SWF Smarkdown KommentZ

[chirs3 0]

Promos and hopefully a match to still be edited in.

 

Big developments in the Two Skinny White Guys saga!

 

Our nooblet shows for his first match, and it's a very good showing indeed! Oh happy days are here again!

 

Working on the PPV card as we speak.

[HollywoodSpikeJenkins 0]

I no-showed because I was involved in an orgy and was drunk most of the weekend.

 

 

 

I think it's a fair trade-off.

[chirs3 0]

Three missing promos editedededededededed in.

[Mr. S£im Citrus 0]

Uhm... you posted the third one twice, and the first one not at all...

[chirs3 0]

I did?

 

... oops.

[Bruce Blank 0]

HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLY - that's all I can say, more comments when I can wrap my brain around it.

 

and from the sound of it Spike discovered the joys of WoW?

[Bruce Blank 0]

Alright now that I’ve done my victory lap let’s get down to showtime!

 

The Wildchild / Mike Van Siclen story – good stuff with WC showing a more brutal side than I’ve ever seen, prelude to a heel turn or maybe it’s just a case of “Wildchild loathes Mike Van Siclen”

 

Are we supposed to know exactly why WC has such a distaste for MVS? Or is that part of the story? Either way keep them coming, it’s good to see some stories built (too few and too far apart these days)

 

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An Octopus got eaten??

 

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

 

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Nemesis debut and he’s a hoss and a half, or maybe he ate a hoss on the way to the ring because that dude is HUGE. Even with the slightly different format it still worked and the big guy got the squash match in that he needed to have, can’t have Ced get in any offence.

 

And boy howdy was he ever squashed, glad to see Ced surviving to go to Ground Zero, even after Nemesis going nuts on the ambulance (is he going to fight the Ambulance next week? Flip it over and pin it?)

 

A promising start

 

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Stephens & Maddix discuss team names passing on the most obvious one

 

Techno Team 2006

 

Which nicely segue ways into the mystery of the Crimson Dragon. . . or whomever the guy was. Turns out the guy was someone called Gabriel Drake, who’s also the mysterious “Beast” from the board promos.

 

Stephens wets himself – in the bad way, not in a sexual way – so he must know this Drake fellar and I have my suspicious about who’s behind the guy (just watch, it’ll turn out to be a known SWF character that I’m not aware off)

 

Interesting.

 

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Not interesting? Grendel/MVS and the tag-team match

 

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I’m not going to say much about the main event, I am not going to toot my own horn too much I just look forward to the challenges to come.

[Toxxic 0]

For reference, the second 'Foreshadowing' promo made it clear that the person who broke Karl Winter's leg was probably NOT the Crimson Dragon, and was instead someone who knocked him out and stole his costume.

 

In other news, BLANK GETS A MAINSTREAM TITLE OMGZ! You are now banned from any and all hardcore matches and have to smoke a pipe when doing promos

 

Nemesis also looking good, I'm praying that it is actually a n00b and not a ringer. I mean, all new characters are good, but n00bs are somehow more satisfying than ringers because it means someone new's heard of us!

[Bruce Blank 0]

I knew I should have read the small print maybe I'll put on a smoking jacket and adopt a Bruce Hefner persona then.

[Bruce Blank 0]

Well I’m too frigging hot to be creative enough to write on the PPV match right now (damn heatwave) so I figured I’d give a bit more detailed feedback on the matches on Smarkdown.

 

Then I reread Smarkdown and realized that there was only one actual other match worth commenting on – the debut of Nemesis. Bummer but if nothing else I’ll give the new guy some feedback, I know from my own experience that some feedback on the early work is greatly appreciated.

 

Now: Nemesis Vs Ced Ordonez

 

A short but adequate intro to one of our resident jobbers, it did the trick I suppose but you may want to work more on your opponents entrance for the next show. You a lot of work into yours I can tell so some totally generic entrance for your opponent just screams “jobber” (Not a biggie issue)

 

The format is a bit different than the usual SWF format, but honestly if that’s what works for you go for it (I mean the way you format the commentary)

 

In a couple of short sentences I felt that you’ve introduced the Professor and Nemesis enough for most people to get a grip on their background and all for future match writing purposes, good stuff and I like the “specialness” of the entrance you cooked up, points for originality.

 

Now the match itself – well it’s a squash isn’t it? But then again why should a perennial jobber looks good or even like he has half a chance against a monster like Nemesis – like someone said a few weeks ago (I think it was) “Not all matches have to be ultra competitive”, which I agree with and this one definitely should NOT be ultra competitive.

 

On a personal note – he’s going to be a bitch of a character to get a truly super competitive back and forth match out of it for any writer. It certainly can’t have the same dynamics as say a couple of cruiserweights going at it, but that's the challenge here isn't it?. I just hope that you don’t feel too limited with this character in the long run, but then again who am I to talk I specifically picked a big brawler because I didn’t want to write super competitive spot fest Cruiserweight matches and I've done alright with a "limited character"

 

Back to the matter at hand – a squash, then after we go to commercials a re-squash with poor Ced getting beaten down again for pissing Nemesis off or something.

 

For what it was it was a good match, the interesting thing to see is when you’re forced to write longer matches, that’ll be very interesting to see. Especially with the Hardcore rules that would seem to help the opponent gain somewhat of a leverage against the tall, dark and horny one.

 

In conclusion – just keep up the good work, longer matches and stick with it is all I can say. If you ever need any other advice just let me know, I know how it is to be the new kid on the block.

[Guest El XL]

Thanks guys I appriciate a bit of feedback on my first match I've never written wrestling matches competitively just to help out with e-feds around the net so this is new to me.