Detachable Penis

[Gary Floyd 0]

woke up this morning with a bad hangover

And my penis was missing again

This happens all the time

It's detachable

This comes in handy a lot of the time

I can leave it home when I think it's going to get me in trouble

Or I can rent it out when I don't need it

 

But now and then I go to a party

Get drunk

And the next morning I can't for the life of me

Remember what I did with it

First I looked around my apartment

And I couldn't find it

So I called up the place where the party was

They hadn't seen it either

I asked them to check the medicine cabinet

'Cause for some reason I leave it there sometimes

But not this time

So I told them if it pops up to let me know.

 

I called a few people who were at the party

But they were no help either

I was starting to get desperate

I really don't like being without my penis for too long

It makes me feel like less of a man

And I really hate to have to sit down every time I take a leak

 

After a few hours of searching the house

And calling everyone I could think of

I was starting to get very depressed

So I went to the Kiev and ate breakfast.

Then as I walked down Second Avenue toward St. Mark's Place

Where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street

I saw my penis lying on a blanket next to a broken toaster oven

Some guy was selling it

I had to buy it off him

He wanted 22 bucks but I talked him down to 17

I took it home

Washed it off

And put it back on

I was happy again

Complete

People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached

But I don't know

Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass

I like having a detachable penis