Love Help for someone who actually listens

[Guest Big Poppa Popick]

Situation:

 

about a month n half ago, starting hanging with a girl.  Things went well, but sadly she's going to pittsburgh for 2-3 months as that's something she's wanted to do all her life.

 

Now, we talked, and decided to just be friends.  A week later, she changed her mind about it, much to my happiness

 

All's well right?  Right now, yeah, we're spending time together every day we have before she leaves next saturday

 

What advice am I looking for?  1, i want to know how you all made LD relationships work or what you did that made it fail so i dont fall into that. and 2, what should i do in the last week we have (and nothing dirty dammit, im doing this thing right for once) left.

 

thanks fellas

[Guest Flyboy]

1.   One both of the times, it really wasn't my fault.  My first ex said she needed "space", my other thought I was cheating on her (which I wasn't).  But, some  advice would be do things together, but not too much to crowd her... be yourself, and things like that.

 

2.  I would say go to movies, go to the beach, go out to dinner.. stay in the house and cook for her... stuff like that maybe.  

 

Hope I could help any.  

[Guest Mark4steamboat]

Talk to her every other day so she doesnt get tired of saying the same thing everyday. If you call her everyday, she will have nothing to say in the beginning so wait 2 or 3 days between each call. If you can, surprise her in Pittsburgh for a weekend or whatever. She will probably dig that.

[Guest TheDames7]

Do NOT go without talking to her for a long period of time.  She needs to know that you're still interested, because her mind will wander....

 

Do NOT date other people while she's gone, it will complicate your situation.  

 

Do NOT convince yourself that something is going on between her and someone else as it will cause trust issues and you'll go insane not knowing.  

 

....When calling her, fit the bill most of the time.  Try and arrange a weekend where you can see her.  Surprises are good, but they can always backfire if she's not where you think she should be.  Send gifts every 3 weeks.  Make sure to pick her up when she gets back.  

 

I'm so disappointed you didn't come to me first

 

Dames

[Guest Mark4steamboat]

Dames is right. Send her gifts but nothing TOO pricey or she will think that you like her too much after only knowing her for a short amount of time and that usually causes a breakup or a slowing of the relationship. Dozen roses and  maybe a bracelet(dont go over $100 and send that towards the end of her stay) should be good to send her. Good luck, hope it works out.

[Guest Big Poppa Popick]

good ideas

ill continue to update this thread as the situation warrants

 

will be seeing a movie with her tonite, shes getting a single pink rose...

then 3 nights of dancing and a nice meal to send her off..

[Guest Mark4steamboat]

Mac Big Poppa Mac...

best of luck to you; she should enjoy the rose.

[Guest Big Poppa Popick]

yeah so, remember im an old school guy, <--also 22, so not a youngun

movie was sum of all fears, very good...

and she liked the rose afterwards, she was suprised to say the least...

alls well tonite...

gotta be sumtim better than flowers i think it up or one of you all will

[Guest dreamer420]

the only thing i have ever gotten from long distance relationships was some big bills.  there are great moments like when you haven't seen that person for a period of time and then you get to spend time with then but it always comes to an end too.  this is a girl you have known for a month and a half so unless it was love at first sight I wouldn't go too over board.  show her a good time and have some fun with her but keep it reasonable.

[Guest Zack Malibu]

BPP, I sympathize with you, because I'm going to go through the same thing, only a little worse...

 

My girlfriend (we've officially been together since Dec., but we dated off and on since last summer leading up to that fateful day when it became "official") is going away to school in Sept.  Luckily, it's only the next state over, and the drive to see her isn't that bad.  I just know that I won't be able to be with her as often as I'd like.  I'm already going nuts over not being able to see her, because she's not only my g/f, but she really is my best friend.  It's been a year since we first met, and we've talked at least once on the phone pretty much every day, even before we became a full-fledged couple.  She knows everything about me, and I could tell her anything without her passing judgement.  I know that I won't have the benefit of talking with her every day in Sept.  I've seen people give up on their long distance relationships when it became too much too handle, but I also watched my best friend survive through one, and his relationship is better than ever now that he's home.  My g/f and I have already had "The Talk" about this situation, but we are both determined to make it work.  Just remember, just because the person is in another place, it doesn't have to change your feelings towards them.

[Guest Big Poppa Popick]

very true...

id have to agree...

 

and for the comment about how short a time htis has been going on, weve been friends much longer...

as we both said, the timing sucks, but were gonna try...

 

so keep it positive

thanks fellas, keep em coming

[Guest Some Guy]

Date someone else while she's gone, she'll never know and you won't miss her as much.  

[Guest Big Poppa Popick]

damn, im glad i jobbed you out

[Guest goodhelmet]

ok, first of all, long distance relationships don't work as one of the factors that helps keep a relationship strong is being in close proximity.

 

next, get what you can while you can. If you "like" or "love" her so much then you will follow her. If she likes you, then she will want you to go with her. Then again, if she liked you so much she would make the choice to stay and be with you and attempt to make it work.

 

repeat: long distance relationships do not work .there are exceptions but the RULE is they will not succeed.

 

I am not bursting your bubble but you must understand this is reality.

 

In 2 months, after you get bored, your natural instincts will tell you to find someone else. Do it!

[Guest alfdogg]

damn, im glad i jobbed you out

He still owes me two jobs, you know...  

[Guest Big Poppa Popick]

yeah gotcha, and well, ill need to get will now as well, but dammit he doesnt deliver pizza anymore

 

/sigh

 

in any case, i dont know about the whole if she really cared she wouldnt be going...sometimes u just gotta go with your dreams

 

regardless, things are well...