KingPK 0 Report post Posted March 10, 2006 *EARLIER TODAY* Outside the arena, the threesome of John "Rock Hard" Brickston, Spanish Fly and Colombian Heat are stood in a huddle and apparantly waiting on something or, perhaps, someone. With the Latino Thug Street Fight later in the night, Brickston is wearing some worn jeans and a simple black wifebeater, Spanish Fly in one of his new Spanish Fly t-shirts (shill!) and faded jeans (and his mask, naturally), while Heat is pimpin' it up with baggy combat pants and his personalised soccer jersey, as well as tons of bling. Yeah, I said bling. I'm street, yo. As they stand waiting in what is probably the cold (I'm not really close enough to guess what the weather's like in the US, see) the dulset tones of James Blunt begin to play through the parking lot. The three collectively turn up their noses as a car of some sort (I'm not good on cars either, see) pulls up in front of them. A few seconds later, once it parks up, the sunroof opens and LEON RODEZ! pops his head through the roof. RODEZ You're beautiful, it's truuueee! What's up guys! Rodez ducks back through the roof and thankfully switches the radio off, while Heat asks Fly exactly "what's dat cracker's problem, dawg?" Exiting the car, Rodez jigs around to the boot and grabs his bags, while the threesome in front of him continue to wait. RODEZ Man, that's a tune. So what are you guys doing out here? FLY Waiting for you, man. We wanna talk over the Latino Thug Street Fight tonight, because we figured you wouldn't really know what the deal was. RODEZ You'd be completely correct. But, I came prepared anyway. Reaching into his pocket, Rodez grabs a pack of toothpicks, opening it up and sticking one in the corner of his mouth. RODEZ Orralay, holmes! HEAT Yo, da's offensive to mah culture! RODEZ So...I should leave the sombrero in the trunk, right? All three nod in unison. RODEZ Alright, no stereotypical Latino stuff. Probably wasn't best advised now that I think about it. So, what is the deal with this Latino Thug thing then? FLY Well, it's an ordinary street fight really. But there's a couple of little rules...you know, minor stuff. Like you wearing what you enter the arena in to the ring. And also, you've gotta bri...woah, where you going? Rushing back over to his car, Rodez hurriedly throws his bag up and onto the car and quickly starts to pull out his ring gear. HEAT Whatchu doin', sucka? RODEZ Well, apparantely I'm putting my gear on! All three look confused. RODEZ Technically, we're not in the arena yet. We have to wear out to the ring the clothes we come to the arena in...so if I get changed out here, then I can wear my gear to the ring. Comprendé? Rodez pulls his shirt off and throws it haphazardly to the floor. HEAT Brah, it's a street fight. You supposed ta be wearin' street clothes, dat's the point! RODEZ Street clothes, schmeet clothes my Colombian friend. I worked hard for these thighs, they're not being hidden under jeans no matter how designer or expensive they may be. I'm not a Latino Thug. I'm a wrestler with a well toned body that I like to oil up and show off to people. Now, if that makes me an egotistical narcissistic sports pimp, then I guess I'm just an egotistical narcissistic sports pimp. FLY So what, you're gonna get changed out here in the middle of the parking lot? RODEZ ...good point. Grabbing his keys, Rodez opens up the backdoor of the car, throwing in his bag and pulling down his pants as he crawls onto the backseat. Brickston begins to survey the night sky while Fly and Heat look down at their feet. RODEZ (from inside the car) Man. *GRUNT* Now I know why most wrestlers...*GRUNT*...wear their gear everywhere they go. Rodez continues to struggle with his clothing, while the trio outside the car try to find new and interesting places to look. Walking past, Charles Robinson and Brian Hebner take an interest in the rocking car and grunting, joining Heat, Brickston and Fly in what they assume is the jolly-good pastime of dogging. Or, so I'm told. Eventually, after much grunting and groaning, Rodez emerges from the car in his wrestling gear (sans elbowpads, which he now starts putting on). Robinson and Hebner dejectedly leave, as Rodez holds his arms to the side. RODEZ Feels like I'm missing something... HEAT Look man, you best gets serio... RODEZ ROBE! *slaps forehead* Man, how stupid would I have looked walking in the door without my robe, huh guys? Pretty darned stupid, that's how. Rummaging back through the trunk, Rodez unfurls a lavish purple robe, matching his ring gear. RODEZ Okay, so what's the other rules? FLY Well, you have to bring your own weapon to the ring with you. RODEZ Weapon? Right...weapons, weapons... Going back through the trunk, Rodez searches through his VAST storage space for something to inflict some Latino Thuggery with. RODEZ Okay, tyre iron...a little drastic. *CLANG!* Windscreen wiper fluid...I think not. *SPLASH!* Toolbox...too heavy. *CLUNK!* Bundle of lighttubes...convenient, but I think one epic-Deathmatch per career is enough for me. License 2 Pin, 2004. Don't hate. *CRAAASH!* Skimpy underwear, NOT mine, I swear...best give them back to Alix methinks. *THONG!* HEAT Brah, chill, we's gonna find somethin' inside. Seriously, whatchu gonna do wit' all that junk in yo' trunk? RODEZ I'ma get get get get you drunk, get you drunk off of my humps? HEAT ... RODEZ (dancing) My hump my hump, my hump my hump my humps, my lovely lady lumps? BRICKSTON *She got me spendiiiiin'...* RODEZ See, he gets it! And you to think, you two call yourself street? Fly and Heat look at each other in despair before walking off into the arena. Brickston shrugs and follows on, while Rodez watches on with arms folded. RODEZ Where's the love, ya'll? (FADE OUT) Your humble producer was able to tear himself away from God of War long enough to bring you another edition of the OAOAST's flagship text-based wrestling program, HeldDOWN~! This week, we continue on the road to AngleMania V with a stop at the FedEx Forum in Memphis, Tennessee. Into the arena we go as we sweep over the capacity crowd and over to Sofa Central where your hosts for the evening are ready to go. COLE We are getting closer and closer to AngleMania and the OAOAST makes a stop in one of the great wrestling cities: Memphis, Tennessee for another edition of HeldDOWN. Michael Cole here along with Caboose and The Coach, and we have a huge main event for you tonight. Two time former OAOAST Champion Hoff, who five months ago vacated his title and left the company, returns to action in a street fight against Tony Brannigan. CABOOSE I know it's a cliche, but Tony will truly make Hoff wish he never set foot back in the OAOAST once this night's over with. COACH Oh pull the bitter bus over already. It's a new year, 'Boose. Time to forgive and forget. CABOOSE I don't forgive quitters. COLE Also tonight, we will find out who Peter Knight will defend his OAOAST World Championship against next week, right here on HeldDOWN. COACH I must admit, I'm not sure where Axel's going with this, but if it helps PK prepare for Alfdogg, I'm all for it. COLE Speaking of the #1 contender, he is also in the building and we should get words from him tonight, as well as an explanation from Reject, who brutally attacked his friend Thunderkid at the close of last week's show. COACH I'm sure he had a legitimate reason. I did when I cracked Caboose with his own cricket bat, didn't I? CABOOSE I haven't forgotten about that. Inside the FedEx Forum, a chorus of boos ring in the air as the SOUTH CENTRAL MILITIA head to the ring along with Jim Cornette and Shyanne. BUFFER The following contest live on HeldDOWN~! is set for one fall. Currently making their way to the ring, accompanied by the foxiest honey in South Central Los Angeles, Shyanne, and James E. Cornette...from South Central L.A., weighing 535 pounds, here are Marcellus and Vincent, the South Central Militia! COLE You gotta admire the Heavenly Rockers for taking on this match weeks before AngleMania, but even I have question if they've biten off more than they can chew. Logan is far from 100%, and we all know why Cornette wanted this match in the first place. Marcellus and Vincent are his hired guns. Anything short of the Heavenly Rockers leaving in an ambulance will be considered a failure. COACH And let's not forget about the Handsome Hustler's big surprise later tonight. Ned is not one to disappoint. Whatever it is, it's gonna be off the charts. CABOOSE If it's anything like "Weekend at Neddy's," I hope the fans at home have their DVRs and VCRs ready. COACH If the police were less Beverly Hills Cops and more L.A.P.D., that tape never would have aired. That was breaking and entering. But as they say, what goes around comes around. And it came around on Krista and Alix. BUFFER And their opponents...hailing from Sin City, the greatest rock 'n' wrestling band of all-time, the HEAVENLYYYY RRRRRRROOOOOOOOOCKERRRRRSSSSS! With Nirvana's "Heart-Shaped Box" blaring in the backfround, the 2006 Anderson Cup champions emerge on the stage, running past each other to the edge of the rampway, pointing to their screaming fans as the strobe lights go crazy all over the home of the NBA's Memphis Grizzles. Feeding off the adreanline, Synth and Logan sprint to the ring, up the steel steps and slingshot inside the square circle. As the Heavenly Rockers pose on the turnbuckles, they're blindsided by the SCM! COLE I knew it! The South Central Militia aren't here to win, but rather soften up the Heavenly Rockers for the New New Midnight Express, who will do battle with Synth and Logan for the tag team titlse at AngleMania V. I sure hope money makes them happy, because they damn sure aren't going to get any title shots without winning some matches. * DING DING DING * The bell sounds, but the action is already underway as the SCM choke the Heavenly Rockers with their own leather jackets! The SCM continue their onslaught, disposing of Synth over the top rope, leaving them all alone with Logan Mann. Jim Cornette can hardly contain his excitement as Marcellus and Vincent overwhelm the young superstar with clubbering shots to the back, dropping him to the canvas. Logan can only cover up as he's kicked in the ribs and stomp on the back of his neck. Referee Charles Robinson is shoved to the mat as he tries to get the SCM to let up, the fear of disqualification not at all a concern to the SCM or Jim Cornette, who BLASTS Synth across the back with the racket! The SCM whip Mann to the ropes, trying to take his head off with a vicious double clothesline. Marcellus and Vincent put the boots back to Logan, almost as if they're trying to leave an imprint of their feet on his chest. COACH If the match continues the way it's going, the Heavenly Rockers aren't going to make it to AngleMania! CABOOSE Here comes Synth. * BOOM * Big right hand levels Vincent Santana, but the SCM regain the advantage as Marcelles comes to his partner's defense. They send the Synthmeister off for a double clothesline, but Synth rolls through the locked hands of the SCM and knocks them off their feet with a springboard double back elbow! Marcellus and Vincent are reunited with a DOUBLE KNOGGIN'-KNOCKER! And Logan returns to the field of -- or is it mat of? -- play, sending Moe reeling with one of his wicked left hands. With the Moe and Vinny trapped in opposite corners, the Heavenly Rockers climb onto the second turnbuckle and begin playing a tune on the heads of the SCM with their fists! 1... 2... 3... 4... 5... 6... 7... 8... 9... 10! COLE Fan interaction at its finest. Rattled, the SCM hold onto the top rope to keep themselves upright. The Heavenly Rockers glance over their shoulders to relay a message to each other from afar, and that message is to whip the SCM into each other...but Santana reverses Mann's Irish whip, sending him into the arms of Marcellus, who hotshots Mann on the top turnbuckle, snapping Logan's head back violently! To his credit, Mann has the presence of mind to roll outside, but Jim Cornette's frantic calls to the SCM to attack gives Mann little time to regroup. Synth tries to prevent Moe from going out after Logan, hooking him for a back suplex, but it's the SCM who hit a back suplex as Vincent comes over for the double-team. With Synth left lying in the ring, the SCM turn their attention to Mann outside. They stalk their prey, slowly cornering Logan before pouncing on him like a bunch of wild savages. The SCM lift up the protective mats ringside and set Logan for a spike piledriver, with Marcellus going up on the apron to deliver the spiking. COLE Oh, no! We've seen this before. CABOOSE The World tag team champions used a spike piledriver on the concrete floor to injury Logan prior to Zero Hour. It looks like the SCM want to finish what the champs started. COLE (shouting) Not this! Not this! The crowd gasp in horror as Vincent prepares to take Mann up for the piledriver, but roar in unison as Synth wipes out Santana with a SUICIDE DIVE! Marcellus jumps off the apron...and into a left hand to the midsection by Mann on the way down. Logan gets up firing hard kicks to the ribs, giving Marcellus a taste of his own medicine. The Synthmeister joins his boy in the ring for some old school double-teaming. The Heavenly Rockers cue up an Irish whip, then press play for a back bodydrop. They nail Santana getting up on the apron with a double dropkick, then Mann jerks Marcellus' head back with a running kneelift, which Synth follows up with a swinging neckbreaker! Synth rushes to the corner and pulls himself up on the second turnbuckle, leaping off and connecting with a patented FLYING ELBOW! ONE... TWO... KICKOUT! Marcellus sent face-first into the turnbuckle. The Heavenly Rockers with a tag, and right into an arm wringer by Logan. Logan wrings and wrings the arm until Moe is brought to his knees. He looks up to the sky, not begging the big man upstairs for forgiveness, but grimacing in pain from the transition into an armbar. A series of quick tags and double-axehandles off the top onto the arm later, Logan re-applies the armbar, keeping Wallace isolated in their side of the ring. Cornette jumps on the apron to distract referee Charles Robinson, allowing Santana to sneak in and level Mann with a clothesline. James E. turns model citizen after the damage has been done, telling Charles it was wrong for him to jump on the apron. COACH What a man is James E. It's great to still see there's some honest people left in the world. COLE Honest and Jim Cornette go together like oil and water. They just don't mix. Moe drags Logan over to the SCM corner by the hair and rams him into the knee of Vincent. Moe spits in Synth's face, drawing him inside the ring to turn the referee's attention elsewhere as he and Vincent pumpel Mann in the corner. Even Cornette gets in on the act, jabbing the racket into the ribcage of Mann. Now the legal man, Vincent brings Logan out of the corner and levels him with the point of the elbow to the back of the neck, then delivers a legdrop across the neck for good measure. ONE... TWO... THR-- Vincent picks Logan off the mat! COLE Now why the hell did he do that?! COACH The SCM aren't ready to put Logan away. They wanna punish him just a little bit more. CABOOSE They want to cripple him, that's what you mean. COACH Nah, they just wanna hurt him. But I'm sure they'd take crippling him, too. Either one works just fine. Vincent nods his head, a twinkle in his eye as Jim Cornette makes a spiking motion, signaling for a piledriver. Santana positions Mann in a standing headscissors, but spends too much time taunting the crowd and Synth, easily allowing Mann to counter with a backdrop. Logan slowly gets up to his feet and lunges towards his corner, only to have Vincent grab ahold of his foot and bring him down. Santana with wild shots to the neck, before bringing Mann up and hitting a hangman's neckbreaker! ONE... TWO... THR-- NO! Again, a member of the SCM picks Logan off the mat. Charles Robinson warns the SCM and Jim Cornette one more such act will result in a DQ, to which Marcellus responds with a middle finger and a tag. "Time to end this shit," says Moe as he lifts Logan up and spikes head-first into the canvas with a brainbuster. But that obviously isn't what he meant by saying it's time to end it, as he tags Vincent back in and whips Logan to the ropes. Marcellus hits the near side as Vincent runs off the far, and hit their spear/flying forearm double-team maneuver...on nothing but air, as Synth beats the SCM to the glass and brings the rebound down...in the Heavenly Rockers corner! Synth tags himself in, and goes right to work. He levels Santana with a right, as well as Marcellus. Scoope and a slam. Another scoope and a slam. The Synthmeister knocks the SCM off their feet with a pair of dropkicks. Jim Cornette climbs up onto the apron...and eats a right hand to the roar of the crowd! Synth shoves Vincent into the corner and climbs onto the middle turnbuckle, his right hand cocked as he stares at the fans inside the jammed packed FedEx Forum. 1... 2... 3... 4... 5... Synth leaps back and catches Marcellus charging in with a cross bodyblock! He hammers the South Central native with closed fists, but gets stomped in the head from behind. The SCM work Synth over before shooting him to the ropes for their Jailbreak finisher, a maneuver that didn't connect earlier. And it won't now, as Logan SPEARS Moe to the outside while Synth reverses Santana's flying forearm into a POWERSLAM! The Synthmeister bounces up to his feet, the fans cheering wildly as he signals for Percussion. Shyanne quickly steps onto the apron to distract Charles Robinson, while Jim Cornette carefully sneaks behind Synth with the tennis racket ready to unload. * BOO... NO! * Synth catches Cornette in the act, kicking him in the gut, sending the racket flying into the hands of Vincent Santana, as Synth is prime to hit Corny with Percussion. COLE Behind you, Synth! Behind you! "YEEEEAAAAAHHHHHH!" As Santana is ready to hit Synth with the racket, from the crowd appear LOS DIABLOS DE FEUGO! "HOMIES!" "HOMIES!" "HOMIES!" Mariachi pulls Shyanne off the apron as Moracca throws a handful of PINK GLITTER into the eyes of Vincent, blinding him long enough for Synth to roll him up for the... ONE... TWO... THREE! "YEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!" * DING DING DING * BUFFER Here are your winners... THE HEAVENLY RRRROOOOOOOOOCKERRRRRRSSSSS! "Heart-Shaped Box" playing in the background, the Heavenly Rockers celebrate with an exuberant Los Diablos, who point to the SCM and company in the ring, giggling and acting like little school girls. The SCM point back, making snapping gestures, saying they're gonna break some bones now. COLE With the assist of Los Diablos de Feugo, the Heavenly Rockers have pulled off the win. All right! COACH How can you say that's all right? They cheated! CABOOSE What goes around comes around, right? Vincent was going to hit Synth with the racket, but Los Diablos got to them first. COACH Whatever. COLE There's still plently of action still to come. Stay with us or you'll be HeldDOWN~! Commercial break Backstage, Leon Rodez is walking. And if that wasn't entertaining enough, he's going somewhere! As he strolls down a hallway, Rodez happens to pass a catering table and picks up a coffee pot, rattling around before deciding it wouldn't really do much more than make a good sound (thank you Tony Schiavone), so dejectedly puts it down and walks on to the main catering area. Everyone who is everyone is present. The Love Doctors are also in attendance. RODEZ Hey, guys, I need to find a weapon for my Latino Thug Street Fight tonight. Any ideas? SAVAGE You could use my scepter...OOOOOHH YYEEEEEAAAAHHHHHHH!! RODEZ Uh, wasn't that 13 years ago? SAVAGE I'm livin' in the past man. Beats the present. OOOHHHHH YYEEEAAAAAHHHHH!! RODEZ O-kay. Anyone else with an idea? Anyone? ... RODEZ I was thinking something more amusing. Maybe something which is an ironic, self-refferential comment on the sport of professional wrestling's goonier moments. ROBINSON Oh. Have you looked in there? Robinson points behind Rodez, to a door which conveniently has a sign on it... --*PROP CUPBOARD*-- Re-Using Your Gimmicks Since 1985 Shrugging his shoulders, Rodez opens up the door, to find a proverbial Tutenka...Tooten...Tute...a treasure chest. Eyes lighting up, Rodez scans through the mass of items eagerly. The Big Bossman's nightstick. HHH's Sledgehammer. The Goon's Hockey Stick. The Mountie's Cattle Prod. One of Jim Cornette's spare tennis rackets. About 16 guitars. The Bararian's antlers. The Genius' scroll. Steve Blackman's Bag O' Weapons. THE URN~! IRS's briefcase. A can of Arrogance. A slop bucket, presumably full. Mr Fuji's cane. A wide collection of flags. Jimmy Hart's Megaphone. Johnny B.Badd's Badd Blaster. A Slammy. Shelley Cam. 619 Cam. Head. Mideon's eyeball in a jar. Tables. Ladders. Chairs. Those weird police barriers that break in half that always come with ToyBiz figures for some reason. The Berzerker's sword, shield and furry boots of doom! And of course, the Disqo Duck (Duq?) Rodez is like a kid in a candy store, proverbially of course, hence the 'like' after 'is'. Looking through the contents of the cupboard, Rodez umms and aahs for some drama, before smiling and picking out an unseen object. RODEZ Perfect. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted March 10, 2006 Renegade by Jay-Z & Eminem hits and the lights go out. The crowd boos heavily as Reject's entrance video plays on the Jumbotron. The baseline kicks in, and a single white spotlight shines on the entranceway, where Reject walks out to HUGE boos. COLE And here comes Reject, who's got a LOT of explaining to do after viciously attacking his partner, Thunderkid, last week! COACH You already said that in the opening, Cole. And I told you, he had a perfectly good reason for it. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, from New York City, weighing in at 235 pounds...RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREJECT!!!!! The spotlight follows Reject down the aisle, and he slides into the ring and poses in the corners, as Sweet Home Chicago hits and Jumbo walks through the curtains, high-fiving the fans as he walks down the aisle. BUFFER His opponent, from Chicago, Illinois, weighing in at 440 pounds...JUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Jumbo struts down the apron as Reject waits patiently in his corner, then as Jumbo climbs into the ring, Reject kicks the middle rope, causing Jumbo to be crotched! *DING DING DING* COLE And a cheap shot right off the bat! COACH I've never seen Reject as aggressive as he's been lately! Jumbo struggles to his feet, and Reject twists him around by the arm and drops him with the EULOGY~!!!!!11111 COLE And the EULOGY already, as Jumbo never recovered from the low blow... Reject lays back on Jumbo... 1... 2... 3!!! *DING DING DING* COACH And it's over, just like that! What a devastating move! BUFFER Here is your winner...RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREJECT!!!!! Renegade plays, as Reject walks over and grabs the mic. REJECT Cut the music. The crowd boos as Reject lays a couple more kicks into Jumbo. REJECT Get those guys out here with the pushbrooms and get this fat piece of garbage out of here! Jumbo rolls out and makes his way to the back, as Reject makes his way to the middle of the ring. REJECT I suppose you people want an explanation, right? *crowd boos* REJECT Well, you know, last year, I was all ready to make my big comeback to the OAOAST, when I get a call from Thunderkid, saying, 'you know, I've been planning a comeback myself! Wouldn't it be so cool if we made our big comeback together in Louisville'? Well, while making it in Louisville was a lot cooler than doing anything in Nashville... *crowd boos* REJECT ...for whatever reason, I accepted his offer. I tolerated his attempts to ride on my coattails. And I listened to everyone's claims that he was the strength in the team. And in that Chamber of Hell match at AngleSlam, I could have beaten Alf and won that title by myself, but no, I got eliminated because of YOUR mistake, TK! *crowd boos* And what happened? The so-called "strength" of the team went down. And if that wasn't enough, a couple months later, when Brock and his boys were beating us down, Alf himself runs out to make the save. And I kept TELLING you, TK, I kept TELLING you, 'we don't need Alf anymore, we can make it, we can survive on our own'! But no, you wouldn't listen, would you? And we were stuck tagging along with Alf, which leads us up to now...Alf's got a World title shot, and what do we have, TK? NOTHING! Alf USED us to get himself ahead, just like I told you he would. *crowd boos* Oh yeah, you did get something, that's right. You got a shot at the Heartland title last week, one which I told you beforehand I'd have your back, and I did. Did Alf have your back? No, he didn't, because he was worrying about himself, and resting his boo-boos. *crowd boos* That's why I did what I did, TK. I was tired of having to bail you out of these jams, I was tired of having to drag you on my coattails, and I'm tired of you, and Alf, blowing my big breaks. But it's not gonna happen anymore, because from now on, it's all about ME. Renegade plays as Reject throws the mic down and leaves the ring. COACH See? Reject didn't want to carry around dead weight any more. Sounds logical to me. COLE Coach, you are truly.....what's that? I’m getting word that something’s happening in the back, can we get a camera on that? The perspecitive changes to a shaky cam as the cameraman is presumably running down the hall to check this out, He comes up on Otaku II, Ayane Mitsui, and Brock Ausstin. Brock is holding Ayane in a manner most threatening. Otaku: You let her go, or there will be trouble, you roided up gorilla! Brock shoots him a smirk to show that he finds Otaku to not be a threat in the slightest. Ayane tries to elbow him in the stomach, but Brock doesn’t seem affected at all. He turns his ugly smirk to her. Brock: Very bad idea, girly. I’m the OAOAST Heartland Champion, do you think a little elbow like that will do anything? Brock puts her in a Thai clinch and wallops her with a knee to the stomach, knocking the breath out of her, then pulls up her head to his and gives her a greedy, sloppy kiss before throwing her to the ground. Otaku catches her and gives Brock about the nastiest look you can imagine as Brock laughs a hearty, villainous laugh and backs away. (Back to SC) CABOOSE Beating up a guy's girlfriend. Yeah, he's a guy I want to see as a champion around here. COACH I'm sure Brock had a...... CABOOSE Oh shut up already. Again, we cut to the backstage area, this time to Axel's office. The GM is looking over some papers when the door opens and OAOAST Champion Peter Knight enters the office. Axel looks up from his paperwork. AXEL Good, you're here. KNIGHT Yeah, let's just skip the preliminaries and cut to the chase. Who am I facing next week? AXEL Here's the contract. Axel passes over a piece of paper and Knight scans it, a confused look crosses his face as he looks at the name again. KNIGHT Him? I thought he was last in line for a title shot because of his *ahem* association with a certain someone. AXEL Yeah, well when I was looking over the list of possible challengers, I wanted to find guys that I knew would give you a good fight and he put up a good one the first time he got a shot so.....I decided to temporarily overlook that. KNIGHT Are you really sure about putting the title on the line? I mean, we could do this non-title and it still would be a good match. AXEL No. With the title on the line and with it a spot in the AngleMania main event on the line, your opponent won't let up. Look, you are the toughest and meanest guy in the OAOAST and that's why you've got that title belt over your shoulder. These matches are so you can go into AngleMania in the best shape both physically and mentally as possible. Trust me, I have a good feeling that you will still be champion after these matches. Axel gives Knight a slight wink and a small smirk crosses Knight's face. KNIGHT All right, give me a pen. Axel hands Knight a pen and he scribbles his name on the line before handing the contract back to Axel. AXEL All right then. Since there's a camera in here already, I can make this official. Next week, right here on HeldDOWN, it will be Peter Knight defending his OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship.....against the OAOAST 24/7 Champion, Tha Puerto Rican. Knight leaves the office and we go back to SC. COLE Whoa! What an announcement. CABOOSE MAH BOY is getting a title shot? I can't wait for next week! COLE You just snap right into PR Fanboy mode at the drop of a hat, don't you, 'Boose? CABOOSE You know it. COLE Back with more in a bit. A montage of Colombian Heat clips play as “Gasolina (Remix)” by Daddy Yankee featuring Lil’ Jon and Pitbull plays in the background. We see Colombian Heat giving wrestlers the Colombian Necktie, the Broncobuster, the Shake, Rattle, & Roll, and the Shaky Leg Kneedrop. Cut to a clip of Colombian Heat doing his SHIMMY~!. Cut to a clip of Colombian Heat posing in the rain with his white hoodie on looking all menacing and thug-like. We see a clip of his pyro exploding leaving behind fire that burns on the entrance stage. Cut to Colombian Heat standing in the old school WWF lockerroom from the early 90s. You know the one. That one. Anyway, Colombian Heat is wearing his regular wrestling gear with his brand new Colombian Heat yellow soccer jersey over his orange T-shirt and yellow basketball jersey. COLOMBIAN HEAT Yo, what’s up, this is your boy Colombian Heat herre, tellin’ you bout mah brand new Colombian Heat soccer jersey. Cut to Colombian Heat holding his new jersey. It’s a yellow soccer jersey with red stripes, that has COLOMBIAN HEAT written on the front in red. On the back, COLOMBIA is written on top in red, with a 1 underneath it written in red. “Gasolina (Remix)” continues playing. HEAT (CONT’D) It’s a one-of-a-kind shirt, real nice and shit. Oops. I don’t think I’s suppose to say dat word. Cut to Colombian Heat looking at the camera. HEAT Show your love for moi by buying this shirt. Trust me, by wearin’ dis shirt, youse gonna get all the fly honeys. You know what I’m sayin’? Ha! Ha! All the hos are gonna come to you. It’s true, yo. Belee dat! The camera does a close-up of the new Colombian Heat yellow soccer jersey. We then cut to another screen, where the Colombian Heat yellow soccer jersey is on the right side of the screen, and the rest of the screen is filled with information on how to order the shirt. This is read by the voiceover guy really fast. VOICEOVER GUY Order the brand new Colombian Heat soccer jersey, just $49.95 plus shipping and handling! To order, call 1-800-555-HEAT. That’s 1-800-555-4328. Or visit OAOASTShopzone.com to order now! Cut to another montage of Colombian Heat clips. COLOMBIAN HEAT (V.O.) Buy tha shirt, and let all tha haters know dat youse support tha most illingest, most dope, the most fly One And Only AngleSault Thread superstar today! Now can you feel the Heat Cut to Colombian Heat in the lockerroom. HEAT up in this BI-AAAAAAAATCH~! Colombian Heat looks at the camera and laughs. He smiles at the camera as “Gasolina (Remix)” by Daddy Yankee featuring Lil’ Jon and Pitbull, and the commercial, ends. Commercial break Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted March 10, 2006 A golden wall of pyro encases the entire stage, as three blue spotlights dance across the arena in an uncontrolled manner. Soon the lights join each other at the top of the ramp, as California Dreaming plays over the speakers. The pyro evaporates as quickly as it appeared, and it's place stands Krista Isadora Duncan, outfitted in faded jeans and a black tank top. She garners a gargantuan pop from the Tennessee fans, possibly because she's the only ten I see. LOL, Patty! COLE Krista wasn't at the arena last week for the debate. But it's not like she needed to be, as Alix and Snoop Dogg were amazingly able to handle Wright's shenanigans. But I know Krista has something to say about Christian's opinions on her. Kris enters the ring, picking up a microphone as she heads to the center. She waits for the chants of the audience to die out before continuing. KRISTA Christian Wright, my amigo, my padre, my ami, my friend. Contrary to what the drunken threats of a brutal stabbing and drive by shootings that I left on your answering machine may say, I'd like to call you a companion! And by companion I mean “guy I hope gets mauled to death by a grizzly bear like Timothy Treadwell in the movie Grizzly Man. The New Kids on the block once posed the question “What's in the middle?” and answered that thought provoking query with “The right stuff.” Today I ask the question of what's in the middle of Wright's stuff, and the answer is soon to be a shiny pink aluminum baseball bat courtesy of one Krista Isadora Duncan! Chris, last week during your little debate in which you got rocked like a hurricane by Alix and Long Beach's answer to Puff the magic dragon, you sir crossed the line. In fact you crossed so many lines that they kept having to lay down new lines for to you cross. But when you stepped over the last line you came face to face with the baddest bitch in the OAOAST. And she is I and I am she and I'd hate to burst your bubble but you're in some serious trouble. The onlookers loudly cheer her claim. KRISTA I was reading the New York Times and saw that Sharon Stone, a good friend of mine, recently said that she'd give everyone in the Middle East a kiss if they would end all the wars and have peace in the region. Sharon, just like when you starred in Catwoman, you're wasting your time! You need to get down to the FedEx forum post haste to spread your message of peace, because we've got one crazy war in the Honky Tonk between myself and Christian Wright! Christian, you better come with a bazooka strapped to your back and the Hamas flanking your side, because I'll use every weapon my MasterCard can buy and my manicured hands can get a hold of. I'll use a chair, I'll use a chain, I'll use a belt, I'll use barbwire, I'll use my collection of Celine Dion CD's, I'll use tables, I'll use a guitar, I'll use a knife, I'll even use Coach's penis pump! COACH Hey! KRISTA Christian, I heard what you had to say about my sweet little daughter during that debate. All I can say in response is that I hope you got on your knees and thanked the deity of your choice that I wasn't in the arena with you then. Because if I had been in Saint Louis last week, you'd still be in traction this week. You go after my daughter, and you go after my heart. You go after my heart and you go after my life. You go after my life and I take your's. Understand? If you don't, I can take you outside and I can make you understand. I can have you eating more concrete then a landscaping company lays in a year. Whats more is that you thought the whole debate would let you get one up on Alix. Honey, I'd hate it to break it to ya, but there ain't enough Viagra in the world to get anything of your's up. But maybe Coach will lend you his penis pump. The audience pops for that insult, while Coach scoffs in disgust. KRISTA But now only thing that's getting up is my Guess? pumps through your ass. I'll stick ithem up so far, I'll have your breath smelling like foot locker water repellent. You thought you could pick on the poor girl because you happen to be smarter then her, not realizing that poor girl's got one mean mama backing her up. So the only thing you'll be picking up is your teeth off the floor. See, when you messed with Alix, you thought all you'd need was special guest moderator. But as the old saying goes; “when you mess with Alix, you mess with Krista.” And when you mess with Krista you don't need a special guest moderator, you need a special guest coroner. And to add delicious icing to our sweet cake, you cost me a tag title victory, and you stunnered an innocent woman all in the span of ten seconds. And just like the guy who popularized that move you used, you seem to think it's cool to hit girls. You think beating women is like Alix, a hot thing to do. But I think it's cool to beat you. I think it's the In thing to do. And just like the Mama's and the Papa's I'm in with the in crowd, I go where the in crowd goes. And where the in crowd wants to go is all up and down your sorry ass! In fact I wanna beat you right now, honey bunches of oats. I need to beat you right now! I'm on my hands and knees begging you to come on out so I can beat you! Christian Wright you've accomplished a miracle! For the first time since Regan was in office, I want a man's ass! I've never wanted to whup somebody as much as I do you! COACH I'm getting the feeling she should be careful what she wishes for. KRISTA Like Professor X hooked into Cerebro I know what you're thinking, Christian. You say “Krista, you devilishly sexy gal, you're thirty four? That must be a lie! You don't look a day over twenty five!” and I say “Thanks. But I'm still gonna beat you down”, and then you say “But you already beat me in October!” That was October, this is March! I wanna beat you tonight. And the next night. And the night after that. I want to beat you until there's nothing left of you but your fat monkey lips talking about doing something for somebody's own good. You should've done something for your own good and stayed home. You should've called in sick. You should've picked up the phone called Axel and said “Hey Kangaroo Jack, I won't be in the office today. I got smallpox!” “I thought they eradicated that disease, Christian.” “I said I got smallpox, Crocodile Dundee. God damn!” But now you're here and now I gotta hurt you. Everything you said last week about me was true, I'm loud, I'm trashy, I'm vulgar, I'm rude, and while I may be the kind of woman you want to screw, I'm not the kind of woman you want to screw with. I know you're probably pretty scared right now, and you just dropped the kids off before you could make it to the pool. So why don't you change your pants, make like this is the Price is Right and come on down so I can make like Bob Barker to Adam Sandler in Happy Gilmore, and knock your ass o-u-t. The price is wrong bitch. “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” COLE Krista calling out Wright! Let's see if we get an answer! The crowd readies their vocal chords to assault Christian Wright with an ensemble of insults, but confusion quickly replaces their anger, as Back in Black by AC MOTHER FUCKING DC cuts through the arena air. Instead of Mister Wright's relatively modest six feet and two inches appearing in the frame, we're treated to the intimidating six feet and seven inches of The Upstarts' heavy hitter, Bohemoth! Outfitted in pleather black trunks with a golden barbwire design, Bo stands atop the entrance way, beating his fist into his beefy chest and emitting a fearsome growl! COLE Bohemoth recently found himself in Axel's dog house due to his inability to prevent Krista from making the count that won Zack Malibu his newest heavyweight title. He dug his hole even deeper when his botched rescue attempt let Alix and Big Snoop Dogg take care of Christian Wright. I have no idea what he's doing out here tonight. Ignoring the jeers that greet his unexpected appearance, a stern faced Bo walks himself up the steel steps and into the ring. As a typically defiant Krista eyes him with skepticism, he requests a microphone, and receives one. BOHEMOTH I don't believe we've been formerly introduced. I'm Bohemoth, and you're Krista Isadora Duncan. Charmed and charming. I hear what you're saying about the debate. It was bad incident for all of us. I can see how upset you've gotten over what Christian said. But those are just words and insults. Names can never hurt you. But Bohemoth can. Keep that in the back of your mind. COLE Threatening words. BOHEMOTH Let's talk action, such as the one Alix and Snoop Dogg took against one of the best wrestlers in this entire company! No, no, wait. Better yet let's talk Zero Hour! Remember that? Remember the final match on that star studded pay per view? I do. I remember it because it haunts me every where I go. The outcome of that main event invades every thought I have! That one match, that I didn't even wrestle in, is now starting to define who I am. My entire career is being mirrored back by one failure that was out of my control. And that is your fault! It's your's! If you had never bothered to interfere Christian Wright would still be HI-YAH heavyweight champion! And the Upstarts would hold both the OAOAST world title and the HI-YAH world title. That means we'd be in sole possession of two most important championships in the world. KRISTA You said that last sentence with a straight face. Wow. That takes talent. You should win an Emmy. If the 3 6 Mafia can get an Oscar, why can't a guy named Bohemoth get an Emmy? BOHEMOTH Let me cut to the point. When your misguided attempt to do a good deed brought you into Christian's match with Zack Malibu, it brought you in contact with me. That should've given you a hint to high tail your ass on back to your Staples Center dressing room ASAP. But instead you stuck around and you laid your hands on The Upstarts heavy hitter. That is the OAOAST's cardinal sin, and because you won't repent, you have to be punished. Nobody lays their hands on Big Bo. KRISTA Awww, that's sad. Have you tried taking out a personal ad? Perhaps you could use Adult Friend Finder? BOHEMOTH You think that's funny, eh? You can chuckle all you'd like, Jane Fonda. Go ahead and laugh it up. You got jokes? Have your jokes now, because I guarantee you you won't be chuckling when I tell you and I are going to have a match here tonight! COLE Wow! BOHEMOTH See, there won't be anything funny when the Meterosexual monster is aiming his guns directly at your pretty face. I'm a big man and your a little girl. It takes longer to cook instant rice then it would take for me to beat you. Heck, I may be in and out in a minute. Two minutes at the most. KRISTA Honey, you really shouldn't discuss your sexual inadequacies on television. Oh, you're talking about the match. Silly me. BOHEMOTH God damn it! Let me inform you of a harrowing fact, little girl. We're only in March. There are nine solid months remaining in the year 2006.... KRISTA I see you've finally got this tricky “month and year” concept down. Kudos to you. For your next task, let's see if you can remember to unzip when you stand at the urinal. BOHEMOTH(cont) And the year can be very long and very painful if you continue plant yourself on the wrong side of The Upstarts, most specifically myself and Christian. There are limitless tools at our disposal that we can use to humiliate you and degrade you. We can make you wish you never signed the dotted line on your contract. We'll have you regretting the very day you ever heard the acronym OAOAST. Both you and Alix. You may not be too concerned with your own safety, given that you didn't haul ass the minute I told you we're having a match. But I don't think that you'd want adorable Alix to get hurt. You do these instructional fitness videos, am I correct? Consider this contest between us an instructional match. Let it be a lesson learned to not interject yourself into affairs that do not concern you. And after my lesson concludes, and the message really sinks in, you need to pack up your bags, turn in a letter of resignation, go back to California and stick to helping middle aged Oprah fanatics get a slimmer waist line. But I hope the lesson I'm about to teach you is taken to heart. Because if it isn't, when we're done with you, we're coming for Alix. Seething with rage, Krista goes right across Bohemoth's cheek with a wild slap! The crowd raucously approves of her brash display! COLE A referee just slid into the ring, and it looks like we're underway on HeldDOWN! Krista Isadora Duncan against Bohemoth. The imprint of her hand on his cheek, the fuming beast launches a predatory missile in the form of a lariat at the femme fatale. However Krista sweeps underneath it, and carries herself to the ropes. Upon hitting the cables the elasticity bounces her back towards Bo with a running dropkick! Though the move connects solidly with his meaty pecs, the colossal unit is barley budged an inch. As she stands up and sees Bo standing as firm and unyielding as the staunchest of forts, her dismayed heart descends into her stomach. There's no doubt in anyone's mind that the brassy fighter has finally bitten off more then she can chew. What's worse is that the danger of the situation escalates to alarming levels when the OAOAST's moral high ground Christian Wright finally makes his belated appearance, sauntering down from backstage. The fans give him an earful of hatred, as he journeys to the announce table. He takes a seat next to Coach, the only one in the arena glad to see him COLE Now what? Christian Wright? Wonderful. Just wonderful. CHRISTIAN A pleasure to be in your presence as well. Greetings, Johnathan! You look, how do you say...fly? COACH Wassup, brah! Bohemoth volleys a right cross at Kris, and she's instantly on the move to avoid the strike that could break her nose upon impact. She sidesteps his closed fist, then frantically tries to chink away at his granite solid armor with side kicks. Unfortunately, she'd have an easier time finding a needle in a haystack then dealing any damage to this mammoth slugger. Bo, feeling more like he's being pecked at by a mosquito then hit by a former tag team champion, places his hand on Krista's face, engulfing it in his grip so that she looks almost headless. He then nonchalantly pie faces the surly diva to the mat! Boos for Bo's effortless display of dominance come fast and furious, as a grimacing Krista clutches onto her face. The cameras weave past her fingers and get a telling shot of her bold agony and the monstrous fingerprints left on her tanned skin. CABOOSE Christian, lately Bo hasn't looked very sharp. He seems to be off his game, and I hear rumblings that people in the Upstarts are very upset with his performances lately. WRIGHT If you insist on authoring disharmony where none exist, then perhaps my time amongst you heartless hinds would be better spent delivering you each a sound drubbing so that you know not to speculate on that which is above your meager intellect. The Bohemoth you see today is as excellent as the Bohemoth you may have seen many moons ago. Krissy stands up, sporting an admirable, if not misguided, look of defiance. She waves the big man on, and he accepts her challenge, fully intending on eradicating the troublesome lady. He grabs her arm and hurls her into orange ring ropes. They giftwrap her back to Bo who waits with a clothesline. However Miss California moves much too quick for the lumbering grappler, and is able to leap onto his shoulders with little difficulty! Bo becomes wrought with panic as Krista's smooth legs wrap around his neck, constricting his breathing. His fears prove to be well founded, as she flips the Upstart's enforcer head over heels with a majestic hurricanrana that whips the onlookers into a frenzy! “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” Bo, groggily begins to rise to his feet, but his ascension is delayed by a swift basement drop kick to the top of his dome! The excellently placed attack rocks his neck back and forth like a bobble head and sends the overwhelmed gladiator bouncing away in pain. Krista, breathing bloody murder, closes the distance between her foe with three lanky steps. Reaching down and taking a fistful of his finely gelled hair, she grins, ready to pull him up for more punishment! But suddenly Bo launches a vile fist upward, landing it in her six-packed stomach! Krissy can't help but emit a chilling scream of terror, that rolls tears down the cheeks off a few of her younger fans around the arena. COACH Christian, a couple of announcers out here, I won't name names, may think that you're a bit of a coward for not coming down when Krista first called you out. How do you respond to that? WRIGHT I did not answer Krista's call, because I don't come to the whims and calls of homosapien inferior, or as you call them...women. Thus I have sent an underling to do my bidding. While his nauseous enemy tries her hardest not to throw up the Slim Fast Milkshake she had for lunch, Bo bounds off the ropes, building speed for what should be a massive lariat! But as he draws near his victim she roars back with a spinning wheel kick! The crowd popping move halts the lariat and shoves the boulderous fighter into the ropes! Unwilling to give her formidable foe a nanosecond to rest, Miss California surges forward, praying that she can catch him off balance and knock him out of the ring. But Bo recovers and catches her with a back body drop that could very well throw her from the ring! The audience holds their collective breath, thinking that this mismatch is about to come to a grizzly end for our heroine. But Krista lets them all breathe a long sigh of relief as she expertly lands her Guess? boots onto the ring apron. Unlike the applauding crowd, Bo is less then pleased to see Krista has lived to die another day. Looking like some kind of steroid riddled demon he surges to her with a forearm smash! But Krista blocks this move, making like Christina Milan and dipping it low to hit him with a shoulder block! Taken by surprise, Bo is left doubled over by her counter. Krista moves quickly, certain her rival is already in the process recovering. She flings herself back into the squared circle, and tries to accomplish the impossible by sucking him down with a sunset flip! CABOOSE I don't know if Bo's going to go down! Bullets of sweat pop off her worried face as absolutely no progress is made in getting a pin. The crowd starts to sing her name, perhaps willing her the strength to achieve her goal. But the ferocious gargoyle stays erect like a towering Gothic statue. Making matters worse, he soon goes on the offense drilling a callous punch directly to Krissy's lovely face. Not wishing to have her nose be splattered across the ring, Krista slides through Bo's legs, narrowly avoiding his fist! CHRISTIAN Oh good heavens. Never send a mere man to do a God's job. CABOOSE Are you calling yourself God? COACH You speak as if he shouldn't! Bo is in obvious pain, and this coupled with the fact he lacks any noticeable speed, allows a much faster Krista to seize the moment to attack! She plants a basement dropkick into Bo's wide as the state of Texas ass and crashes him into the ropes. He lies prone across the second cable throat first. The front row fans openly mock his misfortune, but that will soon be the least of his worries if Krissy has anything to say about that. Grabbing onto the third rope, the blond bombshell slingshots herself out the ring, and extends her leg forward to hit Bo in the back of the neck with a gorgeous leg drop! As the crowd roots on his enemy, Bo rolls back towards the center the ring, the affects of Krista's aerial assault slicing painful gashes into his throat. Meanwhile on the outside, Krista strikes a few poses for the throng of eager fans trying to capture her image on their cameras. CHRISTIAN Flaunting herself in the middle of an athletic affair! Never in my life! When The Upstarts assume total control, rest assured the only cheesecake we have around will be for eating. COACH Ya got that right! Wait, are we talking about the same the type of cheesecake? Krissy repositions herself on the ring apron, as the hulking monster finally rises. In an unusual show of horrible judgment, she hurls herself at him with a slingshot a cross body block. This move carries the possibility of hospital trip in Izzy's near future as Bo easily catches her in his arms. A terrible fear litters her face as his strong grip squeezes her body, nearly crushing it to the ashes. Bo kneels down, slamming Krista rib first across his outstretched knee with tremendous velocity! The fans belt an ensemble of boos as Bo fluidly moves from one rib breaker to the next. Upon hearing the gruesome cracking of her bones, Krista issues a horrible shriek in anguish. While it may be a depressing cry to the crowd, it's sweet music to Bo's ears, and it spurs him to twist her body around and slam her down with a shinbreaker! Krissy lands with another terrible crack, and slides off his leg to the mat, not knowing which of her wounded limbs to cradle first. Bo affords her no relief, making it a point to direct vicious stomps to her ribs and right leg. “LET'S GO KRISTA! LET'S GO KRISTA!” Bohemoth pulls the recipient of those heartfelt chants upward, then snaps her with a quick arm wrench before shooting her towards the ropes. Even while hobbling like a peg leg, Krista is still faster then anyone Bo's ever encountered. Thus he must work quickly to keep on the offensive. He rushes forward, seeking to rearrange her facial features with a mighty punch! But at the last possible moment, Krista ducks, and Bo's once dangerous attack just gently glides through her golden mane. As the crowd salutes Krista's evasion, both warriors carry themselves to the ropes. The enemies bounce back towards each other in a flash, and in what can only be compared to bullet train hitting a bunny rabbit, Bohemoth presents a big boot that lands with horrifying perfection on Krista's crimson lips. Poor Krista plummets to the mat, in a manner not dissimilar to if she had been thrown out a seventh floor window. Unfortunately Bo's big boot hurts more then that plunge ever could. As Kris lies splayed out on the ground, he sticks a boot on her heaving chest, and flexes DA GUNZ~! For the ultimate in arrogant cover. ONE TWO But Bohemoth isn't through torturing the smaller athlete. Consequently he steps off her body, killing what should have been a match ending count. Though the crowd isn't eager to see the Upstart win, they aren't excitedly thrilled with the prospects of watching their favorite lady get pounded into oblivion either. Thus they vehemently boo the meterosexual monster. Krista tries to push herself up, only to have the King Kong sized grappler send a booming boot into her ribs! She hollers out into the night as she slowly sinks back to the sweat stained canvas. Now working through the politically incorrect chants of “Bo the homo”, Bohemoth presses his foot onto the back of Krista's head, then swings around, sadistically shifting his immeasurable weight onto her skull. Again Krista comes up with a full throated howl that further heats the audience's impassioned anger. CABOOSE What's wrong with you Upstarts? That's a god damn two hundred eighty seven pound animal treating a woman like that. It makes me sick. COACH What a bleeding heart sissy you've become! It's like Simon said, if they want to wrestle men, they'll get their ass kicked like men. Simple as that. Taking hold of her arm, Bo pulls Krista to a vertical base. He slings her to a far corner with a heavy Irish Whip. Krissy's back endures the brunt of the ghastly impact with the padded steel, and the disheveled starlet immediately collapses to the mat. Legitimately concerned for the woman's welfare, referee Billy Silverman starts to inquire if she's okay. But the well meaning official is promptly shoved aside by the ruthless barbarian, Bohemoth, who slides her underneath the bottom rope, letting her throat hang onto the apron. She stares out at the audience wide eyed, knocked so senseless that she's almost forgetting where she is. After assuring himself that she's properly secured, Bo steps onto that apron, and glowers at a six year old boy in the front row, forcing the frightened tyke to clutch onto his mommy like his life depended on it. Upon finishing his torment of first graders, Bo returns to tormenting women less then half his size, leaping off the apron and trampling his elbow into Krista's skull! Her body convulses on the canvas, while her vision blurs to the point of uselessness. Bo remains outside, flexing his left bicep to elicit jeers from the nettled fans. He simply laughs at the simple minded boneheads, and returns to the squared circle to pin Krista. ONE TWO TH...Again Krista wards off defeat with a last minute kickout. CABOOSE I don't tend to advocate purposely losing a match. But in Krista's case....well, I just don't see the point in continuing to fight. We know you're tough, we know you don't back down, don't risk your health to prove it to us. Thousands upon thousands of possible offensive maneuvers journey through Bo's mind, but he settles on a simple yet brutally effective one and begins sending boot after boot into Krissy's aching head. Able to draw some strength from the fans' support, she rolls over to the ropes, and desperately seizes the bottom one for salvation. She slowly forges past Bohemoth's rampaging boots to successfully get to her feet. The referee speedily moves to separate blood thirsty Bohemoth from his weaker rival, in order to give the fitness queen a moment to recover. As she leans against the cables sucking down deep and labored breaths, Bo taps his foot on the mat in impatience, almost frothing at the mouth. His restlessness gets the better of him and eventually he ignores the ref's orders, risking a DQ by charging at Kris with a shoulder block to the ribs! The move connects with deadly exactitude, bringing alarmed gasps from the audience. Krista grimaces in agony, nearly sliced in half by the razor sharp shot. The big man takes advantage of her vulnerability, and bends her backwards into a standing dragon sleeper. Despite her wounded status, KID immediately takes up the onerous task of fighting against his hold. But she'd have a better chance of escaping from the fangs of a mountain lion, as this predator is unwilling to relinquish his grip. She attempts to pepper him with punches, but these harmless blows only manage to draw a condescending chuckle rather then advance her cause for freedom. Forced into a mode of desperation, Krista delves into her stash of last resort moves, and plants the heel of her shoe into Bo's testicles! Not only does this score quite the pop from the Memphis faithful, but it's horrid affects require Bo to release his hold and tend to his injured unit. “LET'S GO KRISTA! LET'S GO KRISTA! LET'S GO KRISTA!” Her sweat slicked body feeling like it weighs as much as a brick of lead, Kris' lone goal is to end this contest as quickly as humanly possible. Thus she hooks on a frontface lock and takes Bo for a dizzying ride with a tornado DDT! While the move was visually impressive, it doesn't seem to have much effect on the big man. And much to her chagrin and horror, he promptly rises to a vertical base, unfazed by her aerial assault. Stricken with worry, she hurls caution to the wind and dashes at him with a sunset flip! Unlike her previous misadventure with the move she actually pulls him down for a pin this time! ONE Bo kicks out with authority, and rises even faster then Krista, despite being the one who's taken the past series of offensive moves. He squashes her short lived flurry of attacks by propelling her to the ropes with an Irish whip. Krista takes a page out of gal-pal Alix's book by springing onto the third rope, and slinging her shapely body back at a standing Bo with a lionsault press. But the ex-HI-YAH heavyweight champion catches her in mid flight with astounding ease. The blond bombshell furiously kicks her legs against Bo's back as if she was a damsel in distress being kidnaped by a Wild West villain. Grunting fiercely, Bo runs to the edge of the squared circle with his enemy slung over his shoulder! Proclamations of “BO SUCKS” pour down from the bleachers as it appears the OAOAST's biggest wrestler is going to violently drop one if it's smallest across the ropes! But the negative vibes the crowd were espousing suddenly turn positive as Krissy slips off Bo's back and lands squarely on her feet! Putting her new found freedom to excellent use, she leaps onto Bo in a piggy back position for a desperation sleeper hold. She cinches her grip around his incredibly thick neck as tight as she possibly can. Yet her presence is nothing more then an annoying inconvenience, and is easily brushed off when he grabs onto the side of her head and heaves her forward off his body! Unfortunately for Krista this pedestrian counter is made a million times worse thanks to her location in the ring. Her body sails over the ropes, as fearful gasps are shared amongst the audience. Unable to properly brace her fall, she smashes into the poorly protected concrete with a cringe worthy head first impact! The audience is beside themselves with panic as she slumps over in a demolished heap in front of the apron! COLE Good lord in heaven! COACH I think Bo's about to pick up an easy count out victory, fellas. WRIGHT Hmmm. I wouldn't be so sure of that, Johnathan. As bad as Krista's situation looks currently, a far bleaker cloud is cast over it when Wright removes himself from his commentary position. He stalks over to her, regarding her prone body with bitterest gall and contempt. Ignoring Bo's confused and dissenting queries as to what he thinks he's doing, Wright grabs Krista by her tanktop and roughly launches her face first into the steel steps! The stairs become dislodged under the tremendous force of Wright's attack, and she screams from the sudden burst of white hot pain. However seeing his ailing enemy whimpering at his feet fails to satisfy Wright's thirst for carnage. He begins to rain beastly punches to the back of her head, tickled with delight by her heartbreaking cries of distress. The Moral Highground endures a marvelous amount of abuse from the fans, many of whom have to be restrained by an over matched security force. The powerless referee signals for the bell to be rung, affording Krista a DQ victory. But the outcome seems almost trivial when compared to the hell the beloved babyface is about to suffer. BUFFER The winner by disqualification, Krista Isadora Duncan! COLE Christian just cost Bo the match and what he's doing right now is beyond pale! “WRIGHT SUCKS! WRIGHT SUCKS!” Wright stands over Krista's fallen body, merely staring at her as if her quivering frame held all the significance of a mashed fly on a windshield. He takes a fistful of her lush hair and yanks her upright, laughing like a maniac into her anguished face. The volume of his laughter increases by the second as he pulls Kris' head back and smashes it into the tip of the apron. Now sieged by rapid fire abuse from an unhinged audience, Wright pushes her into the ring, and follows her inside, as much to escape the deluge of trash being hurled his way as to continue his torturing. CABOOSE Good god. Now what is he going to do? Bo,still taken aback about being deprived of a sure victory, passionately asks Wright what he thought he was doing. But Christian, with finality in his voice, informs his lackey that the mission of morality is far more important then his piddly victories. Leaving Bo to pout like a child, Wright reaches down and picks up Krista, knocking her trembling hands away as she favors her head. He sneers out towards the crowd while he sets her into a vertical suplex position. As their anger reaches it's plateau, he twists to the side and falls backwards, forcefully colliding Krista's head with rock solid canvas! Now laboring under a throbbing headache, Krista heroically tries to rise, desperate to fight back and end the unbearable pain that's being administered by her adversaries. But Bo simply stomps on her hair, holding her in her victimized place. “BOOOOOOOOO” Goes the crowd while Christian strikes an audacious crucifix pose above Krista's body! COLE That son of a bitch just hit Krista with The Converting the Sinner! Damn him! Hold on! The fans are cheering. Why? COACH Maybe they've finally seen C-Dub's vision for the future. Um, no. Not quite. Wright continues to berate his victim, but unbeknownst to him Alix Spezia, with graphite lacrosse stick in hand, is zooming into the ring to rescue her friend! A confused Wright turns and is caught off guard by the cold metal of the lacrosse stick hitting his stomach! With the rambunctious fans chanting her on, Alix takes another baseball like swing at the snotty star and connects solidly with his chin, rocking him back to the canvas! “ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!” Bo finally does something besides sulk about his lost victory, springing forward to pulverize Alix with a monsterous big boot! This one simple move deflates the crowd's glee like a pin through a balloon, and puts a harsh end to Alix's rescue efforts. Waves of agony scream throughout her body,as her hands shoot up to protect her now tear streaked face. The heartless monster buys his friend moments to recover, by taking the lacrosse stick and pressing it horizontally against Alix's throat! Her violent wails shrink into gagging sobs under the demonic weight of his weapon aided choke hold. The responding laughter from Wright cuts into her psyche painfully. To her right, a despondent Krista can only look on helplessly as she is forced to withstand the repulsive manhandling. “BOOOOOOO!” COLE Jesus Christ! He's choking her with a good damn lacrosse stick! This is...this is awful! Now what's Christian doing? Wright collars his hands around a coughing Alix's throat and hoists the battered fan favorite up. Taking a gruff chunk of her hair, he cruelly and slowly rotates her around on the ring, as if he was displaying a hard won trophy to the heated audience. A hot flash of humiliation courses through her bones as she gasps and bucks against his clutches. Wright luxuriates in dragging the weeping woman from one side of the ring to next, showcasing her shivering body as an objectified prize. Ignoring the torrent of crowd rage attacking him from all sides, Wright demands a microphone. He's given one and prepares to address the fans. WRIGHT (still holding onto Alix's hair) Salutations, citizens of Memphis! “YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!” WRIGHT I believe the correct response is “Greetings, moral and intellectual superior! How may we serve you, your esteemed highness?” Perhaps you ask yourself how upstanding citizens such my associate and myself can take these ghoulish actions against mere women. These are not women, these are whores who's lives are worth less then that of your average street walking prostitute! I care not for what happens to their welfare, so as long as what happens is terrible and traumatizing! I make no claim to be an angel, but their behavior and actions go above and beyond the call of a devil! Thus they art punished! However their tears and sorrows, while delighting to this exemplary spirit, do not even begin to pay for a quarter of their sins! Her physical and mental exhaustion making it nearly impossible to support herself, Alix begins moaning in terror, overshadowing Wright's speech. Obviously displeased with her pitiful noises, Wright slams the microphone deep into her stomach, sending a sharp bolt of pain arcing through her body. Alix nearly topples over, kept upright only by his iron grip on her hair. Her voice fails her, and she's silenced into heavy terrified breathing. “BOOOOOO!” WRIGHT You profane Memphis degenerates jeer the fruits of my noble toils! You insult me without relent as I traverse the lonely road towards righteous perfection, slaying these tramps as they stand between myself and the OAOAST's salvation! Why? Because you are tangled within the enchanting spell of their beauty! But what if I was to strip them of that exquisiteness? What then? What if I was to pare away the alluring mask they wear, fully exposing their revolting and immoral personalities for all to shriek in horror at and deplore in right minded indignation. What then? No longer would the looks you bend towards them be ones of affection, but rather ones of scorn and derision! (He turns Alix to face him, and stares deeply into her eyes) You look at me, slut! I could leave you breathless from the horror and disgust of your true grotesqueness! I can rob you of the one thing that defines you, and allows you to debase my society! You can not conceive a hundredth of the anguish I can force you and Krista to bear! You will pray for any relief from the wretchedness I will have caused you! Enough! Enough of these threadbare and trite words. Let us dance to the unmerciful music of saintly ethicality. Let us find out, dear Alix and dear Krista, what will happen when you're no longer beautiful. CABOOSE What's this idiot talking about? I think he's done enough and said enough. Get him out of here! Christian discards the microphone, and reaches it into his pocket to pull out a pair of scissors! He foists them into the arena sky, as if he was raising a holy sword! Those audience members who are aware of what loathsome action is soon to transpire, boo lustily, and chant for anybody, Leon, Jade, Zack, to come to Alix and Krista's aid. But the rampway remains absent of a savior,as Wright, lips in a diabolic grin, glides his sheers towards Alix's dazzling brown hair. Through the unstoppable crying and feeling of powerless depression, Alix tries to reason with him. She meekly implores him not to hurt Krista, to at least let her go. But he just stares back down at her, implacable, offering no dissent, showing zero inclination to give her any room for negotiation. He ignores her weeping pleas and rudely tells her to hold still, unless she wants to risk his scissors “slipping” and cutting her fair skin. COLE He's going to cut their hair! Son of a bitch! The mood of the audience improves ten fold and they explode with cheers when they spot the Sk8er Boiz, holding steel chairs, rushing down the ramp to fight off the nefarious tag team! As teenage girls across America shriek with pleasure at their appearance, Teen People's Sexiest tag team hits the ring, swinging chairs like lunatics! Bo and Christian are totally overwhelmed by the crazed assault of Marvin and Melvin! COLE The Boiz are back in town! Hot dog! Being the smarter one of the duo, Wright has the good sense to bail, as his pair of scissors aren't much of a defense against chair swinging Canucks. However Bo stands obstinate, daring the twins to hit him with everything they've got. The Boiz are more then happy to oblige that unwise request and wallop the big man across the face with two beautiful shots! The thundering attacks daze the once defiant superstar, opening a gash above his left eye! They also clumsily tumble him through the second and third ropes and out of the ring, much to the fans' joy! Marvin leans over the ropes, ordering Bo to come back and fight. But Christian gets between his irate second, forcing them both to make a hasty retreat up the ramp. Marvin's onyx eyes follow them, shooting daggers at the escaping couple, while his brother attends to the girls. COACH What the heck are those morons doing here? Who do they think they are? They live an easy existence! All they have to do is skate, surf, pose for pictures, workout, tan, and wrestle twice a month. But now they want to play knight in shining armor and make things difficult around here. My ass! COLE Marvin and Melvin attribute their recent success to Krista's fitness videos, and they look at her like a mother figure. So put two and two together, Coach! And thank god for Marvin and Melvin! Good job, twins! Coach, I don't know how you of all people can condone what Christian and Bo tried to do. COACH It ain't easy. But the twenty five percent raise I just got makes it a whole lot easier! Heheeheh. Commercial break Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted March 10, 2006 *KA-CHING~!* *Come and take your Vitamin X.* “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” “Bling-Bling” by The B.G. featuring The Big Tymers and Hot Boys starts playing, causing the crowd to boo loudly. The entrance doors slide open, and Vitamin X comes out, doing the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle, and carrying a shirt of some kind. X has a cocky smirk on his face. He looks to the entrance for some reason. The entrance doors slide open again, and Vitamin X’s partner in Brains & Brawn, Cuban Wall, comes out to more loud boos. He is also carrying a shirt of some kind. Vitamin X high fives Wall, and Brains & Brawn begin walking down the entrance ramp. Dollar signs are superimposed over the entrance ramp as they walk to the ring, with Vitamin X bobbing his head to the beat of “Bling-Bling”. Cuban Wall shadowboxes. MICHAEL BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome CUBAN WALL and VITAMINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN EXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX! COLE Vitamin X and Cuban Wall, Brains & Brawn, are coming out here, but they’re not out here for a match. COACH They’re coming out here because they NEED to come out here. Vitamin X is a ratings draw. Everytime he appears on OAOAST TV, ratings go up. COLE That’s funny. I would think ratings would go DOWN because he annoys people. COACH That’s just propaganda spread by the OAOAST suits. Its B.S. Trust me. Brains & Brawn jaw with some of the fans at ringside. COLE Vitamin X and Cuban Wall will be involved in the Latino Thug Street Fight later tonight as they team up with the rest of The Lightning Crew to take on Leon Rodez and his team of former LC members. CABOOSE I can’t wait for that match, Michael. Just like at Zero Hour, The Lightning Crew will once again destroy those scrubs who were LUCKY to be apart of The Lightning Crew, and Leon Rodez. COLE Well Zero Hour was two weeks ago. Tonight is tonight. And tonight you may see a different result. CABOOSE HA! Yeah right. Vitamin X hops onto a second turnbuckle. He crosses his arms in an X. The crowd boos. VX sneers at the crowd. He then hops off the second turnbuckle into the ring. Cuban Wall enters the ring by climbing over the top rope. VX does some insanely bad dancing to his entrance song, while Cuban Wall just shakes his head. Wall tells X to join him in doing The Lightning Crew Salute. Brains & Brawn stand near the ropes, look at the crowd, and then do The Lightning Crew Salute to boos. COACH You think Vitamin X and Cuban Wall saw The Lightning Crew Parody last week? COLE I’m sure they did. So did PRL. I bet he tore every piece of furniture in his dressing room after watching it. Cuban Wall and Vitamin X jaw with the fans. VX does the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle, and then calls for a microphone. CW continues glaring angrily at the fans. CABOOSE Well, Cuban Wall and Vitamin X don’t take too kindly to being parodied, especially when the parody implies that Cuban Wall is a closeted homosexual! But it’s okay. Vitamin X and Cuban Wall will take care of Leon Rodez and his friends later tonight. COLE But why are they out here right now? And what are they carrying? CABOOSE Beats me. Cuban Wall is holding the shirts he and Vitamin X came out with. Vitamin X gets a microphone. He chats with Cuban Wall. “Bling-Bling” by The B.G. featuring The Big Tymers and Hot Boys dies down. The crowd boos. COLE Vitamin X is not a popular wrestler here in Memphis. CABOOSE Well Memphis is filled with pieces of lower class filth, so that’s why. Vitamin X looks at the crowd, and then puts the microphone to his lips. VITAMIN X I guess you are all wondering why I wasn’t here last week. Well, after the brutal match I had with John “Rock Hard” Brickston at Zero Hour, which I won by the way, I had to have a week vacation to relax, to recover, so that way I could return to the OAOAST fit as a fiddle, ready to entertain you all. So, I spent a week in my 16-acre mansion down in Miami, Florida, recovering with the most beautiful models in the world by my side, sipping on champagne, and relaxing in my state of the art Jacuzzi. Thank you all very much for the cards and the emails you sent me while I was gone for a week. I really appreciate it. It was a wonderful vacation, and now, I am back, here on HeldDOWN~!, 100% and ready to kick those four losers the Latino Thug Street Fight later tonight! BOO-YAH~! The crowd boos loudly. Vitamin X acts like they’re cheers. CABOOSE I’m so glad Vitamin X is healthy again. I missed him last week. COLE I bet you were the only one that missed him. CABOOSE Hush up, fool! Cuban Wall jaws with some fans. VX Now, I was hoping to come to Los Angeles for this week’s HeldDOWN~!, or maybe New York City for this week’s HeldDOWN~!, or Hell, maybe we could go to Havana, Cuba for this week’s HeldDOWN~!. But no. No. We have come down here. To Memphis, Tennessee. (CHEAP POP~!) COLE Yep, we’re in Memphis tonight. VX (CONT’D) Now, normally I would be shocked as to why you’re so proud of living in such a stinky, disgusting, backwoods, hick town like Memphis. CROWD BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! VX But THEN, I remembered. It’s because everybody who lives in Memphis, including all you people in this arena, are pieces of lower…class…filth. CROWD BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! COLE Now come on! That’s not nice. CABOOSE He’s right. This is a hick town. I can smell some of the people in the front row from here. COACH Caboose made a funny! VITAMIN X And, in a crowd filled with lower class filth, it makes sense that they would cheer for a piece of lower class filth. Infact, the BIGGEST piece of lower class filth on the planet. You people would cheer for that piece of lower class filth…COLOMBIAN HEAT. “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE Colombian Heat is popular no matter where he goes. CABOOSE Do they even have Colombians in Memphis? VX Yeah. I know. Yea! Colombian Heat! Yea! Oh shut up! Please. I am sick and tired of everyone always talking about Colombian Heat! Colombian Heat this. Colombian Heat that. Colombian Heat with a wiffleball bat. Just pipe down! Jesus Christ, the man is nothing to get hyped up about. He is a weak, skinny, mediocre wrestler who gets by by kissing your asses each week. To use an old cliché, he can talk the talk, but he can’t walk the walk. Colombian Heat is his name? Well, it should really be Colombian HACK. CABOOSE Testify, Brother Vitamin! COACH Amen! COLE Oh please. The crowd boos. VX (CONT’D) I saw that little Lightning Crew Parody last week. Real cute, guys. And I noticed that it was Colombian Heat doing an impression of me. Too bad you got me completely WRONG! I am not some annoying, high-energy spazz who wears tons of gold jewelry, does the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle constantly, and says “BOO-YAH~!” every twelve seconds! COLE Well, I beg to differ. CABOOSE It wasn’t even close to how he really is, Michael. COLE Uh-huh. Sure. VITAMIN X But what I really am is a smart, sophisticated; handsome, eloquent, well-read, well traveled, sweet, intelligent, sexy man of the future. I represent the best a man can be. I represent high society, I represent the peak of western civilization, and DAMNIT, I represent it well! The crowd boos. Cuban Wall nods in agreement (he thinks Vitamin X is sexy? Maybe John Brickston’s impersonation of him wasn’t too far off if you know what I mean.) He also says, “You are. You are.” (See?) VITAMIN X So, Heat, if you’re going to mock me, it’s only fair that I mock you, you piece of lower class filth. I saw your little commercial for your new soccer jersey earlier, and it gave me an idea. You see, not only am I the Financial Consultant for The Lightning Crew, but I am also something of a creative genius. So, using my highly intelligent MENSA certified brain, I came up with a new shirt for Colombian Heat. A better shirt. A SUPERIOR shirt. Fans, instead of wearing the lame, bland Colombian Heat soccer jersey that Colombian Heat probably designed himself, why don’t you wear the NEW Colombian Heat soccer jersey created by moi. The shirt that all the kids are going to want to buy. The shirt that will make me even MORE millions! The shirt that will get you all the ladies trust me! I present to you, the NEW Colombian Heat soccer jersey! The crowd wonders what Vitamin X is going to bring out. Cuban Wall unfurls the two shirts he and X brought out. The crowd starts booing. The shirts are the same Colombian Heat yellow soccer jersey with red stripes that Colombian Heat advertised earlier in the show, except that HEAT been covered on the front with black tape, and HACK has been written on it. On the back, COLOMBIA has also been covered with black tape, and FILTH has been written on the tape. The 1 is covered with black tape also, and a 2 has been written on it. It looks like Vitamin X wrote the words himself. Cuban Wall and Vitamin X model the two modified yellow soccer jerseys. COLE Now this is ridiculous! CABOOSE It’s brilliant Michael! Simply brilliant! Vitamin X really is a creative genius! He’s awesome! COLE It’s just the regular Colombian Heat soccer jersey, but Vitamin X wrote all over it! CABOOSE Don’t be ridiculous Cole! It’s the NEW Colombian Heat soccer jersey. It’s simply awesome! VITAMIN X Who wants the new Colombian Heat soccer jersey? CABOOSE Me! Me! Pick me! Me! Me! Vitamin X takes one of the modified soccer jerseys and throws it to the crowd. A bunch of fans fight over the jersey. CABOOSE Aw! I wanted one! Damn! COLE You can buy one. CABOOSE I’m not going to pay for a shirt, you jackass. VITAMIN X So, forget about the lame, stupid Colombian Heat soccer jersey. Buy the hip, fresh Colombian HACK soccer jersey! Only $49.95, order it on OAOASTShopzone.com! BOO-YAH~! A piano plays a melody. The crowd cheers loudly. Vitamin X’s smile fades. He turns to face the entrance. Cuban Wall gets ready for a fight. The lights go down in the arena, turning back on in tune with the melody. DMX COME ON! *KA-BOOM~!* Pyro explodes, leaving behind fire that burns on both sides of the entrance stage. “Gasolina (Remix)” by Daddy Yankee featuring Lil’ Jon and Pitbull starts playing. The crowd cheers as the entrance doors slide open, and Colombian Heat walks out, pissed off beyond belief. COLE Well, you asked for it, X. You wanted him? You got him! Colombian Heat is here! Heat is in his street clothes and Colombian Heat yellow soccer jersey, since he will also be competing in the Latino Thug Street Fight later on tonight. He has a microphone in his right hand, and is staring a hole into Vitamin X. Vitamin X looks terrified, but tries to act tough. Cuban Wall mouths off to Heat. COLE It’s no secret that Colombian Heat and Vitamin X haven’t seen eye to eye lately. They’ve been getting into fights ever since Anglepalooza when Vitamin X screwed Colombian Heat out of the 24/7 Title! CABOOSE So? Why is Heat out here? He’s got a match tonight! COLE So does Vitamin X, but he’s still out here. CABOOSE Well Vitamin X rules. He can do whatever he wants. Colombian Heat brings the microphone to his lips. COLOMBIAN HEAT Yo, kill the beat. “Gasolina (Remix)” by Daddy Yankee featuring Lil’ Jon and Pitbull dies down. The crowd cheers. “HEAT! HEAT! HEAT! HEAT!” COLOMBIAN HEAT Yo, Vitamin X. I sees that youse been saying crap about me for weeks now. Talkin’ all that bull about how I some piece of lower class filth. Vitamin X nods. The crowd boos. HEAT Well, X. I may not be as smart as youse. I may not wear the clothes that you wear. I may not like Beethoven or that Mozart guy, but that doesn’t mean that I suck! CROWD YOU’RE RIGHT! YOU DON’T SUCK! COLOMBIAN HEAT Vitamin X, if there’s anyone that sucks in herre, it’s you! CROWD YEAH! HE’S RIGHT! CABOOSE That’s not true. That’s not true at all! You suck Colombian HACK! “YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!” Vitamin X tries to drown out the chants from the fans. Cuban Wall covers X’s ears. COLE And these fans are letting X have it in Memphis! Vitamin X tells Cuban Wall to let go. VITAMIN X That’s enough! That’s enough! ENOUGH! STOP IT! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” VX Colombian Heat, I have had it up to here with you, you Ebonics spewing, baggy pants wearing, ingrate! Tonight, we’re going to put you on the shelf for good! But I’m not going to wait until the Latino Thug Street Fight to do that. Oh no. No, I want a match right here! Right now! COLE Hey! That’s fine with me! Colombian Heat vs. Vitamin X one-on-one right now! Heat nods, as if to say, “It’s cool with me.” Vitamin X looks at the crowd, then back at Heat. VITAMIN X Wait a minute. Hold on. Hold on. Wait. This match isn’t going to be me versus you. No. This match is going to be you…versus CUBAN WALL! Cuban Wall has an evil grin on his face. He nods approvingly. Vitamin X also has an evil grin on his face. COLE Oh no. That can’t be good. Cuban Wall vs. Colombian Heat. CABOOSE HA! HA! HA! Great idea, X! Genius! Colombian Heat paces around the entrance stage, thinking it over. COLOMBIAN HEAT Okay. It’s cool. But, only on one condition, and one condition only. After I beat his ass, I get a match with you at AngleMania V! The crowd cheers! This catches Vitamin X off guard. COLE Whoa! That’s quite the stipulation! Vitamin X vs. Colombian Heat at AngleMania? CABOOSE Heh. Take it X. Like Colombian Heat stands a chance against Cuban Wall. Cuban Wall and Vitamin X talk it over. VITAMIN X If you win, you and me at AngleMania V? Well…YOU’RE ON! COLE Vitamin X accepts. Colombian Heat must win this match to get a match against Vitamin X at AngleMania V on April 2nd! VITAMIN X Get a referee out here to ring the bell. This match has started! COLE Here we go! Colombian Heat vs. Cuban Wall. One on one. If Colombian Heat wins, he gets Vitamin X at AngleMania V! Colombian Heat puts down his microphone and walks down the entrance ramp. Cuban Wall high fives Vitamin X. VX leaves the ring. Cuban Wall flicks his wrists, and cracks his knuckles, smirking at Heat, as he gets closer to the ring. COACH Colombian Heat isn’t going to get what he wants. Cuban Wall is going to wipe the mat with him. He’s 6’7” 285 lbs. Colombian Heat has no chance with him. COLE Colombian Heat has beaten Cuban Wall in the past. He beat him in the FIRST Latino Thug Street Fight back in December. CABOOSE Yeah. But that was then. This is now. Colombian Heat enters the ring. Some fan yells out, “COME ON HEAT!” Heat stands in a corner staring at Cuban Wall. Vitamin X is on the outside looking at Wall. Referee Charles Robinson runs into the ring. He calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* CUBAN WALL vs. COLOMBIAN HEAT (If Colombian Heat wins, he faces Vitamin X at OAOAST AngleMania V on Sunday April 2, 2006) Cuban Wall charges forward, but Colombian Heat ducks, and punches Cuban Wall in the face. He does it again. And again! Colombian Heat DANCES~! And then punches Wall in the face to complete the Shake, Rattle, & Roll. However, Wall doesn’t fall! So, Colombian Heat bounces off the ropes, and leaps up, giving Cuban Wall a leg lariat, taking him down! COLE He just brought Cuban Wall down to the mat! COACH Oh no! Heat looks at Wall, and then bounces off the ropes. He does a SHIMMY~! and then drops a knee on Cuban Wall. Shaky Leg Kneedrop! COLE Colombian Heat has been in control of Cuban Wall since this match started! CABOOSE Get up Wall! Get up! Vitamin X gets on the ring apron. He gets Charles Robinson’s attention, irritating the crowd. He is holding the one Colombian Hack yellow soccer jersey he has left. Colombian Heat sees Vitamin X on the ring apron. COLE Vitamin X is distracting the referee! What a surprise! CABOOSE He’s just telling the referee about his new Colombian Hack soccer jersey. That’s all. COLE Yeah right. Heat stands up and yells at Vitamin X. While he is doing all of this yelling, Cuban Wall is getting up. *DING* Cuban Wall delivers a low blow to Colombian Heat! COLE Aw! Colombian Heat goes down! CABOOSE HA! HA! Way to go! HA! HA! Colombian Heat crumbles to the mat, holding his nutz. CW stomps on Heat, continuing the assault. The crowd boos. Wall picks Colombian Heat up. He gives Heat the CLUBBERIN’~! THEY BE CLUBBERIN’~! forearms. “LET’S GO HEAT! LET’S GO HEAT! LET’S GO HEAT! LET’S GO HEAT!” CABOOSE Come on Cuban Wall! Beat that piece of lower class filth! Beat him! Cuban Wall scoops Colombian Heat up. He takes him over to a turnbuckle, and is about to drop him with the Snake Eyes, BUT COLOMBIAN HEAT ESCAPES! Heat unleashes a combination of chops and punches to Cuban Wall, weakening him and getting the crowd fired up. COLE Colombian Heat is just laying into Cuban Wall! Heat switches to his martial arts kicks. He martial arts kicks Cuban Wall all over his body, finishing with a jumping back kick to Wall’s jaw! Cuban Wall slumps down onto the mat, with his resting on the bottom turnbuckle. CABOOSE Oh damnit! Damnit! COLE Here we go! It’s time for the Broncobuster! Colombian Heat heads to the opposite turnbuckle. The crowd cheers loudly. Heat does the lowrider hand gesture, and then charges forward, giving Cuban Wall the Broncobust---CUBAN WALL ESCAPES! The crowd boos. CABOOSE Yes. Thank goodness. Phew. Cuban Wall is on the outside. Colombian Heat follows. He punches Cuban Wall in the back. Suddenly, Vitamin X injects himself into the match, by clotheslining Heat from behind! COACH Go get him X-Man! Colombian Heat stumbles, but quickly turns around. Vitamin X craps his pants. VX runs away from Heat, but Heat is following him. Charles Robinson has also gotten out of the ring, and is following Heat AND X around ringside. COLE Colombian Heat, who’s being followed by Charles Robinson, is chasing Vitamin X! CABOOSE Look at the jungle cat! Look at how fast he is! He’s cat-like! While this is going on, Cuban Wall has come back into the ring. He relaxes for a bit, watching the cat and mouse chase on the outside. Suddenly the crowd starts cheering, as through the crowd runs out Spanish Fly! Fly runs into the ring and climbs the top rope. COLE Spanish Fly is out here! Cuban Wall doesn’t notice that Spanish Fly is behind him. So, that’s why he’s shocked when Spanish Fly leaps off the top rope, grabs his head with his right leg, and slams him down to the mat with the Fly Swatter! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE Fly Swatter! CABOOSE Oh no! Don’t tell me Cuban Wall is going to lose this way! COACH Not thanks to a 10-year-old! Spanish Fly quickly leaves the ring. Cuban Wall is laid out on the mat, knocked out from the Fly Swatter. Meanwhile, Vitamin X has entered the ring to try and escape from Colombian Heat. Colombian Heat follows suit, but then stops when he sees Cuban Wall is flat on his back on the mat. Charles Robinson has also entered the ring. Colombian Heat covers Cuban Wall, hooking Wall’s left leg. Charles Robinson counts. CABOOSE No! No! NOOOOOOOOOOO! 1… 2… 2 ½ 2.9999999999999999999999999999999 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *DING DING DING* (2:11) COLE Colombian Heat did it! Colombian Heat gets Vitamin X at AngleMania! CABOOSE DAMNIT! DAMNIT! DAMNIT! Colombian Heat gets off of Cuban Wall and raises his hands in the air. Spanish Fly is on the outside celebrating too. “Gasolina (Remix)” by Daddy Yankee featuring Lil’ Jon and Pitbull starts playing. Charles Robinson raises Heat’s hands in victory to cheers. Vitamin X is stunned that Wall lost. COLE Colombian Heat pulled off the upset! With some help from Spanish Fly— CABOOSE SOME help? How about ALL help? Colombian Heat would be dead if it weren’t for Spanish Fly. That little booger somehow helped Colombian Heat win. Now Vitamin X is being FORCED to face that piece of lower class filth at AngleMania! COLE Well, Vitamin X asked for it. He’s been saying stuff about Colombian Heat for weeks now, and at AngleMania, it’s put up or shut up time for him. Spanish Fly enters the ring. He leaps up and Colombian Heat catches him, recreating the famous picture of Yogi Berra catching Don Larsen after he completed his perfect game in Game 5 of the 1956 World Series. Fly and Heat celebrate as “Gasolina (Remix)” continues playing. Colombian Heat does a little SHIMMY~! a’la Eddie Guerrero in the ring. Cuban Wall rolls out of the ring, holding his head in pain. Vitamin X goes to check on him, but Wall punches him in the jaw. CUBAN WALL THAT’S for making me have this match in the first place! VITAMIN X Dude, I’m sorry. I didn’t think he would actually win! CUBAN WALL Well, I lost! And it was thanks to a midget! So— Cuban Wall punches Vitamin X in the jaw again! VX holds his jaw, and lets out a small “Ow.” CABOOSE I can’t believe that Vitamin X is going to have to have a match at the biggest show of the year against Colombian Heat. He’s making his AngleMania debut by taking on COLOMBIAN HACK! He’s going to have to soil his hands with that piece of lower class filth. Ugh. It’s disgusting. Ugh. COLE Colombian Heat now holds TWO victories over Cuban Wall! How many people in the OAOAST can say that? COACH Oh. Don’t bring that up! Please don’t bring that up! Cuban Wall and Vitamin X walk up the entrance ramp, X holding his jaw. Spanish Fly plays to the crowd. Colombian Heat calls for a microphone. He gets one. Heat looks at X and Wall. COLOMBIAN HEAT Hey! Hey! Cuban Wall and Vitamin X stop walking and turn around. “Gasolina (Remix)” by Daddy Yankee featuring Lil’ Jon and Pitbull dies down. The crowd cheers. COLOMBIAN HEAT Be careful what you wish for, X. Cuz in four weeks, I’ve got your ass at AngleMania V! The crowd cheers. HEAT And belee me, chump! At AngleMania V, you will feel…the…Heat…UP IN THIS— “BI-AAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTCHHHHHHHHHHHHH~!” HEAT DAAAAAAAAMN RIGHT! “Gasolina (Remix)” by Daddy Yankee featuring Lil’ Jon and Pitbull starts up again. Vitamin X holds his head in sadness. Cuban Wall glares IN ANGER~! at Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly, who are smiling happily. Wall threatens the two of them, while Vitamin X is still stunned that he actually has to face Colombian Heat at AngleMania V. Spanish Fly says, “In 4 weeks, you’re going down!” COLE It’s official. In 4 weeks time, Sunday April 2nd, at the Trump Plaza Hotel And Casino Convention Center. Vitamin X goes one-on-one with Colombian Heat to settle the score once and for all! And maybe, at long last, finally Colombian Heat will get some payback for Vitamin X screwing him at Anglepalooza! CABOOSE Wish that all you want. It’s going to be Vitamin X coming out the winner at AngleMania! COLE Well, we don’t know yet. We still got four more weeks, 23 more days until AngleMania V! CABOOSE It’s not going to happen. I have a feeling; call it a sixth sense if you will, that it won’t happen. It’s not. COLE Okay. I get it Caboose. I get it. You don’t need to say it again. CABOOSE Loser. COLE Cuban Wall, Vitamin X, Spanish Fly, and Colombian Heat will all be in action later tonight when they participate, along with "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican, Mr. Boricua, Leon Rodez, and John "Rock Hard" Brickston, in the second ever Latino Thug Street Fight! It’s still to come on HeldDOWN~! Vitamin X stares at Colombian Heat while still holding his jaw. Cuban Wall threatens Spanish Fly and Colombian Heat. Spanish Fly holds up four fingers at Vitamin X, and says, “Four weeks left. Four weeks!” Colombian Heat glares angrily at Vitamin X, and says, “Your ass is mine at AngleMania.” “Gasolina (Remix)” by Daddy Yankee featuring Lil’ Jon and Pitbull is still playing. RIGHT NOW, C’mon, it’s everything RIGHT NOW, Catch a magic moment, do it Right here and now It means everything 23 DAYS AWAY SCHIAVONE Welcome back, fans. We're just 23 days away from the greatest night in the history of our sport, AngleMania V. One of the feature matches you'll see that night is a World Tag Team Title bout between the champions, the New New Midnight Express, against my guests at this time, coming off a big win earlier tonight, the winners of the 2006 Anderson Cup... the HEAVENLY RRRROCKERS! The fans ERUPT as "Heart-Shaped Box" cues up for the third time tonight. Out to the interview stage come the Heavenly Rockers, both a little banged up but still full of energy. SCHIAVONE A number of issues to touch on, gentlemen, but I want to start with the comments made last week on The Louisville Slugger by the "Man of Tomorrow," Frank Frankensteiner. He profusely expressed regret over the behavior from himself and his brother after the Anderson Cup, when they shoved you to the mat and smashed your trophy. Your first public comments on the events that occured at Zero Hour. SYNTH Mann and the Synthmeister, we saw what the Sooners had to lyric, Mr. S. The trophy still might be scattered on the floor of the Staples Center! But when The Rockers from the Heavens do lunch with Bruisers from the Sooner State, beef ain't what's on the menu, home skillet. But love and respect is. It is what it is and it was what it is. Now let's go back to doing what we was doing back when we was doing it. Kick it! COACH What the hell did he just say?! COLE I think he said there's no hard feelings. LOGAN Everybody knows big Frank is one to speak his mind, as...heh...Synth and I have personally found out in the past. Now we're looking toward the present and the future. And I don't mean Hoff, that jacked up bitch who's gonna get his ass handed to him by Mr. T later tonight. The future is AngleMania V. Our date with fate. The night we and our fans have been waiting for since we returned last October. Simon and Ned can take credit for breaking bones and hearts, but one thing they failed to break was our SPIRIT! We've never been more united than we are right here and right now! Fitting since that is the theme to AngleMania. Simon and Ned, they've had their fun. We'll have ours April 2nd at AngleMania V. The night our fate becomes reality. "YEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHH!" SCHIAVONE Your road to AngleMania hasn't been an easy one. We've talked about your match with the Sooner Bruisers at Zero Hour, but equally as impressive was your win earlier tonight, downing the South Central Militia, whose sole purpose was to inflict as much damage as possible on you two prior to AngleM-- * B-BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZ * The lights go out in the arena. Color bars appear on the oval AngleTron over to the side of the interview stage, before turning into a close-up shot of a grinning NED BLANCHARD and SIMON SINGLETON, the New New Midnight Express, riding inside a limo. NED Hey, guys! How are you? Good I hope. Because I get the feeling that will all change after you see this tape. SIMON Which is on tape delay, FYI. Don't want you guys wasting what's left of your brains wondering if this is live or memorex. NED Brother Singleton, you are comedy personified! As I promised last week, we're currently on our way to surprise a very special person, a person whom we both happen to care a great about, Logan, though most likely for much different reasons. You happen to be in head over heels love with her; but she's tank-top over head in lust over me. I mean, come on, let's be honest with each other. If Holly was lusting over you, you wouldn't think twice about jumping into the sack with that hot thing. Love or not. When it comes to a piece of meat that hot and that raw, we're all animals trying to get our bite. SIMON Still there, Mann? Has your jaw your hit the floor yet? Has the color drained from your cheeks? Do you look like Jacko, you whacko? Stay with me, Mann, because you haven't seen anything yet. It's gonna get real good now. NED Jump cut! A jump cut it is, as the limo is now parked outside a beautiful Mediterranean Estate with a lushly manicured garden in Hollywood Hills, California. NED Logan, I know most of you rock stars are stone stupid, but I'm kind of hoping that this place looks familiar to you, buddy. It should. That's where Holly lives, right? What a home. It's not my Italian Villa in Beverly, but it's none too shabby. How much do you think a place like this runs for, Simon? SIMON Couple million, maybe. I heard that Halle Berry's house is around here. NED Been there, done her. I know for a fact that Richard Simmons lives up here also. Big fan of Los Diablos, so I hear. But anyway. What about you, Logan. Do you live there, too? I'd hate to think somebody as hot as Holly lives alone. They're plently of freaks out there, you know. All kinds of twisted sickos and perverts, who are just chomping at the bit to chomp on her sweet little bits. But lucky for you and her, I'M here! SIMON Hey, check it out, Ned. I think she's in there cooking. NED Holly cooking? No way. The camera zooms through the front window and sure enough, Holly is cooking something. NED If she's barefooted, then all she needs is a real man to help her make a baby. SIMON You already have a child, Ned. NED Not with Holly. Let's go inside and see what she's cooking. Maybe she made enough for us. SIMON Damn I wish Pat O'Brien was here. We're about to get inside. NED Jump cut! So we do. Now at the front door and having changed into tuxedos, Ned rings the doorbell, which is set to the tune of Another Brick in the Wall. * DING DING * SIMON Jesus dancing on a hot tin roof! You were right, Ned. Luckily we are here. The security is horrible. NED Atrocious. SIMON Non-existent. NED Lacking, inadequate, wanting, suspect, insufficient, unsatisfactory, sparse, rotten, subpar. SIMON Uh...horrible. NED Cool doorbell. We don't need no education! We don't need no thought control! Very hip. But not as hip as my 50 Cent In Da Club doorbell. It's the sweetness. (Humming the tune, Ned rings it again) HOLLY (Off-Screen) Coming! NED I'm sure she is. Ned looks directly into the camera, smugly raising both eyebrows. SIMON The door opens. Greeting Simon and Ned at the door is a stunned Holly-Wood, wearing workout pants and a white t-shirt. Ned barrages right in as Holly remains shellshocked. HOLLY (her voice nervous and unsure) Get out before I call the cops. SIMON Go ahead. It seems like the fine men in blue owe us a little favor for not charging COD with breaking and entering a year ago. HOLLY Who the hell is that? NED Somebody needs to capture the action on tape, honey bunny. HOLLY What action? What are you talking about? NED Ever see the movie "Misery"? HOLLY Oh, God. The chilling realization that Ned and Simon aren't here to sample her shrimp gumbo forces her to make a frantic dash to the nearest phone. NED (casually) Pin her down. Simon grabs Holly and pins her down on the couch, much to his delight. The poor girl violently thrashes against his grip, which only brings a detestable smile to Ned's visage. NED It looks like you've done this before, Simon. SIMON Rhonda Sue and I have to keep the sparks alive in the bedroom somehow. You really have to take your time with the lady folk and spice things up. Speed is for NASCAR and Jiffy Lube, not the bedroom. That's what I've learned. Ned comes over and takes a seat next to Holly, wrapping his arm around her neck, his attempts to cop a feel repeatedly thwarted. NED Look at her squirm. Don't you just love watching the female body in motion? It's so beautiful, isn't it?(he gently slides his fingers through her hair) God, I could watch her all day. But you're so tense and afraid, honey bunny. You don't have to be scared, pretty baby, I'm your Neddy Bear. I'm not gonna hurt you. HOLLY Leave me alone or I swear to god... NED Leave you alone? I could as much leave my heart, or my soul, or my mind alone as I could you. You're my dream. Wet and fantasty. And... HOLLY Get out! Now! Simon makes himself useful, putting his hand over Holly's mouth to muffle her furious cries. It doesn't deter Holly however, as she only increases the decibel level of her violent screams. HOLLY Mmmmmffff! SIMON (struggling to keep her down) These redheads are a feisty bunch! You know the saying “paint the town red”? Do you think she's painted downtown red? If you know what I mean. NED I know exactly what you mean, brother Singleton, and I'm dying to find out. What do you say, Holly? Do you prefer to show or tell? You don't dress like your shy, but if you are, Simon can close his eyes and you can just give The Ned Man a lil ol' peek at your final frontier. How about it? Stricken with panic, Holly resumes the uphill battle of raging against their tenebrous clutches. But the hold of the muscular demons proves insurmountable and she seems to be forever forced to endure their brand of torture. HOLLY (Speaking so softly it sounds as if she's a mile away) Please...go away. NED (laughing) Damn, girl, you gotta let me finish. You're almost as bad as Krista, but at least you don't throw things. The real reason I'm here is to apologize to you. HOLLY I don't want your apologies. I..I..want you out of my house and out of my life! NED (caressing her flame red locks) You don't mean that, honey bunny. HOLLY Oh, yes I do. I do. SIMON You hear that, Ned? She said I do. NED All the chicks wanna marry the Ned Man. But I'm not hear to accept your marriage proposal, Holly. No, baby. I'm hear to turn your fantasy into reality. I know I've been neglecting your fantasy. I also know you must be depressed that I haven't called to check on you, maybe thinking I don't care about you anymore. Now, I may not care for you emotionally, but physically...oh, my passion burns hotter then ever before. I spend nights anguishing over the fact we live not that far apart and you're just lying on your back, having to fake the big O so you don't hurt Logan's feelings. With me, you wouldn't have to fake anything, girl. I have my fingers, my tongue, and of course Dick Johnson. But again, I'm here to apologize. Now that Krista is out of our way, that lives us with only Logan to vanish. HOLLY (hit by a gust of extreme worry) Wha...what have you done to him?! SIMON Nothing. Yet. NED I've already ruled out murder because Simon and I end up doing that all the time we're in the ring with the Heavenly Rockers. Come on, how many more beatings can the guy take? But here we are, finally together. Logan is in Memphis. This portion of the taping will be beamed to OAOAST headquaters, where the fine people now in charge of the show have agreed to air this segment on tonight's show. Of course, the footage of the music you and I will make after Simon and our special little helper edit what we what shown will go directly into my personal collection. You know what I want. And I'll tell you what. Because I'm such a great guy, I'll make you a little promise. If you let me live my dream, cutie, I'll end your nightmare. But if you don't do me this little favor...then, well...your pain and misery's just getting started. You see, the war between the N-N-M-X and the Heavenly Rockers will come to a dramatic end at AngleMania. Synth and Logan are a real threat to us now. They want our tag belts. But that isn't going to happen, now, is it? History may not be my greatest passion, but take World War II for example. When the good ol' U.S. of A. dropped the A-bomb on Japan, they gave the Emperor a taste of bigger things to come if they didn't accept an unconditional surrender. Simon and I, we've given your boys a taste of things to come by having already broken hearts, bones and spirits. And when I crush your spirit, it stays crushed. Ask Krista. HOLLY Kiss my ass. LOGAN I never thought you'd ask. Heh Heh Heh. It's just like I asked you, how many more beatings do you think Logan and Synth possibly withstand? How many more times can Simon and I break that Eminem wannabe Synth's arm, before his career is kaput because we left him with as much drumming ability as an amputee. A one arm drummer may make a good "Dateline" human interest piece, but it don't make for good record sales. And what about your boyfriend? How many times are we gonna have to pound that no-talent, no singing sack of shit, because you're to selfish to give me what I want? I don't give a damn about the Heavenly Rockers! It's you, Holly, you are the glue that's keeping us altogether! How do you think he feels, knowing that his repeated trips to injured list are because his girlfriend is too uptight to take one for the team? If I don't get what I want tonight, who do you think I'll take it out on next week? Who's gonna bear the brunt of my rage? Who always bears the brunt of my rage? I'll hurt him, I'll hurt Synth, and it will be your fault. Their blood will be on YOUR hands if you don't accept an unconditional surrender. And you will have to live with that until you die. When you visit him in the hospital, in your mind, you will know that you put him there. When you wheel him out of the ER, in your mind, you will know you put him in that chair. You took his career. Your selfishness ruined him! HOLLY (failing to choke back her tears) If you want it so bad, get it over with, asshole! NED (whispering into her ear) Oh, I want it bad. It's something I've wanted for a long, long time. Lead the way. Holly gets up and takes Ned into a room. Loud thuds and bangs can be heard coming from the room. HOLLY (Off-Screen) What are you doing, asshole?! NED (grunting) Having fun, honey bunny! "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Simon sits on the sofa and puts on his I-Pod nano, grinning ear to ear. SIMON See ya at AngleMania. (singing) "I...could just die in your arms tonight..." * B-BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZ * The Heavenly Rockers are left speechless on the stage. After the initial shock wears off, they rush to the back. Pissed. COLE (somber) Oh...Oh, my God. COACH See. Was it that hard? The Heavenly Rockers-NNMX feud is now over. Holly just saved her man and his best friend from another ass-kicking. CABOOSE The feud isn't over. It's just begun. We cut backstage to our cameraman, presumably Marty because the man is everywhere, doing the best he can to keep up with the Heavenly Rockers as they run through the halls of the FedEx Forum. The camera follows Synth and Logan to the lockerrom, where Los Diablos de Feugo are laid near the doorway, a pair of SLAPJACKS near their curled up bodies. We enter the lockerrom and see the SOONER BRUISERS beating on the SCM in the corner, screaming that's for Holly. OAOAST officials do a good job keeping the brawl from intensifying, quickly separating the teams and escorting them out of the room. One OAOAST agent puts his hand over the lense as we fade to commerical. AngleMania V LIVE ON PAY PER VIEW Free Krista bobblehead with order. COLE Let's go backstage where Josh Matthews is with the man who will face Peter Knight for the OAOAST Heavyweight Title at AngleMania. Josh? We cut to the back where Josh stands next to Alfdogg, who is still has a bandage on his forehead as a result of his Zero Hour match. J-MATH Thanks Michael. Alf, you competed in what many are calling an early contender for Match of the Year at Zero Hour, but you came out on the losing end. Thoughts? VOICE Yeah, I can give you some thoughts. The camera pans over to reveal Peter Knight, title belt draped over his shoulder, as he walks over to Josh, standing on his left. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" KNIGHT Hmm, something looks different about you this week Alf. New haircut? New shirt? Get a bikini wax? Oh, I know what it is. You don't have that Heartland Title belt around your waist anymore. That..... This time, it's Alf's turn to interrupt as he pulls Josh's microphone back towards him. ALF I know what you're going to say, so I'll say it for you. It is a funny feeling not having that belt on my shoulder. But that funny feeling will be gone in about 3 1/2 weeks, bub, don't you worry. *Alf pats the belt on PK's shoulder as the crowd cheers.* And while it is a burden I'd gladly take, holding a title and having to defend it IS a bit of a burden. I don't have to worry about that until the big show, but, if I heard Axel right last week, YOU still have to defend that title two more times until we meet in Atlantic City. So, I'm actually kind of glad I lost it to Brock, because now, I have nothing else to distract me. I, because I won the Rumble, am guaranteed the main event at AngleMania but you.....well, you aren't. All it takes is for one of your opponents to hit that one move, that one lucky little moment, and I will be facing him in 4 weeks, not you. I don't have a bullseye on my back.....you do. See you at AngleMania......maybe. Alf walks off, leaving a Peter Knight that isn't quite as smug as he was just minutes ago. Josh attempts to ask him a question, but Knight roughly shoves him away and walks off as we fade out. UP NEXT: Latino Thug Street Fight Commercial break Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted March 10, 2006 COLE Get ready for chaos to ensue folks, because up next it's eight men, no rules, the Latino Thug Street Fight with The Lightning Crew taking on four men they know very well. Leon Rodez leads Colombian Heat, Spanish Fly and John Brickston into battle tonight with the events of last week still fresh in mind. In the middle of his 24/7 Title defence, PRL ran for the hills and got himself counted out to save his belt. CABOOSE Again with the hating on PRL. What's your problem, Michael? I have it on good authority that PRL had to leave because Mr Boricua made him some bad chili, which repeated on him during the match. Nothing to do with fear or saving his belt. COLE Sure. That aside, there's plenty of ill-feeling between the eight men in this match. Four Lightning Crew members, three former Lightning Crew members... CABOOSE And a wannabee Lightning Crew member. COLE ...yes yes, I hadn't forgotten about you 'Boose. Me and Caboose on commentary and Leon Rodez, rightful 24/7 Champion, in the match. CABOOSE Oh, hardy har. I'm a wannabee nothing. “LIGHTNING CREW!” "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The crowd react loudly and negatively, as the opening to “No Chance In Hell” hits. Smoke fills the entryway and the lights begin to flicker on and off in the entrance. After a few seconds, the crescendo hits, a lightning bolt hits the entrance, and “No Chance In Hell” by Bradley Royds starts playing while The Lightning Crew entrance video plays on the Jumbotron. *No Chance (No chance) That’s what ya got (Ha, ha. Yeah.) We’re up against no machine too strong (Too strong) Pussy politicians buying souls for us are…PUPPETS! (Puppets!)* One by one, the members of The Lightning Crew file out through the entrance way. Leading the way is the 24/7 Champion Tha Puerto Rican, carrying his spinner belt proudly over his shoulder as he comes to the ring dressed in his swanky black warm-up attire. In his right hand, dragging behind him, PRL brings into this LTSF a garbage can that he's clearly picked up at the last minute, as it's still full of trash. By his side is Vitamin X, carrying to the ring with him his trusty kendo stick and wearing a specially made soccer jersey that ingeniously says "Colombian HACK" instead of Colombian Heat. Oh, that Vitamin X. What a kidder. Bringing up the rear are the muscle of the Lightning Crew...Cuban Wall, who's in his normal ring gear because he lives, eats and breathes wrestling gosh darnit, and Mr Boricua who's clad in normal street clothes. Wall drags a ladder behind him, while Boricua carries a large 'STOP' sign. *But will find their place in line (In line) But tie a string around your finger now boy cuz Cuz, it’s just a matter OF TIME! Cuz you’ve got…NO CHANCE! (You’ve got no chance) NO CHANCE IN HELL! You’ve got…NO CHANCE! (Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!) NO CHANCE IN HELL! You’ve got…NO CHANCE! (Got no chance) NO CHANCE IN HELL! You’ve got…NO CHANCE! (Chance!) NO CHANCE IN HELL!!!* BUFFER The following contest is the LATINO THUG STREET FIGHT, scheduled for one fall with no time limit! The match can end via a pinfall or a submission inside of the squared circle and in this match, there are NO Disqualifications! Introducing first... THHEEE LIIIGHTNIIING CRREEEEEWWWW!! At a total combined weight of ONE THOUSAND and fifty three pounds! From Havana, Cuba... CUBAN WALL! Hailing from Tijuana, Mexico... MR. BORICUA! From Miami, Florida... "The X-Man", VITAMIN X! And, hailing from San Juan, Puerto Rico. He is the reigning OAOAST 24/7 Champion of the World... "The Corporate Champion", THAAA PUERTO RRRRRIIIICCAAAAAAANN!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" *Come on Come on Come and get it! (Come and get it!) Come on! Come on Come on Come and get it (Come and get it!) Come on! (Come on!)* The Lightning Crew enter the ring and assemble in front of the ropes, waiting for PRL's nod...to give the Lightning Crew salute, in unison. PRL sets his garbage can in the corner and Wall dumps his ladder safely on the apron, X wielding the kendo stick like something out of a bad kung-fu movie while Boricua still holds the stop sign. CABOOSE Do they look ready or what? COLE The Lightning Crew have come prepared. Of course, one of the rules or requirements, however you want to put it, of the Latino Thug Street Fight is that the combatants bring their own weapon to the ring with them. But, that also means that their opponents will be equally prepared. PRL removes his 24/7 Championship and holds it like a makeshift weapon, as The Lightning Crew wait on their opponents. All four men are staring at the entrance way now, X hopping over-anxiously on the spot, much to Cuban Wall's annoyance. *GOOOOONG!* "YYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" "C'mon man" "DON'T CALL IT A COMEBACK..." The crowd go nuclear for "Mama Said Knock You Out" and the arrival of the anti-Lightning Crew, if you will. First through the entrance doors is Spanish Fly, the masked sub-5 footer carrying a steel chair and raising it high over his head. John Brickston is out next, you know how everyone's dressed if you read my fantastic promo from earlier, but suffice to say he's ready for a street fight and wielding a 2x4 over his shoulder. Following out to a big pop comes Leon Rodez, in his ring gear of course and bringing with him the immortal frying pan! Last out is Colombian Heat, pimped up to the eyeballs in some crunkin' street gear and carrying a hubcap in his right hand. Stereotypical, maybe, have you ever seen him speak? BUFFER And, their opponents. First, hailing from ... JOHN "ROCK HARD" BRICKSTON! His partner, now residing in San Diego, California... SPANISH FLY! Now residing in Miami, Florida... COLOMBIAN HEAT! And finally, their tag team partner hails from Grand Rapids, Michigan... "The New Age Love Machine", he is "SILKY SMOOTH" LLLEEEOOOOONN RRRRROOOOOOOODDEEEEEEZZZZZZZ!!! "YYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" CABOOSE Look at that thug Colombian Heat, carrying a hubcap to the ring! I bet he stole that! COLE And I suppose PRL BOUGHT that full trash can? CABOOSE You can't own trash, doofus. The foursome reach ringside and a brief stand-off between the two teams ensues...followed by a mad scramble into the ring by the anti-Lightning Crew, prompting The actual Lightning Crew to jump their opponents, kicking the fight off at top gear! *DING DING DING* LATINO THUG STREET FIGHT "THE CORPORATE CHAMPION" THA PUERTO RICAN, VITAMIN X, CUBAN WALL, AND MR. BORICUA vs. LEON RODEZ, COLOMBIAN HEAT, JOHN "ROCK HARD" BRICKSTON, and SPANISH FLY Scrambling to his feet, Brickston uses his 2x4 to keep Cuban Wall at bay. PRL puts the boots to Rodez and Boricua does the same to Spanish Fly, while Colombian Heat manages to drag Vitamin X out of the ring and to ringside. Still clutching his kendo stick, X takes a wild swing. Heat ducks it though and promptly tackles The X-Man to the floor, mounting the annoying LC Financial Consultant and peppering him with right hands. The crowd go wild as Heat beats away on X. Meanwhile, Wall is sent through the ropes and to the floor from a Brickston 2x4 shot. PRL begins to go after Brickston, but is stopped by a right hand flurry from Rodez, allowing Brickston to follow Wall out. COLE I have to question the wisdom of only having one referee in the ring, because this is chaos! CABOOSE All he has to do is count to three. It's No DQs, he's got it cushy. Rodez continues to unload on PRL, before sending him into the ropes. On the way back, PRL clings onto the ropes to stop himself...and Boricua steps in, grabbing Rodez by the throat! The big man gives the signal for the Chokeslam... *CRACK!* ...and gets nailed in the spine with a Spanish Fly chairshot! Boricua drops Rodez and clutches his spine, while Fly gives an on-rushing PRL a mulekick...before nailing Boricua over the head with the chair! Boricua falls into the ropes, while Rodez rushes past Fly, knocking PRL down with a clothesline! Teaming up, Fly and Rodez then unload on Boricua with flurries of right hands before Rodez nails PRL with another clothesline, this one sending The Corporate Champion over the top to the floor! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" Landing on his feet (near enough), PRL abandons Rodez and goes after Heat, helping out the still helpless Vitamin X. That leaves Fly and Rodez in the ring with Boricua and they continue to team up on the big guy. Rodez grabs the hubcap and tells Fly to go for an irish whip. That's a pretty dumb move though, as Boricua simply blocks and smacks Fly across the back to knock him down. Rodez runs in with the hubcap, but Boricua PUNCHES it back in his face!! COLE Good Lord, I think Boricua dented that hubcap with his fist! Boricua takes a quick look around and sees everyone else dealt with, so makes a pin on Rodez... 1... 2... Kickout. Pulling up Rodez, Boricua scoops his opponent up with ease. Slowly Boricua turns around to show off his power, but eventually he turns one turn too far, taking another *CRACK!*ing chairshot from Spanish Fly! Dazed, Boricua drops Rodez. That allows Fly to swing with another chairshot...only, this time, Boricua cuts him off with a Big Boot to the jaw! On the outside, Brickston and Wall are still brawling, while PRL is now taking care of Colombian Heat, driving the former Lightning Crew member's spine into the ring apron. Boricua pulls Rodez up in the ring and backs him into a corner... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOOO!" ...and just CAVES his chest in with an overhand chop! Rodez clutches at his chest while Boricua backs across the ring, gaining a run-up before charging into the corner with a big running ass of doo...NO! Rodez moves and Boricua crashes backfirst into the turnbuckles! The bigman slumps in the corner as Rodez lines him up... *slap!* "WHOOOOOOOOO!" ...hitting a not quite so devestating overhand chop, which Boricua laughs at! So Rodez quickly pokes Boricua in the eyes, getting a cheap laugh in the process, before his glance is caught by glinting metal. Smiling broadly, Rodez picks up the frying pan he had brought to the ring and goes back over to Boricua, waving the pan under his nose before swinging it down... *SLAAAAPANG!* ...WITH AN OVERHAND FRYING PAN SLAP!! CABOOSE Yeouch! COLE It's out of the frying pan and into the fire for Mr Boricua! CABOOSE Uhm...what? Throwing down the frying pan, off into the ropes runs Rodez, catching Boricua as he staggers out with a running forearm. Of course, Boricua doesn't go down. So Rodez hits the ropes again, this time coming with a clothesline. Boricua shockingly does a drop down though, forcing Leon to go up and over. Hitting the ropes again, Rodez runs past Boricua as he slowly clambers back up, running in and...LEAPFROG BY BORICUA...FAILS, the 300 pounder only getting two foot off the ground before being brought down into some Heamorrhoids!! COLE That could have broken Rodez's leg! CABOOSE Boricua's not that big, Mikey. The bigman grabs his little Boricuas, as Fly and Rodez now link arms for a double clothesline. Boricua doesn't go down though. Fly and Rodez try again, but again Boricua doesn't go down. Looking a little confused, Rodez figures that third time's always the charm and they go for one more. Boricua cuts them off this time, running right through the clotheslines and off into the ropes. Building up as much speed as he could, Boricua then comes thundering back... RODEZ STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP! Holding up the stop sign, Rodez flinches and cowers...but, amazingly, it works! Boricua stops and seems in some sort of trance as he does exactly as the sign in front of his eyes says. "BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" CABOOSE NO! Move Boricua, move!! Damn his respect for the Green Cross Code! Rodez quickly calls over Fly and tells him to hold the sign in place, keeping Boricua stood with mouth agape in the centre of the ring. Hardly able to believe his luck, the smirking Rodez starts to mock Boricua, pulling faces behind the big guy's back and even doing THE CHARLESTON~! Still Boricua is stuck, staring at the stop sign. So Rodez quickly backs into a corner and climbs to the middle rope. Directing Fly, he gets him to back the transfixed Boricua up a little, before coming off the ropes and PUNCHING BORICUA IN THE ASS!! "YYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" CABOOSE NOT THAT AGAIN!! COLE The Ass Punch! The Ass Punch! Holding his BUTT, Boricua has finally been broken from his trance. Rodez shakes off some 'pain' in his hand before he and Fly each take a side of the stop sign, charging at Boricua and clocking him in the head with the metal sign! Down goes Boricua, Rodez and Fly both immediately leaping on top for the cover... 1... Cuban Wall enters the ring, pulling first Rodez and then Fly off of his partner. Brickston has been dealt with on the floor and now Cuban Wall has the 2x4. But first, he picks Spanish Fly up and HURLS him over the top and to the outside with a splat! CABOOSE There we go! Wall isn't gonna take any of this comedy crap. Wall now grabs the 2x4 and stalks after Rodez, holding the wooden impliment high above his head. Finding himself backed into the corner, all Rodez can do is kick out and hope to connect. Avoiding the kicks though, Wall suddenly drops the 2x4 and nails Leon with an elbow strike! And another! Wall then pulls Rodez out of the corner, lifting him onto his shoulder and dropping him with a Snake Eyes. Bouncing off the turnbuckle, Rodez staggers backwards and now, Wall can do his damage with the 2x4, jamming him in the kidneys and nailing him over the back for good measure. Instinctively, Rodez rolls out of the ring... ...just as Colombian Heat is sent the other way by PRL and Vitamin X. COLE This doesn't look good...it's four on one here. The Lightning Crew are going to try and isolate Colombian Heat and use the numbers game, as they do so well. CABOOSE Was that sarcasm? COLE No, disgust. CABOOSE Oh...that's okay then. Vitamin X wastes no time in directing traffic, as PRL pulls Colombian Heat to his feet and lays in some Rock punches. PRL then whips Heat off the ropes, easily hitting a Samoan Drop on the already weakened Mexican and applauding himself for the fact afterwards. X applauds his leader too, while Mr Boricua pulls himself up. COLE Look at this idiot, Vitamin X. Until PRL saved his ass, it was getting handed to him by Heat and now he's in there acting like he's the one doing the ass kicking! Dusting off his hands, PRL gives some signals. Wall takes them and quickly drops a legdrop on Heat, Boricua following up and doing the same. As this is going on, Vitamin X has left the ring and grabbed his kendo stick, laying out a recovering John Brickston before sliding back into the ring and asking for Heat to be picked back up. Boricua and Wall oblige and hold an arm each, keeping Heat in place for X... *THWACK!* ...who lands a shot to the gut... *THWACK!* ...and a second... *THWACK!* ...followed up with a hard shot over the head, which would put Heat down were he not being held up by two of the biggest guys in the OAOAST. “X’S A PUSS-SEE!” *Clap Clap Clapclapclap* “X’S A PUSS-SEE!” *Clap Clap Clapclapclap* “X’S A PUSS-SEE!” *Clap Clap Clapclapclap* “X’S A PUSS-SEE!” *Clap Clap Clapclapclap* The jungle cat laughs up the chants, but suddenly panics as Rodez is back up on the apron. PRL quickly charges PRL off the apron though, doing the same to Spanish Fly as he climbs up... *THWACK!* ...while X splinters the kendo stick over Heat's head! CABOOSE Colombian Heat isn't even gonna make it to AngleMania the way this is going! X is gonna deal with this hack right here and right now! COLE Well of course he is, it's four on one! Wall and Boricua finally release Heat and he weakly collapses to the mat. PRL is ready to go on the attack, but X beats him to it as he makes an eager cover... 1... 2... Kickout! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" Pounding the canvas, X furiously yells at Cuban Wall to get on Heat...which earns him a punch in the jaw, while the REAL leader PRL pulls Heat up. PRL lands a couple more Rock punches, before taking Heat behind the head and running him across the ring, hurling Heat HEAD-FIRST into the trash can in the corner!! Trash shoots up from the dented can and lands over Heat as he groggily settles, much to The Lightning Crew's amusement. Scrambling forward, X quickly pulls Heat away from the ropes and cover... 1... 2... Kickout! VITAMIN X C'MON, COUNT DAMNIT!! 1... 2... Kickout! Giving up, X angrily storms to his feet and grabs the stop sign. Boricua wonders aloud while X doesn't actually stop, as he strides across the ring and wields the sign...but Heat cuts him off with a desperate boot to the gut! And another! X eventually drops the sign and scampers for cover, letting Cuban Wall step in and put the boots to Heat. “X’S A PUSS-SEE!” *Clap Clap Clapclapclap* “X’S A PUSS-SEE!” *Clap Clap Clapclapclap* “X’S A PUSS-SEE!” *Clap Clap Clapclapclap* “X’S A PUSS-SEE!” *Clap Clap Clapclapclap* Wall drags Heat to his feet and backs him into the corner. That means he doesn't see John Brickston's arrival in the ring... *CRACK!* ...but he does HEAR Mr Boricua get PASTED with a steel chair shot! Boricua goes down to his knees as Brickston charges at a frightened Vitamin X, swinging with the chair. X manages to duck though and that allows PRL to catch Brickston with a boot, then plant Brickston with a DDT! COLE Boricua's sure taking a lot of punishment here. CABOOSE He can take it, he's Mr Boricua. PRL snaps back up and it's three on one...until Rodez and Fly suddenly enter the ring and ambush PRL and X respectively! Rodez and Fly unload on PRL and X with right hand, backing them into the ropes before sending them off the other side. Both PRL and X duck clotheslines, both tapping their temples to show how smart they are as they both rebound off the ropes, only to run into stereo standing dropkicks!! PRL is sent out of the ring as a result of his and Rodez quickly follows with a pescado! Meanwhile, Fly catches the dazed X with another dropkick, this one to a shoulder that spine X around and makes him fall across the middle rope. FLY 6 -- 1 -- 9!! COLE He's going for the 619! CABOOSE Duh... Giving the signal, Fly runs to the ropes... *THUD!* ...BUT GETS INTERCEPTED BY A TRASHCAN SHOT FROM CUBAN WALL!!! "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Good Lord! Fly is flattened by the shot, prompting Wall to go for the pin... 1... 2... Kickout!! Disgruntled, Wall picks up Fly and again tosses him out of the ring. Not expecting to turn around and find Colombian Heat's fist flying into his face! Heat quickly hits another punch! And another! Heat then does the DANCE~!, before completing the Shake, Rattle and Roll! Wall staggers but doesn't go down, so Heat follows up with a quick hubcap shot, which DOES KO Wall. Down he goes, as Heat bounces off the ropes and does the SHIMMY~!, before hitting the Shaky Leg Kneedrop! "YYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Oh yeah, Colombian Heat is firing up!! Wall rolls from the ring as Heat looks out to the crowd and does a SHIMMY~! dance. Creeping up behind, Vitamin X has the hubcap now and is ready to take Heat's head off from behind...but is stopped, abruptly, as John Brickston grabs him by the seat of his pants. Around turns Heat and a smirk forms on his face as X freaks out, begging for mercy. X even offers Heat the hubcap back as a peace offering, but Heat swats it away and simply starts to beat the crap out of X with some hard right hands! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE YEAH! GET HIM HEAT!! The crowd cheers loudly as Colombian Heat continues laying into Vitamin X. VX runs around the ring to escape, but Colombian Heat is still beating on him. VX exits the ring, but Colombian Heat is STILL beating him up. COLE Colombian Heat and Vitamin X. These two men will face each other at AngleMania V in four weeks! CABOOSE Colombian Heat has no idea what he’s in for at AngleMania. He’s facing off against the jungle cat! As Colombian Heat and Vitamin X brawl on the outside, the rest of The Lightning Crew and the anti-Lightning Crew are brawling in the ring. Cuban Wall grabs the garbage can that’s been lying in the ring and slams it over Spanish Fly’s head! The crowd groans. Wall then slams the garbage can over Leon Rodez’s head, and John Brickston’s head, the crowd groaning each time. Tha Puerto Rican applauds Wall for the garbage can shots. COLE And now The Lightning Crew is in control of this match. PR does some shaky leg kicks on Rodez. Puerto picks Leon up and nails him with Rock-style punches to the face. Punch. Punch. Punch. Spit. Punch! Leon goes down! PRL picks Leon back up, and scoops him up, giving him a bodyslam HARD onto the mat. The crowd starts buzzing since they know that the bodyslam is the set up for the Corporate Elbowdrop. And true to form, Puerto climbs the top rope, removes his left elbowpad, throws it to the crowd, and then leaps off the top rope, doing the “Up yours!” gesture in mid-air. Unlike at Zero Hour, PRL is able to give Leon Rodez the Corporate Elbowdrop! CABOOSE THAT’S for Zero Hour, bitch! COLE PRL has given Leon Rodez the Corporate Elbowdrop, something he couldn’t do at Zero Hour. While this is going on, Cuban Wall has attacked Colombian Heat from behind with the garbage can. This allows Vitamin X to slide back into the ring. Vitamin X congratulates PRL, and then climbs the top rope himself. The crowd starts booing as Vitamin X stands up on the top rope, scouts the ring, and then leaps off, doing the Leap Of Faith onto Leon Rodez! VITAMIN X BOO-YAH~! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” COACH The Leap Of Faith! The Leap Of Faith on Leon Rodez! COLE Leon has just received TWO back-to-back elbowdrops! Vitamin X covers Leon. 1… 2… John “Rock Hard” Brickston kicks Vitamin X in the head to break up the count! “YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Brickston stomps on Vitamin X. Cuban Wall charges after him, but gets punched in the face! Mr. Boricua charges after him, but also gets punched in the face! PRL goes to charge, but changes his mind and backs off. Brickston goes back to stomping on Vitamin X, causing the crowd to cheer. COLE John Brickston hasn’t forgotten that Vitamin X beat him at Zero Hour! “Rock Hard” picks up Vitamin X and beats on him. VX, severely weakened, stumbles around the ring, with Brickston punching him all over his body. This leads to another giant brawl between the two teams of four. PRL brawls with Spanish Fly. PRL whips Spanish Fly into the opposite turnbuckle—Spanish Fly reverses… AND PRL GETS HIT IN THE HEAD WITH A GARBAGE CAN FROM LEON RODEZ! COLE Well, it’s quite obvious that we’re not having a debate here. COACH Thank you Captain Obvious. CABOOSE When Coach insults you, you should call it a day. Colombian Heat has entered the ring, and has started beating on PRL. Colombian Heat beats on PRL on the ropes, but is saved by Cuban Wall. Wall nails Heat with the CLUBBERIN’~! THEY BE CLUBBERIN’~! forearms of DEATH! CW Irish whips Colombian Heat into the ropes—Heat reverses…and Spanish Fly hits Wall in the gut with the stop sign! Fly hits Wall again with the stop sign, this time on the chest. He then bounces off the ropes, and jumps up, hitting Wall in the face with the stop sign! Wall stumbles, but doesn’t fall…that is until Colombian Heat crawls behind him! Wall trips over Heat! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE Wall is down! Cuban Wall is down! CABOOSE Oh no! You’ve just made him PISSED! Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly high five each other. They both stomp on Cuban Wall. Mr. Boricua hits John Brickston in the head with a garbage can to stop him from beating on Vitamin X. PRL hits Leon Rodez in the head with the stop sign. He drops the stop sign and then starts doing shaky leg kicks on Leon. The crowd chants, “LE-ON! LE-ON! LE-ON! LE-ON!” Vitamin X joins PRL in beating on Leon Rodez. The two LC members whip Leon into the ropes. They follow with a double back elbow! PRL tells VX to hold Leon up. X holds Rodez up. PRL sizes him, and then punches him in the face. Punch. Punch. Punch. Spit. Punch. Leon goes down. THA PUERTO RICAN Yeah! You motherfucker! That’s right! I’m the man! I’m the man! Who’s the man? I’m the man! Yeah! YEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH BOOOOOOOYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHA! *BAM!* COLOMBIAN HEAT KNOCKS PRL DOWN WITH THE STOP SIGN! COLE Whoa! What a shot! The crowd cheers loudly as Heat trash talks his former best friend. PRL is knocked out on the mat. COLE That shot knocked PRL to next week! Colombian Heat bounces off the ropes, doing the “Where The Hood At?” onto PRL! Heat grabs a garbage can and tells John Brickston to throw Vitamin X to him. Brickston whips Vitamin X into Colombian Heat, who knocks him down with the garbage can! While the rest of the men brawl, Colombian Heat picks Puerto Rican up, and whips him into the ropes. However, PRL reverses, and when Heat bounces off the ropes, Puerto grabs him to deliver a SPINEBUSTAH~! COLE Spinebuster on Colombian Heat! Oh no. The crowd cheers as Tha Puerto Rican taunts Heat. With Heat lying in the center of the ring, PRL decides there’s no better time then now…to kick Colombian Heat’s right hand onto his chest. CABOOSE Oh boy! Here we go! COLE I don’t believe this. PRL removes his right elbowpad, spits on it, and then throws it down on Heat’s face. PRL does some weird hand signals, and then bounces off the ropes, jumps over Colombian Heat, and bounces off the opposite ropes. CABOOSE It’s now time for the most electrifying move in professional wrestling, the IntenseZone Elbow! PRL stops to flip off the crowd, and then drops the IntenseZone Elbow on Colombian Heat to a loud pop from the crowd! COLE God damnit. PRL covers Colombian Heat. CABOOSE This match is over! 1… 2… Spanish Fly hits PRL in the back with the garbage can to break up the count! COLE Spanish Fly saves Colombian Heat! COACH Gee, Colombian Heat must suck if he has to be saved by a midget. Spanish Fly beats on Tha Puerto Rican. He does a standing moonsault onto PRL. Fly gets on top of Puerto, and gives him some mounted punches to the temple. Spanish Fly grabs the garbage can and places it on the mat. He picks PRL up, and punches him a few times. He then goes over to the turnbuckle nearest to the garbage can. SF sits on the top rope, and places PR in a facelock. Fly jumps off the top rope, doing a Tornado DDT on Tha Puerto Rican on the garbage can! COLE Tornado DDT! The garbage can now has a giant dent on it! COACH It’s pretty much useless now. CABOOSE Damnit PRL! You can’t let this happen! You can’t let that midget beat you up like that! Damnit! Fly goes to pick up PRL, but Cuban Wall grabs him and clutches his throat! COLE Uh-oh! CABOOSE Yes! Do it! Do it! Do it! Cuban Wall smiles evilly, and then lifts Spanish Fly up, giving him a CHOKESLAM ONTO THE MAT! COLE Chokeslam on Spanish Fly! Chokeslam on the smallest wrestler in this match! The crowd boos loudly. Spanish Fly lies dead on the mat. Wall looks at Fly and gets an idea. He bounces off the ropes, jumps up, and crashes down onto Spanish Fly with The Lightning Crew Splash! COLE The Lightning Crew Splash! The Lightning Crew Splash on Spanish Fly! The crowd boos even louder than before. Spanish Fly is now unconscious on the mat. Cuban Wall laughs maniacally, and then picks Spanish Fly and tosses him over the top rope and onto the floor! COLE Cuban Wall just tossed Spanish Fly out of the ring like he was yesterday’s newspaper! COACH I guess it’s safe to say that Spanish Fly is out of this match then, huh? COLE I guess so. He’s not moving at all. CABOOSE One down. Three to go. With Spanish Fly out, that leaves Leon Rodez’s team at a 4-on-3 disadvantage. Cuban Wall pairs up with John “Rock Hard” Brickston. Mr. Boricua and Vitamin X double-team the weakened Colombian Heat. And “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican slugs it out with Leon Rodez. Boricua picks up Colombian Heat up. Vitamin X starts doing the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle, which causes the crowd to boo loudly. He taunts Heat, and then punches him in the face. He punches him again! And again! VX does the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle. And then punches Heat for a fourth time….but Heat BLOCKS the punch! Heat is once again beating on Vitamin X. Mr. Boricua goes to punch Heat, but Heat punches him! Colombian Heat beats on Vitamin X some more, which causes X to exit the ring. Heat follows him though, and the two men end up walking up the entrance ramp! CABOOSE X! Where are you going? COLE He’s trying to escape from Colombian Heat! COACH No he’s not! He’s saving himself for AngleMania! Colombian Heat just won’t let him! COLE Sure he is. X is obviously afraid of fighting Colombian Heat! COACH Now that’s just nonsense. Vitamin X runs up the entrance ramp onto the entrance stage, with Colombian Heat right behind him. Heat punches VX in the back of the head. VX escapes through the entrance doors, and Colombian Heat follows him. COLE Colombian Heat and Vitamin X are gone! They have the left this match! They’re gone from The Latino Thug Street Fight! CABOOSE That means that it’s Cuban Wall, Mr. Boricua, and Tha Puerto Rican against Leon Rodez and John Brickston! COLE The Lightning Crew has the 3-on-2 advantage now! This has turned into a Handicap Match! The rest of The Lightning Crew hasn’t noticed that Vitamin X has disappeared. Mr. Boricua helps Cuban Wall fight John “Rock Hard” Brickston. Brickston manages to fend off Wall and Boricua to the crowd’s delight! COLE John Brickston is laying into the big men of The Lightning Crew! He is laying into Mr. Boricua AND Cuban Wall! The crowd’s cheers get louder, as Brickston whips Cuban Wall into the ropes, and gives him the Bossman Slam! He then goes over to Mr. Boricua and whips him into the ropes too. He follows with a big boot to the face! Mr. Boricua doesn’t fall, but he does stumble, allowing Brickston to pick Boricua up and place him on his shoulders. The crowd cheers loudly. COLE It could be Killswitch time! Brickston yells at the crowd, and is about to do the Killswitch… *BAM!* When Tha Puerto Rican BLASTS Brickston in the face with the Kendo Stick! The Kendo Stick breaks in half! COLE Oh my! What a shot! What a shot from that Kendo Stick! Brickston gets on his knees. Mr. Boricua shockingly is smart enough to realize that maybe he should go on the attack. And he does, grabbing John “Rock Hard” Brickston and placing him in between his legs. He then lifts “Rock Hard” up, and sends him down to the mat with the Latino Bomb! COLE And now the Latino Bomb! Mr. Boricua just gave the 6’6” 215 pounds John Brickston the Latino Bomb! CABOOSE HA! HA! Way to go Mr. Boricua! Way to go! You should get a snow cone for that! Yahoo! The crowd boos loudly. John “Rock Hard” Brickston lies flat on the mat. He is bleeding from the forehead. Mr. Boricua yells at Brickston, and then grunts, snorts, and cracks his knuckles. Cuban Wall has gotten up, and pats Mr. Boricua on the back for a job well done. Boricua grunts. COLE So that leaves Leon Rodez all by himself against three members of The Lightning Crew! COACH And not just any three, but two big men and the leader of The Lightning Crew! CABOOSE Leon is SO dead! PRL gives Mr. Boricua a thumbs up. He then goes back to beating on Leon Rodez on the turnbuckle. “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” The Corporate Champ heads to the opposite turnbuckle. He charges forward, and gives Leon a Stinger Splash! Leon stumbles out of the turnbuckle, right into a Latin Slam! COLE Latin Slam! Latin Slam on Leon Rodez! The Corporate Champion smiles evilly. The crowd hates it, of course. Leon clutches his back, while Tha Puerto Rican tells Cuban Wall to grab the ladder that’s been on the outside of the ring the whole match. Wall obliges, exiting the ring, grabbing the ladder, and sliding it back into the ring. The crowd buzzes, worried for Leon. COLE Now a ladder is in the ring, and to tell you the truth, this looks like a bad situation for Leon Rodez! CABOOSE Now Tha Puerto Rican is going to lay the smackdown on Leon Rodez’s candy ass, ladder style! Tha Puerto Rican, Mr. Boricua, and Cuban Wall stomp on Leon Rodez to loud boos. COLE It’s a 3-on-1 attack! Spanish Fly is still on the outside, Colombian Heat is nowhere to be found, and John Brickston is on the mat, bleeding. P.R. tells Cuban Wall to set the ladder up. Wall grabs the ladder and places it in between the second and third turnbuckles, so that the top of the ladder is facing their direction. Puerto picks Rodez up, trash talks to him. This gives Leon enough time to punch PRL in the face! He lays into PRL with punches, but is quickly stopped by Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua. After doing some beating on him, Tha Puerto Rican grabs the weakened Leon Rodez and whips him into the turnbuckle where the ladder is located! Leon’s stomach meets the ladder, and obviously, that is not a good thing. COLE That took the wind out of him! Indeed, Leon is out of breath now. He stumbles around the ring, and is met with a kick to the gut, and a Cappa Killa from PRL dropping him to the mat! COLE And now the Cappa Killa! Leon Rodez is out cold! P.R. sneers at Leon and then tells Mr. Boricua to bring the ladder to him. Mr. Boricua pulls the ladder from the turnbuckle and hands it over to PRL. As the crowd chants, “P.R. SUCKS!” P.R. walks over to Leon, who is down on the mat, and holds the ladder over his head. He then SLAMS the ladder onto Leon’s chest again and again! The crowd groans with each shot. COLE Good god! PRL is just MERCILESS with that ladder! It’s like he’s enjoying doing this to Leon Rodez! CABOOSE He is Michael. He hasn’t forgotten about The Lightning Crew parody. He hasn’t forgotten about Leon giving him the People’s Elbow at Zero Hour. He hasn’t forgotten about the humiliation and the embarrassment Leon Rodez has caused him. Tonight Leon is getting just what he deserves! Karma is a bitch, isn’t it Leon? Leon Rodez is now holding his ribs in serious pain. The crowd chants “LE-ON! LE-ON!” PRL mocks them for it. He tells Mr. Boricua and Cuban Wall to pick Leon up. COLE Now what is he going to do? Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua pick up Leon Rodez and hold him up. They both have evil smiles on their faces. Tha Puerto Rican grabs the ladder and readies himself. With Leon in place, PRL charges with the ladder, and just THROWS the ladder onto Leon Rodez’s face! COLE Oh my! CABOOSE HA! HA! HA! Wall and Mr. Boricua let Leon Rodez fall to the mat. It’s obvious he’s knocked out now. PRL laughs evilly. He places the ladder on the mat, and then tells Mr. Boricua and Cuban Wall to pick Leon up again. COLE Are they still not done? Come on now! Leon is out cold! He’s done! Just pin him already and get it over with! COACH That’s not how The Lightning Crew works Cole. You should know by now that they like to make their opponents suffer. COLE I know it, and I hate it! PRL looks on as Mr. Boricua and Cuban Wall pick up the knocked out Leon Rodez. He is now bleeding from the forehead. The crowd once again chants for Leon to make the comeback, but it’s too late. Wall and Boricua hold Leon up so that Tha Puerto Rican can talk trash to him. P.R. slaps Leon in the face. COLE Tha Puerto Rican is making sure Leon Rodez will never forget this night! PRL then kicks Leon in the gut, grabs him in a facelock, grabs his shorts, and jumps up, giving him the CORPORATE NIGHTMARE ON THE LADDER! CROWD *GROAN* COACH YEAH! That’s what I’m talking about! All right! That’s how you do it! WOOOOO! CABOOSE Down goes Rodez! Down goes Rodez! PRL gets up and taunts Leon again. Leon Rodez is now bleeding, unconscious, and has just been given the Corporate Nightmare on a ladder. The crowd boos loudly. COLE Leon Rodez has just been given the Corporate Nightmare. On a ladder no less! Leon Rodez is helpless! He is in a bad bad way. CABOOSE I love it. Tha Puerto Rican covers Leon Rodez. Referee Rudy Charles counts. 1… 2… 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *DING DING DING* (11:04) COLE He did it! He finally did it! CABOOSE Tha Puerto Rican beat Leon Rodez! Say it again! Tha Puerto Rican beat Leon Rodez! I can’t hear you now! Tha Puerto Rican beat Leon Rodez! Tha Puerto Rican gets up and raises his hands in the air. Mr. Boricua and Cuban Wall applaud PRL for his win. The crowd boos. BUFFER Here are your winners…THE LIGHTNINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG CRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! “No Chance In Hell” by Bradley Royds starts up again. PRL laughs manically, filled with joy over his victory. He hugs Mr. Boricua and Cuban Wall while the crowd boos. Leon Rodez, John “Rock Hard” Brickston, and Spanish Fly are all still knocked out. Leon and Brickston are still bleeding. COLE Well, Tha Puerto Rican has finally done it. He pinned Leon Rodez 1-2-3 in the ring to gain a victory for The Lightning Crew in this Latino Thug Street Fight. CABOOSE Yes! That oughta shut Leon Rodez up now. PRL holds a victory over Leon, where as Leon Rodez has NEVER beaten Tha Puerto Rican! How do you like them apples? COLE Well, to be fair, PRL needed help from The Lightning Crew and a ladder to beat Leon. It’s not like he beat him in a fair fight. CABOOSE But this was a Latino Thug Street Fight, doofus! It’s not supposed to BE a fair fight! Look, the important thing is that The Lightning Crew defeated the four scrubs, and it was all thanks to PRL pinning Leon Rodez! “No Chance In Hell” continues playing as Tha Puerto Rican, Cuban Wall, and Mr. Boricua gloat over their victory. Leon Rodez is still bleeding. Rudy Charles hands PRL his custom made spinner 24/7 Championship belt. PRL spins the belt plate, and then raises the belt over his head. The crowd boos loudly. CABOOSE That’s something Leon Rodez will never have, the 24/7 Title! COLE Only time will tell, Caboose. I get the feeling that Leon Rodez isn’t going to take his lost lying down. He maybe bleeding, he maybe in pain, but he is not done yet with Tha Puerto Rican. CABOOSE After the asskicking he took from PRL, he should just go and retire from professional wrestling. PRL goes over to Leon, and does the “You can’t see me!” hand gesture in his face. He then spins the belt plate just cuz. Cuban Wall kicks Leon in the stomach. The three Lightning Crew members leave the ring. PRL puts his spinner 24/7 Championship belt over his left shoulder and smiles evilly. He looks at Leon and gives him the Corporate Eyebrow, then laughs manically. Tha Puerto Rican, Cuban Wall, and Mr. Boricua walk up the entrance ramp. Spanish Fly is starting to get up now. John “Rock Hard” Brickston is starting to show sings of life also. COLE The Lightning Crew has won this Latino Thug Street Fight, but the war between The Lightning Crew and the former members of The Lightning Crew and Leon Rodez is far from over! What will happen next in this fierce and personal feud? Time will tell. “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican raises his spinner 24/7 Championship belt over his head on the entrance ramp. He talks trash to Leon Rodez, even though Leon can’t hear him. The crowd boos loudly. PRL sneers at Leon, and then laughs manically again. Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua gleam evilly. The camera cuts to Leon Rodez, who is still knocked out in the ring, bleeding profusely as “No Chance In Hell” by Bradley Royds ends. Rudy Charles checks on Leon. COLE Our main event is next. Hoff returns to action against Tony Brannigan in a street fight! Stay tuned! Exclamation point! Commercial break........! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted March 10, 2006 By the magic of television technology, we're taken backstage to where The Silky Smooth One, Leon Rodez, is currently in the trainer's room getting checked over after the brutal Latino Thug Street Fight. The trainer, who'll simply be called 'Al' for the purposes of glossing over him, finishes wrapping a length of tape around Rodez's ribs as he sits on the trainer's bench. Rodez grimaces as the tape is put in place, breathing out for the first time in an excruciating half a minute or so. TRAINER That should tide you up until you get to the hospital. I don't think there's anything broken, but it's better to be safe than sorry. RODEZ You don't need to tell me that. Ex-pornstar, remember? The trainer, used to WACKY GIMMICKS THAT GO NOWHERE~!, simply nods. As he does, Leon glances up at the camera that's jammed in his face as he takes a pained breath. RODEZ Latino Thug Street Fight. I guess the clue was in the name. You know, in a way, I'd have been surprised if this hadn't happened. Maybe I'd even have been disappointed in you, PRL, if you hadn't reacted to me and my newfound friends' little mock-up the way you did. It took you a week, but you got me. So, congratulations, PRL. Congratulations. You got what you wanted. Me, sitting here with my ribs taped up, hurt and beaten. But you didn't do it alone. And that, PRL, should be playing on your mind right now. The mighty 24/7 Champion of the OAOAST managed to put his closest rival out of commission briefly...and, trust me, it will be briefly...in a six man tag team match. Rodez takes a moment to favour his ribs. RODEZ I still stand by what I said last week PRL. People said, in the run-up to Zero Hour, that we were alike. I was being comparing to Tha Puerto Rican. In your warped little world, that might be considered a compliment. Not to me. See, you and I are similiar, but we are far from the same. Far from alike. Where-as I like to have a joke, simply put, you are a joke. The very fact you're still holding the OAOAST 24/7 Championship still remains the biggest joke in all of this. How that belt is still your property is beyond me. I've heard of people beating the odds before. Everybody loves the underdog, the feelgood story. PRL, you take that to whole new levels. Nevermined retaining the 24/7 Championship against great opponents, overcoming great challenges...PRL, you're a freaking walking miracle! I mean, John Brickston made you tapout in the middle of the ring and you STILL managed to retain the 24/7 Title. That's really something. At Zero Hour, I pinned you in that ring and you STILL retained that championship. And last week, you ran with your tail between your legs...another successful title defence. Even sitting here with my ribs aching like never before, my breathe severely hampered...only one thing goes through my mind. If you think that I'm done with you and the 24/7 Championship, PRL, you are mistaken. Very much mistaken. Everyone knows that I deserve another shot after what happened at Zero Hour. To be honest though, until now, there's been another thought clouding that. Why bother? I mean, what's the point of facing PRL for the title? There's always a cheap way out, a backdoor to escape through, a loophole to overcome. If only...if ONLY there were some way I could guarantee a fair shot. A match where the outcome is clear cut, black or white. No grey areas. No middle ground. One man wins, one man loses and that's that. If ONLY there was a way. Well, as it happens, you've gave me that way PR. Smiling now, Rodez sits himself up a little more. RODEZ They say those who live by the sword, ultimately die by the sword. Now, I somehow doubt Axel or the OAOAST Board Of Directors will grant me a Sword On A Pole Match, so it's lucky I have a Plan B. So, here's the deal. AngleMania is three weeks away. And that of course means...GIMMICK MATCHES! GIMMICK MATCHES GALORE!! And I have the perfect one in mind. Consider this a challenge, my Puerto Rican friend. You. Me. April 2nd 2006. Trump Plaza Hotel and Casino. AngleMania V. 'The Most Luxurious AngleMania Ever'. Bring your girl, bring your Crew. Bring your belt. Bring your eyebrows, your elbowpads, your bandanas...Oh, and why not bring that Ladder with you too? *dramatic pause* RODEZ We'll hang that 24/7 Title from the roof of the Trump Plaza and it'll be a black and white issue, PRL. Either, you win, or you lose. You retain the title, or you don't. No pinfalls. No submissions. No DQs, Count Outs, Time Limits. Nowhere to run. Nowhere to hide. No reverse finishes. No cheapshots. No fluke rollups. Either you climb the ladder and grab your title...or, I do and your precious 24/7 Championship reign is done! Rodez stands up. RODEZ Tha Puerto Rican versus Leon Rodez. The P.R Menace versus The New-Age Love Machine. The wannabee Great One versus The Silky Smooth One. You. Me. Ladder Match, at AngleMania. How's about it, PR? *COMMERCIAL~!* We return from our final commerical break with TONY BRANNIGAN already in the ring, shirtless, his fists taped, and looking sharpe in kaki pants. * DING * DING * DING * BUFFER LLLLadies and gentlemen, this is our HeldDOWN~! main event of the eve-- Tony RIPS the microphone out of Buffer's hand. TONY Cut the pomp and circumstance! Hoff, get your ass out here now! Show me the passion you say you have. Just you, me, and 18,000 people who will see you get your ass kicked! You took your ball and went home once already, this time I'LL BE TAKING YOUR BALLS and sending you home permanently! COACH You know, Brannigan may be an Orginal, and as a representive of The Upstarts, we hate all Originals, but I thought Tony Brannigan was supposed to have the most class out of the bunch. And who wears kaki pants to a street fight?! CABOOSE You don't think Tony actually wears his tights on the streets, do you? COACH Well, no. I can understand going to a street fight in a shirt and jeans, but kaki pants -- no way. COLE That was our last break, ladies and gentlemen, we'll be staying with this the rest of the way. We're currently awaiting the arrival of Hoff. We know he's here somewhere. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" The fans rise as one as they stare in the direction HOFF is entering from. No security around him whatsoever, Hoff maneuvers his way through the crowd, not at all timid to shove those blocking his path to the ring, including a fan who sticks an "OFF WITH HOFF" sign in his face. Hoff, in a plain black t-shirt and jeans, climbs over the guardrail and locks eyes with Tony. COLE Moments away from perhaps the biggest main event in HeldDOWN~! history. The expression has been used before, I know, but it's not about titles tonight, ladies and gentlemen, it's about pride. Hoff gave up the richest prize in all of wrestling, the OAOAST Championship -- a title held by such greats as Anglesault, Zack Malibu, Tony Brannigan, and my broadcast partner Caboose -- because his ego wasn't fed to his liking. Hoff's game ends tonight. Tony Brannigan has called his bluff. Let's see what Hoff delivers. We all know what Tony Brannigan is going to deliver. CABOOSE Look at this. Hoff acting like a primadonna again, asking the referee to keep Tony back so he can enter the ring. Act like a man for a change. Just go in there. COACH You Originals are one in the same. Obviously none of you have ever heard of a little something called professional courtesy. COLE What Hoff did when he left was unprofessional. COACH This is why The Upstarts are running the show. We know how to put the past behind us. Caboose scoffs as Hoff paces outside, working the crowd into a frenzy with his stalling tatic. Senior offical Earl Hebner comes over to have a word with Hoff, sticking his head between the ropes to find out what the problem is. The camera microphones pick up Hoff reinerating his request for Earl to keep Tony back so he can enter the ring. As the two continue to talk things over, Tony has enough, leaping over Hebner and hitting Hoff with a PLANCHA! COLE The last thing anybody expected from Tony. A plancha! Wow! Brannigan holds onto the guardrail with his right hand as he puts the boots to Hoff, stomping him repeatedly in the heart. Then with complete disregard for Hoff's body, but to the delight of the fans, Tony hurls Hoff into the guardrail, his back scraping the cold, rusty steel rails. Hoff nearly trips over his own two feet as he's brought back up, but recovers fast enough to reverse an Irish whip from Tony, who crashes into the 10,000 POUND STEEL STEPS ringside! His opponent slumped over the steps, Hoff grabs Tony by the hair and viciously slams his face into the steps. Hoff toys with Brannigan, kicking him around in the head before getting serious, picking him off the floor and sending the multi-time tag team champion into the ringpost...but Tony blocks it with his right hand, and uses his free arm to deliver a series of elbow strikes to the ribs, capping it off by posting Hoff! COACH If the early going of the match is any indication, this is gonna get real ugly. Fortunately for Hoff, he was able to take the blunt of the blow on the shoulder rather than the head. Hoff rolls inside the ring, the stars still hovering overhead, yet he's able to greet Brannigan sliding on the way in with kicks to the back of the head. He brings Tony up to his feet and rocks the former World Champion with a fury of rights to the jaw. Tony quickly turns things around, putting Hoff on the defensive as he tosses him in the corner and wails away! "YEEEEAAAAHHHHHHHH!" COLE The fans loving what they're seeing, as I'm sure Dan Black is watching in the back. This is a street fight, ladies and gentlemen. You won't see any take-- Hoff with a double-leg takedown. The two former World Champions roll around the ring, each peppering the other with closed fists, until they reach the ropes, where Tony pushes down on the bottom rope to CHOKE Hoff, who responds by GOUGING THE EYES. Brannigan gets up, his back facing Hoff, momentarily blinded. Hoff walks over and thrusts Tony between the middle and top turnbuckles, ramming his shoulder into the ringpost! Tony staggers out of the corner and is driven face-first into the canvas, his face rubbed into the mat insultantly afterwards. Hoff returns to his feet, flicking the sweat on his forehead down onto Tony, much like Brannigan does to his opponents. Hoff measures Tony and kicks him in the ribcage with such force it flips him over near the ropes. As Hoff nears, the wily veteran grabs the top of his jeans and tosses Hoff to the arena floor. He rolls out on the apron and dives off, connecting with a forearm smash to the back of the neck, sending Hoff tumbling over the guardrail and onto some of the fans seated ringside, one of whom looks a lot like Stephen Joseph. Wait a minute. It is STEPHEN JOSEPH! "YEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!" COACH What's he doing here? COLE Throwing a cup of beer on Hoff, that's what! Indeed he does. And for that, arena security escort Mr. Joseph out of the building. The former OAOAST Champion throws his hands up in the air and leaves peacefully, as another former World Champion is back in the driver's seat. Tony shoots Hoff into the guardrail, following him in and driving the forearm into the midsection. Doubled over, Hoff is shoved to the ground, as Tony walks over to the timekeeper's table and grabs ring announcer Michael Buffer's STEEL CHAIR! "YEEEEAAAAHHHHHHHH!" Tony waits for Hoff to get up, his back towards him and... * BOOM * ...unleashes a devastating chairshot that sends Hoff stumbling into the ringpost. His body sweaty from the intense action, Hoff sticks to the post, breathing heavily. Brannigan holds the chair up, which gets a pop, and swings for Hoff's head... * CLANK * ...but Hoff moves out of the way, the reverberation from the chair striking the post causing Tony to drop the object, leaving Hoff open to SPEAR TONY INTO THE STEEL STEPS! COLE Crashing into 10,000 pounds of steel did Tony. Oh, my! COACH I can honestly say I have truly never been apart of anything so wild. Well, I have, but this has lived up to everything it was billed as. Nothing more than a fight. CABOOSE Hoff knew what he was doing when he challenged Tony to a street fight. He knew he wasn't in ring shape, so a street fight allows him to hide the rust anybody would have from not wrestling on a regular basis. His body aching, Hoff slowly picks the chair back up, lifting it overhead...only to have Tony pull Hoff forward and send him crashing into the ringpost! Hoff's head bounces off the chair, which he smacks into when he instinctively put his hands up to prevent himself from going into the post face-first. He and Tony remain down as the fatigue is noticably setting in on both. Tony takes a deep breath before picking up the TIMERKEEPER'S TABLE and SLAMMING it down over Hoff's back! COLE Tony Brannigan with the first pin of the match! ONE... TWO... KICKOUT! Tony tosses Hoff back inside the ring, not knowing Hoff grabbed the RING BELL as he was brought back to his feet. As Tony steps through the ropes... * DING * ...Hoff rings his bell, knocking Tony out on the apron. Brannigan managed to absorb most of the blow by putting his hand up, but the edge of the bell stuck him in the temple. Hoff tries pulling Tony inside the ring, but it's nothing more than dead weight at this point. So Hoff lets Tony straddle between the ropes as he goes up to the middle turnbuckle and drives the knee into the back of Tony's head, spiking him head-first into the mat! COACH That did it right there. COLE You may be right. Tony is out cold. ONE... TWO... THREE! NO! The ROAR of the crowd causes the hard camera to shake, as Tony Brannigan kicks out. Hoff can't believe it. He grabs Earl Hebner by the shirt collar, his fists cocked, but Earl defiantly points to the stripes on his shirt, telling Hoff he'll send him right out of here if he physcially attacks him. Hoff shoves Earl away to re-focus his attention back on Tony. Hoff drops the knee right down on Brannigan's groin, popping right up afterwards to remove the BELT from around his waist, and begins WHIPPING! Brannigan is helpless as he's still reeling from the low blow, taking his licks curled in a fetal position. Hoff stands over Tony, slapping him around before violently slapping the belt across Brannigan's face, saying "There's my passion!" COLE Oh, my! What brutality! COACH Hoff said it -- there's his passion. Tony Brannigan wanted it, he's getting it...in his face. Hoff wraps the belt around Tony's neck and HANGS HIM OVER THE TOP ROPE!!! Earl Hebner pleds with Hoff to let Tony go, his eyes beginning to budge out of his eyes, saliva spewing out of his mouth, but Hoff still holds on. COLE DAMN YOU, YOU BASTARD! This is over the line! That son-of-a-bitch is trying to choke the life out of Tony Brannigan! "YEEEEEEAAAHHH!" DAN BLACK arrives, branishing a STEEL CHAIR. * BOOM * That causes Hoff to let go. Hoff falls straight back to the mat, while Tony goes to the floor. The crowd EXPLODES as Dan Black abuses Hoff with the chair, bashing and jabbing it across the former champion's back. Having cooled down just a bit, "The Ice Heart" throws his blazer in the crowd and loosens his tie as Tony Brannigan returns to the ring, Hoff's belt still wrapped around his neck. Tony removes the belt as Black does the same, removing the belt around his waist. Doing what any good referee would do, Earl Hebner tries to put an end to the mayhem...and eats a punch from both Dan Black and Tony Brannigan, who then proceed to put the leather to Hoff! "YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" COLE Whip him, guys! Hoff, that big baby, getting what he's deserved for a long time. CABOOSE Welcome back to the OAOAST, Hoff, you wanker! Tony wraps the belt around Hoff's neck and gives him a RUDE AWAKENING! He points to Dan, who gives the throat slash. Black steps out on the apron and climbs the turnbuckles. TOP ROPE DIVING HEADBUTT! "3-B!" "3-B!" "3-B!" Hoff laid out dead in the middle of the ring, Black T play up to the chanting crowd. CABOOSE The fans want to see it. Give it to them. COLE Ask and you shall receive. 3-B, Black Body Bag, coming right up! "3-BEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" As Black T prepare to hoist Hoff into the air for the 3-B, they suddenly hear a booming voice coming from the AngleTron at the top of the ramp. “Hey Tony! Look this way!” With a confused glance, Tony Brannigan averts his eyes around the ringside area, trying to uncover where this voice is coming from. Upon realizing he is hearing someone on the AngleTron, he releases his grip on Hoff’s neck and lets him collapse to the mat. He focuses his attention on the screen, but all he can see is the close-up shot of a black wifebeater. “You too, Dan! Just as cautiously as Tony, Dan Black slowly turns his eyes towards the AngleTron, completely taking his attention away from Hoff. “You two with me? Hope so!” The person blocking the video camera takes a huge step back, giving the fans a clearer shot but not quite giving away his identity. The cameraman gradually starts to raise his view, moving past the chest. The shoulders. The neck. Until he finally moves to the face… …and reveals a grinning Hoff much to the surprise of the crowd! CABOOSE What in the hell?! COLE I….I don’t understand this! Tony and Dan quickly look down to reassure that Hoff is still in the ring and, sure enough, he is. Just as speedily, they turn their attention back towards the AngleTron and the beaming smile from Hoff. HOFF Now, now. Calm down. The both of you….take deep breaths. Hoff takes a few seconds to laugh quietly to himself as Black T continue to look up at the screen. HOFF First off, I just want to make it clear to the both of you that this is not a trick. The guy I’m going to guess you have been beating up for the past few minutes is undoubtedly me. I decided to cut this interview only minutes before I was to step out into the ring, so what you’re watching right now is simply a recording. COLE ….a recording? COACH Keep listening, Cole. HOFF You see, I’m not a stupid guy. I didn’t win the OAOAST Heavyweight Title twice by walking around here like a dumb ox. I knew exactly what was going to happen as soon as I challenged Tony to this street-fight last week. Dan, I knew you wouldn’t be able to help yourself from interfering. Even though Tony and I agreed to keep this between the two of us, I knew the temptation of you providing help would just be too strong. I am 100 percent positive that, right now, you’re standing into the ring next to Tony wondering what the hell is going on. Brannigan and Black shoot each other wary glances for a second but continue to watch the screen. HOFF Okay. So my point is that I knew Black was going to interfere, and I knew that with the hatred you two have for me, there was a very distinct possibility of my career being ended tonight. So….I took out an insurance policy. Just in case. I knew there was NO WAY I was stepping into the FedEx Forum tonight without at least having the odds evened. And what do you know? It turned out I was right! Good thing for me that I didn’t waste a phone call on flying this guy out into Memphis to have my back, huh? COLE Hoff flew somebody here? Into Memphis?! CABOOSE I don’t like where this is going. HOFF So let me cut to the chase. Without further ado, let me introduce you two to my partner in crime. You thought you could try to trick me and take me out of the OAOAST permanently? Well, I guess Hoff was just one step ahead of you. Again. Turn out the lights. Immediately upon Hoff’s request, the entire FedEx Forum turns black as the lights are turned off and the video is taken off the AngleTron. Seconds of silence tick by as the fans loudly begin to buzz with anticipation. Until the faint musical strains of an organ can be heard. A golden spotlight appears over the top of the entranceway as the notes from the organ continue to play. Then a low beat of drums begins to echo from the loudspeakers. At the same time, the golden spotlight begins to pulse with quick flashes. After a few seconds, the base of the song gets considerably deeper. Suddenly a number of fans start to cheer loudly, coming to a conclusion that not everybody else has reached yet. COLE That music sounds so familiar! CABOOSE Don’t you know why?! COACH ….I’m starting to get the idea. CABOOSE This…this can’t be who I think it is. There’s no way. …. Oh, but it is. …. A huge burst of silver fireworks shoots into the sky from the top of the ramp as the song suddenly reaches its opening line. Woke up this morning… A DEAFENING roar rises up from the fans in attendance as they suddenly figure out who is coming out to defend Hoff. Got myself a gun…. Mama always said I’d be… The chosen one! COLE IT CAN’T BE! COACH OH PLEASE TELL ME IT IS! She said I’m one in a million… I’ve got to burn to shine…. But I was born under a bad sign… With a blue moon in my eyes! The crowd amazingly starts to sing along with the song as it continues to play. I woke up this morning… All the love was gone… My papa never told me… About right and wrong. CABOOSE HE BETTER NOT THINK ABOUT STEPPING FOOT BACK INTO THAT RING AGAIN! But I’m looking good, baby… I believe you’re feeling fine… Born under a bad sign… With a blue moon in my eyes! As the beat of the song starts to truly pick up and the lead singer’s voice starts to get louder, none other than DREK STONE steps out of the curtains to a RAUCOUS cheer! COLE OH MY GOD! IT’S DREK STONE! COACH I CAN’T BELIEVE IT! The noise continues to thunder as Drek Stone steps to the top of the ramp for a few moments with his hands on his hips, staring into the ring at Black T who are clearly furious at seeing this man make his return into the OAOAST. COLE It’s been SEVEN MONTHS since we’ve even SEEN Drek Stone on OAOAST programming! Now he’s suddenly shown up here tonight completely unannounced! CABOOSE How DARE HE try to crawl back into a company that he chose to walk out on! He’s a piece of garbage! COACH Say whatever the hell you want, Caboose! But these fans are beyond excited to see him and so am I! I woke up this morning… The world turned upside down… Things ain’t been the same… Since the blues walked into town. Drek slowly starts to walk towards ringside with a pleased grin on his face. It’s clear to everyone watching that he’s incredibly pleased with being so warmly accepted in his return. However, neither Tony Brannigan or Dan Black has allowed themselves to divert their attention away from the man that chose to spit on the legacy of a federation they have worked so hard to keep afloat. But I’m one in a million… I got that shotgun shine… Born under a bad sign… With a blue moon in my eyes. Once Drek gets to the bottom of the ramp, he stops his march and locks eyes with the two men staring daggers at him in the center of the ring. His music stops playing as the fans start to loudly buzz at the prospect of Drek Stone possibly rushing into the ring to take on the legendary tag team. CABOOSE So Drek, you want to make your huge return, do you? Step into that ring and see what happens to TRAITORS! Clearly, the fans are dying to see Drek Stone do the exact same thing Caboose suggested. With a deep breath, Drek takes a large step towards the ring, which sends the fans into a frenzy! COLE Wait, what about Hoff?! Sure enough, just as Michael Cole mentions his name, Hoff bounces to his feet and charges forward, knocking Dan Black over the top rope to the arena floor! “OHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!” As Dan Black falls to Drek Stone’s feet, Tony turns around and starts bouncing hard lefts and rights off Hoff’s head. Meanwhile, on the outside, Drek stares down at the fallen body of Black. He runs his hand through his hair for a moment, almost as if pondering what he should do here. COLE What is Drek Stone going to do?! A scowl suddenly crosses Drek Stone’s face without warning, surprising a fair number of fans in attendance. He shoots an arm downward and grabs a huge handful of Dan Black’s head. Boos start to rise up from the crowd as Drek harshly attempts to yank Black up to his feet. COACH YES! DO IT! DO IT! CABOOSE This is sickening! Once he forces Black up to his feet, Drek grabs his head and places it in a front-facelock position. COACH SEVEN MONTHS, WE’VE GONE WITHOUT THIS! AND NOW WE’RE ABOUT TO SEE IT AGAIN! IT’S… COLE THE STONECUTTER! Sure enough, Drek jumps in the air….and SPIKES Dan Black’s head into the concrete with the StoneCutter! The reaction from the crowd in the FedEx Forum suddenly becomes more mixed with a rowdy combination of cheers and boos! “LET’S GO DREK STONE!” “DREK STONE SUCKS!” “LET’S GO DREK STONE!” “DREK STONE SUCKS!” Meanwhile, in the ring, Tony has Hoff cornered against the turnbuckle and continues to hit him with massive forearms to the head. As Hoff tries to sit down against the corner and cover himself up, Tony keeps the offensive onslaught strong. He fires off dozens of forearms until Hoff is left a quivering mess in the corner, which sends the fans into another frenzy. “T-BOD!” “T-BOD!” “T-BOD!” Satisfied with his progress, Tony walks off to the other side of the ring. With Hoff helpless in the corner, Brannigan is free to do anything he wants. And that he will. With a primal yell, he CHARGES towards Hoff sitting against the turnbuckle… *CLANG* …AND IS SMACKED IN THE HEAD WITH A CHAIRSHOT FROM DREK STONE! COLE Oh my God! Drek Stone just came out of nowhere with that steel chair! COACH He really clobbered T-Bod! What a shot! Tony Brannigan collapses to the mat instantly holding his head as Drek stares at him defiantly with the steel chair in his hand. Once again, the reaction is mixed to the carnage taking place. Meanwhile, Hoff uses the ring ropes to struggle and pull himself up in the corner. Trying to catch his breath, he sits on the top turnbuckle, placing his feet on the middle rope. CABOOSE I can’t believe this street fight has turned out like this. COACH Tony thought he had the odds working for him with Dan Black by his side! But if he learned ONE SINGLE THING in his stint with the OAOAST, it should have been to NEVER take things for granted! Much like he did with Dan Black earlier, Drek grabs a handful of Tony’s hair and forces him up to his feet. However, this time he has a different plan in mind. He quickly places Brannigan’s head in a standing headscissors position and lifts him up for a powerbomb. COLE Is this going to end it?! Drek holds Tony up in the air for a few seconds as the fans in Memphis starts to scream. However, he chooses not to throw Tony against the mat. Instead, he stumbles backwards towards Hoff who is now standing on the middle rope. Hoff immediately catches T-Bod and lifts him up in a bearhug position. COLE Uh-oh! The crowd into the FedEx Forum begins to loudly yell as Hoff stands on the middle turnbuckle with T-Bod firmly in his grasp. With Drek staring on with a grin on his face, Hoff JUMPS UP IN THE AIR – -- AND SLAMS T-BOD INTO THE MAT WITH AN AMAZING SPINEBUSTER! COACH OH SNAP~! COLE NO! HE MAY HAVE JUST BROKEN TONY BRANNIGAN IN HALF! At this point, all Hoff has to do is roll over and hook the leg. ONNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEE~!~! TWWWWWWOOOOOOOO~!~! THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE~!~! *DING DING DING* A collective roar immediately rises up from the crowd as the bell rings. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of this street fight…..HOFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!! The huge mixed reaction for these two superstars continues as “Black” starts to blast over the loudspeakers. COLE Can you BELIEVE what we have just witnessed here tonight? CABOOSE This is disgusting! This is god damn disgusting! I would have been happy never even SEEING these two again….and now they both just took out the most powerful tag team the OAOAST has ever seen! Sickening! With a wide smile, Drek Stone hops onto the middle turnbuckle and raises his arms in the air. The fans greet him with an equal number of cheers and jeers as he cockily shrugs and jumps back onto the mat. Waiting to confront him face-to-face is none other than Hoff! COLE Maybe this relationship isn’t as strong as we first thought! The two superstars immediately engage in a tight staredown. There is such a history between these two men. The wars that have been fought. The blood that has been shed. The titles that have been contested for. Hoff and Drek Stone have had one of the most competitive rivalries the OAOAST has ever known. And now they’re hugging! Hugging! COACH This is BEAUTIFUL! Hoff and Drek Stone are hugging in the center of the ring! COLE I never thought I would ever see something like this! Not in my WILDEST dreams! The reaction in the arena gets louder as Drek Stone and Hoff congratulate each other and raise one another’s arms victoriously. COACH This is it, Cole! Look at it, Boose! Feast your eyes on the most powerful tandem the OAOAST has ever seen! Drek Stone and Hoff! Dan Black is passed out on the arena floor. Tony Brannigan is unconscious in the center of the ring. And Drek Stone and Hoff, bitter enemies from their beginning days in the OAOAST, are congratulating each other on a job well done. The road to AngleMania is a bumpy one indeed. Fade to black. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted March 10, 2006 CREDITS: King Cucaracha Tony149 Alfdogg KingPK Ed Wood Caulfield Masked Man of Mystery Patty O'Green CandyColoredBlues Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
