HD: KRISTA SEGMENT

[Patty O'Green 0]

Hello

 

A golden wall of pyro encases the entire stage, as three blue spotlights dance across the arena in an uncontrolled manner. Soon the lights join each other at the top of the ramp, as [i]California Dreaming[/i] plays over the speakers. The pyro evaporates as quickly as it appeared, and it's place stands Krista Isadora Duncan, outfitted in faded jeans and a black tank top. She garners a gargantuan pop from the Tennessee fans, possibly because she's the only ten I see. LOL, Patty!

COLE
Krista wasn't at the arena last week for the debate. But it's not like she needed to be, as Alix and Snoop Dogg were amazingly able to handle Wright's shenanigans. But I know Krista has something to say about Christian's opinions on her.

Kris enters the ring, picking up a microphone as she heads to the center. She waits for the chants of the audience to die out before continuing.

KRISTA
Christian Wright, my amigo, my padre, my ami, my friend. Contrary to what the drunken threats of a brutal stabbing and drive by shootings that I left on your answering machine may say, I'd like to call you a companion! And by companion I mean “guy I hope gets mauled to death by a grizzly bear like Timothy Treadwell in the movie [i]Grizzly Man[/i]. The New Kids on the block once posed the question “What's in the middle?” and answered that thought provoking query with “The right stuff.” Today I ask the question of what's in the middle of Wright's stuff, and the answer is soon to be a shiny pink aluminum baseball bat courtesy of one Krista Isadora Duncan! Chris, last week during your little debate in which you got rocked like a hurricane by Alix and Long Beach's answer to Puff the magic dragon, you sir crossed the line. In fact you crossed so many lines that they kept having to lay down new lines for to you cross. But when you stepped over the last line you came face to face with the baddest bitch in the OAOAST. And she is I and I am she and I'd hate to burst your bubble but you're in some serious trouble.

The onlookers loudly cheer her claim.

KRISTA
I was reading the [i]New York Times[/i] and saw that Sharon Stone, a good friend of mine, recently said that she'd give everyone in the Middle East a kiss if they would end all the wars and have peace in the region. Sharon, just like when you starred in [i]Catwoman[/i], you're wasting your time! You need to get down to the FedEx forum post haste to spread your message of peace, because we've got one crazy war in the Honky Tonk between myself and Christian Wright! Christian, you better come with a bazooka strapped to your back and the Hamas flanking your side, because I'll use every weapon my MasterCard can buy and my manicured hands can get a hold of. I'll use a chair, I'll use a chain, I'll use a belt, I'll use barbwire, I'll use my collection of Celine Dion CD's, I'll use tables, I'll use a guitar, I'll use a knife, I'll even use Coach's penis pump! 

COACH
Hey!

KRISTA
Christian, I heard what you had to say about my sweet little daughter during that debate. All I can say in response is that I hope you got on your knees and thanked the deity of your choice that I wasn't in the arena with you then. Because if I had been in Saint Louis last week, you'd still be in traction [i]this[/i] week. You go after my daughter, and you go after my heart. You go after my heart and you go after my life. You go after my life and I take your's. Understand? If you don't, I can take you outside and I can make you understand. I can have you eating more concrete then a landscaping company lays in a year. Whats more is that you thought the whole debate would let you get one up on Alix. Honey, I'd hate it to break it to ya, but there ain't enough Viagra in the world to get anything of your's up. But maybe Coach will lend you his penis pump.

The audience pops for that insult, while Coach scoffs in disgust.

KRISTA
But now only thing that's getting up is my [I]Guess?[/I] pumps through your ass. I'll stick ithem up so far, I'll have your breath smelling like foot locker water repellent. You thought you could pick on the poor girl because you happen to be smarter then her, not realizing that poor girl's got one mean mama backing her up. So the only thing you'll be picking up is your teeth off the floor. See, when you messed with Alix, you thought all you'd need was special guest moderator. But as the old saying goes; “when you mess with Alix, you mess with Krista.” And when you mess with Krista you don't need a special guest moderator, you need a special guest coroner. And to add delicious icing to our sweet cake, you cost me a tag title victory, and you stunnered an innocent woman all in the span of ten seconds. And just like the guy who popularized that move you used, you seem to think it's cool to hit girls. You think beating women is like Alix, a hot thing to do. But I think it's cool to beat you. I think it's the In thing to do. And just like the Mama's and the Papa's I'm in with the in crowd, I go where the in crowd goes. And where the in crowd wants to go is all up and down your sorry ass! In fact I wanna beat you right now, honey bunches of oats. I need to beat you right now! I'm on my hands and knees begging you to come on out so I can beat you! Christian Wright you've accomplished a miracle! For the first time since Regan was in office, I want a man's ass! I've never wanted to whup somebody as much as I do you!

COACH
I'm getting the feeling she should be careful what she wishes for.

KRISTA
Like Professor X hooked into Cerebro I know what you're thinking, Christian. You say “Krista, you devilishly sexy gal, you're thirty four? That must be a lie! You don't look a day over twenty five!” and I say “Thanks. But I'm still gonna beat you down”, and then you say “But you already beat me in October!” That was October, this is March! I wanna beat you tonight. And the next night. And the night after that. I want to beat you until there's nothing left of you but your fat monkey  lips talking about doing something for somebody's own good. You should've done something for your own good and stayed home. You should've called in sick. You should've picked up the phone called Axel and said “Hey Kangaroo Jack, I won't be in the office today. I got smallpox!” “I thought they eradicated that disease, Christian.” “I said I got smallpox, Crocodile Dundee. God damn!” But now you're here and now I gotta hurt you. Everything you said last week about me was true, I'm loud, I'm trashy, I'm vulgar, I'm rude, and while I may be the kind of woman you want to screw, I'm not the  kind of woman you want to screw [i]with[/i]. I know you're probably pretty scared right now, and you just dropped the kids off before you could make it to the pool. So why don't you change your pants, make like this is the [i]Price is Right[/i] and come on down so I can make like Bob Barker to Adam Sandler in [i]Happy Gilmore[/i], and knock your ass o-u-t. The price is wrong bitch.

“KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!”

COLE
Krista calling out Wright! Let's see if we get an answer!

The crowd readies their vocal chords to assault Christian Wright with an ensemble of insults, but confusion quickly replaces their anger, as [i]Back in Black[/i] by AC MOTHER FUCKING DC cuts through the arena air. Instead of Mister Wright's relatively modest six feet and two inches appearing in the frame, we're treated to the intimidating six feet and seven inches of The Upstarts' heavy hitter, [b]Bohemoth[/b]! Outfitted in pleather black trunks with a golden barbwire design, Bo stands atop the entrance way, beating his fist into his beefy chest and emitting a fearsome growl!

COLE
Bohemoth recently found himself in Axel's dog house due to his inability to prevent Krista from making the count that won Zack Malibu his newest heavyweight title. He dug his hole even deeper when his botched rescue attempt let Alix and Big Snoop Dogg take care of Christian Wright. I have no idea what he's doing out here tonight.

Ignoring the jeers that greet his unexpected appearance, a stern faced Bo walks himself up the steel steps and into the ring. As a typically defiant Krista eyes him with skepticism, he requests a microphone, and receives one.

BOHEMOTH
I don't believe we've been formerly introduced. I'm Bohemoth, and you're Krista Isadora Duncan. Charmed and charming. I hear what you're saying about the debate. It was bad incident for all of us. I can see how upset you've gotten over what Christian said. But those are just words and insults. Names can never hurt you. But Bohemoth can. Keep that in the back of your mind.

COLE
Threatening words.

BOHEMOTH
Let's talk action, such as the one Alix and Snoop Dogg took against one of the best wrestlers in this entire company! No, no, wait. Better yet let's talk Zero Hour! Remember that? Remember the final match on that star studded pay per view? I do. I remember it because it haunts me every where I go.  The outcome of that main event invades every thought I have! That one match, that I didn't even wrestle in, is now starting to define who I am. My entire career is being mirrored back by one failure that was out of my control. And that is your fault! It's your's! If you had never bothered  to interfere Christian Wright would still be HI-YAH heavyweight champion! And the Upstarts would hold both the OAOAST world title and the HI-YAH world title. That means we'd be in sole possession of two most important championships in the world.

KRISTA
You said that last sentence with a straight face. Wow. That takes talent. You should win an Emmy. If the 3 6 Mafia can get an Oscar, why can't a guy named Bohemoth get an Emmy?

BOHEMOTH
Let me cut to the point. When your misguided attempt to do a good deed brought you into Christian's match with Zack Malibu, it brought you in contact with me. That should've given you a hint to high tail your ass on back to your Staples Center dressing room ASAP. But instead you stuck around and you laid your hands on The Upstarts heavy hitter. That is the OAOAST's cardinal sin, and because you won't repent, you have to be punished. Nobody lays their hands on Big Bo.

KRISTA
Awww, that's sad. Have you tried taking out a personal ad? Perhaps you could use Adult Friend Finder?

BOHEMOTH
You think that's funny, eh? You can chuckle all you'd like, Jane Fonda. Go ahead and laugh it up. You got jokes? Have your jokes now, because I guarantee you you won't be chuckling when I tell you and I are going to have a match here tonight! 

COLE
Wow!

BOHEMOTH
See, there won't be anything funny when the Meterosexual monster is aiming his guns directly at your pretty face. I'm a big man and your a little girl. It takes longer to cook instant rice then it would take for me to beat you. Heck, I may be in and out in a minute. Two minutes at the most.

KRISTA
Honey, you really shouldn't discuss your sexual inadequacies on television. Oh, you're talking about the match. Silly me.

BOHEMOTH
God damn it! Let me inform you of a harrowing fact, little girl. We're only in March. There are nine solid months remaining in the year 2006....

KRISTA
I see you've finally got this tricky “month and year” concept down. Kudos to you. For your next task, let's see if you can remember to unzip when you stand at the urinal.

BOHEMOTH(cont)
And the year can be very long and very painful if you continue plant yourself on the wrong side of The Upstarts, most specifically myself and Christian. There are limitless tools at our disposal that we can use to humiliate you and degrade you. We can make you wish you never signed the dotted line on your contract. We'll have you regretting the very day you ever heard the acronym OAOAST. Both you and Alix. You may not be too concerned with your own safety, given that you didn't haul ass the minute I told you we're having a match. But I don't think that you'd want adorable Alix to get hurt. You do these instructional fitness videos, am I correct? Consider this contest between us an instructional match. Let it be a lesson learned to not interject yourself into affairs that do not concern you. And after my lesson concludes, and the message really sinks in, you need to pack up your bags, turn in a letter of resignation, go back to California and stick to helping middle aged Oprah fanatics get a slimmer waist line. But I hope the lesson I'm about to teach you is taken to heart. Because if it isn't, when we're done with you, we're coming for Alix.

Seething with rage, Krista goes right across Bohemoth's cheek with a wild slap! The crowd raucously approves of her brash display!

COLE
A referee just slid into the ring, and it looks like we're underway on HeldDOWN! Krista Isadora Duncan against Bohemoth.

The imprint of her hand on his cheek, the fuming beast launches a predatory missile in the form of a lariat at the femme fatale. However Krista sweeps underneath it, and carries herself to the ropes. Upon hitting the cables the elasticity bounces her back towards Bo with a running dropkick! Though the move connects solidly with his meaty pecs, the colossal unit is barley budged an inch. As she stands up and sees Bo standing as firm and unyielding as the staunchest of forts, her dismayed heart descends into her stomach. There's no doubt in anyone's mind that the brassy fighter has finally bitten off more then she can chew. What's worse is that the danger of the situation escalates to alarming levels when the OAOAST's moral high ground [b]Christian Wright[/b] finally makes his belated appearance, sauntering down from backstage. The fans give him an earful of hatred, as he journeys to the announce table. He takes a seat next to Coach, the only one in the arena glad to see him

COLE
Now what? Christian Wright? Wonderful. Just wonderful.

CHRISTIAN
A pleasure to be in your presence as well. Greetings, Johnathan! You look, how do you say...fly?

COACH
Wassup, brah!

Bohemoth volleys a right cross at Kris, and she's instantly on the move to avoid the strike that could break her nose upon impact.  She sidesteps his closed fist, then frantically tries to chink away at his  granite solid armor with side kicks. Unfortunately, she'd have an easier time finding a needle in a haystack then dealing any damage to this mammoth slugger. Bo, feeling more like he's being pecked at by a mosquito then hit by a former tag team champion, places his hand on Krista's face, engulfing it in his grip so that she looks almost headless. He then nonchalantly pie faces the surly diva to the mat! Boos for Bo's effortless display of dominance come fast and furious, as a grimacing Krista clutches onto her face. The cameras weave past her fingers and get a telling shot of her bold agony and the monstrous fingerprints left on her tanned skin.

CABOOSE
Christian, lately Bo hasn't looked very sharp. He seems to be off his game, and I hear rumblings that people in the Upstarts are very upset with his performances lately.

WRIGHT
If you insist on authoring disharmony where none exist, then perhaps my time amongst you heartless hinds would be better spent delivering you each a sound drubbing so that you know not to speculate on that which is above your meager intellect. The Bohemoth you see today is as excellent as the Bohemoth you may have seen many moons ago.

Krissy stands up, sporting an admirable, if not misguided, look of defiance. She waves the big man on, and he accepts her challenge, fully intending on eradicating the troublesome lady. He grabs her arm and hurls her into orange ring ropes. They giftwrap her back to Bo who waits with a clothesline. However Miss California moves much too quick for the lumbering grappler, and is able to leap onto his shoulders with little difficulty! Bo becomes wrought with panic as Krista's smooth legs wrap around his neck, constricting his breathing. His fears prove to be well founded, as she flips the Upstart's enforcer head over heels with a majestic hurricanrana that whips the onlookers into a frenzy!

“KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!”

Bo, groggily begins to rise to his feet, but his ascension is delayed by a swift basement drop kick to the top of his dome! The excellently placed attack rocks his neck back and forth like a bobble head and sends the overwhelmed gladiator bouncing away in pain. Krista, breathing bloody murder, closes the distance between her foe with three lanky steps. Reaching down and taking a fistful of his finely gelled hair, she grins, ready to pull him up for more punishment! But suddenly Bo launches a vile fist upward, landing it in her six-packed stomach! Krissy can't help but emit a chilling scream of terror, that rolls tears down the cheeks off a few of her younger fans around the arena.

COACH
Christian, a couple of announcers out here, I won't name names, may think that you're a bit of a coward for not coming down when Krista first called you out. How do you respond to that?

WRIGHT
I did not answer Krista's call, because I don't come to the whims and calls of homosapien inferior, or as you call them...women. Thus I have sent an underling to do my bidding.

While his nauseous enemy tries her hardest not to throw up the Slim Fast Milkshake she had for lunch, Bo bounds off the ropes, building speed for what should be a massive lariat! But as he draws near his victim she roars back with a spinning wheel kick! The crowd popping move halts the lariat and shoves the boulderous fighter into the ropes! Unwilling to give her formidable foe a nanosecond to rest, Miss California surges forward, praying that she can catch him off balance and knock him out of the ring. But Bo recovers and catches her with a back body drop that could very well throw her from the ring! The audience holds their collective breath, thinking that this mismatch is about to come to a grizzly end for our heroine. But Krista lets them all breathe a long sigh of relief as she expertly lands her Guess? boots onto the ring apron. Unlike the applauding crowd, Bo is less then pleased to see Krista has lived to die another day. Looking like some kind of steroid riddled demon he surges to her with a forearm smash! But Krista blocks this  move, making like Christina Milan and dipping it low to hit him with a shoulder block! Taken by surprise, Bo is left doubled over by her counter. Krista moves quickly, certain her rival is already in the process recovering. She flings herself back into the squared circle, and tries to accomplish the impossible by sucking him down with a sunset flip! 

CABOOSE
I don't know if Bo's going to go down!

Bullets of sweat pop off her worried face as absolutely no progress is made in getting a pin. The crowd starts to sing her name, perhaps willing her the strength to achieve her goal. But the ferocious gargoyle stays erect like a towering Gothic statue. Making matters worse, he soon goes on the offense drilling a callous punch directly to Krissy's lovely face. Not wishing to have her nose be splattered across the ring, Krista slides through Bo's legs, narrowly avoiding his fist!

CHRISTIAN
Oh good heavens. Never send a mere man to do a God's job.

CABOOSE
Are you calling yourself God?

COACH
You speak as if he shouldn't!

Bo is in obvious pain, and this coupled with the fact he lacks any noticeable speed, allows a much faster Krista to seize the moment to attack! She plants a basement dropkick into Bo's wide as the state of Texas ass and crashes him into the ropes.  He lies prone across the second cable throat first. The front row fans openly mock his misfortune, but that will soon be the least of his worries if Krissy has anything to say about that. Grabbing onto the third rope, the blond bombshell slingshots herself out the ring, and extends her leg forward to hit Bo in the back of the neck with a gorgeous leg drop! As the crowd roots on his enemy, Bo rolls back towards the center the ring, the affects of Krista's aerial assault slicing painful gashes into his throat. Meanwhile on the outside, Krista strikes a few poses for the throng of eager fans trying to capture her image on their cameras.

CHRISTIAN
Flaunting herself in the middle of an athletic affair! Never in my life! When The Upstarts assume total control, rest assured the only cheesecake we have around will be for eating.

COACH
Ya got that right! Wait, are we talking about the same the type of cheesecake?

Krissy repositions herself on the ring apron, as the hulking monster finally rises. In an unusual show of horrible judgment, she hurls herself at him with a slingshot a cross body block. This move carries the possibility of hospital trip in Izzy's near future as Bo easily catches her in his arms. A terrible fear litters her face as his strong grip squeezes her body, nearly crushing it to the ashes. Bo kneels down, slamming Krista rib first across his outstretched knee with tremendous velocity! The fans belt an ensemble of boos as Bo fluidly moves from one rib breaker to the next. Upon hearing the gruesome cracking of her bones, Krista issues a horrible shriek in anguish. While it may be a depressing cry to the crowd, it's sweet music to Bo's ears, and it spurs him to twist her body around and slam her down with a shinbreaker! Krissy lands with another terrible crack, and slides off his leg to the mat, not knowing which of her wounded limbs to cradle first. Bo affords her no relief, making it a point to direct vicious stomps to her ribs and right leg.

“LET'S GO KRISTA! LET'S GO KRISTA!”

Bohemoth pulls the recipient of those heartfelt chants upward, then snaps her with a quick arm wrench before shooting her towards the ropes. Even while hobbling like a peg leg, Krista is still faster then anyone Bo's ever encountered. Thus he must work quickly to keep on the offensive. He rushes forward, seeking to rearrange her facial features with a mighty punch! But at the last possible moment, Krista ducks, and Bo's once dangerous attack just gently glides through her golden mane. As the crowd salutes Krista's evasion, both warriors carry themselves to the ropes. The enemies bounce back towards each other in a flash, and in what can only be compared to bullet train hitting a bunny rabbit, Bohemoth presents a big boot that lands with horrifying perfection on Krista's crimson lips. Poor Krista plummets to the mat, in a manner not dissimilar to if she had been thrown out a seventh floor window. Unfortunately Bo's big boot hurts more then that plunge ever could. As Kris lies splayed out on the ground, he sticks a  boot on her heaving chest, and flexes DA GUNZ~! For the ultimate in arrogant cover.

ONE

TWO

But Bohemoth isn't through torturing the smaller athlete. Consequently he steps off her body, killing what should have been a match ending count. Though the crowd isn't eager to see the Upstart win, they aren't excitedly thrilled with the prospects of watching their favorite lady get pounded into oblivion either. Thus they vehemently boo the meterosexual monster. Krista tries to push herself up, only to have the King Kong sized grappler send a booming boot into her ribs! She hollers out into the night as she slowly sinks back to the sweat stained canvas. Now working through the politically incorrect chants of “Bo the homo”, Bohemoth presses his foot onto the back of Krista's head, then swings around, sadistically shifting his immeasurable weight onto her skull. Again Krista comes up with a full throated howl that further heats the audience's impassioned anger.

CABOOSE
What's wrong with you Upstarts? That's a god damn two hundred eighty seven pound animal treating a [i]woman[/i] like that. It makes me sick.

COACH
What a bleeding heart sissy you've become! It's like Simon said, if they want to wrestle men, they'll get their ass kicked like men. Simple as that.

Taking hold of her arm, Bo pulls Krista to a vertical base. He slings her to a far corner with a heavy Irish Whip. Krissy's back endures the brunt of the ghastly impact with the padded steel, and the disheveled starlet immediately collapses to the mat. Legitimately concerned for the woman's welfare, referee Billy Silverman starts to inquire if she's okay. But the well meaning official is promptly shoved aside by the ruthless barbarian, Bohemoth, who slides her underneath the bottom rope, letting her throat hang onto the apron. She stares out at the audience wide eyed, knocked so senseless that she's almost forgetting where she is. After assuring himself that she's properly secured, Bo steps onto that apron, and glowers at a six year old boy in the front row, forcing the frightened tyke to clutch onto his mommy like his life depended on it. Upon finishing his torment of first graders, Bo returns to tormenting women less then half his size, leaping off the apron and trampling his elbow into Krista's skull! Her body convulses on the canvas, while her vision blurs to the point of uselessness. Bo remains outside, flexing his left bicep to elicit jeers from the nettled fans. He simply laughs at the simple minded boneheads, and returns to the squared circle to pin Krista.

ONE 


TWO


TH...Again Krista wards off defeat with a last minute kickout.

CABOOSE
I don't tend to advocate purposely losing a match. But in Krista's case....well, I just don't see the point in continuing to fight. We know you're tough, we know you don't back down, don't risk your health to prove it to us.

Thousands upon thousands of possible offensive maneuvers journey through Bo's mind, but he settles on a simple yet brutally effective one and begins sending boot after boot into Krissy's aching head.  Able to draw some strength from the fans' support, she rolls over to the ropes, and desperately seizes the bottom one for salvation. She slowly forges past Bohemoth's rampaging boots to successfully get to her feet. The referee speedily moves to separate blood thirsty Bohemoth from his weaker rival, in order to give the fitness queen a moment to recover. As she leans against the cables sucking down deep and labored breaths, Bo taps his foot on the mat in impatience, almost frothing at the mouth. His restlessness gets the better of him and eventually he ignores the ref's orders, risking a DQ by charging at Kris with a shoulder block to the ribs! The move connects with deadly exactitude, bringing alarmed gasps from the audience. Krista grimaces in agony, nearly sliced in half by the razor sharp shot. The big man takes advantage of her  vulnerability, and bends her backwards into a standing dragon sleeper. Despite her wounded status, KID immediately takes up the onerous task of fighting against his hold. But she'd have a better chance of escaping from the fangs of a mountain lion, as this predator is unwilling to relinquish his grip. She attempts to pepper him with punches, but these harmless blows only manage to draw a condescending chuckle rather then advance her cause for freedom. Forced into a mode of desperation, Krista delves into her stash of last resort moves, and plants the heel of her shoe into Bo's testicles! Not only does this score quite the pop from the Memphis faithful, but it's horrid affects require Bo to release his hold and tend to his injured unit. 

“LET'S GO KRISTA! LET'S GO KRISTA! LET'S GO KRISTA!”

Her sweat slicked body feeling like it weighs as much as a brick of lead, Kris' lone goal is to end this contest as quickly as humanly possible. Thus she hooks on a frontface lock and takes Bo for a dizzying ride with a tornado DDT! While the move was visually impressive, it doesn't seem to have much effect on the big man. And much to her chagrin and horror, he promptly rises to a vertical base, unfazed by her aerial assault. Stricken with worry, she hurls caution to the wind and dashes at him with a sunset flip! Unlike her previous misadventure with the move she actually pulls him down for a pin this time!

ONE


Bo kicks out with authority, and rises even faster then Krista, despite being the one who's taken the past series of offensive moves. He squashes her short lived flurry of attacks by propelling her to the ropes with an Irish whip. Krista takes a page out of gal-pal Alix's book by springing onto the third rope, and slinging her shapely body back at a standing Bo with a lionsault press. But the ex-HI-YAH heavyweight champion catches her in mid flight with astounding ease. The blond bombshell furiously kicks her legs against Bo's back as if she was a damsel in distress being kidnaped by a Wild West villain. Grunting fiercely, Bo runs to the edge of the squared circle with his enemy slung over his shoulder! Proclamations of “BO SUCKS” pour down from the bleachers as it appears the OAOAST's biggest wrestler is going to violently drop one if it's smallest across the ropes! But the negative vibes the crowd were espousing suddenly turn positive as Krissy slips off Bo's back and lands squarely on her feet! Putting her new found freedom to excellent use, she leaps onto Bo in a piggy back position for a desperation sleeper hold. She cinches her grip around his incredibly thick neck as tight as she possibly can. Yet her presence is nothing more then an annoying inconvenience, and is easily brushed off when he grabs onto the side of her head and heaves her forward off his body! Unfortunately for Krista this pedestrian counter is made a million times worse thanks to her location in the ring. Her body sails over the ropes, as fearful gasps are shared amongst the audience. Unable to properly brace her fall, she smashes into the poorly protected concrete with a cringe worthy head first impact! The audience is beside themselves with panic as she slumps over in a demolished heap in front of the apron!

COLE
Good lord in heaven!

COACH
I think Bo's about to pick up an easy count out victory, fellas.

WRIGHT
Hmmm. I wouldn't be so sure of that, Johnathan.

As bad as Krista's situation looks currently, a far bleaker cloud is cast over it when Wright removes himself from his commentary position. He stalks over to her, regarding her prone body with bitterest gall and contempt. Ignoring Bo's confused and dissenting queries as to what he thinks he's doing, Wright grabs Krista by her tanktop and roughly launches her face first into the steel steps! The stairs become dislodged under the tremendous force of Wright's attack, and she screams from the sudden burst of white hot pain. However seeing his ailing enemy whimpering at his feet fails to satisfy Wright's thirst for carnage. He begins to rain beastly punches to the back of her head, tickled with delight by her heartbreaking cries of distress. The Moral Highground endures a marvelous amount of abuse from the fans, many of whom have to be restrained by an over matched security force. The powerless referee signals for the bell to be rung, affording Krista a DQ victory. But the outcome seems almost trivial when compared to the hell the beloved babyface is about to suffer.

BUFFER
The winner by disqualification, Krista Isadora Duncan!

COLE
Christian just cost Bo the match and what he's doing right now is beyond pale!

“WRIGHT SUCKS! WRIGHT SUCKS!”

Wright stands over Krista's fallen body, merely staring at her as if her quivering frame held all the significance of a mashed fly on a windshield. He takes a fistful of her lush hair and yanks her upright, laughing like a maniac into her anguished face. The volume of his laughter increases by the second as he pulls Kris' head back and smashes it into the tip of the apron. Now sieged by rapid fire abuse from an unhinged audience, Wright pushes her into the ring, and follows her inside, as much to escape the deluge of trash being hurled his way as to continue his torturing. 

CABOOSE
Good god. Now what is he going to do?

Bo,still taken aback about being deprived of a sure victory, passionately asks Wright what he thought he was doing. But Christian, with finality in his voice, informs his lackey that the mission of morality is far more important then his piddly victories. Leaving Bo to pout like a child, Wright reaches down and picks up Krista, knocking her trembling hands away as she favors her head. He sneers out towards the crowd while he sets her into a vertical suplex position. As their anger reaches it's plateau, he twists to the side and falls backwards, forcefully colliding Krista's head with rock solid canvas! Now laboring under a throbbing headache, Krista heroically tries to rise, desperate to fight back and end the unbearable pain that's being administered by her adversaries. But Bo simply stomps on her hair, holding her in her victimized place.

[B]“BOOOOOOOOO”[/B] Goes the crowd while Christian strikes an audacious crucifix pose above Krista's body!

COLE
That son of a bitch just hit Krista with [b]The Converting the Sinner[/b]! Damn him! Hold on! The fans are cheering. Why?

COACH
Maybe they've finally seen C-Dub's vision for the future.

Um, no. Not quite. Wright continues to berate his victim, but unbeknownst to him [b]Alix Spezia[/b], with graphite [i]lacrosse stick[/i] in hand, is zooming into the ring to rescue her friend! A confused Wright turns and is caught off guard by the cold metal of the lacrosse stick hitting his stomach! With the rambunctious fans chanting her on, Alix takes another baseball like swing at the snotty star and connects solidly with his chin, rocking him back to the canvas!

“ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!”

Bo finally does something besides sulk about his lost victory, springing forward to pulverize Alix with a monsterous big boot! This one simple move deflates the crowd's glee like a pin through a balloon, and puts a harsh end to Alix's rescue efforts. Waves of agony scream throughout her body,as her hands shoot up to protect her now tear streaked face. The heartless monster buys his friend moments to recover, by taking the lacrosse stick and pressing it horizontally against Alix's throat! Her violent wails shrink into gagging sobs under the demonic weight of his weapon aided choke hold. The responding laughter from Wright cuts into her psyche painfully. To her right, a despondent Krista can only look on helplessly as she is forced to withstand the repulsive manhandling.

[b]“BOOOOOOO!”[/b]

COLE
Jesus Christ! He's choking her with a good damn lacrosse stick! This is...this is awful! Now what's Christian doing?

Wright collars his hands around a coughing Alix's throat and hoists the battered fan favorite up. Taking a gruff chunk of her hair, he cruelly and slowly rotates her around on the ring, as if he was displaying a hard won trophy to the heated audience. A hot flash of humiliation courses through her bones as she gasps and bucks against his clutches. Wright luxuriates in dragging the weeping woman from one side of the ring to next, showcasing her shivering body as an objectified prize. Ignoring the torrent of crowd rage attacking him from all sides, Wright demands a microphone. He's given one and prepares to address the fans.

WRIGHT (still holding onto Alix's hair)
Salutations, citizens of Memphis!

“YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!”

WRIGHT
I believe the correct response is “Greetings, moral and intellectual superior! How may we serve you, your esteemed highness?” Perhaps you ask yourself how upstanding citizens such my associate and myself can take  these ghoulish actions against mere women. These are not women, these are whores who's lives are worth less then that of your average street walking prostitute! I care not for what happens to their welfare, so as long as what happens is terrible and traumatizing! I make no claim to be an angel, but their behavior and actions go above and beyond the call of a devil! Thus they art punished! However their tears and sorrows, while delighting to this exemplary spirit, do not even begin to pay for a quarter of their sins! 

Her physical and mental exhaustion making it nearly impossible to support herself, Alix begins moaning in terror, overshadowing Wright's speech. Obviously displeased with her pitiful noises, Wright slams the microphone deep into her stomach, sending a sharp bolt of pain arcing through her body. Alix nearly topples over, kept upright only by his iron grip on her hair. Her voice fails her, and she's silenced into heavy terrified breathing.

“BOOOOOO!”

WRIGHT
You profane Memphis degenerates jeer the fruits of my noble toils! You insult me without relent as I traverse the lonely road towards righteous perfection, slaying these tramps as they stand between myself and the OAOAST's salvation! Why? Because you are tangled within the enchanting spell of their beauty! But what if I was to strip them of that exquisiteness? What then? What if I was to pare away the alluring mask they wear, fully exposing their revolting and immoral personalities for all to shriek in horror at and deplore in right minded indignation. What then? No longer would the looks you bend towards them be ones of affection, but rather ones of scorn and derision! (He turns Alix to face him, and stares deeply into her eyes) You look at me, slut! I could  leave you breathless from the horror and disgust of your true grotesqueness! I can rob you of the one thing that defines you, and allows you to debase my society! You can not conceive a hundredth of the anguish I can force you and Krista to bear! You will pray for any relief from the wretchedness I will have caused you! Enough! Enough of these threadbare and trite words. Let us dance to the unmerciful music of saintly ethicality. Let us find out, dear Alix and dear Krista, what will happen when you're no longer beautiful.

CABOOSE
What's this idiot talking about? I think he's done enough and said enough. Get him out of here! 

Christian discards the microphone, and reaches it into his pocket to pull out a pair of scissors! He foists them into the arena sky, as if he was raising a holy sword! Those audience members who are aware of what loathsome action is soon to transpire, boo lustily, and chant for anybody, Leon, Jade, Zack, to come to Alix and Krista's aid. But the rampway remains absent of a savior,as Wright, lips in a diabolic grin, glides his sheers towards Alix's dazzling brown hair. Through the unstoppable crying and feeling of powerless depression, Alix tries to reason with him. She meekly implores him not to hurt Krista, to at least let her go. But he just stares back down at her, implacable, offering no dissent, showing zero inclination to give her any room for negotiation. He ignores her weeping pleas and rudely tells her to hold still, unless she wants to risk his scissors “slipping” and cutting her fair skin.

COLE
He's going to cut their hair! Son of a bitch!

The mood of the audience improves ten fold and they explode with cheers when they spot the [b]Sk8er Boiz[/b], holding steel chairs, rushing down the ramp to fight off the nefarious tag team! As teenage girls across America shriek with pleasure at their appearance, [i]Teen People[/i]'s Sexiest tag team hits the ring, swinging chairs like lunatics! Bo and Christian are totally overwhelmed by the crazed assault of Marvin and Melvin!

COLE
The Boiz are back in town! Hot dog!

Being the smarter one of the duo, Wright has the good sense to bail, as his pair of scissors aren't much of a defense against chair swinging Canucks. However Bo stands obstinate, daring the twins to hit him with everything they've got. The Boiz are more then happy to oblige that unwise request and wallop the big man across the face with two beautiful shots! The thundering attacks daze the once defiant superstar, opening a gash above his left eye! They also clumsily tumble him through the second and third ropes and out of the ring, much to the fans' joy! Marvin leans over the ropes, ordering Bo to come back and fight. But Christian gets between his irate second, forcing them both to make a hasty retreat up the ramp. Marvin's onyx eyes follow them, shooting daggers at the escaping couple, while his brother attends to the girls.

COACH
What the heck are those morons doing here? Who do they think they are? They live an easy existence! All they have to do is skate, surf, pose for pictures, workout, tan, and wrestle twice a month. But now they want to play knight in shining armor and make things difficult around here. My ass!

COLE
Marvin and Melvin attribute their recent success to Krista's fitness videos, and they look at her like a mother figure. So put two and two together, Coach! And thank god for Marvin and Melvin! Good job, twins! Coach, I don't know how you of all people can condone what Christian and Bo tried to do.

COACH
It ain't easy. But the twenty five percent raise I just got makes it a whole lot easier! Heheeheh.

Edited March 10, 2006 by Patty O'Green