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Man Who Sold The World

The Things That Anger You Thread.

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I wanted to stab a bitch at work today.

 

We have corn on sale, and I had just finished filling a four foot display and was tossing the empty boxes away when I get a page. I answer.

 

Me: Yo.

 

Checker: Do we have more corn?

 

Me: I just filled it like a minute ago, no way it's sold out.

 

Checker: A lady wants to know if there's more.

 

Me: How much damn corn does she want? A case? It's only a quarter an ear for the first ten.

 

Checker: She didn't say, she just said she wanted more corn and then went over to your display.

 

Me: Aight, I'll grab a case and talk to her.

 

So I grab a case and wheel it out to the full display. A lady in her 50's and her 30 something daughter are picking thru my corn ripping off the husk to look at every ear. (just a tip, that's annoying as fuck)

 

Me: Hi! It's all bi-color so if you are looking for white or yellow you aren't going to find it.

 

Daughter: Oh, this corn just doesn't look good I found one with a bug in it.

 

Me: Oh. I'm sorry that happens sometimes I'll toss that one away, which is it?

 

Daughter: We left it with the cashier.

 

They both continue to rip open my corn. Not just pull it open a bit, but tear the husk all the way off, making a mess.

 

Me: Okay.

 

Mom (indicating the case I had): Is that corn fresh?

 

Me: No fresher than whats out here. I just finished filling it, the cashier was uncertain if you wanted a case, so I brought this out. It's only the first 10 ears that are on sale, after that they are 50 cents each.

 

Daughter: No, we just wanted fresh corn from the back.

 

Me: It's all the same, this corn is no fresher than the ones you are looking at. But if you want to you can look through this case, I'll be right back.

 

I went to grab a cookie and calm down a bit because they were pissing me off, but I could see them going through the case ripping stuff open and just leaving husks on the floor and picking out their ten after opening at least 40 ears. I started walking back over and noticing the corn they'd picked was no better or no worse than the ones they discarded.

 

Mom: Are you hiring in produce? My daughter used to work it.

 

Me: No, we aren't sorry.

 

Daughter: I was really good, are you sure you aren't hiring?

 

Me: We aren't.

 

Daughter: Can I get an application?

 

Me: There's a kiosk at the front of the store where you fill it out and take a personality test. That'll put an application in, and you'll be in the system for a couple months should an opening come up.

 

Daughter: How long does it take?

 

Me: Took me about half an hour, but I'm fast at those things.

 

I left for lunch 2 hours later and she was still on it. The mother was complaining to the service desk girl that I'd mislead them in thinking it only took half an hour. Now I go back to work, I wonder if she's still there.

 

But you don't be a whorish, picky customer, make a huge fucking mess that the employee has to clean up and then ask if you can have a job. That's like retarded.

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So not only will she get a job there, she'll probably end up being your boss.

 

Nah, that personality thing automatically weeds you out if you take too long on it. The cap is like an hour and a half. She'll get dinged and be deemed to be a bad candidate.

 

Also my manager is only the manager because he doesn't want a promotion to Store Director because he doesn't want to move.

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I'm angered at the new Taco Bell commercial, with the dudes rapping thier order. It's a really shitty rip off of a youtube video of a guy doing the same thing only at a Mcdonalds drive thru.

Fixed.

 

I'm angered that you didn't it right the first time ^_^

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EDIT: And why should I do that? I don't think of myself as above any of my friends, so culling them isn't exactly an option for me. When they get out of hand with their "Yeah! We're like Entourage!," I laugh at them, and the night continues. It'd be the exact same if I got all pretentious about working with autistic kids, they'd bring me down a peg.

 

Of course, maybe I'm not as cool as the rest of you.

 

I think this guy's starting to anger me

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I'm angered at the new Burger King commercial, with the dudes rapping thier order. It's a really shitty rip off of a youtube video of a guy doing the same thing only at a Mcdonalds drive thru.

I'm angered that this isn't a Burger King commerical with the Buger King coming up and shooting the two guys who are rapping in the face....then handing them some kinda breakfest burrito.

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EDIT: And why should I do that? I don't think of myself as above any of my friends, so culling them isn't exactly an option for me. When they get out of hand with their "Yeah! We're like Entourage!," I laugh at them, and the night continues. It'd be the exact same if I got all pretentious about working with autistic kids, they'd bring me down a peg.

 

Of course, maybe I'm not as cool as the rest of you.

 

I think this guy's starting to anger me

 

Naw, he's not so bad. Just bitches a lot about nancy shit. Everything I've seen outside of this thread has been aces.

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People who say "oh" instead of "zero."

 

I know what you mean. It gets on my nerves, but every once in a while, I find myself guilty of this. Every time that I catch myself doing it, I stab myself in the torso with a letter opener as an act of penance.

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People who say "oh" instead of "zero."

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

 

But yeah, I'm guilty as well. Mostly guilty of it during my area code, 905, but that's because Niagara switched to ten-digit dialing a few years ago, and EVERYBODY says 'nine-oh-five'.

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Guest Tzar Lysergic

The moron bitch on second shift that pronounces everything wrong.

 

She hurt herself, and said she "tore her tendonents."

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i hate it when they have their little indy wrestling shows in some hole in the wall place, but don't bother to put up at least some little sign that says "wrestling here" or whatnot. drove past the place three or four times. on the last pass i knew where the place was because Jorge Rivera was walking around in front of the place, in his tights, talking on the phone.

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What, not even a Taco Bell? Aw, you'll never get to experience the sensation of eating a taco which is comprised of equal portions of cocaine and feces. One accounts for the taste, and the other for the fact that even someone who has eaten there before will still return and consume more. I have a similar theory about White Castle too.

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Nope, Britains fast food industry consists of McDonalds, Burger King, and to a lesser degree Subway. Nothing else. No variety to our obesity. Bneh.

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What, not even a Taco Bell? Aw, you'll never get to experience the sensation of eating a taco which is comprised of equal portions of cocaine and feces. One accounts for the taste, and the other for the fact that even someone who has eaten there before will still return and consume more. I have a similar theory about White Castle too.

 

Whatever, man, cheese quesadillas and 7 layer crunch wraps are good to eat.

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I'm not saying I don't like it. I've probably eaten a hundred meals at Taco Bell... which means I've spent a grand total of $17.39 there over the course of my life. The queasydillos are indeed yummy in a "we laced this with methadone so we know you're gonna come back" kind of way.

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Jumping back in here to bitch about generic questioning.

 

"What is your best apple?" is a shitty, shitty question. It only leads to me asking like five other questions trying to figure out what you want in an apple. Note: What is your best baking apple? isn't a shitty question, because it gives me at least a direction to lead you in.

 

Also I had some lady berate me because she bought some bagged salad, went and did other errands leaving the salad in the hot car for 4 hours and the salad got all funky. She wouldn't accept a replacement bag eventhough she was the idiot that jacked the salad up in the first place, she wanted a free bag AND a refund. One or the other toots.

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I don't know if I've ever posted about this here...I know I mentioned it at the Pit once. Once, at work, I happened to walk past the bleach aisle, and noticed post-its stuck on all the bottles. I went to check them out, and they read

 

This is an additive

found in cigarettes

 

What are you smoking?

 

I later noticed them covering the battery displays, as well as other various cleaning products throughout the store. It was a fun day.

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Guest Tzar Lysergic

Why does everyone here think they have OCD? That's fuckin' stupid.

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I've met people who actually do have OCD, and they either have to take hours to complete various mundane routines (doing them a particular amount of times), or find it hard to leave a room once they have become comfortable within it. How many TSM posters can actually make claim to that?

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