KingPK Posted August 24, 2006 Report Posted August 24, 2006 Three days from the hottest e-fed event of the summer, the OAOAST pitches it's tent in Lincoln, Nebraska for HeldDOWN~! 10,000+ Cornhuskers are packed in the arena, screaming their heads off as we SWOOP~! over to Sofa Central and your hosts for the evening. COLE We're just 72 hours away from what could be the most explosive AngleSlam in history! Good evening everyone, I'm Michael Cole, along with the Coach and we are on the final stop on the Road to AngleSlam, Lincoln, Nebraska for HeldDOWN~! COACH Things are starting to boil over in that locker room. Security had to escort certain individuals into the building to prevent fights from breaking out! Fortunately, the wait is almost over. COLE That's right, AngleSlam is coming to you THIS SUNDAY, live from Miami, Florida. There is a handful tickets left, but the best way to join in on the fun is calling your local cable or satellite provider. As for tonight, we've got a packed show for you, including our main event: Alfdogg will defend his OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship, three days before he does so against Drek Stone, mind you, against Drek's buddy, Hoff! COACH We're gonna see Hoff vs. Drek at AngleSlam? Sweet! COLE This decision by Alf is a headscratcher, but don't count him out tonight. We will also hear from the man who last week earned a Heavyweight Title shot whenever he pleases, Tha Puerto Rican. COACH This is the shot of a lifetime for Puerto, so he'll use it when he's damn good and ready. COLE We'd like to tell you that we are going to hear from Zack Malibu and Bruce Blank but, as we said last week, Zack will not appear on any cards where Bruce is in the building and...well...Bruce is in the building tonight and he will be in handicap action. COACH It really isn't fair that he gets to strut around here and get paid while Zack stews at home, but Zack just cannot be controlled when he is breathing the same air as Bruce Blank. Sunday night can't come soon enough for him. COLE We'll run down the complete AngleSlam card later in the show, but right now let's go to the ring to kick things off! "Ashburn" by Hikari hits the speakers, and the first competitor emerges on stage, accompanied by fluctuating sky blue lights, and is received by a polite applause from the Lincoln crowd. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for ONE fall! Introducing first, from Boston, Massachusetts... AYANEEEEE MITSUUUUUUIIIIII! COACH Wait. This is a women's match?! Do we even have a women's division? COLE Well, we used to... Ayane Mitsui, having arrived alone and clad in a black half shirt and shorts, wastes little time in getting to the ring, where she steels herself for the arrival of her opponent. COACH Where's her partner? COLE Ayane has elected to wrestle tonight without the aid of her partner, Otaku, at ringside, as a way of legitimizing her match. "Ashburn" dies out, and is replaced by "Cave" by Muse. Sydney Sky appears on the stage, dressed to wrestle in a purple corset top and black vinyl pants. As she arrives, pyrotechnic explosions of purple, blue, and white decorate the arena. Sydney also receives applause from the audience as she smiles serenely, taking her time in walking down the ramp. BUFFER And her opponent, from Los Angeles California... SYDNEEEEEEEY SKYYYYYYYY! COLE This is Sydney Sky's singles debut here in OAOAST; she previously tag teammed with Longdogger Pete to take on Peter Knight and Gibraltar. COACH Wait. This is another SWF wrestler? COLE Former SWF wrestler, yes. COACH Well, they just keep coming out of the woodwork, don't they? Finally Sydney climbs into the ring. She winks at the announcers, then turns to face her opponent as her music dies down. Sydney and Ayane square off as the referee signals for the bell to be rung to start the match. DING DING! COLE And we are underway! Sydney attempts to lock up with her opponent, but Ayane is aggressive from the beginning, jabbing at Sydney's upper body to fend off her arms, then delivering a swift kick to the midsection that catches Sydney slightly off balance. Ayane steps forward, landing another kick to the midsection, followed by a rabbit punch to Sydney's jaw. Sydney shakes her head, rattled for a moment, then puts her hands up, palms out, to deflect Ayane's next punch. Ayane tries for a high kick, but Sydney's arms manage to hold it off. Sydney delivers a kick of her own, leaping up suddenly and planting Ayane with a front dropkick, knocking Ayane backward. COLE Some early offense from Ayane, but Sydney turns Ayane's fighting style to her own advantage. COACH Ayane's following mostly a striker's style. COLE True - she was a trained kickboxer before coming to OAOAST. As Ayane reels, Sydney presses her attack, twisting her body into a spinning wheel kick that catches Ayane by the left shoulder. Ayane falls backward, landing hard on the mat on the same shoulder. Sydney drops to the mat and locks in a queen arm scissors on Ayane's left arm, trying to cause a submission by wrenching on the weakened left shoulder. Ayane balls her right hand into a fist, to prevent herself from impulsively tapping out as she fights the pain. COACH That fall looked nasty. COLE I think Ayane may have hurt her shoulder on that fall, and now Sydney Sky is targeting it as a weak spot. Ayane refuses to submit, and Sydney finally relinquishes her hold. Sydney stands back up, but Ayane remains on the mat, her right arm holding her shoulder. Sydney's expression turns dark, and she drives a boot hard into the side of Ayane's shoulder. SYDNEY Get up! Ayane recoils in pain but doesn't stand, and Sydney hesitates only a moment before kicking her again. SYDNEY I said get UP! COACH Damn! Sydney is really taking it to her! Maybe Ayane needs Otaku out here after all. Ayane rolls away from Sydney and shakily gets to her feet. Sydney goes after Ayane with a straight overhand punch, but Ayane ducks the punch and grabs Sydney by the right arm, pulling her into an Irish whip. Sydney is propelled toward the ropes, then yanked back as she bounces off them. On the return trip, Ayane steps to the side and delivers a roundhouse kick across Sydney's midsection. Sydney actually falls forward, over Ayane's leg, and somersaults end over end, landing hard on the mat on her back side. Ayane takes advantage by dropping atop Sydney and hooking her leg for a cover attempt. COLE And here's the first cover of the night! ONE! TWO! Sydney gets her shoulder up to break the pinfall. Ayane pulls her up by her arm and stands her up, heaving Sydney over her shoulders in a German suplex. Rather than rolling suplexes, Ayane involuntarily releases the move after the first suplex due to the strain the move places on her tender left shoulder. Ayane then rolls atop Sydney for another cover attempt. ONE! TWO! Sydney kicks out, breaking the cover again. Both women get back to their feet, and Ayane attempts to further wear Sydney down with a pair of fierce kicks to the knees. Before Sydney can react, Ayane grabs her by the arm, pulling her again into an Irish whip. This time Sydney is prepared, and reverses the whip, sending Ayane running just ahead of her instead. Sydney then stops Ayane's momentum abruptly by grabbing her by the injured left shoulder, then pulling her backward, slamming her down hard to the mat. Ayane lands on her shoulder, and she clutches it in pain as she rolls off her shoulder onto her right side. Seizing an opportunity, Sydney runs to the ropes herself, leaping up onto the second rope, then somersaulting backward in a lionsault, hitting one of her trademark moves, the Fallen Star. COLE Nice aerial move by Sydney Sky! She calls it the Fallen Star! COACH I have to hand it to them - I was expecting your standard women's T&A display, but what we're seeing here looks to be an actual wrestling match! COLE These two are on a mission to revitalize the women's division, Coach! And it looks like, at least for tonight, they are proving successful! Sydney goes for a cover after the momentum of the Fallen Star. ONE! TWO! THRE-- NO! Ayane just manages to get her shoulder up to prevent the three count. Both women return to a vertical base, and this time, Ayane acts first, launching a high kick toward Sydney. Sydney catches Ayane's leg, but Ayane fires upward with the other leg, completing the enziguri and knocking Sydney over. Ayane lands atop Sydney, pinning her shoulders to the mat as the referee gets down on his knees to make the count. ONE! TWO! Sydney quickly sits up, breaking the pin, and rolls Ayane back in the process, maneuvering her into a mahistrol cradle with a pinfall attempt of her own. ONE! TWO! And Ayane breaks the pin, hoisting her right shoulder into the air with all the energy she can muster. Ayane slowly starts to get back up, but it is becoming more clear that the injury to Ayane's left shoulder is taking a serious toll on her maneuverability. The Lincoln audience cheers Sydney on, feeling an increase in her momentum as she locks up with Ayane again, this time hitting with a devastating Twist of Fate that drops Ayane immediately to the mat and causes even more damage to her shoulder. COLE Nice Twist of Fate by Sydney - that's one of her trademark moves. She calls it the "Sky Swirl." COACH How the hell do you know all this? Did you read her MySpace or something? COLE And now it looks like she's gearing up to finish this contest! Ayane is motionless on the mat, and Sydney lifts her back to a standing position, bending her over into position for a modified Pedigree - Sydney's finisher, the Daybreak. Sydney raises one arm in the air to appease the fans before she executes the move, but while she does so, Ayane - momentarily recovering - shoves Sydney with all her strength. Sydney staggers backward, leaning against the ropes to keep from falling over. Ayane charges at Sydney with an arm outstretched, attempting a clothesline, but Sydney sidesteps, causing Ayane to charge headlong into the ropes, getting herself tangled in them. As Ayane extricates herself, Sydney leaps into the air, wrapping her legs around Ayane's shoulders and forcing her back to the mat in a standing hurricanrana. COACH Ouch! I think I may have heard something pop on that one! Sydney drops back down to the mat and crawls over the near motionless Ayane for a pinfall attempt. ONE! Shockingly, as Ayane starts to resist, Sydney lifts her feet, placing them across the bottom rope to give her leverage - and the referee doesn't see the act! TWO! COLE Hey, wait! What is Sydney doing?! THREE! DING DING! Sydney rolls off Ayane quickly as "Cave" begins playing again; she gets to her feet as the referee raises her arm in victory. BUFFER Here is your winner... SYDNEEEEEEEY SKYYYYYYYYYY! COLE Did you see that? She cheated! She had her feet on the ropes! COACH Cole, you know it's not cheating if you don't get caught! As Sydney celebrates her first singles win in the OAOAST, a chagrined Ayane Mitsui gets to her feet. She points to the ropes in surprise, and then points to Sydney, frowning as she does so. Sydney merely shrugs her shoulders, feigning innocence. COLE Looks like Ayane is not happy about this defeat. It's, at best, a somewhat tainted victory for Sydney Sky as she defeats Ayane Mitsui in her first singles match for OAOAST, and I don't think we'll be seeing the last of these two competitors. MONEY, MONEY, MONEY, MONEY...MONEYMAKER! SMN PRODUCTIONS PRESENTS... A SIMON SINGLETON Film A MACKENZINE DECENZO Interview MONEY MATTERS The interview is shot inside a moving LIMOUSINE. Seated next to Theodore in a pinstrip suit and mini-skirt is the smokin' hot Mackenzie DeCenzo, her smooth legs crossed in the most feminine matter. MACKENZIE Every media outlet wanted this exclusive, but only SMN Productions can bring it to you. Here with "The Billion Dollar Heir" Thedore Moneymaker. Thedore... * PUFF * * PUFF * * PUFF * * EXHALES * THEODORE (lowers smoking pipe) Please, call me Teddy. All my friends do. All my high powered friends. Heh heh heh ha. MACKENZIE Teddy, I must thank you for granting SMN Productions your first one on one interview since announcing to the world your signing with the OAOAST a few weeks ago. THEODORE Oh, it's my pleasure, Mackenzie. I know a good investment when I it, and SMN Productions is the fastest growing company in the world. Perhaps we can get together later in the evening and discuss my buying a stake in the company. MACKENZIE I'm sure something can be arrange THEODORE Of course I'd have to go over your figures thoroughly. MACKENZIE Whew, is it just me or is it getting hot in here? THEODORE It's gonna get even hotter in a few minutes. Trust me. MACKENZIE (clears throat) Anyway, let's talk about your debut next week on HeldDOWN~! THEODORE That's right, Mackie. After talking about it for weeks I'm finally going to put my money where my mouth is when I step inside the ring and show the world I'm not just some billionaire looking for a good time, but to become the greatest superstar in OAOAST history. I have the pedigree. I definitely have all the money. And I won't be afraid to use all the resouces at my disposal to become the greatest the sport has ever seen. The limo pulls up in a driveway and parks. THEODORE Ah, we're here. Better put these on. Theodore hands Mackenzie, Simon and an unknown third man HARD HATS. The DRIVER opens the door for Theodore, who escorts Mackenzie outside. Because Teddy and Mackie are the first out the door, leaving Simon and his Siclopys behind, we're treated to a PANTY SHOT~! The unknown soon becomes the known, as NED BLANCHARD, in the trademark Beverly Hills Blonds silver vest, marvels over the sight of... MONEY MANOR? THEODORE Welcome to Guacamole, Mexico! NED (marking out) Holy shit! That's a dead ringer for my ex's pad. THEODORE It's a dead ringer all right -- a dead ringer for Money Manor. MACKENZIE I don't understand. How? THEODORE Lupita, Augusto, venga aquí, por favor. SIMON (Off-Screen) Isn't that legal in Vegas? A Mexican couple, early 30s, exit the mansion and warmly greet Theodore and company. AUGUSTO Señor Theodore, bienvenida. Welcome. Mi casa es su casa. THEODORE (chuckles) Ain't that the truth. Lupita, how are you? LUPITA Muy bueno, senor. THEODORE Good. Good. Are you excited about my in-ring return next week? AUGUSTO (broken English) Oh, yes. Very much. It's been the talk of the town. Theodore Moneymaker all the way! THEODORE All the way? AUGUSTO All the way! NED (to Theodore) Jesus Christ, son, you bring us all the way... AUGUSTO & LUPITA All the way! NED (glares at couple) ...to Mexico just to ask Speedy Gonzalez and his old lady if they're excited about your return to the ring? I could be in the 90210 conquering some hottie, man. Instead we're out here burning in the hot sun. THEODORE Calm down. Or as your people say, chill. The show is about to begin. Lupita and Augusto are old friends. Contrary to popular belief, I don't crush dreams...I make them. I loaned them the money to build this place. And I've come to collect. AUGUSTO (nervous laughter) No, señor, you gave us the money under the condition the house was built to your liking. THEODORE Now you're catching on, amigo. LUPITA B-But it is our home. THEODORE So you have the money? AUGUSTO Señor, Teddy, we're friends. Let's be reasonable. THEODORE It's Theodore to you, little man. So do you or don't you have the money? Mackenzie and Ned struggle to hide their laughter, amused by what they're seeing. LUPITA Please, I beg of you. Have your way with me, just let us be. THEODORE Heavens, no! You're 33 but you look 60. I wouldn't touch you for all the money in the world. Well, maybe for all the money, but that isn't on the table. NED (to Mackie) My old man told me two things growing up: Never mess with another man's woman and never drink the water in Mexico. I've messed with another man's woman, but I kept my word on not drinking the water in Mexico. Hahaha. AUGUSTO But you gave it to us. THEODORE It's like I've always said, little man, "Money talks, bullshit walks." Now say hello to Money Manor Mexico. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Theodore's security team evict the family, dragging their kicking and screaming kids from the mansion to his delight. * STYLISH CLIP * The sun setting in the background, Theodore and the Beverly Hills Blonds lounge in the backyard, smoking CIGARS while Mackenzie swims in the pool. THEODORE I told you life is good if you're "The Billion Dollar Heir". See you next week in the ring. MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You break the laws You hustle, you deal, you steal from us all Come on come on, lovin' for the money Come on come on, listen to the Moneytalk Come on come on, lovin' for the money Come on come on, listen to the Moneytalk Moneytalks Moneytalks B.S. Walks Moneytalks Commercial break
KingPK Posted August 25, 2006 Author Report Posted August 25, 2006 COLE Welcome back to HeldDOWN~!. A couple of weeks ago, we headlined this very program with one of the most exciting matches of the year thus far, the second Torneo Cibernetica in OAOAST history, won by James Blonde in one hell of an effort. However, one of the men in that bout is still quite bitter about losing that bout. Take a look at this footage from earlier today... (Cut to a shot of Dark Predator lacing up his boots in the locker room. All of a sudden, Sly Sommers comes in, wearing quite the terrible orange jogging suit.) SLY Hey! (Predator doesn't notice him) HEY! (Predator still doesn't notice him, so Sly slaps him in the back of the head, causing Predator to look up) Listen punk, I don't exactly appreciate your little flip-de-do with that other masked Oriental ruining my chances at winning the Torneo Cibernetica (Predator shrugs) Don't act stupid...you two little pugs ruined the flow of the bout that Team Brock had set and screwed things up. (Ultra Shago enters the room and gets up in Sly's face) I guess you Japanese punks don't stay far apart... (Out of nowhere, a bald Japanese man wearing baggy black pants and no shirt charges in and jumps Shago from behind! He throws Shago into a set of lockers. Predator tries attacking the man, but the guy nails a STIFF thrust kick to the stomach, then bodyslams him onto the bench that he was just sitting on! Sly then leads the man out of the room, as we fade back with a shot of the damage) COLE Turns out that mystery destroyer was Yoshi Tanichiri, who wrestled here once in a three-way match a couple of months back with Shago and Predator that was interrupted by the monstrous Gibraltar. Tanichiri, an ex-pro skateboarder who got banned from that sport for his violent streak has basically dropped all of the skater punk elements to his personality, shaved off the blonde mohawk, and has, from what the insider reports we got have said, become an absolute beast in HI-GATE. Apparantly, Sly Sommers has hired him to take out the two men he credits with "ruining" the Torneo Cibernetica a couple of weeks ago. COACH After hearing about this, the OAOAST Board of Directors have partnered the often-enemies Shago and Predator against Sly and his new Asian protector, Yoshi Tanichiri! Let's go to the ring! ("Sexy Results" by Death from Above 1979 starts up, as Sly Sommers and Yoshi Tanichiri come to the ring. Sommers hops around and taunts a few fans, as his intense partner just storms to the ring.) COACH We barely got to see what Tanichiri had in him last time...hopefully we get to see a bit more tonight! ("Redemption" by Gackt starts up, and out come Ultra Shago and Dark Predator to cheers. Predator's wearing an all-white variation of his usual ring gear, with the two wearing similar masks (Shago's is feathered; Predator's has a horn sticking out of the forehead) COLE We've seen these two tear the roof off of buildings across the country against each other; let's see how they do together! *DING DING* Sly Sommers and Ultra Shago start off. They circle around mid-ring before going into a brief collar-and-elbow lock-up, which Shago converts right into a rear waistlock. Sly breaks Shago's grip around the waist and hurls him around by his left arm. Shago rolls right back up to his feet and they go back to the collar-and-elbow. This time, Sly goes for the rear waistlock and uses his strength and size advantage to convert it into a waistlock takedown. Sly sticks his tongue out at Shago, then comes off of the ropes behind him and leaps over Shago. Shago pops up to his feet as Sly comes off of the other side and leapfrogs over him in mid-ring. Shago rolls backwards as Sly comes off of the ropes. Shago rolls until he's basically standing on his head, as he wraps his legs around Sly's head in mid-ring and goes for a satellite flying headscissors...but Sly grabs onto Shago's legs and tosses him up into the air! Shago lands on his feet, but Sly captures a headlock from behind into a headlock takeover! COLE Sommers is going to have to keep Ultra Shago on the mat if he wants to gain victory in this bout. Sly cranks on the hold briefly on the mat before Shago reaches up with his legs and counters it into a headscissors. Sly quickly bridges before turning himself around to a front position, then pushes his feet off of the mat and pushes off of the mat with his hands to pop out of the headscissors and pushes Shago's legs up for a jackknife pin... ONE! T..Shago rolls out to his side... But, Sly grabs Shago's left leg behind him as he rolls into his stomach. Shago pushes up with both arms, pushes down behind his left knee with his right leg to bend it and yank Sly's grip away, then quickly pops up to his feet with a go-behind into a schoolboy... ONE! TW..Kickout! Both pop up and Shago grabs Sly's left hand with his right and rotates into a twisting knucklelock. Shago grabs the left hand, then rolls onto his back, forcing Sly to bend over, then places his ankles behind Sly's armpits and pushes in, forcing Sly to roll into a sunset cradle... ONE! TW-KICKOUT! Sly rolls backwards out of the pin and then does a leap-roll forward into a Northern Lights bridge on Shago... ONE! TW-KICKOUT! Shago turns around, but Sly twists himself around and on top of Shago in an amateur-style referee's position mount. Sly shoots the half and goes into a pin... ONE! TW-KICKOUT! Shago rolls onto his stomach, so Sly tries to go for an Oklahoma Roll. However, Shago grabs Sly's legs as he tries rolling over and traps him into a cradle... ONE! TW-KICKOUT! Both men pop up to their feet. Shago charges at Sly, using his lack of height as leverage underneath his bigger opponent, and traps Sommers in his corner. Shago tags out to Dark Predator, as Shago gives Sly an Irish whip that sends him off into the ropes. Predator slingshots himself into the ring over the top rope and charges at Sly, going for a shoulderblock...but they collide in mid-ring, and Sly sends his smaller opponent down, laughing at him after the fall. Sly goes to the ropes to his left, bounces off of them, and leaps over Predator, who's rolled over onto his stomach. Sly comes off of the ropes and gets caught into a Japanese armdrag where Predator backflips over with it, keeps ahold of the arm as he sits Sly up, then wraps his legs around the other arm and rolls Sly back into a crucifix... ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Both men pop up and Predator evades up Sly (rolling up his front into a hurricanrana position), then rolls to his side as he falls to the ground, grabbing Sly's arm and dragging him into a fireman's carry and follows that up by bridging over Sly for a pin! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Predator gets up before Sly and backs Sly into his corner, where he tags in Shago again. Again, Sly gets whipped from the corner into the ropes. Sly bounces off of the ropes, getting dropkicked in the gut by Predator while Shago leapfrogs over Sly, converting that into a Code Red as soon as Sly bends over! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Ultra Shago gets up as Sly gets up to all fours. Shago goes for La Magistral, but Sly gets up during it, lifts Shago up holding his wrist with both hands, and drives him back with a wrist-clutch side suplex! Sly lays on the mat for a second and holds his neck from that devastating Code Red. He then grabs Shago by the leg and drags him over to his corner. Sly tags out to yoshi Tanichiri. Tanichiri slingshots himself over the top rope and crashes down onto Shago's ribs with a brutal double stomp! COLE The ruthlessness level has skyrocketed! yoshi just stands on Shago's stomach with a dirty look on his face, flipping off the crowd with both hands! Shago tries sitting up, and yoshi kicks him in the side of the face! Tanichiri climbs down off of his opponent, then comes off of the ropes and performs a mean axe stomp to Shago's throat! Ultra Shago rolls around, holding his throat in pain, and yoshi nails a falling headbutt to the back of Shago's head. yoshi then smirks and grabs Shago's hand...he drags him over and assists him in tagging out! COACH That's ridiculously cocky! Predator comes in and gets slapped HARD in the face! Predator replies with a chop to the chest, then comes off of the ropes, leaps over yoshi, and brings him over with an armdrag that sends yoshi rolling under the bottom rope and to the floor! Predator then takes off, bounces off of the ropes on the other end, then charges forward and goes for a tope con hilo...but yoshi moves and Dark Predator lands HARD on the floor! Gasps and boos fill the air, as yoshi flips off the crowd again! Sly Sommers climbs to the top turnbuckle, leaps off, and connects with a brutal cannonball senton onto Dark Predator! Sly gets up, as Ultra Shago climbs into the ring and sets up for a dive. He starts running, bounces off of the ropes on the other side...and yoshi Tanichiri pops in out of nowhere with a rolling Koppo kick from the side! COLE yoshi Tanichiri's become a juggernaut in no time! Sly Sommers rolls Dark Predator back into the ring as yoshi rolls Ultra Shago to the apron. yoshi then rolls Predator right next to Ultra Shago, just about forcing a tag. yoshi pulls Shago into the ring and sends him off with an Irish whip. Shago bounces off of the ropes and runs right into a LOUD thrust kick to the chest! Tanichiri then comes off of the ropes and nails a leaping kneedrop! He sits on Shago with his shin across the masked man's throat, as the referee counts for a break... ONE! (Tanichiri sticks his middle finger right in ther referee's face with a stone-face) TWO! THREE! FOUR! Tanichiri breaks it. He pulls Shago up and backs him up into a neutral corner. He goes for an Irish whip, but when he pulls Shago out of the corner, he reverses direction, sweeps Shago's feet, and sends Shago face-first into the bottom turnbuckle! yoshi gets up and Shago raises his head...so yoshi stomps the back of his head to send his face back into the turnbuckle! Shago picks up his head again...same result! yoshi climbs up to the second rope to taunt the crowd with an iron stare to a chorus of boos! Shago rises his head again...so yoshi leaps down and connects with a double stomp to send him back down! COACH Harsh! Tanichiri pulls Shago out by the foot. He then lifts Shago for a wheelbarrow and tags to Sly Sommers. Sly comes into the ring, leaps up, and the bad guys connect with a wheelbarrow/reverse Lungblower move! Sly keeps his knees up as yoshi lifts Shago up and tosses him down onto Sly's knees chest-first as hard as he can! yoshi leaves the ring as Sly taunts the crowd and Shago crawls to a seated position in a neutral corner. Sly sees this, charges at him, and nails a cannonball roll, throwing all of his weight into Shago's chest! Sly pulls Shago out of the corner and goes for a cover without hooking the leg... ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Sly shrugs at the referee, then pulls Shago up and nails a short-arm spear. Another cover with no leg hooked... ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Sly pulls Shago up with a front facelock and backs up into his corner. Sommers tags yoshi Tanichiri back in. Tanichiri knees Shago on the top of the head, then Sly lets him go and goes back to the apron. yoshi pulls Shago up and lifts him for a bodyslam. He walks around the ring, holding Shago in his arms. The boos get louder and louder as yoshi nonchalantly walks around with him. Finally, yoshi plants Shago on the canvas with the slam. yoshi sits Shago up and locks in a grounded bodyscissors.yoshi turns to his side and mockingly claps along with the fans in support of Ultra Shago. Tanichiri pushes down on his right thigh and applies even more pressure, crushing Shago's mid-section and making it hard to breathe. Shago tries to reach for the ropes with his hand, so yoshi grabs the arm and applies an armbar to go along with the bodyscissors. Shago then tries reaching for the ropes with his feet, but Sly yanks back the bottom rope to hurt Shago's chances in reaching them. The referee sees this and yells at Sly to get back in his corner. Finally, Shago gets his left foot on the bottom rope. COLE yoshi and Sly look to have Shago well on the way to destruction. yoshi Tanichiri gets up and connects with a stomp so hard that you can hear the "THUD!" watching on TV! Tanichiri pulls Shago up and keeps ahold of him by the neck, as he tags in Sly Sommers. Sly doesn't leave the apron as yoshi sends Shago off with an Irish whip. Shago bounces off of the ropes and runs right into a rolling legsweep by Tanichiri, causing Shago to roll onto his back and putting him in prime position for a slingshot corkscrew elbow drop by Sly! yoshi rolls out, and a cover! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Sly yells at the referee for counting slow, then pulls Shago up and sends him into a neutral corner with an Irish whip. Sly charges and nails a big shoulder tackle to the stomach! Sly reaches back and charges his corner into Shago's stomach again. Sly then takes a few steps back and poses for the crowd. He then charges forward...but Shago slinks over Sly and goes for a Code Red! But, Sly grabs the legs, flings him upward while turning around, and nails a Gory Bomb that sends Shago face-first into the middle turnbuckle! Shago rolls onto his back, holding his face, as Sly slides back for a cocky pin... ONE! TWO! ROPE BREAK! Sly angrily pulls Shago up to his feet and sends him off to the ropes with an Irish whip. Shago bounces off of the ropes and somehow goes for a flying headscissors, swings around the back, and swings back into a flying headscissors! But, Ultra Shago has absolutely no energy and is just laying there. He slowly tries crawling back to his corner, as Sly crawls over quicker and tags in yoshi Tanichiri. Tanichiri runs over to the other side and knocks Dark Predator off of the apron. Tanichiri then climbs onto the apron where Predator was standing and mockingly acts like he's awaiting for the hot tag! Shago reaches out in a daze and tags Tanichiri in?!?!? yoshi comes into the ring and PUMPS UP...then stomps Shago repeatedly! COACH This guy's flat-out an ass! Tanichiri pulls Shago up sends him off with an Irish whip. Shago bounces off of the ropes and runs right into a double-handed chop. Shago goes down as yoshi springboards off of the second rope and nails a turn-around kneedrop. Cover! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! yoshi, rather angrily, turns Shago over and begins to rub his face into the mat out of frustration. The crowd boos, as yoshi gets up and stomps the back of Shago's head. Tanichiri gets to his feet and just looks down at Shago in disgust. The crowd boos the inactivity, as Shago is barely able to even reach up to try and pull himself up using his opponent. Shago's basically hanging off of Tanichiri, who looks down at this, then pulls Shago up into a front facelock, then knees him in the face as he lets go of Shago. Shago stays in a bent position and yoshi leaps up to PANCAKE Shago with a double-stomp to the back that sends him down hard! COLE You'd think they were wrestling on the moon with vertical leaps like that! yoshi doesn't waste any time, following up immediately with a back senton onto Shago's targetted back. yoshi turns Shago over and goes for yet another cover... ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! The crowd cheers the kickout, as yoshi pulls Shago up and shoves him into his team's corner. yoshi tags out to Sly, and they both pull Shago to mid-ring and then send him off with an Irish whip. Shago comes off of the ropes and tries leaping towards his corner...but Sly catches him over his shoulder! The crowd cheers Shago on, as he tries to use the momentum of the jump to move Sly towards the corner...but yoshi Tanichiri nails an upward dropkick to Shago's face, right into a front spinebuster by Sly! yoshi rolls to the outside as Sly goes for the cover! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Sly cannot believe it and literally just stares at Shago's raised shoulder! The crowd continues to cheer until Sly quickly pulls Shago up, lifts him over his shoulder, and locks in a Canadian Backbreaker. Sly bounces up and down as Shago's back is bent at a completely wrong angle over the shoulder. The crowd chants.... "SHAGO!" "SHAGO!" Shago's trying to reach out for what seems like crowd support, but he's fading out quickly. The chanting and clapping gets louder and louder, as Shago is slowly coming back and tries sitting up on Sly's shoulder! The crowd's noise is just a blur of sound now, as Shago's basically broken Sly's grip and is falling off...and somehow converts his landing into a Code Red! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Both men get up, with Sly getting up quicker, and he kicks Shago in the stomach. Sommers goes for a powerbomb...but Shago rolls to the side while grabbing the arm and reverses with an armdrag! Shago feeds off of the crowd and gets up while holding his back, heading towards his corner for the tag...and Sly tackles him from the side! Sly forearms Shago in the face out of frustration while down on the mat. He pulls Shago up and lifts him for a side suplex...Shago lands on his feet behind Sly and falls back into a tag into Dark Predator! CROWD ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAR! Sly turns around, as Predator busts out a slingshot flip over the top rope into a hurricanrana! Predator comes off of the ropes as Sly comes to his feet and ducks a clothesline from Predator. Dark Predator comes off of the ropes on the other side and gets lifted into a gorilla press. But, Predator somehow slides out into a swinging hurricanrana! Sly rolls out of the ring, so Predator charges towards the ropes and goes for a dive...but he laces his arms against the top rope to fling himself back, the momentum causing him to roll back, and Predator poses on his feet to cheers! COLE Predator's taken care of one of them! yoshi Tanichiri completely ignores the referee and comes into the ring to kick Dark Predator in the side of the head! He pulls Predator up and sends him off with an Irish whip. Predator bounces off of the ropes and gets lifted into a tilt-a-whirl...but Predator reverses into an armdrag! Tanichiri rolls back up to his feet and Predator charges at him. Dark Predator ducks a clothesline from yoshi, then does a double-springboard leap to the top rope in the corner behind Tanichiri, does a backflip as yoshi just can look at the beauty of the flip...and Predator lands with an armdrag! yoshi Tanichiri slides out of the ring out of the momentum and Predator poses in the ring to cheers! COACH That was the other one! Out from behind, Sly Sommers comes in under the bottom rope and jumps Predator from behind with the forearm. Sly sends Predator off with an Irish whip and Sly nails a Black Hole Slam backbreaker! Sommers quickly pulls Predator up and performs an Irish whip into the heel corner. Sly charges, but Predator slinks over him and brings Sommers over with a backslide! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Both men are up and Sly headbutts Predator to daze him. Sly walks around Predator to leap up to a seated position on the top turnbuckle. All of a sudden, Predator turns around and jumps up so high that he's able to nail a hurricanrana on Sommers! The crowd cheers as Predator goes for the cover! ONE! TWO! yoshi Tanichiri breaks it up! Tanichiri is yelled at by the referee and told to go back to his corner, then turns around right into a springboard hurricanrana from Ultra Shago! Shago then lies on the mat, holding his back from all the work his opponents did on it. Predator goes for a suplex on Sommers, but Sly slinks over the top and reverses into the One Hit Wonder (Roll of the Dice/Hero's Welcome)! Sly rolls that right over so that both men are on their feet, then stands Predator up, grabs Predator's left hand and pulls it in between his legs from behind, then turns that around and nails a self-cradled piledriver! COVER! ONE! TWO! Shago breaks it up! Quickly enough though, Tanichiri comes up behind Shago with a forearm to the lower back! He lifts Shago up for a side suplex and drops him into a backbreaker! Chuskai chains that into a uranage backbreaker! Tanichiri finishes the chain with chain with a brainbuster! Cover! ...the referee refuses to count, as Shago's not the legal man! Tanichiri curses at the referee in Japanese, then tosses Shago out of the ring. Sly pulls Predator up. Predator gets sent off with an Irish whip, but comes back and goes for a Tornado DDT on Sly! But, Sly spins around right into where yoshi Tanichiri catches Predator's feet and holds them up above his head! Sly breaks the front facelock and grabs Predator's shoulders, holding him up in the air on the other end. Sly & yoshi then toss Shago up, flipping him onto his back eight feet in the air, and drive him down into the mat with a spiked sit-out bomb! Sly goes for the cover! ONE! TWO! TH-KICKOUT! The crowd cheers, as Sly brushes the hair out of his eyes and just cannot believe it! Sly quickly pulls Predator up and tells Tanichiri to go up top. Sly then lifts Dark Predator over his shoulder with a double-underhook...Tanichiri comes off of the top rope with a double stomp to Predator's chest, pushing Predator right down into a piledriver variation! Sly goes for the cover! ONE! TWO! THR...Shago comes out of nowhere with a springboard Shooting Star Press to break it up! Tanichiri grabs Shago and tosses him right back out of the ring. Yoshi pulls Predator up and tells Sly to go up top. Tanichiri lifts Predator up for an electric chair with their backs to Sly. Sommers leaps off for a flying Lungblower off of Yoshi's shoulders...but crashes and burns when Predator rolls through for a victory roll on Tanichiri... ONE! TWO! THREE! *DING DING* BUFFER YOUR WIIIIIIINEEEEEEEEEERS....Ultra Shago and DAAAAAARK PREDATOOOOOOR! COLE Predator came OUT OF NOWHERE with the roll-up and the win! Predator runs out of the ring, as Yoshi Tanichiri looks to be on the warpath from being snuck up upon like that! Dark Predator pulls Shago up to his feet and hugs him as the crowd applauds. Sly and Yoshi are outraged! Predator and Shago walk to the locker room, slapping hands with the fans as they walk! COACH Great match from the international talents, and another example of why the OAOAST offers more variety than any other promotion in the world! We begin by seeing “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican standing near the top of a steel cage. He sneers at the camera. The camera pulls back to reveal that PRL is in an empty arena which is dark except for a lone spotlight which is shining on him and the cage. “MEAN” GENE OKUERLAND Three days from now at AngleSlam, it will be Thunderkid taking on “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican in a match that is being called PR/Thunderkid: The Final Confrontation. As “Mean” Gene says this, Tha Puerto Rican climbs down the cage and joins up with his manager and “Career Consultant” Stephen Joseph Popick, who is holding the Corporate Champion belt over his right shoulder, and “Mean” Gene Okuerland. “MEAN” GENE And this match is not just any regular match. You and Thunderkid will be locked inside this 15-foot high steel cage, and the only way to win the match is by making your opponent say, “I quit!” And might I add, this is a very eerie feeling, being surrounded by this cage. “THE CORPORATE CHAMPION” THA PUERTO RICAN Oh yeah, it certainly is eerie. I’ve been in many cage matches in my career, but not like this. I’ve been bloodied before in cage matches. I’ve been hit with weapons before in cage matches. I’ve even fell 20 feet off a cage in one memorable cage match. Still, even though I’m experienced with this type of match, I’m still a little nervous about stepping into this very ring this Sunday at AngleSlam. “MEAN” GENE And why is that? THA PUERTO RICAN It’s because…it’s because I’m nervous of what I’m going to do to Thunderkid. Thunderkid has been bugging the hell out of me for four months. FOUR LONG MONTHS. Now for some that might not seem like a lot, but for me, that’s eternity. And on Sunday night, August the 27th, I will finally get rid of this bug once and for all. And I don’t know how far I will go to finish him off. “Mean” Gene, this Sunday at AngleSlam, you may see a side of me you never saw before. (The camera does a close-up of Tha Puerto Rican.) PRL Thunderkid, it’s just going to be you and me this Sunday. No Popick, no Lightning Crew. Just you and me inside THIS STEEL CAGE! PRL starts shaking the cage. THA PUERTO RICAN You like that sound, Thunderkid? Well, you’re going to hear a lot more of that sound on Sunday, because I am going to throw you into the cage again and again and again! Let me make this simple for you, TK: I WILL HURT YOU on Sunday. It ain’t going to be pretty. There won’t be no flowers and candy, no bunny rabbits or puppies in this match. There will be bloodshed…but it ain’t going to be from me! Popick stands next to PRL and nods approvingly. The camera does close-ups of several parts of the steel cage while PRL continues speaking. PRL Thunderkid, this will be the toughest match of your career. You’ve been in your share of No Holds Barred, Hardcore, Sunday Detention Matches, but you’ve never been in something like this. Nothing can save you, Thunderkid. Nothing, except saying, “I quit!” And how embarrassing would that be? How embarrassing would it be to say, “I quit!” in front of all these fans? In front of the all the OAOAST wrestlers in the back? In front of all the millions of people watching on TV? (The camera returns to a close-up of PRL.) PRL (CONT’D) How would you feel if you were forced to say those two magic words because the power of Tha Puerto Rican was just too strong for you? I bet you would feel ashamed, embarrassed, humiliated, just really bloody awful. Well Thunderkid, it’s not a scenario. It’s what will happen this Sunday! You WILL say, “I quit!” You WILL be humiliated! And you WILL know what everyone else knows, that Tha Puerto Rican IS the Corporate Champ, that Tha Puerto Rican IS the greatest Puerto Rican athlete ever, and that Tha Puerto Rican IS the greatest professional wrestler of all-time! STEPHEN JOSEPH YES! HA! HA! THA PUERTO RICAN Tha Puerto Rican is going to lay the smackdown on your candy ass! I am going to do whatever it takes to make you say “I Quit!” because there is NO CHANCE IN HELL that those words will EVER come out of Tha Puerto Rican’s mouth! NOT A CHANCE IN HELL! “MEAN” GENE OKUERLAND PRL, the last two times you were in a Steel Cage Match in the OAOAST, you were hurt very badly. When you took on “Shooter” Jay Darring in the third fall of the Three Stages Of Hell Match for the OAOAST North American and Puerto Rican Championships at Licensed To Pin 2003, you were hit in the head with barbed wire, you were electrocuted, and you fell 20 feet below through the Spanish announcer’s table! When you fought Panther at AngleMania IV, you dove off the top of the cage to deliver the Corporate Elbow Drop to Panther. You did suplexes off the turnbuckles using the cage for help. After the match was over, you had to receive 15 stitches in your head! Are you up to the task, P.R.? Are you ready to have another Steel Cage Match? THA PUERTO RICAN YES! What you didn’t mention, “Mean” Gene”, is that I came out of both of those matches as the winner! While I was deemed unable to compete in the match against “Shooter” Jay Darring, I got the last laugh because I became Puerto Rican Champion once again and Jay had no idea that I did. And then there’s my match with Panther. The match in which, not only did I beat Panther, I RETIRED him! That’s right. Tha Puerto Rican RETIRED Panther! Panther hasn’t been seen since AngleMania IV, over a year ago! And why? Because Tha Puerto Rican kicked his ass so badly in that match, that he never wants to show his face in the One And Only AngleSault Thread ever again! And Thunderkid, if you’re not careful, I’ll retire you too this Sunday. Bad things have happened to guys who crossed my path. Look at The Mad Cappa, “Shooter” Jay Darring, Panther, Leon Rodez, Spanish Fly, John “Rock Hard” Brickston, Blurricane, K-NESS, and Colombian Heat for proof. I’ve hurt all of them before. Badly. And I’ll do the same to you at AngleSlam. The camera pans back to show PRL, Popick, and “Mean” Gene Okuerland inside the steel cage. PRL Are you ready Thunderkid? Are you ready for your toughest match yet? Or are you scared? You’re scared aren’t ya? You’ve got fear in your eyes. You’re terrified. And you know why, and I know why. Because you know I can beat you. I’ve done it once before. I can do it again. AND I WILL. You will scream in pain on Sunday. You will bleed on Sunday. You will be HURT on Sunday. I am going to make you say, “I quit!” in front of the entire world. It’s going to be the worst night of your life, Thunderkid. Tha Puerto Rican is going to make sure of it. (The camera goes back into the ring, with another close-up of Tha Puerto Rican.) PRL (CONT’D) Things are going my way, Thunderkid. I’ve got friends who’ll always have my back. (Popick slaps PRL on the shoulder) I’ve got a girl who will love me forever. I’ve got a contract for a World Title shot that I can use whenever I want. All that’s left is to beat you, Thunderkid. To make you say those two words no wrestler wants to say. This will be The Final Confrontation between you and me, Thunderkid. And in The Final Confrontation, ME, not YOU, will come out on top. You are mine, TK! I’ve got you right where I want you! You are FINISHED! At AngleSlam, I will be the winner! On Sunday, August 27, 2006 at OAOAST AngleSlam, Thunderkid will fall at the hands of the most electrifying man in professional wrestling! Because you will never, AND THA PUERTO RICAN MEANS NEVER!!!-hear me say the words…(in a whisper): “I quit”. PR takes a moment to “smell the electricity”. THA PUERTO RICAN (Whispering) The champ…has…spokun. PRL does the Corporate Eyebrow for the camera, which turns into a sneer. “MEAN” GENE OKUERLAND “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican. Will he be victorious Sunday night at AngleSlam? THA PUERTO RICAN Yes he will. STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK And that’s the truth, Ruth! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! (FADE) And since you can't get enough of them, here's ANOTHER segment featuring PR and SJ! The camera cuts to The Lightning Crew dressing room where we see The Lightning Crew and Stephen Joseph Popick standing. STEPHEN JOSEPH (fuming~! with DESTROCITY~!) What was that all about last week. I've been trying to reach you all week via your cell phone, pager, home phone, work phone, your 3 girlfriend's various phone, the LC, and no one returns my call. Puerto, are you intentially screwing with our arrangement? our friendship? "THE CORPORATE CHAMPION" THA PUERTO RICAN Look. What I did last week wasn't intentional. It was all in the heat of the moment. You know very well how much the OAOAST World Heavyweight Title means to me. I was going to do whatever it takes to win. You should know that better than anyone else! Remember when we fought each other at November Reign last year? Stephen Joseph Oh, I remember beating you to retain the title at November Reign. I also remember that I gave you that title shot because of our friendship, because you deserved it. But this? Tossing me out of the ring and jeopardizing your change at a World Title Shot? I've had my reign Puerto. It's time for yours. But man, shoot...you don't (SJ acts begrudged). PRL I'm sorry if what I did upset you. But, look at it this way. PRL holds up the contract. THA PUERTO RICAN I now have a guaranteed title shot whenever I wish! HAHAHA! STEPHEN JOSEPH (snaps to attention) It's NOT a fucking JOKE Ed. This is your SHOT, your one SHOT. You've been here for years, putting on the best matches, the best promos. You're the Deker Jeter of this organization, the Most Valuable Player. You're the Rudi Johnson of the wrestling world: dependable, but taken for granted. You have deserved a run with the Belt for years, and politics and certain people have prevented you from getting your deserved run. Did you see how i got my run? Those same people ran off, leaving this company in shambles, and at the last moment, got Trump to put me in a match, because he had NO OTHER OPTIONS. That's the only way they let me have the title, and that's the only way they'll give you a run with the title. We have to make sure that there are NO OTHER OPTIONS TPR The day will come, Popick. The day will come when I use this contract. And on that day, I will NOT let you down, because on that day, I, "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican, will become the World Heavyweight Champion! I want to wait until the right time, though. I want to be 100% sure that this contract will not go to waste. I want to make sure that the match I use this contract for will be the match I win the World Title. And until that day comes, I will see to it, that I give it my all. I will bring my "A" game in every match I have. I will seek to push myself to the limit. I want to be ready for the day. I want to be ready to be World Champion! STEPHEN JOSEPH You will be ready, as long as you listen to me. You will be ready, as long as you trust in your Crew. You will be ready, so long as you believe in yourself. And when the OAOAST presents itself with that next opportunity, where the MILLIONS... THA PUERTO RICAN AAAAANNNDDD MILLIONS... STEPHEN JOSEPH of Puerto Ricans will clamor, riot, and throw themselves in front of tanks to see you as their champion...oh, MY BROTHER, you will be ready! MR. BORICUA TESTIFY! (Puerto and Stephen give Mr. Boricua a weird look). THA PUERTO RICAN Stephen, I'll always have your back, just like you've had mine these past two years. I am honored to call you my manager and "Career Consulant". You have done a magnificent job of guiding my career, helping me become the longest reigning 24/7 Champion in OAOAST history, and helping me win this contract. I'll always be by your side. It's the least I can do. STEPHEN JOSEPH And lastly Ed, when you do win the World Title, I only ask 1 thing of you. Give me that first Title shot. OAOAST will never, ever, let me see that belt up close again, so you're my only shot, my only chance to have one more dance with glory. I just want to WRESTLE for that title one...last...time. THA PUERTO RICAN Of course! When I win the World Title, you will have the first crack at it. It'll be my way of saying "Thank You" for all your help. You hear that Lightning Crew? When I win the World Title, Stephen Joseph Popick will get the first title shot! Is that clear? The Lightning Crew all say "YES!" and nod. PRL Good. STEPHEN JOSEPH Okay. I think we're vibing. PRL So we're cool again? STEPHEN JOSEPH Cool as cucumbers. PRL Cool. Tha Puerto Rican shakes Popick's hand, and then pulls him in for a hug. THA PUERTO RICAN Glad to see that we're on the same page again. STEPHEN JOSEPH So, did you sign the contract? THA PUERTO RICAN Not yet. But I've been carrying it with me the whole week. POPICK You've had the contract for a week, and haven't signed it yet? PRL Yep. MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ It's true. He sleeps with the contract next to him in bed. STEPHEN JOSEPH You don't have sex on top of the contract do you? ::Lindsay blushes:: Oh. Oh man I gotta hurl. PRL Okay. I'll sign it now. Got a pen? Popick hands PRL a pen, as he buries his head in a trash can. PR Thank you. Tha Puerto Rican heads to a table where he plops the contract down, and signs his name on it. Popick wipes his mouth off and stands back up. THA PUERTO RICAN And...there we go! I've got my name on it now! HAHA! PRL kisses the contract. And then hands the pen back to Popick. Popick drops the pen immediately, mouthing "EWWW" PRL Now to put it safely in the briefcase. BORICUA! Mr. Boricua stands up at attention. PRL Give me the briefcase. Mr. Boricua grunts and snorts as he hands Tha Puerto Rican a black briefcase. PRL unlocks the briefcase. THA PUERTO RICAN And there we--hey. WHAT THE HELL?! PRL opens the briefcase to find a bunch of underwear inside it. PRL is confused. THA PUERTO RICAN Boricua, what the hell is this?! MR. BORICUA You. Said. It. Was. A. BRIEF-Case. *BA-DUM-TISH!* THA PUERTO RICAN Boricua...that's not what a briefcase is for. MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ Hey, these are mine! Lindsay pulls out a black thong and a pink thong from the briefcase. MR. BORICUA Oops. Sorry. Mr. Boricua blushes. Tha Puerto Rican throws all the underwear onto the floor. THA PUERTO RICAN Okay. Now then. PRL places the signed contract inside the briefcase. He then shuts the case. PRL There. Now I'm one step closer to my goal, the World Heavyweight Title. Popick, it's good to know that we're seeing eye-to-eye again. STEPHEN JOSEPH We are. And we're going to take this opportunity seriously. I'm going to take out some insurance policies on this contract. We're not going to let anyone have a shot at this. Because this Puerto, this contract, is YOUR future. PRL All right. Well, I gotta go get ready for my match. Once again, this will all work out in the end. What happened last week will payoff in the future. POPICK Yeah. It will payoff. Tha Puerto Rican smiles. PRL opens the door, and The Lightning Crew leave their dressing room. Stephen Joseph watches them leave and then looks at the briefcase. He picks it up and stares at it for a few seconds. He then mouths the following words, "....For me." FADE OUT Commercial break
KingPK Posted August 25, 2006 Author Report Posted August 25, 2006 And now, it’s time for the OAOAST BACKTRACKER, brought to you by LUGZ. Get tough! Get LUGZ! HELDDOWN~! LAST WEEK The crowd boos loudly. Drek Stone circles Thunderkid, who is on the mat. TK is breathing hard and perspiring. Drek taunts Thunderkid, kicking him in the head. He smiles evilly, looking to finish this match once and for all. “DREK STONE SUCKS! DREK STONE SUCKS!” Drek picks up Thunderkid, but is distracted by Alfdogg, who is standing on the ring apron. Alfdogg yells at Drek Stone, who yells back. COLE Huh? What’s going on? COACH Yeah, why is Alfdogg doing this? Stone and Alf get into a heated argument. Nick Patrick tells Alfdogg to get off the ring apron. He does. Drek Stone goes back to picking up Thunderkid. BUT IS ROLLED UP BY THUNDERKID INTO AN INSIDE CRADLE! NICK PATRICK COUNTS! 1… 2… 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *DING DING DING* (6:10) “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE Thunderkid pinned Drek Stone! Thunderkid pinned Drek Stone! Thunderkid just beat the #1 Contender to the OAOAST Title! (CLIP) Drek Stone sits up, stunned, and then PISSED OFF. Thunderkid gets up and celebrates while the crowd cheers. PRL is angry, but Alfdogg celebrates on the outside. BUFFER Here are your winners…ALFDOGG AND THUNDERKIIIIIIIIIIDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD! COACH What a surprise move by Thunderkid! He caught Drek Stone off guard, and pinned him to get the win for him and Alfdogg! COLE Drek Stone just got pinned 10 days before his match with Alfdogg at AngleSlam! That’s got to really piss him off! Drek is cussing up a storm in the ring. This has been the OAOAST BACKTRACKER. COLE We're back here on HeldDOWN, where Thunderkid will be in action next, but first, he had these pre-recorded comments regarding his match at AngleSlam. *cut to Thunderkid, standing in front of a dark blue backdrop with his name on it.* THUNDERKID Oh man, just three days away from AngleSlam, I can't wait! Just three days away, PRL, until you and I tie up inside a steel cage! You and your flunkies have done all in your power to make my life a living hell over the past few months...but this Sunday, inside that steel cage, what goes around...comes around! That's right, it all comes back to you. And now, facing a man who has a reserved shot at the championship of the World...this is the biggest night of my career. And it will be the greatest MOMENT of my career, PRL, when I look down into you bloody face...the pain and fear in your eyes...and the quivering in your lips, as they open up and remove those words... ...I QUIT. *cut back to Sofa Central* COLE Thunderkid obviously very determined and ready for AngleSlam, saying this is the biggest match of his career! And we're about to see some of that determination right now! Let's go to the ring! The lights go down in the arena. Smoke appears in the entryway as “God Of Thunder” by KISS starts playing. The crowd cheers loudly. The entrance doors slide open, revealing yellow strobe lights. Thunderkid comes out onto the entrance stage to a loud pop from the crowd. TK raises his hands in the air, acknowledging the pop, and then starts walking down the entrance ramp, slapping hands with the fans. *DING DING DING* MICHAEL BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall with a thirty-minute TV time limit. Introducing first. Coming to the ring at this time. From Green Bay, Wisconsin. Weighing in at 255 lbs. He is a former OAOAST North American Champion…THUNDERRRRRRRRRKIIIIIIDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD! The crowd pops. TK is still walking to the ring. The camera cuts to Thunderkid’s opponent already in the ring. He is about 6’4”. He is a slightly overweight man with graying hair. He has blue eyes, a handlebar mustache, a mullet, and a beer gut. He is wearing wristtape on his wrists, long blue tights with red lines down the sides, and black boots. BUFFER And his opponent. From Mexico City, Mexico. Weighing in at 285 lbs. GROUCHO ELLLLLLLLLLLL PAAAAAAAAAAACCCCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Groucho El Pacho raises his hands, but doesn’t get much of a response. Thunderkid enters the ring. COLE Thunderkid set for action just 72 hours away from his big showdown with Tha Puerto Rican at AngleSlam in an “I Quit!” Steel Cage Match! COACH Thunderkid has got to keep himself in top physical shape for a match like that, which is why it’s good that he’s wrestling here tonight. That “I Quit!” Match inside the cage is going to take a toll on him, both physically and mentally! COLE I know that. And I’m sure Thunderkid knows that. But he hates Tha Puerto Rican so much that he’s willing to take the risk just to make him say, “I Quit!” It's going to be The Final Confrontation between PRL and Thunderkid. TK raises his hands and garners more cheers. Referee Charles Robinson checks on Thunderkid and Groucho as the lights go back on in the arena. Charles Robinson then checks on Grouch El Pacho, and then calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* THUNDERKID VS. GROUCHO EL PACHO “God Of Thunder” by KISS dies down. Thunderkid and El Pacho circle each other. They lock up. Groucho grabs a headlock on Thunderkid. He cinches the hold. However, Thunderkid pushes him towards the ropes, and then shoves El Pacho into the opposite ropes. Thunderkid follows, and brings El Pacho down with a shoulderblock. TK bounces off the ropes, leaps over Pacho, and then bounces off the opposite ropes, and then does a legdrop onto El Pacho’s throat! COLE Thunderkid in control early on. TK goes for a cover. And gets a two count. Thunderkid grabs El Pacho, gets one knee, and starts hammering into his head with right jabs over and over again. COACH Is Thunderkid so focused on Tha Puerto Rican that he sees PRL in Groucho El Pacho? COLE I don’t know, Coach. But it’s possible. Thunderkid gets up and starts stomping on Groucho El Pacho. ‘Kid picks up Groucho, and forearms him in the face. TK whips Groucho into a turnbuckle—Groucho reverses—and TK hits the turnbuckle. Groucho charges forward…right into an elbow from TK! Groucho staggers, so Thunderkid heads to the second rope and waits for Groucho to come near him. Double axehandle! Groucho is down! Instead of going for the cover, ‘Kid picks up Groucho El Pacho, and whips him into the ropes. Thunderkid puts his head down, so El Pacho kicks him in the face, and then clotheslines him down to the mat! COLE Oh! Groucho El Pacho with his first offensive move of the night! The crowd boos. Groucho El Pacho burps, and then stomps on Thunderkid. The crowd boos some more. He turns Thunderkid over, so that he can stomp his back. COLE Groucho El Pacho with some brutalizing kicks to Thunderkid’s back! COACH This could affect him on Sunday! “THUN-DER-KID!” “THUN-DER-KID!” “THUN-DER-KID!” “THUN-DER-KID!” As the crowd chants for TK, Groucho stomps on him. He tells the crowd to “SHUT UP ESSE!” and then burps. Groucho picks up Thunderkid and punches him in the face with a right jab. Then another. Then another. Pacho whips TK into a turnbuckle. TK hits the turnbuckle back first! El Pacho follows that up with a clothesline on Thunderkid! Groucho El Pacho punches Thunderkid on the turnbuckle. He then kicks him in the gut with his right boot. COLE Groucho really laying into Thunderkid! COACH I know someone who is happy about that. COLE Who? COACH …Tha Puerto Rican. COLE Oh. Groucho El Pacho continues beating on Thunderkid as another “THUN-DER-KID!” chant starts up. Groucho chokes Thunderkid with his right boot. The referee sees this, and Groucho stops at the count of four. Thunderkid holds his throat, gasping for air. The crowd boos Groucho, who is arguing with the referee. Groucho El Pacho picks up Thunderkid. After a punch to the face, he Irish whips TK into the ropes. Groucho puts his head down, and, this time, Thunderkid kicks HIM in the face, and follows with a clothesline! COLE Thunderkid back in control! Thunderkid picks up Groucho El Pacho, and nails him with forearms to the face as the crowd is starting to get hot. He whips Groucho into a turnbuckle…Groucho reverses. TK hits the turnbuckle. Groucho charges forward right into a Thunderkid boot! Thunderkid gets off the turnbuckle and grabs Groucho El Pacho. He lifts him up in a vertical suplex position…and then drops him with the Falcon Arrow! COLE Falcon Arrow by Thunderkid! COACH He really is getting ready for this Sunday! Thunderkid picks up the stunned Groucho El Pacho. He whips him into the ropes. Belly-to-Back suplex! Cover. 1… 2… GROUCHO PUTS HIS SHOULDER UP! COLE Close, but not yet! Thunderkid gets up. He picks up Groucho. Groucho punches him in the stomach! Another punch, and Groucho is able to get up by his own accord. He kicks TK in the stomach. “THUN-DER-KID!” “THUN-DER-KID!” Groucho El Pacho burps, and then scoops Thunderkid up for a bodyslam. However, Thunderkid slips behind him, kicks him in the gut, bending him over. So, Thunderkid bounces off the ropes, and nails Groucho El Pacho with a Bicycle Kick! COLE What a move by TK! Thunderkid gets up and yells. The crowd cheers. Groucho El Pacho is almost out of it. Thunderkid picks up Groucho, and places him underneath his right arm. ‘Kid puts Groucho’s right arm over his head. He then grabs Groucho’s tights and lifts him up. THUNDERBOLT DDT~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111111111111111111111111111111 COLE Thunderbolt DDT! Thunderkid’s finisher! COACH Forget about it. He’s got him! The crowd cheers loudly as Thunderkid covers Groucho El Pacho. Referee Charles Robinson counts. 1… 2… 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *DING DING DING* (3:12) COLE And the match is over! “God Of Thunder” by KISS starts playing. Thunderkid gets up and gets his hands raised by the referee. BUFFER Here is your winner…THUNDERRRRRRKKKKIIIIIIIDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD! Thunderkid stops to catch his breath. Charles Robinson checks on Groucho El Pacho. The crowd continues cheering. COLE Thunderkid picks up the win as he heads into AngleSlam Sunday night! COACH But the Thunderbolt DDT won’t do him any good on Sunday! The only way to win is to make PRL say, “I quit!” That’s it! COLE Thunderkid is no stranger to big matches, but this Sunday at AngleSlam, he may be in for the biggest match of his career! Thunderkid gets on a second turnbuckle and raises his hands in the air. Charles Robinson helps Groucho El Pacho to the back as “God Of Thunder” continues playing. Suddenly, “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican rolls into the ring. He waits for Thunderkid to turn around…and then hits him with a Rock-style punch to the face! COLE Tha Puerto Rican is here! PRL hits TK with some more Rock punches as “God Of Thunder” by KISS dies down. But then, Thunderkid fights back with punches of his own to PRL’s face! The two engage in a slugfest! Back and forth they go! COLE We’re getting a preview of what’s to come this Sunday! Thunderkid gets the better of the exchange. He whips PRL into the ropes—NO!—PRL reverses. Grabs a hold of Thunderkid. LATIN SLAM!!! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” COLE And Tha Puerto Rican just brought Thunderkid down to the mat with that Latin Slam! COACH He just laid the smackdown on Thunderkid! Thunderkid is on the mat, knocked out thanks to the Latin Slam. PRL gets up and laughs manically. The crowd boos loudly. COLE That move may have knocked out Thunderkid tonight, but it won’t be enough to give PRL the win on Sunday! He must make Thunderkid say “I quit!” if he wants to be the winner at AngleSlam! COACH And if what we just saw is any indication, that maybe easier than I thought. Tha Puerto Rican taunts Thunderkid, giving him the “You can’t see me!” hand gesture. He spits in Thunderkid’s face, and then poses in the center of the ring. “P.R. SUCKS!” “P.R. SUCKS!” “P.R. SUCKS!” “P.R. SUCKS!” COLE These fans letting PR know that they think he sucks! Puerto Rican laughs off the chants. TK is still knocked out in the center of the ring. PR gets on a second turnbuckle and raises his hands in the air, the McMahon SNEER~! etched on his face. The crowd continues showering PRL with boos. COLE Is this going to be the result on Sunday? Will Thunderkid be able to make PRL say, “I quit!”? Or will it be PRL who makes Thunderkid say those two words? COACH I just don’t know Michael. I can’t predict who the winner’s going to be. COLE Well don’t predict. Wait until AngleSlam, this Sunday, only on pay-per-view to find out! Tha Puerto Rican “smells the electricity”. He then does the Corporate Eyebrow. The camera cuts to Thunderkid lying on the mat, and then back to Tha Puerto Rican, still on the second turnbuckle, laughing and smiling evilly. The crowd boos. FADE TO BLACK COMMERCIALS COLE Folks, up next we've got....wait a minute. Without waiting for music or lighting, Otaku II walks out onto the stage, armed with a microphone. The crowd cheers at his appearance, but Otaku seems to have something on his mind as he walks down the ramp and gets into the ring. He speaks: Otaku: Well...Angleslam is this Sunday...and Brock Ausstin....you and I, we just don't get along, it's as simple as that. I hate you, you hate me, and we both want one thing. The OAOAST Heartland Championship. So....come on out, Brock, I have a proposition for you. Unlike Otaku, Brock decides try to psyche out his enemy as fog rises from the ramp and “Punishment” begins playing. Brock, followed by his manager, Rick Heyross walks out and down to the ring and gets nose to nose with the Champ. Brock: What did you have in mind, Chump? Otaku: Very original, Brock, I always knew you were a great intellect. But I have an idea so brilliant even YOU can grasp it. Y'see, from where I'm standing, the rules are just getting in the way of us settling things, so I say we throw the rules out the door! 3 words, Brock, FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE, what do ya say, big man? Heyross is throwing a fit, saying “No way, no way, you can't risk your future like that!” until Brock just gives him the nastiest look you can imagine before looking back at Otaku. Brock: I say yes, Champ..... The crowd roars and Otaku smiles before nodding at the Current Big Thing and getting out of the ring, mouthing “See you Sunday...” while Brock calms his manager down from a near heart attack. COACH So another grudge match gets a stipulation. Nobody around here believes in doing things straight anymore? COLE I don't. (Pause) ..... COACH ....... COLE ANYWAY.....Folks, we have a special treat coming up for you next. As you know, Longdogger Pete has challenged Peter Knight to a Miami Mayhem match at AngleSlam. COACH Big deal. COLE Well, we now have details of the exact stipulations entailed in that match, created by Longdogger Pete and first taking place in the SWF. A Miami Mayhem match takes place on Miami Beach itself, with no disqualification and no countout - and the only way to win the match is to toss your opponent into the Atlantic Ocean! COACH You're freaking kidding me?! COLE No - the instructions I have here are quite clear. Now as for the surprise - through an agreement with the SWF, we've managed to acquire permission to re-air tonight the very first Miami Mayhem match, from back in 2001, pitting Longdogger Pete against Triple E! COACH Wow. I wonder how much that set us back. COLE Erm - $9.95. COACH What? $9.95? That's it? How is that possible? COLE Uh - "Smarks Junior League Greatest Hits, Volume 2." DVD on sale at Blockbuster. Anyway, here it is! Miami Mayhem VI this Sunday at AngleSlam! Miami Mayhem I - right now! ------------------------------------------------------- The camera pans across the incredible Madison Square Garden in New York City to reveal the thousands of screaming fans that have gathered for the final edition of IGNJL Wrath, settling as usual at the image of the two men sitting at the commentary table. "Welcome back to IGNJL Wrath, folks!" one of them shouts into his headset. "I'm Bobby Riley alongside the Exploding Chicken, and if you're just joining us, we've got a hell of a show still to come!" "That's right, Riley!" exclaims the announcer known as the Exploding Chicken. "The vacant European and World titles are both up for grabs tonight! We will see two new champions crowned before the night is over! KABOOM!" "Sounds like a great time to be watching Wrath!" Riley comments. "Well, coming up next we have-" Riley's sentence is cut off as the lights suddenly go dark, except for the IGNtron, which lights up with footage from a live camera feed. "Miami" by Will Smith begins playing throughout the arena, causing most of the audience to erupt in cheers. "What's going on?" Riley asks, but he doesn't have to wait long for the answer as a face appears on the IGNtron-Jin Kasma's! The IGNJL lieutenant commissioner stands at the edge of a beautiful beach, holding up a microphone. The ocean breeze ruffles Kasma's hair, and the ocean waves contrast in color with the endless sand of the beach. "Hello, everyone!" Kasma begins. "Lt. Commissioner Jin Kasma here on location in Miami Beach, Florida! As you can see, the weather's absolutely beautiful out here, and in just a few moments I'm going to be calling the 'Miami Mayhem' match pitting Triple E against hometown hero Longdogger Pete!" A small group of people, mostly teenagers in swimsuits and summer clothing, has gathered behind Kasma, and they cheer upon mention of Longdogger Pete's name. "As you can see, we've attracted some attention down here," Kasma continues, "and it looks like LDP has a huge following down here in his hometown of Miami! "Well, we're going to go over the rules of this very unique matchup one more time," Kasma goes on. "Both competitors will begin out here on the beach! This match has NO disqualifications, NO countouts, NO holds barred, and absolutely NO limits! To win the match, you must toss your opponent INTO the Atlantic Ocean! That's it!" Kasma looks up at a set of wooden steps that lead out to the beach from a nearby parking lot. A large man is walking down the steps toward Kasma! "It looks like our first competitor has arrived!" says Kasma. "Introducing first, from Juneau, Alaska, weighing in at 245 pounds, the Entirely Enormous Eskimo-TRIPLE E!" Triple E arrives on the beach and grabs the microphone out of the hands of Kasma. "All right, Pete. You got what you wanted. You dragged me all the way down here, and now we're going to finish this! Get your ass down here!" Triple E hands the microphone back to Kasma and begins jumping up and down in the sand, preparing for the match. The gathered fans boo the End of Days member. Out comes Longdogger Pete! Pete wears a Hawaiian floral print shirt, with the top two buttons undone to reveal his upper chest, which is covered in hair. Instead of the jeans, Pete wears jean shorts to account for the summer weather. The audience goes wild for their hometown hero as he walks down the wooden staircase onto the beach. Kasma takes the microphone again and announces, "Introducing, from MIAMI, FLORIDA, weighing in at 270 pounds, the #1 contender to the European title--LONGDOGGER PETE!" Triple E runs over to Pete, pummeling the Miami native with a series of punches, causing Pete to stagger back. Triple E grabs Pete and drops him into the sand with an early DDT! "Well, this match is underway," reports Kasma, "and Triple E taking an early advantage here on the sands of Miami Beach!" Triple E stands back a few feet as Pete gets up, and Triple E charges! Pete counters with a drop toe hold to send Triple E into the sand! Triple E spits out mouthfuls of sand as he tries to get back to his feet, but he steps in a pocket of soft sand, and Pete is able to push him over and back down! "The Eskimo seems out of his element here," Kasma comments. "I guess you could call this home-field advantage for Longdogger Pete." Pete picks Triple E up again and tries to Irish whip him-though Triple E doesn't travel far due to the sand. So Pete catches up to him, picks him up for a scoop slam, and tosses him into some nearby foliage! "Wow!" yells Kasma, following behind the two wrestlers, microphone in hand. "Pete has just tossed Triple E into a pile of palm fronds! It looks like this match may be leaving the beach!" Sure enough, Pete grabs Triple E by the hair and walks off, dragging him away from the beach toward a nearby open-air beachside restaurant shrouded in palmetto bushes. The audience tries to follow, but a special contingent of Miami Beach police officers hold them at bay, keeping them from getting too close to the wrestlers. Pete gets to the restaurant and slams Triple E's head down onto one of the tables, scaring away the two citizens that had previously occupied that table. Pete grabs a glass of ice water that still sits on the table, dumps it over Triple E's head, and then, shockingly, breaks the glass over Triple E's head! "OH, MY GOD!" shouts Kasma. "Pete's taking this match to a new level! We've got ourselves Hardcore Mayhem!" The remaining patrons of the restaurant scatter as Pete whips Triple E into another table, sending both he and the table toppling over to the concrete floor! Drinks and plates make loud clanging noises as they fall to the floor, knocked off the tumbling table. Pete hurries over and quickly pummels Triple E with an elbow drop to increase the punishment, then lays into him with several hard rights to the chest. Suddenly Triple E shoves Pete hard, and forces the larger man off him. Triple E gets back up and kicks Pete in the stomach, then picks up the X Force 9 member, setting him up with Pete's head between Triple E's legs in powerbomb fashion. Then Triple E drops back, slamming Pete's head into the floor! "FROSTBITE!" exclaims Kasma. "Triple E hit the Frostbite powerbomb on Longdogger Pete! It would seem that the Snowman still has some power here on sunny Florida!" Pete tries to get up, but he is dazed, and thus starts to stumble off in a random direction. Triple E follows as Pete wanders to the other end of the restaurant and off to the sidewalk by a busy street. Pete seems aware enough not to wander out into traffic, however, and heads off down the sidewalk, trying to catch his breath. Triple E, in hot pursuit, catches up to Pete, grabbing him by the head and slamming him THROUGH the door of the next building! The door caves in, and both Triple E and Pete tumble to the floor of a small corridor that ends at the entrance to an elevator. Kasma catches up to them, coming into the building himself. "Well, it looks like we've entered a high-rise beachside condominium complex, and Triple E is really laying into Pete here!" Triple E gets up and tries to whip Pete again, but Pete reverses the move, sending Triple E into the open elevator! Pete follows behind, and a cameraman manages to squeeze in just before the doors slide shut. Pete hits Triple E with a knife-edge chop, sending Triple E against one wall, hitting some of the buttons in the process, and the elevator begins to move! Triple E pushes back at Pete and strikes with a few knife-edge chops of his own. Pete staggers back to the door of the elevator, which opens a few seconds later, depositing Pete into the corridor outside the elevator on a higher floor. Now unsure of which floor the match is taking place on, the cameraman shrugs and follows Pete and Triple E as the melee ensues down the new corridor. Pete grabs hold of Triple E from behind and hits a German suplex right through the door to someone's condo! Triple E falls to the floor as yet another door caves in. A seventy-year-old woman inhabiting this particular condo shrieks in terror, horrified at the sudden entrance of two two-hundred-forty-plus pound wrestlers and one diligent cameraman. The woman flees into her closet as the fight rages on. Triple E lunges at Pete, who counters the attempted running move, reversing into a powerslam into the living room couch. Pete then quickly climbs to the top of the couch, smiles, and holds up his fingers in an "L" shape, even though the only spectator is the cameraman! Pete leaps, hitting the Longdogger legdrop on Triple E-from the top of a couch! Triple E recoils in pain, though not nearly as much pain as he would have if the move were performed over a hard surface as normal. Pete and Triple E climb off the couch, and Pete continues his advantage by tossing Triple E across the living room. Pete sets Triple E up in suplex position, and hits, performing a belly-to-belly suplex on Triple E, putting him through a closed sliding glass door! The door shatters loudly as Pete and Triple E tumble out onto a balcony. Looking down, the cameraman discerns that the match has progressed to the fourth floor. The only items on the small balcony are a pair of lounge chairs and millions of glass fragments. Triple E tries to stand, but he is covered in blood and glass shards from his flight through the glass door. Triple E manages to make it to his feet, but so does Pete, and the two begin exchanging hard rights on the small balcony. Pete strikes with right after right, but each punch fails to stagger Triple E or is countered by the smaller man's fists, matching strength vs. strength. Finally Pete leaps at Triple E, dangerously trying to knock Triple E off the balcony, but Triple E reverses with a Samoan drop! Pete is dropped onto the railing, hovering mere centimeters from the edge of the balcony! Triple E, thinking fast, grabs and folds up one of the lounge chairs, then strikes Pete with it! Pete loses his balance and falls off the edge of the balcony! Two hundred seventy pounds of Longdogger Pete drop like a bullet through midair! SPLASH! Pete lands in a swimming pool far below. No sounds comes from the swimming pool for several moments. Suddenly Kasma comes running around the corner, where he had been waiting outside the entrance to the condominium. "OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! PETE HAS JUST FALLEN FOUR STORIES OFF A BALCONY! PETE COULD HAVE BEEN KILLED! This is insane! This is just madness! I've got to see if Pete's all right!" Kasma throws down the microphone and leaps into the pool. Moments later, Kasma comes back up out of the water, dragging out Pete's body. A pair of medics help Kasma to lift Pete out of the pool. Kasma looks back up at the balcony, but Triple E has disappeared. The medics look over Pete, who lies unconscious at the edge of the pool, then start to lift him into a stretcher. No! Pete sits up in the stretcher! Pete appears woozy, mumbling small phrases like "What's goin' on?" Kasma tries to get Pete to sit back down, but to no avail-Pete climbs out of the stretcher and starts walking off-only to be met by a spear from Triple E, who has come back down and around the corner of the condominium! Pete gets back up to his feet and hobbles off, then, incredibly, breaks into a sprint, using the last of his strength to get away from Triple E! Triple E follows closely behind as Pete dashes back across the beach. Pete climbs up on a wooden pier that spans the end of the beach and stretches out into the Atlantic Ocean. Pete gets up on the pier and continues his sprint, Triple E staying on pace the entire way. Finally Pete stops as the pier ends at some sort of marina, where several boats are lined up. Pete jumps onto one boat in particular, a small, sleek red speedboat where the owner is aboard attempting to start it. "Let's go!" shouts Pete to the startled driver. "Start it up! Now!" The driver doesn't hesitate upon hearing orders barked at him from a two-hundred-seventy pound man. The driver starts up the speedboat, and just before it pulls away from the pier, Triple E reaches the end of the pier and performs a dramatic leap from the pier into the now-moving speedboat. Triple E lands hard in the speedboat, jostling the craft as it zips along the ocean surface. The bloodied and battered Triple E ignores his injuries to pummel once more at Longdogger Pete, determined to finish the match at all costs. Triple E hits Pete with a superkick, knocking him to the edge of the boat and shaking everyone once more with the impact of the move. Triple E tries to shove Pete off the boat to finish the job, but Pete just barely ducks, and Triple E hovers at the edge for a moment before catching himself and spinning around to face Pete. Pete hits with a hard right, and then a strong kick to the midsection, then grabs Triple E's head and drops it into the bottom of the boat-Longdogger Clogger! Pete hits the Clogger on Triple E-into the bottom of a speeding watercraft! Pete lifts Triple E up one more time, then with all his might, picks him up over his head-a military press! Pete performs a move he has never done before! Pete holds the still Triple E high above his head for a couple of moments, and then hurls him headlong into the ocean! Pete cheers and whoops excitedly while the boat slows down to turn around. "Well, there you have it, folks," reports Jin Kasma, who had remained on the beach during the melee. "An incredible Miami Mayhem match resulting in a victory for Longdogger Pete-but both competitors are badly injured, and we'll try to get a report for you once we've finished fishing Triple E out of the ocean! Folks, we'll be right back with IGNJL Wrath, and your regular announcers, Bobby Riley and Exploding Chicken, after this commercial break!" ---------------------------------------------------------------- COACH Ok, so it's a falls count anywhere match on a beach. I say again: big deal. COLE Were you paying attention to that action? I happen to know that Peter Knight has been studying these Miami Mayhem matches so that he can try to beat Longdogger on his own turf. COACH And why are you so sure of that? COLE .....because he came up to me at that Blockbuster and said "If that's the last copy, you're getting a copy of 'IntenseZone's Greatest Hits' shoved up your ass." COACH They found enough of those to fill a DVD? CROWD OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. COLE Alright, let's take a break. Commercial break
KingPK Posted August 25, 2006 Author Report Posted August 25, 2006 We go backstage as we return and see that The Wildcards are leaving! The world and everyone within it rejoices, but not so fast. MADDIX GUYS! Hey, guys! Where are you going? The three Wildcards don't even make it to the door before they're stopped in their tracks by a voice. A familiar voice. And a voice which none of the three are that fond of if their reaction is anything to go by. Jogging over to the trio, the OAOAST 24/7 Champion Landon Maddix pauses to catch his breath, as The Wildcards exchange some rather disappointed and frustrated looks between them. BLANK To get us some eats. The catering round here's terrible and the hospitality ain't nothin' to write home about neither. MADDIX No no, you can't go just yet. BLANK Well Crispy Creme ain't gonna be open much longer, so unless you got some other ideas... MADDIX I've still got my match tonight though. CORTEZ Don't worry, we'll pick up a tape and fast forward through the boring bits. Shrugging off the snide comment from his old adversary, Landon keeps a patient smile on his face. MADDIX No, see, I need you guys here. That seems to be of interest to the SWF International Champion as Bruce's eyebrows rise. Folding his arms, the big redneck smiles a big redneck grin to both Cortez and Bloodshed, neither of whom see the need to smile back. BLANK You need us, huh? Well ain't that a turn up for the ol' books. MADDIX Yeah, I need you. You are needed. Landon Maddix needs Bruce Blank's help, shout it from the rooftops for all the SWF to hear! Listen, guys. From what I can tell this Atlas guy is nothing special and certainly not in my league, but you know how crazy things are around here lately. Everyone's out for our blood. And this 24/7 Title's defended non-stop, every moment of every day. It's like a damn target on my chest...or my waist at least. An open invitation for people to jump me from behind, without punishment. That's why I need you three. I need you behind that curtain guarding the entrance so nobody comes out trying to steal my title. CORTEZ So we stand behind the curtain while you soak up the spotlight? MADDIX ...pretty much, yes. CORTEZ Sounds about right. C'mon guys... MEGAN Hey! The trio again don't quite make it to the door. Infact, they only really make it a half turn before they're brought to a halt. This time it's by the female voice of Maddix's manager Megan Skye though. And when a woman talks, you listen. Even if you do happen to be her ex Mr. Cortez. MEGAN Not so fast. Just hear us out. MADDIX Thank you Megan. Looks, guys, I might not officially be 'one of you', but we did have an arrangement. It's war, you said so yourself. In war you need a battleplan and you need everyone to stick to that plan. It's like... like Takeshi's Castle! You're the lucky three guys who haven't got your teeth smashed through your eyeballs on the High Rollers and I'm General Lee, leading us into action on those dinky dodgems. And the OAOAST is Takeshi's Castle. Now, if... MEGAN Uhm, Landon. MADDIX What? MEGAN Nobody ever wins on Takeshi's Castle. MADDIX I realise that. Everyone realises that. But I'm being theoretical. Work with me here. (to Hooligans) Anyway, as I was saying, if we don't work as a team then the Emerald Guards will pick us off with their lasers and before we know what's happened, we'll end up out of here, as failures. Work together however and maybe, just maybe, we'll storm Takesh...uhm, the OAOAST. Are you following me on this? BLANK ...what the hell is Takeshi's Castle? Groan. MEGAN Look, you're all man enough to stick to an agreement, right? BLANK Sure. MEGAN Right. You help us out tonight, dinner's on us. Taking a moment to confer with his team-mates, Bruce smiles. BLANK You got yourself a deal, missy. The trio turn from the door and walk back in the direction they came with Megan and Maddix following behind. COACH These SWF guys are like cockroaches; they just won't go away. COLE In recent weeks, the conflict between The Global Party Exchange and D*LUX has been running rampant, a conflict over pride and over image rather than over titles or simple personal hatred. And in the past week OAOAST President Axel in accordance with HI-YAH officials signed the two warring teams to a tag team match to settle things once and for all at AngleSlam, with the HI-YAH Tag Team Championship on the line. As always, the man with the scoop is... COACH THE COACH~! HOT NEWZ STAND UUUUUUUP!! COLE ...is the incomporable "Mene" Gene Okerlund. COACH Oh. COLE And our good friend Gene is ready and waiting to get a word with the challengers, take it away Gene. Cut to the always popular INTERVIEW STAGE~!, where Gene Okerlund is being showered with typical cheers. And Gene, ever the showman, hypes the crowd up before getting a delayed signal that he's on air. OKERLUND Ladies and gentlemen, my guests at this time... the OAOAST World Six Man Tag Team Champions... THE HOOOOOLLIIGGAAANNSS!!! "YEEA - BOOOO - AAA - OOOOOO - AHHH - OOOOOOOOOOOO!!" "In a world full of posers, phonies, and pure wannabees, there finally emerges a group which has come to set the record straight. so, all you suckers better recognize, ya heard can you say uhhh na na na na..." With the familiar sounds of "Make Her Say" by O-Town playing behind them, the trio of Johnny "Jam" Jackson, Scotty Static and Jamie O'Hara make their way from the main stage to the smaller but infinitely cooler interview stage. O'Hara jaws with the nearby fans in the background, while Static and Jax take their positions up either side of "Mene" Gene. OKERLUND Now gentlemen, in the past year or so you three have been no strangers to controversy. But what we've seen recently from you seems to have been controversy for the sake of controversy, talking of course about your actions towards D*LUX. STATIC Controversy for the sake of controversy, huh? Obviously you've not been paying much attention to us old man. OKERLUND I've been paying attention. And might I say, your reasons for targetting D*LUX are pretty spurious. JAX Lay off the big words there grandad. STATIC We've stated time and time again what our beef with 'G*LUX' is Gene. If some greenhorn showed up with a handheld mic, dressed up in a 20 cent suit trying to imitate your 80 cent suit and called himself "Lene" Dene, you'd punk his ass out on the spot. Cause you've earned the right to. You talk about us being no strangers to controversy and yeah, we ain't gonna lie, we do attract trouble now and again. Newsflash Gene-O, we're The Hooligans. The territory comes with the name. But above that, we attract controversy because we attract attention. When you talk tag teams in the OAOAST, you've got Black T, you've got Ned and Singleton and you've got The GPX. Everyone else, they're just pretenders to our throne. We MADE the Tag Division! JAX For real. Ned and Simon were rip-offs from day zip. And I don't see nobody wantin' to dress up like an Eskimo nowhere. STATIC Which just leaves us to rip-off. D*LUX have been livin' off of our reputation ever since they showed up in the OAOAST. Now, we figured these kids'd curl up and disappear pretty soon, but apparantly we were wrong. So, we decided to do something about them. JAX This boyband shtick they got goin' on? We've moved on from all that dawg. We're real, we ain't manufactured. And we're sick of seein' our old coattails being dragged outta the prop cupboard and put on display by these punk kids. OKERLUND Now wait a second here. Correct me if I'm wrong, but don't you two still call yourselves the Global Party Exchange? "YYEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHH!" Some of the fans cheer that patented Okerlund burn, as Johnny's face drops. O'Hara takes issue with the fans again and starts to wave his hands frantically trying to get them to pipe down. JAX What's your point old man!? OKERLUND Well, forgive me for saying so, but Global Party Exchange isn't a very 'hooliganistic' name. STATIC Since when do you become the authority on what is and what ain't 'hooliganistic' Okerlund? Listen, we established that name. We left our blood, our sweat and our tears in that OAOAST ring to transform the name GPX into a name to be feared in this wrestling business! When people see those letters G P X, they recognise! That name means something to people! We earned the right to live off that name. Us and us alone. That's why we're so pissed off with these greenhorns leeching off of them, as good as spitting on the hard work and dedication we've given for three fucking years! Ever the professional, Gene raises his eyebrows a little at the language. STATIC What have these kids done in this business? What have they done around here? NOTHING! They ain't got shit on us! OKERLUND May I remind you this is a family show. JAX It quit bein' a family show months ago Gene, be easy. STATIC The fact is Gene, these punks have gotten us riled up. Remember all the hostility that got thrown our way when we were trying to make spots for ourselves in this business? The disgust everyone had when we were fighting Zack Malibu? Where's it at now? Aw no, no hate here Gene. These kids have got pretty hair, see. They're nice and groomed, regular trips to the salon. They bring in ratings, so they get a free pass. What about our ratings!? What about real work!? This country's so obsessed with image, it's makin' us sick! We're pretty guys, right? JAX No doubtin' it. STATIC All these people are getting conned by manufacture. They see cookie-cutter blondes with balloons for brains and balloons strapped to their chest and they think that's beauty. They look at Lindsay Lohan eating herself from the inside and it makes them wanna buy her movies because she can squeeze through a drainpipe. And they think these pretty boys with manicures and pedicures and hair down to their asses are some sort of standard bearer. Since when did being meterosexual become hip? These kids, they're manufactured. Apparantly, they're the 'new GPX'. Guess what, fuck that! The suits in the HQ need to realise, you can't create stars like us! JAX Damn right! STATIC Fellahs, you're just boys stepping into a man's world. And I don't think you're ready to change that anytime soon. Come AngleSlam, we might just put you outta this world for good. We don't care about this funny little Japanese belts you're draggin' around. This is about pride. Hooligan pride. And when you insult that pride, you're gonna get hurt. Weaving into view from underneath camera shot, O'Hara pulls the mic in close. O'HARA Hooligans, fuck what ya heard! "YYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" The cheers aren't for the profanity of for the fantastic lean-in, but for TYLER BRYANT and SHAYNE BRAVE, storming the interview stage from behind and knocking Static and Jax to the floor with BELTSHOTS~! O'Hara takes a spill from the sprawling Jax taking his legs out but pulls himself right back up. Big mistake, as D*LUX grab him and drop him across the knees with the Cowell Movement!! With Okerlund watching on from afar and wondering why this always happens to him and his precious interview stage, D*LUX then take O'Hara by top and tails and PITCH HIM OFF THE INTERVIEW STAGE, A GOOD FOUR FEET TO THE FLOOR!! "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" O'Hara bounces off of the unforgiving concrete and rolls to a stop, with The GPX dragging each other to safety from the stage, pointing fingers and talking trash but saving their retaliations for AngleSlam apparantly. With the coast clear, Jade Rodez reclaims the discarded microphone. JADE Boys in a man's world? Ooooh, that's a good one! Well if my boys are boys then you've pushed these boys too far this time and at AngleSlam, you're, like, going to be right in our firing line GPX! We're not here to follow in your footsteps. We don't want to be like you. But on Sunday night "Tremendous" Tyler and "Showtime" Shayne are going to show you that they're every bit as good as you two are or maybe even better because we're gonna beat you! TYLER YEAH-UH! That new catchphrase gets the response it deserves: A1's "First To Believe". But the fans seem to be happy enough with the song and they cheer D*LUX anyway, as they watch The GPX on their way. Johnny and Scotty make some last threatening gestures before exiting back through the entrance doors, leaving the wreckage of Jamie O'Hara behind. COLE If The GPX were under-estimating the HI-YAH Tag Team Champions, they may just have gotten their wake-up call tonight. ANGLESLAM 2006 LUDICROUS SPE......oops. Order now! We return to HeldDOWN~! with footage from earlier in the night when “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican attacked Thunderkid. COLE Back on HeldDOWN~!, and earlier tonight, Tha Puerto Rican did a Pearl Harbor job on Thunderkid, attacking him after his match, and leaving him knocked out in the ring! COACH Tha Puerto Rican is doing whatever he can to get the advantage heading into AngleSlam this Sunday, and this was just a prime example of that! COLE PR/Thunderkid: The Final Confrontation will happen this Sunday as the two men fight in an “I Quit!” match inside a Steel Cage! COACH But Tha Puerto Rican got things started a little early by attacking Thunderkid after his match! COLE And now, Tha Puerto Rican will be in action! The lights go down in the arena. A Puerto Rican flag appears on the AngleTron. In big white blocky letters, the following words appear on the screen, with Tha Puerto Rican saying them: *THE CHAMP IS HERE!* ”BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” With that, a lightning bolt hits the entrance, the PRL entrance video plays on the AngleTron, and "Know Your Role '99" begins playing, with the crowd standing up and booing. PR is heard saying "THE CHAMP IS HERE!" throughout the song, while smoke fills the entryway and blue strobe lights flicker on and off in the entrance. A few seconds elapsed, and out from the curtains and through the smoke comes "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican, and his manager and "Career Consultant" Stephen Joseph Popick. Stephen Joseph is holding the Corporate Champion belt, while PRL is carrying the black briefcase that contains the contract for his World Title shot. PRL raises the briefcase, while Popick raises the Corporate Champion belt. The crowds' boos get louder. PR looks at the crowd in disgust, jawing with some fans. He looks at Popick, and the two of them begin their walk down the entrance ramp. PRL constantly mugs for the camera, showing off the briefcase, while Popick walks behind PR, holding the Corporate Champion belt over his head. *DING DING DING* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall, with a thirty-minute TV time limit. Introducing first. Coming to the ring at this time. Accompanied to the ring by his manager and “Career Consultant” Stephen Joseph Popick. From San Juan, Puerto Rico. Weighing in at 220 lbs. He is the longest reigning 24/7 Champion in OAOAST history. He is “The Corporate Champion” THA PUERTOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RICCCCCCCCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! Chants of "P.R. SUCKS!" fill the arena as PRL and Popick continue their walk to the ring. PRL holds the briefcase over his head. The camera cuts to the ring where PRL’s opponent is already standing. BUFFER And his opponent. From Springfield, Missouri. Weighing in 210 lbs. ARRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTTT SIMMMMPPPPPSSSSSSSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! Art Simpson raises his hands, to a barely noticeable pop. COLE Tha Puerto Rican has been on quite a roll lately. We saw what he did earlier tonight, but last week, Tha Puerto Rican won the first ever LUDICROUS SPEED~! Lethal Rumble Match, outlasting 14 other guys, to earn a contract for an OAOAST World Heavyweight Title shot whenever he wants. COACH And earlier tonight, Tha Puerto Rican signed the contract. So now, he can “cash in” on his title shot whenever he wants! COLE And surprisingly, he hasn’t cashed in yet. You would think someone like Tha Puerto Rican would cash in quickly, but he is taking his sweet time, isn’t he? COACH Well, he said that he would wait for the right time to cash in, and I guess the right time isn’t now. Tha Puerto Rican gets on the ring apron and sneers at the crowd. Popick holds the ropes, and Tha Puerto Rican enters the ring. He spins around; soaking in the fans' boos while "Know Your Role '99" continues playing over the P.A. system. Tha Puerto Rican puts the black briefcase next to him, and then does the HBK muscle pose while pyro goes off behind him. Popick applauds PRL, holding the Corporate Champion belt over his right shoulder. The crowd is still booing loudly and chanting "P.R. SUCKS!" COLE Tha Puerto Rican has spent the past four months locked in a feud with Thunderkid, and we will see the climax of said feud this Sunday at AngleSlam. But for now, PRL is going to go head-to-head with Art Simpson, who has made a few appearances in the OAOAST, but has yet to pick up a win. COACH If Art were able to beat Tha Puerto Rican, especially 3 days before AngleSlam, can you imagine what that’d do for his career? COLE It’d probably shoot him up into the stratosphere! COACH I’m going to miss Trish Stratus. COLE Me too, Coach. Me too. COACH Sure you will. PRL heads to a second turnbuckle and raises his hands as “Know Your Role ‘99” continues playing. He then heads to another second turnbuckle and raises his hands again. PR hits a third second turnbuckle, and raises his right arm in the air and "smells the electricity" a'la The Rock. PRL does the same Rock pose on the fourth second turnbuckle, receiving boos. COLE Well, AngleSlam is brought to you by Chef Boyardee. MMMMM Beefy! (Do they still use that?) COACH And by Alix Marie Spezia’s Sweeties. We don’t know what’s in them either. Tha Puerto Rican gets off the ropes, removes his sunglasses and earring, and chats with Popick while the lights go back on in the arena. Art Simpson stands in a corner watching all of this. COLE This Sunday will be one of the toughest nights in PRL’s life. He must be locked in a Steel Cage with a hated rival and make him say, “I quit!” in order to win. There is no pinfalls, no submissions, no countouts, and no disqualifications! This match will push Tha Puerto Rican and Thunderkid to the very limit! COACH The question is: are PRL and Thunderkid ready for it? COLE There’s only one way to find out. Watch the pay-per-view. PRL pulls on the ropes. Nick Soapdish pats down Tha Puerto Rican and Art Simpson, then calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* “THE CORPORATE CHAMPION” THA PUERTO RICAN (with Stephen Joseph Popick) vs. ART SIMPSON "Know Your Role '99" dies down. The crowd is hot. PR high fives Popick, who then leaves the ring with the Corporate Champion belt and the briefcase. PRL stares down Art Simpson, who gets in a fighting stance. Puerto smiles evilly. COLE And here we go. We saw Thunderkid in action earlier. Now it’s Puerto Rican’s turn. Tha Puerto Rican charges and attacks Art Simpson, nailing him with CLUBBERIN’~! THEY BE CLUBBERIN’~! forearms of DEATH! Puerto Rican Irish whips Art Simpson into the ropes. Flying Forearm! KIP-UP~! COLE Whoa! This is sudden! The Corporate Champ heads to a turnbuckle. The crowd starts booing loudly. PRL cockily starts stomping his right foot a’la Shawn Michaels. COLE PRL is tuning up the band. 1,2,3. 1,2,3. PRL keeps stomping his right foot. Art Simpson is slowly getting up. The crowd is getting fired up. COACH Who knew he could do this so quickly? Art Simpson gets to one knee. Popick is on the outside, a sick smirk on his face. PRL nods his head, daring Art to get up. Simpson gets to a vertical base, stunned. COLE Uh-oh. COACH Look out Art! Art Simpson takes a deep breath, and then turns around. PRL charges forward. The crowd is buzzing. *KA-POW~!* SWEET CHIN MUSIC! COLE Sweet Chin Music! The Sweet Chin Music on Art Simpson! Art Simpson goes down like a sack of bricks. PRL just falls to his knees, and covers Art, hooking his right leg. Referee Nick Soapdish counts. 1… 2… 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *DING DING DING* (1:14) COLE And it’s over! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Tha Puerto Rican gets off of Art Simpson and raises his hands in the air, a smirk etched on his face. “Know Your Role ‘99” starts playing again. BUFFER Here is your winner…”The Corporate Champion” THA PUERTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RICCCCCCCCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! PRL bows to the fans, who respond with boos. Popick is pleased with this quick win. COLE Tha Puerto Rican continues his hot streak, winning this match in less than two minutes! COACH I think he’s ready for Thunderkid at AngleSlam! COLE He very well could be. PRL looks at Art Simpson, who is still lying on the mat. A devilish grin appears on his face. He looks at SJP, who nods. So, Tha Puerto Rican pushes Nick Soapdish away, and starts stomping on him! “Know Your Role ‘99” dies down. The crowd boos! COLE Now come on! This is enough! The match is over! Stop it! PRL stomps on Art Simpson non-stop, while Popick lays in a few kicks here and there. The bell rings, but PRL isn’t paying attention. He’s still kicking Art Simpson. COLE PRL is just beating the crap out of Art Simpson! And for what reason? COACH It’s to prove he’s going to be the better man this Sunday at AngleSlam! Tha Puerto Rican picks up Art Simpson. KICK WHAM CORPORATE NIGHTMARE! COLE Corporate Nightmare! Now, that is enough! COACH He can’t hear you, Cole. He’s too busy kicking Art Simpson’s ass. PRL gets up and taunts Art. The crowd boos loudly. PR tells Popick to get a microphone. “P.R. SUCKS!” “P.R. SUCKS!” “P.R. SUCKS!” “P.R. SUCKS!” PR flips the crowd off. He goes back to stomping on Art Simpson, who is screaming out in pain, holding his stomach. COLE PRL has gone postal! Stephen Joseph hands Tha Puerto Rican a microphone. “THE CORPORATE CHAMPION” THA PUERTO RICAN Come on Thunderkid! Get up! COLE Uh…what? THA PUERTO RICAN Come on Thunderkid! You’re such a tough guy! Come on and get up! Fight me, damn it! Tha Puerto Rican kicks Art Simpson in the stomach. PR laughs. THA PUERTO RICAN You’ve been getting on my last nerve. PRL kicks Art Simpson again! PRL I am sick and tired of you! PRL kicks Art Simpson AGAIN! PRL And now, I am going to embarrass you, and humiliate you in front of the millions and millions of Tha Puerto Rican’s fans! Puerto throws the microphone away. He grabs Art Simpson’s legs, puts his left foot in between them, crosses the legs, and then turns around, sitting down to apply a Sharpshooter on Art Simpson! COLE A Sharpshooter! Damn it! Somebody stop this! COACH PRL thinks Art Simpson is Thunderkid! He wants to make an example out of Art Simpson! COLE Tha Puerto Rican has snapped! Tha Puerto Rican pulls tight on the submission hold. Art Simpson is tapping out, but since this isn’t a match, it doesn’t matter. PRL pulls back on Art’s legs, further hurting him. Tha Puerto Rican laughs manically the entire time. PRL Say “I Quit!” Thunderkid! SAY IT! Popick puts the microphone to Art Simpson’s lips. ART SIMPSON AAAAAHHHHHH! I QUIT! I QUIT! THA PUERTO RICAN SAY IT THUNDERKID! SAY IT!!! ART SIMPSON I QUIT!!! I QUIT!!! PRL I didn’t hear you! SAY IT! SAY IT LOUD! SAY IT SO THE WHOLE WORLD CAN HEAR! SAY IT BEFORE I BREAK YOUR DAMN LEGS!!! ART SIMPSON I QUIT! I QUIT! I QUIT! I QUIT!!! OH GOD! I QUIT! I QUIT! I QUIT!!! I QUITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!! NOW PLEASE LET ME GO! Tha Puerto Rican No, that’s not enough. Say it again! Say it again and again until I’m satisfied! Come on Thunderkid! SCREAM IT OUT LIKE THE BITCH THAT YOU ARE!!! ART SIMPSON AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH! I QUIT! I QUIT! I QUIT! I QUIT! I QUIT! I QUIT! “YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Thunderkid runs into the ring! He attacks PRL from behind, finally breaking the Sharpshooter! Art Simpson is free at last. COLE Thunderkid is here! COACH I thought that attack earlier would send him to the hospital! Thunderkid beats on Tha Puerto Rican, punching him and kicking him repeatedly! However, Stephen Joseph Popick hits TK in the back of the head with the Corporate Champion belt! HOWEVER, the beltshot only causes TK to fall to his knees, and he gets right back up! Popick shits his pants in fear. COLE Oh yeah! Popick’s going to get some right now! The crowd cheers loudly as Thunderkid stalks Stephen. But then, Tha Puerto Rican grabs Thunderkid and turns him around, so that he can hit him with a Rock-style punch to the temple. And another! And another one! Thunderkid fights back! The two men who will meet at AngleSlam engage in a slugfest in the middle of the ring! COLE PRL and Thunderkid are getting it on right now, three days before AngleSlam! Puerto knees ‘Kid in the gut, and hits him with forearms. Thunderkid blocks a punch, and punches PRL in the face again and again! Security, referees, and Road Agents finally appear, running into the ring to stop the fight. COLE We’ve got officials here to stop the brawling! COACH Awww let them fight! The crowd agrees, booing the officials. COLE This chaos! Total chaos in the ring! Referees, road agents, and security try to pull Tha Puerto Rican and Thunderkid apart, but it’s no use. They’re finally successful…but then Thunderkid escapes and SPEARS~! Tha Puerto Rican down to the mat! He unleashes the fucking fury on PRL! COLE It’s as if these guys can fight forever! COACH They’ll get a chance to fight for as long as they want this Sunday! The match will not end until one of them says, “I quit!” Security pulls Thunderkid off of PRL, but not before Thunderkid pulls out some of PRL’s hair! COLE OH MY! Tha Puerto Rican grabs Thunderkid and punches him in the face, as security, road agents, and referees keep trying to stop the brawl. COLE We gotta take a commercial break! But we’ll be back right back after this! There’s still total chaos in the ring! “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican will meet Thunderkid in an “I Quit!” Match inside a Steel Cage! PR/Thunderkid: The Final Confrontation, Steel Cage “I Quit!” Match this Sunday at OAOAST AngleSlam! “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican and Thunderkid are still brawling in the ring. Security, referees, and road agents are STILL trying to separate the two. The crowd is cheering loudly as we fade to commercial. UP NEXT: Black T vs. The Sooner Bruisers. Commercial break
KingPK Posted August 25, 2006 Author Report Posted August 25, 2006 Edgar Winter's "Frankenstein" blasts over the loud speakers for the first time in months, the theme song of the tag team combination known as the Sooner Bruisers, who return to the ring following a lengthy suspension sporting the OAOAST tag team title belts they stole at the wedding of Logan Mann and Holly-Wood. Big Frank pauses to flex, French kissing the peak on his right bicep while baby brother circles around him, HOWLING~ to the sky. * DING DING DING * BUFFER The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first...from Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, at a total combine weight of 525 pounds...Big Frank and Uber Bruiser, the SOONER BRUUUUUUISERRRRRRRSSSSSS! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COACH It doesn't appear the 3 month lay off had any effect on the Sooner Bruisers, Mikey; they look great. COLE You can tell they never missed a work out. And it'll be anything but a work out when they face arguably the greatest tag team in OAOAST history, Black T. COACH Speaking of Black T, my sources tell me Dan Black wanted no part of this match but Tony Brannigan demanded it, going behind Dan's back and signing a contract for tonight. COLE Everybody saw what the Sooners did to Tony last week. Of course he'd want a shot at them. COACH But they're 3 days away from a World Tag Team Title match at Angleslam. If either one of them is injured going into Sunday night, they can kiss their 4th tag title reign good-bye because they won't beat the Heavenly Rockers at less then 100%. I bet that's what Dan is worried about. Too bad Brannigan is such a glory hog, such a prima donna that he can't wait until after Angleslam to fight the Sooner Bruisers. COLE You have to wonder if there will even be any tag title to hand Black T if they do won. The Sooner Bruisers stole them from the Heavenly Rockers tour bus at Lolly's wedding. CUE: "Quiet" by the Smashing Pumpkins Much to the dismay of Coach, there are no signs of tension between Dan Black and Tony Brannigan. Black T confidently marching to the ring amist a mixed reaction, burning holes through the Sooner Bruisers. Big Frank and Uber are ready to go right now, but Dan and Tony first request that referee Nick Patrick dispatch the Sooners to a neutral corner so that they can enter peacefully. TRICKERY! Black T blind Frank and Uber with their robe and trenchcoat respectively, tossing them in the faces of The Sooner Bruisers! * DING DING DING * Tony Brannigan clotheslines both Sooners as the bell sounds, knocking Uber out on the apron. He instantly pounces on Big Frank, wildly swinging at the head of "The Man of Tomorrow" while the crowd reacts to every blow. Brannigan follows Frank into the ropes and drives the knee into the midsection, flipping Frank over. The Man of Tomorrow crawls to the ropes in hopes of catching a break but Tony doesn't let up, using his own robe to CHOKE Big Frank! Nick Patrick scolds Brannigan for blatantly violating the rules, his words falling on deaf ears. Tony attempts to open up a cut similar to the one he sustained last week by hammering Big Frank above the eye. So intent on busting Bruiser open, Tony is unaware of Uber and is popped in the face by a vicious Soonerline! COLE Tag made by the Sooner Bruisers. After a rough start they are now in the driver's seat. Unfortunately for Tony Brannigan, there are no seat belts in the back. He's flung in the air courtesy of a T-bone suplex! The good news is, he lands near his corner and tags Dan! No hesitation whatsoever on the part of Dan Black... * CHOP * "WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" ...who bursts a vessel or two in the chest of Uber. The Psycho Gremlin stands tall, snarling as he massages his left pec. Uber and Dan exchange fire, forearm smashes to the chest and knife-edge chops respectively. COACH I believe that's what you call a slobberknocker. COLE Or smash mouth wrestling. Their chests beginning to resemble an item you'd find in the meat section in your local supermarket, Dan and Uber are like, screw this and lock up. But Dan's leg suddenly buckles. He shoves Uber away and hobbles to his corner holding his hamstring. Nick Patrick buys Black T sometime by ordering Uber to a neutral corner. COACH I'm not the type of guy to say I told you so...but I told you so! COLE It appears Dan Black may have tweaked that already sore hamstring. COACH Tell it like it is, Mikey. He got hurt in a meaningless match, a match he didn't want to wrestle in the first place. What a friend Tony Brannigan is. Kiss the tag belts good-bye, fellas. There's always next year. Uber slingshots an unsuspecting and concerned Tony Brannigan inside the squared circle. Tony fights back from his knees, punching Uber in the gut to no effect. Brannigan rakes the eyes to bring the Psycho Gremlin's offensive assault to a halt, then rakes the face across the laces of his boot. With his opponent doubled over, Tony rams the knee upside the head and goes for the RUDE AWAKENING...but Uber fires him off to the ropes. Brannigan puts on the brakes when Uber sets for a backdrop, tucking the Psycho Gremlin's head between his thighs. COLE Attitude Adjustment piledriver! He's going for it. "OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COACH Too early in the match. Ha. Indeed it was. Uber tossing Tony over his shoulders and crashing to the mat. Uber hits the ropes to pick up speed as Tony rises to his feet. Brannigan telegraphs it and leaps up...only to get caught in midair and POWERSLAMMED! ONE... TWO... KICKOUT! Black shouts words of encouragement from Black T's corner. It does little to cushion the blow Tony's face receives when its smashed into the top turnbuckle! Exchange made by The Sooner Bruisers. Big Frank steps back in, his eye swollen from Tony's punches earlier in the match, and thrusts the shoulder into the midsection of Tony Brannigan. * CHOP * "WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" * CHOP * "WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" * CHOP * "WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Big Frank slaps Tony around, calling him all sorts of bad names. Brannigan doesn't get mad...he gets ANGRY~! He hurls the Man of Tomorrow into the corner and wails away! Uber comes to his brother's defense and is decked by a big right hand! Bad news lies ahead for Tony as he turns around and faces Big Frank... ...OVERHEAD BELLY-TO-BELLY SUPLEX INTO THE TURNBUCKLES!! COACH DAYUM~! COLE The Man of Tomorrow drags Tony out to the center of the ring, flexes his bicep and drops the big elbow. Rather than make the cover Big Frank chooses to do 10 push-ups -- 5 regular and 5 one-handed. BIG FRANK One freakozoid, two freakozoids, three freakozoids, four... COACH Heh. You think Big Frank does that when he's about to, you know, blast off into nirvana? COLE Any lady who finds that man desirable is no lady. The slightest of movements from Tony Brannigan draws the ire of Big Frank, who drills the forearm viciously into Tony's face. Brannigan tries to crawl away, Big Frank slapping and kicking him upside the head. Frank traps Tony in the corner and works him over with a barrage of clubbing blows to the back and kneelifts. He brings him out of the corner and off to the ropes, leveling Brannigan with a patented Soonerline. Again Frank decides to pose rather than go for the cover, this time it comes back to haunt him. Tony avoids an incoming elbow, rolling aside and scooping the Man of Tomorrow up for a slam that sends shockwaves throughout the arena. Brannigan stays on the offensive, following up by dropping a series of power forearms. Frank blocks Tony's attemped suplex and lifts him up for the 69 DRIVER, but Tony floats over and shoves Big Frank into the ropes, catching him on the rebound with... ...THE OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE SPINBUSTER!!! Dan pumps his fist as Tony covers. ONE... TWO... THREE! "YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!" NO!! "OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COLE Saved made by Uber. Oh, I thought it was over. COACH Listen to this crowd, Cole. They've gotten completely behind Black T. I can't believe it. COLE Neither can I, but they are. It's a sign of respect. That's what separates a team like Black T and The Sooner Bruisers. Black T have the respect of the fans. Big Frank hits a LOW BLOW while Nick Patrick escorts Uber back to the corner. Following a tag Uber positions Tony on the top rope. BELLY-TO-BELLY SUPERPLEX! ONE... TWO... THR-- A body comes flying into view and onto Uber. DAN BLACK WITH THE SAVE! Black limps back to his corner, hammered from behind by a shot to the neck from Uber. The Sooner Bruisers finally have enough of the heroics and begin pummeling the shit out of Tony Brannigan right in front of the referee, basically daring Nick Patrick to disqualify them. They bring Tony up to his feet and hit opposite sides of the ring to Soonerline Brannigan from the front and back...but Tony feels it and bails to his corner, making the HOT TAG as the brothers from Oklahoma SOONERLINE EACH OTHER! "YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" COLE The Sooner Bruisers ran into a dead end there. Here comes "The Ice Heart" and what an ovation he receives. With one tag Dan Black has put to rest all the questions raised about him. He is loyal to the OAOAST and Tony Brannigan. Hampered by the sore hamstring there isn't much Dan can do, so he makes sure to make the most of it, striking hard and fast. Double forearm thrusts levels Uber. Big Frank is mailed to the ropes only to be marked return to sender, that being Dan Black who delivers a stiff lariat to the jaw! Black snaps Uber over in a suplex and covers. ONE... TWO... THR-- NO! Big Frank's save backfires when Dan rolls off Uber, causing him to drop an elbow on his own brother! Tony Brannigan clotheslines Frank into the ropes, sending the two tumbling over the top and to the floor. Black makes a rare miscue, whipping Uber into the corner when he can't charge in. Uber knows that and shoots out of the corner, decking Dan with a Soonerline. Tony and Big Frank brawl outside, nearly spilling the action into the crowd. Inside the ring, Uber signals for the Oklahoma Stampede. Dan has different plans, however, slipping over the top when Uber scoopes him up and takes him down in THE HEART OF ICE CROSSFACE!! COLE He's got it locked on! COACH A normal man would have submitted by now, but look at the size of Uber's arm and neck. Dan's gonna have to break his arm to make him quit. That or interference from big brother. Frank catching Tony again with a low blow, then RAMS him into the RINGPOST, opening up Brannigan's wound from last week. Big Frank reaches underneath the ring and pulls out a NIGHTSTICK. COLE Where'd he get that? Somebody must've planted that earlier in the day. Or confirmation the Sooner Bruisers were the riot cops who attacked weeks ago! Uber's eyes look like they're gonna pop right out of their sockets. Luckily for him, his brother steps in and jabs the nightstick into the right temple of Dan Black, causing an immediate disqualification. Frank swats Nick Patrick away like a fly, then continues on the beatdown of Dan Black along with little brother Uber. * DING DING DING * COLE Damnit! Black T had the match won. Dan Black had Uber in the Heart of Ice. He was gonna make him tap, I tell you. COACH We don't know that. COLE Of course we don't because Frank nailed Dan with a damn nightstick! Frank and Uber are about to hit their electric chair/top rope bulldog double-team combo when... :headbang: :headbang: ...the decimals go through the roof as THE HEAVENLY ROCKERS storm the ring, causing the Sooners to head for the exits. OAOAST officals and agents surround ringside, ordering Frank and Uber backstage but they want the belts first. The Sooners become violent when officials refuse to hand them the belts because they belong to The Heavenly Rockers. BIG FRANK Who do I gotta bitchslap around here to get those belts? Synth and Logan have enough when Frank and Uber make a play for the belts, wiping them out with a pair of SUICIDE DIVES! Officials scramble to separate both sides. The situation escalates when a bloody Tony Brannigan sucker punches Synth, triggering another round of explosions. COLE All hell is breaking loose. Officials finally restore order. The Sooner Bruisers are escorted up the entranceway while other officials keep Black T stationed at ringside. Only the Heavenly Rockers remain in the ring. Logan asks for a mic, forcing Michael Buffer to maneuver around the sea of mass to hand it to him. LOGAN Sooner Bruisers, now that we've grabbed your attention after the Synthmeister and I put you in a different dimension I want you to listen up real carefully because I'm gonna spit things beyond your comprehension and put your brain on suspension so you can feel the tension! You better listen up too, Black T, because there won't be any discussions on these repercussions. What I'm about to hit you with you can't cure with Robitussin. I wanna make a proposal for Angleslam. Instead of the scheduled tag team title match between The Heavenly Rockers and Black T, I say let's make it a threesome! COACH Whaaaat? LOGAN Oh, yeah. Yeah! LOGAN (CONT'D) Triple Threat match: Black T vs. The Sooner Bruisers vs. The Heavenly Rockers for the One & Only Anglesault Thread World Tag Team Championship. Kill four bastards with two bad asses, The Heavenly Rockers! We're gonna beat you bad and leave you four with mass concussions sayeth Logan Mann! Angleslam 2006. Be there! SYNTH Now y'all muthafuckers deal wit dat! To say Black T are upset over the Heavenly Rockers announcement is an understatement. They're irate. Dan Black and Tony Brannigan going ballistic out on the floor, aruging with OAOAST agent and part-time reporter Terry Tayler, claiming the champs don't have the power to renegotiate a match contract. The Sooner Bruisers, meanwhile, are perfectly fine with the announcement, grinning wrly at their Angleslam opponents. COLE Oh, my. Oh, my! It's now gonna be a Triple Threat match for the World Tag Team Title at Angleslam, Coach. Black T vs. The Sooner Bruisers vs. The Heavenly Rockers! Wow! COACH Big deal. Well it is a big deal, but it's nothing more than an act. A desperate attempt by Logan Mann to regain his manhood after being emasculated in front of his wife, at their own wedding noless. Prior to becoming the manager of the Heavenly Rockers, Holly-Wood was their publicst. Let's not forget that. She knows how to game the PR game, and I don't mean "The Corporate Champ" himself. COLE Whatever the case may be, we're gonna have ourselves a Triple Threat match for the OAOAST World Tag Team Championship at the hottest event of the summer...Angleslam! Commercial break
KingPK Posted August 25, 2006 Author Report Posted August 25, 2006 COLE Coming up next, it's the 24/7 Championship on the line and a momentous night as one of the SWF's finest makes his official OAOAST debut. Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix, a three-year veteran and former two-time World Champion has called this a 'warm-up' match ahead of his match at AngleSlam against Leon Rodez. Biff Atlas, one half of Nutrition's Real Gurus, will be the man with something to say about that and hopefully defend the OAOAST's honour. COACH You really think Biff's got a chance? COLE Landon Maddix is the most decorated athlete in SWF history, with thirteen seperate title reigns in his two and a half years with the company, plus four more title reigns in their old feeder promotion the SJL. There's no doubting that he's a great athlete. He's not the most popular of people either, hard to believe I know, so he's used to hostile atmospheres like he'll get tonight. On paper, to those who know about Landon, he's the favourite to win tonight. But wrestling matches aren't won on paper and tonight Biff Atlas comes with the entire OAOAST locker room and the fans in his corner and the lure of a career making upset here tonight. COACH He's got a lot of pressure on his big-ass shoulders though Mikey. Biff's a tag wrestler. This Maddix guy, he's a four-time SWF Tag Champion, right? COLE Four-time and current, yes. And feel free to steal more of my research notes any time you like. COACH No problem. Anyway, point is Maddix must be a great tag wrestler but he's made it as a singles wrestler first. Biff's a tag wrestler, but he's not got experience in singles. COLE Well that is true. Fingers crossed for Biff though, after Landon's comments at the OAOAST's expense. COACH Word. .:CUE: "Adrenaline", Gavin Rossdale:. If we're being honest, Biff Atlas has rarely been the most popular man in the OAOAST. But judging from the reaction he gets as he comes out through the OAOAST entrance doors, he might be tonight. Gone are the hula skirt and the ankle bracelets, tonight Biff is obviously all business as he's kitted out in his aqua NRG tights and looking ready for action. Biff exchanges a few high-fives on his way to the ring, looking a little over-whelmed by the reaction he's getting as he rolls into the ring and pops to his feet, wide-eyed as he glances around the arena. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall and it is for the OAOAST 24/7 Championship of the World! In the ring, the challenger... hailing from Venice Beach, California. Weighing in tonight at two hundred and twenty pounds. One half of Nutrition's Real Gurus... BIIIIIIIFFF... "SHAMPOO"... AAAAAAAAAAATTLLLLAAAAAAASSSSSSS!!!!! "YYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE What a reaction for Biff Atlas! I don't think he quite knows what to make of it all right now, but he needs to use it to his advantage and not get caught up in it like a deer caught in headlights. COACH Let's hope Biff can keep his eyes off of Maddix's hair long enough to beat him too. "Tell me exactly, what am I supposed to do Now that I have allowed you, to beat me! Do you think that we could play another game Maybe I could win this ti-ime." "I kinda like the misery you put me through Darling you can trust me, completely! If you even try to look the other way I think that I could kill this ti-ime!" Almost drowned out by boos but not quite due to a state of the art P.A system, "The Game" by Disturbed hits, as through the entrance doors steps Megan Skye, heralding the arrival of the 24/7 Champion. Landon Maddix stops at the top of the ramp and thrusts his hands out to his side to another crescendo of boos. All of which Landon takes in his stride as he walks down the aisle, carrying over his shoulder proudly the SWF World Tag Team Title, the 24/7 Title less proudly around his waist. BUFFER And introducing the opponent. He is led to the ring by his manager, Ms. MEGAN SKYE! From Huron, South Dakota by way of Madrid, Spain... weighing two hundred, twenty pounds. One half of the SWF World Tag Team Champions and the reigning, defending OAOAST 24/7 CHAMPION of the World! Making his official debut for the OAOAST tonight, ladies and gentlemen he is LLAAANNDDOOOONN... "LA CUCARACHA"... MMMMMMAAAAAADDIIIIIIXXXXXXXXXX!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Landon leaps to the apron, looking out at the crowd as Megan climbs the steps. Megan holds open the ropes and Landon bounds into the ring, spinning himself into the centre of the ring with every ounce of his ego powering him and posing with Megan. Biff watches on from a neutral corner, a little pensively. COLE He's certainly not understating this first official entrance, is he Coach? Unstrapping his 24/7 Title, Maddix hands it to referee Charles Robinson. He doesn't however entrust him with the SWF Tag Title, which he instead passes off to Megan with a wink and a smile. A confident smile. Go figure. "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" COLE A hostile reaction from these OAOAST fans, although to be fair he's not the most popular with the SWF fanbase either. Of which there are a few here tonight who I've seen with SWF shirts on. COACH They're lucky they ain't been run out of here already. *DINGDINGDING!* The bell sounds and it's official, Landon Maddix's first official OAOAST match is officially underway. Your official, Charles Robinson. Biff still looks a little nervous and his eyes dart around the arena, perhaps a little lost without long-time partner Flex Phillips in his corner or even at ringside. Looking entirely more confident, Landon shuffles out of the corner and measures his opponent up. And despite the identical body weight, Biff clearly looks the more impressive physically. So rather than coming bulling out from the bell, the crafty 24/7 Champion comes to a stop, one hand pinned behind his back, the other extended for a friendly handshake. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH I dunno if this is how they do things in the SWF or not, but I smell a rat. COLE Well, Biff isn't reknowned as a smart cookie. But surely he's not going to fall for this. Trying to look as genuine as possible Landon encourages Biff to shake the hand. Looking around the arena nervously, Biff doesn't seem sure of quite what to do. The mass of downward pointing thumbs and frantic shaking of heads scattered around the OAOAST crowd tells him that something is amiss though and as he turns back to Landon he declines the shake, instead showing off TEH GUNZ~! which causes Maddix to turn away, furious at being upstaged. COACH You're no Lex Luger buddy. One pose like that and he'd have suckas diving for cover. Accepting defeat in the battle of the bodies, Landon offers up a greco-roman knucklelock to the americo-roman knucklehead. Biff cautiously accepts... ...and gets jabbed in the eyes! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Patented Landon Maddix I'm afraid. As Biff blindly stumbles backwards, Maddix goes on the attack with his strike of choice, the forearm. A quick succession of four back Biff into the ropes and set up an irish whip, sending Biff shooting across the ring and back into a high, spinning back elbow! Sneer, pose, soak up Megan's applause, all patented Landon. Eventually, Landon then makes the pin... 1... ...and gets PRESSED off of the pin by Biff! "YYEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHH!" COLE That might just give Landon's ego a bit of a battering. Landon quickly applies a side headlock as Biff pulls himself up and looks to keep the pocket powerhouse under control. Going to the gut with an elbow, Biff simply powers Maddix off into the ropes though. Building up a head of steam, the confident Champion barrels right back with a shoulderblock...and goes down! Hard! Up clambers Landon with a hold of the back of his head, turning to meet Biff as he comes off the ropes, connecting with his own shoulderblock, which again sees Landon bounced off the canvas like a rubber ball! Maddix is already hoping for a timeout now, but Biff mows him down with a clothesline despite his attempts to beg off, forcing Maddix to retreat to the floor to get a breather. COLE That's what Biff Atlas has to do if he stands a chance of winning the 24/7 Title tonight. He's got to be smashmouth and use his power advantage, not allowing Landon to show off his athleticism. COACH Or to cheat. COLE That too. Although, with No Disqualifications in the 24/7 Division, he could also just cream Landon with a dumbell. COACH No complaints here. Despite there being No DQs and falls counting anywhere, Biff doesn't follow Landon out to the floor and allows him time to regroup. Over comes Megan with some words of advice and her trusty towel, mopping any sweat Maddix has already accumulated from his brow. "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" Those tactics don't earn Maddix any fans, but he's not concerned. Team conference over, Landon eventually re-enters the ring, making sure Robinson keeps Biff back as he does so. Another lock-up is offered from La Cucaracha and understandably Biff is even more wary this time, after the thumb he got in his eye last time. Crossing his heart, Landon swears he's genuine this time. He's not, of course, as he lunges past Biff and applies a waistlock. Not a technical expert, Biff uses his power to prise Landon's hands apart, then performs a standing switch. Reaching back, Maddix looks for an escape from Biff's waistlock...and finds it, wrapping his hands around Biff's head and wrenching his neck into a cravaté! COLE Uh-oh, that 3/4 chancre that's known in British circles as the cravate. A pet hold of Landon, it's not that pretty but it's...well, it's not that effective either actually. It's basically a headlock. But it is his pet hold. And trust me, he will hold onto that cravaté until you fall asleep if he feels like it, because he doesn't really know what he's doing. Lucky then that Biff has no plans on staying put in the hold, barging Landon back into the corner and driving back, crushing him against the turnbuckles. Another barge forces Landon to break the hold, before Biff takes a run-up, looking for a more forceful barge. Maddix gets the foot up to block, dazing Biff for... ...another cravaté! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH Ugh! COLE Now, if this were someone like Zane Maxwell, this would be a good tactic because he would be working towards something. Landon learnt this hold from an old tag team partner while trying to improve as a technical wrestler. But he gave up halfway, so he's left with a hold that he doesn't really know what to do with except apply and hold. COACH So, he's just dumb, or he's doing this to piss the fans off? COLE A little from column A, a little from column B. He's not a mat tactician by any stretch of the imagination. Maddix clings onto the hold with the support of Megan and only Megan behind him. The rest of the crowd route behind Biff, as he powers up and lands an elbow to the gut. Another elbow. And a third, breaking the cravaté. Biff then grabs Landon and shoots him to the ropes with a whip. The succeeding clothesline is avoided though as Landon rolls underneath the well-developed arm, coming to his feet and looking for a knifedge chop. Biff ducks that though, taking Maddix's far arm on his way and twisting it around into another whip. This time Landon comes back and gets pressed into the air by the powerhouse, but he manages to shift his weight in mid-air and come down with a hurricanrana, taking Biff over into a corner and giving the 24/7 Champion another chance to posture for his new fanbase. COLE Hurri-Lanrana. COACH Cute. As Biff pulls himself up in the corner, over swaggers Landon, measuring Biff up... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!* ...and landing a knifedge in the corner. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!* ...and a second chop, across Biff's ripped pectorals. Being ripped, they absorb the chops a little more... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!* ...but a third seems to do the job as Biff slumps a little deeper in the corner. Landon takes advantage, placing his leg across Biff's throat and choking him against the buckle, knowing full well the referee is powerless to warn him. Retracting the leg, Maddix then takes a moment to argue with some of the more vocal members of the Lincoln crowd as Biff crawls away to catch his breath. "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" Following after Atlas, Maddix hooks his leg under an arm, taking Biff over with an Oklahoma roll... 1... 2... No! Beating Biff back to his feet, Landon lands a boot to the head to keep him at bay. Followed by another boot, just for fun. Lording it over the fallen Biff, Landon then turns out to the crowd and shows off his own, not quite as impressive but present nonetheless GUNZ~! MADDIX WHO'S GOT THE POWAH NOW, HUH~! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The only person in danger of swooning is Megan as Maddix shows the crowd what's he's got. Biff is up in mid-posedown, but Landon spots him and cuts him off as he reaches his knees, landing a knee before holding Biff's head in place and grinding him across the face with a BOOTSCRAPE~! COACH That's a real dick move. Landon's kickpads don't do much to soften the blow for Biff, still recoiling with a hold of his face as Maddix looks to bring him back to his feet. Irish whip by Landon sends Atlas into the corner, the smaller half of NRG nestling against the buckles as Maddix runs in, leaps and lands a big forearm smash! "OOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Biff staggers out of the corner as Maddix fires off the ropes, connecting with a second leaping forearm strike to this time put the challenger down. On his knees already, Landon decides why not make a cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Straight on goes another cravaté, Landon controlling Biff's movement and slowly bringing him up to his feet, still trapped in the hold. Before Biff can even think about firing back, a knee to the gut doubles him over, Landon cravatemaring Biff over onto his seat... *SMACK!* ...and he just PUNTS Biff in the spine with a Dragon Kick! COACH That'll make you piss blood in the morning. Biff kicks his feet nursing the back, as Landon comes off the ropes behind and pulls a move out of the Curt Hennig playbook, tumbling over Biff and taking the head with a Perfect Neck Snap! Of course, Landon takes the chance to posture as soon as he comes to a stop. But he does then scramble over and belatedly follow-up with the pin... 1... 2... Kickout! Shaking the finger at referee Robinson, Landon looks for Biff to get back up. Using the ropes Biff does so, but as he turns around Maddix busts out an impressive Dropsault to knock him right back down! Landon is already warning referee Robinson about his count, even as he's crawling over to make the cover... 1... 2... Kickout! MADDIX Come on! COLE A little show of frustration from the Champion, who obviously doesn't think much of the OAOAST and it's roster, so it's safe to say he's underestimating Biff. Landon pulls Biff up by his shiny bald head, then takes that same bald head and hurls it face-first into the top turnbuckle. Spinning Biff to face him, Landon then loads up... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and fires in another knifedge. Referee Robinson tries to order Landon into getting Biff out of the corner, but the 24/7 Champion is under no real requirement to do so and connects with another couple of forearm strikes before whipping Biff out. Biff hits the buckles on the opposite side and is rebounded out, being waited on by Landon who scythes him down with a drop toehold. Up to all fours bounces Biff. And if he'd done his research, he'd know that was a bad position as Landon steps over and looks to snare the head to apply the Land Of Nod! Frantically Biff starts to twist and turn, throwin' elbows and eventually forcing his way to safety, crawling back through Landon's legs. Not dwelling on the disappointment, Maddix hits the ropes and charges at Biff. Clothesline attempt is ducked by Landon, who keeps on running, bouncing off the opposite side...just as Biff tumbles through the air, cutting Landon off with a Spinning Wheel Kick right to the jaw!! "YYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE That might well be a knockout! Landon sprinted right into Biff's heel! COACH But Biff ain't following up, he's gotta follow up! COLE Biff's taken most of the punishment in this match Coach. Both men are down and I'm not sure if you can have a double countout in 24/7 Title matches, Robinson certainly isn't counting. Stumbling to his feet, the knocked loopy Next Generation wanders aimlessly around the ring. Megan is frantic trying to get him to turn around. But even though he does as told, it's a mistake, as Biff is in the middle of an adrenaline rush and firing up. Around turns Landon and he gets popped with a right hand! "BIFF!" Right hand. "BIFF!" Right hand. "BIFF!" Right hand. "BIFF!" Taken aback momentarily, Biff turns to the crowd to check that they really are chanting his name. The cheer he gets for simply looking at them tells him they are, so Biff gets into the spirit of things, wiiiiiiinding up and... ...Landon ducks, catching him under the arm and pulling Biff down with the Complete Shot!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Aw man, Biff got a little carried away and it cost him. Still dazed in his own right, Maddix takes a moment to roll Biff's dazed frame over. But when he does, he finally gets serious, hooking the leg on the pin... 1... 2... NO! "YYEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!" Megan yells at her man not to panic as he climbs back up, shaking out the cobwebs and stalking behind Biff waiting for him to get back up. "SMART - MARK SUCKS!" "SMART - MARK SUCKS!" "SMART - MARK SUCKS!" "SMART - MARK SUCKS!" Slowly Biff starts to clamber back up. But he's still dazed. And as he gets halfway up he has to stop to try and collect his thought, unfortunately having fed one knee out and enticing Landon in to spring off the leg... COLE SHINING WIZAAA... ...NO, BLOCKED!! Biff throws up his muscular forearms and sheilds his face, Landon's knee bouncing harmlessly off the arms and leaving him to crash back to the canvas. Scrambling back up, Landon tries to make up for the failure with a forearm strike. Biff ducks underneath though, grabbing a waistlock and throwing the 24/7 Champion over with an instictive German Suplex, folding him up on his head!! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE WHAT A MOVE! Where the hell did Biff pull that from!? COACH Who cares? Pin him you dumb musclejock, pin him! Chances are Biff can't hear Coach. But he can hear the Lincoln fans yelling the same (well, similar) thing at him and all that support spurs him on, rolling Landon over and making the cover... 1... 2... Kickout! COLE Only two, but this is Biff's chance! The crowd are hyped now, sensing Biff may very well pull off the upset they're begging for. With a handful of Landon's blond and apparantly very interesting hair, Biff pulls La Cucaracha up to his feet. He manages to pull himself away from feeling Landon's purty hair long enough to then club him down with a clothesline. Maddix bounces back up through instinct more than anything else, to get knocked down with a second clothesline. Up comes Maddix again and down he goes again from clothesline number three. Firing up the crowd, Biff then hits the ropes and catches Landon on the way up with an Akiyama-esque knee under the jaw. COLE That's the Biff Upper Lip! Could that be enough? 1... 2... No, two! COACH Apparantly not. COLE Biff has got the 24/7 Champion on the ropes though. Has he got enough in his arsenal to finish Landon off now, without his tag partner by his side? Biff catches Landon on the way up again, keeping the pressure on as he whips Landon into the ropes. As The Next Generation bounces back Biff then aims for the head with another clothesline. Still with enough of his wits about him, Maddix is able to weave underneath again, this time hooking around Biff's powerhouse of a right arm and lever himself up, looking for a crucifix pin attempt. Biff blocks the takedown though and hoists Landon up into a fireman's carry, ready for the Bad Hair Day! Apparantly Megan has done her homework and freaks out... ...until Landon manages to elbow Biff in the temple, strong enough to escape his clutches and land behind Atlas. He takes the head with him for good measure, wrapping on an inverted front facelock. Slamming an arm into the gut, Landon then drops to a knee, dropping the bottom out on Biff! Snapping off of the knee, Biff stays upright, barely. But Landon quickly chains into another move, hooking the head and dropping to one knee again, this time with a short neckbreaker! Biff is still standing, but he's virtually out on his feet and unable to stop Landon from rushing the ropes in front. With a stationary target, Landon comes back and hits a full one and a half turn in mid-air, driving his foot into the face with the Cucaracha Kick, to finally fell Atlas! COLE Fantastic sequence of moves from Landon Maddix. And a lot of resiliance shown too. COACH Yeah, he's a stubborn little... COLE COVER! 1... 2... NOOO!! "YYEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Hanging his head Landon slams his fists into the canvas before taking the count up with Robinson. Megan convinces him to get back on Biff though, Maddix raining in some stomps to keep Biff at bay before backing off and encouraging him back to his feet. "LET'S GO BIFF!" "LET'S GO BIFF!" "LET'S GO BIFF!" "LET'S GO BIFF!" Biff, with the crowd solidly behind him, reaches his feet. He's met with a forearm strike. And another. Make it three. But Biff is still on his feet, so Landon backs off the ropes to get a better run-up on the fourth forearm. Biff remains standing though, so the 24/7 Champion decides on a change of tactic. Maddix takes a step and hops up onto Biff's shoulders for a Hurri-Lanrana... ...BUT BIFF DROPS TO HIS KNEES, STACKING MADDIX WITH A POWERBOMB!! "YYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE COUNT IT! COUNT! 1... 2... 3 -NOOOOO!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE AH, so close!! COACH No way did he kick out! COLE Robinson seemed to hesitate for just a second and that may have been crucial! "THAT WAS THREE!" "THAT WAS THREE!" "THAT WAS THREE!" "THAT WAS THREE!" As Megan tries to regain her breath on the floor, Biff despairs at being so close yet so far from a career making victory. Arguing the count isn't going to do any good now though, so instead Biff brings Landon back to his feet. Scoop and a slam by Biff, planting the Champion in position as Biff cuts the thumb across the throat to singal that it's ovah~! Hobbling over to the corner, Biff then begins to scale the turnbuckles facing out into the crowd. COACH Woah, where's he goin'!? COLE Biff is...is he going for a Moonsault!? I don't think this is too smart, this isn't Biff's area of expertise what-so-ever! COACH But if he hits it, it's OVAH~! COLE I wouldn't doubt that. Biff seems a little unsteady up top and the sensible thing to do would be to cut his losses and climb back down while his vertebrea are still safelt attached. But with the flashbulbs going off around him and the crowd on their feet, Biff seems to be intoxxicated with the reaction and completely caught up in the moment. So he steadies himself, flexing a bicep before veeery carefully standing upright on the top... ...and peforming the crispest backflip you're ever likely to see... *WHAM!* "OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Unfortunately, Landon rolls out of the way and Biff ends up belly-flopping into the canvas! COLE The Biffsault misses!! COACH Never shoulda gone for it. Winded, Biff pushes up off the canvas. But he makes it no further than one knee, before Landon Maddix springs into action... COLE SHINING WIZAAARD~! The knee connects this time, KOing Biff to the delight of Megan and nobody else. And this time, Landon wastes no time in converting the move into the pin... 1... 2... 3!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" *DINGDINGDING!* COLE And that'll do it. Landon Maddix scores the victory in his OAOAST debut, but a valiant effort from Biff Atlas. He just got a little carried away. One big mistake and you can't make that big a mistake against a former World Champion, else you get beat, just like that. Maddix does his best to sugarcoat the victory, acting as if he hasn't even broken a sweat as he pushes up to his knees and poses triumphantly for the crowd. If he could hide the fact he's nursing his neck, it'd be more convincing, but oh well. BUFFER Your winner of the contest...and STILL OAOAST 24/7 Champion... LANDON "LA CUCARACHA"... MMMAAAAADDIIIIXXXXXX!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Megan slides into the ring and begins to celebrate with Landon... ...until suddenly, clapping can be heard over the P.A system. COLE What's that? RODEZ Laaaaaandooooon. Oh, Laaaaaandooooon. "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Suddenly the Lincoln crowd go NUT~!, as the familiar face of LEON RODEZ shows up on the AngleTron! At first Landon seems confused, until Megan points him in the direction of the Tron, at which point Landon becomes in danger of losing it. Leon looks to be cutting this promo from a gas station for some reason. Good a place as any I guess. RODEZ Yooooooooo hoooooooooooooooo! Landon Maddix, well well well. Never thought I'd be addressing you, but here we are. Now, I've taken the liberty of cutting a couple of promos here on the road to Miami because to be honest, I don't know if you won or not. Assuming you're hearing this one, then you did beat Biff Atlas and for that I congratulate you. Not least because that leads us to AngleSlam, for the 24/7 Title. Rodez takes a bite out of his Snickers and chews. And chews. And regrets taking a bite out of it, because it's going to double the time he'd planned on spending on this promo. RODEZ After what you did to me a couple of weeks ago, people might think I'm a little stock-crazy to have signed up to wrestle you at AngleSlam. A barbed wire bat to the face shouldn't leave you wanting more. But this time, it'll be different. It'll be one on one and I'll be expecting you. Bruce'll be busy with my comprendé Zack Malibu and Cortez and Bloodshed...hate you. Yeah, see Landon, I've done my research on you. You've been an SWF World Champion, SWF Tag Champion, SWF ICTV Champion, SWF USJL Champion, SWF International Champion, SWF everything champion. You're pretty good. I just hope you've done your research on me Landon. If not, a pointer. One thing you'll find out if you intend on sticking around these parts, is that I'm a notoriously easy going guy. So when you came into the OAOAST and... well basically, you called me out... that was fine with me. You're a great athlete. And you should be a great challenge for me at AngleSlam. Sure, it'd be nice if you'd just asked me for a match instead of shredding the flesh off of my face to get my attention, but hey, different strokes for different folks, I understand. Rodez takes a bite out of his microwave burrito. Less chewy. RODEZ Maybe that's not your intention though. Apparantly, this is about the SWF or the OAOAST or some such manner of deal. So now, I'm representing the OAOAST against the 'evil invaders' all of a sudden. How that happened, I have no honest idea. Either way, I'm more than willing to wrestle you at AngleSlam. So if you want to make this 'SWF versus OAOAST' then that's fine. I'm even willing to compete with you in any of the SWF's finest and purest forms of competion. So, take your pick- Mall Brawl, Calvinball or of course the dreaded Stairway To Panda Match! Landon is, like, so burned but he tries his best to hide it, even going so far as to applaud Leon's undercutting of the SWF's reputation. Mockingly, of course. RODEZ I kid, I kid. Although, if it were a Megan Skye On A Pole Match then I'd be willing to talk. "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" In the arena and ring, Landon and Megan flip out as Leon winks to the camera. RODEZ You talk a good game Landon. You talk the SWF up, you talk the OAOAST down. You're hot on the 'stick' as they say. But talk is cheap. Like I say, I did my research. These claims you make about being this flawless technical wrestler that the entire SWF roster envies aren't fooling anyone. Hell, from what I can tell, none of them even like you. And yet, the more that I think about it, after all your compatriots have been doing to Zack and his family in recent weeks, maybe it's about time I started standing up for him, indirectly as it may be. Looking down at the floor, Leon shakes his head. RODEZ SWF versus OAOAST? So be it. But to me, Landon... it's just gonna you and me, one on one and a chance for me to get my 24/7 Title back. I'm looking forward to a good competitive match at the big show. And if you don't want to give that to me, then too bad. Everything's going crazy around the OAOAST recently and it's hatred and venom everywhere you look. That's not me. No death, no mutilation, I'm going to settle for taking my title back and shutting your mouth. Another bite of the burrito allows time for the crowd to applaud on Leon, messing with Landon as he yells at them to 'pipe down'. RODEZ Prepare For Landon? Already done. Landon, you'd better Prepare... For Leon... ...wait, that's terrible. Ugh! (hangs head) Just...just cut. God, that sucked! Leon skulks off past the gas pumps mumbling in disappointment, as eventually the handheld feed cuts to static. Left in the ring, Landon watches the blank Tron for a moment before snatching his 24/7 Championship and holding it overhead for the Lincoln crowd one last time. COLE Landon Maddix, Leon Rodez, 24/7 Title this Sunday at AngleSlam. I can't wait. COACH Word. (FADE) Ominous music plays as we see “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican attacking Thunderkid at Living Anglelously. NARRATOR It started because of the World Title. Cut to the June 1, 2006 OAOAST HeldDOWN~!, and Tha Puerto Rican’s interview. THA PUERTO RICAN So, in order to get a title shot, I’m willing to do anything and everything. And by anything, I mean attack Alf’s friend, Thunderkid! NARRATOR But has turned personal. We see footage from OAOAST Syndicated where Tha Puerto Rican and Thunderkid brawled all the way into the backstage area. COLE PRL and Thunderkid are fighting, and nobody’s going to stop them! Super fast intense music plays as we see clips of Tha Puerto Rican and Thunderkid in action, against other opponents and against each other. NARRATOR Now, from the American Airlines Arena in Miami, Florida, two men will settle their blood feud, ONCE AND FOR ALL. THUNDERKID I’ve had it with you! I’m sick and tired of this bull(BLEEP)! I want a match! I want one more match against you! Cut to “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican posing in the rain. NARRATOR “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican… Cut to Thunderkid posing in the rain. NARRATOR vs. Thunderkid… Cut to a steel cage inside an empty arena. A spotlight shines on the cage. The camera zooms in on different parts of the steel cage. NARRATOR in an “I Quit” Match inside a Steel Cage! More footage of PRL and Thunderkid fighting each other is shown. COLE What a match! COACH I think Thunderkid might be a little out of it. Does he realize what he’s just done? NARRATOR This will be THE FINAL CONFRONTATION! Footage of Tha Puerto Rican and Thunderkid fighting each other is shown, interspersed with clips of PRL and Thunderkid posing in the rain and with close-ups of the steel cage. COLE This will be one hell of a match! P.R./Thunderkid, The Final Confrontation, “I Quit” Match inside a Steel Cage! We now see the title card letting us know the information about AngleSlam 2006, along with the typical CALL YOUR LOCAL CABLE OR SATELITE OPERATOR TO ORDER NOW! angleslam.oaoast.com NARRATOR Chef Boyardee presents OAOAST ANGLESLAM! Sunday, August 27th at 8:00 p.m. est/5:00 p.m. pst only on pay-per-view! Call your local cable or satellite operator to order now! Cut to Thunderkid’s last words on the August 10, 2006 episode of OAOAST HeldDOWN~!. THUNDERKID Prepare to bleed at AngleSlam! The super fast intense music ends. UP NEXT: Alfdogg vs. Hoff for the title! Commercial break
KingPK Posted August 25, 2006 Author Report Posted August 25, 2006 COLE Three days to go until the hottest night of the summer, AngleSlam 2006 promises to be a heated night in more ways than one. COACH Oh no doubt. It's been a crazy environment around here these past few weeks, all leading to Sunday night. COLE A lot of personal issues to be settled and a lot of pride on the line, plus five titles to be decided. And who knows, we might end up adding some more stuff in the meantime, just to give you your dollar's worth. Here's what's on tap as of right now for AngleSlam... !~OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP~! -ALFDOGG © VS. DREK STONE- COLE ...headlined by this big main event. Assuming he gets past Hoff tonight, Alfdogg defends the World Championship against the BattleBowl winner and former World Champion in his own right, Drek Stone. COACH But if he loses, it'll be Hoff versus Drek, right? COLE Right, but... COACH Man, that'd be an awesome match! COLE Coach, we're supposed to be selling what's actually on the show, not what might be on the show. COACH Oh. Yeah. Either way, Drek's more than likely gonna be the new champ, that's worth your money folks. !~NO RULES NECCESSARY~! -ZACK MALIBU VS. BRUCE BLANK- COLE The most personal issue in the OAOAST today, perhaps ever, Zack Malibu finally gets his hands on Bruce Blank and it's No Rules Neccessary! COACH Zack's been stewing for weeks now, itching to get this match. No rules, usually, would be Bruce's kinda match, but if Zack's willing to pull a gun on the guy then who knows what he'll do at AngleSlam when it's all nice and legal. COLE Except guns. !~24/7 INTERPROMOTIONAL DREAM MATCH~! -LANDON MADDIX © VS. LEON RODEZ- COLE The 24/7 Title the backdrop for an historic first-time meeting. COACH I've gotta admit, Landon looked pretty good tonight. But the SWF winning over the OAOAST at our AngleSlam event is unthinkable. COLE Landon's been very vocal, claiming that he will embarrass this company by beating one of our hottest prospects at the second biggest show of the year, in his OAOAST PPV debut. But Leon Rodez isn't 'one of our hottest prospects' for nothing and hopefully, Landon will find out why this Sunday. !~TRIPLE THREAT TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH~! -THE HEAVENLY ROCKERS © VS. BLACK T VS. THE SOONER BRUISERS- COLE A lot of issues in this one, Black T are after The Heavenly Rockers Tag Team Titles. But now, the added distraction of The Sooner Bruisers has complicated that. The question is, can Logan control his temper when confronted by the men who crashed his wedding day, or will his anger cost his team the belts. COACH Logan and Synth'll be out for blood, Black T out for gold and The Sooners just out for themselves. !~I QUIT IN A CAGE MATCH~! -THA PUERTO RICAN VS. THUNDERKID- COACH It's I Quit. Only, in a Cage! COLE And it's the final chapter in a long lasting grudge between these two. Only one way to win, no escape and no chance of The Lightning Crew getting involved. It'll be settled once and for all at AngleSlam. !~MIAMI MAYHEM MATCH~! -LONGDOGGER PETE VS. PETER KNIGHT- COLE And speaking of settling scores, how about this? PK and Longdogger have been going at it for months and it finally comes down to a straight battle between the two. Only, it's under the Longdogger's rules, Miami Mayhem, a match he virtually patented in the SWF. COACH What's a Miami Mayhem? COLE .... !~OAOAST HEARTLAND CHAMPIONSHIP~! -OTAKU II © VS. BROCK AUSSTIN- COACH These two hate each other too. And now it's Falls Count Anywhere, so that's just adds to the potential mayhem. COLE Indeed. Otaku refuses to back down from the man mountain bully that is Brock Ausstin and they go at it one more time over the Heartland Championship at AngleSlam. Can Brock regain the title, or will Otaku fend Brock off once more? !~HI-YAH TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS~! -D*LUX © VS. THE GPX- COLE A battle over titles, but based on jealousy. COACH It's not jealousy, moron! D*LUX are leeching off of The GPX's popularity, The GPX ain't happy. I don't call that jealousy. COLE Well, D*LUX haven't done a thing to warrant the hostility from Static and Jax, but they've been pushed into reaction. The result? Tag action at AngleSlam! !~TAG TEAM WORLD CUP SEMI-FINALS~! -CANADA VS. JAMAICA- -U.S.A VS. LITHUANIA- !~TAG TEAM WORLD CUP FINALS~! - CANADA/JAMAICA VS. U.S.A/LITHUANIA- COLE And even more tag action at AngleSlam, as the Tag Team World Cup draws to a conclusion. Team Heyross of course proudly representing the U.S.A. This is one issue not based on hatred at AngleSlam, although if it comes down to the U.S and Canada, there's nothing but hatred there. COACH Damn Frenchies. COLE Exactly. A big chance for the three non-American teams to carve an OAOAST career out for themselves too and plenty of national pride on the line. COACH Go U.S.A, WHOOOOO! U.S.A! Four More Years! COLE It should be one of the most memorable events in OAOAST history. But right now, the World Heavyweight title about to be on the line, just three days before AngleSlam! Let's go up to Michael Buffer! *DING DING DING* BUFFER LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLadies and gentlemen, this is the MAIN EVENT of OAOAST HeldDOWN~! It is a one-on-one match, for the Heavyweight championship of the WORLD! Tonight, the reigning two-time champion, clashes with another former two time champion. ARE YOU READY? *crowd cheers* BUFFER Lincoln, Nebraska...ARRRRRE YOUUUUU RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREADYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY????? *crowd cheers* BUFFER Then for the thousands in attendance here tonight, and the millions watching around the world...there's only one thing left to say. Ladies and gentlemen...LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLET'S GET RRRRRRRRRRRRREADY TO RRRRRRRRRRRRRRUMBLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE !!!!! *crowd cheers* Hypnotize hits, and the cheers turn to boos as Hoff makes his way out. BUFFER Making his way down the aisle, weighing in at 275 pounds! Tonight, he looks to becoome the first-ever THREE-TIME Heavyweight champion of the WORLD! Ladies and gentlemen, from Minneapolis, Minnesota... HHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF FF!!!!! COACH Oh man, could you imagine Hoff vs Drek Stone headlining AngleSlam? COLE I'd rather not. COACH It could happen! Hoff walks around arrogantly in the ring, as Magnum Opus hits and the crowd cheers as Alfdogg makes his way through the curtains. BUFFER His opponent, weighing in at 240 pounds...he is the reigning TWO-TIME Heavyweight champion of the WORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRLD...ALFDOGG!!!!! Alf makes his way down to the ring, and slides in, where Hoff attacks immediately! *DING DING DING* Hoff hammers away on the back of Alf, then picks him up and whips him into the ropes. Alf ducks a clothesline, and catches Hoff with a flying bodypress! However, instead of going for a pin, Alf hammers away on the head of Hoff! COACH Come on, referee! Alf finally gets off, and Hoff retreats into a corner. Alf follows, and delivers some more right hands! However, Hoff fires back, eventually getting the better of a slugfest. Hoff then turns Alf around in the corner, and starts to drive in knees to the midsection. COACH Alf made a big mistake trying to trade blows with Hoff! Hoff whips Alf HARD across the ring, and Alf drops to his knees holding his back in pain. Hoff follows, taunting the crowd at the same time, drawing boos. He picks Alf up once again, and fires off rights. Hoff then whips Alf across once again, and comes flying in with a knee...but Alf moves out of the way! COLE And now Hoff making the mistake, and he's in pain! COACH Oh, no! And you know Alf's going to feast on this! Hoff hobbles out of the corner, and Alf follows him around, delivering a kick to the back of his leg! Alf waits for Hoff to get up, and again kicks his leg (out of his leg, lol)! Hoff gets to his feet, and Alf sends another kick to the leg, then grabs it, and applies a FIGURE-FOUR~! COLE And Alf with a submission hold early! COACH Hang on, Hoff! Hoff writhes around in pain as the crowd is going crazy, and the referee asks if he wants to give it up. Hoff declines, but lays on his back, and the referee counts... 1... 2... Hoff sits up! Hoff fights for a few seconds more, and lays back again. 1... 2... Hoff sits up, then starts to pull his way towards the ropes. Hoff scoots and grabs the bottom rope with both hands, and the referee breaks the hold. COLE Hoff escapes, but who knows how much damage was done to that knee? As Hoff struggles to his feet, Alf grabs the leg once again, then trips him up, and drops an elbow to the leg! COLE And Alf relentlessly going after the leg, smart move on his part, he's giving up a lot of size here! Alf drops another elbow, then allows Hoff to get to his feet, before tripping him up once again, and dragging him out to the ringpost! The crowd roars as Alf looks out to them, then slams the leg against the STEEL~! post! Alf grabs the leg once again, then twirls his finger around, as the crowd goes NUTS! COLE Uh-oh... COACH Oh, come on...referee! Get out there and do something! However, Hoff manages to use his legs to Alf forward into the post! Hoff gingerly scoots out of the corner and favors his knee, then scoots across to the opposite corner, dragging the leg along. Alf shakes the cobwebs off and rolls back into the ring, stalking Hoff into the corner. Hoff scoots around to get away, until Alf catches him on the ropes. Alf hammers away on Hoff until the referee separates them, then when the referee moves, Alf charges Hoff...who backdrops Alf HIGH over the top to the floor! COACH There you go, baby! COLE Wow, that was a long fall Alf took to the floor there, and Hoff has got to rest, but he doesn't want to let Alf get counted out, either! Hoff slowly gets up and limps around the ring, trying to put weight on the knee, as the referee counts. COACH And that's what he's doing, he's walking it off, and he's having some luck with it, it seems! Hoff stops the referee's count, and the referee backs him off. The referee starts his count once again, and Hoff makes his way back over and kicks Alf off the apron. Hof then follows Alf to the outside, and picks him up in a slam...then drops him over the guardrail, folding him in half, and Alf falls the rest of the way over into the crowd! COLE Oh my GOD, Alf may have cracked ribs! COACH Beautiful! BEAUTIFUL, Hoff! Hoff taunts the fans once again, then rolls back into the ring. The referee counts, then midway through, the still slightly-limping Hoff stops the count and goes out after Alf. He grabs Alf in a hiptoss and brings him back over the railing, then stomps away, before picking him up and ramming him into the steel steps! COLE Both these guys very smart, they've damaged a part of the body and stayed right on it! COACH Yeah, but that knee's coming back for Hoff now, Alf's in a world of pain! Hoff rolls Alf back into the ring, then picks him up, and delivers a rib-breaker! He pulls Alf back up, turns, and delivers a second! He then picks Alf up one last time, turning to each side of the crowd and drawing tremendous boos, before delivering a third and tossing him to the mat! COLE It looks like you're right, Coach, Hoff starting to bring the power game into play! Hoff does some more showboating, as Alf tries to push himself back to his feet. Hoff moves over and drops an elbow to the back, then gets up, measures, and drops a second. Hoff then picks up Alf, whips him into the ropes, and delivers a powerslam! COACH That's it! Cover, Hoff! 1... 2... Shoulder up! COLE And that almost WAS it! Hoff picks up Alf, whipping him HARD into the buckles chest-first! COLE And the wind knocked out of Alf right there! Hoff then puts a foot on Alf's chest. 1... 2... Alf shoves the foot to the side. COLE And Hoff's not getting a pin like that, not in a World title match, anyway! Hoff whips Alf into the ropes, and catches him coming back with an abdominal stretch! COLE And a smart hold by Hoff here! COACH No doubt, Alf's taken a lot of punishment to those ribs, and with Hoff's power behind it, we could see a submission right here! Hoff pushes down on the hold, as Alf yells "NO" to the referee. Hoff uses the free arm to hammer the midsection, and continues to crank back. Suddenly, Alf gets a rush of adrenaline, and reverses the hold! COLE And what a reversal by Alf! COACH He'll never hold on, though! Hoff quickly hiptosses Alf to escape, then slowly stomps away, talking trash to Alf in between each stomp. Alf crawls into a corner, and Hoff follows, delivering a right hand...which is returned by Alf! COLE And Alf starting to fight back here! Hoff with another right, returned! A third, same result! Suddenly, Alf starts firing off rights, but Hoff goes to the eyes. Hoff whips Alf across again, and applies the abdominal stretch once again, but Alf manages to grab the ropes, and hiptosses Hoff over the top to the floor! COLE And a big break for Alf right there! Alf gathers his senses, and as Hoff gets to his feet, he's met with a SOMERSAULT PLANCHA~! from Alf! COLE Wow, I don't know how wise it is of Alf to be taking these kind of risks! COACH I'll tell you how wise it is, it's *not*! It's stupid, and it's going to play right into Hoff's hands. Alf hammers away with right hands, then picks up Hoff, and whips him into the STEEL~ post! Alf then rolls Hoff back inside, and hammers away on him. He then delivers a Hart Attack clothesline, and goes to the top... COACH See, here we go again! Hoff gets to his feet, and Alf hits a MISSILE DROPKICK! Cover... 1... 2... NO! Shoulder up! Alf follows with a fisherman's suplex! Cover... 1... 2... NO! Kickout! Alf whips Hoff into a corner, and charges...but Hoff gets his feet up! COLE And Alf stopped cold once again! Hoff lays across Alf, and puts his feet on the ropes! 1... 2... NO! Alf kicks out anyway! Hoff argues with the referee for a bit, then signals for the end! COACH Here comes the FUTURE SHOCK~! And here comes everyone's dream match for AngleSlam! COLE Hoff sets Alf up, and lifts him for the FUTURE SHOCK~!!!!!11111...however, Alf slides behind the back, and delivers a German suplex~! 1... 2... NO!!! Hoff kicks out! Both men slowly get to their feet, and Hoff takes a swing...but Alf ducks, and sets up a belly-to-belly! However, Hoff manages to go behind, shoving Alf into the ropes, and catching him with a SPINEBUSTER~!!!111 COACH That's GOT to be it! 1... 2... 3!!! NO!!! Alf gets a shoulder up! Hoff picks up Alf, and delivers a backbreaker, then goes to the top, taking his time in doing so. COLE Hoff really taking a while here, he better quit wasting time! Alf is getting to his feet as Hoff climbs the buckles, then Hoff comes off the top...and gets leveled on the way down with a SUPERKICK~! COACH Oh, no! Alf gains his senses, then goes to the top himself! COACH GET UP, HOFF~! COLE Alf going upstairs now! The crowd is going crazy, as Alf connects with the FIVE-STAR ALF SPLASH~!!!!!11111 1... 2... 3!!! COACH DAMN IT! *DING DING DING* COLE And it WILL be Alf vs Drek at AngleSlam! BUFFER The winner of the match...and STILL OAOAST Heavyweight champion of the WORLD...ALFDOGG!!!!! Immediately after the announcement, the cameras hastily cut backstage... The crowd stares in shock as the first image the camera catches in the parking lot is Thunderkid desperately trying to crawl towards the lens. With a thick line of blood rapidly trickling from his left eye down the side of his cheek, Thunderkid grimaces as his progress is suddenly halted. Drek Stone grabs a solid hold of his right ankle and gives him a hard yank away from the camera, sending the fans into a hysteric series of jeers. COLE Oh God. What has Drek Stone done?! Thunderkid begins taking deep controlled breaths, trying his best not to inhale any of the flourescent blood squeezing from his wound, but Drek is not the type of man to let him relax. Unbuckling the belt from around his waist, Drek wraps the strap around TK’s throat, tightening it as much as possible. He then places his foot on the back of Thunderkid’s neck and rocks back violently, forcing TK to wildly gasp for air. Thunderkid instinctively flails his arms, trying to reach Drek with a stray punch or two, but he’s in no position to do such a thing. COACH Thunderkid ASKED for this, Cole. He’s asked for it! COLE I can’t believe this! Somebody needs to get back there! Barely grasping onto his Heavyweight Title at this point, letting one end of the leather strap dangle on the mat, Alf stares up at the AngleTron with a distressed look on his face. Meanwhile, Drek grabs a nasty hold of Thunderkid’s hair and forces his victim’s face close to the camera. Now everyone at home can get a look at the busted open carnage that Drek has just inflicted. DREK You started this game, Alf. This could have been avoided! Drek suddenly smacks Thunderkid’s face against the cement floor before picking his head back up by his hair. DREK Because of YOU, I had to suffer one of the most humiliating losses of my career last week. Because YOU felt the need to get involved. What were you trying to prove, Alf? Were you trying to prove that I wasn’t at the top of my game anymore? Were you trying to prove that you had the advantage going into AngleSlam? This time, Drek places his left forearm underneath TK’s neck to prop his head up, then uses his right hand to pepper a hard series of punches across the wounded eye of Thunderkid. DREK Well Alf, this blood is on YOUR hands now. You have nobody to blame but yourself. Exploding with rage, Alf throws his title belt over the top rope onto the steel ramp. He then slides underneath the bottom rope and begins dashing towards the parking lot. Blissfully unaware though, Drek now takes the metal belt buckle and, placing it over his knuckles, starts jabbing it in Thunderkid’s left eye, sending the popular superstar into a screaming fit. DREK This is just a TASTE, TK. This is just a TASTE of what your best friend is going to be getting in the ring on Sunday. You see…. Deliberately, Drek uses one hand to hold Thunderkid’s eye wide open, then uses his other hand to bang the belt buckle against the man’s eyeball. “OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!” DREK You’re keeping your eyesight…. Drek reels back and hits Thunderkid with another shot against the eye! DREK ….maybe…. Now once again, Drek wraps the leather strap around TK’s throat and yanks the belt back viciously, forcing the man to gasp for air once more. DREK But Alf is leaving AngleSlam on Sunday without his belt… Finally, Drek releases his hold on Thunderkid’s neck, allowing his head to sink onto the parking lot floor in a quick moment of reprieve. DREK And maybe his career. With that comment, Drek smiles and moves back onto his feet. He then begins to walk away, but not before firing one more boot against the side of TK’s head. With a slight chuckle, he acknowledges the pool of blood growing underneath Thunderkid’s head before he leaves – and the camera slowly fades to black. Fade to black
KingPK Posted August 25, 2006 Author Report Posted August 25, 2006 CREDITS: Written by: Longdogger Pete Masked Man of Mystery Tony149 Ed Wood Caulfield Stephen Joseph NYUntouchable Alfdogg King Cucaracha Phoenix Fury Legdrop The Man Behind the Curtain: KingPK ©2006 OAOAST Entertainment. All rights reserved. ORDER ANGLESLAM YOU NINNIES!
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