PROMO: "Go Getta"

[Chuck Woolery 0]

"My cab driver got lost in the half-mile from the airport to the hotel and I've spent the last hour driving around this shithole staring at bad pizza joints and homeless people, so you'll forgive me if I'm not Mr. Sunshine, sunshine."

 

Calvin's bothered tone is reflected in his appearance as he enters the lobby of the Holiday Inn Express in Buffalo, New York. His gold tie is looser than usual, and the sleeves on his dress shirt are rolled up past his elbows -- funny, considering that it's about twenty degrees in Buffalo. His short hair is matted with sweat and his walk is swift and pronounced as he walks to the front desk, snapping his cell phone shut.

 

"I'm here to check in."

 

"Name?"

 

"Calvin Szechstein. The room's charged to Island in the Sun Marketing."

 

"I... don't see your name listed."

 

"Bull SHIT you don't."

 

"Sir!"

 

Calvin takes a deep breath and looks away from the plain, pale brunette behind the counter. He looks back up, apology in his face. "I'm sorry, it's been kind of a rough afternoon."

 

The girl smiles. "Don't worry about it. I just found out I'm pregnant."

 

"That's..." Calvin pauses, collects himself, and smiles. "That's wonderful. How far along are you?"

 

"Four months."

 

"That's great."

 

"Calvin Szechstein?"

 

Another woman. Calvin turns around to eye her; tall, dark brown hair tied back, dressed about as business casual as Calvin, sans tie. She eyes him carefully. "Miranda Burgess. Mr. Business sent me along to help you out."

 

Miranda turns to the girl behind the counter. "He's staying with me, ma'am."

 

"Oh, okay. Sorry for the confusion."

 

"As am I." Miranda turns back to Calvin. "I've got your things up in the room. We have a lot of things to go over before you go out tonight, so it's important that we start now."

 

Miranda briskly turns and begins walking towards the elevator, leaving Calvin to follow. "Did you know that girl is pregnant?"

 

"No."

 

"I don't know why but it really interests me..."

 

---

 

"So we've got a deal with Sony Music for your entrance music."

 

It's three hours later in Room 213 in the Holiday Inn Express in Buffalo, New York, and Calvin Szechstein is sifting through papers while Miranda explains every single one of them to him. The two of them sit on one of the two beds in the room; papers are spread all over the bed, and there are various boxes sitting on the bed as well. Calvin appears to be paying little attention, but looks can be deceiving -- Szechstein is not one of the heads at Island in the Sun for nothing, right?

 

"What are they giving me?"

 

"It's on the sheet. They're trying to broaden the fanbase for these guys, move a few thousand more CDs. Let's face it, most wrestling fans aren't exposed to this kind of music, and it's a catchy song."

 

Calvin looks at the sheet in front of him, and then looks back at Miranda. "Are they joking?"

 

"Afraid not."

 

"Miranda... I don't really have a choice, do I?"

 

"Afraid not."

 

"Okay. We'll let that slide."

 

"Good." Miranda flips through her own papers. "Royal Crown Cola purchased the rights to name that tilt-a-whirl piledriver you use."

 

"You know what a tilt-a-whirl piledriver is?"

 

"No, but apparently they do. It's now going to be called The Pause that Refreshes."

 

"..."

 

"Yes, I know, that's a Coca-Cola catchphrase. Funny story, Royal Crown paid a lot of money to buy it and now they're trying to associate it with their cola, and they figure the easiest way to do that is by naming your finisher after it."

 

"That doesn't even make SENSE."

 

"Calvin, it's what they wanted. I don't think they became the third-biggest cola chain in the world by doing things that don't make sense."

 

Calvin sighs. "What else?"

 

"Royal Crown also purchased the rights to your tights... Milwaukee's Best purchased the rights to your swan-dive headbutt, so that'll now be The Milwaukee's Best Headbutt."

 

"That's not so bad."

 

Miranda flips through some more papers. "There's a few other companies here and there who have naming rights to some of your moves, nothing too major though." Miranda looks down on the sheet, then gestures to the boxes on the bed. "You're also going to need these."

 

Calvin looks on his sheet, then looks up at Miranda with a smile. "Whoa, now, let's try to be professional."

 

Miranda sighs, shooting Calvin a disgusted look. "You're an ass. We had to work hard to get the contract with them, and one of the things they wanted was product placement with wrestling fans."

 

"If they're wrestling fans, they're NOT going to need these."

 

"Well, that's your opinion."

 

Calvin sighs. "You know, if these people would let me work out a marketing plan instead of just throwing me on television with their products plastered all over me, we could move a whole lot more product."

 

"You realize, of course, that in addition to your SWF salary, you're receiving cash every time the Royal Crown logo on your tights is visible. For every time the phrase "Milwaukee's Best" is said on television. For every time you put the Caesar's Palace tattoo on your back. For..."

 

"I get it, Miranda." Calvin smiles. "This isn't my first rodeo."

 

"Then you understand that it's not about you."

 

"Yep."

 

"And you understand..."

 

"You know what, Miranda?" Calvin sighs again -- it's happening a lot more often and it can't be a good thing. "I understand."

 

"Good. Now, Cadillac wants you to incorporate a spear into your offence..."

[Mr. S£im Citrus 0]

... You're determined to make me read the OAOAST, aren't you?

[Chuck Woolery 0]

haha. i'll make sure everything gets explained in time, mon ami.

[Toxxic 0]

This seems to be coming along nicely.