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OAOAST HeldDOWN~! 10/19/06

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HDLOGOBD.jpg

 

BOOM!

 

BOOM!

 

BOOM!

 

B-O-O-O-O-M!!!!

 

JIVIN JR'

BOOMER SOONER BAH GAWD~! It's HeldDOWN from Oklahoma City FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! This show will remind me of a car wreck on.....whatever major highway goes through this city....BAH GAWD~!

 

COACH

.....Why is he sitting here with us?

 

COLE

Well, we are in Oklahoma tonight and Jivin' JR's was sick of being stored in the OAOAST Inactive Character bin at headquarters, so they decided to let him have a little fun.

 

JIVIN' JR

....slobberknockin' bionic redneck HOSS~! BAH GAWD~!

 

COLE

Ok JR, you gotta go now. Fellas?

 

Two burly security men help Jivin' JR out of his seat and lead him to the back.

 

COACH

Well...that was pointless.

 

COLE

Things have been a little kooky at OAOAST Headquarters this past week or so for some reason and a lot of weird stuff has been happening.

 

COACH

You mean like both Peter Knight and Longdogger Pete disappearing from the face of the Earth after the last PPV?

 

COLE

Who?

 

COACH

Right. Well, we've wasted enough TV time with the intro, so let's just run down the card tonight.

 

COLE

Tonight, two titles are on the line as Jumbo challenges Alfdogg for the Canadian Title and the Sooner Bruisers defend their World Tag Team titles in their hometown against Los Diablos Del Fuego. Also, The 2006 World Cup champions, Team Canada, will be in action. But right now, let's send it to the Voice of the OAOAST, Michael Buffer, to kick us off.

 

"JUST ONE ON ONE

THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT BABY!

JUST ONE ON ONE, THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT!

 

JUST ONE ON ONE

THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT BABY!

JUST ONE ON ONE, THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT!"

 

The boyband stylings of A1's "First To Believe" pump through the arena and with their brief lay-off after the gruelling Hooligan Street Fight a month or so back served, the HI-YAH Tag Team Champions are back on HeldDOWN~! Clad in some bright red, boomer sooner red maybe, denim attire, "Showtime" Shayne and "Tremendous" Tyler jive out from the back with their usual energy. And as ever, beside them is their guiding light, Jade Rodez... chatting away on her cellphone? Uhm, okay. D*LUX aren't worried that Jade is too distracted for the usual pose routine and stride on down the aisle regardless, slapping hands aplenty!

 

BUFFER

Ladies and gentlemen, this non-title tag team contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first... accompanied to the ring by JADE RODEZ! At a total combined weight of three hundred, ninety seven pounds... the reigning HI-YAH World Tag Team Champions... "SHOWTIME" SHAYNE BRAVE... "TREMENDOUS" TYLER BRYANT... they are D*LLLLLLLUUUUUUUXXXXXXXXXXXXXX!!!!!!

 

"YYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

Leaping to the apron, D*LUX fire up the crowd, prompting Jade to plug her free ear with a finger.

 

BUFFER

And, their opponents... first, hailing from Havana Cuba, weighing two hundred fourty three pounds... CARLOS CONCEPCION!

 

Carlos removes the Cuban cigar from his mouth and jaws with the crowd, earning him a little bit of backlash.

 

BUFFER

And his partner. From Rio de Janeiro, weighing two hundred and twenty pounds... RICO DE JANEIRO!

 

Rico gets a slightly better reception, but doesn't seem all that quick to respond. Across the ring, D*LUX turn back to ringside and drop to a knee each, ready to hoist Jade up in that cute, manufactured way they do. But Jade is pre-occupied on the phone, so D*LUX just set about entering the ring.

 

COLE

We saw Concepcion representing Cuba in the Tag Team World Cup in July and he's back tonight, with a fancy new cigar it seems. And he's teaming with Rico de Janeiro, who was humiliated by Theodore Moneymaker a few weeks back by being forced to kiss his feet, but looking to put that behind him.

 

COACH

He hopes.

 

COLE

A second chance for both it would seem, up against the two-time HI-YAH Tag Team Champions, returning to the ring for the first time since that memorable Hooligan Street Fight against The GPX. Titles not on the line remember, D*LUX being given the chance to ease back into OAOAST competition.

 

 

*DINGDINGDING!*

 

The bell sounds and it'll be Concepcion to start it out, with "Tremendous" Tyler. On the outside Jade has parked herself on the steel steps, facing away from the ring as she continues her conversation, breaking away long enough to give Tyler an encouraging thumbs up.

 

COACH

Who do you suppose Jade is on the phone too?

 

COLE

Well, my hearing isn't that great, but if it helps you narrow the field down, it isn't me and it isn't you.

 

COACH (annotating)

Not.....me. Right.

 

Tyler measures up his larger, Cuban opponent, looking for a lock-up. A knee to the gut cuts him off though, as the big Cuban grabs a handful of hair and drags Tyler up to face him, grinning away as he BLOWS CIGAR SMOKE IN HIS FACE~!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

COLE

That's plain unhygenic!

 

Away reels Tyler, apparantly not used to the smell of a fine Cuban smoke like Carlos. The distraction allows Carlos to land a big right hand, and a second, before shooting The Tremendous One off into the ropes. A duck of the head from Concepcion comes too early though and allows Tyler to baseball slide through between the legs, popping up behind and vaulting up onto Concepcion's shoulders. Carlos tries to maintain his balance, but fails, as Tyler tumbles forward with a Victory Roll...

 

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

No!

 

Headlock is applied by Tyler and he makes the exchange with "Showtime" Shayne. Tyler wrings out the right arm of Concepcion as Shayne comes off the top with a double axehandle, taking over with the arm wringer into the wristlock. Out steps Tyler, but another quick tag brings him back in, off the top with the axehandle much like his partner. Tyler again wrings the arm and goes from a wristlock to an armbar.

 

COLE

D*LUX as we said, looking to ease themselves back in tonight. A little ring-rust to knock off maybe and they're keeping the pace pretty slow to being with.

 

That tactic may prove to be a mistake however, as Tyler doesn't have the strength to really do much with damage to Concepcion with the armbar. A knee to the gut sets Tyler up, Carlos grabbing a handful of hair to help lever his boyband opponent into the ropes. Shayne complains in vain, as Tyler is shot off the ropes and knocked down with a big shoulderblock!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

 

Despite her charge's plight in the ring, Jade is laughing away on the steps.

 

COLE

Tag is made and in comes Rico de Janeiro...

 

COACH

You don't suppose she's talking to BO~! do you?

 

COLE

Could be. Why don't you go ask her?

 

COACH

Nah, that'd be rude. You think they're sleeping together?

 

COLE

*groans*

 

Wrapping the arms around the well-toned waist of "Tremendous" Tyler, Rico pops the hips and executes a Gutwrench Suplex. Cover follows...

 

 

1...

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

Kickout.

 

Bringing his opponent right back up, Rico scoops Tyler up and plants him with a slam in the centre of the ring. Pinning Tyler down, Rico then leaps off the canvas and drops the leg, leaving it there as the referee slides in...

 

 

1...

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

Kickout.

 

With a front facelock applied, de Janeiro brings Tyler back up to his feet. A clubbing forearm across the shoulder blades buckles The Tremendous One's resolve, a second dropping him to one knee and making sure he's ready for a high vertical suplex from Rico! Rolling through to his feet, Rico kicks the arms to the side and smoothes down the PORNO 'STACHE~! before coming off the ropes with a knee...

 

 

...MISSES!

 

COLE

Too much time focusing on the facial hair there.

 

Rico rolls through to his feet and catches Tyler on the ropes, sending him off with an irish whip. A naive move seeing as how Tyler just countered his last move. And sure enough Tyler glides underneath Rico's clothesline on the rebound, ducking the elbow on the follow up and nailing Rico with a Leaping Clothesline!

 

"YYEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!"

 

COLE

Big impact there. D*LUX looking to pick the pace up a little now.

 

COACH

Does Jade even know there's a match going on?

 

With a tuck and a roll, Tyler tumbles to the corner and makes the tag to Shayne Brave! Quicker than you can say "It's Showtime", Showtime Shayne ascends to the top and soars in with a Flying Clothesline, wiping Rico out! Shayne then scrambles up and dropkicks Concepcion, knocking him off the apron to the floor. The charging de Janeiro takes a drop toehold and eats mat. He seems more worried about the porn 'stache though, distrcting him from D*LUX running the ropes either side of him and sandwiching the head with stereo dropkicks!

 

COLE

New Kicks On The Block!

 

COACH

I hope Rico's getting more than the $100 he was getting paid last time out. That could be some expensive dental work right there.

 

Tyler quickly exits the ring, while his legal partner makes the cover...

 

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

No!

 

As he climbs to his feet, Shayne takes a quick detour and lands a baseball slide on Concepcion. Shayne then makes the tag to bring Tyler back in, catching Rico with an inverted atomic drop as he gets back up. Holding onto the waist, Shayne keeps Rico in position as Tyler runs the ropes...

 

 

*SMACK!*

 

...and lands the Yakuza Kick, hitting D*LUX's homage to Paula Abdul, the Opposites Attract! The roll-up seems to be about to follow. But Shayne isn't the legal man, so keeps rolling out of the ring, while Tyler waits crouched in a neutral corner.

 

COLE

He's just measuring him...

 

COACH

Maybe Jade's leaving a message on my answering machine.

 

COLE

Would you concentrate on the match!?

 

COACH

She's not!

 

Rico staggers back to his feet. Dazed and confused, he turns in search of Tyler. And he gets more than he bargained for, as Tyler blasts him with a Spear and floats right over into the jacknife pin...

 

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

3!!

 

*DINGDINGDING!*

 

COLE

The Merry Tyler Gore Show, ends it for D*LUX who make a successful return to the ring!

 

BUFFER

Ladies and gentlemen, your winners of the match... D*LLLLLLLLUUUUUUXXXXXX!!!

 

"YYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!"

 

Hearing the announcement, Jade quickly tells 'Mel' to 'hang on a sec' while she applauds her team for a job well done. Tyler and Shayne celebrate amongst themselves as Jade then resumes her phone conversation as if nothing had happened, guided off by the delighted D*LUX.

 

COLE

Well, I guess from that, she was talking to Melody Nerdly.

 

COACH

Gossiping. Women, tsk!

 

COLE

Obviously Jade wasn't too worried about her team's plight tonight.

 

COACH

Or she just didn't care.

 

COLE

I can safely say that's not the case. Whatever, it doesn't matter as D*LUX picked up the victory even without their manager's undivided attention and they look as good as ever. We'll be back with more after this break.

 

Commercial break

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COLE

We're back on HeldDOWN from Oklahoma City........

 

Tom Sawyer hits, and boos fill the arena as Team Canada is led to the ring by Team Heyross.

 

COLE

.....and we've got some more great tag team action coming up Let's go to Michael Buffer!

 

BUFFER

The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall! Making their way down the aisle, accompanied by their manager, Rick Heyross, at a combined weight of 485 pounds...the team of "AFTER HOURS" FELIX STRUTTER and KEN PANTERA, TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNADAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

 

COACH

The best tag team in the World, Cole!

 

The sound of ambulance sirens whirr through the arena, with red strobes around the entrance way. Bad Case of Loving You plays, and the Love Doctors walk through the curtains.

 

COLE

And it's the former HI-YAH tag team champions, the Docs!

 

BUFFER

Their opponents, hailing from Chicago, Illinois, at a combined weight of 456 pounds...DOCTORS STEVEN PIGLEY and MAX ANDERSON, the LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 

OOOOOVVVVVVVVVEEE DOCTORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!

 

The Docs climb into the ring and disrobe, and the referee calls for the bell.

 

*DING DING DING*

 

Pigley starts off with Felix Strutter, and the two circle the ring. Pigley goes in for a tieup, but Strutter takes him over with an armdrag! Pigley slowly gets to his feet, and the two circle the ring again. Another tieup attempt, and this time Strutter delivers a knee to the gut, followed by a European uppercut, sending Pigley to the mat.

 

COLE

And Felix Strutter getting the early advantage on Dr. Steven Pigley!

 

Strutter picks up Pigley and delivers a gutwrench suplex, then backs into the ropes, but Pigley rolls out of the way and dodges the elbow!

 

COLE

Strutter telegraphed that move, and it cost him!

 

Pigley then fires off on Strutter, delivering right hands. He then whips Strutter into the ropes, and catches him with a BIG right to the gut, before rolling him up in a reverse sunset!

 

1...

 

 

2...

 

 

Kickout!

 

COLE

First cover of the match, and Pigley gets two!

 

Strutter backs into his corner, and tags Pantera, who charges in and gets caught in an armdrag right away! Pigley bars the arm and tags Anderson, who goes to the top rope and drops a chop!

 

COACH

And quick tags here by the Docs, that's what they've got to do!

 

Pantera blocks an Irish whip, then attempts a short clothesline, but Anderson ducks, and drills Pantera with a dropkick! He then grabs Pantera in a side headlock. Pantera pushes off, then drops down, as Anderson hops over right into a knee from Strutter!

 

COLE

And Strutter with the cheap shot from the outside!

 

Pantera then clotheslines Anderson to the mat, and covers...

 

1...

 

 

2...

 

 

Kickout!

 

Pantera lifts Anderson overhead in a PRESS SLAM~!

 

COLE

And look at the power of Ken Pantera!

 

Pantera tosses Anderson down to the mat, then tags in Strutter. Strutter whips Anderson into the ropes, but puts his head down, and Anderson delivers a kick before tagging Pigley!

 

COACH

And Strutter letting him off the hook right there, very uncharacteristic!

 

Pigley delivers rights to Strutter, knocking him from the ring. Pantera then jumps in and attempts a clothesline, but Pigley ducks, and hits a dropkick! Pantera then blocks the ensuing Irish whip, wringing the arm and delivering a trapped-arm belly-to-belly!

 

COACH

Beautiful counter by Pantera!

 

Pantera kicks away at Pigley on the mat, then tags in Strutter. Strutter stomps away, before picking up Pigley and hooking him in a front facelock, walking up the buckles and spinning around into a TORNADO DDT~!

 

COLE

And a tornado DDT by Felix Strutter!

 

1...

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

Kickout!

 

Pantera tags back in, and lifts Pigley in a vertical suplex, holding him with one arm!

 

COACH

Look at this!

 

Pantera lets him drop, and covers...

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

Shoulder up!

 

Pantera then picks up Pigley and whips him across the ring, then charges...and runs right into a big boot!

 

COLE

Right into the foot of Dr. Steven Pigley!

 

COACH

And Pigley had better make a tag here!

 

Pigley crawls over slowly, and is able to tag in Anderson!

 

COLE

And he does!

 

Anderson hammers away on Strutter, but Strutter goes to the eyes. Strutter goes for an Irish whip, which Anderson reverses, and hits a AA SPINEBUSTER~!

 

COLE

Big spinebuster from Dr. Max Anderson!

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NO! Shoulder up!

 

Anderson hits Strutter with a dropkick, sending him out of the ring! Pigley then comes back in and hits Pantera, sending him out on the other side! The Docs then run to the ropes, passing each other on the way, and hit STEREO TOPE CON HILOS~!

 

COACH

WHOA!

 

COLE

The Docs FLY~!

 

Fists of fury on the floor on both sides, then Anderson rolls Pantera back into the ring. Pigley joins him, and the Docs deliver the DOUBLE FLATLINER~! Anderson covers...

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NO! Strutter makes the save!

 

Pigley goes after Strutter, and it's a four-way brawl in opposite corners!

 

COLE

Referee's lost control here!

 

The Canadians get the better of the slugfest, then whip the Docs across the ring. Anderson reverses the whip on Pantera, and Pantera is hit with a spinning wheel kick by Pigley!

 

COLE

The legal men are Ken Pantera and Max Anderson...

 

Pigley attempts a monkey flip on Pantera, but Pantera blocks and tosses Pigley right down to the floor!

 

COLE

Oh, and Pigley takes a bad tumble!

 

Pantera catches Anderson from behind, as Strutter goes over to a corner, and delivers a back suplex.

 

COACH

And now Anderson is caught!

 

Pantera sets Anderson up in the corner, then tags Strutter.

 

COACH

They're setting him up here, Cole!

 

Strutter goes up to the top rope, behind Anderson.

 

COLE

If they hit this one, it's over!

 

Pantera climbs to the second rope, and lifts Anderson in a suplex, then falls back, as Strutter grabs the feet and sits out into Anderson's midsection, completing the SUPER GUTBUSTER~!!!

 

COACH

They hit it!

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3!!!

 

*DING DING DING*

 

BUFFER

The winners of the match...TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNADAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

 

COLE

Very impressive showing by the Canadians here, but as the replay will show the Docs didn't go down without a fight!

 

* ROLL REPLAY *

 

Both teams on the offensive. Canadians gain control of the bout. Super gutbuster. 3 count made in slow-motion.

 

* END REPLAY *

 

COLE

Our broadcast colleague Tony Schiavone is standing by in the back with Team Canada. Let's go to him right now.

 

SCHIAVONE

Thank you very much, Michael. As you said, I'm joined by Team Canada and their manager Rick Heyross. Yet another inpressive victory for the awesome team of Felix Strutter and Ken Pantera.

 

HEYROSS

Impressive is our middle name, Tony Schiavone. My men have once again shown why they are the best in the world. They have it all -- power, speed, agility. No other team in this company or in the world can say that. That's why these men, Felix Strutter and Ken Pantera, won the first ever Tag Team World Cup. Not Black T, not the Heavenly Rockers and damn sure not Charlie Moss and Quentin Benjamin, who unfortunately have fallen on hard times as of late, much like this once great country of ours. But don't stop thinking about tomorrow, because you won't be able to remember today after wrestling the best tag team in the sport today, Felix Strutter and Ken Pantera...Team Canada.

 

MAN (Off-Screen)

Hey!

 

HEYROSS

:)

Ah, how nice to see you gentlemen again.

 

The fans watching live in the arena ROAR as the SOONER BRUISERS walk-in.

 

BIG FRANK

Shut your yap, Heyross!

 

"YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

 

HEYROSS

My, did somebody wake up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.

 

BIG FRANK

Yeah, on top of your mother. I would've installed my hardrive in your girlfriend but I found out you have a boyfriend, and that just ain't my thing.

 

HEYROSS

:firedevil:

 

Team Canada stand up for their manager, getting in the Bruisers faces. Uber and Felix go nose-to-nose as Frank tears off his shirt and flaunts his biceps in front of Ken, who returns in kind.

 

BIG FRANK

(to Ken)

Boy, that's Canadian Bacon. This is American made. You ain't want none of this.

 

KEN

(to Frank)

I'll rip your head off your shoulders and use it as a discus!

 

UBER

(to Felix)

Your name reminds me of Felix the Cat. And I hate Felix the Cat.

 

FELIX

(to Uber)

Is that all you got, man?!

 

UBER

No, I also have a fist with your name on it.

 

HEYROSS

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Hold it. Hold it! I'm gonna Frank's comment slide because I can judge talent when I see it, and I don't want Team Canada to hurt you.

 

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

 

FRANK

B-)

 

HEYROSS (CONT'D)

So I'm going to give you the opportunity to say whatever it is you have to say, otherwise I'll just have to let Felix and Ken take out the garbage themselves.

 

BIG FRANK

I've already forgotten what I had to say, so let's just do it the American way.

 

Frank decks Felix! Ken slugs him across the shoulders and the two go at it until Uber gets involved, but not for long. Felix tackles him to the ground and unloads a series of right hands to the temple. Rick Heyross and Tony Schiavone scrambling to get out of harm's way.

 

SCHIAVONE (Off-Screen)

Are we still on? Peter, are we still on? We are? Well, we need help over here and now. It's outta control.

 

The Sooner Bruisers and Team Canada continue to fight. OAOAST officials finally arrive and separate the parties. Rick Heyross immediately grabs Team Canada and flee the scene.

 

BIG FRANK

Hey Rick, I just remembered. The best tag team in the world? Who's got the belts? We do!

 

(FADE)

----------------------------------------------------------

 

5........

 

4........

 

3........

 

2........

 

*Boop*

 

FADE IN on an exterior shot of a large non-descript brick building. The palm trees lining the sidewalk coupled with a car with a California license plate visible in the frame gives you a good idea where we are. We go inside the building, revealing it to be a gym, in the middle of which is a large wrestling ring. Standing in the ring is the same man we saw sipping drinks on the beach last week, James Riggs. This time, he is in a black tank top and sweatpants. He is joined by the same attractive brunette that joined him last week; she is wearing a blue sports bra and tight black Lycra bicycle shorts, a towel around her neck and water bottle in hand.

 

RIGGS

Welcome to my exclusive gym and training center. Last week, I came into your homes and told you that I am the greatest wrestler that you haven't seen. Now, I know that some of you may think that I was simply bragging and being egotistical, but it isn't ego when it is the absolute truth. If you still don't believe me, I've invited you to watch one of my sparring sessions with a highly skilled professional just like.....well, that's impossible, but he's good.

 

NERDY VOICE (off-camera)

Uh, e-e-e-excuse me?

 

The camera pans over to reveal a lanky, slightly chubby kid, no more than 18 or 19 years old, dressed in a Zack Malibu t-shirt and shorts.

 

KID

I-i-i-i-is this where they give the wrestling lessons?

 

Riggs looks over to his companion and shares a smirk with a look at the camera before he turns to the kid.

 

RIGGS (warmly)

That it is. Come on in the ring and we'll get started. You signed the waiver, right?

 

KID

Yeah, but I don't want to get hurt.

 

RIGGS

Don't worry, you're in good hands.

 

The chorus of Dani California comes up as we see a montage of Riggs absolutely punishing the kid. His technique is mostly technical, chain wrestling, submission and the like with a definite Japanese flavor. We see him unleash hard knife-edge chops into his chest, leaving the kid gasping for air.

 

JAMES

Staci, hydrate me.

 

The woman, apparently named Staci, hops onto the apron and tilts the water bottle towards his open mouth.

 

KID

*Cough* Ca....can I have some w...*gasp*ater?

 

RIGGS

You're fine. *WHAP*

 

After another chop, he grabs his arm and whips him into the opposite corner, the kid slamming into the buckles hard before he slumps a bit.

 

RIGGS

Now, pay close attention to this move because it's definitely the most lethal in my arsenal.

 

Riggs charges forward, the kid wincing in anticipation of what's to come......but Riggs slows to a stop right before he reaches him.

 

RIGGS

That's all the time we have for today. Besides, I'm not going to give everything away in the coming attractions. You did good, keep it up. Here, I'll help you out.

 

Riggs grabs the kid by the hair and sends him sailing over the top rope. He chuckles as the kid groans in pain on the floor before joining Staci in the middle of the ring.

 

RIGGS

I'm sure I changed a lot of minds with that display, but to get the whole package, you gotta wait for me and Staci to make our OAOAST debut next Saturday night at OAOAST Syndicated. Normally I wouldn't lower myself to doing network TV, but you have to start somewhere. See you soon.

 

The couple lean in for a little kiss as we pull away and fade.

 

JAMES RIGGS

COMING SOON

 

Commercial break

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COLE

Welcome back. OAOAST Syndicated seems to be shaping up to be a very good card, almost PPV-caliber. Speaking of, on that very show "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican will go one-on-one with "The Birmingham" Bad Boy" Jamie O’ Hara.

 

The OAOAST Syndicated logo flashes across the screen. We see the match-up graphic for PRL/O’ Hara appear on the screen. The crowd cheers loudly.

 

COACH

This should be a good one. Finally, "The Birmingham Bad Boy" will show The Corporate CHUMP just who the real man is! I can’t wait!

 

COLE

These two men have become embroiled in a feud ever since Jamie O’ Hara threw a towel in the face of Tha Puerto Rican, which caused PRL to attack him.

 

COACH

PRL overreacted to that little joke by O' Hara didn’t he?

 

COLE

I think he was right to feel the way he felt. J-OH was mocking Tha Puerto Rican.

 

COACH

But he didn’t have the right to attack him, right?

 

COLE

Well, you could--

 

COACH

He didn’t have the right to attack him, right?

 

COLE

Uh...

 

COACH

Just say it!

 

COLE

I’m not saying anything! Anyway, Tha Puerto Rican has a few words to say to Jamie O’ Hara, which he said in a pre-taped segment. Here’s the segment. Enjoy!

 

The OAOAST HeldDOWN~! logo flashes across the screen.

 

Cut to a close-up of "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican smiling his creepy Eric Bischoff-like smile. The crowd cheers loudly.

 

"THE CORPORATE CHAMPION" THA PUERTO RICAN

Hi folks. YOUR CORPORATE Champion here, and I’ve got a few things to say to a certain wannabe posuer in the One And Only AngleSault Thread.

 

The camera pulls back to reveal Tha Puerto Rican is standing somewhere in the backstage area. He is wearing his Corporate suit and tie combo, and is with Stephen Joseph Popick (who is also in a suit and tie). Popick smiles and mugs for the camera as Tha Puerto Rican continues speaking.

 

PRL

Jamie O’ Hara, you’re not from Harlem, you’re not from the A-T-L, you’re not from 8 Mile. You’re just an insecure, pathetic, white kid who watched Eminem on MTV and thought, (in a British accent): "I say, I could dress up like that Eminem fellow and people would think I’m a young hooligan!"

 

Popick laughs at this. PR smiles again.

 

THA PUERTO RICAN (in normal voice)

But you’re not fooling anybody J-OH, especially me. See, unlike you, I’ve actually BEEN to the ghetto and lived to tell about it. Unlike you, I’ve dealt with the hard knock life. While you were living in your quiet and nice suburban neighborhood, I was going to school in the roughest part of Puerto Rico, dealing with the toughest kids you’ve ever seen. I got picked on everyday, beaten, spit on, you name it. It took me to the point of suicide, not once, not twice, not even three times, but FIVE TIMES! FIVE TIMES I tried to kill myself because I couldn't deal with my reality. But you know what? I survived. I lived. I kept on fighting. And soon, those kids, the same ones who used to pick on me, started to respect me. The same ones who would push me into lockers wanted to buy me drinks. And you know why? Because they saw what I had become. They saw how I went from nothing to a LEGEND. I left Puerto Rico a loser, but I came back a national hero. I started laying the smackdown on jabronies all over the world, and for that, people started to love me. I’ve gone to hell and back O' Hara, so I know how tough and how painful life can be, unlike someone like you, who listens to some gangsta rap and all of a sudden thinks he’s ultra-super-hardcore-gangsta #1. If anyone deserves the title of "Bad Boy", it’s ME! Not some scrawny kid with an annoying voice. Stop trying to be a hardcore G, and go play golf, Jamie!

 

The crowd cheers PRL. PRL stares ANGRILY into the camera. Popick’s right behind him, nodding with a smirk on his face.

 

THA PUERTO RICAN

Jamie O’ Hara, I have so many things I want to say to you, that I decided the best way to say them would be...through song. Not alot of people know this, but I was quite the rapper back in day in San Juan. People used to call me M.C. Lightning because I ZAPPED anyone who tried to battle me. So, for one night only, I’m bringing M.C. Lightning back, because he has a special message for you, J-OH!

 

PRL brings out a boombox from off screen. He places it on top of a table. PRL then pulls out a cassette tape from his left breast pocket and puts it in the boombox.

 

THA PUERTO RICAN

So, for the millions...

 

CROWD

...AND MILLIONS!

 

PRL

...AND MILLIONS of Tha Puerto Rican’s fans, here’s my song dedicated to one Mr. James O’ Hara. Hit it Popick!

 

PRL pulls out a piece of paper from his right pocket. He unfolds it, and then adjusts his tie. SJP presses play on the boombox.

 

PRL

*Ahem!*

 

The beat to "Paul Revere" by the Beastie Boys starts playing, with PRL rapping to the beat.

 

THA PUERTO RICAN

Nowwwwwwww

Here’s a little story I got to tell

about one bad brother you know so well

It started way back in history

with PRL the leader of The LC

 

I had a little problem with this kid named J-OH

He thinks he is gangsta like the rapper Tony Yayo

 

But J-OH is as gangsta as my man Stephen Popick

 

POPICK

Hey!

 

PRL (CONT’D)

He probably shops at the store Hot Topic

 

J-OH tried to start somethin' with me

All by himself with-out his ho-mies

He must have been insane or high on crack

He got what he asked for when I lay down the smack!

 

POPICK

Word!

 

PRL

He tried to fight back

But he’s just a hack

So he cheated to win by hitting Popick in his nutsack!

 

POPICK

Ugh. Don’t remind me of that.

 

PRL

I know. But, hey, that was a good rhyme wasn’t it?

 

POPICK

Yeah, I guess.

 

PRL

See, I knew I still got it!

 

POPICK

Dude, keep going! The song’s not done yet!

 

PRL

Right. Oh uhh...(PR quickly searches for where he left off on the piece of paper)

 

Now I’ve got Jamie on October 28th

PRL’s gonna make this Syndicated great!

I’m going up against the white Colombian Heat

Beating him should really be an easy feat!

 

I’m the greatest Puerto Rican athlete of all-time

Jamie is as much of a thug as Kevin Federline

O' Hara sucks

He really blows

His name is J-OH but it should be J-HO!

 

After our match is over

your bones will be broken

And that’s the truth, Ruth!

THE CHAMP HAS SPO-KUN~!!!

 

PEACE~!

 

PRL strikes a B-Boy stance, while Popick strikes a pose of his own. The crowd cheers loudly.

 

POPICK

And we out, y’all. Word to your mother.

 

P.R. raises The Corporate Eyebrow when he hears that.

 

PRL

What?

 

Popick looks at PR, as if to say, "What’s wrong with what I just said?" "Paul Revere" by The Beastie Boys, and the segment, ends.

 

The OAOAST HeldDOWN~! logo flashes across the screen.

 

Michael Cole is LMAO. Jonathon "Da Coach" Coachman is just sitting there, blank faced.

 

COACH

That wasn’t funny. That wasn’t clever. That was crap! Did ya hear me? TOTAL CRAP!

 

COLE

Aw come on, Coach! He had some funny lines in there!

 

COACH

We’ll see how funny PRL is when he gets the rap kicked out of him on October 28th! THAT’S going to make me laugh! Not this wannabe John Cena act. GET YOUR OWN GIMMICK, P.R.!

 

COLE

Don’t be too sure that this is a guaranteed O' Hara victory, Coach. PRL has changed since World Without End. He’s definitely the favorite going into this match.

 

COACH

So what? PRL was the favorite to win the World Title at World Without End too! And THAT didn’t happen, and neither will PRL beating J-OH! "Reckless" Drek Stone already proved to the world that Tha Puerto Rican was nothing at World Without End, and now, in two weeks, at OAOAST Syndicated, Jamie O’ Hara is gonna beat Tha Puerto Rican like there’s no tomorrow!

 

COLE

Two talented superstars. Two men who can talk on the mic and back it up in the ring. Two men with growing fanbases. "The Birmingham Bad Boy" Jamie O’ Hara battles "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican in an one-on-one match; Saturday October 28, 2006 on a special 2-hour edition of OAOAST Syndicated live on TSM!

 

*BREEEAAAK!*

 

"Tear Away" by Drowning Pool powers through the arena as we return to the arena in time for the entrance of the seldom seen 2005 OAOAST Rookie Of The Year. Striding from the back with his face hidden by the cloak on his back, Christian Wright stops on the stage and waits for the lyrics of the song to kick in before tearing away the hood of his robe.

 

BUFFER

Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, hailing from Raleigh, North Carolina... he weighs in at two hundred and thirty three pounds. Your 2005 OAOAST Rookie Of The Year... "THE NATURAL"... CCHHHRRRRRIIISSSTTIIIIAAAANN... WWWWRRRRRRIIIIIIIGGHHHTT!!!!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

COLE

Welcome back to Oklahoma City and we are ready for action, as Christian Wright makes his way to the ring. And he is indeed your 2005 OAOAST Rookie Of The Year, although 2006 has so far been quite a disappointment for The Natural.

 

COACH

What do you mean by that!?

 

COLE

Well, he hasn't really lived up to that Rookie Of The Year billing, that's all. He was in the main event at Zero Hour but since then it's been downhill, since losing the HI-YAH Heavyweight Title and his break-up with bodyguard Bohemoth, we haven't seen as much of Christian. Infact, that Rookie Of The Year tag might even be considered a bit of a curse, despite the constant reminders of it by Christian himself.

 

COACH

Harsh dude, harsh.

 

Wright enters the ring and gets the going over from referee Mark Hebner. Meanwhile it's countdown time as "Hung Up" by Madonna begins to play, the stage being covered by one large, holographic DDR stage. Eventually the intro runs to a close and as the song picks up and so does the ACTION~ as the stage is filled with a bevvy of scantily female dancers. The lights in the arena strobe out as The Dance Dance Dragon steps through the entrance doors and busts out some hot ass moves!

 

BUFFER

And his opponent. From Osaka Japan, he weighs one hundred, ninety nine pounds... "THE STRONG STYLE PARTY ANIMAL"... DANCE! DANCE! DDRRRRRRRRAAAAAAGGOOOOOOOOOOONN!!!!

 

"YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

COLE

Back from his tour of Japan, Dance Dance Dragon!

 

COACH

So the S.I.T didn't sacrifice him after all.

 

COLE

The who?

 

Having danced his way down the aisle, Dragon slides into the ring. Off comes the jacket as Dragon is ready to go. Presumably. We can't see his face under the mask (duh!) but one can only presume he's ready to go. Wright watches on from the corner as Dragon watches his dance troupe leave.

 

 

Big mistake, as Christian attacks from behind!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

COLE

Christian Wright getting the jump before the bell can even sound!

 

 

*DINGDINGDING!*

 

Despite the referee's protests, Wright pounds away on the back of The Dance Dance Dragon repeatedly before setting him up for an irish whip. Back shoots Dragon and into a hard back elbow. Down he goes as Wright drops to his knees and follows up with a blatant choke which earns him another reprimand from the ref.

 

"ONE!"

"TWO!"

"THRE...!"

 

CW releases the choke, only to re-apply it...

 

"ONE!"

"TWO!"

"THREE!"

"FO..."

 

Another break by Wright, right on time, keeps him from being DQed but earns him no fans in OK City.

 

COLE

Looks like Wright's got some built up frustrations.

 

COACH

And this dancing fool is on the recieving end tonight!

 

"CHRIS - TIAN SUCKS!"

"CHRIS - TIAN SUCKS!"

 

WRIGHT

SILENCE!!

 

"CHRIS - TIAN SUCKS!"

"CHRIS - TIAN SUCKS!"

"CHRIS - TIAN SUCKS!"

 

Wright puts the boots to Dragon now, stomping The Masked Dance Assassin before getting in the masked man's masked face and reminding him, as if neccessary, that he is the Rookie Of The Year. With a handful of tassels Wright then drags Dragon back to his feet and hangs his arms up over the top rope. A couple of quick punches to the gut soften Dragon up before CW pins back the head and...

 

 

*SLAP!*

 

"WHOOOOOOOO!"

 

...connects with a knifedge chop. Dragon's top absorbs some if not all of the blow though. And being the Strong Style Party Animal that he is, he fires right back...

 

 

*SLAP!*

 

"WHOOOOOOOO!"

 

...with a chop of his own to CW's bare chest!

 

COLE

Now THAT's a chop!

 

 

*SLAP!*

 

"WHOOOOOOOO!"

 

...a second!

 

 

*SLAP!*

 

"WHOOOOOOOO!"

 

...and a third, backing Christian up across the ring and forcing him to go to the eyes. Unfortunately, Dragon's mask has a panel over the eyes, putting pay to that plan and earning Wright a big forearm to the jaw for his insolence! With Wright staggered, Dragon now hits the ropes, coming back with a flying, spinning wheel kick that takes The Natural clean off his feet! Again Wright is left clutching his jaw, but he's got no time to nurse injuries this time, as Dragon follows up with a pin...

 

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

Kickout.

 

Allowing Wright up, Dragon jukes and jives a little before setting up an irish whip. CW spins out in front though, landing a boot to the gut and swatting away Dragon's hand. A forearm eventually follows, Wright loading up Dragon and sending him into the turnbuckles. In he follows... but right into one of The Dance Dance Dragon's dancin' feet!

 

"YYEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!"

 

Quickly Dragon vaults up onto the middle rope. And the Dragon flies, prompting Wright to duck his head anticipating the dive, only for Dragon to soar overhead and take CW over with a sunset flip...

 

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

CW slams his feet together and breaks the pin, before rolling back and out of the ring.

 

COLE

Absolutely nothing seems to be going right for Christian Wright so far...

 

COACH

Don't tell me, it's a 'curse'.

 

COLE

Well, maybe.

 

COACH

Phooey!

 

As he stumbles around ringside, Christian looks fully intent on using the referee's ten count to it's fullest advantage to get his bearings back. Dragon has other ideas though as he bursts across the ring. Wright doesn't notice until the last moment.

 

 

And by then it's too late, as Dragon soars through the top and middle ropes and wipes CW out with a topé!!

 

"YYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

COLE

Suicidal dive from Dragon and he got it all!

 

"DANCE DANCE DRA - GON!"

*clap clap clapclapclap*

"DANCE DANCE DRA - GON!"

*clap clap clapclapclap*

 

Dragon drags himself back up. And, as the Dance Dance Dragon, he of course dances to celebrate his dive!

 

COLE

Was that the Running Man?

 

COACH

I wouldn't know, I'm black.

 

COLE

Hey, no race angles here my friend.

 

COACH

Wha?

 

COLE

Nevermind.

 

Back inside we go and Dragon picks Wright back up, executing a quick snap suplex in the centre of the ring. Setting Wright in place, Dragon then sets off into the ropes at full speed. Inexplicably, he gradually slows to a stop on the rebound though, shaking off the shoulders and dusting it off before putting all his weight behind a kneedrop to the chest.

 

COLE

That's The Strong Style Shuffle!

 

Lateral press by Dragon...

 

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

Shoulder up!

 

As Wright looks to get right back up, Dragon clasps on a headlock to try and maintain control. Wright goes to the gut with an elbow though. A second. And a third elbow, Wright sliding behind and lifting Dragon up for a back suplex. Dragon manages to float over top though and lands behind The Natural, swiping at the back of the legs with a kick that drops him down to his knees. With his usual panache Dance Dance Dragon dance dances his way in front of CW and lines him up...

 

 

*THUD!*

 

...for a stiff kick to the chest...

 

 

*THUD!*

 

...and a second...

 

COLE

Looking for the Combo...

 

Slamming his fists into the canvas, Dragon now takes aim and whips out with a kick to the head...

 

 

...DUCKED! Wright avoids the Combo completing kick and snatches a rear waistlock. Panicking, Dragon tries to punch the hands apart to free himself from the waistlock, but Christian holds firm and takes Dragon over with a German Suplex, bridging into the pin...

 

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

NO!

 

COLE

Excellent suplex, but not enough to slay the mighty Dragon.

 

COACH

I was hoping you'd avoid those puns.

 

COLE

You obviously don't know me very well Coach.

 

Wright keeps the pressure on as he puts the boots to the Dragon, Dragon retreating to the corner as the kicks rain down. In follows Wright and he pins Dragon down against the bottom turnbuckle, foot plainly placed across the throat which draws in referee Hebner.

 

"ONE!"

"TWO!"

"THREE!"

"FO..."

 

Breaking on four, Wright pulls Dragon to his feet and out of the corner. A European Uppercut rocks Dragon back a step and leaves him wide open for CW to stoop in, lifting Dragon off the canvas and with a quick 180, Hotshotting Dragon across the top rope! The whiplash sends Dragon stumbling back and Wright is on the move, bouncing off the ropes and sweeping Dragon off his feet with an STO! That series of moves gets the crowd back on CW's back, but also leaves Dragon in position for the cover...

 

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

Kickout!

 

"DRA - GON!"

"DRA - GON!"

"DRA - GON!"

"DRA - GON!"

 

The crowd rally behind Dance Dance Dragon as Christian applies a rear chinlock to try and slow the pace of the match down.

 

COACH

I never had Oklahoma down as dance fans.

 

COLE

How can you not love a dancing masked dragon from Japan, Coach?

 

COACH

The way I am. Justifiably.

 

Dragon starts to feel the groove, bopping along to the crowd's beat as he climbs back to his feet. As he reaches his feet Wright cuts him off with a knee though, grabbing two handfuls of mask and throwing Dragon down to the mat, hard. He follows up with the cover...

 

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

But Dragon kicks out.

 

Back into the chinlock goes Wright.

 

"DRA - GON!"

"DRA - GON!"

"DRA - GON!"

"DRA - GON!"

 

The chinlock doesn't last as long as last time though, as Dragon quickly bridges up off the canvas... and sits out, jacking Wright with a Jawbreaker!

 

"YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"

 

Wright is left dazed as Dragon gets to his feet, but recovers enough to charge at that point. For what little good it does him. Armdrag by Dragon! Armdrag again! And a third, Japanese armdrag this time, turning Wright for a complete loop! The Moral Highground is reeling now and finds himself pushed up against the turnbuckles by Dragon, in no position to fight back as Dragon unloads with a right hand.

 

*SLAP!*

 

"WHOOOOOOOO!"

 

...chop. And a right hand.

 

*SLAP!*

 

"WHOOOOOOOO!"

 

...chop. Right hand.

 

*SLAP!*

 

"WHOOOOOOOO!"

 

Chop, Right hand.

 

COLE

It's a Violence Party in Oklahoma City!

 

COACH

C'mon, get him out of the corner referee!

 

With Wright slumping down the turnbuckles, Dragon brings the party to an abrupt halt. Instead, he hoists Wright up and sits him on the top turnbuckle, running his thumb across the throat to singal that it's OVAH~!

 

COLE

Could we be about to see the Bemani Buster?

 

COACH

CDub's too big for it, no way he gets him up.

 

Sure enough, Dragon pulls down the head and tries to muscle him up for the buster, but Wright is clinging onto the ropes for dear life. Dragon lands a forearm before trying again, but again Wright won't budge. And eventually Wright is able to fight back, slamming his elbow into the back of Dragon's head and fending him off. Wright now grabs a front facelock and leaps off the middle rope, looking for a Tornado DDT. He's pushed off by Dragon, but lands safely on his feet in the centre of the ring and as Dragon charges him, he counters, taking Dragon over with a snap Powerslam!

 

 

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3-

NO!

 

"YYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

 

COLE

Dragon almost got caught there, but the shoulder did come up just in time!

 

One person who doesn't agree is Christian Wright. Putting the validictorian badmouth on referee Hebner, Wright insists the count was 3. And when Hebner doesn't agree, Wright commits the cardinal sin of putting his hands on the official as he SHOVES Mark Hebner! Hebner doesn't much appreciate that and SHOVES Wright back...

 

 

 

...back into a schoolboy rollup from Dragon...

 

 

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NO!

 

"OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

COLE

Wright almost lost it right there!

 

COACH

Well, no wonder he's been on a bad run. That's no curse, that's referees conspiring to try and cost him matches!

 

Wright storms back up but has no time to take issue with Hebner again, as Dragon beats him to the attack with a quick forearm strike. Another. And a third. Boot to the gut by Dragon doubles The Natural over and Dragon turns back to back with CW, cradling up the arms and looking for the Newbie Killer (Vertibreaker)! Standing upright, Wright is able to block that, sending Dragon tumbling over the back. He lands on his feet and with a waistlock he runs for the ropes, trying to bring Wright over with an O'Connor roll. Wright hangs onto the top rope and pushes Dragon off though, then turns and tumbles over top with a sunset flip...

 

 

...attempt, countered, Dragon leaping up and landing a big legdrop across the throat!

 

"YYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!"

 

Rolling back to his feet Dragon kicks Wright a kick and keeps on kicking, nudging Wright over until he's facedown on the canvas before stomping him in the back of the head. Dragon then leaves the ring and heads up top, bringing the fans to their feet.

 

COLE

The Dragon is about to spread his wings!

 

The Dance Dance Dragon reaches the top and carefully stomps his foot on the buckle, building up a good score before he soars off the top, aiming his Perfect! double stomp at the back of The Natural's head...

 

 

 

 

 

...BUT THERE'S NOBODY HOME!!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

COACH

Well, that was less than Perfect!, that's for sure.

 

COLE

Dance Dance Dragon could have blown both his knees out there, very easily.

 

Limping back to his feet, Dragon turns right into a quick kick to the right knee from Wright. Dragon manages not to go down, just yet, but Wright quickly picks the leg and leaves Dragon hobbling uneasily on one foot, cutting the forearm into the back of the knee and takes the Dragon over with the Dragon Screw! Hanging onto the right leg, Wright then gives 'the signal'.

 

COLE

Figure Four!

 

COACH

WHOOOOOOOOOO!

 

Around Wright goes with the spinning toehold and he reaches down to lock the legs...

 

 

 

 

...but gets caught by Dragon, who rolls him into a cradle...

 

 

 

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3!!!!!

 

"YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

COACH

WHAT!?

 

*DINGDINGDING!*

 

Wright scrambles to his feet in disbelief, but Dragon is already wheeling away down the ramp in celebration, albeit it with a limp. Referee Hebner has gone too, fearing more than a light push this time as Christian fumes in the ring.

 

BUFFER

Your winner of this match... THE DANCE! DANCE! DDRRRRRAAAAAAGGOOOOOONN!!!

 

COLE

And Christian Wright's year continues to go from bad to worse! Dance Dance Dragon's had a good run in Japan this past month or two, but even so, this has to go down as somewhat of an upset!

 

COACH

Somewhat!? Christian Wright is the 2005 OAOAST Rookie Of The Year! He shouldn't be losing to... to Dragons! I don't believe this! How!?

 

COLE

It's the curse I tells ya! Arrrr!

 

COACH

...

 

COLE

Sorry. We'll return with the Sooner Bruisers in action right after this time out.

 

Commercial break

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COLE

Ladies and gentlemen, it is my honor to welcome in the co-host of OAOAST Syndicated, Jesse "The Body" Ventura, for our next match. Jess, great to have you here on HeldDOWN~!

 

VENTURA

Let's get one thing straight first, Michael Cole -- I AM the host of OAOAST Syndicated. Why do you think it's the #1 rated program in all of syndication? People aren't watching to see Tony Schiavone. They're watching to hear my commentary on the great action only the OAOAST can provide. And we're gonna double their pleasure next week with a special edition to celebrate the most watched program across the country and around the world. Now introduce me again.

 

COLE

It's my pleasure to welcome the host of OAOAST Syndicated to Sofa Central, Jesse "The Body" Ventura. And Jesse, you know what's coming up next.

 

VENTURA

Oh, yeah. The battle of the sexes. Los Diablos de Fuego vs. the Sooner Bruisers for the tag team championship of the world! But what a travesty of justice, Michael Cole. It oughta be the Beverly Hills Blonds wrestling for the tag titles. They're the 3-time champions. Los Diablos haven't done anything to warrent a title match so early in their careers. The Blonds are being discriminated against. Had they wrestled Los Diablos a few weeks ago, they'd be getting the shot. It's politics at its worse.

 

COLE

Los Diablos have paid their dues and endured so much in their time in the OAOAST. It also shows the OAOAST Top 10 works.

 

VENTURA

Then why was it privatized? The public hasn't seen it in years. And the public has a right to know.

 

Humidity's risin'

Barometer's getting low

According to all sources

The street's the place to go

 

BUFFER

Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest LIVE on TSM is for the World tag team championship!

 

"YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"

 

Moracca and Mariachi prance onto the pink and yellow illuminated stage, plucking gingerbread men decorated like themselves out of from under their sombreros and toss them into the crowd. But many of the fans throw them back at them!

 

VENTURA

Ha-ha. Sooner Nation out in force. You'd think the Longhorns had rolled into town given this reception.

 

COLE

Los Diablos have their work cut out for them, that's for darn sure.

 

BUFFER

Introducing first, the challengers...accompanied by El Ovéja from sunny, funny Cabo San Lucas, the sexiest tag team in all of Mehico...LOS DIABLOS DE FUE-- NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

Los Diablos bump and grind on ring announcer Michael Buffer, ruffling his tuxedo and hair. Since all gay men are stylists, Moracca and Mariachi dig into their tights and use "organic hair gell" to comb Buffer's do by hand!

 

VENTURA

And these are the guys who might go home as champions tonight? Huh. You think Ellen DeGeneres is rooting for Los Diablos?

 

COLE

I'd say so. Why do you ask?

 

VENTURA

Should Los Diablos win tonight they'd replace her as America's favorite gay person. Then you might see her and Rosie O'Donnell join forces and go after the belts.

 

The music dies to build anticipation for the hometown team. The crowd becomes more rabid as each seconds passes. Then Edgar Winter's "Frankenstein" hits and the fans go crazy!

 

BUFFER

Their opponents...from Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, total combine weight 525 pounds, the reigning and defending heavyweight tag team champions of the world, Big Frank and Uber Bruiser...THE SOONER BRUUUUUUUUUUUUISERS!

 

Big Frank and Uber interact with the fans in a matter that isn't hostile, slapping hands and kissing babies. Okay, no kissing babies, but their is hand slapping. Uber runs up the steps and around the ring like a madman, HOWLING~! Frank proudly holding his tag title for all to see. The Bruisers milk every second for what it's worth, full well knowing it's a type of reaction they won't see often. Los Diablos de Fuego look like small children next to the Sooner Bruisers. Big Frank's 25" anacondas almost as big as their whole bodies! Because TV time is precious, referee Nick Patrick asks both teams to get it on already. Moracca and Mariachi's eyes light up at the prospect, until Nick bursts their fantasy and lets them know he means the match.

 

MORACCA & MARIACHI

:( :(

 

* DING DING *

 

The bell sounds as all 4 men prepare to engage in mortal combat...for the tag team championship of the world! Los Diablos place their mascot in the corner, rubbing its head for good luck. "The Psycho Gremlin" Uber Bruiser and Mariachi to start for their respective teams. Uber immediately suckers Mariachi into a test of strength, locking up with the flamboyant one and easily shoving him to the mat, following the move with a trademark howl. Mariachi responds with an intimidation tatic of his own, hissing as he scratches his claws at Uber!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

 

MORACCA

:huh:

 

VENTURA

Look at 'em. Los Diablos don't know what to think of the reaction they're getting.

 

COLE

They've never been in a situation like this before, Jesse.

 

Los Diablos give each other comfort and support, hugging in the corner to loud boos. Mariachi covers his ears to block the jeers, but it only makes matters worse. He stays positive and locks back up with Uber, who muscles him in the air and slams him to the mat! Mariachi hopes third time is the charm as he locks horns yet again with Uber, only to be lifted back in the air...but this time he's ready, dropkicking the Psycho Gremlin off his feet! Mariachi monkey flips Uber out of the corner and, along with partner in and out of the squared circle, dropkick him outside! Mariachi hits the ropes and uses Moracca as a springboard, backflipping over the top and down onto Uber, only to be caught in midair and thrown into the ringpost like a human dart...but Mariachi goes Spider-Man and safely latches onto the post, humping it with mucho gusto until having to jump off as Uber charges in and...

 

* BOOM *

 

...Soonerlines the steel!

 

COLE

Did you hear that?!

 

VENTURA

Uber may have just broken his arm, Cole. His arm collide with steel and I think it's safe to say steel won. You could hear that all the way up in the nose bleed section.

 

Mariachi brings Uber back in and runs the ropes, flipping and floppying off the top and armdrags him across the ring. Uber sent in for the ride as Mariachi himself hits the ropes, leaping onto the middle rope and tagging in Moracca as he decks Uber on the rebound with a leg lariat! Moracca swings into the ring and onto the second turnbuckle for a moonsault, but Uber moves! Luckily for Moracca, he's able to improvise in mid-flight and land on his feet. But not out of harm's way. Uber runs under a leapfrog and then right through Moracca on the way back, knocking him out to the floor. Big Frank steps in for the first time and pulls Moracca up on the apron, suplexing him in overhead belly-to-belly style! Or so we thought. Moracca again lands on his feet. Frank poses for the cameras, flexing the biceps, completely unaware of what's awaiting him. He turns around and what does he see? 171 pounds of Moracca flying his way. No sweat says Frank, who catches Moracca in his arms and MILITARY PRESSES him. Big Frank displays his power to every section in the arena, then drops Moracca down to his chest for a power bodyslam...but Mariachi DROPKICKS Moracca onto him!

 

ONE...

 

TWO...

 

THREE!!

 

 

 

 

NO!

 

COLE

Los Diablos de Fuego a half second away from capturing the tag team championship of the world and their American citizenship. And they did it with a quick double-team maneuver, which most experts believe is the only way Los Diablos can win the match. Just like they can't match the Sooner Bruisers strength, the Sooner Bruisers can't match their speed.

 

The homies must've heard Cole's commentary because they look to tag team Big Frank some more, but Frank makes it hard, becoming dead weight as Los Diablos try to shoot him in to the ropes. Numerous overhand chops don't even faze the Man of Tomorrow. Frank jiggles his pecs just to show Los Diablos how much effect those chops had. None. Moracca and Mariachi forced to think on their feet, which they use in their next move, kicking Frank in the gut. Now they whip Frank in, and whiff on a double handspring elbow. Big Frank ducking under and over to his corner, tagging in Uber as Los Diablos' momentum shoots them back off the ropes. With the aid of his brother, Uber is slingshotted into the ring, wiping out both Diablos with a crossbody!

 

ONE...

 

TWO...

 

DOUBLE HUMP OUT!

 

COLE

Well, uh, that's certainly a unique way to escape a pinfall. Every do that in your career, Jesse?

 

VENTURA

No, but I know a few guys who have...backstage.

 

Disturb by Los Diablos unusual methods, Uber tries to wipe the cooties off his body. As any good team would do, Los Diablos take advantage of the situation, delivering the KISS OF DEATH!

 

LOS DIABLOS

:o :o

 

But Uber no sells the move, popping right up and stiffing the hell outta Los Diablos with a neck-snapping Soonerline! Tag made to Big Frank. The Man of Tomorrow rids the ring of Mariachi, leaving Moracca all alone to himself. Frank hooks the arms and TIGER BOMBS Moracca!

 

The cover and count!

 

ONE...

 

TWO...

 

THREE-- NO!

 

Frank lift's Moracca's head up. He wants to inflict more damage. Frank bashes Moracca's chest with vicious forearm smashes, paint-brushing him upside the head. Frank lowers the shoulder after an Irish whip, tossing Moracca overhead...but Moracca floats over and locks on a REAR NAKED CHOKE, humping Frank in the process!

 

"YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!"

 

VENTURA

Aw, man. This is the ultimate indignity. Whatever happened to slapping a guy?

 

Big Frank remains poised, viewing Moracca as a pest than an actual threat. He slumps him over the shoulder in position for the 69 Driver. Or a TESTICULAR CLAW in Moracca's case! Moracca slips out of Frank's grip and keeps him in a grip of his own, squeezing the Man of Tomorrow balls. So big Moracca has to use both hands! KICK, WHAM...FAMEASSER!

 

ONE...

 

TWO...

 

THR-- KICKOUT!

 

And Frank is pissed. He drives Moracca into the corner and unloads with a series of shoulder thrusts and knife-edge chops. An Irish whip is followed up by a TILT-A-WHIRL SLAM...NO! Moracca takes Frank over in an armdrag. Again and again. Then a dropkick, but Big Frank swats Moracca down and kicks him in the head for good measure. Big-time Soonerline knocks the horns off Moracca's mask. Frank now tossing Moracca around the ring like a ragdoll. Suplexing him all over the place. Uber tagged in. The Pscyho Gremlin plants Moracca square in the center of the ring with a thunderous powerslam. Moracca's body bouncing inches off the mat.

 

ONE...

 

TWO...

 

THRE--NO!

 

Mariachi makes the save. Sooner Bruisers with a quick tag. Uber drapes Moracca over his shoulder as Big Frank climbs to the top and tongues his bicep, dropping a big elbow onto Moracca! Rather than go for the cover immediately, Frank decides to taunt Moracca instead, doing regular and one-hand push-ups.

 

VENTURA

I think this is a mistake here. You got your opponent down, pin him. Los Diablos are one of those teams who can pull a fast one on you. A quick roll up or small package -- match over, new champions.

 

COLE

Here's the cover!

 

ONE...

 

TWO...

 

TH-- KICKOUT!

 

Frank takes his anger out on the referee, allowing himself to get rolled up from behind!

 

COLE

Oh, school boy! He may have him!

 

ONE...

 

TWO...

 

THR--KICKOUT!

 

Smartly, Moracca shoves Big Frank to the corner and cart wheels to his, kissing Mariachi on the cheek. Nick Patrick acknowledges a tag on the part of the Sooner Bruisers as well. Mariachi springboards to the top and dives at Uber. Bad mistake. He's caught in the air and rammed into opposite corners, then slammed in the middle of the ring!

 

VENTURA

Oklahoma Stampede!

 

COLE

The very maneuver that brought an end to the reign of Black T.

 

Big Frank sprints towards Moracca and knocks him off the apron. Nick Patrick counts the fall...

 

ONE...

 

TWO...

 

THREE!

 

* DING DING DING *

 

"YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!"

 

COLE

Amazing. Absolutely amazing, Jesse Ventura! Just like that. Lights out. Sooners retain. Wow!

 

VENTURA

That's why they're the World tag team champions, Cole. They know how to close out matches. The Sooner Bruisers fell behind early, made a comeback, and then when it looks like Los Diablos are about to rally...boom!...Oklahoma Stampede. 1-2-3. Match over. Still tag team champions of the world, the Sooner Bruisers. But you gotta give Los Diablos de Fuego credit. They were outsized and yet still managed to put together a gameplan that gave them an opportunity to win. Flamboyance aside, Los Diablos are a great team, otherwise they wouldn't work for the OAOAST.

 

COLE

Exactly right. Two excellent teams competed for the top prize in their field, but only one could walk home the winner. The Sooner Bruisers successful in their first title defense.

 

The Sooners exit to a standing ovation. As Moracca checks on Mariachi in the ring, the BEVERLY HILLS BLONDS and LOS CONQUISATADORS strike!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

 

Moracca catches them coming in out of the corner of his eye, but is unable to fend off the 4 on 1 attack on his own. Los Conquistadors decking him with their BARB WIRE-wrapped fists, slicing Moracca open! The Blonds get in on the action, shooting him into the ropes and...DOUBLE FEATURE FLAPJACK...splash Moracca down onto Mariachi. Simon and Ned use their belts to keep OAOAST officials at bay, threatening to whip anyone who dare enters as Los Conquistadors tie Los Diablos in the ropes and feel El Ovéja up right in front of them!

 

COLE

How disgusting! Los Conquistadors molesting the masoct of Los Diablos de Fuego. There's no need for this. No need at all. Damn them!

 

Los Conquistadors open up El Ovéja blow hole and take turns sticking their fingers into it, giggling like school girls as it deflats. Los Diablos shed tears for their beloved mascot, then blood as Uno and Dos dig their barb wire fists into the forehead! In one last cruel act, Los Conquistadors shred El apart with the barb wire, leaving what's left of it scattered across the ring in little pieces to the delight of the Blonds.

 

SPECIAL EDITION

 

SYNDICATED.jpg

 

OCTOBER 28

CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS

 

The lights go down in the arena. "Renegade" by Jay-Z & Eminem starts playing, causing the crowd to boo loudly. When the baseline kicks in, a single white spotlight shines on the entrance stage. The entrance doors slide open, and Reject himself comes out to more boos. Reject poses on the entrance stage, and then starts walking down the entrance ramp with the spotlight following him as "Renegade" continues playing.

 

*DING DING DING*

 

BUFFER

Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall with a thirty-minute T.V. time limit. Introducing first, coming to the ring at this time. From The Bronx, New York. Weighing in at 235 lbs. A member of The Five Burroughs...REEEEEJJJJJJEEEEEEEEEEEEECCCCCCCCCCCTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!

 

The crowd boos Reject. Reject has a cocky smirk on his face as he continues his walk to the ring.

 

COLE

Reject set for singles action tonight on HeldDOWN~!. Going one-on-one against a man he has some history with in Colombian Heat. Heat and Reject both took part in the Heartland Invitational Chamber Of Hell Match II for what was *then* known as the Heartland Championship, but now known as the Canadian Championship.

 

COACH

And there’s no love lost between Heat and Reject. That’s for damn sure!

 

Reject enters the ring. He gets on a second turnbuckle and raises his hands in the air. The crowd boos. Reject scoffs at the booing, and then poses on another second turnbuckle. He gets off the second turnbuckle, and then removes his sleeveless black vest, sunglasses, and bandana.

 

COLE

Well, HeldDOWN~! tonight is brought to you by "Ms. Alix Spezia’s Sweeties". : We don’t know what’s in them either.

 

COACH

And by Stacker 2: The World’s Strongest Fat Burner!

 

The lights go back on in the arena. Reject bounces off the ropes to get ready for the match. He poses some more for the crowd as "Renegade" by Jay-Z & Eminem dies down.

 

COLE

Could Reject soon Feel The Heat?

 

COACH

God, I hope not.

 

A piano plays a melody, causing the crowd to cheer loudly. The lights go down in the arena, turning back on in tune with the melody.

 

DMX

COME ON!

 

*BOOM!*

 

Pyro explodes, leaving behind fire that burns on both sides of the entrance. "Gasolina (Remix)" by Daddy Yankee featuring Lil' Jon and Pitbull starts playing. The crowd cheers as the entrance doors slide open, and Colombian Heat comes out. Heat raises his hands, acknowledging the fans. Colombian Heat runs to both sides of the entrance stage, and then walks down the entrance ramp, slapping hands with the fans along the way.

 

BUFFER

And his opponent. From Bogota, Colombia. Weighing in at 180 lbs. He...is...COLOMBIANNNNNNNNNNNNNNN HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!

 

The crowd pops for Heat’s name.

 

COLE

Colombian Heat came to his friend Jumbo’s rescue last week along with Spanish Fly. Now, this week, he wants a piece of Reject, a member of The Five Burroughs, the group that’s been causing alot of people alot of problems lately.

 

COACH

The Five Burroughs have taken the OAOAST by storm! They haven’t even been here for 5 months, and already people are saying they’re going to be one of the greatest wrestling groups of all-time!

 

COLE

Well, I don’t know if I’d go that far, but yes, the Five Burroughs, and more specifically, the Burrough Brothers are a force to be reckon with.

 

COACH

They’re going to go down as one of the greats. I know they are. Da Coach is a fortune teller.

 

COLE

Then can you tell me when you’re going to leave the OAOAST for good?

 

COACH

Never.

 

COLE

All right. Can you tell me when you’re going to die?

 

COACH

You’re mean Cole. You’re mean.

 

The camera cuts to the front row where a beautiful red head is standing up, cheering for Colombian Heat. She has green eyes, and is wearing diamond earrings, a gold necklace, a black tank top with roses on it, a blue demin jacket, a studded belt, and blue jeans. She also has black bracelets on her wrists.

 

COACH

Whoa. Hey now. Who’s THAT foxy lady?

 

COLE

Don’t even think about it Coach. That’s Colombian Heat’s girlfriend, Stacey Robertson. Heat flew her in to see him wrestle tonight.

 

COACH

Oh...say, I’ll be right back...I just gotta...

 

COLE

No Coach. No.

 

COACH

Awww.

 

Colombian Heat goes over to his girlfriend and gives her a hug. Stacey kisses him on his right cheek. Heat pounds his chest for her, and then hops into the ring. Colombian Heat gets on the second rope and does the "WESTSIIIIIIIDE" hand signal, receiving cheers. Heat then gets on a second turnbuckle and throws up the "W" hand signal again, receiving more cheers. CH gets off the second turnbuckle and calls for a microphone.

 

COLE

Stacey Robertson about to see her man in action!

 

COACH

How did SHE end up with HIM!?

 

COLE

Hey, Colombian Heat’s not such a bad looking guy.

 

COACH

What are you trying to say Cole?

 

Colombian Heat has a microphone in his right hand.

 

COLOMBIAN HEAT

Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo! YO!

 

The crowd responds to the "Yos!" with cheers. "Gasolina (Remix)" by Daddy Yankee featuring Lil’ Jon and Pitbull dies down.

 

"HEAT!"

"HEAT!"

"HEAT!"

"HEAT!"

 

COLOMBIAN HEAT

Let me clear my throat. A-huh! A-huh! A-huh! I haven’t done dis in a whiles, yo. So, hold up.

 

COACH

Just get on with it!

 

COLOMBIAN HEAT

A’ight. A’ight. If all of y’all are ready to see me make Reject feel the Heat, then make...some...noise UP IN THIS--

 

CROWD

"BI-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATCH~!!!"

 

The camera cuts to Stacey, who is doing the old Aresenio Hall "Woof! Woof! Woof!" gesture.

 

COLOMBIAN HEAT

Aw yeah. I know y’all’s gots my back!

 

Colombian Heat puts the microphone away. Reject enters the ring again. He stares smugly at Heat.

 

COLE

Colombian Heat and Reject just about ready to get it underway.

 

Referee Mickey Jay pats down Reject and then Colombian Heat, and then calls for the bell.

 

*DING DING DING*

 

COLOMBIAN HEAT vs. REJECT

Colombian Heat and Reject stare at each other. They inch closer and closer to each other until they’re face-to-face. Heat and Reject talk trash to each other.

 

COLE

Reject and Heat, trying to psych each other out.

 

Reject shoves Heat! Heat shoves back! Colombian Heat and Reject lock up. They jockey for position all around the ring, but neither man can gain the advantage. They head to a turnbuckle where they are still jockeying for position.

 

MICKEY JAY

Hey break it up! 1! 2! 3!

 

Reject lets go. He goes for a punch in the corner--BLOCKED! Heat punches Reject! Heat punches Reject again! And again! And again! Irish whip into the ropes. Reject bounces off the ropes, and Colombian Heat follows with a leg lariat! Heat quickly gets up, and then bounces off the ropes again, doing the "Where The Hood At?!" onto Reject! He goes for the cover!

 

1...2...REJECT KICKS OUT!

 

COLE

Colombian Heat, starting the match off strong!

 

CH picks Reject up and beats on him for a while. The crowd chants, "HEAT!" Colombian Heat sets Reject up on the ropes.

 

*CHOP!*

 

"WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

 

*CHOP!*

 

"WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

 

*CHOP!*

 

"WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

 

*CHOP!*

 

"WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

 

Colombian Heat whips Reject into the ropes--Reject reverses--and knees Colombian Heat in the stomach! Reject attacks Heat with the CLUBBERIN’~! THEY BE CLUBBERIN’~! forearms. Reject then starts kicking Colombian Heat all over his body, finishing with a jumping back leg kick, knocking CH down!

 

COACH

All right. Reject’s got the ball in his court now!

 

The camera cuts to Stacey Robertson looking concerned in the crowd. Reject gives Heat a snap suplex. He then goes for the cover. It gets two. Reject picks up Heat. He delivers a Northern Lights Suplex with the bridge on Heat!

 

1....

 

 

 

 

 

2....

 

 

 

 

 

KICK OUT!

 

"LET’S GO HEAT!"

"LET’S GO HEAT!"

"LET’S GO HEAT!"

"LET’S GO HEAT!"

 

Stacey leads the chant in the front row. Reject tells the fans to "SHUT UP!" The crowd boos. Reject picks up the now winded Colombian Heat and whips him into the ropes. Dropkick! BUT WAIT! Colombian Heat held onto the ropes, so Reject dropkick doesn’t hit, and he falls to the mat! Colombian Heat looks at the crowd, and then waits for Reject to get up. Heat charges forward and hits a clothesline! Heat then hits another clothesline! And then another! And then another!

 

COLE

Colombian Heat is getting FIRED UP~!

 

Heat Irish whips Reject into the ropes. Reject reverses. He goes for a clothesline, but Heat ducks, grabs Reject from behind, and gives him the Get Crunk’d Up! CH then exits the ring and climbs the top rope. The crowd stands up with him.

 

COLE

Heat’s going airborne right now!

 

COACH

Look out Reject! Incoming!

 

Heat is hunched over on the top turnbuckle. He waits for Reject to get up. The crowd’s waiting with him. Reject gets to a vertical base. When he does, Colombian Heat jumps off the top rope and nails Reject with a picture perfect missile dropkick!

 

COLE

Missile Dropkick!

 

Colombian Heat sits up and looks at his right hand.

 

"YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

 

COACH

Wait. What now?

 

COLE

You know what, Coach!

 

COACH

No. I don’t.

 

Colombian Heat starts shaking his head. It looks like he’s having a seizure. Stacey looks at her hand too. Heat yells out, "WHAT’S UP!" and then does the Spin-A-Roonie!

 

COLE

Spin-A-Roonie! Spin-A-Roonie! Spin-A-Roonie!

 

COACH

Pipe down Cole! You’ve seen this move millions of times!

 

COLE

Yeah, but it never gets old!

 

CH gets back to his feet. He does Eddie Guerrero’s "Shimmy Dance". Heat puts his hands around his neck and pretends to gag, which causes the crowd to cheer some more!

 

COLE

That’s it! That’s the signal for the Colombian Necktie!

 

COACH

Oh no! Oh no!

 

Heat gets ready to deliver the Colombian Necktie. Reject gets to his feet.

 

KICK! WHAM! COLOMBIAN NECKTI--

 

REJECT EXITS THE RING!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

 

COACH

Good! Save yourself Reject. Save yourself.

 

Colombian Heat ain’t gonna stand there and wait for Reject to come back to the ring. So, he exits the ring and goes after Reject! However, Reject’s waiting for him, and attacks with a back elbow! Reject and Colombian Heat engage in a slugfest outside the ring.

 

COLE

Hey guys, I think you better get back into the ring. There’s a match still going on.

 

COACH

I don’t think they care at this point.

 

Colombian Heat and Reject are STILL brawling while the referee counts.

 

5...

 

6...

 

7...

 

8...

 

9...

 

10!

 

THAT’S IT! RING THE BELL!

 

*DING DING DING* (5:04)

 

The crowd boos that decision loudly! Colombian Heat and Reject are STILL fighting!

 

COLE

Well, the match is over, but Colombian Heat and Reject don’t seem to care!

 

COACH

Somebody stop Colombian Heat! He’s brutalizing Reject!

 

COLE

It looks pretty even to me.

 

COACH

You need glasses!

 

The bell rings again, but Colombian Heat and Reject are STILL slugging it out. Reject gains the advantage and hits Heat with several kicks before delivering the knockout blow with a spinning wheel kick!

 

COLE

Spinning Wheel Kick on the floor!

 

Stacey Robertson winces when she sees Heat fall to the mat. Reject picks the dazed and confused (more so than usual!) Colombian Heat and throws him into the ring.

 

COLE

Now come on! The match is over! Reject doesn’t have to do this!

 

COACH

You’re right Michael. He doesn’t. But he wants to, and I have no problem with that.

 

Reject waits for Colombian Heat to get up.

 

THE EULOGY!

 

COLE

EULOGY! EULOGY on Colombian Heat!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

 

Colombian Heat is out cold on the mat. Reject stands up over Colombian Heat and chuckles. He then poses for the crowd.

 

COACH

Hey Stacey, what do you think of your boyfriend now? Drop that zero and get with a hero!

 

COLE

Just give it up, Coach.

 

Stacey stands up in the front row concerned for her man. Colombian Heat is still out cold. Reject trash talks Heat despite the fact that Heat is unconscious.

 

BUFFER

Ladies and gentlemen, the referee has ruled this match....A NO CONTEST!

 

COLE

Well, he may have made that decision, but it looks as though Reject is the winner right now!

 

COACH

Yeah, isn’t it great?

 

"Renegade" by Jay-Z & Eminem starts playing. Reject is still posing in the ring. Referees and Road Agents come to check on Colombian Heat. Stacey Robertson has tears in her eyes.

 

COLE

What a vicious assault by Reject! The match was over, but Reject still insisted on brutalizing Colombian Heat!

 

COACH

Hey, he wasn’t done with Heat yet! This match should have been No Countouts. That way, Reject could have beaten Colombian Heat 1-2-3 in the middle of the ring! Damn rules.

 

COLE

Poor Stacey. She comes all the way out here to see her boyfriend in action, and instead, she sees *this*.

 

COACH

Don’t be sad, Stacey. Come to Da Coach. He’ll make you feel better.

 

COLE

Just stop, Coach. Just stop.

 

Reject leaves the ring. He glances over at Stacey and laughs. Reject walks up the entrance ramp and poses some more. The crowd boos. Reject taunts the crowd and Heat. He raises his hands in the air, and then continues walking up the entrance ramp as "Renegade" continues playing. Referees and Road Agents continue checking on Colombian Heat, who is still knocked out.

 

COLE

I hope Heat’s okay. You can bet this won’t sit well with Jumbo.

 

COACH

If that fat ass wants some of Reject, he can come get it!

 

COLE

You may regret saying that one of these days.

 

COACH

No I won’t.

 

COLE

Our main event, Jumbo vs. Alfdogg is coming up NEXT!

 

Reject has left through the entrance. Referees and Road Agents help Colombian Heat off the mat. Stacey Robertson breathes a sigh of relief, but is still pretty worried. "Renegade" by Jay-Z & Eminem continues playing as we go to a...

 

Commercial break

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Sweet Home Chicago plays, and the crowd cheers, as Jumbo slowly walks out, with his arm heavily bandaged.

 

COLE

And here comes Jumbo, already at a severe disadvantage here as he challenges Alfdogg for the Canadian title!

 

COACH

He was at a disadvantage from the moment this match was signed, Cole!

 

COLE

Let's go to Michael Buffer!

 

*DING DING DING*

 

BUFFER

The following contest is the the OAOAST Heartland championship! Introducing the challenger, from Chicago, Illinois, weighing in at 440 pounds...JUMBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

 

COLE

And Jumbo suffering an arm injury at the hands of the Burrough Boys last week, but here apparently to try to tough it out against Alf!

 

Magnum Opus hits, and Alf walks through the curtains, followed by Team Canada, Deon Black and Rick Heyross. Black is carrying a square table, and each member of Team Canada has a chair.

 

BUFFER

His opponent...weighing in at 240 pounds...he is the REIGNING OAOAST Canadian champion...ALFDOGG!!!!!

 

The Canadian contingency enters the ring, and Felix Strutter grabs the mic as Pantera sets up the furniture in mid-ring.

 

STRUTTER

All right, you people know what time it is!

 

*crowd boos*

 

STRUTTER

I want all you Sooner sissies in this building, to get up on your feet, and show some respect for the greatest country on the face of this Earth!

 

Strutter gets his position by the ropes, and O Canada plays.

 

COLE

What's with the table in the ring?

 

COACH

Quiet, Cole, show some respect!

 

The anthem finishes playing, and then Strutter hands the mike to Alf.

 

ALF

So Jumbo...I see you got you a little boo-boo on your arm there...so I tell you what, I'm gonna take it easy on you tonight. For the first time in OAOAST history, you will see a championship belt contested in...an ARMWRSETLING MATCH!

 

*crowd boos*

 

COLE

An arm-wrestling match??? But Jumbo's arm is injured!

 

ALF

So just sit down in that chair there...

 

Both men take their seats, and the bell rings.

 

*DING DING DING*

 

The referee positions their hands together.

 

COLE

This is not right.

 

REFEREE

I'm gonna count to three, and then I'm gonna let go, and you go at it. Ready?

 

Alf nods.

 

REFEREE

One, two, three...GO!

 

The referee lets go, and Alf immediately slams Jumbo's arm to the table.

 

*DING DING DING*

 

Alf jumps out of the chair, then runs to the corner, and poses on the buckle, with a big cheesy smile on his face.

 

COLE

Give me a break! What a way to retain you title, huh?

 

BUFFER

The winner of the contest...and STILL OAOAST Canadian champion...ALFDOGG!!!!!

 

Alf jumps off the buckle, and Punishment by BIOHAZARD hits, bringing Brock Ausstin out to the stage.

 

COACH

What's he doing out here?

 

Brock claps sarcastically, with a mike in his hand.

 

BROCK

Great title defense, Alf! A COURAGEOUS effort! You're not gonna have that luck at Syndicated, though!

 

*crowd cheers*

 

BROCK

I suppose you're wondering what I'm doing out here...well, I don't have a match...so what else would I be doing out here, other than to introduce my tag team partner?

 

*crowd ROARS*

 

COACH

I just don't who he could have...

 

*BbwWbAhmotherfuckerLlIiiBbbEErRrAATtTeeyYyOUUurRrMmmMmMiIInNnDddDd!!*

 

*crowd ERUPTS*

 

COLE

I THINK WE JUST FOUND OUT!

 

COACH

No WAY, it can't be!

 

The crowd noise only escalates when the 24/7 champion BOHEMOTH walks through the curtain, then walks to both sides of the entryway, acknowledging the crowd!

 

COACH

These guys just had a grueling match against one another three weeks ago, and now they're going to be partners???

 

Bo then meets Brock in the aisle, and delivers a HIGH TEN~!

 

COLE

YES THEY ARE!!!

 

Alf is going nuts in the ring, before having to join Team Canada in restraining big Deon.

 

COACH

The Mammoth doesn't care, he's ready to take 'em both right now!

 

COLE

What a match set for Syndicated! Alf and the Mammoth! Brock and Bohemoth! What else could happen here?

 

The sound of Stabbing Westward's "Save Yourself" surprises the capacity crowd.

 

COACH

Ya HAD to say that, didn't you?

 

Not only does it lead the OAOAST poster boy ZACK MALIBU out from behind the curtain, but three other individuals as well. LEON RODEZ, SCOTTY STATIC, and JOHNNY JAX all appear alongside Malibu, walking to the ring with purpose, after their absence last week. The quartet glance at Alfdogg and co. as they pass by on the ramp, but otherwise continue their march to the ring.

 

COLE

It looks like we're about to hear from four men who were MIA last week!

 

COACH

It was kinda odd having a show without something breaking down between them and the Wildcards, I gotta say.

 

COLE

Well, we knew that last week only Todd Cortez was "available", as Bruce Blank, Bloodshed, and Landon Maddix all had previous commitments to the SWF organization. We understand that due to the incredible amount of tension between this group and the Wildcards, that these four men were pulled from last weeks HeldDOWN~!, and instead brought to the OAOAST Corporate Office while the rest of the roster were here for our broadcast. We're not sure of the details of that meeting, nor why it was held at such an odd time, but perhaps we're going to get some answers here tonight.

 

COACH

Don't count on it, playa. The Wildcards are in the house too, and it's only a matter of time before the ring is filling up with security!

 

The four men hit the ring, but keep the crowd-pleasing to a minimum. Malibu motions for the mic, acting as spokesman for his tag team partner and the two Hooligans.

 

MALIBU

I'll get right to the point, since there's quite a bit to discuss. First off, I apologize for our absence last week, but it was corporate's choice to pull us from the show. Given everything that's gone down between myself, Leon, and the GPX with The Wildcards and Landon Maddix, with them not being here, it gave everyone a break from the chaos. However, it certainly wasn't a vacation last Thursday night, because the four of us, we got pulled into corporate headquarters. Not to be reprimanded, not to be fired, nothing like that at all. What happened to us was quite shocking, actually, and I'm sure The Wildcards are going to feel the same way about it.

 

COLE

What's he talking about?

 

COACH

Beats me.

 

MALIBU

It seems that we've got another Syndicated broadcast coming up, and corporate decided to kill two birds with one stone. Apparently, because of our inability to co-exist with The Wildcards, they were afraid that putting us in the same arena once again would lead to another locker room clearing brawl. There's no way we can promise it wouldn't, and I certainly can't do that, so they took the next step. They decided that maybe it was time to horde us all into the ring at the same time. That they could finally regulate some of that chaos. In fact, they went so far as to include two rings in this deal...and a cage surrounding them both, just to make sure we have enough room to tear you apart...

 

COLE

Two rings and a cage? WAIT...

 

COACH

No...NO! On Syndicated?

 

MALIBU

Boys, you know all that talk about starting wars...well we're going to end this war of ours in the most brutal match imaginable...OAOAST Syndicated, October 28th, Zack Malibu, Leon Rodez, the GPX, Bruce Blank, Bloodshed, Todd Cortez and Landon Maddix are going to play some WAR GAMES~!

 

COACH

YO~!

 

The crowd roars, as Zack, pleased, nods his head.

 

MALIBU

The numbers are even now, Blank. The battle lines were drawn long ago, and you stepped over them. You crossed the line and haven't looked back, and now there IS no looking back! You brought this on yourself, and so help me God in that cage I'm going to make you squeal like the Southern pig that you are, more than I've even attempted to do to this point, and...

 

"Whoa, whoa, WHOA now boy, just hang on a minute!"

 

Zack hesitates, and quickly becomes flustered, as Bruce Blank comes out with a microphone, flanked by Cortez and Bloodshed, with Maddix and Megan Skye lurking behind, almost afraid to walk with The Wildcards.

 

BLANK

You cannot be this stupid, Zack. Your friends, maybe, but you? Come on now, after all I've done to you, to those you love, and you wanna lock yourself in a CAGE with me and my boys? A match where the whole point is to show no mercy and get your opponent to say uncle? Boy, you MUST be crazy! A match like that is a regular cakewalk for me and these boys here! You went cryin' to corporate, actin' like you had nothin' better to do because we were giving the SWF our star power last week, and now you've gotten your wish. You kiss their ass, they kiss yours, right, poster boy? Once again, Zack, you've proven to me that you're no man...you've got the OFFICE fightin' your battles. You had to go and get a match booked to lure me out? What happened to the backstage assaults? What happened to tryin' to run someone down in the parking lot? Maybe break their leg and rub their nose in the concrete? I HAVE BEATEN YOU AND BLOODIED YOU NUMEROUS TIMES, BOY, AND THIS IS THE BEST YOU CAN DO TO MAKE ME TAKE NOTICE!? WAR GAMES!? Boy, you ain't even gonna make it that far!

 

Blank throws down his mic, and his crew heads down the aisle, with Zack and company braced for the attack, until...

 

"MEDAL" comes over the PA system, driving the fans BANANA~!

 

COLE

Wait...WHAT!?

 

COACH

IT'S ANGLESAULT~!

 

Once again shocking the world, ANGLESAULT is on HeldDOWN~! Clad in a business suit, Anglesault storms out from the back, microphone in hand.

 

ANGLESAULT

Hang on, HANG ON A MINUTE. Not tonight, none of your crap is gonna fly tonight. So help me God, Blank, you guys back up or I'm gonna have you doing spot show main events in East Japeepee with The Sole Survivor. Zack, you too, you boys stay back, because this crap has dragged on long enough.

 

Everyone freezes, but the crowd is rabid, as Anglesault stands in the aisle.

 

ANGLESAULT

Week after week, month after month, I have watched this show be taken hostage. By the war between Zack Malibu and Bruce Blank. By PRL and the man adventures of The Lightning Crew. By The Hooligans wreaking havoc. By Drek Stone, Hoff, or whoever else thought they'd make a good "figurehead". Let me tell you guys something right now...first off, it was ME who booked that War Games matchup, so if anyone has anything to say about it, speak now or forever hold your piece!

 

All eight men, somewhat perplexed, simply listen on.

 

ANGLESAULT

Surprised, ain't ya? Well this is how it's gonna be from now on. See, personally, I think that if you guys want to maim each other, so be it. After all that's gone down, the feelings you have for each other are certainly deserved. In fact, this is WRESTLING. We're a business based on hatred and pain, vicious intent and injury. So let it be known, right now, that things are going to change around here...because I AM TAKING MY COMPANY BACK~!

 

COLE

WHAT!? So is this why there was such chaos at HQ this week?

 

ANGLESAULT

I am SICK of people fighting over the god damn corporate titles and taglines. I'm sick of General Manager this, President that, Corporate...none of that matters anymore. This is MY company...my blood, sweat, tears, and money, and I AM THE FINAL SAY-SO from now on. Everyone out here right now, everyone in the back, everyone with a valid contract works for ME. War Games...you're damn right I booked it as my first act of business. It's good for you all, and it's good for business, and maybe we can put some of this stuff to bed. Maybe, Blank, it'll be your swan song after all the stuff you've pulled in the last six months...but I guess we'll wait and see, now won't we? And even if it's not, I don't give a damn if Zack DOES try to run you over, or if you take a few swings at him with your bat...from now on, as soon as you set foot on arena property for an OAOAST event, you are FAIR GAME. No crying to security, no restraining orders...none of that flies. This is a man's business, a man's world, and you're sure as hell gonna act like it.

 

The fans roar, as Anglesault is turning red from shouting his decree out, now that he's revealed he's in charge.

 

ANGLESAULT

Not to mention...the official titles, thrown around, put up at stake in matches...NO MORE. Bill Watts, I love the man to death, but he is not the final say-so. He will continue to directly represent this company and myself, and nothing more unless I say so. So whoever thinks they are in charge right now, consider yourself out of a job! I am the end all and be all around here, and if you want something, you go through ME. I realize that running a company can take a bit of time, so I have appointed several officials who answer to me, and carry out my word if and when I see fit. We'll call them...The Three Wise Men, with Mr. Bill Watts being one of them. The other two you'll meet in due time. So, all that said, if there are any objections speak now...although personally, I think the time for talking is done. You guys have a War Games to psyche yourselves up for, and I've got a company to run.

 

With that, Anglesault turns and walks away, smiling proudly as the camera catches a shot of him before he vanishes behind the curtain. Back down at ringside, The Wildcards turn around...only to have Zack Malibu springboard off the ropes and crash down onto Blank and Cortez with a dive!

 

COLE

HEEEEERE WE GO!

 

With Blank downed, Malibu starts firing off punches, until Maddix and Bloodshed pry him off. Zack immediately swings free and goes after Bloodshed, while Rodez, Static and Jax slide out of the ring and pair off, brawling with their arch rivals!

 

COLE

We've got a War Games coming up at Syndicated, we've got the namesake of the company taking control, and we've got complete chaos at ringside! Fans, it's been one of those nights, and we've got to get out of here while we can! We'll see you next week here on HeldDOWN~!

 

Fade tp black

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CREDITS:

 

Written by:

King Cucaracha

Tony149

Alfdogg

Ed Wood Caulfield

KingPK

Zack Malibu

 

The Man Behind the Curtain:

KingPK

 

© 2006 OAOAST Entertainment. All rights reserved.

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