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SWF Smarkdown 7-24-2006!

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The screen goes black, with only two words shown.

 

The Ninth

 

[Deep booming ”NFL Films” Voiceover]

 

SWF Smarkdown: Jurrasic Park: July 24th 2006

 

”Aecas had been forced to leave the SWF, cutting his run with the International title short at 43 days. This left the federation without an International Champion for the first time after the belt had been created”

 

“The void had to be filled and filled fast with someone worthy of the belt”

 

“Eight men entered, on Lockdown the number was cut in half as Zyon, Austin Sly, Manson and most significantly former champion Jay Hawke were all eliminated.

 

“Now four men all strive for the title, four men all look to become the next International champion”

 

“Akira Kaibatsu, Bruce Blank, Michael Cross, Spike Jenkins – One of these four will become the next International Champion”

 

“Tonight”

 

#Flashforward#

 

ONEEEEEEEE!!

 

 

TWOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

 

 

THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

 

“The winner of the match and NEEEEEEEEEEEEW SWF INTERNATIONAL CHAMPION. . .

 

“Whomever the champion history has proven that winning the title is sometimes easier than keeping the title, for the winner it’s only just begun”

 

Ninth SWF International Champion: “Hollywood” Spike Jenkins?? Bruce Blank?? - “Divine Wind” Akira Kaibatsu?? - “Iron” Michael Cross??

 

Time will tell...

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-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

The Smartmarks Wrestling Federation presents...
swfworldtour2.jpg
SWF Smarkdown!
Live, Monday, July 24th, from Jurassic Park!
(6pm PST, 10pm EST; check local listings)
(Send all promos/marked matches to chirs3)

DATA%20EAST%20-%20JURASSIC%20PARK%201993

-=-=-=-=-

MAIN EVENT: INTERNATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP ELIMINATION FOUR-WAY
"Hollywood" Spike Jenkins vs. "The Divine Wind" Akira Kaibatsu vs. "Iron" Mike Cross vs. Bruce Blank

-> This is the brawl to end it all. The four competitors won their respective qualifying matches, and the winner of this one walks out the International Champion! Will Spike Jenkins pay for his cockiness and suffer the finishers he subjected Amy Stephens to? Will Akira Kaibatsu harness the divine wind north of the ring? Will Iron Mike show his steel will? Will Wayne Blank somehow manage to win it all? Only time will tell.
Rules: Two men in, two men out, tag rules. Elimination style. Disqualifications and count-outs are in full effect.

-=-=-=-=-

TAG TEAM TERROR
Kerry Staunton and Scott Rageheart vs. The Axis (Trent Hawk and Ciro Vitale)

-> Staunton and Rageheart suffered a tough defeat to the Tag Team Champions about a week ago, while the Axis is still finding its niche. This one should be good, and the winners, as always, are likely to be rewarded.
Rules: Standard. Mind the tag ropes!

-=-=-=-=-

SINGLES MATCH OF APPARENT IMPORT
Grendel vs. Mike Van Siclen
Special Guest Commentators: Tom Flesher and Grendel's Mask On A Styrofoam Head

-> Grendel and Tom Flesher are on a collision course for the upcoming pay-per-view. Tom will be providing his usual level of rapier wit, while Grendel's Mask On A Styrofoam Head will be calling the action with him. Why Mike Van Siclen? Since when does MVS need an excuse to rage through the ring?
Rules: Standard.

-=-=-=-=-

OPENING BOUT
Nemesis vs. Ced Ordonez

-> After Janus knocked Nemesis' lights out in Raccoon City, he's been itching for some pay-

... what?

Oh, wrong Nemesis. This one's a newbie, it looks like. Awesome!
Rules: Standard.

-=-=-=-=-

SPECIAL ATTRACTION
An Octopus vs. A Velociraptor

-> The SWF's main attraction, An Octopus, takes on hometown hero A Velociraptor in a battle of wits!
Rules: Standard.

-=-=-=-=-

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"I'm here with Mike Van Siclen," says Ben Hardy. "And Mister Van Siclen, I understand that Wildchild has requested a match against you, a match that you've allegedly used your veto power to refuse. Can I get your comments?"

 

"Let me set the record straight, you little twerp," grumbles Van Siclen. "This is a business, and I have to protect my interests. Wildchild is still all bent out of shape over something that happened over two years ago, and I don't have time for his 'woe is me' act!"

 

"But, Mister Van Siclen," asks Hardy, "you nearly ended his career when you separated his shoulder two years ago. Don't you think that you at least owe him a match?"

 

"I don't owe him anything," insists Van Siclen. "The past is the past, and I don't have any interest in getting in the ring with somebody that holds a personal grudge from two years ago; it's unprofessional!"

 

"Unprofessional?" Ben repeats incredulously. "How is it any less unprofessional than when you put him out of wrestling for eight months?"

 

"Like I said," Van Siclen replies dismissively, "the past is the past. Everybody who gets in that ring has a reasonable expectation for his opponent to be a professional, love, hate or indifferent. And the fact of the matter is that I can't trust Wildchild to be a professional. It's obvious that he won't let the past go, and I can't afford to put my future earning potential in jeopardy by putting my career in his hands. I've got to look out for number one, so I'm not going to do it!"

 

"Is there any circumstance under which you would consider granting Wildchild a match?" asks Hardy.

 

Van Siclen smirks in response. "None as far as I'm conce..."

 

 

WHAM!

 

 

Van Siclen is interrupted in mid-sentence, as Wildchild comes running in from around the corner and tackles him to the ground! The Bahama Bomber begins hammering him with punches until Van Siclen can push him away. WC gets to his feet and grabs MVS by the back of the head, but Van Siclen stuns him with a rake of the eyes before running off in the opposite direction. Wildchild tries to give chase, but is stopped by a handful of road agents...

 

 

As we:

FADE OUT

Edited by chirs3

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The camera fades back into Jurassic Park, the various scientists and park guests cheering their lungs out as the camera pans around, revealing such signs as that depicting an image of a prehistoric pig with “JURASSIC PORK”, a girl wearing three shirts with “TRI-SARAH-TOPS” pointing at her, and one that says “IF T-REX SHOWS UP, WE RIOT,” before panning down to the announce table, occupied by none other than Mak Francis and the Suicide King!

 

“Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Smarkdown!” beams the Franchise. “I’m the Franchise, Mak Francis, joined as always by my partner the Suicide King, and what a match we have for you to open the show!”

 

“Fuckin’ A right!” screeches the Suicide King at the top of his lungs. “An Octopus is going to fuckin’ fuck A Velociraptor in the fuck!”

 

“Shit, King’s on the chronic again,” sighs Mak.

 

“Fuck!” shouts King before sprinting off into the darkness, his hands poised as a dinosaur’s.

 

“This is perfect,” groans Francis. Who’s going to be his replacement?”

 

Immediately, an SWF staff member runs up and sets up Cardboard Comet – in a cardboard neck brace of course, after taking the Riot Act from MVS, which looks more like one of those cardboard cup holders from Starbucks – at the announce table, prompting a screech of frustration from the Franchise as the lights dim and ‘Under the Sea’ hits, to a massive pop!

 

“Ladies and gentlemen,” booms Funyon, “the following contest is scheduled for one fall, and it is to be contested under Cruiserweight rules! Introducing first, from The Great Barrier Reef, Queensland, Australia, weighing in at 118 pounds…the ONLY undefeated SWF competitor…AAAAAANNN!! OOOOCCTOOOOPPUUUUSSS!!”

 

Then A Velociraptor eats him. Oh noez!

 

“Oh noez!” says Mak.

 

Cardboard Comet is silent.

 

FADE OUT

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"Do something!"

 

SWF Joseph Peters looks up at Mike Van Siclen with his most neutral facial expression. "Would you care to be more specific?"

 

"Damn it," roars Van Siclen, "about Wildchild! Do something!"

 

"What, exactly," asks Peters neutrally, " would you care for me to do?"

 

"I don't care!" snaps MVS. "Fire him, suspend him... something!"

 

"I'm afraid that I'm not going to be firing Wildchild, Michael."

 

SLAM!

 

Pencils, staplers, day planners, and all manner of office supplies go flying about as Van Siclen slams both hands onto the commissioner's desk. "Damn it, Peters, I own you; if I tell you to fire Wildchild, you'd damned well better do it!"

 

"Actually, mister Van Siclen, I don't have the authority to fire people," replies Peters. "I can merely make recommendations to the board. And, while they tend to go with my suggestions, I can assure you that there's pretty much no chance that they will agree to fire Wildchild. He makes the SWF too much money in worldwide merchandising."

 

"Oh, for god's sake!" screams Van Siclen. "Isn't there anything that I can do to get this jackass out of my life?"

 

"Well, maybe you could work with me," replies Peters. "I've got a proposition for you..."

Edited by chirs3

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"Night of Fire!"

 

The lights go out as the beat of the Niko composed theme begins to excite the crowd. Then....

 

"FIRE!"

 

*BOOM!*

 

Pillars of flames briefly light up the entrance before disappearing and revealing Ced Ordonez standing on the stage. He fires up the crowd as best as he can before jogging towards the ring. He slides in and promptly makes his way to the far turnbuckle, giving the crowd an obligatory face pose. He hops down and gets in some quick leg stretches before his opponent is introduced

 

(King) “I don’t have any details on this guy Nemesis, did you get any notes Mak?”

 

(Mak) “I heard he lost to Janus a while back”

 

(King) “Somehow I don’t think this guys is the same creature with a rocket launcher that was about to destroy the ring”

 

(King) “Hey who’s this asshole?”

 

A man comes out through the curtains, looks like he’s in his 60ties, grey hair, grey beard tweed jacket with leather patches on his elbows looking every bit the boring old professor.

 

(Mak) “Is THAT Nemesis?”

 

(King) “No way, not unless they are turning this into a retirement home”

 

(Mak) “WCW already tried that and failed”

 

(King) “ZING!!”

 

The old man walks to the ring with a dusty old book tugged under his arm, then he takes the microphone from the ring announcer to address Ced Ordonez and the crowd gathered tonight.

 

(Prof.) “I am Professor Attenborough *sigh* no not David I’m William Attenborough!”

 

The professor looks a little annoyed at having to explain that he’s not his much more famous older brother David, nor is he Richard Attenborough and he’s not totally happy with being in this place either for obvious reasons.

 

(Prof.) “But this isn’t about me, this is about you Ced Ordonez! Who do you think you are?”

 

The Cross Wizard looks a bit confused in the ring, then he points to himself and says that he’s Ced Ordonez of course

 

(Prof.) “By coming out here and thinking you are going to accomplish anything but getting your ass kicked you’re committing an act of hubris!”

 

(King) “Hubris, isn’t that a Korean car?”

 

(Mak) “I think you mean a Hyundai there King”

 

(Prof.) “And as we all know” *arrogant look at the crowd around him who probably DON’T know* “An act of Hubris can only be repaid in one way, it can only be repaid with an act of NEMESIS!!!”

 

The Professor holds up the old, dusty book and says chants something in an ancient language as the lights in the arena slowly die down (thank god that the sun has gone down or this would look stupid).

 

Then nothing.

 

And then

 

* BOOOOOOoooooommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm *

 

(Mak) “What the hell was that?”

 

The distant impact is heard or maybe more like felt in the entire arena, rattling the teeth of those closest to the entrance and sending vibrations through the chairs of those further back, which is not an altogether unpleasant sensation. The rumbling continues until a flaming inferno of green fireworks illuminate the entire arena. Once the flames die out something steps through the smoke, something huge and inhuman looking.

 

(Mak) “Hold me King!”

 

(King) “Get off me!”

 

A giant 7’4’’ tall florescent, one armed, green horned skeleton steps out of the smoke breathing smoke itself as he slowly heads to the ring with deliberate measured steps. It’s not until he passes people by that they realize that it’s not a skeleton as such but a giant of a man in a black outfit lit made fluorescent by black light.

 

In the distance thunder and lighting still rumbles as the lights slowly return to normal revealing the giant known as Nemesis.

 

(Mak) “I don’t know what’s scarier looking, the glowing skeleton or the monster in full light”

 

Ced Ordonez looks on in disbelief as the giant monster of a man walks up the ring steps and then steps over the top rope the way anyone else would step over the second rope. Ordonez may have looked confident before but when he hardly comes up to the big man’s chest cage it’s not a good sign if you’re Ced Ordonez.

 

(King) “This is our first look at this creature, this monster called Nemesis”

 

(Mak) “Makes me glad I’m retired I’ll tell you that much”

 

(King) “Amen!”

 

* DING! * DING! * DING! *

 

Nemesis just stands there in the middle of the ring, not moving an inch, no motion at all making him look more like he was carved in stone than made out of flesh and bone. Ordonez gets a bit impatient and decides that the best defense is a good offence and launches himself at his opponent with a shoulder tackle

 

NO REACTION!!

 

Nemesis just takes the shoulder tackle to the midsection and just stands there, looking down at his much smaller opponent. Ordonez then tries a couple of forearms aimed and what’s probably Nemesis’ solar plexus but once again to very little reaction from the monster

 

(King) “I think Ced Ordonez should just give up now before he gets hurt”

 

(Mak) “You won’t find a single guy in the SWF that’ll just run away without putting up a fight”

 

Being a stubborn California Ced Ordonez tries to knock Nemesis down one more time, coming off the ropes with that little bit of extra OOMPH that it gives wrestlers.

 

* BAM *

 

I believe the expression is “knocked ass over elbow”, something that Ordonez knows quite well now as he ran face first into a boot from Nemesis and got knocked “ass over elbow” from it.

 

(Mak) “So he CAN move”

 

(King) “Of course he can move, he didn’t come to the ring by using a crane”

 

Nemesis pulls on the edge of his glove before slapping his big hand on Ordonez’s forehead grabbing him with the iron claw pulling him to his feet by the claw alone. Ordonez weakly tries to knock Nemesis’ hand away but the Colossus ignores the weak punch and then lifts “The Bemani Cross Wizard” up in the air

 

BY THE CLAW ALONE!!

 

(King) “My god such power!”

 

(Mak) “EEEEP!!”

 

Nemesis slams Ced Ordonez down hard with the Claw-Slam and then pulls his opponent back up before throwing his helpless victim into the corner. Ordonez *is* a victim and not an opponent for the giant Nemesis, something he demonstrates by dropping a massive overhead chop to the top of Ordonez’s skull knocking Ordonez down into the ropes

 

(King) “He calls that the Hand of the Gods”

 

(Mak) “I can see why, one more of those and Ordonez will meet God”

 

Nemesis raises his gloved right hand once more and lets a might chop land on Ced Ordonez’s neck that sends the much smaller man crashing to the canvas.

 

(Prof.) “FOOT OF THE GODS!”

 

The Professor is directing traffic on the outside, shouting to Nemesis while holding up the ancient book and grinning like a mad man, they’ll forget all about David or Richard after tonight, at least in the SWF. As ordered so done as Nemesis puts a foot on Ordonez’s chest and steps up on it putting all of his 410 pounds of weight on the Bemani Cross Wizard causing his legs to flail in pain for a second before the Colossus steps off him

 

(Mak) “Where the hell did he find this monster? Was he bred in a lab or something?”

 

(King) “Yeah or he’s half machine right?”

 

(Mak) “Half machine? Don’t be retarded!”

 

The giant Nemesis goes over to the corner and grabs the ring pole with both hands before stepping up on the middle rope, he bounces up and down a few times to get some momentum before executing the N-Bomb by leaping up into the air while pushing himself backwards landing a big splash on Ced Ordonez before going for a cover

 

1!!

 

 

 

2!!

 

 

 

But Nemesis isn’t done yet so he pulls Ordonez’s shoulder’s off the canvas by grabbing his victim by the hair. Nemesis stands up with Ordonez looking like he’s already out cold. Nemesis just stands there and looks at Professor Attenborough waiting for instructions.

 

The professor raises the old book in the air with a grin

 

(King) “What’s next?”

 

What comes next is the Colossus Drop, which is a standing senton bomb that sees all 410 pounds of Nemesis come crashing down on Ced Ordonez’s chest

 

* THUD *

 

But Nemesis doesn’t cover even though he could probably have had a 30 count by now, instead he gets back up and looks at the Professor for guidance. The Professor still has the open book held up in the air but quickly slams it shut the second Nemesis looks at him and the grins an evil sadistic laugh.

 

(Mak) “Someone end this, please put an end to this carnage”

 

But no one seems to want to get in Nemesis way as the big man hoists Ced Ordonez up on his shoulders in a fireman’s carry position. Then he throws him up in the air like his opponent weight nothing at all flipping him into an F5 but holding on to his head driving Ced Ordonez into the canvas with a DDT

 

* BL-DAMN *

 

(King) “That’s it, stick a fork in him he’s done”

 

(Mak) “Yes please let it be done”

 

Nemesis gets up after executing the “Fall from Mount Olympus and puts a boot on Ced Ordonez’s chest as the referee does the quick three count

 

1!!

 

2!!

 

3!!

 

* DING! * DING! * DING! *

 

(Ring announcer) “The winner of the match in 2 minutes and 5 seconds, NEMESIS!!”

 

(Mak) “I haven’t seen Ordonez move since Nemesis hit that last move, have you King?”

 

(King) “No I haven’t”

 

(Mak) “This could be bad”

 

(King) “Don’t go away fans we’ll be right back with Grendel facing off against Mike Van Siclen”

 

Mak shoots the Suicide King a strange look as he goes from being worried about Ced Ordonez to shilling Smarkdown only seconds later.

 

* Commercial break *

 

¤=¤=¤=¤=¤=¤ SWF.COM “Smarkdown Unlimited Feed” ¤=¤=¤=¤=¤=¤

 

While the rest of the viewers are watching boring commercials the most hardcore and technologically advanced SWF fans are tuned in to SWF.com to see what goes on during the commercial breaks. At first they just see two Emergency Medical Technicians heading to the ring complete with a stretcher, a back board and a medical bag to attend to Ced Ordonez after his slaughter at the hands of Nemesis.

 

Professor Attenborough leads Nemesis out of the ring as the two EMTs put Ced Ordonez on the backboard and then straps him in to help him out of the ring. But the peace doesn’t last long as Nemesis suddenly turns his back on the exit and attacks the EMTs, knocking them down before they can pull Ced Ordonez onto the gurney

 

* DING!! * DING!! * DING!! * DING!! * DING!! * DING!! * DING!! * DING!! * DING!! *

 

The time keeper desperately rings the bell hoping in vain that it will stop the monster’s attack. But Nemesis doesn’t even seem to hear the bell as he grabs Ced Ordonez’s backboard and just tosses it and Ordonez along with it from the apron of the ring and into the guardrail

 

* CRASH *

 

Officials and road agents and other SWF personnel rush to the ring to try and stop Nemesis’ onslaught on Ced Ordonez, but none of them dare actually touch the big man as he grabs the gurney, raises it up in the air and then slams it down on top of the already battered Ced Ordonez. Finally we see Professor William Attenborough step in with the old book raised up in the air, that seems to get the monster’s attention and he stops his onslaught.

 

Moments later the Colossus follows a smiling Professor Attenborough out of the arena while a new set of EMTs check on the first set of EMTs as well as the unfortunate Ced Ordonez.

 

See aren’t you glad you decided to visit SWF.com? Shouldn’t you tell all your friends about it?

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“OK, so combinations of our real names don’t work. Otherwise we end up as Michael Maddix, and that just sounds like a bad fashion designer. But come on, there must be something else!”

 

Michael Stephens and Landon Maddix are discussing team names.

 

“I mean, I’m the Sensation and you’re La Cucaracha… but I don’t fancy being part of a team called ‘The Sensational Cockroaches’, so that one’s out.”

 

Well, Michael Stephens is anyway.

 

“But you’re also the Next Generation, right? How about Generation Sensation? The Sensational Generation? Er… The Next Sensation?”

 

Landon Maddix isn’t really taking part.

 

“Oh bloody hell Landon,” Stephens growls, kicking a locker, “will you give it a rest?”

 

La Cucaracha calmly removes the earplugs of his personalised Pepsi iPod (compatible with Ghost Machine versions 2.0 and up) and looks over at his tag team partner. Stephens looks frustrated, the Englishman’s temper (never that long to begin with) shortening rapidly. However, he and Landon are now able to be in the same room without attempting to kill each other, for a short time at least. That doesn’t mean they’ve been given a joint dressing room of course; even Joe Peters isn’t that stupid.

 

“Sorry, nothing I can do,” Maddix says with apparent sincerity, “Peters has already copyrighted the name Two Skinny White Guys. I’ve even heard that he’s getting merchandise done.”

 

“Oh, brilliant,” the World Champion snorts, “I can see that T-shirt shifting quickly. For God’s sake, you can’t even abbreviate it. TSWG? That has to be,” he carries on, “one of the worst names for a tag team I’ve ever-”

 

“Hi!”

 

There wasn’t a knock, because damn it, SWF staff don’t need to knock. Jet, more commonly known these days as Naomi Walters, SWF talent scout and part-time PA to Joseph Peters, pokes her head around the door.

 

“Hey up,” Stephens nods, “how’s it going?”

 

“The SWF’s copyrighted Two Skinny White Guys, right?” Landon asks excitedly. Jet looks at him and nods, bringing a cry of “told you!” from La Cucaracha, then turns her attention back to Michael Stephens.

 

“Not really a social call,” she says, checking her watch, “I just dropped in to let you know that… well, you know those promotional videos that have been going up on SWF.com?”

 

“No,” Stephens says.

 

“Nuh-uh,” Landon adds. Jet looks from one to the other, then sighs. “OK, well you’ll have to trust me on that one,” she says. “Anyway, one’s being broadcast tonight that actually gives the name of the new guy, and I thought that it was my duty to inform all active members of the SWF roster about this.”

 

“Yeah, we know about him,” Stephens says, “Nemesis, right? Some freaky tall guy-”

 

“No,” Jet interrupts him, fixing him with a stare, “someone else.”

 

“Look Naomi,” Mike grins, “it’s great that we’re getting new blood in, but I don’t even know where there’s a monitor around here and I’ve got to try and think up something that’s better than Two Skinny Freaking Whi-” he gets cut off suddenly as Jet strides into the room and advances on him, eyes blazing. Stephens backs up, startled, while Landon has put his headphones back in and is oblivious to the world again.

 

“You listen to me,” Namoi hisses, prodding her ex-boyfriend in the chest with her finger, “there is a video being shown tonight that gives the name of the latest addition to the SWF roster. As you are the SWF World Champion I would strongly suggest that you familiarise yourself with the name of this new arrival. Also, please note that I will be telling everyone on the roster about this, and am not singling you out in any way, shape or form, especially not because I may have some reason to think that you might be interested in knowing the name of the newest addition to the SWF roster as soon as possible.”

 

“…right,” Stephens says, still clearly at a loss. “So… you reckon I should see this video.”

 

Jet nods, not trusting herself to speak.

 

“In that case, I’ll see the video,” the World Champion decides. He pauses for a moment, then his eyes narrow. “And if I heard you correctly, this advice from you is coming in your role as a member of the SWF backstage staff, correct?”

 

“That’s right,” Jet confirms, “and absolutely not in any way as your ex-girlfriend with whom you are still on friendly terms, and who might have an interest in your welfare.” She nods at Landon, bobbing his head up and down with his eyes closed in some vague semblance of rhythm. “Landon there can confirm that I informed him as well, not just you. And now I’m going to inform all the rest of the roster as well.”

 

“Understood,” Mike nods, then as Jet turns to go he adds, “you, er, might want to shout it at the Blanks. Apparently Bruce ate some chilli burritos last night and they’ve had to establish a safe zone around him.”

 

Jet winces as she goes out of the door. Stephens looks around at his tag team partner, the faint scratching sound of music coming from his headphones, and shakes his head. Then picks up his trusty black holdall with the SWF World Title in it and, as quietly as he can, slips out of the door.

 

“Now,” he mutters, looking up and down the corridor, “where’s the nearest bloody monitor?”

 

“You shouldn’t be wandering around by yourself,” Landon chides, appearing at his side, “there’s dangerous creatures about!”

 

“Oh, and you’re going to scare them off?” Stephens snipes, selecting a direction at random and marching off, then trying to ignore the fact that Landon easily keeps up with him, “then again, with your music taste you probably could…”

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We cut backstage, more specifically the Jurassic Park loading bay where the SWF production trucks are parked along side the ambulance and various other trucks that are used to feed or clean up after the dinosaurs. Professor Attenborough is there with Nemesis in tow talking to some road agent [presumably a retired SWF personality who just couldn’t hack it any more]

 

The camera is zoomed in on Prof. Attenborough and the road agent, with Nemesis standing motionless behind the professor in shot from his chin on down since he’s so freaking tall

 

(Prof.) “Yeah first I was thinking that this guy could make a fortune in Hollywood, but the sideshow freaks don’t get paid well when they can have CGI instead”

 

(Road Agent) “So that’s why you came here?”

 

(Prof.) “Hey if there is one place where people still appreciate a big freak of nature it’s wrestling. It was a natural fit and well the SWF cut us a really profitable deal”

 

The road agent keeps looking up at Nemesis, sweating nervously at the mere sight of the big guy

 

(Road Agent) “Are you sure he’s under control?”

 

(Prof.) “Of course he is, the “Tome of the Gods” gives me total control of him”

 

The Professor shows the road agent the ancient book. Neither the professor nor the road agent seem to notice the EMT crew pushing the gurney with Ced Ordonez past them heading for the ambulance, they didn’t notice but Nemesis did as he turns and looks at the gurney going past them.

 

(Road Agent) “Aren’t you afraid that someone will steal it?”

 

(Prof.) “My dear boy, I’ve got an IQ of 165: Don’t you think I’m prepared for that?”

 

The Professor shows that the book is handcuffed to his wrist and thus quite securely in his possession.

 

(Road Agent) “I see”

 

(Prof.) “There’s got to be a way to make some money around here beyond what he makes from his SWF contract”

 

The Professor is a greedy bastard in case you didn’t know.

 

(Road Agent) “Well there are endorseme-“

 

But the Road Agent doesn’t go on, he notices that something is wrong or to be precise, something is missing: Nemesis!! He quickly spins around to find out where the big man has wandered off to. At first he cannot see him anywhere but when the ambulance tries to pull out of the loading bay it becomes apparent where he went.

 

¤REEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOAAAAAHHH!!!¤

 

Nemesis appears as if out of nowhere right in front of the ambulance and slams his fists against the windscreen, the second time he slams his right hand against the glass the glass shatters as Nemesis keeps howling and roaring.

 

* BANG *

 

* CRASH *

 

¤OORRRRRRRRRREEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAA!!!¤

 

* BOOM-BOOM-BOOM *

 

Nemesis keeps pounding away on the front of the ambulance, breaking headlights, denting the metal and scaring the crap out of the ambulance driver who jumps out of the car and runs away.

 

(Prof.) “NEMESIS!!”

 

At first the giant ignores Professor Attenborough and begins to rock the ambulance back and forth by pushing on the side of it, roaring like a savage beast as he tries his best to get inside the ambulance to attack Ced Ordonez once more.

 

(Prof.) “NEMESISSSSSSSSSSSS!! BY THE POWER OF ZEUS I ORDER YOU TO STOP!!”

 

The Professor roars as he holds the Tome of the Gods up in the air. That has the desired effect as Nemesis stops dead in his tracks and just looks at the book in the Professor’s hand. Then he slowly turns away from the ambulance and towards the Professor.

(Prof.) “Good lad, now you were saying something about endorsements?”

 

The Professor seems to be totally undisturbed by the fact that Nemesis beat up an Ambulance only moments ago and instead seems to want to know more about sponsorships and endorsement deal. The road agent can’t help but gulp in fear as Nemesis returns to his master’s side like an obedient dog: a 7 foot 4 inch monster of an obedient dog.

 

*Fade*

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"Y'know, this'd better be good," Landon complains as he and Michael Stephens wander the backstage area looking for a monitor (thankfully they don't have John Hammond directing them via two-way radio).

 

"Hey, don't blame me," Stephens replies. "First of all, this wasn't my idea. Secondly, I never asked you to come."

 

"So you're trailing around here simply cos you're ex said so?" Maddix asks, "Jesus man, what's that all about?"

 

"Because I think she's probably got a good reason," Stephens says with a certain lack of patience. "Anyway, if your ex asked you to do something you'd do it, because she's my sister and she'd kick your arse if you didn't. And if she didn't," he adds, "I would."

 

"You know, you're really not getting into the whole 'teamwork' vibe, are you?" Landon protests. "'Lesson One: offering your partner physical violence does not strengthen the team!'"

 

"Bite me, Landon."

 

"I'm your tag team partner, not your sexual partner," Maddix sniffs, "and you just walked past a monitor, genius. Do you want to watch this stupid video or not?"

 

Stephens sighs, but notices that his partner is correct; while arguing he did indeed walk straight past a monitor. He crosses his arms and awaits enlightenment while Landon somehow manages to find a boiled sweet from somewhere, apparently just so he can give that real cinema vibe of people making lots of noise with sugary snacks right behind you...

 

=====================================

 

 

[bLACK SCREEN]

 

"In its history, mankind has learned to fear."

 

[The screen changes to shots of war and devastation; the Second World War; the Vietnam War; the Gulf War]

 

"We have learned to fear pain.

We have learned to fear suffering.

We have learned to fear death.

But most of all, we have learned to fear the beast within."

 

[Fast-cut shots that show small details of a man: an extreme closeup of an eye; a snarling mouth; a shot from behind that shows the musculature of his back]

 

"Now things are about to change."

 

[shots of a man in a ring, illuminated somewhere in what appears to be a dark warehouse. The distance of the shots are either too great to make out details or too close to get a a full picture. What is clear, however, is the destruction being visited on an opponent or sparring partner.]

 

"It is no longer our own beast we need to fear."

 

[A grainy image is shown of a man hunched over, standing up to his full height. As he rises, the view shifts to an upward angle making the man somewhat imposing]

 

HEIGHT: 6' 4"

 

[The shot pans out and around, slowly circling the man and this makeshift ring. A shadowy outline quivers around him as the loop continues and then it all stops]

 

WEIGHT: 258 lbs

 

[A primal roar echoes throughout the dilapidated building exploding like a shockwave, seemingly even causing the ropes to shake as the voice settles in to a low growl]

 

LAST KNOWN LOCATION: ATLANTA STATE PENITENTIARY

 

[The camera loop comes to an abrupt end and now only a tight shot centered on a tattoo, a triad of sixes on the back of the man's neck, remains]

 

STATUS: RELEASED

 

[The man deliberately turns, and now for the first time his features can be seen. Two cold, hazel eyes stare into the camera, framed by black hair that's just starting to get long enough to be straggly. An amused sneer crosses his face for a second before one hand reaches out and grips the camera. The picture shakes violently, then blurs as the camera is apparently thrown into the wall. Everything goes black.]

 

GABRIEL DRAKE

 

GROUND ZERO 2006

 

FEAR THE BEAST

 

 

=================================

 

 

Backstage, Michael Stephens stares at the monitor. The colour has drained from the World Champion's face, noticeable even with his naturally pale skin. For a moment the only sound is a couple of shuddering breaths. Even the small crowd of road agents and backstage crew who came over to see what Stephens and Maddix were looking at have stopped talking; everyone's looking at the Englishman.

 

He looks shocked. And possibly scared.

 

Michael Stephens has looked many things in his SWF career. Angry, defiant, cocky, sneering, exhausted, amused, cheerful, triumphant and in some cases, downright psychopathic. Shocked has been known before, as well. Scared... well, that's kind of a new one. Every eye is on Stephens, waiting to see what he'll do next.

 

"Oh shit."

 

What he does next is turn around and leave.

 

Fast.

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FADE IN

 

Wildchild and Melissa are walking towards SWF Commissioner Joeseph Peters' office.

 

"Do you know what this is about?" asks Melissa.

 

"No," replies WC. "But he probably wants t'scold me for attacking Van Siclen earlier tonight."

 

"Do you think that he'll get Van Siclen to waive his veto?"

 

"I'm hopin'," replies the Bahama Bomber. "I really don' know if he's enough of a man t'face up t'what he did t'me, but if he is..."

 

BANG!

 

 

Fasaki shrieks as Mike Van Siclen seemingly comes out of nowhere to blast her boyfriend in the back of the head with a steel chair! She tries to cover WC to protect him, but MVS shoves her out of the way, as he waves off into the distance, signalling for someone to come over.

 

"I decided to cut a deal with Peters," MVS growls into Wildchild's ear. "I agreed to give you a match, on one condition..."

 

 

BANG!

 

 

Van Siclen pauses to deliver another vicious chairshot to WC's back. The mysterious entities that he was waving to finally arrives on the scene, revealing themselves to be Kerry Staunton and Scott Rageheart!

 

"All you've got to do to get your match," continues Van Siclen, "is beat Staunton and Rageheart at Ground Zero... in a handicap match!" With that, Van Siclen steps aside as Staunton and Rageheart pull WC to his feet and lift him up off the canvas before hitting him with a double-powerbomb! They discard WC to the floor, and Van Siclen moves in to stand over him.

 

"Oh yeah," says MVS, "there's one more catch that I forgot to tell you about: you have to win by pinfall or submission! If you don't, you're going to be suspended for fifty days... good luck, chump!"

 

Melissa scrambles over to try and revive Wildchild as MVS and StauntHeart walk off...

 

As we:

FADE OUT

Edited by chirs3

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The Pepsi Max © Tale of the Tape

 

Bruce Blank

Age: 32

Height: 6'7"

Weight: 295 lbs

Years as a Pro: 17

Signature Moves: Gorilla Press, Big Boot

Finisher(s): Blank Bomb, Broken Dream

Accomplishments: SWF Ultraviolent Champion (213 Days)

Last Five: 4 - 1

 

Akira Kaibatsu

Age: 20

Height: 6'0"

Weight: 190 lbs

Years as a Pro: 2

Signature Moves: It came from Sendai, Senton Bomb

Finisher(s): The Divine Wind, Anaconda Vice

Accomplishments: SWF Tag-Team Champions (15 Days), SWF Cruiserweight champion (59 days)

Last Five: 2 - 3

 

Michael Cross

Age: 22

Height: 6'0"

Weight: 228 lbs

Years as a Pro: 4

Signature Moves: Avalance Head Trauma, Break the Ice

Finisher(s): Iron Cross, Silent Rage Syndrome

Accomplishments: Current SWF Cruiserweight champion (43 days), SWF Tag-Team Champions (15 Days)

Last Five: 3 – 1 - 1

 

“Hollywood” Spike Jenkins

Age: 24

Height: 6'1"

Weight: 220 lbs

Years as a Pro: 6

Signature Moves: Lariat, Dangerous Wizard

Finisher(s): The Ratings Crash, Endwell

Accomplishments: 2 times SWF Tag-Team Champions (19 Days & 21 Days) SWF Hardcore Gamer’s Champion (16 days), 2 times SWF Cruiserweight champion (14 days & 120 days)

Last Five: 2 - 3

 

POWER ADVANTAGE: Bruce Blank

LEVERAGE ADVANTAGE: Bruce Blank

SPEED ADVANTAGE: Akira Kaibatsu

EXPERIENCE ADVANTAGE: Bruce Blank

TECHNICAL ADVANTAGE: Spike Jenkins

HOT/COLD: Bruce Blank (Hot)

OVERALL ADVANTAGE: Bruce Blank

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The last commercial break is out of the way, even if this match goes 45 minutes the fans will get to see every single second of it because it’s time for the main event!!

 

“Ladies and Gentlemen the following match is a four way elimination match with NO time limit and it is for the SWF International Title” Funyon says as he looks as dapper as ever in his khaki shirt & shorts and with his pith helmet at a jaunty angle. “Introducing first from Sendai, Japan “The DIVINEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE WIND” AKIRA KAIBATSU!!!!!!

 

A-KI-RA!! A-KI-RA!! A-KI-RA!!

 

Akira hasn’t even entered the makeshift arena and the crowd is already cheering for the returning Japanese superstar. The crowd rises to their feet as the metal gates open and one of the park Ranger trucks drives down the dirt road to the ringside area. The back of the pick up truck has been modified so that it looks like a miniature ring complete with turnbuckles and ropes. “Protect Ya Neck” plays from the truck’s loudspeaker system as Akira stands on the back, one hand on the ropes while looking around at the fans and the dinosaurs in the distance.

 

“AAAAAAAAAAND introducing participant number two” Funyon starts up as the first truck parks at ringside to let Akira enter the ring “From Hollywood, California here is “HOLLYWOOD” SPIKEEEEEEEEEEE JENKINS!!!”

 

The gate opens again, with another truck entering the enclosure, this time with “Hollywood” Spike Jenkins standing inside the mini ring with his hands raised in the “Straight Edge” X pose as the truck heads to the ring.

 

“Like Bringing A Knife To A Gun Fight…

 

 

LIKE BRINGING A KNIFE TO A GUN FIGHT!”

 

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

 

“You know I’ve often wondered about this, is Spike the guy bringing the knife or is he the one bringing the gun” Mak muses.

 

“As long as he leaves with the International title I’m sure he doesn’t care what he brings to the fight” King says as he tries his best to just filter out his co-commentator’s inane babbling while watching Spike enter the ring.

 

“Introducing participant number threeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!! Accompanied to the ring by his brother Wayne, this is the “Redneck Superman” BRUCEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE BLANK!!!!” Funyon announces as the gates open once more to allow another truck into the arena.

 

The car drives down the dirt road towards the ring with Bruce standing tall, holding his balance by grabbing the ropes while Wayne staggers back and forth behind him trying his best to stay on his feet.

 

“Finally introducing the fourth and final contestant, the SWF World Cruiserweight champion “IRON” MICHAEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEL CROSS!!” Funyon says before the boos drown him out.

 

The last truck appears but unlike everyone else Cross isn’t standing in the back of the Pick-up but has opted to sit on the top of the cab instead with his feet planted on the hood partially obstructing the driver’s view. The champion sits there, looking down, hood up to cover his facial expression as he’s taken towards the ring, taken towards his golden opportunity.

 

“Can you feel it King? It’s in the air!!” Mak says excitedly as the last of the trucks pulls up to ringside to let the Cruiserweight champion enter the ring.

 

“You mean the smell of Dinosaur dung?” King replies.

 

“Damn it King no!” Mak gets a bit annoyed “it’s opportunity! It’s the chance for one of these guys to rise to the top, to grasp the golden ring and win it all”

 

“Holy Hokey Cliché Machine Batman! Yeah it’s a big night, none of these guys have ever held of this level before but man cut back on the corny will ya?”

 

Once the car comes to a full stop Cross stands up and steps off the hood and onto the ring apron. There he unzips his hoodie shirt and points to his belt while making the “2” sign with his other hand reminding the other three and everyone at home that he will be walking out of here with two belts tonight. After removing his hoodie and handing the belt to a ringside attendant Cross walks down the apron. . . and down the steps to the floor.

 

“What?”

 

Wayne yells something to Bruce but the big man is too slow to react and moments later he finds himself alone in the ring as the bell rings.

 

*DING!*DING!*DING!!*

 

When Bruce turns around and notices that Spike and Akira have quickly left the ring as well he both surprised and pissed off complaining loudly to referee Nick Soapdish. Both Cross and Spike seem to be enjoying the show as Bruce gets more and more flustered over what the referee tells him.

 

“You’re the legal man Bruce!” Soapdish explains “That means you can only leave this ring if you tag out or if you’re eliminated”

 

It’s obvious that Bruce had hoped to just stay on the outside of the ring for as long as possible from the way he’s complaining and annoyed by the antics of the other three participants. His mood doesn’t exactly lighten up as Akira Kaibatsu decides to return to the ring leaving both Cross and Spike out of it for now.

 

And that suits them just fine.

 

“He got outsmarted, Bruce’s well laid plan just got blown apart” Mak says without hiding his Schadenfreude.

 

“How do you know that was his plan? Maybe he plans on eliminating all 3 of them?” King says trying his best to make Bruce look good, as impossible as that is.

 

“Yeah I don’t think so King, I’m sure Bruce would have loved to just wait around out of the ring until one or even two of the others have been eliminated”

 

Akira and Bruce are definitely no strangers to each other, having faced off many times in the past although never for as rich a prize as tonight. For now neither of them seem to be thinking of the gold, instead they are thinking about kicking each other’s asses. Akira takes the first shot as he goes straight for Bruce instead of the usual duck and escape tactics that most Cruiserweights take with Bruce and the surprise element is enough to rattle Bruce. Demonstrating that he’s not lost a step because of the injury Akira comes bouncing off the ropes and strikes Bruce in the chest with a spin kick that has enough force behind it to actually take the big man off his feet early in the contest.

 

A-KI-RA!! A-KI-RA!! A-KI-RA!!

 

“This is such a contrast to last week against Zyon, he’s managed to take the big man down early which is the best way to beat him” Says the King

 

“Bruce got thrown off his game plan, he’s not the kind of guy to quickly formulate a new one, it takes time and Akira is using this time to his advantage” Mak points out.

 

After having faced Bruce so many times the Divine Wind knows that the best tactic is to stay away from Bruce’s hands and arms so that he can’t trap up and then just stick and move, stick and move. A springboard drop kick for instance is a great way to stick and move on Bruce as he demonstrates as he pulls one out of his bag KENTA~! Style

 

YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!

 

The kick knocks Bruce ass over elbow so that he ends up face down on the canvas in the middle of the ring. Akira turns around and almost tags Michael Cross in on instinct but when he realizes who is in the corner he puts on the brakes and then says something in Japanese to his former tag-team partner, something that seems to piss Cross off no end. When the Divine Wind turns around he notices that Bruce has gotten back to his feet and is heading towards Spike with his hand held out looking for a tag, only Spike doesn’t look like he’s in a big hurry to tag in as he casually strolls down the apron a bit out of Bruce’s reach.

 

“HA! Excellent strategy Spike” it comes from King as he gives Spike his seal of approval.

 

At least Akira is more eager to fight Bruce than Spike as he rushes the big man, leaps up and nails him in the back of the head with a high knee that sends Bruce face first into the turnbuckles. With Bruce down and hurting Spike eagerly tags himself in and begins to climb the ropes.

 

“So when Bruce is in trouble Spike has no problems tagging in?”

 

“That’s a thinking man’s wrestler right there Mak, why use your brawn when you can use your brain?”

 

Spike leaps off the top rope, pulling both legs up under him as he descends on the still bent over Bruce, not extending his legs until they can make contact with the big man’s back in a spectacularly painful way.

 

*BLAM!!*

 

The double stomp drives Bruce into the canvas with Spike Jenkins landing right on top of him. Hollywood grabs Bruce by the shirt and the pulls with all the power he’s got trying to turn Bruce over onto his back but having a hard time with the dead weight. Being an impatient man Spike decides to forgo the pinfall attempt and instead runs at the ropes to build up enough steam for a running boot scrape.

 

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

 

Spike can’t help but smirk at the crowd reaction and can’t resist pissing them off even more by giving them the middle finger before tagging in Cross. Spike holds onto Bruce’s legs so that the King of Pain can’t move out of the way as Michael Cross climbs the ropes. The plan works like a charm as Cross lands a flying leg drop right across Bruce’s throat and then goes for a cover as Spike steps through the ropes once more.

 

ONEE!!

 

 

 

 

TWOOO!!!

 

 

 

FOOT ON THE ROPES!

 

Spike curses himself that he left Bruce’s legs too close to the rope allowing him to escape elimination. “Iron” Mike doesn’t look too bothered by the save, it’s early in the match and he has plenty of tricks up his sleeve.

 

And a fist upside his head!!

 

Bruce’s right fist finds the spot but it takes more than one punch to stop Michael Cross which is clearly demonstrated when the Cruiserweight champion retaliates with a stomp right to Bruce’s forehead followed by a second and then a third boot to Bruce’s noggin’

 

“Come on hit something vital instead!” Mak yells out.

 

“You trying to imply that Bruce is stupid?”

 

“No I’m saying it outright”

 

Wayne looks completely distraught by the beating Bruce is taking but is too afraid to get close his brother as Spike is guarding that side of the ring and probably wouldn’t hesitate to attack him. So Wayne keeps his distance, even when Michael drapes his big brother over the middle rope and puts a knee in Bruce’s back to choke the life out of him.

 

ONE!!

 

Nick Soapdish immediately starts to count

 

TWO!!

 

And Michael Cross immediately starts to ignore that same count

 

THREE!!

 

FOUR!!

 

At four Cross finally listens to the referee and breaks the chokehold on the Redneck Superman, then he casually extends his arm and lets Spike Jenkins tag himself back in the match. Spike leaps over the top rope, runs across the ring and then lands with all of his 220 pounds on the back of Bruce Blank as he’s still draped over the middle rope.

 

“Shades of the Big Boss Man!!”

 

“Yeah if you add 150 pounds Mak”

 

Spike turns to Cross with a sadistic grin offering his partner in crime a high five. A offer that Cross responds to in true “Iron” Mike fashion

 

YAKUZA KICK~!! *POW!!*

 

YOU SUCK!! YOU SUCK!! YOU SUCK!!

 

Spike is taken totally by surprise by the underhanded attack and takes the boot square on the draw dropping like a ton of bricks. Cross just shrugs his shoulders like “hey it’s not like I ever liked you” and then steps out on the apron.

 

“You’d think that Spike of all people knew the philosophy of DTA” King says

 

“I doubt he trusted him King, but he probably figured that they were on the same page for now”

 

“From the looks of it they’re not even in the same book”

 

With everyone focusing on what went down between Spike Jenkins and Michael Cross it’s a bit of a surprise when Bruce reaches over and tags in Akira Kaibatsu, it’s even a surprise to Akira who had his side turned to Bruce staring a hole through his former tag-team partner across the ring from him.

 

YEAAAAAAA-KI-RA!! A-KI-RA!! A-KI-RA!!

 

“Bruce just saved his bacon, he would have been on his way to an elimination if the others had kept the attack up.”

 

“Yeah but the other three aren’t really going to get along well are they Mak? Cross and Akira would rather hurt each other than anyone else, Spike doesn’t get along with ANYONE!” King replies.

 

The two former tag-team partners lock up in a collar and elbow tie up, only for Spike to jam a thumb into Akira’s eye giving the Hollywood superstar the instant advantage. A couple of open handed Shotei thrusts to the face drives Akira back in the corner as Spike pushes his advantage with everything he’s got.

 

Spike Jenkins looks at Michael Cross almost as if to tell him to “watch this you bastard” before he takes a running start at Akira, leaping into the air for a Yakuza kick designed to show the Cruiserweight champion how a real Yakuza kick is performed.

 

*BAM!!*

 

But Akira is no longer in the corner so Spike ends up kicking the turnbuckle instead which does Spike more harm than good. Akira swiftly jumps up on the ropes looking to strike quickly only to find himself thrown off balance as Michael Cross shakes the top rope with everything he’s got. The motion of the ropes is enough to throw Akira so much off balance that he leaps down to the canvas again. With Akira’s attention distracted Spike decides to throw caution to the wind and just go for it with a lariat. The Divine Wind must have been paying more attention than Spike thought as he ducks under the Lariat attempt from Spike, he also ducks under the back elbow attempt that Spikes follows up with. As swiftly as his namesake Akira grabs Spike around the head in a 3/4 headlock and then runs up the turnbuckles before Spike has a chance to catch on to what’s going on

 

*BAM!!*

 

“DIVINE WIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIND!!” Mak yells out as Akira drives the back of Spike’s head into the canvas.

 

Referee Nick Soapdish doesn’t count though, instead he informs Akira that he’s no longer the legal man in the ring, something that both baffles and confuses the man from the Orient.

 

+=+=+=+=+=+ Instant replay +=+=+=+=+=+

 

Akira runs up the turnbuckles as he begins to execute the Divine Wind, he is so into what he’s doing that he doesn’t even notice that Bruce slaps him on the boot right before he flips over Spike’s head and drops him to the canvas.

 

+=+=+=+=+=+ End Instant replay +=+=+=+=+=+

 

“HA! HA! Akira is not the legal man in the ring, he doesn’t want to cheat now does he?” King says as Akira starts to argue in Japanese with both the referee and Bruce who’s dismissing Akira.

 

“This is just descending into chaos!” Mak complains as Michael Cross decides to join in as well, stepping through the ropes behind Soapdish’s back.

 

The crowd boos madly as Michael Cross picks up Spike and then locks on a standing Dragon Sleeper to his helpless opponent. Nick Soapdish is too busy with trying to keep Akira and Blank separated and fails to notice Cross lifting Jenkins up in the air before twisting him into a cutter move

 

*BLAM!!*

 

“SILENT RAAAAAAAAAAGE SYNDROMEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!” King yells out mocking Mak’s earlier excitement over Akira’s finisher.

 

“I hate you”

 

The impact doesn’t go unnoticed by Soapdish who turns around and starts to yell at Cross about the number of rules he’s breaking right now. The Cruiserweight champion seems totally unaffected by it though and just smirks as he heads back to his corner.

 

The smirk is wiped off his face 2 seconds later as Kaibatsu breaks away from the argument with Bruce, races across the ring and then knocks both himself and Michael Cross over the top rope and to the floor with a super stiff clothesline.

 

YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!

 

Bruce mutters something along the lines of “about time” before he grabs the unconscious Spike by the hair. After having suffered both the Divine Wind and the Silent Rage Syndrome Spike isn’t even able to stand on his feet on his own. Half the crowd is distracted with Akira and Cross fighting on the floor but Bruce soon draws their attention back to him as he picks up Spike Jenkins and places him over his shoulder.

 

“Oh no” Mak utters as Bruce gets ready for the running Tombstone

 

“Maybe that’ll teach him to not steal someone’s finisher” King says curtly as Bruce runs across the ring, leaps forward and then drives the top of Spike’s skull into the canvas

 

*CRACK!!*

 

The cover at this point is merely a formality but Bruce covers his opponent none the less making sure that he puts an elbow in Spike’s face in the process

 

ONEE!!

 

 

 

 

TWOOO!!!

 

 

 

 

 

THREEEEE!!!!

 

“Ladies and Gentlemen Spike Jenkins has been eliminated!” Funyon announces signalling the end of Hollywood’s golden dreams.

 

Neither Cross nor Kaibatsu seem to have noticed that they’re now a man short as the two of them are embroiled in a war on the floor, exchanging right hands while rolling around on the floor engaged in a brawl that’s more at home in a bar late at night than in a wrestling match. Bruce doesn’t seem to care that the two of them are tearing each other apart outside the ring, he just leans back against the ropes and grins while discussing some sort of strategy with his brother.

 

“We’re down to three and with each moment that passes Bruce becomes the odds on favourite to take it” King says with confidence.

 

“No he doesn’t!! The longer it goes the less likely it is that he’ll have the stamina to last” Mak counters noting Bruce’s mediocre cardio-vascular conditioning.

 

“If these two guys keep beating the snot out of each other he will be! Every moment they fight on the floor is a moment where Bruce can just sit back and watch them beat each other up” King explains since Mak doesn’t seem to get it.

 

Nick Soapdish isn’t sure what to do here, technically either Cross or Kaibatsu should get in the ring and fight Bruce but since he doesn’t know which of them is the legal man he’s not really ready to count them out. Akira back elbows Cross right in the nose and then gets up on the apron, either to enter the ring or to leap at Michael Cross

 

We’ll never know which it was though as Cross still has enough wits about him to close the gap between them and swiftly elbows Akira right in the riceballs.

 

“SON OF A BI. . . “Mak yells out catching himself mid “itch”

 

Akira almost falls off the apron but manages to hold on to the ropes and stays up there. With Akira subdued for the moment Michael Cross slides under the bottom rope into the ring heading straight for Bruce.

 

“Ah well, break time is over” King says with a shrug “It couldn’t last forever I guess”

 

Blank and Cross circle each other like a couple of feral cats about to attack each other. Cross looks ready to fight while Bruce just grins, then reaches backwards and tags the still hurting Akira much to the surprise of both Akira and Michael Cross. Bruce pushes down the top rope and steps over it, leaving the ring while casually whistling and looking quite pleased with himself. Akira on the other hand is still dazed from the nut shot and hasn’t entered the ring yet, a condition that Michael Cross soon rectifies by reaching over the top rope and hooking his opponent’s head with a headlock.

 

“What in the world?” Mak asks as Cross begins to pull Akira into the ring, forcing the Divine Wind over the top rope while still locked in the headlock.

 

“Your guess is as good as mine Mak” King admits.

 

Cross keeps the headlock firmly clamped on as he pulls forward on Akira managing to drag him up over the top rope and into the ring with only his feet holding him up. Soapdish starts a count as Akira’s feet are in the ropes and Cross is technically breaking the hold. Soapdish doesn’t even get to two though before Cross raises both hands in the air to give Akira a clean break

 

*BONK!*

 

And to drop him face first to the canvas from the height of the top rope where he’d held him until now.

 

“Genius!”

 

To add even more injury to injury Cross follows up by dropping an elbow straight to the back of Akira only moments after Akira hit the canvas. The boos that Cross received early in the match more than double in intensity as “Iron” Mike drives his knees into the side of Akira’s head, alternating between left and right as he drives the Divine Wind backwards into a sitting position in the corner. Cross ignores the count at first as he keeps working over Akira’s neck but does break at 4 and takes a few steps back to keep himself from being disqualified.

 

“I thought for a moment he was going to let his anger get the best of him” King says noting that Cross’ intensity is ten fold when he’s in there with Akira instead of either Spike or Bruce.

 

“Oh come on he’s already got plenty of advantages in the ring” Mak complains as Bruce rushes over and grabs Akira by the back of the tights to hold him in place as Cross gets ready to attack his opponent in the corner.

 

“Man you are such a goody two-shoes, I remember there was a time where you’d be breaking rules with the best of them”

 

Cross gets a head of steam and leaps into the corner for a splash. Akira manages to slip out of Bruce’s hold and drop down to the canvas while Michael flies over him, strikes the top turnbuckle with his mid section and knocks Bruce off the apron in the process

 

INTO THE GUARDRAIL!!

 

*CRASH!!*

 

After hitting the turnbuckles Cross drops to his knees holding his gut trying to regain his breath. Behind Cross’ back Akira is dragging himself back to his feet while holding his neck, his now unmasked face a picture of agony and anger.

 

A-KI-RA!! A-KI-RA!! A-KI-RA!!

 

“This kid is amazing King, he’s clearly in pain but he’s not about to let that stop him from getting his hands on Michael Cross, the man that injured him at 13th Hour” Mak says.

 

“Well his hips don’t lie”

 

“No that’s SHAkira King” Mak points out once he realizes what the hell King is on about.

 

Akira’s first offensive move is a knee driven into Michaels’ back, striking the Cruiserweight champion right between the shoulder blades, then Cross is pulled back up by his hair only to be taken off his feet once more by one of the stiffest European uppercuts ever seen from Akira Kaibatsu. From there on the match loses any semblance of a Cruiserweight contest or even a regular wrestling match and turns into a streetfight as Akira leaps onto his opponent without caring that he’s probably hurting his neck in the process as long as he can inflict pain on Michael Cross

 

“It’s hard to believe that these two – WHOA!” King’s train of thought is derailed as Akira lands a sickly stiff punch to Cross’ face, busting his nose.

 

“A lot of bad blood between these two guys, I mean they were like brothers at one point” Mak says as Michael Cross tries to push Akira off by jamming a finger in his eye.

 

“They still look like brothers to me” King adds giving us a disturbing insight into the King’s family life.

 

While Akira and Cross are intent on tearing each other apart Bruce is still on the floor, out cold from hitting the guardrail but no one really seems to pay much attention to that right now. When the two Ex Asian Underground’ers roll into the ropes Soapdish tries to separate them without much success. It’s not until he physically grabs Akira by the legs and drags him off Cross that he gets some sort of order restored in the match

 

For about 3 seconds

 

3 seconds is exactly the time it takes a bloodied Michael Cross to leap from where he’s crouched towards Akira, elbowing the Divine Wind square in the testicles. An enraged Michael Cross gets back to his feet and then looks around with his hand raised looking to let Bruce do some of the dirty work.

 

“Where is Bruce?” Mak asks not realizing that he’s actually on the floor more or less right in front of them.

 

“Erm Mak, he’s still on the floor – he hasn’t moved since he hit the guardrail” King says.

 

“Soapdish can’t even count him out, he’s not the legal man!”

 

When he realizes that there is no one to tag Cross quickly turns his attention back towards Akira only to eat a boot for his troubles as Akira lays out Michael Cross with a superkick before the Divine Wind drops to his knees once more, clutching his neck in agony.

 

“Hey what the hell?!” Mak says as he notices movement in front of the announcers’ table.

 

Bruce has raised his head and is trying to keep an eye on what’s going on in the ring, then when he hears Mak yell out he quickly lies back down and goes back to pretending to still be out cold.

 

“THAT SON OF A BITCH!” Mak sputters as he realizes that Bruce is playing possum “He just wants these two guys to kill each other and then he can come in and take care of whomever is left.”

 

“You say that like it’s a bad strategy Mak, it’s a GREAT strategy – besides Akira and Cross need to fight this out to get “closure” and all” King says while making quotation marks gestures.

 

“He’s got Cross on the ropes, literally!” Mak quips as Cross uses the ropes to drag himself back to his feet after the super kick.

 

“Déjà vu!” King yells out as Akira runs at Michael Cross looking to clothesline both of them over the top rope once again.

 

Cross is ready for it though, having felt it once he’s prepared for it this time and deftly ducks under the clothesline by falling to the canvas and letting Akira flip over the top rope by himself. The surprise of Cross dropping out of his path causes Akira to hit the ropes at an awkward angle and traps the Divine Wind’s head between the top and the middle rope as he goes over the top and ends up stuck in the ropes.

 

“HOOOOOOOOLY SHIT!” Mak yells out, not knowing how else to describe the dire situation that Akira is in right now.

 

Michael Cross quickly gets to his feet and then starts to argue with the referee, yelling at him and generally trying to do his best to distract him the fact that Akira is stuck in the ropes. He also distract the referee from the fact that Bruce has given up on his “I’m unconscious” charade, gotten up on the apron and is now ADDING to the pressure on Akira’s neck by pushing down on the ropes to make them even tighter. After a moment or two of listening to Cross complain Nick Soapdish catches a glimpse of what Bruce is doing and turns around to admonish him, but he doesn’t have to as Bruce voluntarily releases his hold on the ropes and jumps back to the floor.

 

“See now THAT is a fair man” King says with a grin

 

“Fair? FAIR??” Is all Mak can say in his righteous indignation.

 

“I’m glad we agree”

 

Nick Soapdish rushes over and manages to help Akira slide his head back out of the vice created by the two ring ropes. The Divine Wind sinks down to his knees, leaning on the middle rope as he holds his neck in agony. Suddenly Wayne Blank gets up on the apron and actually takes a swing at Michael Cross, a swing that “Iron” Mike easily ducks and then tries to retaliate.

 

“What the HELL is Wayne’s problem?”

 

Soapdish rushes over to try and separate Cross and the younger Blank brother, even threatening to throw Wayne out of the arena. With the others pre-occupied Bruce has free reign on the floor, a reign he takes full advantage off by pushing the time keeper out of his chair so that Bruce can use it as a weapon. He folds it up and then swings it overhead and brings it down

 

*CRACK!*

 

Right across Akira’s neck and back.

 

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

 

Both Wayne and Cross have seen the chairshot while Soapdish turns around just a split second too late to see it. Wayne immediately leaps off the apron and backs away from the ring while grinning from ear to ear like a racoon that just found a tasty garbage can. Michael doesn’t waste any time at all before locking on a front headlock, then he twists it around so that Akira’s head is draped over his shoulder in a neckbreaker position.

 

“This is bad! This is really, really bad” Mak frets “Akira has barely returned from his neck injury at the hands of Michael Cross and now. . . and now” but Mak can’t go on.

 

“And now he’s up shit creek” King finishes having no qualms about the situation.

 

Michael Cross holds on to Akira’s head and then drops to his knees

 

*THUD!*

 

The Cruiserweight champion maintains his hold on Akira’s head causing the Divine Wind to bend over backwards straddling Cross’ shoulder with his neck in a very painful looking position. Cross adds to the pain by pulling down hard on Akira’s chin. After holding his former partner in that position for 15 seconds or so Cross gets back to his feet, fingers still locked around Akira’s jaw and then he bends forward, pulling on Akira

 

LIFTING THE DIVINE WIND OFF THE GROUND BY THE HEAD!!

 

“Yes!! Now that’s smart wrestling by Cross, he knows Akira is hurting, he knows his neck was weak coming into the match and he knows that Bruce just made it worse with a steel chair” Says King as the crowd mercilessly boos the Cruiserweight champion

 

“Oh and look at that bastard!” Mak spits out as Bruce begins to applaud Cross’ actions in the ring.

 

The referee raises Akira’s hand in the air and then releases it, not surprisingly it drops down as Akira appears to be unconscious. Soapdish checks on Akira’s eyes and then quickly calls for the bell without even lifting the arm again.

 

* DING!*DING!*DING!*DING!*

 

When he hears the bell Cross lets go of Akira, allowing the Japanese superstar to drop to the canvas where he flops over and lays there unconscious.

 

“Ladies and gentlemen referee Nick Soapdish has used his discretion and is declaring that Akira Kaibatsu is in no physical condition to continue” Funyon explains to the crowd, an explanation that doesn’t go over very well.

 

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

 

Correction it doesn’t go over very well with the crowd but both Cross and Blank seem to be very pleased with the decision, after all it means that there is just one man standing between either of them and the International title. Bruce barely has time to step through the ropes before Iron Mike is on the attack once more, leaping at the big man to take him down and take him down fast. But the best laid plans sometimes backfires, and frankly jumping on Bruce is hardly one of the best laid plans ever devised. Bruce manages to stay upright as he catches Michael Cross in mid air, then the big man drops backwards driving Cross chest and face first into the turnbuckles.

 

“Staggering!” King quips as Michael Cross staggers out from the corner after being thrown into the turnbuckles.

 

“He must really be desperate King, I can count the number of times Bruce has climbed the ropes on one hand” Mak says as Bruce climbs up on the second rope while keeping an eye on Cross.

 

“Yeah and still have fingers left!”

 

Bruce folds his hands over his head and then leaps off the second rope in a very poor imitation of Randy Savage’s double axe handle. . . especially since this one totally misses and Bruce twists his leg on the landing.

 

*BA-SNAP!*

 

The big man immediately collapses on the canvas, clutching his right leg as he screams out in agony from landing on it wrong. Cross holds back a bit, weary of the situation and everything as Nick Soapdish tries to find out exactly how bad Bruce is hurt. Wayne slides his upper body under the bottom rope as he worriedly tries to get his brother to calm down so they can figure out how bad it is.

 

“That’s why he never goes to the top rope, he’s just not built for it and it backfired” Mak says in a solemn sounding voice.

 

“A desperation move that may have cost him the match and the title”

 

Cross looks angry and impatient that the match has been interrupted when he’s so close to winning the International title, so he decides to take matters into his own hands by kicking Wayne out of the ring with a well placed boot to the head before reaching down to grab Bruce by the shirt to drag him into a better position.

 

A flash of hands and legs and Michael Cross is tied up in a small package with Bruce on top of him using all of his arm and leg strength to keep Cross under control.

 

ONEE!!!

 

 

 

WHITEEEEEEEEEEE TRASH!! WHITEEEEEEEEEEE TRASH!!

 

 

 

 

TWOOOO!!!!

 

 

 

Cross’ legs flail like a madman’s as he tries to break free from Bruce’s vice like grip.

 

 

 

THREEEEE!!!!!

 

“HOLY FUCKING SHIT BRUCE STOLE IT!!” King yells out as Nick Soapdish’s hand hits the canvas a split second before a surprised Michael Cross can kick out.

 

Cross kicked out just a second too late and the shock is clearly seen on his face as he sits there on the canvas, mouth open, big eyes looking totally stunned that he was suckered in by Bruce. While Cross is in chock Bruce is on cloud nine, celebrating with his brother who has handed Bruce the International title belt before the announcement is even made.

 

“The survivor of this match and the NINTH SWF INTERNATIONAL CHAMPION” Funyon says and then draws a breath to let it sink in with him as well before making it official “BRUCE BLAAAAAAAAAANK!!”

 

“I don’t believe it, Bruce outsmarted someone?” Mak says still in a state of shock

 

“He’s NOT as stupid as he looks Mak”

 

“No he couldn’t really be now could he?”

 

Michael Cross isn’t ready to accept the outcome of the match just yet, he didn’t come all this way, earn his way into the match and eliminate Akira just to fall short to Bruce. Cross leaps to his feet and then runs straight for Bruce who has his back turned to him. Wayne yells out, alerting his brother to what is coming, allowing him enough of a warning to duck under Michael Cross’ attack and then clothesline the Cruiserweight champion over the top rope unceremoniously dumping him to the floor.

 

The last image on Smarkdown is of the ninth SWF International Champion Bruce Blank holding the belt up high in the air.

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