OAOAST HeldDOWN~! 5/4/06

[KingPK 0]

Also presented in OAOAST HTML

 

It's a normal Thursday night...as normal as they get here in the OAOAST! In the back of the arena, everyone's gathered around, doing what they have to do as we prepare to take to the air...when suddenly one of the camera men catches a door swinging open, marking the arrival of Zack Malibu to the arena! Malibu, with the straps of his bag draped over his shoulder, walks into the halls of the arena, and upon doing so everyone appears to freeze in place, stopping whatever they were doing to look at the HI-YAH Heavyweight Champion. Malibu walks, peering over the rim of his sunglasses, knowing that these stares aren't the normal OMG IT'S ZACK type of reactions, but rather some of concern, of shock, and of disappointment. Malibu continues to walk slowly, looking around at everyone and waiting for someone's voice to crack, for somebody to say a word. Nobody does, and Malibu looks back one last time as he reaches his destination; his dressing room door. All eyes are fixed on him, but the silence is mutual, as Zack grabs his back off the ground and carries it into the room, slamming the door behind him, just as we're ready to go with this week's broadcast.

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PYRO!!

PYRO!!

PYRO!!

PYRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRO!!

 

"YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"

 

The OAOAST has once again Lived Angleously and were able to survive to tell the tale. Tonight, the OAOAST heads one state over to Columbus, Ohio for the post-PPV edition of HeldDOWN, a show that should be chock full of Living Angleously fallout. Sweet, sweet fallout, big bold and brassy. We head over to Sofa Central where the Terrific Tremendous.....Those Three Guys Whose Names Start With C are ready to call the action.

 

COLE

Welcome to HeldDOWN!!! Michael Cole with you tonight along with, as always, Jonathan Coachman and Caboose.

 

CABOOSE

Looks like this is the only announcing gig you got now, eh Johnny boy?

 

COACH

Don't start with me tonight, Blood Pudding.

 

CABOOSE

They can you but keep Lawler? That can't be good for the ego.

 

COLE

Living Angleously this past Sunday Tuesday night was another great OAOAST Pay Per View. If you haven't seen it, we urge you to order the replay this week....even though we're going to pretty much tell you what happened tonight anyway....OW!

 

CABOOSE (through clenched teeth)

Ix-nay with the poiler-say alert-ay for the ubes-ray.

 

COLE

What?

 

CABOOSE

Just tell them what's coming up tonight.

 

COLE

Indeed! We've got a big show for you tonight. We'll hear from....well, we'll hear from pretty much everyone that participated at Living Angleously, including the NEW 24/7 champion Leon Rodez and Hoff who.....

 

CABOOSE

......tapped like a little bitch to Dan Black.

 

COLE

If you want to put it that way. Also, Zack Malibu shocked the wrestling world at Living Angleously by revealing that his mystery parters were not one, not two, but THREE members of the Smarks Wrestling Federation. We'll also hear from them later on.

 

COACH

THEYRE GONNA LEAD TEH INVAISION~!!!~!~!

 

CABOOSE

Now I know why they kicked you off RAW.

 

COLE

But perhaps the biggest news tonight is the meeting between HeldDOWN General Manager Axel and the OAOAST Board of Directors, who are waiting in a conference room here in Columbus as we speak. However, before the meeting, Axel requested some promo time.....

 

(I'm On A High begins)

 

COLE

....and it looks like he's about to join us.

 

The GM appears at the entrance way, not with a inviting smile, not with a look of sadness, and not even with a look of horniness. Instead, Axel is very serious tonight. He acknowledges the fans on the way down to the ramp, something he very rarely does. The Columbus crowd is about 80-20 for the General Manager, and while the boos win out; you can still hear faint cheers from those that have followed Axel all his career.

 

BUFFER

Ladies and Gentlemen please welcome a former two-time OAOAST Champion, and current General Manager of HeldDown…. AAAAAAAAAAXXXEEEEEELLLLL!!!

 

Axel walks up the ring steps and enters the squared circle. A mic already in his hand, the monkeys in the truck (© Chris Jericho) cut his music, and he begins to address the crowd.

 

AXEL

Now, most of you are probably wondering why I’m out here right now instead of at the very, very special OAOAST Board Meeting tonight. Well, I’m about to leave this arena to attend that meeting. But first, I wanted to address two things regarding what turned out to be last Tuesday night, at OAOAST Living Angleously. Last TUESDAY night. Two days after the advertised date. Now, I, along with the Board of Directors, put together one hell of an April Pay Per View for you fans. I’m not in charge of Pay Per Views, but I sure as hell had input in this one. I booked matches, I promoted the event, and it was on my ass that it went off without a hitch. Now, some members of the roster decided to hold off on giving you fans what you paid to see. Some guys in the back decided to show up late for Living Angleously.

 

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

 

AXEL

As a result of that, the Pay Per View had to be cancelled, and held Two. Bloody. Days after the advertised date, screwing not only the fans in Indianapolis, but screwing this company as well. As a result of that, the members of the locker room who decided to show up late, will be punished. They will be punished severely. Not one. Not two. Not five. Not ten. Fifteen Thousand Dollars each. For a couple of those guys, that’s more than they made actually showing up. For the others, that’s not much of a hit, but its enough that they know who they’re screwing with. So congratulations boys, that money will be coming out of your pay packet immediately. Well done.

 

COLE

Strong words from the GM, and even stronger punishments!

 

COACH

We can’t reveal who the offending roster members were, but I can assure you, they’re in the back right now, and they’re absolutely fuming!

 

AXEL

Now, on to the second matter. You see, a little over two weeks ago, I conducted an interview with Josh Matthews, where I announced two matches for Living Angleously. A HI-YAH Tag Team Championship that went ahead without a hitch. And another match, a singles match that I spent WEEKS preparing. I spent WEEKS negotiating with HI-YAH to have this singles match, and I promoted it as a ‘Dream Match’. You know the one I’m talking about. The former Twenty-Four Seven Champion, Tha Puerto Rican, versus the greatest X-Division Champion of all time, and a good friend of mine, AJ Flaire.

 

Mild cheers for the mention of Flaire’s name, as Axel continues.

 

AXEL

Now, AJ showed up earlier than most. He showed up in the early afternoon Sunday. He was ready, he was eager, and he was damn excited about wrestling on Pay Per View again, especially in such a high profile match, and one that I knew would be a classic. AJ was ready. I then get a call. Not from PR himself, oh no. I get a call from a member of PR’s management firm. The guys that handle his bookings, his money, that sort of crap. Now, PR has a history of being late to, well, pretty much everything. But this was different. The manager then informed me that not only was PR not going to be at Living Angleously to give EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU what you paid to see, but he was taking up an offer to perform elsewhere. Well Rocky Lite, you have NO. IDEA. Who you just screwed over. Not only did you screw over AJ Flaire. Not only did you screw over HI-YAH for providing AJ Flaire. Not only did you screw EVERY SINGLE OAOAST FAN!!!

 

COACH

Joey Styles eat your heart out guys!

 

CABOOSE

Give up. Now.

 

Axel pauses, as the fans start to actually cheer his revelations.

 

AXEL

…you screwed me. Big Red X. You want to ruin a match I booked? You want to ruin a month’s work? You don’t even have the common *bleep*ing courtesy to inform me yourself? Let me tell you, four weeks ago, I called PR. I said ‘PR, what do you think. Tha Puerto Rican versus AJ Flaire at the Pay Per View. Are you in?’ And he said ‘boss, I’m honoured. I can’t wait. The contract is signed; it’s faxed to you now. I’m ready boss, give me the ball. Give me the opportunity to step up.’ And I said ‘Well PR, here it is. Like me, like many before me, you get the chance to step up a notch with a win at Living Angleously. Don’t disappoint me.’ And that was that. I announced the match, it was all set. You want to go back on your word to me? You don’t even want to show up when the Pay Per View is cancelled and done two days later? Well, you made a mistake. You disappointed me. You screwed me. So, I’m doing this for your own good as much as anyone’s, because I know if I see your sorry 50 finisher ass in the hall in the next few weeks, I swear to god it’ll be on. PR, since you didn’t want to show up for these fans last week, then you won’t be showing up while the calendar says ‘May’. You are hereby suspended for a month, without pay. And when you come back, if you don’t improve, if you don’t show everyone here the respect they deserve by showing up to your matches, showing up to your interviews, and showing up to your appearances, a suspension will be the least of your worries.

 

COLE

…WOW.

 

AXEL

And with that out of the way, I have a meeting to attend. Let those two matters be an example to anyone else who decides to screw with who’s in charge; you will pay.

 

“I’m on a High” hits, and Axel exits the ring, adjusting his suit, and walking back up the ramp. Exiting the arena quickly, the crowd try to take in what they just heard.

 

COLE

Well that was certainly unexpected, but you have to give the GM credit for being honest with the fans on those matters and getting them out in the open! He’s not taking any shtick from the boys in the back!

 

CABOOSE

Hey, some guys did the wrong thing, and they got punished. It’d be the same in any other working environment. Axel did the right thing here, and it was clear that he took those matters personally because of his involvement.

 

COACH

But come on guys, no PR for a month? That’s a travesty! That’s awful! Unheard of! Shocking!

 

JR

GOOD GOLD ALMIGHTY AXEL IS A CRAZY SON OF A BITCH!

 

COLE

…well that was random. We’ll be back!

 

Next week

 

OAOAST Syndicated

 

Check your local listings for time and channel.

 

Commercial break

[KingPK 0]

COLE

Welcome back. As you saw before we went to break, next Saturday, May 13th, the OAOAST launches a new syndicated show that will allow you to see more of your favorite OAOAST stars along with some up and coming talent. This won't be some half-assed recap show, I assure you. So please check your local listings to find out where you can view OAOAST Syndicated in your area.

 

CABOOSE

Surely they can come up with a better name than that.

 

COLE

Hey, I just read what they give me......and don't call me Shirley.

 

We cut now backstage, to a noticeably dejected Christian Wright who clearly doesn't want to be here tonight. Reading glasses lowered, Wright sits on a bench and flicks emotionlessly through a copy of the Wallstreet Journal, not noticing the door opening beside him. Well, maybe he notices...but he doesn't look up, even as the shadow of The Meterosexual Monster Bohemoth darkens his vision.

 

BOHEMOTH

Sup?

 

Wright gives his bodyguard no responce, turning a page in the Journal.

 

BOHEMOTH

Look, I know you're mad, but hear me out.

 

Disgruntled is a good word to describe CW, mainly because it's fancy. Removing his reading glasses, Christian folds up the broadsheet paper and stands up.

 

WRIGHT

And why, pray tell, should I so much as afford you the time of day, Bohemoth? After your continued incompetence, your mere presence has become more trouble than it's relative worth. Your apologies shall fall on deaf ears, so save your breath and be gone.

 

BOHEMOTH

Chris'...

 

WRIGHT

SILENCE! I don't wish to hear it! If not for your abandonment of your supposed 'partner', we would this very moment be in possession of the HI-YAH World Tag Team Champions. And lo, instead, they are now within the tenure of two insignificant, wet behind the ears, pop music wannabees! Due to your negligance, Bo, I was defeated by a teeny bopper! And here, you attempt to placate me with mere apologies? HA! I'm afraid you shall require more than merely that to redeem yourself to myself. Now, be gone.

 

Wright angrily sits down, grabbing his paper...

 

BOHEMOTH

So, I got us an OAOAST Tag Title shot on May 13th.

 

 

...and immediately, the paper reclaims it's place on the floor.

 

WRIGHT

Bo, are you ingenuous?

 

BOHEMOTH

I dunno, what the hell does it mean?

 

WRIGHT

Ingenuous! Honest. Genuine. Sincere. Reliable. Reputable. Consciencious. Ingenuous!

 

BOHEMOTH

Oh. Yeah yeah, honest.

 

A sly gleam creeps over Christian's face as he stands up, discarding his glasses completely.

 

WRIGHT

Excellent Bo, excellent! The Heavenly Rockers shall be in no condition to resist us after their confrontation with The Sooner Bruisers and come May 13th, no doubt we shall finally ascend to the summit of the OAOAST's tag team division!

 

BOHEMOTH

So what, I'm forgiven?

 

WRIGHT

We shall attribute our recent performances to mere blips. Consider this a clean slate.

 

BOHEMOTH

I'll take that as a yes.

 

 

*SWF STAR-WIPE~!*

 

COACH

Wow, I can't WAIT for May 13th!

 

CABOOSE

How the hell did they get a World Tag Team Title shot!?! They're the least deserving team on the roster, they haven't won all year...that's ridiculous! What is Axel smoking? Or maybe that should be who...

 

COLE

Easy now. Switching gears, this past Sunday the second annual Run For the Gold match took place at Krista's palatial Beverly Hills mansion.....

 

COACH

It ain't palatial anymore.

 

COLE

.....and it was for the OAOAST 24/7 Championship. Let's take a look at some highlights.

 

*LOGO WIPE~!*

 

TERRY TAYLOR

Well! Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to land of the rich and famous, Beverly Hills, California! We are at the glamorous estate of Hollywood superstar, Krista Isadora Duncan, for the second annual Run for the Gold!

 

Each competitor is quickly shown standing at the starting line and a shot of the 24/7 Title belt sitting at the finish line is spliced in.

 

MAYA

.....on your mark....get set.....GO!

 

BANG!!!!

 

The six competitors make a mad dash towards the house. A montage of bumps, weapon shots and general mayhem and destruction is shown (read the match for the full lowdown, cheapo). All right, I'll show you the finish:

 

Alix now seems to have a clear route to the belt and Krista is up on her feet beside the finish line, beckoning Alix to come towards her. However, Alix's vision isn't locked solely on the belt. Turning away, Alix sprints across the front lawn and leaps over her boyfriend's back, snaring Flex by the head and twisting him around with a hurricanrana!! Flex and Alix clatter onto the firm lawn with a thud and neither is getting up, leaving Leon standing. And it doesn't take a genius to figure out what he's going to do next.

 

Jogging clear, Rodez smiles from ear to ear, as he dives across the finish line, snapping it in two and securing himself the victory! Scrambling up to his feet, Rodez then collects the belt and avoids Krista's icy glare as he jogs off into the distance, already celebrating.

 

TAYLOR

Leon did it! Leon grabbed the belt! Somebody ring the bell!

 

Krista quickly grabs up the bell and places it on Taylor's head.

 

*DINGDINGDING!*

 

TAYLOR

OUCH!

 

MAYA

AndthewinnerisTheDouche! (a.k.a. Leon Rodez)

 

We fade out with the shot of Rodez entering a nearby cab and speeding off with 24/7 Title in tow.

 

*LOGO WIPE~!*

 

COLE

Alright, let's send it backstage and to Maria~! who is backstage with the new 24/7 Champion.

 

COACH

Oh, yes!

 

 

Smiling as sweetly as ever, Maria waves to the camera once she realises she's on air. Blowing a kiss to the fans in T.V land, the OAOAST's hottest and most infrequent backstage reporter (damn you all for not using her) turns to her guest, Leon Rodez, who proudly wears the 24/7 Championship over his shoulder once more. Only this time, it's not the spinner belt which presumably has gone back to it's legal owner Vitamin X, replaced instead with the 'classic' 24/7 strap.

 

MARIA

Leon, on Sunday night nothing happened because the show was late, but on Tuesday morning you won the OAOAST 24/7 Title for the second time. If you escape without losing tonight, you'll have held the belt longer than last time. How does that make you feel?

 

LEON

Pretty good, thank you for asking. I'm still a little sore in places and I haven't yet erased the vision of Jim Ross in swim shorts from my memory, but being the 24/7 Champion again nulls the pain sufficently for these pearly whites to be on display. And you know, it's been a bit of a rough week personally. Suffice to say that Run For The Gold 2 was a fitting send-off for myself and Alix Maria Spezia's relationship. After nearly five beautiful, fantastic, sweaty months, she's decided to move on and unfortunately I must do the same. I felt down about it for a few days. But luckily, I'm experienced in 'loving and leaving', if you will. Granted, the loving doesn't usually last five months, but I'm ready to move on and ready to embark on a slightly more successful 24/7 Title reign this time around. So, Alix, it was great while it lasted and I'll never forget those months we spent together and I'll see you when you get out on parole.

 

Maria looks shocked, but Leon laughs it off.

 

LEON

I kid, I kid. She's got a great lawyer. So, next question?

 

MARIA

Uhm... They told me to ask you about May 13th. What's that about?

 

LEON

May 13th. May 13th, it's happening again, May 13th Maria, May 13th, you know what happened, May 13th, May 13th you remember, May 13th, you know what you did, May 13th, it's happening again, ooooohh May 13th boogie woogie loogie...

 

Leon shakes himself back into the real world.

 

LEON

Maria, as you so insightfully mentioned May 13th is gonna be the date for the grand debut of OAOAST Syndicated, a very special Saturday night show that's on Syndicated T.V...I guess. I dunno, I figure they must have had some reason for the name. Anyway, May 13th is OAOAST Syndicated. And I've just had some great news from OAOAST Front Office, because they've very kindly begged ME to do something big on the show. Now, I've been busy with certain 'issues' these past few weeks so I've kinda neglected something very close to me, but Syndicated will indeed mark the return of the Angle Award winning Love Shack! Live and in the middle of that OAOAST ring, I get to interview my little sister's team D*LUX. They won the HI-YAH World Tag Titles apparantly. I'm so proud of her, making a success of her life, what with her inferior intelligence and everything, so she gets the first Love Shack back. A new set, a new location, a new clothes budget, maybe even a new fancy graphic, who knows? So, May 13th should be a whole lot of fun.

 

MARIA

Why, what's happening on May 13th?

 

 

.....

 

 

LEON

Has anyone ever told you you have beautiful eyes?

 

MARIA

*giggles*

 

LEON

There we go. Now, anything else you wanna ask me about, seeing as I'm here?

 

Placing a finger in her mouth and sticking out her tongue, Maria does into deep, deep thought. Leon passes the time by tapping his fingers on his thigh, humming along to some imaginary music, until a lightbulb suddenly illuminates over Maria's head.

 

MARIA

I know! Which do you like better, butter or I Can't Believe It's Not Butter?

 

LEON

...

 

MARIA

My mom says that real butter is better but I don't know why, because I can't tell the difference.

 

LEON

...you know, you remind me of someone.

 

Maria doesn't seem to 'get it', but smiles anyway.

 

LEON

So, I'm gonna go now. If anyone walks past with a referee and asks where I am, tell them I'm in the bathroom. Infact, better make it the women's bathroom, just incase I need a stop-off. You're a sweetie.

 

Winking and making a 'winking sound' for added impact, away turns Leon and going back to his whimsical humming. Once she's sure Leon's back is turned though, a sudden change overcomes Maria. Like something out of Jeckyl and Hyde, Maria turns EVIL~!, calling over handily placed referee Charles Robinson before rushing up behind Leon and BOOTING HIM IN THE JUNK!

 

"YYEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

COLE

What the hell!?! Maria!?!

 

CABOOSE

Holy crap, everyone wants that 24/7 Title!

 

 

Maria gleefuly jumps on top of Leon, Charles skidding over...

 

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

NO, Kickout!

 

Scrambling to his feet, one hand on his junk the other clutching his belt, Leon scuttles off down the corridor and into the distance as Maria sits up and pulls an adorable sulky pout at not winning the title.

 

COLE

Haha, oh my, can you believe that? Maria almost won the 24/7 Championship! Even announcers are getting in on the act now, Leon isn't safe anywhere!

 

CABOOSE

Hey, if Todd Pettingil can win the belt, why not one of us?

 

COACH

YEAH!

 

CABOOSE

Not you.

 

COACH

Awwww.

 

Commercial break

[KingPK 0]

COLE

Welcome back to HeldDOWN from Columbus everyone. As you might have heard by now, Alfdogg successfully defended his OAOAST World Heavyweight title this past Tuesday at Living Angleously by making Brock Ausstin submit to a sharpshooter, much to the chagrin of the third man in that match.

 

COACH

Damn right Peter Knight should be angry. To bust your ass to take a title that was wrongfully taken from you and not even figure into the decision? How is that fair?

 

CABOOSE

Well....he could have just NOT accepted the match and just push for a one-on-one match. Of course, putting Brock in might have showed everyone how much confidence Axel had in his "boy" to bring the title back to the Upstarts.

 

COACH

Better not let PK hear you talking like that with the mood he is in.

 

CABOOSE

Well, if he comes down to beat me up, I'll just start beating on you and he'll just sit there and watch.

 

COLE

Thankfully --for MY sake--, Peter Knight did not just hear that exchange, but he is with Josh Matthews in the back.

 

We cut to the backstage area where J-Math stands next to an angry (what else is new?) Peter Knight.

 

J-MATH

Well, we all saw or heard what happened at Living Angleously, so I'd just like to get your thoughts about the future of Peter Knight. Where do you go from here?

 

KNIGHT

Well first off, Brock, you owe me a hundred bucks. As far as my "future" goes and what is next for the man who SHOULD still have the World Championship over his shoulder....I've actually been thinking about that lately. See, I realize now that I should never have accepted that triple threat match. Not because I'm afraid of Mr. Owes-Me-A-Benjamin or Alfdogg, but because there was just too many variables out of my control in that match. Just like I had no control over Stephen Joseph screwing me out of the title in the first place at AngleMania, I had no control over Brock Ausstin wrapping one hand around his throat while his other hand tapped out. So, that got me to thinking; how I can be assured that I can get one more crack at the title one-on-one with Alfdogg where NOBODY can get involved and we can finally see who is the better man?

 

J-MATH

And what did you come up with?

 

KNIGHT

I'm getting to that.

 

J-MATH

Hey, I had to let the audience know I'm still here.

 

KNIGHT

Like they care. Anyway, the OAOAST has come up with some very unique kinds of matches in its history. Hell, just look at the Run For the Gold match we saw last Sunday. That's the kind of stuff that sets us apart from other federations and makes the OAOAST what it is. So I brainstormed during the week and an idea started to form in my head, something that I think would be right up Alfdogg's alley because he loves to fight and bleed and this match will have plenty of both. I tried to pitch it to Axel tonight, but he is too busy with this meeting of his, but he assured me that he will not name a #1 Contender for Alfdogg's title until he hears me out this weekend. If he likes my idea, and I'm certain he will, next week I'm gonna come to you Alf and tell you what I have in mind. I'll understand if you think my idea is too dangerous and refuse, but -- knowing you Alf -- I think you won't be able to do anything but accept.

 

J-MATH

Well, can you tell me your idea? I'll keep it a secret. Pinky swear.

 

Knight simply stares at Matthews.

 

KNIGHT

Get out of my way.

 

Knight brushes by Matthews and exits the frame.

 

(BACK TO SOFA CENTRAL)

 

COACH

Ooh, I love this idea and I haven't even heard about it yet!

 

COLE

I must admit, Peter Knight certainly got my interest with that cryptic message. Speaking of cryptic --man, I'm on FIRE with the segues tonight!--, at Living Angleously we finally found out the identities of Zack Malibu's masked partners....and boy were we in for a shock.

 

COACH

Partners? More like hired assassins!

 

COLE

At the beginning of the contest, Scotty Static took the microphone and demanded that Malibu, who brought out the three masked men who have come to his aid in recent weeks, unmask, or else no match would take place. Taking advantage of Malibu's character, he backed the HI-YAH Champion up against a wall, but the revelation has sent shockwaves through the wrestling world. The three men unmasked to reveal Todd Cortez, Bruce Blank, and Bloodshed, all of whom have competed previously, and in some cases currently, with the Smarks Wrestling Federation. It was a coup that Zack Malibu amazingly pulled off, uniting these men who are known to be some of the most brutal competitors in the sport today, but it was not without controversy.

 

CABOOSE

Controversial would be putting it lightly, Michael. First of all, I'm still not certain why Malibu, who has become the face of this company, and is the person I respect most here, went "behind enemy lines" so to speak and brought in athletes from the outside. Secondly, that match broke down into one of the most vicious displays of violence I've personally witnessed, as Bloodshed, fresh off having his own head busted open by several chairshots, entered the ring and brutalized Scotty Static until the canvas was stained red, and Static was motionless.

 

COACH

Brutalized? He was trying to kill him. KILL, Caboose. KILL.

 

COLE

Calm down, Coach.

 

COACH

You want ME to calm down? Man, SCREW that, homey. Don't let your bias get in the way this time, Mikey C. Malibu's gone too far this time...

 

CABOOSE

...while I'm not condoning anything at this point, Coach, it's your boys who have pushed things this far.

 

COLE

It's an incident that has brought more questions than answers, not only amongst the rival factions, but across the OAOAST as a whole. So right now, I understand that Zack Malibu has acquired some interview time, and hopefully we'll have some light shed on the situation.

 

"Getting Away With Murder" hits, and soon after it emerges over the soundsystem, Zack Malibu steps out onto the entrance ramp, and begins making his way to the ring...followed by three familiar faces.

 

COACH

Why are they here again? This isn't where they belong!

 

COLE

Hey, if you want answers, then maybe you should wait and see what gets said here tonight.

 

Bruce Blank, Todd Cortez, and Bloodshed...all clad in normal, everyday attire, follow Zack down the aisle and into the ring. While Zack is greeted with his normal, crowd-enthused reaction, and plays to it, the three newcomers simply stand and stare, looking out to the fans, or watching as Zack plays to his supporters, before the entrance fades and the arena returns to form.

 

COACH

This guys shouldn't have the privelege of being on our show! ESPECIALLY after what they did!

 

CABOOSE

You know how you get on Cole and I for "biased journalism"?

 

COACH

Yeah.

 

CABOOSE

Look in the mirror.

 

The crowd is buzzing, but mellow out soon enough, as Malibu gets a microphone from ringside. He circles the ring, while his newfound allies stand tall at center ring, and once things get quiet enough, the HI-YAH Heavyweight Champion begins to speak.

 

MALIBU

I know that right now, there are a lot of question to be answered. Right now, a lot of different people are thinking a lot of different things. Now I've secured this time not only for myself, but for these men as well, and I'm going to let you hear from their lips, how this all came to be.

 

Malibu graciously turns and hands the mic over to Todd Cortez. The man known the world over as the "Urban Legend" was not one of the active participants the other night. Having been a favorite of many wrestling fans, a noticeable "Cortez" chant starts up, but quickly fades, as he starts to speak.

 

CORTEZ

I bet you never thought you'd see the day that the four of us were standing together in a wrestling ring somewhere, now did you?

 

The crowd roars, as the collection of stars in the ring is quite the force.

 

CORTEZ

Let's start with a little backstory. A couple of months ago, I decided to leave the SWF and ply my trade elsewhere. I had been in the same place for so long, seemingly fighting for everyone's cause but my own. I opted out of renewing with the SWF earlier this year, and toiled for a while, doing a lot of overseas work. It was during a booking thru HI-YAH that I first came into contact with Zack Malibu, who had just won the HI-YAH Championship from Christian Wright. Zack and I talked on that tour, and he approached me with the opportunity to join the OAOAST. At the time I declined, feeling that I didn't want to get caught up in the same things that made me grow jaded with the SWF. I continued to do some tours in Japan, Mexico, Puerto Rico, and most of all, get some downtime at home to spend it with my family. I went thru some *ahem* girl drama again, and if you know me you know exactly what I'm talking about. Now, about a month back, just after the Anglemania event, Zack came into contact with me again. He told me about the Global Party Exchange and Jamie O'Hara, and how they were doing their best to hurt this company, a company that this man right here loves. He told me that he wanted to do something, something that would grab their attention, and make them realize that the games were going to stop. That this was very serious. So I sat back and I thought about it, and thought to myself that these three guys are here talking about "street cred", and who knows more about the streets than Todd Cortez? I told Zack I'd be in, and when he asked who else we could call...well that's when I thought of these guys.

 

Blank snickers, as he's chomping on a toothpick. Bloodshed, his head having titled down as if he wasn't paying attention, perks up upon Todd mentioning them in passing.

 

CORTEZ

Bloodshed...he and I ran together not long ago, and Blank...Blank's one of the toughest men in the world. Not the type of guys that the GPX and O'Hara were used to messing with. It was just a matter of finding a way to get them involved, and...

 

Suddenly, Blank snatches the mic away from Cortez.

 

BLANK

...I'll take it from here, Toddy. Ya see, when Cortez got ahold of me, I thought he was yankin' my chain. When Zack got ahold of me, I still thought it was a joke. I mean, I'm fresh out the trailer park and ain't exactly the type you see pallin' around with Zack Malibu, but he told me that that's exactly what he wanted. But I couldn't just up and leave the SWF, and neither could Bloodshed here, until we found out a lil' somethin'...apparently, our actions have spoken loudly to the corporate officials heading the Smarks Wrestling Federation, and it's not somethin' they wanted to hear. 'Course these are the same people who enjoyed puttin' on family friendly wrasslin' shows. Anyways, I told Zack about our predicament, and he came down and the three of us sat and talked with some of the suits in charge. Seein' as how they were so unhappy with us, they thought they could just pawn us off on someone, and that's when Zack stepped in. He agreed that he would pay off half our standing contracts with the SWF to get us here, but that we'd have to work off all future contactually agreed dates with the SWF. All's well that ends well, and a day later, Zack had OAOAST contracts in front of us, and that's how you're lookin' at us here, as well as on a certain other network.

 

CABOOSE

Well I'll be...we weren't kidding when we said it was a coup for Zack to get these guys here! He paid out of his own pocket to do so!

 

BLANK

Now the thing that irks me right now, and no offense, Zack, but the other night, you seemed a little...disturbed by what was goin' on. We've been gettin' funny looks all night in the back, ain't not one superstar other than you talked to us, so if you got somethin' to say then by all means, let it on out.

 

Blank hands the microphone back to Zack, who grabs it, and looks up at the large backwoods bully. He takes the mic and paces by the ropes, as the three men he's responsible for bringing into the OAOAST look on.

 

MALIBU

You know something, Bruce. It did disturb me. And apparently, it disturbed a lot of people, because I've had everyone breathing down my neck since Sunday night. I've had people questioning why you're here. I had James Blonde and Faqu, two guys I respect the hell out of, calling me out for not choosing them. I've gotten stares from all of the "Originals" wondering why I didn't use them to settle the score that's lasted a year now. My own ex-partner hasn't even done anything but give me a glare...but that shouldn't matter to you, because right now, it doesn't matter to me. Now hear me out, because this is not meant as an attack on anyone's character, but this is something I needed to do. Week after week, the beatdowns, the insults, the attacks on everything I've worked for made me realize that maybe along the line of defending everyone's honor, of sticking up for this company, that I lost what made me a star in the first place. The scheming, the not caring of the consequences, the unpredictable nature of it all...I thought outside the box! I brought you all vintage Zack Malibu, and I did it for the GOOD of this company. Because these men didn't get their start here, because they made their names elsewhere, you shun them? Or was it something else...a certain incident that set you all off?

 

At this point, Zack gets up close to Bloodshed, who now looks up, appearing agitated that Malibu seems to be placing blame on his shoulders.

 

MALIBU

I did what I had to do by bringing you here, but I have to ask...was it worth it? Was it me who crossed the line, or was it someone else?

 

Bloodshed leans his head down, and talks into the microphone.

 

BLOODSHED

Are you speaking to me.

 

MALIBU

I don't need to speak to you, but if you have something to say, here.

 

Malibu shoves the mic into Bloodshed's chest, which causes him to look down, then back up at Zack.

 

BLOODSHED

Weeks ago, Zack, you were the one who came to us. You know, you have always known, what we are capable of...what I am capable of. The name Bloodshed, it's not simply something marketable, something catchy. Bloodshed is a way of life, a part of me that is alive and well. Crossing the line? This is professional wrestling, Zack. This is a live and die sport, a game of survival that only the strongest fighters can win. You coming to me gave me the chance to write a new chapter, a fresh start. The chance to go back to my roots, when blood loss and permanent scarring and injury was not an option, but simply a cold, hard fact. I may have beaten the World Champion not once, not twice, but three times, and yet still, I haven't felt as victorious as I did the other night, with Scotty Static's blood staining my ringwear, my hands...it felt GOOD. Somewhere along the way though, you got...scared? Weak in the knees maybe? Don't fear, Zack, you're not responsible for my actions...I stand by them proudly. You are not to blame.

 

MALIBU

Maybe to YOU I'm not to blame, but the fact is I brought you in here to get even, but you exceeded that expectation in the wrong way. You...

 

Blank, seeing where this is going, grabs the microphone.

 

BLANK

Whoa whoa whoa now hold on just a second there, Zack. Now Bloodshed makes a good point...you didn't go blindly into this thing. You knew what you were gettin' when you signed up this package deal. We made ourselves a living in some of the most violent matches imaginable, and you cringe at the sight of a lil' blood? Now we owed you a debt for getting us into the company as far as I'm concerned, we paid it off in full. If anything, it scared those boys senseless, and they'd be stupid to mess with you, or any of us, ever again.

 

Blank barely gets a trademark chuckle out before "I'm A Hustla" sounds over the speakers, and Jamie O'Hara starts down the aisle! Right behind him though is Johnny Jax, who rushes down the aisle and cuts him off, backing up the eager young Upstart, who starts issuing threats to the men in the ring.

 

BLANK

I stand corrected! What have we here now, you finally gettin' some hair on that chicken chest o' yours or what, son? You want yourself some of this?

 

Jax, trying to keep his partner from doing anything stupid, motion for a mic, and manages to calm Jamie down enough that he doesn't charge the ring.

 

JAX

Let's get one thing straight...I don't care who you guys wanna pin in it, but the fact remains that you took my partner out Sunday night, sending him to the hospital for a blood transfusion because he left half of the blood in his body on the mat. I don't care how you got here, I don't care what your reps are, but if you think you've seen the last of us, you're sadly mistaken!

 

Jax pauses, and in that one moment, O'Hara grabs the mic.

 

O'HARA

Yo, what's up with this? You think you're just gonna walk after what you did to my boy? That ain't how we play in the streets dawg! I'll cut all you mothaf...

 

CORTEZ

Wait a minute...did I hear you say "streets"? Let me tell you something, you poser...

 

The crowd ROARS, but Jamie is unimpressed.

 

CORTEZ

...you don't get any more "street" than Todd Cortez, and if it's one thing I hate, it's punks like you acting like what they're not. A man of the streets doesn't talk, he just does...kinda like how I just hit the ring and left you bouncing off the top of your head a few weeks back!

 

O'Hara looks like he's ready to charge the ring again, but Jax tells him to think better of it, saying "there's four of them!"

 

O'HARA

You think I can't hang? Bitch I'll slap the taste outta your mouth and then put you on the corner so you can use it for what it's good for!

 

"Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh!"

 

CORTEZ

So you wanna go? You wanna do this?

 

O'HARA

Yeah G, let's do this...let's do this...

 

O'Hara starts to walk towards the ring.

 

O'HARA

Let's do this NEXT WEEK!

 

The crowd starts booing loudly, while Blank waves O'Hara on for Cortez to get a piece of.

 

CORTEZ

Next week? OK, that's cool...you probably need time to prepare...but if you wanna talk street, you wanna act street, then there's only one way this should be settled. STREETFIGHT.

 

COLE

Whoa!

 

COACH

Aw J, c'mon dawg, they'll kill you!

 

O'Hara starts shouting that Cortez is "on", and again looks ready to bolt for the squared circle, but he's forced back up the aisleway by Jax. Not one for threats, Blank steps over the top rope and hops off the apron to the floor, and starts to head up the aisle. Cortez is soon to follow, and Bloodshed is the last to exit the ring, looking back at Zack as he steps through the ropes, then pausing on the apron, staring at the man responsible for bringing him to the OAOAST, before hopping to the floor.

 

COLE

This looks like an extremely volatile situation...Zack Malibu tried to end his war with the GPX and Jamie O'Hara, but in the process has put himself at odds with friend and foe alike, including some of the men he brought in to back him up!

 

COACH

Karma's a bitch, ain't it?

 

CABOOSE

I've known Zack for a while, and if it's anything he's good at, it's coming out of these situations looking better than ever...however this time, putting himself ahead of the company after doing so for so long, it's going to raise a lot of questions, ESPECIALLY with the company he's keeping these days.

 

COLE

Only time will tell, but for the sake of Zack's reputation, and this company, let's hope it tells us what we want to hear.

 

Commercial break

[KingPK 0]

The cameras cut to a shot of the backstage area, where we see Hoff walking into frame. The big man looks upset, although it's difficult to read with the nose guard on his face. The fans jeer as Hoff adjusts the bag on his shoulder.

 

COLE

Fans, if you missed Living Angleously on Sunday, you missed one of the most intense matches we have seen in a long, long time. Dan Black versus Hoff!

 

COACH

Oh it was intense, it was passionate, and it was amazing to see, but the fact is, Dan Black got lucky.

 

COLE

Lucky?!

 

COACH

You heard me, Mikey. Hoff was the dominant one in that matchup.

 

COLE

Well that's not the way I remember it. Let's take a look at the video:

 

**********************************************************

 

LIVING ANGLELOUSLY

 

Hoff grabs him from behind, hooking his neck! The crowd goes INSANE as Hoff slashes his throat!!

 

COACH

YES!!

 

COLE

Hoff looking for the Future Shock!!

 

Hoff lifts Black up, but Black floats over and lands behind Hoff!! Hoff turns around, bewildered, and Dan grabs his arm! Hoff tries to pull away, but Black stays on him!! Hoff hits one knee, and Black tries to hook Hoff's arm in between his legs!!

 

COLE

Can Black lock it in?

 

Black tries, but Hoff fights it!! Hoff pulls his arm away, spins, and throws a BIG right hand to Black's skull! Another, and Black is reeling!! Hoff hits the ropes and chrages with a clothesline-- CAUGHT by Black, who wrenches Hoff to the mat and HOOKS THE HEART OF ICE!!!!

 

YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!

 

COLE

HEART OF ICE, LOCKED IN!!!

 

COACH

FIGHT IT!!

 

CABOOSE

COME ON DAN!!!

 

COACH

FIGHT IT!!!!!!

 

Black SCREAMS as he pulls back on Hoff's neck!! Frantically the big man looks around before rolling through...Black KEEPS IT LOCKED!!! Hoff tries to reach the ropes...and BLACK ROLLS BACKWARDS!! The two men land in the center of the ring!! Black yanks back on Hoff's neck....and HOFF TAPS OUT!!!!!!!!!

 

*ding ding ding ding ding*

 

COACH

NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Black lets go of Hoff and rolls away, onto his knees. The Ice Heart looks up, smiling a genuine smile as sweat drips from his body.

 

BUFFER

The winner of the submission match....the Ice Heart...DAAAAAAAAAN BLLLLLLLL-AAAAAAAAAACK!!!!!!

 

Black gets to his feet as the official raises his hand. The fans are ecstatic, cheering their lungs out as Dan stands victorious.

 

**********************************************************

 

The cameras cut back to the live-action shot, where Hoff walks toward the locker rooms. However, Josh Matthews, having drawn the short straw, is coming toward him with a mic in hand.

 

JOSH

Hoff!

 

Hoff looks at Matthews, and then lowers his head, dejected.

 

COLE

We've certainly seen Hoff in better spirits.

 

Hoff sighs as Matthews comes near him, raising the microphone.

 

JOSH

Hoff, last Sunday you lost in your submission match to Dan Black. How are you feeling tonight?

 

Hoff looks at Josh, incredulously, before raising his eyebrows and flipping his voice into falsetto.

 

HOFF

Oh, i'm doing just FINE, Joshua! Yes, me and the little lady took a weekend in the country. Just the two of us, away from the kids..we really got to KNOW ourselves....I HAVE A BROKEN NOSE! How does it LOOK like I'm doing?

 

Matthews jumps back, startled by the response. An annoyed Hoff snatches the microphone from him.

 

HOFF

As far as Dan Black goes, he and I both know that I could have beaten him. Dan, you won because I made a mistake. And you can tell yourself all you want to that you were the better man, but at the end of the day you know that's just not true. But, whatever helps you sleep at night. The fact is, the next time we meet, things will be different. And mark my words, there WILL be a next time. And it's coming before you know it.

 

JOSH

What do you mean by...

 

HOFF

Shut up.

 

Hoff shoves Matthews back, then takes a step toward him.

 

HOFF

YOU KNOW HOW I REALLY FEEL, JOSH?!

 

Josh cowers, shielding his face with his hands.

 

HOFF

I feel like hurting someone.

 

Hoff looks down at Josh, who slowly looks up, realizing his life is not in imminent danger. Josh tenatively lowers his hands.

 

HOFF

Come on. Let's take a walk.

 

Hoff starts walking away. The camera pans to Matthews, who shrugs and starts following the big man. The camera follows along with him, staying on top of the action.

 

HOFF

Now, who's the lucky winner of tonight's drawing?

 

Hoff heads down a wide corridor, passing the catering truck. Who should be standing there, but OAOAST reporter and sex symbol Jackie Gayda. The fans hoot and holler as Jackie is bent over the table, picking out hors d'oeuvres.

 

HOFF

Hiya, sweet cheeks.

 

Hoff grabs a handful of Miss Gayda's backside, causing her to snap up and spin. She cocks her hand for some slappin', but upon seeing the grabber, holds her aggression.

 

JACKIE

Oh, Hoff! Um...hi?

 

HOFF

Yeah, hi.

 

Jackie looks down, embarassed.

 

HOFF

You never called me.

 

JACKIE

Hoff, I'm married--

 

HOFF

That didn't stop you from playing with my heart!

 

The big man begins SOBBING UNCONTROLLABLY, cradling his head in his hands. Jackie leans over, putting her hand on Hoff's shoulder.

 

JACKIE

Hoff, sweetie, I--

 

HOFF

DON'T TOUCH ME!!

 

Hoff snaps up, causing Jackie to stumble back.

 

HOFF

You played with me, you BROKE MY HEART!! You--

 

Jackie, now, begins crying.

 

JACKIE

Hoff, I'm so sorry, I can;t believe I did it...

 

As Jackie cries, Hoff looks up...and SMILES!! The arrogant smile of the big man draws a round of jeers from the crowd.

 

HOFF

You stupid girl.

 

Jackie looks up to see Hoff, horrified. Her mouth drops as she takes in his sinister smile.

 

HOFF

Listen, Jackie, you were good...but you weren't THAT good.

 

Jackie looks absolutely horrorstruck as Hoff laughs, walking away. Josh and the cameraman follow.

 

COLE

What a jackass!

 

COACH

I thought it was funny.

 

Hoff comes to a stop as the camera reveals someone standing at the door to Axel's office.

 

*BANG BANG*

 

The man, familiar to most OAOAST fans, pounds on the door.

 

MAN

Hey mate, lemme in all ready!

 

COLE

That's JARVO AUSSIE!!

 

CABOOSE

What the hell is he doing here?

 

COLE

Well we saw him last week in Sydney, but...

 

Jarvo Aussie pounds on the door as Hoff and J-Math look on in bewilderment.

 

JARVO

Axel, mate, I'm beggin' ya! Open the door, I need to talk with ya! I need a job, mate! I'll do ANYTHING!

 

Hoff looks back at the camera, raising his eyebrows.

 

COLE

Oh, dear.

 

COACH

I think Hoff just found his man!

 

Hoff steps up to Jarvo, who looks at him with suspicion.

 

JARVO

Hey, mate....what's happening?

 

HOFF

Jarvo.

 

JARVO

...yeah?

 

HOFF

What the hell are you doing?

 

JARVO

I need a job, mate! Hoff, 'ave ya seen Axel around!

 

HOFF

Yeah, no, he's in a meeting right now. Big, important stuff. He doesn't have time for this, I can tell you that much. But I tell you what...you want a job, right?

 

JARVO

Yeah!

 

HOFF

As a wrestler?

 

JARVO

It's all I'm good at, mate!

 

HOFF

Well, I don't know that you were ever "good" at it, but I tell you what. I'll give you a tryout, on behalf of Axel. He and I.........well, we go back.

 

JARVO

Aw, seriously?

 

HOFF

Yeah! In fact, I've got an opponent all lined up. Just be in the ring later tonight, and we'll get it done.

 

JARVO

Aw, thanks, mate! That's kanga-riffic!

 

Jarvo walks away, excitedly dreaming of a new OAOAST contract. As Hoff looks on with a wry smile, Matthews asks the obvious.

 

JOSH

Hoff...who is Jarvo's opponent tonight?

 

HOFF

Don't play coy, Josh.

 

As Hoff walks off, Josh looks at the camera with a sigh.

 

JOSH

Hoff versus...versus Jarvo Aussie. Tonight.

 

The cameras cut to Sofa Central, where Coach is laughing.

 

COACH

JARVO AUSSIE!! Oh, I can't wait for this.

 

COLE

This is despicable.

 

COACH

This is great!

 

CABOOSE

Coach, do you really think Jarvo is going to stand a chance against a man like Hoff?

 

COACH

NO!!!!!

 

COLE

That match will be up later tonight. But we've got a lot more on tap, so don't go away!

 

*************************************

 

The camera cuts to the locker room where Hoff is sitting on a wooden bench lacing his boots. Stern and angry, Hoff grunts loudly as he tightens his laces, almost seeming to take out his frustrations on his own feet. As he continues to tie, a pair of shiny black shoes suddenly step into the frame. Hoff immediately stops lacing and just stares at his feet, knowing what’s coming next.

 

DREK

You ought to be ashamed of yourself.

 

The Columbus crowd roars with jeers as the camera pans up to catch an annoyed Drek Stone glaring down at his partner.

 

DREK

Really. Do you have any kind of explanation? Any kind of excuse?

 

Hoff continues to look down at his boots. With irritation in his voice, he gruffly addresses Drek.

 

HOFF

What do you want me to say?

 

DREK

I want you to talk to me.

 

Hoff still will not turn his attention to his increasingly aggravated partner-in-crime. This only annoys Drek more as he realizes he will need to take a more drastic action. He sharply kicks Hoff’s foot to get the big man’s attention. Without trepidation, Hoff immediately stands up to stare nose-to-nose with the Italian Stallion.

 

HOFF

Watch it.

 

DREK

Explain yourself.

 

HOFF

Oh, what the hell do you want me to say? Dan Black beat me. He made me tap out. That’s it. I’ll live to fight another day.

 

With that, Hoff turns his concentration away from Drek once again, this time to begin slowly taping his wrists. Not pleased with that answer, Drek slaps the athletic tape out of Hoff’s grasp, slamming the roll down to the floor and spinning underneath a locker.

 

DREK

No! You’re not getting off that easy. This is the SECOND month in a row. You lost the match for us at AngleMania by tapping out to Dan Black. And you damaged our reputation by losing to Black again at Living Anglelously!

 

HOFF

Yeah, fine.

 

DREK

Yeah, fine. Hoff, are you KIDDING ME?! Is this all you have left?! You’ve been PATHETIC since we came back.

 

HOFF

Excuse me, Drek. We can’t all injure our opponents three days before we wrestle them in the ring. You should be kissing my feet right now and thanking your lucky stars that I helped you hurt Tony’s ankle three days before Living Anglelously. Instead of criticizing ME, maybe you should be asking yourself if you could have gotten that WIN without me.

 

Drek laughs lightly to himself.

 

DREK

It doesn’t matter. I got the job done. I got the job done with Tony’s ankle injured. I could have gotten the job done if Tony was 100 percent. Put it any way you want – I WON. HE LOST. And, unfortunately, we can’t say the same thing for you, now can we?

 

HOFF

I’ll get my revenge.

 

DREK

When, Hoff?! WHEN?! You’re 2-0 against him. He’s beaten you TWICE! He’s made you tap out TWICE. He’s humiliated you in that ring TWICE. If I was him, I would laugh at the thought of having to go against you in the ring again.

 

HOFF

Keep this up, and maybe you will.

 

The locker room instantly fills up with a heavy aura of silence as the two men stare at each other for a few moments. This conversation is clearly not going in the right direction if Hoff is beginning to issue threats. Wanting to slightly lower the hostility in the room, it’s Drek who then speaks first.

 

DREK

Fine, okay. What’s on your agenda tonight for your big revenge plan?

 

HOFF

I have a match.

 

DREK

Against who?

 

HOFF

Does it matter?

 

DREK

Oh Hoff. I already KNOW what your plan is. You’re going to go out there and squash another jobber. Big man on campus. You have no problem against the Spanish Flys of this organization. Hell, you’ll take them all on! But when you have an opponent that gives you a BIT of a challenge – an opponent that won’t fold at the slightest ounce of pressure – you fold. You tap.

 

HOFF

Shut your mouth and listen! I told you already. I will get my revenge. Maybe it will be tonight. Maybe it won’t. But I already told you – I will get it. In fact, we will BOTH get our revenge eventually.

 

DREK

Because you’ve followed through with your promises so far.

 

HOFF

Oh, believe me. This one will work. And if you don’t want to be a part of it, I suggest you get the hell off the Hoff Express now before we pull into the station. I don’t want to listen to your whining, don’t want to listen to your criticism, don’t want to listen to your threats ANYMORE. You decided to partner up with me for a reason. You knew, if anybody ever in this federation had the balls and the skill to get the job done, it was me. If you have lost that faith, then get the hell out of here and get the hell out of my life. If you HAVEN’T lost that trust, then shut up and let me do what I need to. Got it?

 

The crowd slightly cheers at that outburst as Drek nods his head slowly.

 

DREK

Okay. I still trust you. Do what you need to and I’ll be standing right behind you. But be forewarned.

 

HOFF

Forewarned.

 

DREK

Yes. Don’t let me down again. You’ve been disappointing so far since we came back. You’re supposedly the same guy that put me through several nasty wars for my Heavyweight Title at Zero Hour 2005 and AngleMania IV. You spinebustered me into the ocean. Hell, you beat me at my own dishonest game at the Great Angle Bash last year. In 2005, you were on your GAME! But from the looks of it, you’re not anymore. And if you’re falling apart on me…if you’re starting to lose your killer instinct…if you just don’t have it anymore…I will cut you down before you have a chance to hurt my reputation further.

 

HOFF

Oh really?

 

DREK

Believe it.

 

HOFF

Well, then. Maybe I’ll just have to cut you down first before you have the chance, huh?

 

The crowd yells out in elated shock as Hoff pushes Drek aside with his massive shoulder and walks down the hallway to prepare for his match. Meanwhile, all Drek can do is stare back, seeing this partnership beginning to crumble before his eyes.

 

CABOOSE

Uh oh, looks like we got us a little lover's quarrel here. I guess Drek is as sick of Hoff slapping the mat like he's slapping a naughty child's bottom.

 

COACH

....What?

 

CABOOSE

So my analogies aren't that good tonight.

 

COACH

That was a metaphor.

 

CABOOSE

......

 

 

 

 

You got fired from RAW, HA HA!!!

 

COLE

As we said earlier, tonight Axel is involved in a very special meeting of the OAOAST Board of Directors. Our man Josh Matthews is standing by at that very meeting to bring us the latest. Josh?

 

*We cut to J-Math standing in front of a guarded and locked door at what looks like a office building of some description*

 

J-MATH

Guys, I’m here about five minutes from HeldDown where the One and Only Anglesault Thread Board of Directors have been meeting all day to discuss the future of this very company. OAOAST President Bill Watts left the meeting around a half an hour ago, and the General Manager of HeldDown entered soon after. I’m told by a member of the board that conclusions will be reached by the end of the night on the future of OAOAST Management. Back to Triple C in the arena.

 

COLE

Thanks Josh, and guys, what could the board be discussing?

 

CABOOSE

Well Cole, we haven’t really had a meeting such as this in the history of the company, normally things are decided by stipulations in matches and such, but as you may have noticed, in the last few months a lot of things have been happening to make the board believe that perhaps something needs to change. Pay Per Views being held days late, civil wars, invasions, I’m wondering what the outcome of tonight is going to be.

 

As Caboose finishes, the ‘Generic OAOAST Music’ hits in the arena, causing everyone to be somewhat surprised. They are even more surprised to see who’s here though… it’s OAOAST President Bill Watts!

 

COLE

The President is here!

 

The crowd cheer the boss, as Watts makes his way to the ring, slapping a few hands, and entering the battle ground. He grabs a mic from ringside, and claps the fans for their appreciation for a second.

 

WATTS

You know, I came out here tonight to make a very special announcement. I know I’m not around here much, being back at the office and all, but this announcement had to be said in front of the fans. I’ve been the President of this Company for a long time now, and I’ve seen so many young stars come through this place. From its founders, like CobainWasMurdered.

 

“YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAH!”

 

WATTS

AngleSault.

 

“YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAHHHBOOO!”

 

WATTS

To guys Zack Malibu.

 

“YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAHHH!”

 

WATTS

Tony Brannigan and Dan Black, Black T.

 

“YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAHHH!”

 

WATTS

And yes, even Hoff and Drek Stone.

 

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!”

 

WATTS

I’ve seen some great stars.

 

Watts pauses, and looks around the crowd, almost with a sadness in his eyes.

 

COLE

What’s this about, guys?

 

CABOOSE

Old bastard didn’t mention me.

 

WATTS

..but, as with all things in life, sometimes things just have to end.

 

COLE

What? What does Watts mean by that?

 

WATTS

I’ve been thinking about this for a while, and after giving the board my thoughts tonight, we came to a conclusion. The conclusion that I will resign as President of the OAOAST.

 

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!”

 

TRIPLE C

 

WATTS

Now, before anyone screams conspiracy, it was my decision. I’ve been doing this for long enough. But, I will stay on as President until the Board appoint a new guy. And that’s up to the Board, and the Stockholders. I don’t know when a new President will be appointed, and I don’t know who it will be. But until that day comes, I’m honoured to continue as OAOAST President for you, the OAOAST fans.

 

“YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAH!”

 

WATTS

Thank you, goodnight, and perhaps, goodbye.

 

The Generic OAOAST music hits again, as the Columbus crowd stand shocked at the revelation. Triple C are shocked too, they haven’t said a thing since the announcement.

 

COLE

…I’m speechless guys. This shakes everything up. Bill Watts resigning? A new President being appointed? This is insane!

 

CABOOSE

The next few weeks, and months are going to be a wild ride, that’s for sure guys.

 

COACH

Hey, maybe I can be President!

 

CABOOSE

Don’t scare me like that.

 

COLE

We gotta go to a commercial break! What a revelation! HeldDown will be back!

 

UP NEXT: Hoff in action!

 

Commercial break

[KingPK 0]

COLE

We're just about set for our main event of the evening, but first we want to check in once again with Josh Matthews to see if he has more news after that SHOCKING announcement we heard before the break. Josh?

 

*We cut to Josh Matthews, who is still outside the Board meeting*

 

J-MATH

No sign of any movement yet guys, but what a revelation earlier tonight! Bill Watts, resigning? That’s a major shake-up to the OAOAST! I’ll be updating you on OAOAST-dot-come throughout the ev-

 

Just as J-Math is signing off, Axel bursts through the door in a state of ANGER~!

 

J-MATH

Axel! Axel! What was the result of the meeting? Can you give us any comment on the future of the OAOAST?

 

Axel looks at Josh, snatches his mic, and SHOVES him down like a rag doll!

 

AXEL

What was the result? WHAT WAS THE RESULT? Because of the idiocy, because of the unprofessionalism displayed by certain members of the OAOAST Roster at Living Angleously, and because of the Pay Per View being suspended for two days, guess what? I just got relieved of my position as General Manager of HeldDown. You know what that means? Not only am I pissed off, but I’m a member of the active roster again. And whoever it is that the board find to run this damn company, I’m going to make sure that they have a Presidency that’s never forgotten. I'm OUT of here.

 

Axel throws the mic at Josh’s fallen form and walks out of the shot. We go back to Sofa Central.

 

COACH

What the hell? What fault of Axel is it that guys didn't show up.

 

CABOOSE

He DOES...well, he DID....run things around here, so anything that happens falls in his lap. Man, we go through a lot of General Managers here, don't we?

 

COLE

We are going to need some time to wrap our heads around these big shakeups in the OAOAST hierarchy, but right now we gotta go to the ring. IT'S MAIN EVENT TIME!

 

Jarvo Aussie is standing in the ring.

 

COACH

Oh man...

 

COLE

Now this isn't right.

 

COACH

Oh, this is SO right.

 

CABOOSE

No one is trying to take anything away from Jarvo Aussie, but then again, there's not much to take away.

 

JARVO

Hoff!

 

Jarvo smiles, a big grin.

 

COLE

Jarvo Aussie simply isn't ready for what's about to happen.

 

JARVO

I'm ready for my tryout!

 

Jarvo looks down the aisle...and the lights go down.

 

COACH

Here we go!

 

*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM~!*

 

Hypnotize hits as Hoff steps onto the stage.

 

COLE

And Hoff is dressed for battle.

 

COACH

Oh man....this is TOO MUCH!

 

The fans boo as Hoff walks down the aisle. Jarvo looks on, slightly confused at the sight of Hoff in his ring gear. The big man throws his shirt off and slides into the ring. As his music dies, Jarvo stares at Hoff, wondering what's going on....

 

and gets FLOORED by a big right hand!!

 

*DING DING DING*

 

The referee rings the bell as Hoff drops to his knees and begins pummeling Jarvo with big right hands!

 

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

 

COLE

And look at Hoff. He must feel like a big man!

 

Hoff gets off of Jarvo and pulls him up. Hoff grabs the Aussie around the waist, and hits a BELLY-TO-BELLY SUPLEX.

 

COACH

Look at him go!

 

Jarvo stumbles to his feet, and Hoff grabs him, hitting another overhead belly-to-belly. Jarvo lies on the mat as Hoff scowls.

 

CABOOSE

Well Hoff is sure showing how great he is.

 

COACH

Hey, this is just a reminder of what he can do.

 

Hoff pulls Jarvo up, and whips him into the corner. Hoff backs up, charges, and hits the STINGER SPLASH. Jarvo sinks into the corner, and Hoff lifts him onto the top.

 

COLE

Well he's certainly not wasting any time!

 

Hoff climbs to the top and hooks Jarvo, throwing him off with a SUPERPLEX!! The fans are irate, jeering as Hoff climbs to his feet.

 

COACH

Hoff has got it rolling! (snicker)

 

Hoff pulls Jarvo up, shaking his head. He whips Jarvo into the ropes, and catches him coming off the far side with a SPINEBUSTER!!!!

 

COLE

Spinebuster by Hoff, and--and HERE WE GO!!

 

Hoff grabs Jarvo's ankle and turns him over, slapping on the ANKLELOCK! Jarvo wastes no time in tapping.

 

*DING DING DING*

 

COLE

Well there you go. Hoff has defeated Jarvo Aussie.

 

Hoff lets go of the ankle, and the referee raises his hand. The corwd jeers as Hoff exits the ring....or does he?

 

COLE

Aw come on, what is this?

 

CABOOSE

Hoff, give it a rest.

 

Hoff steps back INTO the ring, grabbing Jarvo's ankle and reapplying the anklelock!!

 

COLE

Now COME ON!!!

 

COACH

Ha ha! This is GREAT!!

 

Hoff keeps it locked in. The referee tries to pull him off...Hoff lets go and SPINEBUSTER to the referee!!

 

COLE

This is unnecessary!!

 

Hoff grabs Jarvo by the hair and yanks him up. He hooks him from behind, lifts him up, and drops him with the FUTURE SHOCK!!!!!

 

COLE

Good lord! Future Shock by Hoff!

 

Hoff rolls up to his feet, raising his fist into the air. The big man hops out of the ring, walking away with a sense of pride.

 

COACH

He did it, you guys!

 

COLE

Yes he did. Hoff destroyed Jarvo, and for what?

 

COACH

To prove a point.

 

CABOOSE

If he wanted to make a point, he should have won at Living Angleously.

 

COACH

.....!!!!!

 

COLE

Well, after that bit of ego-stroking by a former World Champion, we have to sign off. We will definitely have more on the two HUGE stories that broke earlier tonight for you next week, so tune in next Thursday, same OAOAST time, same OAOAST channel. Goodnight from Columbus.

 

Hoff turns and walks backwards up the ramp, a satisfied smile on his face to close out the show.......

 

 

...but instead of fading to black as we usually do, we head backstage once again to find a recovered Josh Matthews standing by.

 

JOSH

Fans, before we sign off tonight, I've just seen Zack Malibu step out of his dressing room and head this way. We're going to try and get a word with him as it pertains to the arrival of Bruce Blank, Todd Cortez, and Bloodshed, as well as how he feels about being blamed for what many in the company are calling a case of excessive violence against Scotty Static this past Sunday.

 

Almost right on cue, the door to the arena opens, and Malibu, bag slung over his shoulder, starts heading for the back lot.

 

JOSH

Zack! Zack, over here!

 

MALIBU

Now what, Josh? More of an expose? More finger pointing?

 

JOSH

Look, since you were cut off earlier tonight, I figured I'd take it upon myself...

 

MALIBU

What do you want me to say, Josh, huh? What do you exp...

 

*WHOOMP*

 

Suddenly, Malibu is tackled and pushed against the side of a car, as Johnny Jax of the GPX has attacked! Malibu starts pushing him away, but Jax holds him by the arms, allowing Jamie O'Hara to appear from behind some of the parked cars, and start hammering on Zack's back!

 

JOSH

Guys...WE NEED NEED SOME HELP OUT HERE! Jax...c'mon get off of him!

 

Jax and O'Hara wrestle Zack to the ground, and start putting the boots to him, but not your normal stomping. These are hard, relentless kicks, driven into the ribcage of Zack as he tries to swat his attackers away!

 

JOSH

WE NEED SOME HELP! DAMMIT! ANYONE, GET OUT HERE NOW!

 

Jax and O'Hara reach down and pick Zack up, and as he comes up Jax drives a hard knee into his gut. Together, they both hold Zack by the head, and then throw him backwards, sending the back of his head right through a car window!

 

JOSH

My...my God, Zack!

 

Malibu slides down to a seated position on the ground, blood smearing itself down the door of the vehicle. Malibu's face is a bloody mess, and his eyes are barely open, as Jax and O'Hara look down at him, pleased with themselves...until the back door swings open and a mass of superstars and staff rush outside! Jax and O'Hara back off slowly, then sprint away, hopping in a car and starting it up, peeling out of the parking lot as several superstars give chase. The cameras witnesses the vehicle speeding out of the lot and out into the city somewhere, watching until the taillights fade along with the scene.

 

Fade to black