KingPK 0 Report post Posted December 29, 2006 BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! B-O-O-M~! Spotlights cut through the smoke of the opening pyro and sweep over the capacity crowd in Calgary (dramatic pause), Alberta, Canada as we get set for the final HeldDOWN of 2006! We sweep around the arena which is awash in cardboard signs and many happy people who found shiny new OAOAST merchandise under their trees. We SWOOP~! over to Sofa Central and your hosts for the evening. COLE We are smack in the middle of the holiday season and tonight, we say goodbye to 2006 as we are here in Calgary, Alberta, Canada for the final HeldDOWN of the year! Hello everyone, Michael Cole here hoping that you all enjoyed the Christmas holiday and Boxing Day here in Canada. COACH I don't get it. I got here on Tuesday, but I didn't see people in trunks wearing leather gloves and beating the crap out of each other in the streets. COLE Maybe you were in the wrong neighborhood, Jonathan. COACH Yeah, maybe. COLE Wow..... Anyway, tonight, we're looking toward the future and our first ever interactive show this New Year's Day, Mainframe Monday. COACH I sense a lot of promos tonight. COLE That's true, but we also have some matches for you, including a non-title "Champions vs. Champions" match which pits the OAOAST World Tag Team champions, The Sooner Bruisers against the HI-YAH Tag Team champions, Tha Puerto Rican and Stephen Joseph. I don't know if this is the first time something like this has taken place, but it is very rare. COACH Like you finding someone to kiss at Midnight on New Year's Eve. COLE I......ok, that was a good one. Let's go to the ring to kick it off. We go up into the ring where Michael Buffer is ready to introduce the opening contest. *DING DING DING* MICHAEL BUFFER The following contest is set for one fall, introducing first from the great state of Texas Whoooo-eo-oe-oooooooh! Whua-whua-whuaaaaaaa MICHAEL BUFFER Weighing in at a lean, mean 267 pounds – with the Texas Twister, here is BARON WINDEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELS!!! YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!! The crowd gives both of the Lone Star Gunslingers a warm welcome as they step into the arena. Whoooo-eo-oe-oooooooh! Whua-whua-whuaaaaaaa COLE Baron Windels told me before the match that he learned a lot about Wolfenstein by being ringside last week COACH Yeah like not getting in his way! COLE James Wolfenstein has been mowing the opposition down until now, but Windels isn’t going to take him lightly, not after last week. COACH He better not or he’ll end up as just another statistic for the Lone Wolf. DENG-DENG-DENGDENG!! WO! HA! WOHA!! The two Gunslingers leap up on the apron, exchanging a high five before Baron Windels enters the ring, ready to face the man that put Jock Mulligan away last week. MICHAEL BUFFER And his opponent! From Dayton, O-HIO!! Here is “The Lone Wolf!!” James WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLFENSTEIN!!! ”War without end No remorse No repent We don't care what it meant” The Lone Wolf doesn’t elicit a totally positive reaction this week, almost getting into it with Baron Windels after the match last week has put a big question mark over where the young man’s allegiances really lie. Not that he seems to really care, he walks out with the same focused intense look on his face, a look that says “Get out of my way because I’m about to kick some ass” COLE This kid made his debut a few weeks ago and I must admit I’m impressed COACH You keep claiming he’s a rookie Cole but I don’t believe it. COLE Why not? COACH He’s too … I dunno it’s just that he seems very confident in the ring, like it’s not foreign to him at all. ”Another day Another death Another sorrow Another breath No remorse No repent” Jock Mulligan steps in James’ way as the Lone Wolf is on his way to the ring. Wolfenstein looks up and just stares at the Gunslinger as the Texas Twister warns him of what’s about to go down in the ring. After standing there patiently for a couple of moments Wolfenstein finally reacts by balling up his right fist and then driving it straight into Jock’s jaw *POWii* The blow connects perfectly and knocks the Gunslinger down on his ass much to the surprise of the crowd COACH Whoa! I think he just knocked Jock the F*ck out! Wolfenstein doesn’t even spare the KO’ed Jock a second glance before sliding into the ring and RIGHT INTO A BIONIC ELBOW FROM BARON WINDELS!! YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!! The elbow finds it’s intended target and then strikes Wolfenstein once more driving the rookie into the ropes. Just when James thinks he’s going to receive another bionic elbow Baron Windels changes it up and lands a Big Boot that knocks the Lone Wolf over the top rope and sends him slumping down onto the apron of the ring. COACH The Baron has got him right where he wants him, knocking Jock down was probably his BIGGEST mistake, cause it pissed off the big Baron! COLE Those Bionic elbows could hurt an elephant! I can only imagine how Wolfenstein is feeling right now. The crowd cheers as Baron Windels grabs Wolfenstein by the head, pulls him to his feet and then suplexes the Lone Wolf over the top rope and back into the ring. With everything going his way the Baron throws everyone a quick “Gun” handsignal before heading to the top rope. COLE Windels is signalling for that big lariat of his!! This could be over in a flash – experience will win out! James staggers to his feet, at first with his back turned to the corner where Baron Windels is waiting, but the moment he turns around he gets a facefull of Baron *BAM!!* COACH HOLY CRAP!! He managed to turn the top rope Lariat into a belly to belly Suplex!! Wolfenstein doesn’t let go of his hold on the Gunslinger either as he locks his hands behind the Baron’s back and then lifts him off the canvas once more, powering him up and over with another belly-to-belly suplex, a feat of power he repeats by picking Baron Windels up for a THIRD CONSECUTIVE Belly-to-Belly suplex COLE Look at that! Look at that power Coach! COACH There!! I knew it! Coach almost leaps out of his chair in excitement when James Wolfenstein clenches both his fists and takes a wide boxing / shoot fighting stance waiting for Baron Windels to get back to his feet COACH I knew he was a trained fighter! It’s obvious COLE It’s just a defensive stance Coach COACH Yeah one that looks like it’s second nature to him. James Wolfenstein seems to be working on pure instinct as he launches another assault on Baron Windels kicking him upside the head with a stiff roundhouse kick and then following up with two quick elbows to the short ribs of the Gunslinger. The force of the kick and the knees drives Windels into the corner where James Wolfenstein starts to wail away on his opponent with all the ferociousness of his namesake the Wolf. One blow after the other rains down over Baron Windels’ neck, shoulders and ribs as James Wolfenstein takes control of the match. COACH Jock is back! Mulligan has recovered from the devastating blow James Wolfenstein dealt him earlier and has jumped up on the apron to admonish the referee for not having the courage to push Wolfenstein out of the corner. Wolfenstein runs at Jock trying to clothesline him off the apron but the Texas Twister ducks under the arm escaping without any harm. The momentary break is all Baron Windels needs as he jumps James from behind with a lariat of his own. James blocks it with a back kick, then quickly spins under the Baron’s outstretched arm, wraps it around his neck and then raises the Lone Star Gunslinger high up in the air for the… BACKDROP DRIVER!!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! The crowd is shocked by the viciousness of the move and the angle of Baron Windels’ neck hitting the canvas as James Wolfenstein hits his finishing move and then quickly gets on top for the academic count ONE!! TWO!! THREE!! *DING*DING*DING* MICHAEL BUFFER The winner of the match “The Lone Wolf” JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMEEEEEEEEEEEES WOLFENSTEIN!!! Wolfenstein gets to his feet the moment Jock enters the ring, putting up his fists to protect himself but then relaxes as he sees Jock going over to check on his partner instead of getting in James Wolfenstein’s face. COLE Wolfenstein wins another one COACH Yeah the *wink*wink* rookie wins, I’m sorry but there is no way this guy is a rookie. Let's throw it to Josh! *CUT BACKSTAGE* JOSH MATTHEWS Hey, Josh Matthews here and we are all looking forward to OAOAST New Year's Spectacular, this year subtitled Mainframe Monday. You the fans get to vote for what you want to see on New Year's Day, including what type of match six teams will compete in over the OAOAST World Tag Team Championships. And at the time I want to bring in one of those teams, Rescue 911. Straight from the OAOAST First Responders Unit, EMT Tim Cash and Officer Tango Bosley appear with beaming smiles on their faces. The two nice guys stand either side of Josh, smiling away in the contentment of a law abiding life. MATTHEWS Guys, this is a big opportunity for you, challenging for the World Tag Team Titles for the first time. You must be excited. EMT TIM That's right Mr. Matthews. You know, when we debuted here in the OAOAST, we came up against the current World Tag Team Champions The Sooner Bruisers and they gave us the fight of our lives. But we've come a long way since then. We took the punishment they handed out on that night and we, like any good rookie, learnt from it. We took great experience from being in the ring with excellent athletes like Frank and Uber Bruiser. And now, we hope we can compete with those great athletes on New Year's Day. OFFICER BOSLEY You know, that's right Tim. It's an honour for Rescue 911 to be in this match at Mainframe Monday, to be competing with the finest teams in the OAOAST. And it's all down to the fans. The fans who've supported myself and Tim, giving us the courage and the fortitude to compete week in and week out. You great fans have spurred us on to better ourselves since our debut and I'm sure they'll be spurring us on in Daytona Beach, towards those OAOAST World Tag Team Titles. And we hope we can do you all justice with our performance. MATTHEWS Now, obviously we're in the midst of the Holiday Season. How have you been celebrating this year? OFFICER BOSLEY Well, the Holiday Season has been a busy one down at the OAOAST First Responders Unit. We live by three basic principals: Serve the public's trust, protect the innocent, and uphold the law. And we live by our principals all year round. Especially in the Season of Good Will. EMT TIM This year I've been on duty with some of the great medical professionals around America, keeping an eye out for the good people of the world this year for whom Christmas isn't quite so Merry. Those guys and girls do such great work and I'd like to take this time to wish them all a safe and happy New Year. OFFICER BOSLEY Also, myself and my tag team partner here have been privledged enough to be able to help out at a number of soup kitchens around the great province of Alberta on behalf of the OAOAST, handing out food and clothing, plus lending an understanding ear, to those less fortunate. EMT TIM It's rewarding to give something back at this time of year Mr. Matthews, especially when you're lucky enough to have such a comfortable life and good health, like we both thankfully do. Now, we want to give something to all our great fans out there this coming Monday night and that's Rescue 911 as the World Tag Team Champions. So we can truly represent the OAOAST, to do as much good as possible. So, keep voting and hopefully, with your support, we can walk out with the Tag Team Titles and start 2007 in a great way. OFFICER BOSLEY And to all you kids out there watching: stay safe and Happy Holidays! The two nice-guys walk off, still smiling away, as we go back to ringside... COACH Ugh. I feel ill. COLE Why!? COACH Those two are like a fat guy's pancakes- too much syrup. COLE I think those were some refreshingly down to earth sentiments, Coach. A rarity in professional wrestling. And I think Rescue 911 should be commended for being genuinely giving, generous people. COACH Oh, sure. That'd be great, if they were running for a Nobel Peace Prize or a Humanitas Award or something. That'll never win them the Tag Team Titles though. The camera cuts to the backstage area where Stacey Robertson is shown making a cup of coffee. The crowd cheers. Stacey is stirring her cup when-- VITAMIN X Hey! Stacey gasps and drops her cup! Vitamin X appears next to her, causing the crowd to boo loudly. X is wearing a blue dress shirt, $500 Rolex watch, black dress pants and black dress shoes, and is carrying a bouquet of roses. He smiles as he walks closer to a frightened Stacey. VITAMIN X Listen, listen. Look, don’t be alarm. I’m not here to hurt you. I just came here...to apologize. STACEY ROBERTSON Apologize? VX Yeah. Look, I’m sorry for the way I’ve been acting these past few weeks. I’m sorry for trying to lift up your skirt. For trying to undress you while you were unconscious. I’m sorry for acting like a real big jerk. So, as a token of my apology, I am giving you these. And he hands the roses over to Stacey. Stacey is hesitant at first, but she eventually accepts the roses from X. STACEY Uh...thanks. Stacey smells the roses. Vitamin X is still standing there. VX You know, I can’t help myself. I mean, you are such a BEAUTIFUL creature. I can’t stop thinking about you. The things I do...I do them because...because I care about you! STACEY Ummm...ok. X You’re the girl of my dreams. I want to be with you! Can’t you consider like maybe, going on a date with me? Stacey is starting to get uncomfortable. STACEY Uh...listen, X, um...the roses were nice. But...I’m not really interested in you. I have a boyfriend. And his name is Colombian Heat. VITAMIN X Well what can you give you that I can’t? Huh? Huh? What--what can he give you? I’m rich. I’m athletic. I’m handsome. I have a personality. Colombian Heat is nothing but a piece of lower class filth! He’s a HACK! That’s ALL HE IS! STACEY Listen here, X! You don’t know Heat like I know him! He’s nothing at all like you described him as! Heat is a great guy, and he is more a man than you’ll ever be! "OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" VX didn’t appreciate that last comment. His face is turning red. VITAMIN X You think Colombian Heat is better than me? You REALLY think so? Really? VX takes a deep breath. He then grabs Stacey’s arms! VX Well, let me just show you what kind of a man I am! STACEY No, please! Please stop! Please! Don’t do this! VX Come on. Just one little kiss. For me? Please? Pretty please? STACEY No wait! Please stop! The crowd boos! Vitamin X tries to force himself on Stacey Robertson! Stacey desperately tries to prevent the kiss from happening. "YO!" Colombian Heat spears Vitamin X into the catering table! "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Colombian Heat starts pummeling Vitamin X with lefts and rights! Stacey screams, and then runs away. Heat gets up and stomps a mudhole in Vitamin X. COLOMBIAN HEAT YOU PUNK SUCKA! PUNKA MOTHA--PUNK ASS BITCH! I’S TOLD YOU TO STAY AWAY FROM HER! YOUSE WOULDN’T LISTEN! HUH? STAY AWAY FROM MAH GIRL! Colombian Heat continues punching and kicking Vitamin X, who is dazed. Security finally comes and pulls Colombian Heat away from X. But Heat is fighting to break free, not done yet with his bitter rival. HEAT GET OFF ME, MAN! GET OFF ME! GET OFF ME! Security and OAOAST Road Agents come and take the furious Heat away from the beaten Vitamin X. X lies with his head resting next to the catering table. Heat is still fighting to break free while the crowd chants his name. The camera does a close-up of Vitamin X’s face as we go to commercial. COLOMBIAN HEAT YOU STAY AWAY FROM HER! YOU HEARD ME! STAY AWAY FROM HER! GET OFF ME! GET OFF ME! Commercial break Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted December 29, 2006 (edited) And now OAOAST BACKTRACKER...presented by Something or Another: "Use Your Imagination!" Synth goes for a hangman's neckbreaker, but Uno shoves him towards the ropes where Mackenzie awaits, and she blasts the Synthmeister with her Gucci bag! Synth rolled up in a small package! ONE... TWO... THREE-- NO! Logan saves the day. As does Dos, who wallops Mann upside the head. The match degernates into another pier-six brawl. Double Irish whip by Los Conquistadors, and Logan goes tumbling over the top thanks to the Sooner Bruisers yanking down the top rope...just as Synth nails both Conquistadors with a pair of PERCUSSION DDT's! Synth covers both Conquistadors. * CLIP JOB * NED (laughing) Yeah! That's my tag team partner. You see, that's why we're walking away with the gold New Year's night. It doesn't matter what type of match you people select. That right there showed you why the Beverly Hills Blonds are the best tag team in the world, period. As Ned finishes his verbal blowjob, cameras cut outside the arena where the pink Pinto affectionately known as the WANGMOBILE pulls up. The doors swings open in a surprisingly manly way and out step... ...LOS DIABLOS DE FUEGO, sporting taria's in support of the embattled Miss USA! * CLIP * Singleton eats a double right hand. But Los Diablos de Fuego didn't come alone. They brought along the WIFE of Logan Usher Mann...HOLLY-WOOD! "YEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" Holly yanks Mackie off the apron and gives her the wickest bitch slap you'll ever see! Charles Robinson sees the mayhem all around him and calls for the bell. * DINGDINGDINGDING * Officials rush to restore order. 10 are needed just to pry the Sooner Bruisers away from Logan! Holly wants her some of Big Frank, trying to breakthrough the sea of referees and agents to get at the man who has caused so much pain and suffering in her and Logan's lives. This has been OAOAST BACKTRACKER, bought to you by Something or Another: "Use Your Imagination!" MEAN GENE Back live on TSM. Gene Okerlund wishing you and your family a joyous holiday season. And a joyous occasion it was last week when Holly-Wood made her long awaited return after months away from the spotlight to recooperate both mentally and physically from the pain dealt at the hands of the current OAOAST tag team champions of the world, the Sooner Bruisers. I say current because live New Year's night the tag titles will be on the line as the champions defend against 5 other teams in a match to be determined by you, the wrestling fans, at OAOAST-dot-com. What will it be? a) Over The Top Rope Battle Royal b) Triple Chance Battle Royal c) Tag Team Turmoil Match (For dramatic effect only) The Synthmeister comes flying into view stoned out of his mind, followed by Logan Mann and his wife Holly, arm and arm, snuggling up to one another. GENE Two men who couldn't care less about the outcome -- they just want their hands on the Man of Tomorrow and Psycho Gremlin -- Synth and Logan, the Heavenly Rockers, and yes, Holly-Wood come on in. I know you're ready for Monday Mainframe, the big spectacular New Year's night. SYNTH A New Year's rockin' night! LOGAN Reunited and it feels so good! The Heavenly Rockers flying high once again with the wind beneath our wings, the Angel of Death herself, back on the road with the greatest rock n' wrestling band of all time and your next World tag team champions. Battle royal, triple chance or tag team turmoil -- pick your poison! It doesn't matter what type of match we're in so long as we're in. There were only 2 things the Synthmeister and I wanted for Christmas. One was Holly-Wood back at our side and the other was a shot at the tag team titles and the Sooner Bruisers. Guess what, "Mean" Gene Okerlund? The Heavenly Rockers have been good boys this year because we got 'em both! HOLLY You got what you wanted, didn't you, Bruisers? When you, two All-Americans in college, couldn't bully my boys with your amatuer skills you decided to sink to the lowest level to gain a psychological advantage by bullying me. Flattering, heh. But you forgot one thing: I'm one tough bitch! And this bitch doesn't give a damn about breaking a nail or twisting an ankle. This bitch wants blood. Your blood. I wanna rip your balls out of your sacks and eat 'em for breakfeast. I wanna use your balls as a chew toy for my dog. I wanna use your balls to hang on my tree next Christmas. In case you couldn't tell, I didn't get anything for Christmas this year because I'm a lifetime member of the naughty list. Good thing Santa doesn't judge by what goes on after the lights are off because Logan would be on the naughty list too. LOGAN Anal sex...I like it! SYNTH Believe me, he does. Ah started his porn collection. It won't be the only thing the Synthmeister'll be startin'. Monday Mainframe, the New Year's Spectacular as it's being called, the Heavenly Rockers will be startin' a rumble with 5 other teams even if it's not actually a battle royal, know what I mean. We're gonna kick it the only way us rock stars know how, like a drunken binge in our hotel room. We're gonna crazy, crazy on you!!! LOGAN Monday Mainframe, the Heavenly Rockers new tag team champions of the world sayeth Logan Usher Mann! GENE Yes siree. The Heavenly Rockers are ready for the New Year and I'm ready for a drink. Back to the ring or back to the back. You never know around here. *Cut to another part of backstage* JOSH J. Math here with you backstage on HeldDOWN~!, this time talking with "Urban Legend" Todd Cortez about his upcoming battle against one of the three Hooligans at Mainframe Monday. We're not gonna know which Hooligan Todd will be taking on until match time, which means neither will you. Your thoughts? CORTEZ My thoughts? Listen here. First off, what's with your little "Hi guys, this is J. Math!" intro? You're like Hooligan-lite with the way you think you're somethin' you're not. What, Josh Matthews got a tag name now? I suppose next you're gonna tell me you know what it's like on the streets too, right? JOSH Actually, no... CORTEZ No, you weren't. If you were, you'd be lyin'. Just like those Hooligans are lyin'. All they are are personalities, images, poster boys created by the marketing machine here at the OAOAST. For God's sake, O'Hara's an ENGLISHMAN, and he's tryin' to pull rank on ME, saying he knows what street life is like? Let me ask you this, Josh. You ever have to cram eight people in a two bedroom apartment? You ever have to wear hand-me downs from your brother, that were still too big, because your mama couldn't afford to get you new clothes? Or let me dig a little deeper...you ever have to sleep away from the windows, in case a bullet came flying through? You ever run home from school because if you were on the street for too long, you might get caught up in a drive-by? Or maybe, just maybe you know what it's like to lose a loved one, have them taken from you from some scum of the earth bastard whose main goal in life is to see how much junk he can snort up his nose!? JOSH I...I... CORTEZ No, you HAVEN'T, have you? Damn overpriveleged, spoiled white boys that think a name and a costume and a catchphrase makes them street. I AM THE STREET. I lived the life, and you know what, I used to be afraid to admit it. I used to be embarrassed, but now, I embrace it, and I'll be damned if those three scrawny punks are gonna make a living and earn a rep pretending to be "REAL" as they put it, when they're nothing but frauds. So you people at home, you click on your computers, and you find me the perfect match for Mainframe Monday. Send one of those Hooligans my way. Just remember, before you click that button, you're just sending them to their execution! With that, Cortez shoves Josh Matthews down, storming away and piefacing the camera, leaving a flustered Josh to cut away to our next segment. (BACK TO SC) COLE Well Coach, you’re not going to believe who we will be hearing from next. COACH Damaramu!! COLE ….no. It seems, earlier today, a videotape was anonymously dropped off at the OAOAST Towers. There was no sign of who left the tape or why…instead, it was just placed right on the doorstep, waiting to be found. On that tape? Why, none other than Drek Stone. COACH My boy!! COLE Right. The Heavyweight Champion that has abruptly taken a hiatus from the OAOAST for the past month. The fighting champion that, instead of defending his gold, has been casually resting and drinking strawberry daiquiris the past month. COACH Strawberry daiquiris…ridiculous. I can assure you Drek Stone is not into chick drinks. Vodka, straight up from the bottle, is how we do! COLE You’re missing the point here. Coach, Drek has always felt he was better than everybody else. That much is true. But he has reached a new height of absurdity now. He doesn’t show up at any of the house shows. He doesn’t show up at any HeldDowns. Hell, once the Board of Directors cleared him from competing in the Triple Cage match at November Reign, he skipped the Pay-Per-View entirely! The primary spokesperson for the OAOAST…and he refuses to come to the shows! And now, you see this. He has somebody just dump this videotape on the doorstep. He doesn’t have the courtesy to have them hand off the tape to an associate instead. God forbid he come and do it himself. And this is supposed to be enough to clear him from his actions this month? It’s ridiculous. COACH Hey, excuse me Cole. Take off the cowboy boots and get off your high horse for a second. You’re forgetting that Drek Stone has agreed to make an appearance at Mainframe Monday coming up next week. Better than that, he’s going to be defending the title…against one of three opponents that will remain a mystery until we get to that night! You can’t criticize the man for not defending the title when he’s going to be doing so in only a matter of days! COLE Well, where has he been the past month?! COACH It doesn’t matter! For all you know, he is just now fully recuperated from that Towel Match with PRL! What does matter is that he has a videotape he wants us all to watch and you’ve condemned the man before he’s had a chance to explain himself! Why don’t you listen to him before you read the riot act? COLE Sure, whatever. Let’s see what our glorious Heavyweight Champion has to say. Roll the footage. The scene opens to catch a wonderful vision of the spectacularly lit Rockefeller Christmas Tree proudly displayed in midtown New York City. Adorned in colorful lights and displayed in all its glory, the massive tree glitters in the chilly winter night as awed onlookers glance up at the gigantic holiday monument. After a few moments, the camera glimpses downwards to capture some of the excited holiday revelers ice-skating around the Rockefeller Ice Rink, some doing figure-eights and others taking an embarrassing fall on the ice, but all enjoying themselves nevertheless. It’s a fantastic depiction of the Christmas season in New York City and it just warms the heart. Of course, that warmness turns frigid only a moment later as Drek Stone steps in front of the camera, bundled up in a smooth leather coat. Exhaling a deep breath and letting the mist partially fog up the camera lens, Drek adjusts the sparkling Heavyweight Title around his shoulder, making sure it’s fully displayed in front of the camera. DREK Oh, I know you all missed me. I know you all have been sitting home the past month, wondering where I’ve disappeared to and whether I was ever coming back. Whether I had just decided life was too busy for me again and, on the totem pole of priorities, the OAOAST was dead last. I know some OAOAST fans and stockholders were nervously biting their nails, asking if I was going to pull a Hoff and just give up my gold without ever losing it in the ring. Well, to all of you, I simply need to say…chill. That’s it. Just chill. Drek walks over to the Rockefeller Tree and makes sure to stand directly in front so that the rest of his message is aided by the enormous tree in the background. DREK First off, if you think I would ever willingly give up this belt, you’re out of your mind. Why would I want to give up a prize that fully establishes just how much better I am than everybody else? If I could, I would take this gold to the grave with me. Not because I respect the OAOAST, but because I respect what the title has done for my reputation. With this, I become more marketable and more successful than I am without it. It’s the most powerful steppingstone I’ve ever seen. And to think that I would give up the gold without having it torn out of my hands is just craziness. Hoff doesn’t have the grand visions I do, so he never had this same belief. He never wanted to be the worldwide powerhouse and household name that I do. He doesn’t care about the fame, the glory, the riches, the women. That’s fine for him, but Hoff and I are two different cats. I’ll readily admit I’m a shallow son of a bitch. The more material goods I can get, the happier I’ll be, and this title is a pawn in helping me accomplish that. I could care less if the past wrestling greats like Anglesault and Zack Malibu held the belt. I just care about what the belt can do for me and what it can help me accomplish. And if that pisses off some of the guys in the back or some of the fans watching that I don’t respect this sport and its history and blah-blah-blah, it doesn’t matter. Not in the slighest. All that should matter is that I will never relinquish this belt readily, so I hope I eased some tension on that front at the very least. DREK Now, let me address the second matter. Where have I been the past month? Well, to put it plainly, I was busy. There were certain things I needed to handle myself. Two months ago, the very talented director Steven Soderbergh came to me with a role in mind for his upcoming blockbuster film Ocean’s Thirteen. Now any idiot can see that an acting gig of this prominence takes precedent over any mere wrestling match. Think about it. Hanging out with the likes of George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Julia Roberts, Catherine Zeta Jones…or sharing a locker room with Bruce Blank and Stephen Popick? Now I’m not going to say the role is going to win me an Oscar. I mean, if the Academy becomes so won over by my performance that they throw me a Best Supporting Actor nomination, then I’ll be thrilled, I’ll admit. But from the second that Steven…yes, we’re on a first name basis now ever since I stayed a week at his summer home in Palermo…from the second he approached me with this gig, there was no way I couldn’t do it. I’ve been used and abused in the OAOAST since I came back. Bill Watts decides to use me as a guinea pig for his sick ideas and thinks I’m just going to take the abuse. Triple Cage match, huh Bill? Well, who got the last laugh, buddy. I wined and dined with the biggest celebrities in the world for a month and you were humiliated on an international platform when you couldn’t deliver the title match you promised at November Reign! By now, Drek’s face is turning a darker tint of red – both from the cold and his anger. DREK Bill, you really thought the Board of Directors was going to nix my involvement in this film? You REALLY thought they were going to say “Hey Drek, we know you can get us some real media exposure if you do this movie…but BILL WATTS is more important”?! Are you out of your mind?! They were chomping at the bit for me doing this. If I could get Matt Damon to come to HeldDown one night and fight Tha Puerto Rican, I think they’d wet their pants in excitement. I’ve got Hollywood clout now, and you really think they were going to dismiss that clout for some no-nothing southern redneck whose career achievement has been tipping over nine cows in one night? So this is what I’ve been doing. And for all of you who think that, once again, I disrespected the federation and this title, you need to get over it. If I have the chance again, if Martin Scorsese comes over and needs me for Goodfellas II or James Cameron offers me the starring role in Titanic 2: Electric Boogaloo, you better believe I’ll be there. Title or no title. Because this stuff IS good for the OAOAST…and most importantly, it’s good for me. DREK But you see, not to worry. I’m not totally giving up my responsibilities as the Heavyweight Champion. Because in four days from now, the first-ever Mainframe Monday is going to be hitting televisions around the world. And yours truly is going to be competing in the Main Event…against one of three people. Of course, I’m not even going to mention how once again Bill Watts is trying to stick it to me by not telling me of my opponent until I walk out to the ring. I think it has been fully established the sick conspiracy he has against me. Instead, I’m going to focus on the three guys I’ve been placed against. I’ll admit, I haven’t watched much OAOAST programming the past month…I mean, come on, how many times is Alfdogg going to mock the hometown sports team before he gives it a rest…but I have caught bits and pieces. DREK For example, I know that CWM hasn’t showed his face in the OAOAST in about fifteen years at this point. His inclusion in this match just smacks of desperation. Bill trying to drum up some past OAOAST fans by indicating that this has-been could be taking part in the Heavyweight Title match. Unfortunately for Watts, I don’t see CWM even making it to the arena. Seriously now, the man can’t read! How is he going to make it to the arena if he can’t even grasp the English language? Folks, I don’t know how much backstage news you’re aware of, but the inanities that have come out of his mouth are amazing. He’s Miss Smackdown? When he was a dog, his dog ate his dad’s wedding ring? People, he got rejected by McDonalds! He couldn’t get a job at McDonalds! And YOU THINK he’s going to be able to make it to the show by himself? He’ll wind up in damned Abu Dhabi before he ever finds the arena by himself. And his intelligence aside, the man is finished in the ring. The last time he fought, he and Some Guy were dueling it out in a captivating legends match that, I swear to God, seemed like it was moving in slow motion. Don’t get me wrong, CWM. It was thrilling the way you were able to weakly limp across the ring at the speed of light so many months ago, but I think you need to hang up the boots now. Because, if you don’t, you will become another victim. I will end your livelihood like I ended the livelihood of the crippled AJ Flaire when I gave him that spinebuster through the steel chair. Folks, if you really are sadistic, you’re going to select CWM as my opponent for Mainframe Monday. Go ahead, I dare you. DREK Now, moving on. We come to the Present wrestler himself, Tony Brannigan. Ah Tony. We have quite the impressive history with one another at this point. You and Dan Black ruined my grand return at AngleMania V. To counter, I decimated you at Living Anglelously and quite easily earned the three count. Oh, and then after that, Hoff and I defeated you and Dan in the steel cage match at Syndicated. Uh huh, and months afterwards, I took you out with a Stonecutter on the arena floor at World Without End and busted your head wide open. Come to think of it, man, I’ve really exposed you as a loser, haven’t I? For the one time you got over on me, I’ve done it time and time again against you. Every single time we’ve fought and battled though, and I’m going to be honest here, you haven’t impressed me at all. To go even further, you haven’t showed me a damn thing. First off, you’re an amazing underachiever. Been fighting in the OAOAST so long that your nickname is Gramps, and all you have is a three week Heavyweight Title reign to show for it. Secondly, every time we fight, you crumble easily at the first sign of trouble. You pretend as though you’re some big, bad, muscular wolf…but you have no heart. You have no spirit. I swing once and you fall like a sack of potatoes. It’s been a common theme throughout your career. When the going gets tough, you fold! You’re unable to handle the pressure! You always have been! So why YOU THINK you deserve a Heavyweight Title shot is beyond me. You’ve been hounding me for months now wanting this gold. Why?! Why do you want a shot?! Why do you want to waste your time when you’re just going to fall apart again? Go ahead, folks. Throw away your vote and cast a choice for Tony Brannigan – the Ralph Nader of the OAOAST elections. I want to finally get him off my back and show him, once and for all, that he does not deserve to compete in the same ring that I do. I’m a worldwide superstar…and you’re the solid but unspectacular wrestler destined for mediocrity. So ladies and gentlemen, if you want Tony Brannigan, make sure to choose Selection #2. DREK Finally, we come to the last choice. The only one of the three who, I’ll admit, has definitely captured my eye as a worthy opponent…Landon Maddix. Now Landon, I don’t know much about you. I haven’t really had much interaction with you in the OAOAST yet, but you seem like a bright kid. You’re a talented athlete who may actually have a good future ahead of you. But I think it’s important that you remember your damn place in this company. Because, and correct me if I’m wrong now, I’m beginning to get the impression that since my hiatus from the OAOAST, you have began pretending…like you’re me. Cheating to win? Insulting Tony Brannigan? This is stuff I do. Talking up one’s accomplishments and mocking the shortcomings of everybody else? That is my personality exemplified. Abusing the crowd? You better realize that’s my routine, buddy. Landon, call me paranoid, but I’m getting the impression that you WANT to be Drek Stone…and I have a major problem with that. Because nobody can be who I am. Nobody can come CLOSE to being who I am. And if you continue on the path you are now, I may have to show you that firsthand. The OAOAST does NOT revolve around you and your whole band of Wildcards. Zack may not have been man enough to split you all apart and demonstrate to each and every one of you that you guys from the Misfit Land of Toys ain’t as big or bad as you think you are. Well, believe me, I won’t have that problem. Landon, you may have been a big fish in the SWF, but you’re not anymore. Everything in this federation REVOLVES around me and it has since I’ve made my debut. You need to learn how to respect that principle and then maybe, just maybe, we’ll have an understanding. But if you keep rubbing me the wrong way, if you keep acting as though YOU’RE the top guy around here…if you keep this act of WANNABE DREK STONE…then I am making the promise that I WILL DO what Zack could not. Step your ass into line, Maddix. You’re a supporting character here, not the main star, and I’ll be damned if you try to make a name for yourself while I’m still here. Kid, you’re talented, but you’re entering a dangerous zone here. Folks, if you want to see how I might handle a talented but misled superstar like Landon Maddix, pick Choice 3. Drek Stone and Landon Maddix have never even been in the same ring before…but you can make it happen at Mainframe Monday. DREK Okay, well, that’s it. I’m going to be seeing one of these three guys in only four days…and man, am I excited. Drek Stone making his in-ring return once again at Mainframe Monday! Who’s going to get the enviable job of being pinned one-two-three or…maybe even better…tapping his hand against the mat? Will it be The Past: CWM, The Present: Tony Brannigan, or The Future: Landon Maddix? Only time will tell. And even more importantly…Ocean’s Thirteen coming to you June 8th, 2007! Buy your tickets on Fandango today and avoid the rush! Good night, ladies and gentlemen, and have a great holiday! With a grin, Drek Stone stares up into the air at the spectacular tree before him as the faint sounds of Jingle Bells can be heard in the distance. The camera peels up to capture the star adorned at the top of the tree as the picture slowly fades to black. COLE Well, Drek clearly hasn’t lost any arrogance since he last appeared here. COACH If I had a damn outlet for this laptop, I could pre-order my tickets now! Ocean’s Thirteen, Michael! Didn’t you hear the news?! COLE Yeah, well, he better just get himself ready for Mainframe Monday. Because, and maybe this is just me, but Drek was looking a little soft there. Like he hasn’t worked out in a few weeks…. COACH Nope, just you. Drek’s looking as fit and ready as ever! What the hell is wrong with you, Cole? That’s just disrespectful! COLE That’s disrespectful? Did you hear his comments about the Heavyweight belt?! About the history of this company? Did you hear him talk about how he could care less about this sport?! You’re going to say what I said was disrespectful?! Drek’s comments were downright disgusting! COACH What are you babbling about, Cole? You’re going to be able to see a movie with George Clooney and Brad Pitt and claim it’s simply for professional purposes. You should be thrilled, I would think. COLE Don’t forget Matt Damon too!! Anyway, folks, you still have four more days to make your selection for Mainframe Monday! CWM, Tony Brannigan, or Landon Maddix?! Who will fight for the title against Drek Stone? The choice is yours! Back with more in a bit. The camera cuts to The Lightning Crew dressing room where Vitamin X is ranting and waving to a calm PRL, who is holding his HI-YAH World Tag Team Championship belt over his left shoulder. The crowd boos as The LC watches VX rant. PRL’s black spray-painted briefcase sits on the coffee table. VITAMIN X I don’t believe it. I DON’T BELIEVE IT! HOW COULD HE DO THAT!? HOW COULD HE!? I can’t--I can’t take it anymore. I can’t deal with Colombian HACK ANYMORE! I am going to get Stacey Robertson! She is going to be with me if it’s THE LAST THING I DO! "THE CORPORATE CHAMPION" THA PUERTO RICAN Wow. That sucks that he did that. VX You gotta do something, P.R. You gotta help me get her! You gotta help me get Stacey Robertson! THA PUERTO RICAN You want me to help you get Stacey? VX Yeah. PRL You want me to help you win Stacey Robertson’s heart? VX Yes! Please! PRL thinks this over. He even puts his right hand under his chin for added measure. PRL Hmmmmm. Hmmmm. Hmmmmm. Hmmmmm. I think I’ve got an idea on how to help you with your romantic problem, X. VX You do? PRL Yeah. It’s going to piss off Colombian Heat, that’s for certain. Not that I have a problem with doing *THAT*. HAHAHAHA! VITAMIN X Really? Wow, gee, thanks PR. It’s much appreciated! PRL Hey, anytime. I’ll tell you what it is later. VITAMIN X Okay. Thanks. Thanks alot! PRL No problem. Vitamin X high fives PRL and then leaves The Lightning Crew dressing room. PRL watches him leave. PRL Cuban Wall, can I talk to you for a second? CUBAN WALL What? Oh, sure boss. Tha Puerto Rican closes the door to the dressing room. He puts his right arm around Cuban Wall’s shoulders (or atleast tries to). PRL Ahem. Now, Cuban Wall, sometimes I wonder why we hang out. I mean, we really don’t have anything in common with each other. I mean, I’m a man full of love, while you’re a man full of hate. CUBAN WALL That’s not true. I don’t hate alot of things! PRL Oh yeah? Then tell me, Wall, what exactly *do* you hate? CUBAN WALL Well, I hate Colombian Heat. Spinach. Rap music. MySpace. MTV. Comic books. Reality TV. Hippies. Democrats. Liberals. Oh hell, they’re all the same thing! THOMAS RODRIGUEZ Ha ha! CUBAN WALL The NBA. Cartoons. Christmas. Horoscopes. The WWE. TNA. ECW. iPods. Puppies. Kittens. Bunnies. THOMAS Bunnies!? How could you hate bunnies!? WALL Bunnies are only good for shooting practice, my friend. Thomas is disgusted by this comment. CUBAN WALL The internet. Hot Topic. Movies these days. Rising gas prices. Howard Dean. Those plastic CD covers that are impossible to open! PRL Uh...let’s stop there, or else we’ll be here all day. Let’s make things easier, Wall. What things *do* you like? WALL Well, I like kicking ass. Hunting. Drinking beer. Women. Heavy Metal. Ummm, did I say kicking ass already? THA PUERTO RICAN Yes you did. CUBAN WALL Oh. Ummm...uh...err....wow. I guess you’re right. PRL See! You see? I AM right! You hate pretty much everything! But the reason I hang out with you is BECAUSE of that hatred! It's because you can kick ass like no other big man can! You can destroy anything you touch! Which is why that is important going into your match against D*SUX at Mainframe Monday! I need you to take all that hatred, all that negative energy you have for life itself, and I want you to use it on D*LUX! I want you to use all the negative energy, all the negative, hateful fiber in your body, and I want you--I want you to DESTROY D*LUX! No matter what match the fans choose, be it a Steel Cage Match, a Tables Match, or a Latino Thug Street Fight, I want you to go in there and ANILIATE D*LUX ONCE AND FOR ALL! Cuban Wall cracks his knuckles and smiles when he hears this. CUBAN WALL Yeah. Yeah. I know what you want, boss. PRL Good. So, will you do this for me? Will you destroy D*LUX at Mainframe Monday for Tha Puerto Rican? CUBAN WALL Yes! PRL Will you crush D*LUX, and break every bone in their bodies? CUBAN WALL YES! PRL WILL YOU MAKE SURE D*LUX NEVER CHALLENGES ME AND POPICK FOR THE HI-YAH WORLD TAG TEAM TITLES? CUBAN WALL YES!!! PRL AND CAN YOU GO TO THE SODA MACHINE AND GET ME A BOTTLE OF WATER!?!? CUBAN WALL YES!!!!!!!!!!!! PRL YES! YOU AND MR. BORICUA SHALL DESTROY D*LUX AT MAINFRAME MONDAY! CUBAN WALL YES! YES WE WILL!!! PRL EXCELLENT! NOW GO AND GET ME A BOTTLE OF WATER! PRL hands Cuban Wall a dollar. Cuban Wall yells some more as he puts the dollar in his left vest pocket. Wall then punches himself in the head. CUBAN WALL LET’S DO IT! Cuban Wall yells some more as he opens the door and heads to the soda machine to get PRL a bottle of water. Wall can be heard yelling all the way from The Lightning Crew dressing room. PRL smiles evilly as he sees Wall walk to the soda machine. The crowd boos. THA PUERTO RICAN God, I love my job! COLE Mr. Boricua and Cuban Wall will take on D*LUX in either a Tag Team Tables Match, a Steel Cage Match, or a Latino Thug Street Fight this Monday night at OAOAST New Year’s Spectacular: Mainframe Monday! Vote now! Commercial break Edited December 30, 2006 by alfdogg Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted December 29, 2006 *THE CHAMP IS HERE!* "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" A lightning bolt hits the entrance stage. "Know Your Role ’99" starts playing, causing the crowd to start booing uproariously. COLE What the--? What’s he doing out here? COACH Who cares? He’s out here and that’s all that matters! The entrance doors slide open, and "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican appears. The crowd boos some more. PRL is in his wrestling attire and is wearing his HI-YAH World Tag Team Championship belt around his waist and carrying his spray-painted black briefcase with his right hand and a microphone in his left hand. PRL smiles evilly, motioning for the crowd to keep on booing him. COLE It looks like PRL’s going to speak. COACH Gee, ya think? PRL stands on the entrance stage smiling. "THE CORPORATE CHAMPION" THA PUERTO RICAN CUT MY MUSIC! "Know Your Role ’99" dies down. The fans amp up the booing. "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" PRL Now-- "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" PRL The longer you boo, the longer I am going to be out here, so why don’t you know your role, and SHUT YOUR DAMN MOUTHS! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COLE These fans laying into PRL tonight! THA PUERTO RICAN Now, I told my good friend, Vitamin X, that he was going to get Stacey Robertson. And I am a man of my word! That is why-- "ASSSSSSSSSSSHOLE!" "ASSSSSSSSSSSHOLE!" "ASSSSSSSSSSSHOLE!" "ASSSSSSSSSSSHOLE!" PRL sneers at the crowd. PRL (CONT’D) That is why, tonight, in our main event, in...this...very...ring, you will see a match that has...a 'unique' stipulation attached to it. In one corner, you will see...Colombian Heat. "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" PRL And in the other corner, his opponent will be...the 6’9" 300 pound MR. BORICUA! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COLE What? THA PUERTO RICAN Annnnnddddd...the stipulation for this match is as follows. IF Mr. Boricua beats Colombian Heat, then Colombian Heat’s girlfriend, Stacey Robertson...must spend New Year’s Eve with The Lightning Crew! COLE WHAT!? The fans boo that stipulation. PRL smiles evilly some more. PRL Yup. So, Colombian Heat, good luck 'buddy'. Because if you lose, AND YOU WILL, then your girlfriend, the love of your life, will become PROPERTY of The Lightning Crew for the next four days! And there will be ABSOLUTELY NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT! And that’s the truth, Ruth! THE CHAMP HAS SPO-KUN~! "Know Your Role ’99" starts up again. The crowd boos. PRL waves goodbye to the fans and then exits through the entrance doors. COLE I don’t believe it! What a stipulation! Stacey Robertson will be up for grabs later tonight in our main event! COACH Why didn’t I think of doing that? COLE Because you touch yourself at night! "Voodoo Child (Slight Return)" by Jimi Hendrix begins playing. This causes the crowd to stand up and begin booing loudly. A lightning bolt hits the entrance just as the drums kick in. Smoke fills the entryway and strobe lights appear around the entrance set. After a few seconds elapsed, the entrance doors slide open, and out from the smoke appear "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican and Stephen Joseph Popick, the current HI-YAH World Tag Team Champions. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" P.R. plays his HI-YAH World Tag Team Championship belt like a guitar once again, strumming to the tune of "Voodoo Child (Slight Return)". Stephen Joseph Popick stands on the entrance stage, his HI-YAH World Tag Team Championship belt around his waist, and a smirk on his face. He is also carrying PRL’s spray-painted briefcase with the Golden Contract inside. Popick holds his arms out in a crucified position. *PYRO~!* *PYRO~!* *PYRO~!* *PYRO~!* *PYRO~!* The crowd boos some more. Stephen turns around and laughs manically, as does P.R. Puerto Rican slings his HI-YAH World Tag Team Title belt over his left shoulder and then high fives Popick. P.R. points to the ring, and together, the team walks down the entrance ramp as "Voodoo Child (Slight Return)" continues playing. *DING DING DING* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following non-title match is scheduled for one fall with a thirty-minute TV time limit, and is a "Champions Vs. Champions" Match! Introducing first, coming to the ring at this time. At a total combined weight of 445 lbs. They are the reigning HI-YAH Tag Team Champions of the Woooorrrrlllllllddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd! STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK AND "The Corporate Champion" THA PUERTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RICCCCCCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! PRL continues playing his belt like a guitar while Popick holds his head up high, smiling evilly as the two men continue their walk to the ring. COLE PR and Popick wrestling for the last time in the year 2006. And what a year these two men have had. Both men began the year as Champions, Popick the World Heavyweight Champion, P.R. in the midst of his record setting 360-day long 24/7 Title reign. And now they end the year as the current HI-YAH World Tag Team Champions, a title they’ve held since November Reign. COACH It has indeed been a great year for these two superstars. Yes, there have been some bad times in there, but 2006 has been quite a year for The Corporate Champ and his "Career Consultant". It will be a year they will never forget! Tha Puerto Rican climbs onto the ring apron. He sneers at the crowd. At the same time, Stephen Joseph climbs the ring steps and scales a turnbuckle with one leg on the top turnbuckle pad. He scans the crowd and smirks. The crowd boos loudly as "Voodoo Child (Slight Return)" by Jimi Hendrix continues playing. Popick hops into the ring and holds the ropes for Tha Puerto Rican to enter. He spins around; soaking in the fans jeers. Puerto then places his HI-YAH World Tag Team Championship belt in front of him and does the HBK muscle pose while pyro goes off behind him. Popick applauds his partner. COLE This has certainly been quite the year for Tha Puerto Rican. The longest reigning 24/7 Champion in OAOAST history, PRL lost the belt to Leon Rodez at AngleMania V back in April in an incredible Ladder Match. He then started randomly attacking Thunderkid, which begat a personal intense feud between the two that lasted throughout the summer, culminating in a barbaric, brutal "I Quit!" Steel Cage Match that ended when Thunderkid actually CARVED PRL’S FOREHEAD with a piece of a table made into a stake. Then almost immediately following that match, PRL began a feud with the current OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion, "Reckless" Drek Stone, which led to a Throw-In-The-Towel Match for the title at World Without End in October. PRL could have won that match if it weren’t for the disgusting act Drek pulled on all of us. And speaking of disgusting acts, PRL and Popick fooled all of us in November when they SCREWED D*LUX out of the HI-YAH Tag Team Titles, which they are wearing right now as we speak! COACH Hey, that wasn’t disgusting, that was brilliant! No one, NO ONE, saw that coming! I have to applaud Tha Puerto Rican for that one. COLE You do that, but I’ll continue being disgusted by that dastardly deed. PRL takes his belt and briefcase and heads over to a second turnbuckle where he raises both items over his head. The crowd boos. P.R. then heads to another second turnbuckle and raises his belt and briefcase over his head again. PR hits a third second turnbuckle and raises his HI-YAH World Tag Team Championship belt with his right hand in the air and "smells the electricity" a’la The Rock. PRL does the same Rock pose on the fourth second turnbuckle, recieving boos. Tha Puerto Rican gets off the turnbuckle, removes his sunglasses and earring, and chats with Popick. COLE No titles are on the line in this match. This is a matter of pride. For the first time ever, the current HI-YAH World Tag Team Champions will take on the current OAOAST World Tag Team Champions. And considering that neither team is a fan favourite, you have to wonder how these fans will respond to this match! COACH Hopefully, they’ll go crazy for both teams, but I doubt it. COLE I’m pretty sure they won’t, Coach. COACH Dang it. Popick removes his bad ass shades and hands them over to a ringside attendant. PR hands his spray-painted briefcase to the ringside attendant. P.R. and Popick kiss their HI-YAH World Tag Team Championship belts and hand them over to referee Earl Hebner who hands them over to the ringside attendant. P.R. and Popick discuss strategy as "Voodoo Child (Slight Return)" by Jimi Hendrix dies down. P.R. and Popick look to the entrance in their fighting stances, ready to fight while the crowd buzzes in anticipation. COLE The Sooner Bruisers are coming out next. The fans reaction should be interesting to say the least. "Frankenstein" by Edgar Winter starts playing over the P.A. system. The crowd boos, but there are some noticeable cheers scattered here and there. The entrance doors slide open and the Sooner Bruisers themselves come out. Some more cheers are heard, but the Bruisers don’t care. They just look straight to the ring, the OAOAST World Tag Team Championship belts shining around their waist. The OAOAST Tag Team Champs begin their walk down the entrance ramp as "Frankenstein" continues playing. BUFFER And their opponents. From the great state of Oklahoma. At a total combined weight of 535 lbs. They are the reigning One And Only AngleSault Thread Tag Team Champions of the Woooorrrrlllllllddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd! Big Frank Bruiser. Uber Bruiser. THE SOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNEEEEERRRRRRR BRRRRUUUUUUUUIIIISSSSSEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! The Sooner Bruisers continue their walk to the ring. COLE This has been quite the year for the Sooner Bruisers too. They started the year beloved by the fans-- COACH But without any gold. COLE And now they are hated-- COACH But wearing gold. COLE Yes Coach. The Sooner Bruisers didn’t become Champions until AFTER their attitudes changed. But that still doesn’t excuse their actions during the year. Doing beatdowns on Black T and the FORMER Champions, The Heavenly Rockers. Cheating during matches. I thought these guys were models of sportsmanship. Guess I was wrong. COACH You were, but so what? They did what they had to do to get where they are today. They’ve held onto those titles with an iron fist since AngleSlam, and they’re continue to hold onto them as we head into 2007. Yeah, the Heavenly Rockers are gunning for them, but so what? Doesn’t mean a thing. The Sooner Bruisers will beat them once again the next time they meet. COLE And if you’re the Heavenly Rockers, you hope that meeting comes sooner rather than later. The Sooner Bruisers climb onto the ring apron and enter the ring. PRL and Popick get onto the ring apron and watch as The Sooner Bruisers raise their hands in the air to boos. They remove their OAOAST World Tag Team Championship belts and hand them over to Earl Hebner, who hands them over to the ringside attendant. COLE Quite a few differences between both teams. The Sooners are brawlers, while Popick is a technical wrestler and PR is more of a high flyer. The Sooners out weigh P.R./Popick by 90 lbs. And both members of the Sooner Bruisers are taller and definitely more muscular than Tha Puerto Rican! And let’s not forget about the flamboyance and the arrogance from P.R. and Popick, while The Sooner Bruisers are all about wrestling, with none of the entertainment aspect. COACH I can’t wait for this match, Cole. I love both teams. They’re both great champions. This is a dream come true for me! COLE It’s a dream come true for some people I bet. Just not anybody in this crowd. Not one man in this match is beloved by the fans, at least not anymore. But that doesn’t bother any of them. They just want to wrestle. COACH And wrestle they shall, like right now! The Sooner Bruisers warm up in a corner, stretching the ropes and running in place. P.R. and Popick stare at their opponents on the ring apron. Finally, Earl Hebner calls for the bell as "Frankenstein" by Edgar Winter dies down. *DING DING DING* "Champions Vs. Champions" OAOAST WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS VS. HI-YAH WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS THE SOONER BRUISERS (OAOAST World Tag Team Champions) vs. "THE CORPORATE CHAMPION" THA PUERTO RICAN AND STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK (HI-YAH World Tag Team Champions) The crowd is hot for the match. P.R. and Popick do "Rock, Paper, Scissors" to decide who goes first. P.R.’s scissors beats Popick’s paper, so Puerto is the first one in. "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" P.R. high fives Popick and then circles the ring with Uber Bruiser, who is starting for his team. The arrogant Corporate Champ taunts The Psycho Gremlin, who keeps his game face on. COLE Both teams are in the midst of bitter feuds right now, so you have to wonder how much attention they are paying to this match. P.R. and Uber Bruiser lock up. They jockey for position, and then Bruiser shoves PRL onto the mat! And the crowd cheers! COLE Whoa! How about that! The crowd is cheering The Psycho Gremlin! COACH I knew they’d come around. PRL is stunned at what just happened. Big Frank Bruiser yells at P.R.L. which actually spooks him out! Popick tells PR to remain calm and continue wrestling. Puerto Rican and Uber Bruiser circle each other again and lock up. And once again, Uber shoves PRL onto the mat, and once again the crowd cheers! Puerto complains of hair pulling, but Earl Hebner ain’t buying it. P.R. has a Caesar’s haircut for crying out loud! COLE The P.R. Menace is shocked at what’s happened in this match thus far! For a third time, PR and Uber Bruiser circle each other and lock up--NO! PRL kicks Bruiser in the stomach and then grabs a headlock on him. Puerto cinches the hold tight, taunting the Sooner Bruiser. But the taunting ends as Uber Bruiser walks backwards into the ropes and sends PRL into the opposite ropes. He follows with a shoulderblock which knocks the HI-YAH World Tag Team Champion down to the mat! COACH I am enjoying this match thus far. PR slowly gets up...and gets hit in the face by Big Frank Bruiser! PRL stumbles around the ring until he ends up in his corner, where he tags in Stephen Joseph Popick. COLE PR ain’t going to win a power match with the Sooner Bruisers. I’ll tell you that much. COACH The high flyer had his shot. Now it’s the technical wrestler’s turn! Popick looks sort of hesitant to enter the ring, but eventually does so. SJP looks to be intimated by the power of The Sooner Bruisers, but tries to hide it by puffing his chest up and making a growling noise. It doesn’t work, obviously. Stephen Joseph Popick heads to a neutral corner and slaps himself in the face repeatedly to get psych up. Popick locks up with Uber Bruiser, and is able to apply a headlock on him. Just like PRL before, Uber Bruiser walks backwards into the ropes and shoots Popick into the opposite ropes where he then gets hit with a shoulderblock! The crowd cheers! COLE It looks like the fans have picked whose side they’re on for this match! COACH I don’t know how I feel about that. It’s so hard to choose between these two teams! Choices. Uber Bruiser screams in Popick’s face. That’s enough to cause the former OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion to get back to his feet. The two men lock up again. Popick gains the advantage by applying an arm-wringer on The Psycho Gremlin. He then clubs the back of Bruiser’s right arm, and then takes him over to his corner where he makes the tag to Tha Puerto Rican. PRL quickly hops onto the top rope and jumps off with a punch to Uber Bruiser’s right arm! COLE Nice teamwork by PR and Popick! COACH Like McDonald’s, I’m lovin’ it! PRL applies an arm-wringer on Uber Bruiser. He cinches the hold tight. However, Uber Bruiser takes PRL over to the ropes and shoots him off into the opposite ropes. He goes for a clothesline, but PRL holds onto the ropes and slides out of the ring! COLE PRL avoiding contact there. PRL stops to catch his breath on the outside...but not for long as Big Frank Bruiser charges after him and catches him with the Soonerline! COLE OH MY! And what a shot! What a brutal clothesline from one-half of the Sooner Bruisers! COACH Um...boo? Frank Bruiser is not done yet. He picks up Tha Puerto Rican by his head, knocking his Puerto Rican flag bandana off in the process, and hoists him up into a gorilla press slam position. Big Frank Bruiser tosses Tha Puerto Rican through the middle rope into the ring where he gets up, looks at Big Frank, and then gets clotheslined over the top rope and onto the floor by Uber Bruiser! "YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" The force of the clothesline causes PRL to hit the barricade and then do a Flair Flop onto the floor! COLE And The Sooner Bruisers just dominating Tha Puerto Rican right now! COACH It doesn’t matter that there’s no titles on the line. They just want to fight! COLE PRL is on dream street right now! COACH Ooh, I loved that band! PRL crawls around ringside, looking to escape. Stephen Joseph Popick gets off the ring apron and joins up with PR. He just watches as P.R.L. crawls up the entrance ramp. COLE PRL is leaving! He doesn’t want to fight these guys anymore! COACH Well, it’s his choice. He doesn’t want to fight, he doesn’t have to. No titles are on the line. COLE But pride is, and it looks like PRL’s pride has been hurt! PRL crawls up the entrance ramp, but Popick stops him by grabbing his tights, showing an unnecessary shot of PRL’s bare ass in the process. Popick helps his friend up and then talks to him, telling him that they have to fight the Sooner Bruisers to prove they are the best tag team in the OAOAST. COLE Popick with some words of wisdom for his friend and tag team partner. COACH Ain’t Popick a great friend? PR whines in that high-pitched voice of his that he doesn’t want to fight anymore, but Popick grabs him by the shoulders and shakes him, ordering him to continue the match! Meanwhile we see an instant replay of PRL holding the ropes, sliding out of the ring, and then getting Soonerlined by Big Frank Bruiser. COLE PR is heading back to ringside, but after what just happened, you can’t really blame him for wanting to leave. COACH Well...yeah. You’re right. This won’t be an easy match for PRL. Puerto taunts a fan at ringside and then heads back into the ring as Popick goes back to the ring apron. P.R. stares at both members of The Sooner Bruisers, who are standing in their corner, sneering at Tha Puerto Rican. PRL sneers back. "THE CORPORATE CHAMPION" THA PUERTO RICAN YOU WANT SOME OF THIS!?!? THE SOONER BRUISERS YES!!! PRL Oh...uh...um...Popick, go kick their asses. PR makes the tag to Stephen Joseph. Popick is surprised by this, but enters the ring, staring at Uber Bruiser with determination in his eyes. COACH Popick going for it again! This should be good! Popick and Uber Bruiser lock up--NO! Uber Bruiser kicks Popick in the stomach, and then applies an arm-wringer on him in a bit of payback from earlier. Uber Bruiser pulls on Popick’s left arm, and then makes the tag to Big Frank Bruiser, making his first appearance in the match. The Sooner Bruisers whip Stephen Joseph Popick into the ropes. Uber Bruiser ducks down onto the mat, so that SJP can leap over him...right into a SOONERLINE from Big Frank Bruiser! COLE Soonerline! Popick has just been hit with that tremendous clothesline by Big Frank Bruiser! COACH Boo! I mean, yea! I mean...oh I don’t know! Big Frank smirks at the fallen Popick. He picks the HI-YAH World Tag Team Champion up. *CHOP!* "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" *CHOP!* "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" The Man Of Tomorrow unleashes a combination of chops and punches on Popick on the ropes. He then applies a wristlock on Stephen Joseph Popick, causing PRL to panic on the ring apron. Bruiser punches Popick in the chest, and then applies a side headlock on him. However, this time it’s Popick who walks backwards into the ropes, shooting Big Frank Bruiser into the opposite ropes. Popick ducks down, so Bruiser jumps over him and into the other ropes--right into a knee to the back from Tha Puerto Rican! COLE What a cheapshot there! Popick follows that up with high angle neckbreaker taking the OAOAST World Tag Team Champion down to the mat! COLE And Popick taking advantage of PRL’s cheating ways with that high angle neckbreaker! COACH That a boy, P.R.! Show these men why you’re the HI-YAH World Tag Team Champions! SJP picks Frank Bruiser up by his hair and then takes him over to his corner where PRL is waiting with his left foot stretched out on the top rope. And yes, Popick throws Frank into PRL’s left foot. He then sets Big Frank Bruiser up on the turnbuckle and starts stomping a mudhole in him. Popick chokes Big Frank with his bare hands. This causes Earl Hebner to come in and break things up. While Earl Hebner pulls Popick away from Bruiser and scolds him, PRL uses his own bare hands to choke The Man Of Tomorrow! The crowd boos loudly. "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" COLE Popick and PRL have not been a tag team for as long as the Sooner Bruisers have, and yet they are wrestling like they’ve been tag team partners their entire lives! COACH They learn fast, P.R. and Popick. They’re fast learners. That’s why they’re already nominated for the 2006 OAOAST Tag Team Of The Year Award despite only teaming regularly for two months! COLE And fans, you can catch the 2006 Angle Awards this Sunday night on TSM! PR’s choking causes Uber Bruiser to enter the ring. And this causes Earl Hebner to go over to him and force him back to his corner. All this does is cause Popick to go over and kick Big Frank in the stomach while PRL continues to choke him! COLE What a double team on Big Frank Bruiser! COACH They’re doing some good old fashioned tag team wrestling, that’s what they’re doing! PRL stops choking Big Frank Bruiser the moment Earl Hebner turns around. Uber Bruiser complains about the choking, but PRL plays innocent, drawing a halo around his head and scolding Uber Bruiser for telling a "lie". Stephen Joseph stomps Frank Bruiser some more, and then makes the tag to Puerto Rican. SJP Irish whips Big Frank Bruiser into the ropes. He then gives him a drop toehold. P.R. then bounces off the ropes, leaps up, and drops down with an elbow drop onto the back of Big Frank Bruiser! COLE That was like a mini-Corporate Elbow Drop, was it not? COACH It sure was. PRL smiles at Uber Bruiser, then spits in his general direction! This brings out Uber Bruiser into the ring. Earl Hebner holds him back while PRL picks Frank up and slams his head on the top turnbuckle pad. PRL then taunts Uber Bruiser, while Stephen Joseph Popick beats on Big Frank Bruiser in the corner. The punches drive Frank Bruiser onto the mat! COLE Like it or not, the HI-YAH World Tag Team Champions are in control of the OAOAST World Tag Team Champions! COACH I like it. Don’t like the Sooner Bruisers getting beaten, but at least it’s by P.R./Popick. PRL continues taunting Uber Bruiser, acting like he’s his parents, scolding him for telling a "lie". PRL Young man, you know what I say about telling fibs! You should be ashamed of yourself! You’re grounded for a week! HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA! PR shoves Uber Bruiser, which causes him to enter the ring again! Earl Hebner holds him back while PRL scoots back to his corner, "putting up his dukes" the entire time. Once he’s at his corner, Popick holds Big Frank Bruiser up so that PRL can punch him in the face repeatedly. That stops when Earl Hebner catches the double teaming on Frank. Popick lets go of Frank, so Sooner Bruiser collapses to the mat. Puerto gives Big Frank Bruiser a snapmare takeover and then tags in Stephen Joseph Popick. COLE Popick and PR using the tag team strategy to a ’T’! P.R.L. picks Big Frank up. Popick scales the top rope. Popick launches off the top rope with a bulldog taking The Man Of Tomorrow down! He then makes the cover, hooking Frank’s left leg. 1... 2... KICK OUT! COLE Big Frank not down and out just yet! Popick picks up Big Frank Bruiser by his head. He gives him a wheelbarrow suplex! Popick then picks Big Frank up again and punches him in the face. He then whips him into the HI-YAH Tag Champs corner. Frank hits the turnbuckle sternum first! Frank stumbles out, and Popick grabs him from behind and hits him with a German Suplex! SJP then picks Big Frank up again. He hits him with the X-Factor! COLE That 3-move combo that Popick always does, he did them again! The Wheelbarrow Suplex, the German Suplex, and the X-Factor, and all done in succession! And it looks like the Sooner Bruisers maybe in trouble here! SJP picks up Big Frank once again and sets him up in his and P.R.’s corner. He makes the tag to Puerto. Together, the HI-YAH World Tag Team Champions just start pounding on Big Frank Bruiser, ignoring Earl Hebner’s warning. COLE The HI-YAH World Tag Team Champions are in control! And we’ll be right back! PRL and Popick finally stop punching Big Frank Bruiser as we go to commercial break. Commercials We return to HeldDOWN~! with Tha Puerto Rican applying a front facelock on Big Frank Bruiser. COLE Welcome back fans, and the Corporate Champion and his manager have continued to control the Sooner Bruisers in this non-title match-up. The fans actually begin clapping their hands in unison, trying to get the Sooner Bruisers to rally back. Frank starts getting to his feet, causing PRL to worry. Frank finally gets to his feet and goes for an inverted atomic drop, but PRL lands on his feet! Frank tries for the inverted atomic drop again, but PRL once again lands on his feet! Finally, Frank lifts PRL up for the atomic drop...and simply throws him onto the mat! COLE Check out the power of Big Frank Bruiser! PRL clutches his stomach in pain. The crowd cheers. Frank starts to get up, but PRL grabs his legs, forcing him to stop. P.R. gets up himself and takes Frank over to a neutral corner. PRL whips Big Frank Bruiser into the opposite turnbuckle. PRL runs towards him a few seconds later, so when Frank hits the turnbuckle sternum first, PRL bumps into him and gets knocked down! COLE PRL and Big Frank collided! You could hear their heads bumping into each other from right here! Both PR and Big Frank lie on the mat. They both start getting up. The crowd comes to life, rooting for the Sooner Bruiser to make the tag. Big Frank Bruiser starts crawling over to his corner while Tha Puerto Rican continues lying in the center of the ring. COLE Big Frank’s going to do it! COACH HE’S GOING TO DO IT! Big Frank Bruiser uses the second rope to pull himself up. PRL starts crawling over to his corner. COLE This might be the break The Sooner Bruisers need! Big Frank Bruiser jumps a few inches and makes the hot tag to Uber Bruiser! "YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COACH Here comes The Psycho Gremlin! Once Uber Bruiser is in the ring, he immediately hits PRL with the Soonerline! Popick enters the ring, and he too, gets Soonerlined! PR gets up, so Uber Bruiser gives him the Soonerline again! Popick charges forward, and gets hit with the Soonerline again! Uber Bruiser kicks PRL in the gut and then Irish whips him into the ropes. Powerslam! Uber Bruiser howls to the sky and the fans actually cheer! COLE Hey, wait a second! It’s Cuban Wall! Indeed, the Muscle for The Lightning Crew is walking down the entrance ramp, watching the match with a keen eye. Meanwhile, Uber Bruiser has whipped Stephen Joseph Popick into the ropes and given him a Soonerline! The Psycho Gremlin grabs PRL and then whips him into the ropes--PRL reverses--and Cuban Wall trips Uber Bruiser up! COLE Uh-oh. This isn’t good! Uber Bruiser turns his attention to Cuban Wall, yelling at him and lunging after him. Wall taunts the Sooner Bruiser, which is just what he wanted him to do, so that PRL can attack Uber Bruiser from behind! COLE And PRL laying into Uber Bruiser! However, Uber Bruiser soon fights back and gets into a slugfest with PRL! But that is stopped when Stephen Joseph Popick enters the fray and helps PRL with Uber Bruiser! COACH Popick and PRL are taking on Uber Bruiser! The HI-YAH World Tag Team Champions double team one-half of the OAOAST World Tag Team Champions, punching him repeatedly in the face. But that soon ends as Big Frank Bruiser appears and attacks Popick! COLE We’re all even now! The two teams are going at it! PRL takes on Uber Bruiser. Popick takes on Big Frank Bruiser. The four men slug it out...until Cuban Wall enters the ring and attacks both Sooner Bruisers! COACH So much for being even! Cuban Wall head butts Uber Bruiser and Big Frank Bruiser. The crowd boos. Earl Hebner has no choice but to call for the bell. *DING DING DING* (7:11) COLE No! No! No! Cuban Wall has ended the match! He’s attacking BOTH Sooner Bruisers! COACH Now come on, Wall. You don’t have to do THAT. Come on. Stop. With Cuban Wall having weakened the Sooner Bruisers, PRL and Popick go to work on them. This causes the crowd to boo some more. P.R.L. beats on Big Frank Bruiser, while SJP beats on Uber Bruiser. All hope is lost...until SPANISH FLY runs down the entrance ramp and enters the ring! COLE Spanish Fly! Spanish Fly is here! Spanish Fly is taking on The Lightning Crew and Popick! Spanish Fly punches PR in the face, then punches Popick! He goes back and forth punching both of his mortal enemies. He then punches Cuban Wall a few times for good measure. COACH What is that little pipsqueak doing here? He has no match tonight! COLE But his best friend Colombian Heat does, and he’s supporting him by being here! Spanish Fly’s appearance has allowed the Sooner Bruisers to leave the ring, the OAOAST World Tag Team Championship belts over their shoulders. As the Sooner Bruisers walk up the entrance ramp, Spanish Fly gets PRL dazed and confused by punching him again and again. Fly then bounces off the ropes, grabs PRL with his legs, goes up, and brings PRL down with the Rube Goldberg bulldog! Spanish Fly then charges after Popick and gives him a hurricarana, which sends him sailing into the second rope! Cuban Wall charges forward with a clothesline, but Spanish Fly ducks, bounces off the ropes, and fires with a front dropkick to Wall’s right knee. He then bounces off the ropes again and hits a front dropkick to Wall’s left knee. Fly then bounces off the ropes a third time and hits Cuban Wall with a front dropkick to the face knocking him down! "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COLE Spanish Fly has just taken all three men out! I don’t believe it! COACH Who said he could be out here? Where’s security? The crowd is going nuts! Spanish Fly fires them up some more! He then sees SJP resting on the second rope. The crowd knows exactly what he is thinking. SPANISH FLY 6-1-9! COLE 6-1-9 coming up! Spanish Fly bounces off the rope--NO! Mr. Boricua pulls the top rope down so Spanish Fly goes flying out (no pun intended)! COLE Mr. Boricua is here! And he just pulled Spanish Fly out of the ring! COACH And look who else is here! Vitamin X is here! And he and Mr. Boricua start beating the crap out of Spanish Fly! COLE On the outside, Spanish Fly is being manhandled by two members of The Lightning Crew! COACH Serves him right for trying to interfere in this match! COLE What? The match is over! The bell had already rung when Cuban Wall entered the ring! COACH He was still trying to stick his *mask* where it doesn’t belong! This is his payback! VX and Mr. B severely weaken the masked luchador. Vitamin X whips Spanish Fly into the ring steps which he hits left shoulder first. Mr. Boricua kicks Fly in the face (well, mask) and then picks him up. Vitamin X laughs manically and then smiles evilly. COLE What a brutal shot! The Lightning Crew is beating down on one of the #1 Contenders to PRL and Popick’s HI-YAH World Tag Team Titles! COACH They’re softening him up for the eventual match! They’re making sure Spanish Fly will not be 100% no matter when that match takes place! Great idea! By now, Tha Puerto Rican, Stephen Joseph Popick, and Cuban Wall have recovered from Spanish Fly’s attack, so they watch as Vitamin X throws Spanish Fly into the ring. VX and Mr. Boricua follow. Together, the members of The Lightning Crew and Stephen Joseph Popick do a beatdown on Spanish Fly! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COLE Spanish Fly is not moving! He’s just lying there, taking all this punishment from The Lightning Crew! COACH The Lightning Crew are stomping him into the mat! HA HA! A "P.R. SUCKS!" chant starts up. Popick and The LC continue laying into Spanish Fly both physically and verbally. "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" COLE The LC are just decimating Spanish Fly, just like they decimated D*LUX two weeks ago! COACH The Lightning Crew is on a roll! I am loving it! PR orders for The Lightning Crew and Popick to pick Spanish Fly up. Spanish Fly is severely weakened. He is breathing hard and barely able to stand. Still, PRL hooks Fly up...and drives him down to the mat with the Latin Slam! COLE Latin Slam! Latin Slam on Spanish Fly! PRL, Popick, and the rest of The Lightning Crew laugh manically over what they’ve just done. PRL high fives Vitamin X. "LET’S GO FLY!" "LET’S GO FLY!" "LET’S GO FLY!" "LET’S GO FLY!" COACH Chant that all you want. It’s not going to work! Spanish Fly is down! COLE Sad as it is to say, you’re right. Spanish Fly is unconscious. The lights are on, but nobodies home. COACH Spanish Fly has been squished like the annoying pest that he is! Bravo, Lightning Crew, bravo! Stephen Joseph Popick drags Spanish Fly into the center of the ring. Popick tells Vitamin X to go up. Despite being in street clothes, Vitamin X exits the ring and climbs the top rope. Popick and Cuban Wall hold Spanish Fly in place. He positions himself on top...and then leaps off the top rope, hitting Spanish Fly with the Leap Of Faith! COLE Spanish Fly is being dismantled right before our very eyes! Tha Puerto Rican tells Vitamin X, "Not bad." Popick then tells PRL to climb the top rope. P.R. obliges, exiting the ring and climbing the top rope. The crowd stands up and starts booing. PRL removes his left elbow pad, throws it into the crowd, and then positions himself on top. COACH It’s PR’s turn now! Cuban Wall and Stephen Joseph Popick hold Spanish Fly in place. "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican smiles evilly...and then leaps off the top rope, doing the "Up yours!" hand gesture in mid-air...and hits Spanish Fly with the Corporate Elbow Drop! COLE They’re just like vultures, circling their prey! PRL gets right back up and smirks at Spanish Fly. THA PUERTO RICAN YOU’RE NOT GOING TO HELP YOUR FRIEND NOW! PRL does the "You can’t see me!" hand gesture, and then kicks Fly in the head! COLE PRL has taken Spanish Fly out of the equation. Now Colombian Heat won’t have any backup tonight when he takes on Mr. Boricua! COACH It’s Fly’s own fault for coming out here! He should have just stayed in the back! He had no business appearing right now! COLE You might just be right. Spanish Fly has been taken out. Colombian Heat is in a bad way later tonight! The Lightning Crew and Stephen Joseph Popick gloat over their beatdown. Spanish Fly is knocked out. Vitamin X shouts out, "BOO-YAH~!" for no real reason. The crowd chants, "P.R. SUCKS!" once again. The Lightning Crew and Popick stand in the center of the ring and raise their hands in victory. COLE These men are despicable! Their actions are unfit for professional wrestling! For human beings! "Voodoo Child (Slight Return)" by Jimi Hendrix starts playing again. EMTs come to check on Spanish Fly. Meanwhile, The Lightning Crew and Popick all engage in a group hug. They gloat some more as EMTs check on Spanish Fly. COLE This is tragic. This is a tragic occurrence. The Lightning Crew has struck again! Spanish Fly will never forget this night! COACH And neither will Colombian Heat, if he loses later on tonight! COLE And he just might. Things are NOT going Colombian Heat’s way now. COACH But they continue going The Lightning Crew’s way! Woo-hoo! 2006 is going to end on a good note for The Lightning Crew! COLE And a bad note for Spanish Fly and quite possibly Colombian Heat! Heat still has to fight Mr. Boricua in our main event, with Stacey Robertson on the line! What’s going to happen in our main event? We’ll be right back! The Lightning Crew and Stephen Joseph Popick continue gloating. "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican and Stephen Joseph Popick raise their HI-YAH World Tag Team Championship belts in the air and laugh manically. EMTs check on Spanish Fly as "Voodoo Child (Slight Return)" by Jimi Hendrix continues playing. PRL and Popick laugh evilly as we go to a commercial break. Commercials Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted December 29, 2006 COLE We're back on HeldDOWN and standing by is Tony Schiavone and he's with The Enterprise! Tony, take it away... Backstage we go to the OAOAST's Update Center, which looks strangely like the desk ringside back when NWA was on the TBS Super Station. Go figure, because Tony Schiavone is standing behind the desk, microphone in hand and ready to go. SCHIAVONE Well, Christmas has come and gone and now we are all looking ahead to the New Year, more so than usual this year with the New Year's Spectacular, Mainframe Monday, live from Daytona Beach on New Year's Day! And my guests at this time have plenty of vested interest in Mainframe Monday, Theodore Moneymaker and his Enterprise. From the left side of the screen, the five members of The Enterprise walk in. Moneymaker leads the way, standing himself next to Schiavone and adjusting his smoking jacket with a big smile on his face. Mackenzie and The Beverly Hills Blonds, who are dressed in their pastel blue suits, plus Christian Wright clad in the red polyester jacket of much expence follow. Christian drops his briefcase on the desk as The Enterprise assemble themselves in shot. All of them seem to be sporting new ROLEX WATCHES, presumably Christmas present from the leader himself. SCHIAVONE Gentlemen, the World Tag Team Championship will be the focus of your attention at Mainframe Monday. And all four of you will be entered into the match, be it a Battle Royal, Triple Chance Battle Royal or Tag Team Turmoil, which begs the question, what is the gameplan? MONEYMAKER What is the gameplan? The gameplan, little man, is to come away with those OAOAST World Tag Team Championships in our possession. And that's EXACTLY what's gonna happen on New Year's Day. You see Tony Schiavone, those poor peasants out there in TV land might be exciting about the thought of finally having some power in their miserable lives, assuming they're running the show this New Year. But no amount of votes is going to change the outcome. The destination of those World Tag Team Championships is determined by one thing and one thing alone. Cold, hard, cash! Ned starts to applaud, showing off his gleaming 'HUSTLER' cufflinks, Simon nodding his head in agreement beside him. MONEYMAKER It's no coincidence that out of six teams competing for those belts, you've got two respresenting The Enterprise. It didn't take much convincing the powers that be that myself and Christian should be involved. Our record since he joined the fold speaks for itself. But, I'll be honest, for some reason the 'higher ups' were a little less co-operative about The Beverly Hills Blonds' inclusion. SCHIAVONE Well that may be because they were scheduled to face Los Diablos, until Ned's 'groin injury' popped up. BLANCHARD And that's the only thing that's 'popped up' since then, so I suggest you drop the suspicious tone in your voice. You're looking at a wounded man here. I couldn't even defend myself last week against those depraved deportees, you saw it! And to make matters worse, their 'antics' caused me to suffer a relapse of my injury last week. (grimaces) A lesser man would be in traction right now. It's all I can do to pull this suit on in the morning. Infact, were it not so exclusively and finely tailored, I might not even be here tonight. I have but one person to thank for being here though. And that's you Teddy. The 'humbled' Theodore Moneymaker turns to Ned and places a comforting arm on his shoulders. BLANCHARD This man has generously funded, out of his own pocket no less, my recouperation efforts. And this week, I was whisked away to the warm waters of Vero Beach, where the finest physical therapists known to man have attended to my injury. Night and day those ladies worked on The Handsome Hustler. And thank the Lord we made progress. Unfortunately, I'm still not in the kind of shape to pull double duty on New Year's Day... SINGLETON Depending on how the after-party goes, of course. BLANCHARD ...but I'm confident I can do myself justice in the Tag Team Title Match. SCHIAVONE I'm sure your fans will be glad to hear it's not a 'serious' injury. The sarcasm in Tony's voice earns him some sharp looks. MONEYMAKER Are you a doctor? SCHIAVONE Well, no, it's just tha... MONEYMAKER Are you a doctor!? SCHIAVONE No I'm not... MONEYMAKER Then keep those lips buttoned little man. If I want a second opinion, I'll pay for one from a trained professional! Not some glorified quote-un-quote 'journalist'! You don't know just how serious the injury is. But I'll tell ya this, Ned Blanchard is a man. A real man. A man who will fight through the pain barrier for all those nine to five, nickel n' dimers out there who'll throw down their measly wages on this New Year's show. And don't you worry about Los Diablos. They're taken care of. It won't be at The Beverly Hills Blonds' hands, sadly, but they WILL get what's coming to them! All five members of The Enterprise nod in agreement. MONEYMAKER And it's going to be a triple celebration for The Enterprise. Not only are these men going to bask in the wealth of Theodore Moneymaker and the most lavish New Year's Party my money can buy... not only are we gonna bask in the knowledge that Los Diablos are finally dealt with... but we are also going to bask in the glory of those OAOAST World Tag Team Championships little man! Whether it's myself and my Financial Analyst Christian Wright... Wright pats the briefcase and nods, Ned patting his stable-mate on the back. MONEYMAKER ...or whether it's The Beverly Hills Blonds walking away with their fourth World Tag Team Title. It doesn't matter either way. You're looking at four men destined for greatness. One way or another, The Enterprise will walk away with those World Tag Team Titles. And Schiavone, you can take THAT to the bank! MWUAHAHAHAHA!! And on that note, the note of Theodore Moneymaker's low voice cackling away, The Enterprise walk away with self-congratulation high on the agenda. Tony Schiavone just watches on shaking his head at the arrogance of the fivesome. SCHIAVONE The Enterprise in high spirits! Let's go back to ringside. Cut to the interview stage(~!) and the incomporable Mene Gene Okerlund, standing by. OKERLUND Ladies and gentlemen, my guests at this time... with their manager JADE RODEZ, they are D*LUX!!! "YYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" "JUST ONE ON ONE THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT BABY! JUST ONE ON ONE, THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT! JUST ONE ON ONE THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT BABY! JUST ONE ON ONE, THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT!" As "First To Believe" thumps through the arena, out come D*LUX. "Tremendous" Tyler and "Showtime" Shayne lead the way up the steps to the interview stage, with Jade cutting a rather forlorn figure behind them. The trio get a warm reception from the fans around the interview stage and they acknowledge it, despite clearly not being in the best of moods. OKERLUND Jade, gentlemen, thank you for joining me out here... during what has to be considered a challenging time. Right now, you're going through argueable the toughest period of your young career as a team. No longer HI-YAH Tag Team Champion, nor the Number One Contenders after last week. You've come through tough times in the past, can you do so once again with the weight of so many challenges on your shoulders? JADE It has been tough recently Gene. PRL and Popick tricked us and took our titles. The Lightning Crew are all after us. And the only team we thought we could rely on to help us can't help holding a grudge. To be honest, I'm... not all that sure what to do. At times like this, I'd turn to my brother, but... Jade hangs her head a little, audibly sighing to herself. JADE ...he's still at home recovering from his neck injury. I talk to him about stuff over e-mail and text messages.I instant message him all the time and I'm on his friends list on MySpace. But it's not the same as him being here, ya know, whenever I need some advice to just go down the hall or whatever and talk to him. Which is why the other day I looked at myself in the mirror, I looked and I looked... and then Melody Nerdly showed up and slapped me upside the head and told me to snap out of it. Or, words to that effect. OKERLUND She slapped you!? JADE Yeah. She's got issues. But, the point is, she was right. I can't rely on my brother to help me out all the time. It's time for me to stand on my own two feet and I guess Leon's injury is the excuse to start trying. I've got to sort this out myself, along with Tyler and Shayne of course. The boybanders both nod in agreement. JADE Sooner or later, we're going to get our belts back, for the third time. We're not the Number One Contenders, but we'll be watching very closely when Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly cash in on their title shot. And if PRL and Popick or Heat and Fly think we're done with those belts, then they're, like, totally wrong. OKERLUND Well, of more immediate concern is your match at New Year's Spectacular with Mr. Boricua and Cuban Wall. It'll be either a Tag Team Tables Match, a Tag Team Steel Cage Match or a Latino Thug Street Fight. Whatever way the vote goes, you'll be up against the two biggest members of the Lightning Crew, but do you have a preference over which match you'll compete in? JADE Not really. We've got a gameplan ready for each match, so whatever the fans vote for we'll be ready for. Boricua and Wall are the biggest team in terms of weight and height and all that we've ever had to wrestle so obviously we're going to be under a little bit of a disadvantage from the start. They like to throw people around. A couple of bullies. But if they think D*LUX are gonna be afraid, they're wrong. The bigger they are, the harder they fall, right? OKERLUND I believe that's the saying, yes. JADE Then that's what's gonna happen. Nobody's going to give us a hope, but nobody gave us a hope against Christian Wright and Bohemoth. Nobody gave us a hope against The Beverly Hills Blonds. Nobody gave us a hope against The Global Party Exchange. But these guys fought the odds and came out on top those times, so New Year's Day, they're going to try and do the same. Tyler will be Tremendous, it'll be Showtime for Shayne and together, we are going to be better than standard, we'll be above average, infact, they'll be D*LUX!! TYLER YEAH-UH!!! Tyler signs off on the interview and "First To Believe" hits, as the trio head back to whence they came. COLE Jade Rodez and D*LUX with a statement of intent here tonight. And hey, Jade Rodez is on MySpace! COACH MySpace? Lame! COLE *pouts* We cut now to a black and white shot of the OAOAST Corporate Headquarters, and slowly zoom in to see a figure standing on the rooftop. "Bruce Blank, you have made my life a living hell. You have pushed me farther than anyone that came before you. Mentally, physically, emotionally, I am a broken man because of you." The camera circles the rooftop, moving around as it closes in on Zack Malibu staring into the distance over the rim of his sunglasses. "My company has suffered. My family has suffered. My friends have suffered. I cannot forgive you for what you've done, nor can I forgive myself for allowing you to terrorize them all." Suddenly, quick jumpcuts of the most brutal moments in Zack Malibu and Bruce Blank's history flicker across the screen. "You have humiliated me. You have broken me. But you have not beaten me. I have something left. I'm inviting you, Bruce, come and ring in the New Year with me. Mainframe Monday, you'll hear about what I have to offer. My last chance at redemption could be the one chance you've wanted this whole time." The camera quickly zooms back, away from Malibu's stern look, all the way back to its original shot of the OAOAST Headquarters, as the screen breaks down into matrix code, forming this announcement: ZACK MALIBU RETURNS IN 2007~! OAOAST MAINFRAME MONDAY. JANUARY 1st, 2007. Commercial break MARIA Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome... BATISTAAAAA!! (off screen) Bohemoth. MARIA ...BOHEMOOOOOTH!! Shaking his head, Bohemoth strides into shot and adjusts his orange shades, 24/7 Title hung over his right shoulder and looking the very model of cool as ever. So much so that Maria freezes up. You know, like, more than usual. BOHEMOTH Uhm... okay. Reject, last week you got the one up on me. But enjoy it while you can. There's nowhere to run on New Year's Day if you want that victory. You've got no partners. It's you, me and Thunderkid, winner takes all. And I intend on paying you back for last week. And Thunderkid? Nothing personal buddy, it's strictly business, but if you get in my way then you'll suffer the same fate. It doesn't matter which title's on the line. Either way, I'M walking out with the gold. Bohemoth glances over his shoulder, where Maria is still motionless. BOHEMOTH Call me. *THUD!* Maria collapses and Bohemoth strolls off, as we go back to ringside. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted December 29, 2006 "LIGHTNING CREW!" The crowd starts booing loudly. The lights go down in the arena as the opening to "No Chance In Hell" starts playing. Smoke fills the entryway. Then, the crescendo hits, a lightning bolt hits the entrance, and "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds starts playing. *No chance (No chance) That’s what ya got! (Ha, ha, yeah) We’re up against no machine too strong (Too strong) Pussy politicians buying souls for us are...PUPPETS! (Puppets!)* A Mexican flag is shown waving proudly on the AngleTron. The entrance doors slide open, and Mr. Boricua comes out with the crowd booing more. Mr. Boricua looks at the crowd. He grunts, snorts, and cracks his knuckles. Mr. B yells, and then walks down the entrance ramp, a scowl on his face. *But will find their place in line (In line) But tie a string around your finger now boy cuz Cuz it’s just a matter of time Cuz you’ve got...NO CHANCE! (You’ve got no chance) NO CHANCE IN HELL! You’ve got...NO CHANCE! (Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!) NO CHANCE IN HELL! You’ve got...NO CHANCE! (Got no chance) NO CHANCE IN HELL! You’ve got...NO CHANCE! (Chance!) NO CHANCE IN HELL!* *DING DING DING* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a No Disqualification Match scheduled for one fall with TV time limit remaining. And if Mr. Boricua wins, then Stacey Robertson MUST SPEND New Year’s Eve with The Lightning Crew. Introducing first, coming to the ring at this time. From Tijuana, Mexico. Weighing in at 300 lbs. He is the bodyguard for The Lightning Crew, MISTERRRRRRRRRR BOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIICCCCCCCCCCUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAAAA! Mr. Boricua yells at the fans as "No Chance In Hell" continues playing. COLE Well, this is a big one. Lots is on the line in this one match! Stacey Robertson may just have to spend New Year’s Eve with Vitamin X if Colombian Heat loses this match. COACH Vitamin X has been looking forward to this match all night. How much of a shot does Colombian Heat have against Mr. Boricua anyway? Spanish Fly is unconscious. D*LUX hate him. He’s all alone! HA HA! And I love it! *Come on Come on Come and get it! (Come and get it!) Come on! (Come on!) Come on Come on Come and get it! (Come and get it!) Come on! (Come on!) Come on Come on Come and get it! (Come and get it!) Come on! (Come on!)* Mr. Boricua climbs over the top rope to enter the ring. A spotlight shines on Mr. B in the center of the ring. Boricua does The Lightning Crew Salute to boos. COLE This is the last main event of HeldDOWN~! for 2006. And the question on everyone’s mind is, will we end the year on a high note or a low note? COACH God willing, it’s a low note. COLE The pressure is on Colombian Heat. Either he wins or his girlfriend, the love of his life, must be forced to be with the disgusting Lightning Crew from now until New Year’s Day! COACH Now why you gotta call them disgusting? COLE Because putting a human beign up for grabs like this is disgusting and The Lightning Crew should be ashamed of themselves. COACH Hey, they’re just doing whatever they can to make Vitamin X happy. They love that guy, and they know how much he wants Stacey, so they’re going to give her to him the best way they know how! COLE You would say that. You’ve never had a successful relationship in your life! COACH Screw you, Michael. Screw you. Mr. Boricua poses on a second turnbuckle and then heads to the outside to yell at the fans. The lights go back on in the arena and "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds dies down. COLE This won’t be an easy match for Colombian Heat. We can tell you that much. COACH This is 6’9" 300 pounds of pure granite Colombian Heat is facing! He’s dead meat! A piano plays a melody causing the crowd to cheer. The lights go down in the arena, turning back on in tune with the melody. *COME ON!* *BOOM!* Pyro explodes, leaving behind fire that burns on both sides of the entrance stage. "Gasolina (Remix)" by Daddy Yankee featuring Lil’ Jon and Pitbull starts playing. The entrance doors slide open, and Colombian Heat comes out, not as energetic as usual. In fact, he is quite somber. Heat is holding Stacey Robertson by her left hand as he steps out onto the entrance stage. Stacey, wearing a green tanktop with gold trim, a gold necklace, gold bracelets, diamond earrings, tight blue jeans, and black heels is also quite serious. Heat and Stacey look at each other, kiss, and then walk down the entrance ramp, with Heat slapping fans hands along the way. BUFFER And his opponent. Accompanied to the ring by his manager and girlfriend, Stacey Robertson. Originally from Bogotá, Colombia, but now residing in Miami, Florida. Weighing in at 180 lbs. He...is...COLOMBIAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN HEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT! COLE Well you know, Colombian Heat didn’t ask for this. He didn’t want to put his girlfriend up for grabs like this. This was all Tha Puerto Rican’s idea. HE thought of this! And if Colombian Heat does happen to lose tonight, then Heat will have even MORE of a reason to hate PRL! COACH And if he wins? COLE Then maybe Vitamin X can leave Stacey alone, and Heat can concentrate on winning the HI-YAH World Tag Team Titles! COACH ...Nah, not going to happen. Colombian Heat walks around ringside, slapping hands with the fans, and then climbs up the ring steps. Mr. Boricua is in the ring and is looking intensely at Heat. CH holds the ropes for Stacey Robertson to enter the ring. Stacey then holds the ropes for Heat to enter. COLE Look at Colombian Heat. Look at the expression on his face. It’s almost as if he’s not sure of himself. Like he doesn’t think he can win this match. COACH That’s because he CAN’T. Colombian Heat has never faced Mr. Boricua one-on-one before. Oh sure, he’s faced him in tag team matches before...which he has lost! But never in a one-on-one match. He has every right to be afraid, because he WILL lose and Stacey Robertson WILL have to spend New Year’s Eve with The Lightning Crew! COLE I hope for Heat’s sake that he wins, because I can’t imagine how he would feel if Stacey were to be forced to spend the rest of the year with The LC. COACH He’d feel absolutely devastated. Which is why I want him to lose. COLE You have no sympathy for other people, do you? COACH What’s that? COLE *Sigh* Colombian Heat gets on the second rope and does the "WESTSIIIIIIIDE" hand signal, receiving cheers. Heat then kisses Stacey Robertson once again. Stacey leaves the ring. Mr. Boricua cracks his knuckles and snorts. Colombian Heat stands in a corner, pulling on the top rope as "Gasolina (Remix)" continues playing. He has a serious expression on his face. COLE I don’t think Heat’s going to do his pre-match routine! COACH Good. Spare us another week of his crap! Referee Mike Chioda pats down Colombian Heat and Mr. Boricua. Then, he calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* NO DISQUALIFICATION MATCH COLOMBIAN HEAT (with Stacey Robertson) vs. MR. BORICUA (If Mr. Boricua wins, then Stacey Robertson must spend New Year’s Eve with The Lightning Crew) "Gasolina (Remix)" by Daddy Yankee featuring Lil’ Jon and Pitbull dies down. The crowd is hot, rooting Heat on. Mr. Boricua flicks his wrists and sneers at Colombian Heat, who stands his ground. Suddenly-- *THE CHAMP IS HERE!* "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" The PRL entrance video plays on the AngleTron, and "Know Your Role ’99" starts blasting over the P.A. system. The entrance doors slide open, and out comes...Thomas Rodriguez. Thomas runs out carrying a leather recliner, which he places near the edge of the entrance stage. COLE What the? What’s going on? Thomas then sets a table with a bowl of grapes in it next to the recliner. Finally, he dusts the recliner with a dust buster, and then heads back through the entrance doors. He comes out with "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez! COLE PR and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez? What are they doing here? PR and Lindsay motion for someone else to follow them. It’s Vitamin X. COACH And Vitamin X too! Thomas Rodriguez acts like a waiter, seating PRL and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez on the recliner. Thomas then leaves through the entrance doors. PRL is still in his ring gear from earlier tonight and places his HI-YAH World Tag Team Championship belt over the recliner. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez is wearing a blue dress shirt, red tie, $500 Rolex watch, black leather skirt, and black heels, and gets a seat on the lap of The Corporate Champ. Vitamin X decides to simply stand next to the happy couple and watch the match. COLE Vitamin X, PRL, and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez are watching this match from the entrance stage! COACH They’re getting a nice front row seat. No wait, this is even better than front row! The perks of being the Corporate Champion! Lindsay starts feeding PRL grapes. Stacey Robertson looks at Vitamin X with disgust. X responds by waving to Stacey. Colombian Heat jaw jacks with The Lightning Crew members as "Know Your Role ’99" continues playing. COLE Heat obviously not happy with this development. You just know that The Lightning Crew isn’t going to stand there on the entrance stage. COACH Would you relax? They just want to enjoy the match. When has The Lightning Crew done something shady? COLE Do you really want me to answer that question? Mr. Boricua sees Colombian Heat jaw jacking with PRL, so even he is smart enough to realize that he should attack now, which he does! "Know Your Role ’99" dies down as Mr. Boricua starts hammering away at Colombian Heat. Stacey Robertson watches on with a worried look on beautiful face, while PR and Lindsay cheer Boricua on. COLE And Mr. Boricua is not surprisingly in control of this match at the start! Mr. Boricua continues hitting Heat with the CLUBBERIN’~! THEY BE CLUBBERIN’~! forearms. Boricua grabs Heat by his right arm and then gives him an Irish whip into the ropes. Boricua goes for a big boot, Heat ducks under it, bounces off the ropes, and fires with a leg lariat! However, Mr. Boricua doesn’t fall! Still, Colombian Heat starts punching Mr. Boricua in the face repeatedly, trying to daze the big man. COLE Colombian Heat doing whatever he can for Stacey! For his girlfriend! For the woman that he loves! COACH We get it, Cole. Colombian Heat bounces off the ropes again-- *BAM!* But gets booted in the face by Mr. Boricua! COLE Awww! And Colombian Heat almost got his head taken off by Mr. Boricua! The crowd boos. Vitamin X is neither smiling nor frowning. He is just staring intently at the match, knowing that the result is of utmost importance to him. Lindsay feeds PRL some more grapes as Mr. Boricua picks Colombian Heat up and gives him a Russian Legsweep. He then follows with a leg drop across the throat of Heat. "LET’S GO HEAT!" "LET’S GO HEAT!" "LET’S GO HEAT!" "LET’S GO HEAT!" Boricua covers Heat. 1... 2... KICK OUT! Mr. Boricua yells. I don’t know why, he just does. Boricua picks up Colombian Heat, who is already weakened. Mr. Boricua punches Colombian Heat square in the face. Colombian Heat punches Boricua. Boricua punches Heat. Heat punches Boricua! Back and forth they go, engaging in a slugfest! Mr. Boricua gains the advantage, punching Colombian Heat again and again, and then whipping him into the ropes--Colombian Heat reverses--and fires with an AJ Styles-like dropkick! The punches take Mr. Boricua into the ropes, where he rests. Colombian Heat then charges forward and clotheslines Mr. Boricua over the top rope and onto the floor! COLE Whoa! Colombian Heat clotheslining Mr. Boricua! What a move! Mr. B rests on the outside, catching his breath. Colombian Heat looks at the worried Stacey, and then climbs the top rope. Heat is hunched over on the top rope as he waits for Mr. Boricua to get up. COLE Mr. Boricua better watch out! Colombian Heat is going to fly! Mr. Boricua slowly gets back to his feet. Boricua stumbles around...and Colombian Heat jumps off the top rope with a flying crossbody! CAUGHT by Mr. Boricua! Mr. Boricua charges forward, and slams Colombian Heat’s back against a ring post! COLE Oh! What a shot! Colombian Heat’s back has been brutalized by Mr. Boricua! Boricua yells, and then hoists Colombian Heat up in the air in a gorilla press slam position. He then drops Colombian Heat on the edge of the barricade! And follows with another clothesline! PRL and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez applaud Mr. Boricua on their recliner. COLE And The Lightning Crew is loving this! COACH Every minute that passes is another minute closer to Vitamin X getting Stacey Robertson. COLE That is something neither Colombian Heat NOR Stacey Robertson want to happen! Mr. Boricua grabs Colombian Heat by his head and slams him on top of the ring steps! Mr. B then starts choking Colombian Heat with his bare hands, but Heat knees him in the gut to stop it. Colombian Heat forearms Mr. Boricua in the face. He then does it again. And again! And again! And again! The crowd comes alive as CH grabs the stunned Boricua and whips him into the barricade--NO! Mr. Boricua reverses, and it’s Colombian Heat who hits the barricade HARD! COLE It seems like no matter what Colombian Heat does, Mr. Boricua is ready. COACH That’s because Mr. Boricua is SIX-FOOT NINE, YOU DUMB ASS! COLE You don’t have to be so mean about it, geeze! Boricua pulls Colombian Heat off the barricade. Vitamin X is still intently watching the match. Mr. B punches Colombian Heat repeatedly in the face. He then headbutts him. Then, Mr. Boricua turns Colombian Heat around, hooks him up, lifts him up, and gives him a Full Nelson Slam on the floor! COLE Full Nelson Slam! Full Nelson Slam on the floor! What a brutal move from Mr. Boricua! COACH He is just DOMINATING Colombian Heat! He is just going to lose big time! Mr. Boricua yells some more. Boricua snorts and then picks Colombian Heat up by his head and red T-shirt. Mr. Boricua yells again, and then whips Colombian Heat into the ring steps, right shoulder first HARD! The camera cuts to Stacey Robertson, who is fretful for her boyfriend. Heat collapses onto the floor, looking completely out of it. Mr. Boricua grabs another pair of ring steps and tear them up from their position at ringside. He throws them onto the floor and then goes over to where Colombian Heat is. Boricua stomps on the back of Heat for a few minutes, then goes back to where the ring steps are and picks them up, lifting them over his head. COACH Uh-oh! Uh-oh! Colombian Heat is in trouble! Look out! HA! HA! Mr. Boricua lifts the ring steps high over his head... *KA-POW!* AND GETS HIT WITH THE PELE KICK FROM COLOMBIAN HEAT! COLE The Pele Kick! Pele Kick from Colombian Heat! COACH Oh, he can hit it from anywhere! Mr. Boricua lies on the floor, the ring steps over him. The crowd starts cheering again. Colombian Heat struggles to get up. Stacey Robertson is biting her nails. PRL and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez are growing increasingly worried. Vitamin X continues watching the match with a blank expression on his face. Heat uses the ring apron to pull himself up. While he does this, the crowd boos as CUBAN WALL comes out! COLE Oh no! Cuban Wall is here! Cuban Wall has an evil smile on his face as he walks down the entrance ramp. He walks right behind Stacey Robertson. Stacey bumps into Wall, and screams when she turns around and sees him. Wall laughs as Stacey walks backwards, away from Wall. COLE What’s Wall doing? Why is he out here? COACH Just showing support for his tag team partner at Mainframe Monday, that’s all. COLE Vote now! The crowd boos. Colombian Heat has picked Mr. Boricua up. But when he sees Cuban Wall stalking Stacey Robertson, he turns his attention towards him. COLE Colombian Heat isn’t too keen with Cuban Wall being near Stacey! COACH He isn’t too keen with ANYBODY being near Stacey! He’s so paranoid! Colombian Heat runs up to where Stacey and Wall are and tells Wall off. He gets in front of Stacey Robertson and yells at Cuban Wall. Cuban Wall surprisingly just backs off, nodding his head. Wall goes back to the entrance ramp. Heat gives Cuban Wall a dirty look. COLE Well, that was weird. Cuban Wall just backed off. COACH Something’s up, Michael. And I can’t wait to find out just what that is! Colombian Heat checks to see if Stacey Robertson is okay. He then goes back to where Mr. Boricua is...and gets kicked in the stomach! Mr. Boricua then clutches Colombian Heat by his throat. COLE Oh no! COACH Oh yes! The crowd boos loudly. Stacey Robertson looks on as does Cuban Wall. Mr. Boricua lifts Colombian Heat up, holding onto his back. Boricua walks over to the announcer’s table. COLE Incoming! MR. BORICUA CHOKESLAMS COLOMBIAN HEAT THROUGH THE ANNOUNCER’S TABLE! COLE Holy--! The crowd can’t believe it, and neither can Stacey Robertson. Heat is convulsing on what is left of the announcer’s table. PRL and Lindsay applaud this. Mr. Boricua yells. "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" Mr. Boricua picks up the dazed and confused Colombian Heat. Stacey puts her hands over his mouth, worried for her man. Mr. B throws Colombian Heat into the ring. PRL sneers at the crowd. COLE PRL and Lindsay Gonzalez are loving this. Mr. Boricua is this close to ending the match and giving Stacey Robertson to The Lightning Crew! Boricua sneers, grunts, and yells. Boricua picks up Colombian Heat. He growls and then punches him in the face. Colombian Heat punches Mr. Boricua in the face. Mr. Boricua punches Colombian Heat in the face. Heat punches Mr. Boricua in the face. Back and forth they go. Boricua! Heat! Boricua! Heat! Boricua! Heat! Boricua! Heat! COLE And look at this! Colombian Heat is fighting back! Heat punches Mr. Boricua. He punches him in the face again. He then punches Mr. Boricua in the face AGAIN! Colombian Heat DANCES~! And then punches Mr. Boricua a fourth time to complete the Shake, Rattle, & Roll. But Mr. Boricua doesn’t fall! So, Colombian Heat heads to the ropes and clotheslines Mr. Boricua! Boricua stumbles, but doesn’t fall! Heat bounces off the ropes again. Clothesline, but Mr. Boricua STILL doesn’t fall. Colombian Heat bounces off the ropes a third time and hits another clothesline. Mr. Boricua ALMOST falls. So, Colombian Heat bounces off the ropes a fourth time and leaps up, hitting Mr. Boricua with a leg lariat to knock him down! "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COLE He did it! Heat did it! He just knocked down the almost 7-foot Mr. Boricua! COACH OH NO! COLE Oh, you’re back. Darn. Colombian Heat gets the crowd fired up. Mr. Boricua lies in the center of the ring. Heat sees this and gets an idea. Colombian Heat looks at the crowd...and then kicks Mr. Boricua’s right hand onto his chest. COLE Hey. Hey. He’s not going to-- COACH No! That’s stealing! Stealing like the thug that he is! COLE Colombian Heat is going to do it! Colombian Heat points a finger at Tha Puerto Rican, who is NOT pleased at what Heat’s about to do. Colombian Heat removes his Colombian flag bandana and throws it down on Mr. Boricua’s head. He then does some weird hand signals, and then SHIMMYS~!, before bouncing off the ropes, leaping over Mr. Boricua, bouncing off the opposite ropes-- *WHAM!* AND INTO A FLYING CHAIRSHOT FROM VITAMIN X! COLE OH MY GOD! The crowd is shocked! Vitamin X quickly slides out of the ring with the steel chair in his hands. The shock turns to booing as Colombian Heat lies on the mat next to Mr. Boricua. COLE Oh no! This can’t be happening! This really can’t be happening! Stacey senses things are about to get worst, and her eyes start tearing up. VX is frantically ordering for Mr. Boricua to get up. Cuban Wall, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, and Tha Puerto Rican just watch while the crowd chants, "HEAT!" COLE Mr. Boricua is down. Colombian Heat is down! I get the feeling that whoever gets up first will win the match! COACH That was amazing! What an incredible chairshot from Vitamin X! Can we see that again? The OAOAST Double Shot Replay brought to you by Starbucks shows us the instant replay of Vitamin X’s flying chairshot on Colombian Heat from different angles. COLE Vitamin X using his great leaping ability to hit Colombian Heat with that chair! And he may have just turned the tide. Colombian Heat could be moments away from losing Stacey Robertson to The Lightning Crew for the rest of the year! Mr. Boricua starts to get up. Vitamin X is still holding the steel chair with his hands. Colombian Heat also starts getting up, but Boricua is already sitting on the mat. Colombian Heat is fatigued, breathing hard and perspiring like mad. Still, he uses all the strength he’s got left to move his shoulders off the mat. Mr. Boricua, also sucking in wind and sweating, uses the second rope to pull himself to his right knee. COLE Stacey doing her best to get her boyfriend up! Stacey is slapping the ring apron, yelling for Heat to get up. Mr. Boricua uses the top rope to pull himself into a vertical base. Colombian Heat uses the bottom rope to pull himself to his right knee. Mr. Boricua has a sinister scowl on his face. He growls and then walks over to Colombian Heat, who is on both his knees now. The fans in attendance buzz in anticipation of Boricua’s next move. Mr. Boricua grabs Colombian Heat by his head and places him in between his legs. COLE He’s going for it! He’s going to end this match right now! COACH Do it Boricua! Do it! Do it for The Lightning Crew! Do it for Vitamin X! Vitamin X is nodding approvingly. Cuban Wall raises his hands in the air. PRL and Lindsay yell in victory. Stacey Robertson has no choice but to watch as Mr. Boricua grabs Colombian Heat and lifts him up over his head. A hush silence falls over the crowd as Boricua holds the weakened Heat up in the air for a few seconds. THEN SLAMS HIM DOWN TO THE MAT HARD WITH THE LATINO BOMB!!!!!!!!!!111111111 COLE The Latino Bomb! Mr. Boricua with that Powerbomb, what he calls the Latino Bomb, on Colombian Heat! Colombian Heat lies on the mat, spread-eagle. His eyes are glazed over. The crowd boos loudly as Mr. Boricua snorts, yells, and then gets on his knees. Mr. Boricua covers Colombian Heat, hooking Heat’s right leg. Mike Chioda gets into position to make the count. The rest of The Lightning Crew counts along. Stacey Robertson says a silent prayer. 1... 2... 2 1/2 2.99999999999999999999999999999999999 COLE Kick out, Heat! Kick out! 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *DING DING DING* (10:12) COLE No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! NO! The crowd is deflated. Vitamin X jumps up and down, dropping his chair in the process. "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds starts playing as Stacey Robertson stands there in shock, realizing what must happen now. Mr. Boricua gets off of Colombian Heat and yells some more. BUFFER Here is your winner...MISTERRRRRRRRRR BOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIICCCCCCCCCCUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAAAA! Therefore, Stacey Robertson MUST SPEND New Year’s Eve with The Lightning Crew! PRL and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez applaud from their recliner chair. "No Chance In Hell" continues to play as Vitamin X runs around the ringside area celebrating his "victory". The shock has turned to boos as the fans are unhappy with this result. COLE Well, I can’t believe it. I’m not really surprised, but I still can’t believe it. Stacey Robertson, the girlfriend of Colombian Heat, is now being FORCED, I repeat, FORCED to spend the next four days with The Lightning Crew! She’s basically The Lightning Crew’s slave for four days! COACH Correction, she is VITAMIN X’S slave! Get it right! COLE Oh that somehow makes it worse! Colombian Heat is still knocked out. Cuban Wall stalks Stacey Robertson again. Stacey tries to back off, but Cuban Wall grabs her by her long red hair and then hoists her onto his left shoulder. Cuban Wall smiles evilly as he walks with Stacey Robertson over his left shoulder up the entrance ramp. Stacey Robertson screams and yells, trying to escape Cuban Wall’s clutches, but it’s no use. Still, she keeps on fighting to free herself as Cuban Wall laughs manically. Vitamin X walks up the entrance ramp next to Cuban Wall and taunts Stacey, licking his lips and making kissing noises. Mr. Boricua exits the ring and joins up with Brains & Brawn. Mike Chioda checks on Colombian Heat, who is showing signs of life. COLE What a horrible scene. What a depressing, horrible scene! COACH What a night for The Lightning Crew! They have managed to eliminate both #1 Contenders to PRL and Popick’s HI-YAH World Tag Team Titles in one night! COLE This is such a rotten way to end 2006! Stacey Robertson is being held captive by The Lightning Crew! This is a horrible way to end our last HeldDOWN~! of the year! Stacey lunges at Vitamin X, who ducks and continues taunting her. "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds continues playing as the crowd boos. Cuban Wall, Vitamin X, and Mr. Boricua join up with Tha Puerto Rican and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez on the entrance stage. Thomas Rodriguez then comes out to check on Stacey Robertson, who is still flailing away on Cuban Wall’s left shoulder. Meanwhile, in the ring, Colombian Heat is crawling around, a defeated man. COLE Stacey Robertson has been dragged away from the love of her life! She must now spend the next 96 hours with The Lightning Crew! She must be away from her boyfriend, from her family, from everyone she knows and cares about for New Year’s Eve! And all to fulfil some sick fantasy from one of the most disgusting men I’ve ever seen in my life! "THE CORPORATE CHAMPION" THA PUERTO RICAN On behalf of everyone in The Lightning Crew, including our honorary member, Stacey Robertson, we would like to wish all of you pieces of trailer park trash, especially you Colombian Heat, a very Happy CORPORATE New Year! See you in 2007! HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Thank you and good night! "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds starts up again. PRL blows a kiss to the crowd. He then puts his HI-YAH World Tag Team Championship belt over his left shoulder, and puts his right arm around Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez’s shoulders. The couple exits through the entrance doors, followed by Thomas Rodriguez, Mr. Boricua, Vitamin X, and Cuban Wall with Stacey Robertson still yelling and screaming and fighting to escape on top of Cuban Wall’s left shoulder. The crowd is still booing despite The Lightning Crew (and Stacey Robertson) having already left. The camera cuts to the ring where Colombian Heat is using the second rope to pull himself up. COACH Happy New Year, PRL! COLE What a downer to end this show, to end 2006. Everything’s absolutely chaotic in this company! What’s in store for 2007? For Jonathon "The Coach" Coachman, I’m Michael Cole saying so long for now! We’ll see you this Sunday for the 2006 OAOAST Angle Awards and on Monday, New Year’s Day, for the New Year’s Spectacular: Mainframe Monday! See you then! Colombian Heat struggles to get to his feet. The camera does a close-up of Heat’s face as he uses the top rope to help himself up. Heat is shaking a little, sweating, breathing hard, and crushed with tears forming in his eyes. He starts to sniffle, knowing that he has lost his girl to The Lightning Crew, as the crowd continues booing and "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds continues playing. This is the last image we see as 2006 comes to a close. FADE OUT Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
