Guest Redhawk Report post Posted June 7, 2002 God, how many times did he say "viscious" on Smackdown tonight? And is it just me, or is he trying to sound less whiny and more manly lately? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest LaParkaMarka Report post Posted June 7, 2002 Yeah, he said "vicious" wayyyyyyyyyy too much tonight. Like, can't he get a thesaurus or something? Silly Michael Cole. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Report post Posted June 7, 2002 Am I hearing things wrong, or in the Kidman/Storm match didn't he call Kidman's Sunset Flip from the top a Spinebuster? I could've sworn it. I heard Tazz correct him right after by saying that it was a Sunset Flip. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest The Vanilla Midget Report post Posted June 7, 2002 why the fuck do we need to have a michael cole thread every week after smackdown? he sucks, we all know it, so get over it!!! or just watch the matches in mute. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Redhawk Report post Posted June 7, 2002 why the fuck do we need to have a michael cole thread every week after smackdown? he sucks, we all know it, so get over it!!! or just watch the matches in mute. Because every week, Michael Cole seems to exceed the bounds of stupidity that he had established the previous week. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest The Vanilla Midget Report post Posted June 7, 2002 well, we have the muta scale for bloodiness, just make the cole scale for stupidity. then we can just rate his stupidity in coles in the sd thread every week, without the need for endless "cole is so stupid," "cole is a bitch" threads every week. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Redhawk Report post Posted June 7, 2002 They're not endless...they stop after about 20 posts or so. And if you're so sick of Cole threads, how do you feel about the excessive amount of HHH, Hogan, and HBK threads? But back to the Cole/Muta scale. What Cole moment would be the 1.0 Cole? Would it be the DOG POOP? Or the 2,000-pound steps? What do you think? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest The Vanilla Midget Report post Posted June 7, 2002 umm, we'll take the maze of twisted steel for one cole thanks... they are pretty endless, and the other threads do get a little annoying, but at least they discuss different things every week (with the exception of trips) and there isnt universal conformity of opinion. these arent even discussions, as nobody has ever stood up for cole in any of these threads. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Report post Posted June 7, 2002 Well, hes not as bad as big tony BUt then again tony was the shit back in the day. --Rob Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Report post Posted June 7, 2002 I'd put the Dangers of Hell In A Cell at 1.0 Cole, with the 2000-pound stairs at .9, the DOG POOP at .8, and "Godfather's a fun-lovin' guy" at .5. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest alfdogg Report post Posted June 7, 2002 He's way worse than Tony. Tony was okay for a little while in WCW, but when he was in WWF he sucked hard. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest MarvinisaLunatic Report post Posted June 7, 2002 well, we have the muta scale for bloodiness, just make the cole scale for stupidity. then we can just rate his stupidity in coles in the sd thread every week, without the need for endless "cole is so stupid," "cole is a bitch" threads every week. Thats a pretty cool idea actually. As far as Im concerned, I hardly pay his stupid remarks any attention any more unless they are blatantly obvious. I don't know why they can't edit him out a bit since they have 2 days between taping and airing. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Nater Report post Posted June 7, 2002 was it viscous or vicious? anyhow.. i love last week somebody did what used to be a "blockbuster" or modified diamond cutter and he called it a neckbreaker.. lovely since it was off the second rope he still blew it off AND called it a simpler move.. im glad he was in those angles where austin & friends would beat the crap out of him.. you can seperate the marks and smarks by who is pitying him or laughing at him during that. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Slapnuts00 Report post Posted June 7, 2002 I'd take Tony WAYYY over Michael Cole. As annoying and hyperbolic as Tony was in the last years of WCW, he atleast had a lot of expirience in the business (much like JR), knew a good amount of names of moves (which should be a REQUIREMENT in a play by play position. "look" is the most important thing now!? Good god, could you imagine a baseball or football announcer who doesn't know the name of plays, and just goes "What a play!" every time. But I digress), and at least Tony seemed to have a genuine enthusiasm. Now I know he was pretty horrible at times, but seriously Cole, is fake, has NO background in wrestling and not only knows no move names, but miscalls others others, and adds "damn" "sickening" etc. before every word for "emotional" effect. He is the WORST wrestling announcer EVER, and that includes Pentingale, who's job was a shill guy who was cheesy, so to that degree he played it well. As for what's a 1.0 Cole? Clearly GIVING AWAY THE WINNER OF WRESTLEMANIA 15 is the king. Why he was not fired after that I have no idea. Also, if they INSIST on keeping Cole on Smackdown, I have a serious idea that could help make him manageable. TURN HIM HEEL. And get him off PbP, hire someone like Joey Styles, or hell just use the Coach or Kevin Kelly, with Cole and Tazz as a 3 man team. It can be like Jim Ross's heel character was with Vince and King in 96. Have something happen where he's attacked by a face (I always though a good catalyst would be the Rock humiliating him), and he decides not to take it any more, and freaks out. The next week, you can introduce Kelly or Coach as the new pbp man with Tazz replacing Cole for his "unprofessional" behavior, but the next week, have Cole get his spot back on the 3 man team, where he acts bitter towards the faces, and can even make "shoot" like comments. I think it would work. It would get the burden of calling a match off of him, which he has constantly proved he is not capable of, and it would at least make him fresh and interesting if they insist on keeping him on TV. That's my idea. It may seem ridiculous to have storylines with announcers, but JR pulled it of perfectly in 96 with Vince and King...we're almost approaching the 7 years between gimmicks so I think it's time to try it again. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Report post Posted June 7, 2002 why the fuck do we need to have a michael cole thread every week after smackdown? he sucks, we all know it, so get over it!!! or just watch the matches in mute. Listening to Michael Cole is like having a Toothache. It hurts like Hell but you can't help sucking wind through the tooth. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest oldschoolwrestling Report post Posted June 7, 2002 umm, we'll take the maze of twisted steel for one cole thanks... they are pretty endless, and the other threads do get a little annoying, but at least they discuss different things every week (with the exception of trips) and there isnt universal conformity of opinion. these arent even discussions, as nobody has ever stood up for cole in any of these threads. I'll stick up for Cole. He makes good Desire videos and I enjoyed when The Rock used to make fun of him. Other than that he really sucks. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest HartFan86 Report post Posted June 7, 2002 I love the Cole scale. He was really bad tonight saying how HHH's beating was "the worst of his carrer", then said how Hogan/HHH was the biggest main event ever on Smackdown, and how the battle royal was the greatest ever or something. I was too busy laughing at how stupid he sounded. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Army Eye Report post Posted June 7, 2002 I'd take Tony WAYYY over Michael Cole. As annoying and hyperbolic as Tony was in the last years of WCW, he atleast had a lot of expirience in the business (much like JR), knew a good amount of names of moves (which should be a REQUIREMENT in a play by play position. "look" is the most important thing now!? Good god, could you imagine a baseball or football announcer who doesn't know the name of plays, and just goes "What a play!" every time. But I digress), and at least Tony seemed to have a genuine enthusiasm. I agree here. I thought at the time that Tony Schiavone's fading years were as bad as it could get, but I stand corrected. Cole is much worse in EVERY way. I don't know what is the worst thing about Cole's play-by-play. -The fact that he knows no moves? -Everything has to be "sickening" or "vicious" and every object has to be made out of "steel"? -He has the most irritating voice in the world, making Mike Tenay's shrill, squeaking voice sound as good as Jesse Ventura's in comparison? -The fact that he sounds so damn fake in everything he says that I can't believe a word of it. Like you said at least Schiavone could actually sound enthusiastic. -And to top it all off.. Even in Tony Schiavone's declining years, when his body and face began to take on a bulbous shape, and he would even sometimes wear shirts that would cling to his amble breasts, he still could not possibly look as much like a tool as Michael Cole does. Hey, some people are born ugly and there's nothing you can do to change it, but it's not even that. It's that dumbass haircut and that pussy he's carrying on his chin (goatee) and those fag-got highlights in his hair. Someone in the WWF please tie this fruitcake up and forcibly give him a makeover. It is amazing to spectacularly fail in EVERY facet of your job and yet continue to hold it for years; and to manage to do so in a position where you're hosting one of the highest-rated cable shows ever is unprecedented. I said this a while ago, and I stand by it. You could pull ANY random poster from this forum, and they could do a better job than Cole. Maybe they wouldn't be good, but they'd have to be better than Cole. Most likely, at least they could call a match and actually know the names of moves, and wouldn't start shilling at the drop of a hat. Or at least maybe their voice wouldn't be as horrendous as Cole's. You get the idea. Cole is bad at everything. Absolutely nothing redeeming about his play-by-play. I'll try to be fair; is there anything that Cole does well? -the videos he produces are outstanding -when Austin gave him that stiff beatdown last year, I thought he sold it quite well To that end, if the WWE insists on giving him an on-air role, why not a heel manager? Most heel managers should be cowardly and annoying. Cole certainly can pull that off. And what would be more satisfying than when Cole gets his comeuppance from whatever face wrestler he's feuding with. Those beatdowns would get huge pops. I would be happy as a pig in shit watching those. The idea about him being a heel color guy isn't so bad either. Hey, it can't be worse than what we have now. Why not? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest RavishingRickRudo Report post Posted June 7, 2002 As long as Cole is alive there will always be, somewhere on the internet, an 'I hate Michael Cole' thread... And there is nothing wrong with that... He is the personification of 'sports entertainment' and what Vince Mcmahon has turned wrestling into. Turning Cole heel is a brilliant Idea since everyone hates him already and the heat he would get would be mindblowing. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest TheDames7 Report post Posted June 7, 2002 anyhow.. i love last week somebody did what used to be a "blockbuster" or modified diamond cutter and he called it a neckbreaker.. lovely since it was off the second rope he still blew it off AND called it a simpler move.. Both the Blockbuster & the Diamond Cutter are neckbreaker variations....so Cole at least got the basic move right. Thats as far as I'll stand up for him. Dames - Cuz Standing Tall Really Does Wonders...HA! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest dreamer420 Report post Posted June 7, 2002 Turning Cole heel is a brilliant Idea since everyone hates him already and the heat he would get would be mindblowing. the only heat he is capable of getting is from people on this board who start up the we hate michael cole thread every friday morning after smackdown! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Report post Posted June 8, 2002 I think 1.0 Cole should be: "This handicap match is turning into a 2 on 1 affair!" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest The Vanilla Midget Report post Posted June 8, 2002 definitely giving away the wrestlemania finish as 1 cole. the "handicap into a 2 on 1 affair" is about 0.8 cole from where i sit Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Anglesault Report post Posted June 8, 2002 "You can get your fingers caught" should be like .9 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Cataclysm911 Report post Posted June 8, 2002 As for what's a 1.0 Cole? Clearly GIVING AWAY THE WINNER OF WRESTLEMANIA 15 is the king. Why he was not fired after that I have no idea. I must've missed this one. Can someone explain to me exactly what was said? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Anglesault Report post Posted June 8, 2002 At WM 15, before the ME, he told us to tune in to the home shopping network and see the NEW WWF champion. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Cataclysm911 Report post Posted June 8, 2002 At WM 15, before the ME, he told us to tune in to the home shopping network and see the NEW WWF champion. Heh. That's pretty funny actually. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
