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Man Who Sold The World

The Things That Anger You Thread.

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There was this kid in Arizona (which, by the way, is the lamest state in the fucking union) who would occupy this teen hangout center thing that my buddy and I would hang at when I'd go and visit. Anyway, everytime we played Halo, this fucking kid would come over, TURN OFF THE CONSOLE, laugh, and go stand in the corner, waiting for us to do something. Keep in mind, he's 16 at this time, and we're 19, so legally, we can't do anything.

 

That kid was a piece of shit.

 

 

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When I used to work for Hewlett-Packard, I printed up about a dozen sheets of paper with the header "Do not place labels on these bezels" as a note for the graveyard supervisor. When I came back the next day, I found out that she had gone through all of them with a sharpie pen and crossed out "labels" and wrote in big, capital letters "LABLES". Kinda slapped my forehead in disbelief.

 

One day at work, someone put up signs for the Safety "Comitee". Before the day was out, someone had stuck up a piece of paper pointing out this typo. There was something else spelled wrong, but I can't remember exactly what...it was a work like, thinking, but they had written "thinnking", and the person who stuck up the paper also wrote "thinking has ONE n, not two". I simply could not resist the temptation to highlight both N's in the word, and add "Good job."

 

By another day or two, they had removed all the signs, and replaced them with ones that had committee spelled properly. Before that week was out, someone actually CROSSED OUT one of the m's and one of the t's in committee every time it was used. I was flabbergasted.

 

There's also a bunch of boxes labeled "Distroy". I don't understand why a company like Wal-Mart can't afford a few dictionaries.

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When I used to work for Hewlett-Packard, I printed up about a dozen sheets of paper with the header "Do not place labels on these bezels" as a note for the graveyard supervisor. When I came back the next day, I found out that she had gone through all of them with a sharpie pen and crossed out "labels" and wrote in big, capital letters "LABLES". Kinda slapped my forehead in disbelief.

 

One day at work, someone put up signs for the Safety "Comitee". Before the day was out, someone had stuck up a piece of paper pointing out this typo. There was something else spelled wrong, but I can't remember exactly what...it was a work like, thinking, but they had written "thinnking", and the person who stuck up the paper also wrote "thinking has ONE n, not two". I simply could not resist the temptation to highlight both N's in the word, and add "Good job."

 

By another day or two, they had removed all the signs, and replaced them with ones that had committee spelled properly. Before that week was out, someone actually CROSSED OUT one of the m's and one of the t's in committee every time it was used. I was flabbergasted.

 

There's also a bunch of boxes labeled "Distroy". I don't understand why a company like Wal-Mart can't afford a few dictionaries.

 

Now that I'm back at Wal*Mart, I'm going to agree with you. (I would have agreed anyway, but I'd forgotten a bit): There's a file cabinet by a Wal*Mart house brand that says 'cabient' - this is presumably so in every store in the country.

 

Also, they're spelled 'clearance' and 'safety'.

 

 

I hate it when people mispronounce 'vice-versa' as 'vica-versa'.

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I hate the fact that it's become impossible to find a pinball machine in good working order anywhere.

 

My uncle has suddenly, out of the blue, become a pinball machine collector. When I have the money and the space, he will be able to help me get my hands on a WWF-themed machine at a decent price.

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I hate the fact that it's become impossible to find a pinball machine in good working order anywhere.

 

My uncle has suddenly, out of the blue, become a pinball machine collector. When I have the money and the space, he will be able to help me get my hands on a WWF-themed machine at a decent price.

I'd do that if I ever had the space. You can get good ones on eBay for a couple grand.

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Guest Tzar Lysergic

The local pizza place has a function Elvira pinball machine, and the Simpsons arcade game.

 

WINNERS DON'T USE DRUGS

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People coming in & out of your row at a baseball game, especially during the inning. You want to get out or come in? Do it during the break between half-innings. I had to have gotten up at least 10 times last night at the Phillies game. My buddy also has Eagles season tickets, and he said he doesn't have to get up as much at an Eagles game as he did last night.

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Having a gun put in my face, taking it from a mofucker, and having full rights to blow his goddamn head off but there's women and children around.

 

That shit's fucking infuriating. I'ma go smoke a half ounce to the head and marinate.

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Guest Smues

I hate when I'm trying to read users reviews of something i'm interested in purchasing and most of the reviews are people who haven't even used the product. I see that shit at Cnet.com a lot. It's always shit like:

 

"1/10 - I can't even find it in stores. Why did they make it so hard to buy?????"

"10/10 - Apple does it again. I can't wait until this comes out as it looks awesome!!!"

"1/10 - It's Sony, I'm sure it sucks"

"10/10 - I own the previous generation of this and it rocks. This new one must rock too"

"6/10 - I'm interested in buying his, can someone who owns it tell me if it has wi-fi?"

"1/10 - Y IS TEH PRICE SO HI????? WHAT A RIPOF! I WOOD NVR WASTE MY MONEY ON THIS JUNK. WORTHLESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

 

 

 

 

 

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Guest Smues

Commercials, both on TV and radio, for ODS insurance. They literally tell you NOTHING about ODS insurance, other than it exists, and it's called ODS. The TV ones I've seen usually go like this

Employer, hand extended: So you won't take the job?

Job candidate, leaving: Not without ODS.

Then the employer chase the person with their hand extended, trying to get them to accept the job. 'Not without ODS' is repeated several times. As if this wasn't stupid enough there's a radio ad that nearly had me crashing my car to dull the pain it was causing my brain. I don't remember the names so let's say it's Jack and Jill. It goes something along these lines:

 

Jack: Jill, marry me.

Jill: Jack, not without ODS.

Jack: Jill, we've discussed this before, let's get married.

Jill: Jack, not without ODS.

And it goes on and on and has lines like

Jack: Jill, we're in Europe and all your family has come here to watch us get married.

Jill: Jack, not without ODS.

Jack: Jill, we're currently in the chapel right now down the aisle, let's get married.

Jill: Jack, not without ODS.

NOT WITHOUT ODS, NOT WITHOUT ODS, NOT WITHOUT ODS, nOT WITHOUT ODS. I'm serious when I say this ranks right up there with 'Head on, apply directly to the forehead."

 

And after the last NOT WITHOUT ODS there's no narrator or anything to explain what the fuck ODS is. Fuck that company, whoever they are.

 

Edit:

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People coming in & out of your row at a baseball game, especially during the inning. You want to get out or come in? Do it during the break between half-innings. I had to have gotten up at least 10 times last night at the Phillies game. My buddy also has Eagles season tickets, and he said he doesn't have to get up as much at an Eagles game as he did last night.

 

And it's always the same people over and over again. I hate them too

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My wife tripped a fat guy at the Cung Le/Frank Shamrock fight because he kept walking through the aisle, then stopping to look at the ring. She put her foot out at just the exact moment for the douchebag to assume it wasn't her. He spilled his extra large popcorn all over these "AZN Gangstas!~!!" and didn't even apologize.

 

That brings me to my next topic: Fuck fat people.

 

The seriously overweight ones that are overweight because they eat too fucking much, not the ones who have are just big or something. I fucking hate "fat because I can be" people. The men are always assholes and the women are always cunts. Also, Who the fuck decided they have to do EVERYTHING slowly?! Sure, I get that since their cankles will snap if they walk too fast, they can't do that, but you would think these fat fucks would drive faster, ya know? It's like, "Hey! We don't move quickly ever, so let's use this opportunity of being in a vehicle to go fast!" But nooooo. The fat pieces of shit go, like, 15 miles under the speed limit, which is just as fucking dangerous as going 15 miles OVER. AND, whenever I see them in Safeway, where I'm buying fruit, vegetables, salad, and shit to remain healthy, they're buying 24 packs of Coke, huge ass sausages filled with cheese (which ARE very good), and assorted other crap, and THEY look at ME like I'M the idiot! One lady even said, "Whoa, Mr. Health food! Got enough salad?"

 

I had TWO bags of salad.

 

Fucking fat people.

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People that try to act like a badass when they know there's no chance of a fight ever happening.

 

Today I'm driving and these two guys drive by and one flips me off out the window for whatever reason, I really couldn't figure one out.

 

So I just keep driving and they slow down so they can get beside me and they're both staring at me and it's irritating so I finally just look over and go "What the fuck are you staring at?" and the guy in the passenger seat hangs out the window and throws his arms in the air and goes "What motherfucker? What?" and is doing the whole chest beat "What?" thing hanging out a car window! I start to veer into his lane to where my car is about to hit there car, and his eyes get about as wide as saucers and he falls back into the car and they speed off.

 

Now what the hell were they trying to accomplish? Did they just want to put on a macho display or did they want me to follow them to some parking lot to throw down? It was about as bad as someone typing threats out in an e-mail to someone you know you'll never ever meet.

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And THAT brings me to my topic!: I hate Indian people. ALL of them. They're all the same. They always REEK of curry and other god-fucked spices that smell like the bloated, sun-cooked body of a dead transient intermingling with the worst that Italian preserved meat has to offer. The heads on these people bobble around like a truck running the Baja. It's like, HELLO! I havn't even told you what's wrong with my printer yet, why are you nodding? Plus, the women look like decloaked Jawas. Plus, I'd rather fuck a box of thumbs than listen to their music. Plus they're all so IN YOUR FACE about being Indian. I'm fucking tired of it. The other day, I pushed an Indian into the path of an oncoming car, and they jumped 30 feet in the air. That's another thing that bugs me about Indians! Oh, and did I mention the smell? The women are the worst! I mean, the guy's already smell like a boxcar full of dead Greek longshoremen, add in the odor of cunt, chickpeas and unwashed, crispy linens, and you've got the women. Jesus.

 

I had TWO bags of salad!

 

Fucking sub-continents.

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I hate the fact that it's become impossible to find a pinball machine in good working order anywhere.

 

Come to new hampshire, we'll take an hour drive, then I'll blow your mind.

 

 

 

 

 

 

...

 

 

it's a trip to FunSpot, not an offer for a car BJ. Just so we're clear.

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People who show up unreasonably early for their appointments. This has happened to me twice in the past week. I'll be in the midst of setting up the studio for their stupid photo shoot and they'll show up twenty minutes before they were scheduled to be there, standing with their arms crossed and tapping their feet and staring at me while I'm in the middle of rearranging equipment, trying to gauge the light, etc. It's really understated how annoying people like that can be.

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People coming in & out of your row at a baseball game, especially during the inning. You want to get out or come in? Do it during the break between half-innings. I had to have gotten up at least 10 times last night at the Phillies game. My buddy also has Eagles season tickets, and he said he doesn't have to get up as much at an Eagles game as he did last night.

 

And it's always the same people over and over again. I hate them too

 

The worst thing is at basketball games when pepole wait until 2 minutes into a TV time out to decide to get up and they never wait for a stopage in play when they come back.

 

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idiots make me angry, especially ones that don't realise that they're stupid.

 

no matter how many times they get told.

 

And then they go on to rant about how much money they make, and how great their job is, even though they're just sitting in a fucking chair swiping barcodes through a til.

 

Twats

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So they're telemarketers who act like they're hot shit. Why do you classify these people as "buddies" and not "murder victims"?

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And? I always make sure to have a little spring clean of my buddies. Cull the ones that fall below my expectations, etc.

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EDIT: And why should I do that? I don't think of myself as above any of my friends, so culling them isn't exactly an option for me. When they get out of hand with their "Yeah! We're like Entourage!," I laugh at them, and the night continues. It'd be the exact same if I got all pretentious about working with autistic kids, they'd bring me down a peg.

 

Of course, maybe I'm not as cool as the rest of you.

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I'm angered at the new Burger King commercial, with the dudes rapping thier order. It's a really shitty rip off of a youtube video of a guy doing the same thing only at a Mcdonalds drive thru.

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