 15-minute time limit ran out! CABOOSE Who’s to say he was robbed? Maybe PRL could have kicked out of the Because The Lady Loves. Maybe he was about to. COLE Well, I doubt it, but we’ll never know as the bell rung before the count of 3, which meant the match was a draw, which meant that PRL kept the 24/7 Title! Leon Rodez mugs for the camera, and then gets on the ring apron. He holds out his arms triumphantly as “Mama Said Knock You Out” continues playing. He enters the ring. Heat is jumping up and down in the ring. COLE Tha Puerto Rican has certainly irked Leon over the past week. Last Thursday, he held a special edition of “The Lightning Shack” on HeldDOWN~!, and then last Sunday at Zero Hour, PRL made sure his match with Leon Rodez went to 15 minutes. CABOOSE Hey. PRL won that match fair and square. There was no screwjob involved. COLE What about Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez putting PRL’s foot on the rope? CABOOSE That was nothing! Nothing that had to do with the time running out! COLE Sure. Sure. Leon raises his hands again for the cheering crowd, and then removes his silver robe. He drops it on the outside, where a ringside attendant catches it before it hits the floor, and removes it from ringside. Colombian Heat is stretching in the ring, watching Leon. Leon glances at Heat, but then goes back to stretching. COLE Earlier tonight, Leon Rodez mocked The Lightning Crew with the help of Colombian Heat. They were all fun and games earlier, but now it’s down to business. Now, it’s time to fight PRL for the 24/7 Title. CABOOSE They’re going to cause each other to lose. Just watch. The belt will come in the way of their alliance, and they’ll fight. Watch. It’s going to be great. I can’t wait! COLE We’ll just have to see about that. Leon Rodez and Colombian Heat glance at each other, and then look at the entrance. There is only one entrance left. And that is The Champ’s entrance. “Mama Said Knock You Out” by LL Cool J dies down. The crowd buzzes in anticipation of PRL’s entrance. CABOOSE Now, here comes a REAL entrance! The lights go down in the arena. A Puerto Rican flag appears on the AngleTron. In big white blocky letters, the following words appear on the screen, with Tha Puerto Rican saying them: *THE CHAMP IS HERE!* With that, a lightning bolt hits the entrance, the PRL entrance video plays on the AngleTron, and “Know Your Role ‘99” begins playing, while the crowd stands up and boos. PR is heard saying, “THE CHAMP IS HERE!” throughout the song, while smoke fills the entryway, and the lights flicker on and off in the entrance. A few seconds elapsed; the entrance doors slide open, and out through the smoke come “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican. The crowd’s boos get louder, although there is a noticeable squeal of delight from the ladies in the crowd. PRL is a good-looking man after all. PR looks at the crowd in disgust, wearing his warmup suit, and holding his custom made spinner 24/7 Championship belt over his left shoulder like a purse. PRL jaws with some fans. CABOOSE THE CHAMP IS HERE! COLE I know. Tha Puerto Rican spins the belt plate on his 24/7 Title belt, and then walks down the entrance ramp as “Know Your Role ‘99” continues playing. BUFFER And their opponent. Coming to the ring at this time. From San Juan, Puerto Rico. Weighing in at 220 lbs. He is the leader of The Lightning Crew AND the One And Only AngleSault Thread Twenty Four/Seven Champion of the WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORLLLD; he is “The Corporate Champion” THA PUERTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RICCCCCCCCCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNN! Puerto sneers at both Leon and Colombian Heat, and both give him dirty looks. Chants of “P.R. SUCKS!” fill the arena as the Corporate 24/7 Champion continues his walk to the ring. CABOOSE Guys, I think we’re looking at a man who will hold the 24/7 Title for the rest of his life. COLE You say that even though the match hasn’t started yet? CABOOSE Eh, I’m so confident that PRL will win that I’ve already thought about the future. About AngleMania! PRL has gotta be involved in AngleMania somehow! It’s the 5th Anniversary AngleMania! COLE I bet Tha Puerto Rican will be at AngleMania, but will he be the 24/7 Champion at AngleMania is another story. Tha Puerto Rican gets on the ring apron and sneers at the crowd. PR spins the belt plate one more time and then enters the ring. He spins around, soaking in the fans’ boos, and then does the HBK-muscle pose while pyro goes off behind him. The crowd is still booing loudly and chanting, “P.R. SUCKS!” CABOOSE He will. Mark my words. PRL will defend the 24/7 Title at AngleMania V. Count it! Colombian Heat and Leon Rodez actually discuss something as PRL heads to a second turnbuckle and raises his custom made spinner 24/7 Championship belt over his head. He then tells Leon and Heat to move out of the way so that he could hit a second second turnbuckle to raise his spinner 24/7 Title belt over his head again. PR hits a third second turnbuckle, and raises his belt with his right arm in the air. He “smells the electricity” a’la The Rock. PRL does the same Rock pose on the fourth second turnbuckle, receiving boos. Puerto looks at Leon Rodez and Colombian Heat. COLE You have to wonder what is Leon Rodez and Colombian Heat’s strageaty for this match. Do they team up and go for the common enemy? Or do they just go every man for himself? So many questions heading into this matchup! CABOOSE Hey, here’s a question. Why is the OAOAST forcing PRL to defend the 24/7 Championship when he doesn’t even have his gear on? I mean, look at him! He’s in his warmup suit for Chrissakes! Couldn’t they just have waited for some other time? COLE Well they felt that Leon Rodez got screwed at Zero Hour, so they gave him a rematch. And they felt that Colombian Heat deserved a rematch after what happened to him at Anglepalooza. So there you go. CABOOSE It still doesn’t make sense to me. It doesn’t! Tha Puerto Rican gets off the second turnbuckle. He removes his sunglasses and earring on his left ear and hands them over to a ringside attendant. The lights go back on in the arena. Leon Rodez and Colombian Heat come closer to PRL, ready for the match to start. PRL trash talks Colombian Heat and Leon Rodez as “Know Your Role ‘99” dies down. COLE It looks like PRL is getting this match started early. Tha Puerto Rican points a finger at Leon and then at Heat. He spins the belt plate in their faces. PRL trash talks them some more. Leon and CH just stand there, ready for the bell to ring. PRL gives Leon Rodez the middle finger, and then gives Colombian Heat the bird. COLE Oh, that isn’t going to sit well with the two of them! COACH PRL has TWO men gunning for him! Two men who hate his guts! He’s in for a fight tonight! PRL sneers at Leon and Heat, and then hands his belt over to referee Mike Sparks. Mike Sparks raises PRL’s spinner 24/7 Championship belt over his head to let the crowd know this is a title match. He then hands the belt over to a ringside attendant. PRL, Leon Rodez, and Colombian Heat stand ready to attack. CABOOSE Come on! Ring the bell already! Come on! Come on! COLE Hold on, Caboose. Just hold on. Referee Mike Sparks calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* TRIPLE THREAT MATCH FOR THE OAOAST 24/7 CHAMPIONSHIP “THE CORPORATE CHAMPION” THA PUERTO RICAN (Champion) vs. LEON RODEZ (Challenger) vs. COLOMBIAN HEAT (Challenger) A brawl erupts between the three superstars! The crowd cheers as Tha Puerto Rican tries to fight off Colombian Heat and Leon Rodez. COLE It looks like one question has been answered! Tha Puerto Rican soon gains control, punching Leon Rodez AND Colombian Heat. One Rock punch for Leon! One Rock punch for Heat! PR goes back and forth giving Rock-style punches to Leon and Colombian Heat. But then, Leon blocks a punch and punches PRL! Colombian Heat then punches PRL! Leon punches PRL! Heat punches PRL! Leon! Heat! Leon! Heat! The crowd loves it! CABOOSE Stop it men! JUST STOP IT! COLE Leon Rodez and Colombian Heat are having their way with Tha Puerto Rican! Leon and Heat continue taking turns punching Puerto. Puerto is becoming dazed and confused from all the punching. Leon grabs PR, and lifts him up, giving him Hemorrhoids! He follows that up with a STO/Backbreaker! Leon looks at Colombian Heat. Heat heads to the ropes and bounces off them, doing the “Where The Hood At?” onto Tha Puerto Rican! CABOOSE GODDAMNIT! I SAID STOP! STOP! COLE They aren’t paying attention to you, Caboose! They’ll too busy trying to win the 24/7 Title! Both Leon and Heat stand up. They watch Tha Puerto Rican, who is starting to get up. Leon and Heat say a few words to each other, almost as if they’re talking strageaty. COLE The plan seems to be, “Keep PRL down, and then beat on each other”! COACH Well that’s a horrible plan! A horrible, horrible plan! Colombian Heat picks up Tha Puerto Rican. He forearms him in the face a few times, and then Irish whips him into the ropes. He goes for a clothesline, but Tha Puerto Rican ducks the clothesline, and follows with a flying clothesline of his own! PR immediately gets right back up, and taunts Heat. However, when he turns around, Leon Rodez is there to meet him by giving The Corporate Champ his own clothesline! “YEEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!” CABOOSE Damnit guys! He’s had enough! He’s had enough! Colombian Heat lies on the mat, recovering from Puerto Rican’s clothesline. Meanwhile, Leon Rodez picks PRL up by his black sweatshirt. Rodez punches PR in the face while the crowd chants “LE-ON! LE-ON! LE-ON! LE-ON!” PRL fights back with a few punches of his own. This leads into a slugfest between the two. COLE We’re seeing a rematch of Zero Hour last Sunday! CABOOSE And we’re gonna have the same result as Zero Hour! Leon gains control of the slugfest. He gives him a European Uppercut, and then grabs PR by his right arm and whips him into the ropes. PR bounces off the ropes, Leon grabs him, goes for a hiptoss, but Rodez catches PRL’s legs on the way down and cradles him in his arms. He then lifts PR back up, before dropping PR into a backbreaker! No Fat Chicks! COLE No Fat Chicks for Leon Rodez! COACH No Fat Chicks for Da Coach either! Holla~! CABOOSE You’re becoming more and more of a parody each day. You know that? Leon looks at the crowd…and then does the universal sign for the 450! The crowd cheers. COLE He’s going for it! He’s going for his finisher! Because The Lady Loves! CABOOSE Oh no! Leon exits the ring, looks at the crowd again, and then climbs the top rope. Tha Puerto Rican lies on the mat in pain. Colombian Heat is starting to get up. COLE If he hits this, it’s over! Leon Rodez stands on the top rope. He looks at the crowd one more time… AND THEN JUMPS OFF DOING THE BECAUSE THE LADY LOVES!!! IT CONNECTS! COLE Because The Lady Loves! Because The Lady Loves! Leon covers PRL. Referee Mike Sparks counts. The crowd cheers. COLE New Champion! 1… 2… 2 ½ 2.99999999999999999999999 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! COLOMBIAN HEAT PULLS LEON RODEZ OFF OF THA PUERTO RICAN! *GROOOOOOOAAANNNNNNNNN!* CABOOSE Yes! I’ve never thought I say this but, “Thank You Colombian Heat!” COLE Colombian Heat just stopped Leon Rodez from winning the 24/7 Title! This marks the second time in four days that Leon Rodez has come close to winning the 24/7 Title! COACH Good! Leon Rodez is, obviously, annoyed with Colombian Heat for pulling him off of Tha Puerto Rican (God, does that sound dirty). But he is even more annoyed when Colombian Heat covers Tha Puerto Rican! Mike Sparks counts. 1…. 2… Now LEON pulls HEAT off of Tha Puerto Rican! COLE Now, it’s Colombian Heat who has been stopped from winning the 24/7 Title! CABOOSE See! I told you! I told you! The gold would come into play! The 24/7 Championship would come into play! This is going to divide Colombian Heat and Leon Rodez! Now’s the perfect opportunity for PRL to attack! Divide and conquer PR! DIVIDE AND CONQUER! Colombian Heat asks, “Yo! What was dat for?” Leon says that he wasn’t going to let Heat pin PRL. Heat yells at Leon. COLOMBIAN HEAT Yo, dawg. It’s everyman fo’ himself. You know what I’m saying? Leon nods because he actually *DOES* understand what Colombian Heat is saying. Heat gets up, and yells at Leon as he comes closer to him. COLE Uh-oh. This could get ugly. Colombian Heat and Leon Rodez are now face-to-face. They are yelling at each other, as the crowd watches, wondering what’s going to happen next. COACH Well, Leon and Heat aren’t friends. They are only together thanks to their hatred of PRL. Colombian Heat shoves Leon Rodez! Leon Rodez shoves Colombian Heat! They get into a face-to-face again. “LE-ON! LE-ON! LE-ON! LE-ON!” CABOOSE Yeah! That’s it! Hurt each other! Hurt each other! Heat and Leon look like they’re about to blow... But Tha Puerto Rican grabs Leon Rodez and throws him over the top rope and onto the floor! COLE And there’s Tha Puerto Rican, taking advantage of the situation! COACH Beautiful! Beautiful! Puerto laughs evilly at Leon Rodez’s misery. But when he turns around, Colombian Heat hits him with a spinning heel kick! Heat covers PRL. He gets two. CH picks PRL up, punches him in the face, and then whips him into the ropes. PRL reverses. At the same time, Leon Rodez is on the ring apron preparing to get into the ring. So when Colombian Heat bounces off the ropes, he bumps into Leon Rodez! Rodez falls off the ring apron and hits the announcer’s table causing it to break! COLE Oh my! Leon Rodez has just been sent through the announcer’s table! COACH Whoa! I can’t believe it! I can’t believe how powerful PRL is! CABOOSE That was amazing! Bravo! Bravo! Leon Rodez lies in the wreckage of the announcer’s table. He appears to be knocked out. The crowd is shocked at what they just saw. COLE Let’s take a look at the replay of that! The OAOAST HeldDOWN~! logo flashes across the screen. The footage of Leon Rodez falling through the announcer’s table is shown. COLE Tha Puerto Rican was able to whip Colombian Heat into the ropes, causing him to bump into Leon Rodez, who fell through our announce table as a result! CABOOSE That was splendid! Absolutely wonderful! Somebody give PRL a medal! The OAOAST HeldDOWN~! logo flashes across the screen again. We return to live action as Tha Puerto Rican is beating on Colombian Heat with Rock-style punches to the temple. The crowd is busy booing Tha Puerto Rican. “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” PRL taunts the fans, and then goes back to punching Colombian Heat. Punch. Punch. Spit in the right hand. Punch! Colombian Heat falls to the mat. The crowd starts chanting, “LE-ON! LE-ON!” Rodez is still lying in the wreckage of the announcer’s table. Puerto Rican picks Colombian Heat up and punches him in the face—NO!—The punch is blocked! PRL goes for another punch—The punch is blocked! Colombian Heat fires off with punches to PRL’s head! This gets the crowd fired up! COLE Colombian Heat is making the comeback on his FORMER best friend! Heat has Puerto dazed enough that he whips him into the ropes—PRL reverses---and PRL comes back with a Samoan Drop! PRL applauds himself after the move! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” PR taunts the crowd again. CABOOSE Oh that PRL! How awesome he is! COACH He is awesome beyond words. That’s how awesome he is! Wooooooooo! COLE Tha Puerto Rican isn’t winning any fans in St. Louis tonight! CABOOSE Meh. What are you going to do? P.R. covers Colombian Heat. 1…. 2…. Heat kicks out! P.R. curses under his breath. But he continues his attack. Leon Rodez has managed to get himself out of the wreckage of the announcer’s table. He is crawling around ringside, trying to shake the cobwebs out of his head. Meanwhile, “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican continues attacking Colombian Heat by doing some shaky-leg kicks on him. This causes the crowd to start chanting: “LET’S GO HEAT! LET’S GO HEAT! LET’S GO HEAT! LET’S GO HEAT!” CABOOSE What a biased crowd this is. Tha Puerto Rican laughs at Colombian Heat. He sneers at him, and then whips him into the ropes. Colombian Heat reverses. PRL reverses THAT. Heat bounces off the ropes….right into a Puerto Rican SPIIIIIINNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEBUSTTTTTTTAAAAAAHHHHH~! COACH Yes! COLE Oh no. COACH Here it comes. COLE Oh no. The crowd is going crazy, half of them booing, half of them cheering. Colombian Heat lies in the center of the ring. Tha Puerto Rican stands over Colombian Heat…and kicks his left arm onto his chest. PRL removes his right elbowpad, spits on it, and then throws it down onto Heat. PRL does some weird hand signals, and then bounces off the ropes. COLE I hate this move. CABOOSE It’s now time for the most electrifying move in professional wrestling, The IntenseZone Elbow! PRL leaps over Colombian Heat, and then bounces off the opposite ropes. PRL sneers at Colombian Heat….and then drops The IntenseZone Elbow on him to a loud pop! COLE IntenseZone Elbow! The IntenseZone Elbow! CABOOSE Serves you right for mocking PRL earlier, you creep! Tha Puerto Rican covers Colombian Heat. 1…. 2… 3-KICK OUT!!! CABOOSE NO! COLE The IntenseZone Elbow wasn’t enough! It wasn’t enough to finish this match! CABOOSE Colombian Heat was lucky! He was just lucky that one time! That’s all! Tha Puerto Rican is annoyed. He wipes his eyes, and then looks at Leon Rodez, who is on his feet, but is winded. Colombian Heat is still lying flat on the mat. PRL takes a deep breath. CABOOSE Just say, “3, 2, 1. 1, 2, 3. What the heck is bothering me? Nothing.” Works everytime. COLE PRL has to go back on the attack quickly, since Leon Rodez is just about ready to get back into the ring. PRL gets up. He drops a fist onto Colombian Heat’s forehead. He drops another fist onto Colombian Heat. He does it a few more times. PRL then bounces off the ropes, stops, shakes his shoulders, dusts his right shoulder off, and then drops another fist onto CH’s forehead. The Five-Knuckle Shuffle! COLE Five Knuckle Shuffle on Colombian Heat! PRL taunts Colombian Heat. He picks up Heat. The crowd chants, “HEAT! HEAT! HEAT! HEAT!” The chants get louder as Tha Puerto Rican punches Colombian Heat in the face with Rock-style punches. Punch! Punch! Punch! Spit! Punch! BLOCKED! Colombian Heat fires off a punch! He fires off another! Heat grabs PRL, going for the Pimp Juice (Flatliner). However, Tha Puerto Rican doesn’t budge. Instead, he kicks Heat in the stomach, puts him in a front facelock, grabs his orange basketball shorts, and jumps up. CORPORATE NIGHTMARE! CABOOSE THE CORPORATE NIGHTMARE! CORPORATE NIGHTMARE ON COLOMBIAN HEAT! COLE Tha Puerto Rican has just given Colombian Heat the Corporate Nightmare! It’s all over! The crowd pops for PRL’s finisher. But starts booing as P.R. covers Colombian Heat. He hooks the leg. Mike Sparks counts. 1… 2… 2 ½ 2.99999999999999999999 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LEON RODEZ PULLS THA PUERTO RICAN OFF OF COLOMBIAN HEAT! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE And Leon Rodez has saved Colombian Heat! CABOOSE Yeah, but I don’t think it was because he likes Heat. COLE I agree. CABOOSE Oh God. Leon grabs Tha Puerto Rican. He punches him in the face again and again! And again and again and again! Puerto Rican fights back with his Rock-style punches, and another slugfest has erupted between Puerto and Leon. COLE Back and forth between Leon and Tha Puerto Rican! Both PRL and Leon are fatigued. They are noticeably breathing hard now. PR gains control and whips Leon into the ropes—Leon reverses. Exploder Slam! 1… 2…. PRL KICKS OUT! Leon is back to work on Tha Puerto Rican, picking him up, and punching him in the face. The crowd is starting to get hot again. Colombian Heat is showing signs of life, moving his arms around, catching his breath. COLE Leon Rodez is beating on Tha Puerto Rican, the man who he almost won the 24/7 Title from last Sunday at Zero Hour, AND the man who he mocked earlier tonight! Leon Irish whips PRL into the ropes. Leon follows that up by giving PRL a drop toehold, sending him throat first onto the middle rope. The crowd cheers. COLE Uh-oh. Here it comes! CABOOSE Oh God. Leon does a little jig, and then runs to the opposite ropes, bounces off of them, and drives all his body weight across PRL’s spine! COACH CALL THAT BITCH BOJANGLES~! COLE Huh? COACH Oh right. Heel. Boo. Hiss. Leon plays to the crowd some. Colombian Heat is sitting up on the mat. He uses the ropes to help him up. Meanwhile, Leon grabs PRL and pulls him back up to his feet. He dusts him off, causing the crowd to chuckle, and then goes back to punching him in the face. COLE And Leon Rodez is just in control of Tha Puerto Rican! CABOOOSE I hope PRL snaps out of whatever he is in right now and goes back to laying the smackdown on Leon Rodez’s candy ass! Leon punches PR down to the mat, but holds him up by his black sweatshirt. The crowd cheers Leon on, as he is laying the smackdown on Tha Puerto Rican’s candy ass. Colombian Heat is now on his feet. After shaking his head, he walks over to Leon Rodez, and joins him in punching Tha Puerto Rican. The Corporate 24/7 Champion has become dizzy and is stumbling all around ringside. Leon and Heat look at each other and get an idea. They both punch PRL in the face. They both do it again. And again! And again! And a FIFTH time! Colombian Heat DANCES~! while Rodez turns to the crowd and blows them a kiss. Leon turns back to PRL and hits an enziguri on him! This disappoints Colombian Heat as he was hoping to finish the Shake, Rattle & Roll. COLE MAMA SAID KNOCK YOU OUT~! CABOOSE Agh! Stupid move and a stupid name! Leon plays to the crowd some more. Colombian Heat eyes angrily at Leon, but then tells him to pick PRL up. PRL is lying face down on the mat following the Mama Said Knock You Out. COLE Tha Puerto Rican has been at the mercy of Colombian Heat and Leon Rodez throughout the match! They have yet to come to blows with each other! CABOOSE It’s not going to last for long, Michael. They are both going to realize they could become 24/7 Champion, and that is going to be the downfall for the BOTH of them! COLE Well, for PRL’s sake, I hope you’re right. CABOOSE I am right. Caboose is always right. Boo-yah. Leon Rodez and Colombian Heat pick Tha Puerto Rican up. PRL is dazed for a few seconds, but he then summons the strength to clothesline Leon Rodez down to the mat! COLE Whoa! That came out of nowhere! CABOOSE Way to go PRL! PRL falls to the mat along with Leon. Little does PRL know that Colombian Heat is standing behind PRL, waiting for him. PRL gets up, taunts Leon, and then turns around. Colombian Heat kicks PRL in the stomach, places him in between his legs, hooks PRL’s arms, turns around, and lifts him up into the air! The crowd cheers loudly. Colombian Heat holds PRL in the air for a few seconds… BEFORE DROPPING HIM ONTO THE MAT WITH THE COLOMBIAN NECKTIE~!!! “YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE Colombian Necktie! Colombian Necktie! Colombian Heat has done it! He has given PRL his finishing move! CABOOSE No! No! Not like this! Not like this! COLE We’re going to have a new 24/7 Champion! Colombian Heat will get payback from Anglepalooza! Colombian Heat covers Tha Puerto Rican. Mike Sparks counts. 1…. 2…. 2 ½ 2.99999999999999999999999999999999 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LEON RODEZ PULLS COLOMBIAN HEAT OFF OF THA PUERTO RICAN! COLE What? No! No! The pin does not count! Leon Rodez made the save! CABOOSE Yes! Thank you Leon! Thank you Rodez! I’ll never say a bad thing about you ever again! COACH Yeah! Me neither! Colombian Heat is shocked, as is the crowd. COLOMBIAN HEAT What’s your problem, man? LEON RODEZ Hey, it’s like you said. Everyman for himself. COLOMBIAN HEAT But I had PRL pinned! I had him beat! You ruined it, yo! Colombian Heat shoves Leon Rodez! PRL is still lying on the mat. Leon is irked, but he tries to calm Heat down. Heat won’t have none of it, as he’s screaming at Leon for ruining his chance to finally beat Tha Puerto Rican. COLE Things are getting heated in the ring. COACH Yeah, I say the partnership between Leon and Heat is dead. CH and Rodez get into another face-to-face confrontation. The crowd is hot, waiting for the two to explode. Heat is spitting out expletives. CABOOSE Come on! Hit each other already! COLE Maybe they’ll calm down. CABOOSE And maybe monkeys will fly out of my BUTT! Shut up Cole! Finally, Leon has had enough, and he punches Colombian Heat in the face! Colombian Heat punches Leon! Leon punches Heat! Heat! Leon! Heat! Leon! Heat! Leon! The two babyfaces engage in a slugfest. COLE And here we go! Finally, Leon Rodez and Colombian Heat are fighting each other! CABOOSE Yes! That’s it! Beat each other! Knock each other out! Beat each other senseless! I WANNA SEE SOME BLOOD! Leon Rodez and Colombian Heat are still slugging it out in the ring while the crowd cheers them on. But as they slug it out, “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican has somehow managed to use all the strength he has left to roll out of the ring. Puerto stops to catch his breath on the outside. He is tired, winded, and in pain from the Colombian Necktie. CABOOSE Look! It’s PRL! COLE Tha Puerto Rican—he’s---where’s he going? COACH He’s on the outside. I wonder why. PRL wipes the sweat off his forehead, and then slowly walks over to the timekeeper’s table. In the ring, Leon Rodez has given Colombian Heat a hurricarana. Leon stomps on Heat. PRL takes his custom made spinner 24/7 Championship belt and slowly walks away. Referee Mike Sparks tries to do two things at once: watching Colombian Heat and Leon Rodez fight, and also watch PRL on the outside. COLE We’ve got action in the ring, but what we’re all paying attention to is the outside. Tha Puerto Rican is taking his 24/7 Title belt and is walking up the entrance ramp! Indeed, Puerto has taken his spinner 24/7 Championship belt and is walking up the entrance ramp. The crowd boos, getting louder as PRL gets closer to the entrance stage. While this is going on, Colombian Heat has Leon Rodez covered. It gets two. PUERTO RICAN Forget it! I’m not doing this! I’m done! I quit! I’m gone! PRL does the “Up yours!” gesture to the ring. Referee Mike Sparks is counting. COLE I can’t believe it. PRL is leaving. He’s just leaving the match! CABOOSE Well, they can’t have this match without PRL! COLE Oh damn it! Mike Sparks is still counting even though PRL has left through the sliding doors. Colombian Heat and Leon Rodez are still slugging it out, so they haven’t noticed that PRL left. 4…. 5… 6… 7… 8… COLE I can’t believe this! 9…. COLE Come on! 10! That’s it! Ring the bell! *DING DING DING* (9:13) The crowd boos loudly. Leon Rodez and Colombian Heat stop fighting. They are shocked and confused at what just happened. The crowd is pissed off. “BULL-SHIT! BULL-SHIT! BULL-SHIT! BULL-SHIT!” COLE You gotta be kidding me! CABOOSE Oh yes, Michael Cole! PRL made a smart decision! He rather live to fight another day! Mike Sparks tells them that because PRL left, the match couldn’t continue. Leon and Heat are both frustrated. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the referee has ruled this match….a DRAW! CABOOSE Phew. BUFFER Therefore, STILL One And Only AngleSault Thread Twenty-Four/Seven Champion, “The Corporate Champion” THA PUERTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RICCCCCCCCCCCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! “Know Your Role ‘99” starts playing. The crowd is still booing loudly. Colombian Heat and Leon Rodez look to the entrance, upset at the decision. Colombian Heat yells, “FUCK!” COLE That sneak! He ran away from the match once he realized he was no match for Heat and Rodez! PRL has once again managed to escape with the 24/7 Title! COACH That’s the mark of a true champion, Cole! PRL has proven time and time again that he is the greatest 24/7 Champion the OAOAST has ever seen. Tonight, he proved it again! COLE Tha Puerto Rican didn’t prove a damn thing! The only thing he proved is that he’s willing to use any and all means to keep his 24/7 Title! CABOOSE Mikey! What a harsh thing to say! Tha Puerto Rican wouldn’t like to hear you say such things! Colombian Heat and Leon Rodez have cooled down now. Leon chats with Colombian Heat about the decision. COLE Colombian Heat AND Leon Rodez were both screwed out of the 24/7 Title tonight. Again! PRL managed to screw two people in one match! CABOOSE Well, it serves them right for mocking The Lightning Crew earlier! How dare they mock PRL! This was karma getting back at them! That’s right! What goes around, comes around, Heat and Rodez! You mocked PRL you paid the price! Quite frankly, if you ask me, they got what they deserved! COLE Yeah, YOU would think that! Everybody else thinks that either Leon Rodez or Colombian Heat should be the OAOAST 24/7 Champion by now! CABOOSE Well, I’m superior to everybody else. Rodez pats Heat on the back, telling him that he did good tonight. Heat thanks him. Leon Rodez leaves the ring. He slaps the fan’s hands as he walks up the entrance ramp. Colombian Heat is still in the ring, upset that he once again missed an opportunity to get revenge on “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican. COLE Colombian Heat was hoping he would finally beat PRL tonight, but unfortunately tonight was not that night. And as for Leon Rodez, you can bet he isn’t done yet with PRL. I’m sure the feud between Tha Puerto Rican and Leon Rodez isn’t over yet! Atleast not until Leon wins the 24/7 Title! CABOOSE Then the feud will last for all eternity, because THAT will never happen! Never! Uh-uh! Nope! Not gonna happen! It didn’t happen at Zero Hour, it won’t happen ever! Never! Uh-uh! Never! Never! Never! NEVER! NE-VER! NEVER! COLE Yeah, I get it Caboose. We’ll be back after this! Colombian Heat is still in the ring. He is still thinking about the match he just had. “Know Your Role ‘99” is still playing. Heat wipes the sweat off his forehead. (FADE OUT) Commercials Commercial break Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted March 3, 2006 (edited) BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen it is time for an official OAOAST debate on the subject of role modelling and it is brought to you by Ecstasy a new fragance by Krista Isadora Duncan! The eloquent funk that makes up the intro of Drop it like it's hot by Snoop Doggy Dogg seeps into the viewing audience's ears. The noise is met with confused whispers from the attendees. But the hushed silence soon turns to brilliant cheering as the special guest moderator appears on screen. He is none other then the dog father himself, Snoop Doggy Dogg! BUFFER Introducing first the special guest moderator, as selected by Alix Spezia, from Long Beach, California her is a grammy nominated recording artist who has gone platinum with over five different albums he is.....SNOOP DOGGGGG!! “YEAAAAAAAA!” COACH My man, Snoop! Alright! Leave it to Axel to bring out the c-lebs! COLE Alix picked him, dummy! Snoop slaps hands with the ringside fans, who forcefully push and shove at each other to get a closer glimpse of the hip-hop mega star. As the noise level reaches it's highest point, he enters the squared circle, which contains two podiunms, and is handed a microphone. “SNOOP! SNOOP! SNOOP!" scream the eager audience. SNOOP The D-O-double geeze in the Big O! Saint Louis, this shit's about to jump off real fast and real quick. I hosted Girls Gone Wild, but ain't nothing more wild then the O to the A to the O. And we gonna get real wild with the Big Boss Dogg as we setting to straight up debate with Christian Wright and my girl Alix Spezia. This is a gonna be some freaky shit, so let's let them dogs out! On cue the hard driving preamble of Slither by Velvet Revolver comes ripping through the arena's speakers! Boos are immediate as the entrance doors tear apart, revealing a snarling, Christian Wright. Outfitted in a charcoal single breasted suit, the vengeful Upstart, throws his arms out to his side, tilting his head towards the heavens and striking a defiant pose of triumph in the face of an unending wave of jeers! BUFFER Introducing contestant number one from Raleigh, North Carolina, he is The Natural......CHRISTIAN WRIIIIIIGHT! More taunts, insults and catcalls drench the snobbish grappler, who struts down the ramp with his head held high in fantastic confidence. But the frown written on his visage betrays his otherwise stoic demeanor. COACH Fellas, this guy was robbed at Zero Hour. Krista Isadora Duncan, who had no reason to be down there, cost the man his world title. Christian Wright deserves to be a champion, and he's a champion in my mind. And we're about to see that not only does he wrestle like a champ, he debates like one to! COLE Wright didn't get robbed! Bo was trying to screw Zack, and Krista made sure justice was served. And Christian deserved no less after what he did to Jade and how he cost the girls their tag titles. CW steps into the ring, careful not to cause any wrinkles to his fashionable threads. Snoop, perhaps unaware of Wright's horrible reputation, offers his hand in friendship. But Wright meets the polite gesture with a contemptuous sneer, and heads to his podium. Soon his rollicking tune fades away, and the chants of “YOU'RE NOT THE CHAMP! YOU'RE NOT THE CHAMP!” are heard crystal clear by his outraged ears. But those chants are soon subdued by a scream of anticipation as a beautiful red pyro fountain rises forth from the stage. It meets with an equally lovely pink pyro waterfall. As the chorus of Nelly Furtado's Promiscuous Girl seeps into the ears of the OAOAST faithful, both the pyrotechnics dissipate, replaced by a booming gold explosion that consumes the entire stage! The fans erupt with a thundering ovation as Alix Spezia, bedecked in a red tube minidress, appears on the stage. She rhythmically jerks her body back and forth to beat of her song, as Buffer prepares to make his final introduction! BUFFER And contestant number two, from Los Angeles, Califorina, she is the 2005 OAOAST female wrestler of the year, ALIX MARIAAAAA SPEZIA! Alix flounces down the ramp, while Wright, sweating bullets, grips angirly onto his podium. He nearly digs his fingers into the balsa wood, but it's all he can do to stop his rage from completely overtaking him. The beloved heroine steps into the ring apron, and slowly and seductively enters the squared circle, causing Snoop to crane his neck for a closer inspection. SNOOP They oughta put a camera in my glasses, 'cause what I'm seeing gots it going on. I feel like the mutha'fucking president right here. Wassup girl? Alright. Let's get make this bizzile crackalizzile. Here the rules.... (Wright is seemingly unable to contain his furor for the female fan favorite any longer. Trembling, he leans into his microphone, and launches a vile barrage of accusations her stunned way, interrupting Snoop.) WRIGHT Do you realize what you have done to me? Do you realize what irreparable harm you and your booze ridden armpiece have done to my reputation? Do you realize that by robbing me of my championship you have turned my once tranquil existence into an anarchic living hell? Is your minuscule brain, no bigger then the droppings of a Shar Pei puppy and with all the intelligence to boot, capable of comprehending what wrongs you have transgressed towards me? ALIX Uh, is this all gonna be old stuff I already know? Or is this new stuff? I'm gonna have to start writing all this down! Jeez, ya nearly choke a guy to death, and ya got an enemy for life! What gives? (singing like the Black Eyed Peas) Where's the love, yall? I don't know. Where's the love? I don't know. One love. One love. One love. (Pushed to the edge of his sanity, Christian steps away from his podium, ready to change this battle from one of wits to one of brawn. However Snoop swiftly intercepts the ill tempered star.) SNOOP Man, chill the hell out. We gonna conduct this debate and we gonna conduct this the right way. So sayeth the muthafuckin dogfather. Now can you deal wit that? Get yo ass back behind the podium. I'm gonna ask you a question, and all you gotta do is answer it. I don't ask you a question, you don't got nothing to say. Simple as that. You follow that one rule we cool. You don't follow that one rule, then when we ain't cool. And believe me, you wanna be cool with a crip. Understand? (Brooding, Wright nods) Babygirl, you caught the rule? ALIX Like herpes from a Tijuana hooker! WRIGHT There! There! Right there! She did it right there! Right there! SNOOP Man, what the did I just tell you? You get done licking the windows on the short bus and decide you wanna play wrestler? What's wrong with you? You wanna speak? I'ma let you speak, then. Make your opening statement. WRIGHT (clearing his throat first) Very well. OAOAST fans are a contemptible lot. Their viewing of Chicks Over Dicks as role models is a pitiful concept, one that should tell you many things about the mind of the common wrestling fan. As I watch these televisual transmissions from the comforts of my dressing quarters, I am often both amused and highly distressed to see the fan base cheer so fiercely for Miss Spezia. What we have gathered before us in the stands today is a freakshow worthy collection of sub-human troglodytes, disgusting in both hygiene and thought, and ugly to the point where they rival the elephant man in terms of unsightliness. While I know it is not proper to judge a book by it's cover. I must allow myself this one slip up. For these fans' outter appearance perfectly symbolizes the frightening hideousness of their horrible souls! “BOOOOOOOOO” WRIGHT So is it any wonder that they're smitten with these Chicks Over Dicks? After all not only are these females as ignorant and boorish as they are, but unlike them, they carry the added bonus of not looking as though they recently crawled out of a sewage plant! Consequently, the meatheaded OAOAST fanbase laps them up like they do a pool of their own urine! Stunning in appearance, the “entertainment” offered by these women shows that they're of the mentality that their thongs serve a dual purpose, both as underwear and a bank deposit for whatever man or woman wishes to slip a twenty into it. What they lack in the style, wit, and class, they make up for with by parading their silicone infested bodies in around tights that display half their posteriors. Each woman commits their own sins. What of Krista Isadora Duncan? She appears as though she should embody the very perfection of the feminine ideal. But this amazon has all the femininity of an out of control jack hammer! The only thing that separates her from the crude violence prone dullard at a local tavern is high heels and Revlon lipstick! She is no woman. She is an uncontrollable hooligan draped in Marylin Monroe's clothing. And what of Alix Spezia? The bile that spews forth from her mouth would overflow a toxic waste dump. Disgusting Jezebel. She like so many other women would've been better born a mute. This nymph openly flaunts her promiscuity and sexual deviancy without regards to shame or modesty. She freely discusses her abusive past with her cave-dwelling brethren as if it was a mere comedy prop. Her general idiocy would give any man with a lick of sense pause. Thankfully for her, there are very few people in wrestling besides myself who have that lick of sense! If Alix Spezia was to speak her mind, I do believe she would be speechless! She is no woman! She is a glorified street walker! Now let us put her on the street so that she may earn us some extra revenue! COACH I'm buying! Can I get a frequent drivers card? Heeeheh. I know I'll be smacking that bumper! WRIGHT A proper female is to be docile, respectful, modest and most importantly silent. Alix and Krista are unruly, disrespectful, flamboyant, and loud. And for that I highly recommend they, like any woman who does not know her station, be slapped and smacked until the shroud of silence falls over them. What somebody such as Krista is doing is inspiring a generation of young women to believe that their place isn't at beck and call of their husbands, and underneath the scrutinizing eye of man. She is tricking them into believing that a woman's role is not dictated by the oven timer! And you fools cheer for them! You celebrate their appearance on your television! You take Krista as a strong female role model! And that is a horrible indictment of you as individuals, and as a group! And for that you deserve nothing but hell and misery! “YOU'RE NOT THE CHAMP! YOU'RE NOT CHAMP!” chant the audience, reminding Wright of his own personal anguish. SNOOP Alix, hit me with a rebuttal. ALIX Oooh, ooh, ooh! Christian, you've just sent a little man up my BUTT and he's telling me it's time to rock on out! And when I've got a little man up my BUTT, yelling in my ear to rock the hell out, I say “I'm gonna rock the hell out!” Unless that little man happens to be rubber and strapped on to someone, in which case I usually say “Krista, can ya stop tugging on my hair so hard?”. But back to the point! And the point is women's lib! Women's lib is most the gnarly thing since Kool-Aid Jammers! Women's lib is like a power up for the soul! Like mushrooms to Super Mario! Speaking of, I've been eating mushrooms since I was little bunny, and I never turned into a giant like Mario, all I do when I eat shrooms is ride unicorns across the sky of 18th century Egypt with Jimi Hendrix and Mama Cass. Sometimes Roger Daltery from The Who comes by on a pink dragon, but then he remembers he's not dead yet, and bails. Anyway! Women's lib is like totally empowering! To everybody! It gives all of us the strength to stand up and say “We're not gonna take it! No we ain't gonna take it! We're not gonna take it anymore!” Like without women's lib my Aunt Karen might still be working at the Busy Beaver All Nude Revue! But because of women's lib she was empowered to stand up for herself and say “This neon pink cowgirl outfit and glow in the dark boobie tassels demeans me as a woman and objectifies me as a sex object!” And women's lib gave her the strength to quit that job and a take a better one! One at Tan Fannies Thick BUTT Showcase, where they respect her right to shake her money maker without degrading her womanhood by wearing demeaning boobie tassels! Hooray women's lib! (Wright starts biting his lip, a futile effort to stifle his rage) ALIX Because of movements like women's lib, we know that it's okay to be who you want to be! Women's lib gives us all a great sense of self confidence! We can all say I'm here and I'm queer! I'm black and I'm back! I'm white and I'm right, but not right in the sense that I will continue to subjugate the same minority groups I've oppressed and belitted for a gazillion years! We can say I'm Asian and uh...nothing rhymes with Asian. But they're still dope! It empowers you to be able to express yourself the way you want to, and not the way someone else wants you to! Christian, you can express that you think I'm a dirty whore, and I can express that I think your next vacation should be to a redneck biker bar wearing a tinker bell costume and carrying a bag full of Barbra Streisand albums! Freedom of expression is wonderful and we owe it to women's lib! Movements like women's lib are about giving us back control of our lives! They give us control of our bodies and our souls so that we can do who ever we want! WRIGHT Do you mean do what ever we want? ALIX I said what I meant! Because of people in the women's rights movement and others like it continue to fight for our freedom of self expression, you and I are able stand up here today and have this debate! And because of all that I have to say I respectfully disagree with your opening assessment and say that Diet Doctor Pepper does taste like regular Doctor Pepper! (At this point Wright loses his shit) WRIGHT (going red, looking like he's about to explode) That...that....that....HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE SUBJECT AT HAND! I hate you! I hate you! Rapper man, I don't recall your name, disqualify this girl at once! Make haste! Declare me the victor! (Wright latches onto Snoops arm and starts to vigorously shake it, as chants of “ALIX! ALIX!” ring through the air) SNOOP Man, what the hell is wrong with you? Get up off me! You always act like this? You need to get you some weed, some hen, some hos, something to calm yo crazy ass down. God damn. Alix, girl, that was some powerful ass shit, right there. Deep. But the man's got a point, this here topic ain't about liberatin' but role modelatin'. For rizeal. ALIX Awwww! Well, I ask that my comments be stricken from the record! WRIGHT That is a court term! We are not presently located in a courtroom! ALIX Oh! Well then, I rest my case! WRIGHT Strumpet! I believe it is my turn vocalize my concepts and ideas, Puff Daddy. SNOOP It's Snoop....Dogg. WRIGHT Dully noted. You all look alike anyway. Now present me my query. Be quick about it, boy! SNOOP I'll be quick 'bout something. It ain't gonna be what you want me to be quick about. Here you go, what makes a good role model? WRIGHT A good role model is someone who does not speak as if she is paralyzed from the nose up, such as this wild bimbo. A good role model is not someone who's g-string goes down faster then a Popsicle stand in December. A good role model isn't someone like Alix Spezia who wouldn't know left from right if you gave her four guesses. There is your answer. The squalor, the filth, the wanton sexuality, the depravity, the reckless display of carnal pleasures, the promotion of uncontrolled substance abuse, the glorification of the degeneration of the American family, and the complete absence of anything wholesome or good that Alix Spezia and Krista Isadora Duncan represent authors a wicked mindset among their numerous devotees, and makes it a certainty that if their smut is allowed to proliferate unchecked by the moral majority, society will be sunk into something little more civilized then a rabid pack of stray dogs. ALIX Okie dokie artichokie, then who makes a good role model? You? WRIGHT Exactly. Citizens of Saint Louis, rather then relegate you all to the level of methadone clinic out patient, which is the level you belong on, I am offering you my assistance! Anoint me as your savior, and I shall achieve glories known only to the Gods. Seek salvation from sin and perversion with me! Leave this succubus to rot in her cauldron of decadence! Make me your role model! I am doing it for your own good! I am the ideal! I am the moral high ground! You need a man who's slate has not been wiped clean because it's never been soiled in the first place! What you need is a leader, a warrior, who's unassailable morality stands as firm as cast iron bars, and who's vibrantly bursting colors of virtue will not fade from the unrelenting wear and tear put on it by it's trampish adversaries. Most of you would have a better chance of landing on the moon then emulating a being of my majestic splendor. Howeverit is better to try and fail to live in the image of god, then it is to try and succeed to live between the devil's bed sheet. Live through me and join in my jubilant celebration as the tower of my virtuosity rises to the heavens! ALIX That will be the only thing rising with you. Snoop, babe, do you mind if I get my rebutall on? SNOOP Go on babygirl, do that thang. ALIX With so much drama in the O-A-O, it's kinda hard being A-L-I-single X. But somehow someway I keep coming up with funky ass shit nearly every single day. Christian, I'm starting to pick up on a wee bit of jealousy. And why wouldn't you be envious of me? I am an Oscar Winner. WRIGHT You've never won an Oscar! ALIX That's what Jodie Foster's lawyers say, but possession is ninth/tenths of the law, right? Well I possess ten/tenths of an Oscar, so that little golden man is mine, baby! Anywho, were where we? Oh that's right jealously. I think your main problem is that, well, you're not getting any.. I mean your sex life has as much life in it as a school of mortuary science. The only pair of melons you get you touch are the ones in your grocery store's produce aisle! The only time you get laid is when you buy a bag of potato chips. The last time you touched a pussy, you were at Pet-Smart! You couldn't get your hands on a vagina if your initials were O-B-G-Y-N. “OOOOOOOH!” ALIX But that's alright, that's okay! There's a great explanation for why there's no motion in your ocean! And that has something to do with the fact that when Christina Aguilera in her hit song Beautiful sung “We are beautiful in every single way” she added in a silent “Except for Christian Wright who is hideously ugly, and has the barely there facial hair of an acquitted on a technicality child molester.” Christian, I don't want you to take this wrong way, because we're friends, but your so ugly that when your in the bathroom, and someone walks in on accident, they don't say “Sorry, didn't know it was occupied.”, they say “Damn! Somebody left a floater!” “OOOOOOOOOH!” ALIX Christian, you're so ugly that when you masturbate, your penis files rape charges! SNOOP Damn, damn, damn! Somebody just got pimpslapped! “YOU GOT PIMPSLAPPED! YOU GOT PIMPSLAPPED!” chant the fans as Wright starts stomping around the ring in outrage. ALIX Hey, turn that frown upside down, dude! I'm sure you'll get laid one day. I don't exactly think it will be with a real live woman. And just in case it isn't with a flesh and blood chick, and you forget to cover your stump before you hump, lemme be the first to ask....can I have one of the puppies? “WE WANT PUPPIES! WE PUPPIES!” WRIGHT (to Snoop) Your efforts as moderator have shown to be as effectual as attempting to put out the great Chicago fire with a single ice cube! Are you going to allow this lollipop to desecrate my fine name with unfiltered accusations of..of..of..bestiality. SNOOP Man, you just don't quit. Christian, you spit about Alix, so what you gotta say about Krista? WRIGHT Ah Krista Isadora Duncan. While I may not subscribe to her nonsensical pro-choice beliefs, in her case not only must I make a badly needed exception. The next time she gets pregnant, I offer to wield the coat hanger personally! That she beast should have as much right to bear a child as a chimp should have the right to hold political office! What must her daughter think when she looks to Krista, her mother and sees a boisterous, vulgar banshee? What sort of childhood must this girl have had when her first book is not The Cat in The Hat but Why does Jane have two Mommies?? What sort of example is being set for this child? With a mother such as Krista, it would not shock me that if by the time this child's sixteenth birthday rolls around, she spends it not with cake and candles, but by walking a south central street ready to go down on any man with a wad of cash and a brick of crack. ALIX That's it! That's it! That is it! CHRISTIAN Excuse me.. ALIX Quiet, meanie! It's time for me to flip on the bitch switch and jack up the seriousness because you've made this Chiquita an angry little banana! You may think you're like Freddie Prinze Jr and you're all that. But everyone else seems to see you more like Bam Margera, because you're a... “JACKASS!” ALIX Whenever I enter the arena I have to whip out the Lysol because your shit is stinking from miles and miles away. I mean, what the hell makes you such a hot and wonderful person that you can walk around and cast your little judgements on everyone, as if you're the king of the universe we all have to bow down to you? Seriously! Like, what's so freaking awesome about you that you're able to tell me that Krista isn't a good mother? I mean, how dare you. What kind of dick are you? Remove your head from Axel's, Bo's, Coach's , whoever's ass it's lodged into, board your spaceship and join the rest of us back on earth. Do not try and tell me that Krista is a bad mother! You have no idea what she goes through. None whatsoever. And for your sake I hope you never do. You would die if you had to do even an eighth of the work she does. I hope you never, ever, have to walk even an inch her shoes. You'd kill yourself. You'd wake up every morning wishing you were dead. I know I would. Anyone would. But Krista does it because she loves her daughter. Like a good mother should. WRIGHT Puppy fellow, your name seems to be slipping form my memory again, my speech was not complete. Are you going permit her to talk on my time? SNOOP The way you been popping off, be grateful if the only thing I let her do is talk. Go on, girl. ALIX You're a mean one, Mister Wright! You really are a heel! You're as cuddly as a cactus, and as charming as an eel! Mister Wright! You are a monster, and you've totally tricked yourself into thinking that what your doing isn't just cause to have you institutionalized. You so believe your own wacked out shit. And if I didn't work with you this would make great trainwreck TV, but I do have to work with you and it sucks. I can deal with monster who knows and admits he's crazy. Like Hell's Hitmen. When they simulate ass rape in their basement they aren't rationalizing it by saying they're studying the effects that analingus on even dated Friday's has on the migrating patterns of the South African gazelle. They say “Hey, we're in the basement simulating ass rape while a fat Russian woman named Helga rams glass dildos in our mouthes because we like it.” You are way different. When you do something wrong, when you do something horrible, when you try to wreck someone's life, you give this bogus rationalization that it's for their own good. Everything is for somebody else's “good” with you, isn't it? But what you do to people is always something bad. Why not do something good for somebody else's good? That's what a real role model does. WRIGHT I steadfastly maintain that all my actions are for greater good. ALIX Okie dokie. When you gave Jade a stunner at Zero Hour and left her knocked out on the mat, who's greater good was that for, mister? Her's? Hi, Jade I'm a doctor! It's possible you've suffered a severe case of whiplash, and a minor concussion. But I have some good news! You just saved money on your car insurance by switching to Geico? No, Christian Wright did this for your own good! Really, he did? Tremendous! What a swell chap! I think I'll dance the macrena in celebration!” Whatever! Actually the conversation went more like “Why me? Why did he do this to me? Why?” But your conscience was clear as Crystal Pepsi, because you did it for her own good. Tremendous! You're a great guy, aren'tcha!? WRIGHT Jade Rodez attacked me. I was acting purely out of self defense, as is my right by the laws of your homestate of California. ALIX You're delusional, Christian! Any semblance of you being a decent human being is totally gonzo! Oh my god, I've seen less shit in a septic tank then I've seen come out of your mouth tonight. You're insane! I feel so bad for you. And you wanna be a role model? As if! The only group you could ever role model to are aspiring serial rapists! I never ever said Krista or I made good role models, but we're a million times better then you, dude! Let me tell you what else makes you such a bad role model. Despite what you like to claim, you don't do anything for other people's benefit. There is only person worth helping in your world and that's you. You're not trying to make the OAOAST a better place for the fans, you're trying to make it a better place for you. A role model is supposed to have some kind of ability to understand people's feelings and thoughts and accept their flaws. But I guess when god was passing out personality traits that aren't related to being a total dick, you must've been practicing one of those long winded speeches that bore half the audience into changing the channel, because you missed out. You live in an unrealistic and sheltered world, and you want everyone to conform to impossible standards that you and you alone set. And because they're impossible, nobody can meet them. So you judge them, you belittle them and you mow down their individuality. Why? Because if you cut down everyone else, you an emotional midget, look great in comparison. Your whole motive is to try to make yourself feel better at someone else's expense. But in case you didn't notice you always come out looking like the asshole. And I know you're obviously pretty upset about Krissy and I costing ya your HI-YAH title belt. And I understand that, 'cause I'd know I'd be hella mad if I lost a title I hadn't defended in four months. But don't worry, because we did it.... ALIX AND THE CROWD For your own good! (Overcome by rage, Wright furiously kicks his podium, nearly knocking to the mat) CABOOSE Excellent. WRIGHT I shall not lend credence to the drug fueled ramblings of some harpy who feels the need to end every other thought with the word “dude”. I am not your dude, young lady. I am your moral and intellectual superior, and be thankful that I allowed you that moments rambling. For any other woman would've scored a solid punch to the stomach for choosing to speak out of turn as you did. From henceforth, I believe it would be in your best interest to keep your mouth closed, and stick to what you do best, keeping your legs spread. SNOOP Man, that ain't right. WRIGHT That ain't right. Must you bait me to go into my dissertation about how ebonics of the lower class have ruined cultured America. No, your ineptitude must be dealt with swiftly, and perhaps violently. I bit my tongue when I saw that a rapper, and a degenerater of society, a poisoner of the young mind, was selected by this gutter slut to be the guest moderator. But my convictions will lie dormant no more! COACH Here it comes! Here it comes! WRIGHT Because you are a guest in my establishment I shall spare you a vituperative dressing down and cut to my razor sharp point. I demand that you resign your position as moderator. SNOOP Naw. You don't demand nothing of ol Snoop Dogg. WRIGHT If it's payment that is the issue, do not fret. Of course you shall be generously compensated for your rather lackadaisical efforts thus far. I know your people do not aspire towards much.... ALIX Hey! SNOOP My people? My people about to break they foot of in yo ass. WRIGHT Hold on. I was not permitted to complete my proposition! Perhaps you could be placated with some rims, or malt liquor? A bottle of Colt 45, perhaps? (Snoop seems ready to throw down with CW, but Alix steps between him, begging him to calm down, and fearful of what CW might do if they were to brawl. But this moment's hesitation just gives CW further opportunity to insult Snoop.) WRIGHT I have approached you with more altruism then a man of your thuggish character has earned. I now see that this appeal was erroneous on my part! It would seem that the only way that your kind can be reached is through a swell of illegal narcotics, a showcase of gratuitous violence, or the blaring racket of a police siren! Pardon me, Master P, but I must claim ignorance to the mores and social customs that transpired within the urban jungle where your formative years were misspent. But in civilized, mainstream America, where I take residence, tarts such as the one currently protecting you from a savage beating are shunned and disgraced for their lewd actions. Additionally we expect our debate moderators to display a shred of objectivity in their conduct. A gentlemen in your station, now matter how ill his repute may be, owes it to himself and to the integrity of the debate to uphold a sterling impartiality! You sir have failed on several accounts, and I am telling you to answer my calls of resignation from your miscast role as debate moderator. If you do not do so quickly and promptly, your face will be answering to the underside of my boot, and your teeth will be answering to a sharp fist. SNOOP Alix was right, man. You ain't no role model. You need to reevaluate and reeducate you life and your beliefs. You may got it up here (points to brain), but You ain't got it right here (points to heart). And until you got it there, you ain't got it at all. WRIGHT My. Well, you have put me in my place! I fear that my time in your presence has drawn to a close. But before I make my departure, head held low, self esteem held lower, let me say that you have given me something to think about. Now, allow me to give you something to think about as well. SNOOP What? WRIGHT This... (Christian shoves his podium at Snoop, knocking the startled Long Beach native to the floor! As boos fill the Saavis center air, Wright seeks to beat a hasty retreat! However his path is blocked by an ireful Alix Spezia! A well placed right hook sends the Upstart tumbling back to the ropes! The crowd quickly changes their tune as it looks like the snooty superstar is about to receive his just desserts! Alix surges forward, ready to tear his face off with a superkick! But The Meterosexual Monster, Bohemoth, appearing at the best possible moment, reaches into the ring and attempts to pull his friend towards safety! But his grip slips and he winds up causing more harm then good, staggering Wright towards Alix, who blasts him with that thunderous superkick! While the excited crowd roots on the move, he's knocked into the ropes, where he gets tangled like a fly caught in a bright orange spider web. To make a bad situation even more humiliating, Snoop Dogg and Alix join hands and lunge towards Wright! He's powerless to stop the unit as they amazingly double clothesline him clear out of the ring! Wright lands in Bo's arms and the hapless duo clumsily topples to the mats! The fans explode with ear shattering cheers and applause for Wright's comeuppance!) “SNOOP! SNOOP! SNOOP!” (Alix and Snoop celebrate their impressive achivement amidst the rambunctious ovation from the Saint Louis crowd, as Wright and Bo slink up the ramp. Wright offers a sullen Bo an earful for his embarassing folly.) COACH I..I..don't think that was supposed to happen. CABOOSE Hhahahaha! Your boy just got knocked out by a rapper who weighs like eighty pounds! Haaaha! What's the mother f'n name? Snoop Doggy Dogg! COACH While you may have the favor of celeberties and trailer trash divas, we have what's really important, the OAOAST World Title. CABOOSE It's too funny! Coach, you may well be the third most competent member of the Upstarts! Oh man, if Ken Baker and Knight got injured, you'd have to be to be the co-leader with Axel! Hhaahhaa! COLE Well we've got our main event coming u..... CABOOSE Bahahaha!! A guy who is 75% marijuana residue and a woman beat up Christian Wright! I love it! COACH All right, all right. Cole, tell em about the main..... CABOOSE Bo screwed up again! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! (Begins coughing violently while laughing) Ohmigod, I'm laughing myself to death here! COLE (shouting to be heard over Caboose's laughter) BROCK FACES THUNDERKID FOR THE HEARTLAND TITLE NEXT! Actually, I do agree with him. That WAS pretty funny. COACH Rrrr. Commercial break Edited March 3, 2006 by Patty O'Green Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted March 3, 2006 Thunderkid is shown walking towards the curtains leading to the arena, when Reject stops him. TK What's up? REJECT I just wanted to wish you good luck, man. And just know that no matter what happens out there tonight, I'm here, and I'll have your back. TK Thanks. TK and Reject high five, then God of Thunder hits and TK comes through the curtains to a big pop. COLE And it's time for the main event, Heartland title on the line, Brock Ausstin defending it for the first time against this man! BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall, for the OAOAST Heartland championship! Making his way to the ring first, the challenger, weighing in at 260 pounds, and hailing from Green Bay, Wisconsin...here is THUNDERKID!!!!! COLE Thunderkid's first shot at a singles title since back at AngleSlam, since he and his partner Reject were in the Invitational Chamber of Hell match for this same title! COACH I don't think this is fair, you guys, after that match Brock Ausstin was just in this Sunday to have to defend his title already? CABOOSE Hey, if Brock wants to prove he's a better champion than Alf, making this defense so soon after that match will go a long ways towards that goal! TK slides into the ring and poses in the corners, as Punishment by BIOHAZARD hits and Brock Ausstin walks out with his manager, Rick Heyross, showered with boos. BUFFER And his opponent...from Victoria, Minnesota, he weighs in at 304 pounds...he is the NEW OAOAST Heartland champion...BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROCK AUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSTINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!! Brock enters the ring and goes to his corner. COLE Brock Ausstin, for the first time in his career, will be putting a singles title on the line in this match! COACH That's right, Cole! And what a way to win your first singles title, in a match like that against a champion such as Alfdogg! *DING DING DING* Brock and TK circle the ring, then tie up, and Brock shoves him back off into his corner, then poses to boos. COACH And this is one guy TK's not going to push around in there like he has been recently! CABOOSE Absolutely not. TK and Brock tie up once again, and TK takes Brock over with an armdrag! Brock comes back and grabs a side headlock, then gets pushed off into the ropes by TK. TK goes to the ropes himself. CABOOSE And we got a criss-cross! TK drops down, then knocks Brock to the mat with a dropkick! Brock charges TK and gets caught in a headlock takedown. Brock scissors TK's head, and TK crawls around and flips over on top of Brock for a cover! 1... 2... Brock bridges up, then turns and instead of going all the way around with a backslide, picks TK up on his shoulder and brings him back down to the mat with a Dominator! COLE And Brock's got the advantage with that great power move! Brock delivers a knee to the sternum, and covers... 1... 2... Kickout! COLE First pin attempt by Brock, and a two-count! Brock picks up TK and gives him a back suplex, then drives an elbow! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Brock drags TK into the corner, and starts driving in knees, then forearm blows. TK starts to fire back, however, and eventually gets the better of the exchange! COACH I can't believe TK is actually winning this slugfest with Brock Ausstin! I gotta think that match Sunday night took a lot out of the big man. CABOOSE Here we go with the excuses now. COACH No, I'm just telling it like it is. But at least Brock showed up here tonight, unlike the supposed "next World champion." TK sets up a whip, but Brock reverses, sending TK into the opposite corner. Brock charges, but TK gets the feet up! Brock staggers back, and TK hits him with a BIG clothesline, sending him over the top to the floor! COACH Brock out to the floor after that clothesline, and TK's not gonna give him any time to rest! TK grabs Brock and rams his face into the apron! Another attempt is countered by Brock, however, and he goes to the eyes, then sets up a piledriver! COLE Oh no, not a piledriver on the floor! Brock has him up...but TK is able to block, and backdrops Brock onto the floor! CABOOSE And that move backfires big time on the big guy, as he takes a nasty bump on the floor! TK gets to his feet first, and tosses Brock back into the ring, then grabs a chair from ringside! COLE And now the weapons coming into play! As Brock gets to his knees, TK whacks him in the back with the chair! TK then picks up Brock, and delivers a fallaway slam! COACH Wow, I can't believe he delivered that on the big guy! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! TK turns Brock over and drives knees to the back, then waits for Brock to get to his feet and goes to the ropes, but Brock sidesteps a bicycle kick and floors TK with a big clothesline! COLE Big clothesline by Brock there, stopping TK cold! Brock picks up TK in a vertical suplex...and holds him...and holds him...and then drops down! COLE Delayed vertical suplex there by Brock, and here's a cover! 1... 2... NO! TK kicks out! Brock waits for TK to get up...and locks in a BEARHUG! COLE BIG bearhug from Brock Ausstin, it could be just a matter of time here! CABOOSE And it's not often you see Thunderkid getting the life squeezed out of him! Brock jerks back and forth as TK fades slowly, and the referee raises the arm. ONE!!! TWO!!! TK keeps it up on the third lift, and pokes Brock right in the eyes! COACH Cheap move! CABOOSE NO DQ'S! How many times do we have to say that to you in these matches? Brock quickly recovers, and delivers an overhead belly-to-belly! COLE But Brock right back in the action! Brock picks up TK and delivers a gutwrench suplex, then goes to the top rope? COACH Look at this! Have you EVER seen this out of Brock? Brock comes off for a big splash, but TK get the knees up! Both men are out on the mat, as the referee begins his count... ONE!!! TWO!!! THREE!!! FOUR!!! FIVE!!! SIX!!! SEVEN!!! EIGHT!!! TK sits up, and starts to make it to his feet! Brock follows him up, and drives a right hand! TK fires back! Another by Brock, another returned by TK! A third by Brock is blocked and returned by TK, and then TK starts to fire off more and more, before Brock drives a knee to the midsection! Brock picks TK up for a PRESS SLAM~!, but TK goes behind the back, and executes a German suplex! Cover... 1... 2... NO!! Kickout by Brock! TK goes to the top rope as Brock gets to his feet, and comes off with a MISSILE DROPKICK! TK with another cover... 1... 2... ANOTHER kickout! COACH Wow, these are some really close calls! COLE And if this keeps up, we could see a very short-lived reign from Brock! TK goes right back to the top, and jumps off again...but this time Brock catches him with a shot to the gut, sending TK to his knees. COLE But no, Brock still with great presence of mind! Brock goes behind, and attempts a Blue Thunder driver, but TK is able to counter in mid-spin to a frankensteiner! COLE Great counter by TK! TK backs off as Brock slowly makes it back to his feet in the corner. TK charges, but Brock moves. TK sees it, and hops to the top rope! Brock comes right at him, shoving his legs out from underneath him and crotching him! Brock then follows him up. COLE Could be a German suplex here, Brock won a fall against Alf Sunday night with this move! CABOOSE And if he hits here, he'll win this fall! Brock takes TK off, but TK manages to land on his feet! TK grabs Brock...and hits him with the THUNDERBOLT DDT~!!!!!11111 COACH OH NO! COLE This has got to be it! Cover... 1... 2... 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO!!!!! Brock gets his foot on the rope!!! COLE And Brock Ausstin too close to the ropes! Tough luck for TK! TK sits on the mat for a few seconds, then slides to the outside and grabs a KENDO STICK! COACH Oh, no, here comes another weapon! TK slides into the ring and waits on Brock to get up, then blasts him over the head with the stick! Cover... 1... 2... Rick Heyross pulls the referee out of the ring! TK walks over to the ropes as Heyross and the referee argue, and hits a PLANCHA on Heyross to a HUGE pop as the referee quickly darts out of the way! CABOOSE I don't think there'll be any further problems with him in this match. TK climbs onto the apron, and delivers a shoulder to the midsection of Brock. TK then springs over the ropes with a sunset flip, but Brock grabs the ropes and kneels down! COLE The ropes! 1... 2... Right before the three, the referee looks up and notices Brock's hands on the ropes...then kicks them off, allowing TK to turn it over! 1... 2... NO!!! Brock kicks out!!!!! TK sets up the THUNDERBOLT DDT~!!!!!11111 once again, but is hit with a superkick from Quentin Benjamin! COLE Oh no! Team Heyross is here! Charlie Moss joins his partner in the ring, as they hit a DOUBLE GOOZLE~!!! Brock then picks up TK, and hits the F-STUNNER-5~!!!!!11111 Brock covers... COLE NOT THIS WAY, DAMN IT! 1... 2... 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! COACH YES!!! Brock retains! *DING DING DING* BUFFER The winner of this contest, and SITLL OAOAST Heartland champion...BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROCK AUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSTINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!! Punishment starts up, then stops again quickly as the former 6-man tag champs continue their assault on TK! COLE And Alf not here tonight to stop this! Moss picks TK up on his shoulders, as Quentin Benjamin goes to the top rope. Suddenly, Reject sprints down the aisle and slides into the ring, grabbing the chair and taking a wild swing as the champ and his buddies bail out, with Brock raising the belt high in the air as he walks off. COLE And thank God for Reject tonight! CABOOSE Well, he said earlier tonight he'd have TK's back no matter what happened, and he's kept true to his word here! Reject helps TK to his feet, and raises his hand as God of Thunder plays. Reject then walks over to a corner with the chair in one hand, and stands on the second rope, pointing at TK in the ring as he raises his arms, and the crowd cheers its approval. Reject then hops down and points at TK again as TK poses in another corner, then gets down... and TURNS AROUND INTO A CHAIRSHOT FROM REJECT!!!!! COLE WAIT A MINUTE!!! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT??? The crowd begins to boo heavily as Reject stares down at the barely conscious TK. COLE Reject looking over his partner here after hitting him with that chair... COACH Well, I guess it's his FORMER partner as of tonight, Cole! CABOOSE Yeah, I guess we know why Reject had TK's back tonight, to drive a knife right into it! Reject allows TK to get to all fours, then picks him up. COACH And he's not done yet! Reject plants TK with the PITCH BLACK~!!!111 He then slowly picks up TK and tosses him over the top rope. COLE I don't understand this at all! What in the HELL has come over Reject here tonight? CABOOSE ...you got me, pal. Reject delivers another chairshot to the head of TK, who is on his knees on the floor! COLE Oh, and TK is cut open now. CABOOSE Wait a minute, what's going on now? Reject is pulling stuff off of the announce table, as Caboose says something to him. Reject yells back at Caboose, pointing the finger, then raising the chair up, implying that it could be his fate. Caboose starts to get angry as Cole moves towards him. COLE Come on, Caboose, don't do it! Reject rolls TK onto the table, then climbs over the table and onto the security wall behind it. The bloodied TK very slowly gets to his feet, and when he does, Reject hops off the security wall and drives him with the EULOGY~!!!!!11111 THROUGH THE ANNOUNCERS' TABLE!!! Reject sits up arrogantly, then slides into the ring and poses on the corner closest to the table, as the crowd REALLY lets him have it. Reject raises his arms, as a cup of beer hits him in the face and he glances over to the vicinity of whoever threw it. He then turns and stares at his bloodied, fallen former partner in the wreckage of the announce table. COLE TK driven through the announcers table by what we thought was his partner, his FRIEND, Reject! And the question I have is WHY, Reject? WHY, DAMN IT??? The camera slowly zooms in on Reject's face, still staring down on TK, as we... *FADE TO BLACK* Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted March 3, 2006 CREDITS: Directed by: KingPK Written by: Zack Malibu King Cucaracha KingPK Tony149 Ed Wood Caulfield Patty O'Green Alfdogg © 2006 OAOAST Entertainment. All right's reserved. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
