KingPK 0 Report post Posted January 1, 2007 We fade in to a helicopter shot of Daytona Beach, Florida at night. A sustained tympani note is heard as the Angle Awards logo comes onto the screen. JOEL GODDARD Live from the fabulous Hilton hotel in beautiful Daytona Beach, Florida, it's the 2006 Angle Awards, showcasing the best of the year that was in the One And Only Anglesault Thread! Scheduled to appear: Anglesault! Zack Malibu! Bruce Blank! Maria! Landon Maddix! Drek Stone! and many others! We go into the fabulous hotel ballroom where the stage is set towards the back of the room. It is a wrestling ring cut in half with golden ropes and a red carpet as the ring floor (think the '96 Slammys) with a large representation of the Angle Award trophy, a golden Kurt Angle with his arms thrust into the air, behind it. Around the stage are about 20 tables where the stars and staff of the OAOAST sit with friends and tag partners. A pan around the room shows that The Hooligans have their own table on one side of the room while the Wildcards sit on the other side. Neither group is exactly what you would call "formally" dressed for this event, as evidenced by the dirty cowboy hat that sits in front of Bruce Blank and the shirt and jeans look of the Hooligans. Of course, Theodore Moneymaker is wearing a suit that probably cost more than most people make in six months. Behind the tables, a group of bleachers sit where about a hundred lucky fans are able to watch the festivities live. JOEL And now, your hosts for the evening, Tony Schiavone and Jesse "The Body" Ventura! Applause greets Jesse and Tony as they walk onto the stage to the podium. Both are dressed in tuxes and, surprisingly, Jesse's keeping his low-key. He puffs on a cigar as Tony takes the mic. TONY Good evening everyone and welcome to the 2006 Angle Awards! Another year is about to come to an end, so it is time for our annual look back at the best that the OAOAST has brought our great fans around the world. At the mention of the fans, the crowd in back lets out a round of cheers. TONY Tony, I still can't believe that something that started off with the word ::beltshot:: is still alive and kicking five years later. Tonight, before we have our first ever interactive show, Mainframe Monday, tomorrow night, the stars of the OAOAST are vying for one of these beautiful statuettes. This is the greatest awards show..... JESSE "...in the history of our sport", right? You are so predictable, Tony Schiavone. Let's just get things going with our first award. TONY Fine. Our first award is for Most Entertaining Character. Here are the nominees: - Drek Stone - Landon Maddix - Zack Malibu - Tha Puerto Rican - Christian Wright - Hooligans Jesse picks up the envelope as Tony holds the award. JESSE And the winner is.......Landon Maddix! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" Landon leaps from his table, receiving high-fives from his fellow Wildcards before walking up to the stage and snatching the trophy from Schiavone. MADDIX You're damn right Most Entertaining! I don't call myself The Saviour Of The OAOAST because it markets well, because it doesn't. It's because I save the OAOAST from mediocrity! And this award, this is proof. This is admittance. This is acceptance for Landon Maddix. You... love me. You REALLY love me! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" MADDIX Good news is, I'm going to entertain even more in 2007. You only saw half a year's worth of entertainment this time around, next year is going to top that and then some! Hey, maybe I'll even bring Landon Live! to the OAOAST. If I feel you deserve it. Until then, buy my t-shirts. Thank you! The house band (a jazz band called "Brian Boherty and The Blowin' Bajas") plays as Maddix walks off the stage. JOEL Here to present the award for "Most Welcome Return or Debut", here is one of the OAOAST's crack interviewers, Josh Matthews! Music plays him in, but the shrill screams that fill the air drown it out as Josh struts his handsome self onto the stage. He waves and blows a kiss to his adoring fans as he puts the statuette on the podium. JOSH Thank you. Thank you, ladies. GIRL I LUV U JOSH~!!~! JOSH Thank you, I love you too. GIRL I'M STILL GETTING THAT $50 FOR SAYING THAT, RIGHT? Josh stammers for a second before composing himself. JOSH *Ahem* The ranks of the OAOAST grew once again in 2006; some new arrivals from the SWF spiced things up while favorites returned. Here are the nominees for Most Welcome Return or Deubt: - Drek Stone - Anglesault - Wildcards - Theodore Moneymaker - James Riggs - Beverly Hills Blonds JOSH And the winner is........Drek Stone! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" Music plays as everyone looks around to see where Stone is seated, but nobody rises up and walks to the stage. The music stops and everyone looks at each other, confused. Suddenly, a be-headsetted producer approaches Josh and whispers something into his ear. JOSH Oh, you have to be kidding me. The producer gives an apologetic look before scurrying off-camera. JOSH Ladies and gentlemen, although he was scheduled to appear tonight, Drek Stone is not here. Apparently he was called in to do emergency re-shoots for his new movie. The camera catches Zack Malibu shaking his head in disgust. JOSH So, I accept this award on his behalf. Josh picks up the award and walks off stage. JOEL Coming up next, the awards for Best Title Reign, Comedy Match of the Year and Feud of the Year. Stay tuned. Commercial break Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted January 1, 2007 (edited) The Blowin' Bajas play us back from commercial break as we go to the lovely Maria who is in the fan area, trying to keep a radiant smile among the fans that are mugging for the camera (and probably ogling her in her strapless red gown). MARIA We're back! This is Maria and I'm here with the fans because I want to hear what they think should win some of these awards tonight. (Sticking the mic in front of a guy in his 20s wearing a Zack Malibu shirt) Who do you think will win Feud of the Year? FAN (shouting) I THINK IT'S GONNA BE BRUCE BLANK VS. ZACK MALIBU BECAUSE BRUCE IS A DICK AND ZACK RULES!!1!1!!! ZACK RULES!!!!!! MARIA (quickly bringing the mic back) Okay, that's one fan's opinion. Let's go back to the stage. The Blowin' Bajas play the OU fight song as the Sooner Bruisers walk to the stage. Frank howls to the fans as Uber stands in front of the mic. UBER The next award is for Best Title Reign, but the guys that made these nominees screwed up because you've got the OAOAST World Tag Team champs right here, but we're not nominated. We punked out the Heavenly Suckers already and we can beat Black T any day of the week. That's all right though, because tomorrow we're going to go through five of this place's best teams and show everyone who is the best around here. FRANK *Howls* UBER Here are the nominees: - Alfdogg (World Title) - Zack Malibu (HI-YAH World) - Peter Knight (World) - Brock Ausstin (Heartland title) - Heavenly Rockers (Tag) UBER Still can't believe those punks got nominated. Yeah, *tears open envelope* the award goes to Alfdogg! "BOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Alfdogg rises from his table, which is adorned with little Canadian flags, and walks up to the stage to the strains of "O' Canada". ALFDOGG First off, I'd like to thank all my fans in the great nation of Canada for cheering me on this year as I dominated this company as it's champion, showing more taste in champions than these Americans. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" ALFDOGG Second, I want to point out the hypocrisy of this Amercian company when it comes to the current champion, Drek Stone. The man has not defended his title in months and even walked out on a big pay-per-view match. If a Canadian was champion and did that, you'd have stripped him of the title already and probably would have suspended him without pay. This is the kind of corruption of the system that made me turn to the north and see how things really should be done...... *The "get off the stage" music begins* ALF Fine, you can silence me now, but I have more to say and I will do so when I win more of these awards. Thank you, Canada!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" Alf walks off the stage and back to his table, where Deon Black sticks a Canadian flag in one of the hands of the statuette. JOEL In an award given out earlier tonight, the Comedy Match of the Year went to the Run For the Gold II match from Living Angleously. To present our next award, here are the former HI-YAH Tag Team champions, D*LUX and their manager, Jade Rodez. D*LUX and Jade walk out to applause, though Tha Puerto Rican and Stephen Joseph take the time to stand and laugh and mock them, causing Jade to have to calm her charges down before taking the mic. Cuban Wall and Mr. Boriqua point at them, telling them "we'll get you tomorrow." Things calm and Jade begins to speak. JADE It's great to be here tonight. First, I just wanted to pass along a message from my brother to all of you, thanking you for all the cards, letters and....uh, "reading material" that I'm not allowed to touch. *Applause* We quickly cut to Landon Maddix and the Wildcards sharing a smirk at the memory of nearly crippling him in WarGames and then cut to Zack Malibu watching them, the anger obvious on his face. JADE Um, the next award is for Feud of the Year. Here are the nominees: - Peter Knight vs. Alfdogg - Zack Malibu vs. Bruce Blank - Drek Stone vs. Tha Puerto Rican - Hooligans vs. Wildcards - Alfdogg vs. Brock Ausstin Jade daintily opens the envelope. JADE The winner is......uh oh.....Zack Malibu vs. Bruce Blank! From across the room, Malibu and Blank eye each other, with Blank offering a tip of his cowboy hat. The room falls silent, as no one is sure what's going to happen next, or which of the two superstars will get up to accept the award. Finally, Malibu gets up, looking back at Blank, who speaks in a low tone to Todd Cortez. Zack gets to the stage and is handed the award, taking a moment to look at it before looking at Blank. MALIBU You know, after all he's done, I think it's only fitting that Bruce be the one to take this award home with him. After his statement, Malibu takes the award...and hurls it at Blank's table, shattering the centerpiece and scaring the bejesus out of The Wildcards! Angrily, Blank starts to storm the stage, but the room goes into RED ALERT~! mode, as security and most of the roster form a wall, prevening the two men from tearing each other apart! It's chaos at the Angle Awards, as we quickly cut to break to restore order. Commercial break Edited January 1, 2007 by KingPK Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted January 1, 2007 Security seems to have everything under control as we return from break, though now a pair of burly security guards now are seated mere feet away from both Zack Malibu and Bruce Blank. JOEL In an award given out earlier tonight, the Best PPV Event of 2006 was AngleMania V. Back to the stage where Tony and Jesse are back. TONY A deserved award, Jesse. JESSE No doubt about that, Tony. AngleMania V was a great night of action which had three matches nominated for our next award, more than any other pay-per-view event this year. TONY Of course, you are talking about the Pay-Per-View Match of the Year. A note to our fans: tonight, after the Angle Awards presentation, we will air all three Match of the Year winners: the Run for the Gold II which won Comedy MOTY, the match that wins this award, and the Free TV MOTY in their entirety, so stay with us and ring in the new year with the OAOAST. JESSE Here are the nominees for PPV MOTY: - Peter Knight vs. Alfdogg for the OAOAST World Title (AngleMania V) - Two For the Money ladder match (AM V) - Alfdogg vs. Brock Ausstin in a 60-minute Spin the Wheel, Make the Deal Iron Man match (Zero Hour) - Drek Stone vs. Tha Puerto Rican in a Towel Match for the OAOAST World Title (World Without End) - PRL vs. Thunderkid in a Steel Cage (AngleSlam) - Women's Scramble Match (Anglepalooza) - Wildcards vs. Hooligans (GAB) - Drek Stone and Hoff vs. Black T (AM V) - Leon Rodez vs. Landon Maddix (AngleSlam) Jesse opens the envelope. JESSE Well, this a bit of a surprise, but well deserved. The Match of the Year is Leon Rodez vs. Landon Maddix from AngleSlam! Maddix rises from his table with a fist pump and walks to the stage, closely followed by one of the security guards. JOEL This is Maddix's second award tonight. He also won Most Entertaining Character earlier in the night. MADDIX On behalf of Leon Rodez, who isn't here tonight... and because I WON the match and should therefore accept the award anyway, I accept this award for Match Of The Year, with the sounds of thousands and thousands of smart marks chanting 'That was awesome' and other such overused crap still ringing in my ears! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" MADDIX It'd be wrong of me not thank Leon Rodez here publicly. He gave me one hell of a fight. Of course, in the end, he got pinned by a figure four leglock and came away with nothing but humilation. But, hey, at least he could still walk back then. Landon flashes a thumbs up into the audience in Todd Cortez's direction. To no responce whatsoever. MADDIX I'd also like to take this time to thank someone else responsible for winning this award... myself. After all, without me, it wouldn't have been the greatest match on Pay Per View this year. When I came into the OAOAST, I vowed to humiliate your 'brightest star' at AngleSlam and I did just that. I also vowed to show you all what a truly talented wrestler looks like and I did just that as well, by stealing not only the show, but the entire YEAR! And I've got news for all of you workrate deprived OAOAST fans, because there will be PLENTY more where that came from in 2007. The Saviour Of The OAOAST will continue to save buyrates. To save TV ratings. To save shows from plunging into complete mediocrity. And he will continue to put on Match Of The Year candidate after Match Of The Year candidate, just because he can! Starting tommorrow night, when you fans vote for me one more time, to take the World Title from Drek Stone at the New Year's Spectacular! Thank you! Maddix waves the award in the direction of Zack and Co. before walking back to his table. Zack is livid, but controls himself. JOEL Ladies and gentlemen, here to present the Angle Award for Tag Team of the Year, a renowned tag team specialist who held the World tag team championship with 4 different partners, the longtime enforcer of the 4 Horsemen...ARN ANDERSON. Classic music accompanies Arn to the ring because we couldn't get the rights to the Horsemen theme. Everyone in the room giving Double A his due because he's Arn Anderson. ARN I'm honor to have been asked to present the Angle Award for Tag Team of the Year. Throughout the years I tagged alongside some of the meanest and most gifted men this sport has ever seen. From my days as a member of the Minnesota Wrecking Crew with cousin Ole, tagging with Tully Blanchard, the Enforcers, and the last man I ever held the tag title with Bobby Eaton, I've seen or competed against every great tag team the sport had to offer. That's why I'm proud to have my name associated with the Anderson Cup and the OAOAST, a promotion that has brought back tag team wrestling to the forefront. It's one thing to be a singles competitior, it's a whole other thing to be part of a tag team. You have to think singularly and work collectively. Some have done it, others haven't. These 5 teams have. Let's take a look. JOEL The nominees for Best Tag Team of the Year are... Brief clips and soundbytes putting over each team are aired. D*LUX The Beverly Hills Blonds Stephen Joseph Popick and Tha Puerto Rican Black T The Sooner Bruisers Cut back to Arn on the stage, with all the nominees shown in split-screen. ARN The Angle Award for Best Tag Team of the Year goes to... (opens envelop) ...Simon Singleton and Ned Blanchard, the Beverly Hills Blonds! Estatic, the Blonds share a manly hug before shaking hands with all the other Enterprise members. Their music blaring overhead, Simon and Ned walk up to the podium. Blanchard hobbling every other step to make his so-called groin injury seem genuine. Anderson extends his hand to the Blonds and is snubbed. Fortunately for event organizers, Anderson remains calm, cool and collected. SIMON Get your cameras out because the next one or two minutes will be the greatest in your lives. NED As if there were any doubt who the Tag Team of the Year was. So without any further ado, I'd like to get on with it because they're alot of people I'd like to thank, namely myself and Simon. Without us the tag division would still be stuck in 2004 and not real time. SIMON Just like the hottest tag team in the business today would be trapped in the 1980s if we hadn't broken away from a middle aged man clinging onto the glory days when wrestling was recorded live in front of a studio audience of 100 and hooked up with the visionary that is Mackenzie DeCenzo. NED From a visionary to an entrepreneur. The man who'd slap Donald Trump's hair to the other side if he tried getting in a pissing contest with him, Theodore Moneymaker. He saw what Mackie was putting together so the businessman that he is, he sought a working arrangement with SMN Productions and ended up merging his company, Moneymaker Enterprises, with ours to form the premier entity in business The Enterprise. SIMON We also wanna give some mad respect to our boy Christian Wright. With him apart of our organization there isn't a person alive who could stop us from running roughshod over the OAOAST. NED In closing, I want to update everyone on the injury I sustained weeks back. An injury that kept me from pulling double duty tomorrow night, which being the competitor that I am I would've taken on with the same fire and determination as all my other bouts. Thank you for all the cards, letters and e-mails being sent. They mean alot to me in this time of great disappointment in not being able to compete on a full-time basis. But I assure you you're gawking at the next World tag team champions. 24 hours from now a pair of shiny gold belts will be wrapped around our waists. SIMON And that's a wrap! The Blonds pose with their awards as we go to break. Hey wrestling fans, hear the news? The 3rd annual Anderson Cup is about to hit your tube Ever wonder where all the tag team action is at? Well look no further than the One & Only Anglesault Thread. 16 teams, 2 conferences A tournament so big but only one tag team can move onto AngleMania VI Now listen up, a word to the wise You can catch all the action as it happens live TSM is the place to be, starting January 4th you can catch all the happenings So don't miss a minute, the action will be hot and heavy With the finals taking place on Syndicated February 23rd, 2007! 3RD ANNUAL ANDERSON CUP Beginning January 4th on TSM Commercial break Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted January 1, 2007 (edited) JOEL Here to present the award for Most Underrated Wrestler, here is former OAOAST World Champion and three time former OAOAST World Tag Team champion, Tony Brannigan! Simply Ravishing plays over the sound system as Tony makes his way on to the stage, receiving warm applause from most of the tables and crowd (you can guess which table isn't). TONY Thank you. We have many wrestlers in this company that encompass many different styles and attitudes. With so many bodies, it is easy to overlook someone that has the tools to become someone great, say, a CWM, a Leon Rodez, or a Zack Malibu. "YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" Zack smirks at the ovation from the fans and gives a thumbs up, breaking out of his grumpy mood for a minute. TONY That being said, this award is for the Most Underrated Wrestler of the year. There were too many nominees to list here, so let's just see who the winner is. Tony picks up the envelope. TONY The award goes to........Colombian Heat! The crowd cheers! Colombian Heat pumps his fist, and then high fives Spanish Fly (who’s wearing a grey zoot suit with black pinstripes, a gold chain, and his mask of course). Heat then happily jogs up the stage and accepts his award and handshake from Tony. Heat is dressed for the occasion. He’s wearing a tuxedo, his Colombian flag bandana on his head, and a giant clock around his neck. "HEAT!" "HEAT!" "HEAT!" "HEAT!" COLOMBIAN HEAT Wowwwwwwwwwwwwww! HA HA! Okay, okay! Yo, big ups to the 3-0-5! Put ’em up! The crowd cheers even though most of them probably have no idea what Heat just said. HEAT A’ight. A’ight. Yo, thank you very much fors giving me dis award for Most Underrated Wrestler of the year. It means alot to me that youse guys would vote fo’ me. I’s like to send a shout out to mah homie, Spanish Fly, for always havin’ mah back. And I’s like to thank mah moms and dad for havin’ me, for being good parents, an’ for always supportin’ me. Dis has been one wild, crazy year, yo, and even though I’s is not in the best of moods, having dis award...well...it kinda makes everrything feel better, you know what I’m sayin’? So, thank y’all, from the bottom of mah heart. Thank you. I’s appreciate it. The crowd cheers some more. Heat nods his head and raises his trophy over his head. HEAT And yo, and yo, dis award iz great, nah mean, but...but I would feel much better if mah girl, Stacey, was here wit me. Stacey, I love you, you’re mah inspiration, mah reason to live, and I’ma come get you real soon! So don’t give up hope, Stacey! Your boy’s coming to get’cha! A’ight, dat’s all I’s got to say. Later, yo. Thank you. Peace. Colombian Heat throws up a "W", and then leaves the stage with his award in his right hand. As Heat walks back to his table, he hears Vitamin X say something to him. Heat stops in his tracks, turns around... AND STARTS PUNCHING VITAMIN X! "YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" The crowd cheers as Heat uses his award as a weapon, hitting VX over the head with it! Luckily for X, he’s using his hands to block the shots. PRL and Cuban Wall try to pull Heat off of Vitamin X, but are unable to. Finally security comes and pull the furious Colombian Heat away from Vitamin X. COLOMBIAN HEAT GIVE ME BACK MAH GIRL! GIVE ME BACK MAH GIRL! GIVE HER BACK TO ME! GET OFF ME! The crowd chants Heat’s name again as he’s dragged out by security. Heat still holds onto his trophy as he is taken away. Spanish Fly has no choice but to watch his best friend get forcibly removed for the 2006 Angle Awards. The Lightning Crew checks on Vitamin X. VITAMIN X That guy is crazy! He’s CRAZY! JESUS! Vitamin X adjusts his tuxedo jacket and bowtie. He then fixes his hair. The X-Man lets out a curse word and then adjusts his tuxedo some more while Tha Puerto Rican, Stephen Joseph Popick, and The Lightning Crew look to the exit with dirty looks on their faces. "THE CORPORATE CHAMPION" THA PUERTO RICAN He’ll pay for this, X! He’ll pay! MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ We’ll get him, X. Don’t worry. Don’t worry. We’ll get him, X. "HEAT!" "HEAT!" "HEAT!" "HEAT!" As the crowd chants, we cut to Maria once again in with the fans. She is looking over in the direction of the commotion, but someone offscreen gets her attention and she looks back to the camera with a smile. MARIA All right, I'm back for more choices from the fans. She turns to a 17-year old kid wearing a black OAOAST hat and khakis. MARIA So, what was your Most Feel-Good Moment of the year? The kid lewdly looks her over. KID Well, I think I'd have to say looking at you, Maria. You're making me feel pretty good right now. Maria looks at the kid quizzically as he gets high-fives from his friends. MARIA Ooooo....kay. Oh, we're ready for our next award. Please welcome to the stage two of the newest OAOAST stars....James Riggs and Staci! The band plays a version of Dani California as Riggs, wearing a white pinstriped suit and trademark sunglasses and Staci, who looks stunning in a blue dress that is VERY low-cut. The males in the fan section hoot and holler at Staci while the females scream at the sight of Riggs. JAMES Thank you. (Puts his arm around Staci) Yeah, look all you want, but you can't touch. We're here to deliver two awards, because the monkeys in the back know that everyone watching right now has been waiting with bated breath for a look at the OAOAST's new power couple, JaCi. First, here are the nominees for Best Feel-Good Moment of the year: - Alfdogg wins World Title at AMV - Zack Malibu wins HI-YAH World Title at Zero Hour - Peter Knight wins World Title on January 1st - Bohemoth spinebusters Christian Wright (5/12 HD) Riggs hands the envelope to Staci, who scowls at the hoots and catcalls as she opens the envelope. STACI And the Best Feel Good Moment was......James four times last night! James lets out a snobbish laugh as the crowd boos. STACI Really, the winner is......Alfdogg winning at AngleMania! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" Alfdogg walks back up with a purpose to the stage and pushes aside Riggs as he grabs the award. JOEL This is Alf..... ALFDOGG (interrupting) Now, where was I? Oh yeah, I find it typically American that I made so many people so happy when I did something that they wanted me to do, but when I align myself with such fine company as Team Canada and The Manitoba Mammoth Deon Black and try to set this country straight on things, I get booed out of every arena! I.... More "get off the stage" music plays as Riggs nudges him away from the podium. RIGGS You are taking up my screen time and we've gotta move the show along. Alf fumes as he walks back to his table and puts another Canadian flag in the hand of his second award. STACI Next, here are the nominees for Most Shocking Moment of the year: - Peter Knight and Axel turn on Zack Malibu - Drek Stone returns - Anglesault returns (8/10 HD) - Bruce Blank's home invasion - Caboose's forced retirement - Upstarts piss on OAOAST banner Riggs takes the envelope and opens it. RIGGS It is no surprise to me or anyone else that the most shocking moment of 2006 is Bruce Blank’s invasion of the Malibu household. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! SCHIAVONE (off-screen) Now, now people let’s not throw garbage at the award winners, we’ll lose our rent deposit. Bruce seems totally oblivious to the booing and the occasional prawn cocktail being hurled in his general direction as he walks up to the podium with a can of beer in one hand and a big, condescending grin on his face. Even Riggs and Staci look disgusted as they hand the award over. Bruce admires how Staci fills out her dress and gives her a buzzed wink before he picks up the award. BRUCE BLANK Hey look, book ends! I’d like to say that I’m honored by this award, honored and humbled… but you all know that’d be a big crock of s*it so I won’t lie to you. When I put on my best and cleanest t-shirt to come here tonight I wanted one award – one award above them all. This one right here!! This one here says that I’m doing something right, that I’m the guy that makes EVERYONE in the OAOAST sit up and go “Oh crap it’s Bruce Blank, what’s he going to do next” Bruce grins and then gives the Angle award a kiss BRUCE BLANK You people really need to get out more man! I mean we go visit the Malibus all nice and friendly to congratulate them on their new baby and stuff and that’s “shocking”? (Bruce’s grin widens) I got news for ya’ll – you ain’t seen nothing yet, we’re just hitting our stride in the OAOAST! 2007 will be the year of the Wildcarders… kinda the way 2006 was. So bend over and kiss your asses goodbye! And with that Bruce walks off with his beer and his award. Zack begins to stand, but the GPX calm him down. JOEL Up next, the awards for Free TV Match of the Year, Best Face and Heel and the award for Male Wrestler of the Year. Stay with us. Commercial break Edited January 1, 2007 by KingPK Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted January 1, 2007 (edited) JOEL In an award given out earlier tonight, the Most Entertaining Segment (non-match) award went to the Love Shack from the 5/13 Syndicated. We go to the stage where once again Tony Schiavone and Jesse Ventura stand. TONY Well, Jesse, it's time for the final Match of the Year presentation. This time, it's the award for Free TV Match of the Year. JESSE This award combines all the matches from the 52 or so HeldDOWNs that took place this year as well as the Syndicated specials hosted by yours truly. TONY Here are the nominees: - WarGames (10/28 Syndicated) - Philly Street Fight (11/30 HD) - Zack Malibu vs. Faqu (6/8 HD) - Drek/Hoff vs. Black T in a steel cage (5/14 Syndicated) - Torneo Cibernetica (8/10 HD) TONY And the Free TV Match of the Year, which you can see right after this show concludes, is.......WARGAMES!! Malibu and both of the GPX stand up, as the rest of the room (minus The Wildcards and Landon Maddix) rise to their feet, applauding them for their efforts in War Games. The three take to the stage, and Scotty Static opts to be the spokeman first. STATIC Much love to ya for noticing the hell we went through for this. Ya'll recognize it wasn't just for us, but for you as well, and we thank you. JAX We wanna give a shoutout to our man Leon Rodez as well, because he sacrificed a lot going into that match, and we're accepting this award in his honor, hopin' he gets back on his feet ASAP. Leon, we love ya baby! The GPX then clear a way, allowing Malibu up to the podium. MALIBU Like the boys said, this one's a bit of a bittersweet award. Knowing that we put on a hell of a contest, but still living with the fact that in the long run, it didn't really serve it's purpose. It didn't solve anything, and if anything, it just threw more gas on the fire. Still, you know that with the OAOAST you get 110% from us, and we appreciate the recognition for our efforts. This one is for you, Leon. Music plays the group off as Tony and Jesse also clear the stage. JOEL Here to present the award for Rookie of the Year, here is the man that won the 2005 Rookie of the Year, Christian Wright. Wright walks onto the stage amid boos, though the Enterprise table gives him a standing ovation. WRIGHT Salutations on this auspicious night! As was previously stated, I did indeed receive this prestigious award last year and it is my honor to be able to present the Rookie of the Year for the year two thousand and six. May you achieve the grand success that I have found in the new year with my associates, Mr. Moneymaker, Mr. Singleton, Mr. Blanchard, and Miss DeCenzo. The nominations are: - D*LUX - Landon Maddix - Bruce Blank Wright opens the envelope. WRIGHT And I am pleased to present this award to......Mr. Landon Maddix. Maddix rises again and walks to the podium, not exactly as jubilant as he was with his other awards. JOEL This is Landon's fourth award of the night. Along with sharing the PPV and Free TV MOTY awards, he also won Most Entertaining Character earlier. MADDIX Rookie Of The Year? Maddix eyes the award, looking a little underwhelmed. MADDIX Rookie Of The Year. Me. Heh... you know, I've been wrestling for three and a half years. I'm a former two-time SWF World Heavyweight Champion, former SWF International Champion, four-time SWF World Tag Team Champion, three-time SWF ICTV Champion, two-time SWF USJL Champion, 2005 SWF Clusterfuck Winner, 2004 Cold Front Classic Winner, former OAOAST 24/7 Champion. And now, I'M the Rookie Of The Year!? It just goes to show how ignorant you OAOAST fans really are when a former two-time World Champion can be voted the Rookie Of The Year! Clearly not grateful for his award, Landon is actually holding it upside down. Unbeknownest to him, but just the right sentiment. MADDIX I guess I should be honoured that I'm SO good, I can win awards I've got no right being nominated for. So, thank you ignorant voters for this meaningless statuette. If the impact I've made this year warrants Rookie Of The Year status, then next year, I'm a shoo-in for Wrestler Of The Year once I've got another World Title on my resumé. And if you think I'll still have this award on my mantlepiece by the time that belt is wrapped tightly around my waist, then I've just got two words for ya. E. Bay. Thank you! Maddix walks back to his table, holding the award like someone holding a bag of dog crap. JOEL Now, to present the award for Best Face and Best Heel, here are the offical voices of OAOAST HeldDOWN~!, Michael Cole and Jonathan Coachman! The HD theme (whatever the hell it is), plays the duo out onto the stage as they get warm applause from the crowd. COACH HOLLA! COLE Thank you everyone. Coach, quite a year it's been, hasn't it? COACH .......... COLE ........I said 'Quite a year it's been, hasn't it?' COACH ......... COLE Jonathan!? COACH What? That prompter thing is frozen. COLE We work together every week on HeldDOWN and you need a prompter to talk to me? COACH Well then I have the whole day to prepare myself for meaningless small talk with you. And I'm not half in the bag on rum & Coke. COLE You know that we have a show to do tomorrow, right? COACH Believe me, the hangover will help. COLE *Sigh* Here are the nominees for Best Heel: - Bruce Blank - Alfdogg - Tha Puerto Rican - Drek Stone - Landon Maddix COLE And the winner for Best Heel in 2006 is… it’s Blank COACH Doesn’t it say anything on the paper? COLE Yeah....it’s Blank COACH But doesn’t it say anything on the paper? COLE Yes it does: Blank COACH Alright we’re getting nowhere here, you’re making less sense than Gene Okerlund COLE The winner is Blank, Bruce Blank you idiot! Cortez reaches over and nudges Bruce to get his attention, it seems that the Redneck Superman has dozed off a little bit during the boring (I.E. Non-Wildcard related awards) But once he finally realizes that he’s won another award he gets to his feet and staggers towards the podium in a manner not seen since Richard Burton won his last movie award. JOEL This is Blank's fourth award tonight. Along with sharing the award for Feud of the Year and Free TV MOTY, he also won Most Shocking Moment earlier. The big man takes the award and then heads over to the microphone stand. He’s about to say something, then he stops and reads the award. Apparently what he reads doesn’t please him one bit as he puts the award down with a loud clunk and then turns towards the crowd with an evil, angry expression on his face. BRUCE BLANK Best Heel? BEST HEEL? That’s so typical of the OAOAST, so damn typical isn’t it. Bruce stops for a moment and just glares at the award while shaking his head BRUCE BLANK I don’t believe this s*it! The OAOAST has been trying to paint us as the bad guys since day one! They’ve made it very clear that they don’t like us, just because we came from the SWF and we were proud of it! We’ve been discriminated against from DAY ONE! We’ve been up front with everyone the whole time, we tell it like it is and just because you don’t like the plain and simple truth that WE --- ARE --- JUST --- PLAIN --- BETTER!! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! BRUCE SUCKS!! BRUCE SUCKS!! BRUCE SUCKS!! BRUCE SUCKS!! BRUCE BLANK Just because YOU GUYS can’t accept that …. Because YOU GUYS don’t like to have your illusions of superiority shattered *WE* are the bad guys? Nah, that ain’t right – that ain’t right at all. This award is bullshit! This award belongs to everyone here who’s stepped into the ring and professed their love for the OAOAST! This one belongs to all of you delusional sons of bitches out there who can’t handle the truth! Come on Todd we’re leaving! Bruce staggers down the steps and over to the Wildcard table where he and Todd leave with their guests. They make sure to pick up the three Angle Awards that they won earlier in the night but Bruce has left the “Best Heel” award up on the podium in disgust. Cole and Coach take their positions at the podium once again, looking at the discarded award. Coach suddenly snatches it. COACH I WON!! I WON AN ANGLE AWARD!!! (Sobbing) I wanna thank my mama, my head waxer and Eric Bischoff. SUCK IT, COLE, I WON!!! Coach suddenly runs off the stage and out of the room. COLE ........Yeah. Here are the nominees for Best Face: - Bohemoth - Zack Malibu - Leon Rodez COLE And the award goes to........who else? Zack Malibu!! The room explodes with applause, as Bruce Blank rolls his eyes, half expecting Malibu to have had a lock on his award. Zack makes his way to the stage, and is met with a standing ovation from his peers, as he takes the mic. MALIBU It's sort of flattering, you know, the reputation I've earned amongst you all, and more importantly the fanbase. However, they often say a hero is only as good as the villain he plays off of. So to be called the Best Babyface is giving just as much credit to Bruce Blank as it is to myself. He's over there in the corner, rolling his eyes at me, but Bruce, you and I both know that even though you have brought out a darkside, and seen the worst in me, everyone here, everyone watching, knows that you deserve what you get. Heroes don't necessarily need to be pure, whitebread baby-kissers. A true babyface is someone not afraid to speak his mind, take a stand, and protect that which loves and cares about. For sticking up for this company for the past five years, for standing up for our roster, and on a personal note my family, I humbly accept this award, and hope that as we enter our fifth year of existence, I can carry out those qualities that you find so admirable. Thank you very much! Another standing ovation greets Zack as he walks off, looking over at Bruce with a smirk, though Bruce is more occupied with trying to grab a waiter for his 15th glass of bubbly for the night. JOEL Here to present the award for Best Stable, here are Mean Gene Okerlund and the lovely MARIA~! Gene and Maria walk onto the stage to loud cheers and applause, which Gene foolishly thinks is for him. GENE Well, Maria, you look ravishing tonight. MARIA Thank you, Gene. It's been a great night of....uhh.....awards-giving-out and it's time for us to give one out ourselves! GENE You are excited, aren't you? Why don't you read the nominees? MARIA Ok. The nominees for Stable of the Year are: - The Wildcards - The Hooligans - The Enterprise MARIA Wait a minute....none of those have any horsies in them. And that last one is a spaceship. GENE Heh heh, that's why we love you, Maria. There certainly are many worthy nominees for this award but the winners are… *RIP* Oh great *rolls eyes* the Wildcarders!! Bruce breaks out into a loud, deep laugh as both he and Todd Cortez make their way towards the podium. Cortez heads straight for the award while Bruce veers off to the ring, pushes a waiter to the side and then grabs a bottle of champagne off the bar TODD CORTEZ First of all Bloodshed couldn’t be here tonight as he’s busy polishing all his SWF titles!! Cortez laughs, but he seems to be the only one, not even the Wildcarder associate Landon Maddix finds it funny that Alan "Bloodshed” Clarke holds more SWF titles than he does. TODD CORTEZ We came, we saw… and we destroyed the competition!! I mean seriously who can hold a candle to us? The Upstarts? Where the hell did they go? The Originals? Oh oops weren’t we recruited by one of them to fight their battles? So who’s left? The little Hooligans? Or that group of guys… erm… they’re like USS Voyager or something equally lame MARIA That's what I said! BRUCE BLANK WILDCARDS RULE!! And that seems to be Bruce’s only contribution to the acceptance speech as he pops the champagne open and then pours it over Todd Cortez and then himself in celebration. JOEL We'll be back with the award for Male Wrestler of the Year, and the awards for the Writing Categories (because I want to finish this up before the year is out). Commercial break Edited January 1, 2007 by KingPK Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted January 1, 2007 (edited) JOEL To present the final Character Award of the evening, please welcome the Owner of the OAOAST and the Chairman of the OAOAST....Anglesault and Cowboy Bill Watts! The most powerful duo in the company walk onto the stage. ANGLESAULT Well, this is it Bill, the final character award of the night. BILL Seven men all thought by their peers to be the best in this buisness. Let's see who is the best of the best. 'SAULT The nominees for Male Wrestler of the Year are: - Alfdogg - Zack Malibu - Drek Stone - Tha Puerto Rican - Peter Knight - Landon Maddix - Bruce Blank Anglesault offers the envelope to Bill, but Bill motions Anglesault to do the honors. 'SAULT Ladies and gentlemen, the Male Wrestler of the Year is.........ALFDOGG!! The Canadian table erupts in cheers as Alf comes to his feet with a wide grin on his face. Reluctantly, the rest of the room rises as well and gives the winner the recognition he deserves. JOEL This is the second year in a row that Alfdogg has won this honor as well as his third award tonight. Alfdogg walks up onto the stage and shakes hands with both 'Sault and Watts, but he quickly pulls away to the microphone. ALFDOGG To recap what I said earlier: America is a land full of egotistical hypocrites who only reward those who do something to their benefit...... WATTS You know, people are already starting to leave. Let's just give out the rest of these Writing awards and then you can go on about whatever you like, ok? Alfdogg reluctantly walks back to his table and adds a flag to his third award. WATTS Now then, let's finish this night up, eh? These final four awards are in recognition of the work done behind the scenes to keep this well-oiled e-machine called the OAOAST running to entertain our fans all over the world. First, here are the nominees for Most Undervalued: - Ed Wood Caulfield - Tony149 - King Cucaracha - Papacita - KingPK BILL And the award goes to......Tony149! The REAL Tony walks onto the stage amid applause to accept this award. TONY I'd like to thank everyone who voted me Most Undervalued for the second year in a row. It means alot to me since I've spent countless hours rebuilding a once nearly extinct tag team division in addition to my duties posting our "pay-per-view" events. For better or worse my work throughout the last 3 years has left me the face of the tag scene, but that's certainly not the case. Without the contributions of Mystery Eskimo, Patty O'Green and most recently KingCucaracha none of what you see today would be possible. The same can be said for SpiderPoet and LaParkaYourCar, the original keepers of the tag team division, if I remember correctly. Many of them have moved on now, but their work is not forgotten. This coming spring, April 7th to be exact, the OAOAST will celebrate its 5th anniversary. Never in my wildest dreams did I except a thread that started off as a joke to become what it is today. Writers have come and gone. We've experienced our fair share of trials and tribulations, but that little place at the bottom known as the OAOAST has managed to survive all these years. Again, thank you for this honor. More applause as he walks back to his table. 'SAULT Next, the award for Best Promo/Segment Writer. The nominees are: - Ed Wood Caulfield - Zack Malibu - King Cucaracha - NYU - Patty O'Green - Tony149 'SAULT And the award goes to.....King Cucaracha! KC steps up to accept the award. KING CUCARACHA Talk about a double-edged sword, now I've got to come up with the best acceptance speech to warrant winning this. First, I can't help but mention Patty O'Green. And a lot of this imaginary e-fed award that STILL doesn't come with a cash prize for some reason should be shared with him, because working with him and his characters for the first third of the year was nothing but fun and inspired me to write probably my most enjoyable segments of the year. I often look fondly back at that time and wonder where most of my magic went afterwards, but maybe that's just me. God knows how many years ago it was now that I started out in roleplay feds, before I stumbled upon the SJL and SWF. Writing here is a great mix of the two and it's always fun to rip lines from great shows like Scrubs and The Simpsons and pretend they're my own work, for your own enjoyment. Just like Grey's Anatomy and Family Guy. HI-YOOOOO!! But, seriously, thanks to those who voted for me, over the (quite) numerous other writers who've also done great work for no real reward (i.e cash prize) this year. This'll be a great excuse to palm off match-writing duty whenever I'm feeling lazy next year, to concentrate on what I'm apparantly good at, segments and promos. Even if most of my characters, promos, segments, whatever, are basically stolen from whatever indy promotion I'm into at the moment, it's good to know they're appreciated nonetheless. Watch more PWG and CHIKARA! Thank you. WATTS Next, the award for Best Match Writer. The nominees are: - Phoenix Fury Legdrop - Zack Malibu - Ed Wood Caulfield - Alfdogg - Tony149 - King Cucaracha BILL And the award goes to.....Zack Malibu!! Zack comes up to accept. Once again, Malibu takes to the stage, this time to accept an award for his efforts "outside" of the squared circle. MALIBU It appears I'm cleaning up tonight, now doesn't it? I guess all that there is to say is thank you, to everyone who finds my efforts entertaining enough to warrant this award. We've got some great writers here, each with their own distinctive style, but to find mine to be the head of the pack...it's encouraging to me, and hopefully your enjoyment continues as my efforts do in 2007. Thanks again! Zack walks off. ANGLESAULT And now for our FINAL award of the night (thank God), here are the nominees for Best Overall Contribution to the Fed: - King Cucaracha - Zack Malibu - Bruce Blank - Ed Wood Caulfield - KingPK - NYU 'SAULT And the award goes to.......once again, King Cucaracha! KC walks up again to accept his second writing award. KING CUCARACHA Boy. This one I wasn't expecting to win. I'm not sure how much of a contribution I've really made per se, especially compared to the likes of Alfdogg who's carried the workload on so many occassions, especially in the middle of the year. The likes of KingPK, who's carried out the one job I can't really do from my humble home here in England, post shows on time. The likes of Papacita, who's provided such great graphics for the shows for so long. Maybe I deserve this award for taking on another 50 characters to my control, even if they're all out on loan half the time. That's probably not an exagerration either. Since Patty bowed out, I've been co-controlling the majority (and now all, I guess) of Tony's tag characters and that's pretty much kept me going most of the year. As I've said to him before, I've kinda become a movename and nickname guy, writing matches and promos is just a side interest. So, this is the perfect chance to thank him for letting me barge in on his territory and commander his characters. Another thanks goes to Zack, for giving me a reason to bring in yet another character (nevermind that I don't have time to write them all, oh no!), Landon Maddix. It's been in the works for a while that I wanted to use Landon here. Plans changed, here and there, but it's given me a new lease on writing because I'm so familiar with the character. Scarily, I've been writing that character for three and a half years now. Thanks too to him for handling most of Landon's contribution, plus O'Hara and Rodez a lot of the time. Bruce too, thanks to him. Uhm... I'm not sure what to say here really, I'm not sure I really deserve this one so much. I'll take it though, sure. I guess I did come up with the idea for tommorrow's show. Where the fed would be without THAT, I don't know. Thank you! KC walks off stage along with Watts and Anglesault. We cut to Tony and Jesse on the floor. TONY That's gonna do it for us this year. Congratulations to all the winners and we will see you tomorrow night for Mainframe Monday!! Jesse, any parting words? JESSE Just that, once again, the pleasure....was all yours. ©2006 OAOAST Entertainment. All Rights Reserved. Fade to black Edited January 1, 2007 by KingPK Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
