Job Horror Stories

[Guest AlwaysPissedOff]

Okay, I figured since Justin is doing it on the main site, why not run the same type of discussion here? Hell, I know that there are probably many of us disillusioned smarks who have had a bone to pick with some asshole customer, so LET THE BITCHING COMMENCE!!!!!

[Guest J*ingus]

Various short tales.  

 

 

Working in a bookstore:

 

-I was once asked "Do you have that CD with the shoes on the front?"  

 

-Had a customer insist that with a return done on credit card, that he doesn't sign for his own card, WE'RE supposed to sign it.  Despite the fact that both he and us would be breaking federal law to do so.  Refused to listen to us, insisted that he was right.  

 

-LOTS of returns of opened/used/dog-eared/otherwise worthless products, complete with irate customers who didn't understand why I couldn't hand them cash for their opened CD with stains on the disk which they'd paid for yesterday with a check.  

 

-A manager who was SO into getting her own way that she'd actually force us cashiers to leave the register, which is strictly against store policy, just so we could go out and straighten & stock some shelves.  Except for the time when the district boss was there, of course, which was when I learned it was against store policy in the first place.  She'd watch us over the security camera and call us if she thought we weren't working hard enough.  I quit right before she was going to fire me anyway.  

 

 

Working in a restraunt:

 

-Was a food runner.  Was a DAMN GOOD food runner.  Was often so fast & efficient that I'd get the food to the customers before the lazy-ass servers would get them their soups & salads.  Complaints would then be directed at me, for doing my job like I'm supposed to.  

 

-Once got an eyeful of buffalo wing sauce.  Never do that.  It hurts.  A lot.  

 

-Corporate owners attempted to force an Arbitration Agreement onto us.  Basically we gave up our right to ever sue the company for the rest of our lives, or we were fired.  Myself and half a dozen others immedietly walked out.  

 

 

Working in a movie theater:

 

-Once had a co-employee who liked pranks.  Him calling up the box office from twenty feet away on his tiny cell phone & doing his best Scream impersonation was funny.  Him throwing a bunch of chocolate candies into the popcorn popper, repeatedly, thus ruining a couple of dozen batches of popcorn, was not funny.  

 

-Had a "smart mark" manager who insisted that Sgt. Slaughter was Chyna's father.  

 

-MANY customers who came in with old bags and cups and demanded "refills".  Don't try that one, folks, we all know damn well what you're doing.  

 

-Getting written up for insubordination for quite literally nothing.  It was some guy in a suit who was apparently a bigwig at the corporation who didn't like me for whatever reason.  My managers couldn't explain to me what exactly I had done, even as they were giving me the write-up.  I quit shortly thereafter.  

 

 

Working in an electronics store:

 

-Realizing that the entire job consisted of shilling cell phones and modems to every customer who walked through the door, because we got commissions on those.  

 

-Realizing that my ex-military boss was a sociopath.  Quit politely after only being employed there a week.  Was told "thanks for fucking us over" by said boss.  

 

 

Working for a temp service:

 

-Was put on a job stocking a new store.  They didn't let the workers sit down.  Ever.  Even if the job they were currently doing would've been done easier while sitting down.  Didn't allow smoke breaks.  When I was two minutes late coming back from lunch, they locked me outside for ten minutes until a manager could come bitch at me.  I called in "sick" for the latter half of the assignment.  

 

-Was put into an office as clerical help.  Temp service sent me to said office a week earlier than I was supposed to be there.  They put me to work anyway, but after one day asked that I not come back because I'd filled out AN ENVELOPE incorrectly.  

 

-Service could never find any other office jobs for me, despite knowing Word & Excel and typing 60 wpm.  

 

 

In short, work fucking sucks.

[Guest AlwaysPissedOff]

Damn man... that's some jacked up shit there.

 

Might as well share some of my Wholesale Hell stories...

 

- Had one lady completely bitch me out just because I wouldn't tax exempt her cigarettes because she was buying them for her bosses. The bitch tried to bully me into doing it, I said no, and she went and complained to the door lady who told the manager who talked to me. I set him straight on the whole deal and all is right with the world.

 

- Got screwed out of a Center Section position because a buddy of mine who got the job was screwing a COS who pulled a powerplay on the managers to get him transferred or else she'd go back to being a regular cashier...

 

- Was in a particularly bad mood one day and told an old lady "what the fuck ever" when she bitched on and on about Hepititus B and baby seats.

 

- Had a couple complain about me saying that I wasn't trained properly just because their damned debit card didn't work. To make matters even more silly, the husband told me, "See, you almost lost Sam's 30 dollars.", to which I cheerfully responded with,"Sir, I'm pretty sure that Sam's Club doesn't really care too much about 30 dollars". This causes him to walk off in a huff and his wife asks what my name was. The lady that was behind them told me how hard she was trying not to laugh during the whole ordeal because I instructed them to try it again after it didn't work the first time and they just flat out ignored me...... bitches....

 

- Got cursed out because I wouldn't sell a couple some alcohol on a Sunday(it's against state law).

 

- Had some dumb fucker whine and complain about cigarette upcharge we are instructed to do. He asked to speak to a manager and I pointed one out to him. He gets even more angry when I tell him that we *HAVE* to do the upcharge for ALL non-exempt orders. He flips out some more, his dad claims him down and they walk off. I laugh my ass off after I got to break about 5 minutes later.

 

- Have had NUMEROUS FUCKING CUSTOMERS who have bitched about the most mundane of things like a 13 cent difference in prices(ours constantly fluccuate and new signs are supposed to be made in the early hours before the store opens).

 

- Have been written up numerous times just because I won't shill extended warrenties. I clearly told the managers and COSes, if we don't get a commision, then what's the fucking point?

 

Their answer: "It helps the bottom line, Byron."

 

Me: "And what does it do for anybody who ISN'T a damn manager?"

 

Them: "That's really none of your business, so now take this D-day for inappropriate conduct towards management."

 

I've actually told a few of them to kiss my ass after listening to these shilljobs so much....

 

God I hate Sam's Club....

[Guest TUS_02]

I used to work at this grocery store as the front end bitch, I pretty much did everything except being a cashier.  That was my choice because I don't think I would be a good cashier at all.  I can't stay calm when people are oblivious to the obvious.  One of my favorite (sarcasm) moments working there was when they wanted me to hose off some of the magazine stands that are on the registers (you all know what Im talking about).  That was fine, so I wheeled some of them to the back and hosed them down... I started this at like 9:00pm and was finished 3 or 4 by 11:30pm.  I was schedualed to leave at 11 (which is when the store closes... remember this), but it's not like I was doing anything hard.  So I wheeled it back and started walking out while telling the manager "I'll see ya later"  and she stopped me and said, "Wait, we still have shoppers"  This couldn't have pissed me off anymore, and when Justin was telling his stories, it triggered a relapse of it.  The sad thing was that these people were:

a) Families of 4 or 5 that actually brought their kids shopping at like 11:00 at night

b) Decided to do $200 orders

c) Decided to be EXTREMELY picky about how their shit was bagged.

d) Complained about everything

 

It made me laugh because the store was nice enough to let them in and shop, the LAST thing you should be doing is complaining about anything.

 

The store also has this policy where you need to give them 14 days (2 weeks) if you were going to be away for an extended amount of time.  So I told them THIRTEEN DAYS before I was heading back to school that I was doing so and they were pretty cool about it.  So during the next break, I go back in to ask for some hours and they give me this weird look and tell me I should come in the next day to get said hours.  So I did and the person they told me to talk to was busy, so I shopped around a little bit before THE STORE MANAGER came to me and told me that because I broke store policy the last time, they weren't hiring me back.  I just laughed and walked out and found a better job making more money.  Whatever

[Guest mykatissatan]

I work in a grocery store.

 

Id say a good 80% of customers are old.

 

Sometimes I look around and realize that I am surrounded by people over 80.

 

Being called "HEY" or "sonny" isnt cool, you old hag.

[Guest DrEvil]

You want a lot of Horror Stories, check out Customers Suck.com, tell them evilhomer sent you.

 

For a really funny one go to this post.

[Guest evilhomer]

Who, me?

[Guest Captian Linger]

Okay, I work in a grocery store too and I hate it.

 

Old people: They're every where! It's like Dawn of the Dead when I work mornings. I've even named some of the more memorable regulars:

 

Nightmare Corpse Couple: Two of the most hidiously ugly old people I've ever seen and they come in almost EVERY DAY. They really don't bother me much expect the odd "where's the limes" question and such, which is odd since they're there more days than I am;).

 

The "Incredible" Upsidedown "L": One of the more disfigured cases of...damn, can't think of the proper name of the affliction. He's a hunchback, simple enough. Anyways, the first time I saw him I was scared shitless and still am everytime he's near.

 

Janet "Rhyno" (aka The Loch Mess Monster, aka Messy): Dead ringer for Janet Reno but A LOT BIGGER AND FATTER. Known for frequently voicing complaints about the most asinine things. One of which was complaining about the ladies room being out of hand towels. Fine, but it's an employee restroom, we just are nice enough to let customers use it if they ask. Then they act like they own the freakin' jon or something.

 

-Man, that was funny when some old lady caught me coming out of the ladies room because the men's was occupied;).

 

Women: You! You were in the ladies room!!!

Me: Yes, I was, someone is in the men's...

Women: Who?? Who?? (at this point the exchange of words got confusion and nonsensical)

Me: Uh...Someone.

Women: YOU!!! You were in the ladies room!

Me: Yes, well, I have to be going:).

 

The look on her face was like that of a women confronting her rapist for the first time, years after. She was visably shaking like she was confronting the devil himself.

 

All this just to wash my hands;).

 

Thankfully I didn't have my infernal nametag on and I never saw her again.

 

I don't have a pet name for her but she will always be remembered as BITCH! FUCK YOU FUCKING BITCH!

 

That felt good.

 

Most of the time when customers complain about anything and whatever, I blow them off in a polite manner (it's possible). A bright, geniuine smile combined with sarcastic wit and humor does wonders on middle aged women. You can get away with saying pretty much anything.

 

You just try and be their friends in a souless, contrived manner and it works every time (usually). It also keeps me from wanting to pull a Columbine in there.

[Guest One Bad Apple]

You want a lot of Horror Stories, check out Customers Suck.com, tell them evilhomer sent you.

I went there, and stumbled across this. It's long, so maybe just try to grab the gist of it.

 

A similar experience happened to a co-worker when I was waiting tables at a seafood restaurant one summer. She was sat a table of over 20 people one night right in the middle of the main dining room, and because of the size of the group, it was her only seating for the night. I worked in a nearby station and could see how busy she was with keeping up with them. It was a big family gathering, with a good number of kids needing drink refills every 10 minutes, but she was on top of all their requests with a smile. The patriarch of the family, however, looked miserable for the entire meal, despite the rest of his family enjoying themselves. By the end of the meal and after desserts, the bill was over $400 dollars. The restaurant gave the wait-staff the discretion of adding on a gratuity if we wanted to for tables over eight people, but it wasn’t mandatory. If you felt you gave them good enough service and thought they would tip more than the minimum, you didn’t have to add the gratuity on to the bill. It was a gamble in getting a bigger tip, but as most servers know, you can “read” a table and guess with pretty good accuracy whether they’ll tip well or not. She decided to add on the gratuity because of the perma-frown on the patriarch’s (and bill-payer’s) face. Well, he had a major s**tfit in the middle of restaurant, screaming that the service was horrible, the food was lousy, and that he wouldn’t pay the tip (it came to $75). The members of his family were stunned that he was causing such a scene, and I was surprised he didn’t go into cardiac arrest from his anger and the size of his waistline. A manager ran over to find out what the commotion was and why he refused to pay the tip. His reason for not paying: he had ordered a dinner with a side of pasta, and the pasta was served on a side dish instead of on the main plate. Our manager tried to reason with the man about paying the tip, saying that the waitress didn’t have any other tables and would go home with nothing if he stiffed her. The waitress was standing beside them the entire time, holding back tears and arguing her side of the situation. The customer wouldn’t change his mind, and the (spineless) manager backed down and let the gentleman pay the bill without the tip. She was full-out crying at this point, and stormed back to the kitchen and outside to have a cigarette. The rest of the servers, including myself, and most of the restaurant patrons in that area were in shock over what happened. I don’t know what happened for the rest of the night with her; I think she stormed out shortly after this. I also think some of the waitresses pooled their tips for her afterward (this was a while ago so I don’t remember the details). But the fact that the manager didn’t back her up what an eye-opener and most of the wait-staff held a grudge against him for the rest of the summer. She didn’t work them for long after that; I personally quit before the end of the summer due to other issues with the management.

 

Now ... I know this is off-topic, but do waiters and waitresses bitch about tips so much? They should be lucky they get tips at all. I've worked as a waiter before, and although they're nice, I didn't fucking cry because I didn't get one.

 

Sure, that fat guy seemed like an asshole, but I don't think you really deserve a tip for doing what you're already paid to do. You don't like the money? Quit. Can't find a better job? Too bad, I guess. Usually, if you're not a total failure, you'll get back on your feet.

 

Done.

[Guest J*ingus]

Slow down there, fella.  You've worked as a waiter before, you said.  Where at, and how much did they pay you?  

 

I don't know what the system was in your restaurant, but in most of the ones around here (Waffle House, O'Charleys, Cooker, etc), the servers get paid a whopping $2.13 an hour by the company.  That's right, HALF minimum wage.  They quite literally depend on tips to be able to make a living.  A friend of mine works in the single most expensive restaurant in the region, but still sometimes comes home with less than twenty bucks for a whole night's work due to crappy tipping.  

 

Oh yeah, and restaurant managers suck ass.  I my experience, in any problem with the customer, they ALWAYS side with the customer against their own employees, like in the case above.