KingPK 0 Report post Posted January 23, 2007 (edited) This is going to kick off the show and doesn't lead to anything about anything, but I put the shows together....so HA! [img=http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v82/papacita/OAOAST/HDLOGOBD.jpg] [b][size=5][color=#FF8C00]BOOM![/b][/color][/size] [b][size=5][color=#FF8C00]BOOM![/b][/color][/size] [b][size=5][color=#FF8C00]BOOM![/b][/color][/size] [b][size=5][color=#FF8C00]BOOM![/b][/color][/size] [b][size=7][color=#FF8C00]B-O-O-M~![/b][/color][/size] Through the smoke cuts a quartet of spotlights that scan the crowd in -- *looks at graphic* -- hey, Boston, Massachusetts! We SWOOP~! over the crowd and head over to Sofa Central. COLE We are just 72 hours away from the first OAOAST pay-per-view spectacular of 2007, Anglepalooza! Good evening everyone, Michael Cole here with you again along with the Coach as we are ready to begin the Road to AngleMania in Providence on Sunday night. Tonight, we will reveal some of the names that have been signed for the 30-man over the top rope Lethal Rumble, as well as..... Suddenly the attention of the crowd turns to a scrawny man in a grey hooded sweatshirt as he walks down the aisle. COACH What the....? The camera gets a shot of him and we see that the sweatshirt reads "New England Patriots" and that he has a clipboard tucked under his arm and is wearing a headset like most football coaches wear around his neck. He walks up the ring steps and steps through the ropes, grabbing a microphone from Michael Buffer. He nervously stands in the middle of the ring and looks around at the crowd as some begin to boo as they realize who this man is (or is supposed to be). MAN H-h-hi. My name is Josh McDaniels.....and I-I-I'm the offensive coordinator for YOUR three time Super Bowl champion New England Patriots! "YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" "JOSH" Ok....so I wasn't the coordinator for any of those, but I SWEAR that Charlie listened to me every time I had an idea! I-I just wanted to come out here, in front of you all, and try to explain why, after we had such a good first half running the ball against the worst rush team in the league....that we only rushed the ball five times in the second half. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" "JOSH" I said I can explain that! See....when I was walking back to the locker room after the first half, nature called and it couldn't wait until I got all the way to the locker room. There was a bathroom right there where I ran into this gentlemen in a Peyton Manning...... [b]"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!"[/b] "JOSH" Yeah, I know. Anyway, I was carrying my little clipboard here with all our plays on it and didn't want to get any...uh....fluids on it. He offered to hold it for me while I did my thing, so I gave it to him. When I came out, he was gone and my clipboard was on the floor and......well.......all the running plays were torn out of it. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" "JOSH" I'm SORRY!! I tried to remember all the plays I could, but you don't understand the pressure I was under. Fifteen points isn't THAT big of a lead! Besides, I saw that all the defensive guys were cramping up and I know that walking around is supposed to make you feel better, so I figured if we put them out there as much as possible that they would feel great! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" "JOSH" Hey, I'm not supposed to know anything about athletics. I'm a football coach! I..... [i]On this day I see clearly Everything has come to life....[/i] [b]"YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"[/b] COACH YO~! COLE Wait a minute!!! That's not..... COACH IT IS! Indeed, Peter Knight steps into an OAOAST arena for the first time since August. The Boston crowd goes crazy (he's a Masshole like them, remember) as Knight walks to the ring. "Josh" nervously watches him enter and take another microphone. Knight looks to the crowd and nods in appreciation. "P-K!!" "P-K!!" "P-K!!" KNIGHT Thanks. I appreciate that. "P-K!!" "P-K!!" "P-K!!" COLE Peter Knight, a Massachusetts native and a huge Patriots fan, was as upset as anyone after that game on Sunday night. COACH We almost had an AngleMania V rematch between him and Alfdogg that night! The crowd settles as Knight turns to the other man in the ring. KNIGHT Five times? A hundred and seventy-five yards a game and you run the ball FIVE DAMN TIMES?! "JOSH" As I was telling them, I needed to take a..... KNIGHT (channeling Vince McMahon) SHUT UP! "YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" Knight gives a cold, hard stare to "Josh", who is wishing he was near a bathroom right now. Suddenly, Knight softens a bit. KNIGHT You know....I was absolutely pissed after that game. Seeing you guys blow that big a lead to the damn Colts made me sick. I may be retired from wrestling.... "NOOOO!! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" KNIGHT (To crowd) I'm sorry, but that's true. (To "Josh") I may be retired and doing road agent work, but if you were standing in front of my face that night like you are now....things wouldn't have turned out well for you. "YEAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" "Josh" theatrically gulps and begins to shake in fear. KNIGHT But.....I've had a few days to calm down and I realize that it's not the end of the world. You lost, but you had the guts to come out here in front of all these fans to apologize, and I can respect that. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" KNIGHT (To crowd) Now hold on. Just hold on a second. People complain that Patriots fans aren't classy and me grabbing this guy and beating him to a pulp wouldn't exactly help that perception. So, all I'm going to do is this. Knight extends his hand. "Josh" begins breathing again, feeling a giant weight being lifted off his shoulders. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" KNIGHT Like I said, you were man enough to come out here and apologize so, on behalf of Patriots fans everywhere.....apology accepted. A jovial "Josh" eagerly takes Knight's hand and shakes it vigorously. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" COACH These people might not like it, but that's a classy move by Peter Knight. COLE No Coach, I don't think these Patriot fans like it much at all. "Josh" continues to shake Knight's hand as he begins to walk towards the ropes. He turns to step through them...... But Knight doesn't let go. COLE Huh? What's this? We cut to a shot of Knight's face......as a sinister smile begins to form. "Yeahhhhhhhh!!!" KNIGHT On the other hand......I've never really cared about what people thought of me, have I? "Josh's" eyes become as wide as saucers as Knight yanks him back toward him......and hoists him onto his shoulders! "YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" COLE WAIT A MINUTE!!! Knight parades around the ring, showing off to all four sides as "Josh" begs for his life. Knight stops in the middle of the ring, spins Josh off...... *WHAM* and drills him into the mat with the Knightmare!!! [b]*CHEERGASM*~![/b] COLE KNIGHTMARE!! KNIGHTMARE!! KNIGHTMARE!! This crowd at the Garden has come unglued! COACH LaDanian was right! None of these people have any class! "Josh" convulses on the mat as Knight grabs a mic and stands over him. KNIGHT I've got one more present for you. Something for your next coaching job. Knight reaches into the back of his pants (EW!) and pulls out a black Oakland Raiders jersey. He drapes it onto "Josh's" body as [i]Metalingus[/i] comes over the PA. Knight thrusts his arms into the air to acknowledge the crowd. COLE Well, I'm sure that made some Patriots fans feel a little better. COACH Oh sure, aggrivated assault would make me cheery. COLE Well, we've got a lot more show to come for you. As I said, we will let you know about some of the participants of the Lethal Rumble as well as the final first round match in the 2007 Anderson Cup as the top-seeded Heavenly Rockers take on the Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew. All that and more coming up tonight on HeldDOWN~! [b]Commercial break or backstage segment[/b] There, I feel better now. Edited January 24, 2007 by KingPK Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
