KingPK 0 Report post Posted June 16, 2006 COLE Ladies and Gentlemen hello and welcome to OAOAST HeldDown! We are live north of the border once again in Toronto, Ontario, Canada! Michael Cole here at Sofa Central alongside The Coach, and former two-time OAOAST Champion, the one and only Caboose! CABOOSE After the events of last weeks show Michael Cole, I want some repercussions! I’ve got a feeling this is going to be one hell of a night. COLE We left you last week with the disturbing image of a bloody and battered Zack Malibu, after the Wildcards brutally attacked him after his HI-YAH Championship loss to Faqu. I really have nothing else to say regarding those events. CABOOSE ‘Nuff said. COACH Come on, Cole. I like when you actually grow a pair and say what's on your mind. COLE Coach, I said my piece last week. Let's leave it at that and focus on tonight where we have a huge main event; twenty OAOAST stars in one ring for an over the top battle royal to determine the #1 contender for OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion Alfdogg in two weeks at the Great Angle Bash. That and more in store tonight, but to kick off the show, I’ve been informed to send it down to ringside, where Michael Buffer is standing by. So, let’s go down there. The camera switches to Michael Buffer, standing in front of the timekeepers’ desk, microphone in hand. BUFFER Ladies and Gentlemen, at this time please welcome a former two-time One and Only AngleSault Thread World Champion. A former One and Only AngleSault Thread Twenty-Four Seven Champion. A former Revolution Trophy winner, and a former winner of the Lethal Rumble! It is my pleasure to introduce to you… AAAAAAAAXXXXEEEEELLLL!!!! COLE What????? “I’m on a High” hits as the Toronto crowd, bizarro world as they are, deliver a healthy pop for the return of one of the company’s greats, and a man who has been embroiled in controversy over the past year! CABOOSE What the…? COACH I didn’t think Axel was legally allowed to be on this show! Michael, did you know about this? COLE What the hell are you looking at me for? I had no idea! Stepping through the curtain, Axel appears fired up to return to the squared circle, playing to both sides of the crowd at the top of the ramp. Decked out in a black suit with a blood red shirt, the former GM makes his way down the ramp, even slapping a few hands as he makes his way to the battleground. Running up the steel steps and into the ring, Axel plays to the crowd further, striking the crucifix pose, and attracting another large pop by the Toronto crowd. COACH These fans are cheering a guy who has beaten up on some of the most popular wrestlers in the OAOAST locker room! CABOOSE Bizzaro world, remember? COLE In any event, I have no idea why Axel is out here, or even if he’s allowed to be here! As the music dies down, Axel takes a microphone from Michael Buffer, and paces around the ring as the pop slowly dies down. The former GM pauses, and then brings the microphone to his lips, addressing the crowd, and the millions watching live. AXEL Now, before the monkeys in the back have a collective heart attack… yes, I am legally allowed to be here. But why am I here? Well, not only to score the highest rating segment on this program in six weeks – and you’d better believe this is it – but to address the events of the last month. Now, as you know, the last time I was in this ring, I had just been a part of one of the single greatest moments in this companies’ history. Beside me were two of my best friends, on one side was Drek Stone… “BOOOOOOOOYEAHBOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!” AXEL …And on the other… was Hoff. “YEEEEAAHHBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBOOOOOO!!!!” AXEL The three of us had just become the most dominant force in the federation’s history, and we were about to embark on the most dominant period ever in professional wrestling. The owners had put their faith in me to lead this company into its next phase, and you can be damn sure I was ready. But, then the board of directors came along. Axel pauses, his expression turning more angry than serious. COLE That they did, and they made it a legal matter! AXEL They changed the rules. Illegal appointment, they cried. Against our contracts. The board ruined what should have been the greatest moment in all our careers. And now, the board want to take legal action. Now, I know the owners are quite happy to take this matter to court, and I know the board are quite happy to let this process go on for as long as possible, but, I’m here for the reason I was appointed. I’m here to look after the best interests of the company. If this goes on for years, you all know as well as I do that this will cripple the company. So, I have a proposition for the board. Axel turns around to address the other side of the crowd, who are waiting for his next comment. COLE A proposition? CABOOSE Who knows what’s going through Axel’s mind right now. The guy’s as unpredictable as he is untrustworthy. AXEL We settle this the way all disputes in this company should be settled… in the ring. “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHH!!!” AXEL This is a one time offer. You’ve only got the next two hours to accept it. Here’s what I’m proposing. In just over six weeks from now at a very special OAOAST Syndicated, we will have a match. The owners will pick one wrestler to represent their interests as their captain, of course, that will be myself. The board will also select a captain. Then, the two captains get four other guys to join their team. On that very special OAOAST Syndicated, all ten men will participate in a Captain’s Fall Tag Elimination match. The team that wins the match will gain control of the Presidency of the One and Only AngleSault thread. COLE That could be huge! A Captain’s Fall Elimination Match! AXEL Now, I know that old fossil, that old western reject Bill Watts is back there, trying to recapture the magic by talking to guys half his age. Watts, you and the board have those (fingerquotes) “parties” all the time in the board room, so I’m sure you’ll be able to get me an answer tonight. Do your best Brokeback Bill, because if you don’t accept this offer, this company is going to do what you should have done a long time ago… it is going to DIE. Think about it. Axel drops the mic, and his music hits as the former GM rolls out of the ring. Walking up the ramp, Axel slaps a couple of hands from supportive fans. COACH That match would perhaps be the biggest in One and Only AngleSault Thread history guys. CABOOSE For once, I agree with you Coachman, with the power that both the owners and the board wield, I can only imagine the teams that they would assemble. COLE Well, what a way to kick off HeldDown! We’ll be right back! Commercial break *GOOOOONG!* "YYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" "C'mon man" "DON'T CALL IT A COMEBACK..." Decked out in some nifty warm-up gear, with the big Battle Royal (presumably) later on in the night, The Silky Smooth One himself, Leon Rodez jigs his way out from the back to the sounds of "Mama Said Knock You Out". Rodez slaps some hands as he makes his way to the ring, with no hint of his big opportunity later playing on his mind. COLE This is unexpected, we don't have Leon Rodez on our schedule... COACH We have a schedule? COLE Well, no. I do. I go on the website every day and check for any developments, then note it down on my laptop, play about with the fonts and margins and then print it out...and study it. *looks off into distance* I have a lot of time on my hands. CABOOSE Mmm-hmm. Rolling into the ring, Rodez takes up the abandoned microphone in the ring and waits for the Canadian crowd to calm themselves. RODEZ Okay, before we kick things off here, I'd like to take a moment to send a shout out to a very special someone, who's birthday it is today. So, I want everyone hear to join me in wishing a very Happy Birthday to the one, the only... Mrs. Courtney Cox Arquette!! Give it up! She appeared on Thunder once! Commence mild cheering. RODEZ Alright, awesome. Now, I know I should probably be backstage right now jogging and squatting and all that stuff, preparing for later on. But to be honest, there's something that's distracting me from all that than I really have to deal with. See, for the past month of so, there's been some real sexual tension around here. And, no, I'm not talking about this Hoff/Drek/Axel power slash love triangle that's been going on behind the scenes. I'm talking about myself and Canada's very own sexbomb, Crystal. "YYAAAAAAAAAAAAYYY!" RODEZ Crystal, Crystal, Crystal. I realise you're a busy woman, what with being the 24/7 Champion and having to exert all that energy into getting Gunner to fight anyone who tries to get that title from you, but if you could please spare me a few moments of your time then that'd just be super. COLE Well this should be fun. CABOOSE Oh yes. Sexual innuendo. Haven't heard enough of that in my lifetime. Rodez waits patiently... ...and eventually, the screeching intro to "Plug In Baby" hits, to an admitted mixed reaction. Emerging through the entrance doors and looking none to thrilled at being called out, Crystal stops on the entrance way, thankfully with her own microphone in hand. Rodez opens the ropes in the ring inviting the 24/7 Champion down, but getting a disapproving reaction. RODEZ Come on now, don't be shy. CRYSTAL I'm not taking another step down this ramp unless you're restrained. You couldn't pay me to be within twenty feet of you, you oiled up little sex addict! RODEZ You know, I'm plenty proud of my physical appearance. Plenty proud. But, logistically, I don't think twenty feet is gonna work. "OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Realising she kinda walked into that one, Crystal lowers the microphone and hangs her head, cursing under her breath. RODEZ That was a joke, obviously. Well...obviously twenty feet would be too far, but that's an obvious statement, so you get my point. If you want to stay where you are, that's fine. You don't need to take another step because all I need is your presence. Because, I've got something that needs to be said and needs to be said with you in earshot. CRYSTAL Look, if you want a title shot then just say so and we... RODEZ Listen, Crystal, relax. Why so fiesty? There'll be plenty of time for that later. I'm not out here for that. You're the 24/7 Champion, that's cool. I'm completely content with that. I just want us to look past the belts and into the hearts. Our hearts. I want to tell you how I feel about you, the way anyone else in this wacky business we sometimes call professional wrestling would do. I want to tell you how I feel, like when The GPX say they hate Zack, when JINGUS says he wishes he was still teaming with Dan Black and getting a paycheck or when Mister Warrior says "AAUAURRUAGHHHUGH" and goes charging off down the hallways with two handfuls of streamers and pasta sauce down his chin for some inane reason. It happened. Honest. Crystal, I want to tell you and the world how I feel about you. And what better way than through poetry? Crystal looks rightfully confused, as Rodez reaches into the back pocket of his jeans and pulls out a piece of paper. Unfurling the sheet, The Silky Smooth One clears his throat before setting the paper in his eyeline, beside Crystal who watches on with arms folded. RODEZ Okay, here we go. "An Ode To Crystal". *AHEEEEEEM!* RODEZ I've been with Latino, I've been with Chinese But from what I've seen you'd be the greatest with ease. The 24/7 Champion remains, to say the least, unimpressed. RODEZ Those who don't love you must surely be fools You're cuter than the redhead on 8 Simple Rules. CABOOSE That's...very wrong. COACH Yeah, at the very least it's a tie. CABOOSE ... RODEZ Crystal, baby gurl, you're my idea of heaven I'll love you daily and nightly, 24/7 Smart rhyme, but still Crystal hasn't been won over. RODEZ Offers, I have plenty, but my heart has been taken I want us to make sweet, Canadian bacon And now, she's just disgusted. RODEZ Our love will need to be mopped up by a janitor When I get you in bed, I'll make you scream 'OH, CANADAAAA'! "OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COLE Do janitor and Canada really rhyme? CABOOSE It's not supposed to be Shakespeare doofus. RODEZ And fear not my gem, no belt can come between us You show me the gold and I'll show you my pe... CRYSTAL ALRIGHT ENOUGH!!!! The crowd, despite knowing exactly what was coming next, groan with disappointment at not actually hearing it. Innocently, Rodez holds his arms out and wonders what the problem is, as Crystal paces around on the stage for a moment. Almost as if she can't believe this isn't a rib. CRYSTAL Enough of this! I'm sick of the poetry. I'm sick of you following me around like some lovesick puppy dog. I'm sick of the dirty lustful stares I keep getting from the other ends of the hallways when I walk past you. I'm sick of the love letters left in my locker room every damn week! RODEZ Actually, those weren't mine. COACH He's not lying. ... COACH I mean...uh... CRYSTAL Look, I don't care, okay. All I know is, I'm sick and damn tired of you, you dirty horndog, treating me like you treat the rest of the no name, no talent valet bimbos around here. They ask for it. I don't! Newsflash kid, I'm not eye candy. I'm an athlete. I'm the best female athlete the OAOAST has ever seen. I've wrestled in cages and with weapons. I've won championships. My blood has stained OAOAST rings for years. That demands respect. The other girls in this business who strut around here in their halter tops and their bikinis and have their little catfights for the 13 year olds without access to pornography? That's fine. Leer over them because they deserve no better. But me? I deserve a LOT better! RODEZ I know, I know. And you can wear whatever you want around me. Genuine statement or not, Crystal takes this typically as an insult and if looks could kill, Leon Rodez would be flat out on the canvas twitching. CRYSTAL Look, either you're doing this to annoy me or you're very, very stupid. So hotshot, I've got a proposal for you. I'll do what you're obviously dying for me to do deep down and give you your rematch for this precious 24/7 Championship at The Great Angle Bash. You and me, one on one. No Gunner. Nobody else running interference trying to take the belt. Just you and me. Man to...woman. If you don't think it's too sexist to wrestle a woman, that is. RODEZ I'm sorry, did you just call me sexy? Because I could have sworn I heard the word 'sexist', but that can't be right. CRYSTAL You heard the word sexist and I'm surprised you're not used to by now with your putrid little sleazeball act. RODEZ No no, see now you've done it. Listen, I respect everything you've done. I was there when you won the World Championship off of Zack... CRYSTAL And the first thing you said was "Hey, that belt really shows off your eyes". RODEZ ...that was just an ice breaker. CRYSTAL Listen, I'll level with you Leon. The only reason I'm giving you a shot at this title is because you're so obsessed with giving me the come-on, you're going to be the easiest opponent I've ever had. You don't respect me, you don't respect women and you're going to be royally embarrassed by the Crown Jewel of the OAOAST at Great Angle Bash for those very reasons. But I'll tell you what, 'sugar', when I do beat you at The Bash I know you'll be so mortified that you'll sink into depression. So, dinner's on me, because I've got a Dairy Queen coupon that I'm never going to get around to using. Smugly, Crystal smirks down the ramp as Leon rolls his eyes, running a hand through his hair. RODEZ I'll tell you what...if that's what you want, then fine. Contrary to what you think, I do respect you. So if wrestling you at The Great Angle Bash is what you really want, then you're on. Dropping the microphone, Leon has presumably given Crystal what she wanted, prompting the smiling 24/7 Champion to leave. CABOOSE Unbelievable. Leon's so unappealing that he managed to make the 24/7 Champion challenge HIM to a match, just so that she can quit having to deal with him. That has to be a new low, surely? COLE Maybe that was Leon's plan all along. CABOOSE Oh please. He doesn't even know Crystal's the Champ because his eyes are fixed about 10 inches too high to even see her waist. COACH I know that feeling. COLE You're disturbing. Another Commercial! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted June 16, 2006 Madonna’s “Time goes by” starts up and the entire arena gets up on their feet cheering, hootin’ and dancing as the Dance Dance evolutionary is about to enter the arena COACH BRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING OUT THE HONEYS!!! *drools* MICHAEL BUFFER The following contest is set for ONE fall, introducing first the dance dance sensation that’s sweeping the nation (reads from the cue card) a friend to animals and women in distress he’s none other than the DANCE!!. . . DANCE!! . . . DRAAAAAAAAAAAAAGOOOOONN!!! YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!! Dragon steps onto the ramp taken back by the extremely positive response from the crowd, he looks around at the totally packed station and all the Torontonians in attendance, not since that free beer promotion by McDonalds have so many Canadians been this excited all at once. COACH *mumbles* An outrage CABOOSE What is? COACH No dancers – now I officially have no reason to care for the guy COLE He probably told them to stay in the back because of the threats made by Cardinal Xie. . . Xemi. . . Xemu. . . Cardinal X! Dragon runs to the ring, arms out like an airplane as he runs down the steep ramp and then around the ring slapping hands as he goes alone before he slides under the bottom rope into the ring and kips up to his feet. * BOOM!* BOOM!* BOOM!* BOOM!* BOOM!* BOOM!* The fireworks explode around the ring as Dragon pops up on one knee and flexes his skinny arms like he was Hulk Hogan or something. Once the smoke dies down Dragon hops to his feet, then nods his head in agreement as he sees a large banner in the audience that reads “Dance Dance Revolution is more than a game!” CABOOSE When these jokers in red came out last week I honestly did not expect the Spanish Inqu. . . Ah crap! NOOOOOOOOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION! DUN-DUN-DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!!! COLE You had to say it didn’t you? A series of Gregorian Chants are heard through out the arena as Cardinal X, Cardinal Fang and Cardinal Biggles slowly walk out, the large Cardinal Biggles carrying a large crucifix over his shoulder and Cardinal X swinging one of those smoking lamps as they slowly head towards the ring. Dragon looks at the procession for a moment, then he figures that the Gregorian Chants are the perfect background music for some AIR GUITAR!! COACH What is that foo’ doing? CABOOSE Maybe he just couldn’t resist the beat of the music? Who knows with this guy. ”Ie Jesus Domine – HUR!! Pax Vobiscum Sanctum Ie Jesus Domine – HUR!! Pax Vobiscum Sanctum” Dragon smashes his imaginary guitar against the ground as the chants slowly fade out making room for Cardinal X to introduce Dance Dance Dragon’s opponent. When the man in red begins to talk Dragon goes over to one of the turnbuckles and leans against it like he’s bored or about to fall asleep. CARDINAL X Saints and Sinners, believers and lost souls – Satanists of ALL AGES! Pope Benedict XVI – that’s 16 to you ignorant masses – PRODULY PRESENTS a member of the Spanish Inquisition Team, fighting in red and with a record of 342 confessions, 82 conversions and 14 “accidentals” the man that shows everyone that not EVERY Frenchman surrenders. . . Cardinal X takes a deep breath, he’s noting if not a showman. CARDINAL X “THE BLESSED FROG” CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARDINAL JEAN-PAUL ZATAPATIQUE FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNG!!! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! Once they reach ringside Cardinal Biggles plants the large crucifix on the ground and kneels down with his hands folded in prayer. Cardinal Fang does likewise while Cardinal X places a hand on his head and holds up what may or may not be an Italian tourist guide. CARDINAL X I shall now bless those amongst us who believe in the good book CABOOSE Ah - Playboy Cardinal X flips through the book looking a little confused, then he finds his spot and begins the blessing (courtesy of Babelfish) “Dove sono le tolette?” “Il bus è fatto ritardare?” “Due birre e una piastra dello spaghetti” The Dragon quickly grows tired of the antics of the S.I.T. and goes over to the side of ring as all three men close their eyes and pray to whatever god they worship. Dragon looks at them, then at the crowd, then back at the three Cardinals where he starts to make fun of them praying. A guy kneeling in front of another guy – you figure it out;) Cardinal Fang peaks and sees the Dragon mocking them and their very sacred rituals. Without a word Fang slides into the ring and then instead of a verbal reply he just marches over to Dragon and then kicks him square in the nuts. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! * DING!* DING!* DING!* DING!* CABOOSE And we’re under way with the traditional ringing of the testicles COLE Are you sure he hit it? Dragon doesn’t look that bothered at all And he’s right Dance Dance Dragon doesn’t do the traditional “Bending over crying while holding your nuts” reaction that usually follows a sharp kick to the testicles. Instead Dragon taps his groin area, making a slightly hollow plasticy sound as he taps his athletic cup and then shakes a finger at Fang. Of course Cardinal Fang doesn’t actually see this as he has his back to Dragon expecting him to be crying and bawling like a baby. Dragon races forward, leaps up and knees on Fang’s shoulders with his feet behind his back and then he flips forward throwing the surprised Cardinal Fang half way across the ring. COLE Man what speed! CABOOSE The only thing that did was piss Fang off, do you really want to do that when he’s got back up on the floor? Dragon quickly gets to his feet, does a quick two step as he waves to Fang and then raises his arms in the air like he won a gold medal or something. “The Sacred Frog” gets back to his feet and then waves at Dragon to come on. Then Dragon returns the gesture and waves for *FANG* to come on instead, an invitation Fang quickly takes as he rushes Dragon trying to either punch him or clothesline him, it’s not quite clear which as Dragon quickly rolls under Fang’s arms and then back up on his feet. COLE Man guy is FAST! COACH Whoa and devious! CABOOSE That wasn’t devious, he just drop kicked him in the back! The drop kick to Fang’s back sends him face and chest first into the turnbuckles much to the dismay of the Cardinals on the floor. Dragon quickly rushes in and then applies a rear chinlock on Fang as he sits down on the Cardinal’s back and begins to pull back, shaking his shoulders back and forth a little as if he was listening to a particularly engaging piece of music COACH Oh come on that’s just insulting! CABOOSE Hey Fang kicked HIM first, I say all is fair in love and nut kickery here, in fact Dragon needs to kick Fang in the nuts to make it even. Fang tries to reach for the ropes but he’s a couple of inches short, a couple of inches away from “salvation” if you will. Dragon shakes his head, secure in the knowledge that Cardinal Fang is too far away from the ropes. Too far away from the ropes unless Cardinal Biggles pushes the rope inwards into Fang’s open hand BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! COLE Oh come on! COACH You know what? I’m starting to like these guys – I don’t mean the “no skanks allowed” thinking of course but how they handle them in the ring. The moment Fang is back on his feet Dragon goes on the offence again with a running start. Dragon grabs Fang by the hair, then leaps over the top rope while still holding on to his hair and drops down to the floor. Fang’s entire body snaps backwards after his throat comes down on the top rope and he flips head over elbow ending up on his stomach in the middle of the ring. Dragon leaps up on the apron, then runs down along it to give him enough speed to quickly run up the turnbuckles on the outside and then flip into the ring with a twisting leg drop to the back of Fang’s head. CABOOSE HOLY CRAP!! Did he file a flight plan before the match started? COLE Dragon is known as a high flier and he’s certainly demonstrating it tonight The Dragon figures he’s gone to the well a few times already and that another one can’t hurt, thus he climbs the ropes and gets ready to fly – sadly this time was just one time to the well too many as Cardinal Biggles reaches up and shoves the Dragon off the top rope behind the referee’s back BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! Cardinal X turns to the fans and begins to admonish them, admonish them and chastise them. . . and belittle them all at once. Meanwhile Cardinal Fang has gotten his second win in the ring and quickly climbs the ropes to show the Dragon that he’s not the only high flier in the match. Fang climbs the turnbuckles while looking around at the crowd, then he stops about half way up, changes his mind and gets down again. To the confusion of everyone in the crowd Fang leaves the ring, then approaches a young woman in the front row with a wide grin on his face. The young woman looks a little uncomfortable as Fang nonchalantly leans against the guardrail and then begins to talk to his CARDINAL FANG (in his most charming and suave voice) Well ‘alloooo there COLE What the hell is he doing? He should be focusing on the match and not some girl at ringside! COACH He obviously likes what he’s seeing Cole, I can’t blame him he’s got great taste COLE Yeah but there is a match going on! This isn’t a dating service! But Fang seems to have totally lost focus on the match and is busy talking to the blonde woman in the front row making all sorts of advances at his that he tries his best to ignore and look dis-interested. That’s the problem when you’re used to being able to order people around– subtle “fuck off” signs are ignored or worse taken as interest and Fang seems to make that mistake as well. COLE Alright he does need to pay attention here, Dragon is back on his feet CABOOSE Back on his feet and pissed off! Fang keeps ignoring the match in progress as he keeps talking to the girl at ringside, he doesn’t even notice that Dragon has left the ring and is standing behind him now, tapping him on the shoulder CARDINAL FANG (offhandedly) In a minute I’m busy Dragon taps him on the shoulder once again to get his attention but once more he’s dismissed with the wave of a hand as French Cardinal is on the make. Dragon’s third tap isn’t nearly as gentle as the first two, but then again a double axe handle Polish Hammer right between the shoulder blades is a very effective way of getting someone’s attention *THUD!!* The impact knocks Fang forward, sending him chest first into the guardrail to a huge pop from the crowd. Then the girl in the front row stands up, opens up her jacket and shows off her Dance Dance Dragon T-Shirt and then high fives her idol. COACH Oh no don’t tell me the Dragon picked up ANOTHER ONE? How the hell does he do it? Is it the mask? I can get a ma. . . I mean “I can teach him a thing or two” *clears throat* COLE You know I’d love to know why there hasn’t been a count so far, Fang was outside the ring for quite a while CABOOSE Erm *cough*quiet*cough* - oh dear I got to take something for that cough With Fang pinned down against the guardrail Dragon quickly connects his foot with chest over and over again as he tries to stomp the proverbial mudhole in Cardinal Fang much to the delight of the crowd. SEVEN!! CABOOSE See he’s been counting all along he’s just not very loud COLE Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiight EIGHT!! Dragon casually rolls under the bottom rope and then back out again quickly breaking the count so that he can return to kicking Fang’s ass. Dragon ducks under a punch from Fang, then lifts him up in the air and drops the Cardinal face first on the ring apron, a move that does NOT meet with approval of the other two members of the S.I.T. but for now they keep their distance, Dance Dance Dragon grabs his opponent and rolls him under the bottom rope, keeping his head draped over the edge. Dragon grabs Fang by the head and tilts it backwards, then does the Dusty hand jukin’ and jiving ending with the crotch grab and a bionic elbow right on Fang’s throat making him gag and gasp for air as he clutches his throat in pain. YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!! COLE You’ve got to admit that the Dragon has really been in control of this match COACH I’ve got to admit that the dancers are hot, that’s all I’ll admit to After rolling his opponent into the ring Dragon slides in after him and then zeroes in on Cardinal Fang once more, lurking behind his back as he staggers back to his feet. Then he grabs one of his arms and hooks it from behind, then he hooks the other arm going for a backslide on the pious Frenchman. COACH Oh lord when was the last time someone ever won with this move? CABOOSE I don’t know but I’m sure you were there to call it wrong! Fang reacts instinctively to the backslide position and pulls forward himself actually lifting Dragon up in the air, straddled across his back as the Drunken Dragon raises his opponent up in the air. Then Fang bends even further forward, probably hoping to backslide Dragon down but instead ends up tripping and falling to his knees unceremoniously dropping Dance Dance Dragon. COLE Fatigue or in experience? COACH I have it on good authority that Cardinal Fang is VERY experienced CABOOSE Yeah he’s got first hand knowledge COACH YEA. . . wait what? Fang is quickly back on his feet and then does the “Walking Man” for a second to mock the Dance Dance Dragon before turning his attention back to Dance Dance Dragon. Pretty soon the Walking Man is turned into the Irish Whipped man as Dragon tosses Cardinal Fang into the corner with enough force to knock him off his feet, where he ends up slumping back against the bottom turnbuckle. YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!! CABOOSE He’s got him JUST where he wants him Dragon raises a hand in the air to signal for a splash, then he races from corner to corner and leaps ready to sit flatten Cardinal Fang against the turnbuckles. *TH-HUUUUUUURR!!* OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHH!! The men in the audience all instinctively moan in sympathy with Dance Dance Dragon as he came down, not on Fang’s chest but on the Cardinal’s outstretched foot. . . right between his wide spread legs. . . Yeah THAT place. COACH WOOOOOO YEAH!! Ladies I’m ready to take over any time! COLE You’re such a caveman King COACH Hey I could have made a joke about how Fang’s boot needs a penicillin shot but I refrained from doing so, I’m a cultured sophisticated man The Dragon sinks to his knees while holding whatever is between his legs, his eyes getting watery from the pain. Fang quickly follows up his “foot to the groin” move by planting that very same foot square in Dragon’s face, knocking his down. Then Fang quickly gets back to his feet, shakes his head and lets out a roaring CARDINAL FANG DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION IS THE DEVIL’S GAME!!! There are a few things you just do not do to Dragon – and putting down DDR is one of them, putting down DDR and trying to kick Dragon’s ass is another one, and Fang just did both. Dance Dance Dragon is quickly back on his feet shaking with anger as he stares at Fang. When the Blessed Frog tries to punch his he just shakes it off like it was nothing, then he strikes his again but once more he shakes it off before raising his hand in the air. “YOOOOOOOOOOU!!” the crowd chants as he points at Fang who backs off a little. But it doesn’t matter as Dragon quickly attacks him with a series of punches to the face, finishing off with a double axe handle that sends Fang crashing to the mat. Then he turns around and flexes his muscles before busting out a few moves to pop the crowd YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!! COLE HE’S DRAGON’ING UP KING!! COACH Oh brother Dragon keeps up his frenzied attack as he leaps on Fang and starts to let his fists rain down on Fang fast and furious as Cardinal Fang tries his best to cover his face up with his hands and arms ending up with his alternating between elbowing Fang in the ribs and hitting him in the face as the crowd goes nuts FUCK HIM UP DRAGON, FUCK HIM UP!! FUCK HIM UP DRAGON, FUCK HIM UP!! Dragon quickly gets to his feet and pulls Fang up by the hair and tears into him with a vicious chop to the chest. Dragon backs up a couple of steps and then leaps at Fang once more Only to strike the referee!! Fang quickly pulled him in between them as he swiftly grabs anything and everything he could get his hands on and thus the referee got sandwiched between Dragon and Fang and knocked out from the surprise and the force of Dragon’s elbow. Dragon gives the referee a quick sideways glance before he goes back on the attack only to be thwarted by Cardinal X sliding into the ring and then taking the Dance sensation down with a stiff lariat BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! COACH You know I’m beginning to dig what I’m seeing here COLE Yeah YOU would. Cardinal Fang rolls out of the ring to catch his breath as Cardinal X lays in a couple of quick kicks to Dragon’s back before leaving the ring again. Cardinal Fang is bent over, hands on his knees right in front of Team 3C as he gets some distance to Dragon who’s still flat on the mat. COLE Where is he going now? The boy needs to focus on the ma- *POW!!* Michael Cole is interrupted by a boot to the face as Cardinal Fang super kicks Cole clear out of the couch to the surprise of everyone (including Coach and Caboose) Then he reaches down and pulls off Cole’s headphones, puts them on and sits down in Cole’s position. CARDINAL FANG Yu know Coach in my expert ay-pinion as ze “Voice of OAOAST” Fang starts in a mock “Howard Cosell” voice COACH Did I ever tell you that I like what you did with your hair Cole? Dragon slowly pulls himself up to his feet and then looks around for Cardinal Fang. FANG When Ay fairst saw Dragon ze SWF my first thought was “C-Dawg” – Ay call myself C-Dawg when ay think. Ay said “C-Dawg, who the ‘ell thought it was a good idea to sign ze court jestair? COACH *Laughs out loud* Dragon walks right past the announcers table, not even really looking at Coach, Caboose or King (well Fang) but instead he’s cautiously checking around to make sure Fang isn’t hiding somewhere ready to attack his. COACH You know *MICHAEL COLE* I can’t believe that this idiot thinks he can beat Cardinal Fang, he can’t even find him! CARDINAL FANG You know Ay ‘eard someone call zis guy stupid, but that’s not true – Ze mask restricts the flow of blood to ‘is brain *chuckles* A chuckle that Dragon recognizes as he whips around and looks straight at Fang in surprise. Fang stands up, takes off his headset and then drops it on Cole who’s still on the ground and can’t get up on his own. Dragon approaches the announcing table but before he can attack Fang the vile man from France pushes the table forward driving the edge of it into Dragon’s mid section knocking his down. COACH Man that’s got to be the first time announce table fought back! Fang quickly leaps from the table up onto the apron, then he puts a foot on the middle rope to help him flip over his own head and come down with a splash on Dragon. Moments after Fang connects the referee finally regains his senses and begins to count them both out of the ring. ONE!! But Fang isn’t about to lose a match on a count out and quickly rolls his opponent back inside the ring before leaping up on the apron again. COAC Man he’s got more spring in him than a super ball COLE God damn son of a bi. . . Michael Cole mutters various curses as he puts his headset back on. COACH What were you doing on the floor Mak? You’re such a messy man COLE Oh very funny CABOOSE I try With Dragon on his back in the middle of the ring Fang quickly climbs up on the top turnbuckle with a hand triumphantly raised in the air. Then he takes 3 steps across the top rope! To the surprise of more or less everyone in the arena he manages to walk across the top rope, then pause for a split second to do a quick prayer for a few moments before springboarding off Well maybe not springboarding as much as misstepping on the last step and flipping off sideways by accident, apparently god wasn't listening after all. COLE HA! COACH Man you’re so biased it’s not even funny Michael CABOOSE Oh he had it coming, he’s been taking stupid risks all night and guess what? Stupid risks sometimes backfire And Caboose was right, Fang had taken a chance, a stupid chance and now he’s on the ground after slamming down shoulder and neck first missing Dragon by at least a foot. Miss Dance Dance Dragon gets back to his feet after regaining some composure, then he assesses the situation and climbs up on the second turnbuckle after a “That’s it” gesture. COLE PERFECT!! PERFECT RIGHT ON FANG’S CHEST!! CABOOSE Smart to go for the quick cover here. ONE!! TWO!! THREE!! YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!! COLE HE GOT IT!! DANCE DANCE DRAGON PINNED FANG!! The moment the referee’s hand hits three both Cardinal X and Cardinal Biggles rush the ring trying to get their hands on the Dancing Dragon but the Dragon is too swift for the enraged S.I.Ts and he slips out of their grip and then runs down the aisle to get away from the 2 on 1 situation. CABOOSE I’ll be damned! You can bet that Cardinal X won’t like this COACH I’m sure the pope disapproves too! Maybe he’ll come here next week and go Catholic on Dragon’s ass COLE And on that blasphemous note, let’s take a commercial break – I for one need it. . . and some aspirin. Commercial break Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted June 16, 2006 COLE Well, we are back here on HeldDown, and as the night is winding down, we still have not heard any response from Bill Watts regarding Axel’s challenge to the Board of Directors. We understand that Bill Watts is backstage, and, from a personal point of view, I’d like to see him accept the challenge. CABOOSE I agree Michael, as much of an asshole has he is, Axel is right. If this matter gets dragged on in court, ultimately, this company will suffer, and that’s the last thing we want to happen. COLE Our main event is coming up later on as 20 OAOAST stars step into the ring, all with a chance to face Alfdogg in two weeks time at the Great Angle Bash for the OAOAST Championship. But speaking of Alfdogg and speaking of the Great Angle Bash, as you saw on OAOAST.com a few days ago, the man Alfdogg defeated to win the championship, Peter Knight, is going to make his first appearance at an OAOAST event since School's Out less than two weeks from tonight at the Bash! CABOOSE I've heard a lot of rumors in the back about where Knight's future lies after the Stairway to Hell match. But I guess we'll get the real story in Baltimore. COLE That we will. Switching gears, last week we saw the long-vacant X-Title finally be decided. Let's head to the back where the new X-Champion has something to say. The camera is now in a lockerroom, where Irish flags are hung all about. The new OAOAST X Champion, TJ Burns, is standing in front of the couch, where his fiancee, Claire LeBeaux, is sitting. The newest OAOAST Senior Lockerroom Correspondent, Nigel O’Flanneryshiretoole, is standing by. NIGEL Micheal, Coach, I am here with the PRIDE of Ireland, the new OAOAST X Champion, TJ Burns. TJ, it’s an honor. TJ Thanks... NIGEL You recently went back to Donegal, Ireland. What was your reception like? TJ The reception was incredible, Nigel...um...but, quite frankly, I didn’t want it. I went home to tell me mum, and show her the belt, and that was it. NIGEL Well...why not? TJ I’m not the same TJ Burns. I’m not the flashy and flamboyant pretty boy that was here before. I’m not the “Irish Heartbreaker” anymore. Look at where that shite got me. I was the tag team champion, yes, but no-one ever took me seriously. They always thought that I was the one that was messing around while Tyler was winning the matches. Everyone thought I didn’t take wrestling seriously. NIGEL I must admit, I didn’t take you seriously either... -TJ nods and looks at Claire, who shrugs and looks at Nigel, who is now looking quite nervous. TJ looks away from Claire and stares at Nigel. TJ ...That’s exactly the reason why...I am willing to defend this title against ANYBODY. In fact...NEXT week? I am issuing an open challenge to the entire OAOAST Lockerroom...Anybody that wants a shot...first come, first serve....Now get the fuck out of my lockerroom... -Nigel looks down slowly as TJ sits down next to Claire. Nigel walks out of frame slowly as TJ puts his arm around his fiancee. The camera fades to black. Great Angle Bash TWO WEEKS away!! ONLY on pay-per-view. COLE Ladies and gentlemen, it's been the talk of the wrestling world for the past seven days...and it all went down on OAOAST television, on Thursday Night HeldDOWN~! one week ago. For some time now, emotions have run high in this company. The Civil War, the choosing sides, the tension amidst so many of our stars...that's all typical for our company, and for this industry. So are sneak attacks, chairshots, table breaks, and other methods of mayhem. But...but last week...last week the line was crossed, right here, right before my very eyes, and now...now we've got to give PROMO TIME to these guys? CABOOSE Don't you want an explanation, Cole? COLE You know what...I don't CARE what they have to say...I don't care about why they were brought here, or what it turned into. What I care about is that Zack Malibu, the face...the MAN that decided to adopt this company as his own, as his CAUSE, is...gone. Laid up somewhere, we don't know where, with God only knows how many injuries. Beaten to a bloody pulp...by those murderous, bloodthirsty...you know what...just bring them out...cue their music if you hear me in the truck...I've got nothing left to say that won't get us thrown off the air. COACH Mikey Cole's got a hair across his ass this wee... COLE COACHMAN, SHUT UP. Because if that was one of your "boys" then you'd be doing the same damn thing, just more annoyingly. Zack Malibu was trapped in that cage, already worn and bruised, and they took full advantage of it, and not one person in that damn arena helped him, and for WHAT!? To prove a point? Is that why, Caboose? CABOOSE Listen, Michael, I... COLE IS THAT WHY? CABOOSE Michael, don't do this, this isn't the time. COLE But it's the time to bring them out here, right? That's ok, right? Fine. Bring them out. Bring all three of the sick bastards out. The cameras pull away from Sofa Central, as Coachman and Caboose feel it's best to let Michael Cole vent his frustration with the actions of Blank, Cortez and Bloodshed. Just moments later, Cortez's theme song of "Oh No" is cued up, and The Wildcards, who gradually became enemies of the fanbase, are met with THUNDEROUS boos this time...and love every second of it. The sick smiles on the face of all three men only further the crowds hatred of them, and they gleefully soak in the boos as they hit the ring, with Cortez playing to the hard camera while Blank snickers on the apron, and Bloodshed peers through his evil eyes out towards the fans while standing on the middle rope. CABOOSE I'm surprised they didn't ask for a security escort with how many people want to hurt them. Blank, Cortez, and Bloodshed all filter towards the center of the ring. Blank motions for Buffer to bring the microphone into the ring for them, but Buffer won't budge. Blank turns to Bloodshed as if to ask "is he for real?" before walking to the ropes, and calling for the mic again. Buffer looks around, as the fans start a chant of "Don't Do It!" for the famed ring announcer...however the games stop when Cortez hops out of the ring and swipes the microphone from the timekeeper's table...and then SPITS IN THE FACE OF MICHAEL BUFFER! COLE Now COME ON! The crowd jumps on the incident, jeering loudly, as the dapper announcer wipes saliva from his cheek. Cortez rolls into the ring, and with the crowd still on his case, begins to address the fans. CORTEZ People, this is a sad day in the OAOAST. COACH Yeah, cuz you're out here! CABOOSE Burn. CORTEZ It's a sad day not for us, oh no, but for each and every one of you that paid your money to buy the ticket that got you into the arena tonight. It is a sad day for the viewers at home, all around the world. It is a sad day for every man, woman and child that supports this company. For every wrestler, valet, commentator, go-fer, and cameraman involved in this federation. Each and every one of you is in mourning, in agony, because you are now trapped in a place you do not wish to be...you are now trapped in a world without heroes! The crowd continues booing, going nonstop with their hatred, but Cortez carries on. CORTEZ Last week, the boiling point was reached. Do we look like three men that adhere to any type of authority? Zack Malibu did his part in getting us into the OAOAST, and we repaid him for it, but then he just kept coming back for more when he didn't like what he saw. He tried to put all the blame on US, make US into the bad guys, and you all bought into it! You all see us for brutal, bloodthirsty savages, and you know what? YOU'RE RIGHT! Because that's what gets us off...violence. It's a violent world. Everywhere you turn, crime is rampant. Everytime you put on the evening news, it's murder this, mugging that. I was RAISED on a diet of violence since birth...since BIRTH I had to learn how to kill, or be killed, and last week, we did just that. We killed. Not only did we kill off Zack Malibu, kill his career, but we killed the last bastion of hope that ANY of you had. We killed off the prodigal son, the one who carried the torch of this company...WE DID WHAT NO ONE ELSE SUCCEEDED IN DOING. Not Drek Stone, not Hoff, not Peter Knight, not Axel, not The Hooligans...all of you tried, and all of you failed. We did something you've all craved, you've all wanted for so so long...and yet you still jade us? What should have led us to be welcomed, FINALLY, with open arms has now blackballed us from the very company...THIS company...that we work for, and face it boys, it's all good and it's all legal, and we are your peers. Cortez pauses for a moment to catch a breath, but in the midst of it, Blank motions for the mic, while Bloodshed, arms crossed, looks on. BLANK Toddy, I'll take 'er from here right now. Ya see, Zack Malibu...he's a strange case. He acts all innocent when he knew full well what we were capable of, and if it's one thing me and the boys here aren't too keen on, it's phonies. Fakes. Frauds. That's what Zack Malibu is. Friend to your face, foe to your back. Nothin' but a leech, a parasite, clinging to whatever can make him and himself alone look good to try and appease you poor pathetic people who for years have bought into his crap. Well let me tell you all, everyone listenin' and watchin' right now...you can hate us for it, or you can thank us for it, but the bottom line, and you can bet yer last dollar on this one, is that Zack Malibu is GONE. DEAD AND DONE. Last week, as he lay at my feet, busted and bloodied, you may as well have piled the soil on him and set him off on a dirtnap, because there's no comin' back from that. To some, it was a message, to us, he's just a statistic...just another victim, another broken body layin' in our wake. In fact...there ain't no need to acknowledge him no more. Cortez nods, while Bloodshed grins a sinister, Cheshire cat like smile. Blank fixes the brim of his hat, and continues. BLANK What I do wanna talk about now is somethin' that's been irkin' me since last weekends Pay Per View. Now in case you live under a rock, you know that Bloodshed and myself also compete elsewhere, a little place called the SWF. A mixed reaction comes up, as some fans cheer and some boo the mention of the competition. BLANK A few weeks ago, Zack Malibu gave a free pass, a blessing, to his enemies...a way to make amends with the very people he brought us in to eliminate. He told those damn Hooligans that they could come at us anywhere, anytime, and what do they do? They get the idea, the NERVE, to show up on our home turf? They decide to show up in No Man's Land and cause a ruckus at our expense, and make us look like fools on a live pay per view when we had a major match at hand? Boys, I don't know when your balls dropped, but your mission was accomplished...you got our attention again, and this time...it's about more than just the World Six Man Titles. It's about more than revenge, retribution, or gaining your precious "street cred" at our expense. It's about punishment this time, boys. Ultimate Punishment. See, after what you pulled, we were quick to sign on the dotted line for The Great Angle Bash. We're gonna take you into our enviroment, turn this little squared circle here into our playground once again. The three of us, the three of you. No disqualifications, countouts, or any o' that. A match completely free of rules. Not one fall to a finish, but elimination style, and lastly...as if there wasn't enough violence planned...we're gonna give you a little extra somethin' that might help you last for more than five minutes...each of us, all six of us that is, are gonna have some incentive wrapped around our wrists...namely four foot long leather straps that we can use to whip, choke, hang and hurt each other until our backs are lobster red and welted...wooooo-whee, I'm gettin' goose bumps just thinkin' about it! Blank laughs a bit, and nods to Bloodshed and Cortez about what a great idea he thinks the Ultimate Punishment match is...and then quickly turns to the entranceway, as the sounds of "Make Her Say" jolts him, and gains his attention. COACH Ooooooooh boy. CABOOSE Here comes the calvalry! Getting their fair share of cheers this time around, Scotty Static, Johnny Jax, and Jamie O'Hara walk down the ramp with a purpose, hitting the ring. Once there, they go nose to nose with The Wildcards, and Static swipes the mic from Blank. STATIC Bruce, I don't care what kind of name you give it, or what stipulations you put on the contract...you want us? You got us. The Great Angle Bash is ON. The crowd roars, and The Wildcards seem pleased that these "pushovers" are welcoming the chance to be their next victims. STATIC But...Bruce, aren't you forgetting something? See, it might be a taboo subject around here, but we're not one for the rulebook either. Seems to me you're forgetting that you and the Smilin' Mime over there don't have to wait that long. Don't you guys forget that because of what happened Sunday, when we showed up on the SWF PPV and called you out, it hit you guys right "there", didn't it? Took the heart and soul right out of you that me and Jax, ya know, two of the punk bastards that you think are nothin' more than your tackling dummies, came at you on your home turf and punked you out in front of allllll those SWFers that you thought you had a hold on. See, you guys can't rely on your little intimidation factor with us, because quite frankly, none of us give a DAMN about who you are, what you've done, or what you think you're gonna do. Jamie O'Hara right here, this little man took beatings...took STAPLES from you sick sons of bitches, and look at him...he's STILL STANDING AND READY TO GO. My face...my face got busted up, my nose was pushed halfway across my cheekbone by Bloodshed, and yet here I am, all up in your grill. You think what you did to Zack Malibu worries us? Blank leans over, and speaks softly into the microphone. BLANK I don't think it worries you, boy. I think it scares you. Static shrugs his shoulders, playing off the fact that Blank just may be right...then cuts loose with a hard slap that brings a rise out of the crowd! STATIC SCARED? How's that for scared, you backwoods shit-hick? Let me tell you something right here and now...if we were scared, would we dare show up at the SWF? If we were scared, would we come back tomorrow night to your home turf to kick your ass and embarrass you? I don't care what your rep is, I don't care what "cred" you have...so you got to Malibu. Left him laying inside that cage last week covered, caked in his own blood, bleeding from head to toe. The thing is, Malibu was always about pleasing people...he always worried about what people thought, and that's why he wound up in the mess he got into when you came along. With us, it's a whole different story, because we don't give a DAMN what you think, what the OAOAST thinks, what the SWF thinks. Excessive violence? Unwarranted brutality? The way we see it, you paved the way for it, and now it's time for payback. An eye for an eye. You came here to make a name for yourselves, and you will. We'll make sure your names are in full view of the public eye...because they're gonna be etched onto your tombstones! Blank's face drops as Static tosses the mic down. The Hooligans back up, keeping an eye on The Wildcards, who appear very frustrated with the ballsy tatics of the OAOAST's cocky gangbangers. A staredown ensues as The Hooligans back up the aisle, exchanging words inaudible to the viewing audience, as we fade to commercial. Commercial break The Great Angle Bash~! 25th June, 2006 It'll Be A Yankee Doodle Dandy! COLE Welcome back to OAOAST HeldDOWN~! and as you can see, we're set for our Lumberjack Match, with plenty riding on the line. During our last commercial break, Ned Blanchard and entourage came to the ring and we were 'treated' to a repeat of Ned's chauvanistic ring entrance from last week, which thankfully OAOAST officials decided wasn't suitable to be shown on the air. COACH Copout. COLE As you can see, Ned's Lumberjacks are his long-time friend and tag team partner Simon Singleton, as well as Team Heyross who are of course set to challenge for the World Tag Team Titles at The Great Angle Bash, June 25th live on PPV. Also out here are Mackenzie DeCenzo and of course Jade Rodez, who's relying on a victory by Tyler Bryant tonight to free her from her contract as Ned Blanchard's slave. If not, then...well, let's just say she's agreed to be a slave in every sense of the word to Neddy. COACH Can't wait for that Beverly Hills Production. Yowza! "JUST ONE ON ONE THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT BABY! JUST ONE ON ONE, THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT! JUST ONE ON ONE THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT BABY! JUST ONE ON ONE, THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT!" The crowd (and Jade) pop for the sounds of A1's "First To Believe" and the opening of the entrance doors, to herald the entrance of "Tremendous" Tyler Bryant! Decked in gold washed denim, Tyler strides to the ring, backed up by his partner Shayne Brave and the OAOAST World Tag Team Champions The Heavenly Rockers, looking morbidly embarrassed to be walking to the ring with pop music playing in the background. Not good for the image. The Rock n' Pop conglomeration continue to march on down, with The Blonds and Team Heyross watching on intently. BUFFER And, introducing the opponent...he hails from Auburn Hills, Michigan. Weighing in at two hundred and nine pounds. One half of D*LUX... "TREMENDOUS" TYYYYYYYLLLLEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR BBRRRRRYYYYYAAAAAAAAANNNTT!!!! "YYEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Tyler reaches the ring and slides fearlessly in...and predictably, the foursome in the ring jump in with a barrage of stomps to the boyband superstar. But that only prompts Shayne and The Heavenly Rockers to slide in and as Mackenzie and Jade flee the ring, a pier-eight brawl has broken out in the ring!! "YYEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" *DINGDINGDING!* COLE And it certainly didn't take long for these combustable elements to ignite and explode! The eight men pair off into seperate battles across the ring, Logan and Benjamin, Synth and Moss, Shayne and Singleton and the two men who are actually supposed to be fighting, Ned Blanchard and Tyler Bryant. In a raged state, Tyler pounds away on Ned against the ropes with right hands before sending him off the ropes with a whip. Managing to avoid the other three battles going on, Blanchard hits the opposite ropes and comes back with a shoulder block, knocking Tyler down. A quick bicep pose follows, before Ned hits the ropes again... Leapfrog by Moss! Leapfrog by Synth! Back shoots Ned... Dropdown by Moss, dropdown by Synth, both popping back up and continuing their battle as Ned eventually manages to cross back to the centre of the ring...and predictably, misses his delayed elbow drop! COACH The referee needs to get control here! Ned's having to wrestle three matches at once! Ned clambers up holding his arm, into a scoop and a slam by Tyler. Planting his hands on Ned's chest, The Tremendous One then pushes his feet off the canvas, tucking in and landing a legdrop across the throat of The Handsome Hustler. Still the brawls between the six lumberjacks continue but Tyler's focus is on Ned and Ned alone, as he leaves the ring and climbs up to the top rope. Reaching the top, Tyler stands tall and prepares to dive...until Logan Mann and Quentin Benjamin scuffle into Tyler's way, preventing him from diving. Tyler frantically signals for them to get out of the way but neither Tag Champion nor prospective challenger listen to him, allowing Ned time to drag himself back up and rush the ropes, crotching Tyler on the top turnbuckle! "OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE This is chaos, these Lumberjacks have abandoned their jobs and are taking up their own vendettas in the middle of this match...ah! Finally we've got some referees coming to the ring to seperate these six men. CABOOSE About time. In pile the referees and as they try to break the three brawls up, Ned pulls Tyler's head down and wraps on a front facelock, keeping him sat on the top turnbuckle as he chokes the life out of the well-groomed youngster. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Not that he needs any excuse, but Ned is taking full advantage of this chance to blatantly cheat. COACH How's he cheating? A front facelock's a perfectly legal move. COLE With the forearm over the throat like that!? And with Tyler on the ropes!? COACH He's got until five to break. The Lumberjacks have finally been seperated and are escorted out of the ring by the refs, back out to ringside to do their jobs. Meanwhile in the ring, Ned has climbed the buckles and with the front facelock still on, he tries for a Superplex. Tyler goes to the ribs to block though, landing a succession of jabs to weaken Ned up until he can finally free his head. And once he does, he throws it into Ned's chest! Another headbutt connects to the chest...and a third, sending Blanchard spiralling off the top and hard to the canvas! Bouncing off the mat, Ned rolls away a foot or so, but still in range for Tyler as he again climbs to the top. And this time, there's no-one in the way as he leaps off the top, dropping a big elbow into the chest of one half of the HI-YAH Tag Team Champions! The Heavenly Rockers and Shayne Brave cheer the move, as Tyler makes the pin... 1... 2... Kickout! Tyler comes back up with Ned in toe, ducking behind and dropping him with a quick, spine-jolting atomic drop. Ned clutches his buttocks as he stumbles around the ring aimlessly, while Tyler hits the ropes. Back shoots Tyler, with a full head of steam as he ducks his head with the Jacknife Spe...NO! Ned raises a knee which Tyler ends up charging shoulder first into! COLE Good block there by Ned. We've seen Tyler finish people off with that spear before, but Blanchard had it scouted. Rolling around on the canvas holding his arm Tyler is willed to get back up by his Lumberjacks, but doesn't make it before Ned strolls over and simply stomps down on the right arm. Another stomp finds the mark before Ned reaches down and grabs the wrist, slamming the arm into the canvas. And again. Away rolls Tyler, but Blanchard is right behind him and follows the teeny bopper into the corner. Ned stuns his opponent with a knee as he gets there before pulling him up, lounged in the corner, wrapping the injured right arm around the ropes which incurs the wrath of referee Charles Robinson! "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" "FI... Ned breaks on five and backs up with his best rehearsed look of innocence...allowing Simon Singleton to hop to the apron and tug on the arm, hanging it over the top rope! Simon quickly scuttles back to his corner as Tyler's Lumberjacks storm over, with Robinson able to stop another gang war breaking out, but turning his back on Ned Blanchard as he places a foot over Tyler's throat and tries to choke the life out of him! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Here's the downside to the Lumberjacks. They're out here to prevent wrestlers from leaving the ring, but with all these bodies around the ring it's easy for a referee to get distracted, allowing men like Ned Blanchard time to break the rules. CABOOSE Where the hell did all the other refs go then? COLE Good point. Having broken the choke in time for Robinson to not suspect a thing, Blanchard waits on his opponent to get back up. With the arm draped at his side, Tyler wanders into the waiting Handsome Hustler, who lands a sharp knee to the gut. Ned then grabs the arm and goes back to his (New, New) Midnight Express roots as he takes a page from Bobby Eaton's playbook, dropping with a Divorce Court on the arm! COACH And it doesn't just seperate the shoulder, if divorces it! CABOOSE Lame. 1... Tyler kicks out quickly, so Ned tries again... 1... But again Tyler kicks out. Popping back to his feet, Blanchard takes a backstep and drives the point of the elbow into the sternum. Again. And again. And a fourth time, before making another cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Looking a little frustrated, Ned drags Tyler back off the canvas and goes back to the arm with a simple wring of the limb before applying an equally simple armbar. "TY - LER!" "TY - LER!" "TY - LER!" "TY - LER!" The musical Lumberjacks on Tyler's side get the crowd going with a chant fueled on the opposite side of the ring by Jade Rodez, earning her a glare from Mackenzie. Ned just smirks at the chants at first. But as Tyler begins to draw some strength from the support and climbs to his feet, suddenly Blanchard isn't quite as confident. So he quickly goes to the gut with a knee, cutting both Tyler and the chants of the same name off abruptly. Another wring of the arm from Ned turns into a hammerlock, Blanchard pinning the arm behind Tyler's back as he then steps back in front. A scoop and a slam follows, dropping Tyler's body weight across his arm and earning applause from Singleton and Team Heyross. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COLE Nice Hammerlock Slam by Blanchard. Credit where it's due, despite being a reprehensible human being, Ned is a good wrestler. CABOOSE Easy with the compliments there Mikey, anyone just tuning in would think you were impartial. Blanchard struts around the ring a little before leaning out over the top and blowing a kiss to Jade. This is met with the typical disgust, especially knowing that if Ned wins then blowing kissing will have to turn into blowing...well, you get the point. Knowing that, Ned doesn't posture for too long and goes back on the offence. Scooping Tyler off the canvas, Blanchard whips him off into the corner and follows in with a corner clothesline. Blanchard then clamps up on the arm and runs out, bringing Tyler with him with a bulldog on the arm...which he chains into a Fujiwara armbar! COLE Submission attempt by Ned! With his three Lumberjacks willing him on, Tyler begins an immediate crawl for the ropes. Blanchard tries to dig his feet into the mat to prevent Tyler's movement but the determined youngster continues to claw his way across the canvas, gritting his teeth as he tries to ignore the pain in his arm. "TY - LER!" "TY - LER!" "TY - LER!" "TY - LER!" Ned digs in again, but Tyler is nearing the ropes now, reaching his free left arm out despairingly with a break of the hold just inches away. Blanchard is determined not to let him get there though... ...and so is Simon Singleton, sneakily pulling the ropes away... ...but Robinson spots him and as Simon is forced to release the ropes, Tyler makes a sudden lunge and grabs the bottom strand, forcing Blanchard to break the hold. "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Ned clambers back up and stomps the arm off of the ropes before pulling Tyler up, draping him over the top rope. Singleton and Team Heyross instantly crowd over, with mocking looks or shouts of abuse, as Blanchard shoots off the ropes on the opposite side and drills a knee into the exposed back of Bryant! The boybander collapses back, into a pin by Ned... 1... 2... Kickout! By the hair Tyler is brought back up again and sent off the ropes by Ned. As he shoots back Tyler is caught in the midsection with a right hand, doubling him over as The Handsome Hustler comes in with a Million $ Kneelift. That snaps Tyler's head upwards and leaves him unsteady on his feet as Ned hits the ropes once more, wiping Tyler out with a lunging clothesline, straight into a hook of the leg and a cover... 1... 2... Kickout! COLE A lot of heart shown here by Tyler Bryant. He's not just fighting for himself tonight, he's fighting for his manager Jade Rodez and I'm sure Tyler doesn't want to be responsible for Jade having to cater for Ned's every whim. Ned takes the count up with referee Robinson before being forced into action as Tyler starts to reach his feet, slamming a forearm into the back to keep him at bay. Hitting the ropes in front, Ned then comes back looking for another clothesline...but Tyler ducks it and catches Ned's arm, twisting behind and bringing him down with a quick neckbreaker! "YYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Finally, a little bit of offense from Tyler, who's been in trouble ever since that block on the spear. The World Tag Team Champions rally behind Tyler, Ned's Lumberjacks trying to match it with their own support. Both men take advantage of a quick breather before pulling themselves back up and meeting in the centre of the ring, Tyler having to come with his left hand as he throws a punch. Ned lands one in return with his favoured right side, so Tyler fights through the pain and retaliates with a right hand of his own. Again Ned tries to go to the gut with a knee to break up Tyler's momentum, but The Tremendous One catches it coming and blocks, pulling Ned in by the leg into a backbody drop! TYLER COME OOOOOOON! Mackenzie tries to appeal for some "quiet on the set" but the fans of course don't listen to her and rally behind Tyler, as he transforms himself into an old fashioned house of fire! Off the ropes he comes, landing a clothesline. Ned pops back up, into a second clothesline. And then follows a third clothesline. This time Ned doesn't pinball straight back up which gives Tyler time to exit the ring, heading up top. COLE High risk move coming up. CABOOSE Obviously. Reaching the top, Tyler takes a quick glance out to see if Ned's Lumberjacks are thinking of interfering before soaring off the top with an impressive crossbody, catching Ned walking in... 1... 2... Ned kicks out! Right back up to his feet, Tyler keeps moving as he hits the ropes. Despite reeling from this offensive burst Ned clambers up to meet him, only for Tyler to go through the legs with a baseball slide, reaching up and bringing Ned over with a schoolboy rollup... 1... 2... Kickout! COACH Come Ned, call a timeout, call a cut, go back to your trailer...do something! CABOOSE You do realise that you're depriving some village somewhere of an idiot. Still reeling, Ned walks around and is met with a boot to the gut. Tyler then lands a European uppercut to bring Ned back upright, not enough power behind it to put The Handsome Hustler down but enough to leave him open for a crucifix. Or, so it seems, until Ned powers up and blocks the move, heaving Bryant up and onto his shoulders in a fireman's carry. Ned tuns around the ring looking for a place to drop his opponent. But his dilly-dallying gives Tyler time to land a couple of elbows to the ear, taking away enough of Ned's equilibrium to leave him standing, tumbling off the shoulder and hooking Ned over with a CRUCIFIX BOMB, FOLDING NED ON HIS SHOULDERS... 1... 2... 3 -NO!! NED KICKS OUT!! "OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Oh, so close, so so close! And every nearfall is causing poor Jade Rodez's heart to skip a beat. COACH She should get used to it, because when Ned does his thing, her heart's gonna be skipping so many beats it'll barely be beating at all! Despairingly Tyler asks Robinson for a re-count, but Robinson says no and that it was just a two. So Tyler has to bring Ned back up...and gets a sneaky headbutt right between the legs, which the referee misses! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Tyler doubles over from the nutshot as Ned shakes away some cobwebs, favouring his neck a little as he steps to the side, tumbling in... *SMACK!* ...and connecting with the 90210 Enziguri!! COLE No! Not like this! Jade hides her eyes, unable to watch as with Simon shouting him on Ned crawls over and makes the cover... 1... 2... KICKOUT! "YYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Now it's Ned's turn to question the count again, unable to believe that Tyler kicked out. "TY - LER!" "TY - LER!" "TY - LER!" "TY - LER!" Climbing up, Ned gives a signal to the outside and by no coincidence, Simon Singleton chooses this time to jump to the apron to complain about a slow count. Robinson tries to get Singleton down, but that provides a distraction as Team Heyross sneak in and pull Tyler up, setting for the DOUBLE GOOZLE~!!~!#~1~! ...but The Heavenly Rockers are having none of that and slide in, landing simultaneous tackles to take Moss and Benjamin out of the ring and following them out to the floor! COLE And here we go again with the Lumberjacks!! Logan and Synth take the fight to Moss and Benjamin as Ned, frustrated that his plans have been thwarted, decides to deal with things himself as he pulls Tyler up. On goes the front facelock as Ned walks towards the ropes and lifts the boyband superstar up for the Slingshot Suplex, getting the slingshot...but NOT the suplex, as Shayne Brave leaps to the apron and pushes the legs, causing Tyler to float over to safety! COACH HEY! HEY...SIMON! Slingshotting into the ring beside his partner, Shayne waits on Ned to come in and lands a quick boot to the gut. Shayne then shakes Tyler back to life and with Simon Singleton now protesting to Robinson about double-teaming but still just distracting him, D*LUX team up and land the double gutbuster... COLE The Cowell Movement... *SMACK!* *SMACK!* ...AND A DOUBLE SUPERKICK!! COLE ...Hit Me Baby One More Time... With Ned collapsing slowly to the canvas, Shayne rushes across the ring and dropkicks Simon off the apron before rolling out himself, dragging a gleeful Jade away from Mackenzie by the arm as in the ring, Robinson makes the count... 1... 2... 3!!!!!!!!!! "YYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE YES! YES! JADE'S FREE, JADE'S FREE! COACH NOOOO! Tyler rolls from the ring as Jade leaps into Shayne's arms, ecstatic that her gamble paid off. Rushing over, Tyler joins the happy teen dogpile as Mackenzie stands stunned across the ring, mouth agape, unable to comprehend how everything went so royally wrong. BUFFER Your winner of this contest... "TREMENDOUS" TYLER BRRRYYYAAAAAANNTT!!! And, therefore, Jade Rodez's obligation to be Ned Blanchard's slave IS NO MORE!! "YYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE And thank goodness for that! COACH No way...I wanted to see Jade and Ned get it on! Damnit, do you realise what we've been deprived of by those cheating American Idol wannabees! COLE Yes I do and I for one am glad! CABOOSE You would be. COLE ...okay, commercial please. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted June 16, 2006 Backstage in the locker room area, the backstage announcer to the stars, the man who tells it like it is...or at least holds a microphone up so others can...JOSH MATTHEWS~! is sitting down with the newly crowned HI-YAH Heavyweight Champion, the "Samoan Tsunami" FAQU~! JOSH Faqu, first of all, congratulations on capturing the HI-YAH Heavyweight Championship last week in that exciting cage match with Zack Malibu. FAQU Thank you, Josh. JOSH I have to ask though...do you find the victory to be...bittersweet? FAQU Bittersweet how, Josh? JOSH Well, I mean you and Zack, you've had issues as it pertains to the addition of The Wildcards to the OAOAST. While you won the match cleanly and fairly, not only did you refuse a handshake from Zack at the start of the match, but you refused one after your win as well. Not to mention... FAQU ...not to mention I didn't come to his rescue, right? JOSH Right. FAQU It's like this, Josh. Zack Malibu is a tremendous competitor. A man that has paved the way for all of us to be here doing what we do best. Even in HI-YAH, he took this title that's over my shoulder, and put it on a higher level than it had ever been. He went all around the world, taking on anyone and everyone, stepping up his game and raising the prominence of HI-YAH, which has been a home to me and my partner James Blonde for many years now. However, I didn't agree with a lot of his recent decisions, and I hate to say it like this Josh, but I told him so. We ALL did. Myself, James, Caboose...we all warned him what these guys were about. They're three snakes, waiting to bite, and last week they took that opportunity. We knew it was coming, but either Zack was too blind to see it coming, or he just didn't want to believe he could be wrong. I prefer to think it was the latter, because Zack Malibu is not a stupid man. JOSH So...you're saying by not saving him, it was...tough love? FAQU Sadly, yes, Josh. Was it sickening? Incredibly. Was it hard not running out there and going back through that cage door to save my friend? Incredibly. It's just that...for years, Josh, and you know this as well as anyone, Zack tries to rally for his causes. It can be distracting to those of us working our way up the ranks, because the man is so loyal to this company, we have an obligation to him. To run back in that cage though, Josh, you know why nobody did it? Because it would be like telling Zack we were wrong about him. It would be like giving him a get out of jail free card. He brought The Wildcards upon us, and now, it's come back to haunt him. JOSH It's come back to haunt the company too. They're bound to us, contracted OAOAST superstars. FAQU If that's the case, Josh, then I hope Zack does make it back, because for this to be the end, and have that on his head as his last act...it's a shame. It's a damn shame. Both men look at the floor, a somber mood coming over the interview set, as the scene fades out. We come back to the arena with the HD music fading down, and soon being replaced by the Generic OAOAST Music~! COLE Here he is! From behind the curtain steps none other than the former OAOAST President himself, Bill Watts. Watts walks briskly down the entrance ramp, paying no attention to the crowd, and appearing to have a lot on his mind. COACH Refresh my memory Michael, when was the last time we saw Bill Watts? COLE I believe that was OAOAST Syndicated, Coach. COACH And what happened? COLE He was brutally atta- COACH He was DESTROYED by the most dominant three men in this company Michael! He was DESTROYED! CABOOSE Coach, you’d better shut your mouth right now. COACH Or what? You’re going to beat me up? CABOOSE Yes. COACH Okay then. Watts steps into the ring, and gets straight to the point, grabbing Michael Buffer’s microphone, and bringing it to his lips. “I’M ON A HIGH!” COLE Oh no, this is the last thing we needed tonight. Just as Watts is about to speak, Axel’s music hits, and he makes his way down the ramp, toward Bill Watts, mic in hand himself. AXEL Before you say a word Watts, if you’re thinking of turning down my offer, just consider what this will do to the company you supposedly built. You’re signing the OAOAST’s death certificate if you refuse. WATTS Now listen here you Kangaroo riding bastard! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAHHHH!” WATTS First off, don’t interrupt me. Didn’t your parents teach you manners, or were you too busy trying to get a sneak peak at your sister naked, I hear that’s what you’re into down there! Axel goes crazy at that last comment, his eyes going wide, cussing at Watts, and walking closer to the ring. WATTS Come any closer and I’ll shove this microphone down your throat! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAHHH!” WATTS Now, I’ve just been on the phone with the board, who thought about it, and wanted to inform you, asshole, that the Board ACCEPTS your offer! AXEL You accept? WATTS We accept. AXEL I was hoping you’d say that. WATTS I bet. AXEL Bill, I was hoping you’d say that so I could take this opportunity to introduce you – personally – to my first two team mates. WATTS Oh really? AXEL YA RLY! WATTS NO WAI! AXEL Yeah. In any event, let me introduce to you, you diaper wearing old bastard, and to all these moose mounting Canadians… “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!” AXEL …in Toronto, Canada… “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAHTHATSWHEREWELIVE!” AXEL To my first team mate. A former two-time World Champion. A former Twenty Four Seven Champion. The KING of the Death Match… He hails from Minneapolis, Minnesotta... Torontonians, make some noise, give it up, cheer, love, WORSHIP… HOFF!!!! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAHHHBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!” “Hypnotise” by System of a Down hits, as the crowd go into a frenzy, half of them cheering, half booing, but none of them forgetting the big man, who bursts through the curtain, and plays to the crowd. Hoff walks down the ramp, and meets Axel with a hand slap, the two turning their attention back to Watts. AXEL And my second team mate, another former World Champion, perhaps the fastest rising star in this company’s history, he’s the spiritual leader of this team, the One and Only AngleSault Thread Employee of the YEAR!!!! Ladies and Gentlemen, the man every President wants in his fold, DREEEEEKKK STOOOOONNNNEEEE! COLE Oh give me a break! “Woke up this Morning” blares over the loudspeakers this time, and the crowd shower Drek with – what else? – a hugely negative reaction. Move over Stephen Joseph, you never left your own company for dead, now, did you? Meeting up with the other two and slapping hands, the three men turn to face Bill Watts, and then slowly walk down the ramp. AXEL Like the look of my team so far Bill? How about we give you a little preview of team work in action? I mean, you’ve already been beaten down once, why not endure the pain again? WATTS I was counting on it. AXEL Oh really? Some fight left in ol’ Brokeback Bill ay? WATTS Oh, I know I can’t take three men on my own. So, I thought I’d introduce you to the captain and first team mate of our team. The three former world champions walk up the steel steps and climb through the ropes and into the ring, with Axel on the mic constantly AXEL Enlighten me Bill, I can’t wait. WATTS Oh, you already know them. They were more than happy to be a part of our team. A little help here guys? With that, “Simply Ravishing” hits over the loudspeakers! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAHHH!” Axel, Drek and Hoff stop dead in the ring, turning around only to see none other than Tony Brannigan and Dan Black sprinting to the ring, chairs in hand! As Tony and Dan slide in, the bad guys bail, and regroup on the ramp, still in shock over the arrival of Black T! WATTS Ladies and Gentlemen, meet our captain, Tony Brannigan, and his first team mate, Dan Black! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAHHHHH!” WATTS See you next month, boys! Your team had better be ready, because you can be damn sure ours will be! AXEL Watts, you just made the biggest mistake of your life by accepting our challenge. Don’t worry, we’ll be ready. “I’m on a High” hits, and the heels walk back up the ramp, continually eyeing off Tony, Dan, and Bill Watts in the ring. COLE Oh my god! The challenge has been accepted! Saturday July 29th, OAOAST Syndicated, it will be a Ten Man Captain’s Fall Elimination match, the winners control the Presidency! COACH And look at the stars already involved! Axel, Drek Stone, and Hoff on one side, Black T on the other! There are still five spots to be filled! COLE Battle Royal still to come tonight! I can’t believe this! Commercial break Fade in on the ring, where Mama Said Knock You Out is playing, and Leon Rodez climbs into the ring, joining nineteen other competitors. COLE And we're set for our main event of the evening. A battle royal, twenty men, including that man Leon Rodez, competing for a shot at the OAOAST World championship at the Great Angle Bash! BUFFER LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLadies and gentlemen, the following contest is a twenty-man, over-the-top-rope battle royal! The winner will go on to the Great Angle Bash, with a shot at the Heavyweight championship of the WORLD! Introducing the participants...introducing, CHARLIE MOSS and QUENTIN BENJAMIN, TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAM HEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYRRRRRRRRRRROSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!! *crowd boos as Team Heyross taunts the crowd.* ANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGELUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!! *crowd cheers, as Angelus raises a fist in the air.* RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREJECT!!!!! *crowd boos, as Reject jumps on the buckle and poses with his arms outstretched.* BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEMOTH!!!!! *crowd cheers as Bo raises his hands and yells out to the crowd.* GUNNERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR SHHHHHHHHARPSSSSSSSS!!!!! *crowd boos as Gunner gives the "FU" gesture with his arms.* COLOMBIAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNN HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAT!!!!! *crowd cheers, as Heat throws up the "W".* GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIBRRRRRRRRRRRALTARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!! *crowd boos, as Saint Andrew stands on the buckles and points down at his charge.* JUMBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! *crowd cheers, as Jumbo struts across the ring and raises his hands.* VITAMIN X and CUBAN WALL, the team of BRAINS and BRRRRRRRRRAWWWWWWWWWWNNN!!!!! *crowd boos, as VX and Wall raise their arms in the air.* The MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD CAPPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! *crowd cheers, as Cappa poses on the buckles.* CRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRYSSSSSSSSTALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!! *crowd boos, as Crystal taunts them.* MIKE GUERRIEROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! *crowd cheers, as Mike raises his arms in the air.* CHRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRISSSSSSSSSSTIAN WRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIGHT!!!!! *crowd boos as Wright holds his arms out and spins around.* OTAKUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~!!!!! *crowd pops for Otaku, who raises his arms on the buckles. The camera pans over to Brock looking at him.* BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRUCCCCCCCCCCCCEEE BLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLANK!!!!! *crowd showers Blank with loud boos, as he flexes his muscles.* SSSSSSSSSSSSSPANISHHHHHHHHHHHH FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!! *Fly poses on the buckles and the crowd cheers.* BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROCK AUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSTINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!! *Brock gets a mixture of cheers and boos as he does his dance and raises his hands.* And LLLLLLLLEONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODEZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!! Crowd pops big for Leon, who gets popped from behind by Wright as he poses! *DING DING DING* COACH And this baby's underway! The mass of bodies begin to slug it out, as Charlie Moss joins Christian Wright in double-teaming Leon Rodez. Gibraltar delivers the CHOKEBREAKER~!!!!! to The Mad Cappa, as Moss and Wright attempt to dump Rodez! COLE And Leon could be gone early here! However, Mike Guerriero comes to his aid, hammering Moss from behind. Meanwhile, the massive Gibraltar pitches The Mad Cappa to the floor! COLE We got one gone already! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 1st elimination: The Mad Cappa eliminated: none eliminated by: Gibraltar ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ *instant replay* COACH You can see Gibraltar with the ChokeBreaker first, and then, the elimination is academic! Brock Ausstin nails Gibraltar from behind, and Bohemoth joins in, as the two both hammer Gibraltar! COLE And they're focusing on the big man early! Listen to this crowd! The crowd noise escalates, as Bruce Blank comes off the top and jumps on Gibraltar's back! Brock and Bo back off, as Blank rakes the eyes of Gibraltar! Team Heyross double-teams Colombian Heat in a separate corner, as Spanish Fly delivers a dropkick to Gibraltar, which doesn't even budge him! Gibraltar delivers a big chop to Bo which sends him right to the mat! He then headbutts Reject to the mat! Jumbo gets a running start, and delivers his own dropkick to Gibraltar, but it only sends him into the ropes! COACH Wow, this guy is awesome! A dropkick from a 440-pounder, and he stays on his feet! Fly charges Gibraltar at the ropes and leaps in the air, but Gibraltar catches him by the waist with both hands, and directs him back over the top down to the floor! COLE Look at that! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 2nd elimination: Spanish Fly eliminated: none eliminated by: Gibraltar ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ However, this allows Brock and Bo to come up from behind and position Gibraltar on the ropes Bo grabs both legs, as Brock hooks an arm! COLE And now the big mountain is hanging on for his life! Jumbo jumps in the middle, and Quentin Benjamin ducks under the ropes and grabs the big man by his hair! Otaku charges and splashes into him! COACH And he's still hanging on! Wright flies in with a double axhandle! COLE Another try, with no luck! Leon Rodez backs into the ropes, then runs and jumps into the pile...and FINALLY Gibraltar is sent to the floor!!! COLE And finally, they're able to get the gargantuan out of there! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 3rd elimination: Gibraltar eliminated: Spanish Fly, The Mad Cappa eliminated by: Quentin Benjamin, Bohemoth, Jumbo, Brock Ausstin, Leon Rodez ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COACH The big guy let his guard down, and it allowed Brock and Bo to take advantage! Leon starts to celebrate his feat, but is caught with a big foot to the face from Gunner Sharps! Angelus works over Vitamin X, and plants him with a DDT! Otaku II and Christian Wright do battle on one side of the ring, as Bohemoth attempts to fight off both members of Team Heyross. Jumbo comes over to help out Bo, and they deliver stereo clotheslines to Team Heyross! COLE A little teamwork there from Jumbo and Bohemoth! Jumbo holds up his hands for a high ten, and Bo accepts, then grips Jumbo's hand for a handshake, before pulling him in for a SPINEBUSTER! COACH Ah, but it's only temporary! Gunner Sharps holds back Mike Guerriero, as Crystal lays in chops. Meanwhile, Leon is perched on the ropes by Christian Wright! COLE And Leon could be close here! COACH C'mon, Christian! Push! Rodez goes to the apron and scoots back in, as VX and Wall double-team Angelus, flooring him with a double clothesline, before Colombian Heat interjects and goes to work on VX. COLE Lot of action to call in these battle royals, so just try to bear with us here... Angelus pulls himself up with the ropes, then quickly ducks as Wall charges with a big boot. Wall straddles himself on the top rope, and the STARCROSSER~! sends him to the floor! COLE And the Cuban Wall has been eliminated! So he won't be facing Alfdogg at the Great Angle Bash! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 4th elimination: Cuban Wall eliminated: none eliminated by: Angelus ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COLE Still 15 men to be eliminated, before we find out who will fill the other half of the main event at the Great Angle Bash! Team Heyross delivers a double suplex to Gunner Sharps, as Otaku and Guerriero join forces in attempt to eliminate Crystal! COACH Hang on, baby girl! COLE Bruce Blank delivers a low blow to Otaku, and Crystal is able to slide down, then delivers a GERMAN SUPLEX~! to Guerriero! COLE And a nice suplex there by Crystal! Team Heyross scoop up Gunner once again, and deliver the DOUBLE GOOZLE~! Team Heyross celebrates their feat, then Crystal dropkicks Charlie Moss from behind, sending him over the top to the floor! COLE And one half of Team Heyross is gone! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 5th elimination: Charlie Moss eliminated: none eliminated by: Crystal ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Crystal revives Gunner, and they go to work on Jumbo. Mike Guerriero hammers away on Reject, as Bohemoth stalks Christian Wright, who begs off. COACH Uh-oh! COLE And look at this, former associates possibly ready to go at it here! Wright ducks down in the corner, as Gunner delivers a clothesline to Jumbo. Bo attempts to pull Wright out of the corner, but is jumped from behind by Gunner. COACH Good! Get him, Gunner! Brock tries to eliminate Angelus! COLE And Angelus in trouble at the hands of Brock Ausstin! Angelus struggles, then goes to the eyes to save himself. Crystal attacks Leon Rodez from behind, as Mike Guerriero sets up Reject for the FINAL JUDGMENT~!!! However, Reject slips over the back, spins Guerriero around, and delivers the EULOGY~!!!!!11111 COLE EULOGY by Reject, on Mike Guerriero! COACH Say goodbye, Mike! COLE Goodbye! COACH Not you, stupid! Reject picks up Guerriero and pitches him to the floor! COLE And Mike Guerriero has been eliminated! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 6th elimination: Mike Guerriero eliminated: none eliminated by: Reject ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The camera cuts wide just in time to catch Bohemoth backdropping Gunner Sharps to the floor! COACH Who went out right there? The camera pans to the floor, as Gunner is on one knee looking up at Bo. COACH Aw, man! COLE And Gunner Sharps eliminated! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 7th elimination: Gunner Sharps eliminated: none eliminated by: Bohemoth ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Bo then grabs Wright from behind, and carries him to the ropes! COLE And this could be it for Christian Wright! COACH NO! Hang on, Christian! As Christian lays across the top rope, Brock Ausstin sneaks up from behind and dumps Bo! COACH Phew! Way to go, Brock! COLE And Bohemoth eliminated by Brock Ausstin! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 8th elimination: Bohemoth eliminated: Gibraltar (co), Gunner Sharps eliminated by: Brock Ausstin ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Brock waves goodbye at Bo as the referees attempt to hold Bo back. When he does this, Quentin Benjamin comes up from behind and attempts to toss him out by the back of the head! Brock blocks easily, and stares at Quentin, who has a look of fear in his eye. COACH Oh, Quentin, what were you thinking? Quentin immediately back off, but to no avail, as Brock grabs him and tosses him to the floor! COACH See, you got him mad now! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 9th elimination: Quentin Benjamin eliminated: Gibraltar (co) eliminated by: Brock Ausstin ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Brock then turns his attention to Jumbo, and clotheslines him over to the floor! COLE And the 440-pounder eliminated with ease! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 10th elimination: Jumbo eliminated: Gibraltar (co) eliminated by: Brock Ausstin ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Brock then drills Colombian Heat with a clothesline, before picking him up and setting him up for the F-STUNNER-5~!!!!!11111, sending him all the way down on top of Jumbo! The crowd is starting to get into this! COLE And the fans, surprisingly, seem to be getting behind Brock Ausstin here! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 11th elimination: Colombian Heat eliminated: none eliminated by: Brock Ausstin ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COACH And you know he'd love another crack at Alf! Brock then stands back, as Otaku II backdrops Vitamin X to the floor! COLE And the Lightning Crew comes up empty in the battle royal, Vitamin X eliminated! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 12th elimination: Vitamin X eliminated: none eliminated by: Otaku II ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Otaku II then turns around and stares down Brock, who points at him and starts to talk trash. COACH And you could see Brock say right there, "your turn"! Go get him, Brock! Otaku and Brock meet in mid-ring, and start to exchange blows. Otaku gets the better of the exchange, then whips Brock into the ropes, but Brock comes right back with a clothesline, as each man seems to have their own cheering section in the crowd! COLE Otaku and Brock, bitter rivals going at it, as we're down to eight men in a hurry, thanks to Brock Ausstin! Leon Rodez pounds Bruce Blank in the corner, as Reject and Christian Wright slug it out in another. Angelus works over Crystal, before Blank goes to the eyes of Rodez. He then watches on, as Angelus picks up Crystal and sets her on the top rope, then he moves in and dumps them BOTH to the floor! COLE And Bruce Blank just took it down to six right there Two gone! COACH My girl's out, though! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 13th elimination: Angelus eliminated: Cuban Wall eliminated by: Bruce Blank ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 14th elimination: Crystal eliminated: Charlie Moss eliminated by: Bruce Blank ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Crystal looks up at Bruce, who simply shrugs his shoulders at her...before being met with a dropkick to the back from Leon Rodez and sent to the floor! COLE And now Bruce eliminated! You've got to keep your eyes on the action! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 15th elimination: Bruce Blank eliminated: Angelus, Crystal eliminated by: Leon Rodez ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COACH One of these five, Cole! Either Leon, Brock, Otaku, Christian Wright, or Reject will get a shot at the World title at the Great Angle Bash! Brock has Otaku up in a press slam, and throws him down to the mat, as Wright and Reject scoop Rodez over the top! COLE And Leon in trouble once again! COACH Come on, push, guys! Leon goes to the eyes of Reject, then slides behind the back of Wright and floors him with a dropkick! COACH What a cheater! Brock grabs Leon by the arm from behind, spins him around, and delivers the F-STUNNER-5~!!!!!11111 COACH But Brock makes him pay for his sins! Brock then whips Otaku into the ropes, but puts his head down, and Otaku delivers a foot, sending Brock backwards into the ropes. He then comes in with a spinning wheel kick, knocking Brock over the top to the floor! COACH NO! Not again! COLE And Brock Ausstin is eliminated! We're down to the final four! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 16th elimination: Brock Ausstin eliminated: Gibraltar (co), Bohemoth, Jumbo, Colombian Heat eliminated by: Otaku II ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Final Four: Reject, Christian Wright, Otaku II, Leon Rodez Reject jumps Otaku from behind, as Wright and Rodez slug it out on the other side! Reject whips Otaku hard into a corner, and delivers a dropkick! COLE Great dropkick by Reject right there! Reject then assists Wright, and the two double-team Rodez. They whip Rodez into the ropes, but Rodez ducks a double clothesline, and flies through the air to deliver one of his own! COLE And now Leon starting to get it going! Leon clotheslines Wright to the mat, then ducks a clothesline for Reject...and delivers a jab! COLE Here it comes! Rodez delivers a second jab! A third! A fourth! A fifth! He then turns to the crowd and blows a kiss, before turning back and delivering an enziguri to Reject! COLE MAMA SAID KNOCK YOU OUT! Otaku then moves over and delivers his own enziguri to Christian Wright, then delivers a snap suplex! He then picks Wright up, and holds him in a bearhug as Leon pulls himself to the second rope, and comes off with the ASS PUNCH~! COACH Awww! COLE Leon with the ass punch! Leon sticks his hand out, and Otaku accepts, but Leon delivers a foot to the midsection! Leon then whips Otaku to the ropes, but Otaku ducks a clothesline and delivers a spinning wheel kick! COLE Great kick by Otaku! As Otaku gets to his feet, Wright sneaks up from behind with a low blow! He then jumps up and tosses Leon over the top, but Leon hangs on to the ropes and swings himself back onto the apron! COACH How does he hang on like that? COLE He's a spectacular athlete! Wright sets up Otaku for a suplex next to the ropes, but as he lifts him up, Leon shoves it back over from the apron, as Otaku lands on his feet. As he does, however, Reject catches him with the EULOGY~!!!!!11111 COACH OH YEAH! Otaku has been eulogized! Wright then grabs Leon, but Leon blocks another suplex attempt and suplexes Wright out to the floor! COACH NO, Christian! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 17th elimination: Christian Wright eliminated: none eliminated by: Leon Rodez ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Leon stands up, just in time for Reject to dropkick him off the apron to the floor from behind! COLE And Leon is gone! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 18th elimination: Leon Rodez eliminated: Gibraltar (co), Christian Wright, Bruce Blank eliminated by: Reject ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Reject then grabs Otaku from behind as he struggles to his feet, and pitches him over the top to the floor! COACH YES!!!!! COLE Reject has won it! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 19th elimination: Otaku II eliminated: Vitamin X, Brock Ausstin eliminated by: Reject ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ******************************************************* WINNER: Reject eliminated: Gibraltar (co), Mike Guerriero, Otaku II, Leon Rodez ******************************************************* The referee raises Reject's hand as he's on his knees on the mat. BUFFER The winner of the battle royal...RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREJECT!!!!! COLE And it'll be Reject going to the Great Angle Bash, and what a story, Coach, he'll be facing his former mentor, Alfdogg, for the heavyweight championship of the world! COACH That's right, and I'm sure I'm in the minority, but I think it's high time for a change on top! I think the student will show the teacher something that's not in the teacher's manual, and we'll see a new World champion crowned at the Great Angle Bash! COLE And that does it for a very exciting battle royal, folks! We now know that the main event at the Great Angle Bash will be Alfdogg defending against that man right there, Reject! That does it for us tonight. For Caboose and Coach, I'm Michael Cole saying goodnight from Toronto! Fade to black Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted June 16, 2006 Credits: Adam Bruce Blank Zack Malibu Alfdogg CandyColoredBlues and a late cameo from birthday boy King Cucaracha! ©2006 OAOAST Entertainment. All rights reserved. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
