SJ Comments on being in the Rumble.

[Stephen Joseph 0]

A commercial begins innocously enough. It's SNAKES...ON A PLANE...premiering this Friday night at theaters everywhere. Samuel L. Jackson is showing fighting various snakes, until the image cuts to SLJ, standing in darkness.

 

SLJ

Now, when I'm not fighting motherfucking snakes on a motheringfucking plane, I'm watching motheringfucking wrestling in the OAOAST. Why, Because I said so that's why.

 

I know you've seem me in alot of movies, and you know that I'm the baddest mother fucker on the planet, but I wanted to take time to tell you about a good friend of mine, Stephen Joseph

 

::Cue cheesy informercial music::

 

Stephen Joseph is a man of character. Stephen Joseph is a man of integrity. And tonight, he returns to the ring to face...aww what is this crap!

 

(Offscreen Director) Just read the script Samuel.

 

SLJ: I don't know who this motherfucker is! I thought this was a commercial.

 

(OD) It is

 

SLJ: I'm not giving a verbal blowjob to some two-bit hack wrestler who, hell, walks around with some motherfucking Rock wannabe clone!

 

Stephen Joseph: Really?

 

Stephen Joseph has walked into the picture and stands nose to nose with SLJ. He breathes hard and long into his face, and Samuel stares back.

 

Stephen Joseph: Why do you talk so loud?

 

SLJ: This is how I TALK!

 

Stephen Joseph: Why do you smell?

 

SLJ: Motherfucker, we had 500 snakes on a plane, pooping everywhere, dead bodies, why do you think I smell?

 

Stephen Joseph: Sigh. ::Whack!:: (Stephen Joseph knocks SLJ down with a right hand). I'll do this. Tonight, I return to the ring. And unlike Mr Snakes on a Plane here, I don't need to pretend tha I'm a bad man.

 

I know I am.