SJL Metal - June 5, 2002

June 6, 2002

BOOM!

KA-BOOOOOOOOOOOM!

The pyro explodes! The crowd goes wild! Yes, ladies and gentlemen, Metal is on live! The pyro erupts all over the stage as the Metal theme plays over the PA system. The fans are screaming, holding up signs from “I <3 YOU SYDNEY” to “WE’LL MISS YOU, MAFIA!” and don’t forget the “GET THE ‘F’ OUT!” sign in row U, section 109. The pyro show stops, as the camera pans to the announce team of Edwin, Axis, and The Suicide King, who is looking over his shoulder at all the signs.

(King) – Get the ‘F’ out? What the hell…what the hell…

(Edwin) – I really have no clue what that means but…WELCOME, ONE AND ALL, TO SMARKS JUNIOR LEAUGE METAL! WE’RE COMING TO YOU LIVE, YES, THAT’S RIGHT…LIVE FROM THE SOLD OUT FROM THE SPIDERMAN’S ENCHANTED PALACE IN RICHMOND, VIRGINA! AND TONIGHT, WE HAVE AN ALL OUT WAR IN A TRIPLE THREAT MATCH, WHERE CED ORDONEZ GOES AGAINST Z WHO GOES AGAINST “DEATHWISH” DANNY WILLIAMS FOR THE NUMBER-ONE CONTENDERSHIP OF THE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE!

(Axis) – Plus, it’s going to be a match of hardcore experience, where “TNT” Taylor Nicholas Thompson puts his Telivision Title on the line tonight in a ladder match against “The Franchise” Mak Francis!

(King) – But don’t forget, this may be a match for the TV Title, but Mak will also put his Gold Medals that he won in the Olympics! This match isn’t just about the TV Title, this match is also about pride, and Mak Francis is certainly a competitor full of pride to put his precious gold medals on the line in this match! That’ll be an emotional match to say the least.

(Edwin) – And don’t forget that we’ve also got…

All of the sudden, “Ashes in the Fall” by Rage Against The Machine blasts over the PA System, and cuts the commentary. All eyes turn to the entrance way, as Flexxx and Poisyn come out, dressed in trench coats and black dark sunglasses. They step out from under the SmarksTron, as the fans let down a chorus of boos on the duo. Flexxx and Poisyn flash a look at eachother, as their eyes look away and all shove their arms up into the air in a New Sound salute, but that only causes more jeers from the fans as they put their hands down and march toward the entrance way.

(Axis) – Here comes the ‘New Sound’, a group of renegades and rebels to say the least, but it’s demented to The Flunkmasta Flexxx and Poisyn. Insane Luchador dropped out soon after the group was formed, Dundal was bumped to the WF, and Mafia had to retire from wrestling for “family problems” as far as we know.

Flexxx and Poisyn climb up the steel ring steps and into the ring, as “Ashes In The Fall” fade, and Poisyn leans under the middle rope for a microphone. Funyon hands Poisyn the mic, as Poisyn looks back at the crowd in disgust under his black dark glasses.

(Poisyn) – What’s up Virgina?

As always, the crowd jeers at Poisyn.

(Poisyn) – Thought so. Back to your old tricks, I see.

(Edwin) – Old tricks? What the hell does he mean…

(Poisyn) – You fans are all alike…all the same…we go from town to town, putting on a great show for you, putting on athletics like you’ve never seen before…and what happens? You boo. You jeer. You act like the shitheads that you are…

(Fans) – BOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Poisyn looks out at the crowd, as he throws his sunglasses on the floor, his rage increasing

(Poisyn) – Well, you want to know what?! I’M SICK OF IT! I’M SICK OF WRESTLING TO GET YOUR RESPECT! I’VE EARNED MY RESPECT WHEN I WAS FOURTEEN WORKING FOR MY GRANDFATHER’S WRESTLING LEAUGE!!! I DON’T NEED ANY OF YOUR PASSION THAT YOU STUPID FANS BRING! YOU DON’T KNOW A DAMN THING ABOUT WHAT WE’VE BEEN THROUGH! YOU ALL CAN STICK—

Flexxx who puts a hand up quickly cuts off Poisyn. He takes in several more deep breaths, as Flexxx takes the microphone from his hand.

(Flexxx) – What my enraged friend here is trying to say is that basically all you rednecks don’t respect ‘The New Sound’. All we’ve been trying to do since we got in this bitch of a leauge is make changes. Be rebels.

The fans begin an “ASSHOLE” chant, as Flexxx stops suddenly. Poisyn just glances around the ring, looking out at the rows of fans.

(Axis) – I think these fans may be right.

(King) – Axis! How DARE you!

The chant dies down, as Flexxx speaks once again.

(Flexxx) – Alright. I know you people are quite stupid, so I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that so I don’t have to jump that barricade and show you why they call me the Flunkmasta Flex…ex…ex!

The fans boo Flexxx’s remark, as he smirks.

(Flexxx) – Ah, yes. Scared of the Flunkmasta, are we? True enough. But back to the main leaguer. Just as Poisyn said, when I came into this league, I wanted change. We wanted change. And we could tell that…YOU (Points to fans) …wanted change! So we did. And what did we get?

(King) – What was that, Flexxx?

(Flexxx) – COMPLETE UTTER BULLSHIT!

(Edwin) – Ugh. The fans didn’t force the hatred on them, they loved them for a while, but the change went too far…it’s basically their own fault…

(Flexxx) – You booed us! You jeered at us! You pissed us off! We tried to give you everything you wanted, and what do we get? NOTHING! NOTHING AT ALL, but your hatred! I can’t believe that…wait…

Flexxx’s eyes drift off to the front row, where he sees a woman. A very…*ahem*…shapely woman! Flexxx takes off his glasses and puts them in his trenchcoat, as Poisyn eyes him carefully. Flexxx exits the ring via the second rope, still looking at the woman. The walks right up to her, as she scoffs, not impressed at all by Flexxx. Flexxx walks right up to her and smiles.

(Flexxx) – What’s your name, sweetheart?

The fans boo the ignorance of Flexxx, as the woman simply ignores the womanizer. She sighs, as she leans over into the microphone.

(Woman) – Jenny.

(Edwin) – Oh, come on. What an ass Flexxx is. He’s making a speech on how he’s been disrespected all these months, and he gets distracted like this?

(King) – Hey, if I were in Flexxx’s position, I would do the same damn thing!

(Flexxx) – Got a last name, Jenny?

(Jenny, annoyed) – Robonson. Jenny Robonson.

(Flexxx, chuckling) – Cute name. Jenny Robonson…music to my ears. How old are you, Miss Robonson?

(Jenny) – 23. I’m a student at the College of William and Mary, and studying dance.

(Flexxx) – Dance, eh? I’m sure I know a few dances we could do all…night…long…

(Jenny, grabbing the mic from Flexxx) – Flexxx, you can ‘dance’ your way out of here, because your not getting any tonight.

An astounding “OOOOOOOOOOOH” from the crowd echoes through the arena. Even Poisyn, who is leaning over the top rope, watching the conversation, cringes at the comment. Flexxx just looks away, laughing. Then turns back to Jenny.

(Flexxx) – Playing *hard* to get, I see?

(Jenny) – I’m going to kick you somewhere real *hard* if you don’t get outta here!

The fans begin to laugh now, but Flexxx ignores their comments.

(Flexxx) – Ah, you women are all alike. Hard to get but sweet. Veeeery sweet. Tell me Jenny. I’m going to ask you a question that I haven’t asked in a long, long time…

(Jenny, sighing) – What?

(Flexxx) – Baby, tonight, after Metal DO YOU WANT TO MESS WITH THE X-FACTORS OF THA FLUNKMASTA?!

The crowd pauses to a silent hush, as Jenny begins to laugh. She playfully leans over and answers Flexxx…

(Jenny) - …Um…no? What part of ‘no’ don’t you understand? My is not a check-in station, thank you very much.

(Flexxx) – Oh, come on, baby, be serious…

Flexxx now leans over the barricade, touching Jenny’s shoulders. She tries to struggle away from him, but Flexxx doesn’t let go.

(Jenny) – Let go!

(Flexxx) – I’m just tryin’ to have a little…fun…

Flexxx leans over and slap’s Jenny’s ass, and almost instantly she slaps him right across the face! Poisyn’s eyes go wide, as Flexxx backs away from the woman. He slides under the bottom rope, into the ring, as the crowd is still baffled in a hushed silence. Flexxx then looks up, his eyes wide in rage.

(Flexxx) – THAT’S IT!

The crowd explodes.

(Flexxx) – THAT’S FUCKING IT! I CAN’T TAKE THIS BULLSHIT ANYMORE! I’VE HAD IT UP TO HERE! WOMEN ARE SLAPPING ME IN THE FACE! YOU FANS SLAPPING ME IN THE FACE! I DON’T BELIEVE THIS! I DON’T NEED YOUR RESPECT, AND FRANKLY, *WE* DON’T WANT IT! BECAUSE TONIGHT, WE WILL HAVE A NEW MEMBER OF ‘THE NEW SOUND’, AND YOU’LL GO UNDER CHANGES THAT YOU’LL NEVER EXPECT! IT WILL AFFECT ME…HIM (Points to Poisyn) ….YOU… (Points to fans) …AND THIS ENTRIE LEAUGE!

::Scccchhhtt::

Flexxx throws the microphone down as “Ashes In The Fall” start up again. Flexxx exits the ring and is followed by Poisyn, as the commentators and fans reflect on this.

(Edwin) – New sound…under changes? What more changes can we have? And who the hell is this new member?

(Axis) – I don’t know, Edwin, but I smell a rat. I big one. And I don’t like this ‘New Sound’ idea of a change, either.

(King) – Phftt. Your just afraid of change, which is normal. Maybe it’ll be a good change. Maybe fans will start respecting ‘The New Sound’…

(Edwin) – Respect my ass. Something stinks, and I have a feeling that it’s not going to be pretty when it happens…

The camera zooms in on the enraged Flexxx and the following Poisyn marching up the entrance ramp as Metal starwipes into a commercial…

June 6, 2002

The following contest is a match! Says Funyon. I cannot type quotation marks. I said that, not Funyon. “ “ Those are quotation marks. Right.

“Introducing first, weighing 215 pounds, Scott Reid!”

Some Wesley Willis song plays, and Scott Reid comes down to the ring, and rolls inside. He does some stuff.

“I HAVE NO PANTS!” screams Axis.

“That’s NTD’s line-” King starts to say...

”DON’T YOU SASS ME! I’LL LOAD YOU IN A FUCKING CANNONBALL AND SHOOT YOU TO THE MOON AND BY GOD THAT WILL TEACH THAT MOON TO SASS ME!”

“And then... Creed!” says Funyon.

Creed comes out wearing a Winger shirt. His penis is hanging out of his pants and he pees all over the floor as he walks. Into the ring he goes. He notices his fly is open and fixes it.

“This match is actually a triple threat match! And now... here is... the BUTT-Puzzler!”

“By god!” screams Edwin. “It’s a new double no-show guy! In the vein of Elk, G0R0, and Johnny Generic... and this one is all about da BUTT!”

He comes out to music I haven’t determined yet, wearing a red bodysuit, with yellow padding over his rear. He runs through the crowd, and punches Scott Reid in the face, who starts to cry. BUTT-Puzzler leans down and licks the tears up, before pulling out a pocketknife and carving a teddy bear into Scott Reid’s chest. He smears his hands in Scott Reid’s blood and bathes his face in it, before throwing him over the top rope. He grabs Scott Reid by the hair, and tosses him out of the ring, chucking him up the ramp into the puddle of his own urine. He puts a foot on top and the ref counts

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

*DING DING DING*

“Here is your winner... the BUTT-Puzzler!”

“By god... I guess we’ve all learned something today, folks,” says Axis.

“Yup. Don’t double no-show a match when Thoth is marking,” adds Edwin. "Even though he wasn't marking... umm... right. Bollocks and all that rot."

“Yup,” adds King.

“Let’s go play Dance Dance Revolution because Thoth thinks we should, even if it doesn’t mesh with our characters,” says Edwin.

“Okay!” adds Axis.

“You can’t play, Axis! You weigh 300 pounds!” counters King

“Oh... oh right.”

So Edwin and King leave the table as Axis starts to speak.

“A man named Schroedinger had a theory once; put a cat in a box. Assume the cat needs neither food, nor water, nor even air to survive. In the box with the cat is a vial of poison, a decaying molecule, and a trigger. Every hour, the decaying molecule has a fifty percent chance of releasing a particle that will activate the trigger, breaking the vial and killing the cat.

Schroedinger believed two things about his theory. One, that while the cat was in the box, in was neither alive or dead, but in a quasi-state of both. And two, that opening the box itself had an effect on the results of the experiment; that the cat was neither truly alive or dead...

Until the box was opened.

---

“Renduo! Renduo!” a loud, shrilly voice calls. A girl bounds through the golden, reflective halls, in search of her big brother. Her name is Rindua, and she is full of life; her broad smile and red cheeks showing her enjoyment of her existence. She passes through a tall, bronze arch into a grand, circular room, the size of which dwarfs its inhabitants. The walls, rife with brilliant, colorful murals that tell hundreds of stories, curve up towards a single point, creating a dome. The top of the dome is translucent, and light shines through, creating a smattering of distorted murals on the floor where it hits.

“Renduo! There you are!” Rindua hops towards a young man, standing near the center of the room. There is a railing around the inner circumference of the room, and beyond that, in the very center of the room, is a flickering blue sphere with other splotches of assorted colors on it; some white, some green, a little brown. The entire thing is a projection of light; it has no mass. The young man, with long hair to match that of his female counterpart, and eyes that seem to hold millennia of knowledge and experience, turns to greet her.

“Rindua, can’t you leave me alone for just a minute?” he says with a chuckle and a smile, brushing a hand through his hair. The girl, wearing long, billowy blue pants, and a maroon vest with yellow left lines adorning it, jabs Renduo mockingly, who is wearing the same outfit, with red pants and a white vest. “Ohh, you! You’re always looking at that globe! Doesn’t it ever get boring?”

Renduo chuckles as he puts an arm around Rindua’s waist, bringing her closer. “Look here, sister,” he says softly. “Do you know what that blue sphere represents?” Rindua’s smile fades a bit, as she ponders the ball of light before her. Shaking her head no, she turns toward her big brother expectantly. Renduo points a finger at the globe: “That globe represents a world.”

“A world?” Rindua asks, quizzically. “What’s a world?”

Renduo sighs, clearing his lungs so he can inhale deeply. “A world... is a place where life grows, and people exist.”

“People like you and me?”

“Well... not exactly. Not like you and me.”

“Well, like how then? Do they wear clothes? Play games? Talk with their friends?”

“Yes, yes, and yes,” answers Renduo, smiling warmly.

“So, how are they different?”

“Here, let me show you.””

Edwin and King return. “Have fun?” asks Edwin.

“I... don’t... know...” comes the reply.

Starwipe.

June 6, 2002

Sydney Sky walks through the backstage area while SJL’s weekly Metal program takes place out in the arena proper. She wears knee high combat boots, a plaid skirt and a white dress blouse over a black tank top that shows off her tight stomach. Despite her ‘raver schoolgirl’ attire, she feels far from hip or sexy as the bags under her eyes and the solemn expression on her face would attest too from many sleepless nights recently. She is thankful not to be booked on the card, but showed up anyway for reasons her psyche hides from her conscious mind. With the stress of being the new World Champion that the wrestlers and powers at be are still leery to put their faith in, she also has the added strain of Frost’s strange and growing infatuation with her. In her mind, she doesn’t think he’s such a bad guy, just a little awkward in getting a girl’s attention. It doesn’t have to be all big production numbers and grand macho posturing. He just needs to…

Her mental wanderings are broken up by running headlong into a mammoth six-foot teddy bear that seems to have popped out of nowhere. Sydney stands nose to the nose with furry brown beast wearing nothing but a red bowtie and locks onto his sweet, chocolate brown eyes.

Frost: (in cooing tones from behind the bear) “For you. I contemplated giving you one of my many self-stuffed projects from my den, but decided that this would be more befitting your feminine tastes.”

Sky puts her hands up to the bear’s face and holds and rubs his silky fur cheeks around in her fingers. She gives out a slight giggle, but quickly catches herself and shoots a look up at Frost. He is in his wrestling gear, all oiled up for his upcoming match. While there is a certain softness in his eyes, his body is still hard and rigid and Sky can clearly feel the evil tendencies of violence and destruction radiating from his body.

Sky: “It almost would have been better if you did give me some bird or beast you taxidermied yourself. At least that is some element of you I could try to relate to and something I know you spent time with making. You can’t just buy my love with flowers and gifts or even world titles. I don’t know if you listen to a word I say, but I don’t know you and something like this (she takes the bear by his left shoulder and tilts it up to Frost) that you bought out of a store doesn’t let me into your world any more.”

Frost: “Are you saying that would win you over? To show what’s in my soul, but I thought I already did that. I’ve told you how I felt in front of millions, no matter how much it might cheapen me in the petty fans eyes. I’ve kissed you softly in front of those same millions so you could feel but a cinder of the flame burning in my heart for you.”

Sky’s body tenses up slightly and cheeks flush a brief, bright red at the memory of the near phantom kiss Frost graced her with on Crimson while she was out on the mat in her match with Flex. She takes a deep breath and recovers her composure.

Sky: “Those are just words. I mean anyone here, Ced, Francis, Cutthroat, hell, even Z could do what you’ve done so far. Give me something personal from your heart, something that speaks of you and only you.”

Frost: (with hope in his voice) “And that, that would make you mine?”

Sky: “No…maybe…I don’t know…I…”

Wracked with indecision and emotions that are warring inside her, Sky rushes past Frost’s gift and takes off down the hall to escape him. Frost picks the bear up under his arm and heads off down the hall after his beloved with confident steps.

The shot lingers on the empty blank hall for a long moment after Frost leaves the frame. Without a word or a sound, Tod deKindes slips around the near corner and rests with his back up on its edge and his arms crossed over his chest. His eyes smolder with………what emotion is hard to tell and only Tod knows for sure. Fade out.

June 6, 2002

Axis: And we’re back. Up next is our n00b debut. This will be the semi-established Impact taking on the newcomer Thor.

Edwin: You’ve got to like Impact’s chances in this match up. He has the experience to take on most opponents, but he is still facing a man almost twice his size.

King: I like the big man’s odds here. The man is so big, he could dominate the whole match with brute strength alone. I hope to see Impact really take it to Thor with his high-flying, fast-paced style.

Axis: We are sure going to see a good match tonight.

Soft pulsating beats can be heard from the speakers, grabbing the audience’s attention. On the SparkTron, wave lines appear as the beats pulsate. After several beats an explosion rocks the arena and “Are You Ready?” by Creed begins to play. As the lyrics kick in, Impact steps through the curtain, his hair neatly pulled back. He makes his way to the ring to mild applause.

Funyon: *cough* Ladies and gentlemen. Now making his way to the ring, weighing in at 210 lbs, hailing from Miami, Florida... IMMMPAAACT!!

Impact steps through the ropes, jumping a bit and giving a confident smile to the crowd.

The arena goes black. A lightning bolt strikes the stage, blue and white pyros shoot off in opposite directions, and the stage fills up with smoke as KISS- God of Thunder begins to play. The lyrics kick in and Thor steps through the curtains carrying his hammer Mjolnir and wearing a bright red cape. He stoically strides to the ring and jumps in, there he stands with arms folded surveying his opposition. He then hands his cape and hammer to the ring manager.

Funyon: And his opponent, weighing in at 345 lbs, hailing from (says hesitantly, in puzzlement) the spires of immortal Asgard, he is THOR!!

Ding ding ding!!

Axis: And here we go.

King: This is going to be a real colliding of styles here tonight, power versus speed.

Edwin: Oh, no doubt about that at‘all. These two should compliment each other nicely.

Right off Impact runs against the ropes and catches Thor with a dropkick, staggering the big man. Thor stumbles into the ropes but comes back for a clothesline, Impact ducks and catches Thor bouncing off the other ropes with a standing drop kick, dropping Thor to the mat. Impact goes for a quick cover.

1

.

2

No. Thor kicks out, tossing Impact into the air.

Axis: That was a nice combination of moves there.

King: Impact seems to have the advantage early on here, but it will take more than that to take down Thor.

Edwin: What's wrong with this monitor? (the monitor is making a loud hissing noise)

King: Agghh! Why does that thing sound like a cat being run over by a lawn mower?

Edwin: Wait maybe this will work (smacks monitor) It still didn’t work.

Axis: *speaks in an exasperated voice* Here. (unplugs monitor) Now wasn’t that easy?

Both King and Edwin it in silence.

Thor quickly stands and hits Impact with a stiff right hand. He then catches a disoriented Impact in a chin lock. He holds him there, his massive biceps wrapped around Impact’s head. Impact then struggles to stand and then reverses the hold and kicks him in the gut several times. Thor clotheslines Impact almost out of his boots. Thor bounces off the ropes beside Impact and lands with a leg drop on his chest. Thor, wasting no time, picks up Impact and completely elevates Impact above his head and presses him, once, twice, three times, then he throws him to one side of the ring.

Axis: The raw power of Thor is incredible. He lifted up a 210 lb man like he was a sanmmich.

Edwin: I think the question here is “Is the power and strength of Thor going to be enough to put away the speed and agility of Impact?”

King: I think it is very possible. Big men can do big things in this business, especially after they learn the ropes a mite.

Axis: I believe that Impact needs to keep moving to throw Thor off of his guard.

Thor crouches down waiting for Impact to stand. As Impact groggily gets to his feet, Thor grabs him by the neck and assists him to the mat with a violent chokeslam. Thor goes for the cover.

1

.

2

.

Impact kicks out. The look of shock is evident on Thor’s face as both men stand. Impact catches Thor hard in the face with a spinning super kick and runs and leaps onto the turnbuckle as Thor tries to catch his wits. Impact goes to hit a hurrincanrana, he hooks the legs around Thor’s neck but he counters it into a sit-out power bomb. The crowd goes wild.

Edwin: Did you see that? He countered a perfect hurrincanrana.

King: I’ll give this guy Thor credit. It’s hard to counter a move when it is coming at you that fast.

Axis: Oh no doubt. Impact is definitely pulling out all the stops in this one.

King: I should hope so. He’s got to take down a man bigger then himself, he cant hold anything back.

Thor stands, and turns to the crowd in celebration with his hands outstretched. Impact is slow to his feet but soon gathers himself long enough to catch Thor turning around with a Tornado DDT. Impact runs to the ropes, wasting no time, delivering his “From Above” Lionsault. He jumps up with his hands in the air, doing a little bit of showboating for the crowd. Thor then sits up and isn’t too happy. He stands, then grabs Impact by the hair and whips him into the corner. Thor follows right after with a splash in the corner, Impact looks like he was bit by a bus. Thor then pummels Impact with a series of shots to the gut, knocking the wind from his body. He then goes for a big punch but Impact catches Thor with a boot to the stomach. Impact fires off a couple of shots to the head of Thor and delivers a sweep kick knocking the Thunder God down. Impact then punishes Thor with a spinning leg drop.

King: This Impact is very agile, and I believe that he can get the job done on Thor if he just keeps moving.

Axis: He has him down now, he should take advantage of this opportunity.

Edwin: Yeah, GO FOR THE COVER!!!

King: Caffeine pills again?

Edwin: No... *quietly takes a caffeine pill* Go for it!!!

Impact stands and waits for Thor to recover, as his opponent stands Impact goes for the ropes and bounces off with a spear. Thor moves out of the way and Impact goes head first through the second and third ropes. He lands hard on his head and shoulders, the crowd winces in unison, feeling Impact’s pain. A nearby ref runs to Impact and asks if he can continue, to which he nods slowly. He then rolls into the ring and gets helped up by the waiting Thor who whips Impact into the ropes and catches him with a big drop kick. The crowd cheers for the momentum gaining Thor.

Axis: I’ve never seen a man the big jump so high in the air.

Edwin: It’s gotta be the shoes! (eerily reminiscent of a famous commercial)

King: At any rate I’m not sure how long Impact can go after sustaining a fall like he just did.

Impact gets to his feet and goes for a German suplex on Thor, but he cant seem to get him off of his feet. He tries again but still no luck. Now Thor smiles and grabs Impact by the neck with both hands and delivers a sit-out double-handed chokeslam. Thor gets up and rolls over the dazed Impact and puts on the camel clutch. He rears back on it, Impact’s expression is that of pain and suffering. Thor releases the hold and waits for Impact to stand. Impacts struggles to his feet and slowly turns around. Thor charges at him but Impact catches him with a spinning neckbreaker. Impact stands and the crowd cheers in approval.

Edwin: Nice camel clutch, an actual wrestling move for a change.

Axis: These two competitors are really taking it to each other here tonight.

King: The crowd is cheering for both Thor and Impact. The fans have no clear favorite in this match up. And I cant say I blame em.

Impact goes up top, waiting for Thor to get to his feet. As he does Impact goes for a cross-body but Thor catches him in the face with a European uppercut. Impact is staggering around grimacing pain but his pain is quickly forgotten when Thor catches him with a backbreaker. Thor stands and points at Impact and then at the top turnbuckle. He has an idea.

Edwin: Oh no. Thor is going to go to the top rope? Most 7 foot, 350 lb wrestlers don't even leave their feet anymore *cough* Taker *cough*

Axis: Maybe so, but I have a feeling Thor knows what he is doing.

King: Wait, you meant the Undertaker didn’t you?

Edwin: *chuckles to himself* Idiot.

King: Hey, just ‘cause I’m retired doesn’t mean I cant start some shit!

Thor ascends the turnbuckles slowly, then turns to face the ring. He leaps off attempting an elbow drop but Impact rolls out of the way! He goes for a cover.

1

.

2

.

Thor just barely kicks out. Impact is now furious and starts to stomp on Thor, much to the disapproval of the crowd. He gets about three good stomps in but Thor catches his leg on number four and stands up still holding the leg. Impact hits an enziguri and Thor staggers back into the ropes, but comes back with a devastating boot to the face. Thor picks up Impact and goes for a suplex and holds Impact high in the air. He walks around the ring so all the fans can observe his great strength. Thor then gracefully drops Impact to the mat.

King: Croike!! Thor held Impact up for quite a while.

Edwin and Axis stare at each other in disbelief

Edwin: Kingy, did you just say “Croike!!”... like the crocodile hunter?

King: Umm.. yes. Hey what can I say the crocodile hunter is a great show. He puts his life on the line every episode.

Axis: Are these lights getting to you King?

Impact stands while Thor is up on the turnbuckle showing off for the fans and grabs him from behind and pulls him down, landing on his back. Impact jumps up to the top rope and hits a springboard moonsault on Thor. The crowd starts to buzz, expecting some big moves ahead. Impact picks up Thor by the head and starts to punch him in the head. He whips the big man into the corner and comes running after him with a flying kick to the chest. Thor staggers after that move and stumbles around slowly. Impact then runs off of the ropes and Thor counters by bouncing against the opposite ropes and catching Impact with an impact of his own, a high cross-body block. Landing on top of his opponent, Thor goes for the cover.

1

.

2

.

Impact gets his foot on the rope before the count of three. Thor is now frustrated and quickly picks Impact up and whips him into the ropes. This time Impact jumps over the bent over Thor, and bounces off the other ropes. On his return he catches Thor with a facebuster taking Thor out. Thor gets to his feet and Impact maneuvers himself for an overhead belly-to-belly suplex, he nails it and the crowd recognizes Impact’s skill.

King: Usually the fans will tear up a n00b but they are being very supportive today.

Axis: Yes, the fans are realizing that these two competitors are going all out here.

Edwin: I hope to see these two gentlemen soon moving up the ranks in the SJL.

Impact stands in the middle of the ring with his arms up accepting the crowds applause as Thor charges him with a spear out of nowhere. Thor stands and picks up Impact and then promptly sends him back down again by the ropes with a bodyslam. Thor runs to the other side of the ropes, bounces back, rolls on the ground in front of Impact, does a flip in the air and lands in a split-legged legdrop. It is the ROLLING THUNDER!!! The crowd flips out. There is a slight pause of disbelief followed by deafening cheering and applause.

All announcers sit with their mouths open gazing at the devastation in the ring.

King: Did I just see what I think I saw?

Axis: If you saw a 7 foot, 350 lb behemoth deliver the Rolling Thunder, then you saw what I saw.

Edwin: That was amazing! I wonder if even impact could get that move done.

Axis: I have never seen anything like that before. The big man can apparently move when he wants to.

Impact stands and gets caught in the waiting arms of Thor. He lifts up Impact into a bearhug and squeezes him tightly. Impact starts to turn red, then purple, the ref takes Impacts arm, lifts it, then drops it. One! He cries. He lifts his arm, then drops it. Two!

He lifts the arm, drops it, but Impact catches it at the last second. He opens his eyes and he starts to shake and headbutts Thor several times. Thor releases Impact from the hold and Impact runs off of the ropes, does a frontflip, and hooks his feet around Thor’s neck, twisting him into a hurrincanrana. The crowd cheers in support of Impact.

Axis: What amazing agility by Impact.

Edwin: Yes, boy moves like he is painted red.

King and Axis both look puzzled at Edwin

Edwin: ‘Cause anything that’s red is automatically faster than anything else.

Axis and King: Right...

Edwin: What?

Thor quickly stands up, clearly disillusioned, and gets caught by Impact with his “Tornado” springboard spear. This takes Thor to the mat, and Impact wastes no time in jumping to the top turnbuckle and leaps off doing a front flip and landing in a guillotine legdrop. It’s the Thunder Bomb!! Impact’s finishing maneuver. Impact goes for the cover

1

.

2

.

Thor kicks out at two and three quarters!! The crowd goes wild. Thor just kicked out of Impact’s finisher, the Thunder Bomb. Impact stares in disbelief at the body of Thor, who at this point is getting to his feet. Thor starts to stand and stares at his opponent who doesn’t know what to make of the man who just kicked out of his finisher. Thor charges at Impact with a spinning neckbreaker, taking Impact down. Thor runs to the ropes and bounces back with a legdrop on the fallen Impact. He goes to pick Impact up off the mat but Impact delivers a low-blow to Thor. Thor is holding his manhood as Impact fires off shots to the head. Impact grabs Thor’s arm and delivers a short handed clothesline, sending Thor to the canvas.

Edwin: Thor kicked out of that spectacular guillotine legdrop. That should have kept Thor down for good.

King: It seems that Thor still has some fight left in him. I’m starting to like the big man’s chances here.

Axis: At any rate these two are giving the fans a terrific show.

Edwin: No argument here.

King: *under his breath* For once...

Impact picks Thor up by the hair and delivers a firm kick to the gut. Impact then turns Thor around slowly and hooks his arm under Thor’s chin and delivers a big neckbreaker. Impact jumps up, with arms out stretched, jumps up and does a kick in the air for the fans. Upon his decent to the ground Thor grabs his ankle and sweeps his legs out from under him. Thor gets up picks up Impact, delivers several vicious blows to the head, and reaches down for the big one. Impact ducks under it, runs to the opposite ropes and bounces off, Thor spins around and smacks Impact in the face with a big forearm smash. Thor’s arm bounces off Impact’s head with a sickening thud, equal to that of when his back hits the mat. Thor raises his arm in the air in celebration, and then points to the top turnbuckle with the same arm.

King: Is Thor going to try the top rope again? It didn’t work well before.

Axis: Right, last time Thor went up top, he came down and hit nothing but canvas.

Edwin: Trust me, if a wrestler misses his finisher, he’s mad. So if he tries it again, he means business.

Axis: I guess we’ll see as Thor ascends the turnbuckle.

As Axis finishes his remark, Thor is at the top turnbuckle. He leaps off onto Impact, elbow first, with a boom. Thor hits Impact with his first finisher, the Crack of Thunder. Instead of going for the pin, Thor waits to see how much Impact has left. Impact is motionless on the mat for what seems like an eternity. Finally he starts to move, slowly at first, then gaining speed as he gets to his feet. Thor approaches Impact and goes for a fall away slam. Impact shimmies out of Thor’s grip and Thor stumbles forward. Impact hits him with a dropkick, knocking him through the ropes and onto the cold floor.

King: Ooh, that was a bad fall, wonder if Impact can take advantage of the situation.

Edwin: I don't think Impact kicked Thor out of the ring for no reason.

Axis: If Impact can capitalize on this match, I believe he will have earned himself a good place in the SJL.

Edwin: Earning respect by beating up new guys. It’s what wrestling is all about.

Thor gets to his feet and quickly leaps in under the bottom rope. He is met by boots to the back by Impact, seizing the opportunity. Thor gets up after several kicks and is enraged. He grabs Impact and whips him hard into the turnbuckle. Thor walks over and delivers a big chop to the chest of Impact. The crowd goes “OOOH”. Thor hits his adversary with another big chop. “OOOH” goes the crowd. Thor hits Impact with one more big chop, and Impact falls down holding his now beet-red chest. The crowd cheers, rallying firmly behind Thor. Thor turns to the crowd and acknowledges their support.

Edwin: You’ve got to hand it to Thor, giving a beating to someone is bloody tiring.

King: For once, we agree.

Axis simply blows off the preceding remarks as it is obvious he has grown far too used to their antics.

As the announcers talk, Impact is on his feet and crouched down, waiting for Thor to turn. As he turns, Impact hits Thor with a reversed sit-out facebuster. Impact then charges the ropes, bounces off and hits Thor with a springboard elbow drop. Impact then springs up, does a flip and lands with a legdrop on Thor. The crowd cheers for the great wrestling just displayed by Impact. He runs to a turnbuckle, leaps onto it and holds his hands in the air. While Impact showboats, Thor is up and runs against the ropes. Impact looses his balance and crotches himself on the turnbuckle. Every man in the crowd howls in pain.

The announcers all simultaneously grab themselves and yell in pain.

King: I don’t care if this is wrestling, getting a man in the jewels is not kosher.

Axis: It was Impact’s own damned fault for showing off so much.

Edwin is still grimacing in pain.

Impact falls off of the turnbuckle and gets himself composed while Thor chuckles at his opponent. Impact in a blind rage runs at Thor with a spear knocking the God of Thunder into the corner. Impact starts throwing furious kicks and punches at Thor’s midsection, and then whips Thor into the opposing turnbuckles. Thor stumbles back while Impact scales the turnbuckles. Impact is at the top while Thor turns around. Impact leaps, attempting a high cross-body block, but lands only in Thor’s waiting arms. He holds him and turns around, showing off his catch to the fans. He signals for the end, and drops Impact down in the position. Thor holds onto Impact’s waist as Impact is inverted upside down. He walks to all four corners of the ring, letting the fans know what he has in store.

Edwin: What is Thor gonna do here?

Axis: I believe he is going for his final finisher, the Ragnarok piledriver.

King: How do you know all of this I’d like to know?

Axis: Well you see king... *mocking him* this little piece of paper tells me allllll of the wrestler’s statistics.

King sits glaring at Axis.

Thor gets done walking to the corners of the ring and brings Impact to the middle of the ring. Thor drops Impact square on his head with a thud and Impact falls helpless to the mat. Thor goes for the cover.

1

.

2

.

3

Thor takes the win!! The pop from the crowd is deafening!! God of Thunder begins to play as the ref holds up Thor’s hand, signifying his victory.

Funyon: Your winner... THOOOOORRRRR!!!

Axis: Wow! Thor takes the win over the man called Impact. This has got to make the newcomer feel good. We’ve seen some great wrestling in this match tonight, and I’m sure we can look forward to more soon to come from Thor.

Edwin: As... (Axis and King both look at each other in disgust) ...SJL commissioner, I believe I have made a good choice in hiring Thor. He seems to have some potential and I believe he will fit in nicely here in the SJL.

King: Right... Anyways this was a terrific match. Two styles going head to head in a cataclysmic showdown.

Axis: Right you are, stay tuned for more great matches from the SJL!!!

June 6, 2002

In the view of a dimly lit room, a door opens to reveal Fletcher Callaway and Matt Myers. The two men, whom the New Sound presently consists of, have just made a potentially earth-shattering announcement...

A new man will turn to the New Sound...

...but who!?

Even though Flexxx and Poisyn seem to be very happy, laughing like complete jackasses and rushing around as they have some sort of grand plan of great EVILNESS~!, the two most omnipresent JL mavericks can't hold themselves back from sitting down in the comftort of two black chairs. Let's face it, they've had a rather rough night.

They sit alone in the New Sound locker room, with complete silence and the highest level of security possible in the arena. Now, they can finally relax and talk things over.

(Poisyn) - "Ah man... tonight, we are finally going to make ourselves heard for real."

(Flexxx) - "Yeah, damn straight man... after the last minute of this Metal, I goddamn assure you that we got this stable rocking on, stronger than ever! We will have those other whores in the JL eating out of our hands like the pidgeon-shits they are!"

As Flexxx opens a cooler and pops the top of a cooled beer bottle, Poisyn looks over, while visibly sweating and trembling for some refreshment.

(Poisyn) - "Dude... give be a fucking beer!"

(Flexxx) - "Yo, chill man, I'll get you a bottle in a second. But why the hell are you trembling like that? There is NOTHING to be nervous about!"

(Poisyn) - "Then why do YOU look so nervous?"

Flexxx shifts his eyes around, and Poisyn follows suit. Even though they fail to see any sort of visible threat, the only two people in the New Sound's locker room are overwhelmed by a horrible revelation that has, in actuality, plagued their minds all night long!

But what the hell could possibly wrong? They said themselves that they were going strong!

................

(Flexxx) - "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH US??? WE'RE TOTALLY SCREWED, DAMMIT! WE ARE SO - TOTALLY - FUCKING - SCREWED!!!"

(Poisyn) - "Oh no..."

(Flexxx) - "WE SHOT OURSELVES IN THE FOOT!"

Fletcher Callaway's trembling shifts into a state of overdrive, as he thrusts his ass right out of his large, black chair and chucks his beer bottle into the wall. SMASH! The brown shards of glass scatter across the ground, and the alcoholic beverage slowly trickles down the coarse wall like the blood of the countless victimized JLers.

(Flexxx) - "Dude... the whole JL could be out to plot against us, right at this very moment!"

(Poisyn) - "I don't know how we possibly could have made that announcement, when we don't even have a STABLE!"

(Flexxx) - "But we ARE a stable, at least!... well... aren't we, Matt?"

(Poisyn) - "A stable is a group, Fletcher. Look at those empty chairs in this locker room... do you get it now? Do we look like a stable to you? We DON'T! All of the other New Sound members turned their fucking backs on us! Me and you, Flexxx... we may be damn good. But without the others..."

Flexxx's trembling becomes violent again, and he puts his hands on Matt's shoulders, begging him to stop. Poisyn is also visibly cowering, but stares his partner coldly in the eyes and says...

(Flexxx) - "Oh fuck, dude, please don't say it! Please don't-"

(Poisyn) - "...We're just another tag team."

(Flexxx) - "GOD... ARGH... DAMN IT!!!"

CRACK! A vase breaks open, as Flexxx's hard right boot drives through its ceramic surface. Flexxx continues to pace around the room in panic, swearing and frantically searching for a solution.

(Flexxx) - "TOM, MAFIA, INSANE LUCHADOR... THOSE STUPID FUCKING TOOLS ABANDONED US! NOW WHAT THE HELL ARE WE GONNA DO!?"

(Poisyn) - "Well... aren't we safe here?"

(Flexxx) - "You're WRONG, Matt! For crying out loud... this is the backstage area! There is no such THING as security! We are WAY too vulnerable! We have no way of insuring that this plan will work!"

...

(Flexxx) - "Hell, what if our 'associate' backstage changes his mind and never even joins us? What if this whole New Sound thing totally backfires on us? Huh, Matt? HUH!?"

(Poisyn) - "Hmm..."

(Flexxx) - "Do we even have a plan B? Or ANY sort of insurance, for that matter?"

(Poisyn) - "Wait, Flexxx... remember that call we got from yesterday? I think that he was interested in helping us!"

(Flexxx) - "Oh, really... and what if HE screws us over?"

***KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!***

Flexxx stares at the door and almost opens his mouth, but he surprisingly restrains his vocal cords in anticipation. Poisyn slowly opens the door... and a man in a black suit and a mask. Hell... he looks like he could rob a drug store with that suit on! But the black suit has a different purpose...

The fabric-laden man extends his arm forward and offers to shake Poisyn's hand.

(???) - "Hello, gentlemen. I was a tad bit delayed by other troubling matters, but I am now here as I promised in my phone call."

(Poisyn) - "Uh... hey there. It's nice to finally meet you."

(???) - "Oh no no no, the pleasure is ALL mine, I assure you!"

Matt seems almost estatic that his prayers were, at last, effectively answered, but Flexxx smacks Matt on the back of his head in disgust.

(Flexxx) - "What the hell is wrong with you!? You IDIOT! How can you trust a complete stranger? On the PHONE!? For chrissake, Matt, you learned this kiddie safety shit in the FIFTH GRADE!!!"

(Poisyn) - "But what if he can help us? You know we'll have to take risks."

(???) - "Believe me, Flexxx................ eventually, you will learn to appreciate this, *ahem*, brilliant partnership!"

(Flexxx) - "BAH! Well, fine Matt. Let's try things your way... but for tonight only. This better work, and that's all I got to tell you..."

(???) - "Oh, but it will definitely work! You will see for yourself, gentlemen, that I am a very reliable source! I will have the entire JL bending down on it's knees to SUCK!"

(Flexxx) - "Heh... I like your attitude, mister mysterious guy in a robber suit."

(Poisyn) - "Why don't you tell us this plan of yours? We need to be ready for anything and everything, you know."

(???) - "OK... well, here's the plan. You see..."

(Flexxx) - "Huh? What the motherfuck..."

A man's head suddenly appears and disappears at the door, and Flexxx almost loses his sanity in the process!

(Flexxx) - "GET YOUR ASS OUT OF HERE, BEN HARDY!!! Stupid fucking leeches... yo, Matt, close that door!"

(Poisyn) - "...Ditto"

(???) - "Okay, men, here is my grand coup operation for tonight! As I was saying, we will..."

The camera slowly fades out of the door and the screen switches to a commercial.

June 6, 2002

Returning from yet another commercial, SJL Metal is live, and the crowd is already pumped from some great SJL action, many waving witty/inane statements on placards, for some odd reason. Like “Frost is getting the cold shoulder from Sydney!” and “SJL world champ, a real riot!”

The cameras take a few moments to explore the crowd, before we cut to Axis and Suicide king seated at the announce table, Edwin nowhere in sight. Undaunted, Axis greets the home audience with his usual enthusiasm.

“Hello, all you great fans out there, and welcome back to another edition of Metal, LIVE from Spiderman’s enchanted palace! We’ve got some great action coming up, with….

“THWIP!” A familiar British voice rings out, and suddenly Edwin appears on camera, or at least his arm does, a spider man silly string dispenser strapped to his wrist, spraying a stream of the annoying stuff straight at the Suicide King.

Raising his hands up to defend himself, King cries out, Edwin’s antics clearly getting to him. “Stop it! That’s the ONLY reason we’re having a show in this arena, isn’t it, so you’ll have an excuse to play with your new toys!”

As the spray of silly string runs out, Edwin settles back in his announcers chair and turns towards the camera with a gleeful smile. Raising his other wrist, he sprays a stream of water at the camera from yet another spider man related ‘web-shooter’ toy. “Why KING! I’m shocked that you would accuse me of such tomfoolery. You should know I don’t need any excuse to make your life terrible. Hey, remember how last week I got Z to…..

“Shut up!”

Sighing, and rolling his eyes in what is sadly, a characteristic action, Axis goes on with his announcing, ignoring his two co-workers. “We have some great action, just like we’ve been seeing so far. Before the break, we had a match between Impact, and a new talent by the name of Thor! And coming up right now, it’s another new arrival in C.I.A. taking on the deranged Fugue.

Snatching the papers from Axis’s hands, King crumples them and tosses them over his shoulder. “You know, you never seem to get anything right. We’ve got a man who doesn’t seem to realize he comes from an inferior country, going up against the deliciously evil, UNDEFEATED Fugue. You forgot that part, didn’t you?”

Seeming to have refilled his toy, Edwin once again begins to fire streams of non-toxic, official spider-man movie brand silly string in King’s direction, and the cameras cut to Funyon in the ring, be-decked in the latest in powder blue, 1970’s promwear. He raises the mic to his lips, and begins his regular spiel as the lights flicker off in the arena, and Fugue’s creepy entrance music begins. “Ladies and gentlemen, approaching the ring at this time, from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, weighing it at 181 pounds, he is… FUUUUGGGUUUEEEE!!!!”

As Fugue makes his way towards the ring, he moves from side to side of the aisle, occasionally stopping and staring at a fan, usually causing them to recoil, even making a little boy scream and hide behind his parents. Sliding in under the bottom rope, the cameras focus on his face, and his rather disconcerting smile. Funyon raises his microphone once more, but stammers and stops as Fugue comes close, looking right at the announcer, still smiling that creepy smile.

As Fugue finally backs off, Funyon lifts his microphone, but the lights in the arena shift, becoming a red color, and he is cut off as music begins to blare. The cameras show the SmarkTron, a fluttering Canadian flag flowing in the breeze, and the title specific first words of ‘O Canada’ ring out through the arena. The lights dim to half light quickly, then suddenly shoot back to full luminescence as…

*BOOM!* A rush of red pyro fires up along the stage, and a figure emerges, facing the crowd, arms spread to the side, each one supporting a dangling Canadian flag. In one hand, the masked wrestler has a microphone, and, as the music shifts from the national anthem, fading into the opening riffs of ‘Secret Agent Man’, C.I.A. brings the microphone to his lips. “Thank you, Funyon, but tonight is my first show, and you people know I’m not letting anyone talk me down to that ring, when I can do it myself, instead!”

Beginning to walk down the ramp towards the ring, C.I.A. continues his speech, free hand reaching out to slap hands with all the eager fans in reach. “For the very first time, all you SJL maniacs, I bring you GREETINGS, from the frozen north!” Reaching the ring, C.I.A. rolls in under the bottom rope, and looks over towards his opponent. “Get ready for some action, people. Buy yourself a Canadian beer, and take a cue from my opponent for this evening, smile! Tonight, you all get to see the Canadian style!”

Sliding his microphone onto the ring apron, C.I.A. removes his jacket next, setting both aside and mounting one of the turnbuckles for a final pre-match pose, when suddenly Fugue approaches from behind, and drives his fist into the small of C.I.A.’s back, tugging him down off the turnbuckle, slamming him on his back in the ring. Moving quickly, Fugue follows this up right away, dropping a knee across C.I.A.’s shoulder.

King: Ha, looks like this joker just pulled a MacPhisto. Too much showboating, and his dangerous opponent gets a shot in before the bell rings. If this Fugue keeps on hurting people, then I’m gonna be a much happier man.

Edwin: Well, I guess it would be impossible for you to bec a much stupider man.

Axis: Our match is underway, and it looks like Fugue isn’t planning to let up, starting out with a strong knee to C.I.A.’s right shoulder.

Lifting his opponent up off the mat, Fugue brings C.I.A. back up to his knees, kicking out fiercely, planting a few hard kicks in the Canadian’s shoulder. Taking C.I.A.’s wrist, Fugue plants his foot on C.I.A’s shoulder and begins to tug, putting tremendous pressure on the shoulder. Looking up to the audience as he holds the move, Fugue continues to smile, even though the fans are raining down boos on him.

Axis: Looks like Fugue is keeping the pressure on that arm, clearly trying to deal his damage early, disable some of this new grappler’s offense early.

Edwin: I’ve seen what this C.I.A. can do, and I assure you, he’s going to show us a lot in his first match here for the SJL.

King: It doesn’t matter either way, Edwin. Fugue is prepared to tear this punk apart, and he won’t let up until he’s hurt someone.

Still smiling, Fugue twists C.I.A.’s wrist sharply, pressing down harder with his foot, straightening the leg as much as possible, crowd booing. Crying out in pain, C.I.A. continues to shake his head, fighting to get back to his feet. After a few more seconds of pressure, Fugue tries to twist C.I.A.’s wrist further, allowing him the opportunity to roll out of the hold. Twisting around, C.I.A. tears his arm free, Facing Fugue. Finally showing a bit of offense, the Canadian fires off a few quick shots to Fugue’s face, then, grabbing the back of Fugue’s head, he quickly drives his knee up into his smaller opponent’s gut, doubling him over, much to the delight of the fans.

Edwin: Looks like our man from the north side of the longest undefended border in the world is ready to show us what he can do now!

Drawing back, C.I.A. looks surprised, quickly glancing down to see that Fugue has taken ahold of his leg. Before he has a chance to react, Fugue drops off his feet, taking C.I.A. down with a hard dragon screw leg whip.

King: Maybe we should put up some defenses, keep all the idiots trapped up there. Fugue is in control of this match, and he’s going to keep that control.

Axis: A very nice counter from Fugue, who so far seems to have the advantage on this new arrival to the SJL.

Coming back to his feet, Fugue stands next to his opponent, just long enough to make a short leap in the air, body flipping and crashing onto the face down form of C.I.A. in a beautiful standing senton. Not hesitating for a moment, Fugue scissors his legs around one of C.I.A.’s arms, reaching back and grabbing hold of the other arm, immediately continuing to the pressure on C.I.A.’s arms. Dropping to the mat, Sexton Hardcastle looks to C.I.A., asking for a submission as Fugue wrenches back on the hold, hard.

Axis: Fugue in steady control, and this has been his match so far, as he’s really doing a number on the arms and shoulders of C.I.A with that move, the ‘Minor Chord’.

King: Ha! If Fugue keeps this up, he’ll break him in half. I LOVE it!

Edwin: You’re a sick man, King, and C.I.A. isn’t giving up, which means this match isn’t over yet.

Fugue wrenches back hard on his hold, tearing at the arms of C.I.A, who fights in an attempt to get out of the hold, gritting his teeth, and shutting his eyes, groaning as the pain shoots through him. Hardcastle continues to look for a submission, but C.I.A. shakes his head no, again and again, Fugue finally breaking the hold. Fugue stands and drops down with another hard knee on C.I.A’s right shoulder. Rolling C.I.A. over, Fugue turns away and leaps up into the air, slamming into C.I.A. with a moonsault, and reaching over to hook the leg, Hardcastle quickly dropping into position for the count.

King: It’s just a shame we couldn’t get more competition for Fugue, this match has been all his, and it looks like he’s gonna finish it nicely right here.

Axis: King may be sadistic, but he’s got a point. Fugue has been in steady control here, and he’s going for the three.

ONE!

.

TWO!

.

Kick-out!

Moving his body, C.I.A. gets his shoulder up just a few moments before the three, crowd cheering. Fugue quickly takes hold of C.I.A.’s hair, and protests the call, creepy smile still plastered on his face.

Axis: Fugue arguing with the ref, and you have to wonder just why this man smiles all the time.

King: He likes hurting people. Simple.

Edwin: Maybe he’s REALLY ticklish, and even a slight breeze makes him smile that big, happy smile.

King and Axis stare at Edwin, both completely incredulous at his statement.

Back in the ring, Fugue lifts C.I.A. to his feet, taking hold of his arm and beginning to twist it, going for an armbar. C.I.A. moves in close, taking hold of Fugue, and whips him across the ring, following close behind. Fugue spins about and bounces off the ropes, right into C.I.A.’s raised knee, which crashes into his gut and flips him over to the mat. Taking a moment over his fallen opponent, C.I.A. rubs his shoulder, grimacing in pain. Continuing to hold the joint, C.I.A. drops to his knees, driving one knee into the chest of Fugue, and reaching down to tug him to his feet as he stands back up. Pulling Fugue a step back towards the center of the ring, C.I.A. tosses out two quick lefts into the ever-smiling face of Fugue, lunging forward and staggering Fugue back with a fierce roaring elbow.

Edwin: Here we go, looks like C.I.A.’s finally ready to show us what he’s got.

King: Back when I was world champion, I fought in Canada all the time, and let me tell you, if ever there were a country with no real characteristics, that’s it.

Axis: I can’t believe you would say that King. A lot of great wrestlers have come out of….

King: Don’t even finish that sentence! This offense is a fluke, Fugue’s gonna take back control, and he’s gonna put C.I.A. down, maybe break a few bones.

Still looking a bit sluggish, C.I.A. doesn’t follow up immediately, and Fugue lunges forward, looking to take hold of him once more. Almost out of nowhere, C.I.A. ducks a bit, snatching Fugue off his feet, and bringing him overhead, crashing down to the mat with a fierce powerslam.

Edwin: Ha! Looks like we’re gonna deny King pleasure for a little while at least, and that means I’m a happy, happy commissioner.

Axis: It certainly does look like C.I.A. was playing possum, but he is favoring that arm, and I can assure you, he’s definitely still in pain from those brutal holds early in this match.

Edwin: That’s right, it was all Fugue to start, but it looks like our new import from the north is ready to give us a show, and Fugue a lesson. The match isn’t over, until…

King: C.I.A. gets pinned?

Edwin: No, it’s not over till just before the commercial break. Don’t you know that?

Back in the ring, C.I.A steps away from Fugue, stepping over to the turnbuckle and climbing up to the second pad, facing Fugue and raising both arms overhead. Fugue comes to his feet, turning to face C.I.A., who launches out of the corner, bringing both arms down hard in a double axehandle, forcing Fugue back to his knees. Running over to the ropes, C.I.A. rebounds hard, leaping off his feet with a hard low dropkick, which collides with Fugue’s chest, sending him back, body rolling over so he comes to rest on his stomach.

Axis: C.I.A. keeping Fugue grounded, clearly more of a high impact wrestler, in comparison to Fugue’s submission based mat game. Fugue is down, after a powerful dropkick by C.I.A.

King: Canadian Intelligence agent. He has to lose, his name’s an oxymoron.

Edwin: King, you’re an oxymoron!

In the ring, while Edwin and King continue to argue, C.I.A. gets back to his feet, walking over to Fugue, taking him by the hair and tugging him up to his feet. Grabbing Fugue’s arm, C.I.A. shoves him back, whipping him hard into the corner, which meets Fugue’s chest with a hard, resounding smack. Rebounding from the force of the impact, Fugue stumbles back, C.I.A. coming forward to meet him, quickly hooking hiss arms. Dropping his weight for half a second, C.I.A. throws himself up and back, taking Fugue high overhead with a powerful Half-Nelson suplex, both bodies coming down to the mat, hard.

Axis: Well, this match was all Fugue to start, but our Canadian friend has turned things around, and he’s just dropped his opponent hard in the center of the ring, though he’s taking a moment to get up, himself. Looks like that arm’s still bothering him.

King: The sound strategy of Fugue, showing through. He did damage quick, and hard, and now every move takes a bit more out of C.I.A.

Edwin: Have to actually say intelligent things now that you can’t cheer like a love-struck girl for your man, huh, King?

King: Hmph. I stand by my predictions, you jackass. And the only lovestruck girls I know are the ones in my fan club.

Edwin: All two of them?

King: Yes, all…. Hey!

C.I.A. rolls over in the ring, coming up to his knees, hand gripping his shoulder, obviously in pain. Looking over at the still downed Fugue, he comes up to his feet, making his way over to the corner, climbing to the top rope while Fugue remains motionless. Finally ascending the top turnbuckle, C.I.A. looks over his shoulder once, throws one hand up in the air, and leaps. Flying back through the air, flashbulbs shine to light all through the crowd, and C.I.A. turns over in mid air, executing a beautiful moonsault. Just as he reaches the height of his leap, upside down in mid-air, C.I.A. turns his body a quarter turn, and extends his elbow, coming down hard…… right into the mat as Fugue rolls out of the way. C.I.A. bounces up with the impact of the landing, screaming in pain and grabbing hold of his now further injured right arm.

Axis: Ooohhhh. Looks like C.I.A. went for his finisher, an impressive aerial maneuver he has dubbed ‘Air Canada’, but Fugue was well prepared, rolling out of the way just in time, causing his opponent to hit the mat hard.

King: Hard RIGHT on that injured arm. Now all Fugue has to do is lock on his finisher. His opponent just did all the work for him! I love it!

Edwin: Shut up, King.

King: Ha! No witty quips now, huh, Edwin? Looks like you’re as poor a loser as your good friend Mark Stevens was, not so long ago!

With that, Edwin hops out of his chair, jumping towards King, who merely laughs as Axis holds Edwin back as best he can.

C.I.A. grips his arm and continues to cry out in pain, as Fugue comes back to his feet, camera catching the look on his face, that same blissful look that Fugue always has when an opponent is in pain. Crawling over to C.I.A., Fugue immediately begins laying in with hard kicks, targeting the shoulder. After three or four real hard kicks, Fugue lifts up C.I.A., twisting his arm overhead, putting more pressure on the injured shoulder. Moving over to the ropes, C.I.A. immediately takes hold of the top rope, and the ref admonishes Fugue, telling him to break the hold. Looking towards the ref, Fugue holds the arm, not moving until the count of three, when he leaps up over the top rope, still holding tight, pulling C.I.A’s arm down against the top rope with all his body weight. C.I.A. snaps back hard, crying out, and Fugue immediately rolls back into the ring, kicking C.I.A’s feet out from under him, the Canadian dropping to a seated position a few feet from the ropes.

Axis: Fugue is just attacking viciously, a rather innovative move there, he did indeed break his hold before the count of five, but he may have broken that arm by slamming it down over the top rope like that!

King: That’s right! He’s vicious, he’s dangerous, and he’s got C.I.A. just where he wants him. All he has to do is slap on his finisher, ‘Harmony’. The sound of that rookie’s bones breaking will be music to MY ears!

Edwin: That’s SICK, King! How could any human being think…… never mind, I forgot who I was talking about. You’re not a human being, and you DON’T think.

Proving King’s assessment accurate, Fugue immediately takes hold of the seated C.I.A.’s arms, trying to hook them, and segue into his finisher. C.I.A. realizes this, and rolls his body, twisting and moving to stay out of the hold. After a few moments, C.I.A. manages to reach over and grab the ropes, causing Fugue to abandon the hold, and grab a handful of C.I.A.’s hair, tugging him up to his feet. Rolling his opponent’s arm overhead once more, Fugue attempts to continue his assault with another hard armbar. Quickly, C.I.A. slips his arm free, stepping up next to Fugue and placing one arm around his opponent’s shoulders, sliding his foot around Fugue’s legs, and throwing his body forward, slamming their bodies to the mat.

Edwin: Via Rail! That’s C.I.A.’s backup finisher, apparently out of nowhere!

Axis: It looks like, with his primary finisher taken out of the equation, C.I.A. is ready to improvise, taking Fugue down to the mat with a fierce impact!

King: No, he’s supposed to be screaming! Writhing in agony!

Both men down in the ring, C.I.A. tosses his arm over Fugue’s body, rolling his opponent over, and sliding his body overtop of him for the pin attempt. Sexton Hardcastle drops to the mat, hand coming down to count, slapping the mat.

ONE!

.

TWO!

.

Axis: I don’t believe it!

.

Edwin: He might just do it!

.

THREE!

King: No!

Even as Sexton’s hand slaps the mat for the third time, Fugue’s shoulder rolls off the mat, mere milliseconds too late to save the match.

Axis: With the Via Rail, out of nowhere, C.I.A. takes this match! The sudden impact was too much, and Fugue almost made the kickout. You have to believe this match could have continued, and we would have no doubt been impressed with what both these men can do!

Back in the ring, Fugue lunges for C.I.A., wanting to deal out more damage, but C.I.A. quickly rolls out, making his way up the ramp as secret agent man once more begins to play. Stopping for just a second, C.I.A. raises his hands to the sky, fans cheering, before taking hold of his shoulder in pain, and turning around to make his way backstage.

Axis: Great action from these two relative newcomers, and there’s more on the way tonight, folks.

King: Fast Count! Fast count, I say!

Edwin: Give it up King. NBK and T-Bone are up next, right after a word from our sponsor.

June 6, 2002

And we are back in Richmond after a short, and thankfully surprisingly tasteful commercial break! Rather than the standard pan around the packed house the cameraman opts to completely diss every Virginian in attendance and home right back to the announce table and our Terrible Trio of the SJL, Axis, Edwin, and the Suicide King! All is clearly not well in announcing land however, as the King silently beats his head against the table and Axis makes nervous small talk with the timekeeper. The cause for all of this? What else could it possibly be, except for the fact that Edwin has the SWF World Heavyweight Title wrapped around his head like a big shiny turban?

We apparently cut right into the middle of his diatribe… “-so I says to Sherri, ‘Sherri,’ I says, ‘The word ‘belt’ isn’t a commandment. It’s not etched in stone. Why not,’ I says to her, ‘why not wear it somewhere else? Like as a headband? Or maybe as a garter? Or, dare I even say as an athletic-“

“AND WE ARE BACK!” Axis nervously cuts in, eager to stop the train wreck. “We just witnessed a great match between n00bs Fugue and CIA, and I think I can honestly say that we can expect great things from them in the near future! King, what do you think?”

Thud, thud, thud… King looks up, somewhat bleary-eyed. “What do I think? I think I’m going to be sick. I carried that belt to greatness day in and day out, and Eddie Munster here decides to wrap it around his-“

“BUT WE’VE GOT A GREAT MATCH COMING UP!” Axis nervously interjects as King blathers on about the raw fish and rice of Edwin’s privates being wrapped up in the seaweed of the belt…

Edwin shakes his head, as he returns to our planet. “That’s right, Axis!” Reaching up with a doily, Edwin polishes his shiny golden forehead. “And as the man with the coolest headpiece this side of a lighthouse, I insist upon using the mystical power of my third eye to predict the winner of this match!!!”

“What?”

“My third eye. This thingy.” Edwin reaches up and clanks the belt with a finger. “It is the awesome outgrowth of my superior psychic potential.

Axis nods gravely, considering this for a moment as King renews his forehead trauma routine.

“I’m pretty sure that’s the belt, Edwin.”

Edwin snorts. “BAH! Philistine! It is the sign of my connection to the world of the arcane, the unknown, and the ultra-cool hip suaveness of debonairousity! Fear its wrath! WRATH I SAY!!”

Axis nods again, appearing to solemnly consider that statement before looking up in shock and pointing skywards!

“EDWIN, LOOK! DEAD BIRD!”

“Where?!”

And with one easy, practiced motion Axis grabs the JL commish by the back of the head and rams him face first into the table. The resulting silence would appear to indicate that Edwin is in communication with his otherworldly patrons, or just unconscious. King turns to Axis, and with heartbreaking sincerity…

“Thank you, Axis. Thank you.” The two men share a manly, platonic hug.

The sound of a throat clearing from behind the camera reminds the soap opera that they’re here to announce a match.

“Right!” Axis begins. “We have a match! NBK and T-Bone! Great competitors!”

“No, you’re wrong!” King says. “They suck! I rule!”

“Right, well that appears to have covered all the bases…” Axis notes. “Let’s get to the ring where our combatants are already waiting to start this muther!”

DING DING DING!!

NBK and T-Bone move to lock-up to the silence of a surprisingly dead crowd… they lock up with arms like wet noodles and the strength of tired Chihuahuas! But then, just when the match couldn’t get any worse… a slow rumbling begins to fill the arena, and the rocking rhythms of “The Bad Touch” begin to ignite an inferno in the crowd!!

“Oh my god!” King says. “That music can only mean one thing!”

The crowd begins to explode in anticipation as a hulking hairless figure rips its way through the mat canvas, springing up to it’s full height and revealing its large, swollen, distended, purple, one-eyed head…

“IT”S THE COCK!! THE COCK IS HERE!!”

“I LOVE THE COCK!!”

“EVERYBODY LOVES THE COCK, AXIS!”

The crowd is going nuts as several impromptu make-out sessions begin the front row. NBK and T-Bone huddle together at a corner turnbuckle as the ref wisely gets the hell out of Dodge, leaving two men alone… with the Cock!!!

“What’s he doing? He’s signaling to NBK… and NBK is coming over!! What the hell is he doing?”

“He’s got no choice King! NBK loves the Cock! Everyone does!”

NBK stands sheepishly in front of the Cock, who looks down, down, down at him… before spinning him in place and locking in a rear waistlock!!! NBK’s face shows a mixture of resignation and guilty anticipation as the Cock raises him up and over with a firm grip on his tights…

Cut to camera 3.

Where Axis and the King sit with mouths gaping open in utter shock.

“Can we do that on cable?

“No.”

“Ew.”

Axis looks distinctly uncomfortable as he tries to salvage some play-by-play dignity out of this mess… “Well, that there is the world’s messiest Buttduster Piledriver I have ever seen.”

“Was it necessary to pull his tights down like that?”

Axis considers. “”Strictly speaking, yes. Otherwise he wouldn’t have been able to shove his-“

“AXIS!”

The Cock casts aside the tired and very, very sore body of NBK, before signaling to the cringing T-Bone! The crowd again explodes in direct defiance of the fact that this is basically gay pr0n! The Cock puts his hands on T-Bone’s shoulders…

Cut to camera 3.

Axis nods slowly. “Yep. That’s the Breathalyzer, alright.”

“Poor guy. Well, at least that will wash out the taste of all that steak sauce.”

Unsurprisingly T-Bone is tapping. But you’re just gonna have to take my word of that, aren’t you?

Time passes.

The Cock puts the goat and the bathtub back under the ring, Funyon is putting his tux back on over the sailor suit, and Axis and King are smoking two cigarettes. Edwin has been left face down in the kiddy pool of Vasoline, and all of the handcuffs have been removed. All in attendance sigh, and enjoy the afterglow.

“Coming up next, some match!”

“Yep.”

June 6, 2002

(The camera flickers back on as it reveals the thousands of SJL marks who are now bored out of their minds as two jobbers face off during the intermission. The signs of “FEAR THE NEW SOUND!” and “WE WANT RENEGADE!” are shown. The camera than moves slowly but surely down past the ring, where the jobber hits an amazing DDT for the win, to the announcer’s table.)

“And Fallout takes the win over the newbie!” Edwin proclaims.

“But before we go back into more action oriented Metal we have a surprise! Insane Luchador, self-dubbed True Plague, has left us a tape he’d like to air. So if you all will…” Axis begins and with an arm swipe points to the SmarkTron, it hums to life slowly as the picture begins.

----

Insane Luchador steps in-forward of the lens and adjust the camera. With a smirk he sits back into the chair. Soon he clears his throat and runs his hand through his neatly spiked hair.

“Hello my loyal fans…” He begins sarcastically seating upwards. “It’s time I have revealed a short but sweet secret. Maybe I have signed my own death but I’ve been very observant. I have seen one man in the JL who has shown more potential and threat to me before I climb up that ladder of success. Now I have decided on it… this man will go through more torture than I have ever dished. This man should leave now before he is destroyed… gone from the S-J-L. The True Plague is about to strike; this man will feel my pain.” He gives his best smirk which sends chills down some spines.

---

“Well apparently Insane Luchador has found his next target!” Axis proclaims.

“Oh I’d hate to be him!” Suicide King says.

“Ha, he gave us the same routine with Taylor, and Erek DESTROYED him!” Edwin points out.

“No matter it should be a good fight, maybe we’ll have more to show after this…” Axis asks.

- The screen fades to black leaving fans wondering. -

June 6, 2002

A close up shot of the fifteen foot high ladder is shown as they comeback from commercial break. The camera slowly zooms out and focuses on Funyon as the SJL graphics of the two competitor disappear.

Funyon: Ladies and Gentlemen and the Suicide King!

King: Funyon thinks he’s really funny…

Suicide King gets up from the commentary table and taking off his headset…

MacPhisto: Why the hidleydo are you standing up?

SJL Fanatics around the world! This match-up is scheduled for one fall. High above the ring as per stipulation of this match-up are a US Amateur Wrestling Gold Metal…and The S-J-L Television Title. The first man to retrieve both objects from over fifteen feet above the ring and touch the canvas shall be declared the winner. This, my friends is a Gold versus Gold Ladder Match for The SSS-JJJJ-LLLLLLL Teeelllleviiiiiision Title!

“Oy! Oy! Oy!”

The first few beats of AC/DC’s “TNT” resound throughout the arena, as a hail of boos rains upon the entranceway, both in an oral manner, and in the literal alcohol-related manner. The letters “T-N-T” slink across the Smarktron.

“WATCH ME EXPLOOOOOOOODDDEEEE!!!!!!”

After hearing the opening for Taylor Nicholas Thompson the ecstatic audience boo louder if that’s possible as a sea of red and orange strobe lights reveals TNT. The hulking mass that is Thompson walks with a slight limp down the aisle way underneath the ladder that will be used in his match. His forehead covered in gauze from the ring bell shot he received last Crimson.

Suicide King reaches down and pulls the “Ace of Spades” out from underneath the table where any inanimate or for that matter animate object magically materializes from. King’s black wooden baseball bat gleams in the light as he raises it into the air!

Taylor hops upon the ring apron, flipping the heated audience off to a rather negative reaction, and steps through the ropes. Taylor hits each corner, letting out a "KABOOM!" on each one.

Funyon: Making his way down to ringside…weighing in tonight at 267 pounds…hailing from Anaheim, California…He is the Master Blaster…The longest reigning SJL Television Champing of all time…He is ‘T-N-T’ Taylor Nicholas Thompson!

As the arena light turn off. Funyon gets ready and the crowd gets ready and Suicide King especially gets ready to leave the table and pounce on Funyon with his bat as “Down with the Sickness” plays on low in the background.

[Whispered] ‘Are you Ready?’….

Blue and White strobe lights flash as the Smarktron airs highlights of Mak Francis hitting the perfect kick on TNT. This is followed by a blue and white photonegative image of Mak Francis…

[semi loud] ‘Are you Ready?’….

And a clip of him planting Scott Reid with The Franchise Tag followed by the blue and white photonegative image again…

[screamed] ‘CAUSE THE FRANCHISE HERE!’

The Smarktron flashes the words 'The Franchise' as the lights partially come up. This allows the crowd to see Mak Francis posed with both fists in the air. A huge pop accompanies the normally semi loud “Franchise” chant that breaks out because Suicide King is stalking Funyon in the ring with evil intentions as Francis walks down to ringside and under the metal ladder sporting a brand new gauze pad over his forehead. Tyler Kinkel is not far behind his student strolling to the ring.

Axis: Francis much like TNT wearing a bandage over his newly opened forehead as both men had to be stitched up very quick to be ready for this contest. Francis lost the last match after a brutal bat shot to the face knocking him out and giving TNT the victory. Thompson is a definitely a guy you wouldn’t want to meet in a dark alley.

MacPhisto: But Francis challenged Thompson to a ladder match in hopes of getting another title shot. But Thompson stated it wouldn’t be enough to get a match as nothing was in it for him. You know both these guys have seven years bad luck for going under the ladder.

Axis: Anyways, Mak Francis has been forced to put up his-

MacPhisto: What the heezie is Kingy doing?

Funyon: And the challenger now making his way to ringside…weighing in tonight at 225 pounds…from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania…’The Epitome of Execution’…An US Amateur Gold Medallist…”The Franchise” Maaaaaaaak-

As Funyon is almost finished with introductions King takes a hard cut at his head only for Funyon to duck and take a swing at him grazing his face. King sells it like a pump action shotgun and flies over the top rope and to the outside tumbling a few times for good measure. Francis looks on bewilder, shrugs and enters the ring. He poses in the center as Kinkel sits down at the announcer table after a crawling Suicide King, who’s still selling Funyon’s punch of death.

Axis: Referee Matthew Kivell has signaled for the bell and this Gold v Gold Ladder Match is underway. How are you today Tyler?

Kinkel: Fuck off!

MacPhisto: Hey Kinky are you gonna interfere in this match-up?

Kinkel: What a welcome back to the booth. I try to give you show of my in depth wrestling knowledge and you spit in my face by asking me that question. Mak and myself have talked and I will not interfere in this match-up.

Axis: No this would be spitting in your face.

Axis hocks a spitball straight at Kinkel who dodges and everyone at the announce table stares at him.

Axis: What?! He shouldn’t have told me to fuck off!

TNT and Francis circle the ring as Francis goes for a single leg take down to try and work over TNT’s injured leg like his previous matches but Thompson hobbles away, side stepping. Francis goes after the leg again and grabs it only to receive club shot to his back. Francis jumps away quickly dazed and confused.

MacPhisto: So Kingpins, how does it feel to get biatch slapped by the Fun-daddy!

King: Unggh! It’s still hurts. The pain, I need sustenance…

Axis: And why do you need food?

King: Because…

MacPhisto: I know why, because when Daffy Duck said it those background voices on TV felt sympathy for him.

King: Actually I’m a little hungry after all the work I put into that altercation with Funyon and I was going to get a smoked sausage from that lady vendor over there.

MacPhisto: Funyon’s real name must be Peter Parker to have hit you that hard, seeing as we’re at Spiderman’s Enchanted Palace!

Axis: Smoked sausage. Nah, that’s too easy.

MacPhisto: Not for me! I think it’s official that the Kingster loves the cock! Zing!

King: If that buxom vending wench is giving me sausage then I’ll love it and a view of her cleavage. Can I get a foot long over here?

Axis: Now that’s way too easy.

Kinkel: Can we focus on the match folks?

MacPhisto: No dice Kinky.

King: I’ll point something out in a minute but I’m busy right now.

Francis circles TNT as while King and Edwin ogle at the vendor lady. TNT raises his hands for a collar an elbow tie-up to which Francis obliges. The two men jockey for position in the center of the ring as TNT takes control latching on a side headlock. Francis forces them into the ropes and as they bounce off TNT lets go sprinting away. He ducks under a Francis clothesline upon his return and bounces off the ropes again and hits a running forearm showing no signs of a hurt knee. Francis goes down and gets back up to his feet only to be knocked back down with a thunderous right hand to the forehead.

Axis: TNT taking control so far in this match but he’s still has a knee injury. That’ll be a definite factor in this match-up as Francis has already keyed in on that leg.

Kinkel: The tape we went over suggested that he should. Mak is trying to become a real student of the game.

King: TNT like the killer he is has already taken to shots at Francis’s bandaged forehead. It won’t be long before the blood hits the mat and I can’t wait.

Francis holds his neck on the mat and gets pulled to his feet by the menacing looking TNT. Francis gets whipped into the turnbuckle back first but explodes out right into a stiff clothesline from the TV Champion. The crowd boo’s in disapproval as Thompson goes down to the mat and rubs his forearm across Francis’s forehead. TNT hooks on a reverse chin lock grinding his quasi-free fist across Francis’s face.

King I’m so proud of TNT. He’s been acting like a young me as of late except for that meaningless loss to the German guy. He’d have been a much better tag partner for my first match out of retirement than that Jersey reject Z! Did you hear the pop I got MacPhisto.

MacPhisto: It was nothing compared to my almighty cheap pop. It is louder than a sonic boom and stronger than the cocky pin. Many opponents have fallen to my cheap pop!

King: But I put on a wrestling clinic for these JL goobers.

Axis: On how to avoid a tag!

King: Didn’t I tell you before that until you get a World Title your opinions mean shit!

TNT’s attack is finally stopped as Francis gets to a knee and hits an elbow deep to his gut, and after another painful strike Francis attempts to whip TNT into the ropes but it’s reversed and Francis is flung with authority. On his return TNT grabs at Francis for an Overhead Belly to Belly suplex but Francis baseball slides underneath and connect with a concrete like shoulder clipping TNT’s knee.

Kinkel: Finally, “The Franchise” is monopolizing on TNT’s knee.

MacPhisto: Hey only real announcers are allowed to use word play.

King: Finally! If it were me, I’d have hurt it before the bell even sounded. If you don’t have a good knee you can’t climb a ladder and therefore get to the gold above the ring.

Francis holds the knee in place as he goes into a handstand and drops his knee across the back of TNT’s. Francis repeats the knee drop and then he stands up and drives the point of his elbow to Thompson’s knee alternating each attack. Thompson scrapes his way towards the ropes while Francis continues his bombardment and Kivell tries to make Francis back off. Francis backs away as ordered as TNT gets back to his vertical base.

King: What the hell is Francis doing! When he first came into the SJL he was all about taking advantage of any opportunity to cheat. And now in a No DQ Ladder match with his gold medal on the line he’s backing off. Kinkel you’ve let the kid be de-balled.

Axis: I’d hardly call a person being a good sportsman…de-balled.

King: He’s been cheating less and less. And it’s caused him to lose more and more. He was 4-1. Had a four-match wins streak and was the hottest wrestlers in the SJL but now he can’t even string together two wins in a row. If he keeps this up he won’t be the star I predicted him to be but a pansy ass wannabe!

MacPhisto: Here’s nice little tidbit from your friendly neighborhood champion. Cheaters never prosper and nice guys don’t always finish last. Trust me on that one.

Kinkel: Maybe…maybe…

Francis and TNT go toe to toe trading right hands in the center of the ring. TNT blocks an overhand right by Francis and peppers his with a straight jab to the forehead. Francis attacks again and promptly gets blocked as TNT continues his flurry of fists. Francis goes for a kick to TNT’s knee but the TV champion is ready and catches his foot. He spins Francis a full 360 degrees and kicks him in the midsection doubling him over in anguish. Thompson sticks Francis’s head in between his legs and lifts him vertical dropping to the canvas in a devastating piledriver. TNT goes for the cover and remembers what type of match this is. He slowly rolls out of the ring and limps towards the entrance ramp to retrieve the ladder. Francis finally stirs on the canvas getting up to one knee as TNT claims the ladder and brings it down to ringside.

Axis: TNT has the ladder and--

As Axis states this Francis gains a full head of steam and divies through the top and middle ropes in a flying body attack!

CRASH!

King: La dive de suicida by Francis! He pushed the ladder right into the face of TNT in a tribute to me, The Suicide King!

Axis: And TNT is busted WIDE open now! His face has to look like a car wreck after that. And I hardly think it was a tribute to you.

MacPhisto: Car wreck…where?! I always try not to look but you can’t take your eyes off them. They draw you in, much like that suicide dive just did. I personally didn’t think cars were allowed at ringside but if they are…

Kinkel: Are you serious-

MacPhisto: What’s the problem Kinky-

King: And yet he’s smart enough to create a fully functional rocket out of the foil from two sticks of gum, a bobby pin, two matches and his wife’s vibrator-

[You can actually do this if your cool like me…well not with the vibrator…or can you?!]

MacPhisto: I thought you got all the vibrator jokes out in their last match.

King: Nope! Tyler you should have seen that thing vibrate!

MacPhisto: Drop it!

King: It was spinning around on the ground in a circle and finally just kept banging into a chair before his wife saw it!

MacPhisto: Def Leppard collection…

King: Okay I get the picture…but Tyler uh…even I have to admit it was a great bar trick…even without the vibrator…

Kinkel: He’s just like MacGuiver only with Phisto instead of Guiver!

Axis: Now that was a great show. Did you even see it when he disarmed a bomb on a cruise ship with a straw by sticking it through the a jelly like sealing substance in between the bomb and it’s glass case. And then sucked up the explosive powder because the straw introduced air to an airtight vacuum. When that happened the air inside was sucked out creating the effect of a vacuum! Best MacGuiver Ever!

King: Yup, that MacGuiver was something else…

Axis: Or the one where MacGuiver…

MacPhisto: [speaking over Axis] I can’t believe I’m saying this but back to the action.

Francis and TNT are finally getting to there feet as Edwin redirects the cameras towards them. TNT’s protective covering is gone and blood is leaking onto his face, while Francis is holding his shoulder. His arm is trapped under the ladder. Francis rolls over and unhitches his arm from around the ladders rung and shakes it out, trying to get the blood circulating. Meanwhile, TNT’s tries to stop his blood from circulating as it gets into his eyes and hair. TNT’s the first person to his feet and hobbles over toward Francis who promptly hooks his ankle causing him to drop face first onto the ladder. Blood spatters on the metallic ladder and floor as TNT tries to regain his bearings. Francis continues to wince from the pain in his shoulder as he stands up and stalks TNT.

Axis: And so far the ladder has really come into play! It’s reopened TNT’s forehead and injured Francis’s shoulder. Both men already have a lot of wear and tear on them and the ladder hasn’t even be put in the ring yet.

Kinkel: Bleed sucka bleed.

King: Finally somebody’s bleeding. It took them long enough. You’d think Francis would have bleed already if the crowd popped for it.

MacPhisto: Hey don’t go badmouthing cheap pop.

Axis: How can you enjoy this? How can either of you look at yourselves in the mirror.

Kinkel: Quite easily actually. We’re both ruggedly handsome…look at Mak prying TNT’s lifeless body away from the ladder so that he can win the match. It takes a lot of concentration not to laugh at your opponent when they’re down!

MacPhisto: I just built a cappuccino machine from a string, three paper clips, a cappuccino maker and the book “How to build a cappuccino machine from a cappuccino maker, paper clips and string”.

Francis lift up the ladder and tries to toss it through the ropes but it gets caught and bounces back towards him. He’s barely able to dodge the ladder as it clanks to the floor a few audience members start up a “You fucked up” chant, which quickly loses steam. Francis thinks about it again and slide the ladder under the bottom rope as TNT charges him from behind and throws him with a German suplex continuing to hold onto “The Franchise’s” waist as he lift him up again and attempts a second suplex which drops him hard to the ground on the outside, seeing as though it was a releasing German suplex. TNT gets up and slowly limps to the ring while Francis just cradles his neck in pain.

Axis: Rolling German suplexes on the outside by TNT to get him back in control of this match-up. You can tell this match is serious because TNT’s wasting no time in getting that ladder set-up. He wants to end this as quickly as possible.

King: Don’t worry Axis TNT will give us a show before he gets his title back. He’ll cheat, then cheat some more and gimp up the ladder to get his title and Francis’s medal. It’s just that simple. I’m so disappointed in Mak…

A small Franchise chant slowly gets louder and stronger as Mak makes it to his feet and crawls up on the apron ring after grabbing the bell in hand.

MacPhisto: I finally have some respect for Francis. He’s gritting it out and trying to get in the ring to stop TNT from ending this match.

Francis lobs the ring bell into the squared circle and it lands dead center on top of TNT’s head dropping him and the ladder to the mat.

Kinkel: DING! DONG-

MacPhisto: Who’s there?

Kinkel: …You really ruined that for me.

Axis: Francis entering through the top and middle ropes looking a little proud of himself because of his good aim. He grabs the ladder and places it up against the corner opposite him…and dashes across the ring to pick up Thompson whose just now shaking the cobwebs out. Francis dropping the point of his elbow onto TNT’s neck and now an Irish whip by Francis…no reversed by TNT…and re-reversed by Francis as he send TNT into the neutral corner and sprints in after him…TNT up and over the top of Francis and he hooks a Full Nelson on the dazed Francis from running into the turnbuckle…

KABOOM!

Axis: Magnificent Dragon Suplex by TNT and no bridge attempt here by Thompson, as he won’t make the same mistake twice.

TNT calmly steps on Francis’s chest walking over him literally and figurative and after limping to the corner is about to place the ladder in the center of the ring but then he gets his a gleam in his eye and goes to the outside grabbing his metal bat from underneath the ring. As he returns Francis’s body moves for the first time in a while. TNT suddenly drops the bat and turns towards the ring bell that plunked him over the head earlier. He picks the bell up taking his time to get back over to his opponent.

MacPhisto: Why'd he drop the bat?

Axis: I think he’s going to ring Francis’s bell, with that bell!

King: Well TNT’s finally stopped bleeding but I think it’s about that time for Francis!

Thompson drops the bell off to the side of Francis and picks him up to a knee. The crowd chants for the Franchise but he’s out on one knee. TNT flips off the crowd eliciting more boos as he rips Francis’s bandage from his forehead under hooking both arms…

Kinkel: Geez Louise TNT’s gonna to drop Mak face first onto that ring bell! Why is there even a referee there?

Axis: Window dressing…

Kinkel: What about Mak’s health and welfare?

King: it’s a serious match with big time stakes what did you expect. The referee to admonish people once the match got going. This is about gory carnage and no referee’s going to stop it.

MacPhisto: No referee’s gonna to stop this match, even if a wrestler passes out. Mak made the match and now he’ll have to live with its consequences. If he’s knock out then TNT will just have to climb the ladder and get the title to end the contest! Same thing goes for TNT!

And Thompson dives down to do the damaging deed as a loud DING echoes through the arena. The Franchise is busted open with authority as the ring bell and surrounding canvas is splattered with blood. The crowd lets out a collective “oh” as Francis doesn’t seem to be getting up. TNT is very satisfied why his work as the crowd rain down boos like a torrent.

King: Let me finish your original statement Tyler with a little edit from a former world champion: DING DONG THE FRANCHISE’S DEAD! Let the blood hit the mat. This is great stuff by both TNT and Francis. I’m laughing at Francis on the outside but…

Kinkel: Crying on the inside that’s so sensitive Kinger! I feel his pain too right now.

King: Nah, I’m laughing on the inside too. His head went splat and if he doesn’t want to cheat I say more pain, suffering and losing to him!

Kinkel: You’d be surprised what a person can accomplish if they don’t cheat…

TNT rolls Francis out of the way and sets up the ladder directly under the belt and medal. He starts climbing to the negative response of the fans slowly going up the ladder. It seems to be taking a lot of him as he’s struggling after five steps. He pauses for a moment and continues up the ladder with the crowd starting another anti-TNT chant but it didn’t phase him at all. TNT reaches out trying to grab at the two dangling objects but he just can’t quite reach them. His knee aches but just as he decides to tuff it out Mak Francis executes a textbook dropkick to the ladder causing it and him to tip over until he hits the mat with a loud THUD!

Axis: He dropkicked the ladder…good idea…

MacPhisto: This match is too close to call. Both men are bleeding and as busted as Suicide Kings last girlfriend…Zing!

King: I don’t worry about what she looks like. We’re just sex buddies.

Kinkel: Call the match and talk about Mak’s perfect execution on his dropkick. Or the guts it takes to get up after a double under hook DDT on the ring bell. Talk about anything other than this crap!

MacPhisto: Calm down Kinkster or your face will stay that way.

Axis: And Francis has moved the ladder and wedged it into the corner. He’s going to try and ground TNT before going up the ladder because of what he just did to Thompson’s attempt at the gold.

Francis’s face is drenched in blood as he picks up the weakened TNT and whip him towards the ladder but TNT reverses the whip and Francis gets nailed in the chest with the ladder. TNT charges in after his opponent as fast as he can on a bad wheel and goes for a corner splash but suddenly Francis side steps and TNT crashes against the sturdy ladder. Francis seems to have an idea as he stands beside TNT grapevining his leg and putting his hands on opposite sides of TNT’s neck grabbing a hold of the ladder.

Axis: What the hell is he doing now?

MacPhisto: I’ve got suspicions but none of them are pretty…

Kinkel: Do it to it Mak!

TNT regains his equilibrium but it’s already too late as Francis bring the ladder to Thompson’s neck and drops backwards in a Side Russian Leg Sweep. TNT holds both hands to his neck in a choking motion as his shoulders spasm in pain as Francis grins at his coach with blood dripping down his face

Axis: What an unusual move by “The Franchise”!

MacPhisto: A Ladder Russian Leg Sweep by Francis! That has to be it for TNT!

King: It ain’t over until somebody climbs the ladder. TNT does still have a chance if he can get to his feet.

But Francis seems to have another idea as he grabs TNT’s legs and pretzel them into the shape of a four. Francis drops down to the mat as TNT scream out in pain.

Kinkel: Figure Four! Figure Four by Mak!

TNT drags Francis towards the announce table side of the ring and finally gets to the ropes but referee Matthew Kivell just shakes his head as TNT yells to break the hold.

MacPhisto: This is a No DQ match.

Finally TNT remembers something and after a quick look to his left, then his right…TNT finds the object he was looking for. He grasps the metal bat in his hands and swing with all his might knocking the Franchise out cold and forcing his prone body to release the hold.

King: Vicious bat shot by Thompson!

Axis: Shades of the finish to their last match on Crimson. TNT with a brutal shot to the skull of Mak Francis.

Kinkel: Mak won’t lose this match! I won’t let him.

MacPhisto: I thought you said you wouldn’t interfere Kinky.

Kinkel: You’re right…I can’t…damn it Mak you have to win!

TNT just lays on the mat as Francis finally starts to twitch waking up from the bat shot. TNT sees Francis trying to move and puts all his energy into getting to his feet. Francis sits up shaking away the stars and finally gets to his knees and the crowd roars for him to get up but TNT makes it to his feet first on his gimpy knee and drags Francis up from his knees. TNT blasts Francis with a right hand splattering Francis’s blood on his fist but his opponent merely attacks back with a shin kick to the side of his knee. The two men trade attacks until Francis hits pay dirt and TNT knee collapses.

Axis: TNT giving it his all but the injured knee just can’t take the punishment.

MacPhisto: Francis is in bad shape too…

Francis picks up the ladder as he gets to his feet and sets it up in the center of the ring locking the clasps to secure a victory for himself. As he starts to climb the ladder rung by rung, TNT staggers to his feet. His legs look like rubber bands but he still has the presence of mind to climb up the ladder inching closer to the Franchise. Francis doesn’t have a clue he’s anywhere near him and starts to pass out from lack of blood. His head droops down but he continues on, as his only goal is to get the Gold. TNT being 6 foot 6 uses his long arms and quick grips Francis in a reverse face lock causing the weary warrior to almost bend over backwards as TNT dives back first, to the canvas, off the middle of the ladder in a sickening Inverted DDT!

Axis: OH MY GOD! The kids’ neck…

King: Ah I’ve suffered worse and still won but Francis isn’t me. This is the kind of carnage I like to see. His neck has to be snapped after that.

Kinkel: [in shock] No…Mak’s leg wouldn’t be banging against the canvas like that if his neck was broken…

MacPhisto: True, True.

After about three or four minutes TNT is able to inch over to the ropes and prop himself up. He looks down and smiles taking this opportunity to hobble over to the ladder as his opponent lays broken in the ring. Kinkel gets up for the booth, throwing his headphones away and runs to the side of the ring yelling at Mak to get up. Francis looks to be in a daze but as TNT steps on the first rung of the ladder he blinks a few times and grabs at the ropes. Kinkel shout for joy and lifts the ring apron searching for something. He rather hastily pulls another ladder from under the ring and slides it towards Francis who’s now up to one knee! TNT steadily struggles rung by rung but he’s moving very slow. Francis not really recovered is walking like a zombie dragging the new ladder behind him. Francis sets it up directly next to TNT’s and starts to climb catching up to the TNT at the top of their ladders as they’re side by side. The two guys trade right hands on top of the ladders as they start to sway…

MacPhisto: Dueling ladders, dueling ladders!

King:

Thompson hits a knife-edge chop and Francis returns the favor with his own knife-edge soliciting “Wooooo’s” from the crowd. They continue to trade chops a top the ladder in a knife-edge duel with neither man getting the advantage. Finally TNT takes a shot at the ladder causing it to lean on its edge. But Francis pushes all his weight in the opposite direction and brings it back hitting TNT ladder and forcing him to do the same. Then they both decide at the same time to push each other’s ladders causing the heavy metal ladders finally tip over…

CRASH!

King: [laughing] Look, TNT and Mak have both been crotched on the top rope.

MacPhisto: [chuckling] Stereo crotchings! What a great match. There faces…look at…BWHAHAHA!

Axis: I should feel sorry for them but it’s just too funny…

Kinkel: No it isn’t!

Axis: When the hell did you get back here?

Kinkel: Right after I gave Mak the table you Rugby loving Kangaroo!

Axis attempts to jump over Suicide King and beat up Kinkel but King holds him back.

Axis: Just let me get one good shot at this prick. That’s all I want!

Kinkel: Just call the action Axis!

Francis and TNT both fall off the tope ropes after straddling them and land to the mat with a thud. Francis is the first one to his feet as TNT’s knee is really giving him problems. Francis lifts up his ladder and drags it to the center setting it up as he starts to climb.

Kinkel: It’s all over; Mak is the new TV champ. All hale “The Franchise” and the new Television Champion!

Francis reaches for both pieces of Gold but can’t quite reach it. He stalls at the top for a second as he holds his gonads and finally realizes just how much they hurt. By this time TNT is up to his feet and he has slowly gotten below Francis on the ladder. He slowly climbs up the ladder as Francis reaches for the two pieces of gold again and his fingers graze them. Francis tries to move up one more rung but TNT under hooked both of his arms pinning them in a backslide like manner…

King: He’s got Francis hooked and gonna EXPLODE!!!

As King says this TNT drives Francis on his back and neck into the mat with a modified Tiger Driver 92’ from just below the top of the ladder! The crowd goes silent as Francis hits the mat hard with no chance of getting up! TNT goes up the ladder and he almost reaches the Gold but “The New Sound” Flunkmaster Flexxx and Poisyn run down to ringside!

Kinkel: Feel this moment Axis! Feel it for the rest of you Aussie lovin’ life!

MacPhisto: What the hell’s going on?

Flexxx pushes over the ladder causing TNT to fall to the mat after falling neck first on the top rope, while Poisyn sets up the other ladder. Poisyn drags Francis to his feet and gives him a push up the ladder, going back to help Flexxx beat on TNT. Francis climbs up the ladder slowly but surely and finally grabs the Title and his Gold medal falling to the mat from off the ladder victorious.

Funyon: The winner of this match and your NEW Television Champion…”The Franchise” Maaaaaaaaak Fraaaaaaaanciiiiis!

Kinkel: It all came together. We said I wouldn’t cheat for him but we never said anything about anybody else!

King: I see it now. When they came out earlier-

Axis: Francis’s who they were talking about joining “The New Sound”. What a shock…I new the kid was dirty ever since the beginning! Everything he said about doing it for the fans was a lie!

King: Finally Mak’s proved me right. I said he had talent and now he’s the TV champ and newest New Sounder.

MacPhisto: Cut this off and go to a commercial!

June 6, 2002

***Backstage, Kevin Cole stands with the number one contender for the European title, Tod deKindes. With hands on hips, he appears to be looking down at the floor, contemplating about nothing and everything at once. While his silver shades hide most of his facial features, it's clear that he has a lot in mind.***

Cole: Tod deKindes, this is it, you get another shot at the European title which some say you lost quite unfairly over a month ago. This time you're going up against the massive Frost, what are your thoughts?

***Tod slowly rises up his head, ready to break his self-imposed silence...but instead he quickly turns his head to his left, seeing a large and European mass approach to the interviewer's left. Frost, with belt around his waist and all oiled up for his upcoming match, towers over Kevin Cole, with a bit of an amused smirk on his face.***

Frost: You just do not want to learn, do you? ...

***Although he's looking at a pair of silver shades, Frost knows that his eyes are locked with Tod's eyes in an intense stare.***

Frost: You weren't in no condition before to face me for this belt. You ran off, claiming to be injured and then you forfeited this title to a no-good cripple, just so you could avoid feeling my wrath in that ring. I know that fear has no meaning for you, Tod deKindes... But what makes you think you will have any chance tonight? (holding up his wrist, points right at it) The blood that runs through these veins is pure European... Whereas you...your blood is Canadian. You were adopted by Europeans. Your heritage, it is not real...Everything you are now, you know it isn't real...And that's what I intend to show you tonight...That YOU are not for real...That you do not deserve MY European title...

***Not answering right away, Tod looks down on the floor, taking in what the champion just said. He calmly removes his shades, folds them up neatly and slides them into his trenchcoat pocket. Tod looks up, looking right into the eyes of ice before him. For the first time in weeks, he finally speaks.***

Tod: ......I know what you're up to...And I've seen that shit before...TOO often. And if you think I'm gonna let YOU get away with it, you are - dead - wrong...

***Frost, quickly realizing that he's not talking about the match, furrows his brow in question. He goes to ask him to meaning of that statement, but Tod's already walked away...***

Cole: ...All right, European title on the line, this man defending against Tod deKindes, it's right up next!

***Frost throws one last intimidating stare towards the interviewer before walking away as well, in his own direction.***

June 6, 2002

***Back on the air, the camera quickly cuts back to the commentator’s table at ringside, where Axis, King and Edwin stare intently at their monitors with confusion at the scene that just took place in the back.***

Axis: Wow.

Edwin: Sheesh.

King: What the hell was that?

***The three raise their heads up and exchange puzzled glances. Axis notices the camera on them and regains his classic composure.***

Axis: Tod deKindes finally opens his mouth after much silence to let Frost know that he’s in on his plans.

King: What plans for what? He’s more confusing than a chinese phone book.

Edwin: Well, as far I know Tod isn’t Frost’s therapist, barber or bartender so I don’t think he’s spilling his guts to the wunderkind. Maybe he’s been calling John Edwards.

King: Tod is just jealous that the hottest and toughest chick in the SJL has the hots for Frost and not the skinny wimp that he is.

Axis: Sydney has been rejecting Frost at every turn and Tod has done or said nothing up to this point that we know of that would make us think that he should be counted among the World’s champions romantic suitors.

King: Oh, come on, OF COURSE he wants to get with Sydney, who wouldn’t?! She’s luscious all over. Those long legs, luscious. That tight stomach, very luscious. That sweet ass, MM MM luscious. Those big ass hooters, you better BELIEVE ME when I say they're luscious.

***Edwin takes a piece of paper from underneath their desk and hands it to King.***

Edwin: This fax just came in for you from NOW. They’re suing you for defamation of the female character.

King: (not impressed) Again. Whaddya know.

***With that, the camera cuts to the always dapper Funyon holding court in the ring as the thousands in attendance whoop up with noise and anticipation for the next match. The spiffy "SJL European Championship" graphic swooshes by over on the screen, signaling the second title match of the evening.***

Axis: All right now, it's time for some European title action!

…

Funyon: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest scheduled for one fall, is for the SJL Eurooo - Pean Heavyweight championship!! (fans cheer at the thought of the upcoming match) In this contest, there is NO time limit, and as usual, the belt can change hands by either pinfall or submission … Introducing first, the challenger …

***The opening heavy licks of Slipknot's "I Am Hated" bursts out of the speakers and rapes each and every spectator's hearing capabilities, as the arena lights make way for hypnotizing strobe light effects, along with heavy smoke filling out the entrance way. Tod makes his way out, clad in the usual attire. He walks out, true to his usual intense pace, all while throwing random looks at the crowd through his silver shades. He stops at ringside, doing a 180 and looking at all the people that cheer for him, something he wasn't always used to hearing. He turns back to the ring and slides under the bottom rope. He walks around the ring to the violent pace of his theme song and then climbs up to the second rope in a random corner, bellowing out his mighty roar to the fans, who answer back in unison. He steps down, acknowledging the masses with a quick nod of the head, and then proceeds to remove his trench coat and shades, handing them to the nearby ringboy.***

Axis: We saw this young man watching the interactions between Sydney Sky and Frost very closely, what could his interest be in those two? I'm guessing we'll find out in due time.

Edwin: What intrigues me is that Tod mentioned something he wasn't gonna let happen again. You gotta wonder what he was talking about with that.

King: If you ask me, it's just Tod looking for trouble. You know how incredibly stupid he can get! He'll run his mouth off once too many times and then get the beating of a lifetime. Hell, it happened with TNT just last month!

***While Tod stretches in the ropes, the thrashing sounds of Slipknot slowly fades to silence and crowd murmurs; as Funyon brings up the mic to his lips once again.***

Funyon: And his opponent …

***The groovy and retro sounds of Blue Oyster Cult's "Cities On Flame With Rock And Roll" blazes out from the speakers, signaling the arrival of one and only one man.***

Funyon: And his opponent … From Reykjavik, Iceland, weighing in at 134 kilos, he is the SJL Eurooopean Heavyweight Champion … He is the Iceman from Iceland … He is … Frrrrrrroooooossssssst!!!

***The man known as Frost makes with a slow but purposeful stride to the ring, as the European belt once worn by his opponent rests around his massive waist. He stops at ringside to throw an intimidating look at Tod -who's leaning backwards on the ropes, staring right back at Frost- and then he climbs up to the ring apron in one giant step. He throws his leg over the top rope, and then the other, entering the ring in an imposing fashion. He walks up to the ropes, drilling holes in the crowd with his eyes, while raising up a single solitary fist of dominance in the air. He stops in center ring, and locks eyes once again with Tod, all while unstrapping his belt and handing it off to referee Mark Hebner. Hebner raises the ten pounds of gold high up in the air for all to see, confirming that the title is indeed on the line. While he goes to hand if off to the timekeeper, Tod approaches the center of the ring, as he and Frost engage in an intense face-to-face staredown.***

Axis: You gotta wonder what's going through these gentlemen's heads as we speak. Is it respect? Is it hatred? Who knows…

Edwin: We all know that Frost views Tod as nothing more than a mere annoyance; whereas Tod wants nothing more than to climb the ladder of success here in the SJL and then earn the respect of his peers. He has mine, that's for sure.

King: You're a damn ass kisser, you know that.

Edwin: At least I don't keep my VINYL collection in a SUITCASE! Try a CD, King!

King: Why, you…Don't EVER talk in blasphemy about my Def Leppard vinyls!!

***Hebner gives out some final instructions to both men, concluding by ordering them to a corner each. They come back out as the bell rings, and connect with a lock up right away.***

Axis: European title on the line, here we go!!

***Tod tries with all his might to push the gargantuan Frost off his feet, but Frost shoves him backwards into the turnbuckle with authority.***

Edwin: Great display of power by Frost in the early going.

King: My eyes must be playing tricks on me. Because I could've sworn that Frost threw Tod IN THE THIRD ROW!!

***Tod gets to his feet, shakes it off and gets set for lock up number two. They connect with a second collar and elbow tie up. Knowing his experience with lock ups against bigger opponents, Tod quickly grabs a headlock and cranks it on. Frost, however, simply picks up Tod in the back suplex position and casually tosses him back down to the mat. When Tod gets to his feet once again, he sees Frost sending a hearty chuckle after him, all while shaking his head.***

King: Just look at this. TOO much power by Frost. This is a battle Tod deKindes CAN'T win.

Edwin: His odds don't look good, but I know that Tod is all about finding an opponent's weak spot and then working on it.

***Tod challenges Frost for one more lock up, to which he'll happily comply. They go to connect with the move once again, but Tod quickly rolls under and starts hammering Frost with right hands to the side of the head! Irish attempt by Tod, but it's quickly reversed by the champion. Tod ducks two clotheslines and a back elbow and comes right back with dropkick to the knee, sending Frost tumbling forward.***

Axis: There's that weak spot you were mentionning!

***Frost is quick to his feet and shakes off the pain in his leg, and looks fuming. He charges at the German grappler with a ferocious clothesline, looking just about ready to remove his head from his body; but Tod slides under his legs and clips him behind the knee. Frost is once again briefly down, giving Tod the chance to stomp on him and drop a few rapid elbow drops in succession. He brings him to his feet, gives him a few more right hands for good measure, and then plants a boot in his gut, doubling him over. He runs the ropes and scores with an impressive swinging neckbreaker on the big man. He runs off another set of ropes and nails a knee drop right on the forehead of Frost. Attempted cover.***

*One!*

***Frost propels Tod in the air and off of him, freeing himself from the pin attempt. Tod is the quicker one, however, as he dropkicks Frost right back in the knee as he was getting up. Frost, definitely feeling some pain in his limb now, is down to one knee. More right hands to the head by Tod. He picks Frost back up, sends him tumbling down with a snapmare and then dropkicks him viciously in the back of the head. He pulls him up to his feet once again, and tries to Irish whip him in the ropes, again; and *again* Frost reverses. He tries to mow Tod down with another brutal clothesline, but Tod catches the arm and floats over into a picture perfect DDT. Cover.***

*One!*

*Tw…--

***It's still way too early, as Frost powers out once again. He's trying to shake the cobwebs loose, but Tod is too quick for him, as he runs at him and tackles him into a corner, almost a reasonable variant on his corner spear. He hooks his massive arms in an attempt at his usual overhead release double underhook belly to belly suplex; but Frost headbutts him in the face to free himself. While Tod staggers all the way to center ring, Frost charges at him but Tod quickly drops down, scissors Frost's legs and sends him crashing to the mat with a drop toe hold. He floats over into a Fujiwara armbar … and then into a surprise Majistral Cradle!***

*One!*

*Two!*

***Kick out by the champion. Tod grabs him from behind in a rear waist lock, and tries to lift him up for a german suplex. When Frost is a little reluctant to comply, Tod hammers him in his massive upper back with solid forearm shots; and THEN lifts him up and back down, completing the suplex. He bridges into a pin.***

*One!*

*Two!*

***Another kickout by Frost.***

Axis: Amazing strength by the challenger, here!

Edwin: Say what you will, but Tod is dictating the pace so far in this match up!! He's staying on top of the champion!

***Tod grabs the champion by the little hair he has and gets set to deal more offense on the champion, but the Icelander comes back with a knee lift that drives the air out of Tod. He goes for his own Irish whip, but Tod counters it with an arm wrench and then BLASTS him with the resounding SMACK of a standing side kick to the jaw. He grabs the dazed Frost and lifts him up in the fireman's carry position and then drives him down with authority to the canvas, perpendicular to the turnbuckles.***

Axis: And there's a DVD by the challenger! It's normally the precursor to one move and one move only …

***Tod staggers out towards the turnbuckles, still recovering from the effort needed to lift up the near 300 pounder and climbs up the ropes. He dives off with a full front flip, connecting with his trademark swanton bomb.***

Edwin: There's that swanton bomb by Tod deKindes! That could do it!

Axis: Cover!

*One!*

*Two!*

***Despite taking this much offense from the challenger, Frost still finds it within him to power out. As Frost gets up to his feet, Tod runs the ropes and nails him with a spear in center ring, punctuated by rapid fire right hands to the side of the head. He bounces off the far ropes and seals the deal with a fist drop right on the head. Frost, not used to being outgunned to this extent, retreats to a corner. Tod immediately meets up with him and climbs to the second rope…***

Axis: Do you speak any German, guys? Because Tod deKindes is about to give Frost a lesson in numbers!

Crowd:(counting along with each of Tod's punches)Eine! Zwei! Drei! Vier! Funf! Sech --…oooh!

***That last sound is them reacting at Frost's outstretched arm violently lodging itself between Tod's unmentionables. He grabs Tod on his shoulder and muscles him all the way up in a press slam, even doing some reps with him.***

Edwin: Wuh-oh.

King: Gentlemen, I hereby declare Tod deKindes' portion of offense OVER! Frost now has him in his clutches and WATCH as he absolutely DISMANTLES the pseudo German!

***Frost walks around, holding up Tod in the press slam. He walks over to one side of the crowd, as they protest, surely not wanting to receive 227 pounds of flying German mass on their lap. Frost walks over to the opposite side of the crowd, who sympathizes with their arena brethren and protest as well. Frost, who's been holding up Tod all this time, simply opts to walk over to the entrance ramp's side of the ropes and HURLS him like a sack of potatoes onto that very metal ramp!***

King: Whoa!!

Axis: Tod deKindes just went SAILING over fifteen feet into the air and landed HARD onto that ramp!!

***Frost bellows at the crowd with macho exuberance as one half boos him back and the other half murmurs inquiries on Tod’s well-being. He twists his body to face up the ramp and crawls a few painful inches up it. Frost steps over the ring ropes and stands on the apron eyeing Tod, pleased at how quickly he shut the German down.***

King: Tod is slinking off to lick his wounds like a dirty old egg sucking hound.

Edwin: I doubt if he even knows where he’s at. He’s probably just…(realizing what King just said) wait, a WHAT?!

King: Johnny Cash song. You’d know that if your cultural tastes didn’t run toward N’Sync and Hello Kitty.

Edwin: This from Def Leppard man.

***Tod pushes himself up to his knees and a tiny gash can be seen on the right side of his forehead trickling blood. He gains his feet and staggers around like a drunk fumbling his way home at 4 a.m. He instinctively turns back to the ring and stumbles back to the mouth of the entrance ramp. Referee Mark Hebner admonishes Frost to get back in the ring and has yet to begin a count out on Tod. Frost simply waves the man off and hunkers down with his knees bent out and his right arm outstretched.***

Axis: What does he have in mind?.

King: Tod said he knew what Frost was planning, let’s find out if he sees this coming.

***Tod places a foot on the black mats outside the ring and looks up as he can feel a shadow fall across his face. Frost leaps off the apron with all of the spring he can muster and crashes into Tod with a flying clothesline. Frost slides off of him to land lightly on the entrance ramp and rolls off the side of it to his feet. Tod does a midair sommersault from the impact and lands on the cold steel ramp with a crunch.***

Axis: My God! The force of that blow could be measured on the Richter scale.

King: They should name earthquakes like they do hurricanes, and each one would be named Frost.

Edwin: And they should just name every hurricane Suicide King. Nothing but hot air.

***The crowd unites this time in their jeering as Frost pivots around on his feet to face each side of the auditorium and waves them on with his arms out to egg the crowd on. The referee slides under the bottom rope to the floor and checks on Tod to see if he can continue. The gash is now wider and longer and blood is starting to streak down, clouding Tod’s vision in his right eye.***

Axis: Despite the two wicked shots he just took from Frost, Tod appears to be weakly pushing the referee away and wants to return to the ring. The soul of this young man is astounding.

King: Astoundingly STUPID! This match is over. Put the chairs up on the tables, turn off the lights and lock the doors, it’s good night Irene!

Edwin: Is that another Johnny Cash song or a stripper you met last night down at the Fox Hole?

***Frost stalks over to the crumpled heap of Tod deKindes and pushes the ref off of him. Hebner trips a few steps backwards, but regains his footing and yells at Frost red faced to watch himself. Frost pretends not to hear him as he pulls Tod up by the sides of his head and leads him back to the ring. Frost flings Tod back in the ring under the bottom rope and slithers in to rest on top of him with a body press for the cover. Hebner quickly remembers his duties and slips back into the ring from the right side so he can get a good view of Tod’s shoulders. He slaps the mat and counts.***

* One! *

* Two! *

* Thr—

Axis: No, no, no. Hebner stops the count after he spots Tod’s foot lying under the bottom rope and hanging off the apron.

King: He didn’t do that on purpose, the man is dead. He’s just a corpse flopping around.

Edwin: So many disses I could say to you about flopping corpses, so little time.

***Hebner taps on Frost’s shoulder and points down to the leg laying out of the ring. Frost shoots the ref a wide-eyed glare of ‘you can’t be serious. He’s out.’ Regardless, Frost regains his feet and pulls deKindes up by his right shoulder. He lies limp against the big man’s chest as Frost walks him out to the center of the ring, but his eyes can been seen half open and he’s forcing deep breaths to fill his lungs to rejuvenate himself.***

Axis: Frost has been taking his sweet old time with Tod and that might hurt him as the former Euro champ appears to be coming around.

King: DON’T YOU PEOPLE EVER LISTEN TO ME! He’s dead, dead, dead, dead. D, E, D! DEAD!!

***Frost lifts up Tod’s right arm and secures his forearm up underneath his shoulder for the Ice Shelf. The crowd boos and Frost laughs at them, thinking that their noise could affect him or the outcome of the match. In that second, Tod slips out of Frost’s grasp and collapses to the canvas in a heap. Frost edges him with the toe of his boot to roll him over flat on his back.***

Axis: We see Tod is bleeding from the forehead, but he could also easily have suffered a concussion or some sort of internal bleeding…

King: Or maybe he’s just DEAD!

***Frost bends down to pick the german grappler up, wanting to polish him off in grand fashion. Suddenly Tod snaps too and grabs Frost around his neck and rolls his off balanced body over and to the canvas in a small package for the pin. The crowd erupts with cheers.***

* One! *

* Two! *

***Frost’s fidgets out of the move and tosses Tod over to his back. Frost spins to his feet with renewed speed from his anger of almost getting beast so haphazardly.***

Edwin: It’s a miracle! He’s come back to life. He must be communicating with John Edwards.

***Tod rises woozily to his knees, but before he can climb up anymore, Frost rockets a knee lift into his face to send him timbering back to the mat. Frost bends over to yank Tod up by his shoulders and tosses him like a rag doll into the near corner. Frost walks in with his back to Tod and grapevines his arms around the German’s. He picks Tod up, with his feet dangling loose and spins his away across the ring like a whirling top.***

Axis: Frost makes with his patented airplane spin.

King: Which is always followed by a toss slam and a spinning legdrop.

Edwin: I’d rather have a tossed salad and a leg of lamb on a spit.

***Frost whirls into the center of the ring. He gives Tod three more revolutions as his head bobs limply back and forth. Frost stops short by planting his left leg firm and lets Tod sail off his back to careen to the far side of the ring. Frost takes a couple of measured steps forward and hops into the air with his leg out to coming crashing down on Tod’s chest. Frost rolls to his right to lay on top and grabs the near leg for the pin. Hebner stands off to the right side of the two grapplers with his arms folded across his chest and shaking his head from side to side.***

King: What the hell is that twerp doing?! He’s refusing to count!!! Edwin, fire that little rat bastard!

Edwin: Fire him for doing his job?

***Frost jumps to his feet with lightening speed and towers over Hebner with implied menace, wanting to know what is going on. Mark calmly points a finger down past the ropes to note that Tod’s leg is once again under the rope to break the cover. The fans catch on with twitters of laughter and starts chanting ‘Frosty sucks. Frosty sucks.’ Frost flies into a very uncharacteristic fit of blind rage. His face flushes a deep blood red, all of his muscles and tendons strain to the edge of popping and he goes kicking and pounding across the ring to thrash one of the far turnbuckles with stiff jabs and clubbing forearms. Anything to let the anger seethe out.***

Edwin: And he wonders why Sydney won’t go out with him from what she sees in the ring. (in a high pitched squeaky voice) “Honey, I know I said I was making steak for dinner, but I did a meatloaf instead.” (switching to a low grunt) “Ahhhhhh, woman, Frost smash.” (Edwin pounds on the commentator’s table and snorts loudly)

Axis: You know, it could be this kind of behavior that Tod deKindes was warning Frost about. He’s faced him before and knows the beast that lurks within. A beast no lady, even one as tough as Sydney Sky, would want to face.

King: There are big differences between Fraulein Sky and Herr Tod, and I don’t think Frost would act this way around Sydney.

Edwin: I can think of two big, bouncy differences right off the bat.

***Frost continues to rant and rave, almost mindless in his savagery. Tod pulls himself up by the near ropes, one half of his face soaked in blood. Frost sees his opponent back on his feet and charges across the ring like a runaway freight train. Tod dodges to his right and throws out his left foot to trip Frost up. Frost falters over it and goes flying into the ropes. His body hangs over the second rope with his arms and neck wedged firmly on the hard twine strand. Tod runs a little half circle in the ring and charges to leap down on Frost and drive his throat even further down on the rope. Tod stays on Frost’s back and chokes away on him with the rope as Hebner starts his five count.***

Axis: We have never seen anything like this before out of Tod deKindes as he blatantly throws the rules out the window.

King: He gets under Frost’s skin, Frost gets under his, it’s only fair. It’s about time that nazi punk showed a set for once!

***The referee puts a hand on Tod’s chest as he reaches five and pushes him off. Tod takes a few steps back and eyes Frost with disdain. Before the big man can get his wind back, Tod gets his body under the big man and pushes him up off the second rope and drapes him over the top one, folded in half at the stomach. Tod takes a few steps back and, with impressive ups, does a standing leap in the air to hover right above the Icelander. Tod shoots out his left leg to drop it down on Frost’s back, but he rolls to his right and takes a seat on the mat just outside the near corner as Tod crashes down to the canvas with a thud. Tod falls to his side and puts both hands on his bruised thigh.***

Axis: Tod misses the legdrop as this match can be summed up as one man constantly underestimating the other.

Edwin: Both these gentlemen are about the toughest guys we have around here and when they step in the ring there can only be on winner…YOU THE VIEWER!

***Frost reaches back to take a section of top rope in each hand and pulls himself to his feet. He lumbers over to Tod, having been calmed down from his choking experience. He sends a brutal kick into the back of Tod’s leg, just to make him cringe, and reaches down to pull the man up by his long black hair. He twists Tod around to him and tilts his face forward to look him in the eye.***

Axis: Frost is definitely yelling something at his nemesis, but our camera mics are not in range to hear it.

Edwin: Well, it’s probably something like (does low grunting voice again) “Frost smash you, smash you good, smash you like you Carrot Top. GRRRRRRRRRRR!”

King: And Tod is all like, (in high squeaky voice) “Oh, please Mr. Frost don’t hurt me, I’m just a little German punk like the guys in Kraftwerk.”

Edwin: You talking trash on Kraftwerk?

King: As Frost knows, they’re no Blue Oyster Cult.

***Tod’s eyes narrow with determination as he let’s the Icelanders oaths soak into him. He pulls back his head slightly from Frost’s grasp and hockers a thick spit into the man’s face. Frost lets go of Tod’s hair and turns to wipe his eyes as the crowd explodes with delight.***

Edwin: And that’s what Kraftwerk’s going to do to you if they ever get their hands on you…and then rape you with a caulking gun, but that’s beside the point.

***Tod rushes at Frost with a clothesline, but he pivots around with his arm out and catches Tod in the jaw with a spinning back fist before he gets to him. Tod reels to his right and Frost comes in from behind to wrap his beefy arms around Tod’s waist to German Suplex him over. Tod grabs the top rope with both hands to block the lift off the mat.***

Edwin: You can’t German the German.

***Tod leans into the ropes to flip Frost over, but can’t muster the leverage. Frost snakes his arms up to hook Tod around the neck and left armpit in the Cobra Clutch then steps his left leg around Tod’s to give him the Icelandic leg sweep into the ropes. Tod tries to fight out and his movement throws Frost off balance in the hold and the two grapplers spill through the ropes to the unforgiving floor below. Almost as soon as both their feet touch the floor, Hebner puts on the ten count.***

Axis: Both men spill to the floor! As (1) surprising as that may sound, no men has actually had a distinct advantage in this match!

King: Yeah, surprising because Frost (2) hasn't KILLED HIM DEAD yet!!

***Tod being the quicker one to his feet, he nails (3) a few solid right hands on the champion, briefly staggering him. He grabs his massive head with both hands and proceeds to slam it (4) violently right against the steel ring steps. This leaves Frost staggering about at ringside, as Tod hops on the (5) ring apron. He awaits for Frost to get in the desired position, runs and hops off (6) that very apron, nailing the Icelander with a flying dropkick. Frost hits the mat, allowing Tod to mount him and hammer him with rapidfire (7) right hands. Frost quickly shoves him off and decides to step over the guardrail.***

Edwin: Where's he going?? Has he had enough??

***Tod hops on the same railing (8) as Frost is seen backing away. Tod hops off and nails a flying clothesline, sending both men down.***

Axis: They're fighing in the crowd!!

King: Doesn't look as if they'll come back!

***Both wrestlers are now tussling amongst the people, as the (9) camera is quickly losing view of them. Meanwhile, Hebner is still in the ring, with nine fingers in the air…***

Hebner: …Ten!! Ring the bell!!

Axis: We're not gonna get a winner tonight, guys!!

Funyon: (after conferring with Hebner) Ladies and gentlemen, referee Mark Hebner has informed me that BOTH wrestlers were outside for too long, therefore, as a result of double countount, this match is a DRAW!!

***Crowd boos at the decision. Arena security quickly rushes towards the brawling duo.***

Edwin: Looks like they're gonna have to resolve this another day…

***As security tries to separate the two, we fade away into a commercial break.***

June 6, 2002

CIA is changing in the locker room, his jeans on, no shirt, preparing to go home after a hard match with Fugue. Completely by chance, everyone's favorite jobber, Cutthroat, comes into the locker room.

"(CIA) Hello Cutthroat, eh. How are you, eh?"

"(Cutthroat) I'm cool, dude, how are you?"

"(CIA) I'm fine, eh. Tough match tonight, but I aboot killed that Fugue, eh?"

"(Cutthroat) Sure did."

"(CIA) Where's Clair, eh?"

"(Cutthroat) She's..."

The TV in the corner flickers on, and on it appears a face, illuminated via flashlight from under the chin. It appears to be the hallway of Spiderman's Enchanted Palace, and it appears to be a man, longish blonde hair, blue eyes... oh shit.

"(Mike Van Siclen) In case you were wondering, Cutthroat, she's right here."

The camera zooms out to reveal Clair duct-taped to a pillar in the hallway, gagged with duct tape. Her legs are kicking valiantly to escape, but no such luck. Her eyes are filled with frenzied panic as she hopes for a savior to save her.

"(Mike) Now, Cutthroat, I know you want to rescue her. But, let's face it. You were there, I wasn't. You were booked, I wasn't."

Inside the locker room, Cutthroat mutters "No, I wasn't". Mike continues.

"(Mike) And CIA... I know you're in there. Why is it you, some no-talent rook, is booked and I'm not? And Cutthroat, a fucking crackhead loser, is booked instead of me. And I ask why. Why is Macphisto on crack? Why do the refs hate me? But they don't... they're jealous. Just like Flesher, who broke my leg for his own benefit. Just like Macphisto, who excluded me from the World contendership match so his gender-undifferentiated bitch could remain World champ. Just like the refs, who've DQed me when I didn't, said I submitted when I didn't. Well, you know what? I saw Clair walking down the hallway, and Cutthroat, I knew she was your whore. So, you know what? All this anger, inside of me, because of all the jealousy in the back?"

Mike removes his hands from behind his back, revealing a sledgehammer in his right hand. The camera shifts to Cutthroat, who charges out the locker room door...

WHAM!

One on the video, a sledge blow delivered to Clair. One in real life, a sledge blow delivered to Cutthroat.

"(Mike) It was pretaped, dumbass."

Mike brings the sledge down... WHAM! A close-up of Cutthroat's face is shown, and it appears to be lights-out for him. CIA, still watching the tape slightly, has noticed MVS' arrival, but is not doing anything about it.

"(Mike) Oh, CIA... I know you. I know your dumb-as-hell gimmick. I know you have no skills. And I know, you took up my spot. Well, this... this is for me..."

Van Siclen charges CIA, but CIA manages to sidestep Van Siclen's first charge! Angrily, Mike manages to put on the brakes, turning around and staring at CIA, eyes filled with thinly disguised rage. He stalks CIA like a bull after red... backing CIA up slowly, the sledge like a baseball bat, poised to...

WHAM!

Strike! CIA can't manage to dodge the blow, and it glances off his side. CIA clutches it, and Van Siclen takes advantage with another shot, this time to the head! CIA's body hits the floor, unconcious, and the camera pans back up to Van Siclen, who has a sick smile on his face.

"(Mike) I just took both of you out..."

He kicks CIA.

"(Mike) And on Crimson, I'll do it again..."

...fader...

June 6, 2002

Axis: Good day mates! Welcome back to SJL Metal, coming up next we have....

King: The long awaited death of XF9!

Edwin: What in the bloody hell are you blabbering about?

King: Well, I tell you what the hell I’m blabbering about. I never been a fan of your idiotic booking, until tonight.

Edwin: You mean you actually like the idea of Danny Williams in a three way match with XF9?

King: Yes! Don’t get me wrong. Upon a first glance, tonight’s main even reeked of conspiracy.

Axis: Maybe you mean “Upon a first smell”. How can a glance reek of conspiracy?

King: That’s not the point fat boy! The point is at first I thought this was some type of bull handicap match in disguise. But than I realized you had the number one contender ship on the line. Brilliant! Just Brilliant!

Edwin: How does booking XF9 in a number one contender ship match going to lead to their death.

King: Edwin you show your ignorance once again. You were probably thinking you would be able to get some time of XF9 monopoly in the Main Event scene. Wrong! In Ced’s last match against Williams he showed a much more darker side. It’s obvious the new Ced wants to win at any cost. Even if it means ending his opponent’s career.

Edwin: It was a submission match. Of course he was going to go after Williams’ bad ankle. I still don’t see how this is going to be the doom of XF9.

King: Don’t see that Ced is going to destroy anybody in his way to win. Z is technically his opponent tonight. Z is in the way, therefore he will be destroyed. Hahahahahaha.

Edwin: XF9 encourages competition, its all good fun. May the best man win.

King: You keep telling yourself that Edwin. But I say tonight is the tonight that Ced grows a brain. He realizes Z’s silly antics is holding him down, and deals with him if his dumbass gets in the way.

Axis: So are there any predictions our strategies for tonight’s main event.

Edwin: Its all about the Ced and Z connection. They will have no trouble taking out the crippled Williams. Then they will probably decide who pins him with a rousing game of Street Fighter or something.

King: Williams normally could kick both their asses at the same time. But he is to beaten up to take on two guys. Tonight, I think Ced finally takes his destiny in his own hands. He leaves nothing to chance, and takes out Z. Of course after he uses him to either wear down Williams as a human punching bag or as a temporary ally.

Edwin: You disgust me, King. I would like to take this opportunity, before the match to pimp this great Panda Porn site at www.pandafu.......

Axis: Edwin! You can do that later, right now Funyon is ready with the introductions.

Funyon: Ladies and Gentlemen it is now time for the Main Event of the evening.(loud applause) The following contest is triangle match rules and is scheduled for one fall. The winner of this contest will be declared the NUMBER ONE CONTENDER FOR THE CHAMPIONSHIP OF THE WORLD!!(crowd goes completely nuts.)

The heavy grinding grooves of Dillinger Escape Plans "Calculating Infinity" blasts over the loud speakers. The smarktron simply says Deathwish in white letters and follows that with highlights of Dannys Indie and New Japan Matches. Danny comes out on to the platform. He simply looks around, and nods his head to a respectful applause from the crowd. He slowly walks to the ring with a focused, no nonsense look on his face. He gets in the ring and just warms up.

King: Notice anything?

Axis: He isn’t limping.

King: Kind of makes you think doesn’t it. The man was in complete agony three days ago, now he’s suddenly healed.

Edwin: Don’t start this nonsense again. Williams is drug free I tell you!

King: Yeah right. Maybe he had run in with Jesus Christ in the locker room.

Edwin: Who? I don’t recall a Jesus Christ being on the payroll. Zing!

King: That sucked.

The arena lights dim slightly and "B4U" pumps up the crowd. The lights around the entranceway flash in rhythm to the bass, the crowd chants "Ced" in unison and the curtains are pulled back by the emerging Ced. He surveys the crowd and slaps the hands of fans while making his way down the ramp. When he gets about midway to the ring he stops and poses as black, blue and silver streamers are thrown from the crowd. After the streamers subside, he dashes and slides into the ring, posing once more for the crowd before warming up for the match.

Edwin: Streamers! Look streamers, its like a parade!

King: Parades suck.

Axis: The throwing of streamers are actually a common practice in pre match rituals in All Japan Wrestling.

King: Nobody cares.

The cheery pop sounds of Faith No More's 'Epic' funk over the stereo system, as the crowd electrifies with cheers! A single spotlight shines down on the ramp, as Z throws aside the curtain, shuffling his way down the ramp. Z spins on his heel, banging off a quick salute to the crowd, before rolling under the bottom rope. He paces around the ring, taking a moment to gab with a few rowdy fans, before curling up in a corner.

King: Please God, don’t let him win. If Z comes even close to winning this thing, I will jump in the ring and smash Kivell with a freaking chair. Than I will murder Williams and Ced for letting that worthless bitchboy get a shot at a World Title.

Axis: Z may have zero talent and zero athletic ability, but dammit the kid’s got heart. Z also is just plain lucky, there’s no other explanation.

Edwin: If luck be a woman, than Z is porking her brains her out.

King: What da hell does that suppose to mean?

Funyon: Introducing first, standing to my right. Weighing in at 238 pounds, he hails from Louisville, Kentucky. “Deathwish” DANNY WILLIAMSsssssssssss.

Williams raises his hands, and get a small applause.

Funyon: Standing to my left. Weighing in at 210 pounds, he hails form Sacramento, California. CED ORDONEZzzzzzzzzzz

Ced doesn’t raise his hands, and remains focused on Williams.

Funyon: And also standing to my left. Weighing in at 229 pounds, he hails from Trenton, New Jersey. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

The crowd blows the roof off the building, and starts chanting “Z! Z! Z!”

DING! DING! DING! Ced flies out of his corner, and nails Williams with a baseball slide dropkick to the ankle! Williams collapses to the mat, screaming in pain. Ced grabs Williams by his ankle and drags him to the center of the ring. Ced drops a couple of elbows on Williams’ ankle and locks on the Nagata Lock! The crowd erupts with a standing ovation. Williams waves his arms about, but the ropes are from reach. Z scratches his head, and watches on with a puzzled look on his face.

Edwin: Well, Ced doesn’t get paid by the minute. It’s look he’s gonna go for the big V, right here in the opening seconds.

Axis: Ced picking up where he left off in the submission match, with his relentless assault on Williams’ left ankle. Ced could very well get the tap out with his painful variation of the figure four called “The Nagata Lock”. I’am told the move not only puts pressure on the victims ankle, but on four other points on the leg.

King: But what is Z is doing. Is he just going to stand there and let Ced win the number one contender ship? I hope so.

Z taps Ced on the shoulder, and starts talking to him. Ced just shrugs him off, and uses all his power to keep the Nagata Lock on Williams. Z tires again to talk to Ced, but he pays no attention. Williams holds out his arm over the mat, and is ready to tap. Z stomps his feet, and grabs both of Williams’ arms. Z drags Williams and Ced to the ropes, and Kivell forces Ced to release the hold. Ced jumps up, and shouts at Z “What the hell are doing?”. Z points at himself, and than at Ced with the “Were a team” gesture. Z holds out his hand, and with hesitation Ced accepts his handshake. While Williams rolls around on the mat in agony, Z whispers a plan into Ced’s ear. A disappointed Ced shakes his head, and whispers his plan in Z’s ear. Z blankly nods his head in agreement.

Axis: It appears at Z’s request, he and Ced are going to stick together, and try to take Williams out together.

King: It looks like Ced is going to use Z, before taking him out later. Damn I wish Williams and Ced would set their differences aside, and just beat the living out of Z.

Edwin: And breakup the greatest and most exciting stable in the history of the SJL. I don’t think so.

Ced and Z drag Williams to the center of the ring by his legs. Williams screams and tries to dig his nails into the mat. Once C and Z get Williams in the center of the ring, they starts stomping away. Williams shells up the best he can, but it’s of no use. Ced quits head hunting, and starts stomping Williams’ ankle. Z stops and looks at Ced with disbelief. Ced looks up and yells “What?”, then kicks Williams right in the mouth. Z grabs Ced by the arm, and gives a compassionate un-audible speech. Ced knocks Z’s hand off his arm, and grabs him by the throat. With crazy wide eyes, Ced starts screaming at Z. Finally, Ced releases Z, and throws him to the mat. With a hurt look on his face and sad eyes, Z climbs out of the ring. The crowd starts “booing” Ced wildy.

Axis: It appears we are indeed seeing a new darker side of Ced. Rather than try to work towards a pin against Williams, Ced wanted to re-injure Williams’ bad ankle. Z wanted no part of that, and Ced has basically told him to pee off.

King: You mean piss off. And can you blame Ced for not wanting to re-injure Williams ankle. Williams didn’t have a problem throwing him off a damn turnbuckle and nearly dislocating his shoulder. Its good to see Ced finally show that good ol’ killer instinct.

Edwin: Every man has a breaking point, and its seems Ced may have reached it. This isn’t the Ced, that joined the XF9.

Ced ignores the fans taunts and goes back to work on Williams. Ced shouts profane laced taunts at Williams, as crawls around on the mat. Ced gives Williams face, insulting nudges with his boot. Williams climbs to his hands and knees, but Ced blasts him with a rolling Enzugiri! Ced rolls Williams over, and hooks his leg for the pin. Z climbs on to the apron but stops, when Ced shakes his head at him. Kivell counts.

One.....

Two....

No! Williams kicks out! Ced snaps at Kivell, and insists it was a three count. Kivell holds his ground, and Ced sarcastically nods his head at him. Ced climbs back to his feet, and waits for Williams to stagger up. Once on his feet, Williams wobbles around and appears to be out of it. Ced spits curses at him, and stars slapping him in the face. Suddenly, Williams catches his arm, twists it in a wristlock and snaps it over his shoulder for the Armbreaker! Ced’s eyes light up with pain, and he collapses to the mat.

Axis: Williams was playing possum. He baited Ced in, and got hold of the arm he worked over last week.

King: Dammit Ced! Just because your cold blooded and pissed doesn’t mean you stop being careful. Think before you act.

Williams takes position behind Ced, and waits for him to stand up. As soon as Ced reaches a vertical base, Williams snaps on the Crossface Chickenwing! Z dives into the ring, and hits Williams with a double axe handle. It has no effect, and Williams keep the hold tightly applied. Z hits Williams’ back with another axe handle, but he doesn’t even flinch. So Z drops to one knee, and gives Williams the Galatea Special! Kivell of course didn’t see a damn thing.

Axis: Z makes the save, with a questionable but effective method.

Edwin: Galatea Special! The deadliest of all the strikes.

King: Don’t give me that Galatea Special crap! It’s a punch to a balls. Its illegal and Z should be tossed from this contest. I swear all that skinny bastard does is get his ass kicked, lay around, and hit people in the balls. How can people cheer this waste of air.

Williams releases Ced, and drops to the mat. Ced scoots away, holding his arm. Z pulls Williams up with a front face lock, and sets Williams up for the Vertical Suplex. Z grabs a handful of Williams’ tights and lifts him in the air. Williams starts kicking his feet rapidly, and forces Z to set him back down. As soon as Williams plants his feet back on the mat, he grabs a handful of Z’s tights. Williams lets out roar, and hoists Z in the air for the Suplex. Williams falls to the mat, and drives Z’s head into the mat with a Sheer Drop Brainbuster!

Axis: Despite suffering a low blow, Williams simply over powers Z, and drops him right on his head with Brainbuster.

Edwin: Ouch! Williams may be one slow boring bastard, with the one of the most limited move sets in the SJL. But when he does decide to bust out a move, dear lord, he kills people. I can only hope that my eyes deceived me, and Z didn’t actually land on his head.

King: Face it Edwin, your boy is dead. Now that’s what I want to see from Williams. Drop that dough boy right on his head.

Z flops around and goes into seizures. Williams tries to cover Z for the pin, but he rolls out of the ring. Williams stands up, but a recovered Ced dropkicks his ankle. Williams leg gives out, and he collapses to mat. Ced puts Williams leg in a Spinning Toe Hold to set up the Nagata Lock! But Williams sits up, and pulls Ced into a Inside Cradle.

One....

Two.....

Ced manages roll Williams on his shoulders, reversing the Cradle.

One....

Two.....

Thre

No! Ced can’t hold the cradle. Both men jump to their feet, and Ced goes for the Ankle Dropkick. Williams swats it down, and swings a Rolling Elbow as Ced gets up. Ced ducks and gets underneath Williams, for the Backdrop Suplex! Ced lifts Williams up, but he rolls through and lands behind the Filipino grappler. Williams snaps on a back waistlock, and sends Ced flying with the Release German Suplex! Ced’s lands on this head, and rolls on to his knees. A dizzy Ced sits up on his knees, and than falls back into the ropes. Williams drags him off the ropes and covers for him for the pin.

One.....

Two.....

Three!

NO! Kivell waves the count, and points to Ced’s foot laying underneath the rope. Williams grabs the leg, and hooks it for the pin.

One....

Two.....

Thre....

NO! Ced raises his shoulder up. Williams pulls Ced up in a standing head scissors, and locks his hands around his waist for the Deathbomb. The crowd remembers Axis’s comments about the move during the MVS match, and lets out a collective gasp. Williams takes deep breaths, and gets focused like an Olympic weightlifter. Williams bends his knees and lets out a painful growl. Out of nowhere, Z dives into the ring and blasts Williams with the Arm Grenade! Williams releases Ced, and hits the mat with a hard thump. The crowd chants “Z! Z! Z!”.

Axis: Williams was looking for the rarely seen Deathbomb! But Z makes the save again.

Edwin: Without hesitation Z saves his friend. Z knows Ced was just blowing off some steam earlier in the match, and isn’t going to hold a grudge against him.

King: Z should have let Williams take out Ced with that Deathbomb, that Axis keeps having orgasms about. But Z is in idiot, and I’am glad he’s increasing his odds of losing.

While Williams struggles to get up, Z rolls Ced’s lifeless carcass out of the ring. After Z disposes of Ced’s body, he goes to pick up Williams the rest of the way up. Williams knocks Z’s hands off, and pops him with an elbow. Z freezes and than falls face first to the mat. Williams rolls Z over, and hooks his leg for the pin.

One...

Z kicks out! A furious Williams picks Z up, and sends him running into a corner with an Irishwhip. Z hits the turnbuckles hard, flips out of the ring, and smacks his face on the guardrail on the outside. Williams climbs out on to apron, and motions for Z to “turn around”. Z turns around, revealing a gash on his forehead. Williams dives off the apron, and connects with a beautiful Elbow Suicida! The force smashes Z into the guardrail, and knocks him out cold. Ced watches from around a corner, on his hands and knees.

Axis: Williams is really taking it to Z. But Ced is doing nothing, he’s just watching.

Edwin: What is he doing? Maybe he is still hurt from the Back Suplex thingy.

King: He isn’t hurt. He is playing it smart. Let Williams wear himself out on the human punching bag. Than slide in the ring and pick up the pieces.

Edwin: I know Ced wants to win this more anything. But I doubt he would sink that low, that he would let his best friend suffer at the hands of Williams, like this.

Williams lifts Z’s corpse in a Fireman’s Carry, and rolls him into the ring. Williams climbs onto the apron, and tightens his ankle brace. With grinding teeth, Williams painfully climbs to the top turnbuckle and balances himself on the top rope. Cameras flash as Williams dives off the top rope, and hits Z’s forehead with a wicked Elbow Drop! Blood droplets splatter across the mat, when Williams lands the Elbow. Williams crawls on top of Z for the pin. Ced sneaks into the ring behind Williams. Kivell counts.

One.....

Two.....

Z kicks out! Ced quickly rolls back out of the ring, drawing a chorus of “boos”. Williams pulls Z up by his tights, and locks on a back waist lock. Williams bends his knees and slams Z with a Release German Suplex! Z lands on his head, but bounces back to his feet. Z charges Williams, and swings an Arm Grenade! Williams ducks, and pushes Z into a corner. In the corner, Williams unloads a furry of elbows on Z’s forehead. Ced climbs on the apron, but doesn’t enter the ring. He has second thoughts, and pauses in a state of confusion. On the inside, Williams hammers Z with elbow after elbow. In between elbows, Z desperately screams “Ced! Ced! Where are you? Help Me!” Ced covers his ears, desperately trying to block out Z’s cry for help. The crowd begins to chant “Ced- Is- A- Pussy!”

King: You are now witnessing the death of XF9!

Edwin: The hell its is! Come on Ced! Z saved you, think about your friendship. Some things are more important than winning, dammit!

King: I’am going to pretend I didn’t hear that.

Z finally collapses in a heap in the corner. Williams looks down and notices he’s covered in Z’s blood. With a disgusted look on his face, Williams starts trying to wipe the blood of his body. While dripping pools of blood all over the mat, Z crawls towards Ced with outstretched hands. Ced shakes his head at Z, and mutters “I’am sorry!”. Z doesn’t have time to react, as Williams knees him in the face. Williams drags Z to the center of the ring, and starts clawing the gash on his forehead! Blood starts to spurt from Z’s forehead like a waterfall. Z’s high girlish screams feels the arena. Ced turns his back, and looks to sky as if to ask the creator “What should I do?” Ced spins around and lets out a unearthly battle cry! Ced charges into the ring and nails Williams with a low Yakuza Kick to the face! Spit flies out of Williams mouth, and he drops back lifelessly to the mat.

Edwin: Yes! Ced does the right thing, and saves his friend. That is exactly why he is a member of XF9.

King: Ah Dammit! I thought you had potential Ced! Friends don’t win you the World Title.

Ced prepares for another strike, but notices the blood soaked Z passed out on the mat. Ced kneels beside Z, and tries to revive him with soft slaps to the face. Z starts to show some signs of life, and Ced catches Williams getting up in the corner of his eye. Ced jumps to his feet, and meets Williams face to face. The crowd gives a standing ovation as the two exchange heated glares. Ced strikes first with a stinging knife edge chop! “Woooo!” Williams comes back with a cracking elbow to Ced’s jaw! “Ohhhhh!”Ced comes back with another chop! “Woooo!”A pissed Williams grabs Ced by his hair, and starts the Elbow Combo of Doom! Williams drills Ced with 5 straight elbows, when Ced kicks Williams in the ankle! Williams screams and releases Ced.

Axis: Ced breaks up the Elbow Combo of Doom, with a kick to the ankle! It seems when ever Ced gets in trouble, he can always get it out of it by going right back to the ankle.

Ced follows the ankle kick, with two lighting quick roundhouse kicks to Williams ribs. Williams backs up holding his ribs. Ced rolls on the mat and executes a perfect Gamengiri! Which Williams blocks! As Ced gets up, Williams spins around for the Rolling Elbow! Ced ducks, and catches Williams in a side waist lock. Ced hoists Williams up for the Backdrop Suplex, but Williams rolls through and lands behind him. Williams tries to lock on a back waist lock, but Ced spins behind him and locks on a full nelson for the Dragon Suplex! Williams powers Ced’s arms down, and cracks his temple with two back elbows. Williams spins around, and blasts the stunned Ced with the Rolling Elbow! Ced wobbles and drops to the mat like a sack of potatoes.

Axis: Williams has been trying to hit the Rolling Elbow all night long, and he finally hits it with devastating results.

Edwin: Rolling Elbow, I thought it was the Roaring Elbow.

Axis: A Rolling elbow is 180 degree spin, and a Roaring Elbow is a 360 degree spin.

Edwin: Well why don’t Williams use the Roaring Elbow. It looks a helluva lot better.

King: Because he’s more concerned about winning than looking good. No wonder you never won a World Title, Edwin.

Williams takes the chance to catch his breath, and adjust his tights. A drowsy Ced, crawls around on the mat, blindly feeling for the mat. Williams locks on a front facelock, and pulls Ced to his feet! Williams lifts Ced in the air, and plants his head into the mat with a sick Sheer Drop Brainbuster! Ced is dead, and Williams crawls on top of him for the pin.

One.....

Two......

Thre

No! Leaving a trail of blood across the ring, Z managed to crawl over and yank Williams off Ced by his foot. An annoyed Williams kicks Z off, and stands up. Williams pulls the delirious Z up with a front headlock, and lifts him for the Brainbuster! Z escapes and lands behind Williams. Williams spins around, and Z fires the Blizzard of Oz! Williams catches his boot, and waves his finger at Z. Williams spins Z around, and drills his head into the mat with a Backdrop Driver! Z goes into seizures, and Williams crawls on him for the pin.

One....

Two.....

Z kicks out! Williams rises to his knees, with a look of disbelief on his face. Williams pulls Z up by his tights, and gives him a second Backdrop Driver! Z lies completely lifeless in the mat, and Williams signals “it’s all over”. Williams crawls on top of Z, and hooks his leg for the pin.

One....

Two....

Z raises his shoulder up! Williams lets out a frustrated growl, and starts stomping away at Z’s lifeless body. Out of nowhere, Ced crawls on top of Z, trying to shield him from Williams’ stomps. Williams just shrugs his shoulders, and continues to stomp away at Ced and Z. Williams finally rolls Ced’s lifeless body of Z, and on to the apron. Williams turns his attention back to Z, who is still passed out in a pool of blood. Williams traps Z’s head in a standing head scissors, and pulls him up for a powerbomb. Z drops to his knees, but Williams pulls him up by tights. Williams takes several deep breaths, and bends his knees. Williams lets out a mighty roar, and goes for the lift. Williams strains with all his might, but for some reason he can’t lift Z up. A puzzled Williams looks down, to see Ced wrapped around Z’s legs.

Axis: Out of desperation, Ced is using what little energy he has left to hold Z’s

legs down, to save him from the Deathbomb.

Edwin: Ced doesn’t care about winning anymore. He just wants to save his friend, from Deathwish’s bloodlust.

King: Now that’s a load of bull. He just doesn’t want Williams to pin Z. This about gold, not friendship.

Williams releases Z from the standing head scissors, letting him drop face first to the mat.

Williams gives Ced a few stomps, and pulls him by his tights. Williams locks on a back waistlock, and tosses Ced with a Release German Suplex! Ced bounces off his head, and pops right back up. Ced quickly fires a Gamengiri at the surprised Williams. Ced completely misses, and remains laying on his back. Ced strains to get up, but he can’t seem to move anything below his shoulders. Williams notices Z, is staggering to his feet. Z is completely soaked in blood from head to toe. Williams confidently approaches Z, but gets caught with a right hook. Williams steps back, and notices Z can’t see. Z blindly swings away at the air, while Williams cautiously sneaks within striking distance. Williams kicks Z in the gut, and traps him in a standing head scissors. Williams swiftly bends his knees, and lifts Z up for the Deathbomb! Williams drops to one knee, driving Z’s neck and shoulders into the mat.

Edwin: Dear God! He dropped him right on his head!

Axis: THE DEATHBOMB!!!! This the first time on American soil, that Williams has used that deadly maneuver! My gosh, that was incredible.

King: Holy Crap! That move was worth the wait. I hope he broke Z’s neck.

Williams holds Z for the pin.

One....

Two.....

Suddenly! Ced dives at Williams from behind....................

THREE!

................but he is to late. DING! DING! DING!

Funyon: The winner of the match, and the NUMBER ONE CONTENDER FOR THE CHAMPIONSHIP OF THE WORLD!!!! “DEATHWISH” DANNY WILLIAMSssssssss.

Williams releases Z, and Kivell raises his hand in victory. Half the arena cheers Williams, and the other half “boos”. Williams doesn’t bother to celebrate, and just climbs out of the ring. Williams marches back to the locker room with a rare smile on his face.

Axis: Williams pulls off yet another amazing upset, and gets a deserving shot at the world title.

Edwin: Ced gave in to the dark side, and took that personal dive glory. Ced did manage to find redemption, but it was to late. The damaged had been done. Not only may it have cost him a shot at the title, it may have cost him his friendship with Z.

King: Oh your breaking my heart. Besides, your completely wrong. If Ced had would have continued to let Williams destroy Z. Than Ced could have easily took out the crippled Williams and won the match. But No! He had to sacrifice himself to save Z from further punishment. What a loser. On the other hand, Williams was the iceman and didn’t care who he hurt. It’s killer instinct that makes you champion, not compassion.

Ced drops to his knees, and buries his hands in his face. Z wakes up, and stumbles to his feet. Z wipes some bloody bangs out of his eyes, and notices Ced. Ced raises his head up, and sees Z staring back at him. Ced climbs to his feet, and starts apologizing to Z. Z doesn’t appear to buy it, but still listens to what Ced has to say. After Ced finishes explaining himself, he holds out his hand to Z for the shake. Z hesitates, and looks to the crowd for answer. A lot of people cheer, but you can still spot some guys in the audience waving their hands “No! Don’t Do It” at Z. Z slowly extends his arm, and shakes hands with Ced. The two men hug, and the crowd bursts into a “X-F-9" chant.

Axis: How about that?

Edwin: XF9 LIVES!!!

King: I think I’am going to be sick.

Suddenly Flexxx and Poisyn rush out of the locker room and down to the ring.

Edwin: What the Hell? It’s The New Sound!

King: Great, Maybe XF9 are going to get their asses whooped some more tonight!

Flexxx and Poisyn slide into the ring, and start hammering away on Z and Ced. Flexxx pairs off with Ced, and Poisyn pairs off with Z. Ced blocks a punch from Flexxx, and nails him with a Gamengiri! Flexxx goes limp and rolls out of the ring. Meanwhile, Poisyn is giving Z turnbuckle punches, as the crowd counts along “Five! Six! Seven!.....” Suddenly Z hooks his arms around Poisyn’s legs. Z slowly walks out of the corner, with Poisyn mounted on his shoulders for a Powerbomb. Ced climbs on to the tope rope, and the crowd goes crazy. With blood pouring from his head, Z screams and lifts Poisyn up for the Last Ride. Z falls backwards, and Ced jumps off the tope rope hitting Poisyn with the Silver Lining!

Axis: The Silver Corrosion! The Silver Corrosion!

Edwin: XF9 is kicking ass!

King: The New Sound couldn’t beat down XF9, after they got their asses handed to them by Danny Williams. No wonder these guys are going no where.

Edwin: Danny Williams kicked Ced and Z’s ass. He didn’t kick XF9's ass. Now that Ced and Z are united, they are unbeatable.

The crowd chants “C n Z” as their heroes celebrate in the ring. Out of nowhere, a mysterious figure in a ski mask, leather jacket, and ripped jeans climbs over the guardrail. The figure grabs a chair, and slides into the ring.

Axis: Security! Security! There’s a damn fan run in!

King: Wouldn’t it be funny if some drunken fan kicked Ced and Z’s ass.

Edwin: Well it would certainly make The New Sound look like a bunch of pansies.

The figure slides into the ring, and smashes Ced in back of the head with a chair! Z spins around, and gets clocked in the face with the chair! With both men laid out, the figure removes his ski mask........

Axis: What the Heck its!

King: Hey I know that guy!

Edwin: NOOOO! WHY, GOD, WHY?

Axis:......IT’S CHRIS WILSON!

Chris Wilson stands in the center of the ring, taking in the shocked “booos” of the crowd. Flexxx and Poisyn watch from outside the ring, with a puzzled look on their face. Chris snatches a mic from a ringside official and invites the New Sound to enter the ring. The two men cautiously enter the ring, and approach Chris. In a commanding voice, Chris speaks into the mic ”There’s going to be some changes around here.” Chris removes his jacket revealing a shirt that reads “sWo”.

Edwin: What in the bloody hell is going on here?

King: You heard the man, there’s gonna be some changes, dumbass!

Axis: Were sorry fans we are all out of the time, but don’t forget we are starting our new summer T.V. line up this week. Crimson will be on Sunday instead of Saturday. I repeat it will be on Sunday.......

(Camera fades out with a shot on Chris’s “sWo” shirt, and the date and copyright appear on the screen.)

June 6, 2002

This isn't the main event...this is my summary!...

Promo-rific promo from Flexxx and Poisyn starts our show off with a bang. Gets everyone excited for things to come.

Scott Reid and Creed no show like the bitches they are, but a new beast joins the other JL overlords in the frorm of the BUTT-Puzzler! That crazy Thoth! Oh, and we can't forget the bizarre monologue from Axis...uh...yeah...uh...what was that?

And the love affair pushes along. Doesn't Frost know that absence makes the heart grow fonder, and when you're all up their ass crack, the tend to not like you. Either way, good promo...should continue to be interesting.

Thor defeats Impact with some move...I think it was a Tombstone, but I'd have to check his stats to be sure, and I'm too tired to do that.

Ben Hardy's gonna get his ass kicked if he keeps peeping in the New Sound locker room. And who is this mystery man?

And a win for CIA...impressive, to say the least.

Another pair of no showing, cock loving bastards by the name of Josh Tupper and T-Bone. Love the cock...cherish the cock...enjoy the cock...bitches.

Rickmen's gonna hurt someone, but who is it?

Mak Francis joins New Sound...or did he? Well he sure used Poisyn and Flexxx to pick up the TV title!

Some heated words between Frost and Tod deKindes...should be a heated match up.

It seems that I botched the posts, and didn't get this match in there. It'll be up momentarily.

MVS...you crazy bastard...attacking CIA...not a good idea. THen again, maybe MVS will just bash him until he dies.

There's a new #1 contender...and it's "Deathwish" Danny Williams!! Oh, and someone new/old makes his presence felt...read to find out.

Note:I hate to break it to you guys, but I'm nearly dead to the world. I'm way too tired to make a card right now. So, I'm gonna catch a few Zzzz's and then I'll make the card bright and early tomorrow morning. You should still have plenty of time to write though. Sorry.

Da "off to catch a few" H

SJL Metal - June 5, 2002

Recommended Posts

Guest HVilleThugg

Share this post

Link to post

Share on other sites

Guest HVilleThugg

Share this post

Link to post

Share on other sites

Guest HVilleThugg

Share this post

Link to post

Share on other sites

Guest HVilleThugg

Share this post

Link to post

Share on other sites

Guest HVilleThugg

Share this post

Link to post

Share on other sites

Guest HVilleThugg

Share this post

Link to post

Share on other sites

Guest HVilleThugg

Share this post

Link to post

Share on other sites

Guest HVilleThugg

Share this post

Link to post

Share on other sites

Guest HVilleThugg

Share this post

Link to post

Share on other sites

Guest HVilleThugg

Share this post

Link to post

Share on other sites

Guest HVilleThugg

Share this post

Link to post

Share on other sites

Guest HVilleThugg

Share this post

Link to post

Share on other sites

Guest HVilleThugg

Share this post

Link to post

Share on other sites

Guest HVilleThugg

Share this post

Link to post

Share on other sites

Browse

Activity