KingPK 0 Report post Posted April 28, 2006 OAOAST HeldDOWN is now available in OAOAST HTML As the opening video wraps up, we see a montage of sights from Sydney, Australia, the site of the final HeldDOWN before Living Angleously and the final stop on our 2006 Pacific Tour. We head into the soon to be named Acer Arena where 21,000 screaming Aussies are ready for another night of great OAOAST action. We head over to Sofa Central where everyone's favorite difficult to write for three man team is ready to go. COACH I don't need anyone to write a script for me; I do things by the seat of my pants. CABOOSE Crystal. COACH MUH BABY GURRRRRRL~! COLE G'day ladies and gentlemen and welcome to HeldDOWN from Sydney! I'm Michael Cole and tonight is the final stop on a very successful tour around Asia and Australia leading up to Living Angleously back in the States this Sunday night. We'll hear from many of the PPV participants tonight along with some great matches, including Hoff in action in our main event. Also coming up tonight..... Michael Cole is cut off by the sounds of Renegade by Jay-Z & Eminem, signalling the arrival of a man hated by fans all over the world, Reject. COACH Well isn’t this a nice surprise guys? Joined by the incomparable former Deadly Alliance member, Reject! COLE I compare him to Randy Orton. COACH Kayfabe, Michael. The former X Division Champion strolls down to the squared circle, a white spotlight following him down to the ring. Walking up the ring steps and into the squared circle, Reject grabs a microphone from ringside, and signals for the music to be cut. COLE I wonder what’s on Rejects mind? And why he's starting off the show? Reject pauses for a moment, with the crowd lightly booing him, not knowing his purpose. REJECT You know, ever since I set foot in this stinking country… “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!” REJECT …I’ve seen nothing but the ugliest women in the world, the stupidest people in the world, and the dumbest animals in the world. I mean, seriously people. And you had a holiday three days ago, what was it called? COLE Uh-oh… CABOOSE Uh, Reject, slamming a country’s people is one thing, this is another completely. REJECT Ahhh, that’s right. ANZAC Day. I didn’t know what the hell an ANZAC was, and then I found out. It’s a type of biscuit. You have a holiday for a weird snack food? The crowd are getting fired up now, with chants of ‘YOU ARE A WAN-KER! CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP!’ filling the arena. Still, Reject presses on. REJECT But seriously, someone told me what ANZAC meant. The Australian and New Zealand Armed Corps. Now I don’t know about you people, but I don’t recall exactly what the Australian army has done that’s worth celebrating. You were Britains bitchboys fo… “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!” COLE This is gonna get ugly, the fans here are past pissed, guys. REJECT YOU WERE BRITAINS BITCHBOYS FOR A CENTURY PEOPLE! What do you have to be proud of? Huh? You went to the wrong beach and get your asses kicked in the war, and now you have a holiday for it? “AAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSS-HOOOOOOLLLLEEE! AAAAAAAASSSSSS-HOOOOLLLLEEE!!!” The fans chants completely drown out Reject, as every Aussie in the building is on their feet jeering the hated former X Champion. REJECT YOU WENT TO THE WRONG BEACH! YOU SCREWED UP AND YOU PAID FOR IT! Chant all you want, but that doesn’t change the fact that your military, along with your country, is nothing but a BIG. PIECE. OF SH… THE LIGHTS GO OUT! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!” COLE What’s this? With the arena plunged into darkness, the fans go into a frenzy. The drums start up, and the crowd EXPLODES with a huge ovation, as a Big Red X appears on the screen! COLE You don’t mess with the boss’ home country! The drums start up, with Reject being slightly confused by the situation. It is clear that these are the drums at the beginning of Millionaire’s “I’m on a High”. The guitar follows the drum beat, and the hometown boy appears, the GM, appears at the entrance ramp, sporting jeans, a Big Red X T-shirt and his old leather coat, as well as an Australian flag in hand! CABOOSE OH NOES RANDY REJECT IS A GONER! The music gains momentum, and Axel stops in the middle of the entrance way, flag in hand… BOOOOOOOOOMMMM!!!! …and strikes the crucifix pose, hoisting the national emblem high in the air! Axel, a look of pure rage in his eyes, places the flag in the steel steps so as to keep it upright, removes his coat and slides into the ring as the theme music continues. COLE Wow, he looks PISSED! COACH This arena is goin' off like a frog in a sock! COLE Coach, do me a favor. Don't learn local slang. Axel ascends the turnbuckles, striking the crucifx pose to his crowd, and leaving Reject on the other side of the ring, still flabbergasted by the situation. REJECT Wait a minute! WAIT A MINUTE! CUT THE MUSIC! CABOOSE And now he’s cutting the General Managers music off. Smart one. COACH I’m sure Axel is just out here to tell Reject what a fantastic job he’s doing with fan relations. Axel jumps off the turnbuckles and faces Reject, REJECT Now, GM, boss, what are you doing out here? This isn’t your time. This is my time. "BOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" REJECT With all due respect, you don’t belong out here. So if you’d kindly vac-AHH! Axel floors Reject with a clothesline out of NOWHERE! “YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!!!!” Reject, reeling from the blow, gets to his feet, runs at Axel… SPIIIIINNNEEEBUUUSSSTTTAAAAAAAHHHHH!!! COLE We’ve waited a while to say this. guys… TRIPLE C ...BETTER THAN HOFFS! Axel, his eyes still filled with rage, looks at the fallen Reject, and then the crowd who roar in appreciation. He points at the fallen wrestler, and the fans roar even louder, wanting their homeland hero to finish the job. AXEL BIG RED FREAKIN X MY FRIEND! Axel makes an X with his arms and then the crucifix pose, grabbing Reject, and bringing him to his feet. Axel hoists the former X Division champion in the air… …AXEL SLAM!!! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHHH!” Reject goes limp after the impact, and the crowd goes crazy! COLE THE AXEL SLAM! AXEL JUST DRILLED REJECT! COACH ABUSE OF POWER! CABOOSE Reject is out guys, he’s out! COLE Axel might not be liked by many in the states, but he’ll always be loved by these fans right here in Australia! Axel’s music begins playing, but he soon asks for it to be cut, before grabbing a microphone. AXEL You know, I’ve been sitting back these last few weeks, not doing a lot about anything. Not coming to the ring, just doing my job, and making everyone happy. That’s fine. I’m not out here to wrestle every week anymore. But that doesn’t mean I can’t still get my hands dirty when I feel its needed. And that right there, that was needed. I can handle someone badmouthing this country to a point. Its called free speech, and it’s an implied right here. But if anyone DARES to come into my country, my home… “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAH!” AXEL …in front of my fellow Australians, and badmouths the ANZACS, the men and women who made this country what it is, the men and women of this country who have fought and died for everything that I believe in, and everything that each and every one of you believe in… “YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAHHHH!!!” “AX-EL! AX-EL! AX-EL! AX-EL!” The chants go up huge, and Axel relishes in them, cracking a half grin, before finishing. AXEL …if anyone dares to do that on my show, then they’d better believe I’m gonna kick their *BLEEP*ING ASS! “YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!” AXEL This is the best country in the world. Bar none. And while I might not be respected in the States for what I do, I know I can always come here and gain the respect I deserve. Thank you. The crowd applaud, and Axel begins to leave, but stops… AXEL I almost forgot… AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE! CROWD OI OI OI! AXEL AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE! CROWD OI OI OI! AXEL AUSSIE! CROWD OI! AXEL AUSSIE! CROWD OI! AXEL AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE!!!! CROWD OI OI OI! YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAHHHH!! “I’m on a High” starts up again and Axel leaves the ring, but not without grabbing the Aussie flag on the way through and slapping a few hands. The GM walks up the ramp and waves the flag to the capacity crowd at the Sydney Superdome, before exiting, as we go to a… *COMMERICAL BREAK* Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted April 28, 2006 OAOAST Cola presents... OAOAST BACKTRACK COLE The Man of Tomorrow with the Frankensteiner! What a move! ONE... TWO... THREE! * STYLISH CLIP * As the referee holds Frank's arm in the air, the Man of Tomorrow is drilled in the lower back with the baton. Still woozy from the blow to the head, Frankie isn't much help to his brother as he's jabbed in the gut and then across the back! * STYLISH CLIP II * "YEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!" CABOOSE Look who's coming to the Sooners aid. THE HEAVENLY ROCKERS sprint past the officials and into the ring with only their tag team title belts as weapons. Swinging the belts wildly the Heavenly Rockers manage to chase the SCM off into the direction of the Lone Star Gunslingers, sparking a pier-six brawl in the aisleway! Inside the ring, the Heavenly Rockers help the Sooner Bruisers up to their feet. Frank and Frankie shove Synth and Logan away when they learn who's assisting them. COLE Hey, come on, guys. Let's not let pride get in the way here. They helped you out. The Sooners pick up the tag titles and wrap them around their waist before exiting, sending a clear message to the Heavenly Rockers that they plan on taking those home after Living Angleously. COACH That tells you all you need to know right there. BACKTRACK has been presented by OAOAST Cola: "It's gotta be better than Mountain Dew, right?" Backstage, Josh Matthews is with the participants in this Sunday's World tag team title match. JOSH I'm standing here with the two teams who will meet this Sunday night for the World tag team championship at Living Angleously, the Sooner Bruisers and the Heavenly Rockers. As we just saw, tensions rose last week after the Heavenly Rockers came to the aid of the Sooner Bruisers who were on the receiving end of a South Central Militia mugging. Needless to say, the Sooner Bruisers weren't exactly grateful for Synth and Logan's help. FRANK Why should we be? I don't remember me or my brother sending out an S.O.S. While cold those batons weren't no icebergs. Me and my brother weren't stranded at sea in sub-freezing temperature as the Titanic sank. And even if we were, this high-tech freak and his 25" anacondas would've paddled us to safety. So if you boys are here for an apology the Man of Tomorrow is here to tell you today that ain't gonna happen. But I will apologize right now for what we're gonna do to you Sunday night at Living Angleously, when we take your World tag team titles and wrapped them around our waists, giving ALL my freakoziods a new toy to play with. In fact, because I know your title loss will be crushing, Holly-Wood is welcomed to come over and find out what every one of my freakoziods already knows: that the Man of Tomorrow is her upgrade, download when you need me! Understandably, given everything that he and Holly have gone through, Logan doesn't take too kind to the words from the Man of Tomorrow and lunges towards Frank, only to be restrained by Synth and a hand on the chest by Josh. FRANK COME ON, BITCH! LOGAN (to Synth and Josh) All right, all right, all right. I'm cool. I'm cool. For a guy as tough and jacked up as you are, Frank, you sure do BITCH a lot, don't you? Maybe all that bleach your use to dye your hair has soaked through your skull and damaged your brain, because you don't get it. FRANK I get it. You're a PUSSY who uses a skirt to get the people behind you because you and Casper over there aren't half the wrestlers me and my brother are. SYNTH My brother and I, fool. FRANK Only speak when you're spoken to, boy. SYNTH Don't make moi sing it and bring it...man! LOGAN Trust me, you wouldn't want to see the Synthmeister when he's mad or on the prowl for his lastest underage groupie. But on the subject of pussy, Frank, it's obvious you've had plenty because you're going through one of your mood swings at, if all that biology stuff stands the test of time, around that time of the month. "OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" SYNTH You got served, and not to jury duty, bro. FRANKIE (snarling) Grrrrrrrrrrrrr! SYNTH Meeeeowwwwwww! LOGAN As I was saying, before you stricken with that hot flash of a virus in your database, Synth and I didn't save your asses because we're tight. We did it so you'd go into Living Angleously with your heads still attached on your shoulders! The last thing we want is another Sooner Bruisers bitchfest, complaining about how you were too banged up going into Living Angleously and that's why you lost to us AGAIN. In a moment of rage, possibly roid related, Frank wraps his massive hands around Mann's throat but quickly releases his grip and cools down. JOSH Guys, please! FRANK You got a set of balls on you, Mann, I'll give you that. But it's gonna take more than a set to beat us twice in two months. It's gonna take luck. So all your oddmaker friends in Vegas better take note, smart money is on the Sooner Bruisers becoming the new World tag team champions. SYNTH (scoffs) If smart money is Monopoly money, son. Because real money lies with the rockers from Sin City who keep rock 'n' roll alive and life real. Give me some, Mann. * FIST POUND * SYNTH That's love right there. Love. The type of love a brother has for another brother. Mad respect. Mad respect. Show 'em what it be all about. The Heavenly Rockers hold up their tag belts in the faces of the Sooner Bruisers. Not to be outdone, the Man of Tomorrow jiggles his pecs and flexes his "byte-cips" while baby brother HOWLS to the heavens. "OWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!" JOSH I think both teams are ready for Living Angleously. That does it from here. "Punishment" by Biohazard begins to blare over the speakers as we journey back to the arena for more of the Aussie flavored HeldDOWN~! here on April 27, 2006. The athletically gifted duo of Quentin Benjamin and Charlie Moss, flanked by Mr. Rick Heyross himself, head down the aisle to a loud chorus of boos from the Australian fans who don't have much respect for the rulebreaking faction. Heyross enters the ring along with his charges, and motions for Michael Buffer to pass over the microphone, ordering the famed announcer out of the ring so that he doesn't cramp their time in the spotlight. HEYROSS Alright you people, on your feet, and give the proper respect to the two best pure athletes in the OAOAST, and the world today! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COLE Something tells me these people aren't about to oblige, Rick! HEYROSS Go ahead, go ahead and boo, because you and I both know it's out of pure JEALOUSY for my two boys! More booing ensues, which Quentin and Charlie blow off in short order. HEYROSS But, as a token of good faith, we're going to show you boomerang tossing bunch of ex-cons and future cons what REAL ATHLETICISM is all about. That's why we're out here, to call out anyone in the back that things they have even half the talent Team Heyross does! Quentin, Charlie and Rick all look to the back, with nothing happening after the callout. Seconds later, "My Own Summer" by the Deftones hits, and the cameras close in on the jaw dropping reaction of Rick Heyross, as the big Samoan Faqu, and his newly cleared to wrestle partner, "Strong Stylin'" James Blonde, charge down the aisle! CABOOSE It's Blonde and Faqu! COLE The past few weeks have not been good to either man, as Blonde was sidelined with an arm injury coming off the Two For The Money contest. Faqu fared a little better, although he came up short in two bids for the HI-YAH Title, both times due to nefarious means from the trio of the GPX and Jamie O'Hara! CABOOSE These are not two men I'd be taking lightly at this point! Blonde and Faqu hit the ring, and are immediately pounced on by Charlie Moss and Quentin Benjamin. Blonde is backed into a corner and stung with multiple right hands by Quentin, while Charlie picks Faqu up and fires him into the ropes...only to be plowed over with a huge shoulderblock! As he gets up, Faqu blasts him twice in the right leg with hard kicks, then snapmares him over and hits the ropes, delivering a hard running soccer kick to the back! Charlie rolls out to the floor, while Blonde gets sent across the ring, into the far corner...but when Quentin charges, he runs right into a boot! He staggers back, and Faqu hits the ropes, leaping off his feet with great agility for a big man, and floors him with a big lariat. As he's laid out on the canvas, Benjamin is then stunned with a running high kneedrop from Blonde, and then a jumping back senton from Faqu, which is enough to send him packing! COACH Team Heyross wasn't prepared for this! This isn't right! COLE They made the open challenge! COACH Well...STILL! Blonde and Faqu get up from the double team, and witness Charlie springboarding back in...but they catch him, and deliver a double team STO, droppping him on the back of his head! Blonde then motions to the corner, and Faqu follows. Blonde steps out to the apron, while Faqu climbs the ropes and sits on the top rope. Blonde then climbs up the ropes...and up on his partners shoulders, standing up at a vertical base before leaping off, and crashing down with a flying headbutt to the sternum of Charlie Moss! Blonde then rolls out of the way as Moss reels, and the big man then stands himself up on the top rope, and delivers a flying splash, crashing his near 300 pound frame atop the collegiate wrestling superstar before hooking a leg for the pin! ONE! TW-NO! Benjamin saves the day by sliding in and dropping an axehandle across the back of Faqu's head. He pulls him up and sends him to the corner, but Faqu reverses, however Quentin gets the better of him by grabbing the ropes and springing back...but Faqu catches him on his shoulders! Faqu carries him to mid-ring, then SPIKES him with a Death Valley Driver! He gets up and sees Moss pulling himself up near the ropes, so he runs and tackles him, taking him out to the floor through the ropes while Blonde hops over Benjamin and springs up to the second rope, then the third, and moonsaults back landing with a legdrop across the throat of Quentin Benjamin! COLE Amazing manuever! ONE! TWO! THREE! *DING! DING! DING!* CABOOSE It was quick, but I can't say it was painless! Heyross is having conniptions, as Nick Patrick raises the hand of James Blonde, and Faqu once he returns to the squared circle. The duo embrace, pleased with their performance, as are the fans, who have really taken to the two of them in recent months. COLE I wonder what it tasted like when Heyross had to eat his words! COACH Oooh, you're a funnyman now, huh? Heyross stomps and moans, angered that his prized tag team was just beaten handily by the duo that no one believed had worked hard to reinvent themselves. Faqu and Blonde exit the ring, slapping some hands on the way back to the dressing room, while Heyross scrambles to get his team together and recover. We cut to the backstage area and head over to the catering table, which is where we find Peter Knight (in street clothes) shining up an apple and grabbing a bottle of water. He turns, but the sight in front of him stops him in his tracks. BROCK I recommend the chicken; it's excellent tonight. Brock purposefully bumps into Knight's shoulder as he walks past him and grabs a water bottle himself. KNIGHT I bet you're happy that Axel gave the both of us the night off, you know, after the beatings I've given you all through this tour in our matches. BROCK Pfft, please. I've beaten your ass so hard that you've left a blood trail from Poyngyang to Brisbane. KNIGHT Yeah, that didn't sound too gay. BROCK Oh look at you, all loose and witty before our big match Sunday. Too bad that, like the Colts when it counts, someone else is going to walk out of Indy with the win. And, unlike last year, I am NOT going to submit to anything either you or Alf throw at me. Last year you got LUCKY, that's all. KNIGHT Really? BROCK Really. KNIGHT Care to make it interesting? BROCK What do you mean? Knight reaches into his pants (quick, cover the childrens' eyes!) and pulls out......a $50 bill (US) which he slaps onto the table. Brock looks over at the money and then back to Knight. BROCK Shit, make it $100 and we've got a deal. KNIGHT Fine. I'd wish you luck for Sunday.....but I don't want to waste a wish. Knight snatches his money back and takes a swig of water as he walks out of frame. We fade out on Brock as he watches Knight go. Commercial break Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted April 28, 2006 COLE It's been a hot night in Kangaroo Country, but we here at the OAOAST are proud to bring you HeldDOWN~! live from... Just as soon as we've returned from break, the sounds of a theme song that has long been used, but never forgotten, comes over the soundsystem, and the shock of hearing it brings the fans into a frenzy! "I'm head off the class...I'm POPULAR!" COACH What the!? CABOOSE It can't be... COLE It could be! We know that Zack Malibu has recently found some help in his war against the Global Party Exchange and Jamie O'Hara, and this could be the revelation we've all...been...waiting...now what is this?! The cheers turn to jeers, and the excitement turns to disappointment, as it's not the famed stable of Zack Malibu, EvenflowDDT, and The Superstar heading to the ring. Instead, Scotty Static, Johnny Jax, and Jamie O'Hara, the three thorns in the side of the HI-YAH Heavyweight Champion, approach the ring, dressed differently than usual. Static is dressed quite well, with designer jeans and a blue button down shirt, and keeps nodding and smiling to the crowd. Jax is seen wearing an equally fashionable button down...but with cutoff jeans and black sneakers, and carrying a female mannequin. Lastly, O'Hara walks down the aisle pumping his fists in the air...fists that are each holding a towel, while a third one is wrapped around his neck. CABOOSE This is...different. COLE Well to say the wind has been taken out of everyone's sails would be the understatement of the year! COACH What are you guys talking about? I'm LOVING this! The trio...er, quartet, climb into the ring and keep smiling despite the chorus of boos being sent their way. Jax stands the mannequin up and puts his arm around it, while O'Hara hops up on the middle ropes and pumps his fists some more, waving one towel over his head. Static stands by the ropes and motions for the microphone, but keeps on smiling, and runs his hand through his blond, mussy hair, before speaking. STATIC LADIES AND GENTLEMEN OF AUSTRALIA, THE...wait a second...Michael Cole, come on up here into the ring and give your old friends a hand! COACH Yeah Mikey, go help your old friends out! COLE Those aren't my friends! STATIC C'mon Michael, don't tell me you forgot that you're down with the hottest thing in wrestling today! Remember if you're not in, you're insignificant! So what's it gonna be? Cole, somewhat disturbed by Static's quoting of the old In Crowd catchphrase, reluctantly gets up from his broadcast position and climbs into the ring. He walks over to Scotty Static, who hands him the mic without incident. STATIC You're a lifesaver, Mikey Cole. I can't play with my hair and hold a mic at the same time! Static fidgets with his hair, looking into the camera lens and fixing it "just right" before offering a wink and a smile to the camera. COLE What...what are you guys doing? STATIC What do you mean what are we doing? Baby we are having fun, we are living the life, we are here in AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW-Stralia, the Land of the Rising S... JAX You mean the Land Down Under, Zack! STATIC Oh SNAP! Thanks, 'Flow! I knew I should've paid more attention in school, but hanging with the hotties and selling blank hall passes to freshman was too much fun! Anyways, Mikey Cole, we are here in the Land Down Under for a reason. A very important reason. And that reason is...a question! A very important question, one that needs to be asked...a question for the ages, and that is... ...when did everything get so serious around here!? COLE I...I'm not sure if... STATIC It's OK Mikey, I'm not asking you for the answer! I didn't think you'd know. Does anybody else have anything to say? Alison? Mikey bring her the mic...nah nevermind, she never had much to say anyways. CABOOSE Oh COME ON. The crowd boos, and Static looks shocked, so he goes and plants a kiss on the mannequin's cheek. He then acts all hot and bothered, so O'Hara runs over and dabs his forehead with the towel, then runs around the ring waving the two towels in the air. STATIC Like I was saying, Mikey Cole, everything has gotten so serious in the OAOAST! This was a company started on a simple beltshot, something we never saw coming...but they kept coming...the beltshots that is. The beltshots brought the people, and the people brought the money, and the money bought our clothes, and eventually, we became the wrestling superpower known as the OAOAST...well, not until I became World Champion at least! COLE But you were never Worl... STATIC What do you mean, Mikey? Of course I was! It was at Anglemania II, when I defeated the EEEEEEVIL Anglesault once and for all, POP DROP style, one two three, oh it was a hell of a night. Wasn't it a great night, babygirl? Static looks to "Alison" again, but obviously gets no reponse. STATIC Aw, she's just being shy. Between you and me, she didn't move much that night, if you know what I'm sayin'! Static nudges Michael Cole, but it's obvious Cole is unimpressed. All of a sudden, Jax slaps himself in the forehead, and stage blood starts dripping all over his face, and onto his shirt. STATIC DUDE! C'mon man, bloodstains are never gonna come out! I told you this deathmatch thing wasn't gonna work! JAX DUDE! Sorry dude, I haven't recovered from the barbed wire bed of nails glass door scorpion bowl double cheeseburger and a side of fries match I had with Sandman yet, dude! STATIC Dude, it's ok. Use your stunt double next time, it's what they're for! JAX DUDE! Ok, dude! STATIC Alright, Mikey Co... "Getting Away With Murder" hits, and the crowd cheers, although Static doesn't seem happy with the interruption. O'Hara, however, starts circling the ring waving the towels once again, acting happy to see the arrival of their arch nemesis. CABOOSE No good is going to come of this, I'm telling you right now! Zack Malibu heads down the aisleway, still clad in dress clothes, and not carrying his HI-YAH Title. It's obvious that the popular superstar is all business, as he hops into the ring and comes face to face with "Zack" Static, while Jax mockingly hides behind the mannequin Alison, and O'Hara...well he's still waving the towels in the air. STATIC Zack, dude! Hi-five! Malibu doesn't flinch, sneering at his rival. STATIC Oh wait, you don't do hi-fives...you do the COOL HANDSHAKE! Put 'er there! Static extends his hand, but Malibu knocks it away, then yanks Michael Cole's arm towards him for the mic. MALIBU You trying to get my attention again, Scotty? Static laughs, and just shakes his head. STATIC Why does it always have to be about YOU, huh? Why? Obviously, Zackary, this promo has gone over your head. Obviously, it hasn't sunk in. Why is it that three, four years ago when it was YOU doing this stuff, it was hip? It was cutting edge, it was hot, but here we are, doing the same stuff you did, and it's WRONG? Zack Malibu...you are nothing more than a hypocrite! Static jabs his finger into Malibu's chest to prove the point, and Malibu just looks down at it. STATIC This company, "your" company, Zack, there used to be a spark to it. There used to be the air of unpredictability, where you never knew what would happen next. People used to do their own thing and not worry about the consequences, especially you, Zack. You were the rebellious one. The one who didn't give a damn about the office, the fans, the roster...you did what you had to do. The In Crowd, the glory days, it's like when you left them behind you left yourself behind with them. You became the "company man", the poster boy, defender of truth, justice, and the Anglesault way...and somewhere along the way you lost what made you a MAN. What made you a STAR. Now, you see three guys doing what you used to do...stirring the pot, running amuck...and it makes you SICK, not because you're a company man, not because you're looking out for the best interests of everybody...but because it's not you anymore. You're not the trend anymore, Zack. You're not "it". You're not IN. We, that is, us three...well four if you count the dummy...WE are the next step. WE are bringing back the glory days, while we help this company evolve to the next level, and YOU keep trying to halt the process. Now, out of respect, Zack, we shook your hand. We do respect what you've done in the past, but not what you're doing now, and that's why we're at the point that we're all at. Sure, you're trying to keep us on our toes with the dreaded mystery men, and that's fine. You think we're intimidated? Scared? BRING IT ON. Whatever you've got planned, well if it was so great, it wouldn't be a secret now, would it? Sure of himself, Static backs away, giving mic time to Malibu, which the fans are eager to see. MALIBU You know, you bring up some good points. Something has been missing from this company. I'll be the first to admit, things aren't what they used to be. But to think that you three can be the saving grace? There's a HUGE difference in what I did, and what you bring to the table...the main difference is respect. When I came in, I stirred shit up...I stirred a LOT of shit up...and The In Crowd, there was nothing better. But the thing is that at the time, this place, this company, it was a vanity project for one man, and you know who that man is...his name is still a part of this company...but it was me...ME, who took it to the next level. It was ME who earned his repsect in defeating him, and elevated this company to the global power that it is today. It was ME who paved the way for people like you to have jobs, to come here, and not deal with the politics, or the cliques, but what do you do? You go ahead and do the opposite, with the whole Upstarts deal, pissing on the home office figuratively AND literally, and THAT is why I said that I respect your talent, but not your viewpoints. As for what's going on right now, you want unpredictable, then you haven't seen anything yet. The last few weeks, I've had you on your toes, and for good reason. Because the same era you want to see again, I'm about to bring back. The weeks of never knowing who's gonna show up, who's gonna do what...oh it's coming back. So be careful of what you wish for... STATIC SEE! SEE! Even that, right there...trying to say that you're going to bring the glory days back, but so serious in saying it. Don't talk, Zack...DO IT. No more of this vicious vendetta, serious promo crap. It's not working, and we're not buying it. You want to earn our complete respect? You want to intimidate us? You want this company to thrive...be what you USED to be, not what you ARE. The crowd "ooohs" as Malibu stares blankly at Static, the look on his face showing that Scotty has struck a chord. O'Hara, still playing the role of Superstar's original "towel boy", twirls the towls over his head...and Malibu spins around and nails him with a right hand! EvenJaxDDT picks up the Alison mannequin and swings it like a bat, but Malibu ducks under it, and when he turns around...BAM! SCHOOL'S OUT ON EVENJAXDDT! Malibu then picks up the dummy and chases after Static, who bails out of the ring...only to have the mannequin hurled down on top of him! The "In Crowd" bail, and the crowd is all too into it, chanting Zack's name as he stands with Michael Cole in the ring. MALIBU You want to play spin doctor and blame me for these things, well the time has come that I turn things around on you. For a few weeks now I've had backup, and EVERYONE has been wondering just what's going on. Well, you want unpredictable? I'll show you unpredictable. Living Angleously, this Sunday, you wanna bring back the glory days, then let's do it. Six man tag team match. You three against me and two of my friends. You wanna be "in", well then let's see if you can handle an "in"-itiation! CABOOSE Whoa! Quite a challenge by Zack there! Static, O'Hara, and a groggy Jax gather themselves in the aisle, and Static shouts back that Zack's on. MALIBU What...what...Cole, I can't hear them. Do me a favor, go see what they're saying. COLE No problem Zack, although I'm su...HEY! ZACK! ZACK! Suddenly, Malibu picks up Michael Cole and presses him over his head...and launches him through the air, sending him down on top of the GPX and O'Hara with an assisted bodypress! CABOOSE Now there's something we haven't seen in a while! Zack putting Michael Cole to good use! COACH I could make some cracks about that, yo. CABOOSE But I have a cricket bat here next to me, so you won't. Malibu then exits the ring, and goes and pulls Cole up. COLE They...they said...they said they accept. MALIBU Thanks Mikey, you're a pal. Malibu slaps Michael Cole on the shoulder, then delivers his old school wink and smirk to the camera before heading up the aisle, smiling back at the sneering trio that will face him and two mystery partners this coming Sunday. CABOOSE The twists in this situation just don't stop coming...first GPX and O'Hara admitted their respect for Zack, but continue to harass him...Zack has found backup, although no one is quite sure exactly who it is...and now he's been dared to revert back to his "old" self, which is a side of Zack that I'm not sure the GPX and Jamie O'Hara are prepared for! COACH Oh they're prepared...they wouldn't have dared him to do it if they didn't have something up their sleeve. CABOOSE If you say so, Coach, but I supposed we'll get some answers this Sunday, as Zack seeks retribution this Sunday alongside...well, we don't know who will be by his side! COACH That oughta help the buyrate some! We quickly switch to the backstage area where we see.....someone's back. The large "H" on the back of the t-shirt should give you a clue who it is and that suspicion is validated when Hoff turns to look at the cameraman, walking backwards down the hall with a bucket in his hand. HOFF We're almost there. I know this is kind of Jr. High-ish, but hey, everyone knows that I love a good little rib now and then. At least I don't rape guys in the shower. Ok, we're here. Hoff stops in front of a door and places his ear against it, putting his finger to his lips at the camera. He slowly pushes down on the door handle and cracks it open a bit before using his shoulder to push it fully open. HOFF Hey Dan, take your shower yet? With that, Hoff throws the bucket of water into the room and laughs his ass off. But suddenly his smile fades. HOFF Whoops. Hoff drops the bucket and runs past the camera as a livid (and soaked) Tony Brannigan bursts from the room and chases after him. The cameraman turns and the scene bounces rapidly as he chases after them as they turn a corner. We don't see what happens next....but we certainly can hear it. *CRACK* "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" The camera turns the corner and reveals Tony Brannigan writhing in pain on the cold floor, holding his ankle. The camera pans up......to reveal Drek Stone holding a steel chair and Hoff laying in the boots to Tony before grabbing the ankle and wrenching in an anklelock, causing more screams of agony to escape Tony's lips. Drek and Hoff share a hearty laugh at Tony's pain, but Drek suddenly sees something off-camera. DREK (to Hoff) Yo, let's go. Drek drops the chair while Hoff releases the hold and the pair take off running down the hall as a new figure comes into the frame. He kneels down to check on Tony and we see that that figure is of Dan Black. He tries to touch Tony's ankle, but that just causes a sharp pain that adds to Tony's agony. DAN HEY, I need some help here! We fade as Dan looks in the direction that Hoff and Drek ran, a look of pure hatred on his face. Commercial break Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted April 28, 2006 After some b-roll footage of Sydney nightlife, we head back into Acer Arena and over to Sofa Central. COACH CABOOSE Yeah, I'm sure you enjoyed that. Hoff and Drek with a sneak attack, whatta surprise. COACH COLE Well, we hope to have some word on Tony's condition later in the show. Next up tonight.....well, let's just roll the footage shot earlier today back in the US. *LOGO FLYBY~!* Funtime U.S.A, Sheepshead Bay, N.Y Not the usual place you'd expect a limousine to pull up in front of. This is the OAOAST though. Stepping out of the limo, Leon Rodez is casually dressed but his demeanour is far from casual. Infact, he looks noticeably scatty as he looks up, around, down, unable to properly focus himself as he seems to be in the middle of some sort of moral dillema. Scratching his head, Rodez begins to pace around the front of the building. Behind him, the doors to Funtime open and Charles Robinson sneaks outside, making sure not to be seen, despite the black and white striped referee's shirt that no-one in the wide world would be wearing right now, if not for an alterior reason. RODEZ Glad you could make it. ROBINSON It's like it says on my calling card, "I'll do anything for 40 bucks". So, are you sure about this? RODEZ Not really. But, look, just go with it okay? I think we passed a Dairy Queen on the way, so dinner's on me so long as you don't screw up. I have coupons. This camera guy's gonna have to buy his own though, I'm afraid. Now, let's go over the story one more time so we're clear... ROBINSON Okay. I'm here with my nephew and if you come in fancy dress you get in for half price which is why I'm wearing my referee's shirt. RODEZ And the cameraman? ROBINSON ...uhm...he's my nephew? RODEZ Good enough. ALI...C'MON OUT, WE'RE HERE! Stepping out of the limousine, a blindfolded Alix Maria Spezia stumbles forward a few steps and ends up in Leon's arms. Alix giggles a typically girlish giggle, excited no doubt about her promised surprise, and Leon returns the laugh...albeit it a nervous, guilty laugh. Lil' Naitch looks pensive too, knowing that if Alix suspects anything, he's likely in the frame for some nad-cracking. ALIX Oh, you'd think I'd be used to this thing by now. RODEZ Uhm, yeah. Let's discuss that later Ali. So, we're here and stuff so, take off the blindfold. Giggling gleefully once more, Alix reaches behind her head and hurriedly tugs at the blindfold's tie. Of course, she could just lift it off, but that wouldn't be as dramatic. Rodez looks nervous as Ms. Spezia's beaming brown eyes re-adjust to natural light, blinking away the momentary dis-orientation before her eyes lock on her big surprise. ALIX Oh...my...God...CHARLES ROBINSON! What are you doing here!?! ROBINSON Uh, wha? I'm, uh, I'm...oh God, I'm drawing a...a...wait, what's that thing you draw when you draw a...thing. Uhm, think Charles, think...I'm here...uhm... OH, I remember! I'm wearing my nephew's shirt because it was half price! ALIX Aw, that's sweet. What's that big building thing behind you, sweetie? (glances past Charles) IT'S A BUILDING! WOW! Is this my surprise? Is this what you bought me, you bought me a building? A whole entire building? Funtime U.S.A? This is what we flew halfway around the world, drove for five hours and slept in 3 motels for? Oh my god, this is the greatest thing ever! Like, greater than Coke with Lime. You put the Lime in the Coke you nut ya drink it all up. Oh, Leon, this is great! Not only do I love fun, but I also love the U.S.A! Time I can give or take, but the rest is just super! This is great! Can't you tell I'm happy? Am I not happy enough? Show me affection, please, I have issues! Why are you looking so nervous baby? Are you out of quarters already, because they probably have a quarter machine or something in there. RODEZ I'm fine. Just a little jetlagged. ALIX Well don't worry about that now because the four of us are going to have just SO much fun! OH, I almost forgot! Scampering back over to the fancy limousine, Alix routes around the backseat briefly before coming back out with her OAOAST 24/7 Championship draped over her shoulder. ALIX Can't go anywhere without this now, can I? C'mon guys, let's go and have a FUN TIME in the U.S.A! See what I did there, I took the words from the name and then I used them in a different way, which is so clever beca... Entering through the front doors, Alix's voice trails off, leaving a silent Leon outside with arms folded. ROBINSON On the plus side, I don't think she suspects anything. *CUT TO:-* ALIX ...so just like that I was able to make a new sentence, pretty clever huh? We are now inside Funtime U.S.A. Alix Maria Spezia has just walked through the door, her rambling voice continuing on downstairs while we are currently on the first floor/balcony type level of the building, overlooking the ground floor. Don't get confused though, as Charles, Leon and camera-man are still outside. The other camera-man is here on other duty. Hidden behind a humming pinball machine against the wall, former 24/7 Champion Mackenzie DeCenzo lies in wait with her muscle-bound, macho man tag team combination, Nutrition's Real Gurus keeping watch. Well, Flex is keeping watch. Biff is playing Virtua Tennis 3, currently getting his Henman handling ass whooped by Jim Courier. Not actually Jim Courier, we couldn't afford him, but the CPU version. The camera-man gives the signal to the trio that Alix has arrived, which brings a sinister smile to Mackie's rouge lips. MACKENZIE Ah, the imbecile has landed. Okay guys, this is it. Finally, after 7 long days, my chance at revenge. My chance to recapture the OAOAST 24/7 Championship, the pinnacle achievement of my career. This time, that little bleach strawberry blonde bimbo isn't gonna get away so easily, mark my words. And then I, Mackenzie DeCenzo the First, shall be proclaimed... *SLAM!* BIFF BULLSHIT! THAT WAS ON THE LINE! ON THE LINE! I SAW THE CHALK FLY UP, DAMNIT! MACKENZIE Hey, MacEnroe, quit goofing off and listen! And keep the noise down you idiot, she's dumb not deaf! Now listen, here's the plan. When she comes up those stairs I want you both to be ready and waiting to pounce on her like wild, ravenous beasts! It's what we master strategists call an 'ambush'. Oh and Flex, the key to an ambush is the element of surprise. Sneak attacks don't work if you go up to someone's face, reel off some long diatribe and then tip a table over before you do it. Surprise her. Try to blend into your surroundings. Flex looks down at Biff's hula skirt, curiously. FLEX In a kids amusement arcade? MACKENZIE Hide behind a machine or something. FLEX Won't we look...you know...'shifty'. MACKENZIE Two muscular men, one wearing a hula skirt, acting suspiscious in a kids amusement arcade? What could be wrong with that? Just try and look inconspicuous, Alix isn't that smart. Once you've ambushed her, you leave her to me and deal with Rodez. Got me? Glancing through the bars of the protective barrier at the end of the balcony, Mackie sees Alix beginning to skip merrily up the steps towards the trio and smiles again. MACKENZIE Places people, places. *clapclap* *MEANWHILE:-* Outside, Leon and Lil' Naitch are still outside the building. Outside. Hesitating, Leon moves towards the entrance but stops himself short with a shake of the head. RODEZ I can't do it. She'd never forgive me. ROBINSON Not to mention Krista tearing you a new peehole. That could interfere with your daily habituals quite a bit. RODEZ No kidding. (groans) Listen, Charles, if we can make this as quick and as painless as possible that'd be fantastic. ROBINSON That's exactly what my first girlfriend said to me. RODEZ ... ROBINSON But that was 15 years ago now. Rodez an eyebrow, PRL style. ROBINSON Okay, 15 months. So, you were saying? RODEZ This is going to be painful enough as it is, I really don't want Alix to get physically hurt. I mean, she's a chirpy girl and she'll get over any sort of mental hurt like a grazed knee or sitting through an episode of Hope and Faith. But I can't hurt her physically. So, when your time comes to shine, I don't want you across the building playing Skeeball. I want to be in and out of here as fast as possible, kapeesh? ROBINSON That exactly what I said to my first girlfriend. Except the kapeesh part. We...didn't really get along. RODEZ I guess not. Fixing his shirt and his hair, Rodez takes a last deep, sombre breath. RODEZ Let's do this. Finally Rodez now enters the building and prepares to do...whatever it is he's preparing to do. But as soon as he gets inside he realises flaw one in his plan. Alix has a mind of her own and has wandered off, in search of some fun...in the U.S.A. Rodez places his hands on his hips and scans the building. A few kids, not many, it's pretty early in the day. Couple of bored looking staff, who could blame them? Charles Robinson, that's a given. Biff Atlas, gorilla pressing a cute looking redhead over his head and threatening to toss her over the balcony. RODEZ Crap. *ANOTHER CUT HERE:-* ALIX HELP! HEEEEEEEEEELP! SAVE ME MARIO! MACKENZIE BIFF, PUT HER DOWN! I need both of her shoulders attached to her body to win the title, just give her to me. Nevermind that Biff Atlas might want to be the 24/7 Champion himself, Mackenzie is teh b055~! so the haircare connoisseur carelessly drops Alix and sends her crashing face-first to the hard floor beneath his feet! Alix is spared a 40 foot fall but still ends up in serious pain as her attempts to cushion her fall fails miserably. Rolling onto her back, Alix clutches at her face and if her eyes weren't covered, she'd be relived to see Biff retreating. She wouldn't be relieved to see Mackenzie advancing though, the vengeful former champion grabbing two handfuls of hair and dragging Alix across the abrasive flooring. ALIX AH! That hurts! EEK! MACKENZIE That's the point dimwit! Now shut up and stop squirming! ALIX Why are you doing this to me? OW! All I wanted was a fun time... OUCH! ...in the U.S.A... OOH! MACKENZIE You stole my title! ALIX You stole my boyfriend Kyle! Oh, wait, that was 8 Simple Rules, nevermind. YEEOUCHEE! Dragging Alix to a stop, Mackenzie lifts Beverly Hills' favourite prodigal daughter to her feet and with handfuls of hair intact she charges forward and slams the poor Champion's face into a South Park pinball machine, causing it to spew out some vile, lurid catchphrase that really isn't that funny. Kinda like the show. Yep, I said it. Luckily the glass doesn't shatter, but Alix isn't in a state to thank goodness for small mercies. Stumbling backwards, Alix falls back into Mackie's clutches, NRG's spiritual leader hurling her roughly to the floor. Mackenzie is distracted though, as across to her left, another fight has broken out. Looking to defend his girlfriend's honour, Leon Rodez has sprinted upstairs and is now struggling to fight off NRG. Biff and Flex club away at the back of The Silky Smooth One, trying to keep him at bay. However, Rodez is driven on by pride, by honour and mainly by guilt and he soon begins to fight back, landing jabs on each member of NRG in turn. Biff being Biff, Biff soon drops to his knees and begs for mercy, allowing Leon to take the attack to Flex Phillips. Scuffling away, Flex and Leon dissappear into the depths of the arcade, leaving a trailing Charles Robinson to stumble upon a pinfall attempt by Mackenzie on Alix... 1... But Alix kicks out quickly and wisely scrambles to get away. Mackenzie follows close behind and tries to grab at Miss Spezia's long auburn hair, only to get shrugged off repeatedly. So instead she settles for planting her high heeled shoe in Alix's tight BUTT and barging her forward, with a thump into the side of an arcade machine. A dazed Alix is feeling like a pinball in her own right now, stumbling around aimlessly in a duel attempt to keep her balance and get away. Hot on her heels, Mackenzie clubs Alix in the spine with a forearm. Weakly, Alix drops down to her knees, Mackenzie making her pay for her brief rest by striking her in the head with a buzzsaw kick! Down goes Alix as Mackie now looks to win the title again, rolling AMS over and draping across with a pin... 1... 2... Kickout! MACKENZIE Alright, you wanna drag this out, fine by me! It's not like I have to catch a flight to Australia or anything. Taking the hair again, Mackenzie drags the squealing Alix around like a disobedient dog and throws her away with destain. Looking around the arcade, vile schemes roll through Mackie's mind, eventually settling on a plan. The former Champion abandons the current Champion briefly and strides over to another one of the machines, ignoring the noise of the hardcore street race on screen. This one happens to be occupied, but Mackie doesn't care about that, taking the poor young teen by the collar and drags him away from the steering wheel in his hand. The boy tries to protest, so Mackie smacks him across the face with a stinging slap before taking Alix and forcibly sitting her down in the driver's seat. Ever the Green Cross Code observer, as she comes to her senses Alix quickly grabs the wheel in front of her and brings the screeching car under control, narrowly avoiding oncoming traffic in the process. ALIX Hey, this game's pretty cool. Like a long-lost Schumacher sibling, Alix gets into the spirit of the game and seems to be doing pretty darned well, crossing the finish line with roaring speed... ...until Mackenzie, drawing herself away from the bitchin' graphics, grabs Alix's head and SLAMS her face into the steering wheel! "PLEASE..ENTER..NAME!" Rolling groggily off the seat, blood trickles from the nose of the 24/7 Champion now. Mackenzie smirks at this development before clambering over the plastic seat and dropping across Alix, signalling for Robinson to count... 1... 2... NUH-UH! "PLEASE..ENTER..NAME!" Ignoring the plees of the machine, Mackenzie brings Alix back up and drags her off, looking to cause some more machine related mayhem. Robinson hurries off after them, narrowly avoiding being clattered into as Flex Phillips arrives on the scene, being hurled into the back of the seat shoulder first which causes the plastic to splinter slightly, no doubt worrying the OAOAST's accountants. "PLEASE..ENTER..NAME!" RODEZ Huh...oooh hooo, okay! "A" "S" "S" RODEZ Heh heh heh, never gets old. Rodez goes back to some stompage on Flex... ...but elsewhere, the more important matter of the 24/7 Championship hunt continues. Mackenzie has Alix well at hand now as she drills a knee into her midsection, then grabs the bracelet clad wrist of Miss Spezia and setting her for an irish whip. However, a quick 360 allows Alix to counter the whip and send Mackie forward, clattering spine-first into a Pacman console! Mackenzie slumps against the machine, as Alix regains her bearings and once sure her nose isn't broken she breaks into a...well, not a sprint. More a stuttering stride. ALIX WOCKA WOCKA WOCKA WOCKA WOCKA A clothesline crushes Mackenzie up against the machine once more and drops her to her knees in contorted pain. Not one to rest on her laurels, Alix follows up quickly with a hurried stomp that smushes Mackie's head up against the base of the machine. With DeCenzo now dealt with, Alix looks around in search of her boyfriend...and is shocked to see Flex Phillips with "Lee-Lee" over his shoulder, preparing to powerslam him on the unforgiving floor. So bravely, Alix runs over to her boyfriend's rescue and buries her heel into Flex's crotch, causing his eyes to bug out and his arms to release Rodez. Flex groans and meekly questions God as to why he has been forsaken as he drops to his knees. Showing some nice teamwork, the OAOAST's cutest couple then haul Phillips to his feet and send him flying across the arcade with a double whip. Flex is unable to stop and keeps on running, until finally a buffer stops him. That buffer being a handrail, as Flex crashes and burns in front of the Dance Dance Revolution machine. And who else is gonna be on a DDR stage other than The Dance Dance Dragon? Well, maybe Hoff. Angry that his Combo has been disrupted, The Strong Style Party Animal leans over the handrail and just SMACKS Flex with a forearm that KOs the fitness fanatic. Dragon then goes back to his game, while Alix and Leon regroup. ALIX Lee-Lee, are you okay? RODEZ I think so...you still have the belt? ALIX Yep. I think we should maybe go now? This was a sweet surprise and stuff and it's definately the U.S.A, but it's not that Fun. So, maybe it's Time we went? RODEZ Sure. This wasn't a good idea anyway. Taking his girlfriend by the hand, Leon leads Alix towards the stairs...but she has other ideas. ALIX While we're here though... Alix nods towards the big slide that leads from the second floor to the ground, with a childish grin on her face, which Leon returns in kind. RODEZ Meet you downstairs. ALIX Yay! Girlish flee overcomes Miss Spezia as she skips over towards the slide. Leon meanwhile decides to take the stairs, still wrestling with his conscience. But hey, at least Alix is having fun now as she scuttles over to the slide and with the camera-man gratuitously behind her, she sets off. ALIX WHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEE... ...EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE... ...EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE... ...EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! Hands waving in the air, it's amazing such a simple little ride can give a grown woman so much pleasure (dirty jokes on a postcard), but it does as Alix rides the bumps and skids to a halt. Almost in celebration, Alix jumps up and cheers her safe arrival on the ground...not expecting to be wiped out by a LARIATO~! by Biff Atlas!!!! Quick as a flash, Biff does what any red blooded, slightly creepy, hula skirt wearing muscleman would and dives on top of the half-conscious Alix... ...and despite only being halfway down the slide, Charles starts a counting! 1... WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEE... 2... WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEE... RODEZ BREAKS THE FALL! RODEZ Nobody's taking my girl's belt, fool! ROBINSON Except you, right Leon? RODEZ ...shut up! This momentary conversation between referee and wrestler who isn't actually wrestling because he's in a kids entertainment complex distracts Leon momentarily, allowing Biff to capitalise with an uppercut to the gut. Rodez sprawls backwards and Biff abandons Alix for the moment, following Leon with an attempted clothesline. Leon ducks however, clocking Biff in the jaw with a back elbow and dragging him down with a stunner across the knee, aka The Facial! Biff is snapped back upright by the move and Rodez quickly capitalises with a jab! A jab! A jab! A ja...DUCKED! Biff points to his cranium to show how smart he is, to no-one in particular. But as he turns back around in search of The Silky Smooth One, he eats a big-time Superkick! Down goes Biff, as Leon takes a moment to get to know his assailant. RODEZ Why the hell are you wearing a hula skirt? BIFF *incoherent mumbling* RODEZ Eh, nevermind. Pulling Biff to his feet, Rodez uses another irish whip to send Biff steaming forwards. The Biffmeister goes clattering into a piece of guardrail and topples up and over, landing hard and audibly on his hip. To his credit, Biff pulls himself quickly back up, but that proves a mistake as Rodez charges forward and SOARS over the rail with a psuedo plancha, wiping Biff out in the process! ROBINSON HOLY CRAP!! The two men crash backwards and fall against a strength tester, one of those carnival things. Rodez pulls himself up first and swipes the heavy mallet away from a shocked worker as Biff slowly recovers and hauls himself back up. Leon doesn't seem to be concerned with that however, as he looks at the contraption in front of him and decides to show any 7 year old kids who happen to be nearby that he is indeed 'buff'. Wielding the mallet overhead, Rodez aims and swings... ...but detours the target... ...instead NAILING BIFF IN THE CROTCH WITH THE MALLET!!!!! BIFF AAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! Eyes watering, Biff collapses in a heap. Rodez quickly disposes of the mallet and proceeds to go through a quick posedown routine to display that YES he is, indeed, 'buff'. Of course, he's wearing a shirt, but whatever. Posedown over, Rodez now leaves the whimpering Biff to it as he turns around and... ...sees no Alix. RODEZ Where'd Alix go? ROBINSON She left. RODEZ She left? ROBINSON She left. RODEZ She left!?! RODEZ Well, that's not strictly true. She went over to the Food Court and grabbed herself a hot-dog, put some mustard on it and then she left. Limo just drove off. So, I guess we're walking to Dairy Queen then, are we? Shocked, Rodez looks around briefly before glancing out the door. Yep, she's gone. So's the limo. Running a hand through his finely gelled hair, disappointment is clear on Leon's face. Surely because he has to walk, right? He had something in the limo, yeah? He wasn't really going to try and win the belt, was he? RODEZ DAMNIT! Oh, nevermind, he was. Okay, on with the show! (BACK TO SYDNEY) The arena crowd breaks into cheers after what they had just watched and we go back to Sofa Central. COACH Heh, "A-S-S". Leon's right, that never gets old. COLE Well, I guess Leon's gotta think of something else to get his 24/7 title back. Earlier tonight, right before our last commercial break in fact, the feud between the rogue superstars of Hoff and Drek Stone and born and bread OAOAST originals Black T escalated further when, during a confrontation between Tony and Hoff, Tony ended up with an injured ankle..... * Black T-Hoff/Drek Stone melee is replayed * COLE (CONT'D) ......courtesy of a Drek Stone cheapshot. COACH Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, baby boy. That was self-defense, plain and simple. T-Bod sought out Hoff with intent to harm, maybe even kill. We know how that turned out for Mr. Brannigan. CABOOSE It was just last week that Drek Stone and Tony Brannigan vowed not to interfere in the affairs of Hoff or Dan Black. But as we learned tonight and as we've always known, always take what Drek Stone has to say with a grain of salt. COLE With an update on Tony Brannigan's condition, we go backstage to Josh Matthews. The repercussions from the Black T-Hoff/Drek Stone scuffle is evident backstage as the dressing room of Dan Black and Tony Brannigan is swarmed with officials and medical personal. Also in the room is OAOAST correspondent Josh Matthews. Behind him OAOAST officials and trainers attend to Tony Brannigan, who grimaces in pain as his ankle is examined. JOSH Guys, I can tell you security has really tighten up backstage, especially here in the dressing room of Black T. Dan Black had to be escorted out of the room to cool off. Suffice to say, he's irate over what happened to his partner. I can also report Tony Brannigan collasped backstage after he tried to walk under his own power, that ankle obviously causing him much pain at the moment. I'm now going to try to get a word with Tony Brannigan, who as you can see is currently being attended to. Uh... Tony, if--if I may have a word with you. TONY No, you may not! COACH Well, at least he's still a gentleman about it. JOSH Tony Brannigan in no mood to speak. Perhaps I can get a word from one of the physicans in the room. (seeks doctor) Um, excuse me, doctor. May I have a word with you, please? DOCTOR #1 Yes. JOSH What is the prognoses? DOCTOR #1 Well, Josh, the prognoses is... TONY (Off-Screen) ...IT HURTS LIKE A BITCH! Josh happily brushes off the doctor in favor of the now eager to speak Tony Brannigan. TONY (breathing heavily) Just like I'm gonna hurt that bitch, Drek Stone. Drek, I told you'd better practice what you preach or you'd find yourself lying next to Hoff in some hospital bed in Indiana faced with the threat of staph infections and other vile viruses after I got done with you, because you signed your own death warrant in front of a worldwide television audience. Brannigan's Law is unlike any other in the world. My laws are...none! I make the rules. Now I'm gonna take out my pain on YOU, Stone! Bad ankle or not...I WANT YOU ONE ON ONE SUNDAY NIGHT AT LIVING ANGLEOUSLY! No more threats or sneak attacks. We let our actions speak for themselves Sunday night. That's right, Stone, I'm challenging you to fight me like a man Sunday night. How about it, huh? I'm gonna prove to you and everyone watching that a one-legged man can win an ass-kickin' contest. Sunday night in Indianapolis, Indiana, myself and Mr. Black will do Drek Stone and Hoff the favor of running their asses outta town again! JOSH COLE Oh, my! Tony Brannigan vs. Drek Stone this Sunday night at Living Angelously? Will Drek Stone accept? We'll find out after the break! Stay tuned to HeldDOWN from Sydney! Commercial break Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted April 28, 2006 COLE Folks, Living Angleously is this Sunday, and we have a stacked card planned for you! However the show got a bit more interesting when Miss California herself Krista Isadora Duncan issued an invitation of sorts to Flex Phillips, Biff Atlas, Melvin Nerdly, Marvin Nerdly, Alix Maria Spezia, and Leon Rodez, to participate in Run For The Gold 2 at her house in Los Angeles! On the line in this Living Angleously edition of RFTG is the highly sought after 24/7 title. The belt has been hotly contested over the past few weeks, and now the top contenders are getting their chance to lay their hands on it. It should be amazing! COACH Hold up, Tinkerbell. I can understand Alix, Leon, Flex, and maybe Biff being in the RFTG but what are Melvin and Marvin doing there? COLE Maya thinks Marvin and Melvin are the hottest thing ever so she begged her mom to let them come over, and Krista agreed. And I don't really care for you calling me Tinkerbell, thank you. CABOOSE This whole setup doesn't sound like something Krista would be willing to do. Completely out of character. Is this some kind of joke? If Krista doesn't even like wrestling, why would she ever let a wrestling match happen inside her million dollar home? She knows good and well the place is going to get trashed by those psychopaths. COLE The inside scoop is that she proposed the match with the caveat that anything the wrestlers break the company has to reimburse her for at three times the original retail price. She's looking to redecorate on the company's dime, and this is the best way to it. CABOOSE Now, that sounds more like Krista. COLE Now folks, the OAOAST has partnered with MTV to bring you a special HeldDOWN edition of Cribs featuring the lavish Beverly Hills estate of Krista Isadora Duncan. This will give you a sneak peek at the course of the second annual Run For The Gold. Take a look.... 5 Bedrooms 6 Baths Beverly Hills, California. Once the stats fade we're shown a montage of images that display Krista's landmark estate and spare me from having to write a flowery description, providing me with more time to masturbate. A view from the fabulous front. A charming look of basement level front walkway A shot of the pool and it's sweeping city and ocean views The images end and we're transported to the lush settings of the front porch where Krista Isadora Duncan, wearing a fern colored tank top and desert camo print cropped pants, is leaning against her French door, tapping her foot impatiently. KRISTA Hurry up and get your asses in here! And make this quick, I gotta pick up my kid at soccer practice in an hour. To accentuate the point that Krista isn't the friendliest gal on earth, the camera man zooms in on her welcome mat which reads Go away in vibrant bold letters. We're shown a highlight package of Krista's various accomplishments and performances. Conspicuous in their absence are any mentions of Krista's work in the field of pro wrestling. What is featured in the presentation are excerpts from her fitness videos, shots of her book signings, images of her on Hollywood red carpets, and images from her modeling photoshoots. When the package ends, we return to the “live” shot. Krista kicks the door open allowing the camera crew to step into her not so humble adobe. The home audience is blessed with a breathtaking view of her stunning hallway, who's flooring is constructed of marble tile imported directly from Italy. A water fountain stands in the middle of the floor, it's streams, illuminated by gold and blue lights, reach to the edge of the gold beamed ceiling. The wall length windows above the spiraling stair case beam down sun rays, that give the area an almost Heavenly feel that's sure to warm anyone's heart. KRISTA Hallway meet cribs, cribs crew meet hallway. I think my interior decorator's secret identity must be Aqua Man, because there's this whole aquatic theme going on. Right when you walk in you see this gorgeous fountain in the middle of the floor, with these little succubus sculptures in the center spewing water towards the ceiling. I think it's a pretty cool sight. Krista seats herself on the edge of fountain, and splashes her hands through the water. KRISTA Bordering the walls there's a mini lake with little gold fish swimming in it. And then the you can see that the carpeting on the stair case kind of makes it look like a waterfall with water cascading down. Definitely decorated by Aqua Man. But can you imagine how much it would suck to be in mortal danger, and your only hope of survival is Aquaman? “Help, we're trapped inside this burning eighteen story building!” “Don't worry Aquaman is on his way.” “Aquaman? He'll use his powers of water manipulation to create a giant and continuous stream of water to put out this blazing inferno! Hooray! We're saved!” “Naw, Aquaman don't do that.” “Well, what does he do?” “That muthafucka talks to fishes.” “” KRISTA When is Aquaman ever gonna be of use to anyone? I guess if you're negotiating a hostage situation with Free Willy, or talking Flipper out of a suicide bombing, Aquaman may come in handy, until then screw 'em and screw The Flash. He can run fast. So what? Carl Lewis can run fast, is he a superhero to? Where's his red spandex tights? Anyway, there's so much more to see, so follow moi. **** The scene shifts to a wide shot of Krista's sophisticated dining room. Standing in the center is an absolutely beautiful antique table constructed from beech wood. Off to the side, striking an imposing figure, are two matching glass shelves, with beveled glass doors and beveled mirrors. However the dining room seems more like a miniature botanical gardens then a place where a formal dinner might be conducted, as gorgeous flowers and large exotic plants have overran the majority of room space. KRISTA Welcome to the jungle, baby, you're gonnnnna die! Well, it only looks like a jungle, but it's actually our dining room. The reason the room looks like Poison Ivy's lair is because it's supposed to be this sort of fanciful, mythical place, that makes you feel like you're in a dreamland or a fairy tale. I got the idea from the garden in the opening scene of Suddenly Last Summer, the Tennessee Williams play. Unfortunately, no one really ever eats in here. Maya and I just usually eat out, or order Chinese food and eat on the couch and watch Gilmore Girls or Zoey 101 on the big screen. But it's nice to know we've got our own Little Shop of Horrors in case we ever feel like getting eaten by oversized carnivorous plants. Anyway, see that bookshelf over there near the window? If you pull the copy of War and Peaceforward, the wall will spin around to reveal the entrance to my meth lab. Groovy, huh? Krista walks over to the glass shelves, which house a wealth of personal pictures. KRISTA This is where I keep a lot of my favorite pictures. Most of them are of my daughter Maya. But here's a picture from a couple Halloweens ago, where I'm dressed as Sonny Bono. Ned was supposed to dress as Cher, but changed his mind and went as a top hatted piece of poop instead. And considering that he is in fact a piece of shit, and an unemployed one at that, it was actually a very fitting wardrobe choice. You know, I heard Ned caught a bit of an illness recently. Hopefully it's nothing trivial. So what else do we have on this shelf? Here's a picture from my first major modeling gig with Revlon. Note my poofy feathered hair that makes it look like I should be dancing on top of a station wagon before a Whitesnake concert. Here's a current picture of me with my friend Megan. She happens to be about ten years younger then me, has all her expenses paid by me, and currently lives in the guest house rent free. Read into that arrangement what you will...... **** The shot switches to one of Krista's bedroom. Resting inside the east wall is a fish tank that stretches the length of the room. It may be one of of the most eloquent fish tanks in the state, containing a variety of exotic and foreign salt water fish. A rock crystal chandelier hangs above the center of the room, basking the luxurious area in a radiant glow. Beyond shutter flanked French Doors on the west wall is an overhanging entertainment patio, which overlooks the entire back yard and provides a view that stretches all the way to the Pacific Ocean. KRISTA Here's the bedroom, where the magic hasn't happened in six years. I probably couldn't make Whoopie if my last name was Goldberg. Anyway, over on the south wall is a mural of the skyline of New York. The reason I have it is because as a kid I always dreamed of living in a penthouse that had a view of the NYC skyline. But when I got older, I realized that everyone east of the Mississippi river was a horrible, disturbing and black hearted human being. Just like me! Therefore I wouldn't be unique on the East Coast. But here in Cali, I am unique because everyone is a nurturing, caring, loving, and understanding person. And I'm the cold hearted bitch who's running old ladies off the road and giving the middle finger to deaf school children. In my defense I only give them the finger because they're deaf and they can't hear me scream “GET THE HELL OUTTA THE WAY, YOU DAMN BASTARDS.” Anyway above the bed post, I've got an guitar autographed by Kurt Cobain, touch it and I strangle you with the strings. Alix has a room a couple doors down, but I won't take you in there, because I'm afraid her stupidity might be contagious. I couldn't live with myself if I gave the world another person who thinks that reason that leafs fall off trees is because they're jumping off before the birds can eat them. Mumbling something about Alix's ditziness, Krista leads us towards a nondescript door at the back of her bedroom. KRISTA Behind this door lies my shangri-la. My Utopia. My personal paradise. My sanctuary. My Arnold's drive in. My walk in closet! Hey, you gotta watch this; you open the door and... (Krista opens door and trance music comes out of a ceiling based speaker inside the room) KRISTA Music plays. Close it? Music stops. Open it? Dance music plays again. It's like the world's smallest Abercrombie and Fitch store. All I need is a strobe light, some ecstasy, and some underage girls strung out on PCP, and I could have a bitchin' rave everyday of my life. We're shown a roaming shot of the walk in closet, which is bigger then most people's entire apartment. The east wall is home to hundreds of shirts and tops, while the west wall contains Krista's army of pants, skirts, and dresses. Over on the south wall is the gorgeous 18th century vanity table, made up of 24 Karat gold fixtures. A wet bar stands next to it. KRISTA Of course I have to have a bar filled with ice cold Bud Light. That way I can use the liquor to kill off my memory cells and forget the fact that I just spent six thousand dollars on shoes. On my laptop over there on the dresser I have this neat little program that lets me preview different outfit combinations, and mix and match them to get the best look. That's what America's best and brightest minds are doing. Not working on finding a cure for cancer, or a solution to world hunger, but designing a computer program that lets me find what slutty top and what tight pair of jeans are going to make me look thirty instead of thirty five. After pouring herself a glass of Ol No.7 from the bar, Krista ventures towards her enormous collection of expensive dresses. KRISTA To me it's important to be on the cutting edge of fashion and to look your sharpest. I mean, I've always been on the best dressed lists. If you were clever, you'd say and “you've always been on the least dressed list to.” And then I'd crack a beer bottle across your skull, and we'd see who's the clever one amongst us and who's the one soaked in blood and fighting a futile battle for their worthless life while I contemplate shoving the aforementioned bottle up their rectum. But you didn't make that clever quip, so this remains a non violent affair. Unfortunately. Let's move on. **** We switch to a view of Krista's living room, which, unlike the other rooms we've seen, is an utter mess of catastrophic proportions. The sea of filth and junk seems like it could consume the entire mansion at any second. If we ignore the mountains of junk, we'll notice that ocean colors are explored throughout the room's décor, bringing out the calming rhythms of nature. Large wall length windows herald the warm outdoor California climate and afford us a view of the back yard. KRISTA We call this the living room, but I wouldn't be surprised if there was a dead body buried underneath all this junk. Maya was in here earlier with her friend Katrina, and I guess that friend was hurricane Katrina because they turned this place into a disaster area. What a mess! She's got Xbox games lying all over the place, Barbies everywhere, empty soda cans, I can't even see the god damn carpet. Krissy gets on her knees to pick up a few Barbies and dump them into a nearby toy bin. KRISTA I have a maid, she's Lithuanian. I guess in Lithuania the word maid translates to sitting on your ass all day, drinking my beer, watching soap operas and smoking Virgina Slims while I pay you an exorbitant fee because I'm too self righteous and liberal to exploit illegal immigrants and hire cheap labor that actually does what they're paid to do! Anyway, over on top of the big screen TV are a lot of my awards. They function as a not subtle reminder to guests such as yourself, that I am in fact better then you. But you can take solace in the fact that your living room, unlike mine, does not look like it's being used as a reenactment for the Hiroshima and Nagasaki bombings. Stepping over the piles of filth, Krissy leads us to an impossibly complicated panel on the east wall, that consists of numerous video screens and over one hundred different buttons. KRISTA This is the security system, and you have a better chance of figuring out the meaning of life then figuring out how to work it. I have two masters degrees from Stanford and I can't figure out where the damn on/off switch is. Basically this thing let's me monitor every room in the house and get my creepy voyeur on when I have guests. Some of these buttons let me open and close all the curtains in the house, others let me turn on the sprinkler system, and the rest do some other stuff that I don't know about and never will know about because Alix used the instructions to wipe up the Kool-Aid Jammer she spilled on the carpet. That Alix, such a sweetie! I need a drink. **** The shot changes to one of Krista in her home gym, walking on a treadmill that's situated in the middle of a row of cardio machines. The equipment faces a line of wall based flat screen TVs, each showing different programs, from Real World, to Passions, to Pardon the Interruption. Life size posters of Krista decorate the sea blue walls. The wood floored room takes up the length of the basement level and is adorned with numerous pieces of exercise equipment, and several Powerade vending machines. KRISTA Just in case you lack any sort of capacity for logical thought and couldn't tell from the hundreds of weights and exercise equipment, this is my private gym. To be honest, I don't use half of this silly crap and stupid machinery. But as a fitness queen, people have this lofty expectation of what your home gym should be like. And I don't wanna disappoint so that why it looks like I've raided your local Ballys. Over on the west wall is the famous symbol of KID fitness, a very large outline of my body, done in 24 karat gold. Way over on the right is the racket ball court, which no one ever uses. In the back is the dance studio where I defy the sterotype that “middle aged white women can't dance” on a daily basis. I used to be a dancer for Guns N Roses so I know how to bust a move or two, kids. **** We're shown a shot of Krista standing on her spectacular patio that overlooks her rear yard. The patio boasts a tropical atmosphere with bamboo furniture and hurricane lanterns. The immaculate yard is an enormous compound, large enough to encompass another mansion. It's a splendidly private location, that sports a guest house in the back of the spacious grassy area. KRISTA If you put a fence around the better part of Disneyland, you'd have my backyard. Over there near the pool is the cabana, with some stupid little tiki torches around it. I have no idea why I even own tiki torches. Although they make nice flaming spears to throw at narcissistic dead beat ex-boyfriends. Uh, the gated tennis court is waaaaaay down on the south end. Whenever I have any free time I'm usually swinging the racket. Although I'm typically swinging it at somebody's head and not at a little yellow ball. Krista walks down the patio steps and into the grassy area. KRISTA To the west we have the pool, which I never go into because it creeps me out. It reminds me of one of those Penthouse Letters stories, where two college aged jocks who are doing some house sitting are swimming naked in the backyard pool, and somehow wind up in a mutual masturbation session, with promises of more to come in the future. Name and address withheld by request of the author. That's why I like the tennis court, because I don't think college aged jocks masturbate each other on tennis courts. Something to think about. **** The scene shifts to Krista standing at her front door holding her two month old puppy, with the camera positioned on the porch. KRISTA So that would be my house. Thank you for allowing me to show you around. If you're ever in the neighborhood, do hesitate to stop by. (Krista tosses a beer to the camera man). Have a cold one for the road. Krista slams the door on the camera's face, and we fade out. We cut back to an actual live feed and see that Melvin Nerdly and his elder sister Melody have situated themselves in front of a TV in the locker room hallway. Melvin has a crazed look in his eye, one of an utter maniac hellbent on some lunatic goal. Melody is simply thumbing through an OAOAST magazine, drawing hearts around the pictures of Leon Rodez. MELODY Dude, if you're gonna be over Krista's house with Leon, see if you can get his number for me! And tell him that despite what the rumors say, that little thing I got....it isn't contagious. MELVIN (ignoring his sister and staring into space like a psychopath) Call the company and tell them to draw up the Melvin Nerdly name plate because that title is all mine, Melody. I'm looking at the list of Run For The Gold participants and I oughta text message them a piece of advice; stay home, don't bother wasting your time, do something worthwhile with your life, because Melvin's getting that strap, baby. The Run For The Gold should be renamed Melvin slaughtering five other tricks and bitches for his gold. They think they can take my belt. That's my belt. My shit. I'm keeping it. I'm saving it. And they think they can just walk up to Krista's house and take my shit? My own personal shit, right in front of my two eyes. That's not right. That's not happening. MELODY Are you Alix Spezia? Because it's still Ali's shit. And I bet Marv might have a thing or two to say about what you just said. MELVIN Marvin? Yo, forget that dude. The 24/7 title is a sucka free belt, and he's the biggest sucka I know. I love him but I've been waiting two years to get my hands on a singles title. Two long years of suffering. They say I was too short to be given a chance. Screw that. They say I didn't have the skills to hold a singles title. Screw that. They say I ain't high profile enough to be put in a title match. Screw that. They say I can't run with the so called big boys. Screw that. This no talent, low profile, unskilled midget will run their big boys right off the road, and take his 24/7 title and anything he else he damn well pleases. I may take their cars, I make their houses, I may take their sister's virginity, I may take their virginity. I may take whatever the hell I want. No more of this civil war, Upstart crap. The real upstart, the real man sneaking in the OAOAST's back door and wrecking their pristine little shit is Melvin Nerdly. Whenever I leave the house and step outside, the whole world gets put on alert, because I make big business happen everyday of my life. Sunday's going to be no different, I assure you that. I got dreams, Melody, major leauge Martin Luther dreams. I'm talking California dreamin'. I'm dreaming myself in a home that big, I'm dreaming myself with a ride that's tight, I'm dreaming myself with a stable of fine babes, I'm dreaming myself on the cover of Entertainment Weekly, I'm dreaming myself a handsome leading man in blockbuster Action Movies. Arnold, Van Damme, The Rock, and now... Melvin! And where does this dream start, Mel-o? MELODY With a snort of whatever cocaine you happen to be on a this moment? MELVIN All wrong, dudette. This dream starts with the 24/7 title. On Sunday night, the world will be mine. The 24/7 title is no mere wrestling belt, Melody. Oh no, oh no, oh no. It is a gateway that will take me up the stairway to heaven. And when I reach heaven, I will be crowned the holy kingdom's ruler. Come Sunday I will no longer be your brother, Melody, I will be your God! Worship me! Melvin hops up onto a table and throws his arms into the air, striking a triumphant pose. MELODY You drank a lot of Mountain Dew today didn't you? MELVIN Only about thirty or forty cans. Because I can't think of any other way to end this segment we'll abruptly cut back to Sofa Central. COLE (not aware he's on camera) So I said to him "I just wanted to see how it felt to sleep in the pouch", but they threw me out of the kangaroo pit anyway......what? I'm on? GAH! HEYYYYYYY, let's go to the back where Josh is with Drek Stone. COACH Heh. They couldn’t get Jackie Gayda? (Thinking his mic is off) So what DOES it feel like? The camera cuts to the back to see Drek Stone standing patiently, dressed in a casual white polo shirt and black khakis. Next to him is Josh Matthews, who is looking rather humiliated for some reason or another. While he’s holding a microphone in one hand, his other hand is out of the camera’s view, leaving the crowd to simply wonder why. JOSH Mr. Stone, please don’t make me do this. DREK Josh, I told you what the deal was from the second you came up to me. I’m not letting you back down from it now. JOSH Yeah, but this is the worst. I mean, this is awful. This is going to kill my career. DREK Yeah, as if your career is thriving right now. Damaramu’s agent laughs at you. I told you. Put it on or I walk away without giving you a word. With a groan, Josh Matthews looks to the left of him and then to the right, hoping no one is around to watch this. Of course, he forgets that millions of other people are watching it on their televisions. But no one ever said you needed to be smart to hold a commentating position in the OAOAST. DREK Go ahead. Just leap right into it. With a final deep breath, Josh Matthews suddenly reveals what he was concealing from the camera. He places an Australian cowboy hat on his head – the type you would see Steve Irwin wear as he dangles his baby in front of a crocodile – and immediately begins speaking. JOSH G’day, mates! I’m here to-die with Drek Stone. Drek, I yakked with Tony Brannigan earlier and he was looking like a stunned Mullet, he was. He said he wants to spar with ya at Living Anglelously! Whaddya have ta say?! Josh holds the microphone towards Drek, waiting for him to speak. All Drek can do is stare at Josh with a content smile on his face. DREK ….I can’t believe you went through with this. JOSH Gone is all me journalistic integrity! DREK Agreed. Now, Josh… Drek’s promo is cut off when someone walks in front of the camera proudly displaying a Foster’s beer in his hand. Damn product placement. He takes a huge swig of the alcoholic beverage and licks his lips, pleased with the national drink of Australia. JOSH Oh my! It’s Jarvo Aussie! DREK Who? JOSH Jarvo Aussie! From AWOL! DREK ….. JOSH That group from a while ago. The one that fought with Axel. The Australian stable. DREK …. JARVO Aye, blokes, how ya all doing? I was just taking a leisurely stroll with my can of Fosters when I thought I’d stop by. It’s Australian for beer, did ya know! JOSH Didn’t I see you drinking earlier this morning? Like….at 9 AM? Have you been drinking all this time? JARVO Aye! All Australians think beers are bonzers! DREK Yeah, yeah. Get the hell out of here. In one motion, Drek knocks the can of beer out of Jarvo’s hand, grabs him by the head, and chucks him out of the frame into a nearby brick wall. DREK Okay, let me continue. As I was saying…. *FWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!* Away in the distance, a low booming sound from some type of musical instrument can be heard. Drek looks to his left angrily as Cameron S. Aussie walks into the camera view with a didgeridoo in his hand. JOSH Oh my! Cameron S Aussie! Another guy from AWOL! DREK What the hell did AWOL stand for anyway? CAMERON Aye, mate. We stood for Australian….um….. DREK ……yeah….. JOSH …..hmm. Australian…. CAMERON Bit too many grogs I’ve had, me think. Can’t really remember the rest. Either way, just thought I’d play ya a tune! In yet another swift motion, Drek yanks the didgeridoo out of Cameron’s hand and cracks it over his head. The Australian crowd groans in sympathy as Cameron crumples to the ground. DREK Ugh, I hate Australia. This place is infested with people like this. If I could continue, the situation Tony Brannigan is in right now is his fault and nobody else’s. I warned him not to step in my way. I told him last week that if he tried to interfere in my business, there would be major consequences. He tried to do so tonight. And me, being a man of my word, showed him I don’t joke around. Everyone else around here might be filled with empty threats, but I’m deadly serious with the threats I make. Now Tony is hobbling around the arena with an ankle that could feasibly snap at any moment. I would have hoped that would teach him to slow down next time but, unsurprisingly, Tony is just a really slow learner. So you want to challenge me in a match, Tony? You want to scream and yell and call me a bitch and threaten to put me in a hospital bed? Do you have any idea who you’re dealing with?! Looking down at a stirring Jarvo, Drek stomps him on the back of the head before continuing. DREK Tonight was meant to be a warning, Tony. If you didn’t watch yourself at Living Anglelously, I intended to finish the job. I left you with your ankle intact because I wanted you to know I was only cautioning you not to interfere in Hoff’s match. But of course, you go and completely misinterpret what I set out to do. You decide to try to be the big and intimidating Tony Brannigan of old, challenging me to a match at Living Anglelously despite knowing you can barely even walk! Well, consider your challenge accepted. And now I WILL set out to finish what I started. I WILL make sure you pay for all the sins you have committed in the past few months. For trying to capitalize on my decision to leave and use it as a way to bolster your own reputation. For cheating at AngleMania V and ruining what should have been my triumphant return. And for being an imposter – PRETENDING to be someone that is worth MY TIME and MY EFFORT! With tears in his eyes, Cameron tries putting together the broken pieces of his didgeridoo, but Drek steps back and gives him a hard kick across the jaw, sending the AWOL member back down. DREK Tony, I don’t know if you’re aware, but your record – and Dan Black’s record – in singles matches is laughable. When you two aren’t around to help cover one another’s mistakes, you’re powerless. All we need to do is look at last year’s Living Anglelously. Dan Black stared up at the lights courtesy of Zack Malibu. And Axel defended his Heavyweight Title by driving your head into the mat with the Axel Slam for the three count. You and Dan had hoped to prove yourselves as single superstars and both of you were shoved right back into place. And now this year, at Living Anglelously 2006 once again, the two of you are spinning the wheel and trying your luck again against Hoff and myself. Well, it’s time to face facts that the results are going to be the same – only WORSE this time around. Not only are you and Dan going to lose simultaneously as you did twelve months ago, but you’ll be laying next to each other in the ambulance as you drive towards Indianapolis General Hospital sharing tales of how the two of you managed to break your ankles together on the same night. Josh? JOSH Aye? DREK Remember what I’m telling you here. In singles matches, Tony Brannigan’s record is a joke. The man is the classic definition of a choke artist. And at Living Anglelously, I’m going to continue the T-Bod Tradition. Axel should have no worries. Courtesy of the beatings Hoff and myself give Black T, Living Anglelously is going to be an eventful and historical show the Board of Directors will never be able to forget. Drek Stone moves to his right, finished with his interview and ready to relax, when he sees Saxon Aussie next to him grilling shrimp on a barbecue pit for a late-evening snack. SAXON Would ya like…? Drek gives Saxon a hard punch to the head, sending the hungry Queenslander down. DREK Don’t even get your stupid joke out. He begins to walk again until he sees the leader, none other than Kevin Jason Aussie, staring at him angrily from across the room. KEVIN Aye, you’re a real ocker! With a scowl, Kevin hurls a bright red boomerang at the Italian Stallion. With surprising speed, Drek ducks his head down and watches the boomerang sail right over his head – and, after a few seconds, spots it return and float over his head again. KEVIN Oh boy, I’m gonna chunder, I am! Kevin Jason Aussie tries dashing down the hallway to get away but he’s not quick enough. The boomerang bangs against the back of the head, sending him crashing into a conveniently placed inflatable swimming pool with a hungry crocodile waiting inside. KEVIN Oh my! I’m in trouble now! She’s a beaut, ain’t she?! Kevin starts wrestling with the crocodile as Drek surveys the damage around him with an exasperated look on his face. DREK I really really hate Australia. As he walks down the hallway, the camera moves back to Josh Matthews, who is now standing with a koala bear perched on his shoulder. He now seems to be wearing the cowboy hat proudly. JOSH Well, there ya have it! I’m Josh Matthews… Suddenly, a kangaroo wearing boxing gloves pops into the screen and gives Josh a hard jab across the face. JOSH OW! You are a POOFER, that’s what you are! Josh rushes forward to attack the kangaroo when he suddenly sees a group of convicts running towards him, complete with black-and-white striped prisoner uniforms, swinging clubs and nightsticks. JOSH AYE! There must be a dozen of ‘em! I better scatter! Josh quickly scoops up the koala and runs down the hall, the convicts chasing right after him. Benny Hill music inexplicably plays in the background as Josh runs down the hallway with convicts chasing right after him. Finally, the camera cuts back to Triple C. COACH Only in Australia! COLE Yeah, as if that interview was truly indicative of the Australian culture. CABOOSE Cole, it was. COLE Oh, damn! COACH Drek Stone vs. Tony Brannigan! Dan Black vs. Hoff! Only at Living Anglelously in three days on Pay-Per-View! Speaking of Hoff, the camera cuts to the back, where Hoff stands in his wrestling gear, with his new T-shirt on his back. The big man jogs in place as Mean Gene Okerlund, standing to his left, holds the mic. GENE So, Hoff, you've asked for this match tonight as a tune-up match for your Submission Match against Dan Black. Is that correct? Hoff stops in his tracks, and looks down at Gene sharply. HOFF Is that correct? Hell, no! Give me this. *yoink* HOFF Dan Black, you've been watching every move I make. Well, watch this one. I'm going to show you just how easy it is. This is the fate you've talked yourself into. Sunday, I break you. And I promise you...you will never forget. With a flip of the microphone (and a great catch by Mean Gene), Hoff heads for the ring. COLE Hoff will be in action....NEXT! Commercial break ********************* "MACHO MAN" RANDY SAVAGE" OOOOOOH YEEEEEAAAH, it's the MA-CHO MAN, rappin' at you about some merchandise! It's fresher than a Slim Jim...SNAP INTO IT! It's the new Hoff T-shirt OOOOOOOOOOOOH YEEEEEEEAAAAAH!!!! DIG IT!! VOICE-OVER Show your support for one of the most controversial stars in OAOAST history by wearing the new Hoff "Never Forget" t-shirt. In 100% cotton, this shirt is a fashionable reminder of the many accomplishments of the two-time OAOAST Heavyweight Champion. Order yours today! MACHO MAN SNAP INTO IT!! ********************** Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted April 28, 2006 The lights go down over the arena. A hypnotic guitar riff picks up, joined by a cymbal, joined by a bass line, building to a crescendo..... *BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM* As System of a Down's Hypnotize hits, the fans rise to their feet and let their feelings show. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" And with an enthusiastic grin, Hoff steps onto the stage! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following match is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, making his way down the aisle. He hails from Minneapolis, Minnesota, and weighs in this evening at 275 pounds. The two-time OAOAST Heavyweight Champion of the World.....HOFF!!!!!!! Hoff plays to the crowd, trying to pump them up. The Sydney fans meet him with only anger. Looking mockingly hurt, Hoff waves them off, then strides cockily down the aisle. COACH And that's something no one can ever take away from him, fellas. That attitude. The knowledge that you are every bit as good as you say you are. COLE As it says right on his shirt, "never forget" the things Hoff has done for this business. Folks, welcome back to HeldDown, and you picked a very good time to join us. For the first time in nearly eight months, Hoff is going to be in action on this program. CABOOSE And as much as I hate to say it, he's got what it takes in the ring. He may be a son of a bitch....but he can wrestle. COACH That's right, Caboose, and don't you ever forget it! NEVER forget. Ha! Hoff climbs the steel steps into the ring, then hits the near turnbuckles, taking his shirt off and throwing it into the crowd. Hoff throws his right fist into the air and points his left thumb at himself, nodding to the crowd with an arrogant smile. COLE Hoff came back to the ring at AngleMania V, and the opinion on his performance seems split. Some feel he was spot on, but many people feel that the big man was rusty. CABOOSE And a strong argument in favor of that is the fact that Hoff LOST at AngleMania. COACH Caboose, PLEASE, all right? I mean, every time we talk about Hoff, you gotta throw that in his face. The fact is, Hoff and Drek Stone were DOMINANT in that match. CABOOSE Well, that's certainly not how I remember it. Hoff hops off of the ropes and waits on his opponent for the evening. COLE Well, Hoff's opponent tonight is certainly no slouch! "Krokodilamadurinn" hits, and the lights go down as Spanish Fly pops out from the stage! The fans cheer their Aussie hearts out as Fly points to the crowd! BUFFER And, his opponent. Hailing from San Diego, California by way of Ti-hu-wanna, ME-HI-CO, and weighing in this evening at 175 pounds, he is the lucha libre sensation, SPA-NIIIIIIIIIIISH FLYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!! The crowd is raucous as Fly makes his way down the ramp, high-fiving the fans at ringside. Meanwhile, Hoff gets down on his haunches, looking at Fly with malicious intent. COACH Does Spanish Fly really think he has a chance tonight? CABOOSE Absolutely, he does. COACH I wasn't asking you! As Fly makes his way up the ramp, he spies Hoff in the ring. The big man waves Fly on, and the diminutive Fly throws his T-shirt off and slides into the ring! The timekeeper calls for the bell as Hoff meets Fly, who grabs him around the waist and starts throwing forearms! *ding ding ding* The fans are ecstatic as Spanish Fly doubles Hoff over with a series of quick shots, but as suddenly as the onslaught began, Hoff ends it with a HUGE forearm blow to the small of Fly's back! His back arches as he falls to his knees, and Hoff drives another big shot into the shoulders! Fly reels back, teeth gritted in pain, allowing Hoff time to take a step back and kick Fly HARD in the face! Fly falls backwards, landing sprawled on the canvas, as Hoff holds his arms out and looks across the crowd. The fans in Sydney let him know how they feel. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" COACH And see, SEE?! Just like that, Hoff changes the momentum of the match. COLE Hoff able to easily overpower Spanish Fly here in the early moments. Hoff walks over to Fly, draggign him up by the laces of his mask. Nonchalantly, Hoff whips Fly into the ropes. Fly hits, and runs right into a back elbow that sends him down! Hoff turns to face his opponent, who climbs to his feet, slightly dizzied. Hoff spins him around and nails a HUGE right hand that sends Fly staggering into the ropes! COLE Amazing power from the big man. CABOOSE Whatever you may say about "ring rust," Hoff certainly hasn't missed any time at the gym. Hoff grabs Fly's arm and whips him again across the ring. COACH Well with a body like that, would you skip any gym time? Fly hits the strands, comes off, and ducks under a Hoff clothesline. Fly hits the near ropes and catches Hoff as the big man turns with a SPINWHEEL KICK! Hoff hits the mat, and Fly rolls up to his feet! COLE This is how Fly can do some damage -- with his speed! The fans cheer as Fly hits the ropes again! As Hoff rolls onto his stomach, Fly leaps over the big man and keeps running! Hoff is doubled over as he gets to his feet, and Fly leapfrogs him as he comes off the far side! Spanish Fly hits the ropes and comes off with a HIGH cross-body that floors Hoff! COLE Spanish Fly getting rolling here on Hoff! Fly rolls off of Hoff's chest and up to his feet, where he points to the sky to a HUGE pop! Like a cat, the luchador hops onto the apron and scales the ropes while Hoff gets to his feet! Hoff turns, and Fly leaps with a BEAUTIFUL cross-body! Fly lands on Hoff's chest and hooks a leg! ONE!! TWO!! NO!! Hoff kicks out at two. CABOOSE This is to Fly's best advantage. Get Hoff reeling, throw him off his game, and you'll do some damage. Fly hops to his feet and waves Hoff up. With the crowd on his side, Fly stuns Hoff with a forearm shot to the face! Hoff reels, and Fly hits another, and another, knocking Hoff into the ropes! Fly whips Hoff...but the big man reverses and sends Fly into the ropes. Fly comes off, and Hoff lowers his shoulder for a back body drop, but Fly flips over his back! The fans cheer as Spanish Fly keeps running, hitting the far strands and coming off with a basement dropkick! Hoff's knee buckles, and Fly runs off the ropes once more! Fly comes off, but from one knee, Hoff pops up and catches him with a SPINEBUSTER~! The ring shakes as Fly hits the canvas, lying spread-eagle. Hoff looks down with anger in his eyes. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" COACH Oh yeah, baby, that's all it takes! COLE An earth-shattering spinebuster by Hoff. Hoff shakes his head and bends down, picking Fly up by the mask. Hoff stands his opponent, letting him reel as he steps back, and charges forward with a MONSTROUS clothesline that turns Fly inside out! COLE Hoff is simply overpowering Spanish Fly. It's hard to fight that. CABOOSE Fly needs to get his head clear and start running again. COACH Yeah, he better run! Hoff picks Fly up again, sending him into the ropes. Fly comes rocketing off the strands, and Hoff presses him up, letting him fall on his stomach! Fly clutches his ribs and chest as Hoff, smirking, walks a circle around his opponent. COLE And I think Hoff knows he has Fly right where he wants him! Hoff stops at Fly's feet, grabs his right leg, and APPLIES THE ANKLE--NO!! Fly rolls through the hold, sending Hoff falling into the ropes! The fans pop to their feet as Fly cups his hands and cries out "6-1-9!!!!" COLE What a reversal! Here we go! 6-1-9 time!! COACH Come on, Hoff! Fly runs the ropes, coming off and sailing through the near strands with the 6-1-9-- but Hoff ducks! The big man drops to the canvas, allowing Fly to sail through and onto the apron! Fly points to the lights as Hoff gets to his feet! Hoff turns, and Fly springboards off the top rope with a hurricanrana....but Hoff CATCHES his foe! The crowd "ooooooohs" and sucks their breath in! COLE And Fly goes to the well once too often! CABOOSE This isn't good for Spanish Fly. Hoff carries Fly, on his shoulders, to the center of the ring. Fly fires a couple of weak shots to the top of Hoff's head....before getting DRILLED with a huge powerbomb!! COACH DAYUM~! Hoff takes only a second to watch Fly writhe in pain, then grabs his ankle, turning him over with the anklelock!! COLE And there it is, the anklelock applied in the center of the ring! The fans stomp, trying to help Fly to the ropes...but trapped in the center of the squared circle, Fly has no choice, and he taps out. *ding ding ding* "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The official calls for the bell, then tries to get Hoff to break the hold. BUFFER The winner of this contest via submission...HOFF!!!! Hoff smiles as he torques the ankle of Spanish Fly, prompting even more boos from the crowd!! COACH And there it is, guys, the winner by submission. I hope Dan Black is watching. CABOOSE I assure you, he is. COLE And look at Hoff, he's not letting go of the hold! Hoff, indeed, seems to be relishing the pain, laughing as Spanish Fly tries to struggle free. Fly screams in pain with every twist of the ankle. The referee calls for the bell again-- *DING DING DING DING DING!!* --and tries to pull Hoff's arms from Fly's ankle! The official grabs a bicep, but it is to no avail as Hoff keeps the hold locked in. Finally, a number of security personnel jog to the ring.... "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Hey, wait a minute! It's Drek Stone!! Drek speeds past the security force, crawling into the ring. As the guards look on, confused, Drek grabs the official from Hoff's arm and PLANTS HIM WITH A STONECUTTER!! COLE Aw, come on! This is ridiculous! The bell sounds again as Drek laughs, nodding to Hoff. The big man smiles before yanking again on the ankle of Fly, causing the former Lightning Crew member to cry out in pain! COLE Come on, Hoff! You won the damn match, you made your point...there's no reason to do this! COACH Oh, there's a reason. Dan Black is watching, and now he knows for a certainty that Hoff can, and will, break his ankle. Hoff turns to face the ramp, as if waiting on Black. But instead of Black, we get TONY BRANNIGAN charging (well, power-limping) down the aisle! COLE Finally, help is here! Tony gets to the ring...but Drek Stone steps between the ropes and Hoff! With a slow shake of his head, Drek mouths the words "no way" to T-Bod. Brannigan turns back to security, pleading with them to do something...but they back away! COLE Oh come on, what cowards! COACH Hey, they saw what happened to the ref. CABOOSE This is despicable. Hoff laughs as Drek stands guard, solemn-faced and proud. Tony paces at the bottom of the ramp, looking frustrated...until a MASSIVE cheer comes up from the crowd! Tony looks back to see DAN BLACK running down the aisle! COLE Here comes backup! Drek Stone's eyes go wide as Black blows past security, and both members of Black T slide into the ring! Hoff drops the anklelock as Tony tackles Drek....and Black SPEARS the big man out of his boots!! The crowd goes WILD!!!!! COLE Black T has come to the aid of Spanish Fly! CABOOSE I think they're really out here for a piece of their rivals! Drek and Tony roll out of the ring as Black pummels Hoff! On the outside, Drek and Tony trade blows, slugging it out right near the broadcast table. Tony gets the advantage, rocking Drek back and forth with a hard series of lefts and rights, until Drek suddenly gives him a nasty poke in the eye. COACH Nice! Cheap and effective! Tony spins away from Drek to attempt to regain his vision, allowing Drek to fold up a nearby steel chair. As Tony turns back around to face his enemy, Drek swings the chair hard – and SMACKS it right against Tony’s left ankle, sending Brannigan down to one knee. *CRACK!* COLE OH MY! Did you hear that chairshot?! COACH Drek got him again! I love it! Tony immediately falls and clutches his ankle as Drek grins, satisfied with himself. Hoff, meanwhile, fights away from under Black and scrambles to his feet! He turns to find Black waiting! Dan Black takes a swing....and Hoff drops to the mat and rolls out of the ring!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Hoff taking the cowards' way out! The fans jeer as Drek Stone, seeing Dan alone in the ring, breaks away of Tony, meeting Hoff at the bottom of the ramp. Brannigan slides into the ring in clear pain, meeting up with his longtime partner as he stares down his rival. CABOOSE And look into the eyes of Dan Black, fellas. The man is ready for this match. Hoff and Drek smile as Quiet hits, to the delight of the crowd. Tony joins Black in his icy stare, struggling to get to his feet and needing his partner’s help, as Drek and Hoff back up the ramp. Hoff, breathing heavily, points at Dan Black, mouthing the words "you're mine." Black doesn't move an inch. COLE Will this be the scene at Living Angleously? Will Tony Brannigan and Dan Black be standing tall in the ring? Or do Hoff and Drek Stone have their number? We'll find out in three days' time! Don't miss it! Fade to black Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted April 28, 2006 Produced by: KingPK Written by: Adam (he's just a guy now) Tony149 Hoff NYUntouchable King Cucaracha KingPK Zack Malibu Patty O'Green © 2006 OAOAST Entertainment. All rights reserved. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
