KingPK 0 Report post Posted March 24, 2006 (edited) *EARLIER TODAY* Fade in on OAOAST World Champion Peter Knight walking through a hallway, bag slung over one shoulder and title belt over the other. He has a small bandage on his forehead, courtesy of an Alfdogg chairshot last week which explains the grumpy look on his face. Suddenly, Josh Matthews pops into view. J-MATH PK, any comments about last week? Knight keeps walking and ignores Matthews, but Josh didn't get an A in Backstage Interviewing 101 by not being persistent. J-MATH Who will you be facing for the title tonight? Will you get involved in Alfdogg's match against Reject tonight? Knight comes to a stop and turns towards Matthews with a look that immediately makes Josh wonder if the Colonel is hiring. KNIGHT Go.....away. Knight resumes his walk, a very brave cameraman staying in stride until Knight reaches a door marked "General Manager's Office" and rips it open, slamming it behind him so hard that it winds up staying open a little bit. Josh notices this and kneels down next to it, sticking his mic-holding hand through the crack and into the room. The voices are a bit distorted, but captions helpfully scroll on the bottom of the screen. KNIGHT .....need to hurt someone tonight. Screw this "worthy challenger" bullshit, I just want to beat someone's head in. AXEL I'm right with you, PK. Alf's gotta learn that he can't just use his little steel chair to get his shots in and then run off without someone paying a price for it. Tonight, you will defend your title against Alf's little buddy Thunderkid. And, like last week to make sure we get the right result, I will be the special referee. Also, Alf is barred from ringside. I don't need him getting in our way again. KNIGHT Tonight I'm sending a message to Alf and at AngleMania, I'm finishing his career once and for all. AXEL Hey, what's that over at the door? J-MATH Oh, poopie. See ya. Josh quickly stands and gets the hell out of Dodge, leaving the cameraman as Knight rips the door open again. He looks left and right before staring right into the camera, the view shaking a little bit as the cameraman is about ready to wet himself. Knight simply grunts at the cameraman and slams the door once again, this time making sure it is closed. We fade out on the closed door. This week we are live from the whitest and most Mormon-y town in America, Salt Lake City, Utah. They put on a damn fine Olympics, though. Into the arena filled with (what else?) thousands of screaming fans. Over to Sofa Central and your hosts. COLE Welcome to HeldDOWN!! We are only TEN days away from the biggest event on the OAOAST's calendar and guys, things are REALLY heating up. COACH It certainly is for Alfdogg, as his attempt to put one over on our champion and esteemed General Manager last week is going to get his buddy killed tonight. 'Course, he's got enough on his hands with the great up and comer Reject. CABOOSE Doing some recruiting, Coach? COACH We don't need to recruit; everyone knows the Upstarts are the future of this company, so they come on their own free will. COLE Also tonight, we've got words from many AngleMania participants. Lots and lots of words. COACH But the words that I, and I think a lot of people around here are waiting for are those from one Drek Stone. He's got a lot to say about Zack Malibu and I don't think it is all good. CABOOSE Ah forget that ballwasher. What I'm waiting for is a special "PR Appreciation Night"! I think I'm gonna need some Kleenex later on. COACH To wipe your eyes or something else? COLE Err....let's kick things off with our first match, shall we? Renegade hits and Reject comes through the curtains to the boos of the crowd. COACH Reject's been waiting for this match for a long time, Cole! BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Making his way down the aisle, from NEW YORK CITY, weighing in at 235 pounds...RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREJECT!!!!! COLE And Reject has signed to meet his former partner, Thunderkid, at AngleMania V, but here tonight, he'll meet another former associate, the #1 contender, Alfdogg! Magnum Opus: Father Padilla Meets the Perfect Gnat/Howling at the Moon hits and Alfdogg comes through the curtains to a huge pop. BUFFER His opponent, weighing in at 240 pounds...he is a former OAOAST Heavyweight champion of the WORLD...ALFDOGG!!!!! Alf slides into the ring and raises his arms in the corner, then quickly jumps down as Reject approaches him, causing Reject to back off. The music cuts out, and the bell rings. *DING DING DING* Alf circles the ring with Reject, and Reject grabs a side headlock. Alf backs Reject into the ropes, then shoves him off. Reject comes off the ropes, ducks a clothesline, and knocks Alf to the mat with a NICE looking dropkick! COACH YEAH! Way to go, baby! Reject celebrates his feat, much to the chagrin of the crowd. Alf slowly gets to his feet in a corner, then comes out and circles the ring once again. Reject goes in for the tie-up, but Alf takes him over with an armdrag! Reject quick to his feet, but Alf hits a dropkick of his own, and Reject rolls to the floor! Reject kicks the steel steps in frustration. COLE But Alf quick to respond, and Reject really frustrated! CABOOSE Well, Reject can't leet himself get flustered, because that's when Alf really has you right where he wants you. Reject slides back into the ring, and slaps Alf across the face! COACH Whoa, well maybe Reject's trying to give Alf a little taste of his own medicine here, then! Alf responds by sending a wad of spit into the face of Reject! Reject wipes his face, then charges Alf, who catches Reject in another armdrag! Reject charges again, and gets caught in a drop toe hold! Alf spins around and stands so that his feet are at Reject's face, then when Reject gets up, he delivers a slap of his own! Reject simply walks back to his corner, extremely frustrated. COLE And Alf REALLY getting into Reject's head now! COACH Well, Reject's being smarter about it this time, though, he's taking a little walk, trying to cool himself down here! Reject comes out of the corner, and grabs Alf in a rear waistlock. Alf tries to wrestle out of it, then reaches down and trips Reject up. Reject shoves Alf into the ropes with the free leg, then rolls to his stomach. Alf hops over, then Reject rolls over again to attempt a reverse monkey flip...but Alf holds on to the ropes, and drops a fist on Reject! CABOOSE Alf saw that one coming a mile away! Alf follows up with a T-Bone suplex! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Reject quickly scoots into a corner, and Alf follows. The referee backs off Alf, and as he does, Reject pulls a razor blade out of his kneepad. COLE What's he going to do with that? Reject starts sawing away at the rope tying the top turnbuckle pad into the corner, and throws the pad and blade to the floor. He stands up in the corner, and holds his hands out at Alf. When Alf comes in, Reject thumbs him in the eye. Alf staggers backwards, and Reject comes out of the corner with a spinning wheel kick! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! COLE First pin attempt by Reject, as he's obviously setting up Alf for that exposed buckle! Reject picks up Alf and delivers a fisherman's buster! He then signals at the exposed buckle, and picks Alf up in running powerslam position. Reject plays to the crowd, drawing more boos, then goes to the buckle. Alf slides behind the back and shoves Reject, who stops himself before hitting the buckle. Alf grabs Reject from behind, and delivers a German suplex! 1... 2... Kickout! COACH Close call for both guys in that sequence! Reject picks up Alf and goes for the PITCH BLACK~!!!...but Alf counters, and slingshots Reject into the exposed buckle! COACH OH NO! COLE Reject into the buckle! Alf catches Reject on the rebound with an overhead belly-to-belly, then goes to the top rope! COLE And Alf looking to finish it early here! Alf LEAPS...but Reject rolls out of the ring! Alf sees this, and rolls over when he gets to the mat, ala Eddie Guerrero. Alf keeps his eyes on Reject as he shakes the cobwebs loose and walks around the ring. Reject walks all the way around, and stops and puts his hands on his knees on the side of the ring opposite the entryway. At this point, the crowd rises to its feet, as it sees the World champion, Peter Knight, slowly coming down the aisle! COLE Wait a minute, what's this? COACH Just someone wanting a little payback, Cole. Knight slides into the ring, as Alf is still focused on Reject. Alf finally turns around...right into a BELTSHOT~! from Peter Knight! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" COLE Peter Knight, the World champion, with a cheapshot on Alf! And the referee's throwing this one out! *DING DING DING* Knight stomps away at Alf, as Reject slowly rolls back into the ring. Reject acts as cheerleader as Knight mounts Alf and peppers him with stiff forearms, Alf's head snapping back violently on each impact. Knight switches to a choke while Reject joins in with some stomps of his own. CABOOSE You have to wonder if this was pre-meditated between Reject and PK! COLE It's a possibility! Knight yells taunts and obsenities at Alf while Reject takes care of the referee as he attempts to break things up by grabbing him by the shirt and yanking him through the ropes and to the floor. Knight pauses from beating on a now bloody Alf and shouts an order to Reject, who rolls out of the ring and shoves Michael Buffer out of his seat before folding it up and bringing it into the ring. COLE Oh no. COACH Alf wants to swing some steel? Time to find out what it tastes like himself. CABOOSE I'm sure Axel isn't going to do a damn thing to stop this. Reject leaves the chair on the mat and Knight pulls Alf up by the hair, staring into his eyes with a look of pure hatred. Alf tries a few right hands to try and escape, but a few Knight knees to the gut along with clubbing blows by Reject weaken him and Knight hoists him up in a fireman's carry. COLE No, not on the chair! He did the same thing to Stephen Joseph! Knight parades him around the ring, just because he can, before walking over to the chair. "YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" But suddenly Thunderkid tears down the aisle and slides into the ring. Reject points him out to Knight and Knight reluctantly drops Alf to deal with him. Reject tries a clothesline, but TK ducks it and bounces off the ropes. He leaps for a bicycle kick for Reject, but Reject rolls out of the way and out of the ring, leaving Knight no chance to react as TK connects. "YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Reject quickly jumps the barrier and backs out through the crowd as TK mounts the turnbuckles and glares at him. As officials storm the ring, Reject pushes his way through the crowd and out of sight while TK hops down to check on Alf. On the outside, Knight flexes his jaw and, seeing a wall of officials between him and TK, decides to just walk back up the aisle. COLE TK to the rescue for his friend Alf, and I can't believe Reject, just basically shielding himself with the World champion right there! He made it seem like he was happy to sign on the dotted line last week, but a lot less so when it was in person! CABOOSE And perhaps a preview of tonight's match with PK and TK with TK delivering that big bicycle kick! COACH I don't think so, I think brains will prevail over brawn, just like at AngleMania! “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican walks down the corridor of the arena. He is in his CORPORATE attire, and is carrying his custom made spinner 24/7 Championship belt over his left shoulder. He is wearing sunglasses to hide the pain he is feeling, still bummed out over losing to Peter Knight last week, and once again coming short of becoming World Heavyweight Champion. PRL heads to a door marked LIGHTNING CREW and opens it. THE LIGHTNING CREW SURPRISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! PRL clutches his heart. The Lightning Crew are all there, smiles on their faces, blowing horns, tossing confetti, and for some reason, wearing tuxedos (except for Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez of course). PR looks like he is having a heart attack, dropping his spinner 24/7 Title belt and falling to the floor, holding his heart with his right hand. “THE CORPORATE CHAMPION” THA PUERTO RICAN AAAAAAAHHHH! UGH! OH! OW! MY HEART! MY HEART! AAAAAHHHHHHHH! PRL has trouble breathing, causing The Lightning Crew to start worrying. But before anyone can call 9-1-1, Tha Puerto Rican finally speaks. THA PUERTO RICAN WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT? WERE YOU TRYING TO GIVE ME A HEART ATTACK OR SOMETHING!? MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ Sorry, sweetie. We thought it would be a good idea to surprise you like this. We didn’t think you almost have a heart attack! Puerto gets up. He dusts himself off, and slings his spinner belt over his left shoulder again. PR takes off his sunglasses and stares at The LC, who are smiling in his direction. PR is confused. PRL Uh…may I ask…what are you guys doing? VITAMIN X Well…we’re having a party for you. PUERTO RICAN Um…why? It’s not my birthday. MR. BORICUA Aww. Mr. Boricua puts away the birthday cake he made for PRL, which has vanilla frosting on it, 2 candles, and HAP BE BIRTH DAE PR placed on top of the cake in those blocky letters you put on top of cakes. Boricua hangs his head in shame. THOMAS RODRIGUEZ Told you, Boricua. MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ I know it’s not your birthday, but we’re still having a party. We know that you’re still depressed that you lost to Peter Knight last week, so, we thought we’d cheer you up by having a Celebration. A “P.R. Appreciation Night”! PR lights up when he hears this. THA PUERTO RICAN Wait a minute. You mean we’re actually going to have “P.R. Appreciation Night”? CUBAN WALL That’s right boss. PRL All right! THOMAS RODRIGUEZ Think of it as our way of saying, “Thank You” for your leadership over the past three years. PRL Aww shucks. Thanks guys! You shouldn’t have. Well, I mean, you SHOULD have, but…you get what I mean. LINDSAY We do. We are going to have a blast tonight! There’s going to be balloons, an orchestra, we even made a video celebrating your historic 24/7 Championship reign! And we did it all for you! PRL Oh, I love you baby! PRL kisses Lindsay on the lips. Thomas Rodriguez gags. THA PUERTO RICAN So, what are we waiting for? Let’s get it started in here! Thomas, Wall, Boricua, X, Lindsay, let “P.R. Appreciation Night”….BEGIN! THOMAS All right! Let’s go! PRL and The Lightning Crew come together in The Lightning Crew dressing room. They begin chatting it up, every member having a smile on his or her face. PRL probably has the widest smile, spinning the belt plate on his custom made spinner 24/7 Championship belt. Commercial break Lightning bolts fill the blue screen. Dramatic, ominous music plays. A deep voiced man saids, "The greatest 24/7 Championship reign ever!" Suddenly, lightning strikes. "Know Your Role '99" begins playing, while words appear in big, blocky, gold letters: THA PUERTO RICAN'S 24/7 TITLE REIGN HIGHLIGHTS "Know Your Role '99" continues playing as we get the first set of highlights. OAOAST LIVING ANGLELOUSLY 2005 SUNDAY APRIL 24, 2005 "THE CORPORATE CHAMPION" THA PUERTO RICAN VS. JOHN "ROCK HARD" BRICKSTON CABOOSE Now HERE is a champion we can all be proud of! PRL has done the 24/7 Title proud! (CLIP) [PR and John Brickston] lock up, and jockey for position. PRL uses all his strength and pushes “Rock Hard” into a turnbuckle. (CLIP) TPR scratches at Brickston’s eyes, gaining the advantage. (CLIP) Brickston goes for a lockup, but PRL ducks, and hits Brickston with several Rock-style punches to the face. Brickston is dazed enough that Tha Puerto Rican can whip him into a turnbuckle, and follow with the Stinger Splash. PRL continues the corner attack, stomping a mudhole in Brickston. PRL uses his right boot to choke John, but referee Nick Patrick tells him to let go of the chokehold. (CLIP) P.R. ducks under the boot, hits the ropes, and hits Brickston with a flying clothesline, that takes the man down. CABOOSE Yes! That’s what I’m talking about! (CLIP) PRL charges after Brickston, and nails him with another flying clothesline, that sends the both of them over the top rope onto the floor! (CLIP) PRL gets up first, and attacks Brickston. He whips him into the stairs, causing the crowd to groan. He grabs a cable wire and chokes Brickston with it, while referee Nick Patrick begins counting in the ring. (CLIP) Cuban Wall and Vitamin X run into the ring. They attack John Brickston from behind, and beat on him. (CLIP) Meanwhile, Stephen Joseph Popick reaches into his pocket, and pulls out a pair of brass knuckles. He hands them over to Tha Puerto Rican, who is lying on the mat. Tha Puerto Rican puts the brass knuckles on his left hand, and sneaks up behind Brickston. The crowd is going crazy, trying to let Brickston know what’s going on. Brickston doesn’t notice, still trying to get Cuban Wall and Vitamin X out of the ring with Nick Patrick. PRL turns Brickston around…and NAILS him with the brass knuckle covered left hand. (CLIP) PRL covers Brickston, hooking his left leg. Referee Nick Patrick finally notices this, so he counts. COLE No! It can’t end like this! ONE! TWO! (CLIP) BUFFER The winner of this match, (CLIP) and STILL ONE AND ONLY ANGLESAULT THREAD TWENTY-FOUR/SEVEN CHAMPION, “THE CORPORATE CHAMPION” THA PUERTOOO RICCCCAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNN!!!! Nick Patrick hands the OAOAST 24/7 Title belt over to Tha Puerto Rican, who kisses it. He raises the belt for all the crowd to see. CABOOSE Well, Brickston, atleast be happy knowing you are still the Italian Champion. You just couldn’t get the job done, tonight. HA! HA! THA PUERTO RICAN'S 24/7 TITLE REIGN HIGHLIGHTS title card appears again. "Know Your Role '99" ends. The OAOAST HeldDOWN~! logo flashes across the screen. (Cut to Triple C) COLE Wait a minute. That's not how the match went! CABOOSE Wait what? What are you talking about? COLE They edited that match! They left out the part where PRL tapped out to the Anklelock and then had John "Rock Hard" Brickston disqualified when he planted those brass knuckles in his kneepad! CABOOSE What? What do you mean? That's not what happened. That's all a lie. PRL won the match after knocking Brickston out with those brass knucks. COLE Caboose, you were there with me that night! You know EXACTLY what happened! CABOOSE No I don't. I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about. COLE Oh come on! Edited March 24, 2006 by Tony149 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted March 24, 2006 (edited) When HeldDOWN~! returns, a graphic in the right hand corner of the screen reading "earlier in the week" let's us know that we haven't returned to live action. Instead we come back to JOSH MATTHEWS~!, who tells us why we're watching this days old footage. JOSH Welcome back fans. I know you're joining us on HeldDOWN, and this particular segment is being taped for the broadcast you're currently watching. We're on location at one of the OAOAST house show stops, and tonight we have two men who have taken the time out of their busy schedule to give us their feelings on their upcoming Anglemania match. With me now are Johnny Jax and Scotty Static, aka the Global Party Exchange, who are part of the first ever Two For The Money match. The HI-YAH Heavyweight Title will hang above the ring, along with a contract for a future OAOAST World Title shot, and the only way to get both of those prizes is by climbing a ladder. Scotty, Johnny, what do you think about your inclusion in this amazing match? *The camera pans back to show the GPX sitting in two of the arena seats. Jax is leaning forward and smirking, while Static is laying back with his hands behind his head and his feet propped up on the seat in front of him.* JAX What do we think...boy Josh, you're really hitting us with the hardball questions tonight, huh? What do you mean what do we think? We're in a match where the winner holds one title, and gets a shot at another. How could we not be grateful for something like that! STATIC Seriously, J. Math, everyone in this match has got to be happy about it to one extent or another, even the glory boy himself, Zack Malibu. JAX For real. STATIC Seriously, I mean, so what if it's his title on the line? He's gonna be in a marquee matchup, a first time ever one, one that's guaranteed to entertain and get the ratings police ready to cream in their skivvies, and do you know why? JOSH Because he's one of the best competitors the wrestling world has ever seen? *The GPX break down laughing. Jax is even feigning tears.* JAX Damn dog, what happened to unbiased journalism? STATIC Seriously! JAX Man, alright, you know what, forget Zack. Forget we ever mentioned him. Let's talk about two more people in that match. Let's talk about our old buddies James Blonde and Faqu. STATIC Faqu! I get it! I get it! JOSH James Blonde and Faqu, they've definitely molded themselves into a great tag team, with their biggest win to date coming at the expense of you two back last month at Zero Hour. STATIC Now hang on, Matthews, before you go down that road. Yeah, yeah they did beat us at Zero Hour, and then what? Where was the followup? There was none, because right after Zero Hour, off they went, back to Japan for HI-YAH. The GPX still haven't gotten their rematch from that. We lost that night, yeah, but let me tell you something...everyone has their day. One match does not make a man, or in this case, a team. Two guys with joke names that think because they went overseas and came back and can hit harder, or can be all "look at the fat man fly" makes them a force? Please. There is only one tag team that has been consistently great in this company, and they're the two men sitting with you right now. Blonde and Faqu, they're bottom of the barrell. They don't hold a candle to us, and at Anglemania in the Two For The Money match, we'll finally get our hands on them again. JOSH While that last part might be true, you've got to keep in mind that this isn't a tag team or group effort. In fact, Two For The Money could come down to the two of you on the same ladder, struggling to capture the prize. JAX And if it comes down to that, then let it. You think we're worried about giving each other competition? We're the best at what we do, but more than that, we're a family. Just like how our boy Jamie O'Hara is in that match too. You've got three Upstarts, three men ready and willing to risk life and limb to make sure that Zack Malibu doesn't get his moment in the sun, or that Blonde and Faqu get a win and get their egos inflated anymore than they already are. STATIC My man Johnny J hit the nail on the head, for real. We know that the OAOAST did it to try and put some cracks in The Upstarts. Set us all on the same path and see who breaks. Ain't gonna work, because all we're gonna do is take out your hero, and your flavor of the month tag team, and leave it to the GPX and Jamie O'Hara. Then we'll put on a show that the world will never forget, and whoever manages to have the magic moment and get to the top of the ladder first, then good for him, because all that means is that the belt is back where it belongs, around the waist of an Upstart, someone who deserves to have the spotlight put on them for once. JOSH It will be interesting to see if your prophecy comes true on April 2nd. The Two For The Money match is just another can't miss portion of Anglemania V. This is Josh Matthews signing off, and now let's get you back to live action, on HeldDOWN~! (Back to SC) COLE Yes, that Two For the Money match should be a great part of what is shaping up to be a huge card. Right now, we've got the OAOAST debut of a new tag team. Let's go up to the ring. "JUST ONE ON ONE THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT BABY! JUST ONE ON ONE, THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT! JUST ONE ON ONE THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT BABY! JUST ONE ON ONE, THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT!" As A1's "First To Believe hits, the crowd look ready to either leave in protest or alternatively riot...that is, until they see the delightful Jade Rodez walking through the entrance doors with a smile that could melt even the blackest, stoniest, frozenest heart and realise it's time for HeldDOWN~! to go D*LUX! Jade stops on the stage with hands on hips, striking a pose as "Showtime" Shayne Brave and "Tremendous" Tyler Bryant emerge and stand either side, saluting their fans.in between dancing along to the boyband beats bursting through the P.A System. I don't care what you haters say, it's a cool song. Also cool are Tyler and Shayne, kitted out in green dyed denim and wearing some very expensive looking sunglasses. The two pose besides Jade for a second or two, before the youngest Rodez sibling points the way to the ring and the two make their way down the aisle tagging hands merrily. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall Coming to the ring at this time, being accompanied to the ring by their managing consultant, Jade Rodez...making their OAOAST debuts tonight. At a total combined weight of three hundred and ninety seven pounds... "SHOWTIME" SHAYNE and "TREMENDOUS" TYLER... they are D*LLLUUUUUUXXXXXXXXXX!!! "YYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Tyler and Shayne leap to the apron and take a hand each of Jade, using their well toned muscles to help her glide gracefully from ringside to the apron. Together they then hold the ropes open for Jade to enter the ring, before entering themselves and standing either side of their kneeling manager with merchandise selling smiles! BUFFER And, currently in the ring are their opponents... LOS CONQUISADOOOOOORRRRRRRSSSSSSS!! The golden boys of the tag team division (literally) salute, but nobody is watching them, all eyes fixed on the grandious entrance of the newest duo in the OAOAST. Tyler and Shayne remove their glasses and jackets and hand them safely to Jade, who leaves the ring to take up her new position of manager in the corner. One of the Conquistadors, Uno for ease if nothing else assumes control and elects to start. Meanwhile across the ring, Tyler and Shayne pump fists before Tyler exits to the apron. COLE Wow, that was something, huh? CABOOSE I'll admit they've got the aesthetics sorted, but now it's time to deliver. And as we all know, these boybands tend to be all show and very little substance, so I'm not holding my breath just yet. *DINGDINGDING!* "Showtime" Shayne kicks off with Uno and offers up a handshake. The Latin America stares at the hand and after a few seconds comes up, wagging a finger in Shayne's face and suggesting that they should start the match with an old school test of strength. Shayne isn't sure about it, he being 'a buck 88' and the beefy Conquistador tipping the scales at 230 pounds. But the temptation eventually gets to Shayne and he raises and arm looking to lock knuckles...only for Uno to suddenly and unexplicably do a forward roll past him and raise a fist in the air to the crowd. COACH OLÉ! COLE A little bit of mind games perhaps from the Conquistador. Shayne folds his arms and shakes his head, disappointed at the bait and switch. Seeking assurance he looks to the outside, where Jade warmly encourages him not to worry. Again Conquistador Uno offers up a test of strength and now Shayne is feeling a little better about things, reaching up and locking fingers. As he does so, Tyler sneaks into the ring and drops to all fours behind Uno, as the gold bodysuit wearing Conquistador predictably stuns Shayne with a boot and turns to hit the ropes... ...tripping over Tyler and landing with a thud on his face! "YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Jade hops up and down on the floor applauding her men, as Dos scrambles into the ring. Tyler quickly points this arrival out to his partner however and D*LUX deal with him with a quick double dropkick, sending Dos into reverse and tumbling out through the ropes, crashing to the floor! With Dos taken care of, Tyler and Shayne now take Uno by a arm a-piece and whip him across the ring. On the rebound, Uno manages to read a double backbody drop attempt and he kicks Tyler in the chest, snapping him upright. Uno then goes to clothesline Shayne. Shayne ducks though and Uno carries on into a fireman's carry by Tyler, who does a quick spin of the ring before Shayne catches Uno's head and the combined efforts of D*LUX drive Uno into the mat with a Samoan Drop/Neckbreaker combination! COLE We've had some notes prepared for us by the lovely and very helpful Jade Rodez and apparantly, that's the "Rock Your Body". Heh, cute. CABOOSE Only a flaming meterosexual like you would be amused by a Justin Timberlake reference. COLE Hey, he's buff now. Did you see the tats he's got for his new movie. YI-EEKES! CABOOSE Looking for some solace, Uno tries to roll from the ring. "Showtime" Shayne stops him short though, grabbing him by the foot and pulling him back from under the ropes, into the ring. Unloading with some quick forearm strikes, Shayne then bursts into the ropes and takes down Uno with a spinning back elbow. Jade encourages Shayne to make a quick cover and he does just that... 1... 2... Kickout. Shayne pulls Uno back up and makes the exchange with Tyler while dragging Uno to the centre of the ropes. Together D*LUX send Uno off the ropes and catch him on the rebounds with elbows buried to the gut. Dos jumps to the apron but is taken care of by Tyler, while Shayne manages to hoist Uno up and plants him across his knee with an inverted atomic drop. But D*LUX aren't done as Shayne hangs onto Uno, while Tyler hits the ropes behind him, launching forward and KOing Uno with a Yakuza Kick right to the jaw!! JADE WHHHOOOOOOOOOOO!! COLE And that's "Opposites Attract", named in honour of American Idol judge Paula Abdul who was the only one to say something encouraging to these two youngsters during their auditions for T.V's most prestigious prize! CABOOSE Have you heard them? I'm surprised she even humoured them. Tyler gets the crowd behind him while Shayne goes back to the apron under request by referee Charles Robinson. Pulling Uno to his feet, Tyler backs the Latin American into a corner and climbs to the turnbuckles. A smile and a wink is all the handsome youngster needs to get the crowd behind him, as he pulls Uno's head back by the mask aaaaaand... "1!" "2!" "3!" "4!" "5!" "6!" "7!" "8!" "9!" "10!" "YAAAAAAAAAAAAY!" Dropping from the ropes, Tyler waits for Uno to stagger out from the corner and lands a boot to the gut. Tyler then hooks on a front facelock and uses the ropes and turnbuckles as a walkway to spin a full 360, planting Uno with a dynamic Tornado DDT!! Following up quickly, Tyler pushes Uno down and makes the pin... 1... 2... Save by Dos! CONQISTADOR DOS ARRIBA! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Dos is a little surprised by the rection, but the crowd are solidly behind the photogenic duo they're facing. And as such, they erupt as Shayne Brave soars from the top and takes out Dos with a missile dropkick! COLE Nice elevation from Showtime! CABOOSE Who chose these guys' nicknames? I mean, they're not bad, but I'd hardly call them ground-breaking. Back up rapidly, Shayne is joined by Tyler now as they take an arm each on Dos. A double armwringer is followed by a double irish whip. Dos only gets to arms length though before D*LUX cross over and pull the sparkling gold fruitball back and down with a Double Necktie manueuver. Shayne and Tyler then go for Uno and connect with knees to the gut before taking an arm and a leg each, hoisting Uno up. Faced with a face-first drop to the mat Uno panickily tries to escape as he thrases and flails, looking for an escape route. None is found however, as the masked man is dropped across knees with a Double Gutbuster! COLE The Cowell Movement! CABOOSE Well, that was prett...wait, the WHAT!?! COLE The Cowell Movement. CABOOSE That's either the cleverst pun in OAOAST history or the worst thing ever. Jade again shows her encouragement and delight with applause as Shayne charges Dos against the ropes, executing a Cactus Jack style clothesline that takes both deliverer and recipient over the top rope and to the floor! That leaves "Tremendous" Tyler and the not nearly so tremendous Conquistador Uno in the ring. Uno holds his gut as he stumbles around the ring aimlessly. Brushing past him, Tyler shoots off the ropes and dives forward with a devestating Spear, his momentum flipping him over into a Jacknife pin with both legs hooked... 1... 2... 3!!!!! *DINGDINGDING!* A very pleased Jade Rodez applauds the victory as she enters the ring and gives Tyler a friendly embrace. Shayne gets one two as he enters the ring and it's smiles all round as D*LUX get their hands raised in an impressive debut victory. The crowd rise to appreciate the two newcomers as they pump fists on a job well done. COLE Victory for D*LUX and that was The Merry Tyler Gore Show right there! CABOOSE Oh God... COLE That aside, impressive stuff from the debuting D*LUX and it looks like Jade Rodez might be onto a winner with these two, judging by that performance. CABOOSE Everybody beats Los Conquistadors. COLE Well, it was a good start. Of course it wasn't the hardest test these two will face, but even the mightest tree grows from a small acorn. CABOOSE You're as bad as they are. Who the hell thought up those stupid move names anyway? COLE According to these notes, "Creative Consultant: Alix Maria Spezia". CABOOSE Figures. COLE Well, she's got a big creative side of her, so I can't......what's that? Folks, I’m being told there’s a huge problem in the back! CABOOSE What else is new? The camera flashes to the locker room where none other than Dan Black is passed out on the floor. It becomes immediately clear that his forehead has been busted wide open, and the shattered pieces of glass nearby leave no doubt as to what might have been done it. But the question of who still needs to be answered. Who did this?! Who could have done such a heinous thing?! With a slight grin on his face, Hoff steps into the camera view and looks down at the fallen superstar. “OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!” The fans respond with a groan as Hoff shakes his head slightly. HOFF Boy, that’s a shame. People have to watch how clumsy they are. Moments later, Drek Stone steps into camera view, earning the same passionate reaction from the crowd. DREK Yeah they do. It’s a shame Tony Brannigan couldn’t have an accident too before I go out there. HOFF Oh, don’t worry about it. DREK This moment can make or break my career. You realize that, right? HOFF Buddy, don’t worry about it. You just take care of finally getting everything off your chest. I’ll provide the defense against Tony. Got that? With a smile, Drek nods his head. DREK Yeah. Taking a deep breath, Drek walks away from the scene of the crime with a comforted grin on his face. Meanwhile, all Hoff can do is continue to look down at the carnage. HOFF Hey guys, could we get some help? We need some help! We…..ah, to hell with it. Shrugging his shoulders, Hoff walks away from the scene, leaving Black still helplessly laying there with no help in sight. All’s fair in war. Commercial break Lightning bolts fill the blue screen. Dramatic, ominous music plays. A deep voiced man saids, "The greatest 24/7 Championship reign ever!" Suddenly, lightning strikes. "Know Your Role '99" begins playing, while words appear in big, blocky, gold letters: THA PUERTO RICAN'S 24/7 TITLE REIGN HIGHLIGHTS "Know Your Role '99" continues playing as we get the next set of highlights. OAOAST THE GREAT ANGLE BASH 2005 SUNDAY JUNE 26, 2005 "THE CORPORATE CHAMPION" THA PUERTO RICAN VS. JOHN "ROCK HARD" BRICKSTON COLE Brickston is ready. He no longer has taped ribs. He no longer has a cast on his right hand. He has been waiting for this match since April 1, 2004, the day he walked out on The Lightning Crew. It’s gut check time, and it’s happening at The Great Angle Bash 2005! (CLIP) [Tha Puerto Rican] heads to the ropes again, and does the Throwback on Brickston, bringing him down to the mat. CABOOSE That’s one of Brickston’s moves! He just embarrassed Brickston! (CLIP) Tha Puerto Rican stomps on John Brickston’s right hand twice. He then stomps his head. Then he goes back to stomping his right hand. (CLIP) PRL drops a knee onto Brickston’s right hand, which causes Brickston to clutch the hand in pain. The referee checks on Brickston, but PRL moves the ref out of the way to do another kneedrop onto the right hand. PRL grabs Brickston’s right arm and applies an arm-bar. The Lightning Crew and Popick cheer him on. COLE PRL is focusing his attack on the right hand. The hand that The Lightning Crew broke back in May in a vicious attack backstage. (CLIP) PRL grabs Brickston and runs with him towards the ropes, until he is able to give him the Necksnap. PRL gets back into the ring, and when Brickston is on his knees, Tha Puerto Rican charges forward, giving “Rock Hard” The Lightning Shock, causing the crowd to groan. (CLIP) PRL curses in Spanish, and then heads to the top rope. The Mad Cappa Crusher 2003. (CLIP) Cuban Wall kicks Brickston in the stomach, and then picks him up, allowing Tha Puerto Rican to grab him and slam his head into another ringpost. Brickston now has a cut above his forehead. COLE John Brickston has been busted open! (CLIP) COLE Brickston’s head has hit the ringposts 5, 6 times now! He’s bleeding buckets. (CLIP) Brickston whips PR into the ropes. PRL ducks the clothesline, and leaps up, grabbing Brickston’s head to apply a sleeperhold! (CLIP) [Tha Puerto Rican] whips [John Brickston] into the ring steps, with Brickston’s right shoulder hitting the steps. (CLIP) PRL stops to look at the crowd. He laughs at Brickston, telling the crowd he isn’t going to do The IntenseZone Elbow. The crowd actually boos him for this. PRL starts to walk away, but then drops the IntenseZone Elbow, which gets a face pop. (CLIP) Tha Puerto Rican hits Brickston with the chair for a third time, and this time, John falls like a sack of bricks. (CLIP) “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican hooks the right leg of John “Rock Hard” Brickston. Thomas Rodriguez slowly makes the count. OOOOOOOOONNNNNEEEEEEE!!! TWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! COLE No! Not like this! THHRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! CABOOSE YES! YES! YES! HE DID IT! HE FINALLY DID IT! *DING DING DING* (22:15) COLE Damnit! PRL has won! PRL has defeated John Brickston! CABOOSE We got a new Italian Champion! We got a new Italian Champion! John Brickston has lost the Italian Title to Tha Puerto Rican!!! Popick and Lindsay celebrate. PRL lies on the mat, raising his right hand in the air. Brickston is now coming to. “Know Your Role ‘99” starts playing as the crowd boos loudly. (CLIP) John Brickston is now up. He rubs his eyes, and sees PRL with the 24/7 and Italian Title belts. His eyes are filled with rage. (CLIP) MICHAEL BUFFER Ladies and Gentlemen, the winner of this match…and STILL One And Only AngleSault Thread Twenty-Four/Seven Champion (Crowd boos)…and NEW One And Only AngleSault Thread Italian Champion (Boos get louder), “The Corporate Champion” THA PUERTOOOOOOOO RIIIICCCCCCAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!! The announcement just makes Brickston more furious. PRL raises the OAOAST 24/7 Title belt and the Italian Title belt in the air while being taken away on a stretcher. THA PUERTO RICAN'S 24/7 TITLE REIGN HIGHLIGHTS title card appears again. "Know Your Role '99" ends. The OAOAST HeldDOWN~! logo flashes across the screen. (Cut to Triple C) COLE That was also edited. CABOOSE What? What do you mean? COLE They left out the part where PRL shocked John Brickston with a taser gun, and then hit him in the head with a chair three times. CABOOSE What? They showed ONE chairshot, so obviously, PRL must have hit Brickston ONCE! Where are you getting three chairshots from? COLE Caboose, I saw the event live as it happened. I know for a fact that PRL shocked John Brickston with a taser gun, and then hit him with a chair THREE times! CABOOSE You're crazy. PRL won that match with ONE chairshot. That wasn't edited. It was shown EXACTLY how it happened. He became the Puerto Rican Champion for a third time that day. COLE Yeah, and his reign only lasted four days. He lost it to Alfdogg on HeldDOWN~! four days later. CABOOSE Edited March 24, 2006 by Tony149 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted March 24, 2006 (edited) COLE Last week, stuff happened. Let's take a look! The audience's good feelings are short lived, and bad vibrations quickly settle in due to Christian Wright reentering the ring. Taking umbrage both to the way the Boiz won this match and their actions from last week, Wright gets in the face of a celebrating Melvin. The two engage in a heated debate, screaming over the noise of the rowdy fans. Not surprisingly Wright manages to claim victory in this little argument. But not through his vast intellect. Rather he scores a win from a devious sucker punch. Melvin recoils for a second, then springs back with a punch of his own. Now their verbal spat has turned into outright physical warfare! But Melvin is soon overwhelmed when Bohemoth inserts himself into the fracas. Irate over the underhanded low blow, The Upstart's heavy hitter punishes his victim with a devastating spine buster! MELODY What the hell? Leave my brother alone! The spectators are livid, and understandably so! Marvin makes a valiant effort to rescue his sibling, actually managing to tackle Wright with a spear! As the fans root him on, he rains punch after punch on Wright's face. The only thing the moral highground can do to defend himself, is cover up until Bohemoth yanks the energetic Sk8r off him. Taking a clump of Marv's hair, Bo readies to unleash his second Erotic Awakening of the night. But a gargantuan pop erupts from the stands as the fans spot Chicks Over Dicks, lacrosse sticks in tow (and a bottle of Jack Daniels in Kris' hand), darting down the ramp! COLE Here comes Alix and Krista! COACH Look at them bounce! I mean look at them run! Choosing to avoid a conflict with weapon swinging madwomen, Bo and Christian duck out of the ring with their good health intact. They slowly back up the ramp way, trading ice cold stares with their rampageous archrivals. “C-O-D! C-O-D! C-O-D!” bleat the fans. Krista and Alix check on the injured twins, as Melody joins them in the ring. After making certain the Boiz are okay, the girls grab microphones. COLE But that weren't all oh no! KRISTA Fine. Okay. Enough of the jokes, enough of the begging. Let me put down Ol Number 7 and let me get serious with you kids. Alix was being sweet, but now Krista's taken over and now the mood's all changed. After what happened last week, I now know that you two are excremental excuses for human beings who's skin would be better used as an overcoat to keep those who actually deserve to live warm during the winter. Understand this, we're gonna find you, we're gonna getcha. We're gonna come to whatever section 8 housing project you sorry asses waste oxygen in and we're gonna drag your rotten carcasses out into the street in the middle of the night and we're gonna tear into you like two dogs caged. And you might not like it if we have to pay you a visit. You might get your door kicked in. You might get your kid napped. You might get your legs broke. You might get your neck snapped. You might get your skull cracked. And you might take your last ride in an ambulance, and you might not make it to see the other side of thirty. With that warning on their minds, Wright and Bo make their retreat, as COD's music plays over the thunderous roar of the crowd. The Sk8rs and Melody converse with the girls, while the other participants in that less then stellar four way match clear out. COLE Krista Isadora Duncan laid down a verbal bitch-slapping on your boys last week Coach, if you don't mind me saying. COACH You know, actually, I do mind you saying that because it ain't true. Sure, Krista said some cute stuff and I'm sure she was up all night writing that cute little speech of hers, but it don't matter none. She's just a moderately intelligent woman with an online dictionary in her Favourites folder. Big whoop! When Christian Wright wants to own lil' Ms. Krista orally, he will. CABOOSE ... COACH So to speak. COLE Indeed. Well, Christian Wright sure wasn't saying a whole lot last week. Chicks Over Dicks issued a very firm and very clear challenge to Wright and Bohemoth, but if they did accept, we couldn't hear it over the sound of them running for the hills. So let me ask you this Coach...why didn't Christian and Bohemoth accept the challenge? Don't tell me they're running scared of the former Tag Team Champions. COACH Scared? Of COD? Bitch, please! Like I say, Krista might talk the talk, but if you think CDub and Bo are afraid of two girls just because they talk tough, you're very much mistaken. CABOOSE We'll see in a minute, won't we. Looking around nervously, Coach seems confused...more than usual. COACH Heh...heh, wait a second...what does that mean? COLE You didn't get the memo? COACH Wha...what memo? CABOOSE The one about Chicks Over Dicks calling your bestest buddies out, right about now. COACH No, I didn't... CABOOSE So you don't know that you're going up there right now to conduct the interview with them either? COACH Now hold up...we weren't informed about this! Nobody told the Coach about this! As Coach goes into panic mode and begs to be spared both the potential danger and assured humiliation of having to interview the Chicks Over Dicks, said chicks over said appendages arrive through the entrance doors to a thunderous ovation! Insert flowery Patty style imagery here, as Krista leads the way for Alix, who for no particular reason skips down the ramp, throwing flower petals from a basket out to the fans. The fans would much rather have money or maybe some Stridex pads thrown at them, but whatever. Krista is in no mood for playing around, although then again when is she, striding down the aisle and into the ring and calling for a microphone. Alix begins to do a lap of the ring meanwhile, realising she's run out of petals halfway around and simply throwing out waves and smiles to all! CABOOSE Don't just sit there Coach, you've got two hot women waiting for you here. That doesn't happen to you every decade, make the most of it! COACH I...I dunno. CABOOSE No, no, go ahead. You've earnt it. Krista waits patiently for Alix, who isn't related to Krista remember (have to keep reminding myself, see, coz I'm slow and...stuff), to finally give her empty basket to a simple looking gent in the second row wearing a homemade Biff Atlas t-shirt and an oversized afro wig before she slides into the ring. With COD in the ring, all that remains is for our host with the most. Finally finding some courage deep down inside, Coach throws down his headset and storms up the ringsteps. CABOOSE Oh, he's dead. COLE Mmm hmm. Entering the ring, Coach contemplates snatching the microphone from Krista, but thinks better of it and grabs his own. COACH Alright ladies, you wanted me to conduct this interview... KRISTA No. We asked for someone competent. COACH Good one. A'ight, let's cut right to the chase, shall we. You can't seriously be doing what I've been told you're doing. We all know that you two are a few lines of cocaine short of a supermodel, but you're surely not stupid enough to be calling out Christian Wright and Bohemoth, are you? "KICK HIM IN THE NUTS, KRISTA!" shouts one over-zealous fan. KRISTA First of all, that was the worst metaphor I've ever heard in my entire long and varied life. So congratulations. Nice attempt to tie in with the subject however. Secondly, Alix is certainly that stupid. That's an universal answer Johnathon, so bear it in mind. Because the next time you think about asking if she's really that stupid, she is. Sticking forks into plug sockets, drinking bleach, dating Leon Rodez, paying money to see the new Pink Panther movie. Did Alix go to see James Blunt in concert? You betcha. Did she get sucked into phoning up and wasting money voting on Dancing With The Stars? Damn skippy. She is that stupid. However, if you think that challenging Christian Wright and Bohemoth to a match or even to walk down and join us in this ring is stupid, then you clearly don't pay a whole lot of attention to this little thing we like to call a wrestling show, despite the fact of course that we're out here talking for the bazzillionth show in a row instead of wrasslin'. COACH Hey, I pay plenty of attention! And obviously, I pay more to this situation than you two do. Newsflash girls...you two combined barely weigh the same as Bohemoth. He's a trained bodyguard. Christian is the 2005 Rookie Of The Year! KRISTA Oh, I'm sorry, is that little tagline supposed to impress me. Silly me. Here was me thinking that Rookie Of The Year went to wrestlers who are okay and might be good in the future, but aren't the finished article. I must have missed the memo where Rookie Of The Years can match up to me. Maybe times have changed. Maybe ol' Krista's a little set in her ways. Let me tell you a short little story Johnny boy. Lounge yourself up against those ring ropes if you like, I might take a while with this, because we're going back in time. Figuratively you understand. Unfortunately, Alix's home-made time machine didn't do much more than produce ridiculously burnt toast and a number of mild electric shocks which probably didn't do her brainwaves any favours. Let me take you back to junior school Johnathon. Now, for you, the biggest worry you had was probably avoiding the inevitable wedgies and swirleys that came with being Johnathon Coachman. Girls are a different breed, see. We're very image conscious. Not the fat ones, obviously. No offense to any of you in the audience, as I know those COD XXXL t-shirts are still selling like hotcakes and Lard knows I need fatties if my fitness guru status is going to stay intact. But the rest of us are very image conscious. Back in the 5th Grade, these juicy mammaries that you keep staring at weren't quite as full and vuluptious. It's evolution, see. Full of change that only I and that creepy guy that lived at number 24 and had the telescope in his living room saw. I still remember my first training bra Johnny and I remember being so jealous of little Kimmy Simpkins because she didn't have to use as much padding as I did. You could have stuffed cushions with the contents of mine, you could. I couldn't have been more flammable if I was wearing the entire contents of Jim Cornette's wardrobe. COACH Is there a point to this story? KRISTA There certainly is, Johnno! Every night, I'd look in the mirror and I'd curse that blasted Kimmy Simpkins and her quick acting puberty. I hated Kimmy Simpkins. I felt inferior to Kimmy Simpkins. And then one day...BAM, she walked in front of a tram. So, you see, having the fullest training bra doesn't mean a thing really. Who's getting the love now, me or Kimmy Simpkins, god rest her soul. Being Rookie Of The Year is like filling up your training bra Jo'. Doesn't guarantee you success. And although Christian and Bohemoth are certainly two rather large boobs, if you catch my drift, that doesn't mean they're any match for two well developed women like myself and Alix. The fans, slightly creeped out by that particular story, applaud Krista sheepishly. COACH KRISTA Whadda you think Coach? COACH You wanna know what I think? I think you're nothing but a couple of attention whores!! "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" CABOOSE Ooh, this is gonna be GOOD! COACH When you came back to the OAOAST, you could have joined up with Malibu and his crew, you could have even joined up with The Upstarts. You could be with us. So, you chose neither. So you could have went without incident and got on with things. But, NO. You come out and you badmouth EVERYONE because you wanted attention. Lemme take you back to Climax. You versus mah boiz, The Global Party Exchange. They kicked you from pillar to post. They used you Alix like a punching bag. And a kicking back. And an experimental neck surgery bag. And you came out and you cried and bawled your little eyes out about how horrible it was and how we should feel sorry for poor wickle Alix. You shoulda learnt your lesson by now, girls! But I get the feeling that you wanna face Bo and Christian, you want to get beaten down, you want the sympathy vote from this group of idiots because you want attention. If you thought what Johnny and Scotty did was something, you keep goading The Moral Highground and you'll find out what pain and suffering really is! Having vented, Coach comes to a heavily-breathing stop...and is shocked to see Alix and Krista exchanging looks that seem to show they're impressed. ALIX Wow...Terry Taylor never talks to us like that. KRISTA Maybe he values his testicles more than Johnny-boy here. ALIX I can see why. KRISTA You know, that was a fantastic little straight out of drama school, the world doesn't love me so I have to talk real loud to get noticed, theatrical outburst and that's your T.V time for the month taken care of Coachy, but we're getting off track here. Let Cap'n Krista take hold of the wheel and steer us back on course. ALIX Should you be driving? I mean, you're awful drunk. KRISTA When has that made a difference? ALIX True dat. KRISTA Look, we're losing sight of what we're here for. We're here to call somebody out. So let's do this, because we've got something we wanna do. We've got a challenge, all we need is a challenger...so, COME ON DOOOOWWWN! ... Much to the confusion of the crowd, rather than any rock stylings, the P.A system begins hipping and hopping to the rather vulgar beats of Cassidy's "I'm A Hustla". Krista stands with hands on hips, staring up at the ramp, Alix grooving besides her, as not Christian Wright nor Bohemoth but JAMIE O'HARA makes his way out through those entrance doors of doom! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE This is...unexpected. CABOOSE You're telling me. Why haven't they torn Coach apart yet? Jamie jawjacks his way down the ramp, throwing his gangsta gestures to all as he makes his way to ringside. Looking a lot more confident again now, Coach smiles away to himself, as O'Hara vaults to the apron and springboards over the top, doing the splits in mid-air to clear the ropes and still landing on his feet. Coach applauds O'Hara, as he takes the mic from him. KRISTA I'm sorry young man, but I think you're a little confused. This isn't the Wade Robson Project, 'homie'. So I suggest you and whoever you've got hiding in those oversized clown pants turn yourself right around and go get Shakespeare and Schwarzenegger. O'HARA Yo bitch, step off! "OOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" O'HARA Look at'chu, out here runnin' yo' mouth an' callin' out CDub and Big Bo. You must be crackers, cracka! You don't wanna throw down with the big boys. You don't wanna be startin' shit with mah boy Coach, he'll crush you like a roach, understands? ALIX First of all, cockroaches are actually one of the most resilient creatures on the planet, so your suggestion that Johnathon would crush us in the same manner he would they would suggest he would tread on us and we would keep running around, so he would then grab a heavy impliment from his kitchen and try to bash our brains in but again fail to kill us, so he'd then have to call the exterminators, which would take at least a day or two for them to come out and deal with his problem. And secondly...yo, homie, your shit is whack! "YYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" ALIX You don't step to Ron. But he's not here, so I dunno why I said that really, except as set-up. You don't step to K.I.D. And you don't step to Al. Yo dawg, you wanna throw your lines. This is straight ballin' 101, playa! We're straight up gangstas, so you best chill tha hell down my jigga! You don't want non'a dis laffy taffy! This is serious motherfucking e-wrestling! We make big boy noise, we carry big boy toys. YEAH-YUH! Yo, it don't matter none, son. Gettin' all up in our grills...you best be easy, brudda. You musta messed up that pretty lil' dome of yours getting your punk ass whooped by Tha Parka for the past 4 months. WHASSUP!?! "WHASSUP!" ALIX WHASSUP!?! "WHASSUP!" ALIX You're not answering my question people. Repeating my question isn't an answer. Listen, consider and respond. Survey says, WHASSUP!?! "........" ALIX Oh, nevermind. COACH You know, this is getting us nowhere. I know you two and I know how you do things. You come out here and ramble on and on and on trying to make yourselves look good and eventually, ten minutes later, you get to the point. Let's cut to the chase here. See, you talk tough before...but now, you're not intimidating the Coach. I've got mah boy out here now! I've got the greatest junior heavyweight in the world. I've got The Birmingham Bad Boy, the straight up hustla, the big J-OH! Girls, look at this situation would ya. The odds aren't in your favour anymore. Before it was one commentator the 'mighty' Chicks Over Dicks. But now...haha...now, there's two of you... Coach smiles, looking down at his crotch. COACH ...and FOUR of us! HAHA! ALIX Woah! You mean, you both have superfluous second penises? What are the chances, eh Krista? KRISTA I think they were referring to balls, actually, my misguided friend. Forgive me for indulging myself in Ebonics 101 for a moment, but Jamie, you claim to be a hustla? Well hustla, I think you're bluffing. We all know why you're here. It's so blatant I could have wrote this script myself simply from my memory of professional wrestling plot devices. If it were possible to get a degree in it and possible to take the test while under the influence of alcohol, I'd have passed that badboy like Lindsay Lohan passes up seconds! We come out and call out the bad guys, but lo and behold, we don't get them! Out comes the hired help. Jamie O'Hara, playing decoy. You attempt to jumble up our frustrations and make us attack you, which I'll admit is mighty tempting currently, and then, Christian Wright and Bohemoth spring out through the crowd like two legged gazels and poor little nice girls, Krista and Alix, get beaten down by the dastardly Upstarts. Well forgive me for being awkward my young friend, but Chicks Over Dicks are nothing if not unorthodox. We don't go by the script. We don't play by the book. We don't imitate, we innovate. So, seeing as you two are evidently proud of your testosterone levels, how about you go back and lend your buddies some of it because we're getting a teensy wincey bit tired of waiting around here having to deal with the C-Team, when what we're waiting for is the B-Team. O'HARA The big J-OH don't give a crap how you Chicks Over Dicks do. You gon' find out how SuperJay do, real quick. You gon' be Chicks Under Our Dicks, b'ldat! Krista wipes a wry smile from her face. KRISTA According to your new little theme song, you're a hustla, you're a you're a hustla. Well, the last Hustler who tried something with us ended up with a hefty child support and considerable pain. You're going to experience one of those Jamie, very soon. I'll give you three guesses as to which one, but the first two are like The Global Party Exchange in a math class, they don't count. And, incase you need a clue... *NUTSHOT!* Krista backhands O'Hara in the junk and The Birmingham Bad Boy goes down into a fetal position, leaving Coach to back into the corner and beg for his pitiful life! CABOOSE Yesyesyes! COLE I'm so glad my mom is TiVoing this! Coach continues to beg, as Krista looks around the arena, anticipating the expected Wright/Bohemoth run-in. As yet there's no sign of either former HI-YAH Heavyweight Champion but Krista has her suspicions and is determined not to let her guard down, simply for the sake of beating up a weakling announcer. Trouble is, her lookout means she misses a recovered O'Hara pitching Alix out of the ring! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The howls of the fans alert Krista that something's up and around she turns, turning straight into the tumbling O'Hara, as he lands a spin wheel kick to the chest! Krista goes down and promptly Coach stands tall over her, putting on the badmouth. On the outside meanwhile, Alix has HAD IT! Pulling up the ring skirt, Alix goes weapon hunting...but what she finds under the ring apparantly shocks her for some reason as she promptly pulls the ring skirt back down and scuttles back up to the ring apron. Coach spots Alix's chocolate locks first and frantically tells O'Hara to turn around. By the time he reactes though, it's too late, as Alix springs to the top and wipes out The Birmingham Bad Boy with a Springboard Lariat. Coach goes back to begging off, while Alix helps Krista up and informs her that there's something up, under the ring. CABOOSE I'm not sure what's going on here, but Coach is still breathing so as far as I'm concerned, it's not good. Quickly formulating a plan, Krista instructs Alix to go under the ring and Alix, either brave or stupid obliges. Krista also leaves the ring and cautiously reaches for a weapon, pulling out a handy cookie sheet. Hey, why WOULDN'T there be one under the ring? Alix is under the ring now and seconds pass without incident...until suddenly, the womanly yelp of Ms Spezia can be heard from under the ring. The mat begins to shake, as Krista waits, cookie sheet in hand. The ring skirt ripples and Alix scurries out from under the ring like a mouse and hides behind the ring steps. A couple of seconds later, again the ring skirt ripples. And this time, a much less womanly form emerges from the depths of proverbial hell. Bohemoth! COLE Uh-oh...I think The Upstarts have been rumbled!! Bohemoth was under the ring the whole time!! Scrambling to his feet, Bohemoth stops as he looks around for the elusive Alix. She's not in front of him. Not to the left. Not to the ri... *PANG!* Krista nails Bohemoth over the head with the cookie sheet and the hapless bigman collapses to the mats around the ring with his eyes crossed. "YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE I think the plan backfired. CABOOSE I guess so. Gleefully Alix does a little jig over Bohemoth's fallen frame, but Krista quickly grabs her partner in sisterhood by the hand and drags her into the ring. Naturally, Krista assumes that Christian Wright can't be too far behind and she isn't about to play sitting duck. And besides, Coach hasn't been dealt with yet. Clubbing down O'Hara with a hard clothesline, Krista now turns to Coach and grabs the helpless announcer by the collar, dragging him to his feet and preparing to lower da boom... WRIGHT HALT! HALT! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Krista looks up as the profile of the 2005 Rookie Of The Year magically appears on the AngleTron. Looking very pleased with himself for some reason, Wright smiles into the camera, as Krista spares The Coach. WRIGHT Enough, Bo! The time is at hand. Was this sordid little display appeasing you, Ms. Isadora Duncan? Was humiliating a defenceless, innocent young journalist allowing you to exude your frustations towards me? Does viciously attacking said announcer and his closest compadré bring joy to your black, twisted hearts? Was it worth it, as you lie motionless in that ring, decimated at the hands of my monstrous Meterosexual Monster? How does poetic justice treat you now, you vi... KRISTA AHEM! AHEM...HEM! Hey, Christian, Krista here. Eyes widening to the size of saucers, Christian freaks out at the sound of Krista's voice. Christian looks around frantically for the course of the voice and eventually, a good way behind him, a handy stagehand calls him over and suggests he look at a handily placed T.V monitor. Wright does so and is shocked to see the camera at ringside fixed on Bohemoth's KOed body. KRISTA You know, this is kinda embarrassing because I know you were really getting into your stride there buddy, but I think you might have misinterpreted what just happened a tiny bit. I take it you weren't watching the monitors? A little presumtious, don't you think? Well, see, here's the thing. Your little plan kinda went boo-boo, thanks to Bo-Bo. See, we did beat up Feminem. Coach is okay, but I think he's in need of a costume change, if you catch my drift. A little more junk in the trunk than before. But, that whole 'we get distracted and then Bohemoth comes out and destroys us both from under the ring' thing didn't really work out for you I'm afraid. It started going wrong when he got smacked in the face with a cookie sheet and it's all been downhill from there I'm afraid, Christian. We're still standing... ALIX YEAH YEAH YEAH! KRISTA But, don't let that stop you hot stuff, keep those wagons rolling. What were you gonna say next, before you realised Big Bo done screwed up again? Was it something along the lines of now that we're 'beaten down' and 'left bloodied in the ring', you challenge our 'motionless carcasses' to a match at AngleMania, perhaps? Because if it wasn't, you might wanna consider doing a quick Cut, Copy, Paste and making those words your next, now that we've kinda screwed up your Plan A. Christian is caught in a mixture of fury and despair as he manages to hold back clearly tempting expletives. Taking some deep breaths, Christian calms himself down and turns back to the camera. WRIGHT Very well, Isadora Duncan. You continue to intice myself and my associate, hoping to acquire contractual obligations to compete with us, despite the potential risk to your physical well-being? Upon your peroxide filled heads be it! ALIX Uhm, I'm not actually blon... WRIGHT SILENCE! Enough of your infernal jabbering! You wish to challenge myself and Bohemoth to a contest, then we shall oblige you. We will not do so for your contentment, however, but FOR. YOUR. OWN. GOOD!! Finally, we shall put you Chicks Over Dicks out of your collective miseries. And we shall do it at the most grandious stage of them all, that being AngleMania V. You two foul, contemptable excuses for females will learn your final lesson at Trump Plaza Hotel and Casino and it shall be a painful, humiliating and above all a crushing one. And I wish to impart one last parting message upon you, for you to ponder during your awaitance of our meeting...your continual goading of myself and Bohemoth will not go unforgotten. You have tugged upon the lion's tail once too often. And you have bid good riddance to any lingering gender-related sympathies that I may have had, for I know now that there need be no remorse, for the ends shall justify the means! Point made, Wright storms off. Back in the ring, Krista smiles up at the now blank AngleTron and nods to herself in contentment, patting Alix on the back before they leave. Meanwhile, Bohemoth is still KOed on the floor, O'Hara beside him trying to bring the bigman back to his senses while Coach tries to give himself an external heart massage. COLE Well, how about that? Chicks Over Dicks just one-upped the Upstarts and now it will be Christian Wright and Bohemoth taking on The COD in 10 days time in Atlantic City, New Jersey! And that promises to be a most interesting encounter added to the already interesting card for next Sunday's uber-extravanganza, AngleMania V. CABOOSE Why is Coach still breathing? COLE Because you touch yourself at night. Shifting gears now, ladies and gentlemen. Two weeks ago, in front of a national television audience, Ned Blanchard and Simon Singleton stooped to a whole new level when they recorded themselves bullying Holly-Wood in her own home. Since the piece aired, which Ned Blanchard arrogantly entitled "Holly-Wood Inn," we haven't seen or heard from the Heavenly Rockers. Over the past two weeks OAOAST officials have unsuccessfully been trying to get comment from the group. Given what has happened it's understandable why the Heavenly Rockers and Holly-Wood have remained quiet. Just last night I managed to get in touch with Logan Mann and his girlfriend Holly-Wood, both of whom agreed to do a sit-down interview. It's the first time either one has really opened up about themselves. A must-see interview if you're a Heavenly Rockers fan or not. Please excuse the video quality, it's a bit dark and grainy since this interview happened on such short notice. Here now is the interview I conducted last night. We go from 18,000 people inside the arena to just 3 -- Cole, Logan and Holly -- inside the lavish "Saints and Sinners" TOUR BUS. The trio are sitting in the dining room area, a 19" plasma TV in the background. The impact of Simon's and Ned's tape still weighing on Lolly, as Holly is very reserved, staring down at the counter while Logan cannot remain still, constantly squirming and rubbing his chin. Not to mention, NO SYNTH. COLE Uh, first of all, I want to thank you both for taking time out on what I'm sure has been a very traumatic last couple of weeks. LOGAN (agitated) You think?! COLE (CONT'D) There are lots of questions and rumors that need to be addressed. I know this interview won't be easy for either one of you, especially when it comes to questions concerning the video shot by the New New Midnight Express, so I'll start by asking about the comment made by Ned Blanchard at the end of his and Simon's interview last Thursday night. Ned Blanchard made reference to a comment you made a while ago, Logan, when you said he and Simon had broken everything but the Heavenly Rockers spirit, then he brought out a guitar and said now they had literally taken it. LOGAN Spirit is probably the most sentimental item I have. Not only is it the first guitar I ever bought, but it's the object that brought Holly and I together. We couldn't stand each other when we first met. She was hot, but she was also a major...with lots of hugs and kisses, baby...bitch. She was always in this withdrawn and depressive state whereas Synth and I were free spirits, living life to its fullest. While Synth was off writing poetry, I would play a tune for Holly. Spirit always lifted me up, so I thought it could do the same for her. She didn't really care for my antics at first, saying I made her want to jump off a bridge, but over time it brought the two of us closer together. HOLLY It was one of the few real displays of kindess and sweetness a person has ever shown me. To know Spirit is in the hands of Ned...ugh...it just makes me wanna barf. COLE That brings me to AngleMania V. Logan, you're supposed to be apart of the tag team who will face the New New Midnight Express for the World tag team championship, but I don't see Synth around. This wouldn't have anything to do with Ned Blanchard's comments last week, about you and Holly "throwing him under the bus"? HOLLY Ned's a lying asshole! LOGAN Instead of getting pysched about AngleMania V, we gotta deal with the BS from Simon and Ned. We gotta deal with Synth not being here. It's like our world is cavin' in on us. Synth has always been sensitive. Maybe Ned's comments had an effect on him, maybe not. I wouldn't know because I haven't heard from the brother in days. He isn't at his crib. He isn't returning calls, e-mails, text messages, instant messages, Western Union telegrams -- he isn't reciprocating. Don't let Blanchard get in your head, bro. He tried to pull that shit on me with that goddamn video, but it didn't work. We go way back, Synth. Nobody threw you under the bus, bro. We've been through too much together for it to end like this, before the biggest match in our careers. Remember when we dropped out of school to pursure our dreams of becoming rockstars? Everybody thought we were crazy, including our parents. Hell, they kicked you out of the house. You had to sleep in the run-down basement of my family's home just to have a roof over your head. We busted our ass for years trying to hit it big, accepting every gig we could get so we could have enough money to buy us another week on the road. Like the time we played at a Klan rally. I probably wouldn't be standing here today if you didn't come up with the bright idea to have me wore a hood so they wouldn't know the lead singer was a black man. Heh. I can remember us signing our first record deal with Arista Records. I swear our heads balloned right after we signed on the dotted line. And it wasn't a reaction from all the drugs we took the night before either, but rather from our own sucess starting to get to our heads. It led to us having a bit of a falling out, one that forced Arista to stick us with our very first publicst, "Tuff Tony." God did we put the poor bastard through hell, Cole. Heh. The night before his birthday, Synth and I got him so hammered we shaved his ass hair and glued it to the top of his head. We figured he'd appreciate the gesture. I mean, the guy was balding by the second. Boy, were we wrong. The sucka ended up quitting on his b-day. Arista then placed us with a new publicst, Patrick O'Green. Irishman all the way, mate. Translation: a drunk. This guy is gonna love it with us, we thought. Wrong! P.O.G. ruled with an iron fist. But he got us on the right track. He was the one who suggested we try to crossover to another genre to help push our records. Having loved wrestling as kids, Synth and I told him we wanted to become professional wrestlers. The P-O-G hated the idea. The guy hated the sport. So now we hated him. Said we should go into cooking. Apparently he had a deal set with the Food Network to create a show combining music and food. But we wanted to wrestle. Then we got our big break. The OAOAST held an event in Las Vegas. Many of the guys came over to our concert the night before the show. That's where we met then-World tag team champions Black T. We had a good talk with them, leading to them offering us 10 grand and a shot at the tag titles if we could eliminated their rivals, the Global Party XChange. We jumped at the chance since they offered to train us as well. What a bunch of lying cocksuckers. They left us to be slaughtered. We won the first battle, but lost the war to the GPX. We floated around between our music and wrestling until Arista gave us our third publicst, Holly-Wood. As you can see, it's been a match made in heaven ever since. Logan winks at Holly, who rubs his hands lovingly. COLE It's also been a match made in hell, so to speak. Your relationship has made you the target of many, most notably Ned Blanchard. Which brings me to the video aired March 9th, "Holly-Wood Inn." HOLLY Don't ever refer to it by that name again. It's trash. LOGAN What about it? COLE Well, I'd like your thoughts. LOGAN My thoughts? You want my thoughts on a home video that shows my girlfriend getting pushed around?! What do you expect me to say, that I liked watching my girl get violated? Are you expecting me to give the video two thumbs up? Because I'll give a finger up. A middle finger! COLE I didn't mean it that way. People just want to know if what Ned said was true. HOLLY I already told you, Ned is a lying asshole. COLE So you didn't sleep with Ned to shield Logan from his and Simon's wrath? HOLLY Holly looks in Cole's eyes, as if she can't believe he actually had the nerve to ask the question. Before she can answer, Logan leans in and gets up in Cole's face. LOGAN You seconds away from being thrown out the window, Michael Cole. Next question! COLE I know it's difficult, Logan, but it's a legitimate question. LOGAN At an illegitimate time. Next question! COLE (clears throat) I respect your right to privacy, but it's the question... LOGAN Next question! COLE (CONT'D) ...on everybody's mind. Did Holly sleep with Ned? HOLLY Yes, I slept with Ned, goddamnit! Are you happy now? I slept with him, okay. I did what I thought would help benefit the group. COLE By sleeping with Ned? HOLLY It's my body. It's my life. Ned's not the only one who knows how to play mind games. COLE Mind games? Wha-- And you're okay with this, Logan? LOGAN (grabbing Cole by collar) Whaddya think?! (shoves Cole back up against seat; stares menachingly into camera) Ned and Simon, you talk about our feud starting in the winter of 2004 and how it'll end it in the spring of 2006. It's gonna end, believe me. It will end! By myself or with Synth, the road to AngleMania has been a grueling one, but all the motivation I need is next to me. All I have to do is think about all the bad things you've done not just to the Heavenly Rockers but to Holly as well. You may have thought going to Holly's place and having your way would get in my head. It's in my head, all right, along with the images of your faces covered in blood! You've awoken the wild child in Logan Mann. COLE Wait a minute. You don't mean the "Wild Child," do you? LOGAN By the sound of it, you've seem to have heard what the "Wild Child" is all about, Michael Cole. COLE I've heard the stories. The wild parties, the trashing of hotel rooms, the unpredictability. LOGAN Ex-act-ly! I was unpredictable! And unpredictable I will be come AngleMania V. Blanchard, you went far and beyond the line of competition. You've made this personal. So seething with sin and raidating with hate, I challenge you to a Loser Leaves Town match! That's right. The loser of the tag title match at AngleMania must leave the OAOAST. You've taken a lot from me over the last year. Uh-huh. But at AngleMania I'm gonna take a lot from YOU. I'm gonna take your blood, rearrange your face and take your World tag team titles. You say you're gonna end the war, then put the stipulation in the contract. The losing team is gone forever. I'll fight you both if I have to. I don't care. It's gotta end one way or another. And it'll end April 2nd at AngleMania V. Victory is mine sayeth "Wild Child" Logan Mann by way of Stewie! VICTORY IS MINE! Logan RIPS off the clip-on mic and storms out of the tour bus with Holly as we fade out. NEXT: Drek speaks. Oh yes. Commercial break Lightning bolts fill the blue screen. Dramatic, ominous music plays. A deep voiced man saids, "The greatest 24/7 Championship reign ever!" Suddenly, lightning strikes. "Know Your Role '99" begins playing, while words appear in big, blocky, gold letters: THA PUERTO RICAN'S 24/7 TITLE REIGN HIGHLIGHTS "Know Your Role '99" continues playing as we get the third set of highlights. OAOAST ANGLESLAM 2005 SUNDAY AUGUST 28, 2005 "THE CORPORATE CHAMPION" THA PUERTO RICAN VS. OTAKU II COLE Tha Puerto Rican has arrived, and, let me just say, that PRL getting his own 24/7 Title belt is just disgusting! CABOOSE Oh relax, Cole. I think it’s great. PRL is so damn awesome; he gets his own title belt. And look at that belt! Vitamin X spent a lot of money on it! PRL looks at the crowd with a smirk on his face, wearing his Puerto Rico flag facepaint. He is carrying his NEW custom made, diamond encrusted 24/7 Championship belt over his right shoulder. (CLIP) PRL and Otaku II engage in a staredown. The crowd is hot, cheering like mad. PRL jaw jacks Otaku. (CLIP) PRL grabs a headlock, and then goes behind Otaku, grabbing his legs to bring him down to the mat. (CLIP) PRL kicks Otaku in the gut, and then nails him with several European Uppercuts. (CLIP) P.R. scratches Otaku’s eyes, breaking the hold, and then grabs Otaku by his tights and throws him through the ropes out of the ring! (CLIP) PR then picks Otaku up and drops him on the barricade. (CLIP) PRL slams Otaku’s head on the announcer’s table. He does it two more times, and then drops Otaku’s neck on the table. (CLIP) Tha Puerto Rican grabs Cole’s water bottle. He drinks from it, and then waits for Otaku to get up. AQUAFINA SPEW OF DOOM~!!! (CLIP) P.R. picks up Otaku and whips him into the ropes. Tilt-A-Whirl backbreaker! (CLIP) He tries for a third roaring elbow, but PRL ducks underneath it, and grabs Otaku from behind. PRL turns Otaku around, and then hooks Otaku…for the Latin Slam! (CLIP) P.R. sneers at Otaku, and then leaps off, doing the “Up yours!” hand gesture in mid-air. The Corporate Elbowdrop! (CLIP) Tha Puerto Rican leaps onto the top rope and does a Springboard 450 Splash on Otaku II! The San Juan Jam! (CLIP) Once Otaku is on his knees, PRL runs towards him, and gives him a Shining Wizard! Otaku crumbles onto the mat like a sack of bricks. PR poses in the center of the ring. (CLIP) Puerto grabs Otaku’s right leg…and applies an anklelock, holding the leg with his right hand, and twisting the ankle with his left! COACH The anklelock! (CLIP) KICK WHAM CORPORATE NIGHTMARE! COLE The Corporate Nightmare connects! CABOOSE AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!! The crowds boos get louder by the second. “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican covers Otaku II, hooking Otaku’s right leg. COLE Not like this! Not like this! 1… 2… 2 ½ 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *DING DING DING* (14:30) (CLIP) PRL smiles his evil smile and laughs his evil laugh. The crowd boos. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of this match…and STILL One And Only AngleSault Thread Twenty-Four/Seven Champion…”The Corporate Champion” THA PUERTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RIIIIIIIIIIIICCCCCCCCCCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNN!!! “Know Your Role ‘99” begins playing. PRL laughs at the fallen Otaku II. Referee Brian Herbner hands him his 24/7 Championship belt. (CLIP) He raises his 24/7 Championship belt over his head. PRL taunts Otaku II some more, and then spins the belt plate again. (CLIP) PRL heads to the turnbuckle and raises his belt over his head. PRL sneers at the crowd. He looks at the just-getting-up Otaku, and kicks him in the stomach. PRL kicks Otaku out of the ring. THA PUERTO RICAN'S 24/7 TITLE REIGN HIGHLIGHTS title card appears again. "Know Your Role '99" ends. The OAOAST HeldDOWN~! logo flashes across the screen. COLE We'll ignore the blatant editing on that highlights package and move on to the next segment! Edited March 24, 2006 by Tony149 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted March 24, 2006 (edited) The arena lights dim, heralding that somebody is ready to make his way to the ring. Woke Up This Morning… Got Yourself A Gun… Mama Always Said You’d Be… The Chosen One… A DEAFENING combination of cheers and jeers rise up from the crowd as Drek Stone steps out through the curtains with a smile on his face. COACH Here we go! This is what I came to see tonight! CABOOSE It’s a shame we couldn’t get lucky with his absence like we did last week. Striding confidently down the aisle, Drek immediately climbs the steps and enters through the ropes. He’s not playing around with the fans tonight. Rather, it’s all about business here. COLE Drek Stone has been hyping this up for the past few days. He says he’s going to answer all the questions tonight. And folks, despite the Pandora’s Box this interview may open up, I have to say that I’m seriously looking forward to it. Michael Cole needs to realize nobody cares what he thinks. With his free hand, Drek pounds his chest twice, then hoists his fist high into the air. Showers of red, white, and green sparks launch from all four corners as he looks to the sky defiantly for a moment. COACH See that? The man hasn’t lost a step! As the strains of his goombah theme music start to wane, Drek taps the microphone lightly, indicating that he’s ready to speak. Amazingly enough, for perhaps the first time in his entire career, this action works as the fans quiet down, eager to hear with this controversial superstar has to say. DREK Yeah, I’m back. “YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!” “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!” Yet another mixed reaction rises up from the crowd as Drek laughs to himself before continuing. DREK First off, I just want to apologize for last week. There were some contract disputes Hoff and I had to take care of. Apparently, there are some legal complications with stepping into a wrestling ring and taking down one of the biggest tag teams in wrestling history without holding some sort of binding contract with the company. So yeah, mistake on my part. COACH See, he had a valid excuse for missing last week. CABOOSE I still say he went into hiding like a mafia rat. DREK But I got those issues hammered out. Hoff and I both did. And I think you all will be happy to know that in the process of settling these issues, we came to an agreement….concerning AngleMania. An anticipated roar rises up from the crowd as Drek flashes a quick smile. DREK Ah, yes. AngleMania V. Believe it or not, we are only TEN days away from the biggest event of the year. And poor me. I still don’t have a match. Last year, I became the first man to ever step into AngleMania and successfully defend the Heavyweight Championship against the amazingly talented and ruggedly handsome Hoff. Of course, I lost the belt to Axel later on that night, but it doesn’t change the fact that AngleMania IV was a history making night for me. So it seems a shame that, at this point, I still don’t have a match for the event. He takes the time to look out at the crowd for a moment before continuing. DREK Or do I? A mixed cheer breaks out in the building as Drek ignores the fans and continues talking. DREK When I settled my contract negotiations last week, I came to an agreement with General Manager Axel on what my role would be at AngleMania. And after the events two weeks ago, it seems only natural that he came to the same agreement I did. That Hoff did. Folks, AngleMania V is going to be a history making night. For the second year in a row, I am going to do something that has never been seen before. COACH Oh baby! Here it comes! DREK For the first time in history, Hoff and I are going to be teaming up. It’s going to be DREK STONE and HOFF! And we’re going to be facing none other than TONY BRANNIGAN and DAN BLACK! “YEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!” DREK That’s right. It’s going to be a night of firsts. The first time I ever team up with Hoff. The first time I ever square off with either Tony Brannigan or Dan Black in the ring. And the absolute FIRST and ONLY time you will ever see Black T humiliated and dismantled in that ring the way Hoff and I know how to do it! COACH Black T vs. Drek Stone and Hoff at AngleMania V! Nice! COLE What an announcement! CABOOSE Oh, I can’t wait to see Black T finally get their hands on these assholes. The crowd, excited at this announcement, start to cheer for Drek’s AngleMania opponents to no avail. “WE-WANT-BLACK-T” *CLAP! CLAP! CLAP CLAP CLAP!* “WE-WANT-BLACK-T” *CLAP! CLAP! CLAP CLAP CLAP!* DREK Oh, how quickly my fan support just disappears. Now, while I’m out here, I figure there are a few matters I need to discuss. I know that my return has sparked a lot – and I mean, a LOT – of controversy. From the guys in the locker room to the fans on the Internet. And especially YOU at the announcing booth! The fans in the crowd immediately turn their necks to look at the announcing booth and figure out who Drek is talking about. Meanwhile, he has already stepped out of the ring and started stomping towards Triple C. DREK You know what Caboose, I am so god damn sick and tired of hearing you run your mouth. The fans gasp as Caboose quickly rises to his feet before Drek can get there. DREK You haven’t stayed quiet ever since I decided to quit the OAOAST. And when I came back two weeks ago, you couldn’t HELP but continue to try and bash me over my history. If you have a problem… He moves nose-to-nose with Caboose who hasn’t moved a muscle since he rose out of his chair. DREK I suggest you say it to my face! I always thought you and I had an understanding relationship with one another. I showed you respect. You showered me with praise. But this pathetic Civil War thing you continue to fight in has made you soft. It has made you disrespectful! And WORST OF ALL… Drek rears back and SLAPS the headphones off Caboose’s head, shocking the fans in attendance. Caboose recoils in surprise as Drek looks down on him with absolute contempt. DREK You have REALLY pissed me off. I REFUSE to sit here and listen to another person bitch about me behind my back. You have something to say, I want you to SAY IT to my face! You got that? DO YOU HEAR… With surprising speed, Caboose yanks the microphone out of Drek’s hand and gives him a hard shove away from his face. CABOOSE Who the hell do you think you are? If you EVER lay another hand on me, I PROMISE YOU, I will have you sitting at the bottom of the Mississippi River with a pair of concrete shoes. Do I make myself clear?! The crowd starts rabidly cheering as Caboose continues to scowl at Drek Stone. CABOOSE I’m not going to sit here and justify myself to you. I don’t approve of how you left this place, I don’t approve of what you have done since you came back, and I DAMN WELL do not approve of you! Drek, you disgust me! Another cheer rises as Drek starts jawing back at the legendary announcer. CABOOSE I’m not going to sit here and bitch about you behind your back. I make my comments in front of millions of people every single week. And I’ll make my comments and ask my questions right in front of your face. Why Black T, huh? We know who you have had your problems with. Why decide to attack Tony and Dan and do it in such a cowardly fashion? And why in the hell do you think you’re allowed to just step back into the OAOAST and act as though you’re still running things here. Do you…. Drek angrily yanks the microphone out of Caboose’s grip and moves face-to-face with his enemy again. DREK I don’t answer myself to you. COLE Caboose, calm down… DREK Shut your mouth, Michael Cole! Cole looks up at the outraged superstar with a look of fear before turning his gaze back to his notes. DREK I’ll answer your questions. I sure as hell don’t have to, but I will. Why did I choose to attack Black T? I’ll lay it out for you, Boose. I attacked Black T because they represent everything that is wrong with the OAOAST today. They represent EVERYTHING that has tortured me from the second I decided to leave this defunct, stale organization. I did more for the OAOAST than those two have ever done. I was the Heavyweight Champion for four months. I brought this place ratings! I brought this place buyrates! I brought this place merchandise! I headlined the largest drawing Pay-Per-View in history at AngleMania IV. I did everything I could ever have been asked to do! But when I left…I was buried. And these two were built up as if they were the TRUE patriots of the OAOAST. As if they were the saviors. My name was trampled upon, and I had to stand by and idly watch as these two received accolades they didn’t even deserve! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” The largest amount of boos Drek has heard since he made his return have started to rise up from the crowd, but Drek is too in-the-zone to bother paying attention. DREK Excuse my language, but I promised this would be uncensored. In his career here, Tony Brannigan hasn’t done SHIT! He hasn’t done a damn thing worth any value. People, his career highlight is that he managed to hold the Heavyweight Title for three weeks! THREE WEEKS! And the only reason he even did that was because he got help from CWM! He could never do the job himself! And Dan Black has done even less! You and Tony, for all the credit you’ve been given for reviving the Tag Team division here….you two have only held the title twice! And one of them was a bullshit reign you had with Zack! You’ve gotten your asses kicked by the finest teams the wrestling world has ever known, and you practically have no title reigns to show for it! I’ve been the Heavyweight Champion for four months! I held the Italian Championship! I’ve competed and won in I-Quit matches, No-Holds-Barred, Elimination Chamber. I’ve done it all! And I don’t get HALF the credit either of you two do! You two get legendary status and I get people threatening to spit on my grave! At this point, Drek turns back to Caboose. DREK I came back to right a wrong. I came back to prove something to EVERY single person sitting in those seats and watching at home. Black T tried to piggyback on my controversy. They tried to use MY decision to leave as a way to paint themselves as LEGENDS and as SAVIORS. A bunch of people did. Well, I WON’T STAND FOR IT! I won’t let these people greedily try to steal the credit I deserve! I won’t stand on the sidelines and watch Tony and Dan put themselves in the record books as legends at my expense! I’m back and I’m going to SQUASH this thing before it can go any further! CABOOSE So this is all about you? DREK You’re damn right this is all about me! Tony Brannigan and Dan Black symbolize everybody that has tried to ruin my legacy since I left here. It’s not happening. When I gave Black the StoneCutter….when Hoff spinebustered Tony off the top rope….we were sending a message. We’re coming back to seize our legendary status before people like Tony and Dan piss it away forever! With a look of disgust, Drek looks at Caboose one last time before slowly stepping away. DREK At AngleMania V, when the dust is settled, you all will finally witness with your own eyes what I have been trying to tell you tonight. Tony and Dan are shams. They’re nobodies. They’re people who have been given far more credit than they even deserve. And Hoff? Myself? We’re the people this federation was meant to be built upon. We get results. Black T just try to capitalize on them. Once again, Drek has now entered the ring, despite looking almost finished with his interview. DREK So that’s why I came back. That’s why I attacked Black T. And Hoff wants exactly the same thing I do, so that’s why I aligned with him. But ladies and gentlemen, there is still one more matter to address. COLE Oh no. COACH Is he really going to? DREK The story of why I came back wouldn’t be complete unless I addressed one more point. COLE Don’t do it. DREK I’m going to lay it out here right now, regardless of what the guys in the back told me to ignore speaking about at all costs. Zack Malibu, you can go to hell! “OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!” The crowd lets out a huge gasp as Triple C sit at the broadcast booth shaking their heads. COLE This isn’t going to lead to anything good. COACH Oh, it will. It will lead to the truth. DREK You’re a snake. You’re the type of guy that tries to put out this façade that you’re Mr. Friendly and Fun-Loving Zack Malibu. But deep down inside of you, you’re angry. And you’re petty. And you’re insecure. I decided to make my return two weeks ago to settle some personal business with Tony Brannigan and Dan Black. It had NOTHING to do with you. And still, you felt the need to trash my name from the second I stepped into the FedEx Arena. But you won’t do in a personal fashion, face-to-face, just me and you. Oh no. You won’t even do it in a forum I have access to and thus can defend myself. You only bash me in the privacy of your own locker room – in a secret meeting with Tony Brannigan, and Dan Black, and Leon Rodez, and Stephen Joseph. A meeting I supposedly don’t know about. You sit there and you call me a douchebag and talk about how I should never be allowed back in the OAOAST because I never apologized. Zack, the only apology I would EVER give you would be accompanied by my foot up your ass! A huge mixed reaction of cheers and boos break out as Drek angrily looks out at the crowd. CABOOSE Oh, jeez. COACH It was only a matter of time before this situation exploded. DREK Your hypocrisy is mind-boggling. For MONTHS after I left the OAOAST, I stood quiet about this matter. Yes, privately, I grumbled to Hoff and Axel that I didn’t like the direction the federation was taking and I ESPECIALLY didn’t like the bury job I received the night I stepped away from the OAOAST. But publicly, I stayed tight-lipped. I didn’t see the need to bring my problems to the forefront. I thought I could just quietly walk away, maybe with the hope of coming back at another time and picking up where I left off. Zack, deny this all you want, but I want you to look at this objectively. I never sat there and, in front of everybody, attacked your character or the contributions you made for this federation. As much as I didn’t like you, I still respected you enough to at least give you that courtesy. But did you do the same? There’s a pause as Drek allows the question to sink in. DREK Think about it, Zack. Despite the fact that you disagreed with my decision, did you offer me the same courtesy? Hell no, you didn’t! I know Leon Rodez didn’t agree with what I did, but he refrained from publicly commenting. Same with people like Stephen Joseph. But you didn’t. You continually trashed me for months! Mentioning me in segments that had nothing to do with me. Making comments to Axel that you would never work again with a piece of trash like me. And NOW you’re going to act as if I’m the wrong one in this situation?! I managed to let go of my grudge – gave you the courtesy to avoid slandering your name every opportunity I got -- but you couldn’t do the same. You never could. I said long ago that I wanted to come back to the OAOAST and settle my issues with you man-to-man. Hell, we even could have settled it in the middle of the ring at AngleMania if I had my wish. Made some good money while we beat the hell out of each other. But you wouldn’t. You just continued to bash me behind my back, completely ignoring any attempts I made to bury the hatchet. Zack, you said long ago that we would never see Drek Stone step into an OAOAST ring ever again. Well baby, here I am. If you’re going to express your anger and come out swinging, do it like a man – instead of a little bitch! “OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!” COACH Thems are fightin words, lemme tell you. DREK A few days ago, I announced I was going to come out and cut this promo to explain the situation surrounding me. I knew you would disapprove from the second I announced it. But did I expect you to give me a phone call and let me know? No. Did I expect you to come up to me in the locker room and express your anger? No. Did I expect you to drop a DAMN letter in my mailbox? Hell no. I knew you would bitch behind my back like you always do. To try to rally the troops behind you and say “But wah, guys, we agreed no one would ever go out with a live mic again and bash us and I’m not standing for this” and you cried your eyes out hoping someone would stand up and say “Yeah Zack, we need to fight this evil son of a bitch!” But no Zack, it didn’t happen. And I’ll tell you exactly why it didn’t. Everybody in this entire federation, with the exception of you, realize it’s time for you to grow the HELL up. Right now, you’re diseased with immaturity. Well, consider this your taste of medicine. Zack, I’m your surgeon. I can save you if you let me. I would be willing, at this very instance in fact, to bury the hatchet and end this war between me and you. The only question is whether or not you’d be willing to do the same. The ball’s in your court, buddy. You’ve gotten your feelings off your chest for months now about me. Well, finally, I’ve managed to do the same. COLE I can’t tell. Is Drek really being genuine about what he’s saying tonight? DREK There could have been a lot more I could have said here. I could have ruined you with this promo. But I didn’t. I held off. I only said what I felt I needed to say. If this isn’t an indication that I’m willing to end this god damn stupid war, then I don’t know what is. Drek takes a second to pause and look out at the crowd before continuing. DREK So there. I hope everybody has the stuff they wanted to hear. Do I like Zack Malibu? Hell no. But do I think him and I can coexist peacefully without petty sniping between the two of us? I think so. Is he going to take my offer? I don’t think so. I think he’ll continue to call me an asshole and this and that, but I’ll be pleasantly surprised if we could put this behind us. But folks, make no mistake….. Drek leans against the ropes and looks intensely into the crowd. DREK This doesn’t mean I won’t slap the piss out of his mouth if the opportunity presents itself. “OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!” COLE Strong, strong words. DREK That really was just something I needed to get off my chest. I’ve said my peace. But remember, you all wanted me back. You all couldn’t wait until I revealed the truth! Well, you got exactly what you wanted. I promised and I….. “YEAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!” The crowd suddenly explodes as Drek Stone is brought down with a big tackle, smacking his head against the bottom turnbuckle! COACH Oh my God! The fans rabidly cheer as the man who just attacked Drek continues to SLAM a hard series of forearms against the head of the supposed traitor. Drek tries to shield himself but to no avail as the attacker continues to pound away with fury. In the midst of his rage, the man picks up his head, giving the crowd a full view of his identity COACH Oh no! Is that…? COLE That’s Tony Brannigan! CABOOSE YES! Finally we’ll see Drek Stone get what he deserves! Drek attempts to squirm his way underneath the bottom rope, but Tony isn’t having any of it. Clasping his hands around Stone’s throat, he begins choking the former Heavyweight Champion for dear life! COLE Drek Stone is in serious trouble! CABOOSE THIS is why you don’t mess with a man like Tony Brannigan! As he struggles to relieve the onslaught somewhat, Drek tries to weakly swing his arms at Tony, but to no avail. Tony keeps squeezing! Squeezing! SQUEEZING!! Until Hoff grabs a handful of Tony’s hair and yanks him off his new partner in crime! COACH Yes! That’s what I’m talking about! COLE Tony’s in serious trouble here! Dan Black has to still be locked up backstage! Hoff angrily muscles Tony back up to his feet – but gets a HARD right hand across the jaw! The fans scream excitedly as Tony fires ANOTHER punch across Hoff’s chin! And another! And another! Hoff looks to be shaky on his feet as Tony steps back…. ….and turns around to KNOCK Drek Stone off his feet with a clothesline! CABOOSE Tony’s on fire here! COLE He must have eyes in the back of his head! He saw Drek was ready to take him out and he nailed him! After knocking Drek down, Tony turns his attention back to Hoff – but gets a NASTY lariat across the throat from the big man! The force of the clothesline sends Tony spinning in mid air, eventually landing on his neck on the mat at a completely unnatural angle! “OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!” COACH That’s it. He’s dead. Massaging his throat tenderly, Drek glances at Hoff who is callously looking down at Tony with a slight smirk. He extends his hand out to Drek and helps him rise quickly back to his feet. COACH Now that’s teamwork! Both Drek Stone and Hoff stare at one another for a moment before looking back down at Tony. Finally, after a few seconds, it’s Drek who makes the first move. DREK Do it. With a smile, Hoff jerks Tony back up to a standing position. Gripping a hand around Tony’s throat now, Hoff lifts him up HIGH in a Gorilla Press position. COACH What’s he going to do here?! COLE I shudder to think! Hoff walks closer towards the ropes as Drek looks on in glee. He starts warning the fans sitting ringside to move away as quickly as possible. CABOOSE Ugh! They couldn’t…. COLE Is he going to throw Tony into the audience? COACH Having to TOUCH these fans?! That’s a fate worse than death! The fans start buzzing in anticipation as Hoff continues to hold Tony over his head. Drek starts nodding his head excitedly as Hoff gets ready to THROW Tony…. ….BUT SUDDENLY GETS A CHOP-BLOCK BEHIND THE KNEE FROM DAN BLACK! CABOOSE What the hell? COLE HOW DID DAN BLACK GET OUT HERE?! As Hoff’s leg buckles out from beneath him, he instinctively drops Tony Brannigan to the mat to take care of his immediate problem. With heavy trickles of blood running down his forehead, Black manages to spot Drek dashing towards him from the other side of the ring. But before Drek can get close enough, Black SWINGS the steel chair in his hand at him! Only inches from getting his face smacked with metal, Drek immediately falls to his chest and rolls out of the ring. COACH Go on, Drek! Get the hell out of there! As Drek scurries up the ramp, he forgot about leaving his AngleMania partner still in the ring. Nursing his knee, Hoff tries lifting himself up slowly – and is powerless to do anything as Black charges forward and… *CLANG!* …smacks Hoff across the head with the steel chair! “YEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!” The fans explode as Hoff instantly crumbles to the mat. On instinct, Drek begins running down the ramp but stops as he sees Black still standing strong with the chair in his hand. He starts backing up the entranceway slowly as Black screams at him to get in the ring. Knowing that Stone isn’t getting into the ring tonight, Black throws the chair over the top rope in a fit of rage! He then falls to his knees and checks on the condition of Tony Brannigan. COLE I can not believe how out of control this situation has gotten! At the top of the ramp, Drek Stone uneasily stares into the ring at his two opponents, shocked that this night has turned out like this. Meanwhile, all Hoff can do is hold his head and roll underneath the bottom rope, trying to get away from any more damage. CABOOSE But Cole, you can sign it up for AngleMania V! It’s official! For the first time ever, Drek Stone and Hoff will be teaming up to take on Black T! COACH Oh, I can’t wait for that! CABOOSE Believe me. Neither can I. We slowly fade away as Black and Tony make their way back to their feet in the ring. Tony still holding the back of his head. Black’s face stained with crimson. Both staring daggers at their AngleMania opponent on the ramp. And all Drek can do is stare back. Stare back. Planning his revenge. Yeah, I think we need another Commercial break OR yet another PR Moment! Lightning bolts fill the blue screen. Dramatic, ominous music plays. A deep voiced man saids, "The greatest 24/7 Championship reign ever!" Suddenly, lightning strikes. "Know Your Role '99" begins playing, while words appear in big, blocky, gold letters: THA PUERTO RICAN'S 24/7 TITLE REIGN HIGHLIGHTS "Know Your Role '99" continues playing as we get the fourth set of highlights. OAOAST HELDDOWN~! THURSDAY SEPTEMBER 8, 2005 "THE CORPORATE CHAMPION" THA PUERTO RICAN VS. THE MAD CAPPA COLE There is a lot of discussion on what is the greatest feud in OAOAST history. There is a lot of competition, but it could very well be the feud between the two men in the ring right now. Only time will tell. (CLIP) Tha Puerto Rican clips Cappa’s right leg, causing the challenger to fall to the mat! (CLIP) However, before he can move, Tha Puerto Rican charges, and clips Cappa’s right leg again! (CLIP) PRL picks Cappa up, and slams his head on the announcer’s table. Cappa lies on top of the table, so PRL lifts Cappa up by his right leg, and slams him back down. Nick Patrick tells PRL to stop, but PRL yells at him. PRL lifts Cappa up by his right leg, and slams him back down again. (CLIP) P.R. grabs Cappa’s right leg, and slams his right leg on the ring apron. COLE PRL is just zeroing in on that right leg. Puerto grabs Cappa’s legs, and pulls on them, causing Cappa’s crotch to meet the ringpost. PRL punches Cappa in the face. He then slams Cappa’s right leg on the ringpost. (CLIP) [The Mad Cappa] puts his head down, so PRL takes this as the perfect opportunity to grab Cappa and DRILL him with a Dangerous DDT! (CLIP) COLE Sharpshooter! Sharpshooter! (CLIP) The criss-crossing stops as The Mad Cappa and Tha Puerto Rican greet each other with the DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE OF DOOM~!!! (CLIP) Cappa goes for a clothesline again, but PRL ducks that, and bounces off the ropes with a flying clothesline! PRL kips up to a mixed reaction! (CLIP) KICK! WHAM! CAPPA KILLA!!! (CLIP) [Tha Puerto Rican] removes Cappa’s skullcap, spits on it, and throws it down on Cappa’s face. PRL then rips his Lightning Crew logo t-shirt off and throws it away. PRL does some weird hand signals, and then heads to the ropes, leaps over Cappa, and then bounces off the opposite ropes. PRL does several middle fingers in Cappa’s direction, and then drops the IntenseZone Elbow on The Mad Cappa! (CLIP) 1… 2… 2 ½ 2.999999999999999999999999999999 POPICK PULLS THE REFEREE OUT OF THE RING!!! (CLIP) KICK WHAM CORPORATE NIGHTMARE!!! COLE Tha Puerto Rican has finally hit the Corporate Nightmare! CABOOSE All right! I mean! Oh no! “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican covers The Mad Cappa. Referee Nick Patrick counts. 1… 2… 2 ½ 2.999999999999999999 3!!! *DING DING DING* (18:00) COLE Tha Puerto Rican defeats The Mad Cappa to retain the 24/7 Title! (CLIP) BUFFER Here is your winner…and STILL One And Only AngleSault Thread Twenty-Four/Seven Champion…”The Corporate Champion” THA PUERTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RIIIIIIIIICCCCCCCCCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!! COLE Another chapter in the classic Mad Cappa/PRL rivalry has been written, and this chapter ends with Tha Puerto Rican on top! COACH For the first time since May 27, 2003, Tha Puerto Rican has pinned The Mad Cappa, and he retains his OAOAST 24/7 Title as a result! Stephen Joseph Popick jumps up and down on the outside. He grabs the spinner 24/7 Title belt that PRL threw to the outside and turns his direction to one of the cameras. POPICK PRL IS GOING TO BE THE 24/7 CHAMPION FOREVER! COLE Well, with the way PRL is going, that may just be true! Referee Nick Patrick raises Tha Puerto Rican’s hands in victory. PRL smiles his sinister smile, and laughs at the fallen Mad Cappa, who is lying on the mat face down. Popick enters the ring, and hugs his client, and then hands him over PRL’s 24/7 Title belt. PR spins the belt plate, and then raises it over his head. (CLIP) PRL poses a’la The Rock on the fourth turnbuckle. He then gets off the turnbuckle, and stares at The Mad Cappa, who is getting helped by Nick Patrick. PRL laughs in his face, and raises the 24/7 Title over his body. Nick Patrick helps The Mad Cappa out of the ring. (CLIP) COLE We knew coming in that this would be an extraordinarily night that perhaps many of us would never ever forget. And the match we just saw is one of the reasons why. Tha Puerto Rican, in his fifth one-on-one meeting with The Mad Cappa, has defeated him to retain the 24/7 Championship. THA PUERTO RICAN'S 24/7 TITLE REIGN HIGHLIGHTS title card appears again. "Know Your Role '99" ends. The OAOAST HeldDOWN~! logo flashes across the screen. COLE Good thing they ignored Spanish Fly coming into the ring after the match and attacking Tha Puerto Rican! CABOOSE Shut up Cole. Edited March 24, 2006 by Tony149 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted March 24, 2006 (edited) The mish-mashed stylings of "Word Up" by Korn pound through the arena as we return to the Haitch Dee, accompanying the trio of The Triple Threat to the ring. The 6-Man Tag Team Champions Nick, Dick and Rick emerge onto the stage, all wearing their identical ring attire making them virtually indistinguishable from the others as they pull down their hoods in unison, holding three fingers to the sky. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall! On the way to the ring, being accompanied to the ring by his brothers Nick and Rick Garner. From Green Bay, Wisconsin...he weighs in at two hundred and twenty five pounds. One third of the OAOAST 6-Man World Tag Team Champions... DDIIIIIIIIIIIIICCKK GGAAAAARRRRRRNNEEEEERRRRRRRR!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Well this should be a tough test here for Garner, who's obviously used to the tag team environment, having to compete in singles action against a former X-Division Champion. But he hasn't come alone tonight. All three Garners are coming to the ring and I don't envy referee Nick Patrick tonight. COACH No doubt. The ref's gotta keep his eye on Dick and not get distracted by the other men around him. Otherwise, he's gonna lose sight of the Dick and he might get taken advantage of from behind. CABOOSE Kill me now. The Triple Threat enter the ring together and the confused referee asks for Nick and Rick to leave the ring. They oblige (assuming they are actually Nick and Rick), leaving Patrick to feel Dick up and down...for weapons. Check your inhibitions at the door people. *GOOOOONG!* "YEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!" "C'mon man" "DON'T CALL IT A COMEBACK..." The crowd jump to their feet and groove along to the sounds of "Mama Said Knock You Out" and the entrance of the former X-Division Champion, Leon Rodez. In a belated St. Patricks Day green, Rodez does a quick spin in the entrance to show off his shimmering robe before hand-slapping his way down the aisle. COLE And his opponent! Proudly hailing from Grand Rapids, Michigan and weighing two hundred, twenty eight pounds... "SILKY SMOOTH"... LLLLEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOONN RRRROOOOOOOOOODDEEEEEZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!! "YYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Vaulting to the ring apron, Rodez salutes his army of fans before springing into the ring. Rodez quickly disrobes and we see that the rib injury is still present, as tape is still wrapped around the injured body area. Meanwhile, Dick goes into conference with Nick and Rick on the outside, looking a little uncomfortable without his ever present fellow triplets on the apron with him. Removing his 6-Man Tag Title, Dick hands the gold to Rick (or Nick) and the triplets exchange and last series of encouraging high-fives before Dick turns to the centre of the ring and goes through some quick stretches. Across the ring Rodez comes up clear of weapons and jigs out of his corner, looking a little bemused by the fact that the Garners look EXACTLY ALIKE~ but shaking it off. COLE This is a last warm-up for Leon as he heads into AngleMania V, looking to finally dethrone Tha Puerto Rican of his 24/7 Championship. But you have to wonder how wise this is, taking up a match 10 days from AngleMania, considering the rib injury he suffered just two weeks ago. CABOOSE You don't need to wonder anything. It's a dumb move. Rodez is dumb. End of story. *DINGDINGDING!* The bell sounds and Rodez immediately skids across the mat, swiping out at the legs of Dick with and attempted sweep which Dick only just avoids. Rodez comes back up and the two men lock up. Grabbing a quick side headlock, Dick confidently smiles out at his brothers, apparantly feeling this singles match deal isn't a tough as people make out. His confidence is misplaced though, as Rodez fires off a forearm to the ribs. And a second. Rodez then backs Dick into the ropes and pushes him off the other side, striding in...only to get knocked down by Dick, who completes the patented Velocity opening sequence with a shoulder block (P.S, read my Velocity recaps on TSM, shill.). Smirking, Dick flexes his muscles as Rodez rolls to the ropes and favours his ribs. COACH Wow, look at those veins on Dick just throbbing out through the skin! What muscularity! Rodez accepts defeat and now offers up a knucklelock. Swatting the hand away, Dick grabs another side headlock and wrenches up on the head. Again Rodez goes to the ribs and sends Dick off, again giving him a running start. But this time, no shoulder block is coming as Rodez drops down and forces Dick to vault over top. On runs the 6-Man specialist and he rebounds off the ropes, right into a beautiful standing dropkick from Rodez, who dives straight into the cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Instinctively Dick scrambles across the ring and extends a hand for a tag. If there were anyone to tag it might be a smart move, but as it is it's pretty darned dumb. Rodez catches Dick in the corner, pulling him back by the tights and nailing Dick with a right hand! Rodez lands another...and another, before making a break for the ropes... ...and stumbling back, as one of the Garner triplets trips his leg from the outside! The crowd howl at referee Patrick to do something and despite not seeing what happened, he warns Nick and Rick anyway, while Dick takes out Rodez with a stiff clothesline! COLE I don't understand why Nick Patrick isn't throwing these two out of here. Their presence out here is going to be nothing but trouble out here and he should know that. CABOOSE Come on Mikey, they're triplets. Where one goes, so do the others. COLE They're not conjoined! CABOOSE No but they're close family. You didn't complain when we had Melody Nerdly sitting out here last week. COLE Yeah, but she wasn't interfering in the match like Rick and/or Nick. Dick rises to his feet and locks knuckles with the kneeling Rodez, pulling his arm away from his body and simply PUNTING Rodez in his injured ribs! Another punting kick finds it's mark and Rodez is writhing now, going into retreat as he shuffles backwards into the corner. Dick follows in and Leon desperately kicks out at him in defence. The boot gets swatted away though and Dick instead slams his boot into Leon's ribs. Nick and Rick shout encouragement as Dick begins to stomp a mudhole and walk it dry, bah gawd, putting the boots to Rodez until Patrick is forced to intervene. Dick backs off briefly, but once his warning is taken in, he brushes past Patrick and grabs Rodez by the legs. Instictively Rodez grabs the ropes but instead of pulling out, Dick pulls up, hurling Rodez upwards into the air and catching him on the way down with a Sitout Powerbomb! 1... 2... Kickout! Pulling Rodez to his feet with him, Dick drags Rodez to the centre of the ring. A scoop and a slam follows, before Dick begins his usual tactics of working on the legs, picking up Rodez's limp right leg and attempting to pull it from it's thigh socket! Despite the knee surgery being two years ago, Rodez still reacts in pain to the tugging at the knee, especially as Dick does it again. Folding up the leg, Dick then places Rodez's foot on the mat with his knee sticking upright...and double stomps down on the knee, compressing the rest of the leg underneath his 225 pound bodyweight!! "OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE What do you think PRL is thinking now that Dick's going after the leg suddenly and abandoning the injured ribs, 'Boose? CABOOSE I doubt PRL cares. Aside from the fact that he'll beat Rodez whether he's 40%, 60% or 100%, if Rodez has a bad knee he won't climb a ladder in 10 days. Dick now has a focus and stalks Rodez as he writhes on the canvas, stomping on the knee again. Dick then pulls Rodez back to his feet and ducks in at the side, folding Rodez's leg up again and this time hoisting him up, going for a shinbreaker. However, Rodez manages to shift his weight in mid-air and tumbles behind Garner, bringing him down with a sunset flip... 1... Dick rolls through and comes to his feet, spinning around Rodez's right leg and looking for a figure four leglock. A foot in the ass prevents that though and Dick is sent stumbling forward, crashing chest first into the turnbuckles in front of him. Back staggers Dick and Rodez shuffles around behind him, re-positioning himself to again take Dick down into a sunset flip pin... 1... 2... Kickout! Both men roll backwards and back to their feet. However, one of those men has a bad knee. And that bad knee causes Rodez to slow up momentarily, allowing Dick to capitalise with a basement dropkick that sends the right leg lurching out from underneath the Silky Smooth One! COACH Dick thrusting right through Rodez there with penetrative force! Rodez drops to one knee and nurses the bad leg, while Dick scrambles back up. Applying a front facelock, the 6-Man Tag Champion swings a clubbing forearm over the back of Leon to soften him up before taking him up and over with a crisp vertical suplex. "YOU'RE A DICK!" "YOU'RE A DICK!" "YOU'RE A DICK!" "YOU'RE A DICK!" The fans state the obvious and Dick isn't sure for a moment whether the chants are complimentary or derogatory. Of course, they're the latter and Dick eventually figures it out. Pulling Rodez back to his feet, Dick backs him into the corner and demands the crowd pipe down, as he buries a knee into the abdomen. Dick lands another two knees before then hooking Rodez's right leg over the middle rope. Too pre-occupied with his ribs to defend himself, Rodez is easy pickings as Dick hits the ropes beside the adjacent corner, charging across the ring with a facewash style kick right to the right leg!! Rodez promptly collapses to the mat and clutches his knee in agony, while Dick poses for the crowd. COLE At this rate Leon is going to have a real tough time at AngleMania V, because Dick is in control. CABOOSE At this rate, Rodez isn't even gonna make it to AngleMania V. Dick again brings the hobbling Rodez up and simply kicks him across the hamstring to drop him to one knee, giving him the opportunity to run the ropes. As he charges back though, Dick gets sidestepped by Rodez...and as he rebounds a second time, Rodez intercepts him with a desperation clothesline! Dick rolls out of the ring to collect his thought and his brothers gather around him, while referee Nick Patrick checks on the condition of Rodez and makes sure he's okay to continue. Rodez gives the thumbs up as Dick rolls back into the ring...looking suspiciously fresh and recovered as he suddenly jumps upon Rodez and pounds him to the ground with clubbing forearm after clubbing forearm. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Woah...woah, wait, is that Dick? CABOOSE You talking about the match or just daydreaming again? COLE The match! I think The Triple Threat just pulled a switcheroo! The referee seems none the wiset, but the fans nearest The Triple Threat certainly seem to be protesting about something. And one of the Garners on the floor is suspiciously nursing his neck, as 'Dick' now stomps away on the ribs of Rodez. Ignoring the protests from the referee, 'Dick' now hooks Rodez up in a front facelock and knees him in the gut, before hooking Rodez up in a gutwrench and twisting him around into a modified tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Rodez groans in pain, as 'Dick' hurriedly makes the pin... 1... 2... Kickout! COLE You can't tell me that that's Dick in the ring guys, there was obviously a switch! CABOOSE Oh, stop being so suspicious. Just because they look alike, doesn't mean you can discriminate against them. Dragging Leon nearer to the ropes, 'Dick' places a foot on the middle rope. After a quick pause to taunt the fans, he then springs up and gets big height on a kneedrop to the ribs! 'Dick' uses the middle rope as a launchpad to again drop the knee before going for a third. As he gets airborne though, a foot suddenly becomes lodged in his backside and is used to push him up, over the top rope and to the floor! Again the Garners at ringside gather around their fallen brother and Patrick again goes to check on Rodez. Suspecting something is up, Rodez doesn't wait around to allow a distraction though and instead uses Patrick as a way to pull himself to his feet, hobbling over to the ropes and propelling himself over the top rope with a pescado which wipes out all three of the Triple Threat!! "YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Oh! I think they all landed on Dick! They could have squashed Dick flat! "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" Rodez gingerly comes back up and fires up the fans before turning back to the 6-Man Tag Champions. Unsure of who is Dick, who is Nick and who is Rick, Rodez simply takes the nearest Garner to him and tosses him back into the ring. Patrick naturally assumes it's Dick and allows the action to continue, as Rodez slowly makes a climb to the apron and then up to the top rope. Pulling himself up in the middle of the ring, Dick turns around in search of Leon. He turns the wrong way though and allows Rodez time to steady himself up top and soar off with a Ricky Steamboat esque Crossbody Block, landing atop Dick with the cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Rolling away, Rodez pulls himself up in the corner. By the time he's to his feet though Rodez is forced to stop as the other two Garners enter the ring and help Dick back to his feet. Patrick orders the offending Garners out of the ring and seems to have everything under control. Until, that is, the Garners line up beside each other and begin to jink in and out of each other, eventually coming to a stop in a completely different line-up! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE What is this, a New York street corner!?! Stop with the games damnit! This isn't 3 card monty, this is wrestling! CABOOSE What's the problem? You've seen enough Dicks in your time to know what they look like Mikey, you go up there and tell Patrick who's who. COLE Don't you start! Rodez moves forward looking to attack but Patrick stops him because he's confused as to which Garner is which...but that allows one of the Garners, presumably Dick, to spring from the pack and charge at Rodez. However, he doesn't reckon on being backbody dropped by The Silky Smooth One! Seeing his brother in trouble, Rick now charges forward, but Rodez nails him with a right hand. And to complete the set, Nick runs into a back elbow that lands under the jaw and snaps the neck back, dropping Nick to the mat. All three Triple Threat members pull themselves up and Rodez boots the middle Garner in the gut before grabbing the other two Garners from the side and ramming the heads together with a TRIPLE Noggin Knocker~! Two of the Garners go down and those people with video footage can argue otherwise, but that leaves Dick in the ring with Rodez. CABOOSE Well, I'm lost. COLE Ditto. Groggy, Dick wobbles around on the spot and as a result he is wide open for a Jab! A jab! A jab! A jab! A jab! Leon turns to the fans and blows the kiss... COACH Dick looks a little flacid right about now... COLE Stop that! ...and Rodez LANDS the enziguriI! MAMA SAID KNOCK YOU OUT! Down goes Dick, bouncing off the canvas and rolling face-up as Rodez bounces off the ropes. Rodez's initial plan seems to be an elbowdrop, but for some reason he fakes out and goes back to the ropes. Much more leisurely this time, Rodez jigs back, shuffles the shoulders, brushes some dirt off and drops the fist right to the forehead! "YYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" CABOOSE HEY! COLE The 5 Knuckle Shuffle! And we all know who uses that move... CABOOSE Yeah, Tha Puerto Rican! I told you he was just a Puerto Rican wannabee, he stole that move from him! COLE Technically, PRL stole it from John Cena. CABOOSE Yeah well, nobody cares about that no talent hack, people will not stand for this disrespect of Tha Puerto Rican! Rodez pushes straight back up and now the pain in his ribs is at the back of his mind as he limps across the ring, crouching down and waiting for Dick to pull himself back up. Slowly the 6-man tag specialist does so and stumbles around looking for his opponent. As he finds said opponent, Dick desperately charges and looks to take Rodez's head off with a big clothesline. Rodez is well prepared however, ducking his head and catching Dick under the arm, hoisting him up and planting him with a Rock Bottom! Straight back up comes Rodez and now, it's time for the coup de grais as Leon kicks Dick's arm over his chest, pulls off his elbowpad and throws it into the crowd. The crowd go wild as Rodez does some weird hand gestures before hitting the ropes. There's the vault over, there's the rebound, Corporate Eyebrow...and The People's Elbow!! Dick quivers on the mat as Rodez pops back up and bows for the fans! CABOOSE DAMNIT MAKE IT STOP! COLE Hey, it's PRL Appreciation Night, maybe Leon's just showing his appreciation. CABOOSE The HELL he is! He's making a mockery out of Tha Puerto Rican! Not done yet, Rodez now drags Dick towards the corner and exits to the apron. Nick or Rick quickly jumps to the apron, but his wild charge at Rodez is evaded and he ends up running himself into the ringpost and toppling back to ringside! That allows Rodez to scale the turnbuckles and give the signal, before tumbling off with the 450 Splash to Dick, the cover not far behind... 1... 2... 3!!!! "YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" *DINGDINGDING!* The crowd erupt for Rodez as he cooly acknowledges his victory with a smile and a wink to two screaming blondes in the 3rd row. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner... "SILKY SMOOTH"... LEON RRRROOOODDEEEEEZZZZZZZ!! "YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Rodez rolls from the ring and pats one of the fallen Garners on his closely shaven head on his way back up the ramp, a slight limp still in his stride as he leaves. The fans continue to celebrate and Rodez gives them a last departing wave before he disappears back through the entrance doors, not hanging around now that his job is done. COLE Well I guess Leon has somewhere important to be. But consider the message sent, Caboose. Leon Rodez is going to AngleMania and he's got his sights set on Tha Puerto Rican and the 24/7 Championship! CABOOSE Well beating some 6-Man Tag wrestler out of his comfort zone isn't going to impress anyone, especially not Tha Puerto Rican. COLE What about the Rock Bottom, that was pretty impressive. CABOOSE It's not the Rock Bottom! It's the Latin Slam and it was a pale comparison compared to Tha Puerto Rican! Leon Rodez is a pale comparison! And the world is gonna find that out at AngleMania when Tha Puerto Rican climbs the Corporate Ladder and retains his 24/7 Championship. Beating Dick Garner is one thing. Beating PRL with the 24/7 Championship is a feat that no-one has accomplished. No-one! COLE And that may just change in 10 days time! CABOOSE Bah, you're just a mindless shill. COLE Now, it is time for an ANGLEMANIA MOMENT, brought to you by The Corpse Bride on DVD. AngleMania III: Tony The Body vs. Anglesault Tony is now seated on the cage trying to get some air in. Anglesault climbs up and hits a stiff one-arm clothesline, rocking Tony. The two exchange punches, on T-Bod's third attempt AS blocks it, forearm to the face. AS loosens one of the support wires and ties it around his waist, then he wraps his arms around Tony and...BELLY-TO-BELLY SUPLEX OFF THE CAGE! T-Bod bounces off the table, which still DIDN'T BREAK. "Anglesault!" chant kicks up. JESSE That is the toughest table I've ever seen. Bob Vila must've built it. J.R. I've seen it, and I still can't believe it! That was power, sheer power! With one leg over the cage Anglesault was able to execute a belly-to-belly suplex while managing to keep himself from falling. It takes incredible balance and power to pull off what he just did. Tightly holding his ribs, AS looks down from high above the cage in a state of shock, even he can't believe what just happened. After pausing for a moment AS turns his attention back to the match. His back facing towards the ring, he takes a long good look at the jumbotron where he sees the replay of the belly-to-belly, then jumps backwards...ANGLESAULT (Moonsault) from the top of the cage! THE TABLE FINALLY BREAKS! "Holy shit! Holy shit! Holy shit!" rings throughout the arena. J.R. Good God! Good God almighty! RIGHT NOW! C’mon, it’s everything RIGHT NOW, Catch a magic moment, do it Right here and now It means everything AngleMania V Next Sunday LIVE! On Pay Per View Lightning bolts fill the blue screen. Dramatic, ominous music plays. A deep voiced man saids, "The greatest 24/7 Championship reign ever!" Suddenly, lightning strikes. "Know Your Role '99" begins playing, while words appear in big, blocky, gold letters: THA PUERTO RICAN'S 24/7 TITLE REIGN HIGHLIGHTS "Know Your Role '99" continues playing as we get the fifth set of highlights. OAOAST WORLD WITHOUT END 2005 SUNDAY OCTOBER 30, 2005 "THE CORPORATE CHAMPION" THA PUERTO RICAN VS. SPANISH FLY COLE Right now, we are about to see the culmination of a feud, a rivalry that has been brewing since AngleSlam. For the first time ever in the OAOAST, Tha Puerto Rican and Spanish Fly will square off in a one-on-one match. And remember what PRL said last Thursday on HeldDOWN~!. He said that October 30, 2005 would be the worst day of Spanish Fly’s life. (CLIP) [Tha Puerto Rican] then grabs Spanish Fly’s legs and pulls him out of the ring. PRL then whips Fly into a barricade! COACH Tha Puerto Rican almost pulled Spanish Fly’s legs out from his body! (CLIP) PRL grabs Spanish Fly, and gives him a vertical suplex. PRL rolls through, and gives Fly a second vertical suplex. PRL rolls through a third time, and lifts Spanish Fly up for a vertical suplex. Tha Puerto Rican holds Spanish Fly up in the air for a few seconds, to let the blood rush to his head. The crowd applauds PRL. CABOOSE Oh man. Spanish Fly is so small; it’s easy for PRL to lift him up like that. Tha Puerto Rican does the “You can’t see me!” hand gesture while still holding onto Fly. PR walks over to the ropes, and drops Spanish Fly on the top rope, doing a slingshot suplex to complete the Corporate Trifecta. (CLIP) Fly heads to the ropes, leaps into the air, and grabs PRL, going for the Rube Goldberg Bulldog. Unfortunately for Fly, PRL counters that with a German Suplex! PRL gets up and pounds his chest, yelling out, “THE CHAMP IS HERE!” (CLIP) Tha Puerto Rican scoops Spanish Fly up, and brings him down to Earth with a soul crushing bodyslam! (CLIP) PRL picks up Spanish Fly. He applies the Che Guevara Special (Gory Guerrero Special) on Fly! (CLIP) PRL drops [spanish Fly] with the “Free Puerto Rico Now!” (Gory Bomb) (CLIP) Spanish Fly leaps onto the top rope. He springboards off the top, about to do a double axehandle… *KA-POW~!* …only to get kicked in the face with the SWEET CHIN MUSIC~! COLE Oh my God! That was incredible. An incredible move from Tha Puerto Rican! COACH He just superkicked Spanish Fly to next week! CABOOSE Yes. Yes. Yes. Go get ‘im PR! That was such quick thinking. That was just so brilliant. The only person who could do something like that is Tha Puerto Rican! COLE The Sweet Chin Music may have knocked out Spanish Fly. (CLIP) PRL Ahem! Ahem! (Cough!) (Cough!) Me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me! Ahem! Oompah Loompah Doopity Dah! The crowd laughs. While singing, PRL kicks Spanish Fly. PRL If you’re not smart Then you won’t go far Oompah Loompah Doopity Doo! Spanish Fly is just a big piece of poo! What do you get when you mess with P? Don’t you get it fool? You can’t see me! (Does hand gesture) You are as annoying as a rat! I should beat you with a baseball bat! But that won’t be very family friendly! Oompah Loompah Doopity Dah! If you’re not smart Then you won’t go far Oompah Loompah Doopity Dug! PRL will squash Spanish Fly like a bug! (CLIP) The Corporate Champ pulls Fly off his shoulders and slams him face first onto the mat! (CLIP) COLE That’s it! The Fly Swatter! Spanish Fly has done it! He’s going to win the 24/7 Title! Spanish Fly covers Tha Puerto Rican. Referee Earl Hebner counts. The crowd counts along with him. 1… 2… 2 ½ 2.9999999999999999999 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THA PUERTO RICAN KICKS OUT!!! COLE Oh My God! COACH PRL just kicked out of the Fly Swatter! He has just kicked out of Spanish Fly’s finisher! CABOOSE Ha! Ha! PRL just told Spanish Fly, “I don’t think so!” Spanish Fly is absolutely shocked. He argues with the ref, but Hebner still saids it was a two count. The crowd can’t believe it either. (CLIP) [spanish Fly] gets on PRL’s shoulders…and goes for the Frankensteiner! BUT PRL ESCAPES AND SPANISH FLY HITS THE MAT!!! PRL leaps off the second turnbuckle, and waits for Spanish Fly to get up. When he does, PRL kicks Fly in the stomach, puts him in a facelock, and grabs his leather pants. CORPORATE NIGHTMARE!!! COLE The Corporate Nightmare! PRL has just done the Corporate Nightmare on Spanish Fly! COACH Oh no. Spanish Fly is out. He’s out from the Corporate Nightmare! Look at him! The crowd boos. PR covers Spanish Fly, hooking the leg. Referee Earl Hebner counts. 1… 2… PRL picks up Spanish Fly! COLE What the? What the hell? What the hell was that? COACH Tha Puerto Rican stopped the count. COLE Why would he do that? Tha Puerto Rican has an evil smile on his face. He laughs evilly as he stands over the fallen Fly. The crowd starts booing loudly. PR taunts Fly one more time, then grabs Fly’s legs, puts his right leg between them, crosses Fly’s legs over it, and turns around, kneeling to apply the Sharpshooter! COLE And now the Sharpshooter! Why is PRL doing this? CABOOSE It’s because he wants to humiliate Fly! Why pin him with the Corporate Nightmare, when he can make Fly scream like a bitch and tap out in the middle of the ring. COACH The Sharpshooter is also one of Otaku’s finishing moves. You think PRL is sending a message to Otaku by doing this? By having Otaku’s friend and tag team partner submit to the Sharpshooter, one of his finishing moves? COLE I wouldn’t put it pass Tha Puerto Rican to do something like this. Tha Puerto Rican holds on to the Sharpshooter tight. Spanish Fly screams out loud, trying desperately to escape. The crowd rallies behind Spanish Fly, cheering him on. Referee Earl Hebner asks if Fly gives up. Fly shakes his head saying, “No.” Fly tries to reach the ropes, but he is in the middle of the ring. Finally, Spanish Fly can no longer take the punishment. He shows some hesitation, but then taps out! *DING DING DING* (10:15) (CLIP) Tha Puerto Rican is still holding on to the Sharpshooter! The bell has to be rung again, but PRL still won’t let go! Referee Earl Hebner orders PRL to let go, but PRL is enjoying applying the submission move on Fly. Spanish Fly taps out again and again! PRL Taste my pain, bitch! *DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING* (CLIP) PRL raises his hands in victory as “Know Your Role ‘99” starts playing. Spanish Fly clutches his legs, while Earl Hebner raises PRL’s hands. The crowd boos. BUFFER Here is your winner…and STILL One And Only AngleSault Thread Twenty-Four/Seven Champion, “The Corporate Champion” THA PUERTOOOOOOOOOO RICCCCCCCAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!! (CLIP) Referee Earl Hebner hands PRL his 24/7 Championship belt. PRL raises his belt over his head, annoying the crowd some more. Puerto spins the belt plate and laughs. He walks over to Spanish Fly, and jaw jacks him. (CLIP) PRL gets in Spanish Fly’s face, spinning the belt plate. He trash talks Fly and then raises his belt again. Tha Puerto Rican leaves the ring, placing his spinner 24/7 Championship belt over his left shoulder. PRL walks to the entrance, an evil smile on his face, as “Know Your Role ‘99” continues playing. THA PUERTO RICAN'S 24/7 TITLE REIGN HIGHLIGHTS title card appears again. "Know Your Role '99" ends. The OAOAST HeldDOWN~! logo flashes across the screen. Edited March 24, 2006 by Tony149 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted March 24, 2006 (edited) A piano plays a melody causing the crowd to cheer, and cheer loudly I might add. The lights go down in the arena, turning back in tune with the melody. DMX COME ON! *BOOM!* Pyro explodes, leaving behind fire that burns on both sides of the entrance stage. “Gasolina (Remix)” by Daddy Yankee featuring Lil’ Jon and Pitbull starts playing. The entrance doors slide open, and the crowd cheers loudly as Colombian Heat runs out onto the entrance stage. “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Colombian Heat gets the crowd fired up, jumping up and down and raising his hands to acknowledge the fans. Heat points to both sides of the entrance stage, a wide smile on his face, and then starts walking down the entrance ramp, slapping hands with the fans along the way. *DING DING DING* MICHAEL BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall, with a thirty minute TV time limit. Introducing first, coming to the ring at this time. Originally from Bogotá, Colombia, but now residing in Miami, Florida. Weighing 180 lbs. COLOMBIANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTT! Colombian Heat plays gets to the ringside area and plays to the camera. COLE Colombian Heat is set for singles action, as he prepares for his battle against Vitamin X in two weeks at AngleMania V! CABOOSE AngleMania V is going to be a great, great night for The Lightning Crew. In addition to Tha Puerto Rican retaining the 24/7 Title in the Ladder Match against Leon Rodez, Vitamin X, The X-Man, is going to absolutely DESTROY Colombian Heat and pin him 1-2-3 in the middle of the ring! COLE Well, how can you be so sure about that? Vitamin X hasn’t exactly WANTED to fight Heat. The only reason they will meet at AngleMania is because Heat defeated Cuban Wall two weeks ago. CABOOSE Well, Vitamin X hasn’t been prepared to fight Heat. But now he is. He has been in intensive training. Running, jogging, working out in his expensive gym, having “Exhibition” matches against fellow Lightning Crew members. By the time AngleMania V comes, Vitamin X will be 100% ready, mentally AND physically. Colombian Heat hops into the ring. Heat gets on the second rope and does the “WESTSIIIIIIIDE” hand signal, receiving cheers. Heat then gets on a second turnbuckle and throws up the “W” hand signal again, receiving more cheers as “Gasolina (Remix)” continues playing. COLE Colombian Heat is going to face another Lightning Crew member tonight; the 6’9” 300 pound Mr. Boricua! CABOOSE That’s a damn good choice for a match. Get Colombian Heat softened up before AngleMania. COLE Why? You don’t think Vitamin X can beat Colombian Heat if he’s 100%? CABOOSE No! Of course Vitamin X can beat Colombian Heat if he’s 100%. It’s just that it would help if Colombian Heat were given a disadvantage heading into AngleMania. COLE Oh I see. Colombian Heat gets off the second turnbuckle. He calls for a microphone and gets one. CABOOSE This is the part I always hate. COLOMBIAN HEAT Hey yo! Hey yo! Hey yo! “Gasolina (Remix)” by Daddy Yankee featuring Lil’ Jon and Pitbull dies down. The crowd cheers loudly. COLOMBIAN HEAT A’ight Salt Lake Ciz-zay! (CHEAP POP) HEAT If all of y’all are ready to see me make Mr. Boricua feel the Heat, then make some noise UP IN THIS— “BI-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATCH~!!!” “YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” CABOOSE Anybody got a vomit bag? COLE Caboose, pipe down. COLOMBIAN HEAT And yo, in 2 weeks time, at AngleMania V, I’s gonna do what should have been done a long time ago. Vitamin X, that punk ass jigger is gonna feel pain like he’s never felt pain before! I’s gonna show that fake ass rich boy how a thug does things around herre. Vitamin X, at AngleMania V in Atlantic City, youse definitely gonna feel the Heat! And I’ma gonna take all dat bling dat you wears, and I’ma gonna stick it straight up your corporate cornhole! The crowd cheers! Colombian Heat nods his head. HEAT Now bring dat big dummy down herre so I can show Vitamin X what’s he got comin’ to him at AngleMania! The crowd cheers again. Colombian Heat puts the microphone away. He bounces off the ropes, looking at the entrance. The crowd murmurs, waiting for Mr. Boricua to arrive. COLE Colombian Heat looks like he is ready for Vitamin X at AngleMania V! CABOOSE Colombian Heat is all talk, and no bite. He’s a thug, but a thug with no chance in hell of beating Vitamin X at AngleMania! He’s a Colombian HACK! “LIGHTNING CREW!” The opening to “No Chance In Hell” begins playing, causing the crowd to boo loudly. Smoke fills the entryway. The crescendo hits, and a lightning bolt hits the entrance. The crowd starts booing as “No Chance In Hell” by Bradley Royds begins playing. *No Chance (No chance) That’s what ya got! (Ha! Ha! Yeah) We’re up against no machine too strong (Too strong) Pussy politicians buying souls for us are…PUPPETS! (Puppets!)* The entrance doors slide open, and Mr. Boricua comes out, along with Vitamin X and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez right behind him. The crowd boos even louder than before. A Mexican flag is shown on the AngleTron waving proudly. Vitamin X is wearing a blue collar buttoned down shirt, a gold chain around his neck, a tan sports jacket, tan dress pants with a black belt, a $500 Rolex watch, and black dress shoes. X is carrying a dark blue gym bag. Mr. Boricua looks at the crowd with a sneer on his face. Mr. B grunts, snorts, and cracks his knuckles, and then walks down the entrance ramp, with Vitamin X talking to him and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez smirking at the crowd. BUFFER And his opponent. Accompanying to the ring by Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez and Vitamin X. From Tijuana, Mexico. Weighing in at 300 lbs. He is the bodyguard for The Lightning Crew. MISTER BORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIICCCCCCCCCCUUUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Mr. Boricua is still walking to the ring, his eyes focused on Colombian Heat, who stares back. COACH How is Colombian Heat going to be able to beat Mr. Boricua? I mean, he was able to beat Cuban Wall two weeks ago, but he was just lucky. That was a fluke. How can he beat the 6’9” monster? The Big Man of The Lightning Crew! COLE Well, I think Colombian Heat is going to have to use his speed and quickness to beat Boricua. He also is going to have to rely on his intelligence, because, well, Mr. Boricua ain’t the brightest bulb in the package. CABOOSE Don’t let Mr. Boricua hear you say that. He has feelings too you know. Mr. Boricua climbs onto the ring apron. He yells at the fans and then climbs over the top rope and into the ring as “No Chance In Hell” continues playing. Vitamin X and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez also enter the ring. A spotlight shines on Mr. Boricua. Boricua stands right next to the ropes in the center of the ring. He looks at Vitamin X and then at Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez. Together, the three Lightning Crew members do The Lightning Crew Salute to loud boos. COLE The Lightning Crew has been having quite the night. The LC are having “P.R. Appreciation Night”. So far, we’ve seen video packages highlighting PRL’s numerous 24/7 Title defenses, and later tonight, we have been promised a grand finale in the ring. COACH What a great night this has been so far. I have been enjoying “P.R. Appreciation Night”. I cannot wait for the grand finale in the ring later on tonight! Mr. Boricua poses on one of the turnbuckles to boos. He then high fives Vitamin X and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez. Colombian Heat is at a turnbuckle watching all of this. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez and Vitamin X exit the ring. While Lindsay stays at ringside, Vitamin X travels over to Sofa Central, gym bag in tow. COLE Hey, what’s this? CABOOSE It looks like Vitamin X is going to do commentary with us! All right! Vitamin X high fives Caboose. He takes a seat next to Michael Cole. He puts his gym bag down on the floor. VX puts his headset on. VITAMIN X All right. Testing. Testing. One. Two. Okay, I’m good. COLE (monotone) Vitamin X, how good to see you again. VITAMIN X Hey, I don’t want to see you either Michael Cole, but I have no choice. Just leave me alone, and let me watch Mr. Boricua kick the crap out of Colombian HACK two weeks before AngleMania! COLE Are you sure you know exactly what you’re getting yourself into at AngleMania? VX Michael, don’t worry. I know exactly what I’m doing. I’ve got Colombian Hack right where I want him, and at AngleMania, I WILL pin him 1-2-3 in the center of the ring after I hit him with the Leap Of Faith! COLE Okay. If you say so. Referee Mike Chioda checks on Mr. Boricua and Colombian Heat. He then calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* COLOMBIAN HEAT vs. MR. BORICUA The crowd is hot. Mr. Boricua engages in a staredown with Colombian Heat. Boricua yells at Heat. They lock up. Mr. Boricua knees Colombian Heat in the stomach. He knees him in the gut several times, and then nails him with the CLUBBERIN’~! THEY BE CLUBBERIN’~! forearms OF DOOM~! VITAMIN X LET’S GO MR. BORICUA! LET’S GO! Boricua punches Colombian Heat in the face. He throws him into a turnbuckle. Mr. B heads to the opposite corner, and then charges forward, squashing Colombian Heat with an avalanche! VX BOO-YAH~! Mr. Boricua grabs Colombian Heat. He scoops him up, and slams him down to the mat with a bodyslam! Mr. B eyes Heat, measuring him up for something. After a few seconds, Boricua charges forward, and nails Colombian Heat in the back of the head with a soccer kick! VITAMIN X Oh my! Oh yes! That’s it baby! Did you see that? Did you see what Mr. Boricua just did? He practically took Colombian Heat’s head off with that move! COLE Mr. Boricua and Cuban Wall defeated Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly at Zero Hour, and now, Mr. Boricua would like to beat Colombian Heat on his own tonight on HeldDOWN~! VX Well he IS going to beat Colombian Hack tonight on HeldDOWN~! Mr. Boricua does a legdrop on Colombian Heat. “HEAT! HEAT! HEAT! HEAT!” Mr. Boricua yells at the crowd for chanting, “HEAT!” Mr. Boricua picks up Heat. After punching him in the face several times, he whips Colombian Heat into the ropes. Mr. Boricua follows with a flying clothesline! VITAMIN X The big man got air on that one! Mr. Boricua covers Colombian Heat. 1… 2… SHOULDER UP! COLE That flying clothesline wasn’t enough to put Colombian Heat down for the count. VITAMIN X Pffft. He was just lucky. COME ON BORICUA! BEAT THAT PIECE OF LOWER CLASS FILTH! Boricua grabs Heat, and applies a rear headlock on him. Boricua yells at Heat, grunting, while the crowd cheers Heat on. VX There you go, Boricua. There you go. Squeeze the life out of him! Just squeeze the life out of that thug! SQUEEZE IT! Colombian Heat elbows Mr. Boricua in the face. He does it in rapid-fire succession, escaping the headlock. Colombian Heat bounces off the ropes… Right into a BIG BOOT from Mr. Boricua! COLE My God! The power of Mr. Boricua is in full display in this match! VITAMIN X HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! (Applauds Mr. Boricua) Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez also applauds Mr. Boricua. Boricua covers Colombian Heat. It gets two. Mr. Boricua picks up Colombian Heat. He scoops him up, takes him to a turnbuckle, and drops him with the snake eyes! Boricua follows that up with a sidewalk slam on Colombian Heat! VX Come on Boricua! Come on! Mr. Boricua decides that now is as a good time as ever to do something high risk. He exits the ring, and then climbs the top rope, causing the crowd to start murmuring, wondering what the hell is Mr. Boricua thinking. COLE What’s this? Mr. Boricua? Mr. Boricua is climbing the top rope? COACH What could he be thinking? CABOOSE If he hits something off the top rope, then this match is over. VITAMIN X That’s right CAB-O! Mr. Boricua is going to finish Colombian Heat off right now! He’s going to take his head right off! He’s going to— Mr. Boricua jumps off the top rope, going for a splash! BUT EATS COLOMBIAN HEAT’S RIGHT FOOT ON THE WAY DOWN! COLE Colombian Heat just saved himself with that one move! VX AWWW! Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez is worried on the outside. Colombian Heat and Mr. Boricua both lie on the mat, but both are getting up. COLE Who’s going to get up first? CABOOSE It’s going to be Mr. Boricua! It’s definitely going to be Mr. Boricua! The crowd is getting hot as Mr. Boricua and Colombian Heat get to their feet. They collide in the center of the ring. Mr. Boricua goes for a punch—BLOCKED by Colombian Heat! Punch! Punch! Punch! Punch! Punch! Colombian Heat Irish whips Mr. Boricua into the ropes. Mr. Boricua reverses, and Colombian Heat bounces off the ropes. Boricua goes for a clothesline, but Heat ducks! Colombian Heat punches Mr. Boricua in the face. He does it again! And again! Colombian Heat DANCES~! And then punches Mr. Boricua in the face a fourth time to complete the Shake, Rattle, & Roll. HOWEVER, Mr. Boricua DOESN’T fall! So Colombian Heat kicks Mr. Boricua in the stomach, and then bounces off the ropes, jumping up and nailing Mr. Boricua in the head with a leg lariat knocking him down to the mat! “YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE Mr. Boricua has been taken down to the mat for the first time in this match! VITAMIN X OH NO! OH NO! MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ COME ON, BORICUA! CH looks to the crowd, and then bounces off the ropes. Heat does a SHIMMY~! and then drops a knee onto Mr. Boricua’s forehead. The Shaky Leg Kneedrop! Colombian Heat covers Mr. Boricua. 1… 2… Mr. Boricua THROWS Colombian Heat off of him! VITAMIN X Oh boy. You done pissed him off now! Mr. Boricua gets up, slower than usual. Colombian Heat waits for him to get up. When he does, Heat bounces off the ropes…into a GOOZLE from Mr. Boricua! AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHTHECHOKESLAM!!! COLE Chokeslam! Chokeslam on Colombian Heat! VX YEAH-UH! CABOOSE Look at Colombian Heat! Look at him convulsing like the piece of lower class filth that he is! VITAMIN X Hey. Just like what my shirt says. He's Colombian HACK. A piece of lower class filth. COLE How much did you pay to make that shirt? $3.50? VX $1.50—HEY WAIT A MINUTE! Mr. Boricua stops to pose for the fans. Who boo. Boricua yells at Colombian Heat, grunts, snorts, and cracks his knuckles. He laughs at Heat, who is still on the mat. Boricua picks up the weakened Colombian Heat. Heat’s eyes are glazed over. Boricua whips Colombian Heat into a turnbuckle (taking off his Colombian flag bandana in the process). Mr. Boricua heads to the opposite turnbuckle. The crowd starts buzzing, fearing for Colombian Heat’s safety. VITAMIN X All right. That’s it! Here we go! This is the end! Goodbye Colombian HACK! Mr. Boricua charges forward…but Colombian Heat moves out of the way! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Mr. Boricua hits the turnbuckle back first. Colombian Heat unleashes a combination of punches and chops to Mr. Boricua causing the crowd to get hotter and hotter. COLE Look at Colombian Heat, manhandling the 6 foot 9 Mr. Boricua! Heat then switches to his martial arts kicks, nailing Boricua with martial arts kicks all over his body. Heat finishes with a jumping back kick to Mr. Boricua’s jaw, knocking him down to the mat. Mr. Boricua’s head rests on the bottom turnbuckle, causing the crowd to cheer loudly. COLE Oh my! Could it be Broncobuster time! *THUD* COLE X, where are you going? Colombian Heat gets the crowd fired up, a wide smile on his face. He heads to the opposite turnbuckle, and does the “low rider” hand gesture. Meanwhile, Vitamin X is creeping towards the ring. “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” But is stopped from doing any harm when OTAKU II runs down the entrance ramp! VITAMIN X Wuh-oh. COLE Otaku II, Vitamin X’s old archrival, is out here to stop Vitamin X from interfering in this matchup! Otaku II stalks Vitamin X around the ringside area. As this is going on, Colombian Heat charges forward, and gives Mr. Boricua the Broncobuster! COLE Broncobuster! Broncobuster on Mr. Boricua! CABOOSE Oh damn! Come on! Somebody! Anybody! Stop Colombian Heat! SOMEBODY STOP HIM! As soon as Colombian Heat gets off of Mr. Boricua, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez gets on the ring apron. Colombian Heat is distracted by Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, yelling at her to get off the ring apron. Lindsay taunts Heat, until Otaku II pulls her off the ring apron! COLE Otaku II, once again helping out Colombian Heat! Otaku II and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez get into a yelling match. Colombian Heat is watching this, while Mr. Boricua tries to get back on his feet. And while all of this is going on, Vitamin X has crept back to Sofa Central, and is searching his gym bag for something. He pulls out…a Kendo Stick. COLE Hey wait a minute! How did THAT get in there? Vitamin X does the McMahon SNEER~! He glares angrily at Colombian Heat and enters the ring with the Kendo Stick in his hands. Colombian Heat is still looking at Otaku II and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez yelling at each other. Lindsay SLAPS Otaku II across the mask, causing the crowd to go, “OOOOOOHHHHH!” Otaku II now gets PISSED, and walks towards Lindsay, causing Lindsay to back away slowly. The crowd starts cheering. CABOOSE If he so much as lays a finger on her. VITAMIN X Yo Heat! Colombian Heat turns around… AND GETS SMASHED IN THE FACE WITH THE KENDO STICK! The Kendo Stick is still together, but just barely. Colombian Heat falls to the mat, spread eagle. Vitamin X zooms out of the ring right after the Kendo Stick shot. Referee Mike Chioda hasn’t seen any of this since he’s been busy trying to keep Otaku II and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez apart. COLE Colombian Heat is out cold following that Kendo Stick shot! CABOOSE Brilliant! Absolutely brilliant! Vitamin X came equipped with a backup plan and he used it on Colombian Heat excellently! COLE And Otaku II couldn’t stop X because he was busy with Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez! COACH It all came together perfectly. Mike Chioda is able to calm down both Otaku II and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, neither of who saw the Kendo Stick shot. Vitamin X has run up the entrance ramp, and is waiting for Mr. Boricua to make the pin. Colombian Heat is still out cold and the crowd is still booing. Mr. Boricua has gotten up, and he sees Colombian Heat down on the mat. He is smart enough to figure out that maybe he should cover Heat right now. And he does so. Mike Chioda has entered the ring again, and he sees Mr. Boricua covering Colombian Heat. COLE No! 1… 2… 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *DING DING DING* (5:58) COLE And Vitamin X has screwed Colombian Heat again! Vitamin X is jumping up and down on the outside. VITAMIN X YEAH-UH! BOO-YAH~! BOO-YAH~! BOO-YAH~! “No Chance In Hell” by Bradley Royds starts playing. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez applauds Mr. Boricua as he gets his hands raised by Mike Chioda. BUFFER Here is your winner…MISTER BORRRRRRRRRIIIIIICCCCCCCUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Mr. Boricua gets up, and yells at Colombian Heat, who is covering his head in pain. The crowd is still booing loudly. COLE The Lightning Crew once again pulls out a victory through illegal ways! CABOOSE Hey, it’s Colombian Heat’s own fault for not ducking that Kendo Stick. If he ducked in time, he wouldn’t have gotten hit, and he wouldn’t have lost! COLE Vitamin X has screwed Colombian Heat again! Colombian Heat has been screwed two times by Vitamin X! First at Anglepalooza, and now tonight! COACH What a great night for The Lightning Crew! Otaku II sees that Colombian Heat has lost. He also sees Vitamin X celebrating on at ringside. This is enough to let him know that Vitamin X caused Colombian Heat to lose. So, he runs after Vitamin X. The crowd starts cheering again as Otaku chases VX around ringside as “No Chance In Hell” by Bradley Royds dies down. COLE The cat and mouse chase is on! COACH Run, X, run! CABOOSE Vitamin X is quite the sprinter. *BAM~!* MR. BORICUA KNOCKS OTAKU II DOWN TO THE GROUND WITH A MASSIVE CLOTHESLINE! COLE And Mr. Boricua returns the favor to Vitamin X by clotheslining Otaku II down to the floor! CABOOSE To quote Nelson Muntz, “HA! HA!” Mr. Boricua poses on the outside. The crowd lets him have it with loud boos. Otaku holds his throat in pain. Boricua yells at Otaku II. COACH Look at the power of The Lightning Crew! You have just seen how dominating The LC can be! This is just a preview, a little sampling of what’s in store for Colombian Heat on April 2nd at AngleMania, when Vitamin X cleanses the OAOAST of that piece of lower class filth forever! COLE Vitamin X may have just lit a fire under Colombian Heat. He may have just motivated him even more. Vitamin X may regret what he did tonight. CABOOSE Ha! Like that will ever happen. “Bling-Bling” by The B.G. featuring The Big Tymers and Hot Boys starts playing. Mr. Boricua high fives Vitamin X. They, along with Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, walk up the entrance ramp. VX is still carrying his Kendo Stick, but has left his gym bag at Sofa Central. Otaku II is still on the ground, but Colombian Heat is getting up. He crawls to the ropes, and stares a hole into Vitamin X, a cut on his forehead. COLE Colombian Heat is bleeding from the forehead now. Vitamin X busted him open with that Kendo Stick. CABOOSE Colombian Heat better get used to the taste of his own blood, because he’s going to taste a lot of it after Vitamin X is finished with him at AngleMania. COLE Don’t be too sure about that Caboose. Colombian Heat is now a man on a mission of payback. I bet Colombian Heat can’t wait until April 2nd! CABOOSE Colombian HACK is going down at the hands of Vitamin X! COLE We’ll find out if that will actually happen on April 2nd. Colombian Heat vs. Vitamin X in a Grudge Match, Sunday April 2, 2006 at AngleMania V! Vitamin X, Mr. Boricua, and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez stand on the entrance stage smiling and laughing evilly. Vitamin X raises his hands in the air drawing more LOUD boos. Vitamin X does a SHIMMY~!, mocking Colombian Heat. He leaves with Mr. Boricua and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez through the sliding doors. Otaku II is STILL on the ground on the outside. Colombian Heat is struggling to get up, using the ropes for help. He is shaking; blood falling down his face, looking like he is about to explode over what Vitamin X has done to him. AngleMania V can’t come fast enough for Colombian Heat. “Bling-Bling” by The B.G. featuring The Big Tymers and Hot Boys is still playing over the P.A. system. FADE OUT As we return, both Axel (dressed in his referee shirt) and Peter Knight stand in the ring, Metalingus blaring over the sound system. Knight has a mic and brings it to his mouth. KNIGHT Thunderkid, you wanna stick your nose in buisness that isn't yours? Time to find out the price for that. Get your ass out here and let's do this. Knight tosses the mic over to Buffer as God of Thunder hits and Thunderkid walks out into the arena. Buffer begins to do his job, but Axel points him out of the ring with a look that tells Buffer that he should do so if he wants to see his kids tonight (does he have kids?). COLE Welcome back, folks. As you can see, Peter Knight and Axel made their way to the ring during the break demanding that Thunderkid come down so we can begin our main event of the evening. CABOOSE Which I'm sure is going to be a fair matchup with an unbiased referee, like last week's match was. COACH Axel did his job. Alfdogg interfered in the match, so PK won by disqualification. Doesn't seem that hard to understand. Thunderkid hops onto the apron and steps through the ropes, casting a cautious glance at Axel and going face to face with the champion. A few words are exchanged before Axel breaks it up and orders both men to their corners. Again Axel skips checking Knight for weapons and instead just searches TK, whose stare hasn't strayed from his opponent. Satisfied with his search, Axel calls for the bell. *DING DING* The two men circle and lock up. Knight gets the advantage and begins to back TK towards the corner, but TK uses his own strength to take the advantage for himself and backs him into the corner. Axel immediately is in there to demand a break, which he gets cleanly, but TK adds a shove to show he won't be bossed around. CABOOSE Oh, look at this. Someone's not gonna take any shit tonight. Knight and TK circle again, but neither man makes the first move for another lockup. They position themselves so that Knight is facing Axel, who is standing behind TK. Discreetly, Axel reaches into his pocket. COLE Wait a minute here. TK becomes confused at the lack of action from Knight and is even more so as Knight straightens up, a big smile on his face which sets off alarm bells in TK's head. He turns, but that is exactly what Axel is waiting for as he sweeps his hand upwards, the packet of white powder exploding right into TK's eyes. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" COACH YES! I love it! COLE It was another damn setup! COACH Alf's friends aren't very bright, are they? TK stumbles back and rubs at his eyes, attempting to clear the powder from them, but ends up bumping into Knight, who hoists him onto his shoulders and drills him into the mat with the Knightmare. He covers. 123 *DING DING* And a ludicrous speed count by Axel gives Knight the win. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" Knight and Axel stand over TK, who is dazed and still trying to clear his vision, trade a look, and commence the stomping on him. Axel walks over to the ropes and signals towards the entrance. The crowd turns and sees Reject appear on the stage, a big smile on his face as he begins to jog down the aisle. COLE Oh sure, Reject knows the coast is clear so NOW he's going to be Mr. Cool. COACH You can't turn down an invite from the GM. "YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" Suddenly, Alfdogg bursts through the doors and flies down the aisle, catching Reject with a forearm to the back of the head which sends him tumbling the rest of the way to ringside. Quickly he pulls Reject up and begins to slug away, much to the shocked surprise of Knight and Axel. TK, his vision slowly returning, sees Knight distracted and takes the opportunity to grab his foot and trip him up before mounting him and slugging away. Axel turns and dashes over to try and pull TK off while Reject gets control over Alf on the outside. He grabs his arm and whips him towards the ringpost, but Alf reverses the momentum and it is Reject that eats steel, the impact spinning him in the air and causing him to crash on the mats. CABOOSE Alf is feelin' it. Alf slides into the ring and Axel tries to stomp him, but Alf ignores the blows and spins Knight around, popping him with a series of rights as the crowd explodes. COLE HERE WE GO! We're getting an AngleMania preview right now! As Axel looks on in shock, Alf continues to wail on the champion. Out of the corner of his eye he sees Reject climb onto the apron and turns to slug him, but Reject blocks the punch and grabs Alf by the head, clotheslining him on the top rope. Alf recoils from the impact....right into Knight's clutches. He chuckles evilly and hoists Alf onto his shoulders. COACH Oh yeah! Knight's finally gonna show you the REAL AngleMania preview. Knight spins Alf, but Alf breaks free and lands on his feet, shoving Knight into the ropes and into Reject, which knocks him off the apron and into the barricade. Incensed, Knight turns and blindly charges towards Alf....but Alf is waiting. *WHAM* "YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" CABOOSE Double-A Spinebuster on the champ! Axel, finally having enough, pulls Alf around and swings, but Alf ducks the punch, shifts his weight...... *SMACK* And scores with a superkick on Axel, sending him rolling to the outside. Alf slaps TK on the shoulder and gestures towards Knight, who has stumbled to his feet against the ropes. The two join arms, charge, and together clothesling Knight over the top and to the floor where he rolls to a stop next to Reject. "YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! COLE Alfdogg and Thunderkid have cleaned house!! Suddenly... AXEL STOP! Goddamit, STOP! Axel flexes his jaw as he stands on the outside with the house mic in his hands. AXEL You two don't want to wait until AngleMania? That's fine. I'm willing to give you two a taste of what you are in for next Sunday. Next week.....Alfdogg and Thunderkid, Knight and Reject....tag match. Now get the hell out of my ring before I cancel both your matches. God of War hits as Alf and TK raise their arms to the crowd. COLE What a wild night we've had tonight. CABOOSE And we're still not done because we've got PR Appreciation Night next! My night can't get any better. Wait, yes it can. *BAM* Caboose turns and punches Coach right in the nose. COACH OW! You might have broke my nose you dick! CABOOSE All right! Commercial break Edited March 25, 2006 by Tony149 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted March 24, 2006 We return to HeldDOWN~! to find that there’s something different about the ringside area. The ring has a red carpet on it. A mechanism of some sort is hanging from the ceiling. An orchestra is playing classical music at ringside. And The Lightning Crew, sans PRL, has arrived, all dressed up in tuxedos (except Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, who is wearing a black dress with roses on it). Even Vitamin X has put on a tuxedo. The Lightning Crew all has smiles on their faces, while the crowd boos. COLE Fans, we are back on HeldDOWN~!, and as you can see, we are just about ready to see the grand finale of “P.R. Appreciation Night”. COACH What a great night this has been, Cole! The Lightning Crew sure put a lot of work into making sure that this was the best “P.R. Appreciation Night” ever! Did you see the video packages? Did you see the way they’ve decorated the ring? They even got an orchestra! A freaking orchestra! Vitamin X must have paid for all of this! COLE The ringside area has been decorated for the grand finale. The Lightning Crew is in the ring, and it looks like we’re about ready to begin. The orchestra is still playing as Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez takes the microphone. MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ Ladies and gentlemen— “SLUT!” “SLUT!” “SLUT!” “SLUT!” LINDSAY (slightly annoyed) I said, ladies and gentlemen! Are you enjoying “P.R. Appreciation Night”? A giant “NO!” comes from the crowd. LINDSAY Well, I knew you would. And frankly, if it weren’t for you people, The Lightning Bolts, there would BE NO PRL! Everything PRL does, he does…for you. His fans. His loveable fans! PRL thanks each and every one of you for supporting him in his record setting 24/7 Championship reign. He thanks you all from the bottom of his heart! The crowd starts booing. LINDSAY Really. He does! He really does care about you people. COLE I find that hard to believe. LINDSAY Thank you! Thank you all! The crowd boos as Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez hands the mic over to Vitamin X. Somehow the booing manages to get even LOUDER. VITAMIN X It is now time for the grand finale. We cap off “P.R. Appreciation Night” with a special in-ring celebration. So now, ladies and gentlemen, it is my pleasure, my honor, to introduce to you, the man, the myth, the legend! The longest reigning 24/7 Champion in One And Only AngleSault Thread history! The man of the hour, too sweet to be sour! The greatest Puerto Rican athlete of all-time! Give it up for the P.R. Menace! Ladies and gentlemen, he is “The Corporate Champion” THA PUERTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RICCCCCCCCCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” The lights go down in the arena. A Puerto Rican flag appears on the AngleTron waving proudly. The following words appear on the AngleTron with Tha Puerto Rican saying them: *THE CHAMP IS HERE!* With that a lightning bolt hits the entrance. But tonight, it’s not just a lightning bolt. Pyro explodes from both sides of the entrance stage. Then more pyro! And even more pyro! PYRO~! PYRO~!! PYRO~!!! The PR entrance video plays on the AngleTron, and “Know Your Role ‘99” starts up as the crowd stands up and starts booing loudly. PR is heard saying, “THE CHAMP IS HERE!” throughout the song, while smoke fills the entryway and the lights flicker on and off in the entrance. Finally, the entrance doors slide open, and through the smoke steps out The Corporate Champ himself, Tha Puerto Rican! CROWD BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! PRL is now wearing a tuxedo suit of his own. He also has shaved his head, and now sports a chin beard. Puerto Rican looks at the crowd in disgust. He then takes off his sunglasses, wipes them on his tux, and then puts them back on. P.R. is holding his custom made spinner 24/7 Championship belt over his left shoulder. He spins the belt plate and smiles evilly. P.R. starts walking down the entrance ramp, while The Lightning Crew applauds him inside the ring. CABOOSE The Champ IS…HERE! COLE I know, Caboose. I know. COACH Look at PRL. He looks marvelous! He looks exactly how the 24/7 Champion SHOULD look! Unlike say, Leon Rodez, who PRL will destroy in 2 weeks at AngleMania V! COLE Last week on OAOAST.com, PRL accepted Leon Rodez’s challenge. And in 2 weeks time at AngleMania, Tha Puerto Rican will put his 24/7 Title on the line against Rodez in a Ladder Match! CABOOSE I am PUMPED, brother! Leon Rodez is in over his head. He’s trying to act all cool, but deep down, he knows he’s no match for Tha Puerto Rican. That is why I can’t wait until April 2nd, because I can’t wait to see Tha Puerto Rican absolutely destroy Leon Rodez, and end his career just like he ended Panther’s last year! Chants of “P.R. SUCKS!” fill the arena as Tha Puerto Rican hops onto the ring apron. PR doesn’t sneer at the crowd; instead, he just smirks at them. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez holds the ropes and Tha Puerto Rican enters the ring. Red, white, and blue balloons start falling from the ceiling exciting the crowd. PRL spins around; soaking in the crowds boos as “Know Your Role ‘99” continues playing over the P.A. system. Tha Puerto Rican does the HBK-muscle pose while pyro goes off behind him. The crowd is still booing. COACH Look at all that pyro! Vitamin X must have spent big bucks to set this thing off tonight! PRL heads to a second turnbuckle, and raises his spinner 24/7 Championship belt over his head. He then heads to another second turnbuckle, and raises his spinner 24/7 Championship belt over his head again. PR hits a third second turnbuckle, and raises his belt with his right hand in the air and “smells the electricity” a’la The Rock. CABOOSE I’m sure Tha Puerto Rican is cheered up now. COLE I bet he is, but will he be happy at AngleMania V after the Ladder Match is finished? CABOOSE Oh of course, he will be! Because he’s going to win that Ladder Match, and then go on to reign as 24/7 Champion for ANOTHER year! There’s nobody who will stop him! Men have tried and failed, INCLUDING Leon Rodez! COLE Leon only lost that match at Zero Hour because time ran out! He had PRL pinned, and was about to become 24/7 Champion! CABOOSE He still lost, and that’s all that matters! Leon couldn’t get the job done! COLE You gotta be kidding me. PRL does the same Rock pose on the fourth second turnbuckle, receiving boos. Tha Puerto Rican jaws with some fans, and then gets off the second turnbuckle. A “P.R. SUCKS!” chant starts up again, as Tha Puerto Rican hugs each member of his Lightning Crew, smiles on their faces. The lights go back on in the arena. PRL spins the belt plate once again. Balloons are still falling from the ceiling. COLE As of this date, March 23, 2006, Tha Puerto Rican has held the 24/7 Title for 352 days, longer than anyone has held the 24/7 Title in OAOAST history. CABOOSE And now he is getting a celebration worthy of such an achievement. PRL hugs The Lightning Crew and then stares at the crowd. He laughs manically while Vitamin X takes the microphone again. “Know Your Role ‘99” dies down. The crowd starts booing again. VITAMIN X You know, P.R. People said it couldn’t be done. The skeptics, they thought you couldn’t even last one DAY as 24/7 Champion. People have doubted you since the moment you got that belt. But you have proved them wrong! You have proven each and every night that you DESERVE to be 24/7 Champion! PRL nods with a smile on his face. VX You have proven time and time again, that you are worthy of wearing that custom made spinner 24/7 Title, which I created by the way, around your waist. PRL That’s right. VX And you have proven that you are the most electrifying 24/7 Champion that there ever was, and there ever will be! PRL blushes. The crowd HATES it. CABOOSE So true. Everything X is saying is SO true. COLE Please. VITAMIN X So, P.R., in honor of your incredible 24/7 Title reign. In honor of your remarkable career, we, The Lightning Crew, have created this video for you. We feel this is the best way to celebrate your greatness. This video took a long time to make, as we looked at thousands of hours of footage to create the best video possible. So, PRL, please enjoy the result of our hard work. We hope that you enjoy it. Here’s our tribute to you. The Lightning Crew turns to their attention to the AngleTron, along with everybody else in attendance, even the orchestra, who has stopped playing. The balloons have stopped falling, so the crowd has begun popping them. ”Clocks” by Coldplay begins playing. As the opening piano melody is heard, the camera pans over a collage of PRL pictures and magazines. The camera shows photos of PR when he was a baby, progressing to when he wrestled in Mexico as The Lightning Kid. The camera then cuts to home movies of a teenage PRL; follow by more pictures of him in high school progressing until a promo shot of Tha Puerto Rican is shown. As the camera zooms in on several pictures and the song begins, Tha Puerto Rican’s voice is heard. THA PUERTO RICAN (V.O.) It was never suppose to happen. I was not supposed to be a superstar. It didn’t happen to guys like me. Guys who were picked on in school. Guys who were bullied, who attempted suicide. Guys who were my size were never supposed to be main eventers. I was born as a nobody, and I thought I was going to die as a nobody. Never in my wildest dreams did I picture what would happen. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that I would be successful. That I would become a champion. That I would become Tha Puerto Rican. *Lights go out, and I can’t be saved* Tha Puerto Rican entering the ring in Mexico as the Lightning Kid. *Tides that I tried to swim against* Lightning Kid smiling and slapping hands with the fans. Lightning Kid raising championships. *You’ve put me down upon my knees* Lightning Kid falling down after a match. Puerto Rican Lightning kneeling in front of the OAOAST North American and Puerto Rican Championship belts and bowing in front of them. Tha Puerto Rican getting on his knees holding the OAOAST 24/7 Championship belt after defeating John “Rock Hard” Brickston at Living Anglelously 2005. *Oh, I beg, I beg and plead (singing)* Lightning Kid unmasking after his match against Rey Mysterio Jr. Lightning Kid walking to the back sobbing. *Come out of things unsaid* Lightning Kid wrestling in the Indies without the mask. *Shoot an apple off my head (and a)* Lightning Kid raising the IWA: Puerto Rico Championship belt after completing his heel turn. *Trouble that can’t be named, tigers waiting to be tamed (singing)* Lightning Kid flipping the crowd off. Puerto Rican Lightning posing in a broken down warehouse sneering at the camera. Tha Puerto Rican posing in the rain, getting wet. *Yoooooooouuuuuu Areeeeeeeeeeeee Yoooooooouuuuuu Areeeeeeeeeeeee* Puerto Rican Lightning making his debut in the OAOAST. Puerto Rican Lightning fighting The Mad Cappa in his first match. Puerto Rican Lightning yelling at the camera. As the song hits the first instrumental break, the clips continue: Puerto Rican Lightning posing on the turnbuckle. PRL debuting the Puerto Rican Championship belt. PRL sneering at the camera. PRL standing in the broken down warehouse sneering. PRL tasting the rain as it falls. Puerto Rican Lightning giving The Mad Cappa the P.R. Nightmare at AngleMania II and pinning him. PRL posing with the Puerto Rican Championship belt. PRL smiling evilly at the camera. PRL standing in a gym smiling. Close-up of PRL’s eyes. *Con-fusion never stops* PRL walking down the corridor to the ring smiling as a cameraman takes pictures of him. *Clos-ing walls and tick-ing clocks (gonna)* PRL bouncing off the ropes in the broken down warehouse. *Come back and take you home* PRL doing the WrestleMania X Flashback Splash onto “Shooter” Jay Darring from the top of the ladder at The Great Angle Bash 2003. *I could not stop, that you now know (singing)* PRL staring at the camera in the broken down warehouse. PRL being electrocuted in the 3 Stages of Hell Match at License To Pin 2003. *Come out upon my seas* Close-up of PRL’s face covered in thumbtacks from License To Pin 2003. *Cursed missed opportunities* PRL falling 20 feet through the announcer’s table at License To Pin 2003. PRL getting pinned by Stephen Joseph Popick at November Reign 2005. *Am I a-part of the cure?* Promo shot of Lightning Kid *Or am I a-part of the disease (singing)* Promo shot of Tha Puerto Rican. *Yoooooooouuuuuu Areeeeeeeeeeeee Yoooooooouuuuuu Areeeeeeeeeeeee Yoooooooouuuuuu Areeeeeeeeeeeee Yoooooooouuuuuu Areeeeeeeeeeeee* A montage of Puerto Rican Lightning delivering the F.U. (Now Corporate) Elbowdrop. Intersperse with footage of Puerto Rican Lightning staring at the camera in the broken down warehouse and posing in the rain. Puerto Rican Lightning looking at the camera as it rises up. A close-up shot of Tha Puerto Rican. The song hits the second instrumental break. More footage of PRL is shown: PRL sneering at the camera. PRL’s back with a Puerto Rican flag on it. PRL scribbling gibberish on his body with a sick look on his face. PRL doing the P.R. Nightmare on The Mad Cappa at AngleMania III. PRL giving Cappa the Cappa Killa during their 24/7 Title Match on HeldDOWN~! back in September 2005. *Yoooooooouuuuuu Areeeeeeeeeeeee Yoooooooouuuuuu Areeeeeeeeeeeee* PRL puts on his Puerto Rican flag bandana. PRL doing the HBK pose with an evil smile on his face. PRL smiling a psychotic smile standing up. A close-up shot of PRL smiling a psychotic smile. The double chairshot from Dirty Deeds 2003. PRL rising up before the count of 10. PRL crying after winning the North American Championship. *And nothing else compares Oh no nothing else compares And nothing else compares* A montage of close-ups of Puerto Rican Lightning. PRL raising the North American and Puerto Rican Championships belts. PRL raising the 24/7 Championship belt. Shots of PRL raising the Puerto Rican Championship belt and the 24/7 Championship belt. PRL raising the Puerto Rican Championship belt and the Italian Championship belt after defeating John “Rock Hard” Brickston at The Great Angle Bash 2005. PRL smiling evilly. PRL soaking in the boos. PRL laughing. PRL doing a beatdown on Colombian Heat after beating him at Anglepalooza 2006. PRL kissing Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez after beating Otaku II and Ayane Mitsui at License To Pin 2005. PRL laughing. PRL sneering in the broken down warehouse. PRL posing and then yelling. PRL sneering at the camera with the Puerto Rican Championship. PRL spinning the belt plate on his custom made spinner 24/7 Championship belt and yelling at the camera. The opening piano melody is played again. Cut to PRL standing in a ring in an empty gym. Cut to PRL laughing manically. Cut to a close-up of PRL’s eyes. PRL staring at the camera in the empty gym. PRL sneering. PRL relaxing on a turnbuckle. PRL looking into the sky in the empty gym. Soon, the melody picks up the music get faster. More clips of Tha Puerto Rican are shown, this time in rapid-fire succession. The clips are from PRL’s Independent days, his OAOAST career, and his childhood photos. In all of this, PRL is heard narrating again. THA PUERTO RICAN (V.O.) I strive to be the best. Infact, I am the best. And until the day I die, I will wrestle. No force of nature and no act of God can stop me from wrestling. I will not stop because I am the greatest wrestler who ever lived. *Yoooooooouuuuuu Areeeeeeeeeeeee Yoooooooouuuuuu Areeeeeeeeeeeee* PRL posing in the rain. Shots of PRL kissing Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez. *Home. Home. Where I want-ed to go. Home. Home. Where I wanted to go.* Montage of Puerto Rican Lightning doing the Sweet Chin Music and the P.R. (Now Corporate) Nightmare on opponents in tune with the drums. Also intersperse with clips of PRL posing and doing the HBK pose while pyro shoots from behind him. *Home (Yoooooooouuuuuu) Home. Where I want-ed to go (Areeeeeeeeeeeee)* PRL screaming. *Home (Yoooooooouuuuuu) Home. Where I want-ed to go (Areeeeeeeeeeeee)* PRL smiling evilly. Another piano melody is played. The song slows down and comes to an end. Tha Puerto Rican is shown posing in the broken down warehouse without his shirt on in front of a Che Guevara t-shirt, a Puerto Rico flag, and the Lightning Crew logo. He has a Puerto Rican flag tattooed on his chest and is surrounded by fire. The last shot is of “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican looking directly into the camera in the ring in the empty gym. As the last notes are played, words in big, white blocky letters appear. *OUR HERO* *OUR LEADER* *OUR FRIEND* *THA PUERTO RICAN* The video ends. Cut to a close-up of Tha Puerto Rican. He has a smile on his face, and is misty-eyed after watching the video. The crowd boos loudly. Puerto wipes his eyes. The Lightning Crew all watches this with smiles on their faces. The crowd is still popping the balloons. CABOOSE *Sniff* That was beautiful! Just beautiful! COACH I agree! Excellent, excellent video! Excellent! COLE This is making me physically ill. “LE-ON! LE-ON! LE-ON! LE-ON!” Puerto Rican blows his nose with the handkerchief in his front pocket. He gives the handkerchief to Mr. Boricua, who puts it in HIS pocket (Ewww). PRL is still misty-eyed, but he calls for the microphone. He spins the belt plate once again, and then starts speaking. Oh, he also takes off his sunglasses. THA PUERTO RICAN Oh wow. Just…just wow. I—I don’t know what to say. Thank you. Thank you Lightning Crew. Thank you so much. You have no idea how much that means to me. The Lightning Crew all say, “You’re welcome.” Except Mr. Boricua, who nods. PRL And you know. I really AM great! You all have shown me just how much you appreciate me. And believe me, I appreciate it. Now, I know you people want to see Leon Rodez tonight. “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” PUERTO RICAN I know. But why? Why do you want to see Leon Rodez so bad? He is not a champion. He is not the Great One. He is NOT and will NEVER be Tha Puerto Rican! Leon Rodez is a lucky punk who will get his ass beaten at AngleMania V, and that, my friends, is the truth, Ruth! The crowd boos some more. PRL lets them boo before continuing. THA PUERTO RICAN Why cheer for Leon Rodez, when you can cheer for me. Tha Puerto Rican. The CORPORATE 24/7 Champion. You can live vicariously through me! Wouldn’t you like that? Wouldn’t you like to cheer, to live vicariously through a winner, and not some punk? I mean after all, I am the longest reigning 24/7 Champion in the history of the OAOAST! And not only that, but I have held this title longer than ANYONE has held ANY title in the history of the One And Only AngleSault Thread! That means I have been a Champion longer than ANYBODY has been a Champion! I have been 24/7 Champion longer than anybody’s been Tag Team Champion, X-Division Champion, Women’s Champion, Heartland Champion, and World Champion! That’s not just bragging, that’s a fact, Jack! CABOOSE That’s right! You cannot deny how long PRL has held the 24/7 Title! COLE True, but it’s not like he’s been the perfect 24/7 Champion. CABOOSE What do you mean by that? COLE You know exactly what I mean! “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” PRL sneers at the crowd. CABOOSE Pipe down, THE CHAMP IS SPEAKING! PRL Chant that all you want, it won’t bother me. “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” PRL SHUT UP! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” COLE I thought he said it wouldn’t bother him. COACH Well, I guess it did. Shut up. PRL Anyway, as I was saying, I have beaten each and every superstar that has challenged for my PRESTIGIOUS 24/7 Title. It started with John “Rock Hard” Brickston, who I defeated not once, but TWICE. COLE You tapped out to his anklelock not once, but TWICE. CABOOSE SHHHHH. PRL Then, I defeated Otaku II, in addition to me and Lindsay beating him and his horseface wife the month before. I then went on to beat my “old friend” The Mad Cappa, proving once again that I am better than him in every way, shape, or form! CROWD Boo. PRL I then followed that up by beating that Mexican Oompah-Loompah, Spanish Fly! Sure, I took his mask, but I wanted more! And I got more by beating his candy ass and making him tap out to the Sharpshooter! HA! HA! COLE That match with Spanish Fly at World Without End was probably the only match PR won fair and square in his entire title reign! PRL And then, in one of the proudest moments of my career, at Anglepalooza 2006, I took on the man who I THOUGHT was my best friend, Colombian Heat, and I proceeded to layeth the smacketh down on his monkey ass all over the damn ring! COACH You’re damn right he did! PUERTO RICAN (CONT’D) That brain dead moron thought he could take the 24/7 Title from me. And sure, he came close, but thanks to Vitamin X and Stephen Joseph Popick, once again, YOUR CORPORATE 24/7 Champion prevailed, and I proved once and for all, that Colombian Heat was a coattail rider, a lackey, and a Grade A loser, who was lucky to even be in the presence of Tha Puerto Rican! And Vitamin X, at AngleMania V, I know you will once again prove that Colombian Heat is a loser when you embarrass him at the biggest show of the year by kicking his ass all over the Trump Plaza Hotel And Convention Center! VITAMIN X I will boss. For you, I will! COLE Well, he certainly got the better of him earlier tonight. CABOOSE Damn straight he did. PRL And that brings us to Leon Rodez. CROWD YEA! LEON RULZ! THA PUERTO RICAN Leon Rodez, you were lucky that our match at Zero Hour ended in a draw, because I was more than ready to whip your candy ass some more! CROWD THAT’S A LIE AND YOU KNOW IT! THA PUERTO RICAN And now at AngleMania, we’re going to have a Ladder Match? Boy, you better pray, PRAY that I am in a good mood that day, because maybe, MAYBE then, I won’t hurt you as bad as I can…nah, screw it, I’ll hurt you. I’ll hurt you good! The Lightning Crew nods in agreement with their leader. PRL I have proven the naysayers wrong time and time again, and AngleMania won’t be any different! Face it Leon, you can’t see me! (Does hand gesture) You think you can beat me when John “Rock Hard” Brickston, Otaku II, Spanish Fly, and Colombian Heat couldn’t? What makes you any different? You suck just as much as those guys do! Leon Rodez, Tha Puerto Rican is simply…unbeatable. You will never, AND THA PUERTO RICAN MEANS NEVER, dethrone me. You will never, AND THA PUERTO RICAN MEANS NEVER, end my 24/7 Title reign. Leon, at AngleMania V on Sunday, April 2nd, Tha Puerto Rican will wipe the floor with you in the greatest Ladder Match ever. At AngleMania V, Leon, Tha Puerto Rican will do what he does best, and that’s lay the smackdown on your candy ass. And Leon Rodez, at AngleMania V, Tha Puerto Rican will do to you what I did to Panther last year, and that’s END YOUR CAREER! Leon Rodez, you are not stepping into the ring with just any normal wrestler on April 2nd. No Leon, at AngleMania V, you are stepping into the ring against the greatest 24/7 Champion ever. Because while The Superstar, Crystal, Hoff, CWM, Zack Malibu, and Axel have all been great 24/7 Champions, NOT ONE OF THEM is the greatest 24/7 Champion ever. Only one person is the greatest 24/7 Champion ever. And that person is me, “The Corporate Champion” THA PUERTO RICAN! The crowd boos loudly. The Lightning Crew all applaud their leader. CABOOSE Amen. COACH Couldn’t have said it any better myself. COLE I can’t take this anymore. Caboose, stop drinking the champagne! CABOOSE What? PRL looks at The Lightning Crew with a smile on his face. Vitamin X asks for the microphone. He gets it. The crowd has stopped popping the red, white, and blue balloons. VITAMIN X P.R. P.R. Great speech as always, but now, we got one final surprise for you. Yeah, one more. We’re going to end “P.R. Appreciation Night” with this surprise, and we did this just for you. So, turn your attention to the ceiling for a second. The Lightning Crew looks up to the mechanism that is hanging from the ceiling. VITAMIN X Now, that mechanism is holding our surprise. And trust me, P.R., you’re going to love it. We spent—well I spent, a lot of money on this, and I just KNOW you’re going to love it. PRL Well what is it? VX Now hold on. Hold on. I’m not finished yet. This took a lot of time and effort, but we did it because, frankly, P.R., we love you. PRL Aw thanks. VITAMIN X So, now, without any further ado, here, in front of all these idiots, is your gift! Cuban Wall hands Vitamin X a remote control. The crowd is buzzing, wondering what is PRL’s gift. VX smiles at PRL. He spits in his hands, rubs them together, and then grabs the remote. VX This is going to be good P.R. This is going to be good. Vitamin X keeps talking to PRL, causing Cuban Wall to punch Vitamin X in the jaw! CUBAN WALL JUST PRESS THE DAMN BUTTON DAMNIT! VITAMIN X Ow! Okay! Okay! COACH Well, what is it? VITAMIN X Here…we…go! Vitamin X presses the button! Nothing happens. Vitamin X’s smile fades. COLE Uh… CABOOSE Hmmm. That’s strange. VITAMIN X Uh…um…okay. Let’s try this again. Vitamin X presses the button on the remote again. Nothing happens. PRL (sarcastically) Great gift. COLE I think something’s wrong with Vitamin X’s gift guys. CABOOSE It’s just a minor mishap. It’ll get fixed, no problem. Some of the crowd is laughing at gift malfunction. Vitamin X tries to figure out what’s wrong with the mechanism. Cuban Wall and Thomas Rodriguez check on the remote control, while Tha Puerto Rican and the other Lightning Crew members stand waiting, their smiles gone, replaced with looks of frustration. COLE They better fix this problem quickly or this show will be on all night! CABOOSE Gee, this is certainly dragging down “P.R. Appreciation Night”. COLE I thought it was already dragging. CABOOSE Shut up, Michael! The crowd is growing restless. The Lightning Crew has no idea why the gift won’t be revealed. PRL is scratching his head. Mr. Boricua just stands there because he’s a moron. COLE Well, what could be the problem? What could be causing this? *GOOOOONG!* CABOOSE NO! "YEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!" "C'mon man" "DON'T CALL IT A COMEBACK..." Tha Puerto Rican and the rest of The Lightning Crew collectively freak out in the ring as the party has just been crashed, "Mama Said Knock You Out" bringing the crowd to their feet and bringing an abrupt halt to festivities. The orchestra scatters quickly, as Leon Rodez emerges on stage, still in his ring-gear from earlier. Rodez stops on the stage, hands on hips, smirking at the scene. PRL screams at the rest of The Lightning Crew, Vitamin X looking like his head is set to explode as his grand plan to cheer up his leader is being ruined. "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" PRL WHAT...in the blue HELL...do you think you're doing, interrupting Tha Puerto Rican's proceedings!?! RODEZ Hey, easy now. I just heard there was a party in the ring and figured it was an open invitation. Nobody told me it was only open to your friends...all five of them. PRL I don't see any friends beside you! RODEZ Yeah well, my dad could kick your dad's ass! (Rodez holds up his hands) I'm sorry, really. Enough of the playground antics I promise. No, I'm out here to see what all the fuss is about, truth be told. See I heard earlier that you guys were planning a Puerto Rican appreciation ceremony or whatever you're calling it and I thought to myself, “Wait a second, I could have sworn that Tha Puerto Rican DIDN'T win the World Title last week." "YYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" RODEZ "Why would you be celebrating? What would there be to appreciate?" So I figured it'd just be five minutes of re-run clips and then you'd come out, talk for a while and leave. Hence why I didn't bother getting changed. I'm not sure if you have a no shoes, no shirt, no service policy, so I won't ask for any cake or anything. However, I do have something to say. I have some appreciation to heap upon you PR, believe it or not. And here it is. I really appreciate the fact that you showed the guts to accept my challenge for AngleMania V. I appreciate the fact you're finally going to face up to me, fair and square. I appreciate that you've held that 24/7 Championship for month upon month and that you're the longest reigning champion in history. I appreciate that your managed to convince a stripper to become your girlfriend without making her change her dress sense. "YYEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" CABOOSE He can't say that! He cannot say that about her! COLE I think he just did. RODEZ And that's pretty much it. I just felt like I should get that off my chest and now, let's see it. Let's see the gift. Don't leave us hanging any longer X-Man; let's see PRL in all his glory. Rodez encourages Vitamin X on, who seems a little suspicious at his eager attitude. PRL You heard him, show us the gift! Show this little jabroni the gift for the man who's gonna kick his candy-ass at AngleMania. RODEZ Yeah, go on X-Man. X still seems a little confused as to why Rodez is so eager to see the gift. PRL Enough with the talking...the gift, X. Show it! Now! Vitamin X looks at The Lightning Crew, and then looks at Leon Rodez. Rodez eggs him on to reveal the gift. COACH Why is Leon Rodez so excited to see the gift? COLE I have no clue. Vitamin X presses the button on the remote control, and this time the mechanism works. It turns out that the gift is a giant poster of “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican posing with his custom made spinner 24/7 Championship belt. ONE PROBLEM: the poster has been covered in red paint! Not only that, but someone has drawn glasses and a mustache on PRL’s face. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that Leon Rodez is the culprit behind the tampering of the poster. CABOOSE What? What the? WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? WHAT THE HELL? WHAT THE HELL DID LEON RODEZ DO!?!? COLE Leon Rodez has tampered with that poster! Leon Rodez has ruined The Lightning Crew’s present to Tha Puerto Rican! COACH THAT MOTHERFUCKER! The crowd explodes with cheers, loving what Leon has done! Inside the ring, The Lightning Crew is freaking out, furious that Leon Rodez has ruined “P.R. Appreciation Night”. PRL is turning red, his veins bulging out as he yells at Leon, who is laughing his ass off on the entrance stage. Vitamin X has tears in his eyes, upset that his gift to PRL is ruined thanks to one Leon Rodez. COLE Could the red paint symbolize something? Could that be Leon’s way of saying that he will make Tha Puerto Rican bleed at AngleMania? CABOOSE I DON’T CARE WHAT IT SYMBOLIZES! I WANT THAT POSTER TAKEN DOWN! AND I WANT LEON RODEZ PUNISHED! I WANT LEON RODEZ TO SUFFER! COACH How dare he do this! Tha Puerto Rican tries to take the poster down, but is unsuccessful. The Lightning Crew continue making idle threats to Leon Rodez, who is having the time of his life on the entrance stage. “LE-ON! LE-ON! LE-ON! LE-ON!” PRL ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODEEEEEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!! COLE Leon Rodez has single-handedly RUINED “P.R. Appreciation Night”! He has gotten one up on his opponent in two weeks at AngleMania V! The Lightning Crew are freaking out, trying to pull the poster down. LEON RODEZ Hey P.R.! Hey! Hey P.R.! I hope you enjoy the gift The Lightning Crew gave you. PRL yells out, “I’ll get you Leon!” LEON I am loving this. It’s funny seeing you all freaked out, and upset, and pissed off because I have managed to cause you great pain. Again. But you know what will be even better? When I climb the ladder on April 2nd at AngleMania V, and become the NEW 24/7 Champion and become known as the man who did what no one else could: end the longest 24/7 Title reign in OAOAST history! And to see the look on your face on April 2nd when I do that? That’ll make everything I may go through in that Ladder Match worth it! “YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” RODEZ THE CORPORATE CHAMP HAS SPO-KUN~!!! Leon throws the microphone away. He smiles at PRL, who is furious. “Mama Said Knock You Out” by LL Cool J starts playing again. The Lightning Crew tries to pull the poster down as the crowd cheers loudly. THA PUERTO RICAN YOU RUINED IT, LEON! YOU RUINED IT! DAMN YOU! DAMN YOU STRAIGHT TO HELL!!! COLE Leon Rodez has managed to once again get under the skin of Tha Puerto Rican! CABOOSE I cannot WAIT until AngleMania V. April 2nd can’t come here fast enough! I cannot wait to see Tha Puerto Rican shut that punk up, by beating him once and for all! COLE That may not happen for sure, ‘Boose. Leon may now have the psychological advantage over PRL. He has gotten into his head, and that can help him big in the Ladder Match at AngleMania. COACH Who cares about the psychological advantage? PRL is a better wrestler than Leon Rodez and that’s all that matters! Leon Rodez ruined “P.R. Appreciation Night” and he’ll pay for that at AngleMania! The Lightning Crew is still trying their hardest to pull that tampered poster of “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican posing with his custom made spinner 24/7 Championship belt off the mechanism. PRL glances at Rodez and threatens him with bodily harm. Leon Rodez is still on the entrance stage laughing at PRL’s misery while the crowd cheers and “Mama Said Knock You Out” continues playing. COLE Are we going to witness the end of Tha Puerto Rican’s historic 24/7 Title reign at AngleMania? Will Leon Rodez be able to dethrone Tha Puerto Rican, doing what no one else has been able to do? Fans, thanks for tuning into HeldDOWN~! this week. See you next week on the final HeldDOWN~! before AngleMania V! “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican is throwing a fit in the ring. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez tries to calm her boyfriend down. Mr. Boricua is ripping the red carpet off the mat. Vitamin X is trying to hold back tears, very upset that his planned gift to Tha Puerto Rican has been ruined. Cuban Wall glances IN ANGER~! at Leon Rodez. Thomas Rodriguez is trying on his own to pull the tampered poster down, but can’t because he’s a pathetic weakling. Leon Rodez is still laughing his ass off on the entrance stage. “Mama Said Knock You Out” by LL Cool J is still playing as the crowd cheers. The last shot we see is of Tha Puerto Rican having a temper tantrum in the ring, ripping his tuxedo off. He has removed the coat as we FADE OUT Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
