KingPK 0 Report post Posted July 14, 2006 The scene abruptly opens with a jet-black limousine slowly pulling into the parking lot, surrounded by dozens of photographers excitedly snapping pictures. Once the car comes to a complete stop, the door immediately swings open and the flashbulbs pop at an even quicker pace. Stepping through the bursting white light is none other than the BattleBowl champion himself. Drek Stone! “YEAAAAHHHHHBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!” With a grin, he allows the photographers to take a few money shots of him standing next to his luxurious vehicle. However, without warning, he simply strides his way through the throngs of people and begins walking towards the ring. DREK If you want some more pictures, you’ll come down to ringside. As Drek confidently makes his way into the arena, the paparazzi immediately rush to follow him, almost as if it was Angelina Jolie or Brad Pitt ready to cut a promo in the ring. Or that baby that they had that no one but the media cared about. But it’s not. It’s Drek Stone. And he’s coming up…..next. Dry those tears, get your head out of the oven and remove that noose from around your neck because HeldDOWN is back on the air! .... HEY, I said take that noose off! We head into the arena in Charlotte, North Carolina where 15,000 strong are on their feet and waiting for another night of great OAOAST action. Over to ringside we go as your favorite bitter WWE employees that would get their asses canned if their parent company ever paid attention to this crap and ready to call the action. COLE Coming off an amazing BattleBowl event last Tuesday night, this is OAOAST HeldDown coming to you LIVE from Charlotte, North Carolina! I’m Michael Cole alongside…. Before Michael Cole can finish his sentence, he is cut off by the booming low-pitch chords of the #1 Contender’s theme song. Woke Up This Morning. Got Yourself A Gun. Mama Always Said You’d Be. The Chosen One. COACH Yes! Starting this show off with a bang! The Charlotte crowd immediately breaks out into a massive mixed reaction as Drek Stone steps onto the top of the ramp with a huge smile. He basks in the glow of this confused Carolinian crowd as he coolly walks down to the ring. COACH Look at him, Cole! He’s already dressing like a champion! Black suit jacket. Blue cashmere shirt. Gold cross around his neck. Silver Rolex watch. And the shiny, never-smudged black shoes to top it all off. He may not be the champion of the OAOAST just yet, but he certainly is the champion of fashion! COLE Coach, this isn’t the Oscars red carpet and you’re not Star Jones. Calm down on the fashion excitement a little. COACH All I’m saying is that Drek is looking faaa-bulous tonight. COLE Creepy. With a microphone already in his hand, Drek steps through the ropes, stands in the center of the ring, and triumphantly slaps his hand against his chest. A burst of golden fireworks erupt from the four corners of the ring as the fans continue to shower Drek with a mixture of cheers and boos. Once the pyrotechnics die down, the BattleBowl champion begins to speak. DREK This has been an excellent week for Italy, hasn’t it? “BOOOOOOOOYEAHHHHHHHBOOOOOOOOO!!” DREK Indeed, it has. First off, I have to give huge congratulations to the Italian soccer team that won the World Cup against France last Sunday in an extraordinary game. From the second this team stepped onto the field to begin the tournament, I knew they would go far. They withstood all the obstacles thrown their way. The competition was tough, yes, but they overcame every team in their way. The United States. Germany. France. They struggled through the ridiculously cheap and disgusting headbutts. They battled through the fatigue, the blood, the sweat, and the tears. They kept fighting and scratching until they could call themselves champions. These Italian men are figures that need to be saluted and respected by people all over the world. Drek takes a pause before making his point. DREK But I would be mistaken if I didn’t bring up another Italian that deserves even more credit. COLE Oh, here we go. COACH Wait, wait. Let’s see where he’s going with this. COLE Yeah, right. I wouldn’t hold my breath for a surprise twist. DREK Last Tuesday, this man walked right into his hometown of New York City. He walked into the most famous arena in the world – Madison Square Garden. On the 230th birthday of this great country, this man wrestled not one but TWO matches. In the first match, he took his tag team partner – some no-name scrub named Otaku – and carried him to victory. In his second match, he stood triumphant against fifteen other guys in a vicious battle royal to determine the AngleSlam top contender. And now he’s standing before you now. Once again, just as he has done before, he is standing on the cusp of history. Just as Fabio Cannavaro lifted the World Cup high over his head and celebrated….at AngleSlam, this man is going to take the prestigious Heavyweight Title and hold it high over his head as well. Yes, let’s give it up for THE premier Italian athlete in the world. Your hero Drek Stone! Once again, a MASSIVE mixed reaction of cheers and jeers explode from the Charlotte crowd as Drek arrogantly waves to the crowd with a conceited smirk on his face. DREK Thank you very much! Now, I could stand here now and throw a lot of “I-told-you-so’s.” I told you all I didn’t lose a step. I told you all that I was back in the OAOAST for the long haul and not just some mere novelty tour. I told you that the alliance between myself, Hoff, and Axel was for real. I could sit in this ring for hours and gloat if I wanted to. Hell, let me go further. I could stand here and talk about how, after more than a year of sitting complacent, I once again have this federation trapped in my grasp. How, at Syndicated, the three of us are going to win all the power and control the OAOAST the way we want. How, at AngleSlam, I’m going to bring the Heavyweight Title back around my waist. How I’m going to hold the very symbol of this federation in my hands and how, if I wanted, I could choke this federation and bring it down to its knees. I’ll have the title belt. I’ll have the control. I’ll have the power to do WHAT I WANT whenever I want. Hoff, Axel, and I will be able to send this federation CRUMBLING if we want. No more contracts. No more HeldDowns. No more Pay-Per-Views. No more video games. No more action figures. No more merchandise. No more money. No. More. Wrestling. We could close shop permanently and no one would have the power to do anything else. I could sit here and brag and gloat about all that. But…I’m not going to. Not tonight. Because tonight is not a speech of revenge or malice. It’s a speech of celebration. COACH Hear that? A speech of celebration! Party-time! COLE ….oh God, what if Drek Stone and his partners actually could do that? DREK Yes, it’s about celebration. Because BattleBowl was only the beginning. BattleBowl was just the first stop on the road to AngleSlam. A road paved with Stone. Alfdogg might be an impressive champion. He might have defended his belt successfully against anybody pitted against him. Peter Knight several times. Reject several times. But these men don’t hold a candle to me. They don’t COMPARE to me. And no matter how many Five Star Alf Splashes he throws and no matter how many nachos he shoves down his throat, Alfdogg does not hold a candle to me. He’s been a fighting champ, sure. But the only reason he’s been champion so long is because I haven’t challenged him before. He’s keeping the belt warm for me. That’s all. And at AngleSlam, I’m going to take the belt that I’ve been missing for a year and a half. Alfdogg?! He ain’t even an obstacle. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” It’s obvious the Charlotte fans don’t appreciate the absolute lack of respect Drek Stone is showing for the Heavyweight Champion. DREK Oh, he’s not. Look at my last title run. I won the title in an Elimination Chamber against Crystal, Sly Sommers, Ragdoll, Chris Stevens, and my buddy Axel. I defended the title successfully against Crystal. Against Ragdoll. Against AJ Flaire in an I-Quit match. Against my pal Hoff not once but twice. The competition was fierce and I handled all of it. So NOW…I’m supposed to be afraid of Alfdogg?! I’m supposed to be afraid of a man who’s claim to fame is being CWM’s whipping boy? A man who’s claim to fame is plummeting buyrates and the WDW Title?! Hey, I’m not saying he hasn’t been a cute little champion in his own right. But he’s not a superstar like me. He doesn’t have a FRACTION of the strength or the speed or the skill that I have. And at AngleSlam, I’m going to step in there. Play around with him a little. Prove definitively exactly who the better athlete is. And walk out with my head held high and the gold belt accessorizing the gold cross around my neck. Alfdogg?! Don’t make me laugh. Drek is suddenly interrupted by Magnum Opus blasting over the loudspeakers and Alfdogg stepping out to a huge ovation from the Charlotte crowd. With a scowl on his face, a microphone in his hand, and the Heavyweight belt around his waist, Alf takes no time to spare to address his AngleSlam opponent. ALFDOGG You got this all figured out now, don’t you? You’re going to waltz right into AngleSlam, take the title from me, and I’m not going to be able to do a damn thing to stop it. Is that right? Did I get your general message? Laughing lightly to himself, Drek nods his head. DREK Yeah, that’s pretty much it. ALFDOGG That’s pretty cute. My cousin Vinny over here thinks he’s going to be able to take me down. He thinks he’s going to be able to do what nobody has been able to do in the past four months. Drek, let me make something clear to you right now. I don’t lay down for ANYBODY. And as easy as you think this match is going to be, I can guarantee you that no match you have ever fought will be as tough or as grueling as the one you’ll be getting from me at AngleSlam. Because this is about more than just the Heavyweight Title. This is about respect. You, Hoff, and Axel don’t respect the OAOAST. You don’t respect this federation, you don’t respect the guys who compete in it, and you sure as hell don’t respect the history behind it. You three come and go as you please, trying to corruptly seize power from those who have earned it. You walk around with an unbelievable sense of arrogance and think the people here OWE YOU SOMETHING! Suddenly, Drek is not smiling quite so much anymore. ALFDOGG Well, nobody here owes you a god damn thing! Everything’s been going your way so far since you guys made your return, but that streak stops here. I’m not scared of your accomplishments. I’m not scared of your little buddies standing behind you. And I’m not scared of this unbeatable aura you try to surround yourself with. Drek, I am not scared of you. You’re just another name that I’m going to prove myself to. You and Hoff and Axel can do whatever you want. If you guys happen to win control of the federation, you can make any rules for this match that you want. Steel cage. Stairway to Hell. Ladder. No-Holds-Barred. Make it a Drek-Stone-Must-Win match. Do whatever you want because it doesn’t matter. I’m walking into AngleSlam as the Heavyweight Champion. And I’m walking out as the Heavyweight Champion. And try as you might, wish all you want, brag until your face turns blue…it won’t change anything. You’re not the invincible superpower you think you are. And I’m going to prove that to everybody. With a scowl, Drek simply nods his head. DREK We’ll see about that. ALFDOGG Oh, we will. And while I’m out here, I just want to address one more thing. DREK Request denied. Get out of here. ALFDOGG Yeah, okay. Drek, you don’t have any power yet. I’ve already noticed that you’re out here tonight talking as if you’ve already won power of the OAOAST. Well, my friend, Syndicated is still a couple of weeks. A lot of things can happen in a few weeks. A lot of things can change. Why, certain people could join certain teams, if you know what I mean. DREK ….. ALFDOGG I’ve seen the teams so far. Drek Stone, Hoff, and Axel on one side. Two more partners to go. And Tony Brannigan, Dan Black, and Bill Watts on the other side. Two more partners to go. Well, make that one less partner. Because, as of now, I am OFFICIALLY joining Bill Watts’s team for the Ten Man match at Syndicated! “YEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!” COLE WOW! COACH Oh my God. Alfdogg just made one of the biggest errors of his career. And Drek Stone is livid! You’re damn right Drek Stone is livid. He slams his hands against the top turnbuckle and kicks the bottom rope, furious that Alf would dare intercede himself on a situation he has no right to be in. DREK FINE, ALF! THAT’S YOUR MISTAKE! I’ll see you at Syndicated! You’re going to see FIRST-HAND exactly HOW I do business. ALF Believe me, I can’t wait. Magnum Opus plays over the loudspeakers once again as Alf drops the microphone to his feet and stares intensely into the ring. Refusing to divert his glaze, Drek locks eyes with the Heavyweight Champion. The hatred between the two that has instantly brewed in the past few minutes can be sensed immediately as they stare at one another with unwavering looks. COLE Drek Stone vs. Alfdogg at AngleSlam for the first time ever! That is going to be a hell of a Main Event. COACH But in just as big news, Alf has entered himself into the Ten Man tag at Syndicated! Drek and Alf will be in the same ring together in only a few weeks time. COLE It seems like this road paved with stone is going to be a bumpy ride indeed! COACH Yeah, how long did it take you to come up with that one? COLE (Ignoring Coach, as usual) We've got plenty of action for you this week, including The Hooligans defending their Six-Man tag team titles against the Triple Threat and the Heavenly Rockers defending their OAOAST Tag Team titles against Stephen Joseph and Tha Puerto Rican. We're about ready for our opening contest, but let's take an oddly placed commercial break first. Commercial break We return from the break and see that Belial and the rest of Satan’s Foot Soldiers are already there and that the viewing audience has missed all but a few notes of Infector’s "Lightbringer" COACH As you can see, Belial is already in the ring spreading his EVIL~! Message to everyone COLE He looks ready to do many EVIL~! Things tonight, none more so than inflicting his thoughts on the devil’s place in our every day COACH I don’t understand why the S.I.T. aren’t out here stopping this, I half way expected it. COLE You expected the Span COACH DON’T SAY IT!! The EVIL~! Belial paces back and forth in the ring, impatiently awaiting the arrival of his opponent. "God is God" by Laibach tells everyone that OAOAST has once again imported the ultra talented Dark Predator to the United States COLE You know he should be RECRUITING this guy and not fighting him. COACH You think Dark Predator is EVIL~! Enough for a guy like Belial? The Dark Predator sure looks the part as he emerges from the smoke, skull topped staff in hand looking every part the dark beast as he heads to the ring for his OAOAST HeldDOWN debut. Once the Predator is inside the ring he casts the hood on his robe back revealing the elaborately decorated black mask with green Mohawk that’s made him the envy of Mexico MICHAEL BUFFER And his opponent, hailing from HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELL!! And standing here at 5’9’’ and 164 pounds of pure monster, HI-GATE’S DARK SON THE DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARK PREDATOOOOOOOOOORR!! COLE It seems that a few fans remember the Dark Predator from our Syndicated show, he had a great match with Ultra Shago COACH Yeah, yeah fought Papa Shango we all remember it COLE Yeah I can tell. *DING*DING* The bell ring and Belial immediately shows off his EVIL~! ways by attacking the Dark Predator as the HI-GATE superstar is still limbering up in the corner. Predator swiftly ducks under the oncoming assault of the much slower Belial, then he bounces off the ropes on the opposite corner trying to hit a twisting arm drag on Belial. The Foot Soldier stands his ground though and twists the Dark Predator around so that he has him in a wheelbarrow suplex position raising the smaller man up into the air. COLE Oh I wouldn’t do that ¤BAM!¤ Dark Predator turns the lift up into a Bulldog on his opponent as he drops Belial to the ground hard and then quickly kips up much to the approval of the fans in the arena. Belial is only momentarily stunned by the move and quickly gets back to his feet. He notices his opponent coming at him full speed, ducks down and throws Dark Predator up in the air with a back drop COACH HOLY NIZZIES!! Dark Predator just flipped round and landed on his feet COLE Belial didn’t see it, he’s walking right into a SUPA-KICK~!! The black boot nails Belial square on his EVIL~! jaw and knocks the bad man backwards into the ropes before falling forward to the mat. Dark Predator points to the top rope, drawing a pop as he crawls up the turnbuckles and then walks down the top rope like it was a stroll down any side walk. COLE OH COME ON!! You mean to tell me that the referee did not see Mephisto reach up and push the top rope? COACH Well that’s the first thing he’s done RIGHT in forever! COLE Even though it’s illegal? COACH Especially! Belial joins his two partners in EVIL~! on the floor to discuss a new game plan, hopefully one that doesn’t involve Belial getting his ass kicked, but let’s be honest most of the gameplans for Belial involves him getting his ass handed to him. Just to show that tonight is really no different Dark Predator climbs the ropes and then leaps off backwards in a stunning high elevation Moonsault that strikes all THREE Members of Satan’s Foot Soldiers and knocks them into the guard rail. YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!! COACH Man he got some AMAZING height on that COLE And he took out all three members of the Foot Soldiers, not bad at all. Dark Predator slides under the bottom rope and then demonstrates his amazing stamina by once again running at the ropes, bouncing off for greater speed and then in a breath taking display of daring and insanity does a handstand flip into a leap OVER THE TOP ROPE onto Belial who had just gotten back on his feet COLE SPACE TIGER DROP!! COACH Oh you call every move that, you probably don’t even know what that is really called. The Dark Predator grabs Belial by the hair and shirt and throws him inside the ring before leaping up on the apron and then climbing the ropes, raising a hand in the air as he waits for Belial to get to his feet and in the right position. With Belial obliging Dark Predator’s wishes the man from Japan leaps off the top rope, locks his legs around Belial’s neck and takes the bigger man down with a twisting huracanrana that sends Belial skidding across the canvas. COACH SPACE TIGER DROP HOLY SHIT!! COLE Oh very funny Coach, just because you don’t know most of Dark Predator’s moves. COACH Oh and another Space Tiger Drop right to the chest COLE That was a chop. The Dark Predator hooks Belial in a front face lock and then grabs a handful of tights ready to lift his opponent into the air, maybe even looking for his finishing combo. But Predator’s plans are destroyed as Belial manages to put a hand on the top rope and break up the Brain Buster attempt before he even gets him up in the air. Predator settles for a knee to Belial’s gut before whipping him into the corner COACH Holy damn it’s a virtual cornucopia of Space Tiger Drops here tonight. COLE *Sigh* Where is Caboose? Can we get Caboose back please? Predator runs at Belial, leaping into the air for a splash in the corner, but ends up eating nothing but turnbuckle when the EVIL~! One moves out of the way. Belial is still rattled by the flurry of offence from Dark Predator, allowing his opponent a moment to breathe before he attacks him. Belial goes for a clothesline but the Predator ducks under it and flips up into a Cristo flying head scissors only to flip around the front of Belial once more confusing the big man with his swift actions before hooking Belial’s arm with his own, swing around his back and then lock his legs around Belial’s other arm. COLE Standing Abdominal Stretch! COACH Wait, wait, wait I’m still 3 moves behind here COLE By the looks of it so is Belial. Belial manages to break the hold by prying Predator’s legs apart and then swing him around in front of him again hoping to slam him. The slam is blocked as the Dark Predator swings up on his opponents shoulder and locks a leg over the back of Belial’s neck forcing the big man into a very, very painful looking Octopus style submission hold that requires Belial to carry Dark Predator’s weight as well as his own. COACH Space Ti. . . alright I have NO clue what to call that. The crowd’s attention is diverted from the ring as they see Bruce Blank come running down the aisle with a barbwire baseball bat in his hand and an angry expression on his face COLE He’s not scheduled for this match is he? COACH No he’s not - what the hell is he up to? Bruce slides under the bottom rope and before either man even has a chance to see the intruder Bruce drives the barbwire wrapped bat into the back of the Dark Predator, thus breaking the hold on Belial and dropping to the floor like a sack of potatoes. Bruce strikes the man from Japan once more just to make sure that he stays down as Belial finally realizes what’s going on. Bruce turns and looks at Belial who just stands there and grins in his delightfully EVIL~! way while looking straight at Bruce. The Wildcarder returns the grin, then holds up his right hand for Belial to shake COLE Okay if he’s recruiting the Satan’s Foot Soldiers then he’s more desperate than I thought COACH Oh he’s desperate alright, he knows that the Wildcards can’t take on all of the OAOAST, he’s out here to make allies. The second Belial shakes Bruce’s hand he proves Coach wrong on every level as he strikes Satan’s Foot Soldier right between the eyes with the top of the baseball bat and then lays in a couple of blows to Belial’s back with a sickening thud. COLE What is HIS problem? Bruce makes sure that the Dark Predator isn’t getting away by knocking him back into the corner with a big boot that drives the heel of his cowboy boot square into the Japanese superstar’s jaw. Then he turns his attention back to the EVIL~! One, whom he picks up and presses over his head, Gorilla Press style! After holding the 230 pound Foot Soldier up there for a moment he takes a step forward and throws the hapless Belial over the top rope into the arms of Asmodai and Mephisto knocking all three of them down. COACH Okay so you can take out the Foot Soldiers, big deal - you couldn’t take the Hooligans so now you’re cruising for easy victims?? COLE I’m not sure that’s why he’s out here COACH Oh of course it is. Bruce gets on one knee next to the Dark Predator and then quickly pulls his mask back to have a good look at his face. Once he’s satisfied he pulls the mask back in place, gets up and exits the ring with an angry scowl on his face COACH That’s it? He’s just going to walk away? COLE WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT ALL ABOUT? COACH I don’t know, but we WERE spared any more action from Satan’s Foot Soldiers, so we’ve got that going for us. *CUT* Pyromaniac is seen in the arena parking lot attempting to get in the building. Security Guard: Excuse me, this entrance is for OAOST personnel only. Please use the main gate. Pyromaniac: It just so happens that I am an employee. Look up Pyromaniac. The guard checks his list. Guard: Sorry, you’re not on the list. Pyro: You sure? I think you should take another look. Guard: I looked. No Powermaniac. Pyro: PYROmaniac! Guard: Yeah whatever. Please remove yourself before I have to call for backup. Pyro: Look, maybe I’m listed under my real name. Patrick Goldrich. Guard: I’m gonna need to see some ID. Pyro pulls out his wallet but can’t seem to find it. Guard: Sir? Pyro: I must have misplaced it. Look, I have a $20 for you if you let me in. Guard: Thanks (accepts the bill), but I still can’t let you in. Pyro: Can I at least have my money back? Guard: Please remove yourself before I have you arrested. Pyro: Fine, you win this round, but before I go, I’m gonna give you one last ... Pyro charges the guard only to get beaten down. Guard: Wow Pornomaniac, you must be one horrible wrestler if you can’t even get past me. Pyro: Pretty much. Guard: Here, let me help you up. Pyro: No, I’ll crawl away on my own. He does. Commercial break Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted July 14, 2006 COLE Later tonight, Bohemoth teams with NRG and earlier in the week we caught up with the trio preparing for their match at a local gym. Let's go to that footage right now. *STAR-WIPE~!* From the darkness of a late night open air floor outside of what seems to be a gymnasium, we pan slowly up past the chipwood and the leaves and slowly up to the body of The Meterosexual Monster, Bohemoth. Clad in some untypical warm-up gear and sweating slightly from his workout, Bo still rocks the orange tinter sunglasses to remind us all that he's styling. Sat on a chair in the middle of what looks like chipwood, Bohemoth remains stoic. In the background, Biff Atlas and Flex Phillips stand with their backs to the camera, facing into the bushes and chatting amongst themselves. BOHEMOTH I don't do this promo shtick often. It's late and I'm tired and I don't wanna screw up, so, here goes. At The Great America...ah, SHIT! Bohemoth promptly stands up and storms out of camera shot. Attention caught by the language, Biff and Flex turn their heads around and eventually stroll over, watching on curiously. VOICE (off screen) Oh hey Bo, how's things go... *OOOOF!* VOICE (off screen) ...UUGGGGHHH! OH GOD!! MY SPLEEN!!! BIFF Ouch. FLEX That's gonna smart. BIFF No doubt. (looks down) I think I peed on me a little. FLEX I pissed on myself a little bit too. But that's okay, because you know what, we still rock! BIFF That's right...and you know what else we do? Flex looks curious. BIFF We roll. FLEX We roll, damn right we do. You know what else we do? We wrestle! And I guess this camera here means we're supposed to talk about wrestling. This Thursday, we're gonna be facing The South Central Ass-Kissers and that intillectuwhore, Christian Wright. BIFF That's right. You know what we're gonna do to them? You know what The Biff is gonna do... *CLANG!* Fired up, Biff kicks Bohemoth's discarded chair away. FLEX We're gonna kick them like chairs! BIFF Frikkin' are...we frrriiikin' are! FLEX That's a fact. Marcellus Wallace ..... Vincent Ford ..... hahaha... I forgot who we were wrestling there for a moment, I completely forgot their names, but it doesn't matter because we're gonna beat them anyway. It's two gansters, right? BIFF I think so. I'm not quite sure. FLEX (looking off camera) Hey, come back here. BIFF C'mon. FLEX Come back in here, we'll show you how this is done. Footsteps can be heard as Bohemoth, newly cooled down, strolls back into camera shot with his hands on his hips. BOHEMOTH I know how it's done. FLEX Alright give it a try, we'll listen and see how you do. BIFF You need some pointers, you gonna be alright? I'm pretty over with my promos. I could teach you a few things. BOHEMOTH I'm fine. (to camera) At the Great American Ba...FUCK IT!! Bohemoth again snaps, but this time NRG calm him down, grabbing his chair back and sitting him down. FLEX Okay calm down man, you've gotta breathe. You've gotta relax. Let it flow. Let it flow. It's in your blood... BOHEMOTH Why do I smell piss? FLEX Uh...I, well...we were peeing, over there. BIFF It's probably on my pants. FLEX It's okay though. It's natural, it's human nature. BIFF It's man juice. Just like promos, natural. FLEX Okay, come on let's do this...when are we talking about here? You remember? BOHEMOTH The Great Angle Bash. FLEX That's good. BIFF You're already a step ahead of us big guy. BOHEMOTH At The Bash, you out-smarted me Christian. I expected a wrestling match, you turned it into a beatdown. Thursday night on HeldDOWN~!, I won't make the same mistake. It won't be 3 on 1. It'll be 3 on 3. And Thursday night, I'm going to do what I planned to do at The Bash. Erotic Awakening, 1, 2, 3. It's as simple as that. Bo stands up and cooly leaves, as NRG look on with pride, for some reason. BIFF Okay, The Biff likes it. FLEX Mmmm. Very simplistic, I like it. Very simplistic, to the point. BIFF Yeah, it needs some work though. It probably should have been a little more like this. (feigns putting sunglasses on) Christian Wright you're a punk bitch! You cheated, you stole the match away from me you intillectuwhore! You know, next time we get in the ring it's your ass. Your ass is grass and you know what, Bohemoth, he's gonna beat you, he's gonna beat you 1, 2, 3 and then he's gonna dance all over your face! And you know what, if he needs to pee, he's gonna pee right on you. FLEX YES! BIFF He might even get a little on his leg, but you know what Christian that's okay, because it's natural. FLEX And Militia Hippies, don't think you're going to get away without an NRG Burst neither. We're gonna beat you...3, 2, 1..NO!, not 3, 2, 1, but 1, 2, 3! BIFF 1, 2, 3, why is everybody peeing on me? NRG smile in satisfaction, Flex flexing his muscles... BOHEMOTH Man, you two are dorks. ...until Bohemoth kills the moment, strolling the rest of the way off back towards the gym, as NRG watch on incredulously. FLEX Like his promos are any better. BIFF Phff, yeah. You know what, screw this, The Biff is gonna go get his press-ups on. Biff Pose: Adonis! Biff hits his "Adonis" pose, which is basically a generic bodybuilder pose. FLEX Yeah let's go, I've got an NRG Apple Grapple power-bar waiting with my name on it. Literally, seeing as I own the copyright. With handtags and backslaps all round, NRG walks off towards the gym as we fade to leaves, then to black. *ANTI-STAR-WIPE~!* COLE Bohemoth's right, those two are pretty dorky. COACH You're just threatened by them because they're athletic. Athletic people scare you, don't they Michael? Bad time in high school, huh? You want to talk about it? I hear it helps to share. COLE ...Bohemoth and NRG up against The South Central Militia and Christian Wright later on tonight. --------------------------------- RODEZ But first, I guess I'm going to have to get over that 'not wanting to fight women' thing, because for those of you who aren't aware, I issued an Open Challenge to this 24/7 Championship last Sunday night. Well...actually, it was more like Monday morning. Either way, Open Challenge. So that's male, female, cross-breed, whatever. Whatever the wrestling world can throw at me, I'm determined to take it. So, somebody hit some sort of music, wheel me an opponent out here and let's stop before I run out of things to say. .:CUE: The Theme From Star Trek:. COLE ...wait, what? The crowd, understandably, go MILD~! as confusion hovers over the arena. Leon looks around as if to ask 'what the hell is going on?', as a few seconds of out of place musical interlude pass. Eventually, the entrance doors do slide open and all eyes fix on the entrance way...as a skinny looking figure steps through the curtains. A skinny looking figure that's kitted out in full Trekkie gear. The uniform, the badge, even the Spock ears. Oh, and an eyebrow painted over his actual right eyebrow. ------------------------------------- THE SPOCK FINALLY... THE SPOCK... HAS BEAMED BACK, TO PLANET EARTH!! *crickets chirping* Hand on chin, Rodez tries to hide his laughter with a feigned look of interest. Pacing around the ring, The Spock gives the fans time to stop groaning before shooting the Vulcan Eyebrow! Leon can barely keep his laughter in check now, either for the content or the terrible wardrobe job. ------------------------------------- RODEZ Woah woah hold up a second here...are you sure you're in the right place, buddy? Incase you weren't aware, this isn't the Sci-Fi Channel. We're on TSM. And granted, our core audience is made up of dateless nerds as well, but there is a big difference...somewhere. COACH Man TSM is so burned. ------------------------------------- Pulling Rodez back up, The Spock looks for another irish whip. This time Leon has an answer to the move though and twists underneath the arm, pulling The Spock in, lifting him up and hitting an Inverted Atomic Drop! The Spock hops around holding his little Klingons as Leon now backs off the ropes, building up a head of steam as he charges in...and skids to a halt, as The Spock pulls the old 'hold your hands up and scream stop' trick. Still hurting, The Spock quickly reaches into his pocket and pulls out a...uhm, I forget what it's called. I don't actually watch Star Trek see and I'm certainly not doing research. I think it's a phaser or something. Anyway, whatever it is, The Spock holds it to his chest and prepares to beam himself up... ...and nothing happens. COLE Just when things couldn't get more ridiculous. ------------------------------------- With The Spock down, Rodez calls for the end. A handful of the hair helps Leon to drag The Spock up and keep him controlled as he turns back to back with him. Crouching down, Rodez then sets and hoists The Spock up onto his back, turns and sits out with the Backpack Stunner! COLE Banana Hammock! That's what beat Crystal. 1... 2... 3!! COLE And it beats...The Spock!? COLE Well, that was a little edited recap of the first ever Leon Rodez 24/7 Open Challenge from two weeks ago, which hasn't been given a catchier name yet unfortunately. Equally unfortunate, tonight sees week 2 of the Challenge. And if that footage was anything to go by, we're in for another 'interesting' 'match' here tonight. Why anyone thought The Spock was a good idea, I really don't know. COACH Why didn't a certain other company didn't think of it first, that's a better question if you ask me. COLE Well, they've other things on their mind. *GOOOOONG!* "YYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" "C'mon man" "DON'T CALL IT A COMEBACK..." The oh-so familiar and welcomed sounds of "Mama Said Knock You Out" by LL Cool J sound out through the arena and bring the fans to their feet, as Leon Rodez emerges into the orange and black world of OAOAST HeldDOWN~! with a jig in his step. Wearing the 24/7 Championship around his waist, Leon is joined on his walk to the ring by Charles Robinson, who is getting a recap of what Leon needs from him during this Open Challenge. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the ring the OAOAST 24/7 Champion... "SILKY SMOOTH"... LLLEEEEOOOONN RRROOOOOOODDEEEEEZZZZZZZ!!! "YYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Rodez jogs up the ring steps, stopping halfway to flash a toothy grin to his adoring fans before hopping into the ring and accepting the microphone from Michael Buffer. Knowing his place, Buffer quickly leaves. Knowing his place, Charles Robinson disappears into the obscurity of a neutral corner. And knowing his place, Leon removes his 24/7 Title to display his washboard abs to the world. "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" RODEZ Okay, quiet time now. On cue, the sheep cease bleating on Leon's request. RODEZ Thank you for that warm reception, always a pleasure. It's an even bigger pleasure for me tonight though, because unfortunately I've been feeling a little glum this past two weeks and a bit...mainly because they cancelled HeldDOWN~! last week and I didn't get paid. COACH Preaching to the choir, buddy. COLE Holla. COACH ...bastard. RODEZ But far beyond the pain of missing one, relatively small T.V payday is the other potential payday I'm going to miss out on, August 29th at AngleSlam. Leon hangs his head for a moment as a few fans show him some sympathy. RODEZ As I'm sure you're all aware, BattleBowl is this neat little concept show where Maria and Gene Okerlund pick people to team with each other at random. They then compete in 8 tag team matches, with the winners advancing to a 16 man battle royal to crown the number one contender to the World Title at the second biggest show of the year. Only in professional wrestling. Being paired off with Mister Warrior may not be everybody's idea of a good time, but I came through the tag match unscathed and I was one battle royal away from becoming the number one contender. And then, I was ten men away. Then five. And then, just like last year, I got to the final two...and just like last year, I got dumped out right at the end. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" RODEZ Yeah, that's what I said. COLE That's what we all said once Drek won. COACH Not me! RODEZ Now, a less resiliant man would have come out on the very next HeldDOWN, looked around at an empty arena and realised that the show had been cancelled, went back to his hotel, waited for one more week, came out and finally after two weeks of stewing would proceed to cry their eyes out about how it's JUST. NOT. FAIR!! But a real man, like me, would do that within the confines of his rental car... A few laughs go up, until the look on Leon's face indicates he might not actually be joking. RODEZ ...and then he'd do something about it. Last year, Hoff. This year, Drek. Two guys, two chances to go to the main event of AngleSlam down the tube. Retribution isn't my style, but I'm not against revenge. Non death wishing revenge. But revenge, nonetheless. ... RODEZ Oooookaaaaayy, heh, got a little serious there for a moment. Obviously that's not going to last. Two weeks ago I issued this Open Challenge dealy and they sent some kid out dressed like Leonard Nimoy at a Halloween party. Why Leonard Nimoy would dress like The Rock at a Halloween party, I don't know. That's not the point. I'm still the 24/7 Champion, despite an unsuccessful challenge for the championship last Wednesday evening at WalMart where I was accosted by a spotty teenager with a barber college haircut and a charm bracelet on his left wrist. But I wasn't going to suffer the humiliation of being beaten by Jamie O'Hara, oh no! I retained the title and I'm here again tonight. Which means I'm issuing the challenge again. So, and I'm sure I'm going to regret this real soon, send out the challengee! *do dododo do do dododo do do dun dunna dun* COLE WHAT!? A familiar, non-OAOAST licensed theme song hits and the crowd, quite frankly, go NUTS~! And as the entrance doors part, it's all there. The red, white and blue wrestling singlet. The neat little wrestling shoes. The gold medals around the neck. But if the people were expecting the OAOAST's founding father, then they're...well, pretty stupid for a start, but also very wrong. Because this figure trudging down the ramp isn't bald. With a straggly mane of hair and covered from head to toe in dirt, the challenger walks slowly down the ramp. Slow like a zombie. COLE ...okay, what? COACH IT'S THE CORPSE OF ANGLESAULT! SOMEBODY DUG ANGLESAULT UP FROM THE GRAVE AND WHEELED HIM OUT HERE! PRAISE BE! *bows down* COLE That's not AngleSault, Coach. That's... a... it's a Zombie. It's... COACH IT'S ZOMBIESAULT!! COLE ...okay, sure, whatever. I'm going to sit here and trim my fingernails or something. You go ahead and call things. Glancing at an imaginary watch on his right wrist, Leon watches on as the ZombieSault trudges up the ring steps and reaches the ring ropes. Unfortunately, being a Zombie, ZombieSault's IQ is morbidly low and therefore he can't seem to navigate the ring ropes. Charles Robinson helps him out though, helping ZombieSault into the ring where he stalks across the ring. Backing away, Leon tries to make peace as the Zombie closes in on him, offering him the microphone as an appeasement...which, surprisingly, ZombieSault takes. COLE So, he can't enter the ring properly but he can use a microphone? COACH Who are you to doubt him! Without him, we wouldn't be here today damnit! *bows down* Some of the crowd murmur among themselves, as the ZombieSault continues to walk around the ring, before bringing the mic to his dirt covered mouth. ZOMBIESAULT UURURRGIIIGGUUGHGHHH!! AAURURURUUAHHAGGHGHHAU!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" ZOMBIESAULT UURRUHAHGAH! RRIUAUUUAHGGUAGHH... Yankees suck... COACH MY GOD IT'S REALLY HIM~!~!~! COLE Oh God. COACH *bows down* "YOU CAN'T EX - IST!" *clap clap clapclapclap* "YOU CAN'T EX - IST!" *clap clap clapclapclap* "YOU CAN'T EX - IST!" *clap clap clapclapclap* ZOMBIESAULT ... URRRHRHAGAHHEEEHRHRH!! RRHUEUHAHAG.. WOOO! .. RHRHAUGHUGIOGHGH!! RHRHUUAGAGHHHUUHH... It's True... NURUHRUUUGDGHHGGH!! *DINGDINGDING!* On the encouragement of Leon, Robinson rings the bell. However, ZombieSault doesn't seem to acknowledge the bell, or understand what it actually means. ZOMBIESAULT GGGRURURRUHGUHGURUHG!! Raising an eyebrow, the understandably confused 24/7 Champion looks to referee Robinson to ask what's going on. Robinson is damned if he knows though. All he can do is remind Leon that the bell has gone and signal for him to go ahead and wrestle. Looking over his shoulder, Leon picks the 24/7 Title off and glances at it. Then ZombieSault. Then the belt again. And then Zombie Sault. And then the belt. He's a little slow, I guess. ZOMBIESAULT RRUUUURHGGHGUURUR... *BELTSHOT~!* "YYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH NO! THAT'S OUR LORD AND MASTER! HE INVENTED THAT DAMNIT! COLE Oh come on, it was just BEGGING for it!! 1... 2... 3!!!! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" *DINGDINGDING!* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the... uhm... 'match', and still OAOAST 24/7 Champion... LLLEEEOOONN RRROOOOOODDEEEEEEZZZZ!! "Mama Said Knock You Out" strikes up again as Leon brushes some mud from his chest, still looking mighty confused. He retrieves his 24/7 Championship and glances down at ZombieSault, who lays motionless from the stiff beltshot. Huh. Stiff. Get it? Because he's a stif...ah, nevermind. COLE I don't know what to say about that, except that I don't expect to see ZombieSault again any time soon. COACH He can do whatever he wants, he created this business! *bows down* COLE Please stop that. COACH *continues bowing* COLE This could take a while. In the meantime, let's go to a commercial or something. Commercial Break Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted July 14, 2006 Fade in on a group of OAOAST crew and jobbers in a conference room huddled around a TV watching a replay of the Battlebowl battle royal. By chance, it is at the part where Longdogger Pete bundles Peter Knight out of the ring and, by sheer coincidence, Longdogger himself is standing next to the TV enjoying the moment all over again. The group cheers as Knight hits the floor and the men next to Pete slap him on the shoulder. CREWMAN There's one way to make an impact around here. JOBBER #1 That Knight guy's a dick. Glad to see someone embarass his ass. JOBBER #2 Yeah. Hey 'Dogger, rewind that so we can see it again. LONGDOGGER PETE Sure. Let's see it in slo-mo this time. The tape rewinds and stops as LP is sneaking behind Knight and plays in slow motion as he grabs Knight and shoves him over the top rope to the floor. Another cheer erupts from the group....but suddenly a door slams, causing all of them to nearly jump out of their shoes. *SLAM* All eyes turn in the direction of the sound and the group immediately tries to make itself invisible as the camera pans over to reveal Peter Knight. LP stops the tape and the peons slink out of the room as Knight walks up to the man that ended his shot at the AngleSlam main event. Knight gestures to the TV. KNIGHT So, what's going on here? Having a little viewing party for the grandkids? LONGDOGGER (chuckling) Age jokes....listen, if that's all you've got for this little promo you're gonna cut on me, you might as well just turn around and be moody somewhere else. I've had a long proud career in the SWF and yeah, all the parts aren't quite fresh out of the box, but I think I've shown that I can still get it done. Remember, *I* got the pin in our tag match and, as you just saw through the magic of videotape, I threw your ass out of that battle royal. I said I was going to make an immediate impact around here...and it looks like I did on you. KNIGHT Yeah, I'll agree with that; you did make a pretty big impact around here last week. Unfortunately, it was also the biggest mistake you've made in your career. I didn't come in here to tell you how I'm going to make your life a living hell; if you knew me you'd know that's not my style. I just came in here to let you know that I'm not gonna forget about last Tuesday. Hell, I'm not gonna forget about what I heard and saw when I came in here. I noticed we're both in this little gauntlet match with Gilbraltar later tonight. I got some advice for you: keep your eyes open, old man. (Leans in so that he is right in LP's face) Keep em' open. Knight leaves as the camera stays on LP watching him leave. Cut back to Sofa Central. COACH Longdogger is officially screwed. COLE This doesn't happen often, but I have to agree with you Coach. We've seen what Peter Knight is capable of when he's focused. Unfortunately, I don't think Longdogger Pete is. Right now, we've got a big announcement on a huge event that will be taking place over the next few months, so let's go to Tony Schiavone and Jesse Ventura. TONY SCHIAVONE Thanks, Michael. Well, we promised at Battlebowl we'd have further news concerning the Tag Team World Cup tournament, and here it is! The tournament will begin next week, as a matter of fact, we've been able to secure at least one match right here on HeldDOWN~! next week. Here is the American Bracket: As you can see, the #1 seed in the American Bracket will be the team representing Canada, they'll be taking on the 8th-seeded team from Antarctica, in a match that will take place right here on HeldDOWN~! a week from tonight! JESSE VENTURA Now we should point out that when we say "American bracket", that represents North AND South America, and not just these United States! TONY That's exactly right, and the winner of that match will take on the winner of the 4-5 matchup where the fourth-seeded Cuban team will take on the team from Ireland, who received the fifth seed in the American Bracket. Our third seed in the American Bracket is the team representing Germany, and they'll be taking on the sixth-seeded Poland team. And our final matchup features the #2-seeded Mexicans taking on the #7 seed, Switzerland! You got a favorite in this bracket? JESSE Well, I'm not too acquainted with these teams, Tony Schiavone, but I'm going to take the safe bet and go with the Canadians! If they were seeded ahead of Team Heyross, they must be something, I'm very anxious to see what they've got next week! TONY Yes, of course Team Heyross will compete in the Asian Bracket, we'll get to that in a little bit! The finals of the American bracket will eminate from New York's Shea Stadium on Saturday, August 5th! And now, a look at the European Bracket: As you can see, it's the U.K. drawing the #1 seed, and a showdown with the eighth-seeded Portugese team! From there, the winner faces either the French team, which drew the fourth seed, or the fifth-seeded team representing Argentina! Sweden will be the #3 seed, and will meet #6 Denmark, while the Italians, the #2 seed, take on the seventh-seeded Jamaicans, what do you think about this bracket, Jess? JESSE Well Tony, I've got to think this is the year of the Italians, they just won the Soccer World Cup, I think they make it 2-for-2 and come out of the European Bracket! TONY OK, Jesse Ventura, the finals of the European Bracket will be held at Wembley Arena on Saturday, August 5th! And now, onto the Asian Bracket! The Asian bracket is led by the Japanese team, they'll be taking on the team from Belgium, which will be the 1-8 matchup, the winner of the 4-5 matchup awaits the winner of that one! At the fourth seed, it's the Aussies, and they'll be meeting Spain, who drew the #5 seed. Our 3-6 matchup in the Asian bracket will feature the Chinese team, who will be challenged by sixth-seeded Greece, and of course, Team Heyross representing these United States got the #2 seed in this bracket, and Hong Kong will be their first rival as the #7 seed. Jesse? JESSE You know who I'm goin' for, Tony Schiavone! USA all the way, Team Heyross takes it! TONY The Egg Dome in Tokyo will be the site for the finals of the Asian Bracket, and once again, Saturday, August 5th is the date! Our last bracket is the African Bracket! And some more controversy here, as the Egyptian team, the top representative from Africa, did not receive the #1 seed! That instead went to Lithuania, who will face India as their opposition in round 1! In the 4-5 matchup, the team from Finland will be challenged by the fifth-seeded Koreans! The #3 seed in the African bracket will be the team from Iran, who will go up against the Brazilians, and Egypt of course draws the #2 spot, and will take on the team from Thailand in our 2-7 match! Who ya got? JESSE Well, Tony, you mentioned the controversy in this bracket, but I think the Lithuanians will prove that the committee made the right decision, and they'll walk out of this bracket the winner! TONY And the site for the finals will be the Stadium known as Soccer City in South Africa! We mentioned that the tournament begins next week, there will be a week in between rounds, and, as mentioned, the finals of each bracket will take place on Saturday, August 5th, as the OAOAST is working on a TV deal that would bring us all four matches for you viewing pleasure! The winners of the brackets will be re-seeded to compete in the semifinals and finals of the tournament at AngleSlam on August 27th! It's going to be a very exciting event! Back to you guys at ringside! We cut back to the arena to find Michael Cole standing about half way up the aisle by a fan in his mid 20ties who looks both nervous and excited. MICHAEL COLE Thanks Tony. Fans we get a lot of letters each week, a lot of them ask Coach to shut up - but one had a very special request from a very special man. This man right here Jimmy Moorecock, say hi to the fans Michael JIMMY MOORECOCK *voice breaks* Hiya COACH Oh what is this? Did he like win a "biggest loser" contest? MICHAEL COLE Now Jimmy you have something you want to say to someone right? JIMMY MOORECOCK Yes, yes I do Jimmy turns to the blond woman standing next to him, then he gets down on one knee and takes her hand JIMMY MOORECOCK Mandy I love you with all of my heart, will you marry me? MANDY Will I marry you? Jimmy are you joking? Why ask me here? Why now? JIMMY MOORECOCK Sjeesh it’s a marriage proposal Mandy I didn’t expect the Spanish Inquisition NOOOOOOOOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION! DUN-DUN-DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!!! COACH Oh lord they’ve gone and done it now - great job Cole *mumbles* you idiot The Gregorian chants that accompany the arrival of the Spanish Inquisition Team is heard and the crowd aren’t exactly positive about how events have unfolded. Cardinal X, Cardinal Fang and Cardinal Biggles slowly walk down the ramp in a very "holy" manner, the large Cardinal Biggles carrying a large crucifix over his shoulder and Cardinal Fang swinging the smoking lamp as they slowly head towards the ring. "Ie Jesus Domine - HUR!! Pax Vobiscum Sanctum Ie Jesus Domine - HUR!! Pax Vobiscum Sanctum" COLE I vote that we get a law that separates Church and Wrestling so that we can get these jokers out of here. COACH You know I kinda like them, they’re growing on me in a funny way. CARDINAL X Saints and Sinners! believers and lost souls - Satanists of ALL AGES! God’s representative on earth - Pope Benedict XVI -PRODULY PRESENTS the church’s left and right fist: the Spanish Inquisition Team!! Fighting in red, former Wing commander of the RAF who has bagged more than his fair share of sausage crates over the briny COACH He did what to the who now? CARDINAL X "THE MIGHTY MOUSTACHE" CARDINAL LORD FARNSWORTH WORTHINGTON ALOYISOUS BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESS!! COLE These guys claim that Cardinal Biggles is also the 3rd duke or Argyle or some crap COACH Hey he could be the Duke of Earl for all I care, he’s a big monster of a man and I for one am not going to disagree with him. . . to his face. "Je suis désolée" COACH The hell? "Lo siento" Madonna seems to be singing a very different song this week as the Dance Dance Dragon steps out into the arena. Usually he’s accompanied by dancing women and bright lights and whatnot but this week he’s out there with no lights, no frills, wearing a shirt that says "I’m sorry" on it "Ich bin draurich" COLE What does HE have to apologize for? He didn’t do anything wrong COACH If he left the ladies in the back he’ll have PLENTY to apologize for "Sono spiacente" Cardinal X and the others don’t know what to think of all of this at all as they watch the Dragon motion to the back. The curtain opens and COACH HEEEEEEEEEEEERE COMES THE HUNNIES!! Out comes 10 gorgeous women. . . all dressed up as nuns, with their heads bowed in prayer and their hands folded looking both sexy as hell and deeply religious all at once. "Pardónamea" Cardinal Fang eyes the nuns with an approving nod and a wink while Cardinal X looks more hesitantly at the procession coming down the aisle. The last nun hands Dance Dance Dragon a sign as she passes him, a sign that he quickly holds up in front of him. "I am so sorry" COLE Do you think the Dragon is repenting? That he’s seen the light of the SIT’s Lord? COACH The Sith lord? Get with the program Cole we're not on some weird fictional world tour here! Dragon enters the ring followed by the nuns all getting up on the apron behind him while he approaches the three members of the Spanish Inquisition Team. Cardinal X can’t help but laugh as the Dragon gets down on his knees, apparently begging for forgiveness over his wicket ways. CARDINAL X REEEEEEEEEEEEEEJOICE Brothers! For we have a converted soul it seems that Brother Dragon here has finally realized what each and everyone of you out there will soon realize, that I am right and that you’re but sinners on the road to hell BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! CARDINAL X Boo? You do not boo the Lord! Nor do you boo his emissaries on earth! See Brother Dragon here understands, you can’t stand up to the Spanish Inquisition! Come let us all pray for the salvation of these people. The three Cardinals get down on their knees and fold their hands, Dragon remains standing behind the three cardinals but also folds his hands in prayer. CARDINAL X Oh lord we beseech thee to show these people the error of their ways, to show these people that free will is underrated and that subjugating yourself is the only way to go. As Cardinal X prays Dance Dance Dragon holds up the sign that reads "I’m so sorry" and then flips it over to reveal that it says "that you SUCK!" on the other side YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!! Cardinal X can’t help but smile as he prays, he mistakenly believes that the crowd is cheering for him, but they are infact cheering for Dance Dance Dragon as he takes off his "I’m sorry" shirt and then figuratively wipes his ass with it. CARDINAL X And thank you for making Brother Dragon see the light and cover up all these sluts, I mean skanks. . . women! As on cue Dragon points to the ladies who quickly reveal that they’re wearing nothing more than skimpy bikinis underneath their nun’s habits. COACH HOMMINA’! HOMMINA’! HOMMINA’! COLE Man it’s getting a little hot in here isn’t it? DRAGON!! DRAGON!! DRAGON!! The "Dragon" chant tells Cardinal X that there is something wrong, he quickly turns around only to be mortified as all hell (pardon the pun) when he sees Dance Dance Dragon getting down, getting funky with the now ever so slightly dressed women. CARDINAL X BIGGLES GET HIM!! The gigantic Cardinal rushes the Dragon but Dance Dance Dragon was prepared for a sneak attack and quickly ducks under the big man, motioning to the girls that they should head to the back before something bad happens to them. COLE I take it Dance Dance Dragon wasn’t actually sorry COACH Yeah he was sorry you’re still out here Cole Dragon drop kicks Cardinal Fang off the apron and then turns around hoping to catch Cardinal X off guard as well. But the head of the SIT isn’t so easily outwitted as he demonstrates by taking the Dragon down with a leaping clothesline on the much smaller man. Cardinal X quickly rolls out of the ring and allows Biggles to take over *DING!*DING!*DING!* COLE And we’re finally under way! Biggles picks up the groggy Dance Dance Dragon with both hands and raises him up in the air, choking his opponent as he just holds him there. Cardinal X nods in approval while the referee begins to count on the choke. When the referee hits 4 Cardinal X nods and Biggles drops the Dragon with a double handed Choke Bomb CARDINAL X AGAIN!! AGAIN CONVERT HIM EVEN IF IT KILLS HIM!! Cardinal Biggles picks up the Dragon once more, wraps his hands around his opponent’s throat and raises the much smaller man into the air for a second time. COACH Man this is a slaughter! COLE Yeah it’s pretty bad COACH Who said anything about it being bad? When the referee reaches four Cardinal X nods once again giving Biggles the order to choke bomb the Dragon once more. Once Biggles gets back to his feet he walks over to the ropes to get further instructions from Cardinal X revealing a total lack of independent thought. With Biggles and X talking neither of the two notice a big man with a cowboy hat and a barbwire bat come running down the aisle towards the ring. COLE BRUCE BLANK IS BACK!! What the hell does he want this time? Hasn’t he caused enough trouble today? COACH Man we really need better security! For the second time this evening Bruce enters the ring during a match he isn’t in and for the second time in a row he attacks the participants, well in this case just Dance Dance Dragon with the barbwire baseball bat tearing the Dragon’s shirt to shreds on impact. *DING!*DING!*DING!*DING!*DING!*DING!*DING!*DING!*DING!* When Cardinal X spots Bruce in the ring he quickly motions for Biggles to leave the ring, getting him out of harms way as Bruce swings the barbwire bat at the referee but misses as the zebra quickly throws himself to the ground and then rolls out of the ring. *DING!*DING!*DING!*DING!*DING!*DING!*DING!*DING!*DING!* COLE Come on someone stop this!! COACH Well it ain’t the S.I.T. Cole, they seem to be enjoying it *DING!*DING!*DING!*DING!*DING!*DING!*DING!*DING!*DING!* Cardinal Fang has a hard time suppressing a grin as Bruce strikes the Dragon for the second time. Blank gets down one knee, then he grabs the Dragon’s mask by the edge and pulls it up so that he can get a good look at the masked man’s face. Then with a disappointed scowl he pulls the mask back over the Dragon’s face, gets up and exits the ring. Bruce looks at the three Cardinals on the floor, not sure if they’re going to try something or not MICHAEL BUFFER The winner of the match by disqualification DANCE!! DANCE!! DRAGON!! The SIT hadn’t realized that they had been disqualified until it was announced and appear very upset with it, Cardinal Fang even approaches Bruce yelling at him in French *POW!!* Only for Bruce to hit him square in the chest with his barbwire bat before heading backstage once more. COACH Why the hell did he lift up the mask? He did the same thing earlier on to the Dark Predator? COLE Your guess is as good as mine Coach COACH Nah Michael, my guess is 50% better than yours because I’m Da Coach! While Coach and Cole argue that point Cardinal Biggles reaches into the ring, grabs Dance Dance Dragon by the foot and then drags the now unconscious wrestler to the outside before unceremoniously slinging him over his shoulder. Cardinal X helps Fang to his feet and then quickly admonishes him for being stupid before the S.I.T. make their way up the aisle COLE Where are they going with the Dragon? What’s going on here? COACH Oh come on did you expect anything else from the Spanish Inquisition? Upon hearing that Cardinal X runs down the aisle again, around the corner to the commentator’s table and then grabs the microphone CARDINAL X NOOOOOOOoo. . . Oh wait - you didn’t actually say that you didn’t expect us did you? *tries to look like he’s busy with something else* carry on. COLE Now that you’re here I can ask you this. Where are you going with the Dragon? CARDINAL X Dragon? We’re not going anywhere with him, who said we were huh? Who told you that?? COLE Well . . . just the fact that you’re carrying him off CARDINAL X Ah yes that! *mumbles something that could be "Mutafarker"* Well that’s none of your business, it doesn’t concern you - it’s neither your business nor does it concern you. . . and it’s not important either. Cardinal X decides to just stop it before he launches into yet another long spiel and heads back up the aisle leaving the arena with Fang & Biggles and the still unconscious Dance Dance Dragon. COACH Maybe we’ll find out next week what they’re doing with the Dragon. UP NEXT: Six-Man Tag titles up for grabs! Commercial Break Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted July 14, 2006 As we return to the live feed of wrestling action, we're greeted by Korn's blaring rendition of "Word Up", as the OAOAST's very own set of wrasslin' triplets, The Garners, have hit ringside ready for action. COLE Welcome back fans, you're just in time for World Six Man Tag Team Title action, as a challenge laid out two weeks ago gets answered tonight. After defeating The Wildcards at the Great Angle Bash, The Hooligans have found themselves chased by former World Six Man Tag Team Champions The Triple Threat, the trio of triplets Nick, Rick, and Dick Garner. COACH ...and my boys ain't scurred o' nothin'! COLE It's evident that The Hooligans aren't intimidated by anyone, as their wars with The Wildcards have proven. Still, The Garners threw down the gauntlet. They want their titles back, and they're looking to reclaim them tonight! Looking hyped for their chance at regaining the belts they feel they established, The Garners work themselves up further while all eyes are on the entrance ramp, the music of The Triple Threat having now faded away. Moments later, "Make Her Say" hits, and after having been on the receiving end of the fans venom up until recently, it's all null and void tonight, as The Hooligans get a HYOOGE pop when they step out on the ramp! COLE Much like they proved their worth by not backing down from the sadistic Wildcards, they've also managed to get the crowd behind them! Scotty Static and Johnny Jax step out first, brandishing 40 oz. beers in one hand, and their World Six Man Titles draped over their shoulders. They stand facing the crowd and start chugging as Jamie O'Hara walks out, his belt strapped firmly around his waist as he stands in the middle of the GPX with his arms folded in front of him. Static and Jax then reach back and hand their belts to O'Hara, who then cocks his head back and extends his arms, holding a belt in each hand, as the GPX pour the remainder of their beers down his throat! COACH Now THAT'S how you take a drink! None o' that sissy boy martini sipping! COLE Are you shooting? COACH Like a Duck Hunt player, playa! Now that they're tipsy, The Hooligans walk to the ring (O'Hara still carrying all three belts) as the GPX charge down the aisle first, sliding into the ring right into an assault by the Triple Threat! Nick, Dick and Rick pounce on the former World Tag Team Champions until O'Hara puts the title belts aside and leaps to the apron, springboarding into the ring with a corkscrew crossbody that wipes out all three of the Garners! COLE That's a way to make an entrance! Now that all six men are involved, they pair off with each other, as each Hooligan picks a Garner and stays on him. O'Hara beats on one of the triplets with forearms across the back, until he pulls him up and catches a thumb to the eye, which allows whatever Garner it is he's been brawling with to take advantage, and hurl him through the ropes! O'Hara splats on the floor, while Johnny Jax finds himself dumped over the top rope across the ring, leaving Scotty Static at the mercy of all three Garners. COACH We got no intro's for The Hooligans...and did we even get a bell? DING! DING! DING! COLE We did now! With the match "officially" underway, the former World Six Man Tag Team Champions pound on Static and then send him to the ropes, catching him with a double hiptoss but then catching his legs, flipping him back over to a vertical base as Nick Garner comes off the ropes with a front dropkick that floors Scotty! Dick and Rick then put the boots to Static as referee Nick Patrick makes a valiant attempt to restore order...only to be shoved to the canvas by Nick Garner! COLE Keep that up and they're not going to be getting their World Six Man Tag Team Championships back anytime soon! Patrick gets up immediately and chastises Nick, while Dick and Rick turn away from Static to be met with a jump spinning roundhouse and a Yakuza kick respectively, as O'Hara and Jax burst back into the ring! Each of those Garners roll out under the bottom rope, while Nick comes swinging at Jax, only to be caught, and drilled with a hard full nelson slam! Static springs off the middle rope and hits a twisting somersault legdrop on the cocky clone, while O'Hara comes from the apron onto the top rope, springboarding in with a 450 splash! He covers... ONE! TWO! ...and has the count broken up by Dick, who reaches in and yanks the lanky Brit off of his brother! COACH These Garners got their game faces on tonight! Seeing what's happened, Jax saves the day for O'Hara by blasting Dick with a baseball slide, then rolling back into the ring and launching himself onto him with a pescado! Rick hops up on the apron as well, but it's Static who catches him, and he runs and kicks off the middle rope, turning his body to hit a diving lariat that knocks him back down to the floor! Meanwhile, Nick is up, but O'Hara comes behind him with a sleeper, only to be snapmared onto his back and have the attempt broken up. Static charges, but Nick sees it coming and snares him in mid-charge, twisting around and drilling him hard with a spinebuster, then getting to his feet to gloat about it. He looks over and sees Jax on the apron, but smiles as brother Dick yanks Jax off by the ankles, and then tosses him backwards against the guardrail! COLE You can see that they're trying to break The Hooligans down, and isolate one of them, but that's tough to do especially with someone as quick as O'Hara on the team! Nick motion for Dick to climb back into the ring, as he sends Static to the corner, where The Hooligans most vocal member crashes hard. Dick gets back up on the apron, but Jax pulls him off the apron and onto his shoulders, backing away from the ring with the triplet sitting on top of him...which O'Hara notices and comes over, slingshotting up onto the rope and hitting a springboard rana OFF OF JAX'S SHOULDERS AND TO THE FLOOR! COACH DAMN J, nice! "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" Nick, who has climbed up to the middle rope to superplex Static, is stunned as he watches his brother get snapped to the ringside floor, and that extra second is all Static needed to slip free. Trapping his arms, Static applies a butterfly lock and lifts as he shifts his feet off the turnbuckles... ...and DROPS NICK GARNER WITH A TOP ROPE SPIKED PUNCH~!~! COLE That a double dose of insanity from The Hooligans tonight! The lone Garner left, Rick, tries to slide in and break the ensuing count, but he's yanked outside by O'Hara, leaving him prone for one of Jax's patented Yakuza kicks, as Nick Patrick makes the count in the ring. ONE! TWO! THREE! COLE And just like that, it's over! COACH Oh they are over, baby! COLE Nice play on words Coach...and the same can be said for The Garners as well, albeit it in an entirely different way. They've been humbled quite a bit in recent weeks, and it may be a while before they decide to show their faces around here again! As "Make Her Say" plays again, the frenzied crowd applauds the victory from the three streetwise superstars, watching on happily as they give each other their props. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winners, and STILL OAOAST World Six Man Tag Team Champions...THE HOOOOOOOOOOLIGAAAANSSSS! The Hooligans exit the ring, each one going to reclaim his championship belt, and as they head up the ramp Jax and Static stop to pick up their 40 oz. bottles...although Static doesn't get a chance to see what's left, as O'Hara snags his bottle and darts backstage! COACH Haha! Looks like J can't wait to get his party on! COLE It'll be a victory party indeed tonight for The Hooligans. OAOAST BACKTRACKER Battlebowl Courtesy: OAOAST Home Entertainment COLE Hey, what's going on now? PR, Lindsay, Popick...enter the ring. Logan is still recovering from his nutshot. Colombian Heat is down and out on the mat. PRL is laughing manically. COACH Now what? PRL picks Logan up. He looks at the crowd with a smirk on his face and then drops Logan with the CORPORATE NIGHTMARE~!!!! COLE Corporate Nightmare! And now a Corporate Nightmare on poor Logan Mann! It's bad enough that he won't be in the Battlebowl for a shot at the World Heavyweight Title at AngleSlam, but now he must suffer this humiliation after his defeat! Come on PRL! PRL just stands in the center of the ring and poses, laughing manically, while Lindsay and SJP smile evilly. CUT TO: A close-up of Josh Matthews at the backstage interview position. JOSH That piece of footage, ladies and gentlemen, was from last Tuesday night at Battlebowl. In one of the Lethal Lottery matches held throughout the night to determine who would advance to Battlebowl, Logan Mann was paired with Colombian Heat to face Tha Puerto Rican and Wildcard member Todd Cortez. And as we just saw, Tha Puerto Rican and company took unwarrented liberties after the bout. Following the incident OAOAST officials immediately signed for tonight a OAOAST World tag team title featuring Tha Puerto Rican and Stephen Joseph against my guests at this time...the greatest rock 'n' wrestling band of all time, the Heavenly Rockers! The camera pulls back to reveal the Heavenly Rockers and Holly-Wood standing beside Josh. Lovebirds Logan and Holly, or Lolly for extra cuteness and annoyance, snuggle up against one another while Synth plays his imaginary bongos. Synth and Logan dressed to fight in their baggy pants and NBA All Star Game '07 Vegas shirts (the NBA is paying the OAOAST serious dough for promotion). LOGAN J-Math, no need to explain what went down at the 'Bowl. The video speaks for itself. Just like my fists will be speaking for me once we get inside that ring, Thelma and Louise. You got the best of me at Battlebowl, but you did it while I was down, while I was worn out after giving everything I had for an opportunity to advance onto Battlebowl and into the main event slot at AngleSlam! And when we meet again in just a few short minutes, not only will I be standing but I'll be alongside my best friend and life partner, the craziest mothersucker I know and the freakiest chick I, Logan "Usher" Mann, have ever been in the sack with...the Synthmeister and Holly-Wood! And if that glorified tranny, Lindsay Gonzalez, sticks her nose where it doesn't belong... JOSH SYNTH Dun, nun, dun, nun-un...Dude looks like a lady! LOGAN Hey, I've seen so many in Vegas I can practically sniff 'em out. Like I was saying, if that Latina Bitch sticks her nose where it don't belong... Holly, baby... HOLLY Lindsay, you interject yourself in the match and I'll show you why they call me the "Angel of Death." Don't worry about breaking a nail, worry about me breaking your bones! LOGAN God, I love you. HOLLY And I love you, my big macho man. LOGAN Ooooooh, yeah! Lolly share an eskimo kiss. :wub: into :huh: Dan Black and Tony Brannigan, BLACK T, make their presence felt at the interview position. In stark contrast to Synth and Logan's attire, Dan and Tony look like they've just walked off the set of a GQ photo shoot in their tailor-made Armani suits and summer shades. SYNTH Yo, Mann, check it out. If it ain't our old friends, the Ice Heart and T-Bod. We haven't seen you in like 2 years. 'Sup, fellas? DAN What is up, you Neanderthal, involves the 3 man power trip of Adam, Drek Stone and Hoff. LOGAN We accept. TONY (puzzled) Accept what? LOGAN Your offer to join Team OAOAST July 30th at Syndicated. (sarcastically) I mean, the last time Synth and I went all in with you guys we couldn't believe how quick you were to repay us, living up to your word on giving us a tag title match. Oh...heh...that's right. You didn't! SYNTH Indian giver! LOGAN But hey, at least we didn't come out of our working arrangement empty-handed. We got a case of the crabs and a loss in our first match in the OAOAST. It doesn't get any better than that. So we'd just love to work with you two again. SYNTH And there ain't nothing the L-Mann loves to do more than go "down under." Ain't that right, Holly? LOGAN Watch it. That's my girl you're talkin' about there, bro. TONY It's because of attitudes like that Adam is thisclose to seizing control of the OAOAST. While you're suffering from a case of jungle fever, Dan and I are out there battling an even bigger threat -- Drek Stone, Hoff and Adam. They managed to do what the Upstarts couldn't, and that's bring the OAOAST to a grinding halt. There's brickering within the Board of Directors; brickering over who to include on the team; brickering over what color of socks to put on in the morning. We got 2 more weeks to get this shit together, but we aren't united. The OAOAST isn't united. I hear people say why don't you go get Zack Malibu. SYNTH Why don't you go get Zack Malibu? Lolly playfully slap Synth upside the head. Synth left to ponder why they did so. TONY (CONT'D) But after he alienated every friend he has or brought in to watch his back, he's now in witness protection because 3 pyschos are gunnin' for his ass. Sure, we got Bill Watts, but hell, he's 67 years old. Dan and I may not always see eye-to-eye with the ol' Cowboy, but damn if the son-of-a-bitch isn't eager to fight. He understands the threat the OAOAST is under. JOSH Is there a point to all this? DAN Watch-- TONY The point is, you boys need to watch your backs. If Adam gains control of the OAOAST he'll waste no time sending Drek Stone and Hoff after you and the World tag team titles to bring them under their control. To prevent that from happening, I've come up with the perfect solution. Forfit the tag team championship to us. DAN Unless, of course, you'd prefer to do this the hard way. HOLLY And people ask what Synth's smokin'. SYNTH Hey, moi's right here. TONY You can still get your revenge on Tha Puerto Rican and Stephen Joseph later tonight, just forefit the titles to us and save yourself the heartache that will come your way no matter who's in power. Personally, I'd rather forfit the belts to men like myself and Mr. Black, two men you know will follow in your example of giving all those who seek it a shot at the titles. DAN I assure you, Mr. Stone and Mr. Hoff will not follow in your footsteps. They'll sit on the belts until they come dangerously close to exceeding the 30 day period in which they have to defend those titles. LOGAN Wow. Since you put it that way, you're really doing us a favor. TONY Yep. We sure are. DAN And we're only doing it because we care about your welfare and that of the OAOAST. LOGAN Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. DAN (CONT'D) Mr. Brannigan and I wish to see you make it to your wedding in one piece, Mr. Mann. LOGAN I appreciate your concern, Danny. But you gotta understand, this is a HUGE decision we have to make. I'd like a moment to discuss this with the rest of the gang. TONY Of course. DAN By all means, please. HOLLY Honey, what the hell? You and Synth worked so hard for these belts. The blood, the sweat, the tears, the indecent proposals. You just can't hand them over. SYNTH Yeah. Logan huddles with Synth and Holly. Lots of mumbling. Dan and Tony very confident in the background, chatting it up with Josh. SYNTH Dude! LOGAN Okay. We made our decision. HOLLY Logan, no. LOGAN Holly, please. It's best this way. Dan, Tony...on behalf of the Heavenly Rockers... DAN & TONY LOGAN (with worst English accent) ...PISS OFF, LADYBUGS! DAN & TONY The Heavenly Rockers and Holly exit, leaving Black T to pout. COLE Not exactly the answer that Black T was looking for, was it? COACH I don't think anyone wants to get in the ring with Axel and company at Syndicated. Watts may have to go to the old folks home to dig up some fossils. Wait, he can just get Longdogger Pete! COLE Har har. Cut to backstage, where Bohemoth and NRG are WALKING~! COLE Coming up after the break, it's Six Man Tag Team Action! Christian Wright and The South Central Militia, taking on Bohe...woah, what the hell! Suddenly, both Michael Cole and the snazzy background music stop. The 'UP NEXT' logo in the bottom left of the screen abruptly disappears too, as Bohemoth and NRG stop in their tracks. Bohemoth coolly lowers his shades and crosses his arms, staring at the makeshift roadblock that is Axel! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" AXEL You two can run along, I just need to speak to the big guy. Taking the hint while they can, Biff and Flex give Bo encouraging slaps on the back and motion that they'll see him in the ring, before shuffling off, wondering just what in the hell is going on. Bohemoth seems to be asking that exact same question, as Axel, smiling for some reason, leans up against the corridor wall. And after a brief, awkward pause, the former World Champion nods in approval. AXEL You know, it takes a lot to impress me. But, I gotta say, you impress me bigman. You impress me a whole heck of a lot. Call it egotistical if you want, but I see a lot of me in you. BOHEMOTH Hold up. Are you...coming on to me? "YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" Smiling off the suggestion, Axel shakes his head. AXEL And a sense of humour too. I like that. No Bo, I'm not coming on to you. I'm strictly Heterosexual, unlike your good Meterosexual self, but that's besides the point. See, I've got a proposal for you. A business proposal, naturally. I had a bit of a...'vested interest' in BattleBowl and as you know, Drek Stone came out on top and he's going to AngleSlam... "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" AXEL ...but you see, something else caught my eye that night. You. Axel points a big, Aussie finger in Bohemoth direction as he says this, pushing himself up off the wall. AXEL The way you took Hoff and just threw him over the top rope like he was nothing impressed the hell out of me. Because you see, Hoff isn't nothing. He's far from nothing. And it takes a special talent to manhandle a former two time World Heavyweight Champion, brief as that moment may have been. You impressed me. Which is why myself and Hoff and Drek have come to an agreement. And Bo, on behalf of them and myself, I'd like to offer you the opportunity of your life... a spot on my team for the Survivor Series Rules Match at Syndicated. Raising an eyebrow ever so slightly at this announcement, Bo is apparantly surprised. Axel leans back against the wall and does a quick check of the fingernails, trying to look as casual as the Meterosexual Monster, even in the face of this big offer. Eventually, Bo seems to have mused it over a little. But as he replaces the shades over his eyes he continues to stare on down the hallway. BOHEMOTH Thanks, but no thanks. "YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Looking almost unable to comprehend the answer he's given, Axel pushes up off the wall and becomes a little more threatening. Not that Bo seems that worried, lifting the shades again to lock eyes with the former World Champion. AXEL You do realise that you're making a big mistake, of course. BOHEMOTH The only mistake I'd make is if I sold out to you again. I've changed since The Upstarts Axe.. AXEL The Upstarts!? Screw The Upstarts! That was different, that was in the pa... BOHEMOTH I've changed. I'm not just a walking bodyguard that you or Christian or anyone else can order around. I'm my own man. So, with all due respect...thanks, but no thanks. Now, I've got a match, so I'll let you go and find Plan B. Brushing past Axel, Bohemoth strides out of camera shot, leaving The Dark One to watch on, fuming. AXEL Oh, you're bloody well going to regret that UP NEXT: CHRISTIAN WRIGHT AND THE SOUTH CENTRAL MILITIA -VS- BOHEMOTH AND NRG Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted July 14, 2006 "Back Caught you lookin' for the same thing It's a new thing - check out this I bring Uh Oh the roll below the level 'Cause I'm livin' low next to the bass, C'mon Turn up the radio They claim that I'm a criminal" Public Enemy's "Don't Believe The Hype" hits as we return to HeldDOWN~!, bringing to the ring the OAOAST's hitmen for hire for the past year and a half, The South Central Militia. The newly trimmed down Vincent Ford leads the way for the team, with Marcellus Wallace following behind, yelling at anyone within earshot that they're "Lookin' at the Man!" BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following six-man tag team contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing team number one. First, hailing from South Central L.A... at a total combined weight of five hundred and five pounds. MARCELLUS "ONE EYE" WALLACE... VINCENT "WHITEY" FORD... THE SOUTH CENTRAL MILLLIIITTIIIIIAAAAAA!!!" Ford and Wallace enter the ring and gesture to the crowd, Vinny crudely grabbing his crotch to tell one group of booing fans exactly what he thinks of them. COLE Well, nobody ever accused these two of having class to burn. The Militia have spent the past couple of months, along with a number of other OAOAST teams including NRG, working predominantly over with our sister promotion in Japan, HI-YAH. But they returned a few weeks ago at Christian Wright's side for reasons which haven't been fully explained, but are pretty obvious to the casual observer. They saved Christian from a beatdown on a recent edition of HeldDOWN from Bohemoth, then interrupted the Wright-Bohemoth match at The Great Angle Bash, beating Bo down with police batons. Muscle for hire, in other words. The question is, how deep does this relationship with Christian Wright run? Or, perhaps more critically, how deep does Christian's wallet run? *BREEEAAAK!* "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" "Tear Away" by Drowning Pool hits next to the tune of resounding boos as Christian Wright emerges through the entrance doors, head down, hidden behind cloak and hood. BUFFER And their partner...hailing from Raleigh, North Carolina. He weighs in at two hundred and thirty three pounds. He is YOUR OAOAST 2005 Rookie Of The Year... "THE NATURAL"... CHHRRRRIIISSSTTIIIIAAAANN... WWWRRRIIIIIIGGHHHTTT!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Down comes the hood, Wright getting his first look out at the crowd. And what he sees isn't pleasant, plenty of pro Bohemoth signs and down-turned thumbs being wielded in his direction as he strolls down the rampway. Wright simply turns his nose up at the abuse, entering the ring and shaking hands with both members of the SCM. "BO - HE - MOTH!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" Already, CW is being ambushed by the chants, even as he removes his robe and crucifix pendant. But the fans will have to wait a little longer, as "Adrenaline" by Gavin Rossdale hits. Jogging out from the back, Nutrition's Real Gurus make their highly anticipa... that is to say, long awai... they haven't been around for a while, okay? But now, they're back. Flex proudly sports his NRG track jacket as the hula skirt wearing hair fetished Biff Atlas follows. We miss you Patty. BUFFER And the opponents! First, at a total combined weight of five hundred, fifteen pounds... FLEX PHILLIPS and BIFF "SHAMPOO" ATLAS"... NUTRITION'S REAL GURUS... N! R! G!!!!! "YYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" Wise despite their jock tendencies, NRG stop at the foot of the ramp, deciding not to enter the ring with three on two odds and waiting on their partner. *BbwWbAhmotherfuckerLlIiiBbbEErRrAATtTeeyYyOUUurRrMmmMmMiIInNnDddDd!!* "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE What a reaction! The roaring nu-metal sounds of "Liberate" by Disturbed pound out through the arena and the crowd, simply put, go banana. Biff starts to jump for joy on the ramp, happily telling his opponents "he's with us, he's with us!" as The Meterosexual Monster emerges and stops abruptly on the stage. Lowering his orange tinted shades, Bo locks eyes with his former tag team partner in the ring. And as the glasses go back up, Bohemoth storms down the rampway, sending a panicky CW running for cover. BUFFER And, their tag team partner. From Greenville, South Carolina and weighing two hundred, eighty four pounds... BOOOOOOOOOO - HHEEEEEEEMMOOOTTHHHHHHHH!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Buffer joins Wright in scampering for cover as Bo and NRG quickly storm the ring, The South Central Militia waiting on them with some heavy boots. *DINGDINGDING!* Vinny and Moe get the jump on Biff and Flex, but Bohemoth gets away and exits the ring on the opposite side, following after Wright who has bailed to the floor. Seeing his former bodyguard closing in on him, CW tries to beg off. But when that doesn't work he's forced to take even more evasive action, hopping the guardrail and rushing off into the crowd. That doesn't deter Bohemoth however, throwing down his glasses and staying in hot pursuit as he too heads off through the baying fans! COLE Wait a minute, Bohemoth and Christian Wright are heading out of here! COACH *tuts* This is terrible. I keep telling CDub to remember to wind down his car windows when he gets to the arena, and yet he always waits until the worst possible time to remember to do it. Right in the middle of a match, how inconvenient! COLE That's weak even for you. Christian is running away from Bohemoth because he's scared, plain and simple! As Bo and CW disappear off into the distance, weaving their way through the people with Christian managing to stay comfortably ahead of The Meterosexual Monster, we're left in the ring with The South Central Militia and NRG. Ford and Wallace drag Biff and Flex to their feet collectively and give a nod to each other, sending the Nutritional Gurus off the ropes with stereo whips. As Biff and Flex shoot back, The Militia then duck their heads. But they duck too early and pay for it, as Flex drops an elbow across the back of Wallace's head, while Biff skids to a barefoot halt and connects with a Million $ Kneelift! BIFF Biff Pose: Million Dollars! Biff shamelessly rips off Ted DiBiase, giving the crowd the 'hands full of money' pose. Meanwhile, Flex drags Marcellus Wallace back to his feet, throwing him out of the ring before going after Vinny. Referee Slick Johnson, looking a little lost by the fact two of the competitors in the match have disappeared, tries to gain some control by sending Biff back to his corner. That distracts him from a cruel rake of the face by Vinny though, blinding Flex and giving Vinny time to turn and send Biff tumbling off the apron and to the floor with a forearm from behind! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Popping back up, Biff angrily tries to get back in at Vinny but he's held back by the ref, allowing Wallace to roll back in and join in a double beatdown on Flex! COLE There's the gangwars mentality from The South Central Militia. Not a lot of finesse there, although we're reliably told that their time in Japan was 'productive'. Biff frantically tries to alert Johnson to the problem, but by the time he finally leaves the ring, Wallace has left the ring and what remains is Vinny clinging on to a front facelock on the biggest man in the match. Landing a couple of knees to the sternum, Vincent manoeuvres Flex over to the SCM corner, accepting a tag. Marcellus steps in and lands a boot to the exposed gut, following it up with a double axehandle over the back. WALLACE C'mon, ge'ddup bitch! Rolling to his knees, Flex grabs at Moe and tries to fend him off. Wallace swats the arms away though, grabbing Flex by the ears and landing a headbutt! And another! Taking a quick step back, Wallace then lunges back with a knee right to the side of the head! The muscleman collapses in a heap, the not quite so muscular but still pretty darn big Moe turning Flex over and pinning... 1... 2... Kickout. Moe reaches back up and tags out to Vinny, who quickly climbs to the top. With a hold of the tights, Flex is roughly hauled back to his feet and held in place as Vinny balls up his fist and drops from the top, driving the right hand down into Flex's forehead. Risking his well-being, referee Slick Johnson makes sure Wallace leaves the ring again while Vinny glances over to Biff and grabs a handful of crotch in his direction, luring the illegal man into the ring. Sure enough Slick rushes over to keep Biff from interfering in the match, but sure enough that opens the door for The SCM to double-team. Flex is pushed into the South Central corner and Wallace quickly wraps the seldom used tag rope around his throat, while Vinny continues to taunt and mock Biff to prolong the distraction. Being the nice guy now, being slow on the uptake is an automatic characteristic but eventually Biff does realise he's doing more harm than good and reluctantly leaves the ring, forcing Wallace to quickly untangle the rope 'noose'. COACH So, did they learn that in Japan? COLE Look, I was told they learnt a lot while in HI-YAH. Don't shoot the messenger. Gasping for breath, the still choking Flex stumbles out of the corner and into Vinny. A boot to the gut doubles the near 300 pounder over, setting him up as Vinny hits the ropes and leaps, driving a Scissors Kick across the back of Flex's head! COLE There you go Coach. Vinny's trimmed down in the past few months and word is, he's pretty mean on the basketball court. COACH Oh really. I might have to take him up on that sometime. COLE You're becoming more and more of a walking stereotype. Vinny labouriously rolls Flex over onto his back and drops in a pin... 1... 2... Kickout! Poor referee Johnson is immediately hounded by The Militia but stands firm that it was only a two. COLE I've no idea what happened to CW and Bo, we're getting no word from the back, whether they're still roaming around the crowd or not. For now, I guess this is going to stay a straight tag team match. Climbing back up Vinny encourages Flex back to his feet, waiting on the Nutritional Guru. Flex does reach his feet and searches out his corner. Before he can get there though, Vinny catches him, hooking him under the head for a Diamond Cutter. Flex blocks though, shoving Vinny off into the ropes. Back rebounds "Whitey", right into Flex's arms as he presses him up and lets him plummet back to earth! COLE He calls that the Oxygen Debt! COACH Cute. Both men are down momentarily, but Flex suddenly rolls over into his corner and makes the tag! "YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" Storming into the ring, Biff mows down Vinny with a clothesline. In runs Marcellus for the save, but he meets the same fate, taking a clothesline which doesn't knock him down but does put him into reverse, stumbling back into his corner. Vinny is back up by now, but another clothesline knocks him down. Marcellus rushes in again and goes for a clothesline of his own, but Biff ducks, waiting on Moe to turn around and landing a right hand. "BIFF!" A right hand. "BIFF!" A right hand. "BIFF!" A right hand. "BIFF!" Wind-up... "WOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH..." ...and a BIG right hand!! "BIFF!!" COACH EXTREME~! The force of the last right sends Marcellus stumbling out through the ropes and to the floor, with Flex following. Meanwhile, Biff sets his attentions back on Vinny and charges at him with a high knee he's so wittily christening the 'Biff Upper Lip'. However, Vinny swats it aside, catching Biff from behind and hitting a back suplex. COLE Well, Biff's fire soon got extinguished. COACH That's because he's a... *THUD!* Suddenly, Coach is sent bundling off the sofa and to the floor, as BOHEMOTH is back! Clambering over the couch, the bigman has apparantly given up the chase on Wright and now slides back into the ring. Vinny is just getting back up from dropping Biff, when suddenly he's confronted by The Meterosexual Monster, who scoops him up and PLANTS him with the Front Spinebuster!! COLE I don't know where Bohemoth came from, but he just destroyed Vinny in one swoop! 1... 2... 3!!! "YYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" "Liberate" strikes up again as Bohemoth pushes back to his feet and immediately goes across the ring, calling for a microphone and cutting off Buffer pre-announcement. Bo snatches the mic away, looking out into the crowd for any signs of his former partner. But as he sees none, he settles for looking straight down the barrel of the camera. BOHEMOTH Christian... next week... I'm gonna get you. COLE Oh, MY!! Bo throws down the microphone and gives a small nod to Biff before leaving, letting NRG get on with celebrating 'their' victory. COLE I think that's a pretty clear message! Bohemoth's tired of waiting, he wants Christian Wright and he wants him next week! COACH *Uuugh...* COLE Most intelligent thing you've said all night, congrats. The camera cuts to the HeldDOWN~! interview area where we see “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican looking around the area for…something. Josh “J. Math” Matthews is standing by, looking as confused as everyone in the arena. JOSH MATTHEWS P.R. PRL is still looking. JOSH MATTHEWS PR? Still looking. JOSH MATTHEWS P? PR stops looking and speaks to Josh. “THE CORPORATE CHAMPION” THA PUERTO RICAN Have you seen Thunderkid around here today? JOSH Uh, no, I haven’t. PR looks around. THA PUERTO RICAN You sure? Because if you’re lying, I will hunt you down, baby. I will hunt you down until the day I die! J. MATH No P.R. I’m sure. I have not seen Thunderkid around here. PRL looks around some more. THA PUERTO RICAN Okay. Sorry that I’m a little jumpy. It’s just that, I was in this position 2 weeks ago, talking to you, just like I am now, when that punk son of a jabroni, Thunderkid, ambushed me from behind and nearly took my head off! Thank Jebus I didn’t get injured, or else I would have missed Battlebowl! But I didn’t, and I made it to Battlebowl. I lost, yeah, but at least I was one of the final seven! The lucky seven if you will! So, I think I did pretty good this year. But don’t fret, my Lightning Bolts, Tha Puerto Rican guaran-damn-tees that one day, ONE DAY, I will get my World Title shot, and I will become the World Heavyweight Champion! JOSH MATTHEWS Okay PRL. Let’s talk about Thunderkid, who you’ve been feuding with recently, including a victory over him at The Great Angle Bash. PRL Ah Thunderkid. Good ol’ Thunderkid. (PRL looks around) You know, Thunderkid is really starting to piss me off. I defeated him in the ring, 1-2-3, at The Great Angle Bash, and yet here he is, bitching and complaining, whining. Why? Why, I ask? I beat you, TK. I pinned you! What’s the reason to complain? Oh, it’s because I “cheated” to beat you. Ha! I didn’t cheat at all! Boo. THA PUERTO RICAN I won fair and square. No fuss, no muss. PRL looks around. PRL And yet, even though I pinned Thunderkid 1-2-3, I will have another match with him in 2 weeks at OAOAST Syndicated. Now, even though I am pleased as punch to have a match on that show…why must it be with him? Huh? Do I have to embarrass Thunderkid yet again? I don’t want him to be humiliated twice in two months…well okay; I do, but…screw it. I am looking forward to this match! I can’t wait till I fight Thunderkid one more time at Syndicated. (PRL looks around some more) Because when I am in the ring with that jabroni, he will have a reason to whine and complain. Whine and complain that Tha Puerto Rican whooped his candy ass all over the ring! PRL looks around some more. THA PUERTO RICAN Thunderkid is just asking for another beatdown isn’t he? Well, before I go off to win the World Tag Team Titles with my boy Popick, let me just say this. (PRL looks around again.) Thunderkid, if you think I brought my very best the first time we met, just wait until Syndicated! Because then, you will see that I am the best OAOAST wrestler today! That I AM the best damn Puerto Rican athlete ever! AND that I am the greatest OAOAST superstar never to win the World Title! You have two weeks left before I leave you a broken bloodied mess. Hopefully afterwards, you’ll stop your bitching and realize that I am simply…better than you. HAHAHAHAHAAHA! So Thunderkid, watch out for the lightning strikes, because you will suffer a CORPORATE NIGHTMARE! Now if you exscuse, I have to go win the World Tag Team Titles. THE CHAMP HAS SPO-KUN~! Tha Puerto Rican looks around some more, and then leaves. JOSH MATTHEWS Guys, back to you. COLE What a match added to Syndicated on July 29th! “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican takes on Thunderkid in a rematch from The Great Angle Bash! COACH And coming up next, Tha Puerto Rican and Stephen Joseph Popick take on The Heavenly Rockers for the OAOAST World Tag Team Championships! COLE More HeldDOWN~! still to come in two minutes and two seconds! Commercial break Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted July 14, 2006 (edited) * DING * DING * DING * BUFFER LLLLLLLLLadies and gentlemen, the next contest LIVE on HeldDOWN~! is scheduled for one fall and is for the ONE & ONLY ANGLESAULT THREAD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP OF THE WORLD!! "YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" "THE CHAMP IS HERE!" "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" The lights dim as Know Your Role '99 hits, the Puerto Rican flag engulfing the AngleTron as Tha Puerto Rican, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez and Stephen Joseph step through the smoke-filled entranceway to a chorus of boos. Tha Puerto Rican threatening to bitch-slap any fan who so much as lays a finger on Ms. Lindsay or himself. BUFFER Introducing first, the challengers...accompanied to the ring by Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, at a total combine weight of 445 pounds, STEPHEN JOSEPH and the self-proclaimed "Corporate Champion"... THA PUERTO RRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIICANNNNNNNNN! Tha Puerto Rican and Stephen pose in the ring while pyro shoots off behind them. COLE Tha Puerto Rican and Stephen Joseph looking to make history. Should they walk out with the OAOAST tag team championship, Stephen Joseph will join a select few who have held both the OAOAST World Title and Tag Team Title while Tha Puerto Rican, despite all his past singles success, will attempt to win his first ever tag title with his so-called "Career Consultant". FAN'S SIGN: "STEPHEN JOSEPH'S ADVICE COST ME MY LIFE'S SAVINGS!" COACH Make no mistake about it, history will be made here tonight. Tha Puerto Rican and Stephen Joseph aren't the middle America ass-kissers like a Zack Malibu or Heavenly Rockers. They pride themselves on not how many t-shirts they sell in a month, but how many matches and titles they win. Fans continue to boo the challengers unmercifully as they pose on the turnbuckles. Their jeers turn to cheers as Know Your Role '99 is drown out by Heart-Shaped Box. "YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" BUFFER Their opponents...led to the ring by their manager Holly-Wood, straight from Sin City, the greatest rock 'n' wrestling band of all time and the reigning and defending professional wrestling tag team champions of the wooooooooorld... THE HEAVENLY RRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOCKERRRRRRRRRSSSSSSS! COLE THE CHAMPS ARE HERE! Big ovation for the Heavenly Rockers who appear on the multi-colored spotlighted stage wearing NOTHING but the tag team titles around their waist! Not for long, though. Synth and Logan remove their belts to reveal the world's smallest and tightest lime speedos! The women love it. The men...not so much. But then they remember it's the greatest rock 'n' wrestling band of all time and all is forgiven. The Heavenly Rockers boogie down the aisle high fiving every hand in sight on their way to the ring. COACH My eyes. My eyes! This has gotta be some kinda rib, Mikey. COLE (laughs) Well Coach, Logan's days as a bachelor are coming to an end. He's just having some fun before settling down, no doubt. You know, being one of the guys for a final time. COACH Or revenge against the Coach for revealing Lolly's wedding info on the Hot Newz line. I never knew a man could be so pretty-- I mean petty. For a second there I sounded like you. Heh. Everyone converged in the ring, both sides anxiously await the start of the match. The fans buzzing in anticipation as senior offical Earl Hebner checks the competitors for illegal objects hidden in their ring attire. All is clear and the bell is rung. To the outside go the "S's", Synth and Stephen Joseph. * DING DING * Tha Puerto Rican puts the badmouth on Logan Mann, giving him to the count of 10 to call it a night and head on backstage with the rest of the Heavenly Rockers or face his wrath. PR turns his back on Logan and proceeds to count from 10 on down. 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, etc. Ms. Lindsay and Stephen warn PR not to turn around as he reaches 1, the noise in the arena preventing him from hearing their words as he looks over his shoulder... * BOOM * ...and sees a FIST on its way! Down goes the Puerto Rican Menace, who rolls out of the ring to recharge. Shaking off the cobwebs, PR stalls for time by jawing with ringsiders and strategizing with Stephen and Ms. Lindsay. Enough is enough says Mann, his patience having runned out as he steps outside and hands Tha Puerto Rican and Stephen Joseph a DOUBLE COCONUT! Logan tosses the multi-time Puerto Rican Champion into the ring, ripping off the Puerto Rican flag bandana from around PR's head and cramming it down his throat as he backs Tha Puerto Rican into the corner, rubbing PR's shaved head before wailing away on the Corporate Champ. COACH I can't believe Logan would desecrate another nation's flag. Considering what people put Old Glory through, I thought he'd have a little more respect than that. COLE Some would say PR does a good job desecrating the Puerto Rican flag all on his own. COACH They're wrong. Tha Puerto Rican is a hero down there. Did you know he gives away millions of dollars to the poor? COLE What?! Who told you that? COACH The Corporate Champ himself. COLE You gotta take everything that arrogant young man says with a grain of salt. He probably takes that money and laughs at the poor, not help. Sent into the ropes PR leapfrogs over Logan and hits off the other side, performing a flawless 360 reverse leapfrog on the rebound and brings Logan down with an armdrag. PR feeds his ego, giving himself a quick round of applause so that he can nail Logan rising up to a knee with a nasty Shining Wizard! ONE... TWO... THR-- KICKOUT! COLE Oh, PR nearly had him. He and Stephen Joseph found themselves a half a count away from being crowned the new tag team champions. PR knows it as well, signaling he was thisclose from the 3 count. The Corporate Champ lays the smackdown on Logan Mann in the corner, spitting on his left hand for effect only to swing and miss as Logan ducks the blow. Logan retaliates with his Macho Man-like quick left jabs, grabbing the top of PR's forehead and connecting with a big right hand sqaure between the eyes. PR counters Mann's Irish whip attempt, setting low early and completely missing the tag made by the Heavenly Rockers. When no one arrivals on sight he looks up...DOUBLE SYNCHRONIZED DROPKICK! Synth and Logan's double-team adventures aren't done yet. They catch Stephen Joseph coming in with a double Japanese armdrag, then clothesline the most hated man in the OAOAST to the arena floor. Tha Puerto Rican attacks from behind...and is backdropped over the top and down onto Stephen outside!! COLE Oh, my! The Heavenly Rockers in complete control. We gotta take a break from this hot action, ladies and gentlemen. Stay with us. We'll be right back. Holly-Wood and the Heavenly Rockers fire up the crowd while Ms. Lindsay consoles PR and Stephen as we go to break. SCHIAVONE Hi again, wrestling fans. Tony Schiavone and Jesse "The Body" Ventura reminding you to tune-in on July 30th for what promises to be the biggest event to hit the world of syndication in the history of television as the OAOAST presents a mega edition of Syndicated from beautiful Melbourne, Australia! VENTURA Find out why fans across the country and around the world call OAOAST Syndicated "the hour of power" as Tony Brannigan leads his team of fellow Black T member Dan Black, "Cowboy" Bill Watts, World Heavyweight Champion Alfdogg and their last mystery partner against the team captained by Australia's native son Axel and his band of mercenaries... Drek Stone, Hoff and their yet to be announced mystery partners in a Captains Fall match! The only way to win -- you gotta pin the other team's captain! To the victor goes the spoils...and control of the OAOAST. Heh heh heh. SCHIAVONE All that and more, July 30th. Be sure to mark your calenders, fans. This will be one event you don't want to miss. OAOAST Syndicated, July 30th. Returning from commerical, the team of Stephen Joseph and Tha Puerto Rican now have the momentum as Stephen rams the Synthmeister face-first into the top turnbuckle. COLE Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen. Michael Cole and the Coach broadcasting live, as always, from Sofa Central. As we went to break, the Heavenly Rockers were in control, but how quickly the momentum changes, Coach. COACH You got that right, Mikey. It looked like the Heavenly Rockers were gonna run away with the match, but Tha Puerto Rican and Stephen Joseph have come back strong. The sound of flesh smacking flesh fills the air as Stephen Joseph brutalizes Synth with a series of double chops, the former World Champion then whipping Synth to the far corner, following him in and catching a boot to the face! Synth charges out and takes Stephen down with a swinging neckbreaker. Then he climbs up to the middle turnbuckle and delivers his patent SECOND ROPE ELBOW DROP!! ONE... TWO... THR-- KICKOUT! Synth smartly tags in the fresher man, he and Logan perfectly executing a double suplex before connecting with a pair of spingboard elbow drops! ONE... TWO... TH-- KICKOUT! Mann punishes the sternum of Stephen Joseph with several double-axehandle smashes. Logan taking a moment to deeply inhale, shaking his hands in mock exhaustion...then stomps the hell outta Stephen! COLE Oh yeah! How does it feel, Stephen Joseph? A receipt for your actions at Battlebowl, you soulless bastard! COACH I thought our job was to be unbias, Mikey? COLE What do you care? You the biggest shill here. Stephen wraps himself around the ropes thinking it'll protect him from Logan since it's one of the oldest rules in wrestling. But as we know, rules are meant to be broken and the Heavenly Rockers are none too afraid to break those rules. Stephen finding that out the hard way, Loga Mann trying to gouge his eyes out! Logan picks Stephen up and shoots him off to the ropes, but Stephen reverses and Logan takes an ENZURIGI from Tha Puerto Rican! Mann stumbles forward, Stephen hooking and hitting THE FALLEN ANGEL! COACH We're gonna have new champions right here. I feel it. COLE Tha Puerto Rican and Ms. Lindsay ready to celebrate. Here's the cover! ONE... TWO... THREE-- NO! Synth breaks up the count and saves the Heavenly Rockers tag titles as a result, at least for now. Tag made by Stephen and PR. Tha Puerto Rican firmly plants his feet on the ring apron before springboarding to the top rope, nailing Logan with his version of the 450 splash...THE SAN JUAN JAM!! ONE... TWO... THREE! NOOOOOOOOOO!! "YEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Logan got the shoulder up, but just barely. Tha Puerto Rican motions that's it as he sets Logan for the Corporate Nightmare. But there's still fight left in Logan, who drives PR into the corner and repeatedly thrusts the shoulder into the midsection and swinging wildly at PR's head. Irish whip, PR performing a headstand on the top rope as he floats over an incoming Logan Mann, sending him crashing in and out of the corner. Tha Puerto Rican grabs Logan by the back of the head and races to the ropes, hurdling over the ropes and snapping Logan's neck off the top rope. COLE NECKSNAP! Oh, my. Tha Puerto Rican and Stephen Joseph have done their homework. Remember, it was at Zero Hour where Logan Mann nearly broke his neck after a 69 Driver from the Man of Tomorrow. Tha Puerto Rican asks for and receives a peck on the cheek from Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, then along with Stephen Joseph and Tha Puerto Rican display their own double-team skills. Stephen executing a succession of snapmares as PR slides back into the ring and charges toward a seated Logan Mann, leaping over and snapping him straight back into the mat with a neckbreaker! LIGHTNING SHOCK! COACH Aw, yeah, Mikey. PR and Ms. Lindsay are the real first couple of the OAOAST. And they're naturally beautiful people, too. Joseph exits, PR covers. ONE... TWO... THRE-- NO! COLE For the second time tonight, Synth must breakup the count to save Logan and the tag titles. COACH It's time for everyone in the arena and those watching at home to start accepting the fact Tha Puerto Rican and Stephen Joseph are gonna become the new OAOAST Tag Team Champions. The Heavenly Rockers had a helluva run with the belts, but they're goin' home with PR and SJ, baby boy. "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" COLE The Corporate Champ basking in the glory of being the most hated ring currently in the ring, flipping off the crowd in a very unsportsmanlike move. I say currently because there's the tag to Stephen Joseph, and we all know his story. Stephen scoopes Logan up and delivers a high angle neckbreaker. But rather than making the tag Stephen delivers another high angle neckbreaker. Joseph scoopes Logan up for a third helping when Logan pushes up and floats over, drilling Stephen with a WICKED... NO! Stephen ducks the left hook and nails Mann with an atomic drop, before running off the ropes and spiking face-first into the mat with a bulldog! ONE... TWO... THR-- KICKOUT! HOLLY Come on, Logan! Holly and Synth rally the fans behind Mann, which isn't hard to do in this pro-Heavenly Rockers crowd. But Logan has his work cut out for him as PR and Stephen make yet another tag. Vertical suplex by Tha Puerto Rican. He rolls through and delivers another, rolling through again, allowing the blood to flow down to the head as he gestures "You can't see me" before connecting with a slingshot suplex! COACH THE CORPORATE TRIFECTA! COLE How much more can one man take? Tha Puerto Rican applauding his effort while Stephen Joseph and Ms. Lindsay blow smoke up his ass. Tha Puerto Rican is ready to follow up with his next move, the infamous FIVE KNUCKLE SHUFFLE...BUT LOGAN MOVES AND PR DRIVES HIS FIST INTO THE CANVAS! "YOU CAN'T SEE ME!" The fans with their own F-U to the Corporate Champ as Logan uses whatever strength he has left to roll over...AND MAKE THE TAG! "YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" But so does PR. Synth and Stephen enter and begin trading haymakers, the Synthmeister getting the better end of it. Irish whip to the corner, Joseph shooting in, out, over and down courtesy of a backdrop. Synth off the near side with a flying spinning back elbow, knocking Stephen off his feet. The Synthmeister ascends to the top, timing his leap...and is caught in midair with a front full nelson. SYNCHRONICITY BOMB! "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!" ONE... TWO... THREE...NO!! Save made by Logan. Earl Hebner scolding Mann for the illegal tatic, enabling Joseph to sneak up and land a low blow. Stephen looks to put Logan out of his misery with a neckbreaker, but Logan fires off a round of back elbows to the ribcage, spinning Stephen around...WICKED LEFT HOOK~! Fortunately for Stephen Joseph, it was more of a glancing blow, but still enough to send him stumbling through the ropes and to the floor. Tha Puerto Rican from behind with a spinning wheel kick, and Mann follows Joseph outside. PR boosts to the crowd, pointing at his noggin. His taunting almost backfiring on him as Synth comes up from behind, but he recovers just in the nick of time to plant Synth into the mat with a Rock-style spinebuster! Tha Puerto Rican pops up and stands tall over Synth's head. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COACH Here it comes, Mikey. The most electrifying move in parody e-fed entertainment! PR spits on his elbow pad and throws it down in Synth's face, going coast to coast as he strides across the ring, mocking the Heavenly Rockers love for rock 'n roll by playing air guitar before delivering the big elbow...NO! COLE Synth telegraphed the IntenseZone Elbow and rolled out of harm's way. His funny bone doing anything but laughing at the moment, PR remains down as Synth stuffs it right back at Tha Puerto Rican, playing air guitar on his leg before dropping it down across the chest in his version of the IntenseZone/Corporate Elbow! Synth covers but is quickly informed by Earl that PR isn't the legal man. Synth searches for Stephen and is blindsided by the former OAOAST Champion. Up-to-date on Synth's history of arm trouble Stephen locks on the HIGHER CALLING! Stephen yanking on the arms and upper body in hopes of a submission, but the hold is broken up by Logan. Tha Puerto Rican rakes Mann's eyes, momentarily blinding the Heavenly Rockers vocalist. Logan encounters a close call, countering PR's Lightning Strike with a straight down slam. He scoopes the San Juan native up for Percussion, which also happens to bring Ms. Lindsay up on the apron as well. She tests Logan's fidelity, seductively removing her top and succeeds in grabbing Mann's attention. Logan drops PR to the ground to get a better look at the Latina Bitch. COACH It's the last temptation of Logan Mann. And no man, not even Logan, can resist Ms. Lindsay, Cole. He will if Holly has her way. The Angel of Death pulls Ms. Lindsay off the apron and strips her of her clothing, leaving Ms. Lindsay in only her bra and panties! You know what happens next? CAT FIIIIIIIIGHT! COACH Was that a nipple? I think I saw a nipple, Mikey. Oh hell, why am I asking you? You never seen a nipple in your life. Earl Hebner all too happily heads outside to seperate the two women. Left alone in the ring, Tha Puerto Rican uses the CORPORATE TITLE to level Logan. He's about to do the same to Synth, being held onto by Stephen, when THUNDERKID hits the ring via the crowd and tackles Synth to the mat, causing PR to BLAST STEPHEN WITH THE BELT!! "YEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" COLE It's Thunderkid! Thunderkid! Thunderkid! TK getting him some of PR, clotheslining the Corporate Champ out of the ring. PR has enough of this, exiting through the crowd like a theif in the night and as far away from Thunderkid as possible. But it might not be far enough since TK gives chase. COACH Run, PR, run! Synth helps Logan shake off the cobwebs, the two proceeding to give Stephen a double dose of PERCUSSION DDT! Not even a wrestler the caliber of Stephen Joseph can survive that. Or can he? As luck would have it, Earl happened to miss all the chaos while lusting over the catfight. He crawls into the ring and counts... ONE... TWO... THREE!!! * DING DING DING * BUFFER The winners and still champions: THE HEAVENLY RRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOCKERRRRRRRRRSSSSSSS! COACH Damnit! And damn Thunderkid! We would've had new tag team champions if it weren't for him, Cole. You know it. I know it. The people know it. COLE Well that's just too damn bad. Go whine on the Internet like everybody else does, you big baby. That won't change the fact the Heavenly Rockers are still the OAOAST World tag team champions, but it'll help you blow some steam. CUT TO: Dan Black and Tony Brannigan glued to the monitors inside their private dressing room, viewing the in-house feed of the show while the folks at home see them nodding in approval as the Heavenly Rockers and Holly-Wood continue their post-match celebration in the ring. COLE Hey, what's this? I don't claim to be an expert on body language, ladies and gentlemen, but it seems to me Black T were impressed by the Heavenly Rockers. This is about as much emotion you'll ever see from the Trans-Atlantic Wrecking Crew of Black T. They've let it be known they want a shot at the OAOAST tag team championship. But can they handle the chase and still fend off the 3 man power trip of Axel, Drek Stone and Hoff? Commercial break Edited July 21, 2006 by Tony149 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted July 14, 2006 The commercials are over, the touring schedule has been shared with the viewers and the obligatory OAOAST.com reference has been made, now it’s time for what you REALLY want to see Asmodai walking down the aisle with a scowl on his face (it’s his only facial expression these days) You all know that’s really what you came to see, don’t deny it;) and Asmodai knows it as he arrogantly strides down the aisle stopping on the ring steps to raise his hands Crucifix style before bellowing "SATAN IS MY HOMEBOY!!" COACH Well alrighty then COLE Yeah that’s super special there Asmodai. I hate it when white guys use the word "Homeboy" COACH *YOU* hate it? MICHAEL BUFFER And his opponent, weighing in at 170 pounds from Baja California but representing Mexico AND Japan, making his OAOAST in ring debut tonight - ULTIMO VILLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAÑO X!! Kobe drums interspersed with a Mariachi band announcers Ultimo Villaño’s arrival much better than Michael Buffer ever could. UVX steps through the curtains looking ready for action as he finally gets to perform in front of a live audience. COACH So let me get this straight he’s either Japanese. . . or Mexican? COLE Apparently so COACH Yeah I can see how they’re so hard to tell apart COLE Can you really? COACH *Slaps forhead* Ultimo Villaño raises his black with red trim Sombrero in the air, greeting the people as he head for the ring. When he passes by the entrance a series of red fireworks go off * BOOM!!*BOOM!!*BOOM!!*BOOM!!*BOOM!!* Apparently scaring the crap out of the youngster as he flinches and then decides to run to the ring, sliding under the bottom rope with ease and grace. Well some ease and grace, alright just ease, no grace as he gets his cape tangled around the bottom rope when he tries to slide under it COACH (Under his breath) What a moron COLE Erm. . . Ultimo Villaño seems to have some sort of wardrobe issue Asmodai can’t help but shake his head and roll his eyes at Ultimo Villaño’s misfortune and just patiently waits in the corner until the referee has had a chance to help untangle his accident prone opponent. It appears that the Foot Soldier is saying a quick prayer to his dark lord below as the referee helps Ultimo Villaño remove his cape all together so that they can get the match under way, but before he can even signal for the bell all hell breaks lose as Bruce Blank appears through the crowd, leaps up on the apron and then waffles Asmodai in the face with his ever present barbwire baseball bat *WHAM!!* COLE This has gone entirely too far! Someone stop this idiot COACH Man he really can’t stand Satan’s Foot Soldiers can he? Asmodai crumbles to the canvas bleeding from several lacerations while Bruce steps over the top rope into the ring and then jumps Ultimo Villaño from behind with a clothesline. Ignoring the boos and the jeers Bruce grabs UVX and whips him into the corner and then follows up with a big boot square on the jaw of the unfortunate Luchador. *BLAM!!* ZACK!! ZACK!! ZACK!! COLE The fans wants Zack Malibu to put a stop to this, and quite frankly so do I! COACH I don’t care who stops it, Zack, Alfdogg, Faqu, Deputy Dawg, Al Gore - ANYBODY!! Bruce presses Ultimo Villaño over his head, holds him there for a moment and then drops him down onto his shoulder before power slamming the masked man. The King of Pain seems totally undeterred by the bottles and cups and other garbage being thrown at him as he quickly gets down on one knee and just like the other two times he’s been out here pulls back Ultimo Villaño’s mask to get a look at his face. COLE What IS he looking for? Again he looks angry when he sees the face under the mask and just pulls the mask down again. But this time he doesn’t just leave the ring, instead he motions for Michael Buffer to hand over his microphone so that he can speak COACH Oh crap I think I forgot my "White Trash" to English dictionary at home Bruce grabs the microphone from Buffer and then turns his attention back towards the fans and the camera guy on the apron. The big man just stands there for a moment, almost as if he’s trying to compose himself, calm himself down a little bit before he says anything. ZACK!! ZACK!! ZACK!! BRUCE BLANK Come on out Malibu, I’m done playing, I’m done letting you run around disguised and attacking me from behind! COACH Isn’t Zack actually on tour with HI-YA? COLE Yes he is Coach, he’s in Japan BRUCE BLANK I know you’re here somewhere, hiding like always - hiding behind a fake beard and a camera, hiding behind a mask, hiding behind an injury. Come out and face me like a man Malibu! COLE That’s not going to happen, not that he wouldn’t show up but he’s in Japan! COACH Someone buy this guy a clue huh? BRUCE BLANK Yeah I’ve heard the excuse this week - He’s booked in Japan and he has to honor that commitment - BULLSHIT! Just another excuse from you! That’s all you’ve ever been Malibu! We hardly show up here, bust a few skulls and then you start to get cold feet, you chicken out because you don’t approve of our methods and you start to make excuses to your friends here in the federation ZACK!! ZACK!! ZACK!! BRUCE BLANK Oh can it YOU SUCK!! YOU SUCK!! YOU SUCK!! Bruce has to stop for a moment as the chant is drowning out anything Bruce has to say, he doesn’t put the microphone up to his mouth until the fans calm down a little bit. BRUCE BLANK I ain’t a man for excuses Malibu, I don’t make them, I don’t take them - School’s out you won the Hooligans’ their 6 man tag titles, HeldDOWN you jumped me from behind. . . Did you really think you’d get away with that?? ZACK!! ZACK!! ZACK!! BRUCE BLANK I mean honestly did you think I’d just roll over and take it? Or maybe you figured that you’re in Japan, what can Blank do? *heh* There are 6 or 7 people here tonight that can answer that, 6 or 7 people who got what you should have had Malibu if you hadn’t run off. I know you don’t care about guys like Belial or Cardinal Fang or this masked kid laying in the ring over there, it’s not about them anyway. Bruce closes his eyes, focusing on keeping his emotions in control as hard as it seems. Then after a moment or two his breathing seems less agitated, more calm and collected. BRUCE BLANK It’s simple Malibu, the longer you avoid me the longer you cause those you associate with to suffer. Up until now you’ve only seen a fraction of what I can do, of what I’m willing to do to get the job done. I’ve got a warning to all of OAOAST, if you’re a friend of Zack Malibu, if you’re an acquaintance of Zack, if you’ve ever greeted Zack Malibu with a handshake and a smile back stage then you better watch your back because I’m going coming for you, one at a time until Malibu stops running away. COACH Anyone who’s even an acquaintance of Zack Malibu? Would you qualify Cole? COLE What? No, come on now why would you want to spread such vicious rumors about me? COACH You’re sounding a bit nervous Michael, come on now how bad can it be? COLE Oh you’re just laughing because you’re not involved at all. BRUCE BLANK OAOAST, be careful where you go, who you talk to - Associating with Zack Malibu will bring you a world of hurt and that’s a promise! Bruce throws the microphone back to Michael Buffer who has to dive to catch it. COACH It’s no big deal Cole, not like anyone back stage has warmed up to Malibu after he brought the Wildcards into the federation COLE Tell Bruce that! And tell him I’ve only talked to Zack in a professional capacity. . . please tell him? Please? And on that note we fade out. ANGLESLAM 2006 The Hottest Night on the OAOAST Calendar 7 Weeks Away! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted July 14, 2006 Gilbraltar's gauntlet Fade to black Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted July 14, 2006 Creditos: NYU Alfdogg Bruce Blank King Cucaracha Richard Zack Malibu Tony149 Ed Wood Caulfield KingPK ©2006 OAOAST Entertainment. All rights reserved. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
