WWF Bloopers, Bleeps, and Bodyslams (1994)

[Guest Black Tiger]

You know that WWF is in need of creative help when they recyle names for their Colisum tapes from their older Coliseum tapes. This will have a strong emphasis on the Play By Play since its funny as hell most of the time.

 

Hosted by Hillbilly Jim as he works out.

 

Match 1: Crush vs Razor Ramon (WWF IC Title)

 

Gorilla Monsoon and Raven are doing play by play. Raven was Johnny Polo back then but Raven is easier to type. Crush and Fuji enter and Raven mentions Fuji Vice to start the ball rolling. Raven also claims he wrote Razor's theme song and does a horrible impression of it. The match is boring as hell but Raven is a hoot. Crush does nothing but restholds and kicks. Razor comes back with a face slam and puts it away with a roll up. DUD.

 

Gorilla Monsoon re-racks are shown

 

Head Shrinkers vs Steiners

 

No Raven on PBP. Its Gorilla and Stan Lane. The Steiners were great workers, but their only good WWF matches were vs Money Inc, seeing as DiBiase and Rotundo were both good. The Head Shrinkers are not good and I give them five minutes. All that happens is that Scott gets his ass kicked and I FF. Steiners win when Rick rolls up Fatu. -* At least Raven's PBP turned Razor vs Crush into a DUD.

 

Owen Hart vs Rick Martel.

 

Raven is back. Gorilla mentions all the Hart kids and asks Raven how many brothers and sisters he had. Raven can't remember. This is from 1993 and the Harts vs Lawler feud. Martel his a few good moves and gloats. Owen dropkicks him. Owen works the arm and back with submissions moves. Raven manes oldie jokes on Stu Hart. Martel gets the advantage and throws him out. He holds up one finger, Raven thinks it means either he's #1 or he wants a pizza. Jerry Lawler hits the ring and rams Owen into the post and he gets counted out. decent match **1/2 Raven is awesome, how they could let him go is beyond me.

 

Bloopers of Vince McMahon and Todd Pentingil are shown.

 

Yokozuna vs Tatanka (WWF Title)

 

Raven tries a weight joke but its not funny. He makes fun of Tatanka's hair, that is funny. Yoko beats his ass to start and Tatanka comes back with chops. They do the old "knock the fat ass down" routine, Tatanka can't do it of course. Yoko does a nerve hold. Tatanka comes back, knocks the fat ass down and wins by DQ whenYoko bashes him with a wood bucket. * Afterwards he tries to squash him, but Savage saves. If he'd done that for Crush, maybe he would't have turned heel.

 

Diesel and IRS vs Razor Ramon and Mary Janetty.

 

Janetty and IRS start and do nothing. They both tag and THE OUTSIDERS EXPLODE! okay, not for another four years. Deisel and Razor do the test of strength, Deisel cheats. Gorilla asks why, Raven says "It's fun". They tag and Janetty plays face in peril forever. He finally tags in Razor. Razor cleans house and IRS uses the briefase for the DQ.1/2* Not even Raven on PBP could save this.

 

Bloopers of Lord Alfred Hayes, Johnny Polo and Gorilla Monsoon.

 

Doink vs Bam Bam Bigelow.

I use Fast Forward, I hate clowns. IT is the scariest movie I've ever seen thanks to Pennywise. Doink wins by count out. No rating.

 

Bret Hart vs Crush

 

This is from March to Wrestlemania X.

They talk about Bret's accomplishments and it makes Polo (shorter than Raven to type) sick. Test of strengh to start, Crush wins, but Bret reverses the move and Crush bails. Crush gets control and its resthold heaven. Ref bump, Bret gets a small package, Owen hits the ring and turns it over for 3

**

 

Bloopers of Pentingill, Gorilla, and Stan Lane.

 

Shawn Michaels vs Marty Jannetty (Cage Match)

 

THE ROCKERS EXPLODE! Polo and Gorilla aruge over who carried the team. Since Jannetty went nowhere and Michaels went on to superstardom, the answer is obvious. Shawn tries to escape, Marty pulls him down. Marty tries a pin (what's he on?). Shawn takes control with filler. Polo is still cracking me up. He says the crowd is in a stuned silence, to make up for the bored crowd. I wonder what he'll say to a boring chant. Marty climbs out, but Diesel blocks him. Shawn gets out the door. **

 

Randy Savage vs Jerry Lawler

 

Its the old man match, I fast forward, I don't care what Polo has to say nothing is worth sitting through this.

 

Conclusion: Polo is funny as hell but the tape isn't worth the shitty wrestling. Owen and Martel aren't enough. Only purcahse if less than $5.00 or rent if less than $1.00 otherwise avoid at all costs.

[Guest nWoScorpion]

bret/Crush, Jannetty/Michaels Cage matchs are fairly decent matches. Rant is OK, but it seemed empty, cause its basically the starts and finishe sof the matches. If I may, an excert from a recent match of mine.

 

Bret "Hitman" Hart Vs. Crush (w/ Mr. Fuji):

This is the last match im doing for tonight, ill pick up with Tatanka/Yokozuna and so on tommorow. fuji is managing Crush for a 2nd time in his WWF stint. What luck i have, 3 Bret Hart matches in a span of 2 hours. WM X at 40pm, 1pm Pacific. I remember now, lol. Polotells the kid who gets Brets glasses to go see a dentist. He is fuinnier then Lawler. go-behind by bret and of course, Crush breaks the hands apart. Test of Strength teased. Polo plays a crying baby cause of Savage whining about last week. Crush makes Bret beg in the TOStength. Bret back up and back down. Bret chants. Bret breaks out and Crush bails to the floor after Bret reverses it with a painful reversal. Series of roundhouses by Bret and a hart attack like clothesline for 1(!. Sleeper Hold applied but Crush snaps him off his back and misses a fist drop which Bret capitalizes with  a running forearm sending Crush to the floor. STIFF Cresent Kick by Crush. This i belive gives Bret a Black Eye i believe. Eye rake by Crush. Since when is Hawaii part of Japan by the way? 2nd rope fist to the back by Crush. Backbreaker gets 2 for Kona man. Armbar/Head Scissors by Crush. Bearhug now applied. Crush loses control but takes it back witha STIFF roundhouse. Hebner CATCHES Fuji going after Bret. Crush from behind makes Bret eat Steel Steps. Back in Crush gets a 2 count. Bret fights back but runs into a backbreaker for 2. Gutwrench backbreaker gets another 2 count. School boy by Bret gets 2. Crush takes the control with a headbutt but eats a boot. Bret on the 2nd rope comes down witha  bulldog for 2. Victory Roll by Bret gets ANOTHER 2. Russian Leg Sweep for 2!! 2nd rope Elbow Drop connects. 10 punches of doom reversed with an inverted atomic drop! Backbreaker by Crush, and he goes to the top rope and misses a kneedrop. Sharpshooter is prevented as Fuji gets on the apron . Crush accidentally nails him and Bret scores an inside cradle for no count. Owen pushes Crush on top for the win at 13:36 behind the referees back, a DEFINITE upset here. ***. Bret is pissed off, not at Vince. "He was robbed". I guess he took his own advice.

[Guest]

Pretty good tape review. I like it when someone reviews an old school WWF Coliseum Video.

[Guest Black Tiger]

nWo Scorpian, Part of the reason I slacked off was that I was getting sick of the tape.  If Polo wasn't making me laugh my ass off, I would have stopped it.

 

I'm much more adapt at Puro reviewing anyways, I'll do one sometime here.

[Guest nWoScorpion]

True, Polo is funny.

 

<----sucks at ranting all wrestling from Mexico or Japan or anything not WWF or WCW.